Recent Posts

71

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2025

« Last post by sKePTiKal on August 24, 2025, 11:26:29 AM »

Well, B left yesterday on the two day trek back to his place. He'll get unpacked and rested up about the time he has to pack up & get back here for his med appts. <rolleyes> He doesn't care about the driving.

While he was gone last time, I took Fenris (the 07 Jeep) to a garage. S'posed to be just for brakes & inspection and investigate why it would jump out of first gear. That turned out to be the clutch, and later, the transmission. Whoo boy... as slow as B is, it would've taken him a couple years to do all that. But, he's all fixed up now and B's been driving it; I drove it no problems this time. And I have a new place to get my lifted jeeps inspected. Instead of renting a vehicle to get him and all his "traveling tools" back & forth, I let him put Fenris to the test on this short turn-around trip. So far, so good. In a couple of weeks, he'll be towing a trailer and a heavy toolbox. More testing.

He's already had Hol's jeep in a garage tracing out an electrical issue for most of the year. But, it's not like he WANTS to work on it. Hol explained the problem she thought she had, and he just assumed responsibility for the work on his own - and then bitched about how she just dumps things on him. That is a totally unfair characterization of the situation; he's not even aware that he wouldn't just share knowledge with her - and let her fix it herself. OH NO... needs to make her the bad guy. To be fair, Hol does that to him quite a bit too.

I've been quietly watching the dynamics for awhile. Been pondering how these things happen... what part I'm playing in it too and owning that. It seems a lot like any time there are 3 people involved in something, someone's toes get stepped on and dissension seems to follow UNLESS, there's a person observing and speaking up, to head the whole act of the play off at the pass.

If 3 turns into 4 (Cody is a possiblity; being discussed but not with urgency) some of this will go away.

B's experience of "extended family" living situations is fraught with a lot of negative experiences. Hol & I have had our share, but we've continued to work through and improve things. That process is BRAND NEW to him. So, I've been paying closer attention to some of his "mutterings" and how he says how he's interpreting the interactions. Gathering more information. I have, I think, at least a direction to try now. Experiments are always good.

I am such a homebody introvert, that I almost never seek out new things to do, explore or try. And given his mobility issues and my lack of stamina and patience for large groups... we need to find things that aren't overly taxing. So I'm looking while he's gone.
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Meanwhile, I'm coordinating the elevator project & contractors. Found an external lift (1000 lbs capable) that costs a lot less than an internal one that needs an addition. Just have to cut a hole in the part of the deck I don't use. Talked to the guy who did the original glass replacement for me just after I'd moved in... he'll come out next week and look at rebuilding 3 sides of the decks (which are in sad shape) and sealing & painting the exterior.

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AGAIN, garden is a total disaster. Went from cold & wet in June, to abominably hot & dry - and SOME of my "itchies" turned out to be bug bites. SIGH. I still have herbs and some bulbs to plant. I am getting the sewing mess in the studio under control - mending, a historical sewing project (chemise), and tying up loose ends of the interior remodel.

Friend Deb is coming out for Labor Day weekend. Who knows what we'll get up to.

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Nothing much really

« Last post by sKePTiKal on August 24, 2025, 10:48:33 AM »

Everything going OK this week Meh?

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Predatory grooming

« Last post by sKePTiKal on August 23, 2025, 10:52:13 AM »

As for your Q friend, I see a lot of these people around my other forums. Mostly I ignore them - and the "alternate facts" they're so eager to share and completely believe in. From Hol, I hear some of the same kinds of stuff - with a more progressive slant. Hol pretty much confines her "pseudo-religious" beliefs to feminism vs patriarchy and the struggles of anti-capitalism as is present in corporatism and crony gov't.

They are all different kinds of people. Some are on the spectrum and have deep-dived the rabbitholes long enough to think they've found "treasure" or the "the truth". Some are simply looking for a surreptious way to blame some monolith for society's ills... or otherwise indulge in a bit of fatalistic learned helplessness.

It's not that I think I'm right - and they've gone off the deep end. It's that what used to be generally accepted as "True" is now questionable. And since none us know for sure - that kind of uncertainty freaks a lot of people out. They tend to think in absolute black & white terms, too; more than the rest of us who understand and have experienced more about "relativity" and know that seldom are things totally black or white, good or bad - 100%.

Only recently, has Hol claimed to not be right OR left inclined in her beliefs. And I'm sensing a trend that way across all generations. Maybe. Only time will tell if enough people find common ground with others they thought were "other", to start working together.

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Predatory grooming

« Last post by sKePTiKal on August 23, 2025, 10:37:48 AM »

I'd say skip the mulch - it'll just compost into more soft soil. I'd dig/scrape that stuff off till you get to subsoil. Then add gravel, 3 - 4 inches, then 6 in sand, then put your flagstones on top. if you're moving lawn equipment in/out of shed make sure to make path wide enough. It's OK if the flagstones are sunk a little lower than surrounding soil, but either way, make sure the sides slope enough to drain water.

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Predatory grooming

« Last post by lighter on August 23, 2025, 10:20:10 AM »

Right now my friend is focused on the "Holocaust scenario does not line up with critical examination of facts," and "there was no moon landing."  There's a blurb about Hitler being demonized, "to serve the central banking's agenda."

He's so far down the Qabbit hole. I only recognize him by his polite, impeccable pattern of speech.  He means exactly what he says ...he believes exactly what he's saying.

He must be having health problems.  I think isolation, pain and fear have to be involved.  He was suffering debilitating arthritis in feet and hands 20 years ago (why he saw the nutritional practitioner.) She got him lifting weights and playing basketball again.  He significantly changed his eating habits, but couldn't give up a few, very inflammatory things.  Red wine being one of them.  I suppose alcohol likely factors into this equation in several ways.

In any case, he doesn't believe Trump's a God, or very intelligent.  He also believes he was a draft dodger. I say "was" bc he believes Trump's been replaced with a body double, AND is an empty figurehead for the group taking down the child predator cabal......"heads will roll" in our government....many people are body doubles (Hillary Clinton, Trump, Biden, Colbert, who's in a prison somewhere specific.)  I forget what he said, but it's a theme.

Aliens and giants are involved. 
::Thunking forehead on keyboard::.

He was so rational, in his early years.  Never raised his voice, once, to anyone.  Tried to be a hero, 25 years ago, before my world fell apart, found out the justice system isn't what we're lead to believe.....I think that might be when the paranoia slipped in, full force.  He was right about that....began operating under the radar.....being secret. Staying in the shadows....offering advice, but not presence. Many of his expensive stored things were destroyed by my ASPDh in 2007.....friend didn't say a word.  Just stepped into the shadows, explained Narcissism.....and I believe that's the last time I actually saw him? 

He had some run ins with the government, over taxes owed on gains, quickly lost....devastating, along with a painful divorce.  He stood by his 10yo stepson.  Put him all through school....even though the marriage was brief.

The truth is .....had friend been around, during my legals, the PDs would have dragged him into the trials and presented him as a love interest, or some more terrible accusation.... which would have been more manufactured chaos..... gaslighting....throwing insane accusations against the wall. No facts required.  Zero evidence to base any nutter, made up theory, ime.  When you're spending all your time disproving baseless negatives, you're not in Kansas anymore, IME.  Friend understood this well.  Felt powerless and defeated, back then....I see that now. 

In any case, I remain curious.....and hopeful.

Right now this friend is sending Hitler info I haven't read.
It will be from Q and Q adjacent sites.  I learned not to expect anything else, so rarely read more than the headlines.

I've got to figure out how to stabilize and handle a shortish path/area at entrance to shed.  It's been a natural wooded area, always, so is mulchy, soft and unstable ground, if one can call it that. Terrible to walk on.

Any ideas, Amber?  I have large flagstones left over ....might be enough for this, but need to put down sand and gravel and....more mulch? Dig way down....to find solid ground?  It's so soft and so deep! 
Off to research, and figure out, how to use 3 trees worth of logs, still in my yard a year after Helene. MAYBE line a deep trench, fill it with sand and lay the stones?  I have no idea, but will soon!
Lighter

Lighter

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: The island

« Last post by sKePTiKal on August 22, 2025, 05:58:33 PM »

East Coast ? Not really. There's a LOT of hype in the news. Just another OBX day.

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Predatory grooming

« Last post by Hopalong on August 22, 2025, 05:43:30 PM »

I respect the loyalty, really do.

I just narrated to a new friend (English) how I came to cope with a dear friend's vote (she's kind, active in social justice, etc) for a person who is, for me, a horror. It was an internal battle..."I love you already, so am I going to let this new information about you destroy our friendship?" I decided NO.

So that I get. I'm sorry for my hair-trigger projection about such folks. It's hard to contain. Q etc is so delusional and sad and tragic (and hypnotic, evidently). I admire your patience, truly.

I hope he'll remain good for you and vice versa. I don't think I could manage it.

hugs
Hops

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Predatory grooming

« Last post by lighter on August 22, 2025, 03:21:11 PM »

I asked this friend to explain his views, (so I could better understand where my normally sane, rational, tolerant longtime friend went.)

Everything he sends is from the Q, and Q adjacent sites.  Recently there's been a very dark turn.

Our 40 year friendship's been reduced to forwarding information back and forth, at this point.

Years ago, he referred us to the nutritional healthcare gal.  Really helpful.  He's a R who's open to nutritional and holistic healthcare..... that's who he used to be, all the time.  Open.

Before that, he introduced me to the term Narcissism, which brought me to this forum.

If I needed a kidney, he'd give me one, and through his Q delirium, which seems to be a fear driven state.....he remains gentle and hopeful I can, eventually, understand the terrifying world view he's entranced with.

Not a mysoginist, but there are Q narratives tickling parts of the man's brain, more about cabals and child predation.....selling baby parts, and vaccines creating turbo cancers.

He hopes I see the light.
I hope the same for him.
Under it the beliefs, we'll always be there for each other. 

Lighter

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Predatory grooming

« Last post by Hopalong on August 22, 2025, 02:41:27 PM »

Friends can't be actual friends, when they're lost down conspiracy rabbit holes.
Blunt questions (forgive please): Why do you not distance yourself? Do you feel an obligation to stay in the orbit of toxic or misogynistic or dishonest people?

Where does the feeling of must-be-connected with them (relatives or not) come from? You CAN survive without such impressions. Proving yourself immune fails because *nobody* is immune to toxicity. The exposures wear down your peace, imo.

hugs
Hops

80

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Adventures in renovations... again

« Last post by lighter on August 22, 2025, 10:29:58 AM »

Contractor didn't make it in yesterday.  He brought Robert today.....should move fast.  I already moved the step stones, moss, bench and Hostas, so they can roll right through.

I'm still struggling with paint or stain on pine beadboard.  Will make selection today and keep moving.

Lighter