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21
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: facing the world
« Last post by Hopalong on April 11, 2026, 01:10:31 PM »
Yes, horror to spare. It's real work to require it to leave my body, but I do.

Counterintuitively, one source of recent comfort has been WWII stories. I think because that was an era when we did the right thing, at much sacrifice. Morality was clearer then, despite how the war ended. The Greatest Generation humbles me and stirs hope still.

Reality is still my friend when it comes to information, and I still respect wisdom and genuine expertise, including institutions where they thrive.

I don't think we can ever go "back" really, but many young people also give me hope. Not the poor vapid ones on social media, but those with clear positive plans and the energy to fight for them.

Just noticed how often I said "still" and maybe therein lies peace. Back to "The Peace of Wild Things" by Wendell Berry. It's been below my email signature for years. A subliminal reminder.

hugs
Hops
22
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2026
« Last post by Hopalong on April 11, 2026, 11:54:53 AM »
Thanks, (((((y'all)))))).

I felt a little foolish about all the hilarity I tried to wring from it. It's linoleum. But it was good that this got me a little more focused again on the BD. Big Declutter.

It's going to take a long long time, Lighter. Not just kitchen but throughout the house. It does help I have the nice young person who really needs the gig coming to work on it with me about once a week. Kitchen ain't complicated but my back is.

And brain. The sweet tax guy just called to let me know I'd brought all the wrong forms, so I have to excavate another layer or two to find the right ones. BLEAHHH.

hugs
Hops

PS - In a couple hours Pup's pal from over the mountain is coming for their playdate. I'm looking forward to it.
23
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: facing the world
« Last post by lighter on April 11, 2026, 09:02:13 AM »
Is one horrified, bc.....
    watching the news....
or.....
    horrified, bc of what's in the news?

I'm consistently shocked
 at people's justifications,
explanations,
sans discomfort,
 questions or
doubts......
and particularly mystified
at the lack of care/compassion/concern.

Stymied at what they claim is important, real and true.

Who would have children now?

Lighter



24
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2026
« Last post by lighter on April 11, 2026, 08:54:50 AM »
I'm so happy you're pleased with your new flooring, Hops!

So nice when details go one's way!

Is everything back in place, or are you doing a hard edit?

Lighter
25
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2026
« Last post by sKePTiKal on April 10, 2026, 07:05:15 AM »
I'm glad you're happy and that the surface is more suitable!
26
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2026
« Last post by Hopalong on April 09, 2026, 05:10:32 PM »
I like it even more than I expected to, partly because it's a bit more toned-down- looking in the larger space than on the sample. I'm shocked by how
easily the color flows to the natural cork in the extension. I didn't plan it that consciously...with color, my id's in charge.

Yay, Marmoleum! It's not as soft but given Pup wear, that's a good thing. It can be mopped like a regular floor without fear. And I bought new sandals today so my feet aren't mad at me....

hugs
Hops
27
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2026
« Last post by Hopalong on April 09, 2026, 03:28:49 PM »
Yes, that's just as exciting as the crazy new floor! Both cabinet and kitchen table will be purged before anything goes back in/on them. I'm eager to do it.

I'd already purged a lot in the last two moves, so the few sentimental things are sturdy dark-pink-glazed nesting mixing bowls from the 40's my mother used for her baking, my paternal grandmother's ancient waffle iron that still makes amazing waffles. Both of those "spark joy" and are charming to look at. Atop the cabinet I keep the sole childhood photo of her, which I do love seeing, in an interesting old-school easel frame with decorated glass around the edges. As the oldest (b. 1910) of a poor family of ten, she was the only child taken to a studio for a professional photo. She's one or two, standing on a chair in a lovely handmade little dress and looking at the photographer with sober curiosity. It's genuinely charming, no matter what overtook her psyche as she grew. I had it printed on her 90th bday invitation, and somebody even framed it and gave it back to us. It's that cute. No regrets.

Otherwise, kitchen presences include my ridiculously heavy "heffapot" I'm still proud of making. Elephant "foot" as the pot (with toenails), a trunk as the spout, a peanut handle on the lid. It's funny. Appliances clutter counters but hauling out the heavier ones ain't worth it (ow). Might rethink where to store a few. Crock pot's heavy as heck, but I have more bowls than I need, and a corner lazy Susan cabinet that could be a LOT better organized and edited. It's higgly piggly now.

I am too. Probably more higgly than piggly, which is good. General happies today.
Spent the day short on sleep but seeing friends. Bfast in a cafe in an old bank building, really nice/unusual setting. Afterward got myself a new pair of walking sandals, "Ecco." My gait's weird from the back so no more slides or clogs, dang it.

At this moment resting under a raffle quilt at a pal's house until the installers leave my house, then go sign tax forms, back across town to fetch Pup, then home at last.

hugs
Hops
28
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2026
« Last post by sKePTiKal on April 09, 2026, 11:08:21 AM »
Hops, maybe before putting everything back in the cabinet - look at what's on the table. When is the last time you actually used that thing?

I have a handmade red oak cupboard. I store loads of things... that I've been considering donating. I have a set of Christmas china that hasn't been used in a decade. It takes up half a shelf that I could use for tinctures and teas. I have kept a platter that matches my everyday dishes, but it's been a good few years since I've needed it. But when one does need a bigger plate... well, I might keep that. A side dish bowl... a pretty salad bowl... glasses for wine that I don't drink. Champagne flutes... that I do occasionally break out for mimosas. I can probably ditch half my winter/Christmas table linens. I do like the red/white gingham snowflakes...

I think I'd much prefer to only store things I actually DO use - like the deviled egg plate & tupperware.

I've been mentally sorting the corner cupboard with plastic storage containers too. Do I really need TWO crockpots??? A blender??? (I do have a 30 yr food processor that sees the light of day once in a while and a toaster.... but I am "alergic" to countertop appliances. Then there are the flours, sugars, rice, lentils, etc in jars on top of cupboards... which I THOUGHT I was going to use in baking. Nope.

Those can get composted. Somewhere. I'm not a religious composter. Now leaf mold is another story!
29
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2026
« Last post by lighter on April 08, 2026, 07:11:37 PM »
It'll b so nice to have the floor done, Hops!

I'm glad it feels exciting to get things done.  The cabinet sounds lovely, but cleaning it out sounds better!

Lighter 

30
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: N.
« Last post by lighter on April 08, 2026, 07:07:19 PM »
Meh.....masking/pretending to be something one isn't....burns energy.  Being ashamed takes energy, time, and creativity, IME.

My therapist asked me to drop ALL judgement.  I had no idea how integral it is to healing, but mostly it's about not turning on myself....not abandoning myself.

It's about seeing, what's really there, with clarity.

I hope you can relax.....let go, and speak your truth without editing yourself.

I hope your T is authentic, grounded and able to hear you, without ego.  There's no perfect anything, IME.

One strives to get the best from others, learns from bobbles/ mistakes, and corrects as they go.

  This T might not be everything you need them to be, but they might be enough for now.

If you're looking for possible goals, for a list..... can consider:
Learning to engage Parasympathetic Nervous System.

Expanding window of tolerance for discomfort.

Ability to calm anxiety when in public/groups.

About the N you're feeding ...... it's not your job to feed them.

Provide food, allow them to o eat what they'll eat, without feeling you have to control intake and amounts, bc you absolutely cannot, IME.

If they eat more or less.....and your worry doesn't change anything ....maybe putting the worry down is the exact right choice for you?

It's ok to make peace with things you can't change.

  In fact....
 it's healthy self-care ....
not selfishness, IME.

I'm looking forward to reading about your next T appt, Meh.  You did good.

Lighter






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