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61
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2025
« Last post by Hopalong on October 09, 2025, 05:26:44 PM »
Will TOTALLY bear with you, (((((Amber)))))).

Board wouldn't load for me either, earlier today, but seems to have gotten over its hiccoughs.

I've driven friends for their cataract procedures several times, same for my mother in her 80s, and without exception they've all come out twinkly eyed and thrilled with their new sharper, clearer vision.

I get you ID rumbling about it, but of the senses, this has to be your sense that is most precious and most worthy of full-on protection. That's all you're doing. You're protecting your eyes and yourself from creeping problems that just go away when they're dealt with.

Good for you. You'll be admiring B's ear hairs in no time, girl.

hugs,
Hops
62
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2025
« Last post by sKePTiKal on October 08, 2025, 11:11:42 AM »
Board's not loading or posting replies for me, most of the time. Intermittently. FYI.
63
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2025
« Last post by sKePTiKal on October 08, 2025, 09:08:51 AM »
Well damn. Getting old SUCKS.

I went to a new eye doc yesterday because I've been having blurry vision. I've not had these glasses for a year yet. At that appt with that doc, I asked about the cataract situation he told me about the year before. He said "what cataracts?" and while initially these glasses sharpened my vision, it quickly deteriorated.

So I'm getting referred to a surgeon and will be having both eyes fixed sometime this winter. I have glasses ordered for a temporary "fix" until then. The new doc was pretty nice - but all business; thorough and at one point mentioned what I could see with his charts didn't make sense. (LOLOLOLOL welcome to my world.) When I asked just what the surgery entailed - what they do and how & why - he brought out a well illustrated book to explain and I could even see it with my eyes fully dilated. The cataract in one eye is "moderate" and the other worse than moderate. SIGH.

So old doc wouldn't have caught this before my eyes were so bad I couldn't drive myself there. Grrrrrrrrrr.

Because I had a heads up about this a couple years ago, it's not the fact that I have cataracts that bothers me. It's the idea of submitting my prized and valuable sensory inputs to an invasive procedure. To my instinct and lizard brain - this is an "attack" akin to what I survived a few lifetimes ago. And I react to fear by fighting... so I am going to HAVE to reveal this to the surgeon so he understands I might need more anasthesia (or a different kind) than normal and I might need to be restrained more than normal despite my wish to get this over with because the results are consistently good. I think I can get that across to him, but I'm still going to have to try to manage a part of myself that saved my life so long ago and that I have little consistent control over.

Hol will insist on driving and B will be with me. The lift is scheduled to be finished by then. And it'll be winter. I won't be going out that much anyway. Friend Deb had this done a couple years ago; couldn't drive for a month. So the timing is as good as it could be. I'm already scheduled for next year's exam with new doc.

And I'll have a pirate patch on either eye for a short time!  Arrrrgggghhh.

But I HAVE to be able to see to drive; know where my body is in space; and do all the things I normally do. Like cut B's hair & beard.

Y'all bear with me and my vapors, OK?
64
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Adventures in renovations... again
« Last post by Hopalong on October 07, 2025, 12:24:47 PM »
Your first para just posed half the questions I was going to ask Lighter, too.
I guess practicality and adaptability and accessibility are much more interesting subjects in the final quarter for all of us.

I too imagine Lighter as a very spry 60s, in a cape, flying from strenuous task to complicated task to endless task. You too, Amber, though your teeth might be a tad longer.

I serve as humble contrast to you both. Aerobic reading. Pooch cuddling. Slow puttering in my saggy Prius.

hugs
Hops
65
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Adventures in renovations... again
« Last post by sKePTiKal on October 07, 2025, 07:57:22 AM »
Not a bad way to support your Ds while giving them enough space to flex their independence, Lighter. What are your plans for you? Do you have enough of a network at the Lake to have dependable people to call on, as you age? Or do you have alternate plans?

For some reason, I have the idea you're 10 years younger than me (gonna be 70 next year). I know that's not an indication of health and ability (my friend who just turned 60 and my 'little bro" are both worse off than I am). But along the way, with the passing of years, one does have to accept that we don't bounce as easily and it takes longer to recover when we do owies to ourselves.

Maybe you haven't had time yet to ponder that. I'm sure not getting B to slow down much. In his case, moving and focusing on projects helps him ignore the pain better.
66
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread
« Last post by lighter on October 06, 2025, 08:11:06 PM »
The cousin lives 12 hours away, and will be here for a while.  Hopefully, her stbx will settle down.

My sister and I will likely drive cousin back home, for her first Divorce hearing.  It's good and right for women to have physical support when divorcing entitled, armed baby-man nutters, IME.  Esp a Christian man "doing the Lord's will" while insisting the Lord wants cousin punished.

That means cousin will have her sister, BIL and the two of us.  Will have to be super careful in the parking lot.  Maybe be sneaky with it.....use back door, if they'll let us.

:: remembering the stupid settlement conferences::.  The courts should punish the nutters for wasting the court's time, imo.  They're pathologically unable to agree to ANYTHING, so why waste that time and money?  It's nerve racking to face them....they have another ambush opportunity...... it's demoralizing to watch the court plod along, IME.

Lighter

67
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Adventures in renovations... again
« Last post by lighter on October 06, 2025, 07:59:13 PM »
Yup, Hops.  Both daughters staying in present home.  I'll move to the lake, and travel as necessary. 

The Cottage housekeeper asked me to take her 15yo rising 11th grade DD....maybe for 2 years.  She's US born.  Her US Auntie can't keep her longer......and neither can I.  I don't have anyone I can depend on, at the lake, when I'm gone.  I think I'm done raising children.

The water closet trim is caulked and ready for paint.  Porch electrical sorted and done.  Huge PITA, but now everything on their own switch.....new outlet in the ceiling.

Contractor also fixed the rocking clown in a cage.  It works, but the cord is about shot.  I ordered a new one, and will put little feet, on cage bottom, to preserve new cord.

Tomorrow we cut tile!  The final project will be done soon. 

I have pressure washing, window cleaning and quite a lot of touch up paint to finish, as well. 

The journey continues.

Lighter
68
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Adventures in renovations... again
« Last post by Hopalong on October 05, 2025, 10:57:20 AM »
Did I understand that DD23 is staying in your present house,
and you're going to move somewhere new?

hugs
Hops
69
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread
« Last post by Hopalong on October 05, 2025, 10:54:44 AM »
Two thots:

1) When boys are no longer raised with macho models, in the world or online...then girls won't grow up to be viewed as property, objects that a men can do with whatever they want...

2) bipolar? or just a violent, entitled man?

3) do these folks live near you, Lighter? Or are you at a safe/sane distance?

hugs
Hops
70
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Adventures in renovations... again
« Last post by lighter on October 05, 2025, 10:05:25 AM »
Trim is finished in water closet.  Need to caulk and paint it now.  We used an already stained stair tread remnant, as a shelf over the toilet/next to sink.....looks great.

The sound absorbing boxes (6) we're finished yesterday.  They'll go in the jazz shed.  Drapes need stitched at the top, then will be installed.  The sewing space was just put back in order, after water closet build.

Ready to make costumes and get on with planning cousin visit. We have use of neighbor's freshly painted house..... I'll be staging it for sale.  That's 4 extra bedrooms and 2 bathrooms for our company.  We'll have a house full this year.
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