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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / N.
« Last post by Meh on January 04, 2026, 03:06:05 PM »Some stress. Confirmation stress.
No way I can put down all the details.
Unfortunately I have found my self and at my N F's apartment after not seeing them for decades. It is filthy. They have maximum inertia. This morning I first cleaned out one of the two vacuums that are also covered in dust. I am allergic to dust mites have been tested for allergies years ago on advice of my general provider. Did the skin prick test. Anyhow. 1) I got a dust mask from a box which was also covered in dust. I grabbed the newer looking of the two vacuums and told my N. Relative I was going to clean it out... they started going into some long winded crap which I can't even listen to. I was taking some action they were going to fill up my ACTION with the sound of their own voice and their inertia and negativity. 2) I did the vacuum cleaning in the living area where I am sleeping on the floor. It's not a big area. There are several boxes of cardboard with unused stuff in them. Few days ago I found a pan of rotting food in one of the boxes tht had been sitting like that for two years when N Relative moved into this building. I cleaned under and behind the boxes and then I restacked them up in a much more tidy way. I wiped the surface of stuff down with a damp paper towel. Earlier I cooked some potato and boiled some eggs. I said I am going to put the food away soon if you want some go ahead before I stick it away. They said they would have some.... now they are just lingering around the kitchen but not eating so I can't go in there at the moment... I have decided to type and look out the window... it's only food getting cold it's not worth another argument. I will stay away from their proximity.
But here is the thing after cleaning I said "I took a benedryl don't be surprised if I fall asleep" ... I was just making a statement. They said they were going over to a neighbor's house to watch football earlier. Anyhow when I said I was going to take benedryl... they launched into talking about their health problems something they do all the time. Today right when I had told them I had taken a benedryl for my allergies they started saying they might take a pill for their back pain ALL OF A SUDDEN. They said nothing about it earlier. So even me stating that I am having allergy problems they have to somehow route everything back to themselves. Well they are just milling about right now as I don't look at them. They are not in any apparent pain all of a sudden like they seemed to be complaining about. Anyhow I eventually just reiterated what I said when they started complaining about their back. I just reiterated "well I am having allergy health problems." AND TO THIS THEY RESPONDED TO ME BY SWEARING AT ME AND GETTING MAD AND MEAN. The relative said something like "well than F me" but it's hard for me to type out how they said it. You see I had been wondering over the past couple days if the N actually has a touch of Autism because of the strange behaviors they've got. But This mean self centered outburst just now really seals the deal for me that they are "N," and I should NOT FEEL BAD FOR THEM.
No way I can put down all the details.
Unfortunately I have found my self and at my N F's apartment after not seeing them for decades. It is filthy. They have maximum inertia. This morning I first cleaned out one of the two vacuums that are also covered in dust. I am allergic to dust mites have been tested for allergies years ago on advice of my general provider. Did the skin prick test. Anyhow. 1) I got a dust mask from a box which was also covered in dust. I grabbed the newer looking of the two vacuums and told my N. Relative I was going to clean it out... they started going into some long winded crap which I can't even listen to. I was taking some action they were going to fill up my ACTION with the sound of their own voice and their inertia and negativity. 2) I did the vacuum cleaning in the living area where I am sleeping on the floor. It's not a big area. There are several boxes of cardboard with unused stuff in them. Few days ago I found a pan of rotting food in one of the boxes tht had been sitting like that for two years when N Relative moved into this building. I cleaned under and behind the boxes and then I restacked them up in a much more tidy way. I wiped the surface of stuff down with a damp paper towel. Earlier I cooked some potato and boiled some eggs. I said I am going to put the food away soon if you want some go ahead before I stick it away. They said they would have some.... now they are just lingering around the kitchen but not eating so I can't go in there at the moment... I have decided to type and look out the window... it's only food getting cold it's not worth another argument. I will stay away from their proximity.
But here is the thing after cleaning I said "I took a benedryl don't be surprised if I fall asleep" ... I was just making a statement. They said they were going over to a neighbor's house to watch football earlier. Anyhow when I said I was going to take benedryl... they launched into talking about their health problems something they do all the time. Today right when I had told them I had taken a benedryl for my allergies they started saying they might take a pill for their back pain ALL OF A SUDDEN. They said nothing about it earlier. So even me stating that I am having allergy problems they have to somehow route everything back to themselves. Well they are just milling about right now as I don't look at them. They are not in any apparent pain all of a sudden like they seemed to be complaining about. Anyhow I eventually just reiterated what I said when they started complaining about their back. I just reiterated "well I am having allergy health problems." AND TO THIS THEY RESPONDED TO ME BY SWEARING AT ME AND GETTING MAD AND MEAN. The relative said something like "well than F me" but it's hard for me to type out how they said it. You see I had been wondering over the past couple days if the N actually has a touch of Autism because of the strange behaviors they've got. But This mean self centered outburst just now really seals the deal for me that they are "N," and I should NOT FEEL BAD FOR THEM.