Nassim
This is not an enviroment where there is a N (parent or other) continuously beating down a right to express or question. Don't need to "fight" N battles with everyone you come in contact with by over-expressing a need that was lacking previously.
On a board like this it can be made plain and simple or difficult.
Difficult = You wanna be right more than anything else.
Simple = You wanna be supportive to others here, above all else. That does not mean not standing up for yourself or asking for clarification, etc., it just means knowing when to, and knowing when to back off.
Honestly, I can't see how someone would not be a bit offended or at least taken aback by the tone & boldness/assumed authority of that e-mail if it were directed at them.
And renee-- what makes you think that S has nothing better to do than to waste energy defending why she feels how she feels? She has enough going on. Do you know what PTSD is like?
And if "S"did explain, I guarantee it would have just led to more denials and conflict, instead of resolution. It is almost a cliche pattern for discussion boards. That is why it is better not even to get into things sometimes.
And no, everyone does not know about Portia's good heart (though it is nice to know) I just got here not long ago.
It seemed like the wrong time for confrontational honesty, and if no harm was intended, then fine. Forget the misunderstanding and move on with good feeling. All Portia had to do in good faith, to keep the peace and help another struggling emotionally, was to apologize that S's feelings got hurt in her attempt to help. That's it.
Everything does not have to be long drawn out therapy because of what happened in life with an N parent or spouse.Sometimes simplicity goes a lot further and adds to the healing process for all parties involved, a lot more.
