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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread

« Last post by Hopalong on March 05, 2025, 11:45:39 AM »

Good thoughts! Thanks for the tea ritual suggestion, Amber.

Lighter, I was just pondering how freaky I can be about some -- not all -- forms of alternative medicine, and remembering: my D did home hospice with her stepmom #1, who died in agony of breast cancer with a tumor that grew huge, bloody and suppurated, which the docs had begged her to let them remove early on via surgery. She had always believed rigidly that western medicine is all corrupt and untrustworthy (baby vs. bathwater), and it reminded me of people dying of covid while gasping that they didn't have covid. Her plan was to cure her cancer with crystals and white light and she never let it go.

If muscle testing can diagnose brain tumor, I'm so glad it told you No! I doubt you have it, but I'm a big believer in checking out recurring symptoms with specialists. A fancy scan was the only thing that could detect microvascular heart disease, and sho 'nuff. Ditto the main Rx, isosorbide mononitrate, which nearly overnight stopped the angina I'd struggled with for ages.

All that said, we all need what WE need, and you're right, each of us has to make our own choices and make peace with our own paths. I do wish they'd stop attacking vaccinations, though. It's going to be hell on so many children when measles does what it is made to do.

Be well, whatever works for you. I've got plenty of monitoring to do of my own health, and no legit need to poke my nose into others' medicine. (I do "send" people white light at times, which is for me just an agnostic form of prayer.) I'm also too fat, too feeble, and looking down the barrel at age 75 next month. Writing is on wall, question is: Will Hops read it?

hugs
Hops

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread

« Last post by sKePTiKal on March 05, 2025, 08:50:13 AM »

It should help Hops. But maybe there's a tea that would be more of a self-care ritual? That "reminds" you to focus?

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Nothing much really

« Last post by Hopalong on March 04, 2025, 12:45:44 PM »

Hear, hear. Botha youse.

I wonder if there's a Village within a half hour of you, Meh?
The #1 volunteer service ours does for people is drive them to appointments.

Transportation's a huge obstacle, even to access crappy care. I believe you about how real the obstacles are. And how frustrating.

www.vtvnetwork.org has info.

hugs
Hops

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Nothing much really

« Last post by sKePTiKal on March 04, 2025, 08:47:02 AM »

Things can definitely be a combination of feelings Meh! Trying to separate them, to simplify sorting them out, is work that can be worth "it".

There is no "should" about driving on the highway, IMO. No one judging you or me, due to our dislike or anxiety about it. No report card; no grades. If you LIKE the slower pace of backroads vs highway, go for it! ENJOY it! There is always so much more to discover and appreciate on the backroads (once upon a time, the "highways" of the past).

We all have a list of "shoulds" in our brains - whether it's just chores, self-care, things to do for others, pets, whatever. When that list gets overwhelming, it helps me to start from what I WANT, which could be the smallest, easiest thing on the list or a major project, with unexpected difficulties we can't foresee.

Shoulds are some kind of societal pressure tyranny, the way I see it, most of the time; unless it's something like you shouldn't stick your hand in the fire coz you'll burn yourself. We "should" conform to fashion; we "should" be model thin (and consequently weak); we "should" workout & exercise; we "should" always only eat healthy food (WHAT?! NO CAKE????) should-should-should-should-should...

I'm really not interested at all in the shoulds that get pushed at people. I ignore them (at my own risk, of course) to an extent that allows ME comfort in my own skin, and respect for my autonomy; freedom as a person. So, I don't let myself go to either extreme on that scale of "shoulds", but would fall where I can handle it, as a life-long non-conformist. And I don't judge other people where they fall on the scale either. Everyone gets their own choice.

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Nothing much really

« Last post by Meh on March 04, 2025, 05:21:39 AM »

Thinking about it. Yesterday I was procrastinating by looking for a therapist I am not kidding I think that task is something I should not have been doing because now I can think of other things TIME SENSITIVE ones which I should have been doing which were more urgent. Then again sometimes everything feels urgent and sometimes everything does need to get done ASAP of course that is also a consequence of being a procrastinator. Something yesterday had me feeling sad and stressed out and I guess that is what prompted me to look but I am going to most likely not have that insurance for long so reflecting on it now IT really does not make sense. I'm just wondering if I wasn't adding 2+2 yesterday. Maybe not thinking clearly then again one doesn't always know when one is not thinking clearly.

I really wonder how much procrastination is linked to anxiety and GAD.

- I WAS procrastinating.
- I think I also had a sad feeling night and that was probably motivating me also.

It's kind of both. Things CAN be both.

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: "Dr. Frank, Therapy App" to be performed at the 2025 Boston Theater Marathon

« Last post by Meh on March 04, 2025, 04:30:39 AM »

Gawd, I didn't read it initially and I pictured a RUNNING marathon and actors ACTING theatrically while they are running a marathon. Because running a marathon just isn't thespian enough on it's own.

Well, I suppose if you can do it make sure you get a good copy your segment video recorded and post it on YouTube. Then everybody can see it at some point in the future.

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Nothing much really

« Last post by Meh on March 04, 2025, 04:22:55 AM »

Hi Hops and Skeptikal,

I've thought about asking counselors up front but I would be lucky to find any near me at all. I do not consider myself right-wing I'm actually old, low class and sort of not into either political parties that much. I don't qualify as a conservative Christian or whatever doesn't matter I just come here to complain in fact everything annoys me these days. Like every little task annoys me. I am glad for getting stuff DONE if I FORCE myself to do it but my brain revolts. I just five minutes ago forced myself to find some clothes in a box and some part of my brain spontaneously shows me this image of me just having the meeting naked. Honestly this is not something I want to do but some recess of my mind seems to think everything is just more effort than it's worth. Wow, the value of one's time and effort huh. Anyhow I didn't get any usable responses to the emails I had sent to the counselors all I asked was are they taking new patients under the health coverage I have that is it.

Traffic makes me nervous too and I've been driving on side roads for the entire time that I've had my car. Only went on the freeway once. Actually eventually that is something I should get used to again maybe but then again I don't think traffic is worth it. I live outside the Seattle area and I think it's rated one of the worst places in the nation traffic wise and I am a bad driver and I can't afford to fix anything so yeah. F that.

I don't like teledoc for therapy. I get it that it works for some things but I think it's just another way human consciousness is getting sucked into the etheric neverland.

Agreed Skeptical I do think there are some people that are into what they are doing and they have an area of specialty and they are likely good and yes it's the "top-tier" type of healthcare. I've got the drive-through gas station version of healthcare though at best. Oi, I shouldn't think about it too much I have a lot to do in the next 12 hours.

No there really ARE obstacles Hops. I do have bad health insurance but also I don't live in the city right now and I haven't been into the city for a very long time. And I am not going to drive to a park and ride, catch a bus and another bus maybe in the rain... go to an appointment with a rando stranger counselor and then do a whole slog of a commute back.

Look I know that part of what I do is my brain hates everything. I actually am noticing that EVERYTHING seems hard. But the thing is I doubt it's worth it. I am going to lose my health insurance anyhow so I don't know why I was even bothering to look. There is someone I think does therapy out of their house nearby but it doesn't seem very legit to me. Then again they probably need the money and I think the insurance pays for it. Can't recall. I don't want to think about it anymore.

It's 1:20 am here. I am very wide awake but I need for force myself to wind down soonish. Maybe I should clean and make garlic bread and get off of the internet but also I was trying not to eat past 8 pm and I seem to be not sticking to that rule this week. Oh well.

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread

« Last post by Hopalong on March 04, 2025, 12:04:11 AM »

I am bravely taking one capsule of lions mane daily, in hopes it'll help the focus.

Hear me roar!

hugs
Hops

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Nothing much really

« Last post by Hopalong on March 03, 2025, 11:59:21 PM »

Mine is covered by Medicare, are you on any kind of insurance, Meh?

Hope you won't start out believing in obstacles you haven't found proof of yet.

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: "Dr. Frank, Therapy App" to be performed at the 2025 Boston Theater Marathon

« Last post by Dr. Richard Grossman on March 03, 2025, 10:29:43 PM »

Thanks, lighter and Hops!  I very much appreciate your thoughts!  I wish my friend and book editor, Bert Waters, who died more than a year, was still alive so that we could sit together at the performance.  Bert was the one who convinced me to use the play as a prologue because it captures the multiple themes of the book, including therapy as an art, and the character of a therapist being of critical importance.  And the 10-minute play served as a summary of my painful and voiceless early experiences in the field--which, unlike Dr. Frank/Friend (a character in the play), I was able to survive.  But it would have been much easier if Dr. Frank/Friend had been my therapist through it all!

The last thing Bert told me before he died was:  "You can't change the world."  He was right, but at his funeral service, I reiterated his final words to me and added: "But you can make a difference in one person's world--and Bert certainly made a difference in mine."   Thank you again, Bert...

As always,
Richard