Recent Posts

61

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again

« Last post by Meh on April 26, 2026, 06:30:20 PM »

Been going to a nearby church for a few weeks/months. Philosophically I'm an atheist. It's that it feels like churches sometimes have something to offer.

The minister's kid came and shook my hand this morning when people are all greeting each other and I was coming in a few minutes late still in the entryway and trying to avoid the whole handshake thing this morning.

It was pretty heartwarming how sweet his family is. Like a person can SEE how there is a positive aspect to their lives in cultivating a warm type of personality.

The upside is somewhat the community though lots of people have been going to that same church for years apparently that is what they do. (Sorry if any of this is not clear I've got five or six days of headaches in a row going on just going to squint and not edit)

I feel like an outsider sort of only that the people are quiet friendly. I'm used to the outsider feeling. I'm not judging it I am just sort of thinking about why a person sits as an outsider. 1) trained to but 2) a person has agency & are allowed to have a foot in the incircle and the outcircle.

There have been some political topics that come up in the sermons and I try not to dwell on it. It's a conservative church and that partially doesn't bother me as I think the progressive churches would also be politically annoying to me.

I went to church to find an hour of peace and some reflection that kind of thing AND TO BE SOCIAL AND JUST BE AROUND PEOPLE who are not in high conflict mode.

62

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: The Lake House

« Last post by Hopalong on April 26, 2026, 12:14:50 PM »

After these enticing descriptions I dunno if I wanna get married by the lake or buy a tractor.

The risk of either is vanishingly small (as in, nonexistent) but i have SO enjoyed all this vicarious digging and planting, y'all! Everything's already blooming and fruiting in my head.

happy hugs,
Hops

63

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: The Lake House

« Last post by Meh on April 25, 2026, 11:07:21 PM »

The driveway has a central planting area, where the drive goes around at the house.

We cleaned out lots of the dead things.  Will clear out more.  3 pink hydrangea will go near the overgrown azaleas.....but then.... I'd like to use the beautiful big terra cotta baseboard/assorted other til s, to lay out a meditation garden.  Trails to walk.

Any ideas, ladies?

Not really any ideas only that there's always beautiful gardening/design books at libraries. I've never had a use for them but maybe you do? Visual inspiration often helps I think for a target and it always ends up being uniquely your own anyhow in the end.

64

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Friendship Moments: good or bad

« Last post by Hopalong on April 25, 2026, 05:39:38 PM »

I see two fixable things?

RESCUING stepmother of the unwell son. Not your job; she can find resources herself. Intimacy with workers' lives and families produce this for you over and over.

SAYING "NO" kindly to father about bringing son. Or NO to either being on your property. Your job is safety for yourself and fam, not hers. He too can find help.

Would this all be easier if you just set boundaries now, instead of letting the old torment about men rise to eat at your peace again? If any male causes unsafe feelings, boundaries -- not fixing. IMn-HO, sorries.

Finding replacement workers has to be easier than going through this....

hugs
Hops

65

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Friendship Moments: good or bad

« Last post by Meh on April 25, 2026, 04:34:21 PM »

There's distance and avoidance.....my specialty, btw.

And then I remember how it felt to feel abandoned in my suffering...at the mercy of the systems, set up to allow, dismiss and excuse male interpersonal terrorists.....and how the culture allows and expects it.

It's not ok.

There should be consequences, creating sea change, in this crap patriarchy, bc it's obviously not succeeded.

I'm torn......
Not r my circus, not my clowns ....
but stepmom doesn't deserve to be cut off from "normal" people, bc her life is dominated by distress and deeply felt discomfort and ick......right?

The in between is the father and son.

The good man with the special needs son......who displays egregiously inappropriate behavior towards women ( and it's assumed children, given the chance.)

And the world's full of unsafe men...... can't throw a stone without hitting one, feels like.

Tolerance would have to change into zero tolerance.

Lighter

Sounds difficult, complicated and super gross!!  The special needs part doesn't erase their impact on the people around them. Yuck.

66

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Friendship Moments: good or bad

« Last post by Meh on April 25, 2026, 04:28:45 PM »

Not sure if I said this before.

Found this children's book called Cinderella with Dogs!! The book has a "fairy dog-mother."

I accidentally brought it with me today as I left to get out of apartment. Maybe I need to just clean out my bags of stuff.

Stuff stuff stuff

Anyhow it's a very cute book.

67

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: N.

« Last post by Meh on April 25, 2026, 04:24:02 PM »

I do weird dumb stuff when I am stressed and out of sorts. I rarely lose things.

This morning instead of making great use of my time I spent an hour maybe looking for a key that was on a cord. I kept looking in bags over and over again. The same bags. I shoved my hands in my back pockets of my jeans over and over again as if the key would magically appear. Eventually as I was grazing my right hand over my right side I realized the key was dangling from my back under my shirt. It was tangled up in my bra I am not sure how I managed this feat of organizational skills. After an hour of looking for it and with my messed up life and my type that I am I felt like I was on the verge of barfing not entirely there but I was getting that stressed mad at self queasy feeling.

The place I was going to chill out to journal is closing soon.

I guess I will figure something out. I've got like multiple notepads with notes on them shoved in my bag. What do I need these notes for I am not sure but they are there.

I feel stressed in general like being delayed an hour doing something dumb I feel so fed up in so many ways. I've had a headache for like 4 or 5 days in a row.

Oh well. In theory I am going to meet a new-friend to go for a walk this week in a town nearby so maybe that is something to look forward to if the weather holds out and I don't show up like a complete basket case. I wish I had started my day earlier.

68

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: N.

« Last post by Meh on April 25, 2026, 04:13:21 PM »

Thanks Lighter and Skeptical.

69

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Friendship Moments: good or bad

« Last post by sKePTiKal on April 25, 2026, 04:09:00 PM »

I think my chatty mood this morning, has earned me a new penpal. Someone on another forum is looking to relocate to my side of the state line. She's also an herbalist and forager. Gots the skills. She's been telling me her life story and I suspect it's been awhile since she had a female friend. Been married 50 years and happily so. She's 80, so her requirements for a new place to live are going to reflect that a bit. But I think it's doable for them.

It's been awhile since I've made a new friend too. So, maybe periodic reports of how it's going forthcoming.

70

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Friendship Moments: good or bad

« Last post by lighter on April 25, 2026, 10:29:14 AM »

There's distance and avoidance.....my specialty, btw.

And then I remember how it felt to feel abandoned in my suffering...at the mercy of the systems, set up to allow, dismiss and excuse male interpersonal terrorists.....and how the culture allows and expects it.

It's not ok.

There should be consequences, creating sea change, in this crap patriarchy, bc it's obviously not succeeded.

I'm torn......
Not r my circus, not my clowns ....
but stepmom doesn't deserve to be cut off from "normal" people, bc her life is dominated by distress and deeply felt discomfort and ick......right?

The in between is the father and son.

The good man with the special needs son......who displays egregiously inappropriate behavior towards women ( and it's assumed children, given the chance.)

And the world's full of unsafe men...... can't throw a stone without hitting one, feels like.

Tolerance would have to change into zero tolerance.

Lighter