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61
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2025
« Last post by lighter on October 24, 2025, 04:11:55 AM »
So sorry you're on the struggle bus, Amber.  I remember a first bad doc experience.  Trouble driving, bc vision, but I wasn't made aware of mono vision pros and cons, particularly the cons.

The brain does adjust, and you'll do your homework, no doubt.

Will be ok.

Lighter
62
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2025
« Last post by sKePTiKal on October 23, 2025, 12:59:21 PM »
Yesterday was s'posed to be my first surgeon appt. I was still 15 mins from town when they called - saying he had an emergency and I could reschedule or meet with the technician instead. I didn't know any of this until I'd arrived at checkin. I don't answer the phone in the car, and i already don't see great!! My new glasses (temps) were ready for pickup and I had 5 minutes to get to the other appt. I need whatever improvement they offer.

The whole drive in was an anxiety tornado. I already don't see well. Ended up behind a truck that was spitting some oily substance onto my windshield. He drove mostly below 40 mph the whole way. Where the highway turns 4 land I was finally able to get around him. It NEVER takes me an hour to get to town, except yesterday. So I was already a grumpasaurus and flustered beyond belief, trying to juggle my stuff, the 10 pages of forms to fill out - and then signing the two I missed.   <rolling eyes>

I got passed to one tech, who ran me through a couple new to me, eye tests then she passed me to the real technician. Kay assists during surgery, and turns out she lives in my county. She put the worst of my unexpressed and expressed fears to rest. She heard me, when I said all this stuff was brand-new to me and not knowing what to expect was the worst. She did great explaining what goes on. Did some more typical eyechart tests - gathering info that the doc would need anyway and she DIDN'T dilate my eyes.

I told her thanks - big thanks - and that my day just got a whole lot better. I'm scheduled to see doc next week and firm up dates/times for surgeries. New glasses help me see a little better - but they're funky at the far reaches of my peripheral vision. They are helping with depth perception a bit.

First surgery is scheduled 1st week of November, and I can have the second on the Monday after, if I like. Not the wait of a couple months, as the first eye doc suggested. I would rather get it over with and then see what I can see, after I heal up. And if I still need glasses after the surgery, so be it. Kay gave me a few brochures on the different kinds of lenses they can insert. Trifocal, distance or close up, or a new UV lense that is customized with light exposure. I'll be able to decide after he goes through the pros & cons of the UV ones. The others i understand pretty well.

To drive, I need distance vision.
For all the sewing, art stuff - I need clear closeup vision.
In the intermediate zone, that's how i know where I am in space relative to everything around me - and also where my vehicle gauges are, etc. So I'm kinda leaving toward the the UV lenses, right now. I know it'll take some more appts after the surgery. But the sales brochures don't mention any negatives and there are always tradeoffs. I'm asking the doc about all of these.

I need to find out just how much astigmatism (if any) I have going on too.

I'll probably dig around online & see if people are sharing their experience with these lenses.
63
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: The island
« Last post by sKePTiKal on October 23, 2025, 12:23:24 PM »
I can't imagine staying there in summer either!
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As trash and recycling trucks pick up today....
I can feel clean sunny spaces open and smile at my soul.

SO.

GOOD.

The trailer's almost full.  It's time to stop gathering stones, and let them go.
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The basket weave marble tile floor just went in yesterday.  Contractor and I beaten up....feels like I've been rolling in Jujitsu class for a week.  Up and down stairs.  Hands hurt from cutting tile....so dry.  Feet have been cold and wet too long.  Carrying heavy things.....up.  Down.  Up.

So, today contractor giving his knees a break.....he was bleeding pretty badly yesterday.  So hard on his knees to lay tile.

He's working on the vanity, which I think he enjoys.

Will be done soon and he'll move on to driveway jobs and two house builds.

We're ready for a break, I can tell, but he'll always come when I need him.  I'll always call when I do.

Have to put black pencil trim in floor. Finish bullnose around shower niche and lay bottom row of wall tile THEN grout.

Vanity should be here in the morning, with granite top.....to paint vanity?  Or not to paint?  Maybe DD23 will learn how to paint on this job?

I feel pretty good on timeline.....guests arrive on 30th.

The neighbor's house, however, is a dusty cluster foch.  I intended to put guests there, over Halloween, but her contractor has ONE worker there, not every day, and is 3 weeks past his promises finished date, with no noticable attempt to finish till my d next month. 

I always called that neighbor the "nice neighbor" bc she really IS too nice.  Contractor weaponized her empathy with a lie about worker being ill.  New worker said the guy was fired for working too slow.

Oh well....will make it work....and have access to her 2 fridges, when needed.

Lighter

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 All through the recent renovations, I've been organizing closets and tools and holiday gear....... it's very......cleansing.   Very freeing.  And easy.....er.....ish.

Today contractor is retrofitting the dresser into a vanity, to fit the 66"wide black granite vanity top.  It came out of a hotel.  I pitched the fake wood vanity and bought a (too wide) kitchen cabinet height dresser.....will utilize end drawers and attempt to cut down center drawers to fit....... it's 6" too wide.

All this to say ..... I'm start and stuttering less reactive.  I recover more quickly.  I notice when I go down the rabbit holes....and choose to stay or go.

It's cool to SEE the changes.....dare I say healing process?

Ya, I think I do.

Lighter
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You sound really solid, (Hops.)

When the energetic charge dissipates.... we're healing, I guess.

I noticed the same while cleaning out my desk today.  Picture a huge carved Ponderosa sized, dark wood L shaped affair, but with bookshelves to the ceiling and antique postage, and antique ribbon holding things with tons of storage space, fur thems that hoard art supplies....add 6, very full, legal boxes, generations of family photos, books and assorted cutters, hole punches and hanging file holders, yet to be installed on backs of antiques, which create a wall of privacy .....and you have the picture.

No reactivity, at all, today.  Just organizing and pitching, repeat.

DD24 needs a place to study, and she'll have it.

The addition of the water closet actually created a more inviting space, if that's possible.  Cozied up the desk space....closer to hall and stairs.  No wasted space, where once there was a dumping ground for things to deal with.

I'm astonished.....eek.  Meant to post this on my thread.  Apologies, Hops.  I'd like an update, when you're ready.

Lighter
68
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: The island
« Last post by lighter on October 22, 2025, 12:26:18 PM »
I just sent the 30yo survey to the potential buyer, who enjoyed his island trip, but for the day without hot water.  I won't go into it, but feeeeel frustration.  Trust me.

The annual renters has changed her Jan-Feb dates to mid February thru March, bc her DD is having a January baby.  Exciting for them.  Also means my brother can stay longer at New Years.

I appreciate brother installed or fixed hot water heater.  No one tells me anything...secret squirrel/need to know basis, I guess. 

Housekeeper said he also brought a new microwave over.  Sweet, bc old one was rusting out.

I'm considering living there for April/Me at/June in order to renovate guest cottage.  I can continue to rent main cottage, but typically most rentals are in the hot arse hot months if summer. Gack. Would rather eat a bug.

69
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2025
« Last post by lighter on October 17, 2025, 03:59:33 PM »
Will be fine, Amber. 
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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2025
« Last post by sKePTiKal on October 16, 2025, 03:59:37 PM »
I wore contacts for about 20 years. Glasses don't bug me.
I already have funky depth perception - it's the blurriness and "soft edges" that are causing me issues with anything beyond my uncorrected easy seeing distance.

I've been seeing a lot of people talk about it and how amazing the results were - and still are, years later. Along with a lot of tips for preparing for and getting through the recovery phase.
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