Author Topic: What would you think about this comment?  (Read 80983 times)

longtire

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 564
What would you think about this comment?
« Reply #270 on: March 22, 2005, 12:32:13 PM »
OR, I'm so glad that things are working out well for you.  You are really in inspiration for me that we each create our own lives.  Positive thoughts and prayers for you and your daughter.
longtire

- The only thing that was ever really wrong with me was that I used to think there was something wrong with *me*.  :)

onlyrenting1

  • Guest
What would you think about this comment?
« Reply #271 on: March 22, 2005, 08:58:40 PM »
Mum, longtire and everyone

Thanks for your continued support.

I will get back on the board once things settle down a little.

Thank you all so much I'm glad I can inspire those around me.

Love you all .. got to go ...OR

Anonymous

  • Guest
What would you think about this comment?
« Reply #272 on: March 22, 2005, 10:53:42 PM »
Hi Onlyrenting:

Quote
I will get back on the board once things settle down a little.


Hopefully this just means that you are busy and things are hectic.

I'm keeping you in my prayers anyway.  You are definately travelling in that boat now.  My prayers are that the waters will be calm and the sun will shine for you girl!  You are a real inspiration!! :D  :D

GFN

Anonymous

  • Guest
What would you think about this comment?
« Reply #273 on: March 23, 2005, 04:14:46 AM »
Post when you can.  Patz

onlyrenting1

  • Guest
What would you think about this comment?
« Reply #274 on: March 23, 2005, 10:59:30 PM »
Hi everyone,

I have been busy with getting settled still.

My D went to a church youth group, and has  more new friends with plans to do some fun things.

We will be spending time with my BIL and the family this weekend.

My H has not made any contact for two days, this is a needed  relief.

The employee I have been training with, used to date a friend of mine.
they used to skydive back in the late 70s. I was looking for my pictures of her and came accross pictures of my H and I.

Im having mixed feelings of sadness, anger and working on getting used to the Idea of letting go of the 26 yrs of memories.

Its late got to go.  OR

Anonymous

  • Guest
What would you think about this comment?
« Reply #275 on: March 24, 2005, 09:18:17 AM »
Only:

So glad you things are going well with you and your D.  Also glad to see that you BIL is helping out.  This is a welcome relief in the event you need some back up.

I can relate about the memories.  Just lean into the sadness and let it flow.  This is something you just have to work through.  I also went through all the pictures.  That was then and now is now.  What was true when those pics were taken are no longer true.  I still have some of mine but I haven't looked at them in ages.

Glad the N has not contacted you.  Pretty soon he will be just a low level hum that you can tune out.  Patz

Onlyrenting1

  • Guest
What would you think about this comment?
« Reply #276 on: March 24, 2005, 09:30:30 PM »
Patz,

today the UPS left a message about a delivery, they will try again on Friday, my h doesn't have this address, hope its from a friend. With the internent anyone can find you, will find out Friday.

My D mentioned about how many divorced familys were  at her school
They were talking about if Parents should stay together or not, I held my breath about what her comment was.

The day I went to leave town,I picked her up from school before my H, would be there. I went to pick up the U-haul truck keys , while I ran
to get the keys, she took off running down the street toward home.
I chased her down in my car, made her get in.

She was upset and told me she didn't want to leave her friends, our dog and her Dad.  as I was driving back to the u-Haul, a guy I work with drove by,I flaged him down, he went with me to keep her from running away. (Another angel watching over me.)

she was upset said she would only stay 1 week, 2 hrs later she would stay only 2 weeks. the conversation was difficult for the travel because the past was too painful to discuss and the future was something not easy to talk about, when she wanted her friends and the old life.

we had to stay in the moment during the drive for the next 3 days. She could have picked up the phone and for awhile I thought she would run or make an escape, but she never tried or made any effort to push to contact her Dad.  

So as she tells me this story today she simply said:

 "Better to be divorced, the Parents aren't happy, they are upset with each other and take it out on the child".

I realized she knows the child suffers, and sees the unhappiness in her Parents.
I feel she is no longer mad at me like I knew she was on the trip up here.
She appeaars to be doing great and sees me less stressed.

I tell people my H is not able to travel because of his recent surgery, and is still in CA., for now thats the story for us both. The truth is too much to explian.

thanks for keeping in touch   OR

Anonymous

  • Guest
What would you think about this comment?
« Reply #277 on: March 24, 2005, 10:37:05 PM »
Thanks for keeping us posted OR.
Your daughter will get more and more comfortable as time goes by. Thank goodness for your angels. :wink:
We're all so proud of you.

mudpup

Anonymous

  • Guest
What would you think about this comment?
« Reply #278 on: March 25, 2005, 12:32:13 AM »
Oh Only!

I cried reading your post about your daughter trying to run away!  There you are....trying to escape a crazy situation...afraid that he might do something to harm you....and then....you have to chase your child....and keep her from running.....and she is mad at you on the trip....and all the stress and how hard all of that must have been for you dear Only!

All I can say is that you are a real inspiration to all who are tormented and who use their courage to flee bad situations.

I'm so glad things are better now for your D and that she is beginning to understand some things.

I admire your patience and your strength and your determination and I will continue to pray for you and her.

Your instincts are good Only.  If that package sets off little bells.....listen to them and get help with it.

((((((((((((Only)))))))))))))

GFN

Anonymous

  • Guest
What would you think about this comment?
« Reply #279 on: March 25, 2005, 09:46:30 AM »
Morning Only:

I am sorry your daughter had such a hard time.  Please do not fill guilty about this (easier said than done).  From her point view, her little universe consisted of school, home, mom, dad, friends and activities.  In the broader sense to take in adult issues in this little world is really very skewed.  The fact that she does not appear to be angry, may not be the case.  Processing the changes even for you is going to take time and for her as well.  

The best thing you can do at this point is to keep things as consistant and predictable as possible.  Children need predictable outcomes because their fund of knowledge does not allow for all the generalizations that are necessary for adult judgements.  She only knows that things have changed and is trying to intergate what she knows in the past and how that fits in the here and now.   It will be a day to day thing with the both of you.  

I found that if I viewed things as a stack of important papers to be dealt with.  Put the most important thing on top and work through it in descending order.  I reallize that problems are not worked through in a linear fashion and in fact many things occur at the same time.  I worked on the things I could control......my son school, his doctors, his services, getting into a church......some of the very things you are doing.  The other emotional issues would come in waves.  You just have to ride those waves and recognize when you see the "crest" of those coming in yourself and child.   Just watch her eating and sleeping patterns, whether is she passive aggressive about issues she was not ordinarily obstinate about, her grades in school  etc.  

Also know that you cannot do all the things you need to do and just put those things that are the most critical first.  Cut  yourself the necessary slack and don't beat yourself up.  Just know that every day is a day of progress from the N and Nness you and your daughter were caught up in.

We continue to hold you close in our prayers and thoughts.  Much love, Patz

OR

  • Guest
What would you think about this comment?
« Reply #280 on: March 26, 2005, 10:50:28 AM »
Hi to everyone,

I got my package, it was my phone, they sent me a new one, when I moved here the phone need to be upgraded.

today I got 4 emails from my H.

this is a good one for the comment section Patz stared on  another thread.

Claims the mini stroke he had affecting his face is MS. The MS affects the brain and he will be able to forget about why he should Divorce me, it's all under the bridge, he only has time for the serious stuff, like his health and being a part of our D's life.

one of the 4 emails he sent today tells me how I called him a jerk, he was going to tell my D how I felt about him.

I had sent him an e-mail last week pasting and copied the rude comments he made to me.

 so I re-sent it to him,  help remind him what he said  to me. it made comment how I was evil, a slut, having an affair with his brother. I told him I don't want to be married to him, he was a jerk.

I will let him re-read the 14 comments just because, he appears to have selective memories about only what I have said.

I met a girl at my new job,  who has MS and did mention how her face
was affected and checking with a spinal tap was needed.

I'm glad he is in CA, life is so much more peaceful

Have a great Easter to All. we will be spending it with my BIL and family.

OR

bunny

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 713
What would you think about this comment?
« Reply #281 on: March 26, 2005, 11:29:17 AM »
OR,

Your husband won't remember anything he said and even sending him back his own emails won't "help" his memory. He'll just say you wrote them yourself or some crap. His thinking is severely distorted. And that is kind of an understatement. you are so lucky to have escaped from this jerk!!!  :lol:

Have a wonderful Easter with your BIL's family!

bunny

longtire

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 564
What would you think about this comment?
« Reply #282 on: March 26, 2005, 12:39:11 PM »
OR, I think you should have posted this in the "Most N Comments" thread.  Congratulations on getting out.  Peace and Love.
longtire

- The only thing that was ever really wrong with me was that I used to think there was something wrong with *me*.  :)

Anonymous

  • Guest
What would you think about this comment?
« Reply #283 on: March 26, 2005, 01:00:14 PM »
Hi only,
Its good to hear all of the positive things you are experiencing, especially the peace.
Have you considered just blocking his e-mail? Or do you think his continued asinine comments might come in handy if and when you end up in court?
The way I dealt with it when I finally got sick of my Ns threats was to keep my old e-mail address, but filter it so only my contact list could get through, and then set up a new e-mail account for everything else. Worked great.

I have to agree with bunny. Showing them what they said is hopeless. They can rationalize anything. Of course it might have been therapeutic for you to throw it back in his face, if so go to it. :twisted:

Happy Easter to you and your daughter. :wink:  :D

mudpup

OR

  • Guest
What would you think about this comment?
« Reply #284 on: March 26, 2005, 05:10:11 PM »
Bunny, long, Mud,

Bunny, I know I shouldn't waste my time. You know how rude he has gotten to me in the past, I think if he got his own words back for him to read everday of his life, it would make me feel better.

for so long I would just let it go, try and not think about the crule things he would say. He counted on me to let it go, act like it never happened. bringing it back in his face to read over and over even if he tries to say they were my words,he knows they were his.

It may continuie the anger in him but at least this is the true him, not the lets forget about it then be nice to me setting me up for the next crule comment. It may be the only thing I ever send to him again. I will attach it to all my emails from now on. If only to say I'm not going to forget it.

Even if I don't I feel better saying I will.

Long, I did send that comment to the other thread.

Mud it did make me feel better to say all of the above.

He has never once said he was sorry of saying the terrible things to me or his brother. He thinks his brain cells would be better off damanged than to say sorry.

He makes me so glad I left.

Mudd, He just wrote me again I think I will read over again about changing my e-mail address take your advise.

Saying something how brain injury causes personality changes.
Again, no responsibility, now its the brain cell excuse for who knows how long. Is this a set-up for a legal excuse? hope it will back fire on him.

Talk later  OR

 (OR) Think this will be my new name for a while...
guess it means a life of  hell with an N, ( OR ) a life with Happy in it. ???