Recent Posts

51

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread

« Last post by lighter on January 18, 2026, 11:28:12 AM »

I stretch the toe, of every sock, before putting them on. 

I do like a relatively fitted, thin sock. 

Baggy ones.... move around....extra fabric crowds my foot, it seems. Thick, loose and baggy mean I can't wear them with shoes at all.

52

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: The Lake House

« Last post by lighter on January 18, 2026, 11:23:59 AM »

The bees eating supporting outer...band?  Which is 2 boards thick....can only see outer board, which can be replaced pretty easily....I think.  If the second board is damaged badly ......we got big, high off the ground trouble.

Interesting fact... It appears the bees began eating the wood after opaque brown wood stain was applied.  Regular wood sealer didn't appeal to them for 40 years?  And only the high high high corner of the deck, around the grill area.

My stepfather used to add......zinc? To paint.  Was that it?  Much research to do....little bastages.

53

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread

« Last post by sKePTiKal on January 18, 2026, 09:18:02 AM »

I don't remember. There are lots of US companies, but I'm most fond of a pair of hand-knitted ones that I got at a local art/craft coop. They are loose & baggy! Me & tight socks don't get along.

54

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: The Lake House

« Last post by sKePTiKal on January 18, 2026, 09:15:09 AM »

I fight carpenter bees too. Folksy wisdom sez that they only go after natural/stained wood. So if you PAINT the deck boards (or fascia trim, etc) instead they'll look elsewhere to drill holes. Deck boards are easy to replace; but unless the supports/beams are excessively damaged they should be fine.

My brain hasn't been able to focus on my deck re-do and I don't have any contractor lined up yet. Kinda wanting a couple of screened areas... and (sigh) that's more work, more lumber, more time to completion.

55

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: facing the world

« Last post by lighter on January 17, 2026, 07:15:13 PM »

To answer your question..... I guess my dad wasn't a large man before his stroke. I didn't see him standing, more than a few times, the last 20 years.  He shrank, due to zero activity......and always looking down at him made him appear smaller than maybe he was? 

Unclear, but it's obvious your father was a man to look up to....and that makes me glad. 
Safe, and sane, men aren't that common in my world.  How lucky you are to have that.

Lighter

56

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread

« Last post by lighter on January 17, 2026, 07:04:25 PM »

What company do you order from?

57

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: The Lake House

« Last post by lighter on January 17, 2026, 06:59:39 PM »

Big fire going in the living room fireplace.  Contractor left about 4:30pm....the time flew.....felt like 20 minutes only.

Roof leaking in one bedroom....found the problems. Roof vent needs replacing from outside.

Deck has carpenter bee problem....maybe unsafe.  Maybe need to replace outer base ards only.  Will see.

He wants to put in a retaining wall, with boulders from the property, to place wedding arch, tbd.

He can put in electric and plumbing for upstairs and downstairs washer dryer units.  Attic ladder needs repair or replaced.

Outbuilding needs gutter repairs.....water line repairs.....lots of things in that area, frankly.

That's the short list.

Expecting rain.....have to cover a bed and place bucket, just in case.

It's so blustery cold.

58

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread

« Last post by sKePTiKal on January 17, 2026, 06:39:52 PM »

Alpaca socks, Lighter!
You'll never buy anything else.

59

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: The Lake House

« Last post by sKePTiKal on January 17, 2026, 06:37:03 PM »

Ummm.... Lighter.... much as we appreciate those things, we don't live in castles.

(I know, I have the same problem!)

60

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: facing the world

« Last post by Hopalong on January 17, 2026, 04:50:01 PM »

I still think scotch tape is a miracle.
"Happiness is small pleasures." --Beaudelaire

Your dad had a little head? That's so interesting.
My dad was Casper Milquetoast, not a macho cell in his body.
But, the brain...respected by many.

I remember very snooty people my parents knew were at a
cocktail party in London and met J. Paul Getty. When asked
where they were from and they named this town, Getty said
enthusiastically, "Oh that's where [Hops' father] lives!" After
the snooty people got home they kept sucking up, but the
contrast was too obvious. Ick. I was proud of my folks for
their disinterest.

It was hilarious to me since my dad was always self-effacing
and we lived so modestly. [He got no money from wealthy
parents until after their deaths. Principled and not spoiled.]
I only understood many years later that him making maps
of the South China Sea had something to do with Getty oil.

Sigh. He was a dutiful man. No aggression or naked ambition,
but ... oil? Near Viet Nam? Made me sad to learn that but
didn't change my feelings about him. The safe, good parent.

hugs
Hops