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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Friendship Moments: good or bad

« Last post by Hopalong on February 04, 2026, 02:23:05 PM »

I have friends who've had covid four or five times. "I don't know how, but somehow I got covid!" I think it's the same kind of thing. Knowing the facts about prevention and ignoring them. So for me, that's a helpful analogy.

If I choose to keep interacting with a volatile person, then I need to get a booster, and wear a mask in crowded indoor spaces. Neither choice hurts me one bit; nor anybody else. I think y'all are my booster, and thank you profoundly for it.

"I just don't know how, but somehow I got triggered by Poet!" ain't gonna fly.

Pup and I are going out for duo do's. While he's getting bathed and trimmed, I'll be doing the same around the corner. Oooo, faaaaancy!

hugs
Hops

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2025

« Last post by lighter on February 04, 2026, 12:51:17 PM »

Hops:  I find an organized person, to help sort, but mostly take things out of my arms, is be very helpful.  Especially those things with emotional charge.

Paperwork, particularly, used to have an emotional charge of an electric chair.  Thank goodness, not anymore.

Having a plan, for dealing with things....files, space, ability to access....is good to figure out ahead.  Typically, I don't know how much space I'll need, so it all has to be figured at the end.  Right now, I have more than one clothing basket full of papers for particular projects papets/samples etc.  Having one basket, for each, would be better.

Amber....food allergies/sensitivities impact my sinus, sometimes eyes, often skin.  I hope things resolve soon.

Lighter

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: The Lake House

« Last post by lighter on February 04, 2026, 12:30:23 PM »

Ok....I texted the lake handyman....
"If you're not hunting the property, I'll pay you the $150 for clearing driveway...seems fair."

He texted back "Hunting season is over."

Ummmm....I already knew that one.

Then he texts he'd like to continue hunting, feels the the $150 isn't a problem, and feels ok with the situation, if I don't mind him hunting the n the future.

I texted back, it's fine......I want a fair situation.....does he know if wood cutter is ok, since he's ghosting me?

Handyman says woodcutter "has no wood right now."  Do I want more woodcutter referrals?  I say yes .... haven't heard back with more names yet.

::texting him now::.

Got a new woodcutter number: )

Lighter

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2025

« Last post by sKePTiKal on February 04, 2026, 06:46:12 AM »

Just a tech observation: seems the board is easier to access in the early morning now.

Having some issues with my eyes; the optometrist panicked and went worst case scenario on me. Got me a 9 am with the surgeon the next day. Surgeon double checked and finally agreed with me, that the issue with pain (inflammation caused) in right eye was from sinus. Could be a lot of different things for the floater in the left eye - so back on predisone drops 6x a day for a week; then a recheck. He said he could try oral prednisone later, if the drops don't clear it.

The snow here has turned to slick ice. Impossible to walk on, so we're trying to melt what we can during this slight warm up. I've been hearing water in the gutters, so it is melting. I'll probably grab some ice melt when we go shopping this week.

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2025

« Last post by Hopalong on February 04, 2026, 05:08:00 AM »

The thing I'd be hiring her for is the paperwork/clutter purge. I don't have lots of things, per se, but enough paper to build a papier mache monument.

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Friendship Moments: good or bad

« Last post by Hopalong on February 03, 2026, 10:59:21 PM »

Thanks, Lighter. Little Me wants to scream and escape anything that even somewhat resembles narcissistic manipulation or flat-out bullying. But little me feels so often several beats behind. I want to get to the place where I respond adultly IN the moment, not two days later.

I feel okay now, comfortable in my distance, but not forgetting I had full-out anxiety reaction right here on the board.

Natch, I subsided into silence and feel I have nothing much more to say. So of course, I get a message from Poet listing a few woes (partner, news, weather, with a little moan about "will it ever be better" kind of thing). And then she says "I am taking everything you wrote about very seriously and just need time to think it through."

Well that sounds good. Problem (or solution?) is, I don't really want to deal with the latest any more. I am sure she's talked to her T about it. But my trust in her is still severely damaged so I don't look forward to whatever she wants to say about it. I put in huge effort to understand the dynamics, and she just doesn't. Que sera, sera.

I was just regaining my equilibrium and her message was...feh. So I sent her a cartoon heart since I really don't have much more to say.

Lastly, I'm glad to hear BIL is okay, and sorry his wife is coping with the same. What a horrible souvenir they brought home. Hopefully, specialists here can fix them both.

hugs
Hops

PS I had a lot of trouble posting today, gave up. It just would. not. load. ???

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2025

« Last post by Hopalong on February 03, 2026, 09:09:44 PM »

Thanks, Lighter.
I've got a lead on someone who might like to give it a go...and is a lot less expensive than the "professional organizers" who land at about $65/hr. Way out of reach.

Hugs
Hops

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2025

« Last post by lighter on February 02, 2026, 11:28:34 AM »

Hops:
Have you decided to hire help for decluttering?  Every time I do, I'm always happy I did.

It goes so fast....no time for all the discomfort and normal agonizing, IME.

Great swaths of progress make it a super win/win.

Lighter

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Friendship Moments: good or bad

« Last post by lighter on February 02, 2026, 11:24:18 AM »

Oh. ((Hops.)) There's maybe some brand new shame, over learning Poet lessons  in increments....till they finally get in....and that's ok.  The really difficult lessons, always go in and out of focus, for me.  It's, as you mentioned, a process of internalizing ...finally....and mostly, completely. Some debris, remains. Old pathways don't just disappear.

Then there's helping younger selves learn....internalize, and trust it too.  That's why it feels ok one minute, and goes all sloshy the next, IME.....and it's ok to notice.  Ok to validate, understand why they feel that way, and work together to resolve it....IME.

And is it always resistance.....when these difficult feelings sweep in?   Mostly, so say my T.  Resisting acceptance often root cause.

For me  ....giving up hope, completely, is missing from my DNA....feels like, sometimes.  But that's part of it....dialing in realistic expectations, for adult selves, but also every younger part.... there's no magic on/off switch.

I'm having trouble with the board.  Can't post, though I try, often.

I'm glad you feel better.  Glad you're feeling your boundaries, and feeling more solid inside them.

You asked about BIL's health.... he's recovered.  My sister got sick ....her fingers are peeling in sheets now....painful in hot water.  Turns out the cause is a version of hand/foot/mouth disease, sans the mouth. 

Lighter

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread

« Last post by sKePTiKal on January 31, 2026, 12:32:48 PM »

The deer you're seeing in town, are foodies - and they're likely pruning your neighbor's favorite evergreen shrubs. They must've gotten tired of the same old in their normal haunts. They make nests in the snow that insulate them from the cold. They'll be fine.

My poor friend has been on the hormonal rollercoaster since menopause. She's been seeing a naturopath, who tests regularly and corrects whatever is out of wack. So whatever was in her version of GLP just kicked it off balance again.