What would you think about this comment?

[onlyrenitng1]

I have been out in the garage sorting stuff, My H asked if I wanted to go with him and our daughter, I said no.

I decided to look on his web site and he is reffering to some music he just received its kinda scary how he points out a story about a shooting the statement below.
Its about a true story. The wife of Andy Williams, Claudine ? She was in the alps and has an affair with the ski instructor, Kills him gets off as an accident.

H-wrote this:

how can ya shot somebody 6 times by accident?
Fri 11th 02, 05 | 14:49
 pierre
There is the song on these cds, Claudine about the minister of canada's in the 70's. wife who shot her ski instructor 6 times in colorado & the judge called it an acciedent it was gonna be on, some girls, but she file a lawsuit
Fri 11th  

Just got me spooked....onlyrenting

[bunny]

Here is the story of Claudine Longet:

----from imdb.com----

Shot lover, Olympic skier Vladimir "Spider" Sabitch, on 21 March 1976 at his Aspen, Colorado home after he had told her to move out, she and her 3 children 'cramping' his lifestyle. At the sensational trial that followed, Longet claimed the gun had discharged accidentally as Sabich was showing her how it worked. She was covicted of criminal negligence and sentenced to 30 days in jail, which she served following a vacation with her defense attorney, Ron Austin, whom she later married. In 1978, she signed a confidentiality agreement with Sabich's parents after they agreed to drop a $1.3 million civil suit against her.

----

You have good reason for concern because your husband is fantasizing about killing someone and getting away with it. BE VERY CAREFUL.

bunny

[onlyrenting1]

Thanks Bunny,

I feel like I want to go vomit.

sorry, I can't seem to respond. I will come back later.  

onlyrenting

[bludie]

Onlyrenting1,
Please take some time and jot down phone numbers to local abuse shelters. Without causing you more alarm it's just good to be prepared. Also, have a duffel bag packed and in the trunk of your car for you and your daughter. That way if you need to take off suddenly you're not without essentials. Also, please purchase a can of pepper spray or mace. Have it handy. Pay attention and trust your gut. Better safe than sorry. What a creep. I'm sorry but he really is.  

Best,

bludie

[onlyrenting1]

Part of what my H, does is listen to music from all over the world.
this set is the Rolling Stones, I remember the album years ago.
These CDs' are concerts from another country, so he will listen and talk about intresting aspects. It may be an intresting fact, but it's just one to many times for me to have him referance about killing.

His brother just e-mailed me but I couldn't bring my self to share how Im doing or what is going on with me.

We have a mutual famliy friend and I had given this friend his phone number, he was thanking me and is talking about his trip to NY and will be gone for the week so I didn't want him to worry. He asked how are things but I said nothing about me or the family. I'm feeling stund right now.

I will be making up my own pepper spay and do as you advise about the packing away for both my D and myself. I will be on guard. I will look up those shelters too. I will however call the police and kick him out before I attempt to leave on the streets with a child.

He is being extra nice right now and yesterday took my D to the movies.
She said he acted irritated and at times was not very nice.
I know he has a rod and 4 huge bolts in his back and sitting may have caused some aggravation. I will expect all of this to add to his already unstable condition.

onlyrenting

[Anonymous]

Well, onlyrenting1, you always have so much to consider with your situation. Try not to feel too alarmed. If possible just stay aware. His health being compromised may be an asset in this situation. Is he still taking a lot of pain meds?

Best,

bludie

[onlyrenting1]

Bludie,

He has gone some where with our D, don't know where. I imagine to the mall. So I took the time to get some stuff out to the car just incase.

He is on morpine and I don't know what else.  It gets tiresome to try and second guess what an unstable person would want to do to you. You think you know someone and find out they may not be the person you thought you knew. I will keep my guard up. I would think he could plead insanity if he tried something.

I have the e-mails, doctor reports, letters from him, we will see how far I get on Monday at the divorce work shop.
My hope is they will help me with the legal right to leave. he says he wants to leave us, I have a letter from my employer about job placement in Dallas.
Letters about moving there and the fact he is on meds that may be imparing his judgement for our well being and need for survival.

I don't know what the courts will say but I will throw it out there and see
what happens.

onlyrenting

[bludie]

Morphine is powerful stuff. I would think this contributes to your not knowing what to expect.

Have you broached the subject with him that you're planning on filing for divorce? If so, what has been his reponse? Sometimes it sounds as if he wants to leave and then not. Him leaving for his brother's is out of the picture for now, right?  How soon would your company want to move you? Would it be possible to move to Dallas, not tell him what you're up to with filing for divorce, and then work on it from there? I suppose not. Child custody is an issue.

I'm not sure I have all the facts, onlyrenting. Let us know.

Best,

bludie

[mum]

Onlyrenting, I know you have a million things to think about, but if he is driving, with your daughter in the car, on morphine.....you need to tell someone.  This doesn't sound safe and possibly an endangerment issue with your daughter.  This may help your case with custody and relocation.  Ask someone about it Monday and please tell someone at that workshop what is going on!
Bless you....sending you strength.

[onlyrenting1]

Bludie, and Mum, thanks for responding,

My H-and D are home from the movies. He's trying to confuse our D. She, for now is feeling he cares about her so I will let that alone.
She doesn't want to move and It could be his ploy to have her stay here in CA, with him and her friends.

No I have not brought up about Divorce. I wonder if it's a good Idea.


1. I'm not a Corp level employee so I dont qualify for a moving package.
I have our Corp. level Director  asking me when am I going so he can help with placement.

2.  His brother told him he's not going to help him run, without his family.
So, my-H is saying he is not going to move now. He is staying and will be paying next months rent. I told him I was giving my 30 day notice to the LLord, he said don't do that he was staying here.

3. I would like to leave not tell him where Im going, say Im moving to Vegas. Get his mind off of Dallas, throw him off. Or tell them both Im moving around the block get them both off guard.

Maybe she will relax and not hold on to the idea of leaving her friends so much. her dad would not be her ace in the hole to get what she Thinks she wants.

I have: a list of meds he is on, e-mails stating how he was going to be moving without us, letters from HR in Dallas awaiting my interview showing I have plans to be employed.

I told him I wanted to move to Dallas, He has made it clear he wants out of the marriage, I need to plan on making a living  on my own,
He says I just want my Way.
Made comment like for me to go ahead but our D was staying here.
This was Thursday. He is now reaching to be nice and Im not giving him to much to work with. I will make plans on Sunday, to take my D some where so he can't play his game with us. Now Im worried.

onlyrenting.

[mum]

Onlyrenting,
Please tell someone about all of this tomorrow.   Your ex has said he wants out of the marriage.  Go with that.  No teenager wants to move.  Friends are very important to them...but those in a healthy home will make more friends.  I know how you are torn, for the sake fo your daughter, believe me.

I had a dream last night, perhaps inspired by your tale, but I woke up thinking it was you.  There was a woman, it was not me, but I felt I was experiencing her pain/ or was in her body, knowing what was happening.  She was isolated in a small room with a man that was half beast. It was as if he had been bitten by a rabid dog and was becoming rabidly insane...he even looked wolf like at times.
She was afraid of him and he was threatening her.  She convinced him to open a window for them both to breath the air, or perhaps it was an airduct (like the ones people crawl through in the movies)... but she saw in this that she had an opportunity to escape.  They both got onto a small roof, (and this is so strange after reading your post, but they were in Las Vegas).  There was no way to get off of the roof but a perilous jump and she felt that if the man/beast let go of her she would fall and surely die, but if she didn't break free he would hurt or kill her. Then she saw a gardener below her.  He had earphones on, so he didn't notice her at first. She kept screaming at him, HELP ME.  I remember thinking: this is cool, usually in a dream I can't scream at all, but she is keeping at it and getting louder!!
The man/beast tried to hold on to her and put her back in the building but she just screamed louder and louder.  The gardener finally noticed and about 5 more people appeared.  When it became clear the gardener would help you, the man/beast tried to attack the gardener by jumping onto him and a huge fight ensued with several other people joining in.  The woman was not in the melee, but watching it, trying to catch her breath.  They got the beast and held him tight and took him away.  He was not dead, but he was controlled.
I was there again, in my own form, and I hugged the woman who sobbed with relief.  She kept saying, "I did it".

Ok, dream analyzer I am not.  I just liked that happy ending, and thought you might too.
Bless you!

[Anonymous]

onlyrenting,

Your husband does NOT want out of the marriage. He wants everything to stay exactly the same, with you and his daughter to abuse and control. I don't think he can conceive of a life without you around. He is totally dependent on you for his emotional survival. Without you, he will feel like he has nothing to live for.

I consider him dangerous. I would NOT mention divorce to him. I would phone a woman's helpline or shelter (Phone #'s are at the beginning of phone books) to get advice on how to leave safely. You're doing a lot of preparation (good work), but I'd also seek advice from some social services for domestic violence. They've seen a thousand similar situations.

bunny

[onlyrenting1]

Mum, WOW,  Below she has no Idea about any writings I simply said what do you think about this dream, this is what she wrote

This is how my 12yr old sees this dream from her perspective.

The woman traped is obviously you and the beast is someone who you are either in a realtionship with or live with . the gardner is someone who was before not able to see what was going on but now is able to help you and all the other pepole are pepole who where you may not see it but they care about you and how it was that the beast was half man half beast it is someone who at times could be the person and other times be a jerk pretty much dr. jackel and mr.hide you just have to relize that pepole care about you and you need to get away from the beast.

onlyrenting

[Anonymous]

Hi Onlyrenting:

Bunny has made important points.  Even if she is incorrect and there is no danger, what will it hurt to call the nearest shelter and get whatever info they may have to offer?

Knowledge is power.  

GFN

[mum]

Onlyrenting.  Please don't be afraid.  Look fear in the eyes and stare it down.  You said tomorrow you are going to a divorce workshop.  Don't leave there without expressing your needs to someone.  Someone there will be a good resource for you.  Don't stop "screaming help".  Get some.  Good luck.