Recent Posts

61

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2025

« Last post by Hopalong on February 03, 2026, 09:09:44 PM »

Thanks, Lighter.
I've got a lead on someone who might like to give it a go...and is a lot less expensive than the "professional organizers" who land at about $65/hr. Way out of reach.

Hugs
Hops

62

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2025

« Last post by lighter on February 02, 2026, 11:28:34 AM »

Hops:
Have you decided to hire help for decluttering?  Every time I do, I'm always happy I did.

It goes so fast....no time for all the discomfort and normal agonizing, IME.

Great swaths of progress make it a super win/win.

Lighter

63

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Friendship Moments: good or bad

« Last post by lighter on February 02, 2026, 11:24:18 AM »

Oh. ((Hops.)) There's maybe some brand new shame, over learning Poet lessons  in increments....till they finally get in....and that's ok.  The really difficult lessons, always go in and out of focus, for me.  It's, as you mentioned, a process of internalizing ...finally....and mostly, completely. Some debris, remains. Old pathways don't just disappear.

Then there's helping younger selves learn....internalize, and trust it too.  That's why it feels ok one minute, and goes all sloshy the next, IME.....and it's ok to notice.  Ok to validate, understand why they feel that way, and work together to resolve it....IME.

And is it always resistance.....when these difficult feelings sweep in?   Mostly, so say my T.  Resisting acceptance often root cause.

For me  ....giving up hope, completely, is missing from my DNA....feels like, sometimes.  But that's part of it....dialing in realistic expectations, for adult selves, but also every younger part.... there's no magic on/off switch.

I'm having trouble with the board.  Can't post, though I try, often.

I'm glad you feel better.  Glad you're feeling your boundaries, and feeling more solid inside them.

You asked about BIL's health.... he's recovered.  My sister got sick ....her fingers are peeling in sheets now....painful in hot water.  Turns out the cause is a version of hand/foot/mouth disease, sans the mouth. 

Lighter

64

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread

« Last post by sKePTiKal on January 31, 2026, 12:32:48 PM »

The deer you're seeing in town, are foodies - and they're likely pruning your neighbor's favorite evergreen shrubs. They must've gotten tired of the same old in their normal haunts. They make nests in the snow that insulate them from the cold. They'll be fine.

My poor friend has been on the hormonal rollercoaster since menopause. She's been seeing a naturopath, who tests regularly and corrects whatever is out of wack. So whatever was in her version of GLP just kicked it off balance again.

65

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread

« Last post by Hopalong on January 31, 2026, 09:19:15 AM »

Hormonal? Howzzat?

Six deer just came single file up my street, a bigger one--antlers--in the lead; I feel so badly for them. No food, no shelter....some freezing to death at night I'm sure. For me, it's sad.

Thanks to a frenzy of posting, esp. Amber's kindness, I'm mostly over my anxiety surge of yesterday. Physically and mentally wiped out but that will pass. Gotta find a way to stop Pup from barking me awake from his crate at 5am. I can let him sleep on my bed but then he wakes me at 5am by doing doggy CPR on me. Violently! LOL

So I made an appt with a sleep specialist and will probably have another overnight study.

66

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread

« Last post by sKePTiKal on January 31, 2026, 07:59:29 AM »

No she didn't have any cardiac side effects; all intestinal and hormonal.

67

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread

« Last post by Hopalong on January 30, 2026, 12:54:32 PM »

Lighter,
I'm imagining you in a PERFECT place to weather a winter lock-in. Naked trees, snow, ice everywhere including the lake....do you see any wildlife yet? I try not to think about it.

Hope cozy outguns cold, and that you and DD are realllllllly relaxing.

hugs,
Hops

68

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread

« Last post by Hopalong on January 30, 2026, 12:51:00 PM »

My doc's available but we made no extra appointments. I can always reach out for one though.

Do you mind sharing more about friend D's GLP-1 side effects?
Were any of them cardiac?

Gracias.

hugs
Hops

69

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Friendship Moments: good or bad

« Last post by Hopalong on January 30, 2026, 12:20:44 PM »

Ahhhh, thank you.

I don't know why I needed somebody to tell me to stop feeling shame, but I did, and you did. It helped instantly. Maybe it's because I was empathizing with y'all reading through my mud that you must've thought we'd already cleaned up.

I'm grateful.

Mega hugs,
Hops

70

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Friendship Moments: good or bad

« Last post by sKePTiKal on January 30, 2026, 10:44:07 AM »

Hopsy, you're still here. Whole. No worse for wear. "It's just a flesh wound." 

Yeah, I can hear how your brain is hijacking your feelings. This is not what your inner child went through; it just echoes that. You aren't making the same mistake over & over again, either. The people who are vampires have the power of a "glamour" - illusion - that makes them seem honest, caring and trustworthy. Only when they are stressed, do they reveal their true nature.

IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT you didn't pick up on this sooner. So stop putting that responsibility on yourself. Just stop it. You are in charge of you - and 10 slow deep breaths will calm down the panic enough, to go snuggle with pup, who will probably wash your face till you giggle.

It's true that in quiet, empty time-spaces... things that happen to us can be magnified simply because there just isn't anything else competing for attention. And it happens to all of us!!

Therefore, you are totally normal.    It's been awhile, but I have stayed in a Holiday Inn.