21
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again
« Last post by Dirty Hippy on June 20, 2026, 08:50:16 PM »I'm doing some weird psychological eating lately and I should write about it at some point.
News:
With over 100,000 posts and 2 million pageviews, the Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board has become a valuable resource for people learning about and dealing with narcissistic spouses/partners, boyfriends/girlfriends, parents, siblings, adult children, bosses, and co-workers--as well as other sources of "voicelessness."
Recent Posts
I'm doing some weird psychological eating lately and I should write about it at some point.
22
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again
« Last post by Dirty Hippy on June 20, 2026, 08:45:43 PM »I'm tired. I am going to eat some sugar because because indulgence is over-riding health mind.
I feel I want to say something about all that glop but I am not sure what.
The part in the book where the author Lindsay Gibson writes a tidbit about how it is hardwired into people that the group is safer is being alone stands out to me because this is just so the opposite of how I grew up etc. But also it conveys essentially that people have a deep brain-need to be around other people. Our nervous systems were set up to want to be in a group. It's natural for HEALTHY people to feel it's rewarding to be around other people PERIOD like there doesn't have to be a reason the being with BEING WITH part is important in itself.
Like today Ollie's owner was saying how he was not a snuggly dog but that he still always wanted to be with her.
Humans really are tribal packs they just are it's an evolutionary scientific fact.
I feel I want to say something about all that glop but I am not sure what.
The part in the book where the author Lindsay Gibson writes a tidbit about how it is hardwired into people that the group is safer is being alone stands out to me because this is just so the opposite of how I grew up etc. But also it conveys essentially that people have a deep brain-need to be around other people. Our nervous systems were set up to want to be in a group. It's natural for HEALTHY people to feel it's rewarding to be around other people PERIOD like there doesn't have to be a reason the being with BEING WITH part is important in itself.
Like today Ollie's owner was saying how he was not a snuggly dog but that he still always wanted to be with her.
Humans really are tribal packs they just are it's an evolutionary scientific fact.
23
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again
« Last post by Dirty Hippy on June 20, 2026, 08:19:21 PM »I'm tired. I am going to eat some sugar because because indulgence is over-riding health mind.
24
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again
« Last post by Dirty Hippy on June 20, 2026, 08:17:19 PM »Have seen this book years ago. It's nothing new but reading it again or maybe I never read this one.
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents
Had underlined a few words and lines and clearly part of the book also helps the reader see their own immature behavior and insecurity.
- living life from our own deeper nature instead of focusing on x
- their neglect was not about us it was about them
- efforts at communication never made things better
- the feeling of being alone in the world
- x pg 8
- x pg 9
- EIP don't notice their children's inner experience
- "I had no way of knowing that most people don't feel this way"
- primitive brain likes familiarity
- C of EIP might acquiesce to relationships they don't really want
- you can trust yourself to know when you're emotionally satisfied
- held a low place in the family pecking order
- he saw himself as someone who could be easily overlooked
- isn't it up to me to meet my own emotional needs
- her mother still complains that Natalie never loved her
- Children like Natalie often grow up as little adults... appearing to need practically nothing
- You have prehistoric reasons for not liking to be lonely. (human evolution) pg 23
- blame
- emotional freedom
- differentiated enough to build a life of their own
- rigid or impulsive
- they often over react
- they are subjective not objective
- how they are feeling is more important than what is actually happening
- they don't have enough awareness of other people's individuality
- egocentrism lacks joy and openness
- self preoccupied in an obsessed way
25
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again
« Last post by Dirty Hippy on June 20, 2026, 07:48:17 PM »- Well I did not get to sleep when I wanted to last night took two hours longer due to disruptions.
- So last night I was feeling gloomy about today.
- I woke up tired. I didn't hear the alarm go off but I got in shower and cut some apple and cheese and left.
- Got on the bus.
- So arrived at the park with the correct name.
- I arrived sort of at the right location but not near to the trailhead I was going to meet other people at.
Booooooo... see this is how it is riding the bus. In a car a person drives for two more minutes and finds the right spot.
- I ended up texting the person said "well I am 40 minutes behind you guys maybe I will see you on the way out.
- I never saw them.
Booooo
- They texted me an hour after I texted them and said blandly "sorry we missed you"
- I would probably do the same thing too maybe except for.... too tired to finish my thought there
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I walked by myself
I looked at the River and thought about Brad Pitt of all things
I saw red dragonflies
I saw a group of swallows flying circles around a willow tree
I saw a struggling bumble bee not sure what was wrong with it so I put it on a flower and it started eating
Decided to stick the bee on the ground and brought it 8 more berry blossoms set on the ground because what else is a bored human going to do
I saw a couple creepy guys
I talked to a couple looking at a fly-catcher bird
I saw two ski jets going down the river that is all I saw on the river
I saw a fish jump
Stared at an old yellow farmhouse across the river next to a lime green barn and though how different this little area is from the other parts of the city
I saw a pitbull try to attack a smaller dog
I sat down and read a book for a long long while
A dog named Olly came up to me so I patted him and he slobbered on me
I finally found the toilet and there were no maps
Well my list is getting dull
On my way out I went by the wrong location again and saw some people setting up an outdoors buffet style BBQ in the park - could it have been a whole Filipino family or something maybe.
Wooo I feel tired and I didn't walk that far.
At least I met pet a dog. Dog pets have become my new goal it seems doable at least.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Also while I was at the park my brain is scanning things that should be improved. Why do I do this maybe because I am old. I am thinking the maps are missing the one board they had there wasn't updated since 2025, there was garbage around and they really do need to cut down some of the blackberries because if they don't the river views will be totally obscured and if they have garbage cans in one area why not put them in the main area too. They have it near the dog park of course that makes sense. They actually have an industrial garbage can like one I have never seen before for the dogs.
And there is one particular part of the trail that feels extra sketchy and is really overgrown.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sleepy. Came back ate lunch. Heart feeling heavy due to environment.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I tried it out. Moral of the story is arrive early. But also at least I went.
26
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again
« Last post by Dirty Hippy on June 20, 2026, 07:25:59 PM »Thanks Hops.
27
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again
« Last post by Hopalong on June 20, 2026, 12:42:44 PM »Really like how you think, and test, and ponder and propose states of mind. Your stuff about outrage was extremely interesting, imo.
I also related a lot to your description/s of anxiety. I had "free-floating anxiety" for many years and just hated it. I know that wave of fear. It's way softer and rarer now, knock wood.
When fear becomes identity, ain't no possibility of good things happening. Or less.
I hope you do walk, keep on circulating with hoomins as you can. No need to criticize yourself for microsocial stuff.
I watched myself under a microscope for so long that I forgot to be present, or forgot how. An anxious body can sound like a pipe organ to the person living in it.
hugs
Hops
It's okay to be a citizen of your own world.
I also related a lot to your description/s of anxiety. I had "free-floating anxiety" for many years and just hated it. I know that wave of fear. It's way softer and rarer now, knock wood.
When fear becomes identity, ain't no possibility of good things happening. Or less.
I hope you do walk, keep on circulating with hoomins as you can. No need to criticize yourself for microsocial stuff.
I watched myself under a microscope for so long that I forgot to be present, or forgot how. An anxious body can sound like a pipe organ to the person living in it.
hugs
Hops
It's okay to be a citizen of your own world.
28
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again
« Last post by Dirty Hippy on June 19, 2026, 06:51:26 PM »"Standing on the bare ground,—my head bathed by the blithe air and uplifted into infinite space,—all mean egotism vanishes. I become a transparent eye-ball; I am nothing; I see all; the currents of the Universal Being circulate through me; I am part or particle of God." R.W.E.
29
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again
« Last post by Dirty Hippy on June 19, 2026, 03:50:47 PM »Plutchik's Wheel of Emotions—classifies Anticipation as one of the eight primary, basic emotions, right alongside joy, sadness, anger, and fear.
Ah I see it there on the wheel anticipation.
Hum -- frankly it seems smart to try to cultivate anticipation.
I am actively procrastinating too and then is the opposite of positive anticipation.
Anywho.
30
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again
« Last post by Dirty Hippy on June 19, 2026, 03:44:35 PM »Okay actually what I was saying above without having the right words is this:
-- TONIC STRESS
-- EMOTIONAL RELEASE
Different things
------------------------------------------------
Honestly I am really not sure how emotional I should or shouldn't be. It's so much effort to become unfrozen. Oh well.
Generally these days I usually only feel some kind of mild sadness in my chest OR mild excitement looking forward to something like the walk tomorrow - having plans energizes me and I like that feeling of momentum and feeling of just real motivation. Looking forward to something is the feeling of motivation doesn't that almost make motivation an emotion in itself. ---
-- TONIC STRESS
-- EMOTIONAL RELEASE
Different things
------------------------------------------------
Honestly I am really not sure how emotional I should or shouldn't be. It's so much effort to become unfrozen. Oh well.
Generally these days I usually only feel some kind of mild sadness in my chest OR mild excitement looking forward to something like the walk tomorrow - having plans energizes me and I like that feeling of momentum and feeling of just real motivation. Looking forward to something is the feeling of motivation doesn't that almost make motivation an emotion in itself. ---