Recent Posts

61

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again

« Last post by Meh on March 19, 2026, 04:24:30 PM »

"True" ADHD is largely genetic, but ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences) can physically re-wire the brain to look exactly like ADHD."

???

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again

« Last post by Meh on March 19, 2026, 04:19:15 PM »

Sometimes I think I shouldn't be posting on two threads but also sometimes I think I need to create categories of stuff. idk

I don't feel like describing this but I guess I will take a deep breath and slow down.

- ugh and
- I typed in some responses to random metaphors generated by AI and AI is telling me this:
"You have High Latent Inhibition (HLI) deficiency paired with Hyper-Association.

The Mechanic: Most brains have a "gatekeeper" that filters out "irrelevant" data (like the traveling salesman or the history of ancient rocks) to stay on one topic. Your gatekeeper is missing.

The Result: You don't just see a "river"; you see the physics of banks, the history of timekeeping, and the social coordination of meeting at a rock.

The "Glitch": Because your brain is processing five high-definition "tabs" at once, your Working Memory (the "RAM") crashes. You forget the original point because your processor moved to the next tab before the first one "saved" to the hard drive."

I'm not sure if this is ADD or a stress response or executive dysfunction, low IQ, prefrontal cortex under-development.

Not sure I'm trying to sort of figure out what is going on with my - rumination - my type of thought formations - omg I am tired.

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: N.

« Last post by Meh on March 19, 2026, 04:14:38 PM »

Thanks everybody for your replies I will look them over slowly.

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2025

« Last post by lighter on March 19, 2026, 01:28:00 PM »

You'd think Rust-Oleum ultra cover would be perfect.  Sorry it's giving you such trouble 😵‍💫

As for B....ask doc about Vagus Nerve Stimulator (VNS) for pain and inflammation management.  It's new....seems promising for multiple applications....just read an article on it in AARP mag, so throwing it out there.

Good luck with the bench, and sofa replacement....new storage options.

I've determined....many huge pieces of furniture, need to go, at the lake.  At least one, maybe 3 huge dressers.  One, single wide armoire, might come to the mountains, for youngest DD's wardrobe organization.  We're removing a huge old industrial cart, used to hang clothes....but first must remove br door, then wrestle it down stairs. Oof.  Might as well wrestle an armoire back up the stairs. 

Lighter

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2025

« Last post by sKePTiKal on March 19, 2026, 08:38:01 AM »

The bench project is driving me mad! This is the WORST paint EVER I have used. It's Rustoleum Ultracover - and with the first brush stroke the paint flows thick and smooth - and the next stroke pulls the paint right back OFF the surface. It's been sanded; primed. Paint thoroughly stirred; proper temp. So I'm coating and recoating. Glad I got 2 quarts!

I'm doing some in-depth cleaning elsewhere, because with how busy I've been I believe it's been a couple years since I did a deep dive. I can see the dirt now, too. Makes a difference. I don't like dust; I sneeze a lot. And I like being able to see out my windows. The next decorating project would entail replacing my beach sectional sofa... it's going on 20 years old. Still comfy, but worn leather. I have some things picked out but they don't exist in my local showroom... because a sit test is required with B and me.

While decluttering my oak hutch, I pulled out some very good rosemaling pieces that I've toted around different places I've lived. I think they'll really pop off the khaki mudroom wall paint. Now I just need hangers. I'm going to look at another metal cabinet for the room beyond the entrance. We're always looking for more storage. And next month's organization project gets me into the garage and the office (which can double as another guest room).

Looks the gov insurance has approved the surgery to replace B's pain pump - now just waiting on surgeon to schedule. The recovery time is about a month. So B could be back in the next few weeks... for at least 2-3 months.

I did order some seeds finally; and might still order some more herbs... but I'm definitely cutting back on planting this year. And shifting to things like ground cover, shrubs, fruit.

66

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: The island

« Last post by sKePTiKal on March 19, 2026, 08:21:14 AM »

Does the happiness of being able to offer this experience to others...
outweigh the burden of trying to manage the upkeep of the physical building and services for those guests?

Just curious.

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: The island

« Last post by lighter on March 18, 2026, 06:07:57 PM »

Maybe....

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: N.

« Last post by lighter on March 18, 2026, 05:37:00 PM »

My experience with "angry inner child" has been to notice who's there, what that part has to say, validating the part(of course you feel that way...who wouldn't) accepting, and inviting them to sit beside ( my grown self) as ally going forward. My adult self becomes practiced compassionate witness....becomes practiced.

As trauma processes, I experience windows of tolerance expanding also....
 I practice being mindful of being in survival mode vs calm and integrated brain/frontal cortex available to creatively problem solve with logic and reason available.

We o

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again

« Last post by Hopalong on March 18, 2026, 02:30:48 PM »

What a great assignment...to go choose a stuffie that comforts you.

My dog is a living stuffie who loves disemboweling the manufactured ones. I finally stopped getting them because bending over and over to get fluff off the floor couldn't continue.

I went on a hunt for strong, unstuffed toys. What a relief to find some. As long as he's chomping, he's happy. And in the morning and at night, he's a warm, living hug of a companion who is clamped to my side like a barnacle. I can feel my BP going down and my breathing relax...he is my partner. My source of loving touch.

I remember the first time I handled a Gund stuffed toy. A revelation! Doesn't matter if it's a placebo effect, I believe the endorphins studies.

hugs
Hops

70

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: N.

« Last post by Hopalong on March 18, 2026, 02:24:27 PM »

Absolutely. How the external training (including brainwashing, religious control, unconscious bias of patriarchy, on and on....) becomes an internal jailer we continue to respect and obey. At the expense of our own best interests.

It's life work. Life-long work, imo, to discover and passionately defend our core values and our core selves. I have mortality on my mind a lot these days but still am animated by the search for MY truth. Made or discovered in ME, by ME.

On we go.

hugs
Hops