Recent Posts

61

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread

« Last post by Hopalong on March 05, 2026, 06:46:54 PM »

And GOOD FOR DD! And for her Mom.

I'm a little confused about what's happening as usual...is your current house now on the market? I was thinking you'd moved to the lake.

Pay attention, Hops!

hugs
Hops

62

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: I met DD24's bf's parents

« Last post by lighter on March 05, 2026, 12:48:54 PM »

Oldest DD's bf called his mom for her mother's banana bread recipe,. This, after discovering perfectly ripe bananas in as in the fridge....he was cleaning it out, yay.

It was a really nice hour in the kitchen, with him, and youngest DD. I've never had banana bread with such a chewy thick crust of caramelized yumminess.  The bf was dubious about replacing Wesson oil with avocado oil....said we "couldn't tell his mom," made the substitution, and continued following the recipe, as though it was a magic spell.

There's things one can mess with, and things one can't.

After pan selection angst, and the unhappy face bf's father had attempted pan substitutions, without success, everything turned out beautifully.

63

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Yard

« Last post by lighter on March 05, 2026, 12:36:30 PM »

Preen down. Fertilizer almost completed. Most of the weeds gone.
Some pathway flagstones installed.  Whoo boy, carrying 50# bags of sand had me huffing and puffing..... but have huge gratitude I can do it.

 About to load up assorted leftover building supplies, mirrors and old wood.  Will feel good to make another run to the dump, and have things turned around the house, finally.

The porch skirt is finished. Need the touch up some exterior paint ...maybe get the pressure washer going. Gutters could use some attention.

Walking meditation.

Lighter

64

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread

« Last post by lighter on March 05, 2026, 10:20:51 AM »

So....house next door sold.  I hope a lovely family moves in, and enjoys the safety of the cul de sac, private back yard, and numerous loud young children, on every side, as playmates.

So.
Loud.

When did I lose all patience for the screaming tantrums?  Not sure, but it's gone. Poof.

Even screams of joy upset my Nervous System. Will be glad for the peace of the lake.

About the neighbors.....all I have are waves, and nods, for them. 

I hope the white squirrels are ok ... haven't seen any this visit.....the area is heavily hunted by two cats, and hawks.

I'm less reactive around the N..... it's very important to me, and my peace.

Yesterday afternoon, a pro-life young man knocked on our front door.  Youngest DD answered, and abruptly swung the door shut. He was 2 seconds into his"Susan B. Anthony" spiel.  DD didn't waste another second of her time, which struck us as very funny.  It comforts me, to witness, my girls sidestepping the comfort of men, as cultural priority. 

I found 2 bee zar door hangers, on the front door knob this morning.  The guy gets points for trying.

Lighter

65

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2025

« Last post by lighter on March 05, 2026, 09:32:52 AM »

Hops, I can't wait to hear about decluttering journey.  Typically, for me, help equals getting lots done, quickly, with much relief and gratitude.

It's been warm here.....cool mornings, but sunny glorious bug free days, working in the yard some. Nice to see the buds and early blooms, Meh.  I appreciate them too.

Amber... what's your favorite things about the mud room?  How much left the do? My dad always planned mudrooms with utility sink, toilet and laundry.  The lake house laundry/garage entrance/mudroom area is up in air, still.  Not sure what to do with it.

Lighter

66

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2025

« Last post by sKePTiKal on March 05, 2026, 09:14:11 AM »

We're socked in with insulating fog this morning. It's warming up! It's wet! The daffs are starting to pop up.

We had a smattering of snow & ice Monday; not enough to stop us piddling at the projects going on. I still haven't made time for studio sewing yet. Slowly but surely working on the "mudroom" downstairs. B has finished work on Helga - for now. He's moved on to splitting wood to fill up the racks again for next winter or chilly spring nights.

He's still here. LOL. He wants to be here. We're all cozy, having some silly fun, and just enjoying each other. He is definitely feeling better and is more mobile since the woodsplitter incident that stopped the muscle spasms, for the most part. Looking at replacing his pain pump since the manufacturer is out of business and there is no support; that process is started and we're waiting to hear on gov insurance approval before surgery is scheduled.

Kitties are spending more time outside; Lucy caught her first mouse and someone dissected & ate a bird on the porch this morning. No evidence left except feather on the front door mat.

Not really fussed about what's going on outside of this place. But I am hoping very much, that Iranian women claim freedom from oppression for themselves, with both hands. The regime was almost as bad as the Taliban, where women are concerned.

We're about due for another Mom-Hol confab... but she has a busy day today (relatively speaking; she's been cocooned with C this week so far; successfully.)

That's all the news that is news from here. Hopefully, this will post this time.

67

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again

« Last post by Hopalong on March 04, 2026, 01:01:44 PM »

I fell asleep with my laptop on and woke hours later to find myself halfway through Dances With Wolves.

No rhyme or reason why I share that, except it felt good to ponder the prairie. The Big Awful going on in our country marches on, and a friend just sent me another friend's Substack article on why the "gospel of love" does not include agitating for Armageddon. Apparently there are military leaders now who are presenting "end times" to their troops as the goal of their missions. Scary stuff.

I've been writing some fairly dark poetry that shocks a few folks. I try to explain that whatever fear or tragedy is ailing me lifts out of my chest when I write about it, and then is safely ensconced on a page. I literally feel the shift when I'm done.

But I like absurdity, too. Sometimes a poem will pop up, take a look around and then run for the hills on its little paper legs.

Glad you're ensconced in the hills, Amber, and Meh, here's to us all finding our own safe retreats.

hugs,
Hops

68

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again

« Last post by sKePTiKal on March 04, 2026, 09:13:18 AM »

Not responding to interruptions while in a face to face conversation is something we practice a LOT around here. There are times - given how much land we have - that communication at a distance IS allowed. If B is out cutting down trees, I always look to see if he's OK or it's an SOS. During bad storms, we even resort to radios. One at Hol's in case our phones go out.

The communication isn't abused. People take care of themselves around here and we have regular face to face sessions for planning, schedules, catch-ups and just dream-casting ideas.

Slightly different situation, I know.

69

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again

« Last post by Hopalong on March 03, 2026, 06:53:37 PM »

I just thought it was amazing that whatever the demand (a human knock or an old-school device ringing for her attention), she was completely confident in noting her own preferences (not to be interrupted) and acting accordingly. I didn't know that was "allowed"!

We all get brainwashed in one way or another. It's just really cool when we begin to think our ways past external cues.

hugs
Hops

70

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again

« Last post by Meh on March 03, 2026, 02:29:29 PM »

I was visiting a writer friend in her apt in grad school once and she showed me something I'd never learned. Somebody knocked at her door and she didn't answer -- we were having a great conversation. Later, her phone rang and she ignored it.

What a gift.

hugs
Hops

Yeah anticipating other people's needs to a fault is a care-taker role.

I fall into the trap sometimes and then I get out of the trap and I see it.