Recent Posts

71

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Yard

« Last post by sKePTiKal on January 13, 2026, 09:01:23 AM »

Yes, it did. Once I figured out that it was my sinuses swelling/deflating/clogging etc. I upped my usual routine of combatting it non-pharmaceutically. All is well, except when the barometer does extreme swings like it's been doing lately - and then, I know how to handle it.

I did a little research online too, and yeah, the connection is known about. Screen time (excessive amounts) tires my eyes still. But I'm adjusting screen brightness a lot more and not viewing/reading in a totally dark room and that helps. Distance vision is remarkably sharp now. Middle distance clarity removed any balance issues I had been having. And I have a handful of 1.0 readers for anything close up.

B's pain issues are subsiding; changing a bit. We're taking that a day at a time, but this is the longest he's gone without needing anything extra, over & above the morphine pump. And he's staying active. And yes, it's positively impacting his mood & attitude.

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: facing the world

« Last post by lighter on January 12, 2026, 07:09:06 PM »

:: screaming in my head::.

::choosing not to comment::.

I hope you're cultivating calm in the storms, Hops.

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Yard

« Last post by lighter on January 12, 2026, 07:06:49 PM »

Did the redness go away, Amber?

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Yard

« Last post by sKePTiKal on January 12, 2026, 07:36:31 AM »

We had a couple warm days, but it's mostly too cold to do anything outside. Seed catalogs have come in but I haven't looked yet. We've been real lazy. My eye adjustment is finally getting "normal" - ish. There are a couple things I'll ask about.

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Yard

« Last post by lighter on January 11, 2026, 12:06:27 PM »

I dug up 2 Hemlocks from the forest preserve yesterday afternoon.....at dusk, in fact.  My huffing and puffing would keep bears away....whew boy!  Quite a job.....both trees 4 feet tall, with large root balls, pulled a half mile on a sled.  I think I treated both for woolie adelgid last year, but one looks like I missed it? Lower branches are all dead. I ordered Ferti-lome root drench....just in case.  Will treat again when planting. It's not the fast acting choice.....I might get something else. The smallest Hemlocks, planted in porch pots, are ready to transplant as well....maybe 3 of them.  I'm thinking of grouping them on the property line, between retired nurse's weedy moss yard, and my rock bed......in the leaf island. It'll make it harder for her to blow her leaves into that bed, and I don't want to do that.  It's an unfortunate part of a plan she made necessary.  ::picturing dense hemlocks on border::
I like it.

I still have 5 blue hydrangeas to plant.  The ground's wet and nows a good time for it.  Yesterday was warm.  Today's much cooler....37°.  Will be good for digging.

There's moss needs replacing where electric ditch was covered.  It's mud now.....moss was carefully saved.  Will be happy job.

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread

« Last post by lighter on January 11, 2026, 11:49:30 AM »

Correction......
Youngest DD's sgl mum boss has 7 children. That's shocking to my mind. She's still fighting with her second baby daddy over his having contact with a woman he cheated with. Again, shocking to me. 

DD joined a dating site.....it has prompts.....must address interested parties in a queue....limits pics and info....very clever.  The kids put it on the TV, and sort through it together. Lots of laughter/amusing commentary.....lots of the same type profiles popping up.  Oldest DD says youngest DD doesn't know how to....."deal with it yet."  She'll teach her.  Needs to go on many first dates...... banter more.....respond, not just swipe left, which is the prevailing choice so far.  I think youngest is guarding her energy..... discerning.
::shrug::.

I will say this......both DD's standards are very high..... now.  There's no gifting positive motives, and assuming the best of others.  Things begin at zero...... everything must be earned, humor on board, second half of lifers only.

Lighter

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread

« Last post by lighter on January 11, 2026, 11:34:18 AM »

So..... dopamine.  What creates in.  What doesn't.  Habits. Motivation.  Others. Self. Doing. Giving. Receiving. Being still. Escaping. Time enough. Not enough time. Just enough time.

The gut punch of a cancer dx.......a mate's, a parent's, then a child's (not in the family,) but close enough.  We were responsible for the entire family....newly arrived immigrants. Truthfully, the child's dx was the only one I lost my senses over. Everything would stop, if he didn't survive.....my Nervous System didn't have any answers to plug in. I felt like Souron's eye, before it exploded....looking everywhere for answers that would not come.

Of course, the little chap survived after 3 years of the best care....free of charge.....the family fully supported....positive cash flow, in fact.  All their energy went to coping with fear, and healing their youngest child /only son.  Everything stopped for them, but Covid and chemo. The little guy's in HS now.....taller than his parents.....he wants the be pilot.  His sisters graduated nursing school in the Philippines.  All seems well in their world.  I hardly ever hear from them now.....only from the daddy, when his car breaks down, or a toll bill from Toronto arrives.  His English hasn't improved much, and I remain salty about his family refusing to speak English with him.....to help him improve.  Oh well.   

Oh well?  Ya.  Just that.
Oh.
Well.

Water under the bridge, but there's a hard but....a boundary....I won't deal with his wife.  My reasons are my own, and are enough..... I'm sure I  listed them on the board. The husband understands, and that's enough. 

Looking back, I see a thready line of boundaries, developing into secure walls, sans confusion.  Even in the face of misogynistic ridicule, and shaming/disdainful pressure to continue caretaking/doing the work others must now do... I'm never going back, bc that time's passed. Something clicked....however out of character it seems to everyone around me.... it's done.

Being nice isn't an option any more, and it feeeeeeels villainous....but it's just steady, appropriate boundaries held without bobbles. 

Revelation. 

Freedom from generational, and sexist expectations....women will always perform free labor of caretaking everyone....even those kicking them in the teeth (fig.).

Nope. 

And so.....dopamine.  Doing. Giving. Receiving.
Being still....escaping....discerning.

Lighter

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Play Hookey

« Last post by Hopalong on January 10, 2026, 08:02:29 PM »

Sounds GOOD, really good.

Thanks, Meh. On my list.

hugs
Hops

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2025

« Last post by Meh on January 10, 2026, 07:37:16 PM »

Hellebore and quince are blooming. 

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: N.

« Last post by Meh on January 10, 2026, 07:32:48 PM »

Thanks Skeptikal.

I try when I can to mildly upgrade my quality of life by means available.

Today I went for a walk, grabbed an old frayed free-library J. Conrad book/ Made a random junk casserole because casseroles are pretty good even with random junk on hand. Finished the anxiety self help book on tape. Got out a sewing kit to try to fix some ripped pants later. Did some grocery pick up. (I am too food oriented right now)... anyhow.

There is always so much more to do. In fact I think I want to get through some stuff tonight.