Recent Posts

21

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: N.

« Last post by Meh on May 01, 2026, 05:12:55 PM »

Unrelated to anything kinda.

- So after the hassle of getting the social security card from relative -- I then get on a couple of busses and go to a staffing office so they can scan the card and birth certificate like they had said --- on the way there is someone on the back of the bus aggressively rapping about gonorrhea bitches and guns -- and I just don't look up I have a book and I'm already in core collapse probably - some other loud guy on the bus is commenting on the aggressive rapper to everything she says ---

I think "is the world filled with narcissists?"  "Am I hyper sensitized?" --- I don't look at them I can hear them.

Then I get off bus at staffing office with my SS card. The person at the front desk acts like they don't know what to do with my ID documents they had asked for. They say "I don't have access to that system" -- I say "does someone else have access to it?" (the system for them to take a copy of the ID info they need???)  --- I didn't really understood their response. They tried to ask me some questions about my availability for work and what type of work but they won't even take the ID they asked for... and I answered vaguely and told them I have an appointment to go to and I left.

This is the quality of my life right now. I just feel it's dumb and pointless.

Anyhow I am already moved on and refuse to get frustrated.

Yes at least I have located the card it will be useful I hope.

22

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again

« Last post by Hopalong on May 01, 2026, 02:29:55 PM »

I have lesbian friends. They know I'm straight and not one has ever made a move.

And one of them is the most loyal, trustworthy, reliable friend I've almost ever had.

Just look for people who seem to be good. Don't worry about who they sleep with.

hugs
Hops

23

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: N.

« Last post by lighter on May 01, 2026, 02:02:31 PM »

That interaction sounds really frustrating, Meh.  Like you're dealing with a child.

At least you have your SS card and don't have to stand in a long line or it, woo hoo!!!

Lighter

24

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again

« Last post by lighter on May 01, 2026, 01:59:02 PM »

Listen, Meh.

Really pay attention to what new friends tells you

Notice if they're interested in your stories.....dies it feel reciprocal?

If they're attracted to you, it's ok.  You can put boundaries in place, and see what happens hey do with them. Your NO is a serious boundary, and trying to change it tells a story....this person doesn't and likely never will honor you and your needs.

Just information, Meh.  Not a huge problem, or something you created. 

Just people being people, but this time.....
this time you're sitting in nonjudgmental awareness.  Seeing what's there.....
and, most importantly, you're discerning.

Let this be an excerise in what you're feeling, and prioritizing THAT.
::nod::.

In the meantime......enjoy the outdoors, the coffee, and what fellowship is there.  Accept what's real. 

Lighter

25

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: N.

« Last post by Meh on May 01, 2026, 01:58:43 PM »

Needed to get a copy of my social security card from the N right.

I had avoided this but I need it and they've still got a copy.

- Me: Hey do you know which box that card is in...
- Them: starts rummaging through recent junk mail pile of credit card offers

- Me: It's probably not in the draw with your junk mail, isn't it in a box?
- Them: My stomach hurts.
- Them: I'm busy I have stuff to do (they've been playing a computer game for decades for hours every day)

- Them: inspecting the back of a photograph
- Me: I'm just looking for the SS card
- Them: "I just make your life miserable don't I"
- Me no comment

- Them: CARD FOUND - they hold it up in their hand behind their body like they are playing keep away
- Me: I snatch it out of their hand and said "It's mine it's not yours"

- Me: no more talking
- Them: "So I'm not worth talking to now"

26

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: N.

« Last post by lighter on May 01, 2026, 01:51:20 PM »

Hi, Meh:

I'm looking at your situation with great distance....and not a ton of details about the mechanisms of your FOO's operating plan.

From here ....I think mental healthcare and physical health are all the top of the list, but then .... I'm just sharing my opinion of my understanding.....which is incomplete, admittedly.

Keep breathing, and be super kind to yourself, Meh.

Lighter

27

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Friendship Moments: good or bad

« Last post by lighter on May 01, 2026, 01:15:55 PM »

Happy birthday, ((Hopsy.))

I really enjoy your birder friend stories, Hops!!  Such fun to tramp through Hawaii jungles, making trails with machetes, recording birds!  Heaven....in nature.....good for the soul, IME.

Amber, why's Holly on strike?

What's B's surgery date?

Good'on'ya for getting the mudroom (almost) done.  Enjoy hanging the art.  My sister and I just hung a gallery wall of interesting pieces in the downstairs master bedroom.  SO good.  Love that kind of work!!!

Lighter

28

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: N.

« Last post by Meh on April 30, 2026, 11:42:40 PM »

Forgot what else I was going to say. Forgetting deserves a post too.

OH!!! yes I remember

the relative did drive me to therapy and I also knew I should probably do it anyways

but I had wanted to talk to the therapist about GAD and self-agency and like decision making issues and planning issues and my lack of friendships and "inner circle" people.

29

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: N.

« Last post by Meh on April 30, 2026, 11:34:01 PM »

Tonight I was really wondering if I should be doing therapy or just focusing on other stuff like financial stuff.

The monetary side of my life is bad it does feel like my GAD and everything else might be feeding into bad decisions.

I feel a bit confused.

I honestly feel like my lot in life is to just put all my energy into bad jobs until I die and do nothing else.

The therapy I know is not going to change the financial reality.

I've got zero debt so I guess that is something to feel good about? Or not I don't know.

- It shocks me that I spent so much of my lifetime being so stunted in life -- maintaining stuntedness whatever that means. Years of whatever it was social anxiety?

Maintaining stuntedness.

Does it have maintenance. Like avoidance.

What am I saying. Working only to be feeding the stunted version of self? Is that what I am saying who knows. I'm going to bed I guess.

30

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Friendship Moments: good or bad

« Last post by Meh on April 30, 2026, 11:29:49 PM »

Happy Birthday.