Recent Posts

21

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Predatory grooming

« Last post by Hopalong on August 22, 2025, 05:43:30 PM »

I respect the loyalty, really do.

I just narrated to a new friend (English) how I came to cope with a dear friend's vote (she's kind, active in social justice, etc) for a person who is, for me, a horror. It was an internal battle..."I love you already, so am I going to let this new information about you destroy our friendship?" I decided NO.

So that I get. I'm sorry for my hair-trigger projection about such folks. It's hard to contain. Q etc is so delusional and sad and tragic (and hypnotic, evidently). I admire your patience, truly.

I hope he'll remain good for you and vice versa. I don't think I could manage it.

hugs
Hops

22

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Predatory grooming

« Last post by lighter on August 22, 2025, 03:21:11 PM »

I asked this friend to explain his views, (so I could better understand where my normally sane, rational, tolerant longtime friend went.)

Everything he sends is from the Q, and Q adjacent sites.  Recently there's been a very dark turn.

Our 40 year friendship's been reduced to forwarding information back and forth, at this point.

Years ago, he referred us to the nutritional healthcare gal.  Really helpful.  He's a R who's open to nutritional and holistic healthcare..... that's who he used to be, all the time.  Open.

Before that, he introduced me to the term Narcissism, which brought me to this forum.

If I needed a kidney, he'd give me one, and through his Q delirium, which seems to be a fear driven state.....he remains gentle and hopeful I can, eventually, understand the terrifying world view he's entranced with.

Not a mysoginist, but there are Q narratives tickling parts of the man's brain, more about cabals and child predation.....selling baby parts, and vaccines creating turbo cancers.

He hopes I see the light.
I hope the same for him.
Under it the beliefs, we'll always be there for each other. 

Lighter

23

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Predatory grooming

« Last post by Hopalong on August 22, 2025, 02:41:27 PM »

Friends can't be actual friends, when they're lost down conspiracy rabbit holes.
Blunt questions (forgive please): Why do you not distance yourself? Do you feel an obligation to stay in the orbit of toxic or misogynistic or dishonest people?

Where does the feeling of must-be-connected with them (relatives or not) come from? You CAN survive without such impressions. Proving yourself immune fails because *nobody* is immune to toxicity. The exposures wear down your peace, imo.

hugs
Hops

24

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Adventures in renovations... again

« Last post by lighter on August 22, 2025, 10:29:58 AM »

Contractor didn't make it in yesterday.  He brought Robert today.....should move fast.  I already moved the step stones, moss, bench and Hostas, so they can roll right through.

I'm still struggling with paint or stain on pine beadboard.  Will make selection today and keep moving.

Lighter

25

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: The island

« Last post by lighter on August 22, 2025, 10:25:43 AM »

Looks like Erin missed the island, but East coast getting pounded.

26

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Adventures in renovations... again

« Last post by lighter on August 21, 2025, 10:54:17 AM »

Contractor having radioactive dye imaging this morning.  I'm cleaning up the job site.....everyone waited on my return.  Didn't pick up much.  Was a mess, and I realized....I trained them to expect I'll handle that, when really it's how I get so much done with a journey man.  It's economy of motion, for me....... maximizing dollars and time and getting on with the next thing.

But I've trained the contractor....the kids never consider joining in the projects, though the bf has, and likely will again, if asked.

Lots to mull over.  I'm glad you're enjoying the rain.  Everything is green and the moss sporaphites are thick and happy from our consistent downpours.

I can hear the bf belching, after a rich hunter's skillet breakfast of sausage, squash, bell peppers, jalapeno and onion.

I've made a pork roast for lunch.

::shaking head::.

Who would I be if I didn't make yummy trays of food and alcohol everything as it comes back out of the sick room?

I'm a little stumped....
and disappointed....
 in my lack of imagination with this. 
Could have shoved jerky and breakfast bars under the door, I guess. 

I suppose I think I'm cleverly being proactive, and keeping him in his room....not wondering to the kitchen,desperate for comfort food through his suffering.

Ya..... that's a relatively fair trade, imo. 

I'm glad we're having this chat.

How are you doing?

Lighter

27

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Predatory grooming

« Last post by lighter on August 21, 2025, 10:41:46 AM »

Hops, GAL is Guardian Ad Litem....an attorney in place to represent the minor child's interests in Court.

I'm simply accepting generational PD damage today.  That's a switch, bc it's normally something my Nervous System refuses to accept......at all.

That so many people, esp Court officers, assume the best.....boggles my mind.  Maybe it's better than assuming the worst?  Hard to say.

I think..... remaining curious,
to see what's really there,
is the better way of being in the world. Zero assumptions better. 

Mitigating harm.....as a normal way of being, means we accept harm is an ongoing reality.

Lately, a Qanon friend, of 40 years, is sending terrible stories about brutal crimes committed by undocumented and minority people.....drawings of terrible, secret, society crimes against children.....drawing connections to D politicians and famous folks, while ignoring anything to do with anything else, if you get my meaning.

It takes my breath away ...how willfully ignorant he's been.....continues to be about trafficking, child abuse and DV.  Wearing blinders, but for everything popping up on his news feed, validating his Qanon world view.

It's terrible for my Nervous System.  I imagine him driven into a constant state of fight or flight, ignoring the suffering around him while focusing on blood drinking, child skin wearing elites, ruling the world.

Well....that was a rant.

Two ongoing legal cases, in my world, have me looking over my shoulder, at past lessons..... it's distracting, but I'm back pulling legal documents, in my head, figuring out shortcuts, etc.

Mitigating harm.... that's the ticket.

Lighter

28

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Predatory grooming

« Last post by Hopalong on August 21, 2025, 10:08:21 AM »

This is dense of me, but is "GAL" an acronym here or just "gal" like the opposite of "fella"?

Oh so many bells ring at this, and with my Nmom's damage, I know how it can spiral down generations. What bothers me so deeply about abusers/groomers is perceiving a mind that simply feels entitled to TAKE. As though a child or victim is a bonbon.

Maddening, saddening.

hugs
Hops

29

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Adventures in renovations... again

« Last post by Hopalong on August 21, 2025, 09:59:37 AM »

Bravo, Lighter.

This insight, about over involvement in an employee's medical stuff, seems big. Sorry it's a hassle for you if it slows the project but good to hear you naming it. Setting a boundary around it.

I have a fall rain sluicing down and love watching the mulberry trees dance like amazons in the breeze.

hugs
Hops

30

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread

« Last post by Hopalong on August 21, 2025, 09:54:56 AM »

I like the idea of using elbows, especially in a booth or bar setting where "crowding" or "creeping" touches can sneak in.

Could almost move an elbow in a hail-fellow-well-met way, as it looks almost jolly. Meanwhile, it carries a point.

But you don't need me on self-defense. I'm just pissed at that guy. Yecchhhh.

hugs
Hops