Recent Posts

51

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: N.

« Last post by Dirty Hippy on May 02, 2026, 09:06:46 PM »

Yeah Skeptical

It's the places people hang out. Different places different types of behaviors.

I'm seeing more people obviously on drugs also. Flailing about like those wind-puppets in front of car dealers.

It's because I'm no longer in my safe bubble of my car and nice neighborhood. Oh well. I have to keep coping with it.

52

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: N.

« Last post by sKePTiKal on May 02, 2026, 08:41:35 AM »

I guess that behavior could be narcissism Meh. There seems to be an epidemic of people who feel entitled to force their inner dialogues and emotions and maladjusted behaviors on anyone around them. Inconsideration? Need for attention? I dunno. I call it "cheese sliding off their cracker" syndrome. I suggest carefully backing away quietly from all that! LOL. There is a reason I'm a hermit.

As for the reality of modern life in any agency or public-facing business... it's a wonder anything at all happens in a reasonable manner. Ham-handed, broad stroke AI phone bots that don't adjust to the often unique individual needs of a real human being (coz they ain't programmed to - just keep repeating representative or push zero to speak to a real human)... and people who don't know which end of a broom to use or how to sweep. It's an expectation for me at this point, that I'm going to encounter this kind of entropy or incompetence.

Maybe it will get better someday; but it doesn't give me warm fuzzies about the future of mankind.

53

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Friendship Moments: good or bad

« Last post by sKePTiKal on May 02, 2026, 08:25:18 AM »

Happy 39 Hops!!  hee hee

Hol is in the transition from having a committed relationship (no official permissions) with C - to realizing his pattern in the relationship is pretty set in stone - and toxic. She is intellectually exploring the possibility of being alone and still having a full and interesting life. A LOT of energy going into that pondering. She is ALMOST able to take back her power and decide to do what's best for her - relationship be damned. But she got some mowing done yesterday - as well as refining some earthmoving projects & filling potholes. There's still a few other outdoor jobs, but she might need me on the bobcat while she's in the backhoe. She is planting more garden this year and working on her landscaping situation.

B's surgery is May 22. We have to get some preliminary tests done next week for that. And he has a pump fill on Tuesday. Wave to him around noon today Hops, as he makes the long run up 81. He'll be here this afternoon sometime. There is this quiet thrill of excitement at the prospect of being able to hug him again... he's doing pretty good and we're settling comfortably into the shared experience with only a few awkward corners... sharp edges. But then we've been at this for years now - and started from the (mostly) friend zone with the recognition we both needed some assistance and the other had those skills. The affection has grown organically over time. We make each other laugh. Just being ourselves. That just rubs salt in Hol's wounds.

I'm making a decided effort on finishing my moving in purge. I STILL have piles of Michael accumulated stuff. I may not need to buy food saver bags or aluminum foil for the rest of my life!! Oh - and battery storage boxes. Some the batteries I cleaned out of the console were 10+ years old. Some corroded; some just dead. I understand why he wanted a stock of them but I no longer need that many. Some prep inventory, yes. But it shouldn't take up huge amounts of space, IMO. I shouldn't have to wonder where "that" is when I need it.

My eyes have mostly settled down now. I very seldon notice floaters anymore. Still some light sensitivity that brings them on. Sunglasses are my friend. But bright LED lights are also hard.

I think this B trip is going to be a little short; he has a VA appt in June - if they don't cancel it again. And I think he's close to finishing up in SC. Which would suit me fine. We could plan to do some more fun things.

54

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again

« Last post by Dirty Hippy on May 01, 2026, 07:17:36 PM »

Listen, Meh.

Really pay attention to what new friends tells you

Notice if they're interested in your stories.....dies it feel reciprocal?

If they're attracted to you, it's ok.  You can put boundaries in place, and see what happens hey do with them. Your NO is a serious boundary, and trying to change it tells a story....this person doesn't and likely never will honor you and your needs.

Just information, Meh.  Not a huge problem, or something you created. 

Just people being people, but this time.....
this time you're sitting in nonjudgmental awareness.  Seeing what's there.....
and, most importantly, you're discerning.

Let this be an excerise in what you're feeling, and prioritizing THAT.
::nod::.

In the meantime......enjoy the outdoors, the coffee, and what fellowship is there.  Accept what's real. 

Lighter

Right, yes just people being people.

Fellowship.

And enjoy the outdoors. Yes.

55

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again

« Last post by Dirty Hippy on May 01, 2026, 05:15:30 PM »

Okay I am reading your comments Lighter and Hops.

56

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: N.

« Last post by Dirty Hippy on May 01, 2026, 05:12:55 PM »

Unrelated to anything kinda.

- So after the hassle of getting the social security card from relative -- I then get on a couple of busses and go to a staffing office so they can scan the card and birth certificate like they had said --- on the way there is someone on the back of the bus aggressively rapping about gonorrhea bitches and guns -- and I just don't look up I have a book and I'm already in core collapse probably - some other loud guy on the bus is commenting on the aggressive rapper to everything she says ---

I think "is the world filled with narcissists?"  "Am I hyper sensitized?" --- I don't look at them I can hear them.

Then I get off bus at staffing office with my SS card. The person at the front desk acts like they don't know what to do with my ID documents they had asked for. They say "I don't have access to that system" -- I say "does someone else have access to it?" (the system for them to take a copy of the ID info they need???)  --- I didn't really understood their response. They tried to ask me some questions about my availability for work and what type of work but they won't even take the ID they asked for... and I answered vaguely and told them I have an appointment to go to and I left.

This is the quality of my life right now. I just feel it's dumb and pointless.

Anyhow I am already moved on and refuse to get frustrated.

Yes at least I have located the card it will be useful I hope.

57

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again

« Last post by Hopalong on May 01, 2026, 02:29:55 PM »

I have lesbian friends. They know I'm straight and not one has ever made a move.

And one of them is the most loyal, trustworthy, reliable friend I've almost ever had.

Just look for people who seem to be good. Don't worry about who they sleep with.

hugs
Hops

58

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: N.

« Last post by lighter on May 01, 2026, 02:02:31 PM »

That interaction sounds really frustrating, Meh.  Like you're dealing with a child.

At least you have your SS card and don't have to stand in a long line or it, woo hoo!!!

Lighter

59

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again

« Last post by lighter on May 01, 2026, 01:59:02 PM »

Listen, Meh.

Really pay attention to what new friends tells you

Notice if they're interested in your stories.....dies it feel reciprocal?

If they're attracted to you, it's ok.  You can put boundaries in place, and see what happens hey do with them. Your NO is a serious boundary, and trying to change it tells a story....this person doesn't and likely never will honor you and your needs.

Just information, Meh.  Not a huge problem, or something you created. 

Just people being people, but this time.....
this time you're sitting in nonjudgmental awareness.  Seeing what's there.....
and, most importantly, you're discerning.

Let this be an excerise in what you're feeling, and prioritizing THAT.
::nod::.

In the meantime......enjoy the outdoors, the coffee, and what fellowship is there.  Accept what's real. 

Lighter

60

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: N.

« Last post by Dirty Hippy on May 01, 2026, 01:58:43 PM »

Needed to get a copy of my social security card from the N right.

I had avoided this but I need it and they've still got a copy.

- Me: Hey do you know which box that card is in...
- Them: starts rummaging through recent junk mail pile of credit card offers

- Me: It's probably not in the draw with your junk mail, isn't it in a box?
- Them: My stomach hurts.
- Them: I'm busy I have stuff to do (they've been playing a computer game for decades for hours every day)

- Them: inspecting the back of a photograph
- Me: I'm just looking for the SS card
- Them: "I just make your life miserable don't I"
- Me no comment

- Them: CARD FOUND - they hold it up in their hand behind their body like they are playing keep away
- Me: I snatch it out of their hand and said "It's mine it's not yours"

- Me: no more talking
- Them: "So I'm not worth talking to now"