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« Last post by Hopalong on December 09, 2025, 05:12:48 PM »
So, Poet invited me to be a presenter at a Detroit Poetry Vespers (online). Just another Zoom. Hah!
We did a rehearsal (about 8 poets) a few nights before, and had a script, the link, etc. So on the night, I couldn't get fully onto Zoom! I also was juggling having a split view on my monitor (program/scripts on one side, Zoom gallery on the other), since I've left my new printer in its box due to Fear of Tech. Just have to set it up!!!! So the host wound up reading my first poem for me, though I managed to appear for my second. Still a good experience.
As for the friendship story, I spotted sticking points I haven't made complete peace with about Poet. Critical thinking is not supposed to be just critical of another, right? So, bitch or critical mind engaged, I realized more things I don't like about the personality though I still love the person.
It was like the "Poet show." In rehearsal the poet-cohost asked if she would be able to drop reading one of her multiple poems to make room for another poet, and she objected in her most aristocratic accent. The host caved, so Poet read about 50% more time than others. Her poems are fine, but not traffic-stopping, imo. As a cohost, I think she should've made it more about lifting up other voices. Sigh. I fear using the N-word (not that one) about her, but if ego on display fits....
I wasn't impressed. Maybe she saw it, I dunno. Anyway, she called me the next night just gushing about a new anthology project she wants to do, about visionary obscure poets, and told me fairly ponderously that she'd like to invite me to be part of it. HELL NAAAAAAH. I know what that means: I copyedit it, support her through endless idea sessions, and she floats on her self-image as Sage. I edited her entire damn book a few years ago, gratis, with barely a thank you.
What I'm pleased with, dunno if this is healthy or not, is that I feel utterly clear about it. It was for me verrrrry obvious that she was reaching out to re-connect because she has great radar, and senses I'm just not as available and vibrating to her tunes as I used to be. She's trying to pull me back in and I will not go.
When she called she was near tears, expressing love and appreciation, and I'm sorry but I just view it as a reflex: Don't lose Hops' attention! Keep her focused on MEEEEEEE.
I know that sounds awful and maybe it IS awful. Or awfully ungenerous. But it's how I saw it and how I felt about it. Not my circus, and I don't have to ride around her ring on the back of a pony.
Well, that was kind of poisonous. Sorry, all.
hugs
Hops
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