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71

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread

« Last post by Hopalong on August 30, 2025, 12:36:56 PM »

Hops here. And you're welcome.
LOL.

Very cool story and feminist me was sooo glad to read it.

hugs
Hops

PS You might find this podcast very interesting, especially about halfway through when she talks about codependency, and the culture that made it so powerful.
https://www.nytimes.com/2025/08/23/magazine/jen-hatmaker-interview.html#commentsContainer

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread

« Last post by lighter on August 30, 2025, 09:20:17 AM »

Thanks, Amber.  I think having several hours, away, did her as much good as having her (naughty self care) suspicious validated....celebrated, even.

I'll take her to lunch soon.  The weather is perfect for another outdoor patio meal, and she's looking like she needs a bucking up.

The oil pulling is decidedly a once a day or every two days practice.  Daily, now, with mornings the chosen time.  Will begin melting the solid coconut oil first, as I'm tempted to chew and swallow, like a child.  It's almost like candy, tastes so good.

Lighter

73

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Predatory grooming

« Last post by sKePTiKal on August 28, 2025, 08:19:42 AM »

Q stuff IS weird, Meh. I got curious when it started. It seemed like a puzzle, with tantalizing clues... that sucked people in. Then, I just found other things more interesting or important and forgot about it. But it's still going on.

I think it's more like the phenomenon of groupies or "fan adoration"; and I think there's some membership of a group aspect, that appeals to some people. Kinda like Sudoku people. It's a hobby; it's mostly harmless - except for unstable (already) people.

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Nothing much really

« Last post by sKePTiKal on August 28, 2025, 08:12:06 AM »

I'm ok. I don't do a lot of "exciting" or major things either. Though I guess my improvement projects on the place count, for some people. My life is a lot like you describe yours - but for me, that's freedom. Usually it takes awhile of the quiet for me to get a glimmer of an idea of something creative i want to focus on; involves things I want, i guess.

I don't think you lack courage to make decisions for yourself. Starting with the practical things might get you used to the process. What practical things are you pondering?

75

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Interesting articles on loneliness!

« Last post by Meh on August 28, 2025, 12:59:01 AM »

"lonely individuals had elevated levels of specific proteins linked to inflammation, immune function, and brain health. Some of these proteins were also associated with conditions like cardiovascular disease, diabetes, and stroke."

Well that is something substantial to go on. But is it just lonliness or is it chronic stress that causes it?

I wonder if they will try to manufacture and sell the proteins if that's possible idk.

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Predatory grooming

« Last post by Meh on August 28, 2025, 12:24:01 AM »

Q Anon is one of the weirder aspects of our times. Never tried to even understand it but it's always seemed like a psychological operation from somewhere.

I went through my whole obsession with learning about cults for a while and then got off of that. Whatever the Q Anon thing is it does not seem like an organic cult that happened by accident. I don't know though. It seems like people intentionally misleading others. Sort of the accelerationist style theories in politics... make things worse faster to get a more drastic result sooner and then take control out of the chaos.

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Nothing much really

« Last post by Meh on August 28, 2025, 12:06:02 AM »

It's going okay have heard nothing from N or they may have emailed me but I've not thought about that very much. I'm pretty boring or my life is quite boring. All I can seem to do is wake up, get dressed, commute, tolerate work, commute, eat, and go to sleep. It just happens that I was motivated to turn my old laptop on tonight. I don't know what I am doing in my life. I sort of don't want to make any major decision but if I make none I am going to be stuck. How to get courage to decide. Perhaps it's just needing to make practical decisions as a basis for decisions.

How ya doing?

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread

« Last post by Hopalong on August 27, 2025, 07:14:52 PM »

What a great service you did her, Lighter!

Reintroducing joy, self esteem, etc.

Bravoooo!

hugs
Hops

79

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread

« Last post by lighter on August 27, 2025, 09:35:17 AM »

Had dinner with nice neighbor lady, Charlotte, on Saturday.  Her life is so closed, and tedious and difficult..... very SAD.  I felt like a naughty child, breaking an enslaved child out, for the evening......and so began her villain arc.

She's never said No.  Never set a boundary. Never NOT worried, over things, outside her control.

Through a lovely breezy cool evening, on PF Chang's patio, we laughed and immersed ourselves in a lovely white wine, lettuce wraps, honey shrimp, beef with broccoli and a flight of desserts.  She can't (normally)drink alcohol, but one half glass, over 3 hours....was a short return to the life she used to have. Her eyes sparkled....she giggled.  I've never seen her giggle.

She understands..... she's going to feel like a villain when saying no to babysitting 2 rambunctious grandsons, setting a boundary, or choosing to not fret over her husband's meals....he has advanced Parkinson's....she changes 5 to 7 adult diapers, daily, with arthritic hands.  Her heart and lungs aren't good.

She sent a message Monday am ....she was feeling 100% better....feeling entitled to set boundaries, release outcome, and embrace humor instead.....God loves a good segue. 

A huge shift in POV....
she'd been reading about boundaries and feeling defeated at the thought. 

Another Amazon steps to the fire, ladies. 


Lighter

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread

« Last post by lighter on August 27, 2025, 09:10:01 AM »

After dental hygienist said she does it, I began oil pulling with coconut oil last night.  I don't hate it.  The jarred coconut oil, from Aldi's, tastes yummy.....flossed after with Dr Tung's brand floss....not sure why, but I  think it is gentler on gums and works very well.

I woke up and oil pulled through my morning chores..... didn't time it.  They say 5 to 20 minutes, but watching that clock creates anxiety.

Anyone else practice this?  One of my nieces has been doing it for years.

Lighter