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51
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2025
« Last post by lighter on November 14, 2025, 11:09:23 AM »
Amber, snowball fights, baking and the joy of selecting new holiday menus! 

To play again! 
Undistracted.....
immersed....
fully present. 
Yes.

My sister uses Biotrue eye drops.....a pack of 2 from Amazon, for her dry eye dx.  I just had little leather pouches made, for us all.... sister's in red, with little phone, eyedrop and chapstick pockets.....hoping it solves her trail-of-small-things falling out her bra, esp in the yard.

Yikes.....the exhaust fan in upstairs bathroom, is sucking wind....just started making more normal powered noises, but clacking, still, a bit.  I cleaned it......while off, but it's not normal....might be, for a bit now it's heart started.  Another unfinished contractor job.

A friend shared her roast chicken recipe, years ago.....easy, but SO special.  Chicken, brined would be helpful,  fresh garlic and olive oil roasted over day old torn French bread croutons.....stacked along the pan's side, so each piece is soft, at the bottom. Chewy in the middle, and crunchy at the top.....bread, at the bottom....eats like dressing. Perfection!  Sometimes potatoes and thin long carrots.  More garlic....rough chopped.  More olive oil.....maybe some butter and bone broth, if too dry, at the end.....lots of sweet onions.  I'm making that for our small, early Thanksgiving dinner.  Everyone here enjoys my Grandma's stuffing, yams, squash casserole recip s....so, it's pretty traditional for us this year.

 I thought about Chinese too.  I bought coconut cream, honey pecan and pumpkin pies....more special than I can make.  It's been a while since we made Grandma's caramel recipe....or a toffee with dark chocolate with nuts recipe.  If it's your thing, everyone can wrap their favorite apples in dough, and decorate, for homemade apple dumplings.  I fill mine with a cinnamon sugar mix, and baste with cider.  I think it's a lovely ritual, I might bring back this year.  Happy fellowship...always turns out beautiful and yummy.

To playing, and healing. 

Yes.

Lighter





52
There's one day of work left.  One day. 
Deck skirting.
Hanging ceiling fan and 2 HEAVY mirrors.
Bring and install drawer in upstairs vanity.

I think I can install the mirrors....a little worried about plumbing and plumbing vent pipes.

The skirting......I could just remove entirely, and maybe feel better about it, entirely.

The drawer, though......I need that drawer.

If contractor doesn't come back......bc he's been sick and maybe feels unmothered, (all I can think of, plus a small embarrassing mistake installing GFI outlets....wires under, instead of over, at nice neighbor's, requiring an electrician be hired)bc of it.....I can trade back his wet vac, stud finder and mud/grout stuff for the drawer.....and we'd be square.  Also, I could pet the goats and pigs.

The Mexican family, at lake, are happily considering the install of wedding "arch" and what employment opportunities a venue present for them. Same for me. They care for an elderly mother, and the husband isn't working.....his son is special needs......it seems like the universe is lining me up for her....for me....but then, maybe not.  But maybe, lol.

Maybe.

 I'll stick with that.

I'm definitely not going to Island for Thanksgiving.  I'm heading to lake..... that's the priority.

As for any updates, to island guest cottage......I depend on my real handyman, who house is eeper is angry with.  The thing is......she fell down (fig.) with the he water heater problem.  Left me hanging.....and so did her brother "caretaker." IF they were on top of, things they complained about, that's one thing.  They're not.  My brother solved the water heater problem, bc he was headed to island anyway.

My real handyman was late answering my text and wasn't available.  I think word got around..... he's been blamed for water leak and won't be brought back to work at cottage.

Which leads me ......
to this.....
"Caretaker" has to rise, and do repairs with me.  Replace bathroom walls.....paint everything.  Caulk.  I have no idea how the cistern is doing in his house.  He has no hot water heater, which means he comes and goes at the cottage, still. A problem...... maintenance and checks of the seawall wooden bridge.....the roof.  Many problems.

Maybe a new roof, seawall install and guesthouse project in January/February. I can ride with brother.  He can carry in materials?  Maybe?  Some, at least.  I can order roofing from Nassau and avoid the taxes, shipping and whatever dealing with local government requires now.

Seawall ......same, but requires a permit. Permit?  I think, ya....permit.

Maybe build a little house on unclaim d property, to prevent Cecil from claiming my end of it?

There's issues ...as always. 

Lighter







I see the



53
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2025
« Last post by sKePTiKal on November 14, 2025, 08:27:16 AM »
Yeah, I'm really questioning the definition of "dry eyes" Hops; it sounds terribly subjective. Arbitrary even. Especially when the artificial tears (2nd brand even) make my eyes feel gritty and itchy. They water just fine at night! Nevertheless, I'd rather he retested/measured BEFORE the surgery, than after. The eye that has been improved just keeps getting better! Even at close distance. Today's test is going to be, mending a pair of leggings. They don't hold up to murder mittens making biscuits on my leg 3x a day! Pickles, the velcro cat, is gonna make me look for kevlar leggings.

It's interesting to notice, that as my right eye heals (almost there!) the left eye - even with glasses lens - starts to feel gross. Kinda achy; like eye strain too. There's still significant distortion between the two eyes - but the focal distance differential is about gone.

The best part; the part I haven't quite assimilated yet - is that this is permanent. My vision won't degrade every year. And while I'm not expecting perfection (though wouldn't that be great?) I can cope with whatever glasses I end up with pretty easily.

With all the things we've had going on this fall - I'm glad we don't have any major plans for Thanksgiving. I am looking for menu ideas for "other" ethnic foods. One year I made enchiladas. One year, mediterranean. None of us are fans of turkey. And ham ain't all that either. I do still have a giant brisket in the freezer that needs cut in at least half to fit on the grill; maybe 3rds. I don't know - taking suggestions from everyone here. Maybe I should look for something chinese?

Baking-wise, I'm thinking to cut back on the number of things I make. But making recipes that store well - so far, that's biscotti and lebkuchen. (sort of a gingerbread cookie) Pralines hit my brown sugar nerve well, but they don't keep long. And candies tie up the kitchen all day. I think I did get some fresh yeast... maybe rolls & breads.

I'm just looking forward to feet of snow; not going anywhere; eating whenever... and snowball fights.
54
 Bill did divorce his wife, Hops.











 
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Can't wait for updates, Amber.  Whatever you spend your unstructured time on....
let it be what draws you to it.
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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2025
« Last post by Hopalong on November 12, 2025, 06:42:31 PM »
All in all, it sounds SO good, Amber.

It must be a mildly born-again kind of experience for you to be seeing the way you're seeing now. I can imagine the joy of discovery, the return of clear focus. WOW.

Very joyful to read, and I hope the dry-eye delay will soon be resolved.
Dunk your head in a bucket of eyedrops and worry not!

hugs
Hops
57
Did Bill ever share why he didn't divorce this unstable wife?
Sad to spend years so poorly partnered (I spent 7 years that way, twice....)

hugs
Hops
58
This fall has been VERY busy with projects & med appts keeping us up and moving most of the weeks. The year before that was the studio remodel (we're not completely done; but very close - just little stuff). I want to be lazy & dreamy -- and explore other things -- this winter.

Hol is rebuilding her work space, this time in the loft in her garage. In her words: making it a space she WANTS to be and work in. And it's separate from the house, so it's breaks up her day, feels like "going to work". Like my studio.

I love my free, unstructured time.  <big grin>
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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2025
« Last post by lighter on November 12, 2025, 11:41:47 AM »
Try not to rub that eye, Amber.
Happy healing.
Lighter
60
Amber, reading your list of projects brings me comfort, and calm.....it feels like you're creating sacred spaces. Transformation.....of most kinds.....tickles my attention deficit brain.

Right now, I'm pausing.....looking around....noticing what's really here.  What will matter in 5, 10....15 years.  25 years.  Checking myself.... my priorities.....taking the temperature of my girls....the bf....making list, or.....poising to make lists.....the bf and youngest DD are asking for a list.

It feels like I'm leaning over a cliff's edge.....
but balanced. 
Not teetering, or endangered, or whipped and blinded by the wind....
but leaning into it....
over....above, what's below...with multiple possibilities.
A leap? 
Flight? 
Swan dive?
I don't know, but there's choice and choices....
 restored.
HUGE.

Maybe everything.
Small.
Large.
Expansive.
I get to choose, this time.

Lighter







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