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21
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2026
« Last post by Hopalong on June 17, 2026, 10:57:50 AM »
I get it.
It's so THAT time of year.
It's gotten so hot here I'm mourning spring
and worried about summer.

But all will be well...even if it's not.

hugs
Hops
22
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2026
« Last post by sKePTiKal on June 16, 2026, 10:57:09 AM »
Just super busy IRL right now Hops. Just work; inside outside upside down busy.
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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread
« Last post by Hopalong on June 16, 2026, 08:00:27 AM »
How are you doing, Lighter?

Hope summer is hitting in a good not scorching way....

hugs
Hops
24
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2026
« Last post by Hopalong on June 16, 2026, 07:59:12 AM »
Did computer creepiness chase you away, Amber?

Check in if you can!

hugs,
Hops
25
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again
« Last post by Hopalong on June 11, 2026, 01:34:35 PM »
I LOVED your expression: "pleasant putty."
OMG.

I am so happy whenever I see "poet" creep into friends' dialogue.

So, when I think of you, Hippy, I think....

CREATIVE
That takes care of and/or heals a LOT in life, imo.

hugs
Hops
26
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Food for thought
« Last post by Dirty Hippy on June 11, 2026, 12:07:34 AM »

"Who's opinions, voices, and judgments are we honoring...."

Good point Lighter
27
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again
« Last post by Dirty Hippy on June 11, 2026, 12:05:38 AM »

- I went to sort of a naturalist type lecture event thing.
- Didn't talk to anybody wasn't really much opportunity to.
- Didn't stay for afterwards cuz grungy city surroundings didn't wanna be there at night w/o car.

Oh well.

- Did something different
- Went to place haven't been before/expanded my little world.
- Learned something
- Was a lot of effort to get there it feels like

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Earlier today I pet a dog named oliver.  :)
28
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again
« Last post by Dirty Hippy on June 09, 2026, 03:52:06 PM »
5) I quit therapy for the time being. Therapy feels stagnant now. Some of the things I told the therapist I had challenges with the only thing she said was that people are greatly motivated by the subconscious or unconscious to protect themselves I guess. This makes sense but also I am not sure what I am supposed to do with that B) I don't have energy or intent to find a different therapist right now and I also say that because logistically I will probably run out of insurance before I can make use of it. Who knows maybe I should do therapy more maybe next week or whatever. Bleh.

6) I have kind of sort of been trying to socialize but what ends up happening is I sort of just chat with random people I run into and at it's best it's friendly information exchange. At it's worst I just realize I am on a different wavelength compared to some other people. I guess everybody is in their own lane doing their own thing.

---- I don't always have to adapt myself to other people. I can just be me and have my preferences and if I don't particularly like someone I don't have to become pleasant putty.

7) I miss my solo hobbies because they really gave me a sense of satisfaction of doing something thoughtfully and well.

Back to 6) --- lots and lots of events are transactional consumer things. Maybe I wrote this earlier but I was talking to someone about community and she had said "the local businesses open up for wine tasting" --- and I silently just think to myself this is just posh retail event is all not really the same thing as what I mean so oh well.
29
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again
« Last post by Dirty Hippy on June 09, 2026, 03:39:04 PM »

Friends have been flaky past 2-3 weekends. So I've been doing some stuff on my own but it's rather limited hyper-local.

1) Went to a couple very small music events and sat by myself totally different experience than A) going with a friend and B) having more money to spend. It's not that I feel like I want things. I feel obligated to be a paying customer even if some of the music events are free.

2) A) I have given up on one of the friends completely and removed her phone number out of my phone and if she wants to make the effort she can but I feel I have planned too much and I have known her for years and I think she wants to rot away at home laying in bed eating cookies getting fatter every weekend. It's okay some weekends but every weekend all summer meh. B) The other friend has a high responsibility job and I am giving her freedom to be under the weather and tired. If she wants to make future plans that is on her now.

3) I have sort of drawn a boundary with some of the older church ladies. I've been pleasant with them but I can't do the "senior" -- "subordinate" thing in my life anymore. I am just trying to find peers and friends not these weird dynamics where a person takes on an authority vibe or whatever. So one of the ladies who was nice but also invited me over to her home but also was doing the authority vibe thing for multiple reasons it's not convenient for me to visit her in her home but also I don't want to relate to someone on that level. It's a real dynamic. I'm needing chill carpe diem make the most of summer peers. -- I perhaps should make some kind of plan for myself this weekend to have some kind of experience by myself maybe.

4) The narcissistic bullshit continues ad nauseum per typical. Rot in hell stagnant carcass. No I am not a church lady persona and don't want to be.
30
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Food for thought
« Last post by Hopalong on June 08, 2026, 11:36:26 PM »
Aaack, I'm so sorry, Amber. I'm glad you're changing your number and share that cold-chill feeling. I always, always tell anybody (including charities) who calls unsolicited that I'm happy to receive info by mail but I do not share my info over the phone. Yikes. (And I do not tell anyone new or unknown my mailing address, either.)

But I'm definitely NOT ready for an Amber diet!

Stay safe, hang in there. I'm glad a new number is an option. I still have a live landline but recently have abandoned it to use my cell only. Only problem is I regularly lose my cell and panic until it's right there, under my pillow or whatever. NOT a satisfactory solution but so be it. I'm going to get one of those cell lanyards and wear the damn thing. (I reallllly dislike having a leash around my brain.)

Otherwise I might as well tattoo all my info on my forehead and invite strangers to Zoom.

hugs
Hops
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