Bruce Goldberg, hypnotherapist, wrote an article which I've found helpful on the topic of Energy Vampires.
http://www.drbrucegoldberg.com/EnergyVampires.htmAlthough I disagree with some of Dr. Goldberg's concepts, his division of these energy-drainers into categories does allow me to see why I've felt so exhausted after encounters with certain personalities.
Since I'm convinced that awareness is a good portion of the battle, seems to me that applying this bit of info along with properly placed internal boundaries shiould prove effective in warding off the effects of interacting with folks... who tend to leave their victims feeling emotionally whipped. Education and preparation are a far better alternative than fearful avoidance, I think.
Some excerpts:
"Some people, by their very presence, seem to drain the energy of those unprotected people around them. They will often associate with a victim who exhibits the classic signs of this drain.
General debility, lack of motivation and energy, an emaciated physique, a pallid complexion, and an overall sense of weakness are typically noted. These victims also tended to be highly suggestible people. The dominant partner (energy vampire) always resists a successful treatment or protection applied to their victim.
Most of these energy vampires are well-meaning, normal people. They are an unhappy lot, and do their damage by a telepathic draining of their victim's energy resources. Mere separation of two people results in immediate positive changes in the victim."Okay, so I recently separated myself from exposure to someone who had this effect on me... but the effects were
not alleviated.
In fact, at first, they were increased in some aspects. Honestly, it's felt almost as though this person had placed a "curse" of some sorts on me... my punishment for having stepped away.
But the real curse, I think, is based in my own sense of shame at feeling weak for not being able to manage the situation better.
I think maybe I was punishing myself... or just still so saddled with the emotions of the other that it took some time to purge those.
Anyhow, when I asked myself how I might have managed it better, the answer was: prevention!
To continue:
"I prefer to use the term "psychic parasitism" for cases where this energy drain is involuntary and subconscious. If this effect is the result of a premeditated psychic attack, I refer to the perpetrator as an energy vampire.
You will observe this process at work in any public gathering,. The more people present, the easier it will be to note. This could be a family gathering, a lecture, or an encounter at your local movie theater. When I conduct seminars and workshops, it is more than obvious. I discuss this concept and immediately see certain heads bobbing up and down. Even more interesting is the response of their partner. These individuals give more me some of the nastiest looks I have ever seen."Yeah huh. Parasite or vampire, either way, it's a nasty business. I'm still working through all this and trying to mesh this info with what I'm learning about boundaries and the battle against codependent tendancies, as well as spiritual aspects of warfare against the spirits behind the real (deliberate) vamps. But this helps:
"The psychological dynamics represented by people who inadvertently portray a psychic attacker (energy vampire) fall into five major categories.
Fear is the common denominator in these individuals, and you must learn to protect yourself from their negative influences.
The five personality types are called -
ethereal, insecure, paranoid, passive-aggressive, and robotic."
The Paranoid Type
Betrayal is the main issue with a paranoid type....
"Paranoid types are soldiers still trying to win a war that no longer exists against an enemy that has long since perished. They do not trust anyone. Everyone is their enemy and life is their battleground. Fear is everywhere and an ingrained part of their personality makeup.
Their energy fields tend to be more highly charged on the upper half of their body. They are especially fearful and distrustful of members of the opposite sex. Aggression is the most common response to the world from a paranoid type. This aggression takes the form of physical behavior and energy projections to anyone in their path.
Paranoid types constantly pick fights. They are seductive, but are incapable of long-term relationships. This person expects all others to betray them, and will assist in setting up others for this betrayal. A paranoid may initiate a betrayal as a preemptory strike.
To lose for a paranoid is to admit that they are bad. This is intolerable, so these people must win at any cost. They are hard workers, obsessive-compulsive, and are usually quite healthy physically. There is never enough time for them to accomplish their various goals.
Paranoid types insist you agree with their often-distorted view of the world. In reality, they want you to argue with them. This way they can win the argument and prove to themselves that they are good and you are bad.
Never argue with this person. Refrain from making eye contact with them. Lower and soften your voice when you speak to them, and change the topic to something pleasant."I'll stop the excerpts here for now, due to length... but, by the way...
the first thing I thought when reading about this paranoid type is - NPD.
In many respects, this paranoid version of fear was a driving force within npd-ex... determined to engage the entire world in battle to prove that he was good and "they" were bad.
I always sensed this within him, but didn't recognize the dynamics because he glossed it over so well with his facade of independence -
"I don't need anything from anyone." Sensing his fear, I felt sorry for him and did all I knew to do in order to ease that for him.
BIG mistake. As you know - it's never enough and it's never right.
Ex "lost" repeatedly, but always contrived ways to convince himself that his losses were actually wins, at the expense of anyone in his path.
So much blame... so much refusal to accept personal responsibility and accountability... and when all else failed for him, little baby-N would come out to whine and bawl about how wounded he was. Like a small child who pitches a fit when an adult doesn't "let him win" at a game.
More later.
