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61
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread
« Last post by sKePTiKal on November 03, 2025, 08:27:17 AM »
Hops - maybe you have an unconscious memory from a past life? (just kidding)

Halloween didn't interest me much this year. Not even the pagan rites. That's probably due to how busy we've been (doing), the eye situation, the lift, and managing my own unpredictable feelings. (High maintenance right now.)

Glad you had trick or treaters, Hops. Lighter, your house sounds like fun!
62
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread
« Last post by Hopalong on November 02, 2025, 02:55:30 PM »
Jump-scares give me angina.

I'm one-a THOSE.

A chicken shit. Here's the BIG TRUTH:
When I was about 10, my parents had to take me out of the Disney movie "Darby O'Gill and the Little People" because I was absolootely TERRIFIED of the banshee. Her moaning wail. That sound.

So my brother would hide under my bed for weeks after and pitch a moan after I'd been asleep for a bit. He loved my terror.

And did I say there were lots of 6-7-8 year olds who were just laughing during that movie? I needed a children's loony bin. (It hasn't improved much, LOL.)

BOO!

hugs
Hops
63
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread
« Last post by lighter on November 01, 2025, 09:43:42 PM »
We had fun, Hops.  The haunted clown house was a smash success, again, AND the neighbors, with the fabulous cemetery set-up, came by.  We went to see them....they had a baby pool sized moon mounted over their house....SO Cool!  It had a backlit moon shower curtain stretched over..... can't tell you how amazing the stone look tomb stones, hooded ghoul and new faux stone/iron and chain fencing looked....candle lit lanterns everywhere, a bar and full sized candy bars, whoo hoo!  The husband, responsible for making everything, rode his Harley to our house, and we scared him many times!  He was impressed.  I really enjoyed people's faces as they contemplated sticking their hand in the cauldron of candy, as a shrieking clown face clacked it's sharp teeth at them.....such a dark cauldron..... I'd make a loud snarfing noise, by their head, when they stuck their hand in.....big fun!

My cousin's dh had a really scary costume, and the patience/timing to give the first BIG scare, at the entrance.  That set the tone.  Everyone of us, sat motionless, amid loud animatronics..... impossible to tell, which thing, was human or doll.....until we moved/jumped scared them.

A good time was had by all, and we went antiquing today.

I'm glad your avoidant prep wasn't necessary. 

Lighter



64
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Play Hookey
« Last post by lighter on November 01, 2025, 09:23:58 PM »
Meh, maybe, this job, is an opportunity to consider, and discern, how much work you're being paid for, and whether, going above and beyond.

Heck, it might be.....even if in ways you can't see in the moment. 

If not, maybe pull up, gain some emotional distance, and consider the entire field.....
 drop duties, not your own, or keep doing them?

Whatever comes, let it be a conscious choice of your making.

 Some of the frustration might drop away.

 Maybe, saying NO, will open floodgates of relief (you didn't know were there.)

In any case, I'm glad to read your post.....glad the board allowed me to post back, Meh.

Lighter



65
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2025
« Last post by lighter on November 01, 2025, 08:56:10 PM »
I don't know about Amber, Hops, but I'm relieved anesthesia turns off the cough reflex.  Lordy, I be was mentally wringing my hands once that thought was going on my brain.

Amber ....all will be well.  They do thes surgeries all the time.  Very common.  Very routine, yup yup yup.

Lighter
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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread
« Last post by Hopalong on November 01, 2025, 02:14:20 PM »
And I completely forgot about it, so was surprised when along with my grocery guy, three nice adolescents turned up out front...and I said, y'all are from Wegman's? (Doesn't say much for my orientation in time and space or especially calendar...but what the hell.)

Apologized profusely and they were so sweet about it. So all my avoidant preparations weren't really needed at all, nice to discover.

hugs and hope y'all had FUN!
Hops
67
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2025
« Last post by Hopalong on November 01, 2025, 02:11:10 PM »
You got through! I've had on and off trouble posting, too.
But all seems well now.

If anybody ever put me in charge of anything computer I'd take to stone and a chisel.

Anesthesia turns off the cough reflex, and in fact is a great nap for many.

I slept 12 hours last night. The no-sleep nights and a few AM anxiety attacks (from too much news consumption, I know I know) had really caught up with me. And for a couple weeks I had no walkers for Pup so, wow, his cabin fever was through the roof. That means he goes for trampoline sessions on my bed, me being the trampoline. OW. 14-15 pounds leaping on me is quite uncomfortable! His young fella turned up this week though, as did his sister, so he joined me in the huge sleep last night...until noon. Woke up finding that my lawn was mowed and I hadn't even heard it. Lawnmowers under the window.

I'm glad you're preparing your inside for the surgery and eager to hear about the simplicity of it afterward, which may amaze you.

I know a big part of this is having no control, Amber. Maybe it can become something surprisingly good. An exercise in trust, or submission to the good in people.

hugs,
Hops
68
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2025
« Last post by sKePTiKal on November 01, 2025, 10:58:28 AM »
Lighter, I think I'd used glue - then grout.

Sigh. Strange week; my first eye surgery is next Thursday. S'posedly, the lift is on it's way - and we still don't have the hole made in the deck yet. The company isn't good at communicating. Rain & wind, and places to be got in the way. B is being way overprotective. Part of me wants to let him, at least a bit. And part of me resists; I'll be able to do a lot of things myself. Going to review section 1 of the Tai Chi form, to boost my propriception some.

Hol and Doc, get that I'm doing all the conscious work about just chilling out about the surgery, while at the same time - other less conscious, instinctive parts of me are still freaking out. It shows up in dreams and a sneaky dread/worry that I'll do something silly like have a coughing fit during surgery. I'm catching up with housework and planning for a calm recovery week; second eye should be easier. B knows I'll resist him being "hovering" too. But I'm planning to be pretty sluggy the first day or two. No stairs.

Still having some issues with the board. Tried to post a reply to Meh the other day, that didn't go. And can't get the site loaded sometimes, in the earlier morning. Fingers crossed - this one goes.
69
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Play Hookey
« Last post by sKePTiKal on October 30, 2025, 11:43:24 AM »
Best thing about those kinds of jobs is you usually have plenty of time to think. Trying to have at one authentic person to person interaction with each customer. Sounds like you need a job with more variety or challenge. Your boss sounds like a good one. Maybe talk to her about future possibilities?
70
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Play Hookey
« Last post by Hopalong on October 29, 2025, 11:34:44 AM »
Really good to hear your voice, Meh!

I'm glad, so glad, you took a sick day and I think mental health is about taking care of yourself. Recognizing your deep fatigue and granting yourself an extra day of rest sounds sane and responsible to me.

Sorry the job is so unfulfilling, and I like the idea of passive endurance. Sometimes that's what gets us through.

You sound clear. Making choices. Accepting gravity.

I think the endurance it takes for many, many people to keep on going is something like learning to float. Floating on the surf of it. The surface. So a tedious, underpaid job doesn't suck you all the way under.

Maybe passive endurance is just a survival instinct. There's real dignity in it, is all I know.

hugs
Hops
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