Recent Posts

21

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again

« Last post by Dirty Hippy on May 25, 2026, 05:57:58 PM »

AND

When I had my car I did a lot less planning for picnics and it was sublime peaceful solitude and commute almost nothing.

It's way more effort now.

So since it happens that I now have an abundance of picnic type stuff... I made pasta salad again today and cut up pickles and stuck them in a bag.. And cut up veggies... and saw I have a can of tuna in the closet... and fruit getting ripe. So I am doing it all over again to meet a different friend tomorrow. Nobody does this anymore. You would think I was prepping for a family reunion. But my friend just told me it's her birthday and she worked on her birthday so this will be sort of nice I hope. The weather is promising to be gray like Twilight movie of course. Gloomy. Shrug. There's always coffee. And then coffee = toilet stops. Sigh.

long time ago I did international travel and the amount of prep that goes into that feels almost on par with me packing a picnic. Oh well.

no art, no garden, so now just picnic packing as a hands on make something outlet I suppose

at least we are doing something that is the goal

the intense panic to have a summer in the pacific northwest

22

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again

« Last post by Dirty Hippy on May 25, 2026, 05:47:57 PM »

- I did meet my friend to go to a street market -- a museum -- a couple well known city parks I've never been to and some other stuff and then directed her to a honky tonk bar for live music. She seems to think I hang out in bars all the time. I'm like NO ... I am finding us affordable music because going to a real concert is something you would never agree to bwahahaha and I don't have the money now anyways.

We were both exhausted by the end of the day. We ate the picnic on the tailgate in a very pretty part of the city because parking. We found parking and that is better than finding a picnic table I suppose.

23

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again

« Last post by Dirty Hippy on May 25, 2026, 05:41:20 PM »

Hops, I tend to make things from scratch and frugally so I end up with messes because more bits.

IF you are having a kitchen disaster what if you gave yourself two weeks to clean the kitchen -- and ate only microwave burritos on paper plates for those two weeks lol. And yogurt and banana. I'm not sure what is going on there but you need some kind of strategy. Put a book on take or music. Pick one quarter of the kitchen or one counter top to clear and if there is just too much stuff for some reason... throw it away. Minimalism makes it cleaner and easier too. 

But also. I am in no position to give advice to anybody about anything.

24

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread

« Last post by Hopalong on May 25, 2026, 09:44:00 AM »

Loved how these airport stories were stressful and celebratory at the same time, Lighter. Thanks too for the people descriptions at the bar, loved the details to chew on. Good people profiles!

I liked The Four Agreements too. A little guru-ish (to which I'm allergic) but still good advice...

hugs
Hops

25

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again

« Last post by Hopalong on May 25, 2026, 09:35:27 AM »

Me too!
I just found Gold Bond Healing Hand Cream and really like it.

I've made such a catastrophic mess in my kitchen I am having to wash hands more than once an hour. Ugh. Add in Pup going backward with housetraining when there's chilly rain outside. Errrgghhh.

Hippy, I just realized that although I don't really understand the term well, I think your posts when you write about blankness or "write something here" might be META? So that means you're a philosopher. Sophisticated thinker.

hugs
Hops

26

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Predatory grooming

« Last post by Hopalong on May 25, 2026, 09:29:58 AM »

Ahh. Sorry I didn't follow who was who and what and such. Big lecture for nuttin'!

Glad cousin's doing okay and sorry about friend's child. I can imagine how any court stories could set you on edge, dear.

Maybe the most important thing here is your anxiety. Should you shield yourself a bit more from the blow by blows on court conflict stories? What would do that best for you?

I admit it was nice to ponder the stbx in the bathroom. OY!

hugs
Hops

27

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2026

« Last post by Hopalong on May 25, 2026, 09:24:33 AM »

As ever, what you're doing sounds like a lot of realistic and pragmatic coping. Such a thing to imagine. I've been fetal and feral lately. (House. Relationship struggles with a friend, very unexpected. Not Poet, either!)

I do wish you could bring your rubber band and monsters over here...I try to imagine what it's like to have a top-to-bottom clean house and imprisoned lover...Shades of Amber might be a very interesting flick! Snort.

Good on you for getting through a LOT lately. The inner tension is difficult, and so understandable. Now that you've done an emotional-endurance stretch, and still are with B's recovery....hope you'll plug in plenty of soothing white noise for YOU. Just a friendly background hum or vibration that tells you: you are safe and you are loved.

hugs
Hops

28

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread

« Last post by lighter on May 25, 2026, 02:04:00 AM »

We were heavy, so the plane sat and "burned off fuel" till my connecting flight became a fruitless mile sprint in Chicago.  I would have thrown up if I had a full stomach.

Having eventually bounced through a very yummy burger, I'm no longer feeling defeated.  I can make this 9pm standby flight, or not.  All will be well.

On the flight, I did make, I read The Four Agreements.  Very quick read....not at all what I was expecting, but provides back up perspective on my T's initial list:
Extend self compassion to self.
Replace all judgement with curiosity.
Embrace radical acceptance.
Release expectation.

I'm struck by the rule to be impeccable with words.....to others, self, and in the world.  It's very important, as explained.... it's a clear path. A known way to be..... to suffer less, though it's explained we create our own hell on earth, or heaven.  It's up to us to break the spells, stop the black magic, and escape the trance of laws we've been trained to believe, despite all evidence.

Trained to fear, ruminate, and stop resisting.  Trained to believe other people's opinions and mindless words.

I still have 5 copies on the shelf. Will use them as Christmas money delivery systems for the kids.  The rest is up to them.

The bartender is ready to be rid of me, and the same aged gal next to me.  We're both drinking 9oz pours of a questionable Chardonnay. 

The 50ish Eastern European waitress, with Shirley Temple Curls, and heavy accent, isn't alarming me with her habit of speaking near me, and to me anymore.  "Pickles are popular in her country ....she likes them.....good vitamins."
  Earlier, she needed our menus.....I thought she said mayo, which I was squeezing out at the time, while still sweating from the sprint.

The bartender is either high, looking for his bookie, or bf to arrive.  He bounces his ringed fingers on the stainless counter .....paces.....looks looks looks at the entrance.  Maybe he's just looking for business men with expense accounts. I can't know.

I can find a central spot to plug in my phone and watch my standby gate bounce around, while bundled in clean cotton shirts.  I didn't pack much, but I packed 2 of those.

The journey continues, and I'm happy about it.

Update:  I caught a 9pm standby flight, and competent Uber to an amazing old home with a carriage house Airbnb....so perfect.  They had me at deep, narrow clawfoot tub, with fireplace.  It's 1am and I'm going to bed.

Lighter

29

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread

« Last post by lighter on May 24, 2026, 07:13:47 PM »

We were heavy, so the plane sat and "burned off fuel" till my connecting flight became a fruitless mile sprint in Chicago.  I would have thrown up if I had a full stomach.

Having eventually bounced through a very yummy burger, I'm no longer feeling defeated.  I can make this 9pm standby flight, or not.  All will be well.

On the flight, I did make, I read The Four Agreements.  Very quick read....not at all what I was expecting, but provides back up perspective on my T's initial list:
Extend self compassion to self.
Replace all judgement with curiosity.
Embrace radical acceptance.
Release expectation.

I'm struck by the rule to be impeccable with words.....to others, self, and in the world.  It's very important, as explained.... it's a clear path. A known way to be..... to suffer less, though it's explained we create our own hell on earth, or heaven.  It's up to us to break the spells, stop the black magic, and escape the trance of laws we've been trained to believe, despite all evidence.

Trained to fear, ruminate, and stop resisting.  Trained to believe other people's opinions and mindless words.

I still have 5 copies on the shelf. Will use them as Christmas money delivery systems for the kids.  The rest is up to them.

The bartender is ready to be rid of me, and the same aged gal next to me.  We're both drinking 9oz pours of a questionable Chardonnay. 

The 50ish Eastern European waitress, with Shirley Temple Curls, and heavy accent, isn't alarming me with her habit of speaking near me, and to me anymore.  "Pickles are popular in her country ....she likes them.....good vitamins."
  Earlier, she needed our menus.....I thought she said mayo, which I was squeezing out at the time, while still sweating from the sprint.

The bartender is either high, looking for his bookie, or bf to arrive.  He bounces his ringed fingers on the stainless counter .....paces.....looks looks looks at the entrance.  Maybe he's just looking for business men with expense accounts. I can't know.

I can find a central spot to plug in my phone and watch my standby gate bounce around, while bundled in clean cotton shirts.  I didn't pack much, but I packed 2 of those.

The journey continues, and I'm happy about it.

Lighter

30

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again

« Last post by sKePTiKal on May 24, 2026, 08:29:51 AM »

I like Gold Bond for moisturizing my hands! It soaks in pretty quick and sticks around.