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21
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2026
« Last post by sKePTiKal on May 23, 2026, 07:59:05 AM »
Well; surgery itself was fast & clean; and so far he still isn't having any "pain" - which we expected since usually there is a minimal dose programmed for right after surgery. Supplemented with oral painkillers which bring a lot of side effects too, for B. The hard part was wretched/little sleep, and the long drive and just the environment of being in the city.

We've gotten over 3 in of rain in 2 days. It might be 50 outside and solid steel gray skies. I turned the heat back on. Roof started to leak a bit, when the wind got up.

Today tomorrow and Monday is cocoon time.
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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2026
« Last post by Dirty Hippy on May 22, 2026, 11:15:20 PM »
my brother had wanted a pain pump and he rarely actually never talked to me about it. he was on a waiting list for it and then the one doctor in his area could do it moved away and he fell off that list. I guess I still don't know what he was going through exactly. makes me feel like not whining about minor neck pain or doing exercising

Good Luck

23
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again
« Last post by Dirty Hippy on May 22, 2026, 11:11:33 PM »

Thanks Hops. Good luck to you too.

I read hippy is a legit less common English version and some people claim they always saw it as hippy in the 60s. I'm just gonna stick with my original misspell because just owning my own lack of editing? idk

Eating some blackberries and having a free beer I didn't plan.

Going to meet a friend tomorrow do some nerd city stuff. I prefer nature though sometimes one has to compromise.

Reminds me check the forecast. Huh. Well not rain for next week socializing.

Anyhow enough about me I suppose.

Oh I was going to say that I had this bright idea I should make pasta salad to take to visit my friend and we have a picnic amongst doing other things. So I boil the pasta this morning and then come back later and cook other stuff to go in it saute garlic... cut up veggies... make ice ... and I am thinking what the HECK HECKEN HECKERS was I thinking I'm tired and I made a mess and it took time and now I have to wash dishes with my dry skin hands.

All the things I used to like to do they aren't working for me -- picnics, cooking, creating -- none of it is working. Oh wells.
---------------------------------------

I'm not giving up. My alarm is set. My plans kinda laid out and now that I have over planned everything I will exhaustively just relax.
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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again
« Last post by Hopalong on May 22, 2026, 02:19:59 PM »
Very real. Also honest, pragmatic, and in touch with reality.
Good thinking, imo, Hippie. (Lifetime compulsive editing affects my spelling.)

Hard to do when transportation's such a chore, but my experience in recent years is that finding a form of person-to-person volunteering is a soul-saver for the lonely or isolated.

Sending wishes that the right "fit" will be found, even for a dirty hippie.

hugs
Hops
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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2026
« Last post by sKePTiKal on May 22, 2026, 04:21:28 AM »
Thanks ladies! Appreciate the caring and concern. Final departure (yes, this early) underway. More coffee required.
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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again
« Last post by Dirty Hippy on May 21, 2026, 08:44:31 PM »

Church people:

Pros:

- some of them are mellow
- sometimes relaxing
- encourages types of reflection
- I'm okay with prayer
- structure
- community
- it's a type of socializing

Cons:

- I'm not into the "lord" -- "father" -- "king" -- "he" -- "him" -- feels too male dominated talk
- I do not really like the focus on the afterlife part (and this seems to be basically the whole thing of it) - feels cult
- Today I was thinking how their "friendship" also feels like a conversion project -- yuck --
- They are basically still in colonization mode
- I don't want to give them money A) I'm poor B) they send it overseas as many churches do.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I might take a break from church.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

- socializing
- community
- purpose
- positivity
- structure

These things don't have to be linked to the magical daddy king sitting on a cloud in the sky

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Also I am not unitarian -- they are too politically marxist language aligned

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So --- I propose I worship seagull shit

Sigh

enough of this thought pattern moving on

at least I am getting real about me
27
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2026
« Last post by Hopalong on May 21, 2026, 10:34:20 AM »
Permanent pain is hell to live with and also has so much mythology about purification, by which I mean hogwash, around it.

Someone was telling me yesterday that a "new" treatment for severe spinal arthritis pain is actually radiation. I suppose that makes sense, since they can pinpoint any area and reach it without scalpels or damage to other tissue. (If I understood it right, which is always debatable.)

B. must be feeling like that Joe Bltssfyk guy in the old comic. Can't blame him but it's good you model resistance against "always" thinking. My sculptor exH2 was hit head on by a drunk driver on his way to the Art Institute of Chicago with a full load of pieces for a show without a seat belt because he was too manly to need one....had the kind of build-a-back surgery that left him with permanent intense pain. Titanium rods, countless plates and screws, slices of his own ribs and hip grafted around parts of the spinal column, etc. She, the driver, wasn't hurt badly but he's lived with all the consequences and his recovery sounded like torture. Your B's pain story reminds me so much of him. Ex2's scarred back is a 3-D topo map of what he went through...I don't think implant pumps were available to him then. I'd love to introduce those two for a pain bros talk. It's got to be hell sometimes, for both of you.

[Adding gold, pink and salmon light to the cloud above your ride....]

hugs
Hops
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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2026
« Last post by lighter on May 20, 2026, 08:04:49 PM »
Decidedly....
A good war dance is prayer.

Lighter
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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2026
« Last post by lighter on May 20, 2026, 08:03:37 PM »
::adding powerfully charged surgical dance, to my energetic rain dance'round the bonfire::.

Feel free to join in ladies.....Doc?

 Mud, if you ever visit.

If anyone deserves bonfire magic....B surely does on Friday.

To the possibility things go very well!!!

Lighter



30
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again
« Last post by Dirty Hippy on May 20, 2026, 05:06:50 PM »

Yes Skeptical it seems contingent.
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