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I've just had an eye-opening experience over the weekend while I was attending my graduation ceremony. My boyfriend did not travel with me to Minneapolis but my other "friend" did, (the one with the Alzheimer mother). I had my hands full with a LOT to get done while preparing for the ceremony and said "friend" started getting annoying with her non-stop dithering about stuff that were none of her concern. At one point, she commented that when she gets wound up, she doesn't listen very well. I told her that I notice that BIG TIME!
Since I was getting a Master's, part of my regalia includes a hood with certain colors on it to signify which school I am graduating from. Said "friend" decided to dither with it without asking me first and, in the process, pulled a button off of it! (This is within minutes before we were about to line up to march in.) I yelled at her to back off and got a blank stare in return. I got a temporary "fix" from one of the school employees that were assigned to help us with our regalia and got it adjusted. A few minutes later, said "friend" is back and started to reach for the hood again. I turned around and told her to leave it alone. She attempted to get behind me anyway while starting to make another grab at it again! This time, I spun around and put my hands out to PHYSICALLY STOP HER while yelling louder: "LEAVE IT!!!!!" Again, I get the "blank stare". My colleagues, who were graduating with me, were giving her funny looks. When she finally left to go to the auditorium, my colleagues asked me what was her problem that she could not keep her hands off of my regalia. (They were also getting psych degrees.) We finally decided that it must be some sort of OCD where she felt compelled to invade other people's boundaries in an attempt to force them to do what she wants.
On the flight home, I was holding my mortarboard in my hands as I couldn't pack it without damaging it. I had worn it through the airport as it was easier to work with it that way and I could protect it better. Said "friend" attempted to insist on sticking it inside some magazine. I was trying to doze as I was exhausted and I told her to leave it. She went ahead, grabbed a magazine, and started to pull my mortarboard out of my hands! I yanked back and told her quite bluntly, again, LEAVE IT!!!! She, again, gave me the blank stare. She didn't speak for the rest of the flight and I didn't care. I was outraged that she would actually physically invade my space and attempt to FORCE me to do what SHE wanted with MY regalia! Sheesh!!!!
Bones
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Bones,
Sounds like, as well as being a pain in the bum, she was so dead jealous of you, that she felt she had to physically destroy the outward signs of your achievement.
Congratulations on your graduation! What subject is your Masters in?
Janet
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"SHE wanted...MY regalia" . There you have it. And she became the center of attention, rather than the most excellent Bones, through her antics! Do not invite her when you are awarded your doctorate! (send an announcement card AFTERWARD, with the wrong date and address on it just to be sure)
Sorry you had to deal with this on your day of TRIUMPH. I love how you stood up for yourself. Still, nothing can dim the brightness of your victory... HIP HIP HOORAY BONES!!!!
Hugs,
Changing
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Bones,
Sounds like, as well as being a pain in the bum, she was so dead jealous of you, that she felt she had to physically destroy the outward signs of your achievement.
Congratulations on your graduation! What subject is your Masters in?
Janet
Thanks, Janet!
In answer to your question, I now have a Masters of Science degree in Addiction Psychology. Now I'm debating on whether or not to go for a PhD.
Bones
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Bones congratulations!
I think that we all have to struggle w/ our egos and sometimes, depending on who it is and what the trigger is we lose big time.
sounds like your friend got KO'd by her ego.
there is narcissism in all of us -- I guess it's the old adage - do we feed it or starve it?
I believe if we can be honest about our feelings and act from a position of emotional honesty, we can question our thoughts before they become negative actions.
Sounds like your friend didn't do this.
When you questioned her, she didn't have an answer because she hadn't stopped to think about what she was doing.
On a very subconscious level I think she wanted the regalia for herself.
Atleast that's what I sense.
Does she have a degree in anything?
Thanks, Authentic!
Come to think of it, I don't think she has a degree in anything as she's never really FINISHED anything. At one point, she complained about her supervisor suggesting that she take a class in Time Management (she is perpetually late). I responded that she NEEDS that class!
I think your assessment is spot on as she often acts on impulse WITHOUT thinking then gives a blank stare every time she gets called on her behavior.
Bones
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Bones,
That's so interesting! What were some of the areas you studied? It'd be great when you get to use the knowledge in a job (I've seen your other thread about the problems you've been having...).
I got a degree in Social Science four years ago. The best part, for me, was a year doing criminology. All the social issues and politics stuff in the course meant I could never watch TV or read a newspaper in the same way again - it's all manipulation!
The skills you learn doing study at that level are useful in so many more areas than just learning academic subjects - do you agree?
Janet
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"SHE wanted...MY regalia" . There you have it. And she became the center of attention, rather than the most excellent Bones, through her antics! Do not invite her when you are awarded your doctorate! (send an announcement card AFTERWARD, with the wrong date and address on it just to be sure)
Sorry you had to deal with this on your day of TRIUMPH. I love how you stood up for yourself. Still, nothing can dim the brightness of your victory... HIP HIP HOORAY BONES!!!!
Hugs,
Changing
Thanks, Changing!
I'm ready to tell her, you want to mess with regalia?????? GET YOUR OWN!!!!! LEAVE MINE ALONE!!!! The more I analyze what she was doing, the more Freudian it gets!
Bones
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Bones,
A HUGE congratulations on your degree!!!! Yes, she was completely invading your space and, like others said, putting herself in your place.
My mother follws me around the house if we are ever together - literally. If I turn on a light, she turns it off. If I am cooking, she gets in front of me and mixes up what I have put together. No matter where I am, she invades my space and is DELIGHTED when I get irritated.
(((((((((((((((((Bones))))))))))))))
Love, Beth
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Bones,
That's so interesting! What were some of the areas you studied? It'd be great when you get to use the knowledge in a job (I've seen your other thread about the problems you've been having...).
I got a degree in Social Science four years ago. The best part, for me, was a year doing criminology. All the social issues and politics stuff in the course meant I could never watch TV or read a newspaper in the same way again - it's all manipulation!
The skills you learn doing study at that level are useful in so many more areas than just learning academic subjects - do you agree?
Janet
Thanks, Janet!
Some of the areas I studied, for this degree, were in Psychopharmacology, Issues and Trends in Addiction, Substance Abuse Program Evaluation, Principles of Psychopathology, Substance Abuse Theories among many others that were addictions related. I also took extra courses in order to meet the state requirements for licensure/certification. I'm trying to get my clinical hours out of the way and that turned out to be another headache with the company I'm currently working for. I'm still job hunting in the hope of finding what I need a LOT closer to home.
Bones
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Congratulations, Bones! I never completed college, so i admire others who have that stick-to-itness. As for your friend, I agree sounds like jealousy and competition for attention to me. I had a "friend" who used to come to see me sing a few times, back in the day when I was in top 40 bands. She always tried to make me laugh when I was on stage. She'd stare at me and then when she caught my attention, she'd hold my eye and begin to smirk, which would then turn into giggling like we were in high school again or something.
I was so nervous then that I'd start to feel myself want to giggle back and it was everything I could do to stop from messing up. I remember trying to avoid her stare, but it was hard because she never let up. I didn't see it as a reflection of any ill will then. I mean, after all, she was my friend.
Now, I know better. Friendship is no protection against envy. Sometimes it's the breeding ground for it.
I'd think twice about inviting her to any more celebratory events for you again. You don't need a "joy sucker" tagging along!
~DreamSinger
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Come to think of it, I don't think she has a degree in anything as she's never really FINISHED anything.
Well, there you go.
My girlfriend, she recently graduated w/ a masters in Social Work. as she walked down the street to the car (we were going out to eat to celebrate) a sweet elderly man asked her:
Did you gradutate today.
My friend started to answer and her mom jumped in (N to the T): Yes, we graduated today. We got our degree.
In the car my friend got stick, started vomitting. Celebration dinner cancelled!!!
I'm glad that didn't happen w/ you.
Thanks, Authentic!
I managed to enjoy myself in spite of her behaviors.
Bones
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Bones,
A HUGE congratulations on your degree!!!! Yes, she was completely invading your space and, like others said, putting herself in your place.
My mother follws me around the house if we are ever together - literally. If I turn on a light, she turns it off. If I am cooking, she gets in front of me and mixes up what I have put together. No matter where I am, she invades my space and is DELIGHTED when I get irritated.
(((((((((((((((((Bones))))))))))))))
Love, Beth
Thanks, Beth!
Isn't it interesting that some N's delight in pushing our buttons while others, like this "friend" starts putting on the pseudo-stupid routine when confronted?
Bones
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Congratulations, Bones! I never completed college, so i admire others who have that stick-to-itness. As for your friend, I agree sounds like jealousy and competition for attention to me. I had a "friend" who used to come to see me sing a few times, back in the day when I was in top 40 bands. She always tried to make me laugh when I was on stage. She'd stare at me and then when she caught my attention, she'd hold my eye and begin to smirk, which would then turn into giggling like we were in high school again or something.
I was so nervous then that I'd start to feel myself want to giggle back and it was everything I could do to stop from messing up. I remember trying to avoid her stare, but it was hard because she never let up. I didn't see it as a reflection of any ill will then. I mean, after all, she was my friend.
Now, I know better. Friendship is no protection against envy. Sometimes it's the breeding ground for it.
I'd think twice about inviting her to any more celebratory events for you again. You don't need a "joy sucker" tagging along!
~DreamSinger
Thanks, DreamSinger!
I don't plan on inviting her to anything else any time soon! She does not seem to comprehend any part of the word "N-O" when she starts behaving inappropriately like she did during the weekend.
Bones
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Bones - CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!! That is Awesome!!!!
Sorry the one person who went with you to add support to your magnificent day actually detracted from your celebration of your magnificent accomplishment. Now you know and you clearly are good at drawing that boundary. What ever her problem it is big enough to interfere in a true relationship. Isn't that sad for her?
Way to go - girl!!!!!
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Dear Bones,
Re: Is it always N behavior to violate others boundaries?
First your traveling companion exhibited over the top N behavior.
I think we all violate the boundaries of others from time to time, but not maliciously. The difference is that N's won't hear you when you explain that they have overstepped a boundary. They will do the same thing over and over again even though you have been clear that their behavior is not acceptable. They will lie, deny, manipulate, set you up for more, - well you know the gig, right?
On the other hand, a regular person will hear you when you explain that they have overstepped a boundary, they know that no means no, they will apologize and mean it, correct their behavior, feel remorse, talk it through, pursue mutuality, work with you to clear the air, and so on. Once the two have talked through the incident, both will feel like they have moved forward. From there, the normal flow of interaction and communication can take it's healthiest course.
Congratulations on the Masters!
tt
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Dear Bones,
I have a slightly different take on it. When I read your post,it hit me that she 'can't help it". Whatever she was doing, she was doing it,subconsciously.
My question to you, though, is why didn't you end the friendship at the Great wall of China? Love Ami
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Congratulations, bones, on your Masters
Such terrible behaviour on the part of your 'friend'.
AS I read through all the responses, my question is, "Did she not realize that there were others observing her offensive behaviour?" I cannot imagine doing that to a friend, let alone in puiblic, and not feel any sense of 'misbehaviour'.
How terribly weird and does anyone know an N who would draw negative attention to him/herself? I'm stunned!
Congrats again
Izzy
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Sycophant: A servile self-seeker who attempts to win favor by flattering influential people.
This might explain why said friends 'helpful' actions were way over the top. She was in the company of Bones who she possibly sees as superior as well as Bones colleagues. I think sycophant would come under the heading of narcissist, but may not necessarily be excluded from other types of disordered behavior. And if it is a stand alone behavior, it may not qualify as a disorder. Maybe it's a very annoying quirk. Not sure on that.
If the friend is not disordered in other significant ways, then there is a chance that talking through this incident might be a wake up call for her and help her correct the behavior for the future. I'm just punching in the dark here, but then I'm just your friendly, garden variety VESMB poster. :lol:
tt
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:D :) :D Congratulations, Bones !! :D :) :D
((((((((((Bones)))))))))) Three cheers for you on your MS !
Say, does your friend ever respond with anger when you correct her?
Love,
Hope
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CH,
Your point about anger is funny. My NM only shrugs and giggles if corrected. She never gets upset about it - I am pretty sure because she doesn't think she did anything wrong.
Love, Beth
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CH,
Your point about anger is funny. My NM only shrugs and giggles if corrected. She never gets upset about it - I am pretty sure because she doesn't think she did anything wrong.
Love, Beth
Dear Beth,
I'm not sure what to make of that. Npd-ex always had some backwards responses - the opposite of what would seem appropriate - but he also was so extremely defensive that any suggestion he'd made a mistake would arouse instant fury. He didn't always act that out immediately, though... sometimes you'd just catch the flash in his eyes and know that you'd be paying for it later. Very passive-aggressive.
Might be an interesting thread? How does N respond when corrected... hmmm...
Love,
Hope
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Bones - CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!! That is Awesome!!!!
Sorry the one person who went with you to add support to your magnificent day actually detracted from your celebration of your magnificent accomplishment. Now you know and you clearly are good at drawing that boundary. What ever her problem it is big enough to interfere in a true relationship. Isn't that sad for her?
Way to go - girl!!!!!
Thanks, GS!
I'm finding it interesting at the range of behaviors an N will go through in an attempt to force people to do what they want...at all costs.
Bones
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Dear Bones,
Re: Is it always N behavior to violate others boundaries?
First your traveling companion exhibited over the top N behavior.
I think we all violate the boundaries of others from time to time, but not maliciously. The difference is that N's won't hear you when you explain that they have overstepped a boundary. They will do the same thing over and over again even though you have been clear that their behavior is not acceptable. They will lie, deny, manipulate, set you up for more, - well you know the gig, right?
On the other hand, a regular person will hear you when you explain that they have overstepped a boundary, they know that no means no, they will apologize and mean it, correct their behavior, feel remorse, talk it through, pursue mutuality, work with you to clear the air, and so on. Once the two have talked through the incident, both will feel like they have moved forward. From there, the normal flow of interaction and communication can take it's healthiest course.
Congratulations on the Masters!
tt
Thanks, TT!
Your explanation is right on the money!!!!! I couldn't help but notice that whenever this "friend" hears the word "NO", she gets this blank look on her face, what appears to be a glaze over her eyes, and then she will attempt to force others to do what she wants while acting pseudo-stupid. Or she will insist on repeating the same thoughtless behaviors over and over again while giving herself "excuses/permission" to keep repeating those thoughtless behaviors. I'll give a couple of examples:
Example #1: About 14-15 years ago, one of her sisters was expecting her only child and she was on medical bed-rest as her pregnancy was high risk. "Friend" had been going over to her sister's home to do her housework, (laundry, etc.) for her. Sister explained how her maternity bras needed to be laundered because (a) they are delicate and (b) they are expensive. "Friend" ignored these instructions, threw them into the regular laundry and RUINED them! Then put on the pseudo-stupid routine and wondered why her sister was so ANGRY at her! Shortly afterwards, when several of us were planning and working on a baby shower for this sister, Mom started creating a family heirloom potato salad from an heirloom recipe that had been handed down from mother to daughter for SEVERAL generations. "Friend" attempted to FORCE her mother to change the recipe and add other ingredients. Mother told her "NO", the recipe doesn't need those other ingredients....leave it. A minute or two later, "friend" asks her mother if she wants celery. Mother, again, told her "NO, the recipe does not need it." This was repeated over and over again for about 30-45 minutes until Mom started yelling "NO means NO!" And yet, "friend" kept repeating the same question acting pseudo-stupid. Finally I chimed in with "What part of the word "NO" do you NOT understand?!?!? Mom has said 'NO, she does NOT need celery! Please STOP!!" "Friend" gave us both the blank stare and the glazed eyes.
Example #2: A whole group of us had made dinner reservations at a very expensive upscale restaurant in a very upscale area. (This was a special treat for all of us.) The group of us talked and agreed that we would all meet at Mom's house at 4:00 p.m. and carpool down to the restaurant as parking was at a premium. (I was the only non-family member in the group.) At 4:00 p.m., everyone EXCEPT "friend" and her husband had arrived. (Dinner reservations at this restaurant was at 7:00 p.m.) After waiting, I was ready to go ahead and leave "friend" behind while the rest of us carpooled to the restaurant. However, because I am a non-family member, I was overruled by the others and we continued to wait. FIVE HOURS LATER, here comes "friend" and her husband while she is exclaiming: "Ooooooooooohhhhhhhhhh! I ought to be spanked!" I was FURIOUS!!! Her family was LIVID and they all tore into her so I didn't have to say anything at that time. Her family members said it all for me! Her response? That same psuedo-stupid behavior, blank stare and glazed eyes. (Later on, when she attempted to do the same thing with me and I had the opportunity to say what I thought about her continuous tardiness, instead of apologizing and changing the behavior, she responded with: "BUT.....I said I ought to be spanked!" I pointed out to her that does NOT constitute an apology because the behavior has NOT changed. She was simply giving herself permission to do it again to others and that is NOT appropriate!
At the time these incidents occurred, I didn't know about N-behaviors! Now it's all starting to make sense!
Bones
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Dear Bones,
I have a slightly different take on it. When I read your post,it hit me that she 'can't help it". Whatever she was doing, she was doing it,subconsciously.
My question to you, though, is why didn't you end the friendship at the Great wall of China? Love Ami
Thanks, Ami.
I understand where you are coming from. One of the reasons I have not ended it recently is because her mother is in the end stages of Alzheimer's and is totally at her mercy. I have been acting as an advocate for her mother, since Mom cannot defend herself, and plan to continue to be Mom's advocate for the limited amount of time she has left on this Earth. (Mom will be 90 at the end of this month.) After she is gone, I'm sure the connection will end.
Bones
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Congratulations, bones, on your Masters
Such terrible behaviour on the part of your 'friend'.
AS I read through all the responses, my question is, "Did she not realize that there were others observing her offensive behaviour?" I cannot imagine doing that to a friend, let alone in puiblic, and not feel any sense of 'misbehaviour'.
How terribly weird and does anyone know an N who would draw negative attention to him/herself? I'm stunned!
Congrats again
Izzy
Thanks, Izzy.
I think she was so self-absorbed that she just didn't notice what others thought....or maybe she didn't care what others thought.
Bones
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Sycophant: A servile self-seeker who attempts to win favor by flattering influential people.
This might explain why said friends 'helpful' actions were way over the top. She was in the company of Bones who she possibly sees as superior as well as Bones colleagues. I think sycophant would come under the heading of narcissist, but may not necessarily be excluded from other types of disordered behavior. And if it is a stand alone behavior, it may not qualify as a disorder. Maybe it's a very annoying quirk. Not sure on that.
If the friend is not disordered in other significant ways, then there is a chance that talking through this incident might be a wake up call for her and help her correct the behavior for the future. I'm just punching in the dark here, but then I'm just your friendly, garden variety VESMB poster. :lol:
tt
Thanks, TT!
I haven't heard from her since we arrived back home. She stopped speaking to me on the plane after I emphasized the word "NO" and ignored me after the plane landed and her husband drove us home. I was too tired to care.
Bones
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:D :) :D Congratulations, Bones !! :D :) :D
((((((((((Bones)))))))))) Three cheers for you on your MS !
Say, does your friend ever respond with anger when you correct her?
Love,
Hope
Thanks, Hope!
Ironically, she puts on the pseudo-stupid routine whenever anyone corrects her.
Bones
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Dear Bones,
It is sweet how you answer everyone's posts.
The potato salad and being late with the "phony excuse" is MY MOTHER -- all the way. My M was not violent,but she did those types of things all the time.
She was meeting someone at the subway station to go to Boston to hear a lecture. My mother did not show up until much later. The person went to the lecture alone. Then ,my mother showed up much later . My mother thought the person was a jerk for getting upset. My mother did not know why the person "over reacted". She did not know why the person didn't like her.Her explanation was that the person was just a "jerk".
If it was not so sad, it would be really,really funny.
It is sweet that you want to help the mother. the mother sounds very decent. Love Ami
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Thanks, Hope!
Ironically, she puts on the pseudo-stupid routine whenever anyone corrects her.
Bones
Dear Bones,
You're welcome!
Reading your last posts and thinking back to your previous mentions of this friend, I can really sense her anger toward...no, hatred of... her family.
Her plea to add celery to the heirloom potato salad sounds like a childish attempt to rewrite history... and very sad.
I feel so sorry for her and for her mother.
I wanted to say also, that I don't believe boundary invasions are always NPD behaviour, by any means... and that blank look of your friend sounds to me like an act of splitting - dissociating - which I've think implies something else going on with her... within her.
When I was a little girl, my matron aunt was always wanting to fix this or that on me, to tend to me, as I realize now, as she felt herself to have been neglected... and she could be very pushy and invasive. I think she identified so closely with me at that point, that she really thought we were the one in the same. Maybe that's what's happened on occasion with you and your friend... like at your graduation... she couldn't stand to see herself doing the things you were doing and was desperate to correct them/ you.
Anyhow, aunt lived with her mother, my grandma, all of her life, acting out her numerous resentments in a very passive-aggressive manner and consistently denying accountability, all the while defying her mother (and anyone close to her) in the most ridiculous ways. Grandma disliked clutter, so aunt would heap it in every corner of the common space they shared, especially catalogs, all around their little kitchen nook table, while she had a huge bedroom (my grandma's was a closet, in comparison) with a huge desk and floor space in which she could have kept these piles. But no - they had to be prominently displayed for the purpose of aggravating her mother. That's just one example of a kazillion.
She was always late, too. Always. And so very childish... would set her eyeglasses down in the middle of a stairway or give a young child in the family some treasured possession with which to play. All of this begged someone to say, "uhh... that's not wise", so that she could replay her "you can't make me grow up" routine. Toward the end of my grandma's life, aunt chose to get some vengeance by uncovering grandma's weaknesses in a very deliberate manner, speaking with relish of grandma's incontinence and other daily issues of a woman in her 90's.
It was really pitiful to see... and your friend reminds me of her.
Dunno whether that helps any, but just thought I'd share it :)
With love,
Hope
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Hi Bones,
This sounds almost like a neurological deficit of some sort, or a little PTSD-ish (you mentioned it happens when people are yelling at her). I wonder if it could be:
Mother told her "NO", the recipe doesn't need those other ingredients....leave it. A minute or two later, "friend" asks her mother if she wants celery. Mother, again, told her "NO, the recipe does not need it." This was repeated over and over again for about 30-45 minutes until Mom started yelling "NO means NO!" And yet, "friend" kept repeating the same question acting pseudo-stupid. Finally I chimed in with "What part of the word "NO" do you NOT understand?!?!? Mom has said 'NO, she does NOT need celery! Please STOP!!" "Friend" gave us both the blank stare and the glazed eyes.
I have a close friend w/PTSD who often does a blank uncomprehending stare. Sometimes she appears unintelligent although I know she is not. She tells me that she has to work hard to process verbal information. When she's tired, she can barely speak coherently.
Hops
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Dear Bones,
It is sweet how you answer everyone's posts.
The potato salad and being late with the "phony excuse" is MY MOTHER -- all the way. My M was not violent,but she did those types of things all the time.
She was meeting someone at the subway station to go to Boston to hear a lecture. My mother did not show up until much later. The person went to the lecture alone. Then ,my mother showed up much later . My mother thought the person was a jerk for getting upset. My mother did not know why the person "over reacted". She did not know why the person didn't like her.Her explanation was that the person was just a "jerk".
If it was not so sad, it would be really,really funny.
It is sweet that you want to help the mother. the mother sounds very decent. Love Ami
Thanks, Ami!
Mom is a decent person in spite of being in the late stages of Alzheimer's. I can't help but wonder what "friend" does to her own mother whenever I'm not around to say: "Hey! Now wait a minute!"
Bones
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Thanks, Hope!
Ironically, she puts on the pseudo-stupid routine whenever anyone corrects her.
Bones
Dear Bones,
You're welcome!
Reading your last posts and thinking back to your previous mentions of this friend, I can really sense her anger toward...no, hatred of... her family.
Her plea to add celery to the heirloom potato salad sounds like a childish attempt to rewrite history... and very sad.
I feel so sorry for her and for her mother.
I wanted to say also, that I don't believe boundary invasions are always NPD behaviour, by any means... and that blank look of your friend sounds to me like an act of splitting - dissociating - which I've think implies something else going on with her... within her.
When I was a little girl, my matron aunt was always wanting to fix this or that on me, to tend to me, as I realize now, as she felt herself to have been neglected... and she could be very pushy and invasive. I think she identified so closely with me at that point, that she really thought we were the one in the same. Maybe that's what's happened on occasion with you and your friend... like at your graduation... she couldn't stand to see herself doing the things you were doing and was desperate to correct them/ you.
Anyhow, aunt lived with her mother, my grandma, all of her life, acting out her numerous resentments in a very passive-aggressive manner and consistently denying accountability, all the while defying her mother (and anyone close to her) in the most ridiculous ways. Grandma disliked clutter, so aunt would heap it in every corner of the common space they shared, especially catalogs, all around their little kitchen nook table, while she had a huge bedroom (my grandma's was a closet, in comparison) with a huge desk and floor space in which she could have kept these piles. But no - they had to be prominently displayed for the purpose of aggravating her mother. That's just one example of a kazillion.
She was always late, too. Always. And so very childish... would set her eyeglasses down in the middle of a stairway or give a young child in the family some treasured possession with which to play. All of this begged someone to say, "uhh... that's not wise", so that she could replay her "you can't make me grow up" routine. Toward the end of my grandma's life, aunt chose to get some vengeance by uncovering grandma's weaknesses in a very deliberate manner, speaking with relish of grandma's incontinence and other daily issues of a woman in her 90's.
It was really pitiful to see... and your friend reminds me of her.
Dunno whether that helps any, but just thought I'd share it :)
With love,
Hope
Thanks, Hope!
This "friend" also complains often about her supervisor...referring to her as "The Nazi"...because the supervisor holds her accountable for her actions on the job. I thought it was highly ironic when she started complaining about how her supervisor was telling her to take a class in Time Management, given that she often ignores deadlines and schedules to do what she wants, which negatively impacts others. I also notice that she tends to attach "strings" to gifts. She gave me an item to store a jigsaw puzzle on and told me it was a gift. Then, she attempted to take it back for a refund because "after all, she had paid for it". I informed her that a gift is a gift...PERIOD! She backed off. She also demanded that I "let her finish my puzzle" FOR me...to which I said "NO! I will work on my own jigsaw puzzle at my own pace, NOT hers, in my own home!" She again attempted to "remind" me that SHE had paid for it! She again got reminded of her statement to me that it is a GIFT. It's hard to know what to make of this.
Bones
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Hi Bones,
This sounds almost like a neurological deficit of some sort, or a little PTSD-ish (you mentioned it happens when people are yelling at her). I wonder if it could be:
Mother told her "NO", the recipe doesn't need those other ingredients....leave it. A minute or two later, "friend" asks her mother if she wants celery. Mother, again, told her "NO, the recipe does not need it." This was repeated over and over again for about 30-45 minutes until Mom started yelling "NO means NO!" And yet, "friend" kept repeating the same question acting pseudo-stupid. Finally I chimed in with "What part of the word "NO" do you NOT understand?!?!? Mom has said 'NO, she does NOT need celery! Please STOP!!" "Friend" gave us both the blank stare and the glazed eyes.
I have a close friend w/PTSD who often does a blank uncomprehending stare. Sometimes she appears unintelligent although I know she is not. She tells me that she has to work hard to process verbal information. When she's tired, she can barely speak coherently.
Hops
This "friend" did admit that when she gets wound up and excited about something, she doesn't listen very well. At the same time, I feel that should not give her permission to invade and violate my physical space.
Bones
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Thanks, Hope!
This "friend" also complains often about her supervisor...referring to her as "The Nazi"...because the supervisor holds her accountable for her actions on the job. I thought it was highly ironic when she started complaining about how her supervisor was telling her to take a class in Time Management, given that she often ignores deadlines and schedules to do what she wants, which negatively impacts others. I also notice that she tends to attach "strings" to gifts. She gave me an item to store a jigsaw puzzle on and told me it was a gift. Then, she attempted to take it back for a refund because "after all, she had paid for it". I informed her that a gift is a gift...PERIOD! She backed off. She also demanded that I "let her finish my puzzle" FOR me...to which I said "NO! I will work on my own jigsaw puzzle at my own pace, NOT hers, in my own home!" She again attempted to "remind" me that SHE had paid for it! She again got reminded of her statement to me that it is a GIFT. It's hard to know what to make of this.
Bones
She sure sounds like a unique individual, Bones :? I don't know what to make of it, either.
Was she wanting to take the puzzle board back for a refund because she knew that you hadn't yet finished the puzzle?
That's so odd... like she was trying to hold you to time constraints on that when she doesn't honor genuine deadlines herself.
My aunt could never get along with anyone at work and she never cared about how her tomfoolery impacted others, either.
Maybe this is some strange combination of complexes that's not yet been given an acronym :shock:
Then again, I get that blank look, too... if someone yells (which thankfully doesn't happen in real life anymore).
Love,
Hope
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Thanks, Hope!
This "friend" also complains often about her supervisor...referring to her as "The Nazi"...because the supervisor holds her accountable for her actions on the job. I thought it was highly ironic when she started complaining about how her supervisor was telling her to take a class in Time Management, given that she often ignores deadlines and schedules to do what she wants, which negatively impacts others. I also notice that she tends to attach "strings" to gifts. She gave me an item to store a jigsaw puzzle on and told me it was a gift. Then, she attempted to take it back for a refund because "after all, she had paid for it". I informed her that a gift is a gift...PERIOD! She backed off. She also demanded that I "let her finish my puzzle" FOR me...to which I said "NO! I will work on my own jigsaw puzzle at my own pace, NOT hers, in my own home!" She again attempted to "remind" me that SHE had paid for it! She again got reminded of her statement to me that it is a GIFT. It's hard to know what to make of this.
Bones
She sure sounds like a unique individual, Bones :? I don't know what to make of it, either.
Was she wanting to take the puzzle board back for a refund because she knew that you hadn't yet finished the puzzle?
That's so odd... like she was trying to hold you to time constraints on that when she doesn't honor genuine deadlines herself.
My aunt could never get along with anyone at work and she never cared about how her tomfoolery impacted others, either.
Maybe this is some strange combination of complexes that's not yet been given an acronym :shock:
Then again, I get that blank look, too... if someone yells (which thankfully doesn't happen in real life anymore).
Love,
Hope
Thanks, Hope!
I'm glad I'm not alone in this! It's just frustrating, though!
Bones
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Dear Bones,
It is very frustrating. I wish I'd had a resource like this board when I was struggling to deal with my aunt... but she's gone now.
I felt very sorry for her always... she was so miserable, and for nearly all of her last 25 years of life, she was ill with one thing or another.
She gave many gifts to her nieces and nephew... and to my children. She had a knack for finding the most special, precious items... always, only the best. Pretty little trinkets and decorative stuff... things that we could never have purchased on our own.
Thought of something else with her regarding boundaries to share with you. I didn't realize what it was about at the time, but years ago, when my oldest girls were very small, she stopped by our house with my Grandma to visit. The kids were chatting with their Great-Grandma when suddenly - Aunt stood in the middle of the room & pulled off her wig to show them her baldness (she'd been undergoing chemo for one of her many cancers). She kept trying to bend down to give my little girls a better view, while they just stood there, mouths hanging open... :shock: I think she even shocked my Grandma, because it took a bit before finally she said to Aunt, "Time to put your hairpiece back on" very firmly. And I saw the expression whisk across aunt's face... rage. Then the blank look.
With what I now know, I'd say that she was furious with her own mother for not giving her medical concerns enough attention. But I also know that it never would have been enough attention for her... she was bottomless well. Very sad.
Love,
Hope
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Bones,
Hey congratulations :lol: 8) :lol: 8), Sorry I'm a little late to this post.( no its not on purpose lol lol :lol:
Bravo for all your accomplishments.
If I had a nickle for everytime I had said "What part of No don't you understand" Id be rich. Thank you for sharing all this. Something for me to think about. I too have seen that blank look. Very interesting. PSTD , maybe...wanting to be the center of attention, definitely. Underlying jealousy/competition absolutely.
Again... way to go
Much luck and best wishes in your field!!!!!!!!!!!
Love Tweety
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Dear Bones,
It is very frustrating. I wish I'd had a resource like this board when I was struggling to deal with my aunt... but she's gone now.
I felt very sorry for her always... she was so miserable, and for nearly all of her last 25 years of life, she was ill with one thing or another.
She gave many gifts to her nieces and nephew... and to my children. She had a knack for finding the most special, precious items... always, only the best. Pretty little trinkets and decorative stuff... things that we could never have purchased on our own.
Thought of something else with her regarding boundaries to share with you. I didn't realize what it was about at the time, but years ago, when my oldest girls were very small, she stopped by our house with my Grandma to visit. The kids were chatting with their Great-Grandma when suddenly - Aunt stood in the middle of the room & pulled off her wig to show them her baldness (she'd been undergoing chemo for one of her many cancers). She kept trying to bend down to give my little girls a better view, while they just stood there, mouths hanging open... :shock: I think she even shocked my Grandma, because it took a bit before finally she said to Aunt, "Time to put your hairpiece back on" very firmly. And I saw the expression whisk across aunt's face... rage. Then the blank look.
With what I now know, I'd say that she was furious with her own mother for not giving her medical concerns enough attention. But I also know that it never would have been enough attention for her... she was bottomless well. Very sad.
Love,
Hope
Thanks, Hope.
Also, with my "friend", I couldn't help but notice that she refused to even acknowledge me as I got out of their car...refused to look in my direction or even speak. I just let it go and went about my business. I just didn't like the feeling of being physically violated after she had been told "NO".
Bones
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Bones,
Hey congratulations :lol: 8) :lol: 8), Sorry I'm a little late to this post.( no its not on purpose lol lol :lol:
Bravo for all your accomplishments.
If I had a nickle for everytime I had said "What part of No don't you understand" Id be rich. Thank you for sharing all this. Something for me to think about. I too have seen that blank look. Very interesting. PSTD , maybe...wanting to be the center of attention, definitely. Underlying jealousy/competition absolutely.
Again... way to go
Much luck and best wishes in your field!!!!!!!!!!!
Love Tweety
Thanks, Tweety!
You are very kind!
Bones
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Lol, I wanted to punch her after reading your post, Bones. Not that I would, but thats how I felt.
Yes, I think the ability to commit boundary violation can be a trait anyone can have, for any number of reasons. But she sounds like a weirdo. She seemed to do things you asked her not to do *right after you asked her not to do it*. That's what I find weird, to the point where I wouldn't feel very comfortable with her as a friend.
Maybe the others are right, and she was jealous..that sounds like a good explanation.
Can you get rid of her somehow?
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Also, with my "friend", I couldn't help but notice that she refused to even acknowledge me as I got out of their car...refused to look in my direction or even speak. I just let it go and went about my business. I just didn't like the feeling of being physically violated after she had been told "NO".
Bones
Dear Bones,
I know this one. Enforcing your "no" made you invisible... you ceased to exist in the eyes of the person by whom you refused to be violated, with whom you would not... meld. Maybe this is some primitive, instinctual response, I dunno, but my dog has this behavior... when she's wanting to do something about which I'm determined to set firm limits, she simply tunes me out & gives me her back. When I try to turn her head toward me to make eye contact, she will look any other direction but at me. A toddler will do the same thing. It's a very passive form of defiance which says, "you're not the boss of me."
Umm... back to dogs - they have no sense or consciousness of self, right? A dog looks in the mirror and thinks she's seeing another dog. Seems to me that's what is going on with these people who are unable to see those with whom they feel close as... "other". I imagine you become invisible any time your opinion or view differs from hers. That's how it is with me and my mother.
Love,
Hope
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Lol, I wanted to punch her after reading your post, Bones. Not that I would, but thats how I felt.
Yes, I think the ability to commit boundary violation can be a trait anyone can have, for any number of reasons. But she sounds like a weirdo. She seemed to do things you asked her not to do *right after you asked her not to do it*. That's what I find weird, to the point where I wouldn't feel very comfortable with her as a friend.
Maybe the others are right, and she was jealous..that sounds like a good explanation.
Can you get rid of her somehow?
Thanks, Bella!
I have made no attempt to contact her since I arrived back home and she has not communicated with me....which is fine by me.
Bones
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Also, with my "friend", I couldn't help but notice that she refused to even acknowledge me as I got out of their car...refused to look in my direction or even speak. I just let it go and went about my business. I just didn't like the feeling of being physically violated after she had been told "NO".
Bones
Dear Bones,
I know this one. Enforcing your "no" made you invisible... you ceased to exist in the eyes of the person by whom you refused to be violated, with whom you would not... meld. Maybe this is some primitive, instinctual response, I dunno, but my dog has this behavior... when she's wanting to do something about which I'm determined to set firm limits, she simply tunes me out & gives me her back. When I try to turn her head toward me to make eye contact, she will look any other direction but at me. A toddler will do the same thing. It's a very passive form of defiance which says, "you're not the boss of me."
Umm... back to dogs - they have no sense or consciousness of self, right? A dog looks in the mirror and thinks she's seeing another dog. Seems to me that's what is going on with these people who are unable to see those with whom they feel close as... "other". I imagine you become invisible any time your opinion or view differs from hers. That's how it is with me and my mother.
Love,
Hope
Good point!
If this "friend" is unable to respect the boundaries of other people, then she is NOT a friend!
Bones
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Good point!
If this "friend" is unable to respect the boundaries of other people, then she is NOT a friend!
Bones
Exactly, Bones. She is probably not a person with whom you (or anyone else, I don't suppose) will be able to share the level of trust and intimacy which we all need for nourishment.
I'm in the midst of recognizing this within some of my own relationships.
You've defined some of her behavior as unacceptable and told her so, as I have with a couple of friends. What's next?
For me, it's to feed these folks with a very long-handled spoon, lest I get my arm chewed off.
Practically speaking, that means I keep them in my prayers and love them from a good safe distance, free from the repercussions of their lack of boundaries which can assault anyone nearby with overflowing anger, interference, sabotaging behavior, and any number of other negative consequences.
Hope
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Do you think N people have a sense of entitlement hat makes them think they are exempt from normal courtesy? I know my mom is always tugging at my shirt or licking her finger to wipe something off my face. The last time she did that I grabbed her arm and said DO NOT SPIT ON MY FACE!
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Do you think N people have a sense of entitlement hat makes them think they are exempt from normal courtesy? I know my mom is always tugging at my shirt or licking her finger to wipe something off my face. The last time she did that I grabbed her arm and said DO NOT SPIT ON MY FACE!
Kelly, she doesn't do things like that with others, like employees in the office, does she?
I think it's probably more a matter of her not seeing you as an adult individual... to her, you are still her little girl and so yeah, she feels entitled.
Seems like just as much an immature "mom" thing as an "n" thing, to me.
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Bones...
I have had problems recently with a SPACE INVADOR :lol:
He is one of the Dr's that I work with , He thinks he's funny...NOT
It's really childish, stupid annoying things. It was tough at first to really put a boundary up. I tried to do it with humor at first ( Felt the safest way)
It started with kinda teasing stuff-
buzzing sound of the reflex instrument, in my ear.....making me jump
Told him to stop...........kept doing it....my response Yup you guessed it "What part of No didn't you understand.....making him only try to do it again
He is always going through my cabinets and draws to find stuff...... I said excuse me can I help you find something....he just kept at it
He came very close to me whilst talking and I with humor responding.....making hand gestures like a box around me............" Excuse me, person space"
with that he jumped in my chair and started going through my draws like a little kid, defying me on purpose...I just walked away and ignored him like I would a toddler.
But the culmination came last week ........
A few of us girls were talking and joking and of course he had to be part of it, which no one was talking to him ......I responded to one of the girls.......... He hauled off and punched me in the arm and said"Don't say that" laughing.
Well It took all I had not to punch him back... I just whipped around (Must have looked like the exorcist lol) And said " That's it I have told you three times to stop it and your not listening , don't ever touch me again.....He laughed (No,suprise there)
His response...Well youshouldn't have said that......My response " I can say and do what ever I want , you dont'get to hit me , touch me , Punch me, invade my space, you don't have that right, He was blocking the door way, and I said GET OUT OF MY WAY, and I walked out, Fumming and almost ready for tears,I was soooooo angry and frustrated.
He later said ...I owe you an apology, Your absolutely right. I dint even go near him, he said it across the counter.. It was time to go home (Friday) and i just left. Thank God I'm on vacation this week.
Whoooooosh , these people are SPACE INVADORS.... I also think he has some sexual aggression stuff going on as well but that a whole other topic.
Love Tweety
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My mom will do that to me and my daughter.....probably a "mom" thing.
But the Space Invader? Maybe I picked this up from my mom and I am not proud of it.
My mom comes over and starts looking through my stuff. Looking through piles of mail. Snooping, really.
Ever since I was young I have been a detective of sorts. I am nosey. I used to read the Intoxicated Driver report and the Bankruptsy report and the births and the deaths and I look up how much a person's house is worth online. When I like a guy, I would drive by his house....almost stalk him from afar. I used to like to catch my ex doing something bad so I could say Ah ha!!! I think that is how my mom is and I really don't like being that way. I went to an AlAnon meeting and a woman confessed to being that way with her husband. If she knew he was drinking even though he was trying to hide it, she somehow felt in control?? Does that make sense? Are those boundary violations???
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Hi Kelly,
Yes, I think that those are boundary violations... the mail snooping, digging through someone else's paperwork.
On the other hand, I've seen people do that simply because they like to appear busy. They have no intention of actually following through on anything they may find while snooping, but it makes them feel "in charge" just by rifling through papers... lol.
During my season of control freakery, I did some of those things, too... years ago, searching for evidence that my kids' dad was smoking pot, but then not confronting the issue. I guess it's a matter of "knowledge is power"... except it didn't work out that way.
Also, to me, I think it's about filling up an empty self with other peoples' "stuff"... in the form of information or whatever.
It's a non-contact way of making a pseudo-connection... kinda odd.
Controlling people don't much like surprises, either, so there's an element of self-protection in there, too.
Catching people doing something bad, like in the reports about drunk drivers and bankruptcys... what did you do with that info? Did you discuss it with others or just store it up?
Hope
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Hi Tweety,
I know someone kinda like that doctor you've described.
He's a bit ADHD (my description only and not a diagnosis) and can't seem to stay still in the presence of people over whom he has some authority.
I sense that it's a constant battle for him to impress upon them that he's really a "good guy"... as though he's not comfortable with the fact that he can boss them around. He wants so much for them to genuinely "like" him that he'll act generally silly and sometimes uses a warped sense of humor and odd mannerisms in their presence. He does the butting in deal, too... very annoying. But actually, I think he's just really nervous and doesn't know how to connect with people in that setting, so this is his way of trying to make them more comfortable with him and make himself feel like he's not being "left out". Unfortunately, it just makes people think he's weird... lol.
Npd-ex did toddler-style, pushy, ridiculous stuff, too, of course... plenty of it... but never, ever, would he apologize.
The sexual aggression stuff may put a whole other spin onto this and would be a whole lot more difficult to bypass or excuse, so I dunno...
just thought I'd share with you my impressions of another "clown" I know. :)
Love,
Hope
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The sexual aggression stuff may put a whole other spin onto this and would be a whole lot more difficult to bypass or excuse, so I dunno...
just thought I'd share with you my impressions of another "clown" I know.
Hey Hope,
Eeesh.... after reading your comment I'm ALMOST feeling like I over reacted, but not quite.
Because yes, there have also been alto of sexual talk from him, a lot of projecting stuff. ( He is in his late 50"s) He's also talking a lot about sexual , stuff, st first "seemed" funny , than I started to get that "Been here before feeling" and the radar went up and I just kinda observed for a while. And ooop there it was. It's funny because when I first met him years ago I didn't like him ---pre recovery...
Should have listened to myself my intuition was right...than of course I did the usual ,
doubting myself stuff, and let myself "try" to like him stuff.
God truly has a plan for us, because I was not working with him then, and now work with him 1 day a week ( he only comes in 1 day a week) for the past year.
I sense that it's a constant battle for him to impress upon them that he's really a "good guy"... as though he's not comfortable with the fact that he can boss them around. He wants so much for them to genuinely "like" him that he'll act generally silly and sometimes uses a warped sense of humor and odd mannerisms in their presence. He does the butting in deal, too... very annoying. But actually, I think he's just really nervous and doesn't know how to connect with people in that setting, so this is his way of trying to make them more comfortable with him and make himself feel like he's not being "left out". Unfortunately, it just makes people think he's weird... lol.
Yes, I sensed that as well, which is why I TRIED to doubt my self at first, but still tooooooo much sexual stuff going on with him.
I learned alot, which Is mainly what I have been learning lately, which is to listen to myself and my gut, and not get to close....... Before anything like this happens.
Because for my part in this, I must have aloud him some sort of permission to come into my personal space, because I laughed and thought it was funny at some point.
I guess I didn't know how to handle it yet..........
progress not perfection right?
Love Tweety
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Don't really do anything with the information. It's just this weird need to know everyone's business. I think it is weird. Like I always look at the obituaries. Then I get sad if a baby dies or someone young dies. Sometimes I see people I know. Then I call my other friend who reads the obits and tell her.
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Hi Tweety :)
Yup... I understand that "ALMOST" feeling like you over-reacted!
That's a big part of why I'm here on the board, reading and talking through situations like this. In order to learn how to take in the bigger picture and discern wisely, I guess we have to sort through not getting hung up on "triggered" sort of reactions which can lead to black vs white thinking.
I've had to practice alot of that with my husband, post-N... because sometimes it's so difficult to tell whether I'm being reasonable or not, when some ordinary "male" thing he says or does sets off a siren. Taking that knowledge outside the safety and security of the intimacy of "home" and applying it out in the world is another story. This helps!!
By the way, that's really something... how God allowed this doc to be re-introduced into your life at this point... kinda like a progress check.
Oh yes, He has a plan!
I've had things like that, too... getting a chance to re-evaluate and receive validation re: people who I found difficult in the past, for various reasons, but wasn't sure why. This is wonderful!
All that sexual innuendo... I wouldn't care for that a bit, either! Maybe he's just so immature, maybe he's this, that, or the other... but the lesson I get from this is that it's up to us to draw the lines. We can "put the best construction on everything" and give people the benefit of the doubt and all that good stuff AND still hold our own boundaries firm. It's not an either/or proposition... and that was a revelation to me.
Progress, not perfection... oh yes :)!!!
Love,
Hope
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Hey, Kelly,
Check this out? http://www.aishealth.com/Compliance/Hipaa/RPP_Nosy_Employees_Require_Remedies.html (http://www.aishealth.com/Compliance/Hipaa/RPP_Nosy_Employees_Require_Remedies.html)
I just skimmed it... kinda gives a picture of what might be going on behind the scenes of our nosiness.
Love,
Hope
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Dear Tweety,
I think that this guy is DANGEROUS. The "punch in the arm" strikes me as way over the line and just the beginning of the potential for physical abuse. It is just my intuition.. I would really, really try to not 'engage" with him. I think that he is worse than you realize.
Your intuition warned you about him a long time ago.
What did you do? Not trust yourself( our BIGGEST problem)
Let's make a pact--right now_- to trust our intuition. How about it?
i was thinking about your N mother--- changing in to a monster.
I think that if we faced it as kids, we might have gone insane-- literally. Now, we are left broken b/c of them.. The worst thing in our brokenness is not trusting ourselves.
I am going to start to go to a 3 D support group ,like you recommended.
Tweety, I can hear so much intelligence, humor and warmth in you.The answer(IMO)is to "mine' it like a miner searches for gold.
Inside ourselves is our TRUE self and all these unique and wonderful qualities. for us to discover. The N's stripped us bare(or almost) of our potentail.
I am finding things that I really like about myself when I am 'real" Love Ami
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Let's make a pact--right now_- to trust our intuition. How about it?
:):)I tweety, solemnly swear to trust my instincts from this day forward :)
Thank you soooo much Ami for picking up on that Dangerous part in him.
Unfortunately I have to work with him , thank God it wasn't me choosing to be around him....lol
I am going to start to go to a 3 D support group ,like you recommended.
Oh (((((((((((AMI))))))))))))))))) I am so happy for you, I hope you find one that "Fits" for you...It took me going to a few different meetings before I found one that fits. So please don't get discouraged... Remember people in these groups have issue's lol.lol don't we all
I think that if we faced it as kids, we might have gone insane-- literally. Now, we are left broken b/c of them.. The worst thing in our brokenness is not trusting ourselves.
Oh AMI , I cry for us both
But "Our" spirit ,yours and mine wouldn't truly let us be defeated. We have gone through Hell and back.........places not very many people have experience... I like to think of it as HEY WE HAVE LIVED LIKE NO OTHER AND HAVE SEEN SO MUCH IN THIS WORLD :P.... Maybe God gave us this because he knew we would fight our way back to our true spirit our true selves.
Now I toast.... may the rest of our lives be as wonderful as the first half was horrible.
Love to you
Tweety
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Dear Tweety
I had this "neat" sentiment that I want to share. My F has become my biggest advocate. He lives with MY M BUT he is seeing( really seeing) the NPD. He goes to Al Anon so he is trying to be honest in life.
Anyway, Today, he was seeing how she "does not get it". Prior to this, he was trying to get her to "see" how she was. He "thought" that she was seeing herself b/c they can SEEM like they get it,at times.However, they are not REALLY getting it.
Anyway, he called me to tell me about it( that she really did not get it). I felt so affirmed b/c he lives with her. It must be like GS with her F. Other people are validating you. I have NEVER been validated before.
I had a moment when I realized how "normal' people must feel. I felt like I could own myself . I felt like I could keep myself safe and face situations. I felt like I was an adult who could cope. It was so strange b/c I have not felt at all whole since I was 14. and I have NEVER felt like an adult-- ever.
I always wondered 'How did people go out and function in life with out getting sick or exhausted?The answer is that they know who they are, I guess. they have a foundation WITHIN themselves.
I am going to have to ask Hops about this b/c she seems to save the day for me when I am wondering about things like this(lol).
Anyway,it was a moment in time when I had a glimpse that life MIGHT not have to be AGNST, AGNST, AGNST------What does anyone think of this? Thanks Ami
I think that we( survivors of N) live in a totally different "world" than "normal' people. Ours is made up of pain, suffering ,fear guilt, SHAME etc etc.. I bet that "normal" people do not live like this. I am just realizing that I was among "normal" people and looking "normal, but I was an alien. That is why I gave up. I never met an "alien" like me. Having an N mother ,with everyone in denial ,does make you a sort of 'alien". I could only LOOK normal( which I tried very hard to do) but I could not BE normal. THIS is a really big lesson for me.
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Tweety,
I love this:
"Now I toast.... may the rest of our lives be as wonderful as the first half was horrible."
Janet
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I think that we( survivors of N) live in a totally different "world" than "normal' people. Ours is made up of pain, suffering ,fear guilt, SHAME etc etc.. I bet that "normal" people do not live like this. I am just realizing that I was among "normal" people and looking "normal, but I was an alien. That is why I gave up. I never met an "alien" like me. Having an N mother ,with everyone in denial ,does make you a sort of 'alien". I could only LOOK normal( which I tried very hard to do) but I could not BE normal. THIS is a really big lesson for me.
AMI Hey :x you didn't swear :P :P :P :P
Well whatever "normal" is :? We are all normal or abbynormal :lol: to some degree.
hum.....well thats probably why I was attracted to the abbynormal's , was What I was used to, I "knew" no other way of life.. So in that sense I was pretty normal, for the company I was keepin,,te hee hee.. So now with all my recovery tool's and help I hope to keep better company and it will be a new normal for me.
Janet....Cheers 8)
Love Tweety
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He goes to Al Anon so he is trying to be honest in life.
Anyway, Today, he was seeing how she "does not get it". Prior to this, he was trying to get her to "see" how she was. He "thought" that she was seeing herself b/c they can SEEM like they get it,at times.However, they are not REALLY getting it.
P.S. Sorry hit the send button to quick.
Just wanted to give a shout out to AL-ANON...... saved my life...
They have a slogan "Let it begin with me" ...there is a trickle down effect, amongst family, loved ones etc. He starts making changes and everyones benefits...
KOODOS for Dad 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8)
I just love it when stuff comes together and there is real time proof... You are benefiting.
Love Tweety
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Good point!
If this "friend" is unable to respect the boundaries of other people, then she is NOT a friend!
Bones
Exactly, Bones. She is probably not a person with whom you (or anyone else, I don't suppose) will be able to share the level of trust and intimacy which we all need for nourishment.
I'm in the midst of recognizing this within some of my own relationships.
You've defined some of her behavior as unacceptable and told her so, as I have with a couple of friends. What's next?
For me, it's to feed these folks with a very long-handled spoon, lest I get my arm chewed off.
Practically speaking, that means I keep them in my prayers and love them from a good safe distance, free from the repercussions of their lack of boundaries which can assault anyone nearby with overflowing anger, interference, sabotaging behavior, and any number of other negative consequences.
Hope
Thanks, Hope!
I'm tending to keep my distance now even though she just recently sent me an e-mail asking why she hasn't heard from me.
Bones
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Do you think N people have a sense of entitlement hat makes them think they are exempt from normal courtesy? I know my mom is always tugging at my shirt or licking her finger to wipe something off my face. The last time she did that I grabbed her arm and said DO NOT SPIT ON MY FACE!
I think N's have a BAD habit of doing that! EWWWWWWW!!!!! :P
Bones
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Bones...
I have had problems recently with a SPACE INVADOR :lol:
He is one of the Dr's that I work with , He thinks he's funny...NOT
It's really childish, stupid annoying things. It was tough at first to really put a boundary up. I tried to do it with humor at first ( Felt the safest way)
It started with kinda teasing stuff-
buzzing sound of the reflex instrument, in my ear.....making me jump
Told him to stop...........kept doing it....my response Yup you guessed it "What part of No didn't you understand.....making him only try to do it again
He is always going through my cabinets and draws to find stuff...... I said excuse me can I help you find something....he just kept at it
He came very close to me whilst talking and I with humor responding.....making hand gestures like a box around me............" Excuse me, person space"
with that he jumped in my chair and started going through my draws like a little kid, defying me on purpose...I just walked away and ignored him like I would a toddler.
But the culmination came last week ........
A few of us girls were talking and joking and of course he had to be part of it, which no one was talking to him ......I responded to one of the girls.......... He hauled off and punched me in the arm and said"Don't say that" laughing.
Well It took all I had not to punch him back... I just whipped around (Must have looked like the exorcist lol) And said " That's it I have told you three times to stop it and your not listening , don't ever touch me again.....He laughed (No,suprise there)
His response...Well youshouldn't have said that......My response " I can say and do what ever I want , you dont'get to hit me , touch me , Punch me, invade my space, you don't have that right, He was blocking the door way, and I said GET OUT OF MY WAY, and I walked out, Fumming and almost ready for tears,I was soooooo angry and frustrated.
He later said ...I owe you an apology, Your absolutely right. I dint even go near him, he said it across the counter.. It was time to go home (Friday) and i just left. Thank God I'm on vacation this week.
Whoooooosh , these people are SPACE INVADORS.... I also think he has some sexual aggression stuff going on as well but that a whole other topic.
Love Tweety
WHOA!!!!!! He could also be treading into sexual harassment.....
Bones
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Thanks, Hope!
I'm tending to keep my distance now even though she just recently sent me an e-mail asking why she hasn't heard from me.
Bones
Dear Bones,
Do you want to tell her why you haven't contacted her?
Hope
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Bones,
Yes I do believe he has crossed some lines. So hopefully he got the message, and he will keep his sexual stuff to himself.
Tweety
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Hope,
Im so glad you brought up that question. The pre-recovery me would have had to tell them exactly why I don't want to talk , as in you did this and that. I'm actually experiencing this with another woman friend. She called me 8 times yesterday to wish me a happy Birthday (I'm assuming since it was my b-day). I have had to distance myself from her...I didn't answer the phone, She could have just left a message, and I'm sure I would have called her back tothank her, but 8 times. A little over the top an no message very strange. So I guess I was right in not answering. I just can't get sucked back in. What would I have said? Please don't call anymore your way TOOOOOOOOOOOO extreme , your all over the place..i don't know. But I'll say the old me would have wanted to "rip" the mask off her and show her who she was. That's just not my job anymore.. I have healthier relationships now and there is give and take and I don't feel the need to take someones inventory for them anymore. I'm retired...........lol ..Just another person God put into my life , or brought back so I can learn new behaviors. They seem to be commingout of the woodwork lately...I'm sure I'll be posting here again.. More chance for growth
Tweety
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Hi Tweety,
I worked in medical centers for a while and I was often amazed at how aggressive young [edit: male--thanks Janet!] doctors could be. Occurred to me that not only were they confused about who god was, but they'd also been so golden for so long that they wouldn't hear "No" from women. Or, that they'd try to get attention in really childish ways.
Didn't make them evil, but they often seemed despite their intelligence to be sort of socially deaf.
I'm glad this guy apologized, and I think your assertiveness may have helped a lot of future women (and him as well).
Hope the tension eases.
Hops
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Hops and Tweety,
I don't think the 'doctors thinking they're god' applies just to male ones, unfortunately. My stepson's girlfriend is a newly-qualified doctor, and she seems to have trouble dealing with the HUMAN RACE. She's still unemployed, and the last time we spoke, she was saying she thinks she should be guaranteed a job after all the hard work she's done - never mind the fact that training costs *taxpayers* £250,000 per trainee - I'd quite llike her to get a job so that I can start getting some value for money. :) :)
Do they have a part of their training where they are actually taught how to be supercilious, or does medical training just attract that kind of person? Dunno. :?
Sorry, rant over.
Janet
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Thanks, Hope!
I'm tending to keep my distance now even though she just recently sent me an e-mail asking why she hasn't heard from me.
Bones
Dear Bones,
Do you want to tell her why you haven't contacted her?
Hope
I need to give myself some space to cool off before I say anything. If I speak in anger, I may say things that I'll regret later.
Bones
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Bones,
Yes I do believe he has crossed some lines. So hopefully he got the message, and he will keep his sexual stuff to himself.
Tweety
Otherwise, he's in for some deep legal trouble!
Bones
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Bones, Hops & Janet,
Thanks, yes "entitled" is definitely a great description of this Dr and he is not young he is in his late 50's. All the sexual talk was getting out of line and really bothering me, so the other stuff just pushed me over the edge and I knew I had to say something. I have to tell yo guys though, this is the first time I ever got an apology when I told someone "No means No kinda thing..( asserted my boundaries) .. so I was a little stunned as well. I'm used to dealing with"N"s and we all know how that goes.........IT would have been all my fault somehow.blah blah
I just hope he connects the dots and realises the sexual overtones has to go as well.
Tweety
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Dear Tweety,
I think that you learned the "power" of your voice. This guy"helped" to teach you a lesson. Do you agree?
I did not get what you meant about me "swearing" until now.
YES, I swear that we will take better care of and nurture ourselves--- GULP Love Ami
\
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I need to give myself some space to cool off before I say anything. If I speak in anger, I may say things that I'll regret later.
Bones
Very wise, Bones... stick with the facts, ma'am... just the facts :)
Happy Friday to you, tomorrow!
Love,
Hope
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I need to give myself some space to cool off before I say anything. If I speak in anger, I may say things that I'll regret later.
Bones
Very wise, Bones... stick with the facts, ma'am... just the facts :)
Happy Friday to you, tomorrow!
Love,
Hope
Thanks, Hope!
I'm also working at the Hotline during the weekend so that will keep me busy!
Bones
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Thanks, Hope!
I'm also working at the Hotline during the weekend so that will keep me busy!
Bones
Oh, Bones... and here I thought you'd have the weekend off!
Do you follow somewhat of a prepared script in working the Hotline?
That sounds quite challenging... definitely need to be an excellent listener, I'd think.
Rainy day ahead here, so I'll be plowing through a stack of paperwork the kids brought home from school.
Parents get the most homework when a new school-year begins :)
Take good care of yourself, sweet Bones.
Love,
Hope
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Thanks, Hope!
I'm also working at the Hotline during the weekend so that will keep me busy!
Bones
Oh, Bones... and here I thought you'd have the weekend off!
Do you follow somewhat of a prepared script in working the Hotline?
That sounds quite challenging... definitely need to be an excellent listener, I'd think.
Rainy day ahead here, so I'll be plowing through a stack of paperwork the kids brought home from school.
Parents get the most homework when a new school-year begins :)
Take good care of yourself, sweet Bones.
Love,
Hope
Thanks, Hope!
In working the Hotline, there is no prepared script as any kind of call can come in at any time. It's hard to believe that a new school year is about to begin again!
Bones
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Thanks, Hope!
In working the Hotline, there is no prepared script as any kind of call can come in at any time. It's hard to believe that a new school year is about to begin again!
Bones
Bones,
The hotline sounds like an "edge of your seat" experience... needing to be prepared for anything! That would take alot out of me, I know, and I hope you get to rest and recreate in the most enjoyable way afterwards :)
They started school yesterday - one day and then the weekend, thank God!
I drove them in the morning, but it's too much gas to make the round trip daily...
so...
3:35 pm I get this text message from daughter:
"I HATE this bus and I never want to ride it again EVER."
I thought: :o Oh, my... I'd best go rescue her/them.
I text back: "Where r u??"
Her response: "Sitting here at the school, waiting to leave."
LOL
Oh, the drama.
They made it fine!
Love,
Hope
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Ami,
Yes, I do believe that was a great lesson for me in many ways. Hopefully I "learned" my lesson and I don't have to keep recreating it in my life.
Thanx, Tweety
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Dear Tweety,
I think that you are learning many new lessons very deeply. When we have the lessons deep inside, then our life(on the outside changes(IME).
Tweety, I am so glad that you are here Love Ami
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Thanks, Hope!
In working the Hotline, there is no prepared script as any kind of call can come in at any time. It's hard to believe that a new school year is about to begin again!
Bones
Bones,
The hotline sounds like an "edge of your seat" experience... needing to be prepared for anything! That would take alot out of me, I know, and I hope you get to rest and recreate in the most enjoyable way afterwards :)
They started school yesterday - one day and then the weekend, thank God!
I drove them in the morning, but it's too much gas to make the round trip daily...
so...
3:35 pm I get this text message from daughter:
"I HATE this bus and I never want to ride it again EVER."
I thought: :o Oh, my... I'd best go rescue her/them.
I text back: "Where r u??"
Her response: "Sitting here at the school, waiting to leave."
LOL
Oh, the drama.
They made it fine!
Love,
Hope
LOL! Sounds like normal kid stuff!!!! :lol:
I enjoy working at the Hotline, especially when I know I'm helping to make a difference in someone else's life.
Bones
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A brief update....
Said "friend" called me yesterday as I was preparing to head to work at the Hotline. She wanted to "drop in" (at the last minute) to show me a brochure about some stuff she is considering. I reminded her (again) that I have a job on the weekends and this last minute stuff is not conducive to anything constructive. Needless to say, she kept dithering and mindlessly blathering about how she *NEEDS* my opinion on this stuff! :roll: Again, I repeated that I'm on my way out the door. I hang up, finish gathering the materials I need for the Hotline and start heading out.
I encountered one of my neighbors in the hallway of my building (I'm the building captain) and she asked me several questions concerning our Homeowners Association and related issues. As I'm responding to her questions, who turns up at the building door? Said "friend" because she ASSUMED it would be OK to take up only a "few minutes". (She never pays attention to the time.) I bid my neighbor good bye and walked out the building to the parking lot while "friend" continued to dither and blather about what SHE wanted to talk about. My only response was an absent minded nod and an "Uh-huh" while walking to my car. She finally came to her own pre-decided conclusion and went on her way without interfering with my getting to work. THANK YOU!!!!!!!
Bones
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And she didn't seem to notice that I didn't let her into my home nor really responded to her blathering.
Bones
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Hi Bones-
I once saw Indira Ghandi alight from a motorcade of black Mercedes, with a host of guards preventing anyone from accosting her, very effective...perhaps we should think of a similar method- maybe 4 silent but watchful dobies- one in front, back, on each side?
Bones, you are the best!!!
Changing
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Dear Changing,
That reminds me of myself and my two dogs( who don't like my H too much) Love Ami
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Hey Bones,
Not an attempt at diagnosis here, but wow - she just sounds so... disconnected from reality and... ritualistic? Like this is some pre-set task she's set up for herself to perform - getting your "opinion" (even though she's already decided?) What a collossal waste of time. Annoying indeed! Good for you, keeping to your own schedule and not allowing yourself to get sidetracked there.
You know, I can feel, from what you said about your hotline work... what makes it special and enjoyable is that you are impacting the lives of others, for the better.. making a difference.
By the same token, what makes this friendship (and some of my own, too) so frustrating and... empty... is the lack of impact we're allowed to have on folks who don't listen, don't show us respect, don't really even seem to notice that we're individual, autonomous human beings!
Yuck. I am really working on qualifying the terms of friendship for myself and being more selective about actively choosing people with whom it might be enjoyable!! and fulfilling!! and mutual ... and not just such a drag all the time.
Happy day at work to you, Bones.
Love,
Hope
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Hi Bones-
I once saw Indira Ghandi alight from a motorcade of black Mercedes, with a host of guards preventing anyone from accosting her, very effective...perhaps we should think of a similar method- maybe 4 silent but watchful dobies- one in front, back, on each side?
Bones, you are the best!!!
Changing
Thanks, Changing!
Bones
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Hey Bones,
Not an attempt at diagnosis here, but wow - she just sounds so... disconnected from reality and... ritualistic? Like this is some pre-set task she's set up for herself to perform - getting your "opinion" (even though she's already decided?) What a collossal waste of time. Annoying indeed! Good for you, keeping to your own schedule and not allowing yourself to get sidetracked there.
You know, I can feel, from what you said about your hotline work... what makes it special and enjoyable is that you are impacting the lives of others, for the better.. making a difference.
By the same token, what makes this friendship (and some of my own, too) so frustrating and... empty... is the lack of impact we're allowed to have on folks who don't listen, don't show us respect, don't really even seem to notice that we're individual, autonomous human beings!
Yuck. I am really working on qualifying the terms of friendship for myself and being more selective about actively choosing people with whom it might be enjoyable!! and fulfilling!! and mutual ... and not just such a drag all the time.
Happy day at work to you, Bones.
Love,
Hope
Thanks, Hope!
I've noticed that as more time goes by, the less patience I have with her.
Bones
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As some of you may know, I'm working on the weekends at a crisis hotline. I have also been informing said "friend", for a month now, that I am no longer available on the weekends because I am working this second job. Has she paid attention to THAT?!?!? No-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!!!!!!!! I reminded her last Saturday when she turned up blathering mindlessly as I walked to my car.
Today, during my shift, she attempted to call me AGAIN!!!!! I let my cellphone take the voice mail message as I was in the middle of a serious call. In the voice mail, she "assumed" it was OK to call me even though she KNOWS I am at work! (She was calling me from her job.) When I got a free minute, I sent her a BLUNT e-mail REMINDING her ONCE AGAIN that I am WORKING and that I don't have time to be chatting on my cellphone when I'm covering crisis hotline calls. She sends back an e-mail response acknowledging my being at work and emphasized that she "assumed" it would be OK to call me anyway because she "assumed" I was going to take a break and after all she MUST discuss a BRILLIANT idea that SHE HAS! :roll: She then goes on in her e-mail that she "assumes" that I will be available to call her Sunday afternoon (even though she KNOWS I am scheduled to WORK during this time frame!) Needless to say, I didn't bother to return her call as she can't seem to respect other people's time and space! AAACCCKKKKKKK!!!!!!
Bones
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Wow, Bones... that's alot of assuming goin on!
I don't know whether passive-aggressive fits her behaviour, but it just feels that way to me... like she's giving you instructions - but trying not to sound like she is.
It's great to have someone with whom to share insights and "brilliant" ideas, but sheesh... sure is nice to have some common, ordinary respect and mutuality, too! Being baited, pulled, and pushed into interacting is surely not mutual. I'm sorry she doesn't hear you, Bones.
Love,
Hope
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Wow, Bones... that's alot of assuming goin on!
I don't know whether passive-aggressive fits her behaviour, but it just feels that way to me... like she's giving you instructions - but trying not to sound like she is.
It's great to have someone with whom to share insights and "brilliant" ideas, but sheesh... sure is nice to have some common, ordinary respect and mutuality, too! Being baited, pulled, and pushed into interacting is surely not mutual. I'm sorry she doesn't hear you, Bones.
Love,
Hope
Thanks, Hope!
I would say that passive-aggressive best describes her behavior. I've been backing away from her and she STILL doesn't GET IT!!! What's even more aggravating is that she ASSUMES that ALL of her assumptions are automatically "magically" true and continuously acts on her assumptions!!! I'm not the only one she does this to! She does it to her family members and she's done it at her job! One time the head honcho came down on her department, breathing fire, because she went ahead and acted on one of her assumptions! She described to me how all of her co-workers turned around and glared at her! Then she attempted to put on the "pseudo-stupid" behavior with me, trying to garner my sympathy for her and I blasted her for wasting MY TAX MONEY WITH HER STUPID ASSUMPTIONS!!!! (Her job involves government money!) Her response? Blank expression and glazed eyes. It wouldn't surprise me if she gave that same expression to her co-workers while they were glaring at her and the head honcho was yelling at her! It's a miracle that she still has her job after the head honcho tore her a new you-know-what in front of her department! I just don't understand why she can't seem to LEARN from her mistakes and stop repeating the same stuff expecting different results! Sheesh!!!!
Bones
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She's a mystery to me, Bones... sure sounds disconnected and in her own little world.
Seems like she's in an ongoing state of daydreaming... creating her own reality. Denial, obtuse-ness (if that's a word), manipulation of people and events... like a little girl with a dollhouse, moving around figures and furnitures to suit her design.
Do you think these ideas she has, like the one she wanted to share with you yesterday, and the one she wrongly acted on in her job...
would these qualify as grandiose fantasies?
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She's a mystery to me, Bones... sure sounds disconnected and in her own little world.
Seems like she's in an ongoing state of daydreaming... creating her own reality. Denial, obtuse-ness (if that's a word), manipulation of people and events... like a little girl with a dollhouse, moving around figures and furnitures to suit her design.
Do you think these ideas she has, like the one she wanted to share with you yesterday, and the one she wrongly acted on in her job...
would these qualify as grandiose fantasies?
My gut instinct is saying "YES"!
Bones
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Gee, Bones, makes me wonder what in the world her relationship with her husband has been like... where does he fit into her picture?
By the way, how's her mom doing?
Love,
Hope
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Gee, Bones, makes me wonder what in the world her relationship with her husband has been like... where does he fit into her picture?
By the way, how's her mom doing?
Love,
Hope
From my observations, she imposes on him ALOT!!! When I was planning my graduation trip for months and she decided to pay my airfare as a graduation gift, she "volunteered" her husband to drive us to the airport WITHOUT discussing it with him!!!! When the reservations were made in June for the August flight, I told her to PLEASE discuss the flight details with him WELL AHEAD OF TIME to avoid jamming him up with his work and his obligations to his ailing mother. She had TWO MONTHS TO DO THIS! What did she do? She waited until 24 HOURS BEFORE WE WERE SCHEDULED TO FLY TO TELL HIM because she "assumed it would be OK" ! Then she had the nerve to complain to me that he was "being difficult"!!!! I wanted to slap her so bad!!!! He was gracious to me because I think he realized that I couldn't be part of the conversation between him and his wife. (BTW, her Mom will be 90 this week. Unfortunately, her Alzheimer's is still progressing.)
Bones
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Ahh.. Bones! So in all of this assuming, we have more than just obliviousness to other people as individuals, we have a grand sense of entitlement! Sorry, I'm slow in connecting dots, but eventually I get it (sometimes :?)... guess I tend to think of these people who seem so "out of it" as being dissociated, as opposed to N.
So basically, everyone - including her own husband - is just a tool to be used in the advancement of her own plans and schemes.
My mother has planned European trips and not told my dad for many, many months, until well beyond the point when the money deposit became non-refundable. She manages their finances and assumes that because her aptitude for this aspect of their marriage exceeds his, then correspondingly, so does her entitlement to make decisions. Basically, anyone involved with such a person is simply along for the ride.
That is so sad.
Love,
Hope
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Ahh.. Bones! So in all of this assuming, we have more than just obliviousness to other people as individuals, we have a grand sense of entitlement! Sorry, I'm slow in connecting dots, but eventually I get it (sometimes :?)... guess I tend to think of these people who seem so "out of it" as being dissociated, as opposed to N.
So basically, everyone - including her own husband - is just a tool to be used in the advancement of her own plans and schemes.
My mother has planned European trips and not told my dad for many, many months, until well beyond the point when the money deposit became non-refundable. She manages their finances and assumes that because her aptitude for this aspect of their marriage exceeds his, then correspondingly, so does her entitlement to make decisions. Basically, anyone involved with such a person is simply along for the ride.
That is so sad.
Love,
Hope
Thanks, Hope, and that is so right!
Bones
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During my Sunday shift, I decided to play it smart and turned my cellphone completely off so that it wouldn't ring while I was covering the crisis lines. Turned out that my shift was REALLY BUSY with the phones just ringing off the hook! Toward the end of my shift, when things slowed down, I checked my e-mail, again, to see if I had received my new shift schedule for this coming week. (I had checked my e-mail right before leaving home and coming to work.) What do I find? TWO e-mails from said "friend" because she STILL ASSUMED that I was available to talk with her at HER CONVENIENCE!!! This is AFTER I had been telling her for a month, now, that I CANNOT chit-chat while I am working covering crisis phone calls! I ignored them and deleted them! (What part of the word "NO" does she NOT UNDERSTAND???? :roll: :?
Bones
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During my Sunday shift, I decided to play it smart and turned my cellphone completely off so that it wouldn't ring while I was covering the crisis lines. Turned out that my shift was REALLY BUSY with the phones just ringing off the hook! Toward the end of my shift, when things slowed down, I checked my e-mail to see if I had received my new shift schedule for this coming week. What do I find? TWO e-mails from said "friend" because she STILL ASSUMED that I was available to talk with her at HER CONVENIENCE!!! This is AFTER I had been telling her for a month, now, that I CANNOT chit-chat while I am working covering crisis phone calls! I ignored them and deleted them! (What part of the word "NO" does she NOT UNDERSTAND???? :roll: :?
Bones
Man, this does give a new depth of meaning to the word "oblivious"!
It'll be interesting to see how long she continues this pursuit, Bones. You definitely seem to be an integral part of her ritual.
You know what? That's how I'm coming to view these weekly letters from my parents... just part of their ritual. They always write them on Sundays, after church... as though that's when they feel particularly good about themselves and can really put a nice gloss on it all.
Bones, 6 1/2 years of weekly letters... and I don't respond. The thing that really gets me is that they've never once asked WHY I don't respond.
I wonder whether your "friend" will ever ask... but I doubt it.
Love,
Hope
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During my Sunday shift, I decided to play it smart and turned my cellphone completely off so that it wouldn't ring while I was covering the crisis lines. Turned out that my shift was REALLY BUSY with the phones just ringing off the hook! Toward the end of my shift, when things slowed down, I checked my e-mail to see if I had received my new shift schedule for this coming week. What do I find? TWO e-mails from said "friend" because she STILL ASSUMED that I was available to talk with her at HER CONVENIENCE!!! This is AFTER I had been telling her for a month, now, that I CANNOT chit-chat while I am working covering crisis phone calls! I ignored them and deleted them! (What part of the word "NO" does she NOT UNDERSTAND???? :roll: :?
Bones
Man, this does give a new depth of meaning to the word "oblivious"!
It'll be interesting to see how long she continues this pursuit, Bones. You definitely seem to be an integral part of her ritual.
You know what? That's how I'm coming to view these weekly letters from my parents... just part of their ritual. They always write them on Sundays, after church... as though that's when they feel particularly good about themselves and can really put a nice gloss on it all.
Bones, 6 1/2 years of weekly letters... and I don't respond. The thing that really gets me is that they've never once asked WHY I don't respond.
I wonder whether your "friend" will ever ask... but I doubt it.
Love,
Hope
I think her being oblivious is just the tip of the iceberg with her. It's gotten to the point that every time I encounter another example of her mindlessness and acting oblivious that I think of a Gallagher video where he had this huge character stumbling around with his head stuck up his you-know-what!
Bones
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I do plan to give a birthday card to her mother for her 90th birthday this week.
Bones
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Hi Bones,
You have the patience of a saint.
I would probably be bald right about now from pulling my hair out if I had to deal with this from an adult. She reminds me of my kids who suddenly become hearing impaired when they hear the word no. It is almost as though they have very, very selective amnesia when it comes to the words “no” or “don’t.”
Did she ever have any sort of head trauma?
I am curious if she would react differently if instead of using “no” or “don’t” she was given instructions on what she could do - for example, while I am at the crisis center, you can call me between these hours only … (sometimes works better with my kids if I give them a what can instead of what can't – and her behavior seems very childlike).
It would be interesting to see if her brain just flatlines on the word “no” (like a little kid) or if her brain flatlines on anything that does not mesh with what she wants, regardless of what is said (like an N).
I really admire you for putting up with the nonsense to help her mother. It takes a toll dealing with people like this.
Much love to you,
Peace
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Hope – you said
The thing that really gets me is that they've never once asked WHY I don't respond.
I had the same thing happen with my parents. I did not initiate a phone call to them once in 10 years (at that time we were still associating). I would return a call – but never once did I initiate one. I got plenty of grief over not calling enough, but was never once asked why. I thought that was really telling – either they had the answer already figured out (I was a self-centered brat) or they didn’t ask because they didn’t want to hear the answer.
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Bones,
That's sweet of you to remember her mother's birthday. Hugs!
Peace,
I'm betting it's "not wanting to hear the answer". You don't seem like a brat to me :D
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Bones,
I hear lack of respect, entitlement, grandiosity................. = well you know what
I think Ns always violate others boundaries, its a game, even if the consequences are to their own detriment. It's like the little kid putting their hand on the hot stove, they are told do not do this, it will hurt you but they go right ahead and do it and until they suffer enough they will continue to do it. The difference with Ns is that they don't care about cost, they get some sort of buzz out of breaking the rules and who it hurts in the process well, hell, they are only objects.
axa
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Hi Bones,
You have the patience of a saint.
I would probably be bald right about now from pulling my hair out if I had to deal with this from an adult. She reminds me of my kids who suddenly become hearing impaired when they hear the word no. It is almost as though they have very, very selective amnesia when it comes to the words “no” or “don’t.”
Did she ever have any sort of head trauma?
I am curious if she would react differently if instead of using “no” or “don’t” she was given instructions on what she could do - for example, while I am at the crisis center, you can call me between these hours only … (sometimes works better with my kids if I give them a what can instead of what can't – and her behavior seems very childlike).
It would be interesting to see if her brain just flatlines on the word “no” (like a little kid) or if her brain flatlines on anything that does not mesh with what she wants, regardless of what is said (like an N).
I really admire you for putting up with the nonsense to help her mother. It takes a toll dealing with people like this.
Much love to you,
Peace
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hope – you said
The thing that really gets me is that they've never once asked WHY I don't respond.
I had the same thing happen with my parents. I did not initiate a phone call to them once in 10 years (at that time we were still associating). I would return a call – but never once did I initiate one. I got plenty of grief over not calling enough, but was never once asked why. I thought that was really telling – either they had the answer already figured out (I was a self-centered brat) or they didn’t ask because they didn’t want to hear the answer.
Thanks, Peace.
No, she's not brain damaged. I've noticed that she seems to have the symptoms of ADD as well. My sense is that she learned her infuriating habit growing up where her mother gave in to her after she continued to dither until the "No" turned into a "Yes" for what she wanted at that instant. As a result, this habit is now ingrained into her and drives other adults around her crazy! She recently contacted me to complain how one of her sisters is in a "foul mood" towards her. (Geez, I wonder why?)
Bones
-
Bones,
That's sweet of you to remember her mother's birthday. Hugs!
Peace,
I'm betting it's "not wanting to hear the answer". You don't seem like a brat to me :D
Thanks, Hope!
Bones
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Bones,
I hear lack of respect, entitlement, grandiosity................. = well you know what
I think Ns always violate others boundaries, its a game, even if the consequences are to their own detriment. It's like the little kid putting their hand on the hot stove, they are told do not do this, it will hurt you but they go right ahead and do it and until they suffer enough they will continue to do it. The difference with Ns is that they don't care about cost, they get some sort of buzz out of breaking the rules and who it hurts in the process well, hell, they are only objects.
axa
You're right, Axa! That is an accurate description!
Bones
-
Sounds like a perfect description, Axa! Wish I didn't get sucked into the game so easily. I feel like the movie Poltergiest --"Go to the light, Carol Ann!" :)
-
I'm waiting to see how Mom's birthday party turns out this evening. Should be interesting!
Bones
-
Mom did real well on her 90th birthday party. Said "friend" was another story when she attempted to give all of us one fresh tomato each as "party favors". The other guests and I looked at her as if she had lost her mind!
Bones
-
Dear Bones.
I think that my Mother has ANOTHER LIFE AS YOUR FRIEND.
-
Dear Bones.
I think that my Mother has ANOTHER LIFE AS YOUR FRIEND.
It makes me wonder where their brains are!!!! Sheesh!!!!
Bones
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Dear Bones.
I think that my Mother has ANOTHER LIFE AS YOUR FRIEND.
It makes me wonder where their brains are!!!! Sheesh!!!!
Bones
Up their bottoms. :D :D :D
Janet
-
So true! So true!!
During the birthday dinner, said "friend" "accidentally" divulged the address of another sister after this particular sister had emphasized NOT to do so!!! (This sister has her reasons that do not involve me.) "Friend" immediately follows up with "You have instant amnesia!", then with "I ASSUME it's okay!" All I did was roll my eyes. :roll: I have a gut feeling that I'm going to be eventually getting a phone call, in the near future, about how this other sister tore her a new you-know-what because of her persistence in blathering mindlessly while listening to NOTHING! Sheesh!!!
Bones
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Hi Miss Bones!
I thought we should plan a party for your friend- I could whip up an onion cherry liver cake with tofu raspberry-garlic frosting, and as for her gifts, we could wrap up a lovely rutabaga, some pretty rhubarb, and pour some carrot juice in a (flimsy) box! Atop the cake, using kippers, we can write "Bug off, Bug -a-loo!"
Hugs,
Changing
P.S. Block her calls to your cell during hotline duty!
Love,
C.
-
Changing,
You forgot about something for her to drink...what about 'cat's wee surprise'? :D
Janet
-
Missy Janet-
You are, as always, the consumate hostess! The perfect touch! Thank you for the incredibly infernal suggestion!
Love from your friend,
Changing
-
NOW--- we are having an interesting discussion Ami
-
Hi Miss Bones!
I thought we should plan a party for your friend- I could whip up an onion cherry liver cake with tofu raspberry-garlic frosting, and as for her gifts, we could wrap up a lovely rutabaga, some pretty rhubarb, and pour some carrot juice in a (flimsy) box! Atop the cake, using kippers, we can write "Bug off, Bug -a-loo!"
Hugs,
Changing
P.S. Block her calls to your cell during hotline duty!
Love,
C.
:lol:
Thanks, Changing!
Also, I make it a point of just shutting the phone off completely while I'm on duty so that any calls automatically go to my voice mail where I can screen them.
Bones
-
The thought just occurred to me that when said "friend" thoughtlessly blathered her sister's address to everyone at the dinner table, she mindlessly violated that sister's boundary as well. She also attempted to justify this violation by stating that this sister "chose not to attend the party"! (The sister in question has a teenage son and his needs come first. That is what mothers usually do if they are not Ns.) Then she has the nerve to wonder why we all get irritated at her while she attempts to act unintelligent about what she just did and continues to have her head up her own bottom! Sheesh!!! :x
Bones
-
I think she's gotten the message as she has left me alone for now.
Bones
-
And I'm feeling VERY relieved!!!!!
Bones
-
Good Bye to my mother------ Bones
-
Good Bye to my mother------ Bones
:?:
Bones
-
I meant that you seemed to be saying goodbye to your friend who I affectionately call "my mother".
-
I meant that you seemed to be saying goodbye to your friend who I affectionately call "my mother".
O. I. C.
You're right, I've basically have said "good bye" to her. With friends like that, who needs enemies?
Bones
-
Bones,
My NSister actually used to say to me (with a straight face) 'with a sister like me, you don't need friends, do you?'
:shock: :shock: :shock:
Janet
-
Bones,
My NSister actually used to say to me (with a straight face) 'with a sister like me, you don't need friends, do you?'
:shock: :shock: :shock:
Janet
Good Grief!!!!
Bones
-
Would you believe that "Said Friend" sent me two e-mails back-to-back?!?!? Needless to say, they both got deleted without a response! I REALLY do NOT want to have any further dealings with her since she cannot seem to respect anyone's boundaries!
Bones
-
There is one dilemma though. Several months ago, a neighbor and I committed to a yard sale, in another city, to get rid of the clutter in our homes. Unfortunately, "said friend" will be at the same yard sale, next week, so it's going to be a bit awkward.
Bones
-
A thought just occurred to me regarding her passive-aggressive behavior. In looking at her behaviors from a global perspective, I couldn't help but notice a pattern of what appears to be passive-aggressive resentment. Case in point: She always wanted to be a mother but things just didn't happen that way. When one of her sisters finally became pregnant, she had to go on medical bed rest because her pregnancy was high risk. As a result, this one sister had to rely on others to get things taken care of (i.e. cooking, cleaning and laundry). When "said friend" went to her sister's home to help her, the sister gave her explicit instructions on how to launder her maternity bras given that they were both delicate and expensive. "Said friend" completely ignored these instructions, threw the maternity bras in with the regular laundry, and destroyed them. How I found out about it was when "said friend" was regaling the incident to me and giggling about it because SHE thought it was funny!
Years later, she tries to rip apart my regalia minutes before my graduation ceremony is about to start! Then attempts to yank my mortarboard out of my hands on the plane ride home after being specifically told to leave it alone! This led me to think of the following possibility:
(a) She wanted to become a mother, does not achieve that goal but her sister does.
(b) She wanted to complete her college education, does not achieve that goal but I do.
What better way to passively-aggressively express her resentment against these achievements than to attempt to destroy the symbols of the achievements (i.e. the maternity bras and my regalia)? This pattern struck me as quite interesting.
Bones
-
Bones,
I think you've hit the nail on the head, there.
Janet
-
Bones,
I think you've hit the nail on the head, there.
Janet
Thanks, Janet!
And when she gets confronted about her passive-aggressive behaviors, she puts on the "pseudo-stupid" routine along with the blank stare and glazed eyes. I think her husband finally get fed up with her yesterday because she called me complaining that he was "being touchy and difficult". My response to her: "Whatever" and cut off the conversation by telling her I was heading out the door, then I hung up. Stick a fork in me, I'm done.
Bones
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Bones,
My Nsister can do that 'blank stare and glazed eyes' routine like a pro. And anyone who doesn't go along with it is BOUND to be labelled 'touchy and difficult' (I should know). :)
Janet
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Bones,
My Nsister can do that 'blank stare and glazed eyes' routine like a pro. And anyone who doesn't go along with it is BOUND to be labelled 'touchy and difficult' (I should know). :)
Janet
Sounds like your Nsister and my Nfriend were separated at birth!
Bones
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Dear Bones
.I think that you have the MO of your friend(if we can use that term). It is really hard to see and face the truth, though.Isn't it? Ami
-
There is one dilemma though. Several months ago, a neighbor and I committed to a yard sale, in another city, to get rid of the clutter in our homes. Unfortunately, "said friend" will be at the same yard sale, next week, so it's going to be a bit awkward.
Bones
To give an update:
When this committment was made, several months ago, my neighbor requested that she be given information well ahead of time because she is a single mother with an elementary school-age child and she needs time to make the necessary accommodations. "Said friend" waits until LITERALLY the LAST SECOND to provide this information and expected us to instantaneously drop what we needed to do for her convenience! As a result, the neighbor could not participate in the yard sale and Nfriend continued to act completely clueless! (Again, I think it's passive-aggressive narcissim toward people who are parents since fate did not allow her to achieve motherhood.) I REALLY DESPISE NARCISSISTS!!!!!
Bones
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Dear Bones
.I think that you have the MO of your friend(if we use that term). It is really hard to see and face the truth, though.Isn't it? Ami
Thanks, Ami.
Given that we have basicly known each other since we were in high school, it took awhile to comprehend a lot of things. (I didn't know about narcissism before I started researching the behavior recently.) Now that things are starting to make a little more sense, I'm finding that I'm less tolerant of the BS.
Bones
-
Something I observed during the yard sale that really has me puzzled. At one point, while Nfriend was sitting with a plate of food in her lap, a yellow jacket started buzzing around her. Having been stung by yellow jackets myself, I didn't want to see anyone else stung. Those little buggers are NASTY!!! I commented that there was a yellow jacket hovering around her plate of food. Any other person with half a brain would have looked at the plate to notice the wasp. Nfriend gives me the glassy-eyed stare and goes: "Huh? Wha...???" then looks everywhere else EXCEPT down at her plate of food where the yellow jacket is sitting!!!!! Completely oblivious!!!!! All I could do was shake my head and figure: "Idiot! If you want to get stung, go ahead and be my guest! I've done my duty!"
Bones
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Bones,
Well, going by the behaviour of my Nsister, I would say that they'd do ANYTHING rather than take the advice of someone else....even if it means getting stung by a yellow jacket. If SHE'D seen the yellow jacket FIRST, she might have behaved more like a normal person. But no.
Janet
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Bones,
Well, going by the behaviour of my Nsister, I would say that they'd do ANYTHING rather than take the advice of someone else....even if it means getting stung by a yellow jacket. If SHE'D seen the yellow jacket FIRST, she might have behaved more like a normal person. But no.
Janet
I would say that Nfriend and Nsister are both idiots!
Bones
-
At one point, this past week, Nfriend sends me an e-mail asking me to go shopping with her (at the last minute, of course). I respond with: "No. I have an appointment this evening." As I'm getting ready to leave for my appointment, she shows up at my door with: "You can go shopping with me now...right??????" Again, I respond with: "NO! I have an appointment and I'm getting ready to leave for it!" Her response, (with the blank stare and glazed eyes): "Oh-h-h-h-h! You can't go shopping with me now!" (What part of the word "No" does she NOT understand?) I didn't bother to tell her that the appointment was for a manicure and a pedicure. (I had been on a waiting list for a month and I was looking forward to having my very FIRST pedicure in my life.) When she noticed my manicure, the next day, she had to comment: "Oh-h-h-h-h! So THAT was your APPOINTMENT!" (Did I hear just a hint of sarcasm in her voice?) :roll: (Not my problem.)
Bones
-
Bones...you don't think MY Nsister could be YOUR Nfriend, do you?
Just a thought. :shock:
Janet
-
Bonesy-
Two Words- Vicious Guard Dog (OK that was 3 words, but you understand my point I hope - unexpected guests, other than George Clooney pining for a date, get greeted by rows of gleaming white snapping teeth!) I used to have a house near a neighbor on a hill. She had several pair of Rottweilers who could scan the vast area from on high and come bounding down toward any potential tresspassers . Quite awe-inspiring and effective ...
Love,
Changing
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Dear Bones,
You are really funny and cute .
Ami
-
Bones...you don't think MY Nsister could be YOUR Nfriend, do you?
Just a thought. :shock:
Janet
Who knows???????
Bones
-
Bonesy-
Two Words- Vicious Guard Dog (OK that was 3 words, but you understand my point I hope - unexpected guests, other than George Clooney pining for a date, get greeted by rows of gleaming white snapping teeth!) I used to have a house near a neighbor on a hill. She had several pair of Rottweilers who could scan the vast area from on high and come bounding down toward any potential tresspassers . Quite awe-inspiring and effective ...
Love,
Changing
:lol: Thanks, Changing! Since I live in a condominium development, I'm not sure how to adapt a large dog to a small space.
Bones
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Dear Bones,
You are really funny and cute .
Ami
:D Thanks, Ami! :D
Bones
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Bonesy-
Two Words- Vicious Guard Dog (OK that was 3 words, but you understand my point I hope - unexpected guests, other than George Clooney pining for a date, get greeted by rows of gleaming white snapping teeth!) I used to have a house near a neighbor on a hill. She had several pair of Rottweilers who could scan the vast area from on high and come bounding down toward any potential tresspassers . Quite awe-inspiring and effective ...
Love,
Changing
I've always wanted to say "Release the hounds!" How lucky your neighbor was changing.
-
Iphi-
Release the hounds! That is cool. Unfortunately, my own mismatched set of rescued hounds might give someone laughing fits, but they do not have that Rottweler effect!
Bonesy- can you believe that I just figured out what BonesMS is??!!??? Bonsey Mistress of Science. How utterly beautiful- I am so proud of you!!!
Love,
Changing
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Dear Bones,
I only want to know one thing...
what color are your toenails???
:D
and Iphi.... I'll have to try that on the UPS driver next time he comes 'round.... Release the hounds!!! lol
Today he saw my precious little Daisy Dawg's very large brown head at the open window (and heard her ferocious woo woo WOO) and opted for leaving the package outside the back door. Who needs to knock when you've got a built in visitor-announcement-system! :D
-
Iphi-
Release the hounds! That is cool. Unfortunately, my own mismatched set of rescued hounds might give someone laughing fits, but they do not have that Rottweler effect!
Bonesy- can you believe that I just figured out what BonesMS is??!!??? Bonsey Mistress of Science. How utterly beautiful- I am so proud of you!!!
Love,
Changing
:D Thanks, Changing! :D
Bones
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Dear Bones,
I only want to know one thing...
what color are your toenails???
:D
and Iphi.... I'll have to try that on the UPS driver next time he comes 'round.... Release the hounds!!! lol
Today he saw my precious little Daisy Dawg's very large brown head at the open window (and heard her ferocious woo woo WOO) and opted for leaving the package outside the back door. Who needs to knock when you've got a built in visitor-announcement-system! :D
Thanks, Hope!
The bottle of nail polish said "French Manicure" and it looks like a "flesh" color. I'm looking forward to my next pedicure! :D
Bones
-
Nfriend just sent me an e-mail assuming that I had nothing to do and nowhere to go on Monday, wanting me to help her with her mother's doctors' appointments. I was quite blunt when I stated that I will not allow her to jam up my schedule and make me late for work, mother or no mother.
Bones
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Hi Bonesy-
Next time tell her you broke a nail and you need to get it polished- STAT! Then sic the dogs on her (maybe recordings of dogs?)
Love Changing
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Hi Bonesy-
Next time tell her you broke a nail and you need to get it polished- STAT! Then sic the dogs on her (maybe recordings of dogs?)
Love Changing
Thanks, Changing!
I'm not certain if I want to waste that kind of energy on her, especially when she persists in acting the DOOFUS, being completely oblivious to whatever is said to her.
Bones
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Hi Bones,
I had a friend to whom I was as irritating for personality reasons as your friend is to you.
Eventually, one day that friend told me she didn't enjoy being around me, and ended the friendship.
I didn't grieve, because I wasn't enjoying it either...but I was hurt and all that.
For a while.
A remarkably short while.
Because it was obvious to me, on some level, that she was right. We weren't really all that compatible.
And I'm fine about it now...I spend zero seconds thinking about her rejection, and since then have found new friends with whom I feel much more connection, and vice versa. (If I'd stayed in my pattern with her, all of that time would have been blocked from using it to be open to meeting people who DO enjoy and value me.)
Way down in, I think she did us both a favor.
Long story shorter, perhaps it would be a kindnes if you could find the gentlest, non-blaming way to tell her that you feel you're not happy in this friendship any longer, and you want her to take the time she spends contacting you to reach out and find new friends.
What do you think?
Hops
-
Hi Bones,
I had a friend to whom I was as irritating for personality reasons as your friend is to you.
Eventually, one day that friend told me she didn't enjoy being around me, and ended the friendship.
I didn't grieve, because I wasn't enjoying it either...but I was hurt and all that.
For a while.
A remarkably short while.
Because it was obvious to me, on some level, that she was right. We weren't really all that compatible.
And I'm fine about it now...I spend zero seconds thinking about her rejection, and since then have found new friends with whom I feel much more connection, and vice versa. (If I'd stayed in my pattern with her, all of that time would have been blocked from using it to be open to meeting people who DO enjoy and value me.)
Way down in, I think she did us both a favor.
Long story shorter, perhaps it would be a kindnes if you could find the gentlest, non-blaming way to tell her that you feel you're not happy in this friendship any longer, and you want her to take the time she spends contacting you to reach out and find new friends.
What do you think?
Hops
I know she has other friends. I've been in the unfortunate position of observing her manipulating them the same way while she acts the DOOFUS because she "assumes"........
Bones
-
In response to my own question....I think the answer is yes.
Earlier today, I attended what is known as a "cherrette" regarding architectural and community changes. Long story about what a cherrette is. During the roundtable discussion, the topic(s) of the disabled, the homeless and a pedestrian walkway, that enables physically challenged individuals to get to a nearby shopping center, came up. One idiot, who believed in his own mind that he is cute and funny, suggested blowing up the pedestrian walkway and having the disabled and the homeless kept to "their side" so he wouldn't have to look at them because he didn't want them in his backyard. Needless to say, I went off and told him that his inappropriate remarks weren't even CLOSE to being funny and to back up! He left the roundtable discussion. (Good riddance!) I was outraged at his attitude!!!!
Bones
-
Granted, I would have LOVED to do something other than raise my voice at that idiot but the law does not allow that. At least I put my concerns on the table and hope the powers-that-be consider them when they do any architectural changes. I tried to take care of myself by going to a friend's party. (He usually has a Moonbounce for me to play in.) Unfortunately, there was no Moonbounce this year but he had a lot of Silly String available to play with!
Bones
-
Well, the Passive-Aggressive Nfriend tried again! I had already told her, via e-mail last Thursday, that I was not going to allow her to make me late for work on Monday and that I was not available to help her with her mother's appointments. On Monday, I'm in the process of waiting for my lunch to cook and I'm resting in preparation for my late shift when I hear "tap-tap-tap!" on my window! Sure enough, there's Nfriend! She "assumed" that I was available to go to lunch with her at the last minute. (What part of the word "NO" does she not understand?) Repeated the word "No" again. It appears that passive-aggressive N's deliberately act "dense" when things don't go the way they want to.
Bones
-
Dear Bones,
Something I learned about N's, which might help, is apparently N's have abandonment issues about as severe as they get. This usually means that overtly `rejecting' type of behavior will trigger their abandonment issues, cause intense fear, and the desire to pursue you (to make the pain go away). It sounds a bit like this `pursuit' is what is annoying you the most right now? I know that it would feel a bit like `stalking' to me, and I would not like it at all myself, but thats just me. I like to drift away in friendships when I need to, rather than be pursued.
Since you haven't said otherwise, I assume that you want to continue this friendship rather than end it?
If that is the case, do you think that perhaps there could be a way of wording your `rejections' so they don't trigger the N-friends abandonment issues so intensely? Perhaps you could offer a bit of gentle reassurance, such as rescheduling, or not being quite as `blunt'?.
I honestly found it easier to let go of my N-friends myself though, and that would be my best advice. But if is this not what you want, I hope my suggestions will help you
X Bella
-
Dear Bones,
For what it's worth (not much, I know) I just really don't feel that this woman is deliberately acting dense.
Her obliviousness feels like a pre-programmed response to any reality in which her desires are thwarted. In other words, she doesn't appear to connect with reality at any depth... stuck in her own head, so to speak.
For some time, I've wondered about Bella's question, too... I assume that you want to continue this friendship rather than end it?
Cuz if so, I wonder what toll this level of frustration may take on your own well-being, knowing that she will not change.
In my life, I've had to continue to interact with several folks who are pretty much stone walls when it comes to listening.
Drastically lowering my expectations of them and accepting that they're severely limited in relationship abilities is the only way I can manage that. The thing is, to continue focusing on their weaknesses makes those problems grow larger and larger in my sight, and pretty soon all I can see about them is the negative. So if I'm determined to remain in the relationship, I must also determine to drop that fault-observing habit and just allow them to be who they are. You know what I'm sayin?
Love to you,
Carolyn
-
Dear Bones,
Something I learned about N's, which might help, is apparently N's have abandonment issues about as severe as they get. This usually means that overtly `rejecting' type of behavior will trigger their abandonment issues, cause intense fear, and the desire to pursue you (to make the pain go away). It sounds a bit like this `pursuit' is what is annoying you the most right now? I know that it would feel a bit like `stalking' to me, and I would not like it at all myself, but thats just me. I like to drift away in friendships when I need to, rather than be pursued.
Since you haven't said otherwise, I assume that you want to continue this friendship rather than end it?
If that is the case, do you think that perhaps there could be a way of wording your `rejections' so they don't trigger the N-friends abandonment issues so intensely? Perhaps you could offer a bit of gentle reassurance, such as rescheduling, or not being quite as `blunt'?.
I honestly found it easier to let go of my N-friends myself though, and that would be my best advice. But if is this not what you want, I hope my suggestions will help you
X Bella
Thanks, Bella!
I really don't want to be around her anymore because I'm tired of explaining the obvious repeatedly to her. I've recently started getting blunt with her because she doesn't listen to anything else that doesn't "fit" in her own little world. She's now complaining that one of her sisters doesn't talk to her much anymore (ignoring the fact that she violated this sister's boundaries after repeated reminders not to do so). I've watched this sister attempt to gently explain that it's not polite to impose on the host and hostess of a party after she's been politely reminded that it's time to go home. (She chose to ignore everyone until the host finally had to get blunt with her after politely asking her to go home for three hours and she continued to ignore him.) Subtleties do not work with her. Explaining the obvious in detail does not work with her. I've dealt with her behavior for over 40 years and I'm done with the explanations when she insists on attempting to violate my schedule and violate my physical space by grabbing and snatching at things (i.e. my regalia). My patience is gone.
Bones
-
Dear Bones,
For what it's worth (not much, I know) I just really don't feel that this woman is deliberately acting dense.
Her obliviousness feels like a pre-programmed response to any reality in which her desires are thwarted. In other words, she doesn't appear to connect with reality at any depth... stuck in her own head, so to speak.
For some time, I've wondered about Bella's question, too... I assume that you want to continue this friendship rather than end it?
Cuz if so, I wonder what toll this level of frustration may take on your own well-being, knowing that she will not change.
In my life, I've had to continue to interact with several folks who are pretty much stone walls when it comes to listening.
Drastically lowering my expectations of them and accepting that they're severely limited in relationship abilities is the only way I can manage that. The thing is, to continue focusing on their weaknesses makes those problems grow larger and larger in my sight, and pretty soon all I can see about them is the negative. So if I'm determined to remain in the relationship, I must also determine to drop that fault-observing habit and just allow them to be who they are. You know what I'm sayin?
Love to you,
Carolyn
Thanks, Carolyn.
I've just mentioned to Bella that I really don't want to be around her anymore because she continues to attempt to violate my physical boundaries and my time boundaries. From my dealings with her, her attitude seems to be that the word "NO" does not exist in her little world. It's as if she is 50-something going on 6 because that is what she learned growing up. My feeling is that whenever her mother had to tell her "NO" to something, she would then start to dither until the "NO" magically changed into a "YES" and she gets what she wants the instant she wants it. That might have been cute when she was 6 years old. It's NOT cute at age 50-something and she does this with her work colleagues, her other family members, her husband and friends who have lives and responsibilities of their own. It's very annoying when she expects everyone else to instantaneously drop what they need to do for her convenience and continues to dither when the rest of us have to repeatedly tell her "NO" because we now have adult responsibilities to attend to. What REALLY gets me is her attitude that because I'm not officially/legally married I've got nothing to do, nowhere to go and ALL of my time is automatically owned by her and the concept of "NO" simply does not exist in her own little mind. Grrrrrrrrr!!!!!
Bones
-
Dear Bones,
Good luck with breaking up with your friend. It does sound like the best thing to do in this case.
X Bella
-
I understand now, Bones... and I know it's not easy to end a 40+ year relationship. So especially tough to do when the other person doesn't hear or understand... doesn't really even seem to see you.
(((((((((Bones))))))))) it's not even like you two grew apart....
more like you've outgrown her, it seems. Still, it's almost like she's a fixture in your life... more family than friend... so I can feel the sadness of it. Boggles my mind that a person can stumble through a lifetime like some of these folks do... it really does.
But then I did my own 40 years in the wilderness, so... all I can say is, if it weren't for Jesus, I'd still be goin around in circles - blind, deaf, and dumb. I guess praying for her is the very best thing we can do!
Love,
Carolyn
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Dear Bones,
Good luck with breaking up with your friend. It does sound like the best thing to do in this case.
X Bella
Thank you.
When she insists on trying to interfere with my job, she's gotta go.
Bones
-
I understand now, Bones... and I know it's not easy to end a 40+ year relationship. So especially tough to do when the other person doesn't hear or understand... doesn't really even seem to see you.
(((((((((Bones))))))))) it's not even like you two grew apart....
more like you've outgrown her, it seems. Still, it's almost like she's a fixture in your life... more family than friend... so I can feel the sadness of it. Boggles my mind that a person can stumble through a lifetime like some of these folks do... it really does.
But then I did my own 40 years in the wilderness, so... all I can say is, if it weren't for Jesus, I'd still be goin around in circles - blind, deaf, and dumb. I guess praying for her is the very best thing we can do!
Love,
Carolyn
Thanks, Carolyn!
I really feel sorry for her mother who is a helpless victim in all this because of her advanced Alzheimer's.
Bones
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Makes me wonder, Bones... how aware that sweet, elderly woman was of her daughter's issues throughout her life.
My grandma always made allowances for my aunt's idiosyncracies... and they had to be some very, very large allowances....
right up to the very end. Does this one have power of attorney over all of her mother's affairs?
-
Makes me wonder, Bones... how aware that sweet, elderly woman was of her daughter's issues throughout her life.
My grandma always made allowances for my aunt's idiosyncracies... and they had to be some very, very large allowances....
right up to the very end. Does this one have power of attorney over all of her mother's affairs?
I think another sister is acting as power of attorney as she handles her mother's money and has to be consulted regarding large decisions. I think she is also pissed off at her Nsister for violating her boundaries as well.
Bones
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Characteristics that I have been noticing about N's and people with N-traits:
(1) They think that what they want is automatically theirs, without any question.
(2) They think that what they assume is automatically true.
(3) They act, or are, completely oblivious to the damages they cause.
(4) They believe that the entire universe revolves around them.
(5) They believe that everything should be about them and what they want.
(Feel free to add more that I may have overlooked. Thanks!)
Bones
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N's can be late for appointments,but you can't
N's can insult you in the name of honesty,but cannot take any honesty(about them)
N's have little sense of humor
N's have great fear but instead of expresssing it directly, they decimate you when they see it in you
N's are waiting to "get you"i.e. prey
N's think that there ARE perfect people.
When a 'perfect" person shows a flaw--it is time to start looking for another perfect person
N's surround themselves with'lesser' people so they can appear "better"
N's are bullies,but Back down easily when you show strength
N's can not admit very basic human weaknesses
N's can't stand people who excel
That is a start Ami
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N's resent people who achieve what they covet.
N's ignore what doesn't "fit" in their little world.
N's can range on a continuum of either being passive-aggressive to being rage-a-holics when things don't go the way they demand.
N's cannot apologize or show remorse when they get "busted" or they attempt to "justify" their destructive acts.
(I'm drawing a blank for the rest.)
Bones
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N's ignore facts that don't "fit" their "world".
N's ignore boundaries after being told "NO" repeatedly.
N's continue to attempt to manipulate others to get what they want and ignore the impact on others.
(I'll probably think of more later.)
Bones
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And I get yet another e-mail, after I'm at work, from Nfriend informing me that her mother's nurse is taking the day off and asking if I'm available to elder-sit immediately?!?!?!? I simply deleted it without responding because I'm already at my job earning my paycheck!!!!!! Knowing the nurse, I know she gave doofus plenty of notice that she was taking the day off and doofus waits until literally the LAST second to make other arrangements because she "ASSUMES" that I'll instantly drop my other obligations and committments for her convenience!! Think again!!!!! My silence should be a resounding "NO" to that assumption!!!! I've stopped wasting my time, wasting my breath and wasting my energy explaining the obvious again!
Bones
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Does anyone know the band `garbage'? I've been listening to some of their songs this week on youtube, and I get the strange sense that Shirley Manson (the lead singer/song writer) has a lot fo experience with Narcissism. This song `stupid girl' and another song `Milk' are very beautiful and haunting, and the lyrtics, if you listen are all about a female narcissist, expressed so poetically. Not sure if its her POV or describing te bullies she grew up with though.
STUPID GIRL LYRICS:
You pretend youre high
You pretend youre bored
You pretend youre anything
Just to be adored
And what you need
Is what you get
Dont believe in fear
Dont believe in faith
Dont believe in anything
That you cant break
You stupid girl
You stupid girl
All you had you wasted
All you had you wasted
What drives you on what drives you on
Can drive you mad can drive you mad
A million lies to sell yourself
Is all you ever had
Dont believe in love
Dont believe in hate
Dont believe in anything
That you cant waste
You stupid girl
You stupid girl
Cant believe you fake it
Cant believe you fake it
Dont believe in fear
Dont believe in pain
Dont believe in anyone
That you cant tame
You stupid girl
You stupid girl
All you had you wasted
All you had you wasted
You stupid girl
You stupid girl
Cant believe you fake it
Cant believe you fake it
You stupid girl
You stupid girl
Cant believe you fake it
Cant believe you fake it
-
WOW-- Bell
What great lyrics.
-
Interesting......not familiar with the band.
In dealing with a passive-aggressive N, it's annoying to explain my obvious work schedule exactly one week before and she STILL ignored the information and continues to attempt to force her assumptions on me. When people have a committment to their boss to work their scheduled hours, in order to earn a paycheck, it's aggravating to deal with an N who assumes you are going to ditch your job for her convenience.
Bones
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Dear AMi,
Thank you! I should start a thread sometime, about N-victimization expressed in culture. A few bands have written extensively about it as N victims, such as Garbage, some of madonna's latest albums (ray of light especially), and a band called `dead can dance', which is very old (but the lyricist is still around- she did most of the music for the Gladiator soundtrack, with Russel Crowe). The lyrics make me shiver! I'd love to find more, because the music that accompanies the lyrics tends to be hauntingly beautiful. I like seeing art made from pain; theres a sublime beauty to it.
Dear Bones ,
Sorry for the sidetrack. I can understand your frustration; I agree that N's are totally disrespectful. Have you decided how you are going to approach ending the friendship? It sounds as though she hasn't got the message (although she will probably ignore THAT too for a while)
X Bella
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Dear AMi,
Thank you! I should start a thread sometime, about N-victimization expressed in culture. A few bands have written extensively about it as N victims, such as Garbage, some of madonna's latest albums (ray of light especially), and a band called `dead can dance', which is very old (but the lyricist is still around- she did most of the music for the Gladiator soundtrack, with Russel Crowe). The lyrics make me shiver! I'd love to find more, because the music that accompanies the lyrics tends to be hauntingly beautiful. I like seeing art made from pain; theres a sublime beauty to it.
Dear Bones ,
Sorry for the sidetrack. I can understand your frustration; I agree that N's are totally disrespectful. Have you decided how you are going to approach ending the friendship? It sounds as though she hasn't got the message (although she will probably ignore THAT too for a while)
X Bella
Thanks, Bella!
Right now, I don't want to communicate with her as I don't have the energy to keep covering the same ground repeatedly.
Bones
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Dear Bones; I can relate. Sometimes you just wish they'd give you some breathing space, huh? Its such a drain thinking of having to have a big confrontation, when all you want is a bit of respect. I think you've handled things so well though; you are an especially aware person!
Hugs to you,
X Bella
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Dear Bones; I can relate. Sometimes you just wish they'd give you some breathing space, huh? Its such a drain thinking of having to have a big confrontation, when all you want is a bit of respect. I think you've handled things so well though; you are an especially aware person!
Hugs to you,
X Bella
Thanks, Bella!
It's so tiring after attempting to communicate with an oblivious wall for several years. After what I've been observing with her for the past couple of months, it's put her conflicts with her other family members in a whole new light! (She attempts to portray herself as the "total innocent".)
Bones
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Another possible characteristic of an N:
If an N can't have what someone else has, the N will attempt to destroy it, (while having the mentality of: "If I can't have it, then NOBODY can have it!")
Bones
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It appears I'm going to have to end two relationships. I'm already distancing myself from the Nfriend that I have been discussing in this thread. Now it looks like I'm going to have to finally take the bull by the horns and give my boyfriend the boot as well. I started looking at a lot of stuff that has been going on in the past year and kept feeling like something is missing. Today, I had to drag it out of him that he has finally completed his Ph.D. (He didn't think it was important enough to tell me even though he claims to love me.) There's been a pattern of stuff going on for seven years and I think I've finally found the courage to use my voice and speak up to him about what is lacking between us because this "relationship" feels so empty. I just sent him an e-mail spelling out everything that has been bothering me for a long time.
Bones
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Some of the things I discussed in my e-mail to my boyfriend:
He comes into my home whether or not I am home (to take care of his birds) but I have not been able to set foot in his house for HOW LONG?!?!?!? (Now what is wrong with that picture?)
Any attempts to talk about anything that is important to us is met with: "I don't know".
Then there was the issue of his scheduling his dissertation stuff AFTER he had been given EIGHT MONTHS NOTICE about my graduation so that he did not attend or celebrate with me. The nonverbal message from him seems to say that my achieving a goal is not important enough to him to attend. (It's bad enough my Nrelatives ignored me whenever I achieved an educational milestone but THIS from someone who professes to "love" me?!?!?!?!?!?)
Bones
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Bonesy-
I am currently divorcing, not anything special and am not well-versed in anything at all...but I hate to read the hurt in your post, and simply must tell you that you are a unique and wonderful woman, capable of great love and compassion, and somewhere a wonderful man is looking for you. You sometimes "Must let the Demi-Gods depart so that the Gods may come in." I am not judging your BF, only responding to the hurt , longing and discontent that I sense in your feelings- these seem more than reasonable to me, though again, I claim not expertise in these matters. Maybe BF needs a good old fashioned consciousness raising, or you need to make some space for new suitors.
You will stay connected to the BF in the same way unless you make a change- it need not be acrimonious or a complete break- but you may not be receiving the love and respect that you need and deserve, and one can starve that way- this I do know by experience. Perhaps a simple act like changing your locks would spark a needed discussion leading to new clarity. If BF comes and goes at will, new admirers are not truly welcome there. If BF wants exclusivity, then there may well should be reciprocity as well (of course this is your choice- I am only throwing out some ideas)- and you should have a key to his home ASAP, as well as a key to his heart- access to his feelings and important events that a loved trusted one would know about.
You are a special, loving, and accomplished woman who deserves the love and companionship of a man who appreciates and adores you, and is dying to share his life and his self with you. You are the one to choose who he will be.
This can be scary stuff, I know. But your inner life and love deserves to be cherished and protected.
I know that you are starting a new job, so this may not be the time to violently change your private life as well- but it might be the perfect time, with plenty of distractions softening the ache of changes. Only you would know what is best for you. At any rate, you can begin to create the life you want for yourself, and stop draining your inner feeling and giving so much of yourself without getting what you need in return. This is not selfish or calculated- this is how love works, lovers delight in giving and receiving.
Please don't be perplexed or angry with me- I am not trying to tell you what to do so much as trying show you another side, another vantage point, where you can see the picture differently, and have an opportunity to see your options differently as well. I am responding from the heart, and may seem pushy, etc, but I can't help but feel that you deserve to have the happiness that you want. Life is so short.
Love and Peace,
Changing
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Dear Bones,
What hit me was that once you faced the "truth" about your friend,maybe you started facing the "truth" about your bf.
To me, if I cared for him and wanted a relationship with him, I would 'demand" more respect. Then,It will either get better or break up.
I learned a very,very important lesson with Maria. In ANY relationship,our own integrity comes first.
I think that we have to be WILLING to lose anyone in order to HAVE quality relationships. That is my lesson for today.(I have to start learning lessons fast since I had my head up my A## for so long) Love Ami
-
Bonesy-
I am currently divorcing, not anything special and am not well-versed in anything at all...but I hate to read the hurt in your post, and simply must tell you that you are a unique and wonderful woman, capable of great love and compassion, and somewhere a wonderful man is looking for you. You sometimes "Must let the Demi-Gods depart so that the Gods may come in." I am not judging your BF, only responding to the hurt , longing and discontent that I sense in your feelings- these seem more than reasonable to me, though again, I claim not expertise in these matters. Maybe BF needs a good old fashioned consciousness raising, or you need to make some space for new suitors.
You will stay connected to the BF in the same way unless you make a change- it need not be acrimonious or a complete break- but you may not be receiving the love and respect that you need and deserve, and one can starve that way- this I do know by experience. Perhaps a simple act like changing your locks would spark a needed discussion leading to new clarity. If BF comes and goes at will, new admirers are not truly welcome there. If BF wants exclusivity, then there may well should be reciprocity as well (of course this is your choice- I am only throwing out some ideas)- and you should have a key to his home ASAP, as well as a key to his heart- access to his feelings and important events that a loved trusted one would know about.
You are a special, loving, and accomplished woman who deserves the love and companionship of a man who appreciates and adores you, and is dying to share his life and his self with you. You are the one to choose who he will be.
This can be scary stuff, I know. But your inner life and love deserves to be cherished and protected.
I know that you are starting a new job, so this may not be the time to violently change your private life as well- but it might be the perfect time, with plenty of distractions softening the ache of changes. Only you would know what is best for you. At any rate, you can begin to create the life you want for yourself, and stop draining your inner feeling and giving so much of yourself without getting what you need in return. This is not selfish or calculated- this is how love works, lovers delight in giving and receiving.
Please don't be perplexed or angry with me- I am not trying to tell you what to do so much as trying show you another side, another vantage point, where you can see the picture differently, and have an opportunity to see your options differently as well. I am responding from the heart, and may seem pushy, etc, but I can't help but feel that you deserve to have the happiness that you want. Life is so short.
Love and Peace,
Changing
Thanks, Changng.
This is stuff I need to hear. It was a painful realization on Friday when it finally sunk in that I am "worth less" than his time. So much for "love".
Bones
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Dear Bones,
What hit me was that once you faced the "truth" about your friend,maybe you started facing the "truth" about your bf.
To me, if I cared for him and wanted a relationship with him, I would 'demand" more respect. Then,It will either get better or break up.
I learned a very,very important lesson with Maria. In ANY relationship,our own integrity comes first.
I think that we have to be WILLING to lose anyone in order to HAVE quality relationships. That is my lesson for today.(I have to start learning lessons fast since I had my head up my A## for so long) Love Ami
Thanks, Ami.
That feels right. Given that both of these relationships date back to our childhoods, it's taking a bit of an emotional toll. I can't help but wonder if he's acting like his Nfather (the role model he had growing up) and/or he wants me to be his substitute "mother" since his Nfather prevented him from ever developing a relationship with his mother and stepmothers. I don't think he knows what he wants and I've already told him that I CANNOT BE his mother! Also, if he's "playing both sides of the street", I'm not sticking around for THAT!
Bones
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Dear Bones,
My "advice" would be to "feel" out what is happening rather than talk about it. This is my current lesson in life , anyway.
I am realizing that someone can "tell" you something and not be telling you the truth(either knowingly or unknowingly) . However, your gut feelings will lead you right more times than not.
As my former cop b/c used to say,"I will trust my feelings.If I am wrong,I am wrong. However,it is my MOST reliable guide."He escaped danger and death many times ,so he should know--lol Love Ami
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Dear Bones,
My "advice" would be to "feel" out what is happening rather than talk about it. This is my current lesson in life , anyway.
I am realizing that someone can "tell" you something and not be telling you the truth(either knowingly or unknowingly) . However, your gut feelings will lead you right more times than not.
As my former cop b/c used to say,"I will trust my feelings.If I am wrong,I am wrong. However,it is my MOST reliable guide."He escaped danger and death many times ,so he should know--lol Love Ami
Thanks, Ami.
He's trying to make amends after he read my e-mails. He stopped by my job today, bringing me a can of green tea with peach. I'll be watching one day at a time.
Bones
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I think he's still trying. He called me from his office to try to figure out why I am unable to reach his extension when I dial his office number. He soon realized that, apparently, his extension can no longer be reached directly by an outside number. (His employer recently changed their phone system.) He's going to check further and let me know what he finds. (That's a start.)
Bones
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Dear Bones,
My thought (inside) would be ,"I am special. If a person wants a relationship with me that have to act in certain ways that I value(respect,honesty, consideration etc). If they don't want(or can't) do it, then they are gone".Who said the profound words,"Prick me, I am done,?"
I got to this place with my M( who is EXACTLY like your friend). I am DONE Ami
PS---- You are right to be in" Waiting "mode for right now, Bones,(IMO)
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Dear Bones,
My thought (inside) would be ,"I am special. If a person wants a relationship with me that have to act in certain ways that I value(respect,honesty, consideration etc). If they don't want(or can't) do it, then they are gone".Who said the profound words,"Prick me, I am done,?"
I got to this place with my M( who is EXACTLY like your friend). I am DONE Ami
PS---- You are right to be in" Waiting "mode for right now, Bones,(IMO)
Thanks, Ami.
Also, the Nfriend that's been acting the doofus sends me another e-mail today asking me if I want to buy a used car from her other friend (who happens to be a FLAMING N!) I have not responded to that e-mail. I don't want to waste the energy to type on the keyboard to her "H@#$ NO!!!!!!"
Bones
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It took you long enough(lol).but you learned, Right Bones? Love Ami
-
It took you long enough(lol).but you learned, Right Bones? Love Ami
Thanks, Ami.
I told boyfriend if he's interested in the car, he can have as I don't want anything to do with it. I don't care to have any dealings with the flaming N any more than I want to deal with Ndoofus.
Bones
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To give an example of what the Flaming N has done....years ago, she had been engaged to be married. Her future sister-in-law became ill with leukemia. Her fiance', who was very close to his sister, asked the Flaming N to donate blood to help save her life. (Apparently, she was a match.) The Flaming N refused. Her future sister-in-law died and her fiance' broke off the engagement. (The Flaming N is not dating anyone now.) Given her attitude, I want no connection with her at all.
Bones
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Bonesy, Good For You!!!
You are no one to trifle with, and life is too short for Doofusses (?) and Flaming Ns!!!
Love,
Changing
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Bonesy, Good For You!!!
You are no one to trifle with, and life is too short for Doofusses (?) and Flaming Ns!!!
Love,
Changing
Thanks, Changing!
Bones
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I don't think I will EVER understand Ns.
Bones
-
Maybe, eventually, Ndoofus will get the message.
Bones
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I saw something on TV, Tuesday afternoon, that just CHILLED me to the bone!!!! This Nmother was one of the WORST I had ever seen and I cannot even call her a mother. She was more of a MONSTER! She blithely admitted to sexually abusing her own 5-year-old daughter and also attempted to sell her child's body as part of child pornography. (This woman has been sentenced to 9 to 20 years for what she did to her child.) At one point, during the interview, the interviewer asked her: "If your daughter were standing in front of you, right now, what would you say to her about what you did?" This cold-faced monster replied: "Nothing. I'M THE VICTIM HERE BECAUSE THE POLICE ARE HOMEWRECKERS!" (She made me feel physically ill!)
Bones
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The poor child- I hope she has a relative that loves her, instead of going into foster care. She deserves a break in life.
-
The poor child- I hope she has a relative that loves her, instead of going into foster care. She deserves a break in life.
I'm hoping that child is in a safe and loving home and I'm also hoping that the N-Monster rots in @#$!
Bones
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After working a late shift last night and not getting home from work until the wee hours this morning, I managed to sleep until noon. Shortly after I got up and started getting ready to head back to work, etc., my phone rings. GUESS WHO?????? NDOOFUS!!!! "Oh-h-h-h-h-h-h!!!! I assumed........." and continued to blather mindlessly. Kept telling her "No" to whatever. She finally got the message that I did not want to talk and hung up. Sheesh!!!!
Bones
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NDoofus claims she misses me.
I don't!
Bones
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Hi Bones.
Something I observed during the yard sale that really has me puzzled. At one point, while Nfriend was sitting with a plate of food in her lap, a yellow jacket started buzzing around her. Having been stung by yellow jackets myself, I didn't want to see anyone else stung. Those little buggers are NASTY!!! I commented that there was a yellow jacket hovering around her plate of food. Any other person with half a brain would have looked at the plate to notice the wasp. Nfriend gives me the glassy-eyed stare and goes: "Huh? Wha...???" then looks everywhere else EXCEPT down at her plate of food where the yellow jacket is sitting!!!!! Completely oblivious!!!!! All I could do was shake my head and figure: "Idiot! If you want to get stung, go ahead and be my guest! I've done my duty!"
Bones
Oh my gosh this is my N sister too. It's amazing how alike they are sometimes.
Your thread is for inspiring. Wishing you a future of peace from your N's. seasons
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Hi Bones.
Something I observed during the yard sale that really has me puzzled. At one point, while Nfriend was sitting with a plate of food in her lap, a yellow jacket started buzzing around her. Having been stung by yellow jackets myself, I didn't want to see anyone else stung. Those little buggers are NASTY!!! I commented that there was a yellow jacket hovering around her plate of food. Any other person with half a brain would have looked at the plate to notice the wasp. Nfriend gives me the glassy-eyed stare and goes: "Huh? Wha...???" then looks everywhere else EXCEPT down at her plate of food where the yellow jacket is sitting!!!!! Completely oblivious!!!!! All I could do was shake my head and figure: "Idiot! If you want to get stung, go ahead and be my guest! I've done my duty!"
Bones
Oh my gosh this is my N sister too. It's amazing how alike they are sometimes.
Your thread is for inspiring. Wishing you a future of peace from your N's. seasons
Thanks, Seasons.
I was half-way expecting NDoofus to do a repeat performance of last year, waiting til the last minute to announce an invitation to a Halloween party. I made myself even more scarce so she would get the message that "No means NO"! After last year's mess, I didn't want anything to do with a repeat performance!
Bones
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Just had a thought in connection with my job and realized that I have encountered a few Ns calling the Hotline for whatever.
If any Ns you know threaten to call Child Protective Services on you if you refuse to do as they dictate, there's a good chance that the call will go nowhere. A few weeks ago, I received a call demanding that CPS investigate someone. Because it was after the daytime office had closed, the calls I receive are supposed to be for emergencies only. I took down the caller's name, caller's phone number, the name of the child involved, the age/birthdate of the child, then.....things got really WIERD!!!!
When I asked for the address of where the child lives, which CPS has to have in order to be able to investigate, the caller responds: "He's somewhere in (large city), it's YOUR job to find him!" (The thought that hit my brain was "What the F?!?") I explained that CPS does not have the resources to search every home in (large city) to find this child. That's when this caller started SCREAMING at me: "He's being EDUCATIONALLY neglected and I DEMAND that you DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS IMMEDIATELY!!!!!" (By this point, I'm thinking to myself: "Oh @#$! I'm dealing with a FLAMING N on this call!") I tried to politely and calmly explain that CPS does not have the resources to (a) search (large city) to locate a child at an unknown address and (b) investigate educational issues. Suggested she contact either the child's school or the county board of education. She screamed louder and DEMANDED to speak with my supervisor. (As it happened, I turned on the speaker feature of my phone and my supervisor heard for himself the way she was acting while listening to what I was saying.) My supervisor indicated to me to transfer to call to him and he proceeded to explain what CPS can do and what CPS can't do. I could tell from his reactions that she was screaming orders and demands at him! When she couldn't get the answers she wanted from my supervisor, she hung up on him.
Sheesh!!!
Bones
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Just got another email from NDoofus and realized that she still has a couple of my DVDs that I need to get back from her. It also just occurred to me, with the holidays coming up, I'm halfway expect to get "flooded" with e-mails and phone calls from her while she dithers around. I guess I'll have to deal with the situation one day at a time until the holidays are over.
Bones
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Dear Bones,
Your relationship with NDoofus has been very illuminating for me.She is a classic example of how an N relationship works.
I bet that you learned a lot from her, too., even though it was a painful learning experience.I bet that you are wiser in choosing friends,now. Am I right?
I guess that I am trying to put a good 'spin" on it.However, may you have no more N learning experiences is my "prayer" for you, Bones Love Ami
(((((((((((((((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))))))))))
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Dear Bones,
Your relationship with NDoofus has been very illuminating for me.She is a classic example of how an N relationship works.
I bet that you learned a lot from her, too., even though it was a painful learning experience.I bet that you are wiser in choosing friends,now. Am I right?
I guess that I am trying to put a good 'spin" on it.However, may you have no more N learning experiences is my "prayer" for you, Bones Love Ami
(((((((((((((((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))))))))))
Thanks, Ami.
I have to take into account that NDoofus and I originally became friends when we were both sophomores in high school....over 40 years ago. At that time, narcissism was not that well known and how many high school kids would understand it, even then?
Bones
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Hi Bones,
I keep wondering if Ndoofus perhaps is limited by some other problem than Nism.
So many of her responses seem uncomprehending ... different from that dark selfishness.
I get the sense sometimes that the social cues you're trying to emit don't even register, not that she's intentionally driving over the boundaries, but she might have defective radar for boundaries.
Does that compute?
Hops
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Hi Bones,
I keep wondering if Ndoofus perhaps is limited by some other problem than Nism.
So many of her responses seem uncomprehending ... different from that dark selfishness.
I get the sense sometimes that the social cues you're trying to emit don't even register, not that she's intentionally driving over the boundaries, but she might have defective radar for boundaries.
Does that compute?
Hops
I know she does not have brain damage as she has behaved this way as long as I've known her. I've witnessed her "dark side" with the way she's acted toward other people's children. The most telling was during the flight home and a 2-year-old started to cry because he was tired, uncomfortable and it was W-A-A-Y past his bedtime. Her response? "That kid needs to shut the F@#% up!"
Bones
-
Yikes.
That IS dark.
Don't blame you for tiring of this person, Bones...
Hops
-
Yikes.
That IS dark.
Don't blame you for tiring of this person, Bones...
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
One of the other things that she has done that irks me is that she even refuses to refer to her only nephew by his name. She has complained about how "the kid" has interfered with things SHE wants to do. For an example, she called her sister, at the usual last minute, wanting her to do something and the sister told her "Sorry, no, I have an appointment to meet with my son's teachers during Back to School Nite". Then NDoofus complains to me about that later. She actually expects her sister to put her child's needs on the back-burner for HER convenience! Sheesh!
Bones
-
The n I am married to negates others to the point that it is not even a thought that he is violating anyone's boundaries. It's just what he does and who he is, so controlling and dominant there is no choice for the other person as far as he is concerned. A denial of other's feelings and needs. His actions make that obvious. He has mastered only being involved with people and places that he can control to serve his purpose.
When the nh is confronted by someone with boundaries, he writes them off. Which would be anyone who would slight his ego or control.
As my boundaries get stronger with recovery the nh can no longer violate them nor do my boundaries collapse. In the past I was not strong enough to enforce my boundaries. His n behaviors don't work on me any more.
Now I can see how he operates and how others participate.
It used to be me. Getting stronger has separated me from many people in my family and I am finding wonderful people to enjoy life with, not just try to survive the pain.
Thanks, BR
-
The n I am married to negates others to the point that it is not even a thought that he is violating anyone's boundaries. It's just what he does and who he is, so controlling and dominant there is no choice for the other person as far as he is concerned. A denial of other's feelings and needs. His actions make that obvious. He has mastered only being involved with people and places that he can control to serve his purpose.
When the nh is confronted by someone with boundaries, he writes them off. Which would be anyone who would slight his ego or control.
As my boundaries get stronger with recovery the nh can no longer violate them nor do my boundaries collapse. In the past I was not strong enough to enforce my boundaries. His n behaviors don't work on me any more.
Now I can see how he operates and how others participate.
It used to be me. Getting stronger has separated me from many people in my family and I am finding wonderful people to enjoy life with, not just try to survive the pain.
Thanks, BR
Thank you, BR.
Isn't it interesting that the Ns in our lives seem to go from one extreme of either attempting to force their way past your boundaries or completely writing you off if you DARE refuse to knuckle under to their "royal" control! Either extreme is dysfunctional, to say the least. They have no clue how to function in a healthy manner.
Bones
-
Bonesey and BR-
Oh goodness you have told the creepy and nauseating truth- It is like the Night of the Living Dead- they come out to pillage and feast upon your living flesh, relentless and unfeeling, inhuman and uncaring- then they retreat to their hidden gravesites!! Yecch!
Love,
Changing
-
That sounds about right!
This morning, I had to get up early to prepare to attend CERT training. Before I headed out, I checked my e-mail and what do I find? ANOTHER e-mail from NDoofus ASSUMING that I had nothing to do, nowhere to go and she was going to "drop in". NOWHERE does she ask me anything! I wrote back a very succint answer:
"I AM NOT AVAILABLE!"
Bones
-
Hi Bones,
ANOTHER e-mail from NDoofus ASSUMING that I had nothing to do, nowhere to go and she was going to "drop in". NOWHERE does she ask me anything! I wrote back a very succint answer:
"I AM NOT AVAILABLE!"
Boness,[/u]
How long did it take you to speak up for yourself? I have never said, "I AM NOT AVAILABLE!" It sounds beautiful for the soul.
May your path lead you to love and joy. seasons
-
I've been saying it for a long time and now the volume is getting LOUDER. She just sent me another e-mail assuming I have a coupon that I'm going to give her. (Not even asking "May I have it?") My response: "I need my DVDs back and I don't have the coupon."
Bones
-
Dear Bones,
Look at it this way--- you are so much better now than when she went to your graduation with you and when you had your travelogues.
You can identify N behavior much better and you are standing up for yourself.
I see that your situations with her show that you are very different than before . Love Ami
-
Dear Bones,
Look at it this way--- you are so much better now than when she went to your graduation with you and when you had your travelogues.
You can identify N behavior much better and you are standing up for yourself.
I see that your situations with her show that you are very different than before . Love Ami
Thanks, Ami!
That trip to Minnesota was definitely a wake-up call!
Bones
-
One of the other things I'm shaking my head about is that recently I've been seeing on the news about a certain NPD person attempting to manipulate the media to feel sorry for her. Watching this pathetic "act" made me look at the criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder in the DSM. The more I read, the more it seems to fit!
Bones
-
i think that we could coin a phrase to describe N's---- Emotional Bull in China Shop.. Do you agree? Ami
-
i think that we could coin a phrase to describe N's---- Emotional Bull in China Shop.. Do you agree? Ami
I agree! And today, when I received my copy of the TV Guide, I find ANOTHER article about this NPD individual. Part of me knows she's a sick chick and, at the same time, her manipulative ploys are now making me MAD! :x I wish she could just grow up and shut up! Unfortunately, she is capable of neither! Her soon-to-be ex-husband could probably benefit from our experience in dealing with Nspouses and Nex-spouses.
Bones
-
I'm still encountering more media about this ongoing situation. I'm sure it's painful for the soon-to-be ex-husband. My other concern is that when their daughter is 12 years old, she's going to be encountering some of the backlash, especially when her Nmom continues her tirade, which we all know from experience, Nmoms will do!
Bones
-
I think everyone will be relieved once the divorce part is settled but....knowing Ns the way we do, her terrorist tactics will NEVER stop!!!!
Bones
-
I just received a polite e-mail from NDoofus. Given that I still need to get my DVD back from her, I'm still mulling it over.
Bones
-
Hi Bonesy-
Can you buy another CD? You know how NDoofus is when she worms her way back in your good graces...It may be worth the price of the CD to keep clear!
In any case, I hope you have a lovely Saturday!
Love, Changing
-
Hi Bonesy-
Can you but another CD? You know how NDoofus is when she worms her way back in your good graces...It may be worth the price of the CD to keep clear!
In any case, I hope you have a lovely Saturday!
Love, Changing
Thanks, Changing!
Given my finances, that would not be feasible. She also loaned me a videotape before all the !@# hit the fan and I want to give that back to her.
Bones
-
Bonesy-
I guess you and I are doing the same thing then, out of neccessity- dealing with material exchamges with Ns- BLEEH!!!!
Love,
Changing
-
Bonesy-
I guess you and I are doing the same thing then, out of neccessity- dealing with material exchamges with Ns- BLEEH!!!!
Love,
Changing
Exactly!!!!!!!!
Bones
-
Yesterday, I sent an e-mail asking her to return my DVD as I was available that particular day. I purposely did NOT tell her my schedule as I feel she does NOT need to know what I do every second of my day/week/month/year. Got no response. Not surprised.
Bones
-
Same stuff happening here-
NH Bagworm has also not responded with a list or confirmation of appointment for the item pick up stipulated at the hearing. Showed up one night after the designated date last week, and I sent him away- hope he stays home this time , and makes the excruciating effort to conform with legal strictures this time!!!
Love,
Changing
-
Same stuff happening here-
NH Bagworm has also not responded with a list or confirmation of appointment for the item pick up stipulated at the hearing. Showed up one night after the designated date last week, and I sent him away- hope he stays home this time , and makes the excruciating effort to conform with legal strictures this time!!!
Love,
Changing
NH Bagworm sounds like a piece of work! If he's dumb enough to ignore the legal strictures, I hope his gluteus maximus lands in jail!
NDoofus finally sent an e-mail tonight stating: "Sorry I missed you. Let me know your schedule." Ugh! I'm going to wait until the next time I have a day off and then respond.
Bones
-
HMMM- maybe we could introduce them , they could become a couple, they would leave us alone to our own individual pursuits, and drive each other crazy instead????
Love,
Changing
-
Not sure if I want to hurt the husband of NDoofus. He's suffering enough as it is without adding Bagworm to the mix! UGH!
Bones
-
Ohhh- I'm sorry, didn't realize she was married :oops:
Well if she weren't I couldn't think of anyone who deserves him more! I'll just have to hatch another hare-brained scheme, that's all Bonesy!
Best of Luck Tonight and Getting Your CD Back!
Love,
Changing
-
Ohhh- I'm sorry, didn't realize she was married :oops:
Well if she weren't I couldn't think of anyone who deserves him more! I'll just have to hatch another hare-brained scheme, that's all Bonesy!
Best of Luck Tonight and Getting Your CD Back!
Love,
Changing
Thanks, Changing!
This first week is going to be hectic in getting the intakes done, conducting any assessments that are needed, etc.
Bones
-
Hope your back to work week goes smoothly, Bones.
Enjoy your professionalism and competence and don't worry about glitches!
hugs
Hops
-
Hope your back to work week goes smoothly, Bones.
Enjoy your professionalism and competence and don't worry about glitches!
hugs
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
I'm still learning how to juggle all my new responsibilities!
Bones
-
Hi MS Bonesy!
I am just thinking about you and your work tonight. All of your hard work is paying off- for you and for the people you are helping! Hope you have a rewarding night, and don't sweat the small stuff!!!
Love,
Changing
-
Hi MS Bonesy!
I am just thinking about you and your work tonight. All of your hard work is paying off- for you and for the people you are helping! Hope you have a rewarding night, and don't sweat the small stuff!!!
Love,
Changing
Thanks, Changing! I'm hoping tonight won't be as hectic.
Bones
-
With Christmas approaching, I have a lot of thoughts going through my head about what to do if.........
Bones
-
I'm realizing that the holidays bring all the Ns out of the woodwork and I'm dreading it!
Bones
-
Stay in the woodwork, your own cozy hole.
Fill it with nice soft sawdust and interesting DVDs.
Avoid shopping malls.
Wear earplugs.
Light a candle.
Make a gingerbread Amazon.
xo
Hops
-
Stay in the woodwork, your own cozy hole.
Fill it with nice soft sawdust and interesting DVDs.
Avoid shopping malls.
Wear earplugs.
Light a candle.
Make a gingerbread Amazon.
xo
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
I asked boyfriend for some interesting DVDs for Christmas!
Bones
-
I gave him a few interesting items from my Christmas wish list. I wonder what he will do with it.
Bones
-
So far, so good, NDoofus hasn't bugged me yet.
Bones
-
You sure have a platefull, Bones.
Hope you have a wonderful week.
Hops
-
You sure have a platefull, Bones.
Hope you have a wonderful week.
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
You're right!!! I'm basically on the go every day this week!
Bones
-
I'm working the Hotline tonight and I'm hoping that things are a little quieter tonight. So far, NDoofus has not bothered me and I don't have the time for her nonsense anyway.
Bones
-
So far, so good. However, I still have the dilemma of getting her stuff back to her. I haven't had the time to discuss anything with her.
Bones
-
Ditto
-
Hi Bonesy-
Maybe you can set up an exchange with NDoofus- you get your stuff, she gets yours. Have a friend there with you (don't tell NDoofus this beforehand) and plans for directly afterward, be polite with NDoofus and then after the items ae exchanged- SPLIT!
Love,
Changing
-
Hi Bones,
Can't imagine for one moment that you have any time for boredom?! :)
Take care of yourself.
Love, Leah
-
Hi Bonesy-
Maybe you can set up an exchange with NDoofus- you get your stuff, she gets yours. Have a friend there with you (don't tell NDoofus this beforehand) and plans for directly afterward, be polite with NDoofus and then after the items ae exchanged- SPLIT!
Love,
Changing
Thanks, Changing!
Right now, I don't even have the time to do that!
Bones
-
Hi Bones,
Can't imagine for one moment that you have any time for boredom?! :)
Take care of yourself.
Love, Leah
Thanks, Leah!
I haven't even had the time to do Christmas cards, let alone Christmas shopping. I got only one present for boyfriend.
Bones
-
Dear Bones,
Truly, I'm not surprised that you have not had any spare time to do Christmas cards, and Christmas shopping.
Here's hoping that you manage to obtain what you are looking for, in one swoop, for your dear boyfriend!
Bin the stress!
Love, Leah
-
Dear Bones,
Truly, I'm not surprised that you have not had any spare time to do Christmas cards, and Christmas shopping.
Here's hoping that you manage to obtain what you are looking for, in one swoop, for your dear boyfriend!
Bin the stress!
Love, Leah
Thanks, Leah.
I just got home from work a little while ago and trying to unwind enough to go to sleep.
Bones
-
I'm taking it easy tonight because I picked up a viral infection from somewhere. Between working, shopping, participating in volunteer activities, etc., the inevitable exposure to the common cold or possibly flu has finally happened.
Bones
-
I'm taking it easy tonight because I picked up a viral infection from somewhere. Between working, shopping, participating in volunteer activities, etc., the inevitable exposure to the common cold or possibly flu has finally happened.
Bones
Dear (((( Bones ))))
All too inevitable when mixing with so many people, and invariably each year, around this time, I end up being hit with a cold or flu.
Take good care of yourself.
Love, Leah
-
I'm taking it easy tonight because I picked up a viral infection from somewhere. Between working, shopping, participating in volunteer activities, etc., the inevitable exposure to the common cold or possibly flu has finally happened.
Bones
Dear (((( Bones ))))
All too inevitable when mixing with so many people, and invariably each year, around this time, I end up being hit with a cold or flu.
Take good care of yourself.
Love, Leah
Thanks, Leah.
Bones
-
I have to go back to work tonight given that I can't stay home sick for too long. (I don't get sick leave.) I'm resting as much as possible.
One thing I noticed, when I was working Sunday night, quite a few of the clients seem to have N tendencies. I had the clients settled down, (or so I thought) and was writing case notes when one of the clients walked up behind me and peered over my shoulder. I was so startled that I almost hit him reflexively. He demanded to know what I was doing and what I was writing. My response: "I BEG YOUR PARDON?!?!?!? GET TO BED!!!!"
Bones
-
I have to go back to work tonight given that I can't stay home sick for too long. (I don't get sick leave.) I'm resting as much as possible.
One thing I noticed, when I was working Sunday night, quite a few of the clients seem to have N tendencies. I had the clients settled down, (or so Ithought) and was writing case notes when one of the clients walked up behind me and peered over my shoulder. I was so startled that I almost hit him reflexively. He demanded to know what I was doing and what I was writing. My response: "I BEG YOUR PARDON?!?!?!? GET TO BED!!!!"
Bones
Dear Bones,
Was about to write and ask how you were today. It's hard when you don't have sick leave, but, you are wisely resting as much as possible, and that's about all you can do.
Do hope you have a relatively 'easy' night with no hassles.
Well Done You!!! You handled Sunday night's situation wonderfully.
:) Smiling because i am picturing you acting reflexively, understandably .
One thing I do find most uncomfortable is someone standing over my shoulder.
All the best tonight. Take care of you.
Love, Leah
-
I have to go back to work tonight given that I can't stay home sick for too long. (I don't get sick leave.) I'm resting as much as possible.
One thing I noticed, when I was working Sunday night, quite a few of the clients seem to have N tendencies. I had the clients settled down, (or so I thought) and was writing case notes when one of the clients walked up behind me and peered over my shoulder. I was so startled that I almost hit him reflexively. He demanded to know what I was doing and what I was writing. My response: "I BEG YOUR PARDON?!?!?!? GET TO BED!!!!"
Bones
Dear Bones,
Was about to write and ask how you were today. It's hard when you don't have sick leave, but, you are wisely resting as much as possible, and that's about all you can do.
Do hope you have a relatively 'easy' night with no hassles.
Well Done You!!! You handled Sunday night's situation wonderfully.
:) Smiling because i am picturing you acting reflexively, understandably .
One thing I do find most uncomfortable is someone standing over my shoulder.
All the best tonight. Take care of you.
Love, Leah
Thanks, Leah!
I was ticked that this client attempted to poke his nose where it clearly did NOT belong! Some of the clients I encounter seem to have this attitude of "I'M ENTITLED!" Sheesh!
Bones
-
I just learned that one of the worst clients we had last year is attempting to return this year. God help us!
Bones
-
The more I work with the current group of clients, the more I realize that it appears to be N-ish to violate other people's boundaries. (Most of this group also has a problem with any kind of authority.)
Bones
-
I previously mentioned about the worst client from last year. A situation took place Thursday evening where a business called, about this particular individual, who was actually TRESPASSING and INSISTED that this business' bathroom NOW BELONGED TO HER!!!! These poor business people had no clue what to do about her or what to think! I advised these business people to do what anyone would do with a trespasser who refused to leave......CALL THE COPS!!!!
Bones
-
I wish we had safe, well-run halfway houses for the mentally ill...
so many homeless just need a clean place with some counselors around
and a Dr. to oversee Rx.
So sad to see them sitting on cold bricks downtown, defeat all over their faces.
What a failure.
Hops
-
In my city there has been a huge effort to build and provide nice housing and services on Skid Row. It has changed immeasurably. However the extremely mentally ill are falling through the cracks due to the many issues in the law, etc. This is heartbreaking to see, and we have to stop discounting them as human beings- but I cannot see how to fix things...We are blessed by the MS Bones in this world...
-
I wish we had safe, well-run halfway houses for the mentally ill...
so many homeless just need a clean place with some counselors around
and a Dr. to oversee Rx.
So sad to see them sitting on cold bricks downtown, defeat all over their faces.
What a failure.
Hops
I wish there was a better system to address this need.
Bones
-
In my city there has been a huge effort to build and provide nice housing and services on Skid Row. It has changed immeasurably. However the extremely mentally ill are falling through the cracks due to the many issues in the law, etc. This is heartbreaking to see, and we have to stop discounting them as human beings- but I cannot see how to fix things...We are blessed by the MS Bones in this world...
Thanks, Changing.
Bones
-
BTW, NDoofus sent me an email. I haven't responded yet as I don't have the energy to deal with her. I'm trying to focus on doing what the doctor advises until I can get an appointment.
Bones
-
NDoofus has YET to ask me WHY I have backed away from her.
Bones
-
NDoofus has YET to ask me WHY I have backed away from her.
Bones
I think they don't want to know why, just where is MY supply.
Hope your feeling better soon after much rest and care. seasons
-
THAT is a good point, Seasons. Love Ami
-
NDoofus has YET to ask me WHY I have backed away from her.
Bones
I think they don't want to know why, just where is MY supply.
Hope your feeling better soon after much rest and care. seasons
Thanks, Seasons.
Bones
-
NDoofus continues to send me e-mails with non-sequitors. She STILL doesn't get it!
Bones
-
I'm still wondering how I'm going to handle Christmas given that I have not been feeling well for over two weeks.
Bones
-
Dear Bones,
I truly believe that you can handle Christmas by not handling it.
Just set it over where people who are eager for it can have it.
You can give yourself a gift...of doing nothing.
Letting the holiday pass by...
You can tell BF you want to do your own special New Year,
but no Christmas on that exact date. You need to rest.
Work for you?
Hops
-
Dear Bones,
I truly believe that you can handle Christmas by not handling it.
Just set it over where people who are eager for it can have it.
You can give yourself a gift...of doing nothing.
Letting the holiday pass by...
You can tell BF you want to do your own special New Year,
but no Christmas on that exact date. You need to rest.
Work for you?
Hops
With this bronchitis, I don't have any energy for anything.
Bones
-
Well, NDoofus called me today stating that she was going to "drop off Christmas presents". Whatever. :roll: She heard my coughing and wheezing and wanted to know what was going on. I told her I have bronchitis. Her response? "Well, I HAVE LARYNGITIS!" (which the sound, tone and quality of her voice said "NOT!") I didn't have enough voice to argue. All I could wheeze out was: "Whatever."
A short time later, she buzzes my security code and says: "Come upstairs to the door" to which I reminded her, AGAIN, I have BRONCHITIS and told her that I'm buzzing her in and come to my door! (No way was I going upstairs where it is cold, damp and drafty for HER convenience!) She was clearly NOT happy that I said NO to her demands. She hands me a paper bag, with a "Merry Christmas" and I gave her back her video. She left very quickly. Inside the paper bag? Unwrapped boxes of crackers, cream cheese, chutney, sparkling cider and cough drops. I'm not sure WHAT to make of THAT!
Bones
-
I just don't understand people like NDoofus.
Bones
-
Dear Bones,
I will give you my opinion on N Doofus(my mother????). They are not connected to their emotions. They do not have "normal" selfishness.
Their problem is that they are NOT selfish enough. Therefore, they are pathologically selfish. They are not nornally intuitive, so they are "off"
They cannot "feel" their own emotions, so they are "off" with other people.
As I heal, I understand more and more where my M was coming from. I just wish that I could heal faster---bleh.
Hope you feel better Bones. N doofus can't help it(IMO), but you may not want her for a bosom buddy(lol). No more trips, Bonsie!
Love Ami
-
Dear Bones,
I will give you my opinion on N Doofus(my mother????). They are not connected to their emotions. They do not have "normal" selfishness.
Their problem is that they are NOT selfish enough. Therefore, they are pathologically selfish. They are not nornally intuitive, so they are "off"
They cannot "feel" their own emotions, so they are "off" with other people.
As I heal, I understand more and more where my M was coming from. I just wish that I could heal faster---bleh.
Hope you feel better Bones. N doofus can't help it(IMO), but you may not want her for a bosom buddy(lol). No more trips, Bonsie!
Love Ami
Thanks, Ami.
I don't plan to taking any more trips with her.
It just ticked me off when she called me yesterday, announcing that she was "dropping in" instead of asking whether or not this was a good time to visit and completely discounted my bronchitis while claiming she had laryngitis, which she clearly did NOT have! Grrrrrrr!!!!!
Bones
-
Plus bringing unwrapped "presents" in a grocery bag. I halfway expected her to do the same thing several years ago where she handed me two boxes of detergent, with the price stickers on them, chirping "Merry Christmas" after she completely SCREWED UP MY SCHEDULE as I was preparing for oral surgery the next day. (She had called me at 9:00 AM that morning and asked me not to go anywhere as she was on her way over to bring me Christmas presents. She did NOT show up until 9:00 PM THAT NIGHT!) When I yelled at her about messing up what I needed to get done to prepare for my surgery, all I got (as usual) was the glassy-eyed blank stare. (It made me even angrier knowing that I had been EXPLAINING THE OBVIOUS about the upcoming surgery, for several days, and what I needed to get done to prepare for it and she completely discounted it and ignored it for her own convenience!)
Bones
-
Plus bringing unwrapped "presents" in a grocery bag. I halfway expected her to do the same thing several years ago where she handed me two boxes of detergent, with the price stickers on them, chirping "Merry Christmas" after she completely SCREWED UP MY SCHEDULE as I was preparing for oral surgery the next day. (She had called me at 9:00 AM that morning and asked me not to go anywhere as she was on her way over to bring me Christmas presents. She did NOT show up until 9:00 PM THAT NIGHT!) When I yelled at her about messing up what I needed to get done to prepare for my surgery, all I got (as usual) was the glassy-eyed blank stare. (It made me even angrier knowing that I had been EXPLAINING THE OBVIOUS about the upcoming surgery, for several days, and what I needed to get done to prepare for it and she completely discounted it and ignored it for her own convenience!)
Bones
Dear Bones,
N Doofus IS my M. My M has left people waiting at the subway station for hours and then doesn't understand what is wrong with THEM, when they don't "like" her anymore.
She says heartless comments to people and blames THEM when they get angry. She says that "they" just can't take honesty.
N's and presents is a whole other story. I have had so many presents that my M gave me and then 'took back". The N's gift giving "sensitivity" is the stuff that jokes are made of. We had a thead about it once.It would be fun to start a new one.
I think that the glassy eyed look is from their lack of connection to their emotions---pure and simple. They are not "there---all the way.
I can feel that "glassy eyed" look in myself--bleh. I hate it,but I do feel it. I feel it around woman( and in "threatening" or painful situations). It is getting a little better. I think that it is a dissociation. It is a 'leaving" of the present b/c we can't cope.
I am facing it in myself and I "feel" like my M,often. I hate it,but it is true ,so I must face it.
Your friend(?) acts weird b/c she is NOT in the present(IMO). She can't help it,I don't think. She is running on her own private gerbil wheel,inside her head. That is how I see it,Bones, as I struggle to heal. Hope that you are feeling better, friend. Love Ami
-
Thanks, Ami.
NDoofus just sent me another e-mail today asking what I needed from the grocery store as she is going shopping. (I wasn't expecting that.) I told her that I'm going back to work tonight so I won't be home for her to drop by.
Bones
-
And I'm still getting e-mails from her.
Bones
-
And I'm still keeping my distance from her, especially since I'm still not feeling well from fighting bronchitis.
Bones
-
And she keeps sending me e-mails asking what groceries to get for me. I haven't responded.
Bones
-
I just need some space to try to figure out where do I go from here.
Bones
-
Dear Bones-
I just wanted to say that I admire you so much, and I remember when you reinstalled my backbone ( do you remember that day?)- Thank you and Have a Fabulous New Year!!! You deserve every happiness in life Bones!
Love,
Changing
-
Bones,
Ask for a few Filets and lobster. Just kidding, Happy New Year!
-
Happy New Year, dear Bones... I hope that your bronchitis is clearing away and... whew, do I ever understand needing space. You'll sort it, I am sure... and get that destination firmly in sight.
Love to you,
Carolyn
-
Dear Bones-
I just wanted to say that I admire you so much, and I remember when you reinstalled my backbone ( do you remember that day?)- Thank you and Have a Fabulous New Year!!! You deserve every happiness in life Bones!
Love,
Changing
Thanks, Changing and Happy New Year.
Bones
-
Bones,
Ask for a few Filets and lobster. Just kidding, Happy New Year!
Thanks, Alone and Happy New Year.
Bones
-
Happy New Year, dear Bones... I hope that your bronchitis is clearing away and... whew, do I ever understand needing space. You'll sort it, I am sure... and get that destination firmly in sight.
Love to you,
Carolyn
Thanks and Happy New Year! I'm still trying to get rid of this cough that keeps hanging on.
Bones
-
I'm relieved the holidays are over. I'm still keeping my distance from NDoofus.
Bones
-
I'm still trying to take care of myself while getting the rest of this "bug" out of my system.
Bones
-
'Knock on Wood'
NDoofus hasn't bugged me since before Christmas.
Bones
-
I think I'm looking at the worst example of an Nparent on television right now.
This Nmonster's 4-year-old son was tortured to death by her boyfriend, she's in prison for life because of her son's death, and she's sitting there with this self-satisfied smirk on her face. The police officer described how she smirked the day the boy was found dead because she thought that she was the center of attention. Typical N behavior in my opinion. She makes me so angry!
Bones
-
I just read Bella's thread and the acquaintance sounds a lot like NDoofus.
Bones
-
So far, knock on wood, NDoofus has left me alone.
Bones
-
Hey Bones
Keeping 2 threads running that are so old?
Lost my Job and Doubting Myself/ is that still true?
Is it Always N behaviour....?/ and only you post
Do you ever respond to others?
Izzy
-
Hey Bones
Keeping 2 threads running that are so old?
Lost my Job and Doubting Myself/ is that still true?
Is it Always N behaviour....?/ and only you post
Do you ever respond to others?
Izzy
I also respond to others.
Bones
-
Post deleted.
Yamen, Shy, Watcher, Observer—and various other names. I have asked you to post under one name. You are one person with one view of the world. I, and many others, would appreciate hearing that view. Your pretending to be many people all of whom share the same view, however, is not allowed on this board. E-mail me.
Richard
-
Hey Bones
Keeping 2 threads running that are so old?
Lost my Job and Doubting Myself/ is that still true?
Is it Always N behaviour....?/ and only you post
Do you ever respond to others?
Izzy
Third time I\'ve watched Izzy be rude to another member. Who steps in here to say stop?
Watcher,
Dr Richard Grossman owns and runs the board in a most professional manner, and, should it be deemed necessary (as it has been) then he will step in and act accordingly.
* looks * like the question was resolved between the board members themselves, maybe?
Hope that helps clarify, as I * see * and understand.
Leah
-
Not to worry , Watcher
tt gave me what for and I posted again to bones who thanked me--- guess you missed that one
Where is your story? I would love to hear it!! Very Much, as I used to be a 'watcher' when I was about three when my dad chopped wood and my two older sisters piled it and I watched.
Love
Izzy
-
Post deleted.
Yamen, Shy, Watcher, Observer—and various other names. I have asked you to post under one name. You are one person with one view of the world. I, and many others, would appreciate hearing that view. Your pretending to be many people all of whom share the same view, however, is not allowed on this board. E-mail me.
Richard
-
Dear Bones,
Is the "bug" gone now?
We've had one trifling with us here, but so far kids haven't missed any school and I've been able to work through it.
Vitamins must be helping!
I hope you're feeling much better now.
Love,
Carolyn
-
Dear Bones,
Is the "bug" gone now?
We've had one trifling with us here, but so far kids haven't missed any school and I've been able to work through it.
Vitamins must be helping!
I hope you're feeling much better now.
Love,
Carolyn
Thanks, Carolyn.
The cough is still fading gradually. I can't wait until it's completely gone!
Bones
-
Recently, my car started acting up and BF asked me to call NDoofus to help me with transportation. I refuse to do that.
Bones
-
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, Bones... car troubles are a pain. I take it that bf is not mechanically inclined, and - in customary Mr. Fix-It manner - he's providing you what is (to him!) the simplest remedy for the problem. Ahem.
I hope you know a reliable, trustworthy mechanic who'll diagnose the trouble! Especially, I hope it's nothing too serious or costly, Bones. If you can afford it, maybe a rental car would alleviate the transportation stresses while your own vehicle is in the shop? I know, that's alot of if's, but... a proactive approach which doesn't involve N's or Doofuses is always best, imo.
With love,
Carolyn
-
Oh, Bones,
With your work and activities, you really need your car, and, do hope that you can find a reliable, affordable, car mechanic. Is there anyone you can ask, maybe, your colleagues may be able to recommend someone to you?
Hope you have gained your strength back, following your recent recovery from flu.
Thoughts of you.
Love, Leah
-
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, Bones... car troubles are a pain. I take it that bf is not mechanically inclined, and - in customary Mr. Fix-It manner - he's providing you what is (to him!) the simplest remedy for the problem. Ahem.
I hope you know a reliable, trustworthy mechanic who'll diagnose the trouble! Especially, I hope it's nothing too serious or costly, Bones. If you can afford it, maybe a rental car would alleviate the transportation stresses while your own vehicle is in the shop? I know, that's alot of if's, but... a proactive approach which doesn't involve N's or Doofuses is always best, imo.
With love,
Carolyn
Thanks, Carolyn!
I've taken the car to a reliable mechanic. The cause is still a mystery so the assessment is still ongoing. BF has never been mechanically inclined. His expertise is in mathematics and astrophysics, not automotive engineering. If my car was the USS Enterprise, he is definitely NOT Scotty!
Bones
-
Oh, Bones,
With your work and activities, you really need your car, and, do hope that you can find a reliable, affordable, car mechanic. Is there anyone you can ask, maybe, your colleagues may be able to recommend someone to you?
Hope you have gained your strength back, following your recent recovery from flu.
Thoughts of you.
Love, Leah
Thanks, Leah!
I have a mechanic conducting an ongoing assessment with my car even at this writing. We both know something is happening everytime the weather gets rainy, cold and nasty but the exact cause is still being elusive.
Bones
-
Well, dear Bones... something happens to me when the weather is cold, rainy, and nasty, too! :lol: But in the case of your automobile, sounds to me like an electrical issue... and those can be elusive, indeed.
Today I was thinking about the ramifications of contacting the N-doofus-es in our lives, at times when we need assistance...
and oh, how very much that can be an opening of pandora's box. What does a pathological narcissist expect in return for a favor? Everything, I guess! Then again, N's expect everything anyway, since they're doing you a favor just by allowing you to share the planet with them... lol... oy.
Anyhow, I hope your car get fixed up properly and soon and that it's not some teeny computer sensor gone faulty, requiring 5 hours labor to access.
(((((((Bones))))))) Take good care of yourself.
Carolyn
-
Well, dear Bones... something happens to me when the weather is cold, rainy, and nasty, too! :lol: But in the case of your automobile, sounds to me like an electrical issue... and those can be elusive, indeed.
Today I was thinking about the ramifications of contacting the N-doofus-es in our lives, at times when we need assistance...
and oh, how very much that can be an opening of pandora's box. What does a pathological narcissist expect in return for a favor? Everything, I guess! Then again, N's expect everything anyway, since they're doing you a favor just by allowing you to share the planet with them... lol... oy.
Anyhow, I hope your car get fixed up properly and soon and that it's not some teeny computer sensor gone faulty, requiring 5 hours labor to access.
(((((((Bones))))))) Take good care of yourself.
Carolyn
Thanks, Carolyn!
I really do prefer to NOT open that Pandora's box with NDoofus!
Bones
-
Hey Bones
Go to the Huskly on the corner of the highway! Cal is good and fair
Izzy
:?: :?: :?:
-
I had a situation happen last Saturday that has me scratching my head.
I had gone to a restaurant to meet with a group of friends and talk about our mutual interests. One person, who is not an official member of the group, "dropped in" unnanounced and ordered dinner with the rest of us. We've known her for a few years and didn't really say anything since anyone is entitled to go to a restaurant to eat if they want to. As the group was adjourning for the evening, each of us paying our individual tabs, and I started heading out the door with my take-home frozen dessert, this "gate crasher" accosted me at the door asking me to loan her money to pay for her dinner!!!! :shock: Turns out that she had shown up at the restaurant and brought NO money with her and, apparently, she assumed that others would pay for her dinner FOR her!!! I just looked her straight in the eye and told her: "I don't have it to loan. Bye-bye!"
This individual is older than I am, she knew that she was going to a restaurant and that restaurants CHARGE for their meals! I don't understand how she could simply "drop in", unannounced, and expect others to pay for her dinner plus their own when she has NEVER contributed ANYTHING in the years we have known her!
Bones
-
This individual is older than I am, she knew that she was going to a restaurant and that restaurants CHARGE for their meals! I don't understand how she could simply "drop in", unannounced, and expect others to pay for her dinner plus their own when she has NEVER contributed ANYTHING in the years we have known her!
Bones
Bones,
My guess is - - she's discovered that this technique works for her... or at least, it works enough of the time that she continues to try it.
Isn't it strange? Kinda reminds me of cleptomania, in a way... people stealing, simply for some weird thrill.
I don't think it's anything to do with the money or the food, but more about the satisfaction of the game.
I wonder how she managed to wiggle out of this one?!?
You did well to respond directly and not bail her out, I think!
Carolyn
-
This individual is older than I am, she knew that she was going to a restaurant and that restaurants CHARGE for their meals! I don't understand how she could simply "drop in", unannounced, and expect others to pay for her dinner plus their own when she has NEVER contributed ANYTHING in the years we have known her!
Bones
Bones,
My guess is - - she's discovered that this technique works for her... or at least, it works enough of the time that she continues to try it.
Isn't it strange? Kinda reminds me of cleptomania, in a way... people stealing, simply for some weird thrill.
I don't think it's anything to do with the money or the food, but more about the satisfaction of the game.
I wonder how she managed to wiggle out of this one?!?
You did well to respond directly and not bail her out, I think!
Carolyn
Thanks, Carolyn.
I'm not sure what happened after I left. She had annoyed the ENTIRE group, during our meeting, by attempting to continually change the subject to HER interests, HER toys, HER accomplishments, etc., etc. etc. and attempting to make "cute" comments that went over like a lead balloon until all of us said, simultaneously, "SHUT UP!" On top of that, whenever anyone in the group discussed a topic such as an upcoming convention nearby or someone succeeding in selling something they wrote, this Nindividual would attempt to make a dirty joke out of it until it was all I could do to restrain myself from throttling her!
Bones
-
I just got ANOTHER e-mail from NDoofus asking to get together with me ASAP. I have not responded yet.
Bones
-
I just got ANOTHER e-mail from NDoofus asking to get together with me ASAP. I have not responded yet.
Bones
An alternate translation of ASAP = As Soon As you Please :D
(((((((Bones)))))))
-
I just got ANOTHER e-mail from NDoofus asking to get together with me ASAP. I have not responded yet.
Bones
An alternate translation of ASAP = As Soon As you Please :D
(((((((Bones)))))))
:D Thanks!!!!! :D
Bones
-
Hi Bones,
I just read your account of your mother's monstrous behavior, and her beatings.
I think she enjoyed it.
I think she did too.
:(
I am so sorry.
I'm glad you're sharing those horrible memories and I hope you'll wind up empty of her.
You did not deserve such cruelty. EVER. In any way.
love
Hops
-
Hi Bones,
I just read your account of your mother's monstrous behavior, and her beatings.
I think she enjoyed it.
I think she did too.
:(
I am so sorry.
I'm glad you're sharing those horrible memories and I hope you'll wind up empty of her.
You did not deserve such cruelty. EVER. In any way.
love
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
I can't even call her a mother because she NEVER was a mother!
Bones
-
(((((((((Bones))))))))) I was just thinkin of you and wanted to let you know... hoping that you're feeling well & enjoying your days. How's it going?
Love,
Carolyn
-
(((((((((Bones))))))))) I was just thinkin of you and wanted to let you know... hoping that you're feeling well & enjoying your days. How's it going?
Love,
Carolyn
Thanks, Carolyn!
I'm taking things one day at a time.
NDoofus is still sending me e-mails. My only response to her is that "I'm busy!"
Bones
-
Bones, it's good to read you! Thanks for posting/checking in :P 8)
Same here, one day at a time and N-free.
Take good care of yourself, please.
Love,
Carolyn
-
Bones, it's good to read you! Thanks for posting/checking in :P 8)
Same here, one day at a time and N-free.
Take good care of yourself, please.
Love,
Carolyn
I'm trying to. My energy level is very low right now.
Bones
-
I'm trying to. My energy level is very low right now.
Bones
(((((((Bones)))))))) I wish that you could surround yourself with supportive people who would just love on you and not expect anything in return.
Sounds like maybe you need a break in the routine? You're probably working far too hard.
Wish I could help.
Love,
Carolyn
-
I'm trying to. My energy level is very low right now.
Bones
(((((((Bones)))))))) I wish that you could surround yourself with supportive people who would just love on you and not expect anything in return.
Sounds like maybe you need a break in the routine? You're probably working far too hard.
Wish I could help.
Love,
Carolyn
Thanks, Carolyn.
Unfortunately, with bills coming in, I have to work.
Bones
-
(((((((Bones))))))) I know... I'm sorry, just concerned about you because you've been so quiet lately.
Seems to me that Springtime being just around the corner is a very good thing. Okay, well maybe it's a slightly bigger corner where you are... but it's a'comin!
Love,
Carolyn
-
(((((((Bones))))))) I know... I'm sorry, just concerned about you because you've been so quiet lately.
Seems to me that Springtime being just around the corner is a very good thing. Okay, well maybe it's a slightly bigger corner where you are... but it's a'comin!
Love,
Carolyn
Thanks, Carolyn.
We had a NASTY ice storm in our area and walking is HAZARDOUS!!!!
Bones
-
Thanks, Carolyn.
We had a NASTY ice storm in our area and walking is HAZARDOUS!!!!
Bones
ooo Yuck, Bones... we've had several rounds of that here, too. 'Tis the season! That in-between time when winter gives its last great gasp.
Had 80 degrees one day, then 8 inches of snow two days later, then ice, and now just plain brrrr cold... but this, too, shall pass!
Hope you have and wear some good non-skid boots.... or better yet, stay in till everything's salted or dried.
Take good care.
Love to you,
Carolyn
P.S. Feels like today oughtta be Friday!
-
Thanks, Carolyn.
We had a NASTY ice storm in our area and walking is HAZARDOUS!!!!
Bones
ooo Yuck, Bones... we've had several rounds of that here, too. 'Tis the season! That in-between time when winter gives its last great gasp.
Had 80 degrees one day, then 8 inches of snow two days later, then ice, and now just plain brrrr cold... but this, too, shall pass!
Hope you have and wear some good non-skid boots.... or better yet, stay in till everything's salted or dried.
Take good care.
Love to you,
Carolyn
P.S. Feels like today oughtta be Friday!
I agree! I couldn't stay home as I was needed at the Hypothermia shelter.
Bones
-
Dear Bones,
Please forgive me if you've already mentioned this in the past and I missed it or have forgotten, but...
is your work at the hypothermia shelter a paid position or volunteer work? (I hope that's not too nosy of me to ask :oops:)
Confessing right now that I'd like to pare your busy schedule down to size so that you can get some much needed rest and relaxation... ((((((Bones))))))
Love,
Carolyn
-
Dear Bones,
Please forgive me if you've already mentioned this in the past and I missed it or have forgotten, but...
is your work at the hypothermia shelter a paid position or volunteer work? (I hope that's not too nosy of me to ask :oops:)
Confessing right now that I'd like to pare your busy schedule down to size so that you can get some much needed rest and relaxation... ((((((Bones))))))
Love,
Carolyn
Thanks, Carolyn.
My work at the hypothermia shelter is part of my paying job. I'm doing both hotline counseling as well as assisting the homeless in the hypothermia shelter.
Bones
-
I've also encountered a couple of N's during this past week at work. One N took exception to the rules we have in place for the clients. (We have these rules in place for everyone's safety.) She attempted to override our decisions, in front of the clients, and attempted to force me to do what SHE wanted. Rather than get into a full-blown shout-down, I called my boss and he got her to back off from me. Then on the last night that I worked at this particular facility, (we move to a new facilty next week), I found myself dealing with TWO N's trying to force what they wanted down my throat! One N turned up with an expensive camera, with "bells and whistles" on it and announced to me that SHE was going to TAKE PICTURES OF OUR CLIENTS! I told her "N-O! That is a violation of client confidentiality!" She insisted on arguing and debating the issue. I called my boss and my boss backed me up. He also instructed me to tell this N that unless she has Release Forms for the clients to sign, pictures of the clients are NOT ALLOWED! I relayed this information after I hung up from my boss. She DEMANDED that I call my boss back and tell him that she will give the pictures to the clients, therefore that should permit her to take the pictures! Again, I told her "N-O!" (What part of the word "NO" does she NOT understand?!?) However, while the clients lined up to get dinner, I saw her camera flash. (I think she ignored our rules and took the pictures anyway! :x)
Then, the other N that I had a confrontation with earlier in the week, announced that all of our clients MUST attend their church services! I told her: "If the client wants to accept an invitation, that is the client's perogative. If the client does NOT want to attend church services, that is also the client's choice. No one should be FORCED to attend church services." She attempted to argue with me on that point and I, again, repeated the word "NO!" She walked away from me, to where the clients were already in bed sleeping, and started waking them up demanding that they get up and go to her church because "EVERYONE MUST GO!" My colleague sent a text message to the boss informing him about what this N was doing to the clients regarding the church services. The boss responded that this N is NOT allowed to badger our clients like this and that NO client should be FORCED to attend any church services anywhere! The boss plans to contact this N about what she did which violated the clients' rights.
I'm hoping that we NEVER go back to that building again!
Bones
-
Last night was a REAL challenge for me! I was subbing for someone else at a different facility when an individual showed up, drunk and disorderly. He was determined to start a fight. I stood between him and his intended targets and told him that he needed to leave. He responded by trying to put his arms around me and I stood out of his reach, telling him that he is not allowed to do that. He became more belligerent and I called the police. When the police arrived, he was given the option of leaving voluntarily or leaving involuntarily...either way he had to leave. In the end, the police escorted him out the door.
Then, another client attempted to challenge me in front of everyone about what had just occurred with the drunk and disorderly. (Apparently, he was looking forward to the fight.) By this point, I was in no mood for nonsense and I told the "challenger": "You want to be next? Keep it up! I'll be more than happy to have the police escort return for you!" He got this "deer in the headlights" look, went straight to his bunk and shut up. I notified my bosses about what had happened and they backed me up.
Bones
-
Bones,
I'm sorry! Thought I'd replied to your previous post ... I'm sure I typed it! ...about those wacky-bossy-pushy women trying to photograph your clients and force them to attend a particular service... sheesh. Don't they think these people have human rights? Sounds like they treat them as animals!
And the ones spoiling for a fight last night. Bones, do you have access to any form of physical protection there - I dunno, like pepper spray? Stun gun? lol ((((((Bones))))))) sounds a bit scary to me. You must have a great tone of voice to back these characters down when they get loaded for bear... I just hate to think of you being in danger there. Must be difficult to sub at a different place, where nobody knows you...
One positive jumps out at me all the way around... your bosses are backing you up every step of the way, sounds like. Yay!
Stay safe, Bones. Hope you don't have to return to that other building again.
Love,
Carolyn
-
You brave Bones, you!
(Did you see that amazing Bonesey Valentine? I forget who posted it but it was probably Izzyy...in your honor, I'll bet!)
Be safe at work and happy at home...
love
Hops
-
Bones,
I'm sorry! Thought I'd replied to your previous post ... I'm sure I typed it! ...about those wacky-bossy-pushy women trying to photograph your clients and force them to attend a particular service... sheesh. Don't they think these people have human rights? Sounds like they treat them as animals!
And the ones spoiling for a fight last night. Bones, do you have access to any form of physical protection there - I dunno, like pepper spray? Stun gun? lol ((((((Bones))))))) sounds a bit scary to me. You must have a great tone of voice to back these characters down when they get loaded for bear... I just hate to think of you being in danger there. Must be difficult to sub at a different place, where nobody knows you...
One positive jumps out at me all the way around... your bosses are backing you up every step of the way, sounds like. Yay!
Stay safe, Bones. Hope you don't have to return to that other building again.
Love,
Carolyn
Thanks, Carolyn!
Most of the clients, at the second facility where I subbed, have met me before. I've taken self-defense classes in the past so if "push came to shove" I can defend myself. There were volunteers there at the second facility too. However, judging by the way they all huddled in the kitchen, like sheep, told me that they were too scared to think straight. I was having trouble with my cell phone while calling the police and asked where their church phone was. Their response: Silence while looking like scared deer. God help them if things had gotten really bad.
As for the first facility, I got the impression that the group of volunteers there are a bunch of N's who's attitudes were: "Me First!" It made me angry that they attempted to treat the clients as if they were animals in a zoo! Give me a break!!! There will be a year-end meeting, when the program wraps up for the season, where issues like this will be discussed.
Bones
-
You brave Bones, you!
(Did you see that amazing Bonesey Valentine? I forget who posted it but it was probably Izzyy...in your honor, I'll bet!)
Be safe at work and happy at home...
love
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
I didn't see the Valentine. Do you know where it is located?
Thanks, again!
Bones
-
Oh, I see, Bones. And I'm very glad to know you've taken some self-defense classes!
I hope the year-end meeting is not the end of the calendar year, because those pushy volunteers could do alot of damage between now and then.
The Valentine which Hops mentioned is on the "Anything" thread, reply # 1149, Bones:
http://www.voicelessness.com/disc3//index.php?topic=1179.0 (http://www.voicelessness.com/disc3//index.php?topic=1179.0)
It is cute :).. Izzy posted it.
Well, I hope you're off work today and able to relax. I think we're on our final phase of the flu in our household, now that everyone's had it... so this should be a far more pleasant day! Been a long haul X 4 of us.
Love to you and hugs,
Carolyn
-
Hi,
I was searching for someone in Google, and I just happened on this website and on your August 2007 email. My question to you is: Why are you (or were you) friends with a person like this? She sounds like she has some serious problems. I hope you ended your friendship with this troubled person and have found more stable friends. One stable friend is worth 10 unstable ones. I know, as I was married to a mentally ill and alcoholic person in my younger years, and was friends with a few other troubled people. I now stay far away from people with serious problems, and my life is much better for it.
Anon.
-
Welcome to you, Anonymous...
I'm not sure how much you've read here on the board, but just wanted to say that Narcissistically Personality Disordered individuals are a unique collection of disordered folks... they have a peculiar way of hooking you into their clutches and it's often not so easy to get away, especially when you've been raised by parents with like tendancies.
Carolyn
-
Oh, I see, Bones. And I'm very glad to know you've taken some self-defense classes!
I hope the year-end meeting is not the end of the calendar year, because those pushy volunteers could do alot of damage between now and then.
The Valentine which Hops mentioned is on the "Anything" thread, reply # 1149, Bones:
http://www.voicelessness.com/disc3//index.php?topic=1179.0 (http://www.voicelessness.com/disc3//index.php?topic=1179.0)
It is cute :).. Izzy posted it.
Well, I hope you're off work today and able to relax. I think we're on our final phase of the flu in our household, now that everyone's had it... so this should be a far more pleasant day! Been a long haul X 4 of us.
Love to you and hugs,
Carolyn
Thanks, Carolyn.
I'm scheduled to work every night this week through Thursday and then will be attending training Friday and Saturday.
Bones
-
Just wishing you well, Bones ,and thinking of you. Warmly, Ami
-
Just wishing you well, Bones ,and thinking of you. Warmly, Ami
Thanks, Ami!
Bones
-
Thanks, Carolyn.
I'm scheduled to work every night this week through Thursday and then will be attending training Friday and Saturday.
Bones
Does this training lead to promise of advancement and a pay raise, Bones? :D Either way, I hope it's something you enjoy and from which you'll gain some benefits. Will be thinkin of you!
With love,
Carolyn
-
Thanks, Carolyn.
I'm scheduled to work every night this week through Thursday and then will be attending training Friday and Saturday.
Bones
Does this training lead to promise of advancement and a pay raise, Bones? :D Either way, I hope it's something you enjoy and from which you'll gain some benefits. Will be thinkin of you!
With love,
Carolyn
I can only hope. I'm trying the best I can.
Bones
-
I can only hope. I'm trying the best I can.
Bones
I know you are doing your best ... trying so very hard. It shows... I can feel it.
I'm believing that you'll reap the harvest, dear Bones.
Love,
Carolyn
-
I can only hope. I'm trying the best I can.
Bones
I know you are doing your best ... trying so very hard. It shows... I can feel it.
I'm believing that you'll reap the harvest, dear Bones.
Love,
Carolyn
Thanks, Carolyn.
I recently got ANOTHER e-mail from NDoofus and I have not responded to her. She has previously complained that her brother-in-law doesn't speak to her and her sister does not talk to her as much. She has not yet asked why I have not responded. When she has been confronted by her other relatives, she continues to act completely oblivious to WHY everyone is angry at her.
Bones
-
Thanks, Carolyn.
I recently got ANOTHER e-mail from NDoofus and I have not responded to her. She has previously complained that her brother-in-law doesn't speak to her and her sister does not talk to her as much. She has not yet asked why I have not responded. When she has been confronted by her other relatives, she continues to act completely oblivious to WHY everyone is angry at her.
Bones
Dear Bones,
I don't think she's acting... she seems to be genuinely oblivious. That doesn't mean she should receive pity or enabling as a response... only that maybe the anger at her can get chucked out the door and a new reason for not responding to her could take its place... ?
Just a thought. This is the way I'm trying to view my parents mail-contacts to me... so that they'll no longer arouse madness OR pity, but a detached understanding that this is simply the way they are.
Reason being, somewhere deep inside, I think it's possible for us to convince ourselves that we really are angry at "them"... long past the point where the anger shoulda been replaced by acceptance - not of their bad behaviour, but of our own inability to change them.
Love to you,
Carolyn
-
I don't think that the N's can "help" their core dysfunction. They can help individual behaviors,like screaming at a particular person.
However,with my M, I see that her "core" is infected, as a computer would be with a virus. She is trying to be loving to me ,now, as best as she can, but all the while, she is wielding the knife in me, to prove that SHE is good and *I* am lesser -----over and over---bleh.
So, her core problem i.e. that she has little self, cannot be changed by me. She cannot give me a healthy love,which nourishes me. She can give me poisoned water and she does. I aways drank it b/c I wanted water so badly.
My Aunt's children can never know the pain of wanting a "wire monkey" to nurture you. They lived a totally different life.
Now, I have to untangle the ball of yarn which is her and me and her and me--all mixed up----bleh. Ami
-
Thanks, Carolyn.
I recently got ANOTHER e-mail from NDoofus and I have not responded to her. She has previously complained that her brother-in-law doesn't speak to her and her sister does not talk to her as much. She has not yet asked why I have not responded. When she has been confronted by her other relatives, she continues to act completely oblivious to WHY everyone is angry at her.
Bones
Dear Bones,
I don't think she's acting... she seems to be genuinely oblivious. That doesn't mean she should receive pity or enabling as a response... only that maybe the anger at her can get chucked out the door and a new reason for not responding to her could take its place... ?
Just a thought. This is the way I'm trying to view my parents mail-contacts to me... so that they'll no longer arouse madness OR pity, but a detached understanding that this is simply the way they are.
Reason being, somewhere deep inside, I think it's possible for us to convince ourselves that we really are angry at "them"... long past the point where the anger shoulda been replaced by acceptance - not of their bad behaviour, but of our own inability to change them.
Love to you,
Carolyn
Thanks, Carolyn.
I get angry when she creates situations that are damaging to everyone around her.
Bones
-
I don't think that the N's can "help" their core dysfunction. They can help individual behaviors,like screaming at a particular person.
However,with my M, I see that her "core" is infected, as a computer would be with a virus. She is trying to be loving to me ,now, as best as she can, but all the while, she is wielding the knife in me, to prove that SHE is good and *I* am lesser -----over and over---bleh.
So, her core problem i.e. that she has little self, cannot be changed by me. She cannot give me a healthy love,which nourishes me. She can give me poisoned water and she does. I aways drank it b/c I wanted water so badly.
My Aunt's children can never know the pain of wanting a "wire monkey" to nurture you. They lived a totally different life.
Now, I have to untangle the ball of yarn which is her and me and her and me--all mixed up----bleh. Ami
Thanks, Ami.
Interestingly, as I was watching Judge Judy on Friday, February 22nd, there was a case where the defendant was CLEARLY an N! She was stating that her daughter-in-law "stole her son from her and SHE wants her son back"! She took money from her son and daughter-in-law and exhibited this attitude of ENTITLEMENT at Judge Judy! (Wrong move!) Judge Judy explained to the plaintiffs that the defendant clearly has a personality disorder while awarding money to the plaintiffs. The son tried to bridge the gap between himself and his mother only to have the Nmother demand ALL OR NOTHING! The only thing I could do was shake my head.
Bones
-
Thanks, Carolyn.
I get angry when she creates situations that are damaging to everyone around her.
Bones
Yeah, I hear you, Bones... me, too, at times... and I know there is a version of anger which is righteous.
Where that righteous anger crosses the line in me, is when I get to feeling:
a) Self-righteous about it (like I'm better than the annoying one)
or
b) Controlling (like it's my job to work out other peoples' issues with the annoying one).
Gets me dizzy at times, but detachment helps to step back from both of the above and just work out my own issues.
Hope you have a good weekend after work!
Love,
Carolyn
-
Dear Carolyn and Bones,
SinceI lost Scott ,I have gotten more of an empathy for people's issues. I tried so hard to be a good mother and to provide a "good "
life for my kids.Scott did the worst thing a kid could ever do. So, where did my 'smarts" get me?
I see my H with the same non=judging eyes(mostly). He tried to do what he was programmed to do and he "lost"--big time.
My M was (and is) underwater.
I am almost to the top---almost--not quite.
The Bible says the sins of the fathers are visited on the sons down to the third generation(paraphrase).
We, all ,get caught in the FOO web and things get beyond our control and start spinning in ways we would never imagine(IME)
Love Ami
-
((((((Ami))))) You know that passage doesnt refer to judgment, right? I mean... in prophesying the new covenant, Jeremiah chapter 31 sheds a fresh light, I believe, on what you've mentioned here. Because of that new covenant in Christ, I am certain that Scott didn't die because of anyone else's sins or as a consequence of any judgment of God on your family. But I do know the effects of generational consequences within families, including my own. Thank God He gives us His Holy Spirit and makes us new creations in Christ Jesus, breaking the cords of all our old webs. Without Him, I know that my core is infected with the same virus as my mother, or yours, or anyone else...that virus of sin. These are the things I've been talking about with my older 2 daughters recently... because I want to make sure they know about the new covenant, and not just the dead religion I knew while they were still here in our home. Hope that makes sense.
Love,
Carolyn
-
Thanks, Carolyn.
I get angry when she creates situations that are damaging to everyone around her.
Bones
Yeah, I hear you, Bones... me, too, at times... and I know there is a version of anger which is righteous.
Where that righteous anger crosses the line in me, is when I get to feeling:
a) Self-righteous about it (like I'm better than the annoying one)
or
b) Controlling (like it's my job to work out other peoples' issues with the annoying one).
Gets me dizzy at times, but detachment helps to step back from both of the above and just work out my own issues.
Hope you have a good weekend after work!
Love,
Carolyn
Thanks, Carolyn.
What makes me angry is when I see her do stuff that puts her mother at risk, given her disabilities (i.e. Alzheimer's, losing her balance, etc.) as well as her attempts to rip apart my regalia, at my graduation, which amounted to a physical assault.
Bones
-
Dear Carolyn and Bones,
SinceI lost Scott ,I have gotten more of an empathy for people's issues. I tried so hard to be a good mother and to provide a "good "
life for my kids.Scott did the worst thing a kid could ever do. So, where did my 'smarts" get me?
I see my H with the same non=judging eyes(mostly). He tried to do what he was programmed to do and he "lost"--big time.
My M was (and is) underwater.
I am almost to the top---almost--not quite.
The Bible says the sins of the fathers are visited on the sons down to the third generation(paraphrase).
We, all ,get caught in the FOO web and things get beyond our control and start spinning in ways we would never imagine(IME)
Love Ami
(((((((((((((((((((((Ami)))))))))))))))))))))))
Bones
-
I wanted to post this thought or two on the Board to see what other people think about this.
Recently, my bf and I were watching the DVDs of Season 2, DS9...the episode titled: "Crossover". At the time I first saw this episode about ten or so years ago, I didn't know about Narcissistic Personality Disorder. As I was re-watching it, I realized that the "Intendant" was as Narcissistic as one could get when she met her "Mirror" counterpart...especially when she told her, in one scene: "I don't want your fear, I want your love"! :shock:
Bones
-
Hi Bones,
Sorry, this is over my head, I think... but one thing - when my ex was not trying to absorb me or become me, he often did give me the impression that having me fear him was just exactly what he wanted... so, I guess I don't get it?
Love,
Carolyn
-
Hi Bones,
Sorry, this is over my head, I think... but one thing - when my ex was not trying to absorb me or become me, he often did give me the impression that having me fear him was just exactly what he wanted... so, I guess I don't get it?
Love,
Carolyn
Sorry, I didn't express myself clearly. One of the other things that was in the episode was that the "Intendant" was in love with her "Mirror" self. If that is not Narcissism, I don't know what is.
Bones
-
Sorry, I didn't express myself clearly. One of the other things that was in the episode was that the "Intendant" was in love with her "Mirror" self. If that is not Narcissism, I don't know what is.
Bones
oh. Yup, I see, Bones.
It's so strange... when I met my ex, he mirrored to me all of my own best qualities and I "fell in love" with him. So I wonder whether we don't all tend to love our "selves" that way, to an extent.... like when we meet someone whom we think is a kindred spirit.
But of course N's are hollow-cored, so we really are falling for a reflection.
Not sure that makes sense, but o well.
Love,
Carolyn
-
Sorry, I didn't express myself clearly. One of the other things that was in the episode was that the "Intendant" was in love with her "Mirror" self. If that is not Narcissism, I don't know what is.
Bones
oh. Yup, I see, Bones.
It's so strange... when I met my ex, he mirrored to me all of my own best qualities and I "fell in love" with him. So I wonder whether we don't all tend to love our "selves" that way, to an extent.... like when we meet someone whom we think is a kindred spirit.
But of course N's are hollow-cored, so we really are falling for a reflection.
Not sure that makes sense, but o well.
Love,
Carolyn
I think we gravitate toward the "familiar" in an unconscious attempt to "fix" the unfixable.
Bones
-
I think we gravitate toward the "familiar" in an unconscious attempt to "fix" the unfixable.
Bones
I guess that's the general theory, Bones... so as long as we leave the fixing to the master Fixer, then we'll be able to keep marching toward the goal.
Love,
Carolyn
-
I think we gravitate toward the "familiar" in an unconscious attempt to "fix" the unfixable.
Bones
I guess that's the general theory, Bones... so as long as we leave the fixing to the master Fixer, then we'll be able to keep marching toward the goal.
Love,
Carolyn
Thanks, Carolyn!
Bones
-
Is it just me or is this a possible danger sign for a newborn?
I was recently reading an article about the newborn daughter of Nicole Richie. She is quoted as saying: "I feel as if she is an extension of me." When I read that statement, my immediate reaction to that was "Uh-Oh!"
Bones
-
I was recently contacted by one of my maternal cousins, after not hearing from him for several years. (He was very close to my Nmother and basically worshipped the ground she walked on. EWWWWW!!!!!) Talking to him was like talking to another N :P! It seemed like he LOVED to hear himself talk and convinced that he knew everything about everything. He had also been raised to believe that I was mentally retarded. When he asked me what I had been up to and I told him that I just recently got my Masters degree, it sounded like he nearly dropped the phone!
After stuttering and stammering for several seconds, then he asks me: "Why did you bother to do THAT?!?!?" (I almost responded with: "What the F?!?!?") Instead, I asked back: "WHY NOT?!?!?!?" (This induhvidual is pushing 60 and still calls his middle-aged sister "The Troll"! What's up with THAT?!?!?!?)
URRGGHHHH!!!! :x
Bones
-
((((((((LOL----Bones)))))))))
Fix him up with N doofus! Ami
-
((((((((LOL----Bones)))))))))
Fix him up with N doofus! Ami
He's already married to someone I've never met. God knows what she sees in him!
Bones
-
Dear Bones,
lol @ induhvidual... :lol:
So he just called you in order to hear the sound of his own voice? Sounds like typical N to me. Chats up a storm, but totally closed to input of any sort. Now that he knows you're not the easy mark he expected, I doubt whether you'll hear any more.
Good to read you!
Love,
Carolyn
-
Dear Bones,
lol @ induhvidual... :lol:
So he just called you in order to hear the sound of his own voice? Sounds like typical N to me. Chats up a storm, but totally closed to input of any sort. Now that he knows you're not the easy mark he expected, I doubt whether you'll hear any more.
Good to read you!
Love,
Carolyn
Thanks, Carolyn!
:D
Bones
-
Hi, Master Bones...
Hope you're having a healthy, happy early spring and that work is settling down.
love to you
Hops
-
Hi, Master Bones...
Hope you're having a healthy, happy early spring and that work is settling down.
love to you
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
The hypothermia program is starting to wind down.
In the meantime, I just got another e-mail from NDoofus. I've told her several times that I am BUSY and she still doesn't seem to get it!
Bones
-
NDoofus is the closest I have seen to my M, Bones.Thanks for the picture(lol). Love to you, Ami
-
NDoofus is the closest I have seen to my M, Bones.Thanks for the picture(lol). Love to you, Ami
You're welcome and thanks, Ami!
Dealing with someone who continues to act obtuse is FRUSTRATING!
Bones
-
Due to my hectic work schedule, which has included double-shifts with overnight work, my sleep-wake cycles has been thrown off, which means I am sleeping more than usual during the day. Yesterday afternoon, when I went out to my car to go to a memorial service for a dear friend, I found a note on my windshield from NDoofus DEMANDING that I call her! GAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! :P
Needless to say, I did NOT call her because, as I have informed her NUMEROUS times, I AM BUSY!!!!!!!!
Bones
-
Just wanted to say HI to you Bones in the middle of your drama!! I love the name NDoofus. LOL. You are doing great with setting up and retaining boundaries!!!
Love, Beth
-
Just wanted to say HI to you Bones in the middle of your drama!! I love the name NDoofus. LOL. You are doing great with setting up and retaining boundaries!!!
Love, Beth
Thanks, Beth!
It's so aggravating dealing with her attitude of entitlement to my time. It appears, in her own warped little world, that I have nothing to do, nowhere to go, and ALL of my time is OWNED by HER! Sheesh!!!!!!
Bones
-
I managed to find some humor in moving on from another N from several years ago. Way back when, I had fallen in love with him without understanding that his "pretty boy" looks hid a shallow individual. Recently, I stumbled across a recent picture, on the Net, and noticed that (a) he had put on some weight, (b) his hairline had receded and now he somewhat resembles Alfred E Newman of Mad Magazine. So much for his being a "pretty boy"! *Snicker!* :lol:
Bones
-
Recently, I received an e-mail from another individual who used to be my sponsor several years ago. I fired her as a sponsor because I was catching her in too many lies, (and she even attempted to JUStIFY lying)! She listed her usual tale of woes and I guess I didn't respond the way she expected me to. I get a SNOTTY e-mail back DEMANDING WHY I don't feel sorry for her! I have not responded. Been there, done that, got tired of the mind games. She doesn't understand why I fired her.
Bones
-
Just touching base as things have been quiet on the side of NDoofus.
Bones
-
Hi, Bones :) It's good to read you.
Most of my Doof-i (plural of Doofus? or is it Doofusses... lol) have been quiet lately, as well.
Yay!!
Love,
Carolyn
-
Hi, Bones :) It's good to read you.
Most of my Doof-i (plural of Doofus? or is it Doofusses... lol) have been quiet lately, as well.
Yay!!
Love,
Carolyn
As long as they leave us alone, things are fine. At times, I keep wondering when the next shoe is gonna drop.
Bones
-
As long as they leave us alone, things are fine. At times, I keep wondering when the next shoe is gonna drop.
Bones
Yup... other shoe or anvil, whatever the case may be. I felt like that throughout the first three years of no contact with ex-husband, but eventually they do move on, I believe, Bones. When there's absolutely no response, no feedback, they will find someone else with whom to play cat and mouse.
Bones, remember when you checked for me re: incarceration details/visitation vis my former son-in-law?
Well, he wound up getting weekend jail-tiime for his drug charges and is still a mess, sadly. But just today, my daughter finally got word that she's won full physical custody of their 4 year old daughter. But.... get this - - they still share joint legal custody. Can you imagine?! Why in the world the court thinks that man should have any say whatsoever in the education, health, and welfare of the little girl who has seen the police involved in her family life more times than... well... I dunno, it's beyond me.
Anyhow, at least there's finally a decision and hopefully he'll accept it and move on.... time will tell.
Hope your week is good.
Love,
Carolyn
-
Hi Carolyn,
Well this is good news. I know my friend has full physical custody of her children and brought the court papers to school. Her ex h called the school and asked for copies of their report cards. The school refused since M had the full physical custody. Actually two of my friends so don't worry so much about the joint decisions because the judge told one all she has to do is show report cards and tell him when they are injured or sick and that can be after the fact, like stitches. It's kind of just to shut them up and let them know whats going on. And my two friends ex h's after while didn't even care to know. Just a control issue and it fades out.
Make sure you D puts those papers with the school.
Love
Deb
-
I don't think it is N-ish. To violate another's boundaries could be just someone who has no boundaries of their own!
They just don't recognize the boundary or the violation.
I'm not sure to whom I am speaking.. maybe just because I posted my own on Boundaries.
,
,
,
,
,
,
oh sorry Bones!
-
Thanks, Deb!
Helps alot to hear of some specific examples of how the legal custody part of it works :)
My granddaughter is 4 now and looking forward to Kindergarden this coming Fall, so... I'll pass this on to my daughter and advise her to be sure the school is copied on the court judgment.
In the meanwhile, she told me yesterday that her ex called, gloating, apparently thinking that he really has the upper hand because he didn't have to return their daughter. So obnoxious! Once the court documents arrive via mail, the police will accompany J to pick up the little girl... because trouble is just about guaranteed, where this guy is concerned. He's really gotten nasty now that she has a boyfriend... even though he and my daughter haven't been together in nearly 3 years. It's clear that he still thinks of her... and their child... as his own personal property. Looking forward to the end of this drama so that they can all move on with their lives!
Love to you,
Carolyn
-
As long as they leave us alone, things are fine. At times, I keep wondering when the next shoe is gonna drop.
Bones
Yup... other shoe or anvil, whatever the case may be. I felt like that throughout the first three years of no contact with ex-husband, but eventually they do move on, I believe, Bones. When there's absolutely no response, no feedback, they will find someone else with whom to play cat and mouse.
Bones, remember when you checked for me re: incarceration details/visitation vis my former son-in-law?
Well, he wound up getting weekend jail-tiime for his drug charges and is still a mess, sadly. But just today, my daughter finally got word that she's won full physical custody of their 4 year old daughter. But.... get this - - they still share joint legal custody. Can you imagine?! Why in the world the court thinks that man should have any say whatsoever in the education, health, and welfare of the little girl who has seen the police involved in her family life more times than... well... I dunno, it's beyond me.
Anyhow, at least there's finally a decision and hopefully he'll accept it and move on.... time will tell.
Hope your week is good.
Love,
Carolyn
Thanks, Carolyn!
As for the legal situation, I don't understand the thinking of the courts.
Bones
-
I don't think it is N-ish. To violate another's boundaries could be just someone who has no boundaries of their own!
They just don't recognize the boundary or the violation.
I'm not sure to whom I am speaking.. maybe just because I posted my own on Boundaries.
,
,
,
,
,
,
oh sorry Bones!
In the case of NDoofus, I now understand that it IS N behavior on her part!
Bones
-
Well, I guess you can say that the other anvil just dropped!
NDoofus sent me ANOTHER e-mail...but nothing personalized. It was one of those "chain" e-mails that request that you forward it on to everyone in your address book with a "promise" that you will get something in return. (I don't like chain-letters in any form.) I still have not responded to her. I don't want to open that door.
Bones
-
Sounds like NC is working well for you, Bones...
a fairly peaceful end to that relationship.
I know it was a frustrating one for you.
hugs,
Hops
PS Carolyn, I'm so glad your D has real custody, and I agree w/Deb, sometimes "legal joint" is used to pacify the other parent. I hope he gives up his control games soon. What a hard thing for you to watch unfolding. xxoo, H.
-
Hi, Bones,
I absolutely detest junk mail, especially that sort... where- with one click, the sender can flood the inbox of every individual in her address book.
The last time I spoke up about unwanted email was several years ago, to my brother. Just told him that I didn't want to receive any more of a particular variety of communication... and I haven't heard from him since. Not complaining, but... well, I guess he showed me! heh.
If you've made up your mind that you want no further interaction with this person, then you'll have peace... whether she ever dumps another email into your box... or not.
Love, Carolyn
P.S. Thanks, Hops... me, too! For now, everything appears to be well settled, with the dad getting only 4 hours visitation per week and no weekends.
He's threatening to contest the judgment, but time is rapidly running out and we are pretty sure it's just empty talk. I'm just praying that - at last! - there can be some sense of normalcy to that sweet little girl's days. She's just 4 and this has already been going on through 3 years of her life. 'Nuff!
xOOxO Bunches,
Carolyn
-
Sounds like NC is working well for you, Bones...
a fairly peaceful end to that relationship.
I know it was a frustrating one for you.
hugs,
Hops
PS Carolyn, I'm so glad your D has real custody, and I agree w/Deb, sometimes "legal joint" is used to pacify the other parent. I hope he gives up his control games soon. What a hard thing for you to watch unfolding. xxoo, H.
Thanks, Hops!
Bones
-
Hi, Bones,
I absolutely detest junk mail, especially that sort... where- with one click, the sender can flood the inbox of every individual in her address book.
The last time I spoke up about unwanted email was several years ago, to my brother. Just told him that I didn't want to receive any more of a particular variety of communication... and I haven't heard from him since. Not complaining, but... well, I guess he showed me! heh.
If you've made up your mind that you want no further interaction with this person, then you'll have peace... whether she ever dumps another email into your box... or not.
Love, Carolyn
P.S. Thanks, Hops... me, too! For now, everything appears to be well settled, with the dad getting only 4 hours visitation per week and no weekends.
He's threatening to contest the judgment, but time is rapidly running out and we are pretty sure it's just empty talk. I'm just praying that - at last! - there can be some sense of normalcy to that sweet little girl's days. She's just 4 and this has already been going on through 3 years of her life. 'Nuff!
xOOxO Bunches,
Carolyn
Thanks, Carolyn.
I've given up explaining the obvious to her. She just doesn't get it!
Bones
-
And she is still sending impersonal e-mails.
Bones
-
How about Block Sender, Bones?
Or maybe your email program has a Block Doofus setting?
:lol:
Hops
-
And she is still sending impersonal e-mails.
Bones
Hi Bones,
Been thinking of you, wondering how you are.
Personally, "Block Sender" may be the best option - for you.
I have had to do this with a friend who turned out to be not so friendly - the decision gave me much peace.
I did explain to the person my reason for doing so - she simply moved on to someone else!.
Love, Leah
-
Dear Bones,
It may be possible to designate this stuff from her email address as junk mail. That's what I did. You can check the settings on your junk mail filter and see whether that might work?
This could go on indefinitely, you know? I still have one person who insists on periodically contacting me... and sometimes it really has felt almost like a curse!
She is a very dark personality.
And just this week, there was one from wayyy back (haven't talked with her in over 4 years) who contacted me via "reunion.com". I got this canned message stating that she'd looked for me at that website and couldn't find me, so would I get in touch with her there. Well... my first thought was - - "you've got my email addy! If you really wanted to talk with me, why didn't you just write directly?" lol.. guess that would be too simple - - or possibly too much of a risk of rejection?
I dunno... but I sure don't have time for these folks' games.
Hope you have a great weekend!
Love,
Carolyn
-
How about Block Sender, Bones?
Or maybe your email program has a Block Doofus setting?
:lol:
Hops
I haven't quite figured out how to do that with my e-mail program. I've been simply deleting them without responding.
Bones
-
And she is still sending impersonal e-mails.
Bones
Hi Bones,
Been thinking of you, wondering how you are.
Personally, "Block Sender" may be the best option - for you.
I have had to do this with a friend who turned out to be not so friendly - the decision gave me much peace.
I did explain to the person my reason for doing so - she simply moved on to someone else!.
Love, Leah
Thanks, Leah!
I've been simply deleting without responding because experience has taught me that explaining the obvious to her just does NOT work!
Bones
-
Dear Bones,
It may be possible to designate this stuff from her email address as junk mail. That's what I did. You can check the settings on your junk mail filter and see whether that might work?
This could go on indefinitely, you know? I still have one person who insists on periodically contacting me... and sometimes it really has felt almost like a curse!
She is a very dark personality.
And just this week, there was one from wayyy back (haven't talked with her in over 4 years) who contacted me via "reunion.com". I got this canned message stating that she'd looked for me at that website and couldn't find me, so would I get in touch with her there. Well... my first thought was - - "you've got my email addy! If you really wanted to talk with me, why didn't you just write directly?" lol.. guess that would be too simple - - or possibly too much of a risk of rejection?
I dunno... but I sure don't have time for these folks' games.
Hope you have a great weekend!
Love,
Carolyn
Thanks, Carolyn!
I've just simply delete her e-mail as the junk mail filter doesn't always work and I discovered with other spam.
Bones
-
Thanks, Carolyn!
I've just simply delete her e-mail as the junk mail filter doesn't always work and I discovered with other spam.
Bones
That's the way to follow through, Bones! :D I deleted the ones sent to me, as well. Ahh... the tranquility :) Have a great week!
Love,
Carolyn
-
Thanks, Carolyn!
I've just simply delete her e-mail as the junk mail filter doesn't always work and I discovered with other spam.
Bones
That's the way to follow through, Bones! :D I deleted the ones sent to me, as well. Ahh... the tranquility :) Have a great week!
Love,
Carolyn
Thanks, Carolyn!
So far, the number seems to be dwindling.
Bones
-
Thanks, Carolyn!
So far, the number seems to be dwindling.
Bones
Funny, mine seem to be goin through a little spurt of increase :P but when I deleted yet another one today, I thought of you, Bones :D
Happy almost mid-week!
Love,
Carolyn
-
Thanks, Carolyn!
So far, the number seems to be dwindling.
Bones
Funny, mine seem to be goin through a little spurt of increase :P but when I deleted yet another one today, I thought of you, Bones :D
Happy almost mid-week!
Love,
Carolyn
Hopefully, one day, they will get the message that their targets are not going to respond to them no matter what they do.
Bones
-
Hopefully, one day, they will get the message that their targets are not going to respond to them no matter what they do.
Bones
Well... I dunno about that, Bones. They seem to have a loose circuit when it comes to matters of common sense.
I've decided to apply the "block sender" tool and give my eyes (and deleting finger) a break! :D
Love,
Carolyn
-
Hopefully, one day, they will get the message that their targets are not going to respond to them no matter what they do.
Bones
Well... I dunno about that, Bones. They seem to have a loose circuit when it comes to matters of common sense.
I've decided to apply the "block sender" tool and give my eyes (and deleting finger) a break! :D
Love,
Carolyn
Thanks, Carolyn!
I've been taking it easy this morning as I had a busy day yesterday participating in a disaster drill playing a victim, gory theatrical make-up and all! Quite an experience!!!!!! It was exhausting and I learned a LOT! If you get offered the opportunity of participating in a disaster drill, grab it!!!!! There is SO much to learn and do!!!!!!
So far, so good on my end regarding NDoofus.
The other day, I was thinking and it suddenly occurred to me what NDoofus was REALLY doing regarding her mother, who has Alzheimer's. She is actually USING her mother to make herself look good to others, (i.e. bragging about what a good daughter she is to help her poor sick mother). What made me think this is connected to an incident that took place last September. When I went to participate in a yard sale, trying to get rid of stuff I no longer need, NDoofus was there. She was telling me that her mother had developed pressure sores where the edge of the Depend pads contacted her skin. To prevent these pressure sores from developing into potentially deadly infections, the Depend pads were discontinued. However, NDoofus was NOT using any other form of protection against her mother's incontinence (i.e. pull-ups). In her mind, the pull-ups are adult diapers and she HATES the thought of ever using them on her mother. While she was at the yardsale, her husband kept Mom at home with him even though that meant he had to delay his errands while he was elder-sitting. NDoofus was NOT happy that Mom was NOT with her!
When NDoofus learned that I was planning on seeing other friends at a local restaurant, she announced she was going to join me and bring mother, (KNOWING she is wearing NO incontinence protection). When her husband arrived, with Mom, NDoofus announced her plans to him. He tried to be discreet, (God Bless Him), and told NDoofus that Mom will stay home with him and she can have a break from caretaking. He told her to go ahead and enjoy some fun time with her friends. I saw that inevitable glassy-eyed blank stare on her face as she kept trying to INSIST that mother would go with HER to the restaurant! I was reading between the lines as I was watching this exchange between them. (My translation was: "Husband - Mom needs to stay home with me because she is incontinent, can't wear the pads, you refuse to use the pull-ups, and I don't want to risk Mom having an accident in the middle of the restaurant where others are eating." "NDoofus - I ASSUME NOTHING is going to happen because my ASSUMPTIONS are ALWAYS magically TRUE! Besides, what would people thinik of ME if I'm not bringing Mom with ME to show off?!?") The conversation ended with NDoofus putting Mom in her car and telling her husband she was dropping the leftover stuff at a charity donation and she would come straight back home. He told her he would delay the errands he needed to do until NDoofus brought Mom back home. Then NDoofus would wait, at home, with Mom, until he returned then he would take over with elder-sitting when NDoofus went to the restaurant that evening. As usual, she pulled her passive-aggressive nonsense, came back home several HOURS late and completely torpedoed what her husband needed to do because the places he needed to go to closed at 5:00 PM. Needless to say, he was furious and I don't blame him. (She's done this late-stuff to others all the time with no sign of stopping.) She called me up to complain about his anger and attempted to paint him as the "totally bad guy" while she was the "pure little innocent". She complained that "he's being touchy and difficult!" By this time, I was NOT interested in her manipulations because the blinders had fallen off of my eyes after the Minnesota mess. I simply responded: "Bye", hung up, left the house and enjoyed the evening with my friends.
It makes me angry knowing that she is USING a helpless human being to promote her own Narcissistic agenda. Grrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!
Bones
-
I also look back at what she did on December 23, 2007 when she attempted to DEMAND that I come upstairs and stand in a cold, damp, drafty doorway for HER convenience while ignoring the fact that I was sick with bronchitis and laryngitis. Once again, she had violated everyone's boundaries, (meaning my neighbors), by dropping in, uninvited, and parking illegally AGAIN. She had been told, numerous times, where the visitor parking is located and she STILL continued to either park in other residents' reserved spaces, (that my neighbors paid for), or park in a fire lane. Her excuse? The visitor parking is INCOVENIENT to HER! I had told her that I don't want my neighbors yelling at me because she refuses to respect the boundaries of the condominium owners.
Bones
-
I was recently contacted by one of my maternal cousins, after not hearing from him for several years. (He was very close to my Nmother and basically worshipped the ground she walked on. EWWWWW!!!!!) Talking to him was like talking to another N :P! It seemed like he LOVED to hear himself talk and convinced that he knew everything about everything. He had also been raised to believe that I was mentally retarded. When he asked me what I had been up to and I told him that I just recently got my Masters degree, it sounded like he nearly dropped the phone!
After stuttering and stammering for several seconds, then he asks me: "Why did you bother to do THAT?!?!?" (I almost responded with: "What the F?!?!?") Instead, I asked back: "WHY NOT?!?!?!?" (This induhvidual is pushing 60 and still calls his middle-aged sister "The Troll"! What's up with THAT?!?!?!?)
URRGGHHHH!!!! :x
Bones
I also realize now that dealing with him is like dealing with my Nmother and Nbrother combined!!!!! EEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!! :P
Bones
-
And I realize that she does the same stuff to her family members as well....i.e. dropping in, unannounced, when its convenient for HER.
Bones
-
So far, things have been quiet this week on the part of NDoofus. I still have not responded to any of her previous e-mails.
Bones
-
I think you deserve new friends, Bones...
anybody compatible around?
love
Hops
-
So far, nothing yet.
My work schedule is a bit hectic for that. I meet people but.........
Bones
-
Juat thinking of you, Bones. I find that friends seem to come to me,in an effortless way,now. They seem to come in, in an easy way and feel "right".
I meet s/one whom I want to love(as a friend) and then it just evolves from there.
As I felt more defined ,inside, my outside seemed to reflect it and "give" me what I needed.Just some thoughts. Love Ami
-
Juat thinking of you, Bones. I find that friends seem to come to me,in an effortless way,now. They seem to come in, in an easy way and feel "right".
I meet s/one whom I want to love(as a friend) and then it just evolves from there.
As I felt more defined ,inside, my outside seemed to reflect it and "give" me what I needed.Just some thoughts. Love Ami
Thanks, Ami! This gives me more to think about.
Bones
-
I've also been involved with volunteer, and club, activities in addition to my full-time job so I do encounter a variety of people. Making friends has never been easy for me for as long as I can remember. I have reason to suspect that I may have Asperger's which has never been officially diagnosed. (Asperger's was unknown when I was a child.)
Bones
-
Just got TWO e-mails from NDoofus! One of them is Trek-related. I don't want to respond to her because I know the cost involved.
Bones
-
Hi Bones,
Just saying "Hello".
N Doofus will always be a "fixture" ,it seems.
I am wishing you well, Bones, friend. Sending you thoughts of peace. Love to you, Ami
-
Hi Bones,
Just saying "Hello".
N Doofus will always be a "fixture" ,it seems.
I am wishing you well, Bones, friend. Sending you thoughts of peace. Love to you, Ami
Thanks, Ami!
It just irks me that NDoofus is so oblivious to other people's boundaries!
Bones
-
I've also realized that I have no patience with other Narcissists that I encounter.
Recently, at work, I was conducting a telephone intake for a young woman who is about to become homeless. Given the circumstances, and other possible factors that could determine eligibility for certain programs, there are certain questions that I am required to ask. One second, I'm talking to this woman, the next second a different voice comes on the line DEMANDING WHY I'M ASKING THESE QUESTION?!?
My initial response: "Who are you?"
New voice: "I'M HER MOTHER!"
Me: "I was speaking with your adult daughter. Please put her back on the phone."
The call resumes with the original young woman as I ask additional questions. Then......
New voice: "WHY DO YOU NEED ALL THIS?!?!?!?"
Me: "Ma'am, I was speaking with your adult daughter. I am not discussing her issues with you. Put her back on the phone."
By this point, I'm beginning to lose patience with intrusive mother. As I resume the conversation with the original caller, Nmother snatches the phone for a THIRD time and starts RANTING at me about how all of this is inconvenient to HER! By this point, my patience is GONE!
Me: "Ma'am, this phone call is between me and your adult daughter. I will not discuss her issues with you. If you continue to interfere with my interview with her, I will terminate this phone call immediately!"
New voice: "But she's only (daughter's age) and I KNOW EVERYTHING!"
Me: "This is NOT ABOUT YOU! GET OFF THE PHONE, PUT YOUR DAUGHTER BACK ON THE LINE OR I AM HANGING UP! I WILL NOT DISCUSS ANY OF HER BUSINESS WITH YOU!"
Nmother huffed but I was finally able to complete the intake with the original caller without any further interference. Sheesh!!!!!!
Bones
-
N's are everywhere. I guess it is up to us to try to keep them, at bay, the best we can. You did great with that woman's M, Bones. Well done! Hugs, Ami
-
N's are everywhere. I guess it is up to us to try to keep them, at bay, the best we can. You did great with that woman's M, Bones. Well done! Hugs, Ami
Thanks, Ami.
Some of the calls I get can be really challenging at times!
Bones
-
Well, Bones.
It is hard trying to maintain, ourselves as we walk through the world. It is hard trying to get ourselves, first of all, and then maintain ourselves, in the face of other people's attempts to undermine us , at times.
You are doing really well, Bones. Love Ami
-
Oh my gosh Bones,
Your conversation sounded just like my older Narcissistic sister was on the phone. But she would TRY and usually win when speaking for her adult son. Grrrrrrrr
God for you!!! and good for her daughter, giving her a voice.
Job well done. ((seasons))
-
Well, Bones.
It is hard trying to maintain, ourselves as we walk through the world. It is hard trying to get ourselves, first of all, and then maintain ourselves, in the face of other people's attempts to undermine us , at times.
You are doing really well, Bones. Love Ami
Thanks, Ami!
Bones
-
Oh my gosh Bones,
Your conversation sounded just like my older Narcissistic sister was on the phone. But she would TRY and usually win when speaking for her adult son. Grrrrrrrr
God for you!!! and good for her daughter, giving her a voice.
Job well done. ((seasons))
Thanks, Seasons.
At times, I do get N's on the phone who try to curse at me demanding that they are ENTITLED to what they want! One started screaming F-bombs because there were no openings available yet and I simply hung up on her. No one should tolerate that kind of abuse.
Bones
-
Ditto what Seasons said.
Good lesson for the daughter, to hear someone authoritatively tell her Nmother...NO!
Bravo, Bones.
Hops
-
Bones,
I really enjoyed reading about that phone interaction. Wow - - you held fast!! Not so very long ago at all, I would not have even recognized the major boundary intrusions going on in that incident. Thank God for growing up! Sure wish everybody'd try it :D
Thanks for sharing here!
Love,
Carolyn
-
Ditto what Seasons said.
Good lesson for the daughter, to hear someone authoritatively tell her Nmother...NO!
Bravo, Bones.
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
Bones
-
Bones,
I really enjoyed reading about that phone interaction. Wow - - you held fast!! Not so very long ago at all, I would not have even recognized the major boundary intrusions going on in that incident. Thank God for growing up! Sure wish everybody'd try it :D
Thanks for sharing here!
Love,
Carolyn
You're welcome, Carolyn, and thanks!
Bones
-
Just need to rant today.
After bf was blabbering all week about taking me out on a date on Sunday to a restaurant, he changed the plans at the last minute because HE had more important things to do for himself and couldn't understand why I was so upset. I told him, point blank, that if he wanted to act like a roommate, then that is ALL he's going to get from me!
Bones
-
Sorry, Bones. I can tell you felt dissapointed and perhaps, unloved or uncared for. I hope your b/f can understand your feelings and give you a little TLC, anyway.
Maybe, he can give you a raincheck. I hope so. Love Ami
-
Oh, Bones... I remember dear Mr. Blueberry. Sounds like he needs a crash course in Remedial Romance 101!
Good for you, for telling him straight up what the problem is.
You know him best, but if he's just an ordinary guy... I'd say the fact that he's clueless :shock: pretty much comes with the territory :P and he's not unique in that. Takes alot of instruction to housebreak ermm... I mean, train... a male :lol:
and I'm only partly kiddin!
((((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))) here's one possibility:
sometimes, I've found, when they make an announcement/hoopla like Mr. B did about this dinner date, they're testing the waters and feeling out your reaction.
If you keep it low-key and don't gush all over the place about their ideas, they may decide that it's not really a big deal to you after all, so no harm done if they renig. I know, I know... it's frustrating, but from my experience, he'll always take the path of least resistance... so if I don't show enough excitement about a proposal, that may be the last time I hear a word about it.
Unless, maybe, he was about to pop the question on that date and then chickened out. :o Oh, how my mind doth wander!
Well, either way, he needs that crash course, for sure!
If you've the patience, he may be educable!
Love,
Carolyn
-
Sorry, Bones. I can tell you felt dissapointed and perhaps, unloved or uncared for. I hope your b/f can understand your feelings and give you a little TLC, anyway.
Maybe, he can give you a raincheck. I hope so. Love Ami
He's too clueless to be bothered to do that. This is someone who chose work over attending my graduation after he was given FOUR YEARS NOTICE! He tells me NOTHING about ANYTHING, his family, his graduation, NOTHING and I'm TIRED OF TALKING TO A BLANK WALL!
Bones
-
Oh, Bones... I remember dear Mr. Blueberry. Sounds like he needs a crash course in Remedial Romance 101!
Good for you, for telling him straight up what the problem is.
You know him best, but if he's just an ordinary guy... I'd say the fact that he's clueless :shock: pretty much comes with the territory :P and he's not unique in that. Takes alot of instruction to housebreak ermm... I mean, train... a male :lol:
and I'm only partly kiddin!
((((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))) here's one possibility:
sometimes, I've found, when they make an announcement/hoopla like Mr. B did about this dinner date, they're testing the waters and feeling out your reaction.
If you keep it low-key and don't gush all over the place about their ideas, they may decide that it's not really a big deal to you after all, so no harm done if they renig. I know, I know... it's frustrating, but from my experience, he'll always take the path of least resistance... so if I don't show enough excitement about a proposal, that may be the last time I hear a word about it.
Unless, maybe, he was about to pop the question on that date and then chickened out. :o Oh, how my mind doth wander!
Well, either way, he needs that crash course, for sure!
If you've the patience, he may be educable!
Love,
Carolyn
After over SEVEN YEARS of TRYING, my patience is GONE!
Bones
-
I hear you, Bones. It's perfectly understandable that you'd be tired of waiting for some reciprocity.
I'm wondering... do you think that you've changed alot over the course of those seven years?
I mean, have your views/feelings about yourself, your needs and desires and expectations... have these taken new directions, with more fullness and depth?
That's how it's been for me and that's definitely disorienting at times... especially within the context of older relationships (from when I was the old me :P)
Helps to take a fresh inventory, I think.
Also wondering... have you ever asked Blueberry Dude what is his goal in your relationship? If you want to share... and I'd sure understand if you don't... what was his response when you told him the facts of life in this last confrontation?
Love,
Carolyn
-
((((((((((Bones))))))))))
Sounds like that really hurt.
Is it hurt beneath the anger?
I am dittoing all Carolyn's wonderful questions,
so just a hug for the hurt in the meantime...
love,
Hops
-
I hear you, Bones. It's perfectly understandable that you'd be tired of waiting for some reciprocity.
I'm wondering... do you think that you've changed alot over the course of those seven years?
I mean, have your views/feelings about yourself, your needs and desires and expectations... have these taken new directions, with more fullness and depth?
That's how it's been for me and that's definitely disorienting at times... especially within the context of older relationships (from when I was the old me :P)
Helps to take a fresh inventory, I think.
Also wondering... have you ever asked Blueberry Dude what is his goal in your relationship? If you want to share... and I'd sure understand if you don't... what was his response when you told him the facts of life in this last confrontation?
Love,
Carolyn
Thanks, Carolyn!
I'm hoping that I've grown some. As for Blueberry Dude, I've asked him point-blank and I either get a blank stare or he'll respond with: "I dunno".
Bones
-
((((((((((Bones))))))))))
Sounds like that really hurt.
Is it hurt beneath the anger?
I am dittoing all Carolyn's wonderful questions,
so just a hug for the hurt in the meantime...
love,
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
I don't know what he wants from me and I'm tired of trying to figure it out.
Bones
-
Bones: I am with you!! Seven years with a serial bitcher who I cannot please, who I walk on eggshells around, who is defensive and stupid. I am on my way (mentally) out the door............
-
Oh, Bones... I'm sorry. He probably really doesn't know what it is he wants... other than to just blithely float through life in a noncommittal sorta way. That's my own spin on it, sure, but does seem to be a common theme.
And I do believe that you've grown alot. Just wondered whether you saw it in yourself... and if that new growth has brought about maybe some new dreams (or revitalization of some old ones).
You've always seemed so interested in learning new things/skills...
maybe some of that can be transferred over into the area of your personal life, as well?
It's never too late to develop new.. ermm... interests, you know.
Just kinda thinking aloud here, of course.
I've made the error (several times) of thinking that I needed to be in a relationship in order to be complete, so... that clearly can lead to some serious troubles.
Are you thinking that you might be ready to just fly solo?
Seems like you're feeling as though you pretty much already are alone!
((((((Bones))))))) I know that feeling, too.
Maybe the moral of the story is... it's not about what he wants, but rather about what you want?
Love,
Carolyn
-
Bones: I am with you!! Seven years with a serial bitcher who I cannot please, who I walk on eggshells around, who is defensive and stupid. I am on my way (mentally) out the door............
Or someone who is passive-aggressive....making promises that he conveniently forgets and/or never follows through with.
Bones
-
Oh, Bones... I'm sorry. He probably really doesn't know what it is he wants... other than to just blithely float through life in a noncommittal sorta way. That's my own spin on it, sure, but does seem to be a common theme.
And I do believe that you've grown alot. Just wondered whether you saw it in yourself... and if that new growth has brought about maybe some new dreams (or revitalization of some old ones).
You've always seemed so interested in learning new things/skills...
maybe some of that can be transferred over into the area of your personal life, as well?
It's never too late to develop new.. ermm... interests, you know.
Just kinda thinking aloud here, of course.
I've made the error (several times) of thinking that I needed to be in a relationship in order to be complete, so... that clearly can lead to some serious troubles.
Are you thinking that you might be ready to just fly solo?
Seems like you're feeling as though you pretty much already are alone!
((((((Bones))))))) I know that feeling, too.
Maybe the moral of the story is... it's not about what he wants, but rather about what you want?
Love,
Carolyn
True, that. Having been alone most of my life, it shouldn't feel new flying solo.
Bones
-
Bones, are you thinking of setting some ultimatums?
It's difficult stuff...
if you want to talk about it, ever, I'll listen.
Love,
Carolyn
-
Bones, are you thinking of setting some ultimatums?
It's difficult stuff...
if you want to talk about it, ever, I'll listen.
Love,
Carolyn
I'm trying to figure out how to word the ultimatums so they don't come off sounding hysterical or so angry that they are ineffective.
Bones
-
Bones, do you love Mr. B?
-
Bones, do you love Mr. B?
I'm beginning to question that as well.
Bones
-
((((((Bones)))))) I question that too, at times. Not often, but there are moments... usually when I'm feeling taken for granted.
Maybe the main thing he should know now is that you need to know what are his expectations/goals for your relationship?
Just that... and then give him a deadline if you want to? Oh, and tell him that a blank stare is not a response! Maybe he'll have to get some help/counseling in order to learn how to sort through the cobwebs and come to a resolution?
I'm guessing aloud here, what do you think?
Love,
Carolyn
-
((((((Bones)))))) I question that too, at times. Not often, but there are moments... usually when I'm feeling taken for granted.
Maybe the main thing he should know now is that you need to know what are his expectations/goals for your relationship?
Just that... and then give him a deadline if you want to? Oh, and tell him that a blank stare is not a response! Maybe he'll have to get some help/counseling in order to learn how to sort through the cobwebs and come to a resolution?
I'm guessing aloud here, what do you think?
Love,
Carolyn
I've even suggested couples counseling......he refused. He believes he can solve problems without it.
Bones
-
Dear Bones,
Sounds like it's time to do more than suggest.
Counseling may be the best immediate investment that he could make into your future as a couple...
whether he goes alone or you two go together.
It's okay for you to not know how to approach him... or to address your issues with the relationship you two have, you know?
This is tricky stuff.
And it's okay for him to not know how to respond.
But it's a stalemate for now... unless one of you chooses to take a stand, isn't it?
This is just me, but I do think I'd take a stand for counseling. To my mind, that's the least someone can do in order to show a sincere interest in growing the relationship.
Love,
Carolyn
P.S. I read your latest installment on your story thread and I'm so sorry that woman managed to taint your present-day experience that way.
Just wishing you would go out and buy a brand new, spiffy bathing suit... in honor of yourself, today!
Shopping is not my thing, but if I were there, I'd go with you!
And I can imagine the frustration that's been attached to your handicrafting. When you've never been allowed to have anything for yourself, simply because it's special to you and uniquely yours, it's very demoralizing to have someone constantly saying, "Gimme!" and refusing to acknowledge the value of the gift you have to offer... at your own discretion!
-
Dear Bones,
Sounds like it's time to do more than suggest.
Counseling may be the best immediate investment that he could make into your future as a couple...
whether he goes alone or you two go together.
It's okay for you to not know how to approach him... or to address your issues with the relationship you two have, you know?
This is tricky stuff.
And it's okay for him to not know how to respond.
But it's a stalemate for now... unless one of you chooses to take a stand, isn't it?
This is just me, but I do think I'd take a stand for counseling. To my mind, that's the least someone can do in order to show a sincere interest in growing the relationship.
Love,
Carolyn
P.S. I read your latest installment on your story thread and I'm so sorry that woman managed to taint your present-day experience that way.
Just wishing you would go out and buy a brand new, spiffy bathing suit... in honor of yourself, today!
Shopping is not my thing, but if I were there, I'd go with you!
And I can imagine the frustration that's been attached to your handicrafting. When you've never been allowed to have anything for yourself, simply because it's special to you and uniquely yours, it's very demoralizing to have someone constantly saying, "Gimme!" and refusing to acknowledge the value of the gift you have to offer... at your own discretion!
Thanks, Carolyn!
I'm still trying to process a lot of things. There's so much going through my mind and emotions that it feels like it's all a jumble.
Bones
-
Dear Bones,
This is going to sound elementary cuz it is(lol), but I got some e books on how to communicate with men and they really, really helped. There are some things that men and women see totally differently.Understanding that helps to mend fences and build bridges in an easy way.
Sending greetings to you, Bones. Love Ami
-
Thanks, Carolyn!
I'm still trying to process a lot of things. There's so much going through my mind and emotions that it feels like it's all a jumble.
ny
Bones
I understand, Bones. My suggesting a buncha stuff may only create more jumbling. Just give a holler anytime, okay? I'm pleased to listen and even spout off, as requested :)
Would it help you to make a list of pros and cons?
I know, kinda lame, but that's always helped me to sort.
Love,
Carolyn
-
Thanks, Carolyn!
I'm still trying to process a lot of things. There's so much going through my mind and emotions that it feels like it's all a jumble.
ny
Bones
I understand, Bones. My suggesting a buncha stuff may only create more jumbling. Just give a holler anytime, okay? I'm pleased to listen and even spout off, as requested :)
Would it help you to make a list of pros and cons?
I know, kinda lame, but that's always helped me to sort.
Love,
Carolyn
I usually make such a list. Right now, I'm trying to work through the jumble of emotions before I can think.
Bones
-
Bones, when I get that way, it's usually time to let go and have a good cry.
Love,
Carolyn
-
Bones, when I get that way, it's usually time to let go and have a good cry.
Love,
Carolyn
I can't cry right now either. In fact, I'm getting a headache so I'm going to log off, take some acetominophen and go to bed.
Bones
-
((((((((((Bones)))))))))) I'm sorry it's so painful and such a turmoil for you now.
You're in my prayers and I hope you're able to rest well.
Love,
Carolyn
-
((((((((((Bones)))))))))) I'm sorry it's so painful and such a turmoil for you now.
You're in my prayers and I hope you're able to rest well.
Love,
Carolyn
Thanks, Carolyn.
Dealing with the beginning of a migraine is no fun. I don't get them often but when I do, I try to nip it in the bud before it becomes full blown.
Bones
-
Thanks, Carolyn.
Dealing with the beginning of a migraine is no fun. I don't get them often but when I do, I try to nip it in the bud before it becomes full blown.
Bones
You're welcome, Bones. Same here... it's rare, but can be really nasty. Keeping the drapes drawn when the tingling of one begins sometimes helps, too.
Bright flashes of light trigger mine, quite often.
Hope you feel better... and continue to feel better!
Love,
Carolyn
-
Thanks, Carolyn.
Dealing with the beginning of a migraine is no fun. I don't get them often but when I do, I try to nip it in the bud before it becomes full blown.
Bones
You're welcome, Bones. Same here... it's rare, but can be really nasty. Keeping the drapes drawn when the tingling of one begins sometimes helps, too.
Bright flashes of light trigger mine, quite often.
Hope you feel better... and continue to feel better!
Love,
Carolyn
Thanks, Carolyn.
I'm feeling a bit better today.
Bones
-
Thanks, Carolyn.
I'm feeling a bit better today.
Bones
I'm so glad, Bones!
Here's hoping those migraines will make themselves even more scarce from now on... or better yet, just leave the scene entirely!
Love,
Carolyn
-
Ever tried the herb feverfew for migraine, Bones?
Sending you some love for your achy heart and a big hug just on principle,
Hops
-
Bones, are you still working weekends? Or do you have some extra time through the summer for some potential... fun?
Hope you'll take time to relax and restore over the next couple of days... and that you'll find something to make you smile.
I have to give my very large ponygirl-dawg a bath (oh my, does she smell, after being in her pen outdoors). It's quite a procedure, involving multiple buckets of warm water and the garden hose, a giant sponge and soft scrub-brush, and at least one of my kids to act as wrangler. So strange to dread something so much... and yet it makes me smile, every time :)
Just thinking of you.
With love,
Carolyn
-
Thanks, Carolyn.
I'm feeling a bit better today.
Bones
I'm so glad, Bones!
Here's hoping those migraines will make themselves even more scarce from now on... or better yet, just leave the scene entirely!
Love,
Carolyn
Thanks, Carolyn!
Bones
-
Ever tried the herb feverfew for migraine, Bones?
Sending you some love for your achy heart and a big hug just on principle,
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
I used to have a feverfew plant but it died some years back. When this migraine started, I didn't have access to the herb so I had to use acetominophen and a darkened room instead.
Bones
-
Bones, are you still working weekends? Or do you have some extra time through the summer for some potential... fun?
Hope you'll take time to relax and restore over the next couple of days... and that you'll find something to make you smile.
I have to give my very large ponygirl-dawg a bath (oh my, does she smell, after being in her pen outdoors). It's quite a procedure, involving multiple buckets of warm water and the garden hose, a giant sponge and soft scrub-brush, and at least one of my kids to act as wrangler. So strange to dread something so much... and yet it makes me smile, every time :)
Just thinking of you.
With love,
Carolyn
My weekends have been freed up a bit during the summer so I'm doing stuff like participating in a study involving exercise. You might have gotten something in the mail about it being the largest study involving women.
Bones
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My weekends have been freed up a bit during the summer so I'm doing stuff like participating in a study involving exercise. You might have gotten something in the mail about it being the largest study involving women.
Bones
I'm thinking this must be the one, Bones? The Curves/Avon study? http://valleynews.com/TheValley/Stories/Health/Fitness-Diet/Story~480510.aspx (http://valleynews.com/TheValley/Stories/Health/Fitness-Diet/Story~480510.aspx)
Wow... approximately 200,000 women participating. I wasn't aware, but it sounds like a great challenge... especially if it provides some useful data. Making the commitment to participate for that would definitely be a good incentive to stick with it.
Hope you're enjoying it and feeling the benefits, too!
Love,
Carolyn
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Hi Bones
Thinking of you. I love to exercise, so I am lucky, I guess. Happy Exercising! Love Ami
-
Bones,
I'm wondering... do you have to go to a Curves place or can you do your exercise routine at home and record your results?
The online weight management program looks really neat, too. That's cool they give you a 30 day free trial on it!
Hope you're enjoying!
Love,
Carolyn
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My weekends have been freed up a bit during the summer so I'm doing stuff like participating in a study involving exercise. You might have gotten something in the mail about it being the largest study involving women.
Bones
I'm thinking this must be the one, Bones? The Curves/Avon study? http://valleynews.com/TheValley/Stories/Health/Fitness-Diet/Story~480510.aspx (http://valleynews.com/TheValley/Stories/Health/Fitness-Diet/Story~480510.aspx)
Wow... approximately 200,000 women participating. I wasn't aware, but it sounds like a great challenge... especially if it provides some useful data. Making the commitment to participate for that would definitely be a good incentive to stick with it.
Hope you're enjoying it and feeling the benefits, too!
Love,
Carolyn
Thanks, Carolyn!
I'm definitely feeling the benefits! Since it's been only one week since I started, my weight hasn't changed yet.
Bones
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Hi Bones
Thinking of you. I love to exercise, so I am lucky, I guess. Happy Exercising! Love Ami
Thanks, Ami!
I'm still gradually working on my stamina given that my joints are not in the best of shape!
Bones
-
Bones,
I'm wondering... do you have to go to a Curves place or can you do your exercise routine at home and record your results?
The online weight management program looks really neat, too. That's cool they give you a 30 day free trial on it!
Hope you're enjoying!
Love,
Carolyn
I have to go to the Curves place which is about a ten minute drive from my door. Not a bad drive, plus it is within walking distance of my grocery store so I can get bottle water and a salad, plus walk around the shopping center after I work out.
Bones
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Sounds great, Bones... and convenient!
One of the disadvantages of living so rural is not having such neat stuff nearby, but I'll be thinking of you as I run the dogs (or rather, they run me) around the field... lol. Have fun!
Love,
Carolyn
-
Sounds great, Bones... and convenient!
One of the disadvantages of living so rural is not having such neat stuff nearby, but I'll be thinking of you as I run the dogs (or rather, they run me) around the field... lol. Have fun!
Love,
Carolyn
Thanks, Carolyn!
The only downside is that it is closed on Sundays.
Bones
-
Oh, that's a bummer, Bones!
Do you get that "Fit TV" channel?
I don't know whether it would count toward your time commitment with Curves, but they have some really good programs that get me moving!
It's fun, too! Although sometimes I can't keep up... lol.
At least that would keep you in the swing of things, while you have the free time.
Love,
Carolyn
-
Oh, that's a bummer, Bones!
Do you get that "Fit TV" channel?
I don't know whether it would count toward your time commitment with Curves, but they have some really good programs that get me moving!
It's fun, too! Although sometimes I can't keep up... lol.
At least that would keep you in the swing of things, while you have the free time.
Love,
Carolyn
I don't get cable because the only cable TV company in my area has a bad reputation and I'm not inclined to give my money to idiots.
I found other ways to exercise on Sunday, (i.e. the fitness room and the pool where I live), so that helped.
Bones
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O. Well then you wouldn't like our satellite company, either! :lol:
And I forgot you've got access to kewl stuff like a fitness room and pool... that's super!
Shoulda known you'd have that all sorted out.
Hope you'll have a great week, dear Bones.
Love,
Carolyn
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O. Well then you wouldn't like our satellite company, either! :lol:
And I forgot you've got access to kewl stuff like a fitness room and pool... that's super!
Shoulda known you'd have that all sorted out.
Hope you'll have a great week, dear Bones.
Love,
Carolyn
Thanks, Carolyn.
BTW, all's quiet on the western front, for now, where NDoofus is concerned. Since I have not responded to any of her junk e-mails, they have slowed down considerably to a trickle.
Bones
-
Thanks, Carolyn.
BTW, all's quiet on the western front, for now, where NDoofus is concerned. Since I have not responded to any of her junk e-mails, they have slowed down considerably to a trickle.
Bones
I'm glad for you, Bones!
And it's the same here... seems like it goes in fits and spurts, but not much lately.
It's such a relief to just stay out of the N-orbit!
Happy Tuesday to you :)
Love,
Carolyn
-
Thanks, Carolyn.
BTW, all's quiet on the western front, for now, where NDoofus is concerned. Since I have not responded to any of her junk e-mails, they have slowed down considerably to a trickle.
Bones
I'm glad for you, Bones!
And it's the same here... seems like it goes in fits and spurts, but not much lately.
It's such a relief to just stay out of the N-orbit!
Happy Tuesday to you :)
Love,
Carolyn
Thanks, Carolyn!
It seems I get one junk e-mail a month from her now.
Bones
-
Bones,
I'm down to about 1 every 3 weeks or so, but the last one wasn't spam... it was actually several lines of personal communication. I didn't respond.
Kinda been down that road once too often, already.
Love,
Carolyn
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Bones,
I'm down to about 1 every 3 weeks or so, but the last one wasn't spam... it was actually several lines of personal communication. I didn't respond.
Kinda been down that road once too often, already.
Love,
Carolyn
NDoofus just sent me one impersonal junk e-mail yesterday that I simply deleted without comment. I have no idea what is going on between her ears.
Bones
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NDoofus just sent me one impersonal junk e-mail yesterday that I simply deleted without comment. I have no idea what is going on between her ears.
Bones
Bones,
Maybe you are habit-forming :o I mean, for her, forwarding junk mail to you is a habit, perhaps?
On the other hand, I had a relative who put me on the mailing list so that her condo association newletter was sent to me (1,000 miles away) monthly.
To me, that was junk mail... it had absolutely nothing to do with her, personally.
And I still have relatives who forward their junk mail to me in the form of magazines, etc... and sometimes it appears that they haven't read this stuff themselves.
I could understand a bit, if there were some particular article of interest hilighted, but it really is nothing but rubbish!
Dunno.
Happy Friday, Bones!
Love,
Carolyn
-
NDoofus just sent me one impersonal junk e-mail yesterday that I simply deleted without comment. I have no idea what is going on between her ears.
Bones
Bones,
Maybe you are habit-forming :o I mean, for her, forwarding junk mail to you is a habit, perhaps?
On the other hand, I had a relative who put me on the mailing list so that her condo association newletter was sent to me (1,000 miles away) monthly.
To me, that was junk mail... it had absolutely nothing to do with her, personally.
And I still have relatives who forward their junk mail to me in the form of magazines, etc... and sometimes it appears that they haven't read this stuff themselves.
I could understand a bit, if there were some particular article of interest hilighted, but it really is nothing but rubbish!
Dunno.
Happy Friday, Bones!
Love,
Carolyn
Well, NDoofus sent me a personalized e-mail asking me if anything was wrong. (DUH! :roll: :P) I told her I am ANGRY and that I need time to think! She asks if I am angry in general or angry at her. (Double DUH!!!!) I SHOUTED at her that I AM ANGRY AT HER AND LEAVE ME ALONE AND LET ME THINK! Her response? "Well, we can continue this conversation via e-mail or you can call me at work. I have a meeting and BLAH, BLAH, BLAH......" NDoofus has gotta be dumber than a bucket of rocks!!!!!
Bones
-
Well, NDoofus sent me a personalized e-mail asking me if anything was wrong. (DUH! :roll: :P) I told her I am ANGRY and that I need time to think! She asks if I am angry in general or angry at her. (Double DUH!!!!) I SHOUTED at her that I AM ANGRY AT HER AND LEAVE ME ALONE AND LET ME THINK! Her response? "Well, we can continue this conversation via e-mail or you can call me at work. I have a meeting and BLAH, BLAH, BLAH......" NDoofus has gotta be dumber than a bucket of rocks!!!!!
Bones
Bones...
Are you really thinking about what you might want to say to her?
Or are you avoiding her?
Just asking because... if you've really made up your mind already, that you don't want to hear from her again, then just saying that to her directly can be so liberating!
On the other hand, if you've not decided, definitely, that you want to close the door on further communication... then she has no reason to stop contacting you.
I'm sorry if you have already said you told her that and I've forgotten... but I don't recall you ever drawing that final boundary?
Love,
Carolyn
-
Hi Bones,
Just saying "howdy". Thinking of you and your exercise program. Find an exercise you enjoy, use an I pod, if you have one, and forget about everything else , except the movement. I like to do that. Talk to you soon. Warmly, Ami
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Well, NDoofus sent me a personalized e-mail asking me if anything was wrong. (DUH! :roll: :P) I told her I am ANGRY and that I need time to think! She asks if I am angry in general or angry at her. (Double DUH!!!!) I SHOUTED at her that I AM ANGRY AT HER AND LEAVE ME ALONE AND LET ME THINK! Her response? "Well, we can continue this conversation via e-mail or you can call me at work. I have a meeting and BLAH, BLAH, BLAH......" NDoofus has gotta be dumber than a bucket of rocks!!!!!
Bones
Bones...
Are you really thinking about what you might want to say to her?
Or are you avoiding her?
Just asking because... if you've really made up your mind already, that you don't want to hear from her again, then just saying that to her directly can be so liberating!
On the other hand, if you've not decided, definitely, that you want to close the door on further communication... then she has no reason to stop contacting you.
I'm sorry if you have already said you told her that and I've forgotten... but I don't recall you ever drawing that final boundary?
Love,
Carolyn
Right now I am not talking to her. Basically she's responding the same way she did when her sister tried to talk directly to her about her inappropriate behaviors...continuing to be obtuse and ignoring the obvious.
Bones
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Hi Bones,
Just saying "howdy". Thinking of you and your exercise program. Fnd sn exercise you enjoy, use an I pod, if you have one, and forget about everything else , except the movement. I like to do that. Talk to you soon. Warmly, Ami
Thanks, Ami.
The exercise program uses computers, music and a timer over the loudspeaker so it helps to focus on exercise and not deal with anything else.
Bones
-
Right now I am not talking to her. Basically she's responding the same way she did when her sister tried to talk directly to her about her inappropriate behaviors...continuing to be obtuse and ignoring the obvious.
Bones
I understand, Bones.
Guess she's either made the deliberate choice to be obtuse... or else she doesn't have the wherewithal to do differently.
If not talking to her gives you peace, then that's great. I only wondered whether you'd ever told her, point blank, "I prefer that you do not email me anymore."
Not that it'll change her one iota, but making such a clear statement of preference, when necessary, has changed me, personally, alot!
Love,
Carolyn
-
Right now I am not talking to her. Basically she's responding the same way she did when her sister tried to talk directly to her about her inappropriate behaviors...continuing to be obtuse and ignoring the obvious.
Bones
I understand, Bones.
Guess she's either made the deliberate choice to be obtuse... or else she doesn't have the wherewithal to do differently.
If not talking to her gives you peace, then that's great. I only wondered whether you'd ever told her, point blank, "I prefer that you do not email me anymore."
Not that it'll change her one iota, but making such a clear statement of preference, when necessary, has changed me, personally, alot!
Love,
Carolyn
So far, she has left me alone. As far as telling her point blank, I have watched her family members tell her point blank "NO!" several times within a span of 20 minutes. After it reached the point where they were cussing and SCREAMING at her, she gave them the glassy-eyed blank stare, blinked a couple of times, then asked: "Does that mean 'No'?" Like I said, dumb as a bucket of rocks or, as you said, being deliberately obtuse.
Bones
Bones
-
hi
You could change your email address and be done with her.
I did that when I was inundated with viruses, and she is a virus, and I think the N had something to do with it. It was scary.
-
hi
You could change your email address and be done with her.
I did that when I was inundated with viruses, and she is a virus, and I think the N had something to do with it. It was scary.
Because my e-mail address is on my resume' that I've distributed to many places while trying to search for certification/licensure opportunities, changing it would impact these opportunities. The same goes with the phone number. So far, she has left me alone. If she decides to resume harassing me, I could get a court order telling her cease and desist or else.
Bones
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Just wanted to comment that a few days ago, on a daytime TV show, they had a segment on "Children of the Self-Absorbed" where two women were interviewed about what it was like living with Narcissistic mothers.
Bones
-
Haven't been feeling physically well since Thursday and I don't know why.
Bones
-
Bones - what program did you see about N mothers? Were they able to describe their experience in a way that really portrays the horror?
-
Bones - what program did you see about N mothers? Were they able to describe their experience in a way that really portrays the horror?
It was a Fox 5 morning show called "Mike and Juliet". I was only able to catch bits and pieces here and there because I was at work and the crisis lines were ringing. What little I could catch had two daughters of two different Nmothers describing what they endured.
Bones
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Found this blog posted on an Autistic Tourist site. Fortunately, for the victim, the incident occurred in Virginia. This soon-to-be-ex wife sounds like an N! :P
http://www.freewebs.com/lifewiththents/weblog.htm
Bones
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So far, (knock on wood), NDoofus has left me alone.
I did have a blow-up with blueberry when he backed out, at the last minute, from an event we had been planning for three months. Blueberry knows that he's on extremely thin ice given that he has a habit of doing the same stuff repeatedly. I told him that "if nothing changes, nothing changes" and I'm ready to make some changes that I know he won't like! He attempted to give me flowers and I gave the flowers back telling him that the same old behaviors does NOT fix this problem! The problem can no longer be ignored by him and I am done! He's making other efforts to make amends so I have to give him credit for trying.
Bones
-
I know that bf meant well but I wish he had talked to me before he contacted NDoofus to tell her about my recent medical problems. I have not been feeling well for 2 to 3 weeks to the extent that it was affecting my job performance. My job performance has deteriorated where I am at the risk of being fired. When I saw my doctor, she did an EKG and it came back abnormal. I'm on unpaid medical leave while I undergo a battery of tests to see exactly what is going on with my heart. Once all the results are in, then I have to make a decision regarding my ability to continue the job I have been doing for the past year or if I have to file for disability.
For now, I'm dealing with e-mails from NDoofus asking what she can do to "help" me. :P
Bones
-
Dear Bones
I am sorry you are not feeling well. My heart goes out to you, dear. I wish all is well. You have certainly been through enough sorrow for 10 people's lifetimes with an NM like you had. Ami
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Dear Bones
I am sorry you are not feeling well. My heart goes out to you, dear. I wish all is well. You have certainly been through enough sorrow for 10 people's lifetimes with an NM like you had. Ami
Thanks, Ami.
I'm still awaiting the results of my nuclear stress test. Not knowing is making me nervous. When I was in the cardiology office, I had to fill out a questionnaire regarding my family medical history. Both parents had a history of heart problems and this is one genetic "gift" I could do without.
Bones
-
I am thinking of you, Bones. It sounds really scary to be waiting for test results. My heart goes out to you,friend. I will be awaiting good news. Ami
-
I am thinking of you, Bones. It sounds really scary to be waiting for test results. My heart goes out to you,friend. I will be awaiting good news. Ami
Thanks, Ami.
To top it off, I get a phone call from NDoofus last night asking me about my health and test results. I was too tired to fuss much....just did not have the energy. Then she tells me that her youngest sister has been diagnosed with esophogeal cancer that may have mestastisized to her liver. This sister is younger than I am. I can empathize for her sister as I have had family members who died of cancer and I've seen how much pain they are in. Hopefully, facing her sister's mortality will be a wakeup call for NDoofus. NDoofus also informed me that she apologized to her other sister for violating her boundaries and that her sister accepted her apology. (I have to say, that is progress.) She stated that she is frightened for both her sister and me because of what each of us are facing. For now, I'm just focusing on resting as much as possible and trying to eat nutritious meals. BF is bringing me yogurt, milke, juice and cereal. Basically, I'm just trying to deal with this one day at a time.
Bones
-
Dear Bones
It sounds really, really hard. I am sorry you are going through this! Ami
-
Dear Bones
It sounds really, really hard. I am sorry you are going through this! Ami
Thanks, Ami.
NDoofus "dropped by" to bring me a salad. BF intercepted her in the hallway to prevent her aggravating me. (He understands how she can get on my nerves.)
Bones
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Dear Bones,
N Doofus is so much like my M, clueless. Hope you get the test results,soon. Ami
-
Dear Bones,
N Doofus is so much like my M, clueless. Hope you get the test results,soon. Ami
Thanks, Ami.
I'm doing a sleep study tonight but don't know how quickly the results will be available. I'll have two more tests after that and will be consulting with my primary physician next week.
Bones
-
I am thinking of you, Bones. It sounds really scary to be waiting for test results. My heart goes out to you,friend. I will be awaiting good news. Ami
Thanks, Ami.
To top it off, I get a phone call from NDoofus last night asking me about my health and test results. I was too tired to fuss much....just did not have the energy. Then she tells me that her youngest sister has been diagnosed with esophogeal cancer that may have mestastisized to her liver. This sister is younger than I am. I can empathize for her sister as I have had family members who died of cancer and I've seen how much pain they are in. Hopefully, facing her sister's mortality will be a wakeup call for NDoofus. NDoofus also informed me that she apologized to her other sister for violating her boundaries and that her sister accepted her apology. (I have to say, that is progress.) She stated that she is frightened for both her sister and me because of what each of us are facing. For now, I'm just focusing on resting as much as possible and trying to eat nutritious meals. BF is bringing me yogurt, milke, juice and cereal. Basically, I'm just trying to deal with this one day at a time.
Bones
P.S.
At one point during her communications with me, she asked me to drive her sister to her chemotherapy appointments that are way over into another county. I told her that I cannot do it due to my own health issues. She just blathered on about how their family was willing to pay me. I finally had to raise my voice and state, unequivocally, that my health prevents me from driving long distances and that would put BOTH of us at risk! She finally backed off. (I HATE HAVING TO EXPLAIN THE OBVIOUS!) URGH! :P
Bones
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Dear Bones
N Doofus is so much like my M.Once my M was supposed to meet s/one at the subway station at a certain time to go in to Boston. She never showed up and the person went to the event without her.
Later ,my M showed up and had no idea why the person and was angry . My M thought the person was an angry jerk.
It is hopeless,Bone.
I am thinking of you, Bones. Ami
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Dear Bones
N Doofus is so much like my M.Once my M was supposed to meet s/one at the subway station at a certain time to go in to Boston. She never showed up and the person went to the event without her.
Later ,my M showed up and had no idea why the person and was angry . My M thought the person was an angry jerk.
It is hopeless,Bone.
I am thinking of you, Bones. Ami
Thanks, Ami!
BTW, I think I saw a clone of my Nmother on TV while I was watching Judge David Young. The plaintiff just oozed all kinds of NASTY venom toward her daughter and granddaughter while she was clearly playing favorites with her son and grandson. She even attempted to justify calling a 10-year-old girl all kinds of obscene names, including a derogatory racist name because the child is part Hispanic. Needless to say, Judge David WENT OFF ON THE PLAINTIFF BIG TIME!!!! Before she admitted to this, the judge asked his bailiff to escort the 10-year-old girl and 5-year-old boy from the courtroom. While clearly snubbing the 10-year-old girl, she wanted to say something else to the 5-year-old boy and the judge bluntly told her, "No, you may NOT!" When the judge made an observation about the 10-year-old being frightened, the plaintiff sneered and stated: "Crocodile tears!" That made Judge David angry, then he blew his stack when she attempted to justify her calling a young child obscene names. I was SO GLAD when the judge dismissed the plaintiff's case! (I found it interesting that the one of the defendants, the plaintiff's own daughter, had not called her mother, "Mom", for several years because of her obvious nastiness.)
Bones
-
Bones,
My best friend has been having a lot of cardiovascular problems, and the docs seem to think that her sleep apnea is causing a lot of it. I hope they find out soon what's up so you can get to feeling better.
cats paw
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Bones,
I'm so sorry to hear you've not been well.
Sending hopes for not-dire results and a very successful rejuvenation program.
I know you can do it!
love,
Hops
-
Bones,
My best friend has been having a lot of cardiovascular problems, and the docs seem to think that her sleep apnea is causing a lot of it. I hope they find out soon what's up so you can get to feeling better.
cats paw
Thanks, Cats Paw!
I'm seeing my primary care physician tomorrow afternoon.
Bones
-
Bones,
I'm so sorry to hear you've not been well.
Sending hopes for not-dire results and a very successful rejuvenation program.
I know you can do it!
love,
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
I'm hoping to hear some good news.
Bones
-
Not all of the test results have come in so we don't have a "big picture" yet. I'll be seeing the cardiologist on Tuesday morning.
Bones
-
I got a phone call from the doctor's office that conducted the sleep study. They didn't tell me the results on the phone and they want to meet with me, in person, on September 11th.
On top of it all, I'm going to have to ask bf if he can deal with NDoofus because her old behaviors are starting up again and I have no energy to deal with her stupidity. I'm still awaiting all of the test results and will be meeting with the cardiologist tomorrow. Until I know what I'm dealing with, I've cut out red meat and eating more fruits and vegetables. NDoofus calls me telling me she wants to bring me a steak. I told her not now until I've finished meeting with my doctors and see if I have to be on a restricted diet regarding red meat. She starts blathering mindlessly about how she cooks the steak in olive oil. I told her, again, NOT NOW! She still kept blathering about how I should call her. I emphasized that bf is helping me for now and coordinate with him. URGH!!!!! :P
Bones
-
Bones,
Let us know, when you're able, how it went with the cardiologist this AM.
Glad you've got bf to deal with ND's balls that always seem to come out of left field.
cats paw
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Bones,
Let us know, when you're able, how it went with the cardiologist this AM.
Glad you've got bf to deal with ND's balls that always seem to come out of left field.
cats paw
Thanks, Cats Paw.
I just got home from the cardiologist a short time ago. I still have an abnormal EKG which indicates a blockage in one part of my heart. I'm NOT happy about the blockage so I have to focus on developiing a heart healthy diet and getting more exercise.
Bones
-
Hi Bones
Will execise unblock the problem? I think of exercise as a positive addiction. Ami
-
Hi Bones
Will execise unblock the problem? I think of exercise as a positive addiction. Ami
Thanks, Ami.
My primary physician is advising that I exercise. I've been trying to walk more even though I'm still feeling light-headed and dizzy.
Bones
-
Are you light headed and dizzy b/c of the heart blockage or don't they know? I am NOT saying this is the case for you,but when I get upset I get light headed . It took me a while to recognize what it was.This was the case for me,anyway. Ami
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Are you light headed and dizzy b/c of the heart blockage or don't they know? I am NOT saying this is the case for you,but when I get upset I get light headed . It took me a while to recognize what it was.This was the case for me,anyway. Ami
Thanks, Ami.
I was feeling lousy before I went to the doctor the first time. I was put on Lexapro (10 mg) and Trazadone (100 mg) for two weeks and my balance, light-headedness and dizziness got worse. The primary care physician is still in the process of adjusting my medication so it could still be a side effect of the meds. I'm concerned that heart symptoms are different for women than for men but the doctors keep talking about heart symptoms that are more commen in men as if they automatically apply to all women. At the cardiologist, while the doctor was recording his notes in a hand-held device, he kept emphasizing my GERD even though I recently started having abnormal EKGs. That worries me because if I go to the Emergency Room with unusual symptoms that could be indicative of a new heart problem, they could attempt to insist that it's GERD and send me back home while the symptoms continue. That could mean the difference between life and death.
Bones
-
In spite of asking bf to run interception regarding NDoofus, ND is still attempting to call every other day. I've gotten to the point that as soon as I see her number pop up, I let it go to the answering machine. Just like the "rescuer" who does not rescue, her type of "help" does NOT help! She does not ask what you need, she "announces" what she is going to do and expects you to go along with her ideas. When told, "No, that is not appropriate for this situation", she attempts to passively-aggressively force you to do what she wants and completely ignores the facts because she firmly believes that all of her assumptions are always, magically, true.
I've talked to bf again about her ramping up her pressure on me so he's going to see what he can do to get her to coordinate more with him and leave me alone.
Bones
-
Bones,
Your concerns about symptomology differences, as well as your concerns about GERD differential diagnoses if you ever go to the ER,
are valid subjects for your docs to discuss with you. Have they talked about doing further testing, and if not, their rationale for their decisions?
It's hard to have any kind of abnormal test, much less anything cardiac. I had hyperthyroidism before I went hypo, and I had lots of irregular heartbeats and dizziness. It was attributed to my thyroid, but it was still very worrisome while it was going on.
The other valid concerns are about where the blockage is and what that means. If they haven't explained these things to you, let them know that any further info to help mitigate your concerns would be appreciated.
You've probably done these things, I just wanted to say I think wanting to discuss your concerns with your docs is more than reasonable, and is your right as a patient.
cats paw
-
Bones,
Your concerns about symptomology differences, as well as your concerns about GERD differential diagnoses if you ever go to the ER,
are valid subjects for your docs to discuss with you. Have they talked about doing further testing, and if not, their rationale for their decisions?
It's hard to have any kind of abnormal test, much less anything cardiac. I had hyperthyroidism before I went hypo, and I had lots of irregular heartbeats and dizziness. It was attributed to my thyroid, but it was still very worrisome while it was going on.
The other valid concerns are about where the blockage is and what that means. If they haven't explained these things to you, let them know that any further info to help mitigate your concerns would be appreciated.
You've probably done these things, I just wanted to say I think wanting to discuss your concerns with your docs is more than reasonable, and is your right as a patient.
cats paw
Normally, I would have been asking a lot of questions. This time, I went into shock and couldn't verbalize much of anything that made any sense. (One of my Aspie symptoms.) I'm still trying to process this information so I can find a better way to verbalize what I need to.
Bones
-
Dear Bones
I know how hard it is to thinkn when you are in a stressful situation. I am sorry you are going through this. My heart goes out to you.
Ami
-
Dear Bones
I know how hard it is to thinkn when you are in a stressful situation. I am sorry you are going through this. My heart goes out to you.
Ami
Thanks, Ami!
I really appreciate it!
Bones
-
You are welcome, Bones!
I wish I could help you. It is so scary to go through these types of situations. I am thinking of you. Ami
-
You are welcome, Bones!
I wish I could help you. It is so scary to go through these types of situations. I am thinking of you. Ami
Thanks, Ami. I'm trying to deal with this one day at a time.
Bones
-
Sending you love and courage to build a strong heart, Bones.
The human body can renew and regenerate itself incredibly well.
I believe that if you adopt a very heart-healthy diet and regular exercise (can you join a cardiology-type exercise program? sometimes they're covered by insurance--ask your doc!)...and read Pritikin.
Heart disease (even blockage) IS reversible.
I KNOW you can build yourself a strong heart.
xxxxooo thinking of you,
Hops
-
Sending you love and courage to build a strong heart, Bones.
The human body can renew and regenerate itself incredibly well.
I believe that if you adopt a very heart-healthy diet and regular exercise (can you join a cardiology-type exercise program? sometimes they're covered by insurance--ask your doc!)...and read Pritikin.
Heart disease (even blockage) IS reversible.
I KNOW you can build yourself a strong heart.
xxxxooo thinking of you,
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
I'm trying by exploring vegetarian diets as well as trying to walk more. My medication is still being adjusted because the side effects make me very dizzy.
Bones
-
Dear Bones
Check in to a raw food diet. You get great energy. I think it is delicious,but you have to get used to it. Ami
-
Dear Bones
Check in to a raw food diet. You get great energy. I think it is delicious,but you have to get used to it. Ami
Thanks, Ami!
I'm exploring that as well. BF has been bringing me fresh salads. If I can get sushi and sashimi, (especially salmon and tuna), that helps as well.
Bones
-
When I eat raw food, I feel wonderful. I ,also, juice fruits and vegetables in a juicer. If you are interested, I could help you get started.
Ami
-
When I eat raw food, I feel wonderful. I ,also, juice fruits and vegetables in a juicer. If you are interested, I could help you get started.
Ami
Thanks, Ami.
I've also asked bf to assist me given that he is a vegetarian.
Bones
-
Dear Bones,
I am almost a vegetarian. Read up on raw foods and you will see the amazing stories of healing. Cooked food, even vegetarian, does not have the same results. Ami
-
Dear Bones,
I am almost a vegetarian. Read up on raw foods and you will see the amazing stories of healing. Cooked food, even vegetarian, does not have the same results. Ami
Thanks, Ami.
I'll check on that.
Bones
-
I'm scheduled to meet with the sleep study doctor to discuss the test results.
Bones
-
I am thinking of you,Bones. I am awaiting your update. Ami
-
I met with the sleep study doctor this morning and we discussed the findings from the study. He noticed that my oxygen level is low and that it drops lower when I sleep. He advised that I get additional tests on my lungs plus a chest x-ray to see why my oxygen levels are dropping. This does not sound good at all.
Bones
-
Sorry to hear about your results ((Bones)).
Your in my thoughts and prayers, hoping all is not too serious and you can get help. ox seasons
-
Sorry to hear about your results ((Bones)).
Your in my thoughts and prayers, hoping all is not too serious and you can get help. ox seasons
Thanks, Seasons.
One of the things that is being tested for is the possibility of COPD.
Bones
-
Thinking of you, Bones. Check out Dr Schultz and see what you think. His number is 1 800 Herb Doc. Ami
-
Could it be sleep apnea, Bones?
That's treatable!
Or maybe a combo of two things?
Don't despair, DO believe in the amazing changes you can make with powerful nutrition and exercise...
love,
Hops
-
Could it be sleep apnea, Bones?
That's treatable!
Or maybe a combo of two things?
Don't despair, DO believe in the amazing changes you can make with powerful nutrition and exercise...
love,
Hops
Ditto above!!
Continued thoughts of better health for you. Keep us posted. ((hugs & strength)) as you go through the process of finding a correct diagnosis and treatment. ox seasons
-
Thinking of you, Bones. Check out Dr Schultz and see what you think. His number is 1 800 Herb Doc. Ami
Thanks, Ami!
Bones
-
Could it be sleep apnea, Bones?
That's treatable!
Or maybe a combo of two things?
Don't despair, DO believe in the amazing changes you can make with powerful nutrition and exercise...
love,
Hops
Sleep apnea has been ruled out, however I am at risk for it. I've had my pulmonary function test today. I'm not sure how long it will take for the results to come back.
Bones
-
Could it be sleep apnea, Bones?
That's treatable!
Or maybe a combo of two things?
Don't despair, DO believe in the amazing changes you can make with powerful nutrition and exercise...
love,
Hops
Ditto above!!
Continued thoughts of better health for you. Keep us posted. ((hugs & strength)) as you go through the process of finding a correct diagnosis and treatment. ox seasons
Thanks, Seasons!
Bones
-
Hi Bonesy-
Hope you got got results from the test and you feel better soon.
Love,
Changing
-
Hi Bonesy-
Hope you got got results from the test and you feel better soon.
Love,
Changing
Thanks, Changing! I'm not sure how long it will take for all of the lung tests to come back.
Bones
-
Hi Bones
Thinking of you! I know you are going through a hard and scary time. My heart goes out to you. Ami
-
Hi Bones
Thinking of you! I know you are going through a hard and scary time. My heart goes out to you. Ami
Thanks, Ami!
Bones
-
I'm feeling more than a bit aggravated today.
Last night, while I was having a conversation with significant other, my phone rings at 8:30 PM!!!! It turned out to be NDoofus AGAIN!!!!! She has been told SEVERAL TIMES NOT TO CALL ME AT MY BEDTIME! As usual, she started blathering mindlessly, asking questions about things that I do NOT want to discuss with her, and I told her that I CANNOT talk now as I have company! Her response? "Is he spending the night with you?" RUDE! INTRUSIVE!! PRYING!!! NOSY!!!! She also ruined the conversation I was having with him and by the time I hung up the phone, he was out the door! :x :x :x WHAT PART OF THE WORD "N-O" DOES SHE NOT UNDERSTAND?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x
Bones
-
Dear Bones I have a book that explains Personality Disorders well and simply. It says that those with a PD do not see HOW they interact with others. They have a brick wall as far as learning fron social cues, as "normal" people do. Therefore, they seem dense ,like N Doofus, b/c they really cannot and will not learn from outside cues, such as your requests to N Doofus. Ami
-
Dear Bones I have a book that explains Personality Disorders well and simply. It says that those with a PD do not see HOW they interact with others. They have a brick wall as far as learning fron social cues, as "normal" people do. Therefore, they seem dense ,like N Doofus, b/c they really cannot and will not learn from outside cues, such as your requests to N Doofus. Ami
Thanks, Ami!
So true, even when she is told POINT BLANK!
Bones
-
Hello Bonesy-
Hope that you are feeling better.
I have a friend whose answering machine speaks the name of any caller (unless they are unlisted, etc) as the phone rings- if you had a way of screening your calls, NDoofus could ring you up, and you could return the call at your leisure...Or perhaps you might turn off the ringer when you and your sweetie are having a heart to heart? Certainly, you need as little upset as possible during this juncture, to support your mental and physical health...This is the top priority!!!
Take good care and let us know how you are!
Love,
Changing
-
Hello Bonesy-
Hope that you are feeling better.
I have a friend whose answering machine speaks the name of any caller (unless they are unlisted, etc) as the phone rings- if you had a way of screening your calls, NDoofus could ring you up, and you could return the call at your leisure...Or perhaps you might turn off the ringer when you and your sweetie are having a heart to heart? Certainly, you need as little upset as possible during this juncture, to support your mental and physical health...This is the top priority!!!
Take good care and let us know how you are!
Love,
Changing
Thanks, Changing.
This time, Significant Other picked up the cordless and the only thing showing on the Caller ID was a wireless number, no name. I programmed the Caller ID to send it straight to the answering machine the next time she calls from that number.
I went to see my primary care physician today and I have to undergo additional tests...one for a CT Scan of my head to rule out any additional problems there, a doppler scan of my neck to check my carotid arteries, and an Ear, Nose and Throat Specialist to check for possible ear infections as I have had a history them, especially during allergy season. I hope all of these physical challenges get fixed soon!
Bones
-
I'm glad you're getting checked out from stem to stern, dear Bones.
That's the groundwork for your NEW PATH TO HEALTH PLAN.
With you every step!
xo
Hops
-
I'm glad you're getting checked out from stem to stern, dear Bones.
That's the groundwork for your NEW PATH TO HEALTH PLAN.
With you every step!
xo
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
Bones
-
I also have to go for an electrostynagmography. More fun.....NOT!!!! :P
Bones
-
What is that test for, Bones?
xo
Hops
-
electrostagmography Googled
ENT--I haven't seen a specialist. My doctor is useless.
Appears we have the same, bones, but it's 4 years for me and I haven't had one of these--just nose spray and I use throat lozenges and cough syrup.
-
What is that test for, Bones?
xo
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
The test is to test my inner ears. I'm still dizzy however, the ENT determined that my outer and middle ears are not infected.
Bones
-
electrostagmography Googled
ENT--I haven't seen a specialist. My doctor is useless.
Appears we have the same, bones, but it's 4 years for me and I haven't had one of these--just nose spray and I use throat lozenges and cough syrup.
I'm also scheduled for a CT scan tomorrow morning.
Bones
-
Dear Bones
When I get upset ,I get dizzy. I ignore it, now b/c I know it is just that. I hope yours is just that simple. Sending best wishes. Ami
-
Dear Bones
When I get upset ,I get dizzy. I ignore it, now b/c I know it is just that. I hope yours is just that simple. Sending best wishes. Ami
Thanks, Ami.
This dizziness started at the end of July. Before that, I had felt fine. I'm hoping to get to the bottom of why this is happening.
Bones
-
Have you asked about positional vertigo, Bones?
It feels awful but it's harmless ... due to calcium deposits in the inner ear.
I had it once, walked into walls. It cleared up on its own.
They have a treatment that involves lowering you sideways and yanking you up again, it dislodges the little bits of calcium.
Low blood pressure causes dizziness.
Panic attacks do too. I used to have severe dizziness all by itself...and it was a panic symptom.
xo
Hops
-
Have you asked about positional vertigo, Bones?
It feels awful but it's harmless ... due to calcium deposits in the inner ear.
I had it once, walked into walls. It cleared up on its own.
They have a treatment that involves lowering you sideways and yanking you up again, it dislodges the little bits of calcium.
Low blood pressure causes dizziness.
Panic attacks do too. I used to have severe dizziness all by itself...and it was a panic symptom.
xo
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
The depression and anxiety are under control with the medication I have been taking since early August. The doctor states that my blood pressure is normal and I have been monitoring it. The tests I am going through this month is to attempt to narrow down where the dizziness is coming from.
Bones
-
Thinking of you, Bones! Ami
-
Thinking of you also, Bones. ox seasons
-
Me too, Bones.
I hope it turns out to be something simple to fix.
Will keep you in my prayers.
Sela
-
Thanks, Ami, Seasons, and Sela!
I'm still awaiting the results of the CT scan that was done earlier this week. I have an appointment next week to discuss my pulmonary function test.
Bones
-
I'm still awaiting the results of my CT scan. I met with the pulmonologist today and FINALLY got an official diagnosis of asthma! I've suspected, FOR YEARS, since I was little, that I had it but NWomb-Donor ignored it just like she ignored my other medical and dental needs!
Bones
-
Oh man. I'm so relieved, Bones.
SO much better to have a treatable, controllable condition that something dire like COPD.
(I wrote a chapter on asthma once.)
You will feel SO much better when the lung inflammation is calmed.
Please don't forget about exercise and fabulous nutrition and your overall plan.
love
Hops
-
Oh man. I'm so relieved, Bones.
SO much better to have a treatable, controllable condition that something dire like COPD.
(I wrote a chapter on asthma once.)
You will feel SO much better when the lung inflammation is calmed.
Please don't forget about exercise and fabulous nutrition and your overall plan.
love
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
Unfortunately, I still have the other health issues that has finally overwhelmed my job. I now have to retire on disability as I no longer have the physical strength to work fulltime any longer. Attempting to work parttime has been exascerbating my health, which is putting my physical health more at risk.
Bones
-
I'm really sorry, Bones.
Please fight to regain your health whether you're on disability or not.
People do lose tons of weight, begin and commit to exercise programs, and totally restore their health.
I hope you will too.
Whatever's NOT possible, is not your fault.
But nutrition is unbelievably powerful...ask Ami about Dr. Schulz.
I am shocked at the difference. So I feel a little evangelical about it.
Funny how I always read about these things, and somehow thought I had a different sort of body...hah.
It responds exactly like any other human body does to good care, and potent nutrition (food not pills).
I've given up white flour, eat a lot of veggies, more fruit than I used to, and frequent fish.
That generally it.
When I lose control, it's sugar. That's an unsafe thing for me. But when I stop it for a week, then I gradully lose the craving.
sending courage,
Hops
-
Thanks, Hops.
It's become a bit more complicated as one of the doctors noticed that I may have the beginnings of osteoporosis. Add the mulitple spinal birth defects that cause muscle spasms and compresses one of my lungs doesn't help much either. The doc is concerned that the osteoporosis may cause the spine to put more pressure on my lungs, interfering with my ability to breathe. (I saw the X-rays and my spine is twisted around pretty bad and is clearly pressing on my left lung. What irks me is that this could have been corrected when I was younger but NWomb-Donor ignored that too.)
Bones
-
Dear Bones,
I am thinking of you. I hope you use all the resources available for your healing. I use Dr Schultz. I am glad that Hops appreciated him b/c he is the best, IMO.
I know that you are smart and resourceful, Bones. Ami
-
Damn, Bones...upsets me to hear you were neglected.
Here's the most serious question. You're in your 30s now?
Is it possible for you to have and survive corrective surgery?
If the doctors say it is, would you do it? I believe I would.
It would be pure hell for a few months of recovery, but imagine the future.
If they say it is not, what are the options?
I can't imagine how frustrating it would be to WANT to exercise
but feel unable to breathe well enough.
Would it help your body to do a gentle swimming program?
Could your breathing muscles get stronger that way?
worriedly,
Hops
-
Dear Bones,
I am thinking of you. I hope you use all the resources available for your healing. I use Dr Schultz. I am glad that Hops appreciated him b/c he is the best, IMO.
I know that you are smart and resourceful, Bones. Ami
Thanks, Ami!
Bones
-
Damn, Bones...upsets me to hear you were neglected.
Here's the most serious question. You're in your 30s now?
Is it possible for you to have and survive corrective surgery?
If the doctors say it is, would you do it? I believe I would.
It would be pure hell for a few months of recovery, but imagine the future.
If they say it is not, what are the options?
I can't imagine how frustrating it would be to WANT to exercise
but feel unable to breathe well enough.
Would it help your body to do a gentle swimming program?
Could your breathing muscles get stronger that way?
worriedly,
Hops
Hi, Hops.
I'm approaching my 60's so that kind of extensive spinal surgery is not an option any longer. The doctor and I discussed that possibility and he felt it would put my life, well-being and quality of life at risk because all of my bones, muscles and nerves are twisted around each other. I have a follow-up appointment with my primary care physician in a week and a half and I plan to take my X-rays to show her what the lung specialist saw. From there, I plan to discuss where I need to go to have the bone scan done and whatever follow-up is required.
In the meantime, I've printed out all the preliminary forms I need to fill out for disability and hardship deferment so I have to start reading them to make heads or tails of them plus see what additional documentations these forms require, etc., etc.
Bones
-
I'm still going over the paperwork and noticed that I have to order another copy of my birth certificate in order to prove to the government who I am.
Bones
-
That's a pain.
Bureaucracy is such fun, huh.
Who would you LIKE to be?
xo
Hops
-
That's a pain.
Bureaucracy is such fun, huh.
Who would you LIKE to be?
xo
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
Bureaucracy IS a P.I.T.A. (Who would I like to be? I'm not sure yet.)
Bones
-
I've filled out and sent the "pre-application". Now I have to wait for Social Security to respond.
Bones
-
I know it must be a frustrating road that you are on, Bones. My heart goes out to you and I am wishing the best for you! Ami
-
I know it must be a frustrating road that you are on, Bones. My heart goes out to you and I am wishing the best for you! Ami
Thanks, Ami.
Bones
-
I have another doctor's appointment on 21st and another test on the 28th.
Bones
-
Please keep us posted...about diagnoses, and most especially,
what's the very best thing you can do to make yourself feel better....
sending comfort, support, courage...
love
Hops
-
Please keep us posted...about diagnoses, and most especially,
what's the very best thing you can do to make yourself feel better....
sending comfort, support, courage...
love
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
Somewhere in there, I also have to schedule a bone scan.
Bones
-
Thinking of you, Bones. Sending thoughts of comfort to you. Ami
-
Thinking of you, Bones. Sending thoughts of comfort to you. Ami
Thanks, Ami.
Bones
-
Thinking of you, Bones. Sending thoughts of comfort to you. Ami
Thanks, Ami.
Bones
Losing ground there, bones
bump Izzy
-
Thinking of you, Bones. Sending thoughts of comfort to you. Ami
Thanks, Ami.
Bones
Losing ground there, bones
bump Izzy
:?: :?: :?:
Bones
-
Just saying Hi Bones. Thinking of you! Ami
-
Just saying Hi, Bones. Thinking of you! Ami
Thanks, Ami.
I'm having another test tomorrow morning and then another next Wednesday.
Bones
-
Jeez, Bones, what an ordeal you're going through.
You are a brave woman, and I really admire your calm.
I know this is a really tough time, and I'm sending love.
Hops
-
Jeez, Bones, what an ordeal you're going through.
You are a brave woman, and I really admire your calm.
I know this is a really tough time, and I'm sending love.
Hops
Thanks, Hops. I'm trying to get some answers so I can fix whatever is wrong. Next week, I have a bone scan. I'll be going back to the ear specialist next month.
Bones
-
I wish I could help more,Bones. You have been through so much in your life. Your M was enough sorrow for 10 lifetimes. I am sending you love. Ami
-
I wish I could help more,Bones. You have been through so much in your life. Your M was enough sorrow for 10 lifetimes. I am sending you love. Ami
Thanks, Ami. I really appreciate it.
Bones
-
Just saying Hi Bones, and that I am thinking of you! Ami
-
Just saying Hi Bones, and that I am thinking of you! Ami
Thanks, Ami.
I have another test on Wednesday. I don't know how long it will take to get the results back.
Bones
-
For the past couple of days, I have been dealing with some breathing difficulties that I think are related to asthma. I called the doctor's number three times. The first two times, I got his staff who told me I would get a call back "later". The third time, I got the answering service as the doctor's office had closed for the day. :P The answering service told me that the doctor-on-call would return my call. As I'm waiting for the doctor to call me back, who calls? NDoofus! Knowing she would keep dialing, tying up my phone line, I answered and told her quite bluntly: "I'm waiting for my doctor to call me back. Clear the line!" She started blathering mindlessly about her own little plans. I repeated again, "I'm waiting for my doctor to call me back. GET OFF THE PHONE!" She wanted me to call her back after my doctor called me because she "assumed everything would be OK". I bluntly told her, for the final time: "I don't know what the doctor will require me to do! GET OFF THE PHONE!" I finally spoke with the doctor-on-call and, much to my relief, I did not have to go to the E.R. I followed his instructions regarding the albuterol and went to bed. Did I call NDoofus bacK? NOT!!!!!!!!!!
Bones
-
((((((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))))
-
((((((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))))
Thanks, Ami.
Unfortunately, my symptoms got worse and I landed in the Emergency Room last night.
Bones
-
What did they tell you,Bones? Ami
-
What did they tell you,Bones? Ami
That I have a combination of asthma and acute bronchitis. Not fun.
Bones
-
That sounds awful, Bones. I am so sorry you went through that. How are you,now? Ami
-
That sounds awful, Bones. I am so sorry you went through that. How are you,now? Ami
Not any better. Gotta go back to the doctor today.
Bones
-
Let us know what happens, Bones. Ami
-
Let us know what happens, Bones. Ami
Thanks, Ami.
The doctor confirmed asthmatic bronchitis. What got scary was when he told me that my windpipe had started to swell, which caused my voice to fail. I'm still taking steroids and antibiotics to get everything to open up again.
Bones
-
Let us know what happens, Bones. Ami
Thanks, Ami.
The doctor confirmed asthmatic bronchitis. What got scary was when he told me that my windpipe had started to swell, which caused my voice to fail. I'm still taking steroids and antibiotics to get everything to open up again.
Bones
It sounds really scary,Bones. I am so sorry you are enduring that. Ami
-
Let us know what happens, Bones. Ami
Thanks, Ami.
The doctor confirmed asthmatic bronchitis. What got scary was when he told me that my windpipe had started to swell, which caused my voice to fail. I'm still taking steroids and antibiotics to get everything to open up again.
Bones
It sounds really scary,Bones. I am so sorry you are enduring that. Ami
I appreciate that, Ami.
Bones
-
((((((((((Bonesie))))))))))))))))
-
((((((((((Bonesie))))))))))))))))
Thanks, Ami.
I'm finding out the results of my bone scan today.
Bones
-
I will be waiting to hear, Bones. I so hope everything is OK . Ami
-
Osteoporosis. :(
Bones
-
I am so sorry to hear that,Bones.
I hope there are some things you can do to help. Are there? Ami
-
Bones, I'm sorry.
Can you be treated with Reclast?
Calcium + Vitamin D, lots and lots, and lots of sardines, greens, and weight-bearing exercise?
Can you find a good second-hand treadmill?
Please don't despair.
love,
Hops
-
Feeling overwhelmed.
Bones
-
Bonsie
Are there natural things you could do to help it? Is it in the early stages? Ami
-
Don't know.
Bones
-
I would get Dr Shultze's book " There are No Incurabe Diseases."
I trust him . Ami
-
Miz Bones,
Anybody given you a gentle big hug lately?
Can you cry about all this?
((((((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))))
Hops
-
I would get Dr Shultze's book " There are No Incurabe Diseases."
I trust him . Ami
Thanks, Ami.
Bones
-
Miz Bones,
Anybody given you a gentle big hug lately?
Can you cry about all this?
((((((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))))
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
I feel so exhausted.
Bones
-
I am sorry,(((( Bones.)))) It must be awful ! Ami
-
I am sorry,(((( Bones.)))) It must be awful ! Ami
Thanks, Ami.
Bones
-
Thinking of you, Bones. How are you doing? Ami
-
Thinking of you, Bones. How are you doing? Ami
Still exhausted.
Bones
-
Do you think you're depressed too?
Do you have coverage for counseling and any Rx you need?
Is bf being kind?
love
Hops
-
Do you think you're depressed too?
Do you have coverage for counseling and any Rx you need?
Is bf being kind?
love
Hops
I'm sure I'm depressed as well. The doctor also has me taking lexapro and trazadone. The health insurance doesn't have too much coverage for counseling. The problem is finding the right therapist who is not focused on forcing their own agenda down your throat. I've been burnt too many times that way. BF is a little helpful.
Bones
-
BF seems to be successful at keeping NDoofus away from me. It was really annoying, two weeks ago, when she kept trying to force an uninvited visit on me after I told her NUMEROUS times that I had a medical situation going on and I was waiting for the doctor to return my call. She simply ignored what I said and expected me to instantaneously drop what was going on for her convenience and expected me to entertain her! Sheesh!
Bones
-
Do you think you're depressed too?
Do you have coverage for counseling and any Rx you need?
Is bf being kind?
love
Hops
I'm sure I'm depressed as well. The doctor also has me taking lexapro and trazadone. The health insurance doesn't have too much coverage for counseling. The problem is finding the right therapist who is not focused on forcing their own agenda down your throat. I've been burnt too many times that way. BF is a little helpful.
Bones
Finding a good therapist is really hard. I am sure that many things have led to depresion. My heart goes out to you, Bones. Ami
-
Do you think you're depressed too?
Do you have coverage for counseling and any Rx you need?
Is bf being kind?
love
Hops
I'm sure I'm depressed as well. The doctor also has me taking lexapro and trazadone. The health insurance doesn't have too much coverage for counseling. The problem is finding the right therapist who is not focused on forcing their own agenda down your throat. I've been burnt too many times that way. BF is a little helpful.
Bones
Finding a good therapist is really hard. I am sure that many things have led to depresion. My heart goes out to you, Bones. Ami
Thanks, Ami.
Bones
-
(((((((Bonesie))))))
Did you EVER think life would turn out this way??? Ami
-
(((((((Bonesie))))))
Did you EVER think life would turn out this way??? Ami
No, I didn't.
I feel lost.
Bones
-
Dear Bones,
Exhausted, lost and a little scared, I imagine.
You eed somebody in 3-D life to share these feelings with...
It's just as important as handling all these physical challenges you're coping with.
Please find a support group, friend, counselor, minister, somebody?
I wish I could give you lunch and a big bowl of garlicky soup.
Here's a hug,
Hops
-
Dear Bones,
Exhausted, lost and a little scared, I imagine.
You eed somebody in 3-D life to share these feelings with...
It's just as important as handling all these physical challenges you're coping with.
Please find a support group, friend, counselor, minister, somebody?
I wish I could give you lunch and a big bowl of garlicky soup.
Here's a hug,
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
Bones
-
Is b/f being loving and supportive? I hope so.
Ami
-
Is b/f being loving and supportive? I hope so.
Ami
Somewhat.
Bones
-
I know it is really scary ,Bones. I really can't believe life is the way it is.Where are the fairy tales? Ami
-
I know it is really scary ,Bones. I really can't believe life is the way it is.Where are the fairy tales? Ami
It's hard to know where the fairy tales are anymore.
Bones
-
It sure is, Bonsie. Ami
-
It sure is, Bonsie. Ami
It feels demoralizing.
Bones
-
I think part of the problem we have as D's of N's was that it was so hard to even live life, that we did not face the truth of what it really was.*I* and everyone else is a lot worse than I ever thought BUT it is how human nature is.
If I had not had the false beliefs, it would not be so hard to see ,now.
Illness adds a whole new dimension.
It shakes up all the belief we did have .
Tragedy does the same thing.
I found God through it all. That is the only good thing I can say came from it. Ami
-
I think part of the problem we have as D's of N's was that it was so hard to even live life, that we did not face the truth of what it really was.*I* and everyone else is a lot worse than I ever thought BUT it is how human nature is.
If I had not had the false beliefs, it would not be so hard to see ,now.
Illness adds a whole new dimension.
It shakes up all the belief we did have .
Tragedy does the same thing.
I found God through it all. That is the only good thing I can say came from it. Ami
I agree, Ami. At times, I remember the verse that God won't give us more than we can handle. At other times, I often wonder why we were saddled with Ns who were supposed to be parents.
Bones
-
Oh Bones
I have asked myself that question countless times. I just figured out my F is a saintly N so I am a double winner.God has been with me through Scott's death and through figuring out just how horrible my M is.
He has never given me more than I can handle,but it has been very close. I have always been afraid of being given more than I can handle and losing my mind. I have to trust Him. Ami
-
Hey Bones,
I am sending you a big wide gentle strong safe hug from MAMA UNIVERSE.
She's waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay bigger than the one you were accidentally assigned to.
You got love. Big as the ocean.
You too, Ami.
Hops
-
Oh Bones
I have asked myself that question countless times. I just figured out my F is a saintly N so I am a double winner.God has been with me through Scott's death and through figuring out just how horrible my M is.
He has never given me more than I can handle,but it has been very close. I have always been afraid of being given more than I can handle and losing my mind. I have to trust Him. Ami
I agree.
Bones
-
Hey Bones,
I am sending you a big wide gentle strong safe hug from MAMA UNIVERSE.
She's waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay bigger than the one you were accidentally assigned to.
You got love. Big as the ocean.
You too, Ami.
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
Bones
-
NDoofus attempted to call while I was sick with asthmatic bronchitis. Didn't bother to pick up the phone when I saw her number on the Caller ID. I was in no mood to deal with her. I know bf meant well when he contacted her to tell her of my health issues. I just don't need her aggravation.
Bones
-
I see that the N's are missing the piece that allows them to "feel out" situations. I have heard it called executive function(ie higher brain function)
Whatever you call it, they are clueless in Modern Terms.
Ami
-
I see that the N's are missing the piece that allows them to "feel out" situations. I have heard it called executive function(ie higher brain function)
Whatever you call it, they are clueless in Modern Terms.
Ami
EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bones
-
While resting in bed yesterday morning, I was watching a case on Judge Mathis. In this case, the defendant appeared to be a Narcissistic Rage-aholic in full bloom! I wasn't sure whether to laugh at her being absurd in court or feel sorry for her!
Bones
-
Many of those judge cases involve N's . Ami
-
Many of those judge cases involve N's . Ami
It sure seems that way. This N that I was observing was convicted of assault and indecent exposure. When the judge asked her about it, she nonchalantly admitted to pulling her pants down in the middle of a grocery store and acted as if she had the right to do it! (*Still shaking head*)
Bones
-
Many of the cases involve s/one being nice to an N and the N takes them for a ride to Hell. Ami
-
So true!
What made this case seemed different is that the N assaulted a total stranger for no legitimate reason.
Bones
-
acted as if she had the right to do it!
entitlement + no empathy = everything wrong in the world
Hope
you
feel
better
Bones
xo
Hops
-
acted as if she had the right to do it!
entitlement + no empathy = everything wrong in the world
Hope
you
feel
better
Bones
xo
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
I hope you are feeling better too.
Bones
-
After hearing on the news, this past Thursday, about the child's remains found near the home of Caylee's grandparents, it made me wonder if Caylee's womb-donor and N. Your thoughts?
Bones
-
I think N is not that bad compared to sociopath or psychopath.
My M knows right and wrong and she is an N. Ami
-
I think N is not that bad compared to sociopath or psychopath.
My M knows right and wrong and she is an N. Ami
I'm beginning to wonder if Caylee's womb-donor is a combination of N and sociopath/psychopath.
I'm in a bad mood today as my car got broken into during the weekend and glass went everywhere. Whoever it was rifled through my glove compartment but found only papers related to emissions inspections. Already talked to the police. They didn't bother taking any fingerprints...just handed me a brochure with the case number. My insurance has already had the busted window replaced.
Bones
-
Bones, it never rains but it pours...
and sleets,
and hails
Sorry you've had a tough day.
You must be overlimit on the stressors.
How's exercise going for you?
I haven't been, and I urgently need to start walking...
hugs
Hops
-
Thinking of you((( Bonsie))). I am sorry for your awful day! Ami
-
Thinking of you((( Bonsie))). I am sorry for your awful day! Ami
Thanks, Ami.
Bones
-
I think I saw an example of Narcissistic behavior on television yesterday. On one of the talk shows, this idiot was bragging about beating his one-year-old son for "staring him down" and that he was entitled to "put him in his place". The N was clearly an IDIOT!
Bones
-
Bones
It is SO horrible to have N parents. I think Satan materializes and comes in the form of an N parent. How have you been doing, Bones?
Ami
-
Bones
It is SO horrible to have N parents. I think Satan materializes and comes in the form of an N parent. How have you been doing, Bones?
Ami
I'm feeling down today.
Bones
-
Hi dear ((((((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))),
I'm sorry you're blue.
Blue Bones, Blue Bones gonna RISE again,
Blue Bones, Blue Bones gonna RISE again,
Blue Bones, Blue Bones gonna RISE again...
Early in the mornin'.
What music do you love, Bones?
How about: some good headphones, a cup of excellent herbal tea, and a few hours just losing yourself in music.
Will you try it?
love and a gentle (((((_))))) to you,
Hops
-
(((((((((((Bones))))))))))))
-
Hi dear ((((((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))),
I'm sorry you're blue.
Blue Bones, Blue Bones gonna RISE again,
Blue Bones, Blue Bones gonna RISE again,
Blue Bones, Blue Bones gonna RISE again...
Early in the mornin'.
What music do you love, Bones?
How about: some good headphones, a cup of excellent herbal tea, and a few hours just losing yourself in music.
Will you try it?
love and a gentle (((((_))))) to you,
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
How are you doing in the aftermath of your Nbrother?
Bones
-
(((((((((((Bones))))))))))))
Thanks, Ami.
Bones
-
YVW Bonsie!
-
HI Bones...
The farther back the hearing gets, the better I feel.
It's just starting to sink in.
I am thinking about packing up my parents' things for storage so I can paint walls, etc.
No rush, but joyful daydreams.
I haven't felt I could be at home in 11 years.
So I'm doing much better. Quit my Saturday extra job...back was killing me and it was TOO much.
hope you feel better today.
love
Hops
-
HI Bones...
The farther back the hearing gets, the better I feel.
It's just starting to sink in.
I am thinking about packing up my parents' things for storage so I can paint walls, etc.
No rush, but joyful daydreams.
I haven't felt I could be at home in 11 years.
So I'm doing much better. Quit my Saturday extra job...back was killing me and it was TOO much.
hope you feel better today.
love
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
The holidays are always rough when a LOT of ugly memories start rearing their ugly heads.
Bones
-
Remember that Whack-A-Mole game, Bones?
Every gopher/mole is one of those memories.
You didn't deserve ANY of that. No child does.
love,
Hops
-
Remember that Whack-A-Mole game, Bones?
Every gopher/mole is one of those memories.
You didn't deserve ANY of that. No child does.
love,
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
Bones
-
I've recently received official notification that voc rehab considers me significantly disabled. However, due to the economy, I've been placed on a waiting list for services.
Bones
-
((((((Bonsie)
May your path be cleared and may you be blessed as you go forward, friend. Ami
-
((((((Bonsie)
May your path be cleared and may you be blessed as you go forward, friend. Ami
Thanks, Ami.
Bones
-
Collecting disability is exactly appropriate and that's what it's for.
So very frustrating to hear you may have a wait...
Bones, did they give you any indication of how long it would be?
Are you still working in the meantime?
How are you coping with pain? Are your lungs any better?
Hops
-
Collecting disability is exactly appropriate and that's what it's for.
So very frustrating to hear you may have a wait...
Bones, did they give you any indication of how long it would be?
Are you still working in the meantime?
How are you coping with pain? Are your lungs any better?
Hops
Hi, Hops.
I'm not working because my health overwhelmed my previous job. I'm also suspecting that Asperger's might be a factor so I'm looking into getting an official diagnosis as that impacts employability. My bronchitis has improved and my ear infection seems to be finally clearing up. Pain comes and goes. Regarding the waiting list, with the economy being what it is, I'm not certain how long the wait will actually be.
Bones
-
http://www.creators.com/lifestylefeatures/advice-goddess-amy-alkon.html
I read the above article and couldn't help but think that this scenario may be painfully familiar to others on this board.
Bones
-
Thinking of you, Bonsie! Ami
-
Thinking of you, Bonsie! Ami
Thanks, Ami.
I'm still taking things one day at a time.
Bones
-
So far, I have been left alone by NDoofus. I hope she continues to leave me alone as I'm in no mood for her aggravation. The winter weather has me hurting all over from old injuries. From time to time, another memory will start to bubble to the surface. The pace seems to be slowing down as I name it, claim it and dump it. I recently posted another memory to the Members' Stories board.
Bones
-
I have a doctor's appointment next week and I'm also scheduled to meet with voc. rehab. at the end of the week.
Bones
-
Do you feel you have a pretty good team in place, Bones?
That's a lot of docs and appointments, etc.
Is a big picture of your health starting to take shape?
Bad news, good news?
love
Hops
-
Do you feel you have a pretty good team in place, Bones?
That's a lot of docs and appointments, etc.
Is a big picture of your health starting to take shape?
Bad news, good news?
love
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
I'm taking everything one day at a time. I'm not sure what the big picture is yet.
Bones
-
(((((((((((((Bones)))))))))))
Sending you good wishes and thoughts.
-
(((((((((((((Bones)))))))))))
Sending you good wishes and thoughts.
Thanks, Ami.
I'll be seeing one of my doctors this afternoon.
Bones
-
Shortly after I came home from the doctor's office and was preparing lunch, the phone rang. I didn't really pay much attention to the Caller ID, (which I should have). Turns out it was NDoofus wanting to know why I wasn't calling her. I reminded her that I had already sent her an e-mail about why I am angry and she will not listen! She responded with: "I don't understand!" I responded that I don't want to discuss it any further and hung up.
Bones
-
I guess I'm getting stronger regarding my boundaries. This past Friday, when bf took me out to lunch, I was accosted by another N who was going to sit down with us...uninvited. I looked her straight in the eye and informed her: "I am here with my DATE and I need ALONE time with him!" She backed off!
Bones
-
That must have felt good, Bones. Ami
-
That must have felt good, Bones. Ami
It felt good both times with NDoofus and the other N.
Bones
-
The more I consider my original question, "Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?", the more I realize that it IS N behavior because they seem to have this attitude of ENTITLEMENT!
Bones
-
Sending you some love and hot chocolate, Bones...
xxoo
Hops
-
Sending you some love and hot chocolate, Bones...
xxoo
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
Bones
-
There seems to be a question about how to deal with passive-aggressive N's. How about we discuss it here?
Bones
-
Before I became aware and started putting pieces of the puzzle together, I remember an incident that occurred with passive-aggressive NDoofus. We were having a discussion and she wanted to go somewhere and do something and expected me to tag along. I responded: "Not now. We can do that later. I have a school project that I'm still working on and I need to finish it. It is due soon." (This was while I was still in graduate school.) She reacts with: "You're being DIFFICULT!" I looked at her as if she had lost her mind and repeated, "The school project has priority right now!" When I look back on that incident, it feels as if I was dealing with a six-year-old instead of a middle-aged individual! Sheesh!!! :P
Bones
-
Reading others' posting about how their Nparents reacted to the illnesses and injuries of their children triggered another memory for me that I posted in the Members' Stories site.
Bones
-
I'm also wondering if the N's in your lives have ever faked helplessness whenever they didn't want to take responsibility for something?
Bones
-
I don't know how many on the board watch Divorce Court with Judge Toler. Every so often, she has a special session titled: "Before the Vows". In today's session, it involved a 37-year-old man and is his 27-year-old girlfriend. Within seconds, it became painfully obvious that the guy was an absolutely flaming N who attempted to gaslight the judge several times and Judge Toler was having NONE OF IT!!! He even PREENED in front of the courtroom audience and thought he was cute and funny in his behavior. (He was simply obnoxious!) The judge advised the girlfriend to quit wasting her time because he had no reason to change as long as he could continue to get away with dangling a ring in front of her like a carrot. Based on what I observed from the girlfriend's reaction, she already knew this but wanted confirmation from someone cool, calm, collected and objective about her observations. At that point, she handed the guy his bag of stuff and told him it was over. As she walked out into the hallway, he followed her begging her to come back to him. He even plopped down on one knee in front of her, with a ring, and begged her not to leave him as he now had the ring she always wanted. She shoved it aside and told him: "It's too late!" I applauded her!!!
Bones
-
I applaud YOU, Bones!
How are you feeling dear?
Any ease of your troubles?
Any good nutrition and exercise helping?
I hope so hope so hope so
Hops
-
Hi (((((Bones))))
Thinking of you? Send an update when you can. Ami
-
I'm also wondering if the N's in your lives have ever faked helplessness whenever they didn't want to take responsibility for something?
Bones
My oldest sister does this daily.
She walks with a cane. I told her to get a wheel chair because it is no help, as everyone walks with her while she acts like she can't put one foot in front of the other. LIE
OH no I don't want one.
Why would she, she wouldn't be in control anymore of the person walking with her or should I say standing as she Cries out in pain and stiffness. NOT!
Told her to ask her Dr. for pain medication, and anti- inflammatory medication to help her debilitating arthritis and other unnamed illnesses. More BS!
She said, "NO" again, doesn't want to discuss it and says she doesn't like medication. BS!!!!!!!!
She pretends she has no money. When her wallet is filled with bills tucked away no one can notice.
Got her cable paid for by a neighbor who doesn't have cable herself because my sisters was going to have hers cut off.
Old friend pays her electric, she adds about $10 to the bill for extra cash.
Cashiers bring out her bundles to her car. As she can't carry them. BS again!
Pretending she is a step away from the shelter (as she is laying mulch, buying flowers, wreaths, 123 lawn step care etc.) that's how she get all her freebies.
Pretends she is physically handycapped. Everyone who falls for it bows to her every physical need. Again a big LIE.
She is exhausting. Watching someone be so good at conning people is amazingly sick! She is a master at her disguise and disgusts me.
I could go on and on, as you know with these people. I won't bore you with the details except she is not responsible in her eyes for anything, she is the victim and everyone needs to fill her with pity, material possessions and their time. And she loves to brag about it.
Her only responsibility is how to suck everything out of you, then she feels like she won the lottery.
Hope your feeling better.
ox seasons
-
I applaud YOU, Bones!
How are you feeling dear?
Any ease of your troubles?
Any good nutrition and exercise helping?
I hope so hope so hope so
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
I have my ups and downs. Last Friday, I landed in the Emergency Room from what I think might have been the Noro-virus! UGH!
Bones
-
Hi (((((Bones))))
Thinking of you? Send an update when you can. Ami
Thanks, Ami!
I'm trying to take it easy.
Bones
-
I'm also wondering if the N's in your lives have ever faked helplessness whenever they didn't want to take responsibility for something?
Bones
My oldest sister does this daily.
She walks with a cane. I told her to get a wheel chair because it is no help, as everyone walks with her while she acts like she can't put one foot in front of the other. LIE
OH no I don't want one.
Why would she, she wouldn't be in control anymore of the person walking with her or should I say standing as she Cries out in pain and stiffness. NOT!
Told her to ask her Dr. for pain medication, and anti- inflammatory medication to help her debilitating arthritis and other unnamed illnesses. More BS!
She said, "NO" again, doesn't want to discuss it and says she doesn't like medication. BS!!!!!!!!
She pretends she has no money. When her wallet is filled with bills tucked away no one can notice.
Got her cable paid for by a neighbor who doesn't have cable herself because my sisters was going to have hers cut off.
Old friend pays her electric, she adds about $10 to the bill for extra cash.
Cashiers bring out her bundles to her car. As she can't carry them. BS again!
Pretending she is a step away from the shelter (as she is laying mulch, buying flowers, wreaths, 123 lawn step care etc.) that's how she get all her freebies.
Pretends she is physically handycapped. Everyone who falls for it bows to her every physical need. Again a big LIE.
She is exhausting. Watching someone be so good at conning people is amazingly sick! She is a master at her disguise and disgusts me.
I could go on and on, as you know with these people. I won't bore you with the details except she is not responsible in her eyes for anything, she is the victim and everyone needs to fill her with pity, material possessions and their time. And she loves to brag about it.
Her only responsibility is how to suck everything out of you, then she feels like she won the lottery.
Hope your feeling better.
ox seasons
Thanks, Seasons!
It's aggravating when people do what your sister do while others who are REALLY dealing with challenges try not to create problems! NDoofus is also aggravating with her "helplessness"!
Bones
-
I'm trying to recall if I had already described an incident that NDoofus tried to pull with her DVD player.
Bones
-
Would love to hear it. seasons
-
Thanks, Seasons.
This incident took place shortly before I learned about N-ism. I was visiting with NDoofus one evening. During the visit, she informed me that her husband was with his parents because husband's father had taken a turn for the worse. (The father-in-law had been in ill health for a long time.) At one point, during the course of the evening, the phone rang. It was NDoofus' husband informing her that his father, (her father-in-law), had just died at home and that he will stay as long as necessary to deal with the aftermath. I expected NDoofus to either cry, cut our visit short, tell her husband she was on her way to support him....SOMETHING APPROPRIATE! She just acted matter-of-fact about the situation. (It struck me as odd then but I didn't know what words to put to it.)
After she hung up the phone, she decided she wanted to watch one of her DVDs. (My gut-instinct kept telling me that something just wasn't right about the situation but I didn't know why.) After she chose which movie she wanted to watch, she expected me to set up her DVD player FOR her! (Huh?!?!?) I asked her where she keeps all the user manuals because their electronic set up is a LOT more complicated than mine and I didn't feel comfortable blindly fiddling with anything. All I got was a blank stare and a comment that her husband normally takes care of this kind of stuff FOR her. I pointed out that he is not available right now and asked, again, where the user manuals for their electronic equipment is kept. Again, the blank stare. I figured, at that point, that I was going to have to logically figure out, on my own, where the most likely place might be to store user manuals for her electronics and began to systematically search. Instead of assisting me in the search, NDoofus gets on the phone and calls her husband at his parents' home!
I was appalled!!!! Her husband's father had just died! The body is still in the house and is barely cold! And NDoofus is calling her husband, in the midst of this tragedy asking him to walk her through the DVD setup because she wants to watch a movie NOW! Even though I was across the room from where she was standing, I could hear him yelling at her through the telephone and I did NOT blame him for his reaction! After he bawled her out for her insensitivity, she hangs up the phone and complains that her husband was being "difficult"! HUH?!?!?!?
If I knew then what I know now, I would have cut and run a L-O-N-G time ago!!!!!!!
Bones
-
Hi Bonesy-
Glad to see that you are still posting- I haver been away from the Board and wondered how you were. Are you feeling better?
NDoofusses never seem to evolve, do they?!? Thank goodness that you are seeing through the old smokescreens!
Hope All Is Well,
Changing
-
Hi Bonesy-
Glad to see that you are still posting- I haver been away from the Board and wondered how you were. Are you feeling better?
NDoofusses never seem to evolve, do they?!? Thank goodness that you are seeing through the old smokescreens!
Hope All Is Well,
Changing
Hi, Changing.
I have my good days and bad days. I've been trying to deal with bureaucrats at voc. rehab. and find it frustrating! If voc. rehab. is unable to assist with anything, I don't know what other options I can look to as I have been unable to find any employment on my own. My pension can only go so far and no further. It's hard trying not to worry.
Bones
-
Hello My Friend-
It is so hard to be stuck in a bureaucratic morass! I will put you on the prayer list tomorrow- there has to be something. Are you feeling okay to go back to work?
Love,
C.
-
Hello My Friend-
It is so hard to be stuck in a bureaucratic morass! I will put you on the prayer list tomorrow- there has to be something. Are you feeling okay to go back to work?
Love,
C.
Thanks, Changing!
I feel physically OK to go back to work part-time. Given my challenges with the possibility of Asperger's, I don't know what I'm good for.
Bones
-
Hi Bones,
Thanks for sharing. Sadly this is so believable and very familiar! A classic N!
At the beginning I agree you get those feeling inside that feels this isn't right.,yet you can't put your finger on it either.
Until we discover the the truth!
If I knew then what I know now, I would have cut and run a L-O-N-G time ago!!!!!!!
Ditto! seasons ox
-
Hi Bones,
Thanks for sharing. Sadly this is so believable and very familiar! A classic N!
At the beginning I agree you get those feeling inside that feels this isn't right.,yet you can't put your finger on it either.
Until we discover the the truth!
If I knew then what I know now, I would have cut and run a L-O-N-G time ago!!!!!!!
Ditto! seasons ox
Thanks, Seasons! I wish I had known sooner.
I recently saw a couple videos, on YouTube, about NPD and one of the descriptions rang a bell...."If you don't go along with their program, they become COLD..." THAT was the behavior I observed in NDoofus on the flight home!
Bones
-
Hey Bones,
A lot of Aspey and mild-autistic-spectrum folks are actually extra GOOD at certain kinds of work...
have you been able to get any vocational counseling or help in finding a spot?
You deserve a GOOD outcome, a peaceful place, a manageable task, a more comfortable life.
I am really sorry about the breakup or near-breakup.
Sometimes it seems when we most need support, the places where we find it have to change.
Don't give up, Bones. You are just as entitled to support and caring as any other human being, no matter WHAT, keep searching for what you need.
love,
Hops
-
Hey Bones,
A lot of Aspey and mild-autistic-spectrum folks are actually extra GOOD at certain kinds of work...
have you been able to get any vocational counseling or help in finding a spot?
You deserve a GOOD outcome, a peaceful place, a manageable task, a more comfortable life.
I am really sorry about the breakup or near-breakup.
Sometimes it seems when we most need support, the places where we find it have to change.
Don't give up, Bones. You are just as entitled to support and caring as any other human being, no matter WHAT, keep searching for what you need.
love,
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
I've been in communication with vocational rehabilitation. However, the contact person appears to be an NT who has ABSOLUTELY NO CLUE about what Asperger's means and what kinds of challenges it presents!
Bones
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Regarding NDoofus, I just learned, through a neutral third party, that NDoofus' younger sister has stage 4 cancer. I have no beef with the younger sister and I can only imagine how much pain she is in. I don't want to deal with NDoofus directly and, at the same time, I feel badly for the younger sister as well as their mother, who has advanced Alzheimer's.
Bones
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A thought occurred to me regarding the possibility of my having Asperger's. I'm wondering if my being an Aspie gave me the strength to resist NWomb-Donor's machinations as well as resist my FOO.
Bones
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What a brilliant notion!
That is a wonderful perspective, Bones.
So awed by you for having this kind of wisdom, the ability to see a gift within the problem.
You wise woman. That's grace.
love
Hops
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What a brilliant notion!
That is a wonderful perspective, Bones.
So awed by you for having this kind of wisdom, the ability to see a gift within the problem.
You wise woman. That's grace.
love
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
On a subconscious level, I was painfully aware that I was different from others, mentally, physically and emotionally. NWomb-Donor HATED having a defective child because it made her look bad. I think that is another reason why she tried to manipulate ways to have me thrown out of her house while she kept the money the government was giving her for my support. I'm glad that God gave me the gift of being an Aspie. It helped me to recognize that NWomb-Donor was such an evil B, even though I didn't have the words for it at the time!
Bones
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I've also come to the painful conclusion that bf just might be an N.
During the past six months, I've landed in the emergency room, twice. The first time, I was dealing with an asthmatic attack as a result of bronchitis. BF dropped me off at the ER, told me to call him when I was done, AND LEFT! The second time was a couple of weeks ago when I suddenly began vomiting uncontrollably and had NO idea what was wrong! When I began showing symptoms of dehydration, I contacted my doctor while bf was with me. When I relayed the message from the doctor that she was recommending another trip to the ER, bf blurts: "I don't have time for this!" and WALKED OUT! I had to get to the ER alone. Now he is wondering WHY I'M UPSET AT HIM!
Bones
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Sorry (Bones), does sound like classic N behavior. Painful to hear your bf maybe an N also!
Is this new? Or repeated abuse and neglect of someone who is suppose to love you?
seasons ox
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Sorry (Bones), does sound like classic N behavior. Painful to hear your bf maybe an N also!
Is this new? Or repeated abuse and neglect of someone who is suppose to love you?
seasons ox
There's been passive-aggressive behaviors for quite a while. When trips to the Emergency Room became a recent part of the equation, then this behavior became more blatant. He attempted to insist that I didn't need the Emergency Room while my doctor was telling me that I needed to go. My trust level in him dropped to zero.
Bones
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I am really sorry you are going through this ((((Bones)))).Life seems so trying sometimes with one pain on top of another until we really don't know if we can go on.
Love to you Bonesie, Ami
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I am really sorry you are going through this ((((Bones)))).Life seems so trying sometimes with one pain on top of another until we really don't know if we can go on.
Love to you Bonesie, Ami
Thanks, Ami.
I wish the pain would stop.
Bones
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Dear Bones
I hear your anguish. I am sending thoughts of peace to you. Love Ami
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Dear Bones
I hear your anguish. I am sending thoughts of peace to you. Love Ami
Thanks, again, Ami.
Bones
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My trust level in him dropped to zero.
Hi Bones,
I've been searching on-line for support on dumping my oldest N. During my searches I found many stories of victims of N's being abused when they got sick.
This sounds more common than I thought.
Then I remembered about 2 years ago I was sick for three months or so (nothing serious, just painful during it's duration). My N said to me, "When you are feeling better I will come and visit and you can make me my favorite potato soup." LOL........craziness!!
Thinking of you, seasons ox
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My trust level in him dropped to zero.
Hi Bones,
I've been searching on-line for support on dumping my oldest N. During my searches I found many stories of victims of N's being abused when they got sick.
This sounds more common than I thought.
Then I remembered about 2 years ago I was sick for three months or so (nothing serious, just painful during it's duration). My N said to me, "When you are feeling better I will come and visit and you can make me my favorite potato soup." LOL........craziness!!
Thinking of you, seasons ox
Thanks, Seasons.
These N's are really a piece of work!
Bones
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N's would be OUTRAGEOUSLY funny if it wasn't so sad. Love Ami
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N's would be OUTRAGEOUSLY funny if it wasn't so sad. Love Ami
So true! Especially those that seem to end up on court shows dissing the judges!!!!!!
Bones
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And then there's the outrageous, if not sad/funny "gifts" we get from N's, such as used leftovers.
Mother's Day is coming up next week. All the ads and commercials are bringing up painful memories.
Bones
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I was thinking of gifts today, too, Bones. My M would give me nice things and then want them back. Once she gave me a piano and wanted it back-lol.
Ami
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I was thinking of gifts today, too, Bones. My M would give me nice things and then want them back. Once she gave me a piano and wanted it back-lol.
Ami
Gee!!! What was her "excuse"?
Bones
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Her excuse was she shouldn't have given it to me when she really wanted it--lol. Ami
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Her excuse was she shouldn't have given it to me when she really wanted it--lol. Ami
It never ceases to amaze me...the lengths they will go to! (Shaking head)
Bones
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And at times, I often wait for "the other shoe to drop". NDoofus has left me alone for now. Another N recently sent me an e-mail asking me how I'm doing. I was honest with her about what's been going on recently. After that, no further responses from that N. I'm not surprised.
Bones
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When I was reading a posting about a kitty, it reminded me of a cat I lost, and the grief involved. I was living in an apartment so I couldn't keep the cat there. The cat was staying at the home of a (now former) friend. One day, while I was visiting both the friend and the cat, the cat was killed when it got inside the dryer. I was EXTREMELY upset over the death of the cat! The friend's response? She played herself as the victim and insisted that I was WRONG for grieving the cat! I look back on that experience and realize that this former friend was also an N. (There were several other incidents, that she created after the cat, where she insisted that EVERYONE should feel sorry for her because she is always the perpetual, poor "innocent" victim. Once I caught on, I cut off the friendship.)
Bones
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Dear Bones
I am trying to make myself as solid as I can be so I can know how to handle situations better. My biggest problem was not facing who I was so I needed the outside to affirm me. That allowed me to get in situations which were not healthy . My need for the outside to define me blinded me to what was actually happening.Have you been there? Ami
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Dear Bones
I am trying to make myself as solid as I can be so I can know how to handle situations better. My biggest problem was not facing who I was so I needed the outside to affirm me. That allowed me to get in situations which were not healthy . My need for the outside to define me blinded me to what was actually happening.Have you been there? Ami
Oh yeah! This is painfully familiar!
Bones
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A thought just occurred to me regarding NDoofus.
Some years ago, when we took her mother to a specialist for an Alzheimer's assessment, and subsequent diagnosis, NDoofus started her dithering routine with the doctor. Every time the doctor asked Mom a question, as part of the assessment process, NDoofus would either answer FOR her or CORRECT her mother. I told NDoofus to STOP and let the doctor do his job! She dithered about Mom making HER look bad! Finally, the doctor told NDoofus to step out of the office so that he could talk to Mom alone. At first, NDoofus objected, stating that Mom would give all kinds of WRONG answers. Again, I stated that she needed to LET THE DOCTOR DO HIS JOB! That's when NDoofus PLANTED herself in the office doorway and REFUSED to move while she continued to dither. I got fed up, got behind her, grabbed her by her collar and belt, then yanked her out of the office. (I felt like a bouncer at a nightclub!) I realize now that NDoofus was attempting to make the whole situation about HERSELF! Geez!!!
Bones
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Dear Bones
I see how N's really are missing a piece of apparatus. As I come out of the fog of being a D of an N and the shock that brought. I see that I can evaluate situations, feel things , and chose action.
N's are missing a piece of the evaluative process so they look like clueless boobs.
The nature of N is a clueless boob. I guess we all would be like this if we stayed stuck at an early age of development. Kids can act like N's and it is not strange,but expected. Kids go through an N stage.I think we all have this N kid in us.(I would like to see what Dr G says about that.)
Adult N's look ridiculous and are horrifying to the people around them.
I am seeing my M better and better each day as I face what I am truly like. That is not pretty b/c the human being's primal nature, which we all share ,is ugly.
I could never face my primal nature b/c my M shamed me so much . Now, I can face my primal self little by little . Having a primal self is human.
We can't run away from it w/out being emotionally ill, which I was.
As I face the truth, I feel better,more solid, more alive and more hopeful .
Ami
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Another memory that just occurred to me involved her job, which is funded by taxpayers. (God Help Us!)
She pulled a stunt, at her job, that resulted in the unnecessary cost of boo-koo taxpayer bucks. The result was that the head honcho read her the riot act in front of everyone at her job for what she did. (How she avoided getting fired, I do not know!) Later that day, she attempted to get "tea and sympathy" from me while telling me what happened at her job. She got NEITHER tea nor sympathy! I was so MAD that she thought NOTHING of WASTING TAXPAYER MONEY!!! And we are all taxpayers here! :x What made it worse was that she kept blathering: "But I ASSUMED it was okay!" What a dumb-a$$!!!!!
Bones
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N's ARE dumb asses b/c they don't have the highter reasoning that figures things out beyond a young childs way of thinking. Ami
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N's ARE dumb asses b/c they don't have the higher reasoning that figures things out beyond a young childs way of thinking. Ami
And it's made worse when our tax money is at risk.
Bones
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I've been mulling over a situation and would like to get some opinions.
I have an older cousin, on my father's side, that I did not know about growing up, even though she lived nearby for years. (Long story as a result of NWomb-Donor's lies.) When we finally met and I told her my name, she informed me that she did not want me to use that name because it reminded her of her daughter that died several decades ago. She wanted me to use the formal version of my name, (which I hate to do because it triggers memories of abuse). I've given her my phone number several times but she never calls me. Each time I've called her and spoken with her, she says she "lost" my number and asks me to give it to her again. Then she never calls. Her husband was a lot friendlier and we kept in touch until he died. I learned about his death, from a third party, after I sent my cousin-in-law an e-mail. I've also come to learn that this cousin will hold grudges for ANY kind of faux pas, mistake, etc. for YEARS. I've apologized for mistakes I've made but nothing changes.
Objectively, I realize that this cousin doesn't want to communicate with me unless it is on her terms, i.e. not being allowed to use my own name, my own identity. Subjectively, it is painful because I was blocked from knowing my father's side of the family because of NWomb-Donor's constant lying. I have not called her lately, when my medical situation got worse, because I don't feel comfortable discussing my medical conditions with her. We're blood-related but......
I still have to work through this emotionally even though, logically, I know where this is going.
Bones
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Dear Bones
What is the exact issue you would like an opinion on? Is it whether you should pursue the relationship. If it is, I think you know the answer down deep,but it hurts. She does not seem interested ,for whatever reason.
We all have been there, Bonesie.
Ami
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Dear Bones
What is the exact issue you would like an opinion on? Is it whether you should pursue the relationship. If it is, I think you know the answer down deep,but it hurts. She does not seem interested ,for whatever reason.
We all have been there, Bonesie.
Ami
Thanks, Ami.
Bones
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I saw these in "Dear Abby" this morning, May 16, 2009. Do they sound painfully familiar?
Bones
DEAR ABBY: I always dreamed of having a formal black-and-white wedding. I have four bridesmaids who have very different shapes and sizes. It wasn't easy choosing a dress that would fit them all. I thought I was being fair by choosing the skirt length and letting them select from a few different styles of tops.
One of the girls is now telling me she refuses to wear what I selected. She says it is "ridiculous" to make her wear it, and it will make her look stupid. (They are normal-looking dresses, Abby, not outdated or too trendy.)
She has e-mailed me several pictures of dresses she likes, but I don't care for them. Am I being a Bridezilla, or does she need to learn some wedding etiquette? Should I stand my ground -- after all, it is my day -- and risk losing a friendship? -- BRIDE-TO-BE IN MINNESOTA
DEAR BRIDE-TO-BE: You would not be a Bridezilla to remind this young woman whose wedding it is. And when you do, tell her you do not want her to be uncomfortable and you will "understand" if she wishes to back out. Believe me, the last thing you need is for her to be pouting when the pictures are taken on your wedding day.
DEAR ABBY: My mother-in-law bought me a pair of shoes while we were out shopping one afternoon. The boutique was pricey, but she insisted I get them. The next day I got a phone call from her saying she had "borrowing rights" because they cost more than she had expected. I was shocked about the price, too.
Now I'm embarrassed and wonder if I should reimburse her for half the cost, which I'm willing to do. What should I do? -- STEPPING OUT IN SAN ANTONIO
DEAR STEPPING OUT: Your mother-in-law bought WHOM a pair of shoes? Unless her feet are the same size or smaller than yours, I do not recommend sharing them. Once you do they will be stretched and will no longer fit you properly.
Because she has let you know she covets the shoes, consider giving them to her. Alternatively, if they have never been worn, consider returning them to the shop where they were purchased. That way your impulsive M.I.L. can get her money back or a store credit.
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Just wanted to share a thought or two, based on a situation that almost occurred some years ago....
Suppose you were either LC or NC with your N, then suddenly, one day, they show up on your doorstep, uninvited and unannounced, with a moving van and they announce that they are moving in with you! How would you respond?
Bones
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Just wanted to share a thought or two, based on a situation that almost occurred some years ago....
Suppose you were either LC or NC with your N, then suddenly, one day, they show up on your doorstep, uninvited and unannounced, with a moving van and they announce that they are moving in with you! How would you respond?
Bones
I would have the biggest panic attack!
Dh would drop her off at her adult children's home or a hotel.
Sometimes she hints if this or that happened she would have no where to go. I am silent, knowing she means me. But she has 5 adult children. :(
I think she likes to play shock treatment with me.
I wish I were at a point to honestly say I would slam the door in her face. lol..........not kidding though.
How did you handle it, Bones? You said, almost. So you must of thought of your options if it did occur...wondering? seasons
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It wasn't me it almost happened to but to the daughter of an N that I know.
This N made a HUGE production of giving up her apartment and announced that she was moving to another state to move in with her daughter. However, it appeared that she never bothered to inform the daughter of her plans. Fortunately, for the daughter, she found out in time and put a stop to it. The N is still living in her apartment and contacts me from time to time. She is a real trip!
Bones
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I'm feeling VERY aggravated right now! :P
Yesterday, my neighbor brought a Canada gosling to me that clearly needed medical attention ASAP! I don't have much background nor training in wildlife rescue so I attempted to call bf as he has more experience than I do in this area. All I got was his voicemail.
My neighbor loaned me his cat carrier and I drove over to bf's house, with the gosling, thinking he might be in his backyard and didn't hear his phone. I checked his backyard, no one is there, I pounded on his door with my fist, no response. I called his home phone, from my cell phone, while standing on his porch, and listened through his mail slot, only to discover that his phone's ringer is turned off! I called and left a voice mail message on his office phone, thinking he might have gone in to work.
Because I could not locate bf, I had to return home and explained to my neighbor that I could not locate bf. As a result of being unable to locate the appropriate veterinary treatment that the gosling needed, it died. Needless to say, I was VERY UPSET and VERY ANGRY about an innocent baby animal dying needlessly!!!! I NEVER heard ANYTHING back from bf for the remainder of the afternoon nor the evening in response to my voice mail messages.
This morning, he calls me, from his office phone, in response to the voice mail message I left there. He thought I still had the gosling with me. I informed him: "IT DIED!!!! WHERE WERE YOU?!?!?!?" He responded: "I was in my backyard painting my shed." When I told him that I had gone over to his home, been in his back yard, pounded on his door, YELLED for him, and saw for myself that he WAS NOT THERE, he got all flustered and stammers: "Uh-h-h-h-h, I don't know where I was!"
He's an IDIOT!!!!!! :x :P :evil:
Bones
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Dear((( Bones))))
It sounds like an upsetting and scary situation. I am sorry you had to deal with it alone.
Ami
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Dear((( Bones))))
It sounds like an upsetting and scary situation. I am sorry you had to deal with it alone.
Ami
Thanks, Ami.
Bones
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During the weekend, I participated in a photo shoot involving members of the Community Emergency Response Team. While talking to another CERT member, I discovered that there is an active e-mail list for CERT members in my geographic area. Turns out that the reason I did not know before is because one other CERT member convinced everyone that he would be THE contact person for another group that I am involved in. Apparently, this Ndividual decided unilaterally what HE would relay to this other group and what HE would filter out depending on what HE was interested in! (Typical N!) The last time he did this, the information he sent wasn't clear so I asked questions, attempting to obtain more accurate information. He responded with insults toward me because I DARED question HIM!
I was able to obtain the information I needed by conducting research and finding another contact person. When I went to the first photo shoot, I learned that the N acted on his own information, wouldn't listen to anybody, and went to the WRONG SITE! When the N finally showed up, all I did was look at him, then walked away. I had NOTHING I wanted to say to him as I already knew he was not going to hear me!
In the meantime, I managed to get on the CERT e-mail list so that I can get information on future events instead of being forced to depend on an N!
Bones
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This evening, bf comes over to take care of his birds. I attempt to have a conversation with him....no response. I try a second time....no response. I try again for a third and fourth time....no response while he continued to keep mucking about with his birds. It was as if I wasn't present within my own home! Finally, I commented: "Do I have to start throwing things to get a response?!?" THAT got a reaction!!!!! Sheesh!!!! :?
Bones
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It appears I DO have a voice! He just doesn't HEAR me! :P
Bones
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Isn't that the truth!
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Sure is!!!! It's also very FRUSTRATING!!!!!!!!
Bones
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I had an interesting experience, recently, that put me in the rare position of being only an observer of human behavior.
I was invited out to dinner with a group of relatives from out of town. After dinner, we had a discussion about whether or not to have dessert. The consensus was to go ahead and order dessert but then there was a debate of what type of dessert to order. (NICE dilemma to have!!!!! :mrgreen:) We decided on two types of desserts, one of them involving a LOT of chocolate while the other was a new type of dessert that had never been experienced before. I opted for the new experience as did a couple of others in the group. One wanted to order the chocolate and expected everyone else to order the chocolate as well. She was told to go ahead and order the chocolate for herself and everyone else will order what they want. She decided not to do that. As a result, the one that disagreed with ordering the new experience decided not to order any dessert at all.
When the new experience desserts arrived, I went ahead and started enjoying it, as did the others who ordered the same type of dessert. The one who decided NOT to order anything attempted to give us a guilt trip for eating a dessert that she didn't like. I just gave her a funny look and continued to enjoy my dessert without making any kind of rejoinder. It was interesting to just sit back and watch the others debate about the "guilt trip" while I simply enjoyed the new experience. The thought that kept running through my mind was: "Why are they wasting so much energy when they can be simply enjoying the experience instead?"
Bones
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When I was channel-surfing yesterday, I stumbled across a new concept that I never thought of before when Dr. Phil mentioned "brides-maid-zilla"! :lol: He described the concept of the "brides-maid-zilla" criticizing EVERTHING and/or interfering with the wedding preparations, etc. (Does this sound like N behavior to you? It does to me!) Then it came to me that NDoofus behaved just like a "brides-maid-zilla" when she attempted to rip apart my regalia and otherwise behaved like a total A$$ demanding that ALL the attention should be focused on HER and that I should drop my attending my own graduation so she could go sight-seeing!
What are your thoughts?
Bones
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Does anyone else have similar experiences with dealing with an "NBridesmaid-zilla"?
Bones
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Hi Bones,
I did not have bridesmaids at either wedding, and both times, my spouse/s (!) and I agreed that we didn't much like the wedding industry and had little interest in creating a pageant.
My first wedding was a simple compromise between the denominations/faiths we were raised in, and apart from us writing our own vows, it was traditional and mostly to please the parents. We did it all for $800.
The second time, there was more character and fun to the preparations (whole thing cost us $300) and it was lovely (marred by a nightmare wedding night, but that's another story)!
If I should marry again, no Zillas at all. I think I would marry in my backyard and would love it to be at a party, where so many good friends have gathered...and then we'd surprise the guests, produce a celebrant, and do it right then!
hugs
Hops
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Hi Bones,
I did not have bridesmaids at either wedding, and both times, my spouse/s (!) and I agreed that we didn't much like the wedding industry and had little interest in creating a pageant.
My first wedding was a simple compromise between the denominations/faiths we were raised in, and apart from us writing our own vows, it was traditional and mostly to please the parents. We did it all for $800.
The second time, there was more character and fun to the preparations (whole thing cost us $300) and it was lovely (marred by a nightmare wedding night, but that's another story)!
If I should marry again, no Zillas at all. I think I would marry in my backyard and would love it to be at a party, where so many good friends have gathered...and then we'd surprise the guests, produce a celebrant, and do it right then!
hugs
Hops
((((((((((((((((((((((Hops))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
That's a NEAT idea!!!!!! How about doing the backyard surprise when you and DH renew your vows?
Bones
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That could happen too, Bones!
(Once I snag a DH, that is...been single/divorced about 15 years now.)
hugs
Hops
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That could happen too, Bones!
(Once I snag a DH, that is...been single/divorced about 15 years now.)
hugs
Hops
O.I.C.
Oops! :oops:
Bones
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I really HATE it when ANYONE, ANYWHERE, attempts to take away my voice and deny my truth!!!!!! :x
I was reading through another website that is designed for survivors of N's and have posted a few times, referring to my experiences with NWomb-Donor as that momster does NOT deserve the title of "mother"! Then another poster comments that she is OFFENDED that I use the term "Womb-Donor" and, basically, told me that I SHOULD give that momster the title of "mother"! I stated my truth again and left that website. How DARE anyone tell me how I should think and feel about what happened to me and other innocent victims of her sick and twisted crimes!
Bones
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To give a brief update, I did go back and post a longer response that basically stated that I have a right to feel my emotions and that no one has the right to tell me to "get over it" in regard to what NWomb-Donor did to me and others. I stated that I have a right to have a voice.
Bones
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I've been thinking along the lines of past experiences with professional therapists. I still have not been able to find a therapist, in my geographic area, that is knowledgeable about NPD, Adult Aspie issues, and the issues that survivors of NPD abuse struggle with. After getting burned before, I'm feeling gun-shy about professional therapists in general, especially after the LAST professional who turned out to be a damaging N!
This board is not designed to be group therapy. At the same time, what other resources are available for survivors of N abuse within each of our geographic areas? There appears to be nothing in the DC Metro area.
Bones
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Not sure how many people are reading this thread anymore. I'm just blogging random thoughts as they occur to me as I read books about survivors of Narcissistic Womb-Donors and Sperm-Donors. Maybe that's part of the healing process given that I have not been able to find a face-to-face support group or therapist, in the DC Metro area, that is KNOWLEDGEABLE and EMPATHETIC toward survivors of NWomb-Donors and NSperm-Donors.
So far, NFrenemy has left me alone. Thank God!!!!!!
BonesMS
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To give a brief update, I did go back and post a longer response that basically stated that I have a right to feel my emotions and that no one has the right to tell me to "get over it" in regard to what NWomb-Donor did to me and others. I stated that I have a right to have a voice.
Bones
You really hit a nerve, my heart with this.
Your voice is so full of brutal honesty. I'm happy your using it so "we" get to hear your beauty and strength. Bravo to you!!! seasons
So far, NFrenemy has left me alone. Thank God!!!!!!
Great news.
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Thanks, Seasons!!!
Bones
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This might be a sign of growth. I'm starting to recognize NTrolls when they crawl out from under the bridge. I received a message, on another board, clearly aimed at an attempt to bait me into giving her Narcissistic Supply. My only response was short and sweet: "Don't Feed the Trolls".
Bones
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This might be a sign of growth. I'm starting to recognize NTrolls when they crawl out from under the bridge. I received a message, on another board, clearly aimed at an attempt to bait me into giving her Narcissistic Supply. My only response was short and sweet: "Don't Feed the Trolls".
Bones
LOL Ami
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Another random thought or two that just occurred to me based on an observation from last night...
To give a bit of background....I went out to dinner, last night, with a group of friends to a buffet-style restaurant. One of the foods was labeled "pork", but the way it was prepared, it was hard to tell what it really was. (It looked delicious though!) I got a serving of it and one of my friends also got a serving of it as well. As soon as I put the first forkful in my mouth, I quickly realized that it was NOT pork...it tasted like crab cake to me. Personally, I LOVE crab cake! Unfortunately, for my friend, she is ALLERGIC to shellfish! When we realized that the food had been mislabeled, it was immediately reported to the server, who acted like it was "no big deal", stated it was "just seafood", and removed the sign from the dish. (I haven't heard yet whether or not my friend had a bad reaction. However, we spoke to the manager about our concerns regarding putting customers' health at risk like this.)
This brought up some thoughts about that because a long time ago, I read a letter to an advice columnist about a "friend" who attempted to slip a serious allergen to the letter writer that could have killed her! When this "friend" was confronted about her actions, her excuse was that "Allergies do NOT exist! It's ALL in someone's head! And she was DETERMINED to PROVE SHE IS RIGHT AT ALL COSTS!" (This so-called "friend" could have KILLED somebody with this type of nonsense!)
This led to the question: "What kind of individual would DELIBERATELY violate someone's boundaries and put someone in harm's way just to 'prove a point'?" Most likely a Narcissist! In the N's mind, if SHE doesn't have any allergies, then allergies DON'T EXIST, PERIOD! To make it worse, these types of N's probably wouldn't hesitate to violate someone else's boundaries and jeopardize someone else's LIFE in attempt to PROVE that THEIR opinions are the ONLY CORRECT OPINIONS!
I'll be doing more thinking......
Bones
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Another random thought based on an observation from this past weekend. It appears that N's could have criminal minds as well!!!!!
When I had to go to Meg-National Bank to take care of some business, the behavior of the person in front of me caught my attention. She presented the teller with a business check, with the logo of Mega-National Bank prominently displayed, and asked to have it cashed. The individual did NOT have any ID with her and, as it turned out, she did NOT have an account with Mega-National Bank. The only thing she could provide was her fingerprint on the check. I also got the sense that this check was for an amount of a good-sized chunk of change.
As per bank policy, the teller checked the bank records for the account of this business and discovered that there was NO RECORD OF THE ACCOUNT!!! (I'm sensing a red flag here.) The teller politely and professionally explained to the customer that there is no record of the business account with Mega-National Bank and, because there is no record of this account existing, the check could not be cashed.
The person, who had presented the check, got loud and demanding! "What do you mean you can't cash this check?!?!? There's the logo of Mega-National Bank right there!!!!!!" The teller, again, tried to explain that they cannot cash a check written on a non-existent account. The customer got nastier and demanded to speak to the manager!!! (I'm seeing more red flags connected with this situation...i.e. check fraud, scamming, con-artist, forged check, fraudulent check, counterfeit check, etc.) The manager was standing right there and heard the whole exchange from the beginning. Before the manager could make a move, this person is on her cell-phone, calling someone and loudly complaining that the teller was RUDE to her!!! (The teller was VERY POLITE while explaining bank policy.)
The bank manager offered to help and took the check in the back while this individual continued her, loud, cell-phone conversation. When the bank manager returned, he politely explained that he was sorry to inform her but the check cannot be cashed because there is no record of this particular account ever existing with Mega-National Bank. The customer got even nastier and demanded to speak with the manager's supervisor. When it was explained that the supervisor would be in on Monday, she stormed out in a huff! (I'm strongly thinking that this person was attempting to pass off a counterfeit check and got caught! I wish the police had been contacted so they could have a little chat with her!)
What got me was her sense of absolute ENTITLEMENT! Her demands were clearly unreasonable!!
Bones
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I thought I would go ahead and bump this back up as I'm sensing some discussions on boundary violations.
I'm NC with people that I've come to realize are N's. Whenever I get tempted to contact one of them, I remind myself of why I went NC in the first place.
Bones
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Just blogging to vent.....
Is it just me, or has my awareness of NPD have my N-sensing radar becoming hyper-acute?
I encountered an N in my home community when she attempted to monopolize the ENTIRE meeting!!!!! (Long Story!)
Bones
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hi bones,
For a long as I have been reading your posts, I have nothng to submit on a positive vein!
I sense you are always in the lookout for the Ns surrounding you, but do you not ever have a positive move forward in your life to tell us here?
If I am wrong, I apologize.
Izzy
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I just need to vent!
Bones
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hi bones,
For a long as I have been reading your posts, I have nothng to submit on a positive vein!
I sense you are always in the lookout for the Ns surrounding you, but do you not ever have a positive move forward in your life to tell us here?
If I am wrong, I apologize.
Izzy
YUCH, Izzy. I don't like that. It is an arrow. Ami
PS She is obviously hurting, Izzy. Maybe,you should examine YOUR need to throw an arrow at a hurting person.
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Thanks, Ami.
I'm in the midst of peeling back layers of the "onion", on my own, without the benefit of a professional therapist to guide me through this maze. Hearing the worn-out phrases of: "That's in the past!", "Buck up!", "Get over it already!", "You need to FEEL differently because I DON'T LIKE your emotions!", and so forth, are NOT helpful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :x
Bones
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Thanks, Ami.
I'm in the midst of peeling back layers of the "onion", on my own, without the benefit of a professional therapist to guide me through this maze. Hearing the worn-out phrases of: "That's in the past!", "Buck up!", "Get over it already!", "You need to FEEL differently because I DON'T LIKE your emotions!", and so forth, are NOT helpful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :x
Bones
God, Do I know that!!!!! Ami
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Thanks, Ami.
I'm in the midst of peeling back layers of the "onion", on my own, without the benefit of a professional therapist to guide me through this maze. Hearing the worn-out phrases of: "That's in the past!", "Buck up!", "Get over it already!", "You need to FEEL differently because I DON'T LIKE your emotions!", and so forth, are NOT helpful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :x
Bones
That was not the point bones. I was wondering if you have some positve strides forward to tell us, or is something just not working--insights, etc. ?Oh yes I remember one. It was that your assertiveness came through. That's good, and is becoming easier to do?
Izzy
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Just give me my VOICE and let me vent!!!!!!
Bones
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I've learned a new concept on another survivors' board.......Trolls!!!!!
Bones
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YUP! I learned that, too! Ami
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How are you doing today, Bonsie? Ami
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How are you doing today, Bonsie? Ami
I'm hanging in there, one day at a time.
I'm in the process of reading some library books on home-based business to get some ideas of what I might be able to do.
Bones
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Which ones sound good? You know, if you are licensed as a counselor, they have call in counseling services. Have you heard of that? People call lines for counseling and pay for the "appointments". It is a phone based counseling service, IOW Ami
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Which ones sound good? You know, if you are licensed as a counselor, they have call in counseling services. Have you heard of that? People call lines for counseling and pay for the "appointments". It is a phone based counseling service, IOW Ami
I'm not a licensed or certified counselor or psychologist. I've learned the hard way that trying to find an appropriate supervisor, to obtain the required hours, is mainly about "WHO you know" instead of "WHAT you know". After attempting to work in the counseling field for about the past four years, I am feeling "burned out" in that regard. I'm also reluctant about dealing with "office politics" the older I get. Some of the stuff I have seen recently makes me wonder WHERE office decorum and office couture has gone! I've seen some show up in an office wearing stuff that left NOTHING to the imagination and they talked as if they were still out on the street! (And they were supposed to be PROFESSIONALS!) I couldn't hide my facial expressions about this, as I was basically old enough to be their mother and had been taught what office decorum was supposed to be... and so, I would eventually hear the usual...."You're a POOR fit! Get out!"...by people young enough to be my son or daughter.
When I recently attended a workshop at vocational rehabilitation, the guy who was leading the workshop told me, quite bluntly, "Age discrimination happens...but you can't prove it! Because of your age, your level of education, your health issues, and your disabilities that qualify you for voc. rehab. assistance, there are NO jobs that are willing to talk to you or hire you." That's when we spoke of the possibility of self-employment doing something I have always LOVED to do....genealogical research!
So while I'm waiting to be scheduled for another workshop, I'm doing homework on my own about becoming a look-up provider for people who are unable to travel to the DC area to visit the National Archives and the Library of Congress for research. I could do that for them since I have gained experience doing my own research there.
And so it goes......
Bones
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That sounds like it might be really good Bones cuz you have a passion for it! Ami
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That sounds like it might be really good Bones cuz you have a passion for it! Ami
Thanks, Ami!
Bones
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How is geneaology going , Bones? Ami
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How is geneaology going , Bones? Ami
I have a few genealogical mysteries, in my own family tree, that I'm working on solving.
Bones
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That sounds really interesting. Elaborate, if you care to. I would love to hear if you want to share . Ami
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That sounds really interesting. Elaborate, if you care to. I would love to hear if you want to share . Ami
Well, one branch of the family appears to involve soap-opera-type situations!!! At one point, my great-great-grandparents had a boarder living with them. Then my great-great-grandmother started having an affair with the boarder, while still married to my great-great-grandfather, and she had a baby by this other man! My great-great-grandfather reacted to this mess by getting very drunk and throwing himself under a train!
I've been trying to follow the "tracks" of this daughter, who was born under these less-than-auspicious circumstances, and her trail has been convoluted like you wouldn't believe!!!! She married her first husband, around the age of 16, had several children by him; he dies; she places most of her children in an orphan asylum; remarries husband #2 and reclaims her children; husband #2 drinks himself to death; remarries husband #3 who "adopts" her children; husband #3 mysteriously drops out of sight, (document-wise), and she turns up with husband #4. On top of that, she kept changing BOTH her first and last names!!!! The only way I could find her was through her children!!!! Now the question remains, what ultimately happened to her and when?
Bones
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WOW --That is interesting. Keep me posted.You always think that those things only happen in modern times.I guess it is naive to think that. Ami
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Double wow! My first thought after reading that was how we are all awash on this sea of humanity, this ocean of people that all have a story behind the person you see in front of you and how most of that story they don't even know. The steady stream of decisions and actions across years, decades, even centuries that led up to this very moment in each of our lives. How we are each a collective of those things.
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You expressed that beautifully, RS, like Thomas Wolfe! Ami
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Double wow! My first thought after reading that was how we are all awash on this sea of humanity, this ocean of people that all have a story behind the person you see in front of you and how most of that story they don't even know. The steady stream of decisions and actions across years, decades, even centuries that led up to this very moment in each of our lives. How we are each a collective of those things.
Thanks, RS!
Regarding this one ancestor, I'm wondering how her story is going to turn out in the end. Her direct descendants know very little about her and they don't even know when she died or where she is buried. I think that once I find all the pieces of the puzzle, it might provide some answers about her and how her decisions have impacted her descendants.
Bones
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WOW --That is interesting. Keep me posted.You always think that those things only happen in modern times.I guess it is naive to think that. Ami
I used to think the same way until I discovered that my paternal grandmother had lived with a few men and had babies out-of-wedlock with them, during the 1890's!!!! When she eventually married my grandfather, after living with him for several years and giving birth to my father, I learned that their relationship was inter-racial. Back in the 1890's, those types of things were SCANDALOUS!!!! Nowadays, it's barely a blip on anyone's radar!
Bones
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Your topic helps me to see how clueless I have been about human nature for a long time, Bones. I hope I am coming out of it and getting some wisdom. I think you have to know yourself first before you can have true wisdom.'To thine own self be true and you won't be false to another"
With an NM mirroring to you that you are worthless, the LAST thing you want to do is look at yourself . That is the dilemma of the abused child, maybe.
They can't know themselves and so they can't understand others and keep falling in to the same holes.
Ami
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Your topic helps me to see how clueless I have been about human nature for a long time, Bones. I hope I am coming out of it and getting some wisdom. I think you have to know yourself first before you can have true wisdom.'To thine own self be true and you won't be false to another"
With an NM mirroring to you that you are worthless, the LAST thing you want to do is look at yourself . That is the dilemma of the abused child, maybe.
They can't know themselves and so they can't understand others and keep falling in to the same holes.
Ami
True that!!!!
In addition, NWomb-Donor told a LOT of lies because, after all, "WHAT WOULD THE NEIGHBORS THINK?", if they knew the truth about my Dad being bi-racial? (They all knew he was a good man when he was alive so what did they care?)
Bones
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Just thinking.....
I was reading on another survivors' board about how NWomb-Donors seem to HOARD stuff! (They love THINGS but REFUSE TO LOVE THEIR OWN CHILDREN!) One poster shared that her N's hoarding became so bad that the house was CONDEMNED!!!! The NWomb-Donor's reaction, she tried to persuade her children to store HER STUFF in their homes!!! Needless to say, she got told "N-O!" You can guess what NWomb-Donor's reaction was to THAT!!!!! (After all, the NQUEEN is ENTITLED to whatever the NQUEEN WANTS!!!)
After reading the threads on hoarding, that's when I realized that is what one NFrenemy had been doing to several people, in different parts of the country for about 30 years!!!!!! DEMANDING that all of us be FREE STORAGE of HER STUFF FOREVER!!! And she got mad at me when I DARED to move and refuse to be HER FREE STORAGE ANY LONGER!!!! GEEZ!!!!!!!
Bones
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Just thinking.....
I was reading on another survivors' board about how NWomb-Donors seem to HOARD stuff! (They love THINGS but REFUSE TO LOVE THEIR OWN CHILDREN!) One poster shared that her N's hoarding became so bad that the house was CONDEMNED!!!! The NWomb-Donor's reaction, she tried to persuade her children to store HER STUFF in their homes!!! Needless to say, she got told "N-O!" You can guess what NWomb-Donor's reaction was to THAT!!!!! (After all, the NQUEEN is ENTITLED to whatever the NQUEEN WANTS!!!)
After reading the threads on hoarding, that's when I realized that is what one NFrenemy had been doing to several people, in different parts of the country for about 30 years!!!!!! DEMANDING that all of us be FREE STORAGE of HER STUFF FOREVER!!! And she got mad at me when I DARED to move and refuse to be HER FREE STORAGE ANY LONGER!!!! GEEZ!!!!!!!
Bones
LOL Bones! Ami
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Any other geneology information to share (((Bones)))) ? Ami
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Any other geneology information to share (((Bones)))) ? Ami
Well, I discovered that one distant cousin was a Hollywood actor during the Great Depression and a few other distant cousins were inventors.
Bones
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How far back do these cousins go , Bones? Ami
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How far back do these cousins go , Bones? Ami
Well, one relative was alive during the 1930's. He was the Hollywood actor. His movies were completely forgettable but, hey, it was EMPLOYMENT and it fed his family while others were standing in bread lines and soup lines. Can't fault him for doing what he could even if the scripts were LOUSY!
Another relative lived until the late 1880's. I've found other distant cousins that date back to the Revolutionary War. I find it FASCINATING!!!!!
Bones
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sure is
--and I have a relative who attended West Point with George Custer. He also, my ancestor, fought on both sides of the war, then went on to work on the railway that began in the USA and on up ionto Canada, and was charged with treason for blabbing about where the railway station would be in Saskatchewan.
Nevertheless the station was moved a few miles south and he was absolved of this charge of treason.
He is in Pierre Burton's book, "The Last Spike".
Also other ancestors run from ministers to murders! The good old days!!
Iz
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Just blogging today and I'm feeling out of sorts. Health-wise, I did not have a good day yesterday. It wasn't as bad as it had been but it could have been better.
Bones
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I'm sorry you haven't been feeling so good, Bones....
are you rallying some?
What's the latest on the physical stuff, if you want to talk about it?
I'm useless except for sympathy, but I send a LOT.
love,
Hops
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I'm sorry you haven't been feeling so good, Bones....
are you rallying some?
What's the latest on the physical stuff, if you want to talk about it?
I'm useless except for sympathy, but I send a LOT.
love,
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
I was having some asthmatic symptoms and was tiring more easily than usual. I hate it when that happens.
Bones
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Hi, Bones.
Butterfly (aka Joy)
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Dear(((( Bones)))))
So many people are not feeling well, now. It seems like a strange time. I hope it passes for you! Ami
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Hi, Bones.
Butterfly (aka Joy)
Hi, Butterfly (aka Joy)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Glad to see you here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((Joy)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Bones
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Dear(((( Bones)))))
So many people are not feeling well, now. It seems like a strange time. I hope it passes for you! Ami
Thanks, ((((((((((((((((Ami))))))))))))))))))
Bones
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bones? I work at a methadone clinic in Pa and they hire cs's. I don't know where you are from but if you live in Pa email me drbwrb1999@yahoo.com and I can give you more info. I saw that you went to schools for addiction pscychology. I don't know if you could be a cs or what you degree allows you to do.. but I was thinking about you. Sorry to hear about your loss. Your in my prayers and remember...that when god closes one door he always opens another.
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bones? I work at a methadone clinic in Pa and they hire cs's. I don't know where you are from but if you live in Pa email me drbwrb1999@yahoo.com and I can give you more info. I saw that you went to schools for addiction pscychology. I don't know if you could be a cs or what you degree allows you to do.. but I was thinking about you. Sorry to hear about your loss. Your in my prayers and remember...that when god closes one door he always opens another.
Thanks, Rugrats5! Glad to see you here!!!
Unfortunately, I live in the DC Metro area and the bureaucracy here, along with age-ism, is ridiculous! Besides, I'm not too keen on dealing with office "politics" anymore at my age. I'm looking forward to being my own boss, doing what I love to do.
Bones
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It's good to be able to talk about all kinds of stuff here. It's kinda sad that I could NEVER discuss ANYTHING with what's left of the FOO because of their propensity to violate my boundaries.
Bones
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BTW, the other board is experiencing boundary violations by an N named "D". Somehow, she's BACK-K-K-K!!!! And she is picking up where she left off!!!!! DANG!!!!!
Bones
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I guess when we encounter boundary violations, we can call them "Learning Experiences". It might be good practice to learn how to say "NO" and maintain healthy boundaries. It's so hard to learn when we NEVER were allowed to have boundaries growing up!
Just my thoughts..............................................
Bones
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I agree Bones. I've always had a problem with understanding boundaries, because I wasn't allowed them.
I've gradually learnt enough to not be a problem to anyone most of the time, but I still ask people to stop me if I'm going to far.
For instance, at work (I'm a teacher) I had to explain to the Headteacher why I needed a couple of days off for a hospital procedure and why. (pelvic pain, ovary problems,extremely heavy periods etc). I started explaining and could see him looking slightly uncomfortable and I had to say "I have trouble with boundaries, I'm not going to be embarrassed by any of this so you need to stop me when you are embarrassed." Bless him, he said he was fine.
The best way for me to learn how to have boundaries is to do the opposite of what my mother did most of the time!!
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I agree Bones. I've always had a problem with understanding boundaries, because I wasn't allowed them.
I've gradually learnt enough to not be a problem to anyone most of the time, but I still ask people to stop me if I'm going to far.
For instance, at work (I'm a teacher) I had to explain to the Headteacher why I needed a couple of days off for a hospital procedure and why. (pelvic pain, ovary problems,extremely heavy periods etc). I started explaining and could see him looking slightly uncomfortable and I had to say "I have trouble with boundaries, I'm not going to be embarrassed by any of this so you need to stop me when you are embarrassed." Bless him, he said he was fine.
The best way for me to learn how to have boundaries is to do the opposite of what my mother did most of the time!!
Thanks, Binks! That is a good way to learn!
Bones
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And, at the same time, there is SO MUCH to learn!!!!
Bones
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I'm still processing things that NWomb-Donor did to me while I was growing up.
One thing, from my medical history, has NEVER made sense.....until now.
When I was still an infant, in diapers, I was CONSTANTLY developing boils where my diaper covered...including INTERNALLY!!!! Now how in the HECK would an INFANT develop boils THERE unless NWomb-Donor was doing something she should NEVER have been doing IN THE FIRST PLACE?!?!?!?!?!?
Bones
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Still thinking random thoughts to blog about......
One of those thoughts was going back to the basics...what ARE boundaries?
I remember, when I was at a John Bradshaw workshop, that he discussed what HEALTHY boundaries were supposed to be. An example of a healthy boundary: where children were allowed to BE CHILDREN and not be triangulated into the marriage of their parents!
Bones
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Good question there. I think boundaries take many forms. Like giving people physical space --- giving grown children the freedom to move away from the parents without trying to make them feel bad for pursuing a career or other dreams. Or giving them space in time --- allowing them to loosen the rhythm of contact, allowing ourselves even to loosen the rhythm of contact, so that we are not required to call or visit according to what the other person wants but what we are comfortable with. And I think with healthy boundaries, these spaces don't signal the end of the relationship.
Emotional boundaries are harder. In my family, you would offend people if you didn't feel the same way they felt about a situation. It was assumed that you felt the same way the other person did. I think emotional boundaries mean that you recognize which emotions are yours and which emotions are the other persons' (and you are feeling empathetic with them but you don't necessarily feel the same way they do). And when you recognize what your feelings are, then you can act on those feelings rather than getting sucked into acting according to the other person's feelings.
Well, Bones, I haven't even begun to describe the many types of boundaries, but hopefully other people will jump in and contribute too!!! I wonder if there's any way to distill all the different types of boundaries down into a concise description or definition.
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I'm still processing things that NWomb-Donor did to me while I was growing up.
One thing, from my medical history, has NEVER made sense.....until now.
When I was still an infant, in diapers, I was CONSTANTLY developing boils where my diaper covered...including INTERNALLY!!!! Now how in the HECK would an INFANT develop boils THERE unless NWomb-Donor was doing something she should NEVER have been doing IN THE FIRST PLACE?!?!?!?!?!?
Bones
Dear Bones
I think our bodies and minds know the answers but the accessing of ourselves is the hard part. I am glad you are asking these questions!
I think that boundaries will come naturally when we love ourselves. I think it is a natural development of protecting what is in there--us. Ami
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I agree Bones. I've always had a problem with understanding boundaries, because I wasn't allowed them.
I've gradually learnt enough to not be a problem to anyone most of the time, but I still ask people to stop me if I'm going to far.
For instance, at work (I'm a teacher) I had to explain to the Headteacher why I needed a couple of days off for a hospital procedure and why. (pelvic pain, ovary problems,extremely heavy periods etc). I started explaining and could see him looking slightly uncomfortable and I had to say "I have trouble with boundaries, I'm not going to be embarrassed by any of this so you need to stop me when you are embarrassed." Bless him, he said he was fine.
The best way for me to learn how to have boundaries is to do the opposite of what my mother did most of the time!!
Oh Gosh, Binks. I have put my foot in my mouth so many times ! Ami
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Good question there. I think boundaries take many forms. Like giving people physical space --- giving grown children the freedom to move away from the parents without trying to make them feel bad for pursuing a career or other dreams. Or giving them space in time --- allowing them to loosen the rhythm of contact, allowing ourselves even to loosen the rhythm of contact, so that we are not required to call or visit according to what the other person wants but what we are comfortable with. And I think with healthy boundaries, these spaces don't signal the end of the relationship.
Emotional boundaries are harder. In my family, you would offend people if you didn't feel the same way they felt about a situation. It was assumed that you felt the same way the other person did. I think emotional boundaries mean that you recognize which emotions are yours and which emotions are the other persons' (and you are feeling empathetic with them but you don't necessarily feel the same way they do). And when you recognize what your feelings are, then you can act on those feelings rather than getting sucked into acting according to the other person's feelings.
Well, Bones, I haven't even begun to describe the many types of boundaries, but hopefully other people will jump in and contribute too!!! I wonder if there's any way to distill all the different types of boundaries down into a concise description or definition.
Thanks, HeartofPilgrimage!
Distilling all the different typs of boundaries down into a concise description or definition is going to take a LOT of thinking! To begin the process, I'm thinking in the following terms:
Boundaries of Mind, (Don't dictate what I am allowed to think!)
Boundaries of Body, (Don't touch me without my permission!)
Boundaries of Spirit, (Don't attempt to crush me!)
Boundaries of Heart, (Don't dictate what I am allowed to feel!)
Boundaries of Family, (e.g. NWomb-Donors, NBio-Chutes, NSperm-Donors, NBio-Spurts do NOT have a right to interfere with YOU, YOUR marriage, YOUR spouse and/or YOUR children! PERIOD!!!!!)
Boundaries of Living Space, (i.e. your room, your apartment, your condo, your house, your land, your street) - NO ONE HAS A RIGHT TO TRESPASS, WHETHER OR NOT YOU ARE A CELEBRITY!!!!!!
(The N's nose ENDS where my business BEGINS!)
(I'll think of more as I contemplate.)
Bones
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I'm still processing things that NWomb-Donor did to me while I was growing up.
One thing, from my medical history, has NEVER made sense.....until now.
When I was still an infant, in diapers, I was CONSTANTLY developing boils where my diaper covered...including INTERNALLY!!!! Now how in the HECK would an INFANT develop boils THERE unless NWomb-Donor was doing something she should NEVER have been doing IN THE FIRST PLACE?!?!?!?!?!?
Bones
Dear Bones
I think our bodies and minds know the answers but the accessing of ourselves is the hard part. I am glad you are asking these questions!
I think that boundaries will come naturally when we love ourselves. I think it is a natural development of protecting what is in there--us. Ami
Thanks, Ami.
Bones
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Brainstorming welcome!
Bones
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Boundaries of Mind, (Don't dictate what I am allowed to think!)
Boundaries of Body, (Don't touch me without my permission!)
Boundaries of Spirit, (Don't attempt to crush me!)
Boundaries of Heart, (Don't dictate what I am allowed to feel!)
Boundaries of Family, (e.g. NWomb-Donors, NBio-Chutes, NSperm-Donors, NBio-Spurts do NOT have a right to interfere with YOU, YOUR marriage, YOUR spouse and/or YOUR children! PERIOD!!!!!)
Boundaries of Living Space, (i.e. your room, your apartment, your condo, your house, your land, your street) - NO ONE HAS A RIGHT TO TRESPASS, WHETHER OR NOT YOU ARE A CELEBRITY!!!!!!
Boundaries of Personhood, (Don't insult me because I DARE to have a LIFE WITHOUT YOUR PERMISSION!!!!!!)
(The N's nose ENDS where my business BEGINS!)
Bones
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Those are awesome, Bones ... I thought, how can I use your categories and turn them into stuff that WE can do to set boundaries ... so here's my attempt:
Boundaries of Mind ... My thoughts are my own and I will be alert to attempts to control or dictate my thoughts.
Boundaries of Body ... My body is my own and I will be the one to determine who touches me and in what way.
Boundaries of Spirit ... My spirit is my vital self, and I will protect my vital self from people and situations that harm me.
Boundaries of Heart ... My feelings are what they are. I have a right to fully experience them.
Boundaries of Family ... My relationship with my spouse is private and between us only. The way I parent and my relationship with my children is between me and them only.
Boundaries of Living Space ... My home is my castle, and I have a right to say who can enter and for how long and in what way.
Boundaries of Personhood ... I must make decisions about how to live my life from the perspective of what is best for me (and what is best for those I am responsible for, such as my kids ... but not what is best for people that ought to have their own lives to lead).
Thanks, Bones, this whole exercise has been very helpful to me! I have a much clearer idea of where I need to work on boundaries now.
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You're very welcome, Heart of Pilgrimage!
Another boundary that I have to think of a name for:
"You do NOT have the right to smear my name because I DARE to refuse to blindly obey your demands for total, unquestioned control over me!"
Bones
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Just thought of a possible name for what I described above:
Boundaries of Integrity
Bones
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Bones and HOP. As a newby to N, I have a lot of work and thinkiing to do about boundaries. Your posts are extremely helpful to me. Thank you. They are also very empowering and validating that I can have boundaries that NM can't cross. It's my life and my right to my boundaries. She is NOT :) my MOTHER-which to her means she owns me.
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Boundaries, a big issue. My NM has very tight and strict boundaries and o my if you can't smell where her exact boundary is. Other people however are not allowed boundaries by her. If somebody tries to put up a boundary to her, the person gets villivied.
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I think a big part of my thinking I was BAD was that I simply wanted to be a whole person ,an independent thinking, feeling entity with boundaries.
I think she made me think I would kill her if I became independent in this way. Ami
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Bones and HOP. As a newby to N, I have a lot of work and thinkiing to do about boundaries. Your posts are extremely helpful to me. Thank you. They are also very empowering and validating that I can have boundaries that NM can't cross. It's my life and my right to my boundaries. She is NOT :) my MOTHER-which to her means she owns me.
N's need to understand that slavery was OUTLAWED over 100 years ago! :)
Bones
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Boundaries, a big issue. My NM has very tight and strict boundaries and o my if you can't smell where her exact boundary is. Other people however are not allowed boundaries by her. If somebody tries to put up a boundary to her, the person gets villivied.
That's the kind of cr*p I constantly got from NFOO, after I moved into my own place, which finally led to my going NC with all of them! I got sick and tired of their nonsense!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bones
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I think a big part of my thinking I was BAD was that I simply wanted to be a whole person ,an independent thinking, feeling entity with boundaries.
I think she made me think I would kill her if I became independent in this way. Ami
Sounds like she wanted to FORCE you to become sick and dependent on HER so that she could play puppet-master and pull your strings according to HER whims!!!! (N's have a SICK and TWISTED way of thinking! :P)
Bones
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Bones - you said it.
It never ceases to amaze me that what they want for themselves, such as respect, they never think that anyone else has the same rights.
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Bones - you said it.
It never ceases to amaze me that what they want for themselves, such as respect, they never think that anyone else has the same rights.
EXACTLY!!!! It NEVER occurs to them that R-E-S-P-E-C-T is a TWO-WAY STREET!!!! If they WANT RESPECT, then they have to EARN RESPECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bones
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Bones - you said it.
It never ceases to amaze me that what they want for themselves, such as respect, they never think that anyone else has the same rights.
EXACTLY!!!! It NEVER occurs to them that R-E-S-P-E-C-T is a TWO-WAY STREET!!!! If they WANT RESPECT, then they have to EARN RESPECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bones
This is so interesting to me. The N's don't know what respect is so they can't earn it. My Nmom is clueless, so I think. I am very confused about N's boundaries, or lack thereof, and their inappropriate behavior...what's the difference? Is one a calculating and conniving behavior to get their needs met and the other is it just utter cluelessness, almost an ignorance??? I didn't want to hijack your thread about that so I started a new topic.
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Bones - you said it.
It never ceases to amaze me that what they want for themselves, such as respect, they never think that anyone else has the same rights.
EXACTLY!!!! It NEVER occurs to them that R-E-S-P-E-C-T is a TWO-WAY STREET!!!! If they WANT RESPECT, then they have to EARN RESPECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bones
This is so interesting to me. The N's don't know what respect is so they can't earn it. My Nmom is clueless, so I think. I am very confused about N's boundaries, or lack thereof, and their inappropriate behavior...what's the difference? Is one a calculating and conniving behavior to get their needs met and the other is it just utter cluelessness, almost an ignorance??? I didn't want to hijack your thread about that so I started a new topic.
Oh, they know EXACTLY what they are doing!!!! They just DON'T CARE how it impacts others! I've encountered some N's who have this attitude of "ABSOLUTE ENTITLEMENT" and get NASTY when they are told "N-O" to their DEMANDS!
Bones
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I agree ... it's not narcissism if you are truly clueless. People on the autism spectrum (such as Asperger's disorder) often really are clueless, and they also have trouble taking other people's perspectives. But, if somebody is on the autism spectrum, even if you aren't familiar with the disorders ... you can tell that this person is "odd" and that perhaps they don't understand the consequences of their behaviors. On the other hand, somebody that is narcissistic can take other people's perspectives well enough to manipulate. They are just lacking in feeling for the other person. They can totally suck you into thinking they are kind, charming, etc., and then WHAM, sucker-punch you. A clueless person (like in the autism spectrum) can't be that good at knowing how to act to suck you in.
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I agree ... it's not narcissism if you are truly clueless. People on the autism spectrum (such as Asperger's disorder) often really are clueless, and they also have trouble taking other people's perspectives. But, if somebody is on the autism spectrum, even if you aren't familiar with the disorders ... you can tell that this person is "odd" and that perhaps they don't understand the consequences of their behaviors. On the other hand, somebody that is narcissistic can take other people's perspectives well enough to manipulate. They are just lacking in feeling for the other person. They can totally suck you into thinking they are kind, charming, etc., and then WHAM, sucker-punch you. A clueless person (like in the autism spectrum) can't be that good at knowing how to act to suck you in.
EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Bones
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And N's seem to have this FRUSTRATING attitude of:
"Boundaries? You don't need no stinking boundaries! I OWN YOU!!!!" :P
Bones
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N's are FRUSTRATING!!!!!
Bones
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During this past weekend, I found myself dealing with two N's in our group. One of them is NOTORIOUSLY LATE alot of the time! He knew that we were supposed to meet up in the hotel lobby at 4:30 PM to decide where to go for dinner. Four of us were there, waiting and hungry after a long drive, and aware that we needed to get to the Franklin Institute by a certain time to see the Exhibit AND the IMAX movie. The rest of the group were NOWHERE in sight!
When one of us called the other half of the group, we learned they were STILL ON THE ROAD because the N couldn't be bothered to GET UP OUT OF BED like everyone else!!!! The tardy party were informed that we were heading to the Hard Rock Cafe as we were hungry and we would see them at the Franklin Institute later on.
At the Hard Rock Cafe, getting dinner, the tardy party managed to arrive and ordered dinner as well. The wait staff was quick in getting everything on the table so we managed to finish dinner at roughly the same time. As we were preparing to head out to catch a cab to the Franklin, the N INSISTED that HE WANTED DESSERT and EXPECTED EVERYONE TO WAIT FOR HIM!!!!!! He was reminded that we have to catch a cab, go across town, find our way into the Franklin Institute, find where we need to get the necessary information AND the tickets for BOTH the Exhibit AND the movie! We also pointed out that they were NOT going to delay the movie for HIM! He refused to budge and told the waiter to bring him HIS DESSERT, then looked at us EXPECTING us to sit back down and WAIT FOR HIM! I looked at the group and said: "Let's go!" and proceeded out the door! The ones I arrived with also left the restaurant and we walked back to the cab-stand in front of the hotel. (I later learned that the N got REAL FLUSTERED when we voted with our feet regarding his behavior!)
At the Exhibit, we had the chance to do a photo-op on the Enterprise-D bridge. I got into the Captain's chair, (which is REALLY COMFORTABLE), and relaxed. The other N in our group commented, "You need to get up! Mr. N is the CAPTAIN!" I looked at both N's, remembering how one screwed up the reservations and VIP passes while the other N tried to force all of us to be late so HE could have dessert, (along with getting out of bed late that morning, messing with everyone's schedules), and I thought to myself, "NO! I ain't getting up for an N! He snoozes, he loses!" I stayed put!
Bones
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I was, most likely, acting like an N and, at the same time, I was feeling: "Dag-gum it! I'm sick and tired of N's trampling on schedules, boundaries, etc. Time to do a sit-down strike or a sit-in!!!!!"
Bones
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I think you did exactly the right thing! I too have gotten to where I'd rather go ahead and do things on my own than to stay angry because of someone else's thoughtlessness.
My mother has always had to have everything done unreasonably EARLY. If it was a quarter til 10:00, she'd say "It's 10:00," pressuring everybody to conform to her compulsion to be early. Thanksgiving has to be planned in July. Every time I go on a trip, five days before she wants to know if I am packed. The implication being that I ought to be.
I have noticed the use (misuse) of time by Ns in general. In the case of your trip, the Ns use it to be late and thereby control everybody else. But also there are Ns in my life that use being 'way early to control others too. They try to stay out in front of everybody else by being the first to make their plans for holidays, by buying something for group use 'way before everybody else has even begun thinking about needing it, arriving first to stake out their place, etc. It drives me crazy because they are so focused on controlling every situation that by the time a normal person starts to think about something, they have already taken it over.
I have no idea how to deal with these time-suckers.
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I think you did exactly the right thing! I too have gotten to where I'd rather go ahead and do things on my own than to stay angry because of someone else's thoughtlessness.
My mother has always had to have everything done unreasonably EARLY. If it was a quarter til 10:00, she'd say "It's 10:00," pressuring everybody to conform to her compulsion to be early. Thanksgiving has to be planned in July. Every time I go on a trip, five days before she wants to know if I am packed. The implication being that I ought to be.
I have noticed the use (misuse) of time by Ns in general. In the case of your trip, the Ns use it to be late and thereby control everybody else. But also there are Ns in my life that use being 'way early to control others too. They try to stay out in front of everybody else by being the first to make their plans for holidays, by buying something for group use 'way before everybody else has even begun thinking about needing it, arriving first to stake out their place, etc. It drives me crazy because they are so focused on controlling every situation that by the time a normal person starts to think about something, they have already taken it over.
I have no idea how to deal with these time-suckers.
Yes, it can be FRUSTRATING!!!!!
I do tend to be early at times, while trying to plot out a course of what needs to get done, when it needs to be completed, what variables could interfere, etc., etc. to try to find a REASONABLE course to take. I've developed this habit in reaction to N's who are HABITUALLY LATE TO EVERYTHING!!!
Bones
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Hi Bones,
I think someone posted these a few years ago. Even so, they are still great reminders...
tt
You Have the Right:
To receive emotional support.
To live free from angry outbursts and rage.
To be heard and responded to with respect and acceptance.
To have your own view, even if your partner has a different view.
To be called by no name that devalues you.
To have your feelings and experiences acknowledged as real.
To receive a sincere apology for any comments you may find offensive.
To live free from criticism and judgment.
To receive clear and honest communication.
To be respectfully asked rather than ordered.
To live free from accusation and blame.
To have your beliefs and your interests spoken of with respect.
To receive encouragement.
To live free from emotional and physical threats.
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Bravo Bones :D
Aside: Bones, is the Star Trek exhibit permanantly on display or will it be leaving? I'm going to be in PA in December and LOVE Star Trek.
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Hi Bones,
I think someone posted these a few years ago. Even so, they are still great reminders...
tt
You Have the Right:
To receive emotional support.
To live free from angry outbursts and rage.
To be heard and responded to with respect and acceptance.
To have your own view, even if your partner has a different view.
To be called by no name that devalues you.
To have your feelings and experiences acknowledged as real.
To receive a sincere apology for any comments you may find offensive.
To live free from criticism and judgment.
To receive clear and honest communication.
To be respectfully asked rather than ordered.
To live free from accusation and blame.
To have your beliefs and your interests spoken of with respect.
To receive encouragement.
To live free from emotional and physical threats.
Thanks, TT!!!
Bones
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Bravo Bones :D
Aside: Bones, is the Star Trek exhibit permanantly on display or will it be leaving? I'm going to be in PA in December and LOVE Star Trek.
Unfortunately, the Exhibit leaves on September 20th. I'm not certain where it might travel to next, possibly San Diego.
Bones
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I'm still hearing rumors that the Exhibit is headed for San Diego but I have not been able to confirm that yet.
Bones
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I found myself having to remind bf Blueberry that my boundaries WILL BE RESPECTED OR ELSE!!!!!
We got into a heated exchange over the use of my laundry facilities after I received a letter regarding the increase of electricity use and subsequent increase in my utility bills. He attempted to deny that he EVER offered to pay me extra for using my washer and dryer because, after all, he's already paying me a small amount in rent, and bringing me a FEW groceries, (while trying to whine about the rent being a "financial hardship" for him and IGNORING that his concept of "groceries" would be, MAYBE, ONE EAR OF CORN)! :x When he attempted to deny what he previously told me, I responded: "Oh, really? Let me play back our initial conversation when you FIRST asked me for permission to use my washer and dryer after yours broke....." (and proceeded to give him a verbatim report)! I reminded him that (1) I am NOT working and have been UNABLE TO FIND EMPLOYMENT, (2) my monthly pension is SMALL and CANNOT STRETCH ANY FURTHER, (3) I am dealing with health and medical expenses that are BUSTING MY BUDGET, (4) he is WORKING SIX DAYS A WEEK, leaving little or NO time for US, (5) given the amount of hours he is working per week, with his Ph.D. I KNOW that he is pulling in MORE MONEY PER WEEK THAN I'M RECEIVING IN MY PENSION PER MONTH, (6) with this recent receipt of notice that my utility bills are skyrocketing on top of my health and medical issues, either he pay extra for the utilities THAT HE IS INCREASING OR TAKE HIS MESS TO THE LAUNDROMAT AND PAY THERE!!!!!! :P (He ponied up the money under MORE grumbling and protest! I also discovered that he had done SEVERAL loads of laundry, while I was in Philadelphia and NEVER BOTHERED TO CLEAN OUT THE LINT FILTER IN MY DRYER!! I had SHOWED HIM HOW TO DO THAT AND STRESSED THAT IT IS A SAFETY ISSUE TO TAKE CARE OF!!! I DON'T NEED TO HAVE MY DRYER TO CATCH FIRE FROM THE OVERFLOWING LINT! He attempted to plead ignorance and attempted to DENY that as well! IDIOT!!!! :P) SHEESH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Can I SMACK HIM NOW?!?!?!?!?)
Bones
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He seems to think ONLY of himself and HIS OWN CONVENIENCE!!!! He just DOES NOT GET IT!!!!!! :evil:
Bones
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I'm also having a debate with myself regarding my counselor-trainee status.
I just recently received a letter informing me that my trainee status is due to expire on January 1, 2010. If I want to petition for an extension, I have to provide documentation justifying this extension. Part of me is SICK AND TIRED of the politics that I struggled with for the past five years and I'm not certain if I CAN obtain the required documentation to justify the extension. So I'm asking myself if I REALLY want to continue this futile struggle, dealing with age discrimination, etc. when my heart is no longer in this. Once I let this expire, I don't think there is any turning back.
I prefer to be my own boss and I cannot be my own boss while being a trainee. I've come to realize that there will probably NEVER be any place that is willing to hire a trainee who is: (a) older than the supervisor, (b) has a higher educational degree than the supervisor, (c) being old enough to be everyone's mother or grandmother in the office and (d) continuously struggling with chronic health issues that make working full time impossible! I'm just SICK AND TIRED!
Bones
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(((((((((((((Bones))))))))))))
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Bones, what specifically are you a trainee for?
Becoming a licensed counselor? Or therapist? Of what kind?
You're a trainee on your way to a credential? Is it LCSW?
I though it might be good to start imagining ways in which the NEVER
might not be true...
love
Hops
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(((((((((((((Bones))))))))))))
Thanks, English.
Bones
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Bones, what specifically are you a trainee for?
Becoming a licensed counselor? Or therapist? Of what kind?
You're a trainee on your way to a credential? Is it LCSW?
I though it might be good to start imagining ways in which the NEVER
might not be true...
love
Hops
Since 2005, I have been classified as an Alcohol and Drug Counselor Trainee. I worked for a little over a year at one facility before I was forced out and replaced with a fully-certified counselor. I never could find out how many hours I managed to accumulate because my former supervisor would REFUSE to give me a straight answer. (I also suspect that one of the factors that made them decide to get rid of me was because, with the achievement of a Master's degree, I have a higher educational level than she did. However, they KNEW I was working on a Master's degree when they hired me and told me that was THE reason they hired me in the first place!) Contacting the Board, to find out how many hours I have accumulated resulted in dealing with more "politicians" who REFUSE to give me a straight answer, even TODAY! I'm tired and I'm frustrated!
Bones
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I think that the bottom line is that I just don't like bureaucrats!
Bones
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Especially bureaucrats who use and abuse people who don't have the same power advantage as they do! :x
Bones
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Occasionally, when a memory comes up, a flash of insight will follow...especially now that I am understanding Narcissism and its ramifications.
One memory that came up was regarding NDoofus and one of her multiple whining sessions. (She's no longer in my social circle, thank God!) She was whining that one of her sisters DARED TO REFUSE her ROYAL COMMAND to IMMEDIATELY DROP EVERYTHING AND GO SHOPPING WITH HER ROYAL PERSON! The reason this sister said "NO"...........? It just so happened that this sister already had an appointment, at that time, with her child's teacher for a parent-teacher conference concerning her child's educational needs. This sister had the AUDACITY to tell QUEEN NDOOFUS that her child's needs were more important than going shopping with HER ROYAL SELF!!!!! One of NDoofus' comments was most telling:
"WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT KID?!?!?!? I WAS HERE F-I-R-S-T!!!!!" :shock:
Is THAT Narcissistic or what?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Bones
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Another thought that just came to mind regarding how NDoofus attempted to relate to me......
She attempted to CONTROL EVERY SECOND and ASPECT of my life and DEMANDED that I INSTANTANEOUSLY DROP whatever was going on in my life, (i.e. working with an employer, having asthmatic bronchitis, dealing with a heart condition, visiting with boyfriend, working on a graduate school project, etc.), for HER ROYAL CONVENIENCE!!!!! At one point, she attempted to use the excuse that since SHE BOUGHT ME A GIFT, (for Christmas, my birthday, housewarming, graduation, etc.) THEREFORE SHE'S ENTITLED TO.......to which I would usually respond: "THAT DOES NOT MAGICALLY MAKE ME YOUR SLAVE! I AM ENTITLED TO HAVE A LIFE OUTSIDE OF YOUR ORBIT!!!!!!!" :P
BTW, whenever anyone DARES say the word "NO" to NDoofus, she usually gives a glassy-eyed blank stare, then try to passively-aggressively FORCE you to do what SHE wants or passively-aggressively attempt to PUNISH you for DARING to cross her ROYAL SELF! (She is no longer in my social circle. I'm analyzing my observations now so I can recognize the warning flags quickly so I won't have to deal with an N like this again!)
Bones
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What is an NDoofus? Like the 'friend' after your mortar board in post #1, 2 years ago? and is she still bugging you?
How did she respond to ""THAT DOES NOT MAGICALLY MAKE ME YOUR SLAVE! I AM ENTITLED TO HAVE A LIFE OUTSIDE OF YOUR ORBIT!!!!!!!"
Maybe she will now leave you alone?
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I'm just blogging from time to time to get my thoughts down in writing and analyze things. It may take YEARS to work through stuff as memories pop up from time to time! Sometimes an incident that took place two years ago suddenly becomes more clear as my understanding of narcissism evolves.
Bones
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I'm still analyzing the types of N's that I've encountered so I can learn how to avoid entrapment the next time I encounter another N. I'm painfully cognizant of the narcissistic rage-aholic given that NWomb-Donor often flew into narcissistic rages...often without ANY warning or logical reason! During the past 40+plus years, I've learned about passive-aggressive manipulative Narcissists. And then there are Narcissists who attempt to use religion as their weapon of choice to attempt to FORCE you to bend to THEIR demands, no matter how OUTRAGEOUS those demands are!!!!
Bones
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Examples of Narcissistic Rage-aholicism:
BEATING the cr*p out of you for peeling an onion WRONG (while IGNORING the fact that she NEVER BOTHERED to teach you in the FIRST place and DEMANDING that you LEARN IT PERFECTLY THE FIRST TIME THROUGH OSMOSIS!)
BEATING the cr*p out of NGCB because he DARED to tell her he was moving in with a roommate after graduating from high school!
Bones
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Did you literally get beaten up, Bones? Ami
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Did you literally get beaten up, Bones? Ami
Yes.
Why did you ask the question like that?
Bones
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It was NOT to debate you at all or question your validity. It is just so hard for me to picture physical abuse cuz I didn't have it. I was just trying to understand it better. Sorry if my question seemed offensive or insensitive. I think you know me enough by now to know it was not meant in that way and I am glad you questioned me.
Ami
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It was NOT to debate you at all or question your validity. It is just so hard for me to picture physical abuse cuz I didn't have it. I was just trying to understand it better. Sorry if my question seemed offensive or insensitive. I think you know me enough by now to know it was not meant in that way and I am glad you questioned me.
Ami
Thank you.
I need to get across that NWomb-Donor was a VIOLENT Rage-aholic who BEAT both me and NGCB with ANYTHING she could get her hands on!!!! And OFTEN there was ABSOLUTELY NO LOGICAL REASON for her RAGE at us!
Bones
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I respect you so much for going through ALL that and being a decent ,compassionate, insightful, intelligent and kind person! Ami
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I respect you so much for going through ALL that and being a decent ,compassionate, insightful, intelligent and kind person! Ami
Thanks, Ami.
Bones
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Bones,
Congrats on your graduation and sorry to hear that you had to deal with a "friend" that tried to cause you grief but you triumphed and came through...you have had a lot to deal with in life with your Nrageolic mother. I didsn't get physically beat..I got the emotional abuse if I didnt drop what I was doing or if I did something and it wasnt to her liking I had to repeat it because It wasnt good enought the first time around. I would tell her everyone does stuff differently, but she didnt care to hear. The only physical stuff was her pulling my hair or digging her nails into me or her slapping me in the face...my step dad was the one who got physical with me..he would hit me and knock me to the ground like we were wrestling and it was a struggle to get awway from him. I admire you BNones when I read your posts...I really wish I could get out the anger that I have for my mom but I eventually end up feeling gulity for being angry with her that maybe she will change,ha ha like that will happen, but I am getting to the point I know she is who she is but I don't know how to get angry with her...when I type to you and the other ladies I feel the tension in my stoamch and the anger but that is about as far as it goes and then I quit for some reason. My therapist asks"what do you think is the worst think that would happen if you got angry with her?" I am trying to deal with this and hopefully as I continue on this site It will help me. I haven been on that much because we just moved to a new home, and we finally got internet but I haven had the time to get on that much, and now my computer is acting up..so I am at my mother in laws right now,
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Thanks, Rugrats5.
It's taken SEVERAL YEARS to get to the point where I am now and it's going to continue to take time to work through all of this cr*p!
Bones
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I like your blogging, Bones! Ami
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Thanks, Ami.
Bones
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Passive-Aggressive Narcissists are the HARDEST to recognize as they often hide behind "excuses", "obtuseness", "pseudo-stupidity", "good works", etc. when everything they hide behind is NOTHING MORE THAN A FACADE!
Examples of Passive-Aggressive Narcissists:
After you've said "NO" to something, they continue to BADGER you in the VAIN hope that your "NO" will MAGICALLY change into a "YES". NDoofus was FAMOUS for this!
Several years ago, before her mother developed Alzheimer's Disease, the three of us were preparing food for a baby shower for NDoofus' younger sister. The mother was making Heirloom Potato Salad from a recipe that has been handed down from mother to daughter for SEVERAL generations, (hence the HEIRLOOM). This was one of the mother's gifts to her daughter who was about to give birth to the first grandchild. While Mom was referring to her family recipe to check for the next ingredient, NDoofus kept BADGERING her about putting celery into the recipe! (NDoofus has a problem about NOT BEING THE FIRST TO HAVE A BABY in her family! That will be discussed in the next example.) Her mother kept repeating the word: "NO!" EVERY SINGLE TIME AND KEPT REMINDING HER THAT THE RECIPE DOES NOT USE CELERY! Did that stop NDoofus?!?!?!? HECK NO! She continued to BADGER, and BADGER, and BADGER!!!!
Finally, I lost my patience and barked: "WHAT PART OF THE WORD "NO" DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?!?!!? YOUR MOTHER HAS EXPLAINED C-L-E-A-R-L-Y that the recipe DOES NOT CALL FOR CELERY!!! SHE HAS REPEATED THIS EXPLANATION, SEVERAL TIMES, TO YOU, FOR THE PAST HALF HOUR!!!!! WILL YOU S-T-O-P?!?!?!?!?!?"
NDoofus then bats her eyes and simpers: "Oh!!!!!!!! Does No mean No?" Then she simpers some more and giggles like she has done something funny! UGH!!!!! :P
NDoofus also passively-aggressively PUNISHED her younger sister for DARING TO BE FIRST in having a baby!
NDoofus always believed that SHE SHOULD BE FIRST with EVERYTHING!!!! This included BEING THE FIRST to present her mother with her FIRST grandchild! (NDoofus kept BADGERING her husband about becoming a mother and he flatly stated that he DID NOT want to become a father! He was wise enough to see the handwriting on the wall regarding where the responsibility was going to get DUMPED when the child became INCONVENIENT to NDoofus! She has a HISTORY of DUMPING whenever ANYTHING becomes INCONVENIENT to HER ROYAL PERSON!) When her younger sister and younger sister's husband announced that they were expecting, I saw the RAGE in NDoofus' eyes because she believed that SHE WAS ENTITLED TO BE FIRST!
As the younger sister's pregnancy progressed, it soon became obvious that her pregnancy was high risk and her obstetrician ordered her to bed rest for the remainder of her pregnancy. The drawback to this type of bed rest is that the younger sister couldn't get up to fix herself lunch, do her laundry, clean, etc. This necessitated her mother, NDoofus and the other younger sister to come over at various times to help out while the father-to-be was at work. One day, when NDoofus was over there, the pregnant younger sister needed to have her laundry done, which included laundering her maternity bras. She gave CLEAR, EXPLICIT instructions to NDoofus regarding how the maternity bras needed to be laundered because they are DELICATE! What did NDoofus do instead?????? SHE DESTROYED THE MATERNITY BRAS THEN LAUGHED IT OFF!!!! She bragged to me, afterward, about what she did and LAUGHED HYSTERICALLY about how UPSET her younger sister was about the destruction!!!! NDoofus was convinced that EVERYTHING SHE DID WAS SO-O-O-O HYSTERICALLY FUNNY!!!!!
I pointed out to her that SHE HAS TO REPLACE EVERYTHING SHE DESTROYED!!!!! NDoofus gave me the usual glassy-eyed blank stare, batted her eyes and simpered: "But-t-t-t-t-t-t, they're EXPENSIVE!!!!!!!" I told her: "THAT'S RIGHT, A$$!!! YOU DELIBERATELY DESTROYED SOMEONE ELSE'S PROPERTY THAT IS EXPENSIVE!!!!! YOU HAVE TO REPLACE WHAT YOU DELIBERATELY DESTROYED!!!!!" Her response to that was nothing more than the glassy-eyed blank stare!!!!! Did she EVER do the RIGHT THING????? NO!!!!! She continued to CACKLE, LAUGH AND BRAG ABOUT WHAT SHE DID whenever the opportunity presented itself because she is STILL CONVINCED THAT SHE'S SO FUNNY!!!! (Years later, she attempted to repeat this offense at my graduation when she attempted to rip my graduation regalia apart seconds before the commencement ceremony was due to begin! Her attitude is: "IF I CAN'T HAVE THIS, THEN I'LL DESTROY YOURS SO YOU CAN'T HAVE IT EITHER!!!!!) NB*TCH!!!!!!
Bones
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I mentioned this incident in an earlier thread, which is another example of passive-aggressive Narcissism:
To give some background: As I previously mentioned, the mother of NDoofus has Alzheimer's Disease. It has now progressed to the point where she has become incontinent. That part of her brain that used to be able to control her bodily functions is now destroyed. She had been using incontinence pads until she developed pressure sores, (also known as bedsores), in the area where the edges of the pad contacted her skin. The doctor strongly advised not to use the pads anymore to avoid the development of a fatal infection. NDoofus REFUSES to consider the pull-ups because they are INCONVENIENT for HER ROYAL PERSON!
Fast forward a few weeks....NDoofus DEMANDED my presence in HER house for dinner! I told her I already had plans to see other friends at a restaurant, (I had NO desire to socialize with HER ROYAL PERSON anymore). She then INVITED HERSELF to this other gathering and ANNOUNCED to her husband that SHE was taking HER mother to this restaurant! Her husband tried to discreetly discourage taking her mother because she was NOT wearing ANY protection against incontinence and that could be disastrous in a restaurant setting!!! NDoofus kept blathering mindlessly about HER plans and what SHE was going to do! Her husband put his foot down and told her "NO, she was NOT taking her mother to a restaurant WITHOUT incontinence protection!"
Because her husband DARED to say the word "NO" to her little plans, she passively-aggressively punished him by DELIBERATELY TRASHING his schedule! Then she called me, attempting to demonize him as "being difficult" while trying to proclaim herself as the "poor little innocent victim"! I wasn't interested in hearing her cr*p and hung up!
Bones
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Another type of Passive-Aggressive Narcissist also Manipulates or attempts to do so. Here are a few examples:
Years ago, when I was still working full-time, my then-sponsor and I attended a gathering where books were being sold. I saw a book that I had wanted for quite a while and I was able to afford to get it. The price wasn't bad at all! As I was making my purchase, then-sponsor made a passive-aggressive cutting remark about "It's GREAT that YOU can afford to get it while MY husband won't let me BUY THAT!" I just looked over at my then-sponsor, shrugged my shoulders, and completed my purchase. It irked me that she was attempting to guilt-trip me out of getting a book based on her then-marriage when her marriage HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH ME! (Her attitude seemed to be, "If I'M not allowed to have it, then YOU SHOULDN'T EITHER!" Does this message seem familiar to anyone?)
Some years later, this now-ex-sponsor, announced in a 12-Step meeting of her intention to proceed with an action that was OBVIOUSLY UNWISE to EVERYONE in the meeting! Several members, who had MORE sobriety than she did STRONGLY URGED her NOT to go that route and shared their own mistakes when they did the same thing and the consequences that followed. Her response was: "Oh, THAT DOESN'T APPLY TO ME!!!!! I'M DIFFERENT!!!!!!"
Guess what happened????
She GOT THE SAME CONSEQUENCES THAT SHE HAD BEEN PREVIOUSLY WARNED ABOUT!!!!!!!! Then she started whining to me and everyone else: "Feel SORRY FOR ME!!!! I'M A POOR LITTLE INNOCENT VICTIM AND EVERYBODY IS SCR*WING ME OVER!!!!" She got ZERO sympathy!!!!
Bones
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Just wanted to share something that just happened on another discussion list.
I had shared, on a CONFIDENTIAL discussion board, about how I decided to have some fun, going Trick-or-Treating at age 35 because I was NEVER allowed to do so as a child. This other individual posts to me, and the entire board: "Well, I told MY mother what you did and she says that you are stupid and squirrelly!" (Unless her mother was subscribed to the board, she had NO business showing her mother ANYTHING from this CONFIDENTIAL discussion board!)
My response: "Excuse me but I don't need your mother's judgment! Enough said!!!!"
Sheesh!!!!! :P
Bones
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Just wanted to share something that just happened on another discussion list.
I had shared, on a CONFIDENTIAL discussion board, about how I decided to have some fun, going Trick-or-Treating at age 35 because I was NEVER allowed to do so as a child. This other individual posts to me, and the entire board: "Well, I told MY mother what you did and she says that you are stupid and squirrelly!" (Unless her mother was subscribed to the board, she had NO business showing her mother ANYTHING from this CONFIDENTIAL discussion board!)
My response: "Excuse me but I don't need your mother's judgment! Enough said!!!!"
Sheesh!!!!! :P
Bones
It is part of life on Boards, maybe life in general :shock: xxoo Ami
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Maybe so.
Her mother sounds like a typical N...passing judgment on people, and calling them names, that she don't even know! :P
Bones
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The person that posted is weird too ... not only why would s/he even tell the mother, but why post what the mother thought? And, why feel the need to say "my mother said ..." Weird.
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The person that posted is weird too ... not only why would s/he even tell the mother, but why post what the mother thought? And, why feel the need to say "my mother said ..." Weird.
Who knows??????????????????????? :roll:
Bones
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I'm seeing RED today!!!!!! :x :evil: :twisted:
I've been reading in the news about Roman Polanski FINALLY being arrested for raping a 13-year-old child after giving her alcohol and a Quaalude. Today, his former sister-in-law is quoted as saying that it wasn't rape because the sex was "consensual". WHERE DOES SHE GET OFF SAYING THAT A 13-YEAR-OLD CAN HAVE CONSENSUAL SEX WITH AN ADULT...ESPECIALLY AFTER BEING DRUGGED BY THAT ADULT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? I HATE PEDOPHILES!!!!!!!
Bones
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I need to calm down before I can continue blogging about the types of Narcissists to watch out for.
Bones
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I don't know whether he is a Narcissist or not, but he clearly is a paedophile. I used to feel sorry for him because of Sharon Tate's murder, and possibly that affected his sanity in some way, but he is guilty of a horrible sex crime and should face the consequences of his actions at last.
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I don't know whether he is a Narcissist or not, but he clearly is a paedophile. I used to feel sorry for him because of Sharon Tate's murder, and possibly that affected his sanity in some way, but he is guilty of a horrible sex crime and should face the consequences of his actions at last.
Agreed!!!!!!
Otherwise, other pedophiles would get the message that if they elude the law long enough, they can continue to rape children!
Bones
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I'll go ahead and post another example of a Narcissist....The Super-Religious Narcissistic Nut!!!!
This is the type of Narcissist who doesn't hesitate to use religion as their weapon of choice to attempt to FORCE you to do what THEY DEMAND!!!! :P
Examples:
"GOD TOLD ME TO ORDER YOU TO CONVERT TO CATHOLICISM!!!!" (God NEVER told her THAT!!! THAT IS HER NARCISSISTIC EGO TALKING!!!!)
"GOD TOLD ME THAT I AM ENTITLED TO HAVE AS MANY GRANDCHILDREN AS I WANT SO MY CHILDREN ARE NOT ALLOWED TO USE ANY FORM OF BIRTH CONTROL!!!!!" (What planet is she living on?!?!?!?!?!? :?)
Bones
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Another tactic that the N-Religious Nut tried to pull on me.....
GOD TOLD ME TO TELL YOU TO STORE MY STUFF FOREVER FOR FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(She got told: NOPE!!!!)
Her response?
I'M GOING TO SUE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Bring it on!!!!! After nearly 30 years, the statute of limitations has RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The judge would have a FIELD DAY with her!!!)
Bones
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Somewhere, earlier, in this thread, there was a brief discussion of raw food being part of one's eating plan. Well, I recently tried some juice that had some raw kombucha in it and I need to post a caveat about it......
When I was in the grocery store and was looking at the organic health food refrigerator, I noticed a bottle labeled: "Synergy - Organic and Raw Cosmic Cranberry". The label also included: "rejuvenate, restore, revitalize, replenish, regenerate" with "enzymes, probiotics and detoxifiers" along with "organic acids, aminos, and electrolytes". It also states that "Kombucha supports digestion, metabolism, immune system, appetite control, weight control, liver function, body alkalinity, anti-aging, cell integrity, healthy skin & hair".
I tend to also look at the Nutrition Facts on the label along with the ingredients and I did not see a problem......at first. I bought a bottle and took it home. When I first opened it, I realized it was carbonated. (Carbonated beverage in a GLASS bottle, not a good idea in this day and age if it's accidentally shaken. Can we say "Glass Hand Grenade?") After I drank the carbonated cranberry juice with raw kombucha, I started experiencing unpleasant somatic sensations after about an hour or so. I looked at the bottle again, and didn't see anything in the ingredients to explain my unpleasant physical reaction!
Then I pulled out my magnifying glass and started looking over every inch of the bottle and found this TINY NOTE: "Please note - Due to the fermentation, this product may contain a trace amount of alcohol (less than 0.5%)" :shock: THAT was what was triggering my unpleasant sensations because I am ALLERGIC!!!!!
NOTE TO SELF: DON'T BUY THAT JUICE AGAIN!!!!!
Bones
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So far, I've mentioned the passive-aggressive Narcissist, the Manipulative Narcissist, the Narcissistic Rage-aholic, and the Super-Religious Narcissistic Nut.....what other types of Narcissists are out there that we need to watch out for?
Bones
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Bones,
I'd say just watch out for any of them N's! There seems to be so many out there and somehow we have managed to live through it!!! Let's just NEVER do it again! :shock:
I also had the same experience with a drink after visiting a health food store about six years ago. Bought a sandwich and drink to consume during a drive from one place to another. When I opened the drink it fizzed all over me and smelled like alcohol! Now, I don't mind having a drink, but...I was driving and was so worried about getting pulled over. I couldn't wait to get home!
Getnbtr
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Bones,
sometimes I think that they are all of the kinds of N's that you mentioned tied into one. Seems to depend on which way the wind blows I think!!!
Getnbtr
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Bones,
I'd say just watch out for any of them N's! There seems to be so many out there and somehow we have managed to live through it!!! Let's just NEVER do it again! :shock:
I also had the same experience with a drink after visiting a health food store about six years ago. Bought a sandwich and drink to consume during a drive from one place to another. When I opened the drink it fizzed all over me and smelled like alcohol! Now, I don't mind having a drink, but...I was driving and was so worried about getting pulled over. I couldn't wait to get home!
Getnbtr
Thanks, Getnbtr!
It seems that nowadays, one has to go grocery shopping with a magnifying glass to read the labels to prevent problems such as this!
Bones
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Bones,
sometimes I think that they are all of the kinds of N's that you mentioned tied into one. Seems to depend on which way the wind blows I think!!!
Getnbtr
Yeah, and at the same time, it helps to recognize what type of N is being encountered so we don't get sucked in again!
Bones
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The way I look at it....N's are like venomous spiders!!!!!!
Bones
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And there are different types of Narcissistic Venomous Spiders....from the type that ensnare you in their sticky web to the type that hide and ambush you!
Bones
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I think I mentioned on both boards about how the N-Super-Religious Nut attempted to ORDER me to HOARD HER STUFF FOREVER!!
How many of us have had to deal with a Hoarding N?
Bones
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I like your posts , Bones. I don't have a Hoarding N. My M is the Boob N like N Doofus. My H is the Manipulative, Charming, Subtle N(or N ish ) xxxooo
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Thanks, Ami.
I remember from the other board that a member's NWomb-Donor was so BAD about hoarding that her house got CONDEMNED!!!! :shock: :shock: Then the NWomb-Donor tried to FORCE her children to store her hoard for her in their homes!!!! :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
I'm wasn't surprised when the NWomb-Donor got told: "N-O!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Bones
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My NH is a hoarder and so is his NM. He's a building contractor, so when he remodels he stores the crap people are trying to get rid of. He says that he will reuse it but rarely does. Last year I ordered a dumpster the size of a trailer on the back of a tractor trailer and cleaned out his shop. We threw away among lots of other stuff 135 doors that were rotted out from the bottom. 50+ garage door openers
and old garage doors, 70+ speakers, about 12 stereo systems-BIG ones, 15 vacuum cleaners.....etc.....
When I cleaned the office part a couple of years ago I gave him a huge pile of old samples of roofing, siding, carpet etc...that were way outdated. He was suppose to take it to our dumpster. I found the whole pile hidden under one of the 20 desks in the shop. He even takes broken plastic lawn furniture.
The worse part is that people have seen this stuff and ask him for it and he will not give or sell it to them. It sits in a damp building and rots for years. When I try to get rid of stuff from out home he tries to keep it. I have to burn it or wrap it up so he doesn't see it or it will show back up. Most stuff I take to Good Will. But broken deteriorated stuff??? I don't get it!
His mother collects weird stuff. I was to her home just once 20 years ago. I asked her where the price tags were and she seemed puzzled. I thought that she had a gift shop, things were grouped together. You could barley move in there, little trails were everywhere. She told me that they were her things! Seems people are replaced by their THINGS!!!
This makes me feel violated because I have to struggle to keep order.
He also buys so much food and stuffs it into our cabinets. As soon as I can finally see what I have it gets stuffed back again. Then has the nerve to say that I never have his type of cereal on Sunday morns. Has a BIG fight with me!
Last Sunday I pulled everything out of the cabinet and showed him 6 opened boxes of HIS cereal, all opened and eaten out of once!!! He quickly ignored me and walked out the door!!!
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My NH is a hoarder and so is his NM. He's a building contractor, so when he remodels he stores the crap people are trying to get rid of. He says that he will reuse it but rarely does. Last year I ordered a dumpster the size of a trailer on the back of a tractor trailer and cleaned out his shop. We threw away among lots of other stuff 135 doors that were rotted out from the bottom. 50+ garage door openers
and old garage doors, 70+ speakers, about 12 stereo systems-BIG ones, 15 vacuum cleaners.....etc.....
When I cleaned the office part a couple of years ago I gave him a huge pile of old samples of roofing, siding, carpet etc...that were way outdated. He was suppose to take it to our dumpster. I found the whole pile hidden under one of the 20 desks in the shop. He even takes broken plastic lawn furniture.
The worse part is that people have seen this stuff and ask him for it and he will not give or sell it to them. It sits in a damp building and rots for years. When I try to get rid of stuff from out home he tries to keep it. I have to burn it or wrap it up so he doesn't see it or it will show back up. Most stuff I take to Good Will. But broken deteriorated stuff??? I don't get it!
His mother collects weird stuff. I was to her home just once 20 years ago. I asked her where the price tags were and she seemed puzzled. I thought that she had a gift shop, things were grouped together. You could barley move in there, little trails were everywhere. She told me that they were her things! Seems people are replaced by their THINGS!!!
This makes me feel violated because I have to struggle to keep order.
He also buys so much food and stuffs it into our cabinets. As soon as I can finally see what I have it gets stuffed back again. Then has the nerve to say that I never have his type of cereal on Sunday morns. Has a BIG fight with me!
Last Sunday I pulled everything out of the cabinet and showed him 6 opened boxes of HIS cereal, all opened and eaten out of once!!! He quickly ignored me and walked out the door!!!
GEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :shock: :shock: :? :?
I know my home is cluttered and I'm trying to GET RID of stuff I no longer need!!! There's a shredding event coming up soon, in my community, and I already have two boxes ear-marked for shredding. One of the things I've noticed about Ding-Bat boyfriend is that as soon as I get a place cleared out on my floor...he goes right behind me and RE-CLUTTERS IT WITH HIS JUNK THAT HE BRINGS OVER FROM HIS SEVERELY CLUTTERED HOUSE!!!! :twisted: :twisted: Then stands there, with the "deer-in-the-headlights" look when I start yelling at him!!!!! Then, when my old microwave broke.....he replaced it while I was out, (that was nice of him), but then DUMPED MY OLD BROKEN MICROWAVE IN THE MIDDLE OF MY LIVING ROOM FLOOR KNOWING FULL-BLEEPING-WELL THAT I AM UNABLE TO PICK IT UP!!!!! Maybe your H and my Ding-Bat bf are twins separated at birth?!?!?!?!?!?
Sheesh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :P
Bones
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Examples of Passive-Aggressive Narcissists:
After you've said "NO" to something, they continue to BADGER you in the VAIN hope that your "NO" will MAGICALLY change into a "YES". NDoofus was FAMOUS for this!
Guess my N is just getting Aggressive, leaving out the passive part.
You can come over with
insert my daughters name) sometime and I will talk you into it.
Thanks for all you do here. You are helping so much........... to see they don't change, a reminder don't go back, they will always s**ck you alive.
seasons
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Examples of Passive-Aggressive Narcissists:
After you've said "NO" to something, they continue to BADGER you in the VAIN hope that your "NO" will MAGICALLY change into a "YES". NDoofus was FAMOUS for this!
Guess my N is just getting Aggressive, leaving out the passive part.
You can come over with
insert my daughters name) sometime and I will talk you into it.
Thanks for all you do here. You are helping so much........... to see they don't change, a reminder don't go back, they will always s**ck you alive.
seasons
You're welcome.
I've also come to recognize another type of Narcissist....the infantilized Narcissist. They attempt to manipulate you into doing EVERYTHING for them because the "play-act" at being so-o-o-o-o-o helpless!!!!!
Bones
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Bones - My NM used the tactics of "its in your best interest" "conventional wisdom" and my new favorite, any $$ advice from Suze Orman. Its all just a form of manipulation. There is NO REASON to do it their way as opposed to yours, so they search for some credibility ...wherever they can get it...
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Bones - My NM used the tactics of "its in your best interest" "conventional wisdom" and my new favorite, any $$ advice from Suze Orman. Its all just a form of manipulation. There is NO REASON to do it their way as opposed to yours, so they search for some credibility ...wherever they can get it...
And it's INFURIATING when they attempt to pull that kind of cr*p!
Bones
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FYI....I have to have more medical tests because my blood pressure is fluctuating too much when I go to stand up. It dropped to 50/80 in the doctor's office yesterday! :shock: I HATE BEING A HUMAN PIN CUSHION!!!!! :P
Bones
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FYI....I have to have more medical tests because my blood pressure is fluctuating too much when I go to stand up. It dropped to 50/80 in the doctor's office yesterday! :shock: I HATE BEING A HUMAN PIN CUSHION!!!!! :P
Bones
What is your BP, usually?
I hope you are OK ,Bones. You deserve everything good in life after that horrible womb donor! xxxoo Ami
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FYI....I have to have more medical tests because my blood pressure is fluctuating too much when I go to stand up. It dropped to 50/80 in the doctor's office yesterday! :shock: I HATE BEING A HUMAN PIN CUSHION!!!!! :P
Bones
What is your BP, usually?
I hope you are OK ,Bones. You deserve everything good in life after that horrible womb donor! xxxoo Ami
Thanks, Ami.
I'm trying to remember what my initial blood pressure was when I first went into the doctor's office...something like 75 over 110...not really sure of the exact numbers. All I know was that the first time my blood pressure was taken, I was sitting down, talking as usual, and the nurse said that my blood pressure was EXCELLENT!
Then, when I went in to see the doctor, I told him about the episode on Sunday when I nearly passed out without warning. He checked the pulses in both my wrists simultaneously, checked the pulses in my ankles, listened to both my carotid arteries, my heart and my lungs with the stethoscope. Then he had me lie down for several minutes, then had me stand up and he took my blood pressure immediately. You can imagine the look on my face when he told me that my blood pressure had dropped to 50 over 80!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just finished with the holter monitor today and had TWO SETS of blood tests done. I just don't know WHAT to think!!!!!!
Bones
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I was assisting with Depression Screening Day in my community last night and found myself dealing with ANOTHER N! :P She is convinced that she has ALL THE ANSWERS and that she KNOWS EVERYTHING!!!! At one point, during the course of the event, when I was in the middle of speaking with someone about the free information we have to offer, SHE BUTTS INTO THE CONVERSATION, STARTS TALKING OVER ME AS IF I WASN'T THERE AND BLURTS AT THE PERSON..."YOU WANT YOUR MENTAL HEALTH CHECKED?!?!?!?" The person I HAD been speaking to IMMEDIATELY BEAT FEET!!!!! :x :x I let her know that I did NOT appreciate that!! :evil:
Toward the end of the evening, my health issues started catching up with me and I started feeling tired. She noticed that the color had started draining out of my face and she began BADGERING me to go home, AS IF SHE WAS MY BOSS!!!! (She is NOT!!!!!!) :P I politely and pointedly told her to back off! When it was time to pack up our display, I was SO GLAD TO GET AWAY FROM HER!!!!! I DESPISE N's!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :twisted:
Bones
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I've had four vials of blood taken for a variety of blood tests and turned in the Holter Monitor for evaluation. Now the hard part begins......the waiting for the results! :P
Bones
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I'm not quite sure if I'll hear anything within a week or if I'll have to wait until my next doctor's appointment on October 21st.
Bones
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Sounds really hard, Bones. I am sorry! xxoo Ami
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Sounds really hard, Bones. I am sorry! xxoo Ami
Thanks, Ami.
Bones
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Good luck Bones, I hope the tests give you some answers so you can get the treatments you need. Waiting sucks! Also, so sorry for your seminar experience - you try to help others and its frustrating to get that kind of response !! So sorry.
(((((((((((((Bones))))))))))))
Alesia
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Good luck Bones, I hope the tests give you some answers so you can get the treatments you need. Waiting sucks! Also, so sorry for your seminar experience - you try to help others and its frustrating to get that kind of response !! So sorry.
(((((((((((((Bones))))))))))))
Alesia
Thanks, Alesia.
BTW, it wasn't exactly a seminar, it was a community outreach to conduct depression screenings. This N was SUPPOSED to be assisting, NOT TAKING OVER! :P
Bones
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I'm still taking it easy while awaiting the test results. Emotionally, I'm not in a good place. :(
Bones
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I'm still taking it easy while awaiting the test results. Emotionally, I'm not in a good place. :(
Bones
The fall out from the NM on our bodies is really extreme. We had to take such a defensive posture in life just to survive. I am seeing these patterns, now.
Maybe that is not the case for you but I have physical issues simply from growing up with an NM.
Talk about what is bothering you,emotionally, if you feel you want to. Ami
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I'm still taking it easy while awaiting the test results. Emotionally, I'm not in a good place. :(
Bones
The fall out from the NM on our bodies is really extreme. We had to take such a defensive posture in life just to survive. I am seeing these patterns, now.
Maybe that is not the case for you but I have physical issues simply from growing up with an NM.
Talk about what is bothering you,emotionally, if you feel you want to. Ami
I also have physical issues from growing up with NWomb-Donor because of her deliberate medical neglect. I'm paying the price now, physically, emotionally, and financially as a direct result of that neglect!
Bones
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Rock-a-Bones...rock-a-Bones...
((((((((Bones))))))))))
Sunset, a quiet time in a park...
Nature for you, girl.
love,
Hops
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Rock-a-Bones...rock-a-Bones...
((((((((Bones))))))))))
Sunset, a quiet time in a park...
Nature for you, girl.
love,
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
Bones
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Still no word yet on the test results...........................................
Bones
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Still no test results yet. It's possible that the office staff is aware that I have a follow-up doctor's appointment next week and are holding off until then.
Bones
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Fingers crossed, Bones...
it's really hard to wait on stuff like that.
I hope you're feeling calm and will have good medical advice.
xo
Hops
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Fingers crossed, Bones...
it's really hard to wait on stuff like that.
I hope you're feeling calm and will have good medical advice.
xo
Hops
I'm trying to stay calm and it's hard not to worry.
Bones
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Just checking in.
No news yet.
Bones
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Sending warm thoughts to you, Bonesie ! xxoo Ami
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All the best to you (((((((((Bones))))))))))) as you await results.
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Sending warm thoughts to you, Bonesie ! xxoo Ami
Thanks, Ami.
Bones
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All the best to you (((((((((Bones))))))))))) as you await results.
Thanks, (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Ales2))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))).
Bones
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Still no word.........................
In the meantime, the vaccine for the H1N1 virus became available in my community and I was the second one vaccinated. There was a media blitz about the availability of the vaccine and it was a REALLY INSANE "dog and pony show" having cameras in the face while getting stuck with a needle!!!! (I'm PHOBIC about needles to begin with so I was doing A LOT of breathing exercises to control my anxiety....ESPECIALLY ON TV!!!! :shock: :?)
At least I'm vaccinated. Let's see how things go in that department.
Bones
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Oh Bones
How awful to be filmed while being phobic about something. YOW and OUCH! xxoo Ami
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Oh Bones
How awful to be filmed while being phobic about something. YOW and OUCH! xxoo Ami
At least I survived. I was hoping to be given the H1N1 FluMist but my asthma made me ineligible for that format. Given the situation, which was the lesser of two evils? I felt it was better to take my chances with my phobia than to risk potentially fatal complications with the Swine Flu.
Bones
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Having a BAD DAY today!!! I went out in the rain, this morning, and discovered that my car had gotten broken into AGAIN!!!!!! This time my CERT gear was STOLEN!!!!!! :twisted:
I'VE contacted the police and reported it, then contacted my CERT team about the loss of my gear! As for boyfriend, who "claims" to love me, all I got was his voice-mail and no other response!!!! :roll: So much for any support from him!!!!!!!
Bones
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Hi Bones, What is CERT gear? I'm sorry about your car ... that has happened to us once and it is a terrible feeling.
I am phobic about needles too, so I can relate. If I get them to let me lie down while they give me the shot, I am usually OK. But when it involves a lot of medicine or more than one shot, I get sick to my stomach. No way would I want to be on TV while getting a shot!
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Hi Bones, What is CERT gear? I'm sorry about your car ... that has happened to us once and it is a terrible feeling.
I am phobic about needles too, so I can relate. If I get them to let me lie down while they give me the shot, I am usually OK. But when it involves a lot of medicine or more than one shot, I get sick to my stomach. No way would I want to be on TV while getting a shot!
Hi, Heart of Pilgrimage.
CERT stands for Community Emergency Response Team. The CERT gear was in my car, on standby, for any emergencies while out on the road. I keep another set of emergency gear at home. This is the SECOND time, in less than a year, that my car has been broken into! :twisted:
As to the media circus, I think I now understand why some celebrities get irritated at the cameras once I understood how INTRUSIVE they can be!!!! :P
Bones
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((((Bones)))) xxoo Ami
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Thanks, ((((((((((((((((((((((((((Ami))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Bones
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Woke up feeling jittery this morning given that my doctor's appointment is day after tomorrow.
Bones
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I feel really jittery today , too. For me, I think it is emotional changes which feel really scary.I am sending you good vibes! Ami
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Thanks, Ami.
Bones
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Lots of calm and confidence you will take care and be able to restore your health, Bones...
sending support,
Hops
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Thanks, Hops.
Bones
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Saw the doctor yesterday and I have been diagnosed with Orthostatic Hypotension. The blood tests show that my thyroid and adrenals are functioning normally and the Holter Monitor showed that my heart is functioning within normal parameters. However, when the doctor tested my blood pressure again, by first having me sit, then stand, my BP dropped again. No one knows why this is happening. So strange.......
Bones
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Hi Bones,
Your doc will advise on any necessary Rx, but these lifestyle changes (Mayo Clinic) could help meanwhile:
* Drink more water, less alcohol. Alcohol is dehydrating and can lower blood pressure, even if you drink in moderation. Water, on the other hand, combats dehydration and increases blood volume.
* Follow a healthy diet. Get all the nutrients you need for good health by focusing on a variety of foods, including whole grains, fruits, vegetables, and lean chicken and fish. If your doctor suggests increasing your sodium intake but you don't like a lot of salt on your food, try using natural soy sauce — a whopping 1,200 milligrams of sodium per tablespoon — or adding dry soup mixes, also loaded with sodium, to dips and dressings.
* Go slowly when changing body positions. You may be able to reduce the dizziness and lightheadedness that occur with low blood pressure on standing by taking it easy when you move from a prone to a standing position. Before getting out of bed in the morning, breathe deeply for a few minutes and then slowly sit up before standing. Sleeping with the head of your bed slightly elevated also can help fight the effects of gravity. If you begin to get symptoms while standing, cross your thighs in a scissors fashion and squeeze, or put one foot on a ledge or chair and lean as far forward as possible. These maneuvers encourage blood to flow from your legs to your heart.
* Eat small, low-carb meals. To help prevent blood pressure from dropping sharply after meals, eat small portions several times a day and limit high-carbohydrate foods such as potatoes, rice, pasta and bread. Drinking caffeinated coffee or tea with meals may temporarily raise blood pressure, in some cases by as much as 3 to 14 millimeters of mercury (mm Hg). But because caffeine can cause other problems, check with your doctor before increasing your caffeine intake.
love,
Hops
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Hi, Hops.
There are no prescriptions to give me on this as there is a family medical history of (1) HIGH blood pressure, (2) Heart Attacks, (3) Blood Clots, (4) Cerebral Vascular Accidents (brain hemorrhages), and (5) Strokes (Blood Clots on the brain).
I have already been pushing fluids. As far as alcohol, I'm a recovering alcoholic so the alcohol is a non-issue in this context.
I'm also already eating a healthy diet which includes: Fresh Fruits, Fresh Vegetables, Fresh Fish (Salmon and Tuna), Tofu, Whole Grains (Muesli, Oatmeal), Fat-Free Lactaid Dairy (I'm lactose intolerant), and Soy Sauce whenever I have Japanese Cuisine. I've been cutting out the artificial additives and preservatives (High Fructose and High Maltose Corn Syrup) along with cutting out red meat, fried foods, and junk food (French fries, hamburgers and other greasy junk), as much as possible and have managed to drop my weight from nearly 200 pounds to 165.5 in about six months. I've been eating a series of mini-meals several times a day because I've noticed that my appetite has dropped back from what it used to be (I'll eat a few forkfuls, then I feel full, then repeat about an hour or so later), plus taking vitamin supplements (including calcium for osteoporosis) and flaxseed oil for the Omega Fatty Acids.
The doctor suggested I add in V-8 juice into my regiment for any additional sodium. (I probably should get a blood pressure monitor given the family medical history of HIGH blood pressure so that I don't accidentally go overboard and end up with THAT problem instead of this one!)
I do get up slowly and carefully as I don't want to give the floor a face-plant! With osteoporosis, that is NOT a good combination!
Bones
=============================================================================
Hi Bones,
Your doc will advise on any necessary Rx, but these lifestyle changes (Mayo Clinic) could help meanwhile:
* Drink more water, less alcohol. Alcohol is dehydrating and can lower blood pressure, even if you drink in moderation. Water, on the other hand, combats dehydration and increases blood volume.
* Follow a healthy diet. Get all the nutrients you need for good health by focusing on a variety of foods, including whole grains, fruits, vegetables, and lean chicken and fish. If your doctor suggests increasing your sodium intake but you don't like a lot of salt on your food, try using natural soy sauce — a whopping 1,200 milligrams of sodium per tablespoon — or adding dry soup mixes, also loaded with sodium, to dips and dressings.
* Go slowly when changing body positions. You may be able to reduce the dizziness and lightheadedness that occur with low blood pressure on standing by taking it easy when you move from a prone to a standing position. Before getting out of bed in the morning, breathe deeply for a few minutes and then slowly sit up before standing. Sleeping with the head of your bed slightly elevated also can help fight the effects of gravity. If you begin to get symptoms while standing, cross your thighs in a scissors fashion and squeeze, or put one foot on a ledge or chair and lean as far forward as possible. These maneuvers encourage blood to flow from your legs to your heart.
* Eat small, low-carb meals. To help prevent blood pressure from dropping sharply after meals, eat small portions several times a day and limit high-carbohydrate foods such as potatoes, rice, pasta and bread. Drinking caffeinated coffee or tea with meals may temporarily raise blood pressure, in some cases by as much as 3 to 14 millimeters of mercury (mm Hg). But because caffeine can cause other problems, check with your doctor before increasing your caffeine intake.
love,
Hops
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(((((Bones)))))
It dies not sound like much fun. I am sorry, Bones! Ami
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Thanks, Ami.
I forgot to add that I can't have much caffeine in my eating plan because I have spastic colitis, which is NOT fun by itself! I try to have the whole grains because (1) it lowers my cholesterol, which I need to do, and (2) the dietary fiber prevents, if not minimizes, the spasms. (I don't like the side effects of the Bentyl so I try to find organic remedies.)
Bones
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Bones, I am VERY impressed with the way you eat.
You inspire me....
thanks,
Hops
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Thanks, Hops.
I'm trying my best to eat healthy so I can try to regain my health.
Bones
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Raw food gives really good energy. Have you ever tried a diet with lots of raw food? Ami
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Raw food gives really good energy. Have you ever tried a diet with lots of raw food? Ami
I do have raw fruits and raw vegetables along with roasted and steamed vegetables. I tried one drink, with raw kombucha in it, and discovered, to my dismay that it had .05% alcohol in it, which I am ALLERGIC to, so I can't use that. So I mainly target fresh fruit, fresh vegetables, fresh fish (including sushi and sashimi), soybeans and tofu.
Bones
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One of the funny things that the doctor suggested, though expensive, was a flight suit like the fighter pilots wear!!! :lol:
Bones
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What's also frustrating is that bf, who proclaims he loves me, doesn't get it!!!!!! :P
Bones
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One of the funny things that the doctor suggested, though expensive, was a flight suit like the fighter pilots wear!!! :lol:
Bones
I don't get this ,Bones? Ami
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One of the funny things that the doctor suggested, though expensive, was a flight suit like the fighter pilots wear!!! :lol:
Bones
I don't get this ,Bones? Ami
The flight suit is what jet fighter pilots wear to compensate for the G-Forces when they fly their jets at high speeds, even faster than sound, so that the pressure from the G-Forces don't cause them to black out when their blood pressure falls. I think astronauts also wear them to prevent black-outs during space launches. I'm not familiar with the mechanics of the flight suit itself other than that it is designed to externally maintain blood pressure.
Bones
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Living with chronic health issues is depressing!!!! :(
Bones
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Living with chronic health issues is depressing!!!! :(
Bones
I did not know that about the fight suit, Bones.
I am sorry about how you are feeling. It really does get depressing to have health issues on top of the emotional issues we have to fight as D's of N's.
((((((Bones)))))) Ami
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Thanks, (((((((((((((((((Ami))))))))))))))))))))))
Bones
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I'm still working on writing my business plan for my genealogy look-up provider service and I have been putting out "feelers" to see who might be interested in having me look up documents, on their behalf, at the National Archives. I got one response. However, as soon as she realized that she would need to pay me for my work, she has stopped responding. Is it only N's that demand something for nothing?
Bones
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I thought I posted this but even if it's a repeat...
I think instead of a squeezy flight suit, Bones,
you should have some big squeezy
((((((((((((((((((BONES)))))))))))))))))))s.
xo + comfort and strength,
Hops
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LOL!!!
Thanks, (((((((((((((((((((((((((((Hops))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))!
Bones
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I'm still working on writing my business plan for my genealogy look-up provider service and I have been putting out "feelers" to see who might be interested in having me look up documents, on their behalf, at the National Archives. I got one response. However, as soon as she realized that she would need to pay me for my work, she has stopped responding. Is it only N's that demand something for nothing?
Bones
That stinks, but so predictable. Sorry Bones.
Hope you are able to find better health/balance as you battle your chronic health issues. ((hugs)) seasons
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((((Bones)))) I really admire your spirit, Bones, after all you have been through and are going through! xxooo Ami
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I'm still working on writing my business plan for my genealogy look-up provider service and I have been putting out "feelers" to see who might be interested in having me look up documents, on their behalf, at the National Archives. I got one response. However, as soon as she realized that she would need to pay me for my work, she has stopped responding. Is it only N's that demand something for nothing?
Bones
That stinks, but so predictable. Sorry Bones.
Hope you are able to find better health/balance as you battle your chronic health issues. ((hugs)) seasons
Thanks, ((((((((((((((Seasons)))))))))))))))))))))))))
Bones
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((((Bones)))) I really admire your spirit, Bones, after all you have been through and are going through! xxooo Ami
Thanks, (((((((((((((((((((Ami)))))))))))))))))))))))))
Bones
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I think I've noticed another area of growth regarding boundaries.
Recently, I posted a genealogy inquiry to a discussion list and received a private response that included a very obnoxious political statement, that was a hoax, that had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH GENEALOGY! I politely asked this individual not to include political statements and hoaxes, ESPECIALLY since they had NOTHING TO DO WITH GENEALOGY. His reaction was basically, "MY OPINIONS ARE ALWAYS RIGHT AND I WILL FORCE THEM DOWN YOUR THROAT!"
I told him that I will no longer accept any e-mails from him and that his messages will be reported as spam from now on given his attitude. (I was smelling the STENCH of an N!) He attempted to react with the attitude of "I OWN YOU!" to which the e-mail was immediately reported as spam WITHOUT responding to his idiocy!
Bones
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The first letter in this advice column sounds like a NIGHTMARE WITH A NARCISSIST!!!!!
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/annie-s-mailbox-r-2009-10-30.html
If it was one of us, what would we do to stop this NMonster?
Bones
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Just touching base as I'm physically feeling out-of-sorts. This orthostatic hypotension is a pain-in-the-a$$! :P
Bones
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Just a thought or two....
When N's violate boundaries, it is all about CONTROL, CONTROL, CONTROL!!!!
Examples:
An N therapist tells me: "I'll CONTROL your addiction for you!" (while trying to DESTROY my hard-earned sobriety!)
An N shows up UNINVITED at my front door and DEMANDS that I DROP everything IMMEDIATELY and ENTERTAIN HER!
In the first letter of Annie's Mailbox of Friday, October 30, 2009, an NM-I-L attempts to CONTROL her son and daughter-in-law!
(Please add other examples of C-O-N-T-R-O-L by OBNOXIOUS N's! Thank you!)
Bones
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Just touching base...
Bones
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Hi Bonesie
Thinking of you! :D xxxoo
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Hi Bonesie
Thinking of you! :D xxxoo
Thanks, Ami.
Bones
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Hey Bones,
I thought about writing examples of Ncontrolling incidents, then realized I have a lifetime of them in my head and I don't want to add to that space by reliving them.
I'm in solidarity with you dealing with it though.
love to you, and I hope you're feeling a bit better today...
Hops
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Hey Bones,
I thought about writing examples of Ncontrolling incidents, then realized I have a lifetime of them in my head and I don't want to add to that space by reliving them.
I'm in solidarity with you dealing with it though.
love to you, and I hope you're feeling a bit better today...
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
I'm in the "Name It, Claim It, Dump It" mode while learning to recognize the warning signs of someone attempting to control me that way again so I can head them off at the pass!
Bones
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Weather has the aches and pains going.
Bones
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N-Characteristics that I have observed:
REFUSING to take responsibility for the BIG MESSES they create!
REFUSING to apologize for damages they cause.
ATTEMPTING to DUMP responsibilities on others that they find INCONVENIENT!
ATTEMPTING TO FORCE ABSOLUTE, TOTAL, UNQUESTIONED CONTROL, CONTROL, CONTROL, down others' throats!
Responding IN THE EXTREME whenever ANYONE DARES TO DISAGREE with their ROYAL SELVES!
ATTEMPTING to USE OTHERS as INANIMATE OBJECTS!
(I'll think of more later.....)
Bones
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Just touching base as I'm physically feeling out-of-sorts. This orthostatic hypotension is a pain-in-the-a$$! :P
Bones
Is this the getting dizzy when you stand up? Are there other things involved, ((((Bones))))) ? Ami
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Just touching base as I'm physically feeling out-of-sorts. This orthostatic hypotension is a pain-in-the-a$$! :P
Bones
Is this the getting dizzy when you stand up? Are there other things involved, ((((Bones))))) ? Ami
Sorry that I didn't clarify....
The orthostatic hypotension is the cause of getting dizzy when I stand up because my blood pressure drops into the basement.
The doctor has not been able to determine why I've developed low blood pressure when I stand.
Bones
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Oh I see (((Bones))).It sounds really hard and frustrating to deal with ! Ami
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Oh I see (((Bones))).It sounds really hard and frustrating to deal with ! Ami
It is very frustrating when it hits at unpredictable moments.
Bones
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Yes, I know you want to have a full life ,now, and anything that interferes is frustrating and depressing. We have lost so much of our life to NM's . xxxoo Ami
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Yes, I know you want to have a full life ,now, and anything that interferes is frustrating and depressing. We have lost so much of our life to NM's . xxxoo Ami
True that!
I HATE NWomb-Donors for STEALING FROM US AND RAPING US!
Bones
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It REALLY was a rape, Bonesie. You are so right! xxoo Ami
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It REALLY was a rape, Bonesie. You are so right! xxoo Ami
Thanks, Ami.
Bones
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Woke up feeling REALLY ANGRY this morning!!!! :twisted:
Then realized, Thanksgiving and Christmas are coming VERY shortly!!! That means seeing all the COMMERCIAL reminders of "loving" families!!!!! :P
Bones
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Woke up feeling REALLY ANGRY this morning!!!! :twisted:
Then realized, Thanksgiving and Christmas are coming VERY shortly!!! That means seeing all the COMMERCIAL reminders of "loving" families!!!!! :P
Bones
I hate all that stuff ,too, Bones. I always felt like the Little Match Girl. Have you ever read that? Ami
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Woke up feeling REALLY ANGRY this morning!!!! :twisted:
Then realized, Thanksgiving and Christmas are coming VERY shortly!!! That means seeing all the COMMERCIAL reminders of "loving" families!!!!! :P
Bones
I hate all that stuff ,too, Bones. I always felt like the Little Match Girl. Have you ever read that? Ami
I read the Little Match Girl when I was a kid and could REALLY identify with her!
Bones
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Oh yeah. I cry every time I read it or even tell someone the story.
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Oh yeah. I cry every time I read it or even tell someone the story.
Makes you wonder what the author knew when he wrote it.
Bones
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I'm going to be busy for a couple of days taking an Incident Command System Class through the Federal Emergency Management Agency as part of being a Community Emergency Response Team member.
Bones
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That sounds like it will be an experience (((Bones))). Yes, whoever wrote the Little Match Girl has probably tasted sorrow. xxxoo Ami
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Thanks, (((((((((((((((Ami))))))))))))))))))))))
Bones
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You are welcome(((Sweetie))))) Ami
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My N mom expects me to undress in front of her without feeling ashamed, even if I'm fully naked. This is just occurring to me now that this is strange. I was trying on clothes for the wedding, and she doesn't even let me have my privacy when I'm changing. She also has a strange habit of walking into fitting rooms with me, without even asking.
When I tell her "Turn around. I'm changing," she rolls her eyes.
When I was young, I just dealt with it. Now that I'm 26, I feel very AWKWARD having her expect me to undress in front of her and stand there topless. :?
No wonder I had such poor sexual boundaries growing up! My N mom is indirectly telling me that my body isn't mine and that it's some kind of "show" for everyone.
That's how I feel at least.
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NLAS, your remark made me realize that sometimes I do that to my daughter ... my intentions are not to embarrass her, but that despite my intentions maybe I do. For example, sometimes we will get the "handicapped" dressing room at a store, and it's really big, and I don't see the point of staying outside when she can hand me the clothes and I can hang them back up for her. But in my defense, in those situations she keeps her underwear on AND I don't deliberately look at her, in fact, I deliberately look away. Her bathroom is being remodeled right now, and the other night she took a bath in my bathroom ... I had to "go potty" and so I went in there but I deliberately looked down at the floor as I went in and out (the "potty" is in a separate enclosure inside the bathroom). She's not so paranoid anymore but a few years ago she would shriek if I saw her changing ... and it would aggravate me because I wasn't on purpose looking at her, and something sexual never crossed my mind --- not only am I heterosexual but I'm not a pedophile or some kind of incestuous freak either !! (The "freak" word is used to describe perpetrators ... I would never even think that about a victim ...).
Anyway, regardless of what I am or am not thinking, if she feels like her private space is invaded maybe I should take it more seriously. I do think she takes it too far --- she NEVER tells me when she has her period, and most of the time won't even tell me when she's had a migraine. Once she said that several months in the past she actually passed out from a migraine and didn't tell me. You would think that we didn't care or that we had been abusive, which we have not. She is adopted and was traumatized in the first 2 years of life, and I don't think she has ever fully recovered.
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HOP, I hope I didn't make you feel bad. I don't think you're intentionally invading your daughter's privacy either. Maybe you could ask her how she feels about it.
Maybe I'm just so angry at my NM right now that every little thing is bothering me. My mom criticizes my weight, so maybe that's why I don't like to undress in front of her. She will be able to see the flaws in my body and point them out.
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My N mom expects me to undress in front of her without feeling ashamed, even if I'm fully naked. This is just occurring to me now that this is strange. I was trying on clothes for the wedding, and she doesn't even let me have my privacy when I'm changing. She also has a strange habit of walking into fitting rooms with me, without even asking.
When I tell her "Turn around. I'm changing," she rolls her eyes.
When I was young, I just dealt with it. Now that I'm 26, I feel very AWKWARD having her expect me to undress in front of her and stand there topless. :?
No wonder I had such poor sexual boundaries growing up! My N mom is indirectly telling me that my body isn't mine and that it's some kind of "show" for everyone.
That's how I feel at least.
I can relate!
Bones
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The NM invades you. Mine did it emotionally . Actually, she did it physically, too. I was always afraid she would tell me she was a lesbiam and attracted to me. I would pray when my M got on the subject of lesbians that it would not get to this. I must have special angels cuz it didn't.
NLAS, trust yourself.
HOP, I bet your adopted D suffered before her adoption. I would not blame myself. xxxoo Ami
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NLAS, No, I didn't feel bad, I just was thinking that I don't want to come across like your mother did to you ... that she doesn't have a right to privacy. But thanks, you gave me something to think about!
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I've always had to work hard at having some boundaries. I was never allowed boundaries or privacy growing up so I never developed any sense of personal space or boundaries.
I have been careful with my daughter as much as possible, always knocking on her bedroom door and treating her space with respect, but I too fall down about the changing room situation.
We have often gone swimming together, and one pool has a few changing cubicles and a very large open plan changing area. I prefer the open plan bit as you get plenty of space. Lots of women use this area and I think it is good that we are not ashamed of our bodies. My daughter doesn't like to use the communal changing area and I have often tried to encourage her to do so. This is probably a mistake on my part though.
Ami - that is really weird, I used to think the same as you. That my mother would say she was attracted to me. I have never told anyone before, and it makes my flesh crawl thinking about it. She often told me things about her sex life that were highly inappropriate for my age. Yet somehow she was also a complete prude when it came to me growing up and having boyfriends.
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I'm back after taking a 3-day FEMA class. I must say that I learned a lot and, unfortunately, found myself dealing with an N on my team! :P
I couldn't help but notice that EVERY TIME the teams were given an assignment, she would do a DISAPPEARING act! At one point, when someone tracked her down and ordered her to return to the assignment, she attempted to DICTATE TO US WITHOUT REALLY DOING ANYTHING WITH THE ASSIGNMENT! (Sound familiar?)
At one point, when I was trying to express an opinion regarding an assignment we were all supposed to be working on as a team, she kept cutting me off in mid-sentence, SEVERAL TIMES! Her attitude was that SHE KNOWS EVERYTHING AND KNOWS OUR THOUGHTS AND KNOWS WHAT IS BEST FOR US, (but NOT DOING her part)! :P Finally, after she interrupted me for about the THIRD or FOURTH TIME, I finally snapped off at her: "I have been trying to express my thoughts and YOU KEEP CUTTING ME OFF!!!! THAT is making me CRAZY and you need to KNOCK IT OFF!!!!" She stopped butting in and cutting me off after that but still continued to "half-a$$" her part of the assignments that our team was given, which created problems for the whole team when it came time to give a presentation in front of everyone! (I'm sure the instructor noticed!)
When it came time to take the final exam, you can guess who bugged out WITHOUT taking the test NOR filling out ANY of the required paperwork! If you guessed "Little Miss N", you are RIGHT!! :P :P
The material was a challenge to learn and retain, especially given that I have never role-played being in command during a disaster, incident, or event, before. Having my patience tested by an N didn't help matters any! :P
Hopefully, I'll know by next week or so if I passed the final exam or not.
Bones
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The experience reminded me of what I went through with a group communication class I took several years ago....very similar scenario!!!
Bones
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((((Bones))) Sounds like you dealt with little miss N okay. When you noticed she was likely an N - did you say to yourself "sh**" or "no problem, I can handle her" or somewhere in between? I'm curious.
Talk about violating boundaries - on wednesday, I had a job interview. After that, I went to meet my brother, who I'd spoken to about having a "we are adults - we have boundaries" type discussion with NM. She's been causing havoc for both of us lately. My brother discovered 10 years ago in his first divorce that our Mother was BPD and was likely the reason he picked his first wife. He is going through T again, as he and his second wife have taken some time apart to work things out. He told me about this BPD discovery a couple of months ago and we seemed to have shared some information that has made me feel closer to him.
Anyway, so we met and it was an awful experience. He has become so one-sided about his version of the events and thinks his T process is giving him all the answers, including telling me what my problems are. But he was way off base. He berated me about my choices, the words I use (trying a semantic game play on walls vs. defenses vs. boundaries). I discovered that he really was not listening. Also, he threw out some BS about "choices" like I could sell my car or take a job at Starbucks, rather than the choice I did make, which was to ask my NM for some assistance until I get another job. ( I got laid off in dec 07, went thought 23k savings in 08, 09, had no debt and paid off my car) I've been very financially responsible. If you can pay off your car on unemployment and have 23 k saved - thats not too bad. He told me he has to move in dec and he doesnt even have moving expenses and first/last, so he's the last person to be lecturing me about $$$.) Going to her was dreadful and my last resort, but I dont regret it.
At one point, I was in his car and he kept going on and I was feeling abused. I was getting hot and faint at the same time. When he got to the corner I said" I have to get out of this car". I jumped out and walked the 12 or so blocks to my car. He never turned back ,never called to ask what happened or if I was OK. It was really awful. I felt violated as thought I trusted him with important information and he violated that trust by not being understanding and choosing to lecture me (and trust me, he has a lot of his own problems)
When I got back to my car, I called my T and went in on Friday for a session. He told me that my Brother was likely projecting his stuff, including the crap about choices, into me and it was about HIM not ME. I agreed, but what gets me the most is that he is now making assumptions about me based on misinformation that he might use to make conclusions, only to find they will be wrong in the future. Additionally, my Brother didn't think I should take the job, because it means that I will be in very close proximity to Nm for a couple of months. Ugh. I know this exchange will backfire someday. My T really helped me this time -he said it was nothing to worry about - I felt it needed to be addressed by email as in "I got out of the car because I felt.......and you violated my boundaries because...... and we cant talk if you are not interested in listening because....." T seems to think it was nothing to worry about since I cant control how he thinks, true, but I think I need to say "this hurt, I don't appreciate it". I'm still thinking about this.
Needless to say, Brother and I never got to discuss the part about the boundaries with NM - so nothing was accomplished. We (me and brother) have still not spoken about the "I have to get out of this car" incident.
There are verbal boundaries and he really managed to cross mine this time. I wont allow it in the future. Its a violation of trust to discuss something or relevance to us BOTH and have him dominate this way.
I'd apprecaite your feedback.
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And, Bones, kudos to you for starting the most popular, most read and most responded to thread.... :)
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((((Bones))) Sounds like you dealt with little miss N okay. When you noticed she was likely an N - did you say to yourself "sh**" or "no problem, I can handle her" or somewhere in between? I'm curious.
Talk about violating boundaries - on wednesday, I had a job interview. After that, I went to meet my brother, who I'd spoken to about having a "we are adults - we have boundaries" type discussion with NM. She's been causing havoc for both of us lately. My brother discovered 10 years ago in his first divorce that our Mother was BPD and was likely the reason he picked his first wife. He is going through T again, as he and his second wife have taken some time apart to work things out. He told me about this BPD discovery a couple of months ago and we seemed to have shared some information that has made me feel closer to him.
Anyway, so we met and it was an awful experience. He has become so one-sided about his version of the events and thinks his T process is giving him all the answers, including telling me what my problems are. But he was way off base. He berated me about my choices, the words I use (trying a semantic game play on walls vs. defenses vs. boundaries). I discovered that he really was not listening. Also, he threw out some BS about "choices" like I could sell my car or take a job at Starbucks, rather than the choice I did make, which was to ask my NM for some assistance until I get another job. ( I got laid off in dec 07, went thought 23k savings in 08, 09, had no debt and paid off my car) I've been very financially responsible. If you can pay off your car on unemployment and have 23 k saved - thats not too bad. He told me he has to move in dec and he doesnt even have moving expenses and first/last, so he's the last person to be lecturing me about $$$.) Going to her was dreadful and my last resort, but I dont regret it.
At one point, I was in his car and he kept going on and I was feeling abused. I was getting hot and faint at the same time. When he got to the corner I said" I have to get out of this car". I jumped out and walked the 12 or so blocks to my car. He never turned back ,never called to ask what happened or if I was OK. It was really awful. I felt violated as thought I trusted him with important information and he violated that trust by not being understanding and choosing to lecture me (and trust me, he has a lot of his own problems)
When I got back to my car, I called my T and went in on Friday for a session. He told me that my Brother was likely projecting his stuff, including the crap about choices, into me and it was about HIM not ME. I agreed, but what gets me the most is that he is now making assumptions about me based on misinformation that he might use to make conclusions, only to find they will be wrong in the future. Additionally, my Brother didn't think I should take the job, because it means that I will be in very close proximity to Nm for a couple of months. Ugh. I know this exchange will backfire someday. My T really helped me this time -he said it was nothing to worry about - I felt it needed to be addressed by email as in "I got out of the car because I felt.......and you violated my boundaries because...... and we cant talk if you are not interested in listening because....." T seems to think it was nothing to worry about since I cant control how he thinks, true, but I think I need to say "this hurt, I don't appreciate it". I'm still thinking about this.
Needless to say, Brother and I never got to discuss the part about the boundaries with NM - so nothing was accomplished. We (me and brother) have still not spoken about the "I have to get out of this car" incident.
There are verbal boundaries and he really managed to cross mine this time. I wont allow it in the future. Its a violation of trust to discuss something or relevance to us BOTH and have him dominate this way.
I'd apprecaite your feedback.
Dear(( Ales)))
Some relationships are too far gone to put any time or effort in it. I have a current one which fits that category. Why bother? Why try? It is like talking to a brick wall.
I disengage and stay within my boundaries. It feels strange ,but good. I feel guilty and bad not to be jumping in to fix like I had to do with my M .It is healthy not to fight with a scorpion who will always be a scorpion.
I am realizing that some people will never change. *I* am the one who is in error for wanting or expecting it.
It is a freedom. xxooo Ami
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((((Bones))) Sounds like you dealt with little miss N okay. When you noticed she was likely an N - did you say to yourself "sh**" or "no problem, I can handle her" or somewhere in between? I'm curious.
Talk about violating boundaries - on wednesday, I had a job interview. After that, I went to meet my brother, who I'd spoken to about having a "we are adults - we have boundaries" type discussion with NM. She's been causing havoc for both of us lately. My brother discovered 10 years ago in his first divorce that our Mother was BPD and was likely the reason he picked his first wife. He is going through T again, as he and his second wife have taken some time apart to work things out. He told me about this BPD discovery a couple of months ago and we seemed to have shared some information that has made me feel closer to him.
Anyway, so we met and it was an awful experience. He has become so one-sided about his version of the events and thinks his T process is giving him all the answers, including telling me what my problems are. But he was way off base. He berated me about my choices, the words I use (trying a semantic game play on walls vs. defenses vs. boundaries). I discovered that he really was not listening. Also, he threw out some BS about "choices" like I could sell my car or take a job at Starbucks, rather than the choice I did make, which was to ask my NM for some assistance until I get another job. ( I got laid off in dec 07, went thought 23k savings in 08, 09, had no debt and paid off my car) I've been very financially responsible. If you can pay off your car on unemployment and have 23 k saved - thats not too bad. He told me he has to move in dec and he doesnt even have moving expenses and first/last, so he's the last person to be lecturing me about $$$.) Going to her was dreadful and my last resort, but I dont regret it.
At one point, I was in his car and he kept going on and I was feeling abused. I was getting hot and faint at the same time. When he got to the corner I said" I have to get out of this car". I jumped out and walked the 12 or so blocks to my car. He never turned back ,never called to ask what happened or if I was OK. It was really awful. I felt violated as thought I trusted him with important information and he violated that trust by not being understanding and choosing to lecture me (and trust me, he has a lot of his own problems)
When I got back to my car, I called my T and went in on Friday for a session. He told me that my Brother was likely projecting his stuff, including the crap about choices, into me and it was about HIM not ME. I agreed, but what gets me the most is that he is now making assumptions about me based on misinformation that he might use to make conclusions, only to find they will be wrong in the future. Additionally, my Brother didn't think I should take the job, because it means that I will be in very close proximity to Nm for a couple of months. Ugh. I know this exchange will backfire someday. My T really helped me this time -he said it was nothing to worry about - I felt it needed to be addressed by email as in "I got out of the car because I felt.......and you violated my boundaries because...... and we cant talk if you are not interested in listening because....." T seems to think it was nothing to worry about since I cant control how he thinks, true, but I think I need to say "this hurt, I don't appreciate it". I'm still thinking about this.
Needless to say, Brother and I never got to discuss the part about the boundaries with NM - so nothing was accomplished. We (me and brother) have still not spoken about the "I have to get out of this car" incident.
There are verbal boundaries and he really managed to cross mine this time. I wont allow it in the future. Its a violation of trust to discuss something or relevance to us BOTH and have him dominate this way.
I'd apprecaite your feedback.
Thanks, ((((((((Ales2))))))))))!
When I sensed that little Missy was most likely an N, my reaction was, at first, somewhere in-between. However, when she kept cutting me off, cutting me off, cutting me off...repeatedly, that's when I thought, "SH*T!" and then snapped off at her! I had previously tried to say an assertive comment only to have her CUT ME OFF AGAIN and I no longer had any more patience for this kind of cr*p!
I don't blame you for wanting to make assertive statements to your brother. Be prepared for the possibility that he may try to cut you off, in mid-sentence, and continue to project his cr*p onto you. He may respond, vociferously, via e-mail, and attempt to continue to project his cr*p. You may have to give consequences if he continues to attempt to violate your boundaries again. It's up to you to decide what those consequences might be.
Bones
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And, Bones, kudos to you for starting the most popular, most read and most responded to thread.... :)
Thanks, Ales2!
Bones
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Ami - great thoughts about accepting them as they are and not expecting anything to change - we change instead.
Bones - reclaiming boundaries is probably the right thing to do - reclaiming meaning stating he overstepped boundaries last time and I was silent because I was trying to understand and wont allow that in the future. You are right on this one!
Thanks to you both for your responses.
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Ami - great thoughts about accepting them as they are and not expecting anything to change - we change instead.
Bones - reclaiming boundaries is probably the right thing to do - reclaiming meaning stating he overstepped boundaries last time and I was silent because I was trying to understand and wont allow that in the future. You are right on this one!
Thanks to you both for your responses.
You're welcome, Ales2!
Bones
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A couple of random thoughts here and there....
I've been reading the threads about how the NWomb-Donors used food as a form of control and abuse. It reminded me of one time that the NWomb-Donor took NGCB to the pediatrician and complained about him being fat. The pediatrician suggested a diet to put him on...e.g. skim milk instead of regular milk, sherbet instead of ice cream, etc. NWomb-Donor NEVER admitted to the doctor that she was allowing NGCB to eat NON-STOP while forcing me to wash EVERY DISH HE DIRTIED!!!!
Another website that a friend told me about is "Mother-in-law stories". She reads them because they remind her of her ex-mother-in-law and she finds them funny. It helps her to laugh at the H3!! she left behind when she sent N-Mommy's-baby back to his NWomb-Donor! I read through a few of the stories and it makes me think of "NIGHTMARES WITH AN N!"
Bones
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Being a resident of the DC Metro area, my emotions are all over the place this morning.
The DC Sniper is scheduled to be executed this evening and I still feel INTENSE RAGE AND HATRED toward that monster for what he did to us!
Bones
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(((((Bones)))) xxo Ami
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(((((Bones)))) xxo Ami
Thanks, (((((((((((((((Ami)))))))))))))))))))))))))
Bones
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It's over. The Beltway Sniper is gone for good.
One of his letters, to one of his ex-wives, was published after his execution.
The tone sounds like the usual Narcissistic snarkiness.
Why am I not surprised?
Bones
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To switch gears, I've been reading postings from the website below and MANY of the situations sound like these poor gals and guys are dealing with FLAMING N's!
http://motherinlawhell.com/2009/10/objection-anyone/
However, one of the advising postings, in response to the described scenario, was LAUGH-OUT-LOUD-FUNNY!!!! :D
With the tradition of tossing the bridal bouquet at the wedding, have the NMIL Toss!! The farther the toss, the better the luck for the new bride and groom! :lol:
Bones
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Just touching base.
Bones
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Hi ((((Bones)))). How you feeling? Ami
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Hi ((((Bones)))). How you feeling? Ami
Feeling a little tired right now.
I've been working on taking the ICS Prerequisites and passing those tests in order to become completely FEMA compliant.
Bones
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Bones-
Congrats! Yes... Classic..... deer in the headlights responses to your attempts to reclaim your moment. Glad to hear you still enjoyed your moment. This "friend" sounds terminally N... what a bundle of distraction to the joys of life....
swimmer
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Bones-
Congrats! Yes... Classic..... deer in the headlights responses to your attempts to reclaim your moment. Glad to hear you still enjoyed your moment. This "friend" sounds terminally N... what a bundle of distraction to the joys of life....
swimmer
Thanks, Swimmer!
This NfrieNd, aka NDoofus, has been permanently cut off. Being NC is TOTAL BLISS!!!!
Bones
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Just an update...
I received the first of the FEMA certificates that document that I officially passed one of their courses!
Bones
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((((Yeah----Great update----Bones)))))) Ami
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((((Yeah----Great update----Bones)))))) Ami
Thanks, (((((((((((((Ami))))))))))))))
Bones
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Just checking in this morning.
Yesterday, bf and I were watching Shrek the Third. Maybe it's my radar, but I couldn't help but notice that in all three of these Shrek movies, the main villain was a NARCISSIST who got a FANTASTIC COME-UPPANCE!!!! Maybe that's why I enjoy these movies so much!!!!
Bones
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Just touching base this morning.
Feeling frustrated because the e-mail website is down. I find that bothersome because my business idea would be dependent on e-mail and a non-functional e-mail website would be BAD for business! :P
Bones
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Just checking in this morning.
Yesterday, bf and I were watching Shrek the Third. Maybe it's my radar, but I couldn't help but notice that in all three of these Shrek movies, the main villain was a NARCISSIST who got a FANTASTIC COME-UPPANCE!!!! Maybe that's why I enjoy these movies so much!!!!
Bones
LOL xxo Ami
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Just checking in this morning.
Yesterday, bf and I were watching Shrek the Third. Maybe it's my radar, but I couldn't help but notice that in all three of these Shrek movies, the main villain was a NARCISSIST who got a FANTASTIC COME-UPPANCE!!!! Maybe that's why I enjoy these movies so much!!!!
Bones
LOL xxo Ami
LOL is RIGHT! :lol:
Bones
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Relationships are really 50/50. You own 100% of your 50. Problem with Ns is that they try to own your 50 by violating your boundaries! I'm taking back my 50% - TODAY!
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Relationships are really 50/50. You own 100% of your 50. Problem with Ns is that they try to own your 50 by violating your boundaries! I'm taking back my 50% - TODAY!
Agreed!
Bones
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Last week, I was working on three prerequisites in addition to another FEMA class.
I just got word that I passed all three prerequisites and received certificates for them via e-mail. Now I'm waiting for the results of the fourth class.
Bones
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You smart cookie.
Yay, Bones!
Hops
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You smart cookie.
Yay, Bones!
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
Bones
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Just touching base for the morning.
I think I'm getting another ear infection...again! I'm tired of this mess!!!! :P
Bones
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:|
Bones
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((((((Bones))))) xxxoo Ami
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((((((Bones))))) xxxoo Ami
Thanks, (((((((((((((((((Ami)))))))))))))))))))))))
Bones
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How's the ear, Bones?
are you on antibiotics?
Got eardrops?
Does a heating pad by your head help?
It's hard to be patient with illness.
I feel for you.
love,
Hops
PS--you might also like the book I just suggested to Izzy...it's quite amazing.
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How's the ear, Bones?
are you on antibiotics?
Got eardrops?
Does a heating pad by your head help?
It's hard to be patient with illness.
I feel for you.
love,
Hops
PS--you might also like the book I just suggested to Izzy...it's quite amazing.
Hi, Hops.
The problem with the type of ear infections I get is that there is usually no pain...just a LOT of dizziness and balance issues! I've been trying to work out the logistics of getting to the doctor's office since I don't want to drive while feeling dizzy and walking several blocks to the doctor's office, with balancing issues, is NOT fun! Then there's the issue of the co-pay, BEFORE the doctor will see you, in addition to the health insurance premium, possible prescription(s), PLUS paying for the office visit later because my health insurance does NOT cover enough of the costs! Without enough of an income coming in, that makes meeting expenses difficult. :P
Bones
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Letter Number Two sounds like the writer is dealing with a Flaming Narcissist!
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/annie-s-mailbox-r-2009-11-20.html
Bones
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How are you (((Bones))))) ? xxxoo Ami
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How are you (((Bones))))) ? xxxoo Ami
I still feel under the weather.
Bones
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I am sorry (((Bones)))) xxxoo Ami
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I am sorry (((Bones)))) xxxoo Ami
Thanks, ((((Ami))))).
On top of it all, when I called the ear specialist's office to make an appointment, I learned that he was killed in a car accident two months ago!!!!! That REALLY UPSETS ME!!! He was such a COOL DUDE!!!! I REALLY liked him!!! He REALLY listened to his patients and we could also talk about Star Trek!
Bones
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I am sorry (((Bones)))) xxxoo Ami
Thanks, ((((Ami))))).
On top of it all, when I called the ear specialist's office to make an appointment, I learned that he was killed in a car accident two months ago!!!!! That REALLY UPSETS ME!!! He was such a COOL DUDE!!!! I REALLY liked him!!! He REALLY listened to his patients and we could also talk about Star Trek!
Bones
Oh Man, Bones.When it rains ,it pours! I am sorry, Bonesie! xxxoo Ami
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Oh, no! That stinks, Bones. :(
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I am sorry (((Bones)))) xxxoo Ami
Thanks, ((((Ami))))).
On top of it all, when I called the ear specialist's office to make an appointment, I learned that he was killed in a car accident two months ago!!!!! That REALLY UPSETS ME!!! He was such a COOL DUDE!!!! I REALLY liked him!!! He REALLY listened to his patients and we could also talk about Star Trek!
Bones
Oh Man, Bones.When it rains ,it pours! I am sorry, Bonesie! xxxoo Ami
Thanks, Ami.
Bones
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Oh, no! That stinks, Bones. :(
Thanks, Cantors Counter.
Bones
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What makes his death all the more tragic was WHERE it happened...along a stretch of Route 32 between Howard County and Carroll County, Maryland, a few blocks from his own house. He was part of a group, struggling with bureaucrats, to make THAT part of the route safer for all! That was his commute home after work. He was waiting for south-bound traffic to clear so that he could make a left turn onto his home street when he was rear-ended by a van traveling at high speed. (The van driver was distracted...possibly cellphone or texting someone and NOT paying attention to the road!) That collision knocked my doctor into the south-bound traffic where he was T-boned by a pick-up truck going at high speed, mangling his car beyond recognition. He didn't have a chance! :(
Bones
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Oh Bones, that IS tragic! How awful that he was killed at the very place he knew was unsafe and was fighting to make safer. Some enterprising young reporter needs to make it his career to take up your doctor's fight. I'm so sorry. :(
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Oh Bones, that IS tragic! How awful that he was killed at the very place he knew was unsafe and was fighting to make safer. Some enterprising young reporter needs to make it his career to take up your doctor's fight. I'm so sorry. :(
Thanks, Cantors Counter.
His death made the local news in Baltimore. I was able to look it up on the Internet, under "Brian Emery", after his office informed me of his death. Apparently the group he was with is now going to fight harder to make that road safer.
Bones
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Life is so precious.
I'm really sorry, Bones...that is tragic.
It sounds as though he didn't suffer (no time).
I hope it's true.
hugs and comfort,
Hops
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Life is so precious.
I'm really sorry, Bones...that is tragic.
It sounds as though he didn't suffer (no time).
I hope it's true.
hugs and comfort,
Hops
I can only hope he didn't see what was coming before that idiot hit him.
Bones
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Yes, I hope so (((Bones))). It is hard to find a compassionate doctor, IME. xxxooo Ami
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Yes, I hope so (((Bones))). It is hard to find a compassionate doctor, IME. xxxooo Ami
Exactly!
Nowadays, I feel as if I'm on an assembly line conveyor belt, instead of being a HUMAN patient, in a doctor's office! It often feels dehumanizing!
Bones
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Life is so precious.
I'm really sorry, Bones...that is tragic.
It sounds as though he didn't suffer (no time).
I hope it's true.
hugs and comfort,
Hops
I'm also hoping that this incident FINALLY get the bureaucrats OFF THEIR A$$E$ and DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT DANGER!
Bones
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I REALLY lost it last night!!!! :twisted:
I'm part of a writers group and the head of our group called for all of us to meet at a nearby restaurant at 3:00 PM to discuss the progress of our work. I was one of a group of four women who showed up at the appointed time of 3:00 PM.
The person, who gave me a ride, and I were REALLY hungry upon arrival as neither one of us really had any breakfast. (That's another story.) The other two women wanted to wait until the head of our group arrived before ordering ANYTHING to eat. I stated that given that my ride and I are both dealing with chronic health issues, we NEED to get something to eat NOW and went ahead and ordered! The other two sat and watched us eat without saying much.
In the meantime, the four of us waited....and waited....and waited....and waited for the head of our group. No phone call, no show, no NOTHING!!!!! After about a couple of hours of this waiting, we called his job, thinking he had been called in to work at the last minute. The person, who answered the phone, stated that he had the day off. We tried calling his home...no answer EXCEPT voice mail! (BTW, this individual REFUSES to have a cell phone!)
So the four of us continue to sit in the restaurant, NOT knowing WHERE he is, NOT knowing WHERE to reach him, NOT knowing if he's been attacked, been in an accident, in a hospital somewhere...comatose...and getting more and more UPSET and ANGRY!!!!! (This is NOT the first time he has done this!) Finally, the other two ladies went ahead and ordered something to eat as they were TIRED of waiting for this guy to show up!
FINALLY, at 6:00 PM, THREE HOURS LATER, he strolls in nonchalantly!!!!! :twisted: Needless to say, the four of us LIT INTO HIM!!! He couldn't understand why there was a problem. :roll: He also saw no need to apologize and REFUSED TO DO SO!!!!
Then he made the mistake of sitting down, to my right, and made a couple of sexist, chauvanistic remarks, some specifically aimed at me, and that's when I HAULED OFF AND CLOCKED HIM!!!!!! :twisted: :twisted:
MEN CAN BE SO STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:
Bones
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There's also trouble brewing with the head of our main club who has begun making UNILATERAL decisions and is DEMANDING we go along with his decisions WITHOUT QUESTION!!!! :P NOT ME!!!! :P :P
Bones
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I'm getting to practice my new skills on a suspected Narcissist!
The four of us ladies told him EXACTLY how we felt about what he did and the way he treated us this past weekend.
He attempted to flip it back on us, with the "blame game". (Sound familiar?)
I tossed it back to him, emphasizing ACCOUNTABILITY and RESPONSIBILITY on his part .
He attempted the "divide and conquer" technique, via e-mail, trying to "single" me out. (Does this also sound familiar?)
I tossed it back to him with a "cc:" to the three other ladies which included his "message" to me and, again, emphasized ACCOUNTABILITY and RESPONSIBILITY.
It's getting interesting!
It appears that stating the concepts of ACCOUNTABILITY and RESPONSIBILITY to a Narcissist is the equivalent of waving a red cape in front of a bull!
Bones
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Bones,
Why did you all wait for him for three hours? Fifteen minutes is courteous and 30 minutes is generous. To lose a whole afternoon to waiting for someone! Times four!
The best way to protect your time boundaries is to be non-negotiable with them. If someone doesnt show up, you leave. Then they look for YOU.
CB
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Bones,
Why did you all wait for him for three hours? Fifteen minutes is courteous and 30 minutes is generous. To lose a whole afternoon to waiting for someone! Times four!
The best way to protect your time boundaries is to be non-negotiable with them. If someone doesnt show up, you leave. Then they look for YOU.
CB
In this case, we also had a separate club meeting, with other members scheduled to arrive at the same restaurant at 5:00 PM. We are all members of this club. So it didn't make sense for us to leave that restaurant only to return, in an hour or less, to the EXACT SAME restaurant for our general club meeting with other members. (BTW, another male member of the general club, Mr. "Doe", also BLASTED this inconsiderate person for his disrespectful attitude toward the female members of the club, one of which included the wife of the one who was defending us, Mrs. "Doe". It got pretty TENSE!)
Bones
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And the Inconsiderate One can't understand why we don't simply just "read his mind" all the time! :P
Bones
-
:|
Bones
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You Rock (((Bonesie))))) xxo Ami
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You Rock (((Bonesie))))) xxo Ami
Thanks, (((((((((((((((((((((Ami)))))))))))))))))))))))))
Bones
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Today is Thanksgiving Day and I woke up in a VERY BAD MOOD!!!! :x
Then I picked up a catalog that I received in the mail yesterday and found several items that are LAUGH OUT LOUD FUNNY!!!!! It made me wonder if they were designed by a Survivor of a Narcissist!
Among the items that had me chuckling:
Nightshirts that say:
"O Come Let Us Adore Me" and
"The Queen"
T-shirts that say:
"Just Be Happy I'm Not A Twin";
"I Used To Care But I Take A Pill For That Now";
"My Indian Name is Yes Dear";
"I Live At The Corner of Kiss My A$$ Avenue And No Friggin Way"
"Let Me Drop Everything And Work On Your Problem"
"It Is What It Is"
"When I Want Your Opinion, I'll Remove The Duct Tape"
"Don't Worry About What Other People Think, They Don't Do It Very Often"
"National Sarcasm Society: Like We Need Your Support"
"Sarcasm: Just One More Service I Provide"
"I'll Have A Cafe Mocha Vodka-Valium Latte To Go, Please"
"It's All About Me"
"I'm Surrounded By Nuts" (with M & M cartoon characters)
"Where's The Switch That Turns You Off?"
"Be Careful! Or You Will End Up In My Novel!"
"If You Met My Family, You Will Understand"
"Mom Likes Me Best"
"I May Be Left-Handed But I'm Always Right"
"Whatever!"
A T-Shirt and Sweatshirt that says: "3 Wise Men? Be Serious"
For fans of "24": "If You Woke Up This Morning, It's Because Jack Bauer Spared Your Life"
For fans of the Wizard of Oz: a coffee cup that appears to be based on the musical "Wicked" with the phrase: "Don't Make Me Call The Flying Monkeys"
My personal favorite T-Shirt that shows a picture of a duck, with it's bill duct-taped, and the caption: "Shut The Duck Up!"
A metal cutout sign that says: "My Barn, My Rules"
A doormat that says: "Well Butter My Butt & Call Me A Biscuit: Look Who's Here"
A plaque that says: "Deja Moo: The Feeling You've Heard This Bull Before"
A coffee cup that says: "She Who Must Be Obeyed"
I Think Red Headed Erin will like this T-Shirt: "Redheads are Hot"
I also like this concept, a mazuzah for a baby's room that says: "Bless This Room And The Child Who Dwells Here...growing and playing and sleeping and dreaming"
I like a lot of what I found in the catalog. It definitely lightened the mood!
Bones
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(((((Bones)))))) Bless you, Sweetie! xxxoo Ami
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(((((Bones)))))) Bless you, Sweetie! xxxoo Ami
Thanks, ((((((((((((Ami))))))))))))))
Bones
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A doormat that says: "Well Butter My Butt & Call Me A Biscuit: Look Who's Here"
I love this one! Maybe we should all chip in and get it for PR, eh? Sooooo tasteful.
Seriously, I love it. What's the catalogue??
Thanks, Bones...and Happy Tgiving to you, hon.
xxoo
Hops
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A doormat that says: "Well Butter My Butt & Call Me A Biscuit: Look Who's Here"
I love this one! Maybe we should all chip in and get it for PR, eh? Sooooo tasteful.
Seriously, I love it. What's the catalogue??
Thanks, Bones...and Happy Tgiving to you, hon.
xxoo
Hops
You're welcome, Hops.
The catalog is titled: "Catalog favorites". They also have a website: www.catalogfavorites.com
Bones
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The club I belong to is having an ongoing discussion. Issues have been festering for months. One member wrote a detailed description of behaviors that have been observed which included the description of: "Only I am PERFECT!" I observed that the attitude described has a name: Narcissism. At NO time was the observation aimed at a specific person or labeled a specific person. One of the individuals in charge responded with the following rant: "How DARE you say THAT! AFTER ALL I'VE DONE FOR YOU!!!!!"
Does THAT sound familiar to anyone? (Looks like I exposed an N-snake unintentionally.)
Bones
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Dear Bones
A girl did an N thing to me last week. I hit her back with no guilt. That is all you can do with N's. It seems like you stand up for yourself very well (((Bones))). I admire that. I am just starting to think I am worth my own defense . xxoo Ami
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Dear Bones
A girl did an N thing to me last week. I hit her back with no guilt. That is all you can do with N's. It seems like you stand up for yourself very well (((Bones))). I admire that. I am just starting to think I am worth my own defense . xxoo Ami
Yes, you and I and all Survivors of N's are worth our own defenses!!!
Bones
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Just checking in for the morning.
I'm not fully awake yet.
:|
Bones
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Just taking it easy today.
I just got an e-mail from Dr. McBride regarding her Forum.
The good news: she's reviving it.
The bad news: you have to pay money to subscribe to it and that is something I cannot afford to do with medical bills and no job.
Bones
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:|
Bones
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Oh (((Bones))))) Sorry to hear about the website not being able to be there for you now, Bones. It seemed like it was a home for you!
xxxxoo Ami
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Oh (((Bones))))) Sorry to hear about the website not being able to be there for you now, Bones. It seemed like it was a home for you!
xxxxoo Ami
Thanks, Ami.
On the one hand, I can understand why she did it that way given what happened that caused it to be taken down.
On the other hand, it makes it inaccessible to those who cannot afford it.
Bones
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I've been working on re-organizing my home and came across some boxes that I know belong to the N that I used to sublet from. Part of me debated whether or not to contact her, then I decided to go ahead and let her know that I found the boxes. After all, what could she do from several hundred miles away? If she starts acting the fool again, I can still set boundaries that she cannot cross. The ball is in her court now and I feel stronger knowing that she is DEFINITELY AN N! (Know Thy Enemy!)
Getting these boxes of HER items out of my home is a goal to clear away unnecessary clutter!
Bones
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(((((Bones)))))) xxxoo Ami
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(((((Bones)))))) xxxoo Ami
Thanks, (((((((((Ami))))))))))))))
Bones
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/annie-s-mailbox-r-2009-12-01.html
The first letter in today's column is heartbreaking.
I DESPISE N's!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bones
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I had a strange dream last night!
I dreamt I was hanging out with The Traveling Wilburys in the recording studio. They started performing the song "Last Night" and were making up lyrics that poked fun at Narcissistic Rage-aholic NWomb-Donors that had me giggling!!!! :lol: Then one of them turned on the radio and guess what was playing? "Last Night", with the FUNNY lyrics!!!!! I laughed so hard I woke myself up!!!!!
Bones
(I wish I could remember the lyrics!!!!!)
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Check out the last letter in Dear Abby:
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20091231
What would you do?
Bones
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I don't have the time this morning to read this thread and just looked at the title, but if it is an Nparent you are talking about, from my experience, you HAVE NO boundaries. You are their possession and a total reflection of them. So, yes, N's always violate other's boundaries in my opinion.
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I don't have the time this morning to read this thread and just looked at the title, but if it is an Nparent you are talking about, from my experience, you HAVE NO boundaries. You are their possession and a total reflection of them. So, yes, N's always violate other's boundaries in my opinion.
Thanks, Anastasia.
It's not just an Nparent...it is ANYONE who is an N!!!!!
Bones
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After reading TwoAPenny's account of the way the police scr*wed her over, I'm having flash-backs to what the NWhore did to me when I went to court to stop the abuse once and for all!!!! Those A$$h*les, (i.e. the prosecutor's office) BELIEVED HER WITHOUT BOTHERING TO SPEAK TO ME AT ALL AND REFUSED TO PROCEED WITH THE CASE!!!!! DAMN THEM ALL!!!!!!!!!!! :twisted: May they ALL BURN AND ROT IN H3LL!!!!!
Bones
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You are a fighter (((((Bones)))) ! xxoo Ami
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You are a fighter (((((Bones)))) ! xxoo Ami
Thanks, ((((((((((((((Ami))))))))))))))))))))))
Bones
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Bones, About that last letter in Dear Abby, I would tell. I am now dealing with narcissistic in-laws of my son, and it would be an extreme relief if the affected people had a diagnosis and if other members of their family understood what was going on. The main way to keep a narcissist in check is for everybody else to communicate.
Of course, I think there is likely something out-of-whack with the young man mentioned in the letter too, that he is involved with a young woman already diagnosed with NPD at age 20. Which means that the parents of the young woman should be prepared that the news they bring to him and his family might not be received warmly. They might get jumped on. But I still would tell.
For those of you that have been involved with someone with NPD, I am not implying that everybody that gets involved with a narcissist has problems of their own. I just mean that if you are attracted to a narcissist, your own parents are more likely to have been narcissists ... and so, the family of this young man might have similar problems to the girlfriend.
I find it curious that the writer of the letter is the parent of a young woman who has already been diagnosed with NPD at age 20. I wish I could know more about the writer, as well as what their parenting techniques/practices were. If the parents are not Ns, I wonder what factored into this young woman being so N that she already has a diagnosis. My observation is that very few Ns ever get a diagnosis because they don't think there's anything wrong with them, they are perfectly happy as long as the world revolves around them, and those in distress are those in relationship with them.
I have seen articles suggesting that NPD is exploding among the younger generation --- and unfortunately my generation has to shoulder a lot of the blame. My generation seemed to think that setting reasonable limits on their children was unreasonable, and that giving their kids everything without the kids having to work for anything or even WAIT for it was being a good parent.
So, maybe even if neither parent is an N, mistaken ideas about what it means to treat your children well could conceivably produce N kids. I guess.
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Bones, About that last letter in Dear Abby, I would tell. I am now dealing with narcissistic in-laws of my son, and it would be an extreme relief if the affected people had a diagnosis and if other members of their family understood what was going on. The main way to keep a narcissist in check is for everybody else to communicate.
Of course, I think there is likely something out-of-whack with the young man mentioned in the letter too, that he is involved with a young woman already diagnosed with NPD at age 20. Which means that the parents of the young woman should be prepared that the news they bring to him and his family might not be received warmly. They might get jumped on. But I still would tell.
For those of you that have been involved with someone with NPD, I am not implying that everybody that gets involved with a narcissist has problems of their own. I just mean that if you are attracted to a narcissist, your own parents are more likely to have been narcissists ... and so, the family of this young man might have similar problems to the girlfriend.
I find it curious that the writer of the letter is the parent of a young woman who has already been diagnosed with NPD at age 20. I wish I could know more about the writer, as well as what their parenting techniques/practices were. If the parents are not Ns, I wonder what factored into this young woman being so N that she already has a diagnosis. My observation is that very few Ns ever get a diagnosis because they don't think there's anything wrong with them, they are perfectly happy as long as the world revolves around them, and those in distress are those in relationship with them.
I have seen articles suggesting that NPD is exploding among the younger generation --- and unfortunately my generation has to shoulder a lot of the blame. My generation seemed to think that setting reasonable limits on their children was unreasonable, and that giving their kids everything without the kids having to work for anything or even WAIT for it was being a good parent.
So, maybe even if neither parent is an N, mistaken ideas about what it means to treat your children well could conceivably produce N kids. I guess.
Thanks, HeartofPilgrimage.
Sometimes I wonder what else lies under letters like that?
Bones
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While reorganizing and clearning my home, I came across a hard copy of this article that I found in 2006:
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/annie-s-mailbox-january-22.html
At the time I read this, I did not know about Narcissism. Looking at it again, knowing what I know, it's mind-boggling!!!!
Bones
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A little while ago, I was on a web chat with the Diane Rehm Show. One of the topics that came up was Spasmodic Dysphonia, a neurological condition that attacks the vocal cords. Ms. Rehm was diagnosed with it back in the late 1990's and is still being treated for it. As I read some background information on her, I was struck by the fact that her late mother was very abusive towards her and often told her to "shut up", thereby forbidding her from having ANY voice as a child! (The mother sounds like an N!) The coincidence of Ms. Rehm being forbidden to have a voice as a child and her current battle with Spasmodic Dysphonia makes me wonder if there is a connection somewhere?
Bones
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Hi (((Bones))))
How are you ,today? xxxooo Ami
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Hi (((Bones))))
How are you ,today? xxxooo Ami
Hi, (((((((((((Ami)))))))))))).
I've been working on de-cluttering and it's exhausting. The bf, being a typical male, mainly flaps his gums and doesn't help much until I start raising my voice at him!
Bones
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Oh (((Bonesie)))) I am going on a trip for a few days with no internet access so if I don't write that is why. xxxooo Ami
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Oh (((Bonesie)))) I am going on a trip for a few days with no internet access so if I don't write that is why. xxxooo Ami
I understand.
Thanks, (((((((((((Ami)))))))))))))
Bones
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I hope this N gets the JUSTICE he so richly deserves!!!!
http://my.att.net/s/editorial.dll?pnum=1&bfromind=7434&eeid=6967425&_sitecat=1522&dcatid=0&eetype=article&render=y&ac=2&ck=&ch=ne&ch=ne
Bones
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About the spasmodic dysphonia ... Scott Peck writes about that in People of the Lie (just one of my regular plugs for POTL!). Well, he didn't call it spasmodic dysphonia, but he talked about a pt. that couldn't speak in therapy for months.
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About the spasmodic dysphonia ... Scott Peck writes about that in People of the Lie (just one of my regular plugs for POTL!). Well, he didn't call it spasmodic dysphonia, but he talked about a pt. that couldn't speak in therapy for months.
Thanks, HeartofPilgrimage.
I often wonder if there is a connection between spasmodic dysphonia and being a survivor of a Narcissist.
Bones
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Trying to deal with nasty winter weather here.
Bones
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Christmas is pressing down and the constant reminders of "family gatherings" is really DEPRESSING! :(
Bones
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Hi (((Bonesie))))
I know what you mean about holidays :shock: xxoo Ami
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Hi (((Bonesie))))
I know what you mean about holidays :shock: xxoo Ami
Yeah..it triggers A LOT of UNPLEASANT memories of Christmas Past. No wonder Ebenezer Scrooge said "Bah! Humbug!"
Bones
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Did you ever notice that around the holidays the ads for headache pain killers increase dramatically?
This year I just might do what I've wanted to do for years. Blow everyone off and spend the day working in a homeless shelter. :D
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Did you ever notice that around the holidays the ads for headache pain killers increase dramatically?
This year I just might do what I've wanted to do for years. Blow everyone off and spend the day working in a homeless shelter. :D
That's a very good idea for you to do!
Bones
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To give an update on an earlier situation....
I posted last week that while going through my home and re-organizing things, I found stuff belonging to the N I used to sublet from. This was stuff that the N ranted and raged at me about because I DARED MOVE from the apartment WITHOUT HER PERMISSION in spite of the fact that I gave her TWO MONTHS NOTICE to make a decision about HER STUFF!!!!
Well....it's been ONE WEEK since I notified her that her stuff has been located and her acknowledgment that she wanted her stuff YESTERDAY!!!!! She stated that she would arrange with someone else to pick up and ship her stuff to her home in another state. I commented to her that bf would be here to assist with the boxes. I haven't heard a PEEP from her SINCE!!!! :? :?
WTF????????????????? :? :? :?
Bones
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:|
Bones
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With Christmas bearing down, I've been wavering back and forth about whether or not to bother trying to buy any Christmas gifts this year. The past couple of years, when I was able to afford to buy gifts, I would make an effort to get what bf wanted for Christmas, AFTER SPECIFICALLY ASKING WHAT HE WANTED AND HE SPECIFICALLY TOLD ME WHAT HE WANTED. His usual response would be: (a) take the Christmas wrap off the gift, (b) say "Thanks, Hon", while looking at the gift in his hands, (c) set the gift down on one of my shelves and NEVER look at it again!!!! :x
This year, given that I'm struggling with medical bills and no job, I wondering WHY SHOULD I BOTHER?!?!?!?!?
Bones
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Yeah, there are some men who don't seem interested in gifts. Others are. If you have one of the former "Why bother? :lol:
xxxoo Ami
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Yeah, there are some men who don't seem interested in gifts. Others are. If you have one of the former "Why bother? :lol:
xxxoo Ami
The thing that is so confusing is that if he's not interested in gifts, why ask for a gift in the first place? :?
Bones
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Well, maybe he thinks he should ask for one but doesn't really care in his heart. What do you think? Ami
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Well, maybe he thinks he should ask for one but doesn't really care in his heart. What do you think? Ami
With the brains, or lack of one, with some men, who knows??????? :?
Bones
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Hey Bones,
What if you said or wrote a note to him:
BF, you know, one of the things about giving a gift, is that it makes the giver happy to see the other person enjoy it. I never feel that way, because your only response is to look at it, say Thanks, set it down, and that's that.
Do you actually feel happy when I give you something? If you do, would you be willing to tell me what makes you happy about it, or what you like about a gift?
If it's not really doing anything for you, then since money is so tight this year, should we skip the gift giving?
I really would like to give you something if you'd like receiving it. But if it is kind of empty, I'm okay skipping it.
Let me know what you'd like to do.
Hops
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Hey Bones,
What if you said or wrote a note to him:
BF, you know, one of the things about giving a gift, is that it makes the giver happy to see the other person enjoy it. I never feel that way, because your only response is to look at it, say Thanks, set it down, and that's that.
Do you actually feel happy when I give you something? If you do, would you be willing to tell me what makes you happy about it, or what you like about a gift?
If it's not really doing anything for you, then since money is so tight this year, should we skip the gift giving?
I really would like to give you something if you'd like receiving it. But if it is kind of empty, I'm okay skipping it.
Let me know what you'd like to do.
Hops
That's a good idea, Hops!
I'm going to try that.
Bones
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I haven't a clue why he would behave like this, but ... I don't think I'd keep on wasting my money. I think the "love languages" approach is the next thing I'd try --- for example, if he seems to appreciate deeds more, then offer to do something for him that he would appreciate (as his Christmas gift). If it bothers you not to have something for him under the tree, you could write down your offer and box it up ... I'm thinking though that I'd definitely tell him ahead of time that you noticed he doesn't seem to get a lot of joy out of Christmas presents and that you are trying this different approach this year.
I really hate wasting my money on things that are not appreciated or used. My children are the main culprits in my life ... I always buy them clothes for Christmas but it is getting to where I can't please any of them ... my taste is just too different. The boys (ages 12, 19, and 21) all like dark colors (black, gray, brown ... they are NOT "Goth" but for some reason gravitate to darks for their clothes) and I just can't do enough mental gymnastics to get enthusiastic about buying another dark, neutral shirt. The girl on principle only likes things SHE thought of first. :)
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I haven't a clue why he would behave like this, but ... I don't think I'd keep on wasting my money. I think the "love languages" approach is the next thing I'd try --- for example, if he seems to appreciate deeds more, then offer to do something for him that he would appreciate (as his Christmas gift). If it bothers you not to have something for him under the tree, you could write down your offer and box it up ... I'm thinking though that I'd definitely tell him ahead of time that you noticed he doesn't seem to get a lot of joy out of Christmas presents and that you are trying this different approach this year.
I really hate wasting my money on things that are not appreciated or used. My children are the main culprits in my life ... I always buy them clothes for Christmas but it is getting to where I can't please any of them ... my taste is just too different. The boys (ages 12, 19, and 21) all like dark colors (black, gray, brown ... they are NOT "Goth" but for some reason gravitate to darks for their clothes) and I just can't do enough mental gymnastics to get enthusiastic about buying another dark, neutral shirt. The girl on principle only likes things SHE thought of first. :)
For what it's worth, I think with kids that age, (12, 19 and 21),...it is to be expected as they are still thinking like kids for now. They haven't had the experiences yet that we have learned from. As for bf, the guy is pushing 60, like me, so I would have thought he would have learned SOMETHING by now! :?
Bones
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I like getting good-quality magazine subscriptions for kids, as opposite to the usual cultural junk as possible.
They LOVE getting their own mail, and it's a monthly or bi-monthly reminder that you thought about their mind, their thinking, with respect...
The Sun (anybody adolescent or older)
New Moon (for girls)
Mother Earth News (for any geeky kid)
ODE (the magazine "for intelligent optimists")
Utne Reader (for any teen)
love
Hops
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I like getting good-quality magazine subscriptions for kids, as opposite to the usual cultural junk as possible.
They LOVE getting their own mail, and it's a monthly or bi-monthly reminder that you thought about their mind, their thinking, with respect...
The Sun (anybody adolescent or older)
New Moon (for girls)
Mother Earth News (for any geeky kid)
ODE (the magazine "for intelligent optimists")
Utne Reader (for any teen)
love
Hops
Sounds good!!! :)
Bones
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I had an experience this morning that has me shaking my head and scratching it in bewilderment.
I was assisting with Stuff-A-Truck this morning with the Capital Area Food Bank. Every year, in December, the local TV station encourages people to donate non-perishable food items for the needy. This one couple dropped off a box of, (what we thought), were non-perishable food items for their donation. After they drove off and we started to put the box in the bin, something caught our eyes that made us take a closer look. The "donation" turned out to contain an opened bag of pasta that was closed with a rubber band and a half-used container of oatmeal!!!!!! :shock: The first thought that hit my brain when I saw what these people had "donated" was: "WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?!?!?!?" Needless to say, these half-used containers of food went straight into the TRASH!!!!! UGH!!!! :P
Bones
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You are right that you can't explain people's motives, sometimes! xxxooo Ami
PS LOTS of times.
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You are right that you can't explain people's motives, sometimes! xxxooo Ami
PS LOTS of times.
And these idiots are convinced, in their own minds, that they are SO GREAT for doing such a "good deed"! Typical N's!
Bones
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Just touching base for now.
Bones
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(((((((((((Bones))))) Hi Ya!!! xxxoo Ami
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(((((((((((Bones))))) Hi Ya!!! xxxoo Ami
Hi, ((((((((((((Ami)))))))))))))))))))))))
Bones
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:|
Bones
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How you today, Bones? xxoo Ami
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How you today, Bones? xxoo Ami
Feeling depressed today.
Bones
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Why, Bones?
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Why, Bones?
Seasonal Affective Disorder
Christmas
Not sleeping well
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Yes, it is sure easy to get depressed with all the NM baggage we carry around and then you add Life stuff on top :shock: :shock: :shock: . Sending you warm fuzzies! xxxoo Ami
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Yes, it is sure easy to get depressed with all the NM baggage we carry around and then you add Life stuff on top :shock: :shock: :shock: . Sending you warm fuzzies! xxxoo Ami
Thanks, Ami.
Bones
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Just checking in.
:|
Bones
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:|
Bones
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Okay, Bones.
We both got our snuggies on (those flappy humansandwichbags they sell on TV).
Mine's green, your's red.
So we're shuffling on up to the roof of our apartment building.
It's kind of cruddy up there and we're walking like two old ladies with loads in our diapers, but we'll get there.
And when we go out, the night sky is so deep and so black tonight that the stars are like somebody punched a million tiny holes in velvet and their light is the most amazingly pure and beautiful thing we've ever seen.
We just gape at it, kind of leaning on each other so we don't fall over, until we gets cricks in our necks.
The air is really cold but really feels clean.
Then we look out over the city, say one two three and yell at the top of our creaky lungs in unison:
Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah Humbugggggggggggggggggggggggg!
And go back inside for some hot chocolate.
love,
Hops
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Okay, Bones.
We both got our snuggies on (those flappy humansandwichbags they sell on TV).
Mine's green, your's red.
So we're shuffling on up to the roof of our apartment building.
It's kind of cruddy up there and we're walking like two old ladies with loads in our diapers, but we'll get there.
And when we go out, the night sky is so deep and so black tonight that the stars are like somebody punched a million tiny holes in velvet and their light is the most amazingly pure and beautiful thing we've ever seen.
We just gape at it, kind of leaning on each other so we don't fall over, until we gets cricks in our necks.
The air is really cold but really feels clean.
Then we look out over the city, say one two three and yell at the top of our creaky lungs in unison:
Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah Humbugggggggggggggggggggggggg!
And go back inside for some hot chocolate.
love,
Hops
:lol:
Bones
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Hi ((((Bones))))) xxxoo Ami
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Hi ((((Bones))))) xxxoo Ami
Hi, ((((((((((((((((((((((Ami)))))))))))))))))))))
Bones
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When I read the first letter in this advice column, my first thought is that the letter-writer is dealing with a Narcissist.
What do you think?
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/and-happy-holidays-to-you-too.html
Bones
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Snowed in today. :|
Bones
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Sounds like an N (((Bonesie))))). Is it cozy being snowed in? Ami
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((((((Bones))))))) have a peaceful nurturing non-holiday! You are not alone.... Just remember, there is a lot of sadness behind the drunk cheer this time of year. You've brought cheer to this forum just by being yourself. Not many people can say that.
Swimmer:)
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Sounds like an N (((Bonesie))))). Is it cozy being snowed in? Ami
Thanks, ((((((((((((((((Ami)))))))))))))))))))))
Not really cozy as feeling cooped up.
Bones
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((((((Bones))))))) have a peaceful nurturing non-holiday! You are not alone.... Just remember, there is a lot of sadness behind the drunk cheer this time of year. You've brought cheer to this forum just by being yourself. Not many people can say that.
Swimmer:)
Thanks, Swimmer :)
Bones
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Sounds like an N (((Bonesie))))). Is it cozy being snowed in? Ami
Thanks, ((((((((((((((((Ami)))))))))))))))))))))
Not really cozy as feeling cooped up.
Bones
I agree with Swimmer. You bring joy to this Board and we appreciate you!!! xxooo Ami
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Sounds like an N (((Bonesie))))). Is it cozy being snowed in? Ami
Thanks, ((((((((((((((((Ami)))))))))))))))))))))
Not really cozy as feeling cooped up.
Bones
I agree with Swimmer. You bring joy to this Board and we appreciate you!!! xxooo Ami
Thanks, Ami.
Bones
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In reading today's advice column:
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20091231
I can SO-O-O relate to the first two letters because they both remind me of the way NDoofus behaved before I finally went NC!!!!
Bones
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Yesterday evening, while bf was doing his weekly laundry at my place, we were watching the DVD of "Enchanted". (He was the one who picked it out of all the DVDs I have managed to collect.) At first he thought it was going to be a dumb "chick flick" fairy tale type of movie until the plot twists and parodies got started! By the end, he was howling with laughter at the various in-jokes and parodies of every fairy tale that we had grown up with!
As I was watching it, the thought occurred to me regarding the evil villainess of the movie, "Narissa". It sunk in that she is a Narcissist. Then it DAWNED ON ME that the NAME of the villainess, Narissa, is actually a PLAY on the word of Narcissist!!!! :shock:
Bones
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:|
Bones
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Hi Ya ((((Bones))))) xxoo Ami
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Hi Ya ((((Bones))))) xxoo Ami
Morning, (((((((((((((Ami))))))))))))))))))))
Bones
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:|
Bones
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I am NOT in a very good mood this morning!
I just got word that one of my young cousins died right before Christmas! He was only 31 years old.
Bones
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How?
-
How?
I don't know yet.
I just received the obituary but it doesn't mention the cause of death.
Bones
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I am sorry ((((Bones)))). xxxoo Ami
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I am sorry ((((Bones)))). xxxoo Ami
Thanks, ((((((((((Ami))))))))))))
Bones
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:(
Bones
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Good Morning ((Bones))) xxoo Ami
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Good Morning ((Bones))) xxoo Ami
Morning, (((((Ami))))
Bones
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:(
I had put up a few Christmas decorations a few days ago and have now taken them down as I don't want any reminders of the fiasco yesterday. The idiot turns up, on Christmas Day, yelling "Ho Ho Ho!" and dumps down a sack full of DIRTY LAUNDRY?!?!?!?!? Just Great! What I get for Christmas is looking at his dirty underwear going into the washing machine!
BTW, he also made a BIG production of bringing "Christmas Dinner" which was FROZEN SOLID and he didn't want to wait around for it to cook so.....NO CHRISTMAS DINNER!!!!! He thought the whole thing was SO FUNNY and giggled the whole time he was here!
HE'S AN IDIOT AND A STUPID A$$H*LE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :P
Bones
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Is the idiot your b/f? Ami
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Is the idiot your b/f? Ami
Unfortunately!
He's a Ph.D. with NO BRAINS!!!!!! :P
Bones
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BTW,
He showed up yesterday to take care of his birds and NEVER noticed the absence of Christmas decorations! :P
Bones
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What is his PHd in?
-
What is his PHd in?
His PhD is in Solar Physics. He's a Clueless Rocket Scientist! :P
Bones
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Oh man. When you say"What do you think you are a rocket scientist, he can say "Yes" :lol: :lol: :lol: Ami
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Oh man. When you say"What do you think you are a rocket scientist, he can say "Yes" :lol: :lol: :lol: Ami
Yup!
Bones
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I think he's finally beginning to get the sense that I'm NOT happy with the way things are going.
Bones
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What specifically? Ami
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What specifically? Ami
He showed up yesterday with TWO chocolate bars, a pumpkin pie AND an apple pie!
Bones
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Yeah That sounds like my H getting me a baseball cap for my Birthday :lol: :lol: :lol: Ami
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Yeah That sounds like my H getting me a baseball cap for my Birthday :lol: :lol: :lol: Ami
He also announced that he is giving me Season One of Classic Star Trek (1966) for a belated Christmas present. (He doesn't seem to get it that you're supposed to wrap it first and give it as a SURPRISE!)
Bones
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Had a bit of an awkward situation a little while ago.
I had to go to the post office to take care of a few errands and I encountered the husband of NDoofus waiting in the same line as I was. The mother with Alzheimer's is still holding her own but NDoofus' sister is NOT doing well at all. It appears that the sister has cancer of BOTH the stomach and esophagus plus it appears that the cancer has spread to her liver. She now has a J-Peg as she is no longer able to eat and a catheter to drain off the excess fluids that tend to accumulate. She's still living in her mother's house and nurses from a nearby hospice come out to assist her. (I don't blame the sister for NOT wanting to stay with NDoofus and her husband because NDoofus would DRIVE HER BONKERS with her NON-STOP DITHERING!!!!)
I get the feeling that the husband is not aware of the way NDoofus behaved like a total A$$ with me and I was not about to discuss the details in the middle of the post office with so many strangers standing within earshot. He kept asking me to call NDoofus and I kept politely demurring. (I do NOT want to re-open THAT can of worms!) It was an awkward encounter all the way around.
Bones
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Had a bit of an awkward situation a little while ago.
I had to go to the post office to take care of a few errands and I encountered the husband of NDoofus waiting in the same line as I was. The mother with Alzheimer's is still holding her own but NDoofus' sister is NOT doing well at all. It appears that the sister has cancer of BOTH the stomach and esophagus plus it appears that the cancer has spread to her liver. She now has a J-Peg as she is no longer able to eat and a catheter to drain off the excess fluids that tend to accumulate. She's still living in her mother's house and nurses from a nearby hospice come out to assist her. (I don't blame the sister for NOT wanting to stay with NDoofus and her husband because NDoofus would DRIVE HER BONKERS with her NON-STOP DITHERING!!!!)
I get the feeling that the husband is not aware of the way NDoofus behaved like a total A$$ with me and I was not about to discuss the details in the middle of the post office with so many strangers standing within earshot. He kept asking me to call NDoofus and I kept politely demurring. (I do NOT want to re-open THAT can of worms!) It was an awkward encounter all the way around.
Bones
The H's seem the last one to know with N's :? :?. Ami
PS With your B/f, sometimes the scientific types are not too sensitive with emotions. It seems like that is how many of them are.
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Bones, your description of your bf reminds me of a seminar on Asperger's syndrome I once attended. The lecturer said that the prevalence of the disorder depends on who you ask, ranging from "very rare" to "half the engineers at Xerox." Ha! Since the major impairment in Asperger's is social understanding, I thought it appropriate to mention that comment ... everybody in the room laughed when he said it because we all know an engineer or other scientific type who is socially clueless.
-
Had a bit of an awkward situation a little while ago.
I had to go to the post office to take care of a few errands and I encountered the husband of NDoofus waiting in the same line as I was. The mother with Alzheimer's is still holding her own but NDoofus' sister is NOT doing well at all. It appears that the sister has cancer of BOTH the stomach and esophagus plus it appears that the cancer has spread to her liver. She now has a J-Peg as she is no longer able to eat and a catheter to drain off the excess fluids that tend to accumulate. She's still living in her mother's house and nurses from a nearby hospice come out to assist her. (I don't blame the sister for NOT wanting to stay with NDoofus and her husband because NDoofus would DRIVE HER BONKERS with her NON-STOP DITHERING!!!!)
I get the feeling that the husband is not aware of the way NDoofus behaved like a total A$$ with me and I was not about to discuss the details in the middle of the post office with so many strangers standing within earshot. He kept asking me to call NDoofus and I kept politely demurring. (I do NOT want to re-open THAT can of worms!) It was an awkward encounter all the way around.
Bones
The H's seem the last one to know with N's :? :?. Ami
PS With your B/f, sometimes the scientific types are not too sensitive with emotions. It seems like that is how many of them are.
Thanks, Ami.
That sounds about right on both things.
Bones
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Bones, your description of your bf reminds me of a seminar on Asperger's syndrome I once attended. The lecturer said that the prevalence of the disorder depends on who you ask, ranging from "very rare" to "half the engineers at Xerox." Ha! Since the major impairment in Asperger's is social understanding, I thought it appropriate to mention that comment ... everybody in the room laughed when he said it because we all know an engineer or other scientific type who is socially clueless.
Thanks, HoP.
Ironically enough, he and I took an online Aspie Quiz. My score indicated that I am most likely the Aspie while his indicated that he is most likely the NT. So that confuses me even more that an NT could be socially clueless?????????????
Bones
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I think that the point the speaker was making is that some people see the autism spectrum around every corner --- to the point of "diagnosing" the engineer types that don't care about the social niceties and never really bothered to learn!
On the other hand, I have a dear friend who has made it for 25 years as a pastor, despite having Asperger's. He just found other ways to show people he cared (he has kind of a monotone voice and kind of an impassive face). When we were in college, I got tendonitis in both hips and was incapacitated ... my roommate went to the college cafeteria and pleaded for me a ride to the dr. Guess who volunteered? Yep, my "stoic", "Asperger" classmate.
So, if I had to explain how your bf can be more clueless than you (assuming that you do have some kind of Asperger's tendencies), I'd say it's because you are probably interested in learning.
I'm sorry if my last post seemed rude. It didn't occur to me that you might be suffering from the difficulties that come from Asperger's. You might have a hard time with social situations but I would have never guessed that from your posts. I'll try to be better at being sensitive to others from now on.
Are we okay with one another?
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I think that the point the speaker was making is that some people see the autism spectrum around every corner --- to the point of "diagnosing" the engineer types that don't care about the social niceties and never really bothered to learn!
On the other hand, I have a dear friend who has made it for 25 years as a pastor, despite having Asperger's. He just found other ways to show people he cared (he has kind of a monotone voice and kind of an impassive face). When we were in college, I got tendonitis in both hips and was incapacitated ... my roommate went to the college cafeteria and pleaded for me a ride to the dr. Guess who volunteered? Yep, my "stoic", "Asperger" classmate.
So, if I had to explain how your bf can be more clueless than you (assuming that you do have some kind of Asperger's tendencies), I'd say it's because you are probably interested in learning.
I'm sorry if my last post seemed rude. It didn't occur to me that you might be suffering from the difficulties that come from Asperger's. You might have a hard time with social situations but I would have never guessed that from your posts. I'll try to be better at being sensitive to others from now on.
Are we okay with one another?
Sure, we're okay with one another here.
Regarding Asperger's, the puzzle pieces finally started to fit together for me a couple of years ago regarding a LOT of various difficulties that I've struggled with since birth. (Dealing with an NWomb-Donor Rage-aholic didn't help matters any!) Since I'm pushing 60, I haven't been able to get an official diagnosis because there seems to be a mindset, among the "trained" professionals that only kids born after 1994 could have it. HELLO!!!! Hans Asperger wrote about this BEFORE I was even born and I'm sure there are several other Baby Boomers who have lived with undiagnosed Asperger's all along! Plus, the Aspie groups have been trying to get these same professionals to open their eyes to the fact that these kids GROW UP TO BECOME ADULTS!!!! (I'll get off my soapbox for now!)
Bones
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It seems I'm getting mixed signals from bf, like he takes one step forward then two steps back. It just doesn't make any sense.
On Tuesday, we went to the National Zoo to see the Giant Pandas. Unfortunately, it was one of the COLDEST days of the winter, which set off every old injury that I've ever had! I had to sit down, several times, due to the pain, but I kept getting the impression that bf had NO comprehension of what I was struggling with! Then he bought me a souvenir baby Panda that was embroidered with Tai Shan's name on it. (We did have a laugh when I spotted a packet of paper made from Recycled Panda Poo! :lol:)
On Wednesday, he gave me the First Season DVDs of Star Trek, The Original Series (digitally remastered). But whenever I attempted to talk about what we would be doing on New Year's, all he would continue to say was: "I dunno..." I told him we need to COMMUNICATE!!!!! Unfortunately, he doesn't. I feel exhausted trying to do ALL THE COMMUNICATING!!!!!
Bones
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Dear Bones
I think he is just a scientific type who is low on the emotional relatedness scale. I know many people who I can only go so far with emotionally. They are just not wired for the attention to emotional responses.
I think there is a concept of emotional IQ which talks about this.
He is probably low on this and high on regular IQ. xxoo Ami
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Dear Bones
I think he is just a scientific type who is low on the emotional relatedness scale. I know many people who I can only go so far with emotionally. They are just not wired for the attention to emotional responses.
I think there is a concept of emotional IQ which talks about this.
He is probably low on this and high on regular IQ. xxoo Ami
That makes sense.
It seems he's more comfortable with quadratic equations and solar physics.
Bones
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Yes---I don't think it is personal. Someone who can do all those amazing scientific things just may not be that good with touchy feely things.
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Yes---I don't think it is personal. Someone who can do all those amazing scientific things just may not be that good with touchy feely things.
Intellectually, I understand and, at the same time, it pushes a LOT of buttons and triggers!
Bones
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:|
Bones
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We were not seen as kids and so we REALLY need people to see us. Your b/f does not often have access to his emotions so YOU are not seen, yet again.
In a way, you are going through the painof your childhood over and over.again.
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We were not seen as kids and so we REALLY need people to see us. Your b/f does not often have access to his emotions so YOU are not seen, yet again.
In a way, you are going through the painof your childhood over and over.again.
Thanks, Ami.
It feels like I'm not even seen as a human being by him.
Bones
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Yes Bones. It probably mirrors what we are used to as children of N's.No one saw us. It is so powerful when someone sees us. I think that craving sex can be a craving to be seen.
I was thinking about a certain poster who came on and had all the woman on the Board crazy. I hope I don't have to name names cuz he is gone but I was wondering WHAT he had.
I think it was the sense that he could see you.
My H went to Vassar and one guy could seduce any girl. It must have been the ability to either truly see or appear to see them.
Ami
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Yes Bones. It probably mirrors what we are used to as children of N's.No one saw us. It is so powerful when someone sees us. I think that craving sex can be a craving to be seen.
I was thinking about a certain poster who came on and had all the woman on the Board crazy. I hope I don't have to name names cuz he is gone but I was wondering WHAT he had.
I think it was the sense that he could see you.
My H went to Vassar and one guy could seduce any girl. It must have been the ability to either truly see or appear to see them.
Ami
That would make a lot of sense. I often wonder if the guy ever really sees the girl or just simply puts on an act for his own self gratification.
Bones
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Well, he puts on a good act :lol: :lol: :lol: Ami
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Well, he puts on a good act :lol: :lol: :lol: Ami
That they do!
Bones
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Bones, you said that your bf came out as an "NT" ... I forgot to ask what that is. I was assuming the N stood for Narcissist but not sure what the T was for.
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Bones, you said that your bf came out as an "NT" ... I forgot to ask what that is. I was assuming the N stood for Narcissist but not sure what the T was for.
Hi, HoP.
In Aspie-Speak, NT means Neuro-Typical which indicates that Neuro-Typicals are not Aspies. Aspies might be thought of as being "Aliens on the Wrong Planet".
Bones
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Oh, yeah! I have heard a friend of mine use the phrase neurotypical. She has twin boys with full blown autism ... but with the intense therapies and work they have done at home, she says that the schools no longer know what to do with them because they have accomplished everything the schools usually aim for.
I am beginning my internship in January, and the first half is at a state hospital that only deals with adults (the second half will be with kids exclusively). However, I have been encouraged that the psychology dept. at the state hospital is very interested in my knowledge about the autism spectrum, because they recognize that a lot of their patient population may be on the spectrum, and they need knowledge in order to better help those parents. People that work exclusively with adults are not likely to know much about the autism spectrum, unfortunately, but I am always encouraged when I meet those who are curious and interested.
Schizophrenia, once it is treated, can make a person seem like they are on the autism spectrum, but I'm thinking the opposite could be true ... somebody that has an undiagnosed autism spectrum disorder AND schizophrenia, could look very different from someone with schizophrenia only ... and we need to know how to differentiate the two so we can take everything into account.
Another friend of mine, who probably is on the spectrum herself AND has an Asperger's son, has a ranch/treatment center for people on the spectrum and their families. She says that the latest research suggests that schizophrenia and the autism spectrum may have a common root (at the microbiology/chemistry/cellular level) that takes different pathways. Which may explain why once the diagnosis is missed in childhood (long before most people will have a first episode of schizophrenia), it is so hard to untangle the two things.
You bring up a very interesting point that I would love to know more about someday: The interaction between the disabilities of the autism spectrum, and narcissism. For example, say if you had a grandmother that had Asperger's disorder. Then, she has a daughter that is neurotypical but the grandmother was unable to model how to understand other people, and was unable to completely understand her daughter's feelings. Could that result in the daughter having narcissistic difficulties, although she might be neurotypical and technically capable of reading other people? And how does that affect the granddaughter down the line, who is born with the difficulties associated with Asperger's and raised with a narcissistic mother?
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Oh, yeah! I have heard a friend of mine use the phrase neurotypical. She has twin boys with full blown autism ... but with the intense therapies and work they have done at home, she says that the schools no longer know what to do with them because they have accomplished everything the schools usually aim for.
I am beginning my internship in January, and the first half is at a state hospital that only deals with adults (the second half will be with kids exclusively). However, I have been encouraged that the psychology dept. at the state hospital is very interested in my knowledge about the autism spectrum, because they recognize that a lot of their patient population may be on the spectrum, and they need knowledge in order to better help those parents. People that work exclusively with adults are not likely to know much about the autism spectrum, unfortunately, but I am always encouraged when I meet those who are curious and interested.
Schizophrenia, once it is treated, can make a person seem like they are on the autism spectrum, but I'm thinking the opposite could be true ... somebody that has an undiagnosed autism spectrum disorder AND schizophrenia, could look very different from someone with schizophrenia only ... and we need to know how to differentiate the two so we can take everything into account.
Another friend of mine, who probably is on the spectrum herself AND has an Asperger's son, has a ranch/treatment center for people on the spectrum and their families. She says that the latest research suggests that schizophrenia and the autism spectrum may have a common root (at the microbiology/chemistry/cellular level) that takes different pathways. Which may explain why once the diagnosis is missed in childhood (long before most people will have a first episode of schizophrenia), it is so hard to untangle the two things.
You bring up a very interesting point that I would love to know more about someday: The interaction between the disabilities of the autism spectrum, and narcissism. For example, say if you had a grandmother that had Asperger's disorder. Then, she has a daughter that is neurotypical but the grandmother was unable to model how to understand other people, and was unable to completely understand her daughter's feelings. Could that result in the daughter having narcissistic difficulties, although she might be neurotypical and technically capable of reading other people? And how does that affect the granddaughter down the line, who is born with the difficulties associated with Asperger's and raised with a narcissistic mother?
Hi, HoP.
I'm not quite sure how to answer your question as each person on the Autism Spectrum is unique. There is a saying that when you have met one person on the Spectrum, you have only met ONE person on the Spectrum. If you ever get the opportunity to meet Dr. Temple Grandin, you would probably learn that her Spectrum qualities would be VERY different from mine. I do have a LOT of empathy but I struggle with social cues and sensory overload, sometimes to the point where I have to be TOTALLY alone in order to recharge my "batteries" otherwise I can and do have occasional emotional meltdowns. I have been labeled "odd", "retarded", "stupid", "weird", "crazy", and other negative things because I don't "fit" the normal neurotypical standard. Interestingly, I've never been given a formal official diagnosis of being on the Spectrum because the diagnosis didn't make it into the DSM until the early 1990's, when I was already well into middle age. Undiagnosed Baby Boomers have been largely ignored so people like me constantly struggle to "muddle through" somehow. Unfortunately, others get to the point where they become so discouraged that they have given up and committed suicide, like the daughter of Burt Bacharach and Angie Dickinson.
Bones
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Thanks, Bones. I'm sorry though that you have had to live through all that negativity. And I am so glad that you haven't given up "muddling through." I guess that's what all of us, neurotypical or otherwise, do, huh.
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Thanks, Bones. I'm sorry though that you have had to live through all that negativity. And I am so glad that you haven't given up "muddling through." I guess that's what all of us, neurotypical or otherwise, do, huh.
Thanks, HoP.
I think all of us, here, find ways to "muddle through" somehow.
Bones
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Wanted to post an observation....
Recently, I was given Season One of the Classic Star Trek TV series and was watching the episode, "The Squire of Gothos". I've seen it before as a kid and watching it again, through the eyes of an adult, I couldn't help but notice that the Squire, Trelane, is a NARCISSIST COMPLETE WITH HIS OWN MIRROR!!!!! :shock:
Bones
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Things are very different when you watch them as adults. That is for sure! xxoo Ami
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Things are very different when you watch them as adults. That is for sure! xxoo Ami
Also, I didn't know about NPD then.
Bones
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:|
Bones
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Hi Ya(( Bones))! Ami
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Hi Ya(( Bones))! Ami
Hi, ((Ami))
Bones
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This URL contains a link to a YouTube documentary about Autism Spectrum Disorder and Asperger's:
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt114120.html
Bones
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Hi HeartofPilgrimage,
You bring up a very interesting point that I would love to know more about someday: The interaction between the disabilities of the autism spectrum, and narcissism. For example, say if you had a grandmother that had Asperger's disorder. Then, she has a daughter that is neurotypical but the grandmother was unable to model how to understand other people, and was unable to completely understand her daughter's feelings. Could that result in the daughter having narcissistic difficulties, although she might be neurotypical and technically capable of reading other people? And how does that affect the granddaughter down the line, who is born with the difficulties associated with Asperger's and raised with a narcissistic mother?
I just wanted to say how much I appreciate the warm, open hearted and kind way you think about your craft. (The above paragraph is one many examples I've noticed where your compassion and thoughtfulness are at the forefront of your thinking). I grew up in a dysfunctional family headed by an unemotional mom who seemed not to care about anything but 'doing'. As best I'm able to determine, her mothering style was the source of 7 years of unspeakable pain in my life. During the first half of that 7 years, all I could do was blame, blame, blame. Somewhere in the second half my thinking began to change from placing blame on her to slowly accepting that she did what she knew how to do. Lighter (I think she is Mo2 now) says something I truly believe. She says that if people knew better they would do better. I believe that about my mom. There's much that she wasn't able to give me emotionally. In the end though, she taught me a very important lesson. She taught me not to look down my skinny nose at others whose struggle is different from mine. I love it that there are people with hearts like yours 'in the field' of psychology who don't slice and dice people (I know there's a better way to say it, but I'm going to say) along party lines.
God bless you.
tt
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Bones
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Good Morning (((Bones))) Ami
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Good Morning (((Bones))) Ami
Morning (((Ami)))
Bones
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Tired
Bones
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Happy New Year to my hero, Bones!
And warmest admiration and love to rest'a'y'all too....Pilgrim, TT, everybody...
xo
Hops
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Happy New Year to my hero, Bones!
And warmest admiration and love to rest'a'y'all too....Pilgrim, TT, everybody...
xo
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
Same to you.
Bones
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Thanks, Hops! I got into psychology late in life ... I feel that I have had the best of both worlds. First I got to stay home with my children and now I get to use a lot of what I learned during my stay=at=home years in a career! But right now I am working on trying to conjure up a little compassion for the Ns in my own life ... ironic how I really can feel for Ns and other difficult types if I don't have to invite them to Sunday dinner.
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Hi, HoP.
Did you get a chance to look at the like I posted from Wrong Planet?
Bones
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Bones, yes, I did and thought it was really well done. I also agree, at least to a certain extent, that autism (and related disorders) are more about differences than about "diagnoses." One of the things I realize as I move along in the psychology field, is that people without some kind of "mental" or "behavioral" difference are really few and far between. I get really depressed. My dad was dyslexic. One of my sons struggles with anxiety. Etc. etc. etc. ... my mind works by making really fast connections between really different things, which sometimes means that I am constantly "diagnosing" my friends and family! But I recognize that if something doesn't interfere with you living your life and being happy, then it's not a problem. Well, OK, narcissism is a problem even when the Ns are happy because nobody else around them is happy ... but if they could live in a bubble with no other people then it wouldn't be a problem! And, they run people off and might even drive other people to shoot them, so that is a problem. I guess I just disproved my own statement. Hmm.
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Bones, yes, I did and thought it was really well done. I also agree, at least to a certain extent, that autism (and related disorders) are more about differences than about "diagnoses." One of the things I realize as I move along in the psychology field, is that people without some kind of "mental" or "behavioral" difference are really few and far between. I get really depressed. My dad was dyslexic. One of my sons struggles with anxiety. Etc. etc. etc. ... my mind works by making really fast connections between really different things, which sometimes means that I am constantly "diagnosing" my friends and family! But I recognize that if something doesn't interfere with you living your life and being happy, then it's not a problem. Well, OK, narcissism is a problem even when the Ns are happy because nobody else around them is happy ... but if they could live in a bubble with no other people then it wouldn't be a problem! And, they run people off and might even drive other people to shoot them, so that is a problem. I guess I just disproved my own statement. Hmm.
:)
I guess my own approach is the Live and Let Live philosophy. I have strong reason to suspect that I am an undiagnosed Aspie as face-to-face social situations are OFTEN DRAINING to me. Can you imagine NEVER being allowed to be yourself because your differences are considered "weird" by Neuro-typicals? It's like being forced to hide in a closet 24/7 and the claustrophobia eventually starts to build until an emotional meltdown occurs. Then the labeling and ostracism gets worse.
Bones
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Bones
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Kids can be so cruel. They don't tolerate anybody's differences, do they. What is it about us humans that makes us so eager to all be alike? We give lip service to respecting and tolerating differences, but in the end the group always tends to ostracize differences. :(
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Kids can be so cruel. They don't tolerate anybody's differences, do they. What is it about us humans that makes us so eager to all be alike? We give lip service to respecting and tolerating differences, but in the end the group always tends to ostracize differences. :(
And it's not just kids. Adults often do the same thing as well. I think that's where kids learn intolerance of differences when they see it modeled by their parents. I've observed this in my own home when NWomb-Donor taught NGCB to follow her lead in everything she did to me because I was "different" and, therefore, "INFERIOR" in her opinion. She did NOT want any INFERIOR thing contaminating HER house!
Bones
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I think adults are the same as kids. If you believe a Biblical view, it is the flesh. We all have awful parts to us---ICK. Ami
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Bones
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Wow, this post had a lot of feedback! I am not sure if I responded to this before, but here I go....................
Whenever NM stays overnight at my house (usually during the holidays), I make sure I lock my bedroom door. Why? Because she won't think twice about walking in on me, whether I am showering or sitting on the toilet!!!! Talk about NO BOUNDARIES!!!
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Wow, this post had a lot of feedback! I am not sure if I responded to this before, but here I go....................
Whenever NM stays overnight at my house (usually during the holidays), I make sure I lock my bedroom door. Why? Because she won't think twice about walking in on me, whether I am showering or sitting on the toilet!!!! Talk about NO BOUNDARIES!!!
Don't ya just HATE that they refuse to respect boundaries?!?!?!?!?!?
Bones
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Attempted to have a conversation with bf last night regarding my current situation.
I've pointed out that:
(a) he works full-time, even overtime, and that he has to be earning MORE PER WEEK than I'm receiving in my pension in a month;
(b) I was recently informed, by the Office of Personnel Management, that I will NOT be receiving a cost of living adjustment to my monthly Civil Service pension;
(c) BOTH my mortgage payment and condo fees INCREASED which takes most, if not all, of my monthly pension;
(d) my medical bills continue to INCREASE in spite of the fact that I'm also paying for health insurance;
(e) I'm in the process of trying to refinance my mortgage to attempt to lower the payments. However, the closing costs will leave me NOTHING for food and medicine or other bills until my next pension check arrives for February especially since the bank has been jerking me around since this past August LOSING my paperwork at least TWICE, forcing me to pay faxxing costs that I really could NOT afford to send the required paperwork AGAIN and AGAIN;
(f) I have NO savings account left as it is now DEPLETED and GONE;
(g) I CANNOT touch my Traditional IRA until I'm 70 1/2 and I'm too young to apply for Social Security and/or Medicare/Medicaid. There's a STRONG possibility that I may not be able to qualify for Social Security anyway because I worked so long under the Civil Service Retirement System and my pension might be slightly too much to allow me to even qualify for Medicare/Medicaid. I've already attempted to apply for SSI and SSDI only to be informed that I can NEVER qualify for either of them because my pension is slightly too high. I told him that the bottom line is that he needs to help more given my current situation and NOT being self-employed yet. I also pointed out that IF my business does manage to get off the ground, there is NO guarantee that I will be able to earn enough to cover all necessary expenses every month. I've already been placed on the various budget plans for utilities such as electricity and natural gas but they also continue to increase. I told him that I have NO idea where else I can turn to for any kind of public assistance given my situation as my pension is just enough to disqualify me from various programs but it is NOT enough to cover my required living expenses of keeping a roof over my head, food on the table, and taking care of my various health issues which require EXPENSIVE medications. Vocational Rehabilitation has not been able to find any appropriate employment for me because of my age and multiple disabilities in spite of searching and applying for any job that I thought I could do. (Like one Voc. Rehab. counselor pointed out to me: "Age discrimination happens but you can't prove it!)
His PhD in Solar Physics response?
"Uhhhhhhh.....what pension?" :?
I feel as if I'm pounding my head against a brick wall!!!!! :P :evil:
Bones
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Oh, Bones. I feel for you. You are so smart and capable, I know this whole situation is so frustrating.
Are there good things you get out of your relationship with the Absentminded Physicist?
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Oh, Bones. I feel for you. You are so smart and capable, I know this whole situation is so frustrating.
Are there good things you get out of your relationship with the Absentminded Physicist?
Sometimes.....he took me to the Zoo last week to see the Giant Pandas and the small mammal exhibits. He knows I like animals.
Bones
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Bones, I'm sorry, hon.
You are so eager to work it's a damn shame it's been so hard to find something.
((((((((Bones))))))))
Hops
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B/f sounds sweet ,Bones. I remember you writing about him from the beginning if my time on the Board. I know he might not be the most emotionally sensitive person but he seems like he cares a lot for you! Ami
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It also sounds like he's more clueless than uncaring. I can live with clueless but I couldn't live with uncaring.
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Bones, I'm sorry, hon.
You are so eager to work it's a damn shame it's been so hard to find something.
((((((((Bones))))))))
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
I find it's impossible to find anything appropriate where people are willing and able to accept an Aspie as a human being. I get so sick and tired of constantly being told: "You're a poor fit! Get out!"
Bones
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B/f sounds sweet ,Bones. I remember you writing about him from the beginning if my time on the Board. I know he might not be the most emotionally sensitive person but he seems like he cares a lot for you! Ami
At times, it feels like I get mixed messages from him to the point that I don't know WHAT to think anymore!
Bones
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It also sounds like he's more clueless than uncaring. I can live with clueless but I couldn't live with uncaring.
Clueless sounds like an apt description! He tends to be oblivious until something FINALLY hits him in the face! Then his usual reaction is something like "HUH????????????????"
I've watched him do the same thing to other people, including his neighbors, and he just doesn't seem to GET IT until the consequences bite him in the A$$!
Bones
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Tried, again, to communicate last night about my current situation. Basically got the "blank stare", like "nobody's home". I feel as if I'm totally ALONE in face-to-face situations. Online communications are insufficient.
Bones
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I am sorry((( Bones))). It sounds really, really hard! xxxoo Ami
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I am sorry((( Bones))). It sounds really, really hard! xxxoo Ami
It's FRUSTRATING!!!!!
Bones
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Yeah--really, really frustrating!!!!!! Ami
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Yeah--really, really frustrating!!!!!! Ami
Why does it seem that some men are so oblivious?
Bones
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Mr. Oblivious asked me to tell him what I needed grocery-wise so I sent him an e-mail, with the list of items I need, asking him to acknowledge receipt of said e-mail. Response? NOTHING! Then he showed up, last night, empty-handed except for HIS stuff for HIS birds! I asked him did he get the e-mail with the grocery list. He responds: "Yes. I'll get 'round to it later" while IGNORING the EMPTY refrigerator and EMPTY freezer!!!!! And he can't understand WHY I'm FRUSTRATED!!!!!! WTF??????????????????????????
Bones
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What did you say or do when he said he'd get around to it later?
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What did you say or do when he said he'd get around to it later?
I told him that I'm feeling FRUSTRATED about the situation!
Bones
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Good for you! Did he look at you blankly when you said that, or did he get what you were trying to tell him?
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Good for you! Did he look at you blankly when you said that, or did he get what you were trying to tell him?
Basically, I got the blank look and a repeat of "I'll get 'round to it later". He waited so late to show up that the grocery store was already closed.
Bones
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He brought me some groceries last night, after I had gone to bed. Then woke me up to tell me he had forgotten and left other groceries in his car. :?
Bones
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He showed up, empty-handed, last night.
When I questioned him about his statement about forgetting groceries in his car, he commented that it was "only corn for his birds". What he did bring was enough for only ONE day. I put my grocery list IN HIS HANDS and then he admitted that he didn't REALLY read the e-mail I had previously sent him with the grocery items! :?
Why BOTHER to ask me for a grocery list if he's not going to really look at it?
Bones
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Yes,an amateur doing grocery shopping can be very frustrating. Most men are not too good at it. I trained my boys to be great shoppers --even veggies :lol: :lol: :lol:. They were like old ladies! x o x o Ami
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Yes,an amateur doing grocery shopping can be very frustrating. Most men are not too good at it. I trained my boys to be great shoppers --even veggies :lol: :lol: :lol:. They were like old ladies! x o x o Ami
And he claims to be a vegetarian so you would think he would know how to shop for vegetables and vegetarian cuisine!
Bones
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Bones
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I don't think your guy will ever be the domestic type (((Bonesie)))))). I would not send him to the grocery store and expect much!
x o x o Ami
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I don't think your guy will ever be the domestic type (((Bonesie)))))). I would not send him to the grocery store and expect much!
x o x o Ami
I guess so. At the same time, it puts me at a disadvantage if I am unable to get out to the grocery store myself either because of finances or health or both.
Bones
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Yes Bones. I can see that! I am so very sorry for your current conditions! I wish I could help, my friend! x o x o Ami
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Yes Bones. I can see that! I am so very sorry for your current conditions! I wish I could help, my friend! x o x o Ami
Thanks, Ami!
Bones
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(((((( Bones))))))) Ami
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(((((( Bones))))))) Ami
((((((((((((Ami))))))))))))))
Bones
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Bones
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Hi Ya Kid
What's going on? x o Ami
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Hi Ya Kid
What's going on? x o Ami
Woke up feeling tired and achy.
Bones
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Oh I am sorry Bonesie :( .
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Oh I am sorry Bonesie :( .
It happens......
Bones
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I can't help but wonder if bf is a passive-aggressive OBLIVIOUS N?
I've told him REPEATEDLY that I don't like HIS cockroaches that he infested my house with and he will just stand there and ignore the roaches crawling right in front of him until I practically SHOVE his nose into the cockroaches crawling there!!! And he's supposed to have 20/20 vision!!!!!! Then he will attempt to joke "How do you know if they're MY cockroaches? Hee-Hee-Hee!"
YUCK!!!!!!
He just doesn't GET IT that I didn't have cockroaches until he brought his roach-infested bird cages into my house and turned the roaches loose! IDIOT!!!!!!! :P Then he "promises" to clean up. After he's "cleaned" and left, I discover bird food scattered all over the room where he keeps his birds and guess what's crawling all over the scattered food that he neglected to clean up? You guessed it! The cockroaches are having a FEEDING FRENZY over the food that he's SLOPPED EVERYWHERE in the room!!! I guess I have to STAND OVER HIM in order to MAKE HIM CLEAN THE PLACE PROPERLY!!!!!! DAMMIT!!!! :twisted:
Bones
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Last night I LITERALLY stood over him and directed him on how to CLEAN instead of half-a$$ing!
Bones
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And did he clean it? And if so, did he do a good job?
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And did he clean it? And if so, did he do a good job?
He cleaned most of it, then ran out of the cleaning supplies that he had with him. Then he asks me, "Do I need to bring more paper towels?" :? DUH!!!!!!
Bones
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Would it make a difference in your feelings if you knew for sure if he is being passive-aggressive or if he was truly living in a fog? In other words, would you either dump him or set stronger limits if you knew he was being passive aggressive but tolerate his cluelessness if it was just the "absent minded fog" thing going?
Even if he is just clueless, he is obviously extremely smart, and I still think he needs to use all those brains to figure out some of these things ... he might not be malicious but he is obviously frustrating you extremely.
Have you ever tried writing him a letter? You communicate so clearly and well in writing. Of course I have no idea how you communicate in person ... is it possible that growing up with an extremely N parent (or two) has made it hard to look somebody in the eye and be as clear as you are on the forum? I don't mean that as a criticism ... I just mean, if you are getting frustrated with him not getting the message in person, I KNOW FOR A FACT you are a great writer and can get your point across in writing. And he can read and reread to his heart's content, and can't claim you didn't say what you said, or claim you weren't clear, etc.
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Would it make a difference in your feelings if you knew for sure if he is being passive-aggressive or if he was truly living in a fog? In other words, would you either dump him or set stronger limits if you knew he was being passive aggressive but tolerate his cluelessness if it was just the "absent minded fog" thing going?
Even if he is just clueless, he is obviously extremely smart, and I still think he needs to use all those brains to figure out some of these things ... he might not be malicious but he is obviously frustrating you extremely.
Have you ever tried writing him a letter? You communicate so clearly and well in writing. Of course I have no idea how you communicate in person ... is it possible that growing up with an extremely N parent (or two) has made it hard to look somebody in the eye and be as clear as you are on the forum? I don't mean that as a criticism ... I just mean, if you are getting frustrated with him not getting the message in person, I KNOW FOR A FACT you are a great writer and can get your point across in writing. And he can read and reread to his heart's content, and can't claim you didn't say what you said, or claim you weren't clear, etc.
Thanks, HoP.
I have written some stuff to him. He also has some issues as well as I suspect that his father was an N. Bf often got bounced from one relative to another based on his father's mood of the moment, (e.g. "Do I feel like being a father today or would I rather chase skirt instead?") Financially, I need bf to pay rent to help me keep my head above water.
Bones
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Dear Bones
My sense of him is that he is a decent person but struggling with emotions . I think he cares for you but can not always express it in a way that you can feel it.
He does not seem to be an abusive type just not that "with it" all the time. After N damage, you have issues with emotions as we know.
Anyway, Sweetie. Those are just my feelings. Please compost what does not fit! x o x Ami
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Dear Bones
My sense of him is that he is a decent person but struggling with emotions . I think he cares for you but can not always express it in a way that you can feel it.
He does not seem to be an abusive type just not that "with it" all the time. After N damage, you have issues with emotions as we know.
Anyway, Sweetie. Those are just my feelings. Please compost what does not fit! x o x Ami
Thanks, Ami!
Bones
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He surprised me last night with a Star Trek trinket. I wasn't expecting that!
Bones
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That is sweet (((( Bonesie) He is a flawed human but loves you, I think! x o x Ami
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That is sweet (((( Bonesie) He is a flawed human but loves you, I think! x o x Ami
I think so. I had to practically chase him down to give him a "Thank You" kiss!
Bones
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Bones, that is very cute. I had an image of him giving you your gift, then running like a madman around the house as you chased him to give him a kiss ... kind of like I used to do with my sons when they were little :).
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Bones, that is very cute. I had an image of him giving you your gift, then running like a madman around the house as you chased him to give him a kiss ... kind of like I used to do with my sons when they were little :).
:) He WAS acting a bit like a little boy yesterday! :)
Bones
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We are all so broken Bones. Of course, an abusive guy is out of the pix but just a flawed guy is something else. Just my 2 cents.
x o x o Ami
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We are all so broken Bones. Of course, an abusive guy is out of the pix but just a flawed guy is something else. Just my 2 cents.
x o x o Ami
Yes. We all have our flaws because of being broken as children.
Bones
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Yes, for sure((( Bones))). How far we will get beyond our flaws, I don't know. x o x o Ami
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Yes, for sure((( Bones))). How far we will get beyond our flaws, I don't know. x o x o Ami
Good point!
Bones
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:|
Bones
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Hey (((Bonesie))))) x o x o Ami
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Hey (((Bonesie))))) x o x o Ami
Hey ((((((((((((Ami)))))))))))))))))
Bones
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We have our Good Morning "Hi" and our cup of coffee together! x o x o Ami
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We have our Good Morning "Hi" and our cup of coffee together! x o x o Ami
Yup!
Bones
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Got woke up by muscle spasms this morning. I think the weather is about to change to wintry mess! :P
Bones
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Good Morning ((((Bonesie))))
I got woken up by crazy thinking :lol:
Sorry you are not feeling well, Bones.
I am having coffee with mocha. today. What about you? x o x o Ami
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Good Morning ((((Bonesie))))
I got woken up by crazy thinking :lol:
Sorry you are not feeling well, Bones.
I am having coffee with mocha. today. What about you? x o x o Ami
Thanks, Ami.
I haven't fixed any coffee yet. I'm about to.
Bones
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Feeling a little tired this morning.
Bones
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Hi (((Bones))))
Sorry you feel a little under the weather! x o x o Ami
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Good Morning (((Bonesie))))) Missed my coffee with you, yesterday. Am having mocha chocolate right now. x o x o Ami
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Good Morning (((Bonesie))))) Missed my coffee with you, yesterday. Am having mocha chocolate right now. x o x o Ami
I just woke up. Haven't had coffee yet. It's really windy and rainy this morning.
Bones
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I was thinking over my experiences from assisting with the H1N1 clinic the other day and I suspect I encountered a couple of N's while there. I'm part of an emergency response organization where there is a required protocol of who is supposed to do what. This protocol was developed after a disaster, with a lot of fatalities, occurred in California during the 1970's because there was too much disorganization, duplications of efforts, the right hand not knowing what the left hand was doing, self-deployment, and too many people "doing their own thing". To prevent a catastrophe like that from happening again, there is now a system that ALL emergency responders, civilians, professionals, and volunteers MUST follow which includes reporting to ONE supervisor, after you have been assigned to a team, and keeping that supervisor apprised of what you are doing. (Does this make sense or is my description still a little fuzzy?) I don't know how many people are familiar with the Incident Command System or the National Incident Management System.
Anyway, after the supervisor in charge had given us our assignments and I started to take care of mine, TWO members approached me and wanted to take over what I was doing! (Self-deployment.) I asked them both if they had talked with our supervisor about what he had assigned them to do. They both said "No, but...." I stopped them both and explained that they need to discuss their assignments with the supervisor and that I don't need any help at this time as I was simply sorting through some papers. (I had a nice rhythm going which seems to be soothing for an Aspie, possibly my version of stimming.) They didn't want to talk to the supervisor and started to mess up the rhythm I had going and I got firm with BOTH of them and told them: "TALK WITH THE SUPERVISOR! THIS IS ALREADY COVERED!" One finally backed off and went to talk with the supervisor who gave her something else to do while she was waiting for clients to show up. The other one PERSISTED until the person I was teamed with also spoke up and told her that our task was being taken care of just fine and we did NOT need HER help! She walked off in a huff! (For most of the day, she just about drove us CRAZY doing her own thing, giving clients WRONG information that we had to correct REPEATEDLY, and this dingbat simply would NOT listen to ANYONE!) Finally, she announced that SHE was bored because there wasn't enough for her to do and she left. (Thank God!) It felt like the clinic operated more efficiently AFTER she left! Geez!
Bones
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Laugh of the Day! Trekkies ENJOY!!!! :lol:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4TxPSCfFro
This was sent to me by another Trekkie!
Bones
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:|
Bones
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I think I might have picked up a cold somewhere.
Bones
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Hi (((Bones)))
I am doing Yoga AFTER coffee :lol: . Sorry about your cold! x o x o Ami
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Hi (((Bones)))
I am doing Yoga AFTER coffee :lol: . Sorry about your cold! x o x o Ami
Morning, Ami and thanks!
BTW, did you get a chance to look at the YouTube link that I posted? Watching the Narcissist on the receiving end of the Vulcan grip is pretty FUNNY!!!! :lol:
Bones
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I will look , Bonesie. Take care of that cold! x o x o Ami
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I will look , Bonesie. Take care of that cold! x o x o Ami
Thanks, Ami!
Bones
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Hi Bones, I know it is January and therefore the usual time for viruses and stuff to get us, but it does seem that around here there are an especially large number of people running fever with upper respiratory bugs. My hubby hardly EVER gets sick (he's one of those weird people who believes he can just DECIDE not to get sick ... and I kind of believe him because he could always throughout our 24 years of marriage hold off getting sick til vacation, at which point he always was sick with something, even the kids noticed) ... anyway, even he has been really really ill with an upper respiratory infection of some sort ... he ran up to 102 degrees of fever several days.
I hope yours is quick and mild. However, since I know your childhood memories are not that great ... maybe I can share some of my comfort stuff with you and maybe you can feel comforted by osmosis ...
Hi-C (orange or fruit punch flavor)
potato soup (my version is basically very thin mashed potatoes with lots of butter, milk, salt and pepper ... no chicken brother or anything else)
Vicks Vap-o-rub (either in the little compartment in a vaporizer OR smeared on an old piece of flannel and tucked into your nightgown like a bib)
My mom was best at nurturing when I was physically sick (she UNDERSTOOD physical illness but not emotional upset), so I do have memories of feeling secure when I was ill (it's a wonder I didn't turn into a malingerer). She always served Hi-C when I was sick, potato soup after I got my braces tightened, and "doped me up" with Vicks when I had congestion.
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Hi Bones, I know it is January and therefore the usual time for viruses and stuff to get us, but it does seem that around here there are an especially large number of people running fever with upper respiratory bugs. My hubby hardly EVER gets sick (he's one of those weird people who believes he can just DECIDE not to get sick ... and I kind of believe him because he could always throughout our 24 years of marriage hold off getting sick til vacation, at which point he always was sick with something, even the kids noticed) ... anyway, even he has been really really ill with an upper respiratory infection of some sort ... he ran up to 102 degrees of fever several days.
I hope yours is quick and mild. However, since I know your childhood memories are not that great ... maybe I can share some of my comfort stuff with you and maybe you can feel comforted by osmosis ...
Hi-C (orange or fruit punch flavor)
potato soup (my version is basically very thin mashed potatoes with lots of butter, milk, salt and pepper ... no chicken brother or anything else)
Vicks Vap-o-rub (either in the little compartment in a vaporizer OR smeared on an old piece of flannel and tucked into your nightgown like a bib)
My mom was best at nurturing when I was physically sick (she UNDERSTOOD physical illness but not emotional upset), so I do have memories of feeling secure when I was ill (it's a wonder I didn't turn into a malingerer). She always served Hi-C when I was sick, potato soup after I got my braces tightened, and "doped me up" with Vicks when I had congestion.
Thanks, HoP!
Bones
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I just received an e-mail from NDoofus.
Her sister died of cancer on Monday, January 25, 2010. I debated about responding and went ahead and sent a message of condolence from bf and myself even though I know it is risking opening that "can of worms" with her. At the same time, I don't feel comfortable being completely stone-hearted under these circumstances. I just have to be REALLY vigilant about my boundaries with her at this juncture.
Bones
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The memorial service is tomorrow morning at a church down the street from me. Ironically, the deceased sister has NEVER had ANY connection with this particular church. Only NDoofus has attended this particular place. If bf is willing to attend the service, I'll go. Otherwise, I do NOT want to walk into that situation ALONE knowing that I might be ganged up on by NDoofus and her coterie of Narcissistic Suppliers! :P
Bones
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Yes, that makes sense ,Bones! Good Morning :D x o x Ami
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Yes, that makes sense ,Bones! Good Morning :D x o x Ami
Good morning, Ami, and thanks!
Bones
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Knowing NDoofus the way I do, and given that the venue of the memorial service is on HER turf instead of a neutral place, it wouldn't surprise me that she would GRAB this opportunity to make HERSELF T-H-E STAR, put on the total DRAMA QUEEN routine, and DEMAND ALL THE ATTENTION BE FOCUSED ON ONLY HER!!!!! She would IGNORE the fact that her other sister is there, her mother is there, her husband is there, along with other mourners. :P
There's grief, then there's Narcissistic GARBAGE!
I no longer have any patience for that kind of rubbish!
Bones
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I know that your bf sometimes doesn't "get" the interpersonal stuff very well, but ... I found it really helpful when my Dad was sick to put my husband between me and my parents as a buffer. Maybe your bf could play this role in this situation for you too. For example, my dad knew how fragile my mother was emotionally, and I guess he always made it his #1 priority to take care of her. (I think this is how he loved her for 50 years despite her narcissistic nonsense ... he perceived clearly that she was fragile and needy and treated her as such). So when he was told his arm had to be amputated because of the cancer, he came over and said YOUR MOTHER is going to need you. I heard that giant sucking sound H. Ross Perot used to talk about ... I was going to get sucked back into too much closeness with my parents and I was terrified. Yet, I knew that Daddy genuinely needed me and I genuinely loved him and didn't want to let him down.
However, when he first said that i just froze. I probably turned white as a sheet. Not because of the awfulness of having his arm taken off (although that was bad enough) but because I felt a "soul amputation" coming on as well. My hubby, bless his heart, stepped up and assured my dad that HE AND I would always be there to take care of them (my parents) and that we would do anything they needed done. What a relief it was. They could be supported but it didn't have to be just me ... and my mom seldom gaslights my husband, I guess she's kind of in awe of him or something.
I mean, I knew that he was going to be there for me anyway, but in that situation I felt like my parents were using this terrible circumstance to reel me back into their dysfunction. He kept that from happening and was able to love my dad and help him through that terrible time. In fact, a year later he sat up with my dad all night, the night before he died.
IMO, it's not only OK, it's a blessing if someone can be a buffer.
-
I know that your bf sometimes doesn't "get" the interpersonal stuff very well, but ... I found it really helpful when my Dad was sick to put my husband between me and my parents as a buffer. Maybe your bf could play this role in this situation for you too. For example, my dad knew how fragile my mother was emotionally, and I guess he always made it his #1 priority to take care of her. (I think this is how he loved her for 50 years despite her narcissistic nonsense ... he perceived clearly that she was fragile and needy and treated her as such). So when he was told his arm had to be amputated because of the cancer, he came over and said YOUR MOTHER is going to need you. I heard that giant sucking sound H. Ross Perot used to talk about ... I was going to get sucked back into too much closeness with my parents and I was terrified. Yet, I knew that Daddy genuinely needed me and I genuinely loved him and didn't want to let him down.
However, when he first said that i just froze. I probably turned white as a sheet. Not because of the awfulness of having his arm taken off (although that was bad enough) but because I felt a "soul amputation" coming on as well. My hubby, bless his heart, stepped up and assured my dad that HE AND I would always be there to take care of them (my parents) and that we would do anything they needed done. What a relief it was. They could be supported but it didn't have to be just me ... and my mom seldom gaslights my husband, I guess she's kind of in awe of him or something.
I mean, I knew that he was going to be there for me anyway, but in that situation I felt like my parents were using this terrible circumstance to reel me back into their dysfunction. He kept that from happening and was able to love my dad and help him through that terrible time. In fact, a year later he sat up with my dad all night, the night before he died.
IMO, it's not only OK, it's a blessing if someone can be a buffer.
Thanks, HoP. I'm hoping that bf would be willing to go to the memorial service, otherwise, I don't want to go at all. Given that NDoofus' mother has Alzheimer's and is going on 92 years old, I'm sure that her passing will be in the very near future. When that occurs, I have a feeling that the arrangements are going to be held at NDoofus' church AGAIN even though NONE of these family members EVER were ANY part of this church other than INVOLUNTARY visits during their respective illnesses when they were too weak to object, just so that NDoofus could LOOK GOOD to EVERYONE she encountered.
Bones
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Hi Bones,
It may be brutal of me, but my opinion is that since you have intentionally closed the door on that friendship, though it was very civil of you to email condolences, I believe you are under no obligation to attend the funeral or to be part of the congregation.
You were not close to her sister, right? And you are no longer close to her. Even though there has been a death, that does not change the fact that you have moved on in your life, and it is no longer necessary for you to "fill a pew" as her friend.
In truth, you are no longer her friend. Doesn't mean you hate her, have no compassion for grief, or that you've made her an enemy.
She is just no longer occupying a position in your life, so I don't see why you need to go backward and attend.
love,
Hops
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Hi Bones,
It may be brutal of me, but my opinion is that since you have intentionally closed the door on that friendship, though it was very civil of you to email condolences, I believe you are under no obligation to attend the funeral or to be part of the congregation.
You were not close to her sister, right? And you are no longer close to her. Even though there has been a death, that does not change the fact that you have moved on in your life, and it is no longer necessary for you to "fill a pew" as her friend.
In truth, you are no longer her friend. Doesn't mean you hate her, have no compassion for grief, or that you've made her an enemy.
She is just no longer occupying a position in your life, so I don't see why you need to go backward and attend.
love,
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
It's not being brutal at all. It's just being real and what you describe is quite accurate.
Bones
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Talked with bf last night about the memorial service. He's NOT interested and suggested I go....ALONE! HELL NO!!!!!! :P
I also looked back on the way NDoofus responded when NWomb-Donor died and I was dealing with THAT aftermath TOTALLY ALONE!!!! While she blathered mindlessly, and fell all over herself, about being my "BEST FRIEND", she was NOWHERE around when I needed emotional support the most. Now, with the loss of her sister, she has her husband and her remaining sister. Based on these experiences, I told bf that I have absolutely NO interest in dealing with NDoofus' BS ever again! Then he changed the subject to groceries.... Makes me wonder where HIS empathy is? :? :?
Bones
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I think we are all a little broken. I know I am. x o x o Ami
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I think we are all a little broken. I know I am. x o x o Ami
True.....
Bones
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:|
Woke up at 4:00 AM, without the alarm clock, and already had my morning coffee. Looked at the temperature...19 degrees F. Baby, it's COLD outside!!!!!!
Bones
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I was up at 3 AM yesterday. Sorry it is so cold! Keep warm (((Bonesie))))) x o x o Ami
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I was up at 3 AM yesterday. Sorry it is so cold! Keep warm (((Bonesie))))) x o x o Ami
Thanks, Ami.
I'm keeping warm by staying put and playing Farmville on Facebook while checking my e-mail at the same time.
Bones
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I just got word that a wonderful lady, Muriel Mumy, passed away at the wise age of 97. I've asked the family what would be the best way to honor her...either with her favorite flowers or donations to her favorite charity. I'm waiting to hear back. I'm sad for the family and, at the same time, 97 years is an amazing gift for one person to have lived!
Bones
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((((Bones))))) Ami
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((((Bones))))) Ami
Thanks, Ami.
I'm passing the hugs along to the ((((((Mumy Family))))))).
Bones
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I'm feeling EXASPERATED with bf! :P
After attempting to discuss the home-based business for the PAST SEVERAL WEEKS, last night his reaction to the whole thing was to simply shrug it off as TOTALLY UNIMPORTANT to HIMSELF so why discuss it?!? I just about PUT MY FOOT up his A$$! Then he "promised" to help me with it. However, I don't believe his "promises" because they are usually nothing more than BS where he is simply saying what he thinks I want to hear then conveniently "FORGETS" what he said to me or makes other EXCUSES about why he doesn't want to be bothered with follow-through! I've told him before: "Say what you mean and MEAN WHAT YOU SAY! I'm SICK AND TIRED OF THE BULLSH*T! WHAT IS THE DEAL HERE?!?!?" His usual response? "I dunno!" A$$H*LE!!!!
Bones
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(((((Bones))))) x o x o Ami
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(((((Bones))))) x o x o Ami
Thanks, ((((((Ami))))))
Bones
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It's Groundshog Day, it's COLD as all get out outside, and I'm hearing predictions of MORE WINTRY MESS on the way! Yuck!!!! :P
Bones
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30 year Anniversary Bones. What do you think???? Ami
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30 year Anniversary Bones. What do you think???? Ami
I'm not quite awake yet.
30 year anniversary for which/what__________?
Bones
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My marriage. I have been in it for 30 years. Can you believe that? Talk about frozen.
Really, I replayed my childhood where I could NOT leave.
Married on Ground Hogs day--30 years ago. Ami
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My marriage. I have been in it for 30 years. Can you believe that? Talk about frozen.
Really, I replayed my childhood where I could NOT leave.
Married on Ground Hogs day--30 years ago. Ami
Is it similar to the movie "Groundshog Day"?
Bones
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Can't remember the movie Bones . I am glad I look forward to the life beyond! x o x o Ami
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Can't remember the movie Bones . I am glad I look forward to the life beyond! x o x o Ami
I haven't had the chance to watch it yet. What little I know about the movie, Bill Murray's character relives Groundhog's Day over and over again.
Bones
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It's snowed AGAIN! I'm SICK of Winter and being cooped up with cabin fever! :P :P
Bones
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Just don't become Jack Nicholsen!!!!
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Just don't become Jack Nicholsen!!!!
LOL!
Bones
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LOL Glad you saw The Shining! x o x o ami
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LOL Glad you saw The Shining! x o x o ami
I never saw The Shining as I don't particularly care for Stephen King's stories. I've seen Jack Nicholson in "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" and that was enough!
Bones
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lol He has cabin fever in The Shining. Ami
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lol He has cabin fever in The Shining. Ami
O. I. C.
Bones
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Had some computer problems earlier.
Bones
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The letters in Dear Abby for Friday, February 5, 2010, seem to be touching on the topic of dealing with Narcissists. What do you think?
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20101231
Bones
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I will watch later . Wanted to say "Hi" x o x o Ami
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I will watch later . Wanted to say "Hi" x o x o Ami
Thanks, Ami!
Bones
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My geographic area is getting hit by a Blizzard and the weather people are predicting one to two feet of snow. Since my budget is tight, regarding food, I asked bf to bring me a list of items to tide me through since I won't be able to get out for a while. What does he do? Shows up EMPTY HANDED because he didn't see the brand of juice he wanted so he gets NOTHING to prepare for this Blizzard! He focuses on his birds instead! WE CAN'T EAT BIRD FOOD!!!! A$$H*LE!!!!! :P :P
Bones
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Woke up at 4:00 in the morning, got a cuppa coffee, looked outside and it appears to be at least TWO FEET of snow on the ground and it's STILL COMING DOWN HARD! The weather people are predicting that this Blizzard will continue ALL DAY until 10:00 PM TONIGHT!!!!! Oh-h-h-h-h-h joy, joy! :P
Bones
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The electricity went off at about 2:30 PM Saturday afternoon and finally came back on at about 2:00 AM Sunday morning! NOT FUN!!! :P :P :P
Bones
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Yes ((((Bones)))) I heard about your situation on the radio. I am so sorry. x o x o Ami
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Yes ((((Bones)))) I heard about your situation on the radio. I am so sorry. x o x o Ami
NONE of this is fun AT ALL!!!! Mail has been suspended and I'm seeing on the news that even the religious institutions around here have canceled their services because EVERYTHING IS STUCK!
Bones
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Hi Bones,
...same winter wonderland.
We lost power last night. My tenant slept in front of the fireplace and I read for hours by candlelight.
It was getting chilly but we do have shelter and plenty of blankets...
Today it's incredibly beautiful, icicles along the roof (right out my window), all the trees are an entirely new dimension, coated thick, whole new shapes, or their own shapes made powerful by the snow, everything white and sparkling. That's the pretty side.
The downside is...more snow Tuesday. This has been the most challenging winter I can remember, and the most snow accumulation here in recorded history. Quite sobering in that sense.
Hops
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Hi Bones,
...same winter wonderland.
We lost power last night. My tenant slept in front of the fireplace and I read for hours by candlelight.
It was getting chilly but we do have shelter and plenty of blankets...
Today it's incredibly beautiful, icicles along the roof (right out my window), all the trees are an entirely new dimension, coated thick, whole new shapes, or their own shapes made powerful by the snow, everything white and sparkling. That's the pretty side.
The downside is...more snow Tuesday. This has been the most challenging winter I can remember, and the most snow accumulation here in recorded history. Quite sobering in that sense.
Hops
Sounds like you're in my neck of the woods, inclluding the Tuesday prediction of MORE SNOW!
Bones
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I'm subscribed to another discussion list and found I had to set a boundary. This one (new) member started bombarding our InBoxes with silly drivel that basically translated into: "LOOK AT ME! I'M CUTE! LOOK AT ME!! LOOK AT ME!!!" I asked that he please stop as I have enough e-mails to sort through without having to deal with that. He responded by calling me, and I quote: "A filthy, feminist, whore pig!" Unquote. I blocked his e-mail address and forwarded the offensive message to the discussion list's moderator. Turns out the moderator was also receiving abusive messages from this individual, as well, after he was warned that this type of behavior is inappropriate to the discussion list. The moderator was appalled when he saw the abusive message that was sent to me, off-list, and promptly removed the offender from the discussion list.
I told the moderator that this person sounds like he has Narcissistic Personality Disorder who refuses to respect anyone's boundaries.
Sigh! It seems like it's a never-ending battle with Narcissists!
Bones
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Well, we have ANOTHER Winter Storm bearing down on my area and I hate to think what the ADDITIONAL accumulation is going to be ON TOP of what was already dumped by the Blizzard of 2010! I told Birdbrain to PLEASE get EVERYTHING on the grocery list that I gave him as I will be UNABLE to get to the grocery story for quite a while as a result of this crazy Winter weather because my car is STILL BURIED! What does he do instead? Gets only a FEW items from the list, which will last no more than ONE or TWO DAYS and kept insisting that I should be okay with that! What a !@#$-ing A$$hole!
Bones
P.S. If anyone saw Monday night's episode of "House" where a hospital employee was caught stealing ephedrine and fired. She sounded like a Flaming Narcissist when she got caught! What did you think of the way Cuddy handled that? I LOVED it!
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(((((Bones under snow)))) x o x o Ami
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(((((Bones under snow)))) x o x o Ami
Thanks, Ami.
I'm about to pick up and throw EVERYTHING at him, INCLUDING THE KITCHEN AND BATHROOM SINKS!
Bones
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We're getting hit with ANOTHER BLIZZARD today and all Birdbrain will do is focus on his pets! :P I gave him a few choice words when he insisted on minimizing and discounting the weather predictions! :x
Bones
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I had been telling Ding Dong Birdbrain that we need to have an Emergency Contingency Plan to prepare for whatever emergency that occurs around here and he simply REFUSED to listen because he kept insisting that "It will NEVER happen around here!" Well, guess what? It's happened! The total snowfall in my area has broken the records set in 1898 and 1899 and there is NO WAY I will be able to get out and get food for quite a while!
Then Birdbrain calls me up last night, after I went to bed, whining that he can't get out of his parking lot! After being woken up out of a sound sleep, and FRUSTRATED about him IGNORING ALL THE WARNINGS along with discounting and minimizing everything, I was LESS than sympathetic and bluntly stated: "TOLD YOU SO!" and hung up!
@#$!-ing MORONIC IDIOT!!!!!! :P :evil: :twisted:
Bones
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(((((Bones)))))
x o x o Ami
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(((((Bones)))))
x o x o Ami
Thanks, ((((((((((((((Ami))))))))))))))))))))
Bones
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Read a recent news report about actor Alex Baldwin being taken to a hospital after his daughter called 9-1-1.
Turns out they had been fighting and he had threatened to take a lot of pills. (NICE way to treat a 14-year-old kid, DAD! :P) Based on what I read, the 14-year-old is more mature than her parents!
Bones
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Just blogging away as I'm still snowed/iced in for awhile.
As far as Alec Baldwin's behaviors, I'm more and more convinced that he is an N. After all, what loving parent, in their right mind, would call an 11-year-old child "a pig" then, three years later, threaten to overdose AT her because the child DARED to disagree with him!? If he's supposed to be an adult, I sure don't see it!
Bones
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Bones,
Sounds like your BF is not the right guy for you.
Do you feel trapped into staying in the relationship? What keeps you from just breaking it off and moving on with your life? Do you feel as though you are in love with him?
CB
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Bones,
Sounds like your BF is not the right guy for you.
Do you feel trapped into staying in the relationship? What keeps you from just breaking it off and moving on with your life? Do you feel as though you are in love with him?
CB
Financially, I'm stuck because I need his rent to keep my head above water. My pension is not enough to live on and I have been unable to find a job due to my medical and physical limitations along with my age. I'm not qualified for SSI or SSDI, my disability occurred after I retired, early, from my Civil Service job when that job was abolished. I'm not old enough yet for Medicare plus the pension disqualfies me for Medicaid. Because I worked so long under the Civil Service Retirement System, I may not be able to qualify for Social Security when I become old enough for that. I'm constantly juggling what I can afford each month due to the medications I have to take yet, according to a bureaucratic "formula", I'm not considered "poor enough to qualify for any assistance". I have not gone back to the eye doctor because my health insurance won't cover that and I can't afford to pay for that out-of-pocket AND obtain my medications. The dentist I used to go to has stopped accepting the kind of dental insurance I have, which makes paying him out of the question. I DO have health insurance but they have been paying less and less, forcing me to pay MORE and MORE out of pocket! There's an article in the March/April 2010 AARP The Magazine that talks about this type of situation. The article is titled: "Living on the Edge".
Bones
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Hi ((Bones))
Sad, but I understand completely. Thanks for sharing the article, infuriating.
What do you think about this one?
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/02/11/anthem-blue-cross-spendin_n_458044.html.
This world is crazyyyyyyyyyy!
Be well. seasons xo
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Bones, How 'bout cooking up that bird food for him? Hot water, butter, salt ... he might possibly get the message if you did. Of course, I have a little not-so-nice streak in me that you probably don't have ...
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Hi ((Bones))
Sad, but I understand completely. Thanks for sharing the article, infuriating.
What do you think about this one?
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/02/11/anthem-blue-cross-spendin_n_458044.html.
This world is crazyyyyyyyyyy!
Be well. seasons xo
Thanks, Seasons.
You're right! The world is crazyyyyyyyyyyyy!
Bones
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Bones, How 'bout cooking up that bird food for him? Hot water, butter, salt ... he might possibly get the message if you did. Of course, I have a little not-so-nice streak in me that you probably don't have ...
I've gotten even meaner suggestions about harming the birds. The birds are the total innocents in this! It's not their fault he's such a Birdbrain!
Bones
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I went to bed early last night because I felt so tired. Birdbrain didn't show up until after 9:00 PM and woke me up. Then he went to take care of his bird. He knows what he needs to do to clean up around them and he also knows that I am NOT happy with the fact that he infested my house with HIS cockroaches!!!!!
This morning, after being woke up by muscle spasms, which put me in a VERY BAD MOOD, I limp around and discover he DID BOTHER TO REALLY CLEAN AND VACUUM!!!! :x :x He just left the filth where he dropped it last night and went home! DAMMIT!!!!
Bones
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Looks like I'm going to have to get up and STAND OVER HIM to make him CLEAN UP HIS FILTH AND COCKROACHES!!! DAMN!
Bones
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Hi Bones,
Are you his landlord? I was a little confused, was thinking y'all lived together.
Or does he help you pay your own rent?
I sympathize about bird poo, and roaches are the worst. Uggh. (I had them in Baltimore...they drove Lincolns, I swear...and once here at home my parents' house got them and my Dad was running around with a little spray can, not realizing it was time to call the professionals and I about got hysterical because I knew he didn't understand how they'd take over...one appeared on my nightstand in my bedroom and that was IT! Finally he got it, called in the pros, and we got it taken care of.)
Now, years later, I got mice. The snow has driven them indoors, and though the house is essentially in good shape, it's not "sealed". Accck.
I once had a canary for my D and she liked to let it fly around her room. Guano. Ugghh.
Does written communication help with you and your boyfriend?
Like, can he be helped by notes taped up? He seems to forget about step-by-step stuff, like what's on the grocery list, or what steps make a task complete. What about if you left a note (no anger in it, just steps):
XX, before you leave:
--Feed birds
--Clean up all droppings
Same kind of thing for shopping.
XXX, please get ALL of these things:
--
--
Does that approach help? Tried it?
hugs (spring WILL come),
Hops
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Hi Bones,
Are you his landlord? I was a little confused, was thinking y'all lived together.
Or does he help you pay your own rent?
I sympathize about bird poo, and roaches are the worst. Uggh. (I had them in Baltimore...they drove Lincolns, I swear...and once here at home my parents' house got them and my Dad was running around with a little spray can, not realizing it was time to call the professionals and I about got hysterical because I knew he didn't understand how they'd take over...one appeared on my nightstand in my bedroom and that was IT! Finally he got it, called in the pros, and we got it taken care of.)
Now, years later, I got mice. The snow has driven them indoors, and though the house is essentially in good shape, it's not "sealed". Accck.
I once had a canary for my D and she liked to let it fly around her room. Guano. Ugghh.
Does written communication help with you and your boyfriend?
Like, can he be helped by notes taped up? He seems to forget about step-by-step stuff, like what's on the grocery list, or what steps make a task complete. What about if you left a note (no anger in it, just steps):
XX, before you leave:
--Feed birds
--Clean up all droppings
Same kind of thing for shopping.
XXX, please get ALL of these things:
--
--
Does that approach help? Tried it?
hugs (spring WILL come),
Hops
Hi Hops!
I've tried EVERYTHING you suggested and he still DOESN'T GET IT!!!! He's still walking around with my WRITTEN grocery list in his wallet and has NEVER LOOKED AT IT when I asked him to bring me what I needed BEFORE BOTH BLIZZARDS HIT! He lives elsewhere but his birds are my "roommates" plus he has some of his stuff here because he's run out of room at his place. It took me years to finally figure out what's going on with his place...HOARDING!!!!! I finally put my foot down and told him that if he's going to be leaving his stuff here, then he's gotta pay rent because I refuse to be free storage along with free laundry, running up my utility bills, and I refuse to clean up after his birds because I have asthma! He doesn't understand the concept of asthma either! :P My neighbors are p*ssed off at him because he NEVER lifted a finger to help in digging out my car after the two blizzards! He just walked past and IGNORED EVERYTHING! TWIT!!!!
Bones
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It must be so frustrating, I can imagine.
If he were a client in a clinic, would you have some sort of a diagnosis for his obliviousness?
I mean, your descriptions sound like someone maybe sort of ADD-ish who literally CAN'T retain logical sequences and instructions in his head...?
He's not a mean person, right? He's just in a kind of a fog?
Hmmm.
How would you advise some OTHER couple to work on that kind of a communication problem?
(If they care about each other and want to retain the relationship...)
hugs
Hops
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It must be so frustrating, I can imagine.
If he were a client in a clinic, would you have some sort of a diagnosis for his obliviousness?
I mean, your descriptions sound like someone maybe sort of ADD-ish who literally CAN'T retain logical sequences and instructions in his head...?
He's not a mean person, right? He's just in a kind of a fog?
Hmmm.
How would you advise some OTHER couple to work on that kind of a communication problem?
(If they care about each other and want to retain the relationship...)
hugs
Hops
He could be A.D.D. I have to look it up in my DSM later on. He just called and is on his way here now.
Bones
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They say that if you wonder if your kid has ADHD, observe how they act after you've fed them something with caffeine. If they are actually calmer, they are probably ADHD. You could probably do that with your BF ... see if he focuses better after a stiff pot of coffee!!!
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They say that if you wonder if your kid has ADHD, observe how they act after you've fed them something with caffeine. If they are actually calmer, they are probably ADHD. You could probably do that with your BF ... see if he focuses better after a stiff pot of coffee!!!
He drinks coffee every morning, at his place, before he goes anywhere. I haven't observed the hyperactivity part but when I looked up Attention Deficit Disorder, (sans Hyperactivity), HE MEETS THAT CRITERIA!!!!! So I'm presuming that he is A.D.D. but was never officially diagnosed. (They didn't have these services available when we were in grade school.)
When he came over to clean up after his birds, I DID stand over him and point out WHERE he NEEDED TO CLEAN AND VACUUM! Otherwise, he won't do it!
Bones
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Some other friends stopped by and helped me get some food to tide me over. When birdbrain showed up later, he got totally confused! :?
Bones
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I need to go to a Homeowners Association meeting tonight and it is STILL dangerously icy right outside the condominium door!
Bones
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Just saw THE FIRST ROBIN TODAY!!!! WHEEEEE!!!!! It made me think....what a wonderful birthday present to be reminded that Spring is NEAR and this Winter mess will soon pass!
Bones
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Bones
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Bones
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Hi (((Bones))))
THinking of you! Ami
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Hi (((Bones))))
THinking of you! Ami
Thanks, (((((((Ami))))))))!
Bones
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How are you doing Bonesie? You don't sound too good, not your usually chipper self ! Ami
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How are you doing Bonesie? You don't sound too good, not your usually chipper self ! Ami
Feeling frustrated with a lot of different stuff going on.
Bones
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Bones
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Bones
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Oh boy, does THIS sound FAMILIAR?!?!?!?!?
http://my.att.net/s/editorial.dll?pnum=1&bfromind=7403&eeid=7134109&_sitecat=1479&dcatid=0&eetype=article&render=y&ac=-2&ck=&ch=ne&s=en&rg=blsadstrgt&l=hm
Bones
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Bones
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Bones
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Bones
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Hi Bones. I have missed our morning chats! x o x o Ami
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Hi Bones. I have missed our morning chats! x o x o Ami
Hi, Ami.
Been doing a lot of thinking and processing what I'm reading on the Board.
Basically gave up on getting through bf's thick skull. Recently had a birthday, shortly after Valentine's Day. No card, no flowers, no birthday gift. He took me to lunch and spent most of the time staring off into space smiling to himself. I felt like I was talking to a blank wall! I got aggravated enough that I bought myself my own birthday present...the Star Trek Scene It game and was playing it in "party mode" last night for just myself. Bf shows up while I'm focusing on the game and he starts bugging me with behaviors that said "Pay attention TO ME!!!!!!" Told him: "Go way! I'm busy playing Star Trek! If you don't want to join the game, then get outta my face!" Confused the heck outta him! :?
Bones
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Bones
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Frustrated with dial-up access to the Internet! :P
Bones
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I think with b/f or anyone--what you have is what is. I am learning this about myself ,especially when *I* disappoint people. Someone, recently, wanted me to be what I could not.
He was very angry but I could NOT be different in the ways he wanted.Also, I realized that I did not want to be pushed to be different ,either. I am an "As --is" in many ways. I have been pushed and pushed myself for my whole life. I always strived to be perfect.I still do but I am trying to let go of that distortion cuz it is a distortion from the NM.
Ami
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I think with b/f or anyone--what you have is what is. I am learning this about myself ,especially when *I* disappoint people. Someone, recently, wanted me to be what I could not.
He was very angry but I could NOT be different in the ways he wanted.Also, I realized that I did not want to be pushed to be different ,either. I am an "As --is" in many ways. I have been pushed and pushed myself for my whole life. I always strived to be perfect.I still do but I am trying to let go of that distortion cuz it is a distortion from the NM.
Ami
I need to think and process this. :|
Bones
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Yes, Bones.
*I* really disappointed someone, recently , and so I saw my failings from his perspective and it humbled me. Ami
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Yes, Bones.
*I* really disappointed someone, recently , and so I saw my failings from his perspective and it humbled me. Ami
The difference I am perceiving is that you see it and do something about it. He just wanders through life, blissfully IGNORING problems he creates for others!
Bones
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Well, I SAW it after I really hurt someone BUT I didn't mean to. I was lost in my own issues and did it inadvertently.
Ami
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Well, I SAW it after I really hurt someone BUT I didn't mean to. I was lost in my own issues and did it inadvertently.
Ami
Well, you were able to see it. He just doesn't.....
Bones
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Yes ((((Bones)))
He seems like he does not have much self introspection. I can tell that by what you write. He is "out of it" emotionally.
I think, for me, that AS I get more confidence, I can risk more i.e. love more cuz if I am hurt, I will still have a self. It is a strange double edged sword.
I hope to God I live long enough to be a functional person LOL. Ami
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Yes ((((Bones)))
He seems like he does not have much self introspection. I can tell that by what you write. He is "out of it" emotionally.
I think, for me, that AS I get more confidence, I can risk more i.e. love more cuz if I am hurt, I will still have a self. It is a strange double edged sword.
I hope to God I live long enough to be a functional person LOL. Ami
You and me both.
Bones
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Yeah Bones --From your mouth to God 's ear LOL Ami
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Yeah Bones --From your mouth to God 's ear LOL Ami
8)
Bones
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Bones
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Bones
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Furnace broke down! :P
Bones
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Aaack.
Stay warm, Bones!
Sheesh, winter is supposed to be over...
Hops
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Aaack.
Stay warm, Bones!
Sheesh, winter is supposed to be over...
Hops
I wish it were SUMMER NOW!!!! I can handle that without a heating/air conditioning unit until I could get the money together for the repairman, parts, and labor!
Bones
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And getting the furnace fixed is going to be expensive, especially with no job plus medical expenses! OUCH! :P
Bones
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I know, Bones. I am really sorry.
Have you checked with the utility companies to see if they have any support programs for furnace repair?
Hops
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I know, Bones. I am really sorry.
Have you checked with the utility companies to see if they have any support programs for furnace repair?
Hops
The utility companies around here don't do that. I have to deal with whoever was involved when these condominiums were constructed and see what I can do.
Bones
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Bones
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Bones
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Hi (((Bones)))))) Ami
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Hi (((Bones)))))) Ami
Hi, ((((((Ami))))).
I was at the local library a little while ago using their
Wi-Fi. Because the library has only ONE electrical
outlet available for laptop users, I've made it a
habit of bringing my own surge suppressor and
share it with others who ask if they may plug
into mine. I also let them know how long I
will be there so they won't be caught by
surprise when it's time for me to leave.
This time, I found I had to assert myself as I
was about to shut off my laptop and start
packing up to come home. As I was about
to start the shut down procedure on my
computer, this guy walks up, and without
even asking, GRABBED my surge suppressor!
I commented: "Excuse me! I'm getting
ready to pack it up to leave." He almost
SNARLED at me and tried to INSIST that
the surge suppressor BELONGED TO THE
LIBRARY! I calmly corrected him by saying:
(1) the library NEVER provides surge
suppressors and (2) I brought THAT ONE
from home and it will go BACK HOME
WITH ME! The guy backed off!
Some people are just UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!!
Bones
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Bones
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How's the furnace Bones? Are you keeping warm?
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How's the furnace Bones? Are you keeping warm?
Hi, Swimmer.
I'm still waiting for a part.
I'm trying to keep warm by layering up and using the oven off and on.
Bones
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I hope the part arrives soon:). I'm sure you've figured out every way to keep as warm as you can.
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I hope the part arrives soon:). I'm sure you've figured out every way to keep as warm as you can.
I'm hoping the part arrives soon, too, and I'm also hoping that is the ONLY problem the furnace has.
Bones
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Hi Bones,
Sorry to hear about your furnace problems. Hope all turns out well.......... soon. ((hugs))
Great job speaking up to that jerk at the library. Kudos to you! :D
seasons
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Hi Bones,
Sorry to hear about your furnace problems. Hope all turns out well.......... soon. ((hugs))
Great job speaking up to that jerk at the library. Kudos to you! :D
seasons
Thanks, ((Seasons))!
The part is supposed to be installed some time tomorrow. I'm just hoping that the furnace won't need any other additional parts.
Bones
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Good to hear the part is arriving, keep those fingers crossed!!
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Good to hear the part is arriving, keep those fingers crossed!!
Definitely!!!!
Bones
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Furnace fixed! :)
Bones
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Yessss!!:))))
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Yessss!!:))))
Thanks!
Bones
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One of my morning routines is to read the online advice columns such as "Dear Abby". This morning's column had a letter that had my jaw dropping!!!!!! I'll see if I can put the link here so you can read it for yourselves.
Bones
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20100312
Here's the link I was referring to. It's the very first letter of the advice column.
Bones
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I was watching the genealogy show last night, that focused on Emmitt Smith, and it brought up my own memories of when I first discovered the truth about my ethnic heritage. It still enrages me that NWomb-Donor deliberately cut me off from my father's side of the family because she was such a racist!
Bones
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I was reading one of the letters in "Dear Abby" this morning where a person was venting about canceling a party because only three people sent her an RSVP. It triggered another memory of where the N-Relatives attempted to force me to act as the "family slave".
I had been invited to attend the wedding anniversary party for my adopted sister. When I called her to RSVP my attendance, she responded with: "Oh, good! Now you can drive here and pick up this person and drive there and pick up that person, etc., etc., etc., ad nauseum! She didn't even bother to ASK if I could or was willing to criss-cross the ENTIRE COUNTY to pick up people who were ABSOLUTE TOTAL STRANGERS TO ME AND PAY FOR ALL OF THE GAS OUT OF MY POCKET WITHOUT BEING REIMBURSED FOR THIS EXPENSE!!!!!! :P
When I pointed out that I could not do that, her response was: "Well, consider yourself DIS-INVITED, you @#$%!"
And these @#$%& can't understand why I don't want to "socialize" with them???????????????
Bones
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Oh (((Bones)))) How demeaning!!! Ami
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Oh (((Bones)))) How demeaning!!! Ami
Yes!
Thanks, (((((Ami)))))))!
Bones
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Hi Bones,
I feel like I should should ask if I can "chime in" but I think it is better than "lurking" here every day and eavesdropping on your thread.
I wanted to tell you I "follow along" and say that so much of what you write echoes and resonates and validates many of the things I think, feel etc and wanted to let you know that I may not be able to resist chiming in -- (not to imply that I have any Real way of Knowing any of that -- but my interpretation at least)
I had just read "Dear Abby" the other day right before you posted so I immediately knew what you meant about the cake woman -- on one hand, it would be so easy to write off her behavior but that means they all have to live with it! So SHE gets lots of cake, everyone DREADS cake days and she wins every dream of making everyone uncomfortable -- DIABOLICAL! I can hear Jeff Foxworthy saying, "she mi-ig-ht be a narcissist!" And just reading the letter gave me one of the PTSD moments (minor?) -- not that exact situation but that "creeped out" feeling. I am more sensitized than ever to wanting to "run for the hills" when anyone around starts displaying those traits.
Thanks again,
Biddy
PS I get in trouble all the time for being too Blunt -- apologies in advance all!
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Hi Bones,
I feel like I should should ask if I can "chime in" but I think it is better than "lurking" here every day and eavesdropping on your thread.
I wanted to tell you I "follow along" and say that so much of what you write echoes and resonates and validates many of the things I think, feel etc and wanted to let you know that I may not be able to resist chiming in -- (not to imply that I have any Real way of Knowing any of that -- but my interpretation at least)
I had just read "Dear Abby" the other day right before you posted so I immediately knew what you meant about the cake woman -- on one hand, it would be so easy to write off her behavior but that means they all have to live with it! So SHE gets lots of cake, everyone DREADS cake days and she wins every dream of making everyone uncomfortable -- DIABOLICAL! I can hear Jeff Foxworthy saying, "she mi-ig-ht be a narcissist!" And just reading the letter gave me one of the PTSD moments (minor?) -- not that exact situation but that "creeped out" feeling. I am more sensitized than ever to wanting to "run for the hills" when anyone around starts displaying those traits.
Thanks again,
Biddy
PS I get in trouble all the time for being too Blunt -- apologies in advance all!
Hi, Biddy!!!!!
You're more than welcome to "chime in"! I LOVE the Jeff Foxworthy reference!!!!!!! LOL!!!!! :lol: And I can related to the "creeped out" feeling and the urge to run for the hills when dealing with anyone displaying Narcissistic traits! BTW, I also tend to get blunt, in person, when someone attempts to violate boundaries....whether mine or someone else's. If I may share an incident that occurred over the weekend.....
I was out to dinner with a group of like-minded people when the discussion came up regarding a recent science fiction convention. (I've come to suspect that one of the members of our group is a Passive-Aggressive Narcissist.) While talking about the convention, that some of the group members attended, this "P-A-N" started WHINING that another member DIDN'T GIVE HIM A WAKE-UP CALL!!!!!! (Mind you, this P-A-N is FIFTY-SOMETHING YEARS OLD, has a BAD habit of laying around in bed UNTIL PAST NOON, and not only expects others to get him up, he goes so far as to DEMAND IT and then WHINES when others refuse to comply!) As he continued to monopolize the conversation with his whining guilt-trip, I loudly barked at him: "I BEG YOUR PARDON?!?!?!? EXCU-U-U-SE ME?!?!?!?" His response was to give us all the "blank stare". (*Shakes head*)
Speaking of N's who seem to enjoy hijacking dinner conversations, like the P-A-N from this past weekend, today's "Dear Abby" might ring some familiar bells:
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20100315
Bones
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Thanks, Bones!
I only have one friend left from the days when I was the world's doormat -- she occasionally now -- used to be frequent -- asks for a "wake up call" because she is a bigtime sleeper -- and when you make the call -- she invariably asks for a follow up call "in a little while!" We go back 25 years and she is the least of the abusers that I used to have in my circle (The FOO leaps to mind) and she is the last and since I love her so and I know so much more now -- I continue our relationship -- we're also very attached to her hubby who is one of the best men I've ever known. But the "wake up call" made me think of that. As an adult, I try to cultivate mature relationships that I can depend on when I actually NEED something and try not to bug the heck out of people when I'm able to care for myself. Her mild narcissism seems more like a bid for attention or love and she USUALLY doesn't push it past my total comfort zone -- although she used to. And there is at least some reciprocation -- because if I am feeling like a big narcissistic baby -- she is the first one I call!
I'm so happy to be among you guys! Have a great rest of the day!
Biddy
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Thanks, Bones!
I only have one friend left from the days when I was the world's doormat -- she occasionally now -- used to be frequent -- asks for a "wake up call" because she is a bigtime sleeper -- and when you make the call -- she invariably asks for a follow up call "in a little while!" We go back 25 years and she is the least of the abusers that I used to have in my circle (The FOO leaps to mind) and she is the last and since I love her so and I know so much more now -- I continue our relationship -- we're also very attached to her hubby who is one of the best men I've ever known. But the "wake up call" made me think of that. As an adult, I try to cultivate mature relationships that I can depend on when I actually NEED something and try not to bug the heck out of people when I'm able to care for myself. Her mild narcissism seems more like a bid for attention or love and she USUALLY doesn't push it past my total comfort zone -- although she used to. And there is at least some reciprocation -- because if I am feeling like a big narcissistic baby -- she is the first one I call!
I'm so happy to be among you guys! Have a great rest of the day!
Biddy
Thanks, Biddy!
We probably all do tend to have some Narcissistic traits because we were treated as objects during our childhoods when all we wanted was to MATTER TO SOMEBODY AS A HUMAN BEING, NOT AS AN OBJECT.
When you describe how your friend would tell you to call back again after the initial wake-up call, that's EXACTLY what this guy does!!!! He also whined about punctuality. He doesn't see why being on time for ANYTHING should be important! (And he wonders why he's still unemployed? DUH!)
Have a great day, yourself!
Bones
-
I think one of the hardest things to be learned is finding our voices and squeaking up when we are being trampled on by Narcissists!
Bones
-
Happy Saint Patrick's Day!
Bones
-
:|
Bones
-
:|
Just checking in.
Bones
-
I think one of the hardest things to be learned is finding our voices and squeaking up when we are being trampled on by Narcissists!
Bones
It is for me!
How are you doing Bones (happy belated St. Patty's!)
-
I think one of the hardest things to be learned is finding our voices and squeaking up when we are being trampled on by Narcissists!
Bones
It is for me!
How are you doing Bones (happy belated St. Patty's!)
Thanks, KatG!
I'm hanging in there, one day at a time.
Bones
-
I'm feeling a bit frustrated with my health issues. :P
Bones
-
I'm really sorry you have all that to cope with (((Bones))).
Hope you soak up some sunshine today.
love,
Hops
-
Thanks, Hops!
It's almost 70 degrees today and the flowers are blooming! I'm trying to enjoy in spite of the aggravations.
Bones
-
Hope the flowers brought some cheer Bones:)
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Hope the flowers brought some cheer Bones:)
Thanks, Swimmer!
They did!
Bones
-
:|
Checking in.
Bones
-
:|
Been resting for a couple days.
Went to a support group, (for people struggling with disabilities), yesterday afternoon and encountered a suspected N who wanted to BRAG how she KNOWS EVERYTHING and proceeded to try to SHOVE her political views, racial attitudes, and conspiracy theories down my throat! :P (She is NOT part of the support group AT ALL!) I politely informed her that I didn't come there to discuss politics with anyone and, instead of respecting boundaries, proceeded to attempt to FORCE her opinions on me! I, again, reminded her, more firmly that I was NOT there to be discussing politics with anyone, PERIOD, end of discussion. She got even huffier and flounced out of the room. (Good riddance!)
Bones
-
:|
Bones
-
Hi ((((Bonesie)))))
-
Hi ((((Bonesie)))))
Hi, ((((((Ami)))))))))))))
Bones
-
Cold and damp around here today which has all my old injuries saying "hello". :(
Bones
-
Hi Bones - Hi Ami
It has been cold and dreary here too -- I'm in western md -- so regionally that is somewhat near where you are? Days like today remember every ache and pain.
But soon enough we'll be complaining of the heat!
Biddy
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Hi Bones - Hi Ami
It has been cold and dreary here too -- I'm in western md -- so regionally that is somewhat near where you are? Days like today remember every ache and pain.
But soon enough we'll be complaining of the heat!
Biddy
After this recent winter, I'm looking forward to the summer heat!
Bones
-
Yes, I LOVE heat, too. x o x Ami
-
Yes, I LOVE heat, too. x o x Ami
Thanks, Ami!
Heat is better on achy joints.
Bones
-
I've been socializing several times with a group of people who are into the same kind of science fiction stuff that I like. However, after observing one member for quite a while, I have become convinced that he is an N who is TOTALLY IN LOVE WITH THE SOUND OF HIS OWN VOICE! :P For the past several weeks to MONTHS, he insists on talking about another bunch of people who he feels are SO IMPORTANT and on the brink of BECOMING FAMOUS and kept reminding us time and again about HIS affiliation with these individuals who are ABOUT TO BECOME SO FAMOUS!!!! (Name-dropping anyone!?) :P :P Other members of our group had tried to passively steer him away from his favorite subject of HIMSELF and these NEAR-FAMOUS people, by giving him hint after hint and changing the subject, without any success. NARCISSISTS-DO-NOT-TAKE-HINTS!!!!!!
Last weekend, I finally reached my limit when the N started up again about his FAVORITE subject of HIMSELF and these NEARLY-FAMOUS people that I blew my stack and LOUDLY told him to "SHUT THE H3LL UP!!!! I AM SICK OF HEARING ABOUT THIS EVERY SINGLE TIME WE GET TOGETHER FOR THE PAST SEVERAL MONTHS!!! And I quoted the original Bones in Star Trek: "It's dead, Jim!" Geez!!!!!!!
Bones
-
:|
Bones
-
For Dr. G et al....Happy Passover!
Bones
-
Went to support group yesterday and received a copy of the Personal Bill of Rights.
Bones
-
Thanks for the Happy Passover as I am a member of the Tribe lol.
There are N's everywhere. In my drinking group--there are a few.
One guy and one girl.
The girl is a female MD--beautiful, smart etc but an N lol
The guy is an egomaniac with an inferiority complex lol x o x o Ami
-
Thanks for the Happy Passover as I am a member of the Tribe lol.
There are N's everywhere. In my drinking group--there are a few.
One guy and one girl.
The girl is a female MD--beautiful, smart etc but an N lol
The guy is an egomaniac with an inferiority complex lol x o x o Ami
LOL!!
And the guy who is an egomaniac with an inferiority complex usually ends up needing Alcoholics Anonymous! There are PLENTY there who fit in the same category! :D
Bones
-
:|
Bones
-
:|
Bones
-
:|
Bones
-
Hi Bones,
Sorry that you are having aching bones. Me too and it sucks.
As for telling the N to shut up, I wished I was there to see that. Good for you. So often they end up sabotaging a group and
ruining it completely as everyone backs off because they cant stand it. It takes such courage to call it for what it is.
Oddly, this makes the person who does it kind of a scapegoat and they feel fear for doing this. Well, it would be lovely if
there was a movement to stop this monopolizing behaviour. For all the groups of people who get together for support and for everyone.
Hope the holiday or passover is going ok for you.
Sea storm
-
Hi Bones,
Sorry that you are having aching bones. Me too and it sucks.
As for telling the N to shut up, I wished I was there to see that. Good for you. So often they end up sabotaging a group and
ruining it completely as everyone backs off because they cant stand it. It takes such courage to call it for what it is.
Oddly, this makes the person who does it kind of a scapegoat and they feel fear for doing this. Well, it would be lovely if
there was a movement to stop this monopolizing behaviour. For all the groups of people who get together for support and for everyone.
Hope the holiday or passover is going ok for you.
Sea storm
Thanks, Sea Storm!
I was getting ready to quit the group because of the monopolizing and I finally decided, before I quit, I need to say SOMETHING!
Bones
-
Hi Bones,
I am happy you found your voice. Better to find a group that nurtures you.
Love,
Sea strom
-
Hi Bones,
I am happy you found your voice. Better to find a group that nurtures you.
Love,
Sea storm
Thanks, Sea Storm!
Bones
-
Mr. Birdbrain was here yesterday and I didn't want him reading over my shoulder while acknowledging your messages to me, Sea Storm.
As it turned out, I didn't need to quit the group after all. When I spoke up about the monopolizing, I saw expressions of relief on the faces of everyone else and they chimed in about how they felt about the monopolizing. The only response we got from Mr. N was the "glassy-eyed blank stare", (sound familiar anyone?). Then he says, "I think I'll go and get some dessert!" When he walked over to the dessert station, even his own brother breathed a sigh of relief!
It appears my outburst gave everyone else in the group permission to say something...FINALLY!
Bones
-
Hope you're having a Bloomin' Easter, Bones!
Biddy
-
Hope you're having a Bloomin' Easter, Bones!
Biddy
Thanks, Biddy!
You too!!
Bones
-
Happy 100th page of posts, Bones!
And happy spring to you too.
xo
Hops
-
Hi (((Bones)))) x o x Ami
-
Happy 100th page of posts, Bones!
And happy spring to you too.
xo
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
Happy Spring!
Bones
-
Hi (((Bones)))) x o x Ami
Hi, (((((Ami))))))
Bones
-
Yesterday was a WARM Spring day so went outside to explore the area. One of the places around here is a very old cemetery that dates back to the early 1800's. Took some notes about it and plan to share them on various genealogical websites to see if they have any descendants searching for them. One never knows!
Bones
-
:|
Bones
-
Top of the morning to you, Bonesie :D x o x
-
Top of the morning to you, Bonesie :D x o x
Thanks, Ami!
Bones
-
I've been trying to get a home-based business started and had to deal with an N who felt he was ENTITLED to FREE services and attempted to GUILT me because I asked to be paid for my work. He got politely told what to go do with himself! Sheesh!!!!!
Bones
-
What really had me shaking my head when I received the e-mail from this total stranger was that he signs off with: "I will NEVER contact you again!" (How he found me was through my Business Facebook Page, plus another genealogy website, that mentioned fees at both places. Did he think the word "fee" meant "free"?) :?
Bones
-
:|
Bones
-
:|
Bones
-
It's still spring, Bones...
hope you've got something blooming in a little corner of your heart,
your own periwinkle blossom you can think of in the night.
love
Hops
-
It's still spring, Bones...
hope you've got something blooming in a little corner of your heart,
your own periwinkle blossom you can think of in the night.
love
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
The flowers are definitely blooming here! And the pollen is DEFINITELY FLYING AROUND!
Bones
-
I've been hearing on the news about that 7-year-old Russian boy who was essentially thrown away by his adoptive American mother! I couldn't help but think....only an N would stoop that L-O-W!!!!!
Bones
-
:|
Bones
-
Hiya Bones,
Am I on a touchy subject when I ask why you always stick in a
:|
Bones
to keep this thread near the top, and I so seldom see any advice from you to others????? Like I have been disabled for over 40 years and never hear from you, so if and when I read your posts, your physical problems sound 'different' from what I thought. Is it spina bifida? scoliosis? Would you please tell me about your life as a physically disabled person, so that I can better understand the problems you encounter. We never really have talked to one another!
Thank you,
Peace!
Izzy
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Hiya Bones,
Am I on a touchy subject when I ask why you always stick in a
:|
Bones
to keep this thread near the top, and I so seldom see any advice from you to others????? Like I have been disabled for over 40 years and never hear from you, so if and when I read your posts, your physical problems sound 'different' from what I thought. Is it spina bifida? scoliosis? Would you please tell me about your life as a physically disabled person, so that I can better understand the problems you encounter. We never really have talked to one another!
Thank you,
Peace!
Izzy
I was born with a combination of birth defects that include both spina bifida and scoliosis, (swayback and sideways). I also have malformed jaws and palate, making it a challenge to swallow the medications and supplements that the doctors told me I now have to take for osteoporosis. In addition, I have asthma and was recently diagnosed with a small blockage in my heart plus orthostatic hypotension. Combine that with PTSD, Clinical Depression, Seasonal Affective Disorder, and the possibility of Asperger's and I have a plateful. Because of Asperger's and PTSD, others have to earn my trust before I "let them in".
Bones
-
Well you do have a plateful. Are you in much pain all the time?
My mother had spina bifida and scoliosis too. Did you ever have surgery for yours?
-
Well you do have a plateful. Are you in much pain all the time?
My mother had spina bifida and scoliosis too. Did you ever have surgery for yours?
I do deal with pain. Doctors told me that I should have had a variety of corrective surgeries while I was still a child. NWomb-Donor ignored everything. Now, at my age, surgery is just too risky.
Bones
-
((((Bones))))
-
Thanks, (((((KatG))))
Bones
-
Just checking in to vent a little today.
I've established a page on Facebook offering my services, for a fee, to help others researching their family histories. I've gotten some excellent questions that I don't mind answering at all......and then there are the WEIRDIES......!!!! For example, one basically asked that I read her mind and guess what she wants to find. When I quoted what I would charge her, per hour, she hasn't been heard from since. A second one asked if I could do the work BEFORE she paid me! I explained how much it would cost to travel to the repository and that cost needs to be covered BEFORE I make the trip in addition to my retainer fee. The third, and most OBNOXIOUS one, RANTED at me for DARING to ask to be paid for my work. I pointed out that both my business page and the genealogy sites that I've been on have been mentioning fees all along and what those fees cover. Then he apologized.
This is NOT a new problem! When I was in high school, making crocheted jewelry, I've encountered TOTAL STRANGERS DEMANDING that I hand over my work to them FOR FREE!!!! With my then-teenage bravado, I would look them in the eye and blurt: "I DON'T KNOW YOU!"
URGHHHHH!!!!!!
Bones
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Landed in the Emergency Room this morning. Will talk later.
Bones
-
I'm really sorry to hear it, Bones.
Keep us posted.
Feel better fast.
love
Hops
-
Sorry to hear that ((Bones)).
Hope your feeling better. Keep us posted. seasons xo
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I'm really sorry to hear it, Bones.
Keep us posted.
Feel better fast.
love
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
Bones
-
Sorry to hear that ((Bones)).
Hope your feeling better. Keep us posted. seasons xo
Thanks, ((Seasons)).
Bones
-
Still resting today. What landed me in the E.R. yesterday was an attack of IBS. NOT fun by a long shot!
Bones
-
I'm hoping that the worse of the IBS is over now! I'm tired of it!
Bones
-
I hope the worse is over for you too, Bones!
Take care of yourself. seasons xo
-
I hope the worse is over for you too, Bones!
Take care of yourself. seasons xo
Thanks, Seasons!
Bones
-
Sorry ((((Bones)))
I hate that type of thing---awful!
Hope you are doing better, Friend! x o x Ami
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Sorry ((((Bones)))
I hate that type of thing---awful!
Hope you are doing better, Friend! x o x Ami
Thanks, (((((Ami))))))!
Bones
-
:|
Still recuperating.
Bones
-
Maybe one thing not tried? Love to you, Bones.
ginger tea
probiotics
meditation
fish oil
other natural anti-inflammatories
self hypnosis
Hops
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Maybe one thing not tried? Love to you, Bones.
ginger tea
probiotics
meditation
fish oil
other natural anti-inflammatories
self hypnosis
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
Did all that before.
Bones
-
meditating too?
every day, twice a day, for 20 minutes?
love,
Hops
-
meditating too?
every day, twice a day, for 20 minutes?
love,
Hops
Yup!
Bones
-
:|
Just checking in.
Bones
-
feeling better today Bones?
Hops
-
feeling better today Bones?
Hops
About so-so, today.
Bones
-
Landed back in the Emergency Room last night. Will talk later. :(
Bones
-
((HUGS))
Wishing you a better day!
seasons
-
((HUGS))
Wishing you a better day!
seasons
Thanks, ((Seasons)).
I'm tired of dealing with the Emergency Room! Last Wednesday, it was an attack of IBS. Last night, I started passing blood. The doctor told me he thinks it is either the kidney stones that were found last Wednesday and/or an infection. Either choice, N-O-T fun!
Bones
-
My GP returned my call yesterday afternoon and informed me that, due to the kidney stones that were found, I need to be referred to a urologist. Oh joy! What fun! ANOTHER medical expense! :P
Bones
-
:(
Bones
-
Gosh,
When it rains it pours doesn't it? I'm sending positive thoughts of a rainbow coming your way.
May your health take a turn for the better very soon. I get the medical expense stress, sad that has to be in the equation.
Healing thoughts, seasons
-
Gosh,
When it rains it pours doesn't it? I'm sending positive thoughts of a rainbow coming your way.
May your health take a turn for the better very soon. I get the medical expense stress, sad that has to be in the equation.
Healing thoughts, seasons
Thanks, Seasons!
Bones
-
Have an appointment with a urologist next week. :(
Bones
-
:(
Bones
-
(((Bones)))
Hope you appointment goes well Bones, and am praying that person discovers something simple, painless, quick and easy to fix.
Have you heard about Belgium Endives helping with the digestive tract? Recently read that it may help. They're yummy anyway.
Best of luck to you.
-
(((Bones)))
Hope you appointment goes well Bones, and am praying that person discovers something simple, painless, quick and easy to fix.
Have you heard about Belgium Endives helping with the digestive tract? Recently read that it may help. They're yummy anyway.
Best of luck to you.
Thanks, (((KatG))).
I've never been to a urologist before so I have NO idea what to expect!
Bones
-
It's not bad, Bones, don't worry.
I went last year--had to drink a ton of water for a scan and then later get "scoped". That was no worse than a Pap.
Breaaaaaaaathe...it'll be okay, dear.
hugs,
Hops
-
It's not bad, Bones, don't worry.
I went last year--had to drink a ton of water for a scan and then later get "scoped". That was no worse than a Pap.
Breaaaaaaaathe...it'll be okay, dear.
hugs,
Hops
Eeeeeeeeeeeee.......doesn't sound too pleasant either!
Bones
-
Managed to find a little humor today.
I was attending an awards ceremony for the men and women in emergency services when, during a quiet moment during the function, I heard the LOUDEST "raspberries" behind me! :shock: I turned around to see a baby, (about a year old), giving me the BIGGEST GRIN and I could see her first two teeth just recently poking through her gum! She was just TOO CUTE!!!!! :D She was also at the age where she is just now trying to figure out how to walk but hasn't quite gotten her two feet coordinated with each other yet, which was also cute to watch! Her grandma was trying to keep her entertained but, given that this function was taking place during her normal nap time, grandma was finding herself in a losing battle. (This ceremony actually lasted a little over three hours so this baby did very well considering!)
At one point, the baby wanted to get down on the floor but nobody was certain how really clean that floor could be so grandma did NOT want to take any chances! When the baby started getting fussy about not being allowed down, I tried to help by distracting her with shiny sparkly jewelry, glasses, and keys. The result? She surprised BOTH grandma and me by jumping into my lap! :shock: :shock: Her grandma told me that was a FIRST because normally, this baby is very shy around strangers! Somehow, babies seem to be attracted to me like a magnet! After a while, however, the baby decided she had enough and went back to grandma. I told the baby that she was too funny! :lol: That elicited another grin out of her!
I don't know what it is that attracts babies to me. This is the THIRD time that a baby, belonging to a total stranger, has made a bee-line straight for me and the baby's family have each told me that is the FIRST time that has ever occurred them! :shock:
Bones
-
It must be a good sign! Babies always gravitate to my hubby that way -- they can definitely tell when there is "good stuff" inside!
-
It must be a good sign! Babies always gravitate to my hubby that way -- they can definitely tell when there is "good stuff" inside!
I think you're right!
Bones
-
It must be a good sign! Babies always gravitate to my hubby that way -- they can definitely tell when there is "good stuff" inside!
I think you're right!
Bones
You're both right!
Here's to Good Stuff Bones! :D
-
Hi (((Bones)))) :P x o x Ami
-
It must be a good sign! Babies always gravitate to my hubby that way -- they can definitely tell when there is "good stuff" inside!
I think you're right!
Bones
You're both right!
Here's to Good Stuff Bones! :D
Thanks, KatG!
Bones
-
Hi (((Bones)))) :P x o x Ami
Hi (((Ami))))
Bones
-
Had a painful night last night with uncontrollable muscle spasms in my back. Birdbrain showed up in the middle of the situation, saw I was in a LOT of physical pain and COULD NOT RUN BACK OUT THE DOOR FAST ENOUGH! That's right, he left me there KNOWING what was going on!!! :P
Bones
-
Ugh, ((((Bones)))) Hope you're feeling better today. Worn
-
Ugh, ((((Bones)))) Hope you're feeling better today. Worn
Thanks, (((((Worn)))))).
Bones
-
You need a lovely gentle long massage from somebody genius with it, Bones.
Sending you one mentally!
Hope it's better tonight.
Hops
-
You need a lovely gentle long massage from somebody genius with it, Bones.
Sending you one mentally!
Hope it's better tonight.
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
I need that!
Bones
-
:(
Urologist says I gotta get scoped. Yuck!!!!
Bones
-
Does this sound toxic, Narcissistic or what?!?!?!?!? :shock:
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/dad-asks-payment-for-childhood.html
Bones
-
Eww.
Yes.
Hops
-
Eww.
Yes.
Hops
I wish the daughter, who wrote that letter, can contact us. Then she'll know she's not alone with dealing with an NSperm-Donor like that!
Bones
-
Did something different today that I have never done before. For the first time, I was able to attend the Sheep and Wool Festival in a neighboring county and enjoyed the opportunities to observe spinning wheels in action and checking out the sheep, lambs, goats, and alpacas.
Bones
-
I'm familiar with that particular fair, Bones!
What a delightful thing to do on this spring day.
I'm glad you were able to go and enjoy this.
Good for you. Some joy in Bones-land.
hugs,
Hops
-
I'm familiar with that particular fair, Bones!
What a delightful thing to do on this spring day.
I'm glad you were able to go and enjoy this.
Good for you. Some joy in Bones-land.
hugs,
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
I came home with a lap-loom, a drop spindle, and some roving to play with!
Bones
-
Feeling a little better today.
I went downtown to the National Archives to do some genealogy research. While I was waiting at the corner for the light to change to walk back to the Metro station, I saw something that had me grinning! A tourist bus approached the intersection with the destination sign saying: "North Beach via (my ancestor's family name)!!!!" Now what are the odds of seeing that, right outside the National Archives, after having some fun with genealogy?!?!?
Bones
-
Just checking in. :|
Bones
-
Mother's Day is coming and the PTSD is acting up BAD! :P
Bones
-
Ugh, I hear you Bones. Hang in there, Worn
-
Ugh, I hear you Bones. Hang in there, Worn
Thanks, Worn!
Bones
-
Trying to take my mind off of this particular weekend by attending an outdoor Spring festival today and tomorrow.
Bones
-
Got the chance to join a Drumming Group this morning. Now I'm finding muscles I never knew I had!
Bones
-
Just checking in. I hope that the PTSD is not too bad considering what today is.
Bones
-
Feeling really aggravated with Mr. Bird-Brain. Today, he informs me that his phone is not working and he hasn't gotten around to having a technician come in and look at it. (AND HE WILL NOT GET A CELL PHONE!) I asked him how could he be contacted in an emergency. His response? "Just send an e-mail!" I told him that if I have to be rushed to the Emergency Room AGAIN, there is NO FRIGGIN' WAY I am going to get on the Internet to send him an e-mail that he usually IGNORES for several days until he "gets 'round to it" later. DAMN!!!! :P
Bones
-
I think Mr. Bird-Brain is a Passive-Aggressive N! :P
Bones
-
Morning, Bones!
I wasn't here last year on Mother's day -- but I sure am glad it is over!
sigh
Sorry about Passive Aggressive Bird Brain -- can't live with them -- can't live without them
Hope your week improves as it goes along!
Biddy
-
Morning, Bones!
I wasn't here last year on Mother's day -- but I sure am glad it is over!
sigh
Sorry about Passive Aggressive Bird Brain -- can't live with them -- can't live without them
Hope your week improves as it goes along!
Biddy
Thanks, Biddy!
I'm trying!
Bones
-
Had a bit of a rough night last night due to dealing with spasms again. I think I freaked out Mr. Bird-brain when he asked me about the type of medical procedure I have to go through next week, (cystoscope). When I described that procedure from a MALE perspective, using anatomically correct terms.....he RAN!!!!!!! :?
Bones
-
Feeling BLAH today! :P
Bones
-
Bones, I was soooo delighted to think of you drumming!
Imagine you'll soon be pounding those blahs away.
Endorphins to ya!
hugs
Hops
-
oh yeah -- if men had to have babies -- none of us would be here!
You'll get a little sedation -- or not?
Biddy
-
Bones, I was soooo delighted to think of you drumming!
Imagine you'll soon be pounding those blahs away.
Endorphins to ya!
hugs
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
Bones
-
oh yeah -- if men had to have babies -- none of us would be here!
You'll get a little sedation -- or not?
Biddy
True!
He hasn't experienced kidney stones.......yet!
Bones
-
Still feeling BLAH! :P
Bones
-
:|
Bones
-
Feeling down in the dumps today.
Bones
-
:|
Bones
-
When's your cytoscopy, Bones?
I found the anticipation a lot harder than the moment.
Hope it's soon behind you and you're feeling better.
love,
Hops
-
When's your cytoscopy, Bones?
I found the anticipation a lot harder than the moment.
Hope it's soon behind you and you're feeling better.
love,
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
It's coming up this Thursday. :P
Bones
-
I've been having a series of disturbing dreams where I am always the misfit and alone no matter where I am.
Bones
-
Hi sweetie.
YOU FIT.
Right here in this big ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) hug.
It's not true, what your subconscious is stirring around in your dreams.
It's just id-muck and it's not real and it's not a judgment of you.
You've been having a really stressful time and it's got to feel lonely, without much support.
Pretend I'm going along Thursday to hold your hand and remind you just breathe, it's only uncomfortable for a while and not painful and you're going to be okay.
love,
Hops
-
My Boss is out of the office all day on Thursday -- I'll pray for you throughout the day and send positve "vibes" your way -- if it don't help -- it can't hurt!
Love,
Biddy
-
Hi sweetie.
YOU FIT.
Right here in this big ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) hug.
It's not true, what your subconscious is stirring around in your dreams.
It's just id-muck and it's not real and it's not a judgment of you.
You've been having a really stressful time and it's got to feel lonely, without much support.
Pretend I'm going along Thursday to hold your hand and remind you just breathe, it's only uncomfortable for a while and not painful and you're going to be okay.
love,
Hops
Thanks, ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Hops)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))!
I appreciate it!!!!
Bones
-
My Boss is out of the office all day on Thursday -- I'll pray for you throughout the day and send positve "vibes" your way -- if it don't help -- it can't hurt!
Love,
Biddy
Thanks, ((((((((((Biddy)))))))))))!
Bones
-
A girlfriend of mine and I have this long time thing where if one needs or requests it, the other will 'hum' for them, wherever they are, at the time needed.
I will be humming for you tomorrow Bones.
-
A girlfriend of mine and I have this long time thing where if one needs or requests it, the other will 'hum' for them, wherever they are, at the time needed.
I will be humming for you tomorrow Bones.
Thanks, KatG!
I'm counting down the hours to my 1:00 PM appointment today.
Bones
-
I hope everyone is kind and gentle with you! Good luck -- you're in our thoughts and prayers today.
Love,
Biddy
-
I hope everyone is kind and gentle with you! Good luck -- you're in our thoughts and prayers today.
Love,
Biddy
Thanks, Biddy!
Bones
-
I managed to get through it and now I'm a little sore. I have to go back to see the urologist in two weeks to discuss the results.
Bones
-
What a relief to have that over! I hope they are able to help you.
Biddy
-
What a relief to have that over! I hope they are able to help you.
Biddy
Thanks, Biddy!
Bones
-
Good job, Bones.
Fingers crossed everything's rapidly treated and you're feeling better.
xo
Hops
-
Good job, Bones.
Fingers crossed everything's rapidly treated and you're feeling better.
xo
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
I'm so tired of dealing with so much medical stuff in such a short period of time.
Bones
-
:|
Bones
-
I'm really sorry, Bones.
You've had so much physical pain and stress, on top of everything else.
Chin up, hon.
I hope you're drumming at least once a week!
You deserve that wonderfully hypnotic communal blessing......drumming rocks!
Hops
-
I'm really sorry, Bones.
You've had so much physical pain and stress, on top of everything else.
Chin up, hon.
I hope you're drumming at least once a week!
You deserve that wonderfully hypnotic communal blessing......drumming rocks!
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
I haven't had the opportunity to do any more drumming since, even though I'm still looking. For now, I'm focusing on rehearsals for a one-act play which helps to take my mind off of the physical ailments.
Bones
-
Went to a community health screening this morning that was sponsored by AARP and Walgreens as part of their Wellness Tour. Within a few minutes, I realized that something was missing. There were two Deaf acquaintances there but NO certified interpreter and the screeners were just simply yelling out numbers! When I asked where are the interpreters as there are Deaf people sitting here, I got a blank stare and the verbal response of: "Huh?"
To make sure my acquaintances were not left out or overlooked, I started interpreting for them even though I am not certified and had considered myself "retired" from that. This is NOT the first time that the Deaf Community has been overlooked and forgotten! I would have thought that by the 21st Century, things would have improved. FRUSTRATING!!!!!!
Bones
-
:|
Bones
-
:|
Feeling tired.
Bones
-
Feeling sad about Gary Coleman dying yesterday. From what I read, he was also NC with his parents. Sounds as if his mother was an N who wanted absolute, total, unquestioned CONTROL over his life.
Bones
-
I think I found a sign of growth recently.
I'm involved with a play that also includes a Deaf actor. The producer and director have never encountered this situation before so we are all on a learning curve while we work together on this challenge. Because I have sign language skills, the producer and director asked me to interpret all the one-act plays for the audience for two hours each day for three days. I told them that I have to decline because my current medical issues would cause too many complications, (e.g. collapsing in public from hypotension that I do NOT want to do!) While I was saying "no", my emotional reaction was fearful and I was thinking that I was going to get thrown out of the play because I had to say "no" to a request. (Goes to show how much damage a Narcissistic FOO can do.) Fortunately, the director and producer understood perfectly, accepted my decision, and have kept me in the play!
It feels good to be able to clearly state that I need to take care of my health and have my statement accepted and embraced by others! :D
Bones
-
Bones
-
Bones
-
I think I found a sign of growth recently.
I'm involved with a play that also includes a Deaf actor. The producer and director have never encountered this situation before so we are all on a learning curve while we work together on this challenge. Because I have sign language skills, the producer and director asked me to interpret all the one-act plays for the audience for two hours each day for three days. I told them that I have to decline because my current medical issues would cause too many complications, (e.g. collapsing in public from hypotension that I do NOT want to do!) While I was saying "no", my emotional reaction was fearful and I was thinking that I was going to get thrown out of the play because I had to say "no" to a request. (Goes to show how much damage a Narcissistic FOO can do.) Fortunately, the director and producer understood perfectly, accepted my decision, and have kept me in the play!
It feels good to be able to clearly state that I need to take care of my health and have my statement accepted and embraced by others! :D Bones
Wow Bones! As one who knows about those fear filled emotional reactions, that is huge growth!
Good for you and Congratulations! :D
-
I think I found a sign of growth recently.
I'm involved with a play that also includes a Deaf actor. The producer and director have never encountered this situation before so we are all on a learning curve while we work together on this challenge. Because I have sign language skills, the producer and director asked me to interpret all the one-act plays for the audience for two hours each day for three days. I told them that I have to decline because my current medical issues would cause too many complications, (e.g. collapsing in public from hypotension that I do NOT want to do!) While I was saying "no", my emotional reaction was fearful and I was thinking that I was going to get thrown out of the play because I had to say "no" to a request. (Goes to show how much damage a Narcissistic FOO can do.) Fortunately, the director and producer understood perfectly, accepted my decision, and have kept me in the play!
It feels good to be able to clearly state that I need to take care of my health and have my statement accepted and embraced by others! :D Bones
Wow Bones! As one who knows about those fear filled emotional reactions, that is huge growth!
Good for you and Congratulations! :D
Thanks, KatG!
Even though this experience is outside of my comfort zone, and a little scary, it feels good at the same time.
Bones
-
Now the question remains...where and how to find the interpreters we need given there is no money to pay them?
Bones
-
Having computer problems. :P
Bones
-
Also dealing with adolescent narcissism...for real!!!! The play that I'm in has other actors who are teenagers. If I remember what I learned in psychology class, adolescents are naturally self-centered, self-absorbed, and have "magical thinking" meaning that if they don't want bad things to happen, then it will never happen. Even though I've never been a mother or a teacher, I am finding myself in the parental role explaining how their actions impact others around them. It sure taxes my patience and, at the same time, I can't fault them for being normal, healthy teenagers!
Bones
-
Sounds like fun...wait, did you say teenagers? AAAAHHHHHH!!!!! Run! ;) Worn
-
Sounds like fun...wait, did you say teenagers? AAAAHHHHHH!!!!! Run! ;) Worn
LOL!!!! :lol:
One of these teenagers is taller than I am and more developed than I am, which gave me the impression that she was about 17 or 18 years old. Imagine my jaw hitting the floor when I recently learned that she is ONLY THIRTEEN!!!!!!!! :shock: :shock:
WHAT ARE THEY FEEDING THESE KIDS NOW-A-DAYS?!?!?!?!? :shock: :shock: :shock:
WHOA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
Bones
-
Hormones.
In meat, in food, in plastics everywhere, peed into the water supply...
:(
Hops
-
Hormones.
In meat, in food, in plastics everywhere, peed into the water supply...
:(
Hops
I'm thinking the same thing!
Bones
-
I couldn't help following the aftermath of Gary Coleman's death and the subsequent behaviors of his adoptive parents. They even went so far as to attempt to interfere and overrule his wishes regarding his funeral arrangements and attempted to sue for possession of his body!!!! No wonder he went NC with them!!!! :P Stupid Narcs!!!!!!
Bones
-
Last night's rehearsal was pretty interesting! Apparently, the director for our group reached the end of his rope with the Deaf actor of our troupe. (I might have previously mentioned that the Deaf teenager had played "hooky" because he simply didn't feel like attending rehearsal.) I don't know what communication took place between the director and this kid via e-mail the night before but we had to meet in a private room where the director read this kid "the riot act" and gave him the ultimatum...IN OR OUT! The expression on the kid's face was like this emoticon: :shock:, but he got the message for the most part. At the end of the technical rehearsal, when the director was critiquing each of us, this kid started to interrupt to ask if he could leave then stopped in mid-sentence when he saw the expression on the director's face that basically said: "Don't you dare interrupt me again!" I'm wondering what tonight's technical rehearsal is going to be like.
Bones
-
Tuesday night's rehearsal was a bit better even though we are still having trouble with the audio guy getting our sound cues inserted correctly. Turns out that the audio guy did not get a single copy of anyone's scripts until Monday night, June 7th!!!!! :? Opening night is June 11th!!!!!! (BTW, all copies of scripts had been given to the producer to give to the techies L-O-N-G before this week!)
When the director and I were discussing, with the producer, what our play needed to get the audio cues placed correctly and possibly shortened because the sound was lasting too long the producer reacted to the director's suggestions with A GUILT TRIP!!!!!!! WTF?!?!?!?!?!? :? How DYSFUNCTIONAL is THAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Bones
-
Wednesday night's rehearsal was a little better. The audio cues were all in the right places. The kids' attention spans created some problems as they were late with their stage entries twice as a result of goofing around in the Green Room. They're still learning.....
Bones
-
There is one situation that occurred last night that has me scratching my head and pondering the following question:
When does normal healthy adolescent narcissism become TOXIC NARCISSISM?
To illustrate the above question, here is what happened last night while we were in the Green Room...
I was talking with one of the older teenagers who was asking me questions about genealogy, describing what little family history he knew, asking how he could learn more about his own history, and so forth. The other older teenager, who is the same age as the first one walks up to us and I included him in our conversation and described the first teenager's family history and how fascinating it is. The second teenager blatantly demonstrated that he found this topic boring and proceeded to talk about himself and all the FAMOUS people HE KNOWS and bragged about how these FAMOUS people are HIS friends! :?
I think I started spotting some RED FLAGS!
What do you think?
Bones
-
:|
Bones
-
Voiceless today.
Bones
-
Bones
-
There is one situation that occurred last night that has me scratching my head and pondering the following question:
When does normal healthy adolescent narcissism become TOXIC NARCISSISM?
To illustrate the above question, here is what happened last night while we were in the Green Room...
I was talking with one of the older teenagers who was asking me questions about genealogy, describing what little family history he knew, asking how he could learn more about his own history, and so forth. The other older teenager, who is the same age as the first one walks up to us and I included him in our conversation and described the first teenager's family history and how fascinating it is. The second teenager blatantly demonstrated that he found this topic boring and proceeded to talk about himself and all the FAMOUS people HE KNOWS and bragged about how these FAMOUS people are HIS friends! Confused
I think I started spotting some RED FLAGS!
What do you think?
Bones
Hi Bones,
I feel teens are closer to toxic than ever. This encounter doesn't surprise me at all, sad to say.
I think technology has played a big role in the rift of preteens/teens, it's all about me! So yeah I see a red flag too. : O
It's wonderful to hear about your play. It sounds exciting. Enjoy!!!
How are you feeling?
seasons
-
There is one situation that occurred last night that has me scratching my head and pondering the following question:
When does normal healthy adolescent narcissism become TOXIC NARCISSISM?
To illustrate the above question, here is what happened last night while we were in the Green Room...
I was talking with one of the older teenagers who was asking me questions about genealogy, describing what little family history he knew, asking how he could learn more about his own history, and so forth. The other older teenager, who is the same age as the first one walks up to us and I included him in our conversation and described the first teenager's family history and how fascinating it is. The second teenager blatantly demonstrated that he found this topic boring and proceeded to talk about himself and all the FAMOUS people HE KNOWS and bragged about how these FAMOUS people are HIS friends! Confused
I think I started spotting some RED FLAGS!
What do you think?
Bones
Hi Bones,
I feel teens are closer to toxic than ever. This encounter doesn't surprise me at all, sad to say.
I think technology has played a big role in the rift of preteens/teens, it's all about me! So yeah I see a red flag too. : O
It's wonderful to hear about your play. It sounds exciting. Enjoy!!!
How are you feeling?
seasons
Thanks, Seasons!
The play finished its run on Sunday, June 13th.
Physically, I'm feeling a little tired and emotionally, I feel drained, because I caught bf in a blatant lie that finally made me realize that what I thought was a relationship had been nothing but a sham without any substance on his part. It finally drove home the following point for me:
Narcissists are NOTHING but FACADES WITHOUT ANY SUBSTANCE!
The flats on the stage were more genuine than he had ever been. It hurts and, at the same time, I am learning to recognize what is healthy and what is not. I finally understood that I have to take care of myself and my health because he is simply "NOT THERE".
Bones
-
Bones,
I'm sorry for the sadness and loss (of a hope).
But GOOD FOR YOU for befriending reality:
I have to take care of myself and my health because he is simply "NOT THERE".
Painful as it is, there's nothing ultimately healthier than accepting what is.
That frees you to concentrate on changes YOU can make.
And you can/should continue in your life, to seek and find support, help, friendship...that ain't over.
But, ow. I'm so sorry.
It will get better, hon.
love,
Hops
-
Bones,
I'm sorry for the sadness and loss (of a hope).
But GOOD FOR YOU for befriending reality:
I have to take care of myself and my health because he is simply "NOT THERE".
Painful as it is, there's nothing ultimately healthier than accepting what is.
That frees you to concentrate on changes YOU can make.
And you can/should continue in your life, to seek and find support, help, friendship...that ain't over.
But, ow. I'm so sorry.
It will get better, hon.
love,
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
I really appreciate this!
Bones
-
I'm also feeling very cranky, right now, as a result of the emotional fallout with the NIdiot. So much so that I got very cranky with one of my distant cousins who "forgot" and sent me ANOTHER chain-mail e-mail after I had specifically asked him SEVERAL times to PLEASE STOP FORWARDING CHAIN-MAIL TO MY INBOX!
He has a history of sending me politically-charged e-mails and even racist jokes that are all chain-mail. I had politely told him that I am NOT a republican and to please stop forwarding chain-mail that push Bush/Cheney agendas and criticizing Obama. Then, when he forwarded a chain-mail racist joke that used the "N-Word" as the "punchline", I REALLY cranked out on him and reminded him that I had previously told him that I AM PART AFRICAN-AMERICAN and I do NOT appreciate being called the N-Word! He was appropriately embarrassed when he realized he had committed a major OOPS! :oops:
A little while ago, he "forgot" again, and forwarded ANOTHER politically-charged chain-mail that criticized Obama, again, and praised Bush. I became REALLY cranky at him and fired off an e-mail reminding him that, via our common patriarch, whether he likes it or not, Obama is a cousin and he needs to show more respect to family members! I got another apology. I'm wondering how long it's going to take before my cousin "forgets" again and blows up my InBox with more forwarded unwanted chain-mail! Sheesh!!!!!
Bones
-
NIdiot woke me up with an early morning phone call attempting to pretend that everything was "back to normal"! :P I hung up on him!
Bones
-
Emotional pain brings out the worst character defects! :P
Bones
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/grandson-victim-of-mother-daughter-estrangement.html
What do you think of the above?
Bones
-
I'm feeling REALLY CRANKY AND CRABBY this morning! Now I find myself dealing with not ONE male IDIOT but TWO!!!! :P
While dealing with NIdiot #1 who just DOESN'T GET IT about how his behaviors hurt others, I received a letter, this morning, from a Narcissistic Ex informing me that he is coming to the high school reunion WITHOUT his wife and including his phone number in the letter with a not-so-subtle hint for me to call him! :P (He will get NOTHING!!!!!)
I'm convinced that Narcissistic men are ALL IDIOTS!!!!!!!! :P :x :P
BLEAH!!!!!!!!!
Bones
-
NIdiot showed up in the middle of the day, acting as if everything is back to normal and expected me to give him a hug and a kiss. He got a door in his face! :P
Bones
-
Null
Bones
-
I look back on NIdiot's past behaviors and realized that his lack of empathy should have been a HUGE RED FLAG from the very beginning ten years ago! If only I knew then what I know now.
Bones
-
NOT feeling good today!
Bones
-
I'm sorry, Bones.
Are things harder, emotionally, on weekends?
I used to find that was a pattern for me...
love,
Hops
-
I'm sorry, Bones.
Are things harder, emotionally, on weekends?
I used to find that was a pattern for me...
love,
Hops
That plus I had another attack of spastic colitis while I was having dinner with some other friends. NOT a fun way to have an evening out of the house.
Bones
-
I'm feeling a LOT of different emotions today and NO WORDS to describe any of it!
Bones
-
:|
-
Feeling voiceless today.
-
:|
-
:|
-
Feeling blah....................
-
:|
-
What's the latest, Bones?
What about the play? BF? Drumming?
Summer gets SO hot.
Hops
-
What's the latest, Bones?
What about the play? BF? Drumming?
Summer gets SO hot.
Hops
Hi, Hops!
I'm still searching for drumming opportunities but no luck yet! As for bf, he's still in the DOGHOUSE! I've been trying to take care of myself by going to the pool when it gets REALLY HOT!
Bones
-
:|
-
Fibromyalgia, today. :(
-
Check out "Dear Abby" for June 30, 2010:
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20101231
Bones
-
:|
-
Anybody like crocheting?
Bones
-
www.mnh.si.edu/exhibits/hreef/index.html
-
:|
-
:|
Uhhh..., Happy 4th? Or maybe OK, 4th of July, just another day...
For me it's just another day, no BBQ for me.
-
No BBQ for me either. Managed to find a drumming opportunity though......
Bones
-
:|
-
Bones, thank you for the hyperbolic crochet reef link...it was very beautiful.
Stunning.
(I posted this before but it didn't appear for some reason.)
And I'm glad you found a new opportunity for drumming!
love
Hops
-
Bones, thank you for the hyperbolic crochet reef link...it was very beautiful.
Stunning.
(I posted this before but it didn't appear for some reason.)
And I'm glad you found a new opportunity for drumming!
love
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
BTW, I'm crocheting some contributions for the reef. Given that my Dad used to work for the Smithsonian's Museum of Natural History, I'd like to do something in his memory.
Bones
-
:|
-
During this past holiday weekend, I was out with a group of friends watching the fireworks. As one of them was driving me home, he asked me about NDoofus, (he had previously met her at other social functions), and I explained that I had to go NC with her, giving him a few of the highlights of her Narcissistic behaviors towards me. He commented that when he first met her, he got a VERY NEGATIVE vibe from her that he characterized as: "QUEEN OF THE VAMPIRES"!!!
That sounds about right!
Bones
-
:|
-
:|
-
Had nightmares last night of being trapped with NWomb-Donor and NGC! :P
-
Hi, Bones, hope all is well.
-
Hi, Bones, hope all is well.
Not quite.
-
:|
-
depression :(
-
I'm sorry ((((((((Bones)))))))))).
(I figure that's what :| means but I never know what to say in response.)
Hugs anyway.
I hope it lifts soon.
I hope you can drum it away.
xo
Hops
-
I'm sorry ((((((((Bones)))))))))).
(I figure that's what :| means but I never know what to say in response.)
Hugs anyway.
I hope it lifts soon.
I hope you can drum it away.
xo
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
I haven't been feeling well for days and don't know how to verbalize it.
Bones
-
((((Bones))))
-
((((Bones))))
(((((KatG)))))))))))))
Bones
-
The other day, in my support group for disabilities, I attempted to discuss being a survivor of a Narcissistic Rage-aholic Womb-Donor and how she treated me and my multiple disabilities. It quickly became apparent that the group facilitator had no clue what I was talking about, did NOT feel comfortable with the topic of discussion, and shut down the topic by adjourning the group's meeting. She can't understand why I can't just simply let it go and "get over it"! I WISH THERE WAS A KNOWLEDGEABLE THERAPIST WHO UNDERSTANDS THIS ISSUE IN MY HOME AREA!!!!!! :evil:
Bones
-
:|
-
Feeling cranky this morning! :x
-
Needed some time to think and I think I recently encountered another N.
I'm part of a committee to organize our high school reunion and I have been working on locating as many of our former classmates as possible. The decision to have a reunion did not occur until January of this year as many of us are of an age where multiple health issues, (both personal as well as with family members), are a factor. I found several former classmates on FB and one of them suggested I request to be "friended" by another (much older) alumnus who claimed to be able to assist in searching for various classmates. I followed this person's advice and then found myself being deluged with e-mails from this (much older) individual with a stream of non-stop criticisms of how we SHOULD have started over a year ago, how we SHOULD know ALL of our classmates' personal information, (including the full names of their parents and siblings), and contact the siblings of our classmates and went on about how HE had been victimized by a clique back when HE was in grade school about FIFTY YEARS AGO. I basically ignored this unsolicited advice as our committee has done just fine locating our classmates ever since our graduation. (We are also aware that many of our former classmates are scattered all over the world, some have recently died, others were divorced/widowed/remarried and changed their names at least once or twice.) This (much older) individual then started to complain about how we were ignoring HIM as he is SUCH AN EXPERT on class reunions. (By this point, I started to smell the stench of a Narcissist.)
The final straw for me was when he started sending me e-mails complaining that he found my business page for my home-based business and that HE DID NOT APPROVE OF THIS GARBAGE! At that point, I had HAD ENOUGH because I felt he was talking out of his A$$! That's when I edited my "Friend List" on FB and DE-FRIENDED this jerk! With "friends" like that I don't need enemies!
Bones
-
Feeling Voiceless today.
-
oh it is sulfurous sometimes, that aroma...
I hear you, Bones.
Do you feel stronger when you do N-spotting or does it feel worse afterward?
xo
Hops
-
oh it is sulfurous sometimes, that aroma...
I hear you, Bones.
Do you feel stronger when you do N-spotting or does it feel worse afterward?
xo
Hops
A little bit of both! N's really do pluck my LAST NERVE!!
Bones
-
Anyone else identify?
-
The other day, in my support group for disabilities, I attempted to discuss being a survivor of a Narcissistic Rage-aholic Womb-Donor and how she treated me and my multiple disabilities. It quickly became apparent that the group facilitator had no clue what I was talking about, did NOT feel comfortable with the topic of discussion, and shut down the topic by adjourning the group's meeting. She can't understand why I can't just simply let it go and "get over it"! I WISH THERE WAS A KNOWLEDGEABLE THERAPIST WHO UNDERSTANDS THIS ISSUE IN MY HOME AREA!!!!!! :evil:
Bones
That's sounds really frustrating.
-
The other day, in my support group for disabilities, I attempted to discuss being a survivor of a Narcissistic Rage-aholic Womb-Donor and how she treated me and my multiple disabilities. It quickly became apparent that the group facilitator had no clue what I was talking about, did NOT feel comfortable with the topic of discussion, and shut down the topic by adjourning the group's meeting. She can't understand why I can't just simply let it go and "get over it"! I WISH THERE WAS A KNOWLEDGEABLE THERAPIST WHO UNDERSTANDS THIS ISSUE IN MY HOME AREA!!!!!! :evil:
Bones
That's sounds really frustrating.
Oh-h-h-h-h-h-, IT IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bones
-
Managed to get out of the house and go for a ride on the C & O Canal on a barge pulled by two mules.
Bones
-
Tired
-
Managed to get out of the house and go for a ride on the C & O Canal on a barge pulled by two mules.
Bones
Hi, Bones, I've never been to the C & O Canal, I've only seen photos, it is quaint with cobblestoned bridges and paths and feels very old-world-like correct? Wait, this is where you get into a boat that goes down a skinny river, the boat has a rope on it, there are mules that are walking on the riverbank that have the rope tied onto them and it pulls the boat through the water. How long did the trip take?
Seems like something from a romace novel.
-
Managed to get out of the house and go for a ride on the C & O Canal on a barge pulled by two mules.
Bones
Hi, Bones, I've never been to the C & O Canal, I've only seen photos, it is quaint with cobblestoned bridges and paths and feels very old-world-like correct? Wait, this is where you get into a boat that goes down a skinny river, the boat has a rope on it, there are mules that are walking on the riverbank that have the rope tied onto them and it pulls the boat through the water. How long did the trip take?
Seems like something from a romance novel.
The ride was only for an hour and it was a LOT of fun! Those two mules were cute!
Bones
-
Dealing with muscle spasms today.
-
Had another nightmare last night of being trapped with the N's! :P
-
Does this sound familiar?
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20101231
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:|
-
Today's column sounds familiar!
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20100725
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Had nasty thunderstorm, with microburst, hit around here and tear up a lot of trees! After almost 24 hours, finally got electricity back.
-
Hi Bones
x o x o Ami
-
Hi Bones
x o x o Ami
Hi, Ami!
Missed ya!
Where ya been?
-
Love you, Bonesie.
I became passionate about a field of study and got on that Board but the same human passions are there LOL
x o x o Ami
-
Love you, Bonesie.
I became passionate about a field of study and got on that Board but the same human passions are there LOL
x o x o Ami
OK
-
Bonesie
I feel honored that you missed me. I did not mean to make light of that. I wrote you a long post and it got erased.
x o x o Ami
-
Bonesie
I feel honored that you missed me. I did not mean to make light of that. I wrote you a long post and it got erased.
x o x o Ami
O. I. C.
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All I can say is WOW!!!!! :shock:
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20100728
-
Not feeling too good this morning and side effects from the anti-spasmodic doesn't help much! :P
-
:|
-
Hi Bones -- i've not checked in in awhile -- try to follow along -- etc. I noticed that you dreamed that you were trapped with the ns.... since my mom has died in Feb -- i have dreams that shadowy figures tell me that I'm not done with her and that soon I will have to track her down and once again keep the world safe from her -- whacko - huhn?
Enjoyed reading about the C&O as that is in our back yard as well -- sounds like your summer is going okay -- all things considered?
Love,
Biddy
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Hi Bones -- i've not checked in in awhile -- try to follow along -- etc. I noticed that you dreamed that you were trapped with the ns.... since my mom has died in Feb -- i have dreams that shadowy figures tell me that I'm not done with her and that soon I will have to track her down and once again keep the world safe from her -- whacko - huhn?
Enjoyed reading about the C&O as that is in our back yard as well -- sounds like your summer is going okay -- all things considered?
Love,
Biddy
Thanks, ((((((Biddy)))))))!!!
I've been having my ups and downs lately. Some days have been better than others.
Bones
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Hi Bones,
I thought I posted to you earlier (just saying I'm very sorry you're not feeling well) but I was at work and distracted and I must've not hit "Post".
I sure hope you feel better.
And at least it's not quite so HOT outside.
May those spasms (and their antidote's side effects) pass very soon.
hugs
Hops
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Hi Bones,
I thought I posted to you earlier (just saying I'm very sorry you're not feeling well) but I was at work and distracted and I must've not hit "Post".
I sure hope you feel better.
And at least it's not quite so HOT outside.
May those spasms (and their antidote's side effects) pass very soon.
hugs
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
It has been rough lately!
Bones
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I was trying to find the recent thread that discussed religious abuse but can't find it. Some of my PTSD stems from that too.
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:|
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Depression
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Saw the lung specialist this morning, scheduled to see the general practitioner this Friday, the VR counselor next week and the dentist later this month. NOT fun! :P
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And more spasms today! :P
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:P :(
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hope you don't mind, I'm keeping you in prayer
Biddy
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hope you don't mind, I'm keeping you in prayer
Biddy
Thanks, Biddy!
I'm feeling exasperated today!
Yesterday, I saw my general practitioner and he asked me if I had any arrangements in place if I ever become incapacitated. I told him I had NO idea how to go about arranging that because: (1) I have no children, (2) my immediate family are all dead, (I wasn't about to discuss the dynamics of having a Narcissistic GC brother that has consistently proven that he CANNOT BE TRUSTED WITH ANYTHING), and the friends in this geographic area don't stay in one place for long. As for the Idiot who acts like a boyfriend one day and a little boy the next, he refuses to discuss ANYTHING that requires ADULT ATTENTION! When I attempt to discuss critical issues, he either clams up and shuts down, or he responds with: "I dunno", or "I'll get 'round to it later", which does NOT help the situation!
Today, he asked me what my doctor said and when I mentioned the doctor's question to me, Idiot started yelling: "Why did he ask you THAT?!?!?!?" I pointed out the above facts PLUS there is the family medical history, genetics, AND my own ongoing medical crap! Then I asked him: "What do you expect me to do?!?!?" His response? "I dunno! I'll get 'round to it later!"
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRARRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :P
Bones
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:P :(
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Tomorrow morning -- meeting with Voc. Rehab.
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Looks like my Voc. Rehab. case is closed! :P
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:(
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:|
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:(
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Tired :(
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20100815
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Dealing with PTSD. :P
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Hi Bones
Sorry I have not been here. Found a wonderful hobby and been involved with that.
I am thinking about you !!!!!!
x o x
Ami
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Hi Bones
Sorry I have not been here. Found a wonderful hobby and been involved with that.
I am thinking about you !!!!!!
x o x
Ami
Thanks, Ami!
What kind of hobby is it?
I've been trying to keep busy with genealogy, crocheting, and volunteering with the community garden across the street from my home.
Bones
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Pouring rain and flood warnings around my geographic area! :P
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I admire your determination to be active regardless Bones...and all the wonderful things you've explored.
Super kudos on the community gardening!
What does Voc Rehab do and how did it go?
Wishing you the best, keep your powder dry,
Hops
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I admire your determination to be active regardless Bones...and all the wonderful things you've explored.
Super kudos on the community gardening!
What does Voc Rehab do and how did it go?
Wishing you the best, keep your powder dry,
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
Voc. Rehab. decided to close my case file until they hear back from R.I.S.E. I really don't have faith in Voc. Rehab. anymore.
Bones
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Dental appointment this morning and I have to go back next week! :P
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The letter about the "GotRocks" makes me think that either the "GotRocks" have rocks for brains and/or are Narcissists!
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20100820
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Is it just me or does it appear that villains in movies are Narcissists?
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Hi Bones,
The Pringles clan in Anne of Avonlea sure seem to fit your observation. I mention Anne of Avonlea because I recently saw the series for the first time.
tt
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Hi Bones,
The Pringles clan in Anne of Avonlea sure seem to fit your observation. I mention Anne of Avonlea because I recently saw the series for the first time.
tt
Cool! I'll need to get the DVD to watch that.
I was recently watching a DVD of the Disney movie, Tarzan, and the villain, Clayton, seemed to fit the Narcissistic mold when he was bragging that "he was born for Africa and Africa was created for him"!!! When I heard that line all I could do was roll my eyes! :roll:
Bones
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Feeling really ANGRY and UPSET this morning! :P
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:evil:
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20100825
Looks like today's "Dear Abby" is all about Narcissists!
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Another round with the dentist! :P
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Just blogging today while working on a crochet project.
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Checking in. :|
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Participated in a Search and Rescue Drill today. One of the things that the trainers emphatically stressed repeatedly was that personal safety is paramount and if something was too risky to do, then DON'T do it! One drill involved encountering a nest of swarming bees! One other person, and myself, are allergic to bee stings so our participation was limited during this particular exercise. Because of this, I got "ragged on" on the ride home and I was TOO TIRED to argue about it! :P
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Interesting true story Bones of one farmer's encounter with swarming bees. They attacked the farmer's handyman first. The farmer from a distance saw that they had taken him down. The farmer, thinking quickly, went to his tool shed and got the blow torch and started zapping the bees around the handyman and himself. It worked. Both were treated and released after a few hours in ER.
tt
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They were lucky that they didn't go into anaphylactic shock! :shock:
Bones
===============================================================================
Interesting true story Bones of one farmer's encounter with swarming bees. They attacked the farmer's handyman first. The farmer from a distance saw that they had taken him down. The farmer, thinking quickly, went to his tool shed and got the blow torch and started zapping the bees around the handyman and himself. It worked. Both were treated and released after a few hours in ER.
tt
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I attempted to upload a photo of what the palette pile looked like but the JPEG file was too large. :P
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:|
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Is it just me or do some grown men persist in acting like little boys when it comes to taking responsibility? :P
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:|
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I've got two appointments next week...another dental for scaling and then the urologist. UGH! :P
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:|
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I'm sorry about all the physical stuff, Bones.
I know it's harder to keep your chin up with all that.
Let the times between be big...enjoy this early fall air!
hugs
Hops
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I'm sorry about all the physical stuff, Bones.
I know it's harder to keep your chin up with all that.
Let the times between be big...enjoy this early fall air!
hugs
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
I'm going to try.
Bones
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Just checking in.
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Mood of the day: :|
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I just saw a recent picture of myself that someone took of me and realize that I physically resemble NWomb-Donor!!! ***PUKE!!!!*** I HATE LOOKING LIKE HER!!!! :P
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I KNOW. If I ever see a resemblance, I curse the Devil :lol:
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I KNOW. If I ever see a resemblance, I curse the Devil :lol:
It's too bad that we can't afford the plastic surgery to look more like a relative we prefer!
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Gotta deal with the urologist tomorrow morning. ICK! :P
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As some of you may know, I like to read advice columns in the morning, before I start my day. One of the advice columns I started to read is under the title of: "Dear Prudence". The following caught my attention on September 7th and I have been ruminating about it:
"Q. I Don't Like My Son's Girlfriend, but He Wants To Propose:
My youngest (in his 20s) has a girlfriend that I can't stand. She's a beautiful girl, and very smart and nice, but she's very unrealistic. She is always telling my son that he can "do anything he sets his mind to if he works hard" and that he should go after all his dreams in life. This is all well and good, but I want my son to have a serious, realistic outlook on life. Most people don't get everything they want out of their adult life. I know for sure I didn't. I'm worried that this girl is convincing my son to expect too much. That's not how his father and I raised him. He's been dating this girl for a few years, and he came home last night with a huge ring—bigger than anything I've ever had! He is going to propose to her in a week, and I want to stop him. I know my son is happy with this girl—the happiest I've ever seen him be, in fact, but I'm worried that he'll have unrealistic expectations with her and be disappointed later in life. But he loves this girl with all his heart, and I can see that she clearly loves him as well. What should I do?
A: These darn young people, so optimistic, so healthy, so exuding excitement at all that's ahead of them. Why can't they understand that in the next 40 years someone is going to tell them, "I'm sorry, you didn't get the job." "I'm going to have to biopsy this." "You're not the boss of me and I hate you and I'm running away from home!" and "Let me see if this comes in a larger size."
You're right that life doesn't work out exactly as hoped for anyone. That may be particularly true in your case, because you're such a defeatist downer. (Have you had an evaluation for depression?) One of the jobs of being young is to think that there is an exciting world of opportunities out there waiting to be grabbed. Guess what: that's what actually does happen for a lot of people (though not you). Your son sounds like he's in love with a wonderful girl. You should shut up (or, as they say in the Cymbalta ads, "talk to your doctor") about your gripes, and tell him how happy you are for him. You need to concentrate on addressing what's gone wrong in your life rather than try to ruin his."
What is your take on this woman? (I can't call her a mother.) She sounds VERY SELF-CENTERED to me!
Bones
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Came back from the urologist with instructions to schedule a sonogram in December and return for another follow-up in January due to the fact that the CT Scan found a cyst on one of my kidneys. Oh joy, joy, fun, fun! :P
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Damn, Bones. I'm sorry.
(I like Prudie, too. Did you read that she recently spent a weekend at a nudist camp, in order to write an interesting column? Had to keep sitting on a towel to protect her ladybits.)
Made me laugh.
Oh the stories I could tell. (Just two.)
:lol:
Hops
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Damn, Bones. I'm sorry.
(I like Prudie, too. Did you read that she recently spent a weekend at a nudist camp, in order to write an interesting column? Had to keep sitting on a towel to protect her ladybits.)
Made me laugh.
Oh the stories I could tell. (Just two.)
:lol:
Hops
I hadn't heard about the nudist camp bit! Your mentioning it reminds me of when my brother went to a nudist camp for the first time and came back walking kinda funny! Turns out that he didn't realize that a certain part of his anatomy, that normally never sees the sun, GOT SUNBURNED!!!! I couldn't keep a straight face! :lol:
Bones
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Maybe it's just me and my twisted sense of humor....during the urologist stuff, I've been thinking of what might be funny and writing them down.
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Another random thought....I've been watching the TV series, "Master Chef", and thinking that many of these contestants learned how to cook from loving family members. Then I look back at what NWomb-Donor did, in the area of "cooking" and realized that was a HUGE area of neglect because she DESPISED any mess in HER kitchen that was a natural result of cooking from scratch! :x
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And YOU learned to love amazingly healthful, nutrient rich foods anyway, even sushi!
Don't let that ghost into your brain...OUTTA your kitchen with her, Bones!
hugs and sweet dreams,
Hops
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And YOU learned to love amazingly healthful, nutrient rich foods anyway, even sushi!
Don't let that ghost into your brain...OUTTA your kitchen with her, Bones!
hugs and sweet dreams,
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
I'm having a bit of a rough time this morning as I went downtown to the Museum of Natural History yesterday. I under-estimated the amount of sensory overload I would encounter and, for someone with Asperger's, that is a DISASTER! UGH! :P
Bones
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Depressed
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very smart of you to realize that, Bones...
I bet it took some deliberate self soothing afterward to feel okay again.
I'm glad you talk sometimes about Asperger's. It's such an "invisible"
thing and the more people learn, the better.
(You're all geniuses, though, of course...) :D
xo
Hops
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very smart of you to realize that, Bones...
I bet it took some deliberate self soothing afterward to feel okay again.
I'm glad you talk sometimes about Asperger's. It's such an "invisible"
thing and the more people learn, the better.
(You're all geniuses, though, of course...) :D
xo
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
I did some deliberate self-soothing which is one of the reasons why I prefer to live alone. Those who are NT's tend to freak out when they accidentally witness stimming. I still feel "out-of-it" due to the sensory overloads I experienced with all the crowds and the noise level. It's going to take me several DAYS if not WEEKS to re-set my nervous system!
Bones
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Still feeling depressed today. Even my physical systems are off-kilter. :P
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Seasonal Affective Disorder is kicking in, HARD, and my sleep is being disrupted. Woke up at 3:00 in the morning! :P
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It has recently occurred to me that the N, that I notified about her stuff on November 30, 2009, has NOT responded back to me for several months after I informed her that she and/or her minion needed to call ahead to let me know when her stuff was going to be picked up. I had told both of them, at that time, that I live in a building with a security door and there is restricted parking. If they don't call ahead, they CANNOT get in. If they park in a reserved spot, the owner of that reserved parking place WILL call the police, along with the tow truck, and their car WILL be ticketed and towed. Apparently the QUEEN N did NOT like that information! She has been giving me the SILENT TREATMENT. (Why am I NOT surprised?)
If I hear nothing more from either her, or her minion, by November 30, 2010, I plan to prepare a letter, to be sent certified and be signed for, informing her that she has had over THIRTY YEARS to make a decision about her belongings. She left her stuff in April 1980. She was notified in the beginning of April 1999 that I was moving at the end of May 1999 and that she NEEDED TO MAKE A DECISION CONCERNING HER BELONGINGS. She was notified AGAIN November 30, 2009 regarding her belongings. (Because it took that long to find her stuff after the kerfuffle of moving and trying to reorganize my own stuff.) So as of November 30, 2010, her belongings will be considered ABANDONED PROPERTY and will be treated accordingly within 90 days after that. (If I STILL hear nothing, then I plan to start selling it so I can put the money toward my medical bills.)
If she attempts to scream LAWSUIT, I say "BRING IT ON!" Judges don't like having their court dockets cluttered with frivolous lawsuits over abandoned junk that has NOT been looked at or touched for this amount of time!
Bones
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:|
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Feels like I'm coming down with the first cold of the season. :(
So tired.......
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I'm trying to figure out what I might have done wrong...again.
Last night, I went to a meeting and said "hello" to the person who was already in the room. I got absolutely NO response. I noticed that she was listening to an iPod with ear-buds in her ears so I thought maybe she couldn't hear me over what she was listening to. I walked over to her and playfully waved "Hi". At that she deliberately looked away and refused to speak. I'm befuddled. What did I do that pissed her off????????? :?
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Welcome to 21st century boundaries, Bones! The earbuds were the clue that she was trying to hide behind the force field of her techie stuff and wasn't open to connecting. Sometimes it's a cell phone; sometimes a computer...
ironic, isn't it? That tech is so easily used to (rudely or not) wall out other people and withdraw... and then safely ensconced behind the "wall of tech"... overshare the most silly things to the whole world.
I don't think you pissed her off. You just missed the "sign" she thought should've been obvious that she wanted to be left alone. I've even noticed some people doing this won't even make eye contact. It's as if they want to travel through the world of people and places in their own cone of privacy... like a ghost or zombie: there, physically - but not at all there with the rest of themselves.
It seems to be a phenomenon related to boundaries. I've been observing this for a while. There is an etiquette among techies about f2f interactions while also interacting with the 'puter... and some people are better able to converse while still correctly choosing settings or writing code commands than others. It's not considered rude to hold a finger or a hand in a "wait" gesture... until the computer interaction is completed - even if that takes 10 minutes or more.
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Welcome to 21st century boundaries, Bones! The earbuds were the clue that she was trying to hide behind the force field of her techie stuff and wasn't open to connecting. Sometimes it's a cell phone; sometimes a computer...
ironic, isn't it? That tech is so easily used to (rudely or not) wall out other people and withdraw... and then safely ensconced behind the "wall of tech"... overshare the most silly things to the whole world.
I don't think you pissed her off. You just missed the "sign" she thought should've been obvious that she wanted to be left alone. I've even noticed some people doing this won't even make eye contact. It's as if they want to travel through the world of people and places in their own cone of privacy... like a ghost or zombie: there, physically - but not at all there with the rest of themselves.
It seems to be a phenomenon related to boundaries. I've been observing this for a while. There is an etiquette among techies about f2f interactions while also interacting with the 'puter... and some people are better able to converse while still correctly choosing settings or writing code commands than others. It's not considered rude to hold a finger or a hand in a "wait" gesture... until the computer interaction is completed - even if that takes 10 minutes or more.
Thanks, PR!
Being an Aspie, I miss stuff like that unless it's spelled out.
At the same time, I didn't want to startle her if she didn't hear me come in. The police have often emphasized to be VERY aware of your surroundings, ESPECIALLY if you're carrying high-tech stuff like iPods, iPads, cell-phones, Blackberries, etc. because it is so easy for a thief to snatch it out of your hands, or worse, assault you while stealing it!
Bones
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Yer welcome!
It's not just Aspie's who have problems with this... recognizing social cues, that is. After all these years, I still haven't figured out how to relax in certain kinds of social situations and approach people in a way that doesn't scare the crap out of them and make me uncomfortable. Especially women; especially the ones who've invested more time & money in self-grooming than I think is worth it, personally. I clean up quite well - it's not that I don't know how or that I haven't developed all the skills I need to navigate new groups of people, professionally... but socially, it doesn't feel like "me" (old, proud tomboy that I am). And it doesn't help that my hubby sticks like a tick to my side trying to coach me, so that I don't embarrass him!
Oddly, it's easier for me to approach and speak with men in my new group of neighbors. I don't bubble over about my grandkids... or feel that my self-worth is edged up by how I've decorated my house, or my secret casserole dish or who does my hair or how I choose to work out... these kinds of women are like on another planet from me. A secret society that I've not been initiated into... and I'm not exactly breaking down the doors to be allowed in, either!! :D
But maybe that's just my predjudice and bias. Maybe they do think about politics, economics, engineering, design, spirituality, and philosophy and maybe it matters just as much to them. Maybe I'm not giving them a chance...
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Yer welcome!
It's not just Aspie's who have problems with this... recognizing social cues, that is. After all these years, I still haven't figured out how to relax in certain kinds of social situations and approach people in a way that doesn't scare the crap out of them and make me uncomfortable. Especially women; especially the ones who've invested more time & money in self-grooming than I think is worth it, personally. I clean up quite well - it's not that I don't know how or that I haven't developed all the skills I need to navigate new groups of people, professionally... but socially, it doesn't feel like "me" (old, proud tomboy that I am). And it doesn't help that my hubby sticks like a tick to my side trying to coach me, so that I don't embarrass him!
Oddly, it's easier for me to approach and speak with men in my new group of neighbors. I don't bubble over about my grandkids... or feel that my self-worth is edged up by how I've decorated my house, or my secret casserole dish or who does my hair or how I choose to work out... these kinds of women are like on another planet from me. A secret society that I've not been initiated into... and I'm not exactly breaking down the doors to be allowed in, either!! :D
But maybe that's just my predjudice and bias. Maybe they do think about politics, economics, engineering, design, spirituality, and philosophy and maybe it matters just as much to them. Maybe I'm not giving them a chance...
I see what you're saying.
At the same time, I'm also concerned about safety issues. Maybe that's just me.
Bones
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Tired.
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The weather's starting to change here... and as per usual, I've come down a sinus-cold, so I'm typing with my tissue box nearby (I got tired of jumping up and down). We moved to the beach in January... so this is my first beach experience of saying "goodbye" to summer. It's sorta sad...the crowds have thinned out and dogs are allowed on the beach again...the pool will be closed next week till spring... and I'm starting to wonder what I'll "do" to occupy myself during what passes for winter here. I keep expecting a gray, dreary season... but that's not accurate here. There will be plenty of sunshine all winter long and while it will be "chilly" on my relative life-experience thermometer, it won't be -25 F, with an added wind chill. I love fall & winter 'coz I can indulge in all my introverted type activities!! Cozy, it is.
I should say: what I WANT to do, because there's always a ready list of already identified "projects" to work on, around here. I think my projects are kinda like the kid in the Peanuts comic strip - Pigpen - it's just a cloud of stuff that follows me around! So, some days, I just ignore the projects...
What do you like to do when it's cozier to stay inside Bones?
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The weather's starting to change here... and as per usual, I've come down a sinus-cold, so I'm typing with my tissue box nearby (I got tired of jumping up and down). We moved to the beach in January... so this is my first beach experience of saying "goodbye" to summer. It's sorta sad...the crowds have thinned out and dogs are allowed on the beach again...the pool will be closed next week till spring... and I'm starting to wonder what I'll "do" to occupy myself during what passes for winter here. I keep expecting a gray, dreary season... but that's not accurate here. There will be plenty of sunshine all winter long and while it will be "chilly" on my relative life-experience thermometer, it won't be -25 F, with an added wind chill. I love fall & winter 'coz I can indulge in all my introverted type activities!! Cozy, it is.
I should say: what I WANT to do, because there's always a ready list of already identified "projects" to work on, around here. I think my projects are kinda like the kid in the Peanuts comic strip - Pigpen - it's just a cloud of stuff that follows me around! So, some days, I just ignore the projects...
What do you like to do when it's cozier to stay inside Bones?
Hi, PR!
I enjoy crocheting and I'm working on a daisy loom afghan right now. I also enjoy loom knitting and other needlework. I've had a "stash" of needlework stuff around the house for YEARS but didn't feel like touching it until this year when the Smithsonian announced their Crochet Coral Reef project and anyone, who wished to, was invited to contribute to their exhibit. When I realized that the particular museum involved was the same museum where my Dad used to work many, many years ago, I decided to come out of "crochet retirement" and do this in memory of him. Once I started, "yarn fever" set in and I couldn't stop!
At the same time, it wasn't easy because of experiencing flashbacks of NWomb-donor's abuse but I managed to complete what I started by mentally fighting back against that monster. (If that makes any sense.)
Bones
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I've also been working with my fellow former classmates to organize a high school reunion. Dealing with the logistics feels equivalent to organizing a wedding reception!!!! There's arranging for the venue, trying to get RSVP's from former classmates so we can plan on how much food needs to be ordered and prepared, paying for the room and food, along with other logistics, receiving payments from former classmates and maintaining lists of who has paid along with those who have stated they're coming but have not paid, etc., etc., etc.
Inevitably, the reunion committee encounters a "drama queen" or two. I get an e-mail asking me "if xe doesn't eat the food, can xe get in for FREE?" I explained that we still need to PAY FOR THE ROOM where this party will take place so NO, there are no "Freebies". Apparently, "xe" didn't like being told "No", so "xe" gets the "best buddy" involved and this "best buddy" sends me an e-mail with virtually the IDENTICAL question, "if xe doesn't eat the food, can xe get in for FREE?"
Explained the same thing AGAIN....WE STILL HAVE TO PAY FOR THE ROOM, therefore the answer is NO, xe cannot get in for FREE because there are NO FREEBIES!
What part of the word "NO" do they NOT UNDERSTAND?!?!? :? Sheesh!!!!!!!!
Bones
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This "internet" place is getting to be such a small world!! 8)
Have you seen the original TED lecture on the crocheted coral reef? It's given by the artist who started the project you're talking about... and apparently the idea came out of problem-solving a way to visualize mathematical concepts. The cross-over between math & such a "homey" craft got a strand of my own creative juices going again... I don't crochet; MIL does... but I do sew (and all the other artsy stuff that went with my degree). I absolutely love the possibilities that are inherent in any kind of inter-disciplinary venture or crossover/fusing of two seemingly "separate" mediums or disciplines; synthesis, I guess you could say. And piecework, as the UK folks would say, is something I've been doing since I was 6 - embroidery, needlepoint, and hand-sewing techniques (the idea of french seamstresses consistently creating the same stitch length & space between - by hand - has obsessed me since I was small, too). I know during my recovery from trauma... I grabbed an old tool called a "weave it" (a small hand loom about 4"x4") and started out with some heavy crochet cottton; it was extremely calming to do something physically repetitive...
Apparently the "art" of domestic skills like this is contagious. Some of my ideas got scattered to a daughter who is a tattoo artist... who started making quilts... and now she's collaborating with an artist who designs while she sews (tho' she says she's going to teach him to sew and design some of her own). They're young; 30-ish... and of course, they're completely reinventing the quilt imagery to suit themselves. And why not??? I've seen them; they're very fresh, playful and bright & cheery. And she's finally outgrown the starter sewing machine she's had for 10 years...
I also have "issues" that linger from my mom trying to teach me how to sew - a couple of really concrete memories that summed up or symbolized how serious her intent to "control" me was. For a while... I couldn't even bear to start up the machine; do mending... because I knew that in my head, I'd keep hearing the echo of "HERE. You aren't doing it right; I might as well do it myself." Or she'd criticize a creative choice I'd made with one of an infinite variations on the theme: "I wouldn't have done it that way; I would have _________." It really got so bad for me, that I stopped painting... put all the stuff away... and even now - the easel is out & I bought a new taboret and even have a sewing room... and it's like it's all "off limits" or in a bubble and I just don't want to "go there" (maybe from habit?) but part of me DOES...
my neighbor - who was a substitute mom for a while - also taught me sewing techniques (way different from my mom's; I think that's where the french stuff comes from) and it was she who gave me my first sketch book - thinking it would be a private place that I could explore all kinds of ideas without my Nmom's comments; unfortunately it wasn't. HUH...
I think I just tripped over another idea, while blathering on about that... it was another place I "wasn't allowed" to have a boundary. DUH!!
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This "internet" place is getting to be such a small world!! 8)
Have you seen the original TED lecture on the crocheted coral reef? It's given by the artist who started the project you're talking about... and apparently the idea came out of problem-solving a way to visualize mathematical concepts. The cross-over between math & such a "homey" craft got a strand of my own creative juices going again... I don't crochet; MIL does... but I do sew (and all the other artsy stuff that went with my degree). I absolutely love the possibilities that are inherent in any kind of inter-disciplinary venture or crossover/fusing of two seemingly "separate" mediums or disciplines; synthesis, I guess you could say. And piecework, as the UK folks would say, is something I've been doing since I was 6 - embroidery, needlepoint, and hand-sewing techniques (the idea of french seamstresses consistently creating the same stitch length & space between - by hand - has obsessed me since I was small, too). I know during my recovery from trauma... I grabbed an old tool called a "weave it" (a small hand loom about 4"x4") and started out with some heavy crochet cottton; it was extremely calming to do something physically repetitive...
Apparently the "art" of domestic skills like this is contagious. Some of my ideas got scattered to a daughter who is a tattoo artist... who started making quilts... and now she's collaborating with an artist who designs while she sews (tho' she says she's going to teach him to sew and design some of her own). They're young; 30-ish... and of course, they're completely reinventing the quilt imagery to suit themselves. And why not??? I've seen them; they're very fresh, playful and bright & cheery. And she's finally outgrown the starter sewing machine she's had for 10 years...
I also have "issues" that linger from my mom trying to teach me how to sew - a couple of really concrete memories that summed up or symbolized how serious her intent to "control" me was. For a while... I couldn't even bear to start up the machine; do mending... because I knew that in my head, I'd keep hearing the echo of "HERE. You aren't doing it right; I might as well do it myself." Or she'd criticize a creative choice I'd made with one of an infinite variations on the theme: "I wouldn't have done it that way; I would have _________." It really got so bad for me, that I stopped painting... put all the stuff away... and even now - the easel is out & I bought a new taboret and even have a sewing room... and it's like it's all "off limits" or in a bubble and I just don't want to "go there" (maybe from habit?) but part of me DOES...
my neighbor - who was a substitute mom for a while - also taught me sewing techniques (way different from my mom's; I think that's where the french stuff comes from) and it was she who gave me my first sketch book - thinking it would be a private place that I could explore all kinds of ideas without my Nmom's comments; unfortunately it wasn't. HUH...
I think I just tripped over another idea, while blathering on about that... it was another place I "wasn't allowed" to have a boundary. DUH!!
Oh--h-h-h-h YEAH!!!! Definitely BOUNDARY ISSUES!!!!!! There was absolutely NO PEACE around the Royal Narcissistic Queen C*NT as her word was LAW!!!!! Now when I hear those "old tapes" cranking up again, I respond with "F*CK OFF!!!" It feels good to be able to do that!!!!
Bones
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Oddly, it's easier for me to approach and speak with men in my new group of neighbors. I don't bubble over about my grandkids... or feel that my self-worth is edged up by how I've decorated my house, or my secret casserole dish or who does my hair or how I choose to work out... these kinds of women are like on another planet from me. A secret society that I've not been initiated into... and I'm not exactly breaking down the doors to be allowed in, either!! :D
But maybe that's just my predjudice and bias. Maybe they do think about politics, economics, engineering, design, spirituality, and philosophy and maybe it matters just as much to them. Maybe I'm not giving them a chance...
I met a great friend on the internet through playing words games. She loves decorating her house for the seasons and secret casserole dishes and she's into fashion. I am not into the decorating but it's a yes to the secret casserole dishes. And fashion, forgetaboutit. We share our recipes. We've met in person this last summer. We're both introverts who love to discuss spirituality, philosophy, politics, economics, design, etc. Although our focus is for the most part spirituality and personal growth, we do talk about some very odd stuff most people would never talk about. That's just us.
I've shared my most horrific memories with her. She's the first and only person I've shared some of these memories with. Even my therapist hasn't heard these memories. She's the person my therapist said would come along in my life and I'd be able to be 100% real with her.
We share over 20 similarities (found so far) including marrying a man from Italian heritage, being the same age, getting married the same year and same time of year, bought our first house at same age, going through our first major stressor at the same age, both love word games, both love cats, and even like the same snack foods. It's simply amazing. We've talked on the phone to each other at least once a week since we first met online in 2006. Our conversations usually last 3 to 5 hours.
Faux pas is our greatest disappointment. We just don't interact with people well. Each other? No problem because we're both introverts.
Who does my hair? Me. :D I'll never forget going to the dog park one day after I had cut my hair. One lady there said, 'Your hair looks great. You got it cut.' When I said I did it myself her jaw dropped. She was amazed at how professional it looked.
I remember several women in the nursing school I attended thinking I was stuck up and snobby because my hair looked as if I had it professionally set each week. They were shocked to find I spent less than thirty minutes on my hair each morning before rounds. I've never been into spending a great deal of time dressing up and putting on makeup and getting my hair done.
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Hi, Sallyingforth!
Good to see you here!
Bones
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Last night, I had the opportunity to practice "blandness".
I attended a function in my community and encountered one of my neighbors who happens to be a FLAMING N!!!! She was ranting and raving about how SHE needs to GET BACK ON THE HOA BOARD because SHE does NOT APPROVE of the Board's decisions!!!!! (She conveniently forgot that I am very aware of her previous history of (a) NEVER attending Board meetings, on a regular basis, because she was "on vacation", (I would LOVE to be able to afford to take vacations as frequently as she does), (b) CURSING OUT ANY homeowner, attending the HOA meetings, who DARED disagree with HER ROYAL decrees, and (c) being CAUGHT taking FINANCIAL KICKBACKS, FROM OUR CONDO FEES, when a prior property management company was "taking care" of our development. (This company has since gone out of business when the legal authorities started investigating them. Unfortunately, the Teflon NQueen managed to avoid prosecution due to insufficient evidence in a criminal court of law. The rest of us DID SEE documentation from the now-defunct property management company where they were sending checks, PAYABLE TO HER, without ANY explanation of WHY they were giving her money OUT OF OUR CONDO FEES plus giving HER A REFUND OF HER OWN CONDO FEES! WTF?!?!?!?)
As she ranted and raved, last night, I just reflected BLAND, BLAND, BLAND, BLAND, BLAND until I was able to grab the opportunity to simply walk away. URGH!!!!! :P
Bones
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:|
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Hi ! :: waving::
How are you?
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Hi ! :: waving::
How are you?
Hi, P.R.
I'm here, physically. My emotions are elsewhere.
Bones
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Exhausted.
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:|
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Time to curl up in your jammies with a favorite cuppa tea and watch sappy or funny movies!
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Time to curl up in your jammies with a favorite cuppa tea and watch sappy or funny movies!
I've got some DVD's I can watch if the player doesn't act up.
Bones
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Well, there's always books and studying the inside of your eyelids - sometimes I just have to give in to the exhaustion and let myself drift all day. When it's possible.
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Well, there's always books and studying the inside of your eyelids - sometimes I just have to give in to the exhaustion and let myself drift all day. When it's possible.
Thanks, P.R.
Unfortunately, I have to go over to the door of a certain IDIOT and yell at him because he BOUNCED a check off of me when he's supposed to be paying rent for having his stuff here!!!! It infuriates me because he's working 40+plus hours per week, he earns more in ONE WEEK than I'm getting in my monthly pension, he KNOWS I have medical expenses and he has this attitude of: "I'll get 'round to it later"!!!! URGH!!!!!!! :P
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Looking at my schedule this week and it is FULL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :shock:
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Mine is going into a lull period - still stuff to do, but not so much, so quickly. Might even get around to posting the new topic that's been floating to the top of my mind, if I can just get the words to fall into the right order... to say what I mean. Or maybe I'll just order up a massage... it's been a long time, too long - from the number of knots in my muscles giving me fits!
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Mine is going into a lull period - still stuff to do, but not so much, so quickly. Might even get around to posting the new topic that's been floating to the top of my mind, if I can just get the words to fall into the right order... to say what I mean. Or maybe I'll just order up a massage... it's been a long time, too long - from the number of knots in my muscles giving me fits!
I hear ya!
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:|
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HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wish I could stay & play today... but duty calls. Maybe I'll check back in this afternoon, unless I've completely lost my "marbles"! tee-hee!
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HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wish I could stay & play today... but duty calls. Maybe I'll check back in this afternoon, unless I've completely lost my "marbles"! tee-hee!
Thanks, P.R.!
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I'm halfway through the week and fighting a cold on top of it! :P
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Hmmm... a cold sounds like the perfect excuse to take it easy, tea, good movie/book, or my fav - a piece of needlework - and chicken soup. Maybe even adding an extra day to the "weekend" so it gets here sooner!
:D
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I understand. At the same time, this is the worst week for a cold to choose to visit! I have to go to the nearby shopping mall to pick up some last minute things, then I have a meeting tonight with the Reunion Committee and the venue where the party will take place and I have materials I have to bring that they need TONIGHT! Tomorrow is the Depression Screening, (for which I will earn a little money to go toward my medical bills), Friday is a small party for those former classmates who cannot come on Saturday and Saturday night is the BIG party! Now is NOT the time to get sicker! :P
Bones
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It's getting down to the wire for the Reunion activities and it feels like herding cats! :?
Bones
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Oh, I know how you feel! It's so hard trying to get something like this - and all the different people - to come together. I think I usually end up throwing up my hands and adopting the "what will be, will be... and it'll probably be OK" attitude. Come to think of it, right now... I don't remember any major catastrophes!
Hope you have fun, Bones and that your cold lets you!
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Oh, I know how you feel! It's so hard trying to get something like this - and all the different people - to come together. I think I usually end up throwing up my hands and adopting the "what will be, will be... and it'll probably be OK" attitude. Come to think of it, right now... I don't remember any major catastrophes!
Hope you have fun, Bones and that your cold lets you!
Thanks, P.R.!
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I admire you, Bones...
All the active things you do despite the burdens and struggles that come and go.
I really admire you for getting out there and doing life the way you do regardless.
Thanks for the inspiration.
love,
Hops
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I admire you, Bones...
All the active things you do despite the burdens and struggles that come and go.
I really admire you for getting out there and doing life the way you do regardless.
Thanks for the inspiration.
love,
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
Maybe it's my way of trying to be the opposite of what NWomb-Donor used to do.
Bones
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BTW, if you're ever visiting Washington, D.C., please be sure to check out this exhibit:
http://www.mnh.si.edu/exhibits/hreef/index.html
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The last letter in today's Dear Abby is a LULU!!!!
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20101008
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Didn't get home until after 1:00 AM from the first high school reunion party and I started sniffling and sneezing more last night during the party. Feeling a bit run-down this morning and I have another reunion party tonight!
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Rest as much as you can and let other people pick up and do whatever else needs to be done! You've earned it.
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How'd your reunion go Bones?
Hope you're feeling better :)
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Rest as much as you can and let other people pick up and do whatever else needs to be done! You've earned it.
Thanks, P.R.
Unfortunately, the one other person on the committee, who wants to be able to assist more, is more ill than I am with an autoimmune disorder. The remaining members, three guys were basically useless. Two didn't get back to me and the other lady while we were working on making the arrangements and the third is back to being an actively practicing, out-of-control, Narcissistic alcoholic who did nothing but drink and attempt to bark orders at me and the other lady. I told him to back off! Damn! I have no patience with obnoxious drunks! :P
Bones
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How'd your reunion go Bones?
Hope you're feeling better :)
We managed to pull it off in spite of the men being useless!
I did have a VERY awkward moment when I encountered my ex-lover. (He was the one who dumped me.) I'm sitting at the equipment table, being the DJ, and he came over to me to say 'hello'. He shook my hand and it felt like I was shaking hands with a dead fish! UGH!!!! :P Then he kept circling my area, glancing at me, when there was PLENTY of other places he could wander to! It felt like he was being a vulture, circling....circling....then he would dart in towards me, say something, then dart away and resume circling....circling...circling around me! (WTF?!?!?!?)
I also came to understand the phrase: "He was undressing me with his eyes". When he approached me again, I could see the lust in his face!!! Talk about MIXED messages!!!! The whole time, I'm reminding myself: "He hurt me! I DON'T trust him!!! Shields up!!!! Red Alert!" (I was also VERY mindful of his wedding band on the third finger of his left hand and was VERY aware that he left his wife at home!) He already had his chance, twenty years ago, and he BLEW IT!!!! GEEZ!!!!!
Bones
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Oh my, Bones...
I know those encounters pretty well. It certainly makes me wonder what the H--- I was thinking when I got involved!!!! But see?
You've come a long way, baby.... you've learned a lot... and have no time to waste on such a sleazy dweeb.
I hope you had fun in spite of him.
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Oh my, Bones...
I know those encounters pretty well. It certainly makes me wonder what the H--- I was thinking when I got involved!!!! But see?
You've come a long way, baby.... you've learned a lot... and have no time to waste on such a sleazy dweeb.
I hope you had fun in spite of him.
Oh I DEFINITELY had fun in spite of him! I was polite when he spoke to me and the rest of the time I ignored him. I noticed that my ignoring him FLUSTERED the HELL out of him!!!!
Bones
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One funny observation involving the sleazy dweeb....when another former classmate arrived, he made a bee-line towards her and tried to follow her around! Problem was...it appeared that she recently came out of her closet, was dressed very man-ish, very similar to Ellen DeGeneres, and had accepted her sexual orientation, which CLEARLY did NOT include men, ESPECIALLY HIM!!!! He kept trying to buzz around her until I think she told him to buzz off! Then he started circling me again! All I could do was shake my head! :roll:
Bones
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Busted Mr. Blue out in a lie yesterday evening! First he told me that he and Sleazy Dweeb didn't talk at the Reunion. Then he admitted that they said "hello" to each other. Finally, he accidentally let slip a piece of information that ONLY the Dweeb and I knew until now and I was PISSED!!!!
I told Mr. Blue that even though I'm not getting any from him, I'm NOT desperate enough to go to Sleazy Dweeb to get some even though he was good in bed! SMACK!!!!!
Bones
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<chuckling> so many uses for a hosepipe, Bones.
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<chuckling> so many uses for a hosepipe, Bones.
You got that right! 8)
Bones
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Had a tooth extracted this morning, then got a flu shot this afternoon. ICK! :P
Bones
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In a VERY FOUL mood today! :evil:
Bones
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'morning bones! Feeling better today?
I'm up early, coz of apocalyptic dreams. Took me 2 hours to shake the latest one. It's weird isn't it, that we can always find evidence that the world's going to hell in a handbasket in the worst possible ways... yet it usually never happens and similarly, why aren't the signs that everything's OK, just as apparent and bombarding our consciousness? (which is usually the case... post-linear-timeline 20-20 past hindsight perspective, that is)
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'morning bones! Feeling better today?
I'm up early, coz of apocalyptic dreams. Took me 2 hours to shake the latest one. It's weird isn't it, that we can always find evidence that the world's going to hell in a handbasket in the worst possible ways... yet it usually never happens and similarly, why aren't the signs that everything's OK, just as apparent and bombarding our consciousness? (which is usually the case... post-linear-timeline 20-20 past hindsight perspective, that is)
Morning, P.R.
Still in a FOUL mood right now.
Bones
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The place where the tooth root was extracted is still a little swollen and it's still a bit uncomfortable to chew. NOT in a good mood! :P
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Hi Bones - have you tried a little ice to reduce the swelling? If the skin has closed up, you could also try some Anbesol or other baby teething pain reliever. I think they make an adult version too.
And then, my suggestion is to find something to get really into, that'll help you take your mind off the tooth! Even if it's only for an hour at a time. You might not be able to completely "forget" about the discomfort, but you deserve to have some distance from it, right? I'm sorry it hurts you and I hope it gets better soon!
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Hi Bones - have you tried a little ice to reduce the swelling? If the skin has closed up, you could also try some Anbesol or other baby teething pain reliever. I think they make an adult version too.
And then, my suggestion is to find something to get really into, that'll help you take your mind off the tooth! Even if it's only for an hour at a time. You might not be able to completely "forget" about the discomfort, but you deserve to have some distance from it, right? I'm sorry it hurts you and I hope it gets better soon!
Thanks, P.R.
Currently, I'm taking an antibiotic plus Motrin to deal with the surgical site. I've been attempting to stay busy by going down to the museum, Farmers Market, and Fall Festival around here. Then the low blood pressure started kicking in, which isn't fun either. I'm also working on some needlework projects.
I received an e-mail message from one of my former schoolmates, from over 40 years ago, asking me to call her. I did. I'm going to post about that in my next message.
Bones
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Well, it's been little over a week since the high school reunion and I'm still doing some follow-up with various former classmates, especially those who were unable to attend for one reason or another. One of them sent me an e-mail, with her phone number, and asked me to give her a call...which I did. BIG MISTAKE!!!!!
She kept gushing on and on about how we were "SUCH GOOD FRIENDS" all through childhood! (No, we were NOT! She was snobbish then, over 40 years ago, and is still snobbish now. Back then, she wouldn't give me the time of day so I have NO idea what planet she is living on! We have NOT had ANY contact for over 40 years since graduation!!!) She also demonstrated, several times during the conversation, (more accurately, her monologue), that she is a racist by often making comments about "THOSE people of color who are always lazy and dirty!" After about the fourth or fifth racist comment, I interrupted her by stating that I have a news flash for her in connection with my genealogy research that she asked about early in the conversation. I bluntly told her that my Dad and I are Bi-Racial and I find her racist comments very offensive. She needs to stop and think of what she is saying to whom before she says it. That stopped the overt racist comments but NOT the attitude! URGH!!!! :P
The topic changed over to asking about my family, (such as they are), and I commented that both my older sisters are gone and that one of them died about the same time that NWomb-Donor died to which she interrupted me to continue talking about herself. Five minutes later, she asked me how NWomb-Donor is and if she's still alive!!!! (WTF?!?!?!? Clearly she has NOT heard a SINGLE word I just said five minutes before that she had DIED!) She asked what I had been doing with myself and I mentioned getting a master's degree. Her response: "Who knew you were SO-O-O smart?!?!?" ICK!!!! :P
The vast majority of the conversation was her gushing on and on about herself, herself, herself, herself while I just non-committedly would respond with "Uh-huh, hmmmm". Finally, after she talked herself out, she announces that the next time she is in my area, we should get together for lunch. (Fat chance!) I couldn't wait to get off the phone! Can you say N-Radar and alarm bells going off?!?!?!? If she ever condescends to call me again, I'm letting it go to voice-mail! :P BLEGH!!!!
Bones
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Huh. Those are exactly the kind of people my hubby likes to "play"... basically he traps them via their own words/attitude into having to admit what they're really doing. I usually just ignore them - I don't have the energy and don't see the point... but it's a great game for him. I think it's kinda mean... but maybe it's not. Most of the time, they're like your friend - clueless.
Sounds like you also caught her out... good for you!
Ought to be good for a few giggles, you know?
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Huh. Those are exactly the kind of people my hubby likes to "play"... basically he traps them via their own words/attitude into having to admit what they're really doing. I usually just ignore them - I don't have the energy and don't see the point... but it's a great game for him. I think it's kinda mean... but maybe it's not. Most of the time, they're like your friend - clueless.
Sounds like you also caught her out... good for you!
Ought to be good for a few giggles, you know?
Thanks, PR!
Regarding your hubby, does that mean he turns the tables on N's? I'm not sure I understand completely what you described. Could be my Asperger's getting in the way.
Bones
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Have a follow up dental appointment on Wednesday. Still sore from the extraction. :P
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Still not feeling wonderful! :P
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Is it still your extraction bothering you, Bones? or something else?
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Is it still your extraction bothering you, Bones? or something else?
The extraction site is still bothering a bit and I saw the dentist this morning. He examined it and told me that it's healing nicely and there is no sign of infection. It's going to be sensitive for a while since both the gum and bone have to heal. NOT fun! I just have to deal with it one day at a time until then.
Bones
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Patience, grasshopper! Your mouth has been assaulted and it will take time for it to heal. Each day will be a little better.
I thought I'd posted a reply about how my hubby turns Ns inside out... but something must've happened; it ain't here. So, what he does... is string them along... agreeing with every outrageous statement until they finally say something so absurd that they can no longer pretend they're smart or important or whatever. All the time, he knows what they're saying is total bull... and he really couldn't care less... he finds them harmlessly amusing. He doesn't have to point and say: They have no new clothes! He just leads them on with quiet logic and facts, until they end up proclaiming it themselves... and then OOOPS! they're caught out.
Even the one's who wield power over others - eventually fall into this hole that they dig for themselves. Some will try to blame others; some will try to polish the "turd" they created; and some will "act out" with anger or violence or scandal...
... but hubby knows them for the self-deluded, inept, broken people they are and also knows that the law of karma (or whatever) does always catch up to them - and he refuses to let them influence his own sense of self or values or to influence what he "knows" to be right. Hubby knows they're not the people who really "do" anything productive or valuable. They're just "hot-air-bags"... and an irritating fact of life...
but then: hubby is a master of schmoozing and flourishes in a social setting. I'm not - though I can sort of "put on" that mindset and walk myself through it. It's not a natural skill for me and at feels like putting on a girdle, hose and 4 inch heels. Sure I can do it, and sometimes even pull it off, but's it's just not comfortable.... and I'm always thinking about the moment when I can change into my "fuzzy pants and slippers"!
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Patience, grasshopper! Your mouth has been assaulted and it will take time for it to heal. Each day will be a little better.
I thought I'd posted a reply about how my hubby turns Ns inside out... but something must've happened; it ain't here. So, what he does... is string them along... agreeing with every outrageous statement until they finally say something so absurd that they can no longer pretend they're smart or important or whatever. All the time, he knows what they're saying is total bull... and he really couldn't care less... he finds them harmlessly amusing. He doesn't have to point and say: They have no new clothes! He just leads them on with quiet logic and facts, until they end up proclaiming it themselves... and then OOOPS! they're caught out.
Even the one's who wield power over others - eventually fall into this hole that they dig for themselves. Some will try to blame others; some will try to polish the "turd" they created; and some will "act out" with anger or violence or scandal...
... but hubby knows them for the self-deluded, inept, broken people they are and also knows that the law of karma (or whatever) does always catch up to them - and he refuses to let them influence his own sense of self or values or to influence what he "knows" to be right. Hubby knows they're not the people who really "do" anything productive or valuable. They're just "hot-air-bags"... and an irritating fact of life...
but then: hubby is a master of schmoozing and flourishes in a social setting. I'm not - though I can sort of "put on" that mindset and walk myself through it. It's not a natural skill for me and at feels like putting on a girdle, hose and 4 inch heels. Sure I can do it, and sometimes even pull it off, but it's just not comfortable.... and I'm always thinking about the moment when I can change into my "fuzzy pants and slippers"!
Thanks, P.R.!
I like the idea of your hubby dealing with the N's by turning them inside out! I wish I had that skill!!!! The only thing I know how to do, when confronted with an N behaving like an a$$ is to simply act as if they are NOT there. I notice that flusters them like CRAZY!!!! It just irks me to know that N's don't care who they hurt with their cr*p!
Bones
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Why do some men, who are pushing 60, still act like they're 14 years old?!?!?!?!? :?
Bones
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Not sure what you're referring to, but I do know that some guys hang on to their "love of play & toys" forever. It's not so awful in hubby... especially when I seem to have forgotten how to play & have fun. Or won't let myself, for one reason & another. Even when I start doing creative stuff... I turn it into work; make it too serious; and choke all the "fun" out of it.
But then, timing is an issue. I can be so fixated (and rigidly so) on a task, that his play-approaches irritate me no end! I try not to take his head off... I do want to keep him around. He's suggested I get a sign that I can wear, that has "not available" and "available" on either side... so he has a clue when it's OK to play or when he's gonna tick me off. It can change in an instant and not even I'm aware that it's changed, most of the time.
I have to admit, it's a practical idea! :D
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Not sure what you're referring to, but I do know that some guys hang on to their "love of play & toys" forever. It's not so awful in hubby... especially when I seem to have forgotten how to play & have fun. Or won't let myself, for one reason & another. Even when I start doing creative stuff... I turn it into work; make it too serious; and choke all the "fun" out of it.
But then, timing is an issue. I can be so fixated (and rigidly so) on a task, that his play-approaches irritate me no end! I try not to take his head off... I do want to keep him around. He's suggested I get a sign that I can wear, that has "not available" and "available" on either side... so he has a clue when it's OK to play or when he's gonna tick me off. It can change in an instant and not even I'm aware that it's changed, most of the time.
I have to admit, it's a practical idea! :D
Sounds like a good idea, that sign.
I guess I'm still trying to analyze the behaviors of the two male Idiots after the Reunion; the Sleazy Dweeb and Mr. Blue. Both of them act as if they are still in junior high school!
Bones
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And I tend to look for love/parmagh in all the wrong places because I am subconsciously drawn to what is familiar...recreating the type of relationship I had with the NWomb-donor thinking that THIS time I can fix it. It is IMPOSSIBLE to fix any relationship with a Narcissist!
Bones
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Don't have much time this a.m. - promised MIL we'd go to a plant sale.
OK - I get it about the guys. They're like telemarketers - they have to connect with me or interest me or convince me they have something I want or are being "real" and "genuinely themselves", in the first 20 seconds or it's Hasta la Vista, baby.... life's short and there ARE the "other kind" of guys out there. The ones who are real, kind, who can set aside what they want to give, who are patient and caring and even kinda sensitive themselves. Thinker-feelers. Took me 3 tries - but I finally found one.
I don't have any plans to trade him in on a newer model - much as I gripe about him sometimes!
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Don't have much time this a.m. - promised MIL we'd go to a plant sale.
OK - I get it about the guys. They're like telemarketers - they have to connect with me or interest me or convince me they have something I want or are being "real" and "genuinely themselves", in the first 20 seconds or it's Hasta la Vista, baby.... life's short and there ARE the "other kind" of guys out there. The ones who are real, kind, who can set aside what they want to give, who are patient and caring and even kinda sensitive themselves. Thinker-feelers. Took me 3 tries - but I finally found one.
I don't have any plans to trade him in on a newer model - much as I gripe about him sometimes!
Thanks, P.R.
It's nearly impossible to find a healthy relationship while struggling with self-esteem issues.
Bones
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Plus trying to "read" people's faces when I have Asperger's is a CHALLENGE! :?
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Plus trying to bring my mind, my body, my emotions, and my logic into alignment in order to find balance. :?
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I hear you, Bones.
Me, too.
Hang in there,
Hops
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I hear you, Bones.
Me, too.
Hang in there,
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
Bones
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Hey Bones - I posted a reply yesterday or the day before - and it went "poof"! Looks like the full moon still has it's influence over tech - without rational explanations. Either that - or I'm completely losing my marbles. Oh well, I guess what I said wasn't all that important or it would've "stuck" in my memory.
But, then, it's my turn to be under the weather... woke up with some nasty strep sore throat and chest cough, even tho' I started trying to fight it off a few days ago. Hope you're finally starting to feel whole and better!
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Hey Bones - I posted a reply yesterday or the day before - and it went "poof"! Looks like the full moon still has it's influence over tech - without rational explanations. Either that - or I'm completely losing my marbles. Oh well, I guess what I said wasn't all that important or it would've "stuck" in my memory.
But, then, it's my turn to be under the weather... woke up with some nasty strep sore throat and chest cough, even tho' I started trying to fight it off a few days ago. Hope you're finally starting to feel whole and better!
Thanks, P.R.
The extraction site is starting to feel a bit better. However, I'm feeling emotionally out of sorts and need to ask for some perspective on a situation.
As you may be aware, I attended my high school reunion a few weeks ago. Part of the preparation included searching for former classmates at a variety of social networking sites as well as searching for snail-mail addresses and phone numbers. I managed to accumulate about 200 e-mail addresses out of a class of nearly 800. Recently, one of my former classmates sent me an e-mail asking me to disclose everyone's contact information to her. (I don't even know her that well.) I responded, with a "bcc" to other former classmates stating that, out of respect for others' privacy, I cannot disclose that information. However, I can give them the means to contact her if they wish. I got a response back from her a short while ago, sounding obviously miffed, because SHE wants to choose who she wants to invite, etc. etc. I again, repeated, that not everyone in the class wants their contact information disclosed without their expressed permission and THAT needs to be respected. Maybe it's just me but that demand from her just pisses me off!!!!
Bones
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Still trying to make sense of a situation. :?
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I think you did the wise, correct thing Bones - no need to waste extra energy on being p-o'd just 'coz what she wants is unreasonable. Even Facebook doesn't let just anyone automatically become a "friend"; you have to accept the request, you know?
Here's an idea, if she keeps bugging you about handing over your hard work: ask her why she's so desperate to restart old friendships - now? What is her reason? And see what she answers. You might be surprised.
Glad to hear you're feeling better; I've come down with a nasty bug... sore throat cough being mentally out of it... so I'm letting myself nap, read, space out and I survived going out to find my cold tea remedy. I felt a little better this a.m. - more "whole" again. But I don't dare try to jump into anything strenuous or stressful yet. I might just stay in my jammies all day today. MIL has to watch picking up bugs from us; the drug she's on could lower her immune system a lot... so I'm sorta quarantined until I can kick this cough. Hubby will be beside himself, if he has to take care of 2 sickies!!
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I think you did the wise, correct thing Bones - no need to waste extra energy on being p-o'd just 'coz what she wants is unreasonable. Even Facebook doesn't let just anyone automatically become a "friend"; you have to accept the request, you know?
Here's an idea, if she keeps bugging you about handing over your hard work: ask her why she's so desperate to restart old friendships - now? What is her reason? And see what she answers. You might be surprised.
Glad to hear you're feeling better; I've come down with a nasty bug... sore throat cough being mentally out of it... so I'm letting myself nap, read, space out and I survived going out to find my cold tea remedy. I felt a little better this a.m. - more "whole" again. But I don't dare try to jump into anything strenuous or stressful yet. I might just stay in my jammies all day today. MIL has to watch picking up bugs from us; the drug she's on could lower her immune system a lot... so I'm sorta quarantined until I can kick this cough. Hubby will be beside himself, if he has to take care of 2 sickies!!
Thanks, P.R.! That gives me a better perspective.
I hope you feel better SOON!!!!!!
Bones
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Hi Miz Bones,
I have a mildly-Aspie close friend who finds himself getting kind of "stuck" on various interactions with people. For him, the frustration is that he'll say, I don't understand it (whatever the interaction was).
I think he feels that he SHOULD understand everything that happens. So he gets really frustrated when someone's signals or expression or what they say isn't crystal clear ... or consistent with what he's figured out.
(He's also brilliant in many ways. Just the interaction things can really trip him up, and he sort of keeps re-living an encounter, trying to revise it backward. Get it "right.")
It's hard for him to "shrug and let go."
Do you think this idea --saying it to yourself until it works--might help you when these things happen?
Shrug and let go.
love to you,
Hops
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Hi Miz Bones,
I have a mildly-Aspie close friend who finds himself getting kind of "stuck" on various interactions with people. For him, the frustration is that he'll say, I don't understand it (whatever the interaction was).
I think he feels that he SHOULD understand everything that happens. So he gets really frustrated when someone's signals or expression or what they say isn't crystal clear ... or consistent with what he's figured out.
(He's also brilliant in many ways. Just the interaction things can really trip him up, and he sort of keeps re-living an encounter, trying to revise it backward. Get it "right.")
It's hard for him to "shrug and let go."
Do you think this idea --saying it to yourself until it works--might help you when these things happen?
Shrug and let go.
love to you,
Hops
Being an Aspie, I tend to perserverate on people/places/things that confuse the heck out of me, trying to figure things out. I think I've figured out why I found myself feeling so irritated. This individual seemed to have an attitude of entitlement to the contents of my address book because she assumed that others wouldn't mind plus assumed that her assumption is automatically true,which it is not. NDoofus had also demonstrated a similar attitude of entitlement to what she wanted and acting on her own assumptions without bothering to do a reality check. Neither of these two individuals seem to understand that others have a right to boundaries and privacy. Personally, I don't care who is who. When anyone demands the contents of my address book, I basically tell them "N-O". Without trying to brag, some of my friends happen to be well-known celebrities and they have shared their private contact information with me because they know I will guard it like Fort Knox! Therefore, when individuals like this former classmate cop an attitude because I dare say "No", they tend to pluck my last nerve!
I've also had my privacy violated when others have disclosed my private contact information to others without my knowledge or permission. NDoofus gave my contact info to some telemarketers because she ASSUMED "it was okay"! I HATE TELEMARKETERS!!!!!! After I reamed out the telemarketer and she apologized for disturbing me because she was acting on information NDoofus had told her, I then called NDoofus and tore her a new a$$hole for giving out my information!!! She tried to excuse herself because she ASSUMED it was "okay" and her assumptions are ALWAYS MAGICALLY TRUE!!!! (Stupid B*tch! :P) The other violation was worse when I started getting WEIRD letters from a MAXIMUM security unit in a Virginia prison from an absolute TOTAL STRANGER!!!!! When I read the first letter, I was LIVID!!!!! Turns out that one of my former acquaintances was visiting her husband, in maximum, and she started giving out my person information to the other inmates there, WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE OR PERMISSION, because SHE ASSUMED I wouldn't mind!!!! I was unable to find her after she pulled that stunt!!! I wonder if she finally realized what I thought about the cr*p she had done! I returned the other letters, unopened, and I was ANGRY!!!!!! I've moved from that address and feel relieved that some weird former prison inmate can't suddenly turn up on my doorstep!
So, no, can't just "shrug it off" as I've learned to be hypervigilant the hard way. Just like I had to be hypervigilant with the sleazy dweeb. He may have been good in bed but he had NO heart and NO soul! He was more like an emotional vampire that has to be constantly watched...if that makes any sense.
Bones
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Hi Bones
I'm not an Aspie - but I don't enjoy the company of most people much (probably partly because I can read them and their interactions!) BUT I can understand your reactions above and what's more I'd probably feel the same, for a little while. Entitlement monsters can drive one nuts. I still remember a particular woman i worked with sixteen years ago and some of her little tricks.
If someone gave my details to a telemarketer I'd go mildly hot-anger nuts. If someone gave my details to someone in prison, I'd....hmmmm....be very unhappy about it in a controlled, firm, cold-anger kind of way.
That's my point of view. People can be complete assholes! Getting angry is a legitimate reaction 8)
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Hi Bones
I'm not an Aspie - but I don't enjoy the company of most people much (probably partly because I can read them and their interactions!) BUT I can understand your reactions above and what's more I'd probably feel the same, for a little while. Entitlement monsters can drive one nuts. I still remember a particular woman i worked with sixteen years ago and some of her little tricks.
If someone gave my details to a telemarketer I'd go mildly hot-anger nuts. If someone gave my details to someone in prison, I'd....hmmmm....be very unhappy about it in a controlled, firm, cold-anger kind of way.
That's my point of view. People can be complete assholes! Getting angry is a legitimate reaction 8)
Thanks, Guest!
Bones
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The first letter, in today's column, is something else!
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20101028
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:|
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Morning Bones! (yeah, I slept in... and got distracted yesterday)
How're ya doin'?
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Still feeling a bit out of sorts. The recovery process is S-L-O-W!
Bones
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I know what ya mean... I started coming down with this blasted cold last Sunday... and I'm still coughing often/hard enough to make my chest hurt.... and my head is still sloshy...despite blowing my nose every 15 minutes.
Yuck-o, huh?
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I know what ya mean... I started coming down with this blasted cold last Sunday... and I'm still coughing often/hard enough to make my chest hurt.... and my head is still sloshy...despite blowing my nose every 15 minutes.
Yuck-o, huh?
Definitely Yuck-O!!!
Plus dealing with a lame brain who can't seem to understand why I can't chew comfortably, yet, after an extraction that involved some scraping inside my jaw bone! At one point, he asked me if it was the same as a root canal! MORON!!!! GRRRRRRRRRR :P
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Decided to have a new experience last night. I went to see a midnight showing of Rocky Horror. It would have been fun except for the screaming drunk in the back row that made it impossible to hear ANY of the movie!
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Hi Bones,
I went last year. I had loads of fun but couldn't hear it either. Everyone interacts and yells lines out that are in the movie. They have some die hard fans.
We made toast to throw when they did the toast. We threw rice (ow my eye), water guns (for rain) newspapers over our heads for (rain) and of course every one up singing and dancing to the Time Warp.
It was fun and interesting but once was enough for me.
Love
Deb
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Hi Bones,
I went last year. I had loads of fun but couldn't hear it either. Everyone interacts and yells lines out that are in the movie. They have some die hard fans.
We made toast to throw when they did the toast. We threw rice (ow my eye), water guns (for rain) newspapers over our heads for (rain) and of course every one up singing and dancing to the Time Warp.
It was fun and interesting but once was enough for me.
Love
Deb
That was the type of experience I was hoping for instead of listening to this drunk screaming about himself. He wasn't even screaming ANY of the lines from the movie! He just dominated the whole thing! :P
Bones
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If you got a kick out of it, Bones, you could go another time and move your seat if you wind up near somebody who's behaving like that...
I love your sense of adventure.
YAY for you, out there enjoying life!
:)
Hops
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If you got a kick out of it, Bones, you could go another time and move your seat if you wind up near somebody who's behaving like that...
I love your sense of adventure.
YAY for you, out there enjoying life!
:)
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
I think, next time, I'll try to sit closer to the front and hope the drunk doesn't show up!
Bones
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To quote Rodney King, why can't people just get along?
Shortly after the polls opened this morning, I went to go do my civic duty and vote, (this is before breakfast so I'm still half-asleep). As I was leaving the polling station, along with another gentleman who had also just voted, the electioneers called out to us. One said, "Have a nice day and thank you for voting!", which was fine in my book. Then the other electioneer started ranting about others' personal lifestyles and the gentleman, who had been walking in front me, turn around and started yelling obscenities! :P Then both of these guys started going toe-to-toe playing macho mas macho! I thought there was going to be a fisticuffs brawl in the parking lot any second and this was still EARLY IN THE MORNING!!!! I finally got fed up and yelled over both of them while signaling with my hands...TIME OUT!!!!!! They stopped and looked at me when I stated it's TOO EARLY in the morning for nonsense! Then I gave everyone the Peace sign, per John and Yoko, and said "Peace Out!" Another electioneer quietly said, "Thank you" and I left! Sheesh!!!!
Bones
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During this past Halloween weekend, my support group was discussing memories connected with that holiday. An old memory, that I hadn't thought about for a long time, emerged that was connected with the ONLY time my GCB and I were permitted to go Trick-or-Treating. We were never allowed before or since because the NWomb-Donor didn't want it to appear as if we were begging. :? This ONE and ONLY time we were permitted to go Trick-or-Treating was when she forced GCB to dress like a woman, (wearing HER girdle, HER dress, HER stockings, HER make-up), and proceeded to show him off to the neighbors, much to his humiliation!!!!
I look back at that and wonder if NWomb-Donor was attempting to make her Golden Child Son into a "Mini-me" of HERSELF?!?!?!?!?
Bones
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Ewww, spot on, Bones.
What an insight.
Hops
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Ewww, spot on, Bones.
What an insight.
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
Looking back at that now, I don't blame GCB for cussing out NWomb-Donor years later!
Bones
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At times, I wonder if it's just me or is my N-Radar getting better so that I spot N's when they attempt to "get under my skin", (if that makes any sense). When I was reading in other postings and threads about recognizing N's for the FAKES that they are, it felt like another piece of a puzzle popped into place when I looked at the way the Sleazy Dweeb attempted to approach me at the Reunion. THANK GOD I NEVER MARRIED HIM!!!!!!
Bones
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Actually, ditto, Bones. Not once either, but at least twice <wipes brow in relief>.
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Actually, ditto, Bones. Not once either, but at least twice <wipes brow in relief>.
Good for you, Guest!
Bones
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Also...this may stem from my being an Aspie...socializing, unwritten social rules, and relationships confuse the H*LL out of me! :?
Bones
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Hey Bones,
ya know, sometimes I think it's easier to think that there aren't any "rules" - there's just people and the present moment. Some people I like - but not always, all the time. Some people are funny... sometimes. Some people are kind - and can be jerks, sometimes too. (me too) Why? Who knows!! Does it matter why? Maybe some times, but not always.
"Rules" are meant to be questioned - reviewed for relevancy - every so often. Like wearing white pants or shoes after Labor Day. Relationship rules, too. Of course, that conflicts with some built-in inner need us humans have for "certainty" - a "this is the way it's supposed to be". I run into this a lot with hubby. Just because I got mad at him once, when I was trying to read the paper - and the TV was on - and he wanted to talk to me all at the same time... he thinks it's a "rule" that he has to leave me alone while I'm reading the paper!! He can't tell when I just need to read as "downtime"... or when I can switch "channels" back & forth with my attention and talk to him, too. He wants me to wear a sign, you know? "Do not disturb".
For him, that one time is a "rule" about how he interacts with me. He doesn't get that it was just that once - or that it's not always a Greta Garbo moment: "I vant to be alone" ! It's getting better tho, now that we're almost always together these days. Don't know if I'm getting better at signalling him, or if he's getting better at reading me... doesn't matter which, really. Maybe I just need less withdrawal, turtle-ish, downtime.
At least for me, the idea that there are "rules" about "how to be | act | interact" with people - whether in social situations or one on one - comes from the "training" I got for how to exist in my FOO. Chances are, the things I find disgusting, too personal, or rude are things I'm not going to do/be... and most other people will think/act the same way. (sometimes!)
Is that more - or less - confusing?
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Hey Bones,
ya know, sometimes I think it's easier to think that there aren't any "rules" - there's just people and the present moment. Some people I like - but not always, all the time. Some people are funny... sometimes. Some people are kind - and can be jerks, sometimes too. (me too) Why? Who knows!! Does it matter why? Maybe some times, but not always.
"Rules" are meant to be questioned - reviewed for relevancy - every so often. Like wearing white pants or shoes after Labor Day. Relationship rules, too. Of course, that conflicts with some built-in inner need us humans have for "certainty" - a "this is the way it's supposed to be". I run into this a lot with hubby. Just because I got mad at him once, when I was trying to read the paper - and the TV was on - and he wanted to talk to me all at the same time... he thinks it's a "rule" that he has to leave me alone while I'm reading the paper!! He can't tell when I just need to read as "downtime"... or when I can switch "channels" back & forth with my attention and talk to him, too. He wants me to wear a sign, you know? "Do not disturb".
For him, that one time is a "rule" about how he interacts with me. He doesn't get that it was just that once - or that it's not always a Greta Garbo moment: "I vant to be alone" ! It's getting better tho, now that we're almost always together these days. Don't know if I'm getting better at signalling him, or if he's getting better at reading me... doesn't matter which, really. Maybe I just need less withdrawal, turtle-ish, downtime.
At least for me, the idea that there are "rules" about "how to be | act | interact" with people - whether in social situations or one on one - comes from the "training" I got for how to exist in my FOO. Chances are, the things I find disgusting, too personal, or rude are things I'm not going to do/be... and most other people will think/act the same way. (sometimes!)
Is that more - or less - confusing?
Well, things are always confusing for me...especially when I accidentally do something, without meaning to, and the other person gets pissed off at me. Then I try to figure out what I said or did that pissed them off. At times, I can be "face-blind" when I encounter someone, who knows me, outside of the usual venues where I normally would see them...or if they change their hairstyle or facial hair, (i.e. shaving off a beard they've had for YEARS). If I don't recognize them immediately, then they get REALLY pissed off! Then there are times when I accidentally encounter sensory overload and I'm forced to leave the area in a hurry! They get pissed off again because I left without saying anything and they perceive that as rude. Does any of that make sense? :?
Bones
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:|
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Yes, Bones... that makes absolute sense to me! I don't *think* I'm an aspie, but I've experienced all of those things you described. I have a terrible time recognizing people outside of where we normally interact - say, work colleagues in Walmart. It's a kind of cognitive dissonance for me. But it's usually that I can't remember their name; face looks familiar.... it's uh.... uh....
and while it doesn't happen as much anymore, if I'm in a large group of people or somewhere really noisy and busy - I too have to escape for a "breath of fresh air" and re-ground myself.
If other people get pissed - that's their problem. I'm just takin' care of myself and it's nothing personal if I forget someone's name - I've been known to call current hubby by ex#1 or #2's name... anyone who questions the confused look in my eye's as I'm searching for the name, gets the "senior moment" excuse! :D
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Yes, Bones... that makes absolute sense to me! I don't *think* I'm an aspie, but I've experienced all of those things you described. I have a terrible time recognizing people outside of where we normally interact - say, work colleagues in Walmart. It's a kind of cognitive dissonance for me. But it's usually that I can't remember their name; face looks familiar.... it's uh.... uh....
and while it doesn't happen as much anymore, if I'm in a large group of people or somewhere really noisy and busy - I too have to escape for a "breath of fresh air" and re-ground myself.
If other people get pissed - that's their problem. I'm just takin' care of myself and it's nothing personal if I forget someone's name - I've been known to call current hubby by ex#1 or #2's name... anyone who questions the confused look in my eye's as I'm searching for the name, gets the "senior moment" excuse! :D
Thanks, P.R.
I've had other clues which points to being an Aspie that goes way back to childhood/babyhood. One thing that I learned the hard way, it is extremely difficult being an Aspie growing up with an NWomb-Donor who took EVERYTHING as a personal deliberate insult to her royal self! :P
Bones
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No kiddin'.
Face blindness plus a tendency for senory overload because of the unique way you process things...
and then a NOT sensitive (understatement) parent...
What is good is that YOU know.
You have a real understanding of yourself and how your mind works.
Never mind about people too impatient to cut someone a break.
You don't even have to be mad back.
This is radical, but have you ever thought of just telling people now and then:
My Asperger's means I may have missed that, would you explain ____?
I would be totally receptive to that in anyone. I'd really appreciate someone clueing me in to what they need.
But with mean people, it wouldn't be worth it.
hugs
Hops
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No kiddin'.
Face blindness plus a tendency for senory overload because of the unique way you process things...
and then a NOT sensitive (understatement) parent...
What is good is that YOU know.
You have a real understanding of yourself and how your mind works.
Never mind about people too impatient to cut someone a break.
You don't even have to be mad back.
This is radical, but have you ever thought of just telling people now and then:
My Asperger's means I may have missed that, would you explain ____?
I would be totally receptive to that in anyone. I'd really appreciate someone clueing me in to what they need.
But with mean people, it wouldn't be worth it.
hugs
Hops
Thanks, Hops! I'm trying to do that now that I've been able to put the "pieces" together about why I'm so socially awkward. Unfortunately, not everyone "gets it".
Bones
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I had a very profound dream last night that spoke VOLUMES!!!!! Having a background in psychology helped me to recognize the symbolism within the dream! :shock:
I dreamt that I encountered NDoofus and her family, including the sister that had recently died some months back. NDoofus resembled Doctor Frank-N-Furter from The Rocky Horror Picture Show!!!!! (THAT alone nearly had me laughing out loud!) She was ABSOLUTELY FURIOUS with me and SCREAMED: "HOW D-A-R-E YOU SAY N-O TO WHAT I WANT!!!!" I just quietly and firmly repeated: "I don't need your brand of SH*T in my life!", handed her a huge package of toilet paper, and walked to my car! As I was driving away, she's SCREAMING after my car: "WHAT DO I DO WITH TOILET PAPER?!?!?!? I DON'T LIKE THIS BRAND!"
This dream was telling me so much on so MANY levels!!!!! :lol:
Bones
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Not sure what I'm feeling today.
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I'm feeling VERY UPSET towards Amazon.com today!!!! I saw a news report on television that Amazon is now selling a handbook for pedophiles!!! WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?!?!?!?!?!? :evil:
Bones
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Not feeling too wonderful today. I'm seeing reminders of Thanksgiving and Christmas everywhere with the attached messages of families getting together and having a WONDERFUL time! :P
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I am not biting this year Bones. I am just fed up with the annual sadness.
Found a single friend who's likewise not enjoying the mad "family-joy" pressure
and we've pledged to get together Tgiving Day and watch DVDs and
eat tofu neither of us cooks.
Sounds like bliss to me.
xo
Hops
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I am not biting this year Bones. I am just fed up with the annual sadness.
Found a single friend who's likewise not enjoying the mad "family-joy" pressure
and we've pledged to get together Tgiving Day and watch DVDs and
eat tofu neither of us cooks.
Sounds like bliss to me.
xo
Hops
I hear ya, Hops!
I'm thinking that if worse comes to worse, I'll go eat at a local restaurant.
Bones
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Struggling with flashbacks as I'm seeing ALOT of triggers lately!
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I'm sorry they flash back...
but they can't flash forward.
Forward belongs only to you, Bones.
love,
Hops
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I'm sorry they flash back...
but they can't flash forward.
Forward belongs only to you, Bones.
love,
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
This time of year is always bad. Whenever I turn on the TV, radio, pick up the paper, walk around anywhere, there are always reminders of Thanksgiving and Christmas and all the other stuff it entails, which triggers all the memories of abuse that is connected with it all.
Bones
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:|
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Good time for a media blackout.
Pick your own DVDs and read a lot ...
I do find I love a candle lit and some sacred music. Peace on earth's okay with me!
Just not all the familyfamilyfamilyfamilyfamilyfamily relentless reminders, or the shopping. Feh.
xo
Hops
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Good time for a media blackout.
Pick your own DVDs and read a lot ...
I do find I love a candle lit and some sacred music. Peace on earth's okay with me!
Just not all the familyfamilyfamilyfamilyfamilyfamily relentless reminders, or the shopping. Feh.
xo
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
It's also difficult to completely isolate myself as there are things going on in my community that I've already volunteered for such as safety issues and so forth. It's impossible to walk around with blinders on.
Bones
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You're right.
It really does mean a fight to reclaim some personal, private definition or pleasure or meaning or simplicity out of the holiday for yourself.
Even if it's you giving a kind word to a tired person working in a cafeteria.
I get it.
You are strong. Hope you find your own solstice star.
xo
Hops
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You're right.
It really does mean a fight to reclaim some personal, private definition or pleasure or meaning or simplicity out of the holiday for yourself.
Even if it's you giving a kind word to a tired person working in a cafeteria.
I get it.
You are strong. Hope you find your own solstice star.
xo
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
I'm trying.
Bones
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:|
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Trying to stay busy. The museum had a special lab today so I decided to check that out. The lab involved a "John Doe" victim and learning how to identify the bones and other forensic evidence that was found at the scene.
Bones
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Hi Bones! Hugs, Hops!
I hear ya about the holidays this year. Of course, y'all know that hubby and I will be attending two services to celebrate MIL and have to face her passing with people that we don't even know, along with the gobs of people who are actually family. Hubs' family is huge and extended. I am so dreading it already.
Then - I have the same kinds of flashbacks you do, Bones about holidays. Some of the most trying times of my life happened at Thanksgiving and Christmas, because of the conflict 'tween my Moms' & Dad's different ideas about what constitutes celebrating. It seems as a kid, that Christmas for me was always "waiting for the other shoe to drop"... when the "fight" would be on and go on, all night. Since then, even my kids have given me reason to flat out just be depressed about the time of year and the expectations.
Damn it. I've ALWAYS wanted to have Christmas at the beach!! To run away to the beach and just do whatever. (Last Christmas, hubby & I played videogames for 12 hours straight.) And here I am... complete with lighted palm tree... and hubs is just a big silly kid playing with toys (always)... and all I wanna do is come watch movies & eat tofu with you, Hops!! I don't want to wallow in all my shattered ideas for Christmas with MIL... nor try to pretend I'm all jolly and happy. But I did go on & buy the rosemary tree I wanted to give to Jean to decorate herself... for remembrance, you know.
Maybe we should organize a holiday party online, here??
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Hi Bones! Hugs, Hops!
I hear ya about the holidays this year. Of course, y'all know that hubby and I will be attending two services to celebrate MIL and have to face her passing with people that we don't even know, along with the gobs of people who are actually family. Hubs' family is huge and extended. I am so dreading it already.
Then - I have the same kinds of flashbacks you do, Bones about holidays. Some of the most trying times of my life happened at Thanksgiving and Christmas, because of the conflict 'tween my Moms' & Dad's different ideas about what constitutes celebrating. It seems as a kid, that Christmas for me was always "waiting for the other shoe to drop"... when the "fight" would be on and go on, all night. Since then, even my kids have given me reason to flat out just be depressed about the time of year and the expectations.
Damn it. I've ALWAYS wanted to have Christmas at the beach!! To run away to the beach and just do whatever. (Last Christmas, hubby & I played videogames for 12 hours straight.) And here I am... complete with lighted palm tree... and hubs is just a big silly kid playing with toys (always)... and all I wanna do is come watch movies & eat tofu with you, Hops!! I don't want to wallow in all my shattered ideas for Christmas with MIL... nor try to pretend I'm all jolly and happy. But I did go on & buy the rosemary tree I wanted to give to Jean to decorate herself... for remembrance, you know.
Maybe we should organize a holiday party online, here??
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((PR))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
I hear ya!!!! An online holiday party sounds great!
Bones
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Woke up this morning to the "WONDERFUL" sound of water cascading into my unit from my neighbor's upstairs bathroom!!!! :P Turns out that his toilet tank COMPLETELY DISINTEGRATED, without warning, before dawn!!!!!
This is the second time that an upstairs unit has "RAINED DOWN" on mine! :P :P
What next?!?!?!?!?
Bones
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Oh Lordy...
is it cliche to say that when it rains, it pours??????
:lol:
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Oh Lordy...
is it cliche to say that when it rains, it pours??????
:lol:
:)
More like dumped on!!!! Now I have to hassle with the insurance people again, which is NOT fun!
Bones
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Gotta find out if property management can do anything...or not.
Bones
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Property management is taking a "hands off" approach to the whole mess. :P
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Trying to arrange to get the equipment I need to extract the moisture out of my wall-to-wall carpet because it STINKS. Called the insurance adjuster, again, and, again, got his voice mail that he is "not available" and left ANOTHER voice mail message. Then Idiot shows up stating that he's going to get the equipment "later". :P Starting yelling at him because I am SICK AND TIRED of his procrastination and he KNOWS I CANNOT DO ANY HEAVY LIFTING OF THIS EQUIPMENT!!!!! :evil:
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Peace to you, Bones.
I am sorry you're dealing with so many real aggravations.
love,
Hops
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Peace to you, Bones.
I am sorry you're dealing with so many real aggravations.
love,
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
Bones
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Just got an email from the Sleazy Dweeb thanking me for what I did in making the Reunion enjoyable. Somehow, I feel at peace with that. Maybe that is growth.
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Just trying to get through Thanksgiving Day.
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(((((((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))
Peace and a wonderful night's rest!
Hops
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(((((((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))
Peace and a wonderful night's rest!
Hops
((((((((((((((((((Hops))))))))))))))))))))))
Thanks!
Bones
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Feeling VERY annoyed at the doctor's office staff. Going to the doctor is NOT fun but I know I have to go anyway because of all the health issues that I'm dealing with. Three months ago, the doctor told me he wanted to see me in November for a complete physical. I wasn't thrilled with the idea but I knew that it is what is best for me. I went to the front desk, told them what the doctor wanted to do, three months from that last appointment, and the office staff person looked in their computer and wrote: "November 26th at 2:10 PM" on the receipt they gave me.
Fast forward to yesterday, November 26th...I drive all the way to the doctor's office, trying to psych myself to prepare for what is involved with a complete physical, park the car in the office parking lot and walk toward the building I normally go into. I spied a note, tacked on the door, to go to the building next door. (HUH?!?!?!?) I peered into the windows and saw that the office was all dark! I walk over to the building next door and tell the office staff person that I'm there for my doctor's appointment with Dr. So-n-So. She responds, without looking at the computer: "Oh no! Your appointment is supposed to be for TOMORROW (Saturday)!" (indicating that I needed to go to a different geographic location on the other side of town). I informed her that I was told that my appointment was November 26th in THIS office with Dr. So-n-So. She responds, "Well, Dr. So-n-So is not here today!" (I'm thinking, "Oh sh*t! Here we go AGAIN with the office staff screwing up my appointment and attempting to send me to a different location like they did the LAST time across town!) I informed her, again, that my appointment was NOT on a Saturday! She FINALLY checks her computer and informs me, "Oh, there's NO APPOINTMENT FOR YOU AT ALL!" (I was REALLY DISGUSTED by this point when I realized that the office staff COMPLETELY screwed up! :P) She asked me if I wanted to schedule my next doctor's appointment and I told her I prefer to wait until AFTER the holidays because of all the craziness and stupidity! I walked out!!!!
I HATE having my time and gas wasted, along with having my nerves plucked, by careless office staff people. This is the SECOND time my doctor's appointment was screwed because someone was careless with the appointment book!
Years before, a (now former) staff person REFUSED to permit me to speak with my doctor after a trip to the Emergency Room, which resulted in my having to be admitted to the hospital with complications. Later, during a late afternoon office appointment, (the LAST appointment of the day before starting her hospital rounds), the doctor started to yell at me for not calling her sooner. I told her that I HAD CALLED but the ding-dong answering the phone WOULD NOT PUT ME THROUGH!!!! (At that moment, the ding-dong in question sauntered in with a fistful of phone messages, tossed them on a chair, then sauntered out of the room.) I retrieved the pile of paper and handed them over to my doctor and said I can wait while she glances through them. The doctor was horrified to discover that one of the phone messages was from a HEART patient who had called FIRST THING THAT VERY MORNING regarding his medical condition!!!! The LAZY ding-dong couldn't be bothered to relay the message!!!! I pointed out to my doctor that I strongly suspect, based on what we were both seeing at that moment, that when I called after my trip to the Emergency Room, not only did this ding-dong REFUSE to put my phone call through to the doctor, either (a) she couldn't be bothered to write down the phone message or (b) she waited until AFTER the doctor left the office for hospital rounds to throw a pile of messages onto a chair, then disposed of those messages the next morning before the doctor arrived because the ding-dong deemed the messages OLD. Either way, the result was that the doctor was NOT receiving emergency messages in a timely manner which was putting the entire office in legal jeopardy. I pointed out that all it's going to take is for one of her patients to die and that patient's family to file either a malpractice and/or a wrongful death lawsuit against the doctor and/or the doctor's medical practice and because this ding-dong is acting as her agent, the doctor is legally liable. This lazy ding-dong could cost the doctor her livelihood! By my next doctor's appointment, the lazy ding-dong was GONE!
Now I'm dealing with a new batch of bozo's!!!!!
UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :P
Bones
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:|
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Sorry you had to go through this, Bones!
You'd think with so many skilled, competent people looking for work that they would get these jobs - instead of the ding-dongs of the world. I guess it doesn't work out that way in reality. I do know that it's just not possible in the standard interview process to determine whether someone has a good work ethic, reasonable judgement, and an ability to "step up" and know when to break the rules - when it makes sense to I mean, and to not see themselves "entitled" to all kinds of perks, benefits, and gaming the rules for their own agendas.
When I encounter one of these competent people doing work that they're obviously overqualified for... whether it's just temporary or they're working their way up in the world - I make sure I recognize them and let them know how much I appreciate how they do their job. All too often, these people get overlooked because they're not causing problems! Reality is, tho - that they're usually doing the work (or undoing it and fixing it) for 2-3 ding-dongs...
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Sorry you had to go through this, Bones!
You'd think with so many skilled, competent people looking for work that they would get these jobs - instead of the ding-dongs of the world. I guess it doesn't work out that way in reality. I do know that it's just not possible in the standard interview process to determine whether someone has a good work ethic, reasonable judgement, and an ability to "step up" and know when to break the rules - when it makes sense to I mean, and to not see themselves "entitled" to all kinds of perks, benefits, and gaming the rules for their own agendas.
When I encounter one of these competent people doing work that they're obviously overqualified for... whether it's just temporary or they're working their way up in the world - I make sure I recognize them and let them know how much I appreciate how they do their job. All too often, these people get overlooked because they're not causing problems! Reality is, tho - that they're usually doing the work (or undoing it and fixing it) for 2-3 ding-dongs...
Thanks, P.R.
It IS frustrating knowing that some of my friends are unemployed, looking for work, and can't get a job because the positions are already filled by these ding-dongs who don't give a sh*t about work ethics!
BTW, this may be my Asperger's getting in the way...I'm confused about your "when to break the rules" comment. Can you clarify that for me?
Thanks!
Bones
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Sure! this is an extreme and exaggerated illustration, but I hope it's clear...
Office policy and procedures are usually designed to promote efficiency and productivity... making everything run smoothly. So, let's use a doctor's office - patients are encouraged to make appointments and doctors allow x amount of time per patient. Some offices also allow walk-ins... but those patients have to wait for a spare moment.
Patient Smith has a regular checkup appt at 10:15. Walkin patient Jones arrives and signs in at 10:10 complaining of stomach pain.
They both are looking to see the same doctor.
The "rules" say that Patient Smith comes first, because h/she had made the appt in advance and patient Jones simply has to wait - and may not see the preferred doctor, either - being a walkin.
At 10:12, patient Jones falls on the floor rolling, screaming and holding her stomach in pain. At this point, a good employee would immediately go get the first doctor she sees... to treat patient Jones or at least assess what the problem was - and patient Smith would have to wait... perhaps long after the appt time, or would be rescheduled, if for instance the doctor needed was an OB-GYN and patient Jones was in labor.
Because life is full of surprises and unexpected situations, the rational common sense thing to do is to just chuck the "rules" when the situation calls for it... when the rules are getting in the way of what the right thing to do is. And some rules are kinda stupid, in and of themselves... they don't make sense even in run of the mill, ordinary life. Those rules just need to be changed.
My office had a rule for awhile... that all 18 of us had to eat lunch within a space of 2 hours; of course leaving some support people in the office while the others ate lunch & vice versa. When servers crashed - and the campus was without "mission critical" applications.... several of us completely ignored that rule in order to work to restore services, as quickly as possible. Imagine - and this happened more often than I liked - that you were taking a final exam online and the system went down. Sometimes, the questions you answered were restored when the system was fixed; sometimes not - and you had to start over from the beginning. Sometimes the online services that supported the exam could be restored in a matter of minutes or an hour; there were longer outages. Usually the registrar insists that grades - especially for graduating seniors - be reported immediately after the final exam schedule. So it was absolutely a first priority to determine what was wrong and fix it. Eating lunch in a specified time period didn't make a lick o' sense! So we just didn't do it - and the boss didn't insist, either. That rule eventually got "forgotten about".
Rules are always designed as "one size fits all" solution... but life isn't "one size fits all", all the time.
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Thanks, P.R.
In the case of the doctor's office, I believe there is a sign posted that medical emergencies will take priority over scheduled appointments. As it happened, I became one of those emergencies IN THE MIDDLE of my appointment when my blood pressure dropped without warning! What was originally a pre-scheduled 10-15 minute appointment to discuss and refill my prescriptions became long and drawn out! Nobody's fault! So the "break the rule" makes sense under these circumstances.
When it doesn't make sense is when there is "office politics" and "office pets" where favoritism is rampant!
Bones
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I can't imagine doing THIS to a SIX-YEAR-OLD CHILD!!!!
It horrifies me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(It's the second letter in this article.)
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20101129
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uuuuuhhhhh GEE - why doesn't "grandma" just buy another one for the other friend/child?
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uuuuuhhhhh GEE - why doesn't "grandma" just buy another one for the other friend/child?
Sounds like "grandma" is thinking only of herself instead of the child.
URGH!!!!!!!!!!
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I'm sitting here feeling absolutely horrified and sick!!! The news just announced that a GRANDMOTHER has been arrested for deliberating throwing her 2-year-old GRANDBABY several stories to the pavement from a parking garage walkway!!!!
WHY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
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Oh, Bones.
There is so much madness and cruelty. Our culture is in terrible crisis.
I think you need some sweet, heart-healing fiction.
love,
Hops
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Oh, Bones.
There is so much madness and cruelty. Our culture is in terrible crisis.
I think you need some sweet, heart-healing fiction.
love,
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
For something like this to happen during the Christmas season is just heart-rending! It just doesn't make sense!
Bones
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Hey Bones... it doesn't make sense at any time of year!
I believe that there are just as many good, kind, heartwarming stories out there - of people helping each other - as there are horror stories; it's just that the media believe that horror stories get better ratings (they don't KNOW; they haven't tried the other kind or reporting...).
When this stuff starts to get to me, I will find a way to "join the other team" and try to make someone's day, or help someone out, or even just make a harried, Christmas season cashier laugh. (Point for the good guys!) Oh yeah... and I don't read the paper that day or watch the news! It's sort of like the telephone - I really don't have an obligation to answer it, if it rings; and I don't have to subject myself all the time to the negative reporting, the sky is falling, the world is going to hell in a handbasket attitude that now passes for "information" either.
Hops! Do you still have a link to the "Good News Network" online? Are they still around?
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Hey Bones... it doesn't make sense at any time of year!
I believe that there are just as many good, kind, heartwarming stories out there - of people helping each other - as there are horror stories; it's just that the media believe that horror stories get better ratings (they don't KNOW; they haven't tried the other kind or reporting...).
When this stuff starts to get to me, I will find a way to "join the other team" and try to make someone's day, or help someone out, or even just make a harried, Christmas season cashier laugh. (Point for the good guys!) Oh yeah... and I don't read the paper that day or watch the news! It's sort of like the telephone - I really don't have an obligation to answer it, if it rings; and I don't have to subject myself all the time to the negative reporting, the sky is falling, the world is going to hell in a handbasket attitude that now passes for "information" either.
Hops! Do you still have a link to the "Good News Network" online? Are they still around?
Thanks, P.R.
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But, you are right - this one is pretty weird, Bones. I just read about it in the paper yesterday.
Apparently, while walking with other relatives, "grandma's" brain took a serious turn south... and while they watched, she just picked up the child and threw her off a pedestrian walkway. Like she just snapped... right now, they're not sure what the reason for the action was... and there was no mention of mental illness or anything else to explain it. And Grandma's not talking.
I wonder how much stuff like this happened at the same frequency it does now - only the "news" never got out of the immediate neighborhood? I also wonder, if I really NEED to know everything that's going on in other states, other countries, around the world? I mean, if I'm drowning in "information" does it really make me more "informed"? I know that after the saturation point, it sure doesn't make me smarter!
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http://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/about-us.html
And some favorite print publications (they're also online):
ODE: The Magazine for Intelligent Optimists
The Sun Magazine
UTNE Reader
E! The Environment Magazine
Green American
I can always find out something to feel positive and excited about in these.
xo
Hops
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Thank'ee Hops!
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But, you are right - this one is pretty weird, Bones. I just read about it in the paper yesterday.
Apparently, while walking with other relatives, "grandma's" brain took a serious turn south... and while they watched, she just picked up the child and threw her off a pedestrian walkway. Like she just snapped... right now, they're not sure what the reason for the action was... and there was no mention of mental illness or anything else to explain it. And Grandma's not talking.
I wonder how much stuff like this happened at the same frequency it does now - only the "news" never got out of the immediate neighborhood? I also wonder, if I really NEED to know everything that's going on in other states, other countries, around the world? I mean, if I'm drowning in "information" does it really make me more "informed"? I know that after the saturation point, it sure doesn't make me smarter!
I understand.
Now the TV news is mentioning that this grandmother may have a mental illness. God only knows!
Bones
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:|
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After yesterday's support group, I have begun to think that maybe I am expecting too much from a support group. With all the issues I am struggling with, a support group may not be enough. A support group is not the same as group therapy.
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This may be my Asperger's again...some things just CONFUSE the h*ll out of me!
It's that time of year where people are hustling and bustling, buying all kinds of holiday stuff for Hannukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, etc. and many purchases include the following DREADED words on the boxes.....ASSEMBLY REQUIRED.
For me, common sense tells me that when the box says "ASSEMBLY REQUIRED", the box will include WRITTEN DIRECTIONS on HOW TO PUT IT TOGETHER! Furthermore, common sense tells me that one READS the WRITTEN DIRECTIONS BEFORE BEGINNING ASSEMBLY.
Yesterday, the committee that I am on went out and purchased an artificial Christmas tree which includes lights already on it. I had to run home and get something and when I came back within less than five minutes, the other members of the committee had the tree components out of the box, scattered every which way, were trying to force pieces together and complaining that nothing was going right. I asked where are the written directions for assembly. One of the members pointed to a table on the far side of the room! I walk over to, said, table and discover that the directions are STILL INSIDE THE UNOPENED SHRINKWRAP!!!! NOBODY BOTHERED TO GET THEM OUT AND LOOK AT THEM!!!!!
I opened the directions, brought them back over to the group and had to repeat myself, several times, before anyone heard me, that maybe we SHOULD READ THE INSTRUCTIONS FIRST BEFORE ATTEMPTING ASSEMBLY. Nobody heard me at first because they kept talking over each other and complaining that the tree was not going together right! I ended up having to shout to get their attention. When I stated, again, that maybe we SHOULD READ THE INSTRUCTIONS FIRST, the response I got was: "We don't need to read the instructions! This assembly should be self-explanatory!" (HUH?!?!?!?!?) I pointed out their own comments that the tree was NOT going together right and that MAYBE we should look at the instructions. I've often heard the phrase, "If all else fails, FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS". The committee asked me to read the instructions to them while they went through Step 1, Step 2, etc. Within seconds, one of the committee members announces that the instructions are WRONG because they don't make sense to HER! (All this WITHOUT reviewing the directions FIRST!) Her husband suggested going back to the beginning and taking the components back down to the first one. She didn't want to do that because she had started putting on the decorations!!!! :roll:
Finally, the committee started READING the instructions for themselves, took down what they had already done, and FOLLOWED THE DIRECTIONS!!! The tree is now assembled and the lights work! (People are confusing! :roll:)
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Bones
I guess the moral of the tale is: don't allow a committee to put up a Christmas tree!
People are confusing? Not in that instance. They are just plain stupid. With bells and lights on!
well done :D
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Bones
I guess the moral of the tale is: don't allow a committee to put up a Christmas tree!
People are confusing? Not in that instance. They are just plain stupid. With bells and lights on!
well done :D
:lol:
Thanks, Guest!
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OT, but I really, really enjoyed asking the nice moving man when he was here packing:
Would you mind just wrapping up that Xmas tree and all those decorations? He said sure!
I kept a tiny (10") fake tree I actually like, had bought it for my Mom's breakfast table, and my one favorite ornament with my D's baby photo that she'd made in preschool. And the door wreath.
Otherwise, the tree, star, ornamants, garlands for balcony and mantel, cinnamon wreaths and bows I made, outside netting lights I'd put on the bushes, and the garlands and bows for the lamppost--all packed for my brother.
Who accused me (among his other adorable things, in a 8-page document) of "Not allowing my mother to celebrate Christmas".) ??????????? I created Xmas for her every single year. Took her to lovely feasts with close neighbors/friends who invited us year after year, took her shopping while she could and helped her order things after she couldn't, wrapped and mailed her presents, got her presents, put on the music, made the potpourri, took her to Xmas Eve services...typed her holiday letter, helped her do her cards.
And he actually put that on his "list" of "abuses". The tiny spark he had was, my D does not do Xmas. I raised her UU and she had the choice. (She'd always visit her grandmother and me for a week sometime near then.) So because NMom always complained pitifully to my brother, when she'd call him, that there wasn't enough Xmas (she wanted full-tilt Norman Rockwell and it wasn't available, I could not recreate a big extended family for her and my brother's family rarely came) ... he took that tiny spark (my D not participating) and painted me with the same brush, when it bore no relation to reality at all.
I just really, really enjoyed the idea of him opening box after box after box of all the Xmas stuff I used to make a peaceful, pleasant, reliable and musical Xmas for our mother year after year.
(Not that he'd turn a hair about all the lies he told. I'm sure it didn't really trouble him a bit. But it was fun for me anyway.) And I love having that tiny tree with 2 ornaments and 1 door wreath, it feels so nice. That and the great music.
Hops
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OT, but I really, really enjoyed asking the nice moving man when he was here packing:
Would you mind just wrapping up that Xmas tree and all those decorations? He said sure!
I kept a tiny (10") fake tree I actually like, had bought it for my Mom's breakfast table, and my one favorite ornament with my D's baby photo that she'd made in preschool. And the door wreath.
Otherwise, the tree, star, ornamants, garlands for balcony and mantel, cinnamon wreaths and bows I made, outside netting lights I'd put on the bushes, and the garlands and bows for the lamppost--all packed for my brother.
Who accused me (among his other adorable things, in a 8-page document) of "Not allowing my mother to celebrate Christmas".) ??????????? I created Xmas for her every single year. Took her to lovely feasts with close neighbors/friends who invited us year after year, took her shopping while she could and helped her order things after she couldn't, wrapped and mailed her presents, got her presents, put on the music, made the potpourri, took her to Xmas Eve services...typed her holiday letter, helped her do her cards.
And he actually put that on his "list" of "abuses". The tiny spark he had was, my D does not do Xmas. I raised her UU and she had the choice. (She'd always visit her grandmother and me for a week sometime near then.) So because NMom always complained pitifully to my brother, when she'd call him, that there wasn't enough Xmas (she wanted full-tilt Norman Rockwell and it wasn't available, I could not recreate a big extended family for her and my brother's family rarely came) ... he took that tiny spark (my D not participating) and painted me with the same brush, when it bore no relation to reality at all.
I just really, really enjoyed the idea of him opening box after box after box of all the Xmas stuff I used to make a peaceful, pleasant, reliable and musical Xmas for our mother year after year.
(Not that he'd turn a hair about all the lies he told. I'm sure it didn't really trouble him a bit. But it was fun for me anyway.) And I love having that tiny tree with 2 ornaments and 1 door wreath, it feels so nice. That and the great music.
Hops
(((((((((((Hops)))))))))))))))))))
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Bones, hon - you were the only sane, rational, competent one in that bunch! Glad you finally got them to see sense. Is it snowing where you are? Even here at the beach, there was a threat of snow - and it's close! But still no white stuff!
HOPS! does your post mean that you'll be moving soon? I'm confused; I knew you were packing up your bro's stuff and shipping to him... but packing your tree? Is that just one item being packed... or one of many? I've been so self-involved lately I feel like I've not paid enough attention to what's going on with everyone else... and so completely missing things.
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Bones, hon - you were the only sane, rational, competent one in that bunch! Glad you finally got them to see sense. Is it snowing where you are? Even here at the beach, there was a threat of snow - and it's close! But still no white stuff!
HOPS! does your post mean that you'll be moving soon? I'm confused; I knew you were packing up your bro's stuff and shipping to him... but packing your tree? Is that just one item being packed... or one of many? I've been so self-involved lately I feel like I've not paid enough attention to what's going on with everyone else... and so completely missing things.
Thanks, P.R.!
It's COLD here but no snow yet. After last winter, I don't want to see snow for a LONG while!
Bones
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No sorry--I confused you.
I just meant the man from the moving company who was here to pack the furnishings and such (the personal property) that was to go to my brother as part of our legal settlement.
I'm still here, with two rooms empty (but I like them that way!) and quite cozy in my usual digs. The LR is still all furnished and quite lovely. He wanted all the furnishings and valuables from the dining room and the master bedroom suite and is welcome to them. I love it that all that stuff is gone, because it felt as though my brother's poison went with it, in a way.
I sent off the tree as it was not a happy item for me--my mother pressured me like mad year after year to create an impossible Christmas, and though I always did all I could, I soured on the holiday too. (The bit about an imagined rebuke to him, is just my imagining.)
xo
Hops
(thanks for the space Bones...bitter cold here too! Stay warm and I think it's hot chocolate weather.)
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Thks Hops - I think my anxiety button is working overtime, these days! That, and my "empathy" button is a bit raw from overuse, lately.
About Christmas aversion, I'm beginning to think that there's a real connection between the "unrealistic expectation" of a Currier & Ives or Madison Avenue experience... and the unrealistic expectations forced on some of us, by the Ns in our lives. So I get it, about how much relief you felt sending the tree, too.
Bones - back to you! Tks for allowing us to "cross-talk"!
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No sorry--I confused you.
I just meant the man from the moving company who was here to pack the furnishings and such (the personal property) that was to go to my brother as part of our legal settlement.
I'm still here, with two rooms empty (but I like them that way!) and quite cozy in my usual digs. The LR is still all furnished and quite lovely. He wanted all the furnishings and valuables from the dining room and the master bedroom suite and is welcome to them. I love it that all that stuff is gone, because it felt as though my brother's poison went with it, in a way.
I sent off the tree as it was not a happy item for me--my mother pressured me like mad year after year to create an impossible Christmas, and though I always did all I could, I soured on the holiday too. (The bit about an imagined rebuke to him, is just my imagining.)
xo
Hops
(thanks for the space Bones...bitter cold here too! Stay warm and I think it's hot chocolate weather.)
You're welcome, Hops!
Hot chocolate AND hot cider with a stick of cinnamon in it!
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Thks Hops - I think my anxiety button is working overtime, these days! That, and my "empathy" button is a bit raw from overuse, lately.
About Christmas aversion, I'm beginning to think that there's a real connection between the "unrealistic expectation" of a Currier & Ives or Madison Avenue experience... and the unrealistic expectations forced on some of us, by the Ns in our lives. So I get it, about how much relief you felt sending the tree, too.
Bones - back to you! Tks for allowing us to "cross-talk"!
You're welcome, P.R.!
Christmas is so stressful right now and I can't help but feel a bit jaded about it.
I remember how I felt as a child, enjoying the beauty of the Christmas lights, the animated window displays, and the snow. Now, it feels so commercialized with all the ads showing families getting together, (reminding me of what never existed in my reality), and the constant message of: "BUY, BUY, BUY!!!!", (even when one can't afford it; then pressure to put it on a credit card that one can't afford either.) Oh, then there is the occasional reminder of this charity or that....until January....when the attitude seems to revert back to: "Not my problem, your problem!" :P
Bones
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Exactly Bones - that's what I meant about unrealistic expectations.
My family will never be the one in the ads - and it never was when I was a kid either. But then - it matters so little now because I've got "phamily"... and I get out & enjoy the lights etc, by my own self! In high school, I used to treat myself to midnight mass on Christmas Eve, to wash away the taste of my family's version of celebrating. It was like having my own private Christmas and it could be any way I wanted it to be.
I seriously fight the urge to "not celebrate" now, though. I'll not be denied participating - somehow - in the festivities just because all my early Christmas's were wrecked with awful fights; serious tension & anxiety; and overall gloom. That would be letting "them" win, to me. Hubby is genetically descended from one of Santa's elves and is the biggest kid of all - even this year, losing his mom. In some ways, it gives him some relief and a sense of "normal" - and let's him carry on doing what his mom so got a kick out of.
Here's how I boil down Christmas - sans sentimentality and marketing:
it's a holiday like any other holiday - no work and a chance to get together for a meal, catching up with people and their lives... with presents. The presents don't have to be "the one thing I've (they've) always wanted".... if I knew what that was for me, I'd probably stop posting because I'd be so happy & well adjusted I wouldn't have anything relevant to say here! :D I sure don't know what it will be for someone else... so I just do the best I can. IF I get inspired - great! It seems like every year I find something memorable for a different person...
I am hostess-ly challenged so I've kinda learned to cope by always keeping things casual and informal. And I'm not afraid to slip in something I picked up at a bakery or deli, either! Even tho' I used to bake a lot.
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Thanks, P.R.
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Just random thinking this morning....
You may have heard of the TV program, "Stupid Criminals"....well, what about writing a book about "Dumb Things That N's Do"? What would you put in the book?
Bones
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It would not be a book, Bones, it would be a set of Encyclopedias :lol:
In keeping with the holiday season, which goes without saying were stress-filled beyond belief with NM at the helm, this is a gem from Christmas past:
I had just gotten married in October (32 years ago), so DH and I were very excited to spend our first Christmas together as a married couple in our own home. I also vowed that the holidays would be completely different in my household. No stress, no fights, no drama! So even though money was not plentiful, we had kept aside some of our wedding money in anticipation of the holidays. I always loved a real tree, NM used fake ones cause she hated the mess real trees made. Of course, she found the cheapest one available and kept it for years, way past its prime. By the time I was married that poor tree of NM's had been serving us for at least 10 years by now and it was in sad shape. So at Thanksgiving that year, NM asked what we were doing for a tree. I told her we were going to get a real one. So of course she went on and on how much better it was to have a fake one, trying to push her POV down our throats. DH politely told her that we had made our decision and to back off. She was miffed, but said nothing but had a strange smirk on her face. Christmas Day comes and were are at NM for dinner. (We would spend Christmas Eve at my in laws.) I noticed that NM had gotten a new fake tree that year, but did not put 2 and 2 together at the time. Now, of course I would understand. Gift giving comes around and NM pushes over to DH and I this huge box. Its beautifully wrapped and heavy. I could not imagine what it was. We were so excited to see what it was. I know all of you know what it was. Yes, the old decrepit fake tree that had been replaced. DH and I were speechless. NM launches into a speech on how we don't need to waste our money again now that we have a tree that will last for years. Without saying a word, DH gets up, takes the tree and marches outside and throws the entire mess into the trash bin. It was now NM turn to be shocked. She told us we were ungrateful and DH set her straight on that. We left shortly after. Oh and by the way, that was our ONLY gift that year. Not that I care about "things", but when she asked us what we wanted for Christmas that year we had asked for an electric heater since our apartment heat could be iffy at times. But as usual NM had her won agenda.
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It would not be a book, Bones, it would be a set of Encyclopedias :lol:
In keeping with the holiday season, which goes without saying were stress-filled beyond belief with NM at the helm, this is a gem from Christmas past:
I had just gotten married in October (32 years ago), so DH and I were very excited to spend our first Christmas together as a married couple in our own home. I also vowed that the holidays would be completely different in my household. No stress, no fights, no drama! So even though money was not plentiful, we had kept aside some of our wedding money in anticipation of the holidays. I always loved a real tree, NM used fake ones cause she hated the mess real trees made. Of course, she found the cheapest one available and kept it for years, way past its prime. By the time I was married that poor tree of NM's had been serving us for at least 10 years by now and it was in sad shape. So at Thanksgiving that year, NM asked what we were doing for a tree. I told her we were going to get a real one. So of course she went on and on how much better it was to have a fake one, trying to push her POV down our throats. DH politely told her that we had made our decision and to back off. She was miffed, but said nothing but had a strange smirk on her face. Christmas Day comes and were are at NM for dinner. (We would spend Christmas Eve at my in laws.) I noticed that NM had gotten a new fake tree that year, but did not put 2 and 2 together at the time. Now, of course I would understand. Gift giving comes around and NM pushes over to DH and I this huge box. Its beautifully wrapped and heavy. I could not imagine what it was. We were so excited to see what it was. I know all of you know what it was. Yes, the old decrepit fake tree that had been replaced. DH and I were speechless. NM launches into a speech on how we don't need to waste our money again now that we have a tree that will last for years. Without saying a word, DH gets up, takes the tree and marches outside and throws the entire mess into the trash bin. It was now NM turn to be shocked. She told us we were ungrateful and DH set her straight on that. We left shortly after. Oh and by the way, that was our ONLY gift that year. Not that I care about "things", but when she asked us what we wanted for Christmas that year we had asked for an electric heater since our apartment heat could be iffy at times. But as usual NM had her own agenda.
YAY to your Hubby!!!!!! I LOVE his response to her Royal #$@!-ness!!!! I'm not surprised that she attempted to gift her garbage!!! UGH!!!! :P
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Yes DH is pretty awesome and never took any crap from NM. He was raised in a normal family, so he would see through the BS right away and was able to validate my feelings. He's a great guy!
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Applause for hubby for sticking up for you with NM, being insulted by her rediculous "gift" that only pleased herself, and dealing with it in a no nonsense fashion.
That's just a super story!
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Yes DH is pretty awesome and never took any crap from NM. He was raised in a normal family, so he would see through the BS right away and was able to validate my feelings. He's a great guy!
Yeah, he's DEFINITELY a keeper!!! :D
Bones
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Under the category of "America's Dumbest N's", what other stuff would you describe here?
One Christmas memory that comes to mind occurred way back when I was still a little kid. NWomb-Donor came home, carrying a paper grocery bag, set it down in front of my NGC brother and me and told us NOT to look in it because it was for Christmas! (Now how STUPID is THAT?!?!?!? :?) Needless to say, being curious YOUNG CHILDREN, we peeked into the bag and what I saw was nothing more than cast-off JUNK from HER friends!! :P NWomb-Donor caught us DISOBEYING HER ROYAL DECREE, flew into another one of her N-RAGES, and BEAT both of us. She then DECREED that we would NEVER get what was in that bag and we never did! (I look back at that and realized that by NOT GIVING US THAT TRASHY SH*T, she did us an inadvertent favor!)
Bones
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I must confess, Amy Alkon's phrase of "Narcissistic Jerkwad" had me rolling on the floor laughing!!!!! :lol:
http://www.creators.com/advice/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/the-boors-and-the-bees.html
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What other examples can you give of "America's Dumbest N's"?
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When I was working some years ago, the following happened to a now-former co-worker:
She arrived for work, one Monday morning, crying about being in jail over the weekend! :shock: I asked her what happened. She proceeded to tell me that she had gone over to a city in Montgomery County, Maryland, and parked her car in a spot that was clearly marked: "No Parking" IN FRONT OF A POLICE OFFICER!!! :shock: :shock: The police officer pointed out the "No Parking" sign and informed her that she is NOT allowed to park her car there. She got miffed, got back in her car, and proceeded to move her car to another spot that was, again, clearly marked: "NO PARKING" while the police officer watched her! :shock: :shock: :shock: He walked over to her and, again, pointed out the "No Parking" sign and reminded her that she is NOT allowed to park her car where it says "No Parking". At that point, she reached into her car, pulled out an empty pop bottle, AND THREW IT AT THE POLICE OFFICER!!!! :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: Needless to say, she got arrested, had handcuffs slapped on her, and was thrown in jail until she was able to get one of her friends to bail her out!
At the end of her "tale of woe", she demanded I feel sorry for HER because this police officer had the audacity to tell her "N-O"! (WTF?!?!?!? :?) The only response I could give was: "You assaulted a police officer by throwing a pop bottle at him! What do you expect?!?!?!? I can't feel sorry for stupidity! What would Judge Judy say to that?!?!?" She got ROYALLY pissed off at me because I DARED side with the police officer against her! (*Shaking my head*)
Bones
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Here is one for you Bones..
N has an affair (while with husband)
N divorced from husband and had an affair on the affair/bf
The last b/f dumped her but is still in contact
Then she got a new b/f kept contact with the two (affair) b/f's and ex-husband
The new b/f she said (assaulted her) then didn't assult her and he dumped her but still in contact with her..
And was with some of the (affair, affair, b'fs friends).
With the one b/f ...She told everyone she was moving to NY
With the other b/f ...She told everyone she was moving down South
Then she was going to Fla
Now to Calif...
And she invited everyone of them for Christmas ... :shock:
Jerry, Jerry, Springer, Jerry.......
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Here is one for you Bones..
N has an affair (while with husband)
N divorced from husband and had an affair on the affair/bf
The last b/f dumped her but is still in contact
Then she got a new b/f kept contact with the two (affair) b/f's and ex-husband
The new b/f she said (assaulted her) then didn't assult her and he dumped her but still in contact with her..
And was with some of the (affair, affair, b'fs friends).
With the one b/f ...She told everyone she was moving to NY
With the other b/f ...She told everyone she was moving down South
Then she was going to Fla
Now to Calif...
And she invited everyone of them for Christmas ... :shock:
Jerry, Jerry, Springer, Jerry.......
OMG, that N is a SCREWBALL!!!!!!!
Bones
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Please add to the encyclopedia of "Dumb Things That N's Do".
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Have not been in a good place, physically, this week. Tuesday, December 7th, I had a sonogram done on my kidneys to check for the cyst that the urologist noticed on my CT scan. The procedure itself wasn't bad but, later, I had a bout of pain in both my spastic colon and kidneys. (Made me wonder if the ultra-sound triggered that.) Then I had to go back to the dentist on Thursday because a bone fragment, from a tooth extraction, had pierced upward through the gum and the fragment had to get cut out. UGH!!! :P
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Owww, so sorry, Bones!
You have a plateload of things to deal with and you're awfully brave about it.
Hope you shed the discomfort fast and get back to Living Large in the Moment.
xo
Hops
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Owww, so sorry, Bones!
You have a plateload of things to deal with and you're awfully brave about it.
Hope you shed the discomfort fast and get back to Living Large in the Moment.
xo
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
Bones
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Not sleeping well this morning and also feel the need to vent a little.
My community had a holiday party, recently, and there had been discussion about a Secret Santa gift exchange that really didn't get past the verbal stage. (I've participated in Secret Santa gift exchanges before I retired and I tend to be a bit anal about how it is organized. For example, for people who want to participate, they would fill out a form explaining what they like, what they don't like, ANY FOOD ALLERGIES, medical issues, etc. so that the individual drawing their name won't blindly buy "stuff" that is inappropriate/can't be used. Does this make sense?)
Well, because the discussion never got past the verbal stage during the planning of this party, I didn't buy anything because (1) I had no idea WHO to buy for, (according to their Santa Wish), (2) NOR did I have that kind of money to splurge due to all the medical stuff that has hit me this year. Several others, on the committee, didn't buy anything either because they forgot about the discussion, (nothing was written down). One person bought gifts for everyone else on the committee and fussed about the fact that no one else did. (Unfortunately, the gifts she bought weren't exactly suitable for the recipients. I got a set of socks that are several sizes too big and I, normally, don't wear socks.) If she expected me to blindly buy STUFF for EVERYONE on the committee, I just don't have that kind of finances nor do I feel comfortable buying "stuff" that someone could be allergic to, doesn't want or can't use! :P
Is it just me?
Bones
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Morning Bones! I can appreciate your frustration! Secret Santa is for the under 12 set! By our age it is simply a Pain -- no secret. I give a little gift to those I care to and steer clear of the "forced' giving. They don't seem to realize what a huge sacrifice it can represent to shave out cash for Christmas! Have you noticed how many of us "victims" are BROKE? I only have what little I have (left) because I've finally said NO! (low contact four years - no contact 11 months).
But at the same time -- this is my first ever Christmas that I'm in charge -- and I'm trying very hard to have a lovely sane holiday. Started in Oct and got out long forgotten Christmas things and am dong the whole bit just for us two this year -- but low key with no huge expectations.
So in other words, I've got a lot of hope for us!
Your post reminded me of several (hideous / funny now) Christmas stories -- we should start a thread? Do you think?
Love and Merry Christmas if I can't find my voice again by then. Biddy
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Thanks, Biddy! I LOVE your idea!!! :D
What is the most HIDEOUS/UNSUITABLE/DUMB gift that an N gave you?
I'll start with a few: a half-used jar of jelly, two boxes of (unwrapped) dish-washing detergent with the prices written on them in LARGE NUMBERS in black magic marker, socks that are either too big or too small.
Who's next?
Bones
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At our house, it wasn't the gift usually, so much as the twisting of the guts that always accompanied it! I think of it as the mindf#@k that keeps on giving.
-- sorry I didn't think you would want all that junk here and started a new thread -- more than happy to move our "memories" back over here if you want! Didn't mean to hijack your thread!
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Oh Bones, LOL ..half jar of jelly :shock: Lousy gift but gave me a laugh. Laundry Det (another laugh) lol.
I hope you are feeling better today.
Pocahontas pillow cover (1) but my D was 19 years old.
Picture and frame (an elderly couple) that no one knew.
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At our house, it wasn't the gift usually, so much as the twisting of the guts that always accompanied it! I think of it as the mindf#@k that keeps on giving.
-- sorry I didn't think you would want all that junk here and started a new thread -- more than happy to move our "memories" back over here if you want! Didn't mean to hijack your thread!
No problem!
When N's violate our boundaries, in a variety of ways, we all should be able to vent about it.
Bones
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Hi Bones, your question is appropriate. Try this one: sending me a bday pack which includes a happy bday banner which I know - because I bought it - was last used at my recently late father's bday a few years ago; which I said 'keep' at the time because you can use it again. My frugality and recycling nature rather backfired on me there; or; some people need their heads examining; or, WTF several times over. Actually, I reckon FFS is called for, with much eye-rolling and 'tsk'ing. That's just the latest. There are too many.
I don't think that beats a half-used jar of jelly though. Honestly. FFS!!!!!!!!!! :P
As for secret santa..... <barf>.
Biddy: I think of it as the mindf#@k that keeps on giving.
:lol: I like it!
Thanks, Guest!
BTW, this may be my Asperger's getting in the way...what is "FFS"?
Bones
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Oh Bones, LOL ..half jar of jelly :shock: Lousy gift but gave me a laugh. Laundry Det (another laugh) lol.
I hope you are feeling better today.
Pocahontas pillow cover (1) but my D was 19 years old.
Picture and frame (an elderly couple) that no one knew.
You got that right! *Shaking my head*
Bones
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Then there was one time I found Altoids in my Christmas stocking! (This was from boyfriend.) Not sure what to make of that.
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My ultimately most meaningful Christmas gift, ever, which I've shared here before, was when my Nmom went to considerable trouble, considering her advanced age, to order from a catalogue a little flowery plaque that said: "I smile because you are my Daughter. I laugh because there is nothing you can do about it." She was so amused.
I was slackjawed but over time, came to really appreciate having this thing. I keep it in a basket of stuff in my bathroom. It's like a reality check.
And, perversely, it is sort of fuNNy.
I will probably have it hanging above the toilet in a future home...(can't do that now with realtors trotting through).
I have never speculated on the inventor of the gift, but perhaps there are Nmothers across the land, spotting that in a tacky catalogue, and something in their minds actually lights up with pleasure. Hey! Somebody gets how I feel about my child! This is a perfect object!
:lol: :lol: :lol:
Seriously, I'm not miffed about it any more -- haven't been for ages. It's more funny than sad to me now. Oh the iroNy.
Hops
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There have been so many inappropriate gifts over the years, I could go on for pages and pages.
Now since she can't be bothered actually shopping and making the effort, even though that effort was poor, she just gives cash. This is better since we can now all buy ourselves something we act want/need/like.
As an aside, she called up my brother and myself this year - demanding - not asking mind you - demanding that we buy her a new TV. The TV she has is fine and only 3 years old, but she wants a bigger one. Both of us told her that wasn't happening. Both of us said, that we had a budget and we'd be more than happy to give her in cash what we would have spent on her gift. Well, you can imagine that NM was not pleased. She told us never mind and hung up on both of us in a snit.
Merry Christmas! :x
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My ultimately most meaningful Christmas gift, ever, which I've shared here before, was when my Nmom went to considerable trouble, considering her advanced age, to order from a catalogue a little flowery plaque that said: "I smile because you are my Daughter. I laugh because there is nothing you can do about it." She was so amused.
I was slackjawed but over time, came to really appreciate having this thing. I keep it in a basket of stuff in my bathroom. It's like a reality check.
And, perversely, it is sort of fuNNy.
I will probably have it hanging above the toilet in a future home...(can't do that now with realtors trotting through).
I have never speculated on the inventor of the gift, but perhaps there are Nmothers across the land, spotting that in a tacky catalogue, and something in their minds actually lights up with pleasure. Hey! Somebody gets how I feel about my child! This is a perfect object!
:lol: :lol: :lol:
Seriously, I'm not miffed about it any more -- haven't been for ages. It's more funny than sad to me now. Oh the iroNy.
Hops
IroNy is an UNDER-statement!
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There have been so many inappropriate gifts over the years, I could go on for pages and pages.
Now since she can't be bothered actually shopping and making the effort, even though that effort was poor, she just gives cash. This is better since we can now all buy ourselves something we act want/need/like.
As an aside, she called up my brother and myself this year - demanding - not asking mind you - demanding that we buy her a new TV. The TV she has is fine and only 3 years old, but she wants a bigger one. Both of us told her that wasn't happening. Both of us said, that we had a budget and we'd be more than happy to give her in cash what we would have spent on her gift. Well, you can imagine that NM was not pleased. She told us never mind and hung up on both of us in a snit.
Merry Christmas! :x
And I'm imagining the NWomb-Donor stamping her feet in a two-year-old/toddler tantrum! Let's put a lump of coal in her Christmas stocking! :wink:
Bones
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I think my radar is getting more fine-tuned and this may be a sign of growth.
I'm on another e-mail forum of people with similar disabilities and a new person joined not too long ago. It wasn't long before I started seeing the old, familiar, N-Games of accusations, gas-lighting, etc. and I just sat and watched to see how other members responded to her, which they did by stating their BOUNDARIES!!!! YAY!!!! :D Needless to say, their boundaries triggered a snit on her part and she DEMANDED to be un-subbed IMMEDIATELY, which the moderator gladly did! Her last message was pointed to me, by name, wanting me to e-mail her, off-list, to discuss "issues". I recognized her attempts at Triangulation and I hit "DELETE"!
Don't need that aggravation!
Bones
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BTW, this may be my Asperger's getting in the way...what is "FFS"?
Bones, FFS is short for......For Goodness Sake! (the urban dictionary says it better: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=FFS ).
Like WTF is short for Wednesday, Thursday, Friday ..... :mrgreen:
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Thanks, Guest!
BTW, for everyone, I'm going to have to be offline for a while because my home computer is acting up and I am unable to dial-up the Internet with it anymore. The cost of getting it repaired is more than a new one would cost so it looks like I'm going to have to replace it. Because I'm dealing with medical issues on a fixed income, it's going to be a long time before I can afford to buy a new computer. The only thing I can do is wish for Santa to bring me a new laptop. :(
Bones
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We'll keep your seat warm, Bones.
You will not be forgotten during your break, don't worry!
(I'm very sorry all this is hitting you in your wallet.)
love,
Hops
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Thanks, Hops.
I'm back and dealing with this one-day-at-a-time.
This Christmas feels like the worst I have ever experienced!
Bones
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We'll keep your seat warm, Bones.
You will not be forgotten during your break, don't worry!
(I'm very sorry all this is hitting you in your wallet.)
love,
Hops
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Dealing with a lot of mess right now. Will discuss later.
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OH Bones! I hope it's not too intense or complicated - if it's just "mess", that'll wash off you know!
Glad to see you online again. I was wondering how you were doing.
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OH Bones! I hope it's not too intense or complicated - if it's just "mess", that'll wash off you know!
Glad to see you online again. I was wondering how you were doing.
Thanks, P.R.
I feeling extremely depressed right now to the point of having suicidal thoughts. Mr. Idiot showed up, on Christmas Day, with BAGS OF DIRTY LAUNDRY AND NOTHING ELSE AND THOUGHT HE WAS BEING CUTE! :P
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OH LORD, Bones! Don't do something that drastic over dirty socks & underwear!!
Jeez... ex #2 complained so bitterly about how I did laundry, that I tied all his underwear in nice tight knots for him! (He stopped complaining!!) So, when Mr. Idiot doesn't like the way you do laundry, then you can simply refer him to the professionals. It'll send the message loud & clear, I think, that you're not his mommy and won't be treated like a cinderella, either.
So...... what else is contributing to your gloom, sweetie?
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OH LORD, Bones! Don't do something that drastic over dirty socks & underwear!!
Jeez... ex #2 complained so bitterly about how I did laundry, that I tied all his underwear in nice tight knots for him! (He stopped complaining!!) So, when Mr. Idiot doesn't like the way you do laundry, then you can simply refer him to the professionals. It'll send the message loud & clear, I think, that you're not his mommy and won't be treated like a cinderella, either.
So...... what else is contributing to your gloom, sweetie?
PTSD Flashbacks and feeling isolated. Mr. Idiot did his own laundry and he brought food, earlier, for Christmas dinner. However, he laid down on the floor and went to sleep while I was trying to cook something. Trying to get him to help with dinner preparations was like TALKING TO A CHILD! This IDIOT is PUSHING 60 and acts like a LITTLE BOY! Have no family, no Christmas presents, and I'm tired of struggling.
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PTSD from your mom? I get that... sort of on the emotional wavelength... without regard to what's going on around me in the present.
It was just hubs & me yesterday. I'd already bought him some stuff (and he knew what it was) and vice versa... so no presents. We did our usual... and played video games. I was aware that I was trying to quell anxiety - which is a precursor to my depressive withdrawals from people. When I started making dinner, he insisted on being right in my way and telling me not just what to do - but how to do it - to prepare the meat to go in the oven. We'd already discussed the recipe I was using earlier in the day. When I asked him to put back the huge roasting pan he completely missed the request and then got right in my face with more instructions - and I blew my top and yelled at him. He made a big deal about putting the pan back up in the high cabinet - which I was able to reach to get down (and he's taller than I am)... and yelled back.
At which point he pulled something that aggravated an old hernia (that he refuses to have repaired surgically). This is horribly painful for him and there is absolutely nothing I can do for him. (Except repeat that he could get this repaired... sigh.) We both apologized; we both felt bad. And yes, he needs reassurance that I'm not going put all his stuff out on the front lawn and change the locks. After 10 years, I can't get him to relax about this... or understand that I get angry - I blow my top (when triggered like that) - and then, I'm over it. It's all done. Unlike some people - that kind of thing won't come back to haunt him from me.
So, Bones - I know. Try as we might to have a calm, peaceful day... this stuff just shows up un-announced and insists we deal with it. Just like your Mr. Idiot did. But I think there IS a way out of this... a way to finally 'fix' that... for me, it does help that hubs can "let those things go" quickly, too. Usually, I hurt myself as a result of one those "episodes" - like burning my hand on an oven rack or something. It doesn't happen to other people; and it really bothers me that it did this time. But, I can't dwell on it because today is a new day - we get another chance to "get it right this time" and refine, improve, and try something completely different - you know? Yesterday is already "old news"... and we can't do anything about it, now. We can only do something about today.
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Thanks, P.R.
On top of that, I have to go hassle with my bank because they messed up my deposit and $25.00 in cash mysteriously disappeared after I gave it, and my deposit slip, to the teller, who is now insisting that I never gave her the cash! It looks like I have to go through another hassle to change banks if my current bank tried to continue insisting that I never made that deposit because the paperwork, on their end, wasn't done. That money was earmarked for my medical bills and the bank is screwing up!
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OOOOOhhh. Those kinds of issues are always the worst! I don't know why, exactly, but issues with accounting, banks, and money are always able to make me anxious, guilty, and just down-right miserable.
It's really hard to "prove" that you made such & such a deposit - unless of course, they have you recorded on their security cameras, which they run even at the drive-throughs and atms, I think. I try to hang on to my receipts until the deposit displays online, these days. It's pretty clear there a mistake made by the teller - probably in your account number, so that the deposit was credited to another account - and that's giving the teller the benefit of the doubt.
I wish I could say that doing everything online was more reliable, or secure, or less mistake prone - but I can't. And even with my background in tech - I still like to have most of my transactions done the old-fashioned way. But yeah - there are even problems with that approach...
I hope you can get it sorted out, Bones! Maybe next week it'll just go away.
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OOOOOhhh. Those kinds of issues are always the worst! I don't know why, exactly, but issues with accounting, banks, and money are always able to make me anxious, guilty, and just down-right miserable.
It's really hard to "prove" that you made such & such a deposit - unless of course, they have you recorded on their security cameras, which they run even at the drive-throughs and atms, I think. I try to hang on to my receipts until the deposit displays online, these days. It's pretty clear there a mistake made by the teller - probably in your account number, so that the deposit was credited to another account - and that's giving the teller the benefit of the doubt.
I wish I could say that doing everything online was more reliable, or secure, or less mistake prone - but I can't. And even with my background in tech - I still like to have most of my transactions done the old-fashioned way. But yeah - there are even problems with that approach...
I hope you can get it sorted out, Bones! Maybe next week it'll just go away.
At this point, I don't know. I have my receipt but the online info shows that the teller credited only part of the deposit. She could have easily pocketed the cash when no one was looking.
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Well, all you should need to show the branch manager is your receipt - and let her pull up the record and see the discrepency. Just ask her to make your account "right" - and let her handle all the rest.
That should be enough to settle that problem... you know?
-
Well, all you should need to show the branch manager is your receipt - and let her pull up the record and see the discrepency. Just ask her to make your account "right" - and let her handle all the rest.
That should be enough to settle that problem... you know?
I can only hope so as I really don't trust Mega-National Bank (a.k.a. Bank of America).
-
((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))
Sending you love.
A peaceful pause on the roof, to look at the winter sky.
A good cry if you need (invisible hugs, remembering we care about you) ... then inside for cocoa.
I say screw the traditional meals and all, it's just tyranny.
Eat Cheerios and watch the sky, smell winter.
Christmas is tyrannical and it's hard.
love to you,
Hops
-
((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))
Sending you love.
A peaceful pause on the roof, to look at the winter sky.
A good cry if you need (invisible hugs, remembering we care about you) ... then inside for cocoa.
I say screw the traditional meals and all, it's just tyranny.
Eat Cheerios and watch the sky, smell winter.
Christmas is tyrannical and it's hard.
love to you,
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
I keep beating myself up, telling myself that I need to grow up, be an adult, and stop wishing for the perfect Christmas, or any better Christmas, or even Christmas at all, than I had growing up. And, at the same time, it still hurts.
-
Gotta go hassle with Mega-National Bank as soon as it opens this morning. :P
-
It might could turn out to be a very refreshing experience, Bones!
After all, you're just helping them "count beans" into the right accounts... and they do appreciate it (most of the time). Fingers crossed that you don't encounter some ole Monday morning after Christmas grump.
-
It might could turn out to be a very refreshing experience, Bones!
After all, you're just helping them "count beans" into the right accounts... and they do appreciate it (most of the time). Fingers crossed that you don't encounter some ole Monday morning after Christmas grump.
Or some dishonest idiot who insists that I never made the deposit in the first place and attempts to accuse me of scamming the bank! :P
-
Yeah - that's possible, Bones...
BUT... it wouldn't be very good PR or customer relations for the bank, now would it? Don't go to another teller; ask for the branch manager. They're usually less stressed and their job depends on keeping customers!
-
Yeah - that's possible, Bones...
BUT... it wouldn't be very good PR or customer relations for the bank, now would it? Don't go to another teller; ask for the branch manager. They're usually less stressed and their job depends on keeping customers!
I'm planning on meeting with the manager in less than one hour.
-
I'm so glad you're back! We survived another Yuletide, ha ha ha!
Love, Biddy
-
I'm so glad you're back! We survived another Yuletide, ha ha ha!
Love, Biddy
Thanks, Biddy.
I just got back from the bank. They say they will research it and call me about the problem on Wednesday.
-
Well, that's progress anyway - it does seem like they're giving you the runaround though; for $25.00??? and you have the receipt after all... and they have a record of what was deposited to your account... doesn't seem like there's much to research, except for them to figure out "what went wrong" on their end.
-
Well, that's progress anyway - it does seem like they're giving you the runaround though; for $25.00??? and you have the receipt after all... and they have a record of what was deposited to your account... doesn't seem like there's much to research, except for them to figure out "what went wrong" on their end.
I still don't trust them. I have to figure out what my next step should be if they call back with either more denials and/or more runaround.
-
Popping in to say 'Hi' Bones. Hope it gets sorted!
-
Popping in to say 'Hi' Bones. Hope it gets sorted!
Thanks, Guest.
-
Still battling Depression today. :P
-
Wouldn't it be nice, if we could just run around our brains and pick up all the little pieces of fuzzy, sticky, dustball depression.....
drop it into a black plastic bag....
and wing it into a dumpster?
-
Wouldn't it be nice, if we could just run around our brains and pick up all the little pieces of fuzzy, sticky, dustball depression.....
drop it into a black plastic bag....
and wing it into a dumpster?
Oh I wish!
-
This
too
shall
pass
and
there
will
be
spring
xo
Hops
-
This
too
shall
pass
and
there
will
be
spring
xo
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
I HATE winter!
-
I've adapted so well to the unusual minus temperatures (i.e. below freezing) here that now it's 2 degrees above, it feels warm! Almost too warm .... but that's my age :P
Big warm scarf for <<<<<<<<<<<Bones>>>>>>>>>>>>
-
I've adapted so well to the unusual minus temperatures (i.e. below freezing) here that now it's 2 degrees above, it feels warm! Almost too warm .... but that's my age :P
Big warm scarf for <<<<<<<<<<<Bones>>>>>>>>>>>>
Thanks, Guest.
It's not just the cold of Winter, it's everything else that goes along with Winter...the lack of light, the holidays, the Flu, snow, ice and mess.
-
Hi Bones,
It's not being able to sit out doors (that drives me crazy) about winter. And winter (from now) till spring ...drag's. Ugh!
Love
Deb
-
Hi Bones,
It's not being able to sit out doors (that drives me crazy) about winter. And winter (from now) till spring ...drag's. Ugh!
Love
Deb
That too. I've noticed that the colder the air gets, the more my bronchial tubes gunk up and I have to use my inhaler more.
-
Hey Bones,
Hope you can get out for a walk now while the sun is bright...
even a slow stroll in the brightest part of the day, every day--
may help you feel better.
Nature's not the enemy and sometimes you'll see a bird or a
plant and something about its shape will speak to your spirit
and remind you THIS IS CHANGING before our eyes and it will
soon be amazing us with the explosion of softness and warmth
and beauty...
Another idea--isn't there some beautiful indoor conservatory
near you? I think so. Walking indoors in nice humid air with
explosions of growing plants all around you...worth the effort.
love and hugs,
Hops
-
Hey Bones,
Hope you can get out for a walk now while the sun is bright...
even a slow stroll in the brightest part of the day, every day--
may help you feel better.
Nature's not the enemy and sometimes you'll see a bird or a
plant and something about its shape will speak to your spirit
and remind you THIS IS CHANGING before our eyes and it will
soon be amazing us with the explosion of softness and warmth
and beauty...
Another idea--isn't there some beautiful indoor conservatory
near you? I think so. Walking indoors in nice humid air with
explosions of growing plants all around you...worth the effort.
love and hugs,
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
Bones
-
Feeling deeply depressed this morning.
-
(((((((((((Bones)))))))))))
Wish you had a little SAD light.
Mine really helps me on winter mornings.
xo
Hops
-
(((((((((((Bones)))))))))))
Wish you had a little SAD light.
Mine really helps me on winter mornings.
xo
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
I wish I could afford one.
-
Just checking in.
-
Waving back atcha...
I'm going through a weird, kinda restless energy thing. Don't want to sit around doing nothing... but don't have anything jumping out at me, that I really want to do. Guess I'm sorta "stir crazy"!!
-
Waving back atcha...
I'm going through a weird, kinda restless energy thing. Don't want to sit around doing nothing... but don't have anything jumping out at me, that I really want to do. Guess I'm sorta "stir crazy"!!
I can identify with that!
Bones
-
Okay, Miz B--right now is maximum sunshine and if where you are is as mild and bright as where I am...
can you get thee to a park bench for some happy rays?
Nature's antidepressant.
xo
Hops
-
Okay, Miz B--right now is maximum sunshine and if where you are is as mild and bright as where I am...
can you get thee to a park bench for some happy rays?
Nature's antidepressant.
xo
Hops
I'm waiting for my hair to dry before I go outside. A friend will be taking me out to dinner at about 4:00 PM and another friend is picking me up for a New Year's Eve party around 8:00 PM.
Thanks, Hops!
Bones
-
My mood is still very down this morning. Staying up late then not being able to fall asleep until about 3:00 AM this morning, and waking up about three hours later didn't help much. :P
Bones
-
Hey Bones... does your mood improve as the day continues? (at least sometimes?) I'm wondering... working on a theory.
See, I generally allow myself at least 1/2 hour to "wake up" every day. That requires coffee, as fast as I can drink it and a dark room and at least one cat. Sometimes a dog too. And in this space of time, my thoughts will pick up threads of dreams and puzzle over them... I'll spend a bit of time with leaky eyes... grieving in general, it feels like a non-specific anxiety... or about some specific loss that I've experienced. I stretch a bit... try to feel whether I'm achy or sore in parts of my body. Breathe intentionally; consciously for a bit.
But one thing I'm not doing is thinking with a purpose - that left brain, problem-solving, detail-oriented crap. In fact, my thoughts jump around and may even be just fragments of ideas, or observations... and don't even connect to each other. Free-floating me coming back to conscious existence after whatever happens when I sleep. It's a cocoon-time; warm and safe in the darkness... watching for first light; alone - and happy to be so; listening for whatever is the "topic of the day" from my unconscious self; my inner chld... the Twiggy who is still there but is way more quietly satisfied and helpful than in the past.
It takes a couple more cups of coffee and a cigarette, before I can understand what hubby is saying to me and I can reply coherently. I'm so inwardly focussed on my own subjective experience of being alive - it's as if my normal reality is the dream, sometimes. I prefer to take my time transitioning from one state of consciousness to the other. But I can also snap to, when it's necessary, immediately. When MIL needed help getting to the bathroom she'd ring me at 1:30 or 5:30 am... and I'd be up in a flash and fully conscious. (But then - a ringing phone has always been a trigger for me as it figured prominently in Twiggy's story.) When I am called on to make that transition quickly, I'm conscious of feeling assaulted; of being forced to do something that's not natural to me (become conscious quickly); and I find the physical effects very unpleasant.
So.... that's the preamble explanation of what my theory is... and how it might relate to what I've been noticing in your posts. Maybe, when you sleep... your unconscious is doing a lot of your "inner work"; maybe it's grieving... working thru anger (which can be depressing)... maybe this other part of yourself is having a complete and total blast o' fun while you sleep and flat out doesn't want to wake up to "reality"... just yet. But as you transition, assume a presence in your body again, take up your usual daily consciousness... it's happening too abruptly for "comfort"... which you experience as being blue or down, emotionally. Your later in the day posts have a different "flavor" to them... as if your mood improves as you get into your day... sometimes.
Maybe? Or is this just one of my far-fetched wacko ideas? I know I've been wondering what the purpose of my cocoon time is, for me. Sometimes I think it's way more significant that how I described it above... and sometimes I think I'm just hanging on to a habit that I just happen to like... and being lazy because I can.
-
Hey Bones... does your mood improve as the day continues? (at least sometimes?) I'm wondering... working on a theory.
See, I generally allow myself at least 1/2 hour to "wake up" every day. That requires coffee, as fast as I can drink it and a dark room and at least one cat. Sometimes a dog too. And in this space of time, my thoughts will pick up threads of dreams and puzzle over them... I'll spend a bit of time with leaky eyes... grieving in general, it feels like a non-specific anxiety... or about some specific loss that I've experienced. I stretch a bit... try to feel whether I'm achy or sore in parts of my body. Breathe intentionally; consciously for a bit.
But one thing I'm not doing is thinking with a purpose - that left brain, problem-solving, detail-oriented crap. In fact, my thoughts jump around and may even be just fragments of ideas, or observations... and don't even connect to each other. Free-floating me coming back to conscious existence after whatever happens when I sleep. It's a cocoon-time; warm and safe in the darkness... watching for first light; alone - and happy to be so; listening for whatever is the "topic of the day" from my unconscious self; my inner chld... the Twiggy who is still there but is way more quietly satisfied and helpful than in the past.
It takes a couple more cups of coffee and a cigarette, before I can understand what hubby is saying to me and I can reply coherently. I'm so inwardly focussed on my own subjective experience of being alive - it's as if my normal reality is the dream, sometimes. I prefer to take my time transitioning from one state of consciousness to the other. But I can also snap to, when it's necessary, immediately. When MIL needed help getting to the bathroom she'd ring me at 1:30 or 5:30 am... and I'd be up in a flash and fully conscious. (But then - a ringing phone has always been a trigger for me as it figured prominently in Twiggy's story.) When I am called on to make that transition quickly, I'm conscious of feeling assaulted; of being forced to do something that's not natural to me (become conscious quickly); and I find the physical effects very unpleasant.
So.... that's the preamble explanation of what my theory is... and how it might relate to what I've been noticing in your posts. Maybe, when you sleep... your unconscious is doing a lot of your "inner work"; maybe it's grieving... working thru anger (which can be depressing)... maybe this other part of yourself is having a complete and total blast o' fun while you sleep and flat out doesn't want to wake up to "reality"... just yet. But as you transition, assume a presence in your body again, take up your usual daily consciousness... it's happening too abruptly for "comfort"... which you experience as being blue or down, emotionally. Your later in the day posts have a different "flavor" to them... as if your mood improves as you get into your day... sometimes.
Maybe? Or is this just one of my far-fetched wacko ideas? I know I've been wondering what the purpose of my cocoon time is, for me. Sometimes I think it's way more significant that how I described it above... and sometimes I think I'm just hanging on to a habit that I just happen to like... and being lazy because I can.
Thanks, P.R.
Your theory makes a LOT of sense...especially about the grieving part!
Bones
-
Managed to get a little more sleep last night.
-
Sleep is a good thing, Bones! I don't agree with the folks who say that sleeping a lot is a sign of depression, btw.
Sleep is such a tonic for me (probably coz I didn't get much as kid who laid awake, anxious, for the next fight to break out)...
that I am quite happy that I can indulge in as much of it as "feels right" these days. Sometimes I dream - sometimes the dreams are significant; most of the time they're not. I haven't had a nightmare in so long, that I can't remember when the last one was!
I think, while I sleep - that I experiment with rearranging my brain's connections... try out new ways to be "me" in dreams... and even allow myself to change feelings, judgements, and ways of seeing the world. And when I wake up and resume ordinary "life"... some of what I did while I was sleeping "sticks"; and helps me make some progress on things I want to do in that ordinary life - hell, it even helps me decide WHAT I WANT to do in that life!
Hubs, on the other hand, is used to only 4-5 hours of sleep a night and functions just fine on that amount - every night. Even if he does drift off into a nap if his brain doesn't have anything to focus on that holds his attention. His mom was kinda the same way; some nights she wouldn't sleep at all or would finally drift off in the wee hours and only sleep a few hours. For me, that would cause all kinds of problems - but we're all different.
How much sleep do you want to get every night, Bones? What seems to be in the way of getting that amount?
-
Sleep is a good thing, Bones! I don't agree with the folks who say that sleeping a lot is a sign of depression, btw.
Sleep is such a tonic for me (probably coz I didn't get much as kid who laid awake, anxious, for the next fight to break out)...
that I am quite happy that I can indulge in as much of it as "feels right" these days. Sometimes I dream - sometimes the dreams are significant; most of the time they're not. I haven't had a nightmare in so long, that I can't remember when the last one was!
I think, while I sleep - that I experiment with rearranging my brain's connections... try out new ways to be "me" in dreams... and even allow myself to change feelings, judgements, and ways of seeing the world. And when I wake up and resume ordinary "life"... some of what I did while I was sleeping "sticks"; and helps me make some progress on things I want to do in that ordinary life - hell, it even helps me decide WHAT I WANT to do in that life!
Hubs, on the other hand, is used to only 4-5 hours of sleep a night and functions just fine on that amount - every night. Even if he does drift off into a nap if his brain doesn't have anything to focus on that holds his attention. His mom was kinda the same way; some nights she wouldn't sleep at all or would finally drift off in the wee hours and only sleep a few hours. For me, that would cause all kinds of problems - but we're all different.
How much sleep do you want to get every night, Bones? What seems to be in the way of getting that amount?
Thanks, PR.
For me, I need between 7 to 8 hours of sleep; otherwise, my depression gets much worse.
Bones
-
Gotcha; I'd be affected the same way! Can you nap? I usually can't fall asleep during daylight, unless I'm sick.
-
Gotcha; I'd be affected the same way! Can you nap? I usually can't fall asleep during daylight, unless I'm sick.
Unfortunately, I can't really nap during the day as there is too much light and too much noise.
-
Yeah, me neither!
So I do some other things that for me are like "napping" - these things take my activity and brain down several notches and can give me energy, refresh me. One of them is computer or video games and specifically - puzzles. Puzzles seem to slow me down enough that even my muscles relax an extra scoash or two. I think it's because it uses a different part of my brain... or uses my brain differently. The other one, is simply reading. Needlepoint is another one - but I'm finding it's getting difficult to find good needlepoint kits these days. I like this better than other hand piecework for relaxing, because it's a repetitve stitch...
-
Yeah, me neither!
So I do some other things that for me are like "napping" - these things take my activity and brain down several notches and can give me energy, refresh me. One of them is computer or video games and specifically - puzzles. Puzzles seem to slow me down enough that even my muscles relax an extra scoash or two. I think it's because it uses a different part of my brain... or uses my brain differently. The other one, is simply reading. Needlepoint is another one - but I'm finding it's getting difficult to find good needlepoint kits these days. I like this better than other hand piecework for relaxing, because it's a repetitve stitch...
What I do is lay down and work on crocheting my ripple afghan. It's about half-finished now. Other times, I get on either FarmVille and/or CityVille and play there. If I'm not in the mood to do that, then I tune in to the Qubo channel and watch various cartoons.
Bones
-
Woke up at 3:30 in the morning and can't go back to sleep. :P
-
Hey, I wasn't far behind ya! (4:45)
Since I like this time - when all the partiers (and their energy) have finally passed out and the activity of normal life (and it's energy) haven't woken up yet... I just get up. It's a good time for creative projects.... reflections... meditation... and I'm trying to convince myself it's a good time for excercise, too!
:D
-
Hey, I wasn't far behind ya! (4:45)
Since I like this time - when all the partiers (and their energy) have finally passed out and the activity of normal life (and it's energy) haven't woken up yet... I just get up. It's a good time for creative projects.... reflections... meditation... and I'm trying to convince myself it's a good time for excercise, too!
:D
Lucky you!
My situation involves a digestive issue. I went out to dinner with some friends and ate something that has created a LOT of gas! Between the bloating, cramping, and noise...it was just impossible to sleep through all of that. It's either lactose intolerance again or some other food. :P
-
The bank corrected its mistake...FINALLY!!!!!
-
Why is it, that sometimes it's so difficult to get small things taken care of???
I'll bet you're glad to have that behind you now, Bones! Took 'em long enough!!
----------
I've been going through something similar with my MIL's medical bills. She had Medicare and also a secondary health insurance. All that information was included in the packet of test results and records that the local ER sent along with her to the big-city hospital. The ER nurse assured me that everything we could possibly need was included in that envelope, because of course I worried about the insurance info.
We started to receive medical bills - payable immediately, of course - indicating a balance due that Medicare didn't cover. I freaked out at first... and then remembered the second insurance. A phone call that relayed that insurance info seemed to take care of it. Well no, everyone bills separately, so there've been several more. Now I just pick up the phone... and it's not a big deal - just a detail that needs to be taken care of, you know? Twice, the medical office in question had received payment on the very same day they mailed the bill that I held in my hot little frustrated hands!! (There has to be a better way to deal with this "office work" side of this - it would save so many hours of labor and tons of impact on emotional families...)
I'm pretty anal about administrative details - crossing t's and dotting i's - so my hubs' and his brother's "whatever" attitude about getting their executor role set up and things taken care of, in short order - is starting to make me crazy. True - this estate is way simpler and extremely straightforward, compared to my Dad's and the court processes do take time; nothing to do but wait. But, I know MIL would be about as nuts as I am about details and moving ahead.
Sorry for babbling on about myself... but you're not the only one wondering how things EVER get done in business or healthcare, as inefficient, uncommunicative, and flat-out incompetent all the different people who are supposed to and have to work together - are in different places.
-
Why is it, that sometimes it's so difficult to get small things taken care of???
I'll bet you're glad to have that behind you now, Bones! Took 'em long enough!!
----------
I've been going through something similar with my MIL's medical bills. She had Medicare and also a secondary health insurance. All that information was included in the packet of test results and records that the local ER sent along with her to the big-city hospital. The ER nurse assured me that everything we could possibly need was included in that envelope, because of course I worried about the insurance info.
We started to receive medical bills - payable immediately, of course - indicating a balance due that Medicare didn't cover. I freaked out at first... and then remembered the second insurance. A phone call that relayed that insurance info seemed to take care of it. Well no, everyone bills separately, so there've been several more. Now I just pick up the phone... and it's not a big deal - just a detail that needs to be taken care of, you know? Twice, the medical office in question had received payment on the very same day they mailed the bill that I held in my hot little frustrated hands!! (There has to be a better way to deal with this "office work" side of this - it would save so many hours of labor and tons of impact on emotional families...)
I'm pretty anal about administrative details - crossing t's and dotting i's - so my hubs' and his brother's "whatever" attitude about getting their executor role set up and things taken care of, in short order - is starting to make me crazy. True - this estate is way simpler and extremely straightforward, compared to my Dad's and the court processes do take time; nothing to do but wait. But, I know MIL would be about as nuts as I am about details and moving ahead.
Sorry for babbling on about myself... but you're not the only one wondering how things EVER get done in business or healthcare, as inefficient, uncommunicative, and flat-out incompetent all the different people who are supposed to and have to work together - are in different places.
Oooohhhhhh, I know all too well about those bureaucratic headaches!
To share my own experience.....(it's long!)
Before NWomb-Donor died, she was in a nursing home that was being paid for by Medicare and Medicaid. Whenever any patient had to be transported from the nursing home to the hospital a few blocks away, the nursing home staff would contact the ambulance service they contracted with. After the ambulance service transported the patient, the ambulance service company would send the bill to the patient's Medicare/Medicaid and the bill would be paid by Medicare/Medicaid. This was how my NWomb-Donor's medical care was handled until the day she died. Then things took a WEIRD twist.
With her final illness, she was transported to the nearby hospital by the ambulance service on a Friday or a Saturday, (can't remember which day it was). She slipped into a coma on Sunday and died on Monday, (with me being the only family member at her deathbed). With her death, the hospital and doctors involved are aware that they have only a finite amount of time to submit the final medical bills for payment before Medicare/Medicaid permanently closes the file, (I'm guesstimating about three to six months). The hospital got paid for and the doctors got paid for. About a YEAR AND FEW MONTHS AFTER HER DEATH, I received a letter from a collection agency threatening to sue me over the ambulance service bill!!! (WTF?!?!?) I called the collection agency to get to the bottom of what was going on.
The collection agency person, who answered the phone, stated that since my name was included in NWomb-Donor's records, the ambulance service was going to sue me for non-payment! I explained that the only reason my name was on any of her records was to give consent for treatments, nothing more. I emphasized that I had NEVER signed ANYTHING accepting responsibility for paying any of her outstanding medical bills and explained that she had been on Medicare and Medicaid for SEVERAL DECADES. The ambulance service had been sending their bills to Medicare and Medicaid all along and I was confused about why the ambulance service had not done so at the time of her death. That made the collection agency person pause and he asked me if he could put me on hold for a few minutes and I agreed. A short while later, the collection agency person came back on the line and told me the following theory: The ambulance service had waited TOO LONG to submit the final bills to NWomb-Donor's Medicare and Medicaid. By then, her file had been closed for several months. When the ambulance service got their request for payment rejected by Medicare and Medicaid, they immediately turned it over to the collection agency claiming that I owed the bill now. (The ambulance service NEVER contacted me! Apparently, they were attempting to "cover their a$$!) The collection agency person also theorized that the ambulance service assumed that I would be too grief-stricken to catch on to their scam. I commented that the ambulance service picked the WRONG person! Between the collection agency and myself, we decided that the ambulance service would be sent a strongly-worded letter about what they attempted to do and that I was NEVER responsible for this bill! The ambulance service was basically being told to EAT THEIR MISTAKE!
At the end of that conversation, I commented to the collection agency person that if this ambulance service ever attempted to sue me, again, over their own screw-up, I would counter-sue! He stated that he would gladly be my witness in court!!!! (He was outraged about what these idiots tried to do! Sheesh!) I never heard from that ambulance service ever again!
Bones
-
Yep, that just takes the cake for epitome of "nerve", Bones!! Good for the collection agency for backing you up, too!
-
Yep, that just takes the cake for epitome of "nerve", Bones!! Good for the collection agency for backing you up, too!
Yeah! The collection agency guy just couldn't get over the nerve of these people!
Bones
-
Just checking in and doing some thinking. Those of us, who have been here for quite a while, have learned a lot about how to recognize the N's in our social circles. I was also thinking about others who are where we used to be....confused, not knowing how to name the issue, and so forth, when they KNOW something is not quite right but simply can't put their finger on it. I was wondering if this could be part of advice we could share:
"They might be an N if their behaviors demonstrate the following attitude: 'If you don't do what I want, I will f%^! you up!' and then the suspected N proceeds to do so, flipping the blame on you because you DARED to say 'NO' to their demands."
What do you think?
Bones
-
"They might be an N if their behaviors demonstrate the following attitude: 'If you don't do what I want, I will f%^! you up!' and then the suspected N proceeds to do so, flipping the blame on you because you DARED to say 'NO' to their demands."
What do you think?
Bones
That's pretty much the way I experienced it.
Lighter
-
"They might be an N if their behaviors demonstrate the following attitude: 'If you don't do what I want, I will f%^! you up!' and then the suspected N proceeds to do so, flipping the blame on you because you DARED to say 'NO' to their demands."
What do you think?
Bones
That's pretty much the way I experienced it.
Lighter
Thanks, Lighter!
And to add, when the N proceeds to "F%$k you up", it can be passive-aggressive, aggressive, mentally, physically, verbally, emotionally, psychologically, sexually, spiritually, a combination of all of the above, plus other means that I haven't thought of yet. An example of "passive-aggressive" would be for the N to hone in on something you value, such as being punctual, something you recently achieved/obtained or needing to be somewhere by a specific time, and the N deliberately TRASHES whatever that is; then the N acts the "TOTAL INNOCENT" and flips it back on you!
Bones
-
And when the N is confronted about the most recent inappropriate behaviors, one of the responses would be the glassy-eyed blank stare.
Bones
-
How else to spot an N? (The Beginner's Manual)
Bones
-
Maybe...one way is to be alert to your own deeper instinctual responses to the person.
Even when we miss visible external cues (those people are so so good at masking), if we get better ourselves, we can hear our internal boundary-alert siren. There's buried wisdom in all of us.
Or I can about half the time, which is a vast improvement.
Hops
-
Maybe...one way is to be alert to your own deeper instinctual responses to the person.
Even when we miss visible external cues (those people are so so good at masking), if we get better ourselves, we can hear our internal boundary-alert siren. There's buried wisdom in all of us.
Or I can about half the time, which is a vast improvement.
Hops
Kind of like that little feeling one gets that "something is wrong here but I can't quite put my finger on it". Does that make sense?
Bones
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Also, is it just me or do an OVERWHELMING number of N's DESPISE/LOATHE/HATE hearing and being told the word: "NO" to whatever they want/demand?
Bones
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"They might be an N if their behaviors demonstrate the following attitude: 'If you don't do what I want, I will f%^! you up!' and then the suspected N proceeds to do so, flipping the blame on you because you DARED to say 'NO' to their demands."
What do you think?
Bones
That's pretty much the way I experienced it.
Lighter
Thanks, Lighter!
And to add, when the N proceeds to "F%$k you up", it can be passive-aggressive, aggressive, mentally, physically, verbally, emotionally, psychologically, sexually, spiritually, a combination of all of the above, plus other means that I haven't thought of yet. An example of "passive-aggressive" would be for the N to hone in on something you value, such as being punctual, something you recently achieved/obtained or needing to be somewhere by a specific time, and the N deliberately TRASHES whatever that is; then the N acts the "TOTAL INNOCENT" and flips it back on you!
Bones
Today's Dear Abby seems to include some examples of N-Behaviors that we've discussed. What do you think?
Bones
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20110108
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Another observation based on a recent conversation...the person was talking about a family member who sounds like an N. This family member was complaining about how a dog was behaving. (The dog was being a normal canine.) Her comment to anyone within hearing: "This dog is DELIBERATELY making me MAD!" I couldn't help but think to myself: (WTF?!?!?)
Bones
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WoofTF?
(((((Bones))))
Dogs are such good people.
Hops
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WoofTF?
(((((Bones))))
Dogs are such good people.
Hops
Exactly!!!! These four-legged babies love UNCONDITIONALLY and only an N would blame them for a human's shortcomings!
Bones
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Also, is it just me or do an OVERWHELMING number of N's DESPISE/LOATHE/HATE hearing and being told the word: "NO" to whatever they want/demand?
Bones
Nope Bones, not just you and yes, they don't like 'no' one little bit. They don't have a real sense of humour either; their humour tends to be malicious. Or 'clever' and not funny. And everything else.
As for saying the dog is doing things deliberatly to annoy them, yeah, and their babies do the same thing, eh? No doubt the whole world organises itself just to get at them...
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Also, is it just me or do an OVERWHELMING number of N's DESPISE/LOATHE/HATE hearing and being told the word: "NO" to whatever they want/demand?
Bones
Nope Bones, not just you and yes, they don't like 'no' one little bit. They don't have a real sense of humour either; their humour tends to be malicious. Or 'clever' and not funny. And everything else.
As for saying the dog is doing things deliberatly to annoy them, yeah, and their babies do the same thing, eh? No doubt the whole world organises itself just to get at them...
Oh yeah!!
I remember NWomb-Donor once telling me how she once beat the crap out of my older (then 18-month-old toddler) brother because he fell into a bucket of wallpaper paste. Her excuse? "He should have known better!" (He was still a BABY for God's Sake!)
Bones
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Aurrrrrrrrgh Bones. ((((((18-month-old toddler brother))))))
Exactly.
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Aurrrrrrrrgh Bones. ((((((18-month-old toddler brother))))))
Exactly.
GRRRR!!! That is it exactly!!! And then there was another N, that I met several years ago, who was STILL B*TCHING about how his then 2-year-old toddler daughter DARED stamp her foot at HIM!!! (He was still complaining about it nearly FIFTY YEARS LATER!!) I looked back at him thinking "WTF?!?!?" (At the time, I didn't realize he was an N.)
Bones
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Observation:
N's treat you as if they OWN you body and soul! In their views, you are NEVER supposed to have a life outside of THEIR ORBIT!
Bones
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Bones - it's more than that:
they don't recognize that other people - ARE other people and have independent thoughts & feelings. They, themselves, are the only person in the whole universe... everyone else is just an object, like a rock... and of course, that "rock" has to stay where they put it... despite erosion, gravity, etc.
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Bones - it's more than that:
they don't recognize that other people - ARE other people and have independent thoughts & feelings. They, themselves, are the only person in the whole universe... everyone else is just an object, like a rock... and of course, that "rock" has to stay where they put it... despite erosion, gravity, etc.
In other words, N's think of themselves as THE SUPREME RULER OF THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE and what they decree is ABSOLUTE LAW! :P
Bones
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Feeling very sad this morning as my favorite bird just died of old age in her sleep. She was a good ol' girl and had a LOT of funny personality. I'm going to miss her terribly! :cry:
Bones
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Awww... I'm sorry Bones. I'm having a kinda tough morning, too. Gonna be extra nice to myself today - you too?
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Awww... I'm sorry Bones. I'm having a kinda tough morning, too. Gonna be extra nice to myself today - you too?
Thanks, P.R.
I'm trying to comfort myself with all the funny memories I have of this very funny bird!
Bones
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My home feels so empty without that funny bird's personality around. I miss her playfulness. :(
Bones
-
Chirrrrpp!
Trrriiiiiiilllll!
Squawwwk!
and
Thanks, Mom! I got new wings...I'm flyin'! And no cage....
Don't be sad, I'll be flying by to keep an eye on you.
(I think there's a friend of mine who needs a place to stay...)
xxoo
Bird
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Chirrrrpp!
Trrriiiiiiilllll!
Squawwwk!
and
Thanks, Mom! I got new wings...I'm flyin'! And no cage....
Don't be sad, I'll be flying by to keep an eye on you.
(I think there's a friend of mine who needs a place to stay...)
xxoo
Bird
((((((((((((((((((Bird))))))))))))))))))
There's a place in my heart, where you will always stay,
And my memories, where you will always play,
You're now free as a bird should be,
And your spirit will always be with me.
Bones
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:(
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Your poem brought tears to my eyes, Bones...
I am sorry you lost your sweet friend.
And though it's early to say, I do hope you will find another.
Perhaps some organization (or a vet) might know of a little pet bird
who's lost its owner.
xxoo
Hops
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Your poem brought tears to my eyes, Bones...
I am sorry you lost your sweet friend.
And though it's early to say, I do hope you will find another.
Perhaps some organization (or a vet) might know of a little pet bird
who's lost its owner.
xxoo
Hops
Thanks, Hops. It's something to consider when I feel ready.
Bones
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I'm behind this week, bones, I'm so sorry about your pet -- I'm glad I didn't die young, but reaching maturity insures so much sadness because you have to outlive so much that is dear to you. I know you will hang in there -- just like you always do!
Love, Biddy
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I'm behind this week, bones, I'm so sorry about your pet -- I'm glad I didn't die young, but reaching maturity insures so much sadness because you have to outlive so much that is dear to you. I know you will hang in there -- just like you always do!
Love, Biddy
Thanks, Biddy.
Bones
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Sorry for your loss Bones.
What a lucky bird to have had you caring for her.
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Sorry for your loss Bones.
What a lucky bird to have had you caring for her.
Thanks, KatG.
Bones
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I don't think "Dear Abby" really understands toxic, abusive parents. I think she totally missed the point that this NWombDonor had been abusive towards her own children EVER SINCE THEY WERE BORN:
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20110116
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Hi Bones! I'm up too, this morning.
Well... I think maybe Abby does understand and she also gets that there is absolutely nothing to be done about the old bag... her advice "to try a little harder... so the D doesn't have any regrets later"???? ... could've been said a bit differently. I mean, the D did "feel guilty" about not visiting the bioNic witch in the nursing home... so if she did start visiting once in a while... maybe she'd feel less guilty??? That's a normal response from someone who hasn't sruvived a parent like this, you know?
We know it's a Big Maybe - because with a mom like that, she's probably gonna feel guilty no matter WHAT she does. The first part of the description sounds a lot like how my mom is, at my brother's home. She can be violent, too... but only when some switch in her head flips - out! There's no rhyme or reason for it, in other words.
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Hi Bones! I'm up too, this morning.
Well... I think maybe Abby does understand and she also gets that there is absolutely nothing to be done about the old bag... her advice "to try a little harder... so the D doesn't have any regrets later"???? ... could've been said a bit differently. I mean, the D did "feel guilty" about not visiting the bioNic witch in the nursing home... so if she did start visiting once in a while... maybe she'd feel less guilty??? That's a normal response from someone who hasn't sruvived a parent like this, you know?
We know it's a Big Maybe - because with a mom like that, she's probably gonna feel guilty no matter WHAT she does. The first part of the description sounds a lot like how my mom is, at my brother's home. She can be violent, too... but only when some switch in her head flips - out! There's no rhyme or reason for it, in other words.
Thanks, P.R.!
And when they are Narcissistic Rage-aholics, the best thing to do is STAY AWAY....FAR AWAY!!!!!!
Bones
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Just checking in.
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Woke up at 3:30 in the morning and can't get back to sleep.
-
Sleep got disrupted again.
-
Big cuppa chamomile to you Bones,
hope you sleep peacefully all through the night.
Hops
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Big cuppa chamomile to you Bones,
hope you sleep peacefully all through the night.
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
Bones
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The Victim in Texas sounds as if he is dealing with an N:
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20110120
Only an N would behave like that!
-
I really feel for the writer of the first letter in Dear Prudence:
http://www.slate.com/id/2281735
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Sleep disrupted, again, at 3:30 in the morning. :P
-
For me it's 4:30 am, when that happens, Bones.
(Early waking is a depression symptom and you've had a pretty rough winter...)
xxoo
Hops
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For me it's 4:30 am, when that happens, Bones.
(Early waking is a depression symptom and you've had a pretty rough winter...)
xxoo
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
Unfortunately, I'm painfully aware that I'm dealing with several forms of depression simultaneously.
Bones
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Managed to sleep until 5:00 AM and still I feel tired. :P
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Muscle spasms are not helping either when they happen in the wee hours of the morning! :P
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Ow!
Do magnesium (Epsom) salts soaks help?
GS has made me a convert.
Hops
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Ow!
Do magnesium (Epsom) salts soaks help?
GS has made me a convert.
Hops
I would like to try that if I could get Mr. Idiot to hang around long enough to help me in and out of the tub. He's not inclined to do that, though.
Bones
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Woke up at 3:00 in the morning. I'm also furious at Mr. Idiot with his constant stream of "excuses". :P
-
:|
-
:|
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Hi Bones!
Spasms any better? Maybe bananas would help? They have a lot of potassium - a deficit of potassium can cause muscle aches, along with magnesium.
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Hi Bones!
Spasms any better? Maybe bananas would help? They have a lot of potassium - a deficit of potassium can cause muscle aches, along with magnesium.
Thanks, P.R.
I have been eating bananas and taking multiple vitamins as much as possible. The spasms often happen in spite of that. They are improving after a lot resting in bed with a heating pad on the affected area.
Bones
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Had a repeat of the spasms in spite of increased potassium yesterday. :P
-
oooo.... heating pads are good things! I gotta admit, sometimes I put myself to sleep with one for no physical reason whatsoever. Just the comfort I associate with it.
I guess there could be lots of things causing your spasms - poor bones! - and it might take awhile working with a doc to pinpoint exactly what the cause is. And maybe it's even one of those mind-body anxiety causes... where there's no medical explanation. For those, I've found I need to take time out just to completely "baby" me... and it helps, until I can find mental or emotional source of the problem and work through it.
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oooo.... heating pads are good things! I gotta admit, sometimes I put myself to sleep with one for no physical reason whatsoever. Just the comfort I associate with it.
I guess there could be lots of things causing your spasms - poor bones! - and it might take awhile working with a doc to pinpoint exactly what the cause is. And maybe it's even one of those mind-body anxiety causes... where there's no medical explanation. For those, I've found I need to take time out just to completely "baby" me... and it helps, until I can find mental or emotional source of the problem and work through it.
Thanks, P.R.
I have a suspicion that this could be tied in with the multiple birth defects that I have and there is no treatment for it that would be safe for me.
Bones
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Oh... crap. I didn't realize... well! Wad up that idea and make 2 pts in the trash can!
Instead, I'll dream up a masseur - let's call him Sven - who'll show up at your beck & call to rub away & sooth those nerves & muscles...
where I live, there are home-call massage services. Not that I've tried 'em yet - I still have to spend at least 6 months of persuading myself to make an appt at the spa... and I know I feel better after a massage - it's really the detox effects that feel the best... but somehow I have this awkward idea that I haven't earned this yet... like I have to suffer more before I'm "allowed" to do this.
SIGH.
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Oh... crap. I didn't realize... well! Wad up that idea and make 2 pts in the trash can!
Instead, I'll dream up a masseur - let's call him Sven - who'll show up at your beck & call to rub away & sooth those nerves & muscles...
where I live, there are home-call massage services. Not that I've tried 'em yet - I still have to spend at least 6 months of persuading myself to make an appt at the spa... and I know I feel better after a massage - it's really the detox effects that feel the best... but somehow I have this awkward idea that I haven't earned this yet... like I have to suffer more before I'm "allowed" to do this.
SIGH.
I understand, P.R.
I like the idea of having massages. I just need to win the lottery so I can afford it.
Bones
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Started working on my taxes and the tax bill, in spite of medical and other deductions, is more than I can afford to pay in a lump sum! Not sure what I can do.
-
You can set up installment payments, Bones. I think it's either monthly or quarterly time periods... with the first one sent in with your tax form. If you have TurboTax, the info on how to set this up will be in there... there's probably a form you have to include. Or just check the IRS website - it's gotten easier to navigate (not a lot... but some).
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You can set up installment payments, Bones. I think it's either monthly or quarterly time periods... with the first one sent in with your tax form. If you have TurboTax, the info on how to set this up will be in there... there's probably a form you have to include. Or just check the IRS website - it's gotten easier to navigate (not a lot... but some).
Thanks, P.R.
I hate the idea of having to choose between the tax bill or food/medications/housing.
Bones
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Woke up at 4:30 this morning feeling anxious.
-
I don't blame you, Bones!
I'm really sorry for all the uncertainty you're feeling.
Is there anyone in 3-D you can talk to about some assistance?
Hops
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I don't blame you, Bones!
I'm really sorry for all the uncertainty you're feeling.
Is there anyone in 3-D you can talk to about some assistance?
Hops
I'm not sure what 3-D assistance that I am eligible for.
Bones
-
:(
-
It'll be OK, Bones...
You can tackle the issues, if you only deal with one thing at a time - pick one thing; do what you need to do... rest or reward yourself... then pick one more thing.
At the university, we had a "community nurse" who pointed out that the quickest way to lower stress levels, was to learn realistic expectations on how much could be accomplished in one day. Instead of a long list of things... she suggested that there was really only enough time to do 5 things. (I've since learned that 3/day is more comfortable for me... and enough for me to feel I've been "productive"; each of us has our own comfort zone here, I think.) And sometimes, there's even an "order" that things need to be done in... what I call "dominos"... I can't accomplish the real goal until I accomplish about 5 other things first - they're prerequisites, you know?
It will be all right...
-
It'll be OK, Bones...
You can tackle the issues, if you only deal with one thing at a time - pick one thing; do what you need to do... rest or reward yourself... then pick one more thing.
At the university, we had a "community nurse" who pointed out that the quickest way to lower stress levels, was to learn realistic expectations on how much could be accomplished in one day. Instead of a long list of things... she suggested that there was really only enough time to do 5 things. (I've since learned that 3/day is more comfortable for me... and enough for me to feel I've been "productive"; each of us has our own comfort zone here, I think.) And sometimes, there's even an "order" that things need to be done in... what I call "dominos"... I can't accomplish the real goal until I accomplish about 5 other things first - they're prerequisites, you know?
It will be all right...
Thanks, P.R.
It's hard to break through the Depression.
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Yeah, it is...
and it's really interesting the kinds of things that really work vs all the usual advice, which doesn't. For me... doing something = having some control = feeling better... that's where my "just pick one thing and do it" comes from.
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Yeah, it is...
and it's really interesting the kinds of things that really work vs all the usual advice, which doesn't. For me... doing something = having some control = feeling better... that's where my "just pick one thing and do it" comes from.
I am trying to do that.
-
Irregular sleep not helping much.
-
Dang, I wish you could get one really good HOT water magnesium salts bath.
Shoot.
First time I did it I was amazed how it changed my sleep.
But maybe oral magnesium could help too.
xo
Hops
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Dang, I wish you could get one really good HOT water magnesium salts bath.
Shoot.
First time I did it I was amazed how it changed my sleep.
But maybe oral magnesium could help too.
xo
Hops
Trying to figure out how to do this in spite of the physical challenges. Even swallowing can be a challenge with various medications due to the way my jaw and palate were mal-formed at birth. At one point, I thought I found a solution regarding multi-vitamins when I found a drink mix I could use with bottled water. I thought, "PERFECT! This will take care of both my vitamin needs and hydration needs at the same time!" Then I couldn't find it any more! :x When I contacted the company, they informed me that they discontinued the product and suggested I cut up or crush their tablets. :P I have NO interest in that kind of hassle! :P :P :P
Bones
-
:|
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Lots of thoughts going through the brain this morning after waking up at 5:00 AM. One of them is feeling appalled about a case I watched on Judge Judy yesterday involving a pit bull attack. The defendant/owner of the pit bull had the unmitigated gall to counter-sue, claiming the plaintiffs beat his dog excessively WHILE THE DOG WAS STILL ATTACKING, BITING, AND HAD ALREADY KILLED THE PLAINTIFF'S DOG IN FRONT OF THE PLAINTIFF'S FIVE-YEAR-OLD CHILD!!!! HELLO?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Bones
-
:|
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Interesting to say the least!
http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/blog/shutdown_corner/post/Dan-Snyder-is-trying-to-get-a-newspaper-reporter?urn=nfl-315778
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Tried to communicate with the lender of my student loans. I've mentioned to them that I'm dealing with Voc. Rehab. in trying to find work but have been unsuccessful. I don't think the lender has even noticed that I'm approaching 60! Do they realize that the chances of finding full-time employment, at my age, with my disabilities and health issues, are slim and none? I have NO idea what I'm going to do about the student loans on top of the tax bill I have to pay!!!
Bones
-
:|
-
I may be paranoid and, at the same time, this does NOT sit right with me:
A bit of background, I'm also on another forum/bulletin board and this individual originally asked me to relay a message to the moderator, which I did so. (The moderator has not responded, which is her perogative.) Then I got another request to relay a message to a Newbie, who just recently joined the forum/bulletin board (and an absolute TOTAL stranger to me). I expressed my discomfort about being put "in the middle" and suggested that she communicate directly with this Newbie. (After all, she is supposed to be a grown-up even though I didn't add that comment about being a grown-up).
This is her response from my FB private message page:
(FB Acquaintance)February 3, 2011 at 11:02pm
Re: Heya!
I'm avoiding it. I don't mean to put you in the middle but (moderator) and I aren't fighting or anything so I don't see how you'd be in the middle of anything. I just can't get in touch with her. But a new member called (Newbie) needs the heads up about something. Just give that person my email, if you please.
=============================================================================
My feeling is that she is saying the following: "I don't mean to put you in the middle but...(I'm putting you in the middle anyway because I don't want to be responsible for my own communication).
My response? I deleted the e-mail conversation without responding any further. I've already expressed my discomfort about being put in the middle and it feels like she has glossed over and ignored what I said about this situation. My perspective is that she needs to put on her "Big Girl Pants" and take care of her own communications since she is obviously lurking on this other forum/bulletin board otherwise she would have never noticed that Newbie has just joined. I was willing to relay the original message to the moderator because I was under the impression that this person was having technical difficulties. Now that a complete TOTAL stranger has become part of the equation, I have NO desire to get involved between her and Newbie. I don't "have a dog in the fight" and I prefer to keep it that way!
Your thoughts?
Bones
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Well done Bones!
I might have responded one more time to say "I hear you, I'm afraid I can't/won't do that." (choose which, it doesn't really matter). But ignoring works too. I've discovered the ease of ignoring. It's like an in-tray. If it's urgent or important it will rise to the top again. If it's not, it will eventually go away/become irrelevant.
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Well done Bones!
I might have responded one more time to say "I hear you, I'm afraid I can't/won't do that." (choose which, it doesn't really matter). But ignoring works too. I've discovered the ease of ignoring. It's like an in-tray. If it's urgent or important it will rise to the top again. If it's not, it will eventually go away/become irrelevant.
Thanks, Guest!
I also feel like this person just gaslighted me, i.e. "You're not in the middle but you REALLY ARE IN THE MIDDLE between me and Newbie as well as between me and Moderator". I had enough of that growing up and I definitely DON'T need it from someone that I've never met in person. Since I've already told her that I am NOT comfortable with what she is trying to do, i.e. putting me in the middle of her mess, and she has attempted to ignore/justify/gaslight/etc., I feel like I've already said what I've needed to say to her and don't feel like repeating what I've already said to her.
Bones
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She's trying to make her stuff your responsibility Bones and that's just dumb. We're all responsible for own stuff, our actions etc and people who try and force their will on others need a reality check....not that it probably does any good; I guess she'll just look for another victim eh? People! :roll:
(I don't use the term gaslighting because I'd rather say what it is, you know? Gaslighting sounds a bit ghostly and woowoo!)
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She's trying to make her stuff your responsibility Bones and that's just dumb. We're all responsible for own stuff, our actions etc and people who try and force their will on others need a reality check....not that it probably does any good; I guess she'll just look for another victim eh? People! :roll:
(I don't use the term gaslighting because I'd rather say what it is, you know? Gaslighting sounds a bit ghostly and woowoo!)
Thanks, Guest.
What I meant by "gaslighting" was her attempt to make me doubt my perception of what she attempted to do such as denying she was putting me in the middle while actually putting me in the middle of her communications with the moderator. When she started to triangulate Newbie into the equation, I felt that enough was enough.
You're right! People! :roll:
Bones
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Bones, I like it - they have you doubting your own perception = gaslighting - I said to my H recently: when i feel confused about someone doing/saying whatever....that's the start of the warning signs. Everyone at risk needs some kind of training I reckon. Ha! I've just remembered a girl tryng to do that to me when I was about ...10 years old. Wonder where she ended up? At age 10! Sheesh.
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Bones, I like it - they have you doubting your own perception = gaslighting - I said to my H recently: when i feel confused about someone doing/saying whatever....that's the start of the warning signs. Everyone at risk needs some kind of training I reckon. Ha! I've just remembered a girl tryng to do that to me when I was about ...10 years old. Wonder where she ended up? At age 10! Sheesh.
I'm glad this Board is here to help us learn to recognize Red Flags such as gaslighting. This could be included in a "Sticky" to help other Newbie Survivors of N's to recognize that they are NOT losing their minds when an N attempts to convince them that they are NOT seeing what they are REALLY seeing!
Bones
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Bones,
I was really impressed to read that interaction.
What a great example of your growth! You did not accept being baited, you didn't take the hook, you maintained a healthy boundary, and you kept your peace with letting something go that you could not control.
You also chose not to step into a triangle, and you respected your own wisdom and intuition about what was happening.
BRAVO.
xo
Hops
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Bones,
I was really impressed to read that interaction.
What a great example of your growth! You did not accept being baited, you didn't take the hook, you maintained a healthy boundary, and you kept your peace with letting something go that you could not control.
You also chose not to step into a triangle, and you respected your own wisdom and intuition about what was happening.
BRAVO.
xo
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
I just can't understand why people do such things as what this FB Acquaintance tried to do with me.
Bones
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This may be another sign of growth for me that occurred a few hours ago.
I attended a meeting and, while I was waiting for the meeting to begin, I was working on crocheting my afghan. Another acquaintance, who I barely tolerate due to personality differences, walks over to where I'm sitting and announces: "Oh, you're making that for ME?!?!?!?" (I encountered that in high school and that kind of comment STILL annoys the heck out of me!) When I was still a teenager, I would also try to people-please, which got me nowhere. Now, as I push towards the age of 60, I have LESS tolerance for stupidity. When this acquaintance attempted to claim my afghan, I bluntly said: "NO!" This person demanded WHO I was making it for and I responded: "ME! IT'S MY AFGHAN!"
What is WRONG with people?!?!?!? :roll: Geez!
Bones
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:lol: Bones I have experienced the exact same thing (though not with crocheting). What is it, that they want your attention on them and not on what you're doing? Envy probably too. People-junk! I like your response. :D
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:lol: Bones I have experienced the exact same thing (though not with crocheting). What is it, that they want your attention on them and not on what you're doing? Envy probably too. People-junk! I like your response. :D
Thanks, Guest.
What also gets me very irritated is that no matter what I am working on, there always seem to be at least one moron who approaches me with the demand of: "I WANT!!! GIMME!!!!" I'm at the point in my life where I prefer to look them in the eye and respond: "F____ OFF!"
Bones
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:lol: haha!
My H says he learned how to tell people to FO at work just by looking at them. I tried to learn it too but some women won't take FO for an answer. They'd go so far that I would have to be direct and confrontational. There's definitely a difference in the way (crazy) women and men do this type of junk isn't there?
The "I WANT!!! GIMME!!!!" is probably okay behaviour for toddlers though. :P
I woke up today realising that I know/knew three people who pass the 'hoarder' disorder test (read an article on it last night) (and it only affects c.2% of the population?). Funny how things gel overnight! Now I should attack my pile of papers... :D
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:lol: haha!
My H says he learned how to tell people to FO at work just by looking at them. I tried to learn it too but some women won't take FO for an answer. They'd go so far that I would have to be direct and confrontational. There's definitely a difference in the way (crazy) women and men do this type of junk isn't there?
The "I WANT!!! GIMME!!!!" is probably okay behaviour for toddlers though. :P
I woke up today realising that I know/knew three people who pass the 'hoarder' disorder test (read an article on it last night) (and it only affects c.2% of the population?). Funny how things gel overnight! Now I should attack my pile of papers... :D
LOL!!! :lol:
Sometimes I wonder if the morons screaming "I WANT!!!! GIMME!!!" are probably toddlers in their own minds!!!! I often get tempted to ask: "What are you?!?!?! SIX?!?!?!?!?"
BTW, I'm still attacking my piles of papers.
Bones
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Took some time out yesterday to go watch the movie: "The King's Speech". That one piece of dialogue, "I HAVE A VOICE!" that the King yelled really resonated with me! EXCELLENT movie!!!!!!!!!
Bones
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I so loved this movie, too --
and what a perfect line it was.
So glad you got out to see it!
xo
Hops
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I so loved this movie, too --
and what a perfect line it was.
So glad you got out to see it!
xo
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
I also found it quite interesting that Edward VIII and Wallis Warfield Simpson were being portrayed as two self-centered, self-absorbed N's.
Bones
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QUOTE from different thread by Bones:
"LOL!!!
I would say that NWomb-Donor sounds ANAL-RETENTIVE. She can't let go of her own $h*t and focuses on her dog's instead.
Bones"
Bones, that is sort of interesting that you say that term Anal-retentive. I never really believed in Freud, but I am starting to wonder if there is something to it?
I haven't studied child development or psychology so much as a whole.
Is Anal-retentiveness a real thing? Do children go through a stage where they are focused on their bowel movements....and if so...I wonder if my mother is stuck in that stage?.......Geeze who knows.
I'm reading the wikipedia definition of anal retentiveness and I see that there is also "Anal-expulsiveness" So now I'm laughing again.
Freud is funny at least.
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QUOTE from different thread by Bones:
"LOL!!!
I would say that NWomb-Donor sounds ANAL-RETENTIVE. She can't let go of her own $h*t and focuses on her dog's instead.
Bones"
Bones, that is sort of interesting that you say that term Anal-retentive. I never really believed in Freud, but I am starting to wonder if there is something to it?
I haven't studied child development or psychology so much as a whole.
Is Anal-retentiveness a real thing? Do children go through a stage where they are focused on their bowel movements....and if so...I wonder if my mother is stuck in that stage?.......Geeze who knows.
I'm reading the wikipedia definition of anal retentiveness and I see that there is also "Anal-expulsiveness" So now I'm laughing again.
Freud is funny at least.
:D
Freud was an interesting dude, to say the least. I've known quite a few people who I would consider anal-retentive. Children do go through stages of development and usually grow out of them. And then there are those who not only stay stuck, they try to force others to stay stuck with them! One person I encountered, decades ago, attempted to put laxatives in my food!!!! I simply took them out and informed her that my plumbing was just fine, thank you very much! However, I drew the line when she and her daughter attempted to give my newborn (not quite one-day-old) godson, (their grandson/great-grandson), laxatives because THEY believed he wasn't going to the bathroom enough!!! That's when I told both of them that if they EVER touched that baby with ANY laxatives, I would knock them both through a brick wall!!! I was LIVID!!!!
Bones
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Been up since 4:30 AM. Too early for me.
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This makes me laugh:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3OwOi11sNdk&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=playnmJB_TI&feature=relmfu
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRrrXLiajNs&feature=related
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Thanks, Muffin Buster.
Have you found any of the Muppet Bloopers? They are HYSTERICAL!!!!
Bones
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While coming home from a meeting last night, I experienced a PTSD trigger with flashback while passing a car repair place I used to patronize decades ago. It was about needing some work done on my first car and struggling to find the money for it. I made the mistake of asking her Royal Queen @#$!-ness for help and got called every vile name she could invent for even DARING to ask for something I needed, regardless of what it was! (Sound familiar?) Then shortly after that incident, her Royal @#$!-ness called me, talking SYRUPY, TREACLY, SWEET :P wanting me to drive her and her (equally N) sister about 100 miles away to visit someone that I never knew, (my aunt-by-marriage) because SHE, (the NQueen $#@!), was SO CONCERNED for this relative's welfare. [FYI: This stranger and my uncle were divorced while I was still an infant so I have no memories of ever meeting nor interacting with her. From that point onward, her Royal @#$!-ness would NEVER mention this aunt's name without cursing and spitting! As far as the NWomb-Donor was concerned, my aunt-by-marriage was no better than a pile of dog $h*t!] Fast forward about two and a half decades...the uncle, NWomb-Donor's brother, had died shortly before this sickeningly sweet phone call, (he had shot himself). With his death, NWomb-Donor no longer had a source to obtain "fresh $h*t" to smear my aunt-by-marriage with. (Do you see where she was trying to go? I did! She simply wanted to USE me as a convenient tool to get at this relative who had moved on WITHOUT NWomb-Donor's permission!) By this time, gas prices were skyrocketing out of control and I did NOT have a good paying job!
When I suggested that we split the costs three ways, NWomb-Donor attempted to con me with: "BUT........you're FAMILY!" (I'm thinking silently: "How CONVENIENT for YOU, you F*CKING BITCH!" Instead of saying that, I voiced: "Have you seen the prices at the gas pumps lately?!? I can't afford to pay the total expense, out of my pocket, making a 200-mile round trip, to go visit someone THAT I DON'T EVEN KNOW!!!" She abruptly ended the phone call, stating she needed to call her sister, (the other N). Five minutes after that, I get ANOTHER phone from her Royal Queen $#@!-ness calling me the usual vile names because I DARED ask to split the cost of this 200-mile round trip! :P Was I surprised? NOT!!!! I was so grateful that I was living in my own apartment by this point, out of her reach, so she couldn't attempt to beat me into submission like a slave again! Unfortunately, it did not stop her poisonous smearing mouth as she substituted me for the aunt-by-marriage and ramped up her slander and vitriolic verbal abuse because I DARED TO DEFY HER ROYAL $#@!-ness! :evil:
Bones
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And ain't it a relief, that it's all in the past - and not happening now - anymore?
Pity those of us who have to - or are trying to - maintain some kind of "civil relationship" with those people, in the interest of business or our own mental health (sounds like, but isn't an oxymoron).
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And ain't it a relief, that it's all in the past - and not happening now - anymore?
Pity those of us who have to - or are trying to - maintain some kind of "civil relationship" with those people, in the interest of business or our own mental health (sounds like, but isn't an oxymoron).
PTSD can be quite complicated to deal with when I never know what is going to trigger a flashback. It's NOT fun!
Out of curiosity, I did a Google map of how far it REALLY is between where we lived at the time and where this aunt-by-marriage lived back then. According to Google Map, the distance was over 200 miles ONE WAY and it would have been at least a FOUR AND A HALF HOUR ROAD TRIP which would have meant over a FOUR HUNDRED MILE ROUND TRIP WITH TWO N's with me for OVER NINE HOURS, including the visit with the aunt-by-marriage!!! MY GOD WHAT A NIGHTMARE THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN!!!! :shock:
I dodged a bullet!!!!
Bones
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Yeah, Bones...
I know about those flashbacks. You're right - not fun. I don't know what I did - or what changed - but they are so much less frequent for me now, that I could "almost" say... I don't have them anymore. Mine seem to still exist on the emotional wavelength... I'll get "that feeling" again, you know? Then, I go crazy trying to figure out why the present situation reminds of the past...
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Yeah, Bones...
I know about those flashbacks. You're right - not fun. I don't know what I did - or what changed - but they are so much less frequent for me now, that I could "almost" say... I don't have them anymore. Mine seem to still exist on the emotional wavelength... I'll get "that feeling" again, you know? Then, I go crazy trying to figure out why the present situation reminds of the past...
Yeah, P.R.
I think being able to talk about PTSD flashbacks here helps to lessen the frequency of them. It's good to know we are not alone!
Bones
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Just checking in this morning.
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Hiya! As you can tell, I'm having a lazy morning so far...
time to walk away.... from the computer.... or I'll have another one of those "didn't get anything accomplished" days.
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Hiya! As you can tell, I'm having a lazy morning so far...
time to walk away.... from the computer.... or I'll have another one of those "didn't get anything accomplished" days.
I hear ya.
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Good for you for not going, Bones.
Great decision.
I know what it feels like to be smeared. It's painful.
But over time, I'm finding I don't feel hurt by it. I see the one doing it as really, seriously sick. Someone to avoid and have no contact with, and ultimately, just someone to pity.
Life cannot be good if the only thing driving one is to tear down someone else.
Glad you're out of her clutches forever, Bones.
Hops
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Good for you for not going, Bones.
Great decision.
I know what it feels like to be smeared. It's painful.
But over time, I'm finding I don't feel hurt by it. I see the one doing it as really, seriously sick. Someone to avoid and have no contact with, and ultimately, just someone to pity.
Life cannot be good if the only thing driving one is to tear down someone else.
Glad you're out of her clutches forever, Bones.
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
I'm coming to grips with the fact that she really HATED me!
Bones
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Bones, I think it's interesting that the PTSD is reduced in frequency by using this website as a place to talk about it. That's good to hear.
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Bones, I think it's interesting that the PTSD is reduced in frequency by using this website as a place to talk about it. That's good to hear.
Thanks, M.B.
Bones
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Feeling VERY crabby this morning about ALOT of things! :x
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I'm just crabby 'coz I woke up at 3:30 and couldn't go back to sleep...
time for LUNCH, huh?
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I'm just crabby 'coz I woke up at 3:30 and couldn't go back to sleep...
time for LUNCH, huh?
For sure! And it's not even noon yet!
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I have a lot of difficulty understanding why some people act as if I am invisible. I got snappish the other day when it happened again.
I had gone out to a dinner/meeting with some friends and, in spite of having an agenda, the meeting part dragged on longer than it should have because the president of our group tends to go off on tangents and yak. As a result, the evening got later and later and I started feeling more and more tired. In addition, the person, who had given me a ride, was also feeling even more tired because she was not feeling well. When the waitress came in to see if we needed anything, I started to ask her for dessert and my check so that my ride and I could leave when we wanted to. Before half of my sentence was out of my mouth, another member of our group talked over me and sent the waitress away! I turned around to this other individual and snapped: "I don't appreciate you speaking FOR me and making my decisions FOR me!" :x
Bones
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ooooo.... I hear ya!
But, the "others" can't read your mind you know. So, in those situations, I've decided that it's way OK for me to take care of myself - decide when I'm ready to take off... etc. I'm not a night-owl anymore and pay dearly for trying to be - headaches, ocular migraines, aches & pains - oh yeah, and crabbiness... so I let people have their little laugh about the "old lady" because I know someday, they'll know... too. It's kind of a compromise - yeah, I'd love to go out at night, but I turn into a pumpkin around 7:30 - 8pm. There's a class I'd love to take - it's over a few weeks - but the class time is 7 - 10 pm. My brain would be jello for most of the class and it wouldn't be worth it!!
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ooooo.... I hear ya!
But, the "others" can't read your mind you know. So, in those situations, I've decided that it's way OK for me to take care of myself - decide when I'm ready to take off... etc. I'm not a night-owl anymore and pay dearly for trying to be - headaches, ocular migraines, aches & pains - oh yeah, and crabbiness... so I let people have their little laugh about the "old lady" because I know someday, they'll know... too. It's kind of a compromise - yeah, I'd love to go out at night, but I turn into a pumpkin around 7:30 - 8pm. There's a class I'd love to take - it's over a few weeks - but the class time is 7 - 10 pm. My brain would be jello for most of the class and it wouldn't be worth it!!
Thanks, P.R.
The thing that made me SO MAD was that I WAS ALREADY TALKING about what I needed, from the waitress, when this other individual injected herself into the middle of my conversation with the waitress and told her that the waitress didn't need to do anything yet and the waitress listened to her instead of HEARING what I was already vocalizing!
Bones
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I read the following in "Dear Prudence" today. Bride-zilla sounds like an N!!! What do you think?
"Dear Prudence,
My wife and I have recently learned that we are going to have our first child. The pregnancy was unexpected. Nonetheless, this is wonderful news, except for one thing: The due date falls on the same day as my sister's wedding, which will be held eight hours from where we live. My sister loves being the center of attention, and we worry that she will think we are trying to steal the spotlight on her special day. We are almost certain that she will throw a fit when we tell her that we cannot attend her wedding, because she has a history of throwing temper tantrums over perceived slights. We feel terrible about the situation, but there's nothing we can do about it. Any tips on how to break the news so I'm not writing to you again in a year about my estrangement from my sister?
—Unexpectedly Expecting
Dear Unexpectedly,
If you have a sister who would have a hissy fit over the fact that the arrival of a niece or nephew is stealing the spotlight from "her day," I'm curious as to how she convinced some poor sap to marry her. First of all, stop feeling "terrible" that you're about to become parents. You didn't owe your sister a vow of abstinence during her "wedding season." And if you and your wife were to show up at the wedding, just think how your sister would react if your wife's water broke and made your sister slide down the aisle. The good news is your wife is pregnant; there's no bad news. Yes, it's unfortunate you will miss the wedding, but a simultaneous marriage and birth just means your family is in for an abundance of good fortune. There's nothing to say to your sister except that while you're so excited to become parents, you're sorry it means your wife will be in labor during the ceremony. But when your sister gets back from the honeymoon, you'll be able to introduce her to her niece or nephew. If you sister says one tantrumlike thing in response, then you say, "Sue, I'm going to pretend you never said that, and I'm going to hang up so you don't say anything else I'll regret hearing."
—Prudie"
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Not sleeping much tonight. Woke up at 11:00 PM and then again at 3:00 AM. :P
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Spotted this in today's Annie's Mailbox:
Dear Annie: I am having a problem with my mother-in-law. My husband is so upset that he doesn't plan to speak to her again.
My mother-in-law is a smoker. So are my husband, mother and father-in-law. We have asked everyone to smoke outside because I have young children and one has upper-respiratory issues. We have a screened-in porch with comfortable furniture where people are welcome to enjoy themselves. No one has a problem with this except my mother-in-law. She refuses to smoke outside. In addition, she refuses to visit unless she can smoke wherever she wants.
Mom doesn't believe smoking causes health issues, so we no longer allow our daughter to visit Mom at her home. In the past, our daughter has come home with inflamed bronchial tubes, requiring a nebulizer to breathe.
Mom has turned this into a major feud, saying we are disrespectful to her. In her attempts to force us to allow her to smoke in the house, she has said some pretty nasty things to my husband. My husband is a wonderful son and has always been there for his mother whenever she needed anything. Now he is "dead" to her.
Mom has told the entire family that we cut off access to the grandchildren "for no reason." She sent my parents a lengthy e-mail to "let them know what we were doing to her." She phoned our 10-year-old daughter and said Mommy and Daddy won't let her visit. She told her to work on convincing us to let her smoke inside.
We have never said a bad word to this woman. We always speak to her calmly, but we are not going to give in about the smoking. We've begged her to visit more often so our daughter can see her, but she refuses to abide by the rules. What can we do? — Texas
Dear Texas: Nothing. You have made your home welcoming to smokers and non-smokers alike. Your mother-in-law is being a selfish pain in the behind and values her convenience over her family.
This is HER choice. Continue to be calm, but do not give in. Shame on her.
==========================================================================
Boy, does that attitude and behavior from the MIL-from-hell sound familiar!
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Yeah it does Bones...
... it's interesting that I'm really focussed on Annie's reply, though.
Your mother-in-law is being a selfish pain in the behind and values her convenience over her family.
This is HER choice. Continue to be calm, but do not give in. Shame on her.
That is soooo simple for her to say, isn't it? And I'm sure that if she were in Texas' shoes, it would still be that simple for her. I am fascinated with how it can be this simple for some people to dismiss the pain in the butts of this world so easily... when myself and so many others have been put through so much agony, instead. I want whatever it is that makes this so simple for Annie, you know?
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Yeah it does Bones...
... it's interesting that I'm really focussed on Annie's reply, though.
Your mother-in-law is being a selfish pain in the behind and values her convenience over her family.
This is HER choice. Continue to be calm, but do not give in. Shame on her.
That is soooo simple for her to say, isn't it? And I'm sure that if she were in Texas' shoes, it would still be that simple for her. I am fascinated with how it can be this simple for some people to dismiss the pain in the butts of this world so easily... when myself and so many others have been put through so much agony, instead. I want whatever it is that makes this so simple for Annie, you know?
I agree! I don't think the advice columnists have any clue what it means to deal with an N!
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Bones,
Doing whatever it takes to push ourselves to the forefront, with no regard or love for the other person would qualify as a boundary breaker everytime!
tt
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Bones,
Doing whatever it takes to push ourselves to the forefront, with no regard or love for the other person would qualify as a boundary breaker everytime!
tt
Oh yeah!!!
And when it comes to child endangerment, especially if the child has severe asthma, I would be a Momma Tigress protecting my cub no matter what!
Bones
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:|
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This letter appeared in "Dear Abby" today. It sounds and feels painfully familiar!
"MOM'S PARANOIA DAMAGES HER DAUGHTER'S SELF-ESTEEM
DEAR ABBY: My stepmother -- the only mother I have ever known -- has been clinically diagnosed with a paranoid personality. This means she is suspicious, a martyr in any situation and flatly denies anything she thinks would cast her in a negative light. She can be very convincing. Once or twice she has even convinced me that my memories were wrong, although the facts were later corroborated by other family members.
People who can't see through her "act" consider my mother to be a saint. Those who see her clearly know that she's spiteful and vindictive. She has, for years, refused to take her prescribed medicine and won't explore any other treatment. She insists the problem is with everyone else, especially me.
You have told others about the need to cut toxic friends and relatives out of their lives, but how does one do it? I know there will never be closure or a good relationship, but I can't help wanting one. I'm in my mid-30s and feel if my mother doesn't love me, how can anyone else? -- NEEDS A RESOLUTION IN GEORGIA
DEAR NEEDS A RESOLUTION: You have more than one problem. Removing toxic individuals from one's life is as easy as refusing to go along with their behavior. Once you draw the line, those people will "help" you by cutting you out of theirs. Your mother's mental illness may prevent her from loving anyone -- not you specifically.
I hope you realize how important it is to discuss your feelings with a licensed psychotherapist. You have an entire upbringing by a woman with a damaged personality to overcome. The fact that she couldn't love you does not mean you are unlovable. And the sooner you are able to accept that, the more lovable you will be because you will like yourself more."
What do you think?
Bones
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I think it's a good answer Bones, and i do like "those people will "help" you by cutting you out of theirs" (that actually is a help, tho takes a while to get it).
Whether the daughter will hear the advice, I don't know. Therapy is the way I think.
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I think it's a good answer Bones, and i do like "those people will "help" you by cutting you out of theirs" (that actually is a help, tho takes a while to get it).
Whether the daughter will hear the advice, I don't know. Therapy is the way I think.
I agree! The question and challenge is to find the right therapist who "gets it" with situations like this!
Bones
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I imagine that isn't the easiest of tasks Bones. I'm thankful (understatement) that I didn't have to do that.
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I imagine that isn't the easiest of tasks Bones. I'm thankful (understatement) that I didn't have to do that.
You're lucky!
Bones
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Chance had everything to do with it Bones! :D
(I had no idea how lucky it was. So lucky I'd weep if I thought about it enough. After the chance it was mainly insanity and persistence, a great combination.)
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Chance had everything to do with it Bones! :D
(I had no idea how lucky it was. So lucky I'd weep if I thought about it enough. After the chance it was mainly insanity and persistence, a great combination.)
I presume the insanity was on the part of the N?
Bones
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Not what I was thinking about Bones. But I have known qute a few crazy people.
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Not what I was thinking about Bones. But I have known qute a few crazy people.
:)
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:mrgreen:
(we all need a mister green from time to time, eh? :D)
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:mrgreen:
(we all need a mister green from time to time, eh? :D)
True that!
I've been working on my genealogy off and on today and just found out a little while ago that my parents were distant cousins to each other and NEVER knew it!!!!! My jaw was on the floor as I was reading this new information! The link goes way back to the 1700's in Maryland.
Bones
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:|
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Just checking in.
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Feeling a bit annoyed at the moment.
I had to go to the dentist this morning to follow up on the extraction that was done about six months ago and discuss the next stage of treatment. While I was waiting, I was working on my sock loom to keep me occupied and not freak out too much. (Hanging out in a dentist office is NOT my idea of fun!) One of the dentist's staff saw me working on the sock and wanted me to give it to her when I was done. I thought she was just joking and I laughed it off and kept working. When I was scheduling my next appointment, this staff person repeated her demand and that's when I knew she was NOT joking! :x I responded that I needed to calculate the cost of the yarn plus the labor to determine how much I would need to charge her for my work. THAT shut her up!!!
Bones
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:|
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Pretty literal, eh Bones?
People sometimes don't realize how others will receive something.
Granted she was presumptuous...maybe there was a compliment and admiration buried in that exchange too?
xo
Hops
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Pretty literal, eh Bones?
People sometimes don't realize how others will receive something.
Granted she was presumptuous...maybe there was a compliment and admiration buried in that exchange too?
xo
Hops
It may have been meant as a compliment but demands like that get tiresome, especially after several different people make the same kind of demand over a period of 40 years! :P
Bones
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I know it may be my Asperger's getting in the way and, at the same time, when I've heard the same old "joke" repeated several times over a period of 40 to 60 years, it does get tiresome...especially when the "joke teller" thinks I've NEVER heard the joke before and that THEY are the FIRST to tell me this "joke". :P
Bones
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:|
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Oh yeah, Bones...
like at my age, I've never heard the "amber waves of grain" joke...
I'm afraid I have perfected a sort of "withering" cold stare that lets them know I don't see the humor in this kind of thing.
Maybe we're allowed some days like this - days when we just don't see the humor in the trite... and that's OK. As long as, once in a while at least, we do see some humor in these kinds of things... it's just people trying to connect with us - one on one - I think.
My sense of humor is my canary in the coal mine - when nothing makes me laugh, or people start apologizing for trying to make me laugh... that's when I know I have "go deal" - get it over with - and let it go.
I haven't laughed for a week.... really just found something funny, you know?
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Oh yeah, Bones...
like at my age, I've never heard the "amber waves of grain" joke...
I'm afraid I have perfected a sort of "withering" cold stare that lets them know I don't see the humor in this kind of thing.
Maybe we're allowed some days like this - days when we just don't see the humor in the trite... and that's OK. As long as, once in a while at least, we do see some humor in these kinds of things... it's just people trying to connect with us - one on one - I think.
My sense of humor is my canary in the coal mine - when nothing makes me laugh, or people start apologizing for trying to make me laugh... that's when I know I have "go deal" - get it over with - and let it go.
I haven't laughed for a week.... really just found something funny, you know?
I get it. For me, it depends on the situation. If it's related to Star Trek, I can geek out and talk all day about that. But when a total stranger gets up in my grill, either making fun of my name based on a historical event, or religion, or a TV show that was on over 60 years ago, or make an outrageously sexist comment, or DEMANDS that I hand over my work for free, at my age, I no longer have the patience to tolerate that anymore. I will give them the withering, cold stare at first. If that doesn't work, then I will make an assertive statement. If they are so DENSE that the statement goes right over their head and they keep on trucking, then I will usually hand their head to them. I'm probably considered a curmudgeon by now. I just don't suffer fools anymore.
Bones
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:|
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Letter Number Two sounds VERY familiar!
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/drop-quot-sweet-as-pie-quot-like-a-hot-potato.html
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Woke up from a very strange dream!
I dreamt that I had adopted a baby with multiple disabilities, including autism, and I had become separated from her and she was in danger. I kept trying to get to her while others around me kept blocking my path...telling me to forget about her and get rid of her because she was a worthless pile of $**t! I got so upset that I woke up!
Bones
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wow, Bones.
I like two dream theories professors told me, they both feel true:
One said, "You dream about your hopes and fears. There is no such thing as a 'bad' dream, because even a disturbing one is your subconscious releasing stuff it needed to process. So, in that sense, 'bad dreams' are healing, too."
The other said, "You are everything and every person in your dream. What part of you is the _____?"
You KNOW that baby is not worthless.
You love her, want to protect her, and you care about her.
(You.)
xo
Hops
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wow, Bones.
I like two dream theories professors told me, they both feel true:
One said, "You dream about your hopes and fears. There is no such thing as a 'bad' dream, because even a disturbing one is your subconscious releasing stuff it needed to process. So, in that sense, 'bad dreams' are healing, too."
The other said, "You are everything and every person in your dream. What part of you is the _____?"
You KNOW that baby is not worthless.
You love her, want to protect her, and you care about her.
(You.)
xo
Hops
Thanks, Hops! Both theories make a LOT of sense!
Bones
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Sweet dreams, (((((Bones)))))...
nighty night,
Hops
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Sweet dreams, (((((Bones)))))...
nighty night,
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
Bones
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Had a bit of a sleepless night last night thinking about ALOT of things.
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Just checking in for the day.
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I'm going to be heading out, early tomorrow morning, and won't be back home until late in the afternoon or early evening. My CERT team has been activated to deal with an emergency. I'll explain more after I'm rested from the mission.
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Just got home a little while ago after being out for 14 hours on a search and recovery mission. I'll explain more tomorrow.
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Feeling a bit more rested from yesterday even though I have achy muscles.
I may have previously mentioned that I'm a member of the Community Emergency Response Team where I live. Yesterday, my Team got called out and mobilized by our state's search and rescue team to search for a missing person. It turned out that the missing person case is a "cold case" as he had disappeared back in 2006 in an area that is VERY ROUGH WILDERNESS, (including wildlife such as foxes, deer, snakes, possibly bears). What we did not know, until we met with the state's search-and-rescue team and the state police, that there was also an unregistered handgun involved. Essentially, we were searching for human remains and a handgun, (possibly still loaded), with the safety off so critical safety measures were the order of the day.
This was my first REAL search for a missing person as, up to now, everything else had been drills. I also learned how to use a metal detector for the first time. (The metal detectors were borrowed from the forensic division of the police department.) I was hoping we would be able to find this person and give his family closure as well as finding the unregistered handgun but we came up empty-handed. At the same time, I felt it was an excellent learning experience and helped give us volunteers more insight into what the police and professional search-and-rescue teams do and how much physical labor is involved. It is NOWHERE near close to what is portrayed on television!
Bones
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WOW Bones....
WOW.
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WOW Bones....
WOW.
Thanks, P.R.!
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So proud to know you, Bones.
Thank you for what you do for your community.
love,
Hops
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So proud to know you, Bones.
Thank you for what you do for your community.
love,
Hops
You're welcome and thanks, Hops.
Bones
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Another victim of an N who may be searching for people like us:
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/sure-as-the-donald-i-breathe.html
Since the membership list is currently closed, where else can she go for the support she needs?
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Just checking in.
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got spring up there Bones?
I have daffodils and robins now...
I love seeing them but it also makes me cry because I am going to miss this window, this bit of yard, this familiar setting for spring.
But I'm reminding myself it's spring everywhere.
Hops
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got spring up there Bones?
I have daffodils and robins now...
I love seeing them but it also makes me cry because I am going to miss this window, this bit of yard, this familiar setting for spring.
But I'm reminding myself it's spring everywhere.
Hops
Morning, Hops.
Sounds like you are homesick already.
It's still cold where I'm at. I haven't been outside much as I'm still dealing with aches and pain after hiking through dense woods this past Saturday carrying a metal detector.
Bones
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You got it, exactly.
I am homesick already...grieving before I have to go.
Hope you warm up soon.
love,
Hops
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You got it, exactly.
I am homesick already...grieving before I have to go.
Hope you warm up soon.
love,
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
I'm sorry you have to move. Moving from one home to another is a pain in more ways than one.
Bones
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Woke up to Super-Soaker Weather this morning and the TV news is talking about flood watches and warnings around the area. :P
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I just turned the TV on to Dr. Phil and he is attempting to get through to a Narcissistic Mother!!! OMG!!!!! :shock:
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Who won, Bones? Did Dr. Phil admit defeat and insist she have intense one on one counselling?
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Who won, Bones? Did Dr. Phil admit defeat and insist she have intense one on one counselling?
Dr. Phil got confrontative with the NMother. At one point, when the NMother started flipping the blame back onto the daughters and attempted to justify what she did to them, Dr. Phil actually stood up and placed himself between the NMother and her daughters, blocking her view and forced the NMother to speak only to him while he bluntly told her the obvious. Her reaction was exactly what I expected...the glassy-eyed blank stare!
I think Dr. Phil won that round when he stopped her from continuing her verbal attack on her daughters.
Bones
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This was in this morning's "Dear Abby" and it is both sad and painful:
"ATTENTION PAID TO DYING BOY EMBITTERS HIS JEALOUS AUNT
DEAR ABBY: My 3-year-old son is terminally ill. My sister-in-law, "Anita," has a son who is a year old. Anita always wants to compete for attention between the two boys. She makes nasty comments to family members, suggesting that her son is ignored while mine gets all the attention. No one says anything to her because they're afraid of her "blowups."
I don't know how much longer I can live with this. It is hard enough watching my son slip away a little more each day, but having to deal with this has pushed me over the edge. How can I handle a crazy in-law in this situation? -- FALLING APART IN ILLINOIS
DEAR FALLING APART: Please accept my sympathy for the heartache you are experiencing. It's a shame that no one in the family is willing to point out to your volatile sister-in-law that the "annoyance" she's feeling is selfish and insensitive.
However, because no one is, it might be better that Anita be excluded from family gatherings in which she might feel her son is getting short shrift. And you should ask the person who is repeating her complaints to you to please stop sharing them. That should solve your problem."
===============================================================================
I wish I could give that poor mother a huge hug right now.
Bones
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At times, it appears that Instant Karma does manage to bite some N's in the butt.
Last night, I attended a debriefing session regarding last Saturday's search and recovery mission. During the debriefing, the SaR professional was describing how he had been written up and disciplined, by one of his former employers, because he had to take time off from the job to search for a missing individual in a life-threatening situation. The NBoss' attitude was basically: "F**k them, ME FIRST!" As fate would have it, this NBoss' own father, who is/was an Alzheimer's patient, went missing! Guess who had to take off work, again, to go on the search for the NBoss' father before the elderly man succumbed to hypothermia? If you guessed the SaR professional, you guessed right! I bet that NBoss had to really eat crow on that one!
Don't you just LOVE poetic justice?!?!?!?
Bones
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Oh my.
That was a wonderful tale.
I am really glad it's a story being shared.
Thanks, Bones....
Hops
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Oh my.
That was a wonderful tale.
I am really glad it's a story being shared.
Thanks, Bones....
Hops
You're welcome, Hops!
Glad you enjoyed it!
I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall when that NBoss had to look the SaR Professional in the eye about the search for his own father.
Bones
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Just checking in this morning...
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Just checking in today.
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Just wondering what your thoughts are on these letters:
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/u-r-a-jrk.html
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Hi Bones
Letter 1, agree with response.
Letter 2, agree with response but: "I hate her plans." - hate is a rather strong word to use isn't it? It sounds to me as though she's lucky to be invited to her daughter's wedding. She wants to back out of paying because she's not getting what she wants? Give me a break!
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Hi Bones
Letter 1, agree with response.
Letter 2, agree with response but: "I hate her plans." - hate is a rather strong word to use isn't it? It sounds to me as though she's lucky to be invited to her daughter's wedding. She wants to back out of paying because she's not getting what she wants? Give me a break!
Thanks, Guest.
I also agree with the response to letter 1. I LOVE the idea of sending that cheating jerk a text message telling him "It's Over"! Poetic justice!
With letter 2, I get the feeling that this mother is an N who wants to dictate every minutiae of her daughter's life and is pissed off because her daughter DARES to be an individual with her own wants and needs.
Bones
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Pretty much Bones. I also think she wants the wedding at her church etc so that she gets to be a centre of attention. I guess her daughter is wise to this! :D
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Pretty much Bones. I also think she wants the wedding at her church etc so that she gets to be a centre of attention. I guess her daughter is wise to this! :D
That's the feeling I'm getting! :D
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This letter appeared in "Dear Abby" this morning. I really identify with this poor daughter-in-law! I also feel sorry for her husband because he has such a mother!!!
"DEAR ABBY: I'm one of those daughters-in-law who are "unkind" and "ignore" their mothers-in-law. I'm
shocked you didn't ask that mother-in-law who wrote you about her daughter-in-law (Feb. 6) why it was happening.
In my case it's because she belittles me, is rude and finds fault with everything I do. An actual complaint she made was that I didn't make enough eye contact with her during a family party. Abby, there were 10 other guests and she was across the room.
When I speak to my mother-in-law, she constantly reinterprets what I say, giving my words her own meaning; then she becomes offended by the meaning she assigned, not what I said. I am her son's wife; I am not a doormat. I'm the mother of her grandkids, and it's not my responsibility to fulfill her emotional need to feel important.
A healthy relationship is a two-way street, whether it's between spouses, parents and children or daughters-in-law with their mothers-in-law. -- DISGUSTED DAUGHTER-IN-LAW
DEAR DISGUSTED: There are often two sides to every story, and I'm sorry your relationship with your mother-in-law is such a poor one. Thank you for writing and sharing the other side."
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I swear to God, I am so SICK of N's!!! :P :twisted:
I went to the bank, nearby, a little while ago. The parking there is extremely tight and there is a "ONE WAY" sign prominently displayed. As I'm pulling into the driveway of the bank, looking for an open parking space, a car flew in from the opposite direction, ignoring the ONE WAY sign and driving the WRONG WAY! She nearly slammed into me, head on, and I pointed to the ONE WAY sign. (I looked for the license plate on the front of her car and noticed it was MISSING! That is illegal in my state.)
When I walked up to the door of the bank, after I parked my car, the individual who had nearly crashed my car deliberately SLAMMED the door into my hand and started screaming at me: "You better get the F*** out of MY way and get your rusty piece of SH** (meaning my car) out of MY way!"
I looked her straight in the eye and responded:
"F*** YOU, B*TCH!" She backed off and went to her car.
I tried to look at the back of her vehicle to get the license plate but couldn't get a tag.
How much you want to bet she's a scofflaw in other areas? I hope the cops get her lead a$$! :twisted:
Bones
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Well done Bones! I just learned what a ' scofflaw' is too - nice word, does what it says.
about: An actual complaint she made was that I didn't make enough eye contact with her during a family party.
:lol: :lol: :lol: Hell's teeth!
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Well done Bones! I just learned what a ' scofflaw' is too - nice word, does what it says.
about: An actual complaint she made was that I didn't make enough eye contact with her during a family party.
:lol: :lol: :lol: Hell's teeth!
Thanks, Guest!
Given the way these N's behave, I am SORELY tempted to B*tch-slap ALL of them!!!!!
Bones
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$10 says your nasty road rage woman is also overdrawn on her bank account by large amounts....
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$10 says your nasty road rage woman is also overdrawn on her bank account by large amounts....
I wouldn't be surprised. She wasn't in the bank long enough to either stand in line or use the ATM. Makes me wonder what kind of acting out she did toward the bank employees.....
Bones
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I really feel sorry for the bride-to-be and groom-to-be in the second letter! GEEZ!!!!! :shock:
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20110316
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Getting ready to go back to the dentist this morning to have the implant procedure started.
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Good for you, Bones.
I hope the implant is well done and a great success.
Hops
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Good for you, Bones.
I hope the implant is well done and a great success.
Hops
Well, when I got to the dentist's office, they took another X-ray and determined that the supporting bone has not filled in enough, yet, to support the implant. The procedure has been postponed to next month to give my jaw additional time to heal. If the dentist likes what the future X-ray reveals, then the implant can proceed. Otherwise, I'll need to wait until the bone is ready to receive it. Oh well......
Bones
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Oh Bones,
It'll be worth the wait. The implants I have are better than my natural teeth! :mrgreen: Patience!
tt
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Oh Bones,
It'll be worth the wait. The implants I have are better than my natural teeth! :mrgreen: Patience!
tt
Thanks, TT!!!
I just want to be able to get this over with so I can finally chew properly.
Then I have to discuss with the dentist about getting a mouth guard because of bruxism.
Bones
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Just checking in this morning. Going to have a busy weekend, this weekend!
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What are your thoughts on the letter about grandma?
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/grandma-s-beating-the-drum-is-unwelcome.html
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I want to know how Mum in the middle got to be so sane! Maybe it was having two children to protect from the boundary-bashing control-freakery of her mother? As for: "It is too bad that your mother's profession has convinced her that everyone is nuts." - well if it wasn't diagnosing everyone she knows, no doubt she'd be up to other controlling tricks. I doubt the profession makes much difference to a nut.
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I want to know how Mum in the middle got to be so sane! Maybe it was having two children to protect from the boundary-bashing control-freakery of her mother? As for: "It is too bad that your mother's profession has convinced her that everyone is nuts." - well if it wasn't diagnosing everyone she knows, no doubt she'd be up to other controlling tricks. I doubt the profession makes much difference to a nut.
Especially when the nut is GRANDMA!!!!!
Bones
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Just got home a little while ago from being a volunteer docent at one of the museums in D.C. One thing I will NEVER understand is WHY some parents seem to be ABSOLUTE DOOFUSES!!!!!!
The particular exhibit that I was being a docent for is clearly marked with multiple signs, on all sides, that state: "DO NOT TOUCH". When I walked to the back of the exhibit, I caught a kid in the process of CLIMBING INTO IT while his father was just standing there oblivious to what his kid was doing!!!!! :shock: Since part of my job is to remind visitors that the exhibit is not to be touched, I firmly stated: "Please do not climb into the exhibit! We have a cart where there are things you can look at and touch." The father snapped at me: "I'll handle this!" but continued to stand there while the kid clung to the side of the exhibit like a spider! I halfway expected the side of the exhibit to give way under the kid's weight! After several more seconds of the father standing there and the kid hanging onto the side of the exhibit, I looked the father in the eye as if to say: "Well?!?!?" The father huffed, peeled the kid off of the side of the exhibit, and left!
GEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bones
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Feeling a bit achy this morning after being on my feet until late last night. At the same time, all in all, yesterday was a good day.
Bones
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I have a decision to make regarding whether or not to continue attending the support group for people with disabilities. When I start getting messages of what I SHOULD be able to say or how I SHOULD be able to feel, I think it's time to take a step back and take a break from this face-to-face group. About three or four others have stopped attending and the facilitator doesn't seem to be bothered about why these other long-term-attendees have dropped out of sight. I'm not sensing much support at all...just a LOT of patronizing from an able-bodied YOUNG person who has NO clue what it is like to live with physical and mental challenges 24/7/365/366 a year. She tends to give hand-outs to the attendees that tend to be VERY simplistic. This past Friday, she gave me a handout of how Seniors SHOULD communicate with their Baby Boomer Children about difficult topics. I AM A BABY BOOMER WHO HAPPENS TO HAVE NO CHILDREN NOR DO I HAVE ANY FAMILY MEMBERS THAT I AM ABLE TO COMMUNICATE WITH BECAUSE OF DAMAGE BY NARCISSISTS!!!! The more I read the simplistic "advice" in this handout, the more I kept thinking: "Tell me SOMETHING I DON'T KNOW!"
The other attendees don't get it that trying to speak rationally to a Narcissist DOES NOT WORK because the Narcissist WILL NEVER HEAR YOU AND WILL ONLY STEP UP THE ABUSE EVEN MORE!!!!
I have until Friday, April 1st, to make my decision about whether or not to either permanently terminate or just take a break.
Bones
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don't get it that trying to speak rationally to a Narcissist DOES NOT WORK because the Narcissist WILL NEVER HEAR YOU AND WILL ONLY STEP UP THE ABUSE
I sure understand this, Bones.
Even my T, whom I otherwise truly adore...has defaulted into "this would be a reasonable thing to say to your boss...can't you ask him ___?" kind of this.
I have explained and explained that doing anything under than being totally INauthentic and unthreatening and stifling otherwise-healthy assertiveness absolutely positively guarantees PAYBACK. Maybe down the line, maybe apparently unrelated, but it's payback.
Sick situation but a real one, and I agree, it is very very hard to get people to grasp it.
Just
not
worth
it
Hops
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don't get it that trying to speak rationally to a Narcissist DOES NOT WORK because the Narcissist WILL NEVER HEAR YOU AND WILL ONLY STEP UP THE ABUSE
I sure understand this, Bones.
Even my T, whom I otherwise truly adore...has defaulted into "this would be a reasonable thing to say to your boss...can't you ask him ___?" kind of this.
I have explained and explained that doing anything under than being totally INauthentic and unthreatening and stifling otherwise-healthy assertiveness absolutely positively guarantees PAYBACK. Maybe down the line, maybe apparently unrelated, but it's payback.
Sick situation but a real one, and I agree, it is very very hard to get people to grasp it.
Just
not
worth
it
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
I think I am expecting this support group to help me deal with being a survivor of N's and this group is simply not capable of doing so.
Bones
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I sent the facilitator an e-mail that I'm taking a break and need to do a lot of thinking about what I need from a support group.
Bones
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:|
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:|
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Anyone recognize these signals?
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20110325
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BTW, is it just me or is customer service in stores seem to have become a thing of the past?
Many decades ago, when I was working in my first job in a dime-store, (remember those?), it was emphasized that customer service was paramount. If the store lost a customer due to an employee's behavior, (affecting the bottom line), then the offending employee was fired. Fast forward 40+plus years...ask a store employee a question, any question, (IF you can find the employee in the first place), about a piece of store merchandise and, more likely than not, the employee will snarl at you for "bothering" them with the question! Attempt to locate a store manager or supervisor to discuss this rude behavior and the rude employee IS the store manager/supervisor! Add in that the store employee, in question is YOUNG ENOUGH TO BE YOUR GRANDCHILD! :shock: Is it possible that the younger generation is being taught NOTHING?!?!?!?!?
Bones
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Anyone recognize these signals?
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20110325
Yes, but from a very long time ago, thank goodness.
As for customer service Bones, it's never been great here. But i think general stress levels and a me-first culture aren't helping. You probably need to live in China and have money to get good service now.
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Anyone recognize these signals?
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20110325
Yes, but from a very long time ago, thank goodness.
As for customer service Bones, it's never been great here. But i think general stress levels and a me-first culture aren't helping. You probably need to live in China and have money to get good service now.
I've noticed that the N's in my life have done the types of abuse that was discussed in today's advice column.
Regarding customer service...I guess when my generation was providing customer service, we were the last of a rare breed. The kids today appear to be clueless! :P
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Fighting PTSD again. :P
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PTSD from:
the abuser list?
the rude store manager?
All or none of the above?
There are a lot of things going on with employees these days that contribute to the rudeness you experienced. Low pay, long hours, no control over their job, no clear path "up", no recognition of failure/job well done (they simply don't know the difference because the educational system no longer teaches this), and probably the worst one: they aren't treated like human beings by many customers.
I make a point of at least smiling at these people and pleasantly chatting when we can.
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PTSD from:
the abuser list?
the rude store manager?
All or none of the above?
There are a lot of things going on with employees these days that contribute to the rudeness you experienced. Low pay, long hours, no control over their job, no clear path "up", no recognition of failure/job well done (they simply don't know the difference because the educational system no longer teaches this), and probably the worst one: they aren't treated like human beings by many customers.
I make a point of at least smiling at these people and pleasantly chatting when we can.
Thanks, P.R.
Actually, the PTSD is being triggered by, of all things, an art project. I'm in the process of creating a sculptural piece using crochet and other materials. As I'm working on it, I keep getting flashbacks to NWomb-Donor/Female NDNA-Donor screaming curses at me and physically destroying/trashing any artistic efforts I've done while proclaiming them as nothing more than piles of sh*t that deserve to be destroyed! NOT fun! :P
Bones
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The following was found in today's "Dear Abby". OMG, does it sound familiar! What do you think? Personally, I don't think "Abby" understands that we have OFTEN explained the OBVIOUS to these N's but the N's will NEVER hear us!
"DEAR ABBY: If no one answers the phone when my mother calls, she shouts on the answering machine for my children (ages 18 and 12) to "pick up!" Then she'll try my cell phone once or twice in quick succession before calling back on the house phone and leaving a cranky message. It's never an emergency; she just wants to chat.
I understand that Mom is frustrated, but sometimes we are resting, eating dinner or are otherwise indisposed. And yes, there are times when we're not in the mood to talk. She lectures me constantly about how my husband and I are teaching our children to be disrespectful by ignoring her calls. (Their teachers and other adults regularly comment about how polite they are.)
I see nothing wrong with letting a call go to voicemail if I can't or don't want to talk at that moment, and I always return Mom's call. I also encourage my kids to call her, but she doesn't make it easy when she begins a conversation with, "Didn't anyone ever tell you it's rude not to answer the phone?" Do I owe her an apology, or does she need to be more patient? -- "PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE ..."
DEAR PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE ...: Your mother apparently feels that her needs and wishes automatically take precedence over whatever else may be happening in your lives. You do not owe her any apologies, and yes, she does need to be more patient. But she won't get that message until you are able to communicate it clearly and directly to her. You are no longer a child, and you should not be expected to drop everything anytime your mother wants to "chat."
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Gosh Bones... does your crochet PTSD ring a huge GONG in my head! Me too.
Only, mine is sewing. My mom used to rip things right off the sewing machine telling me I "wasn't doing it right" and then start lobbing anger & resentment bombs at me because SHE had to do it.
I guess it never occurred to her that someone else might've shown me another way to sew... and that this "new" way might be better than hers... nor that she was hardly Ralph Lauren, Valentino, or an excellent seamstress herself. At some point, maybe in Home Ec... I did get some positive reinforcement and reassurance that "my way" of sewing was just fine... and I went on to make myself a wedding dress for myself - a 30s glam wedding dress for a D - tailored suits - and 7 bridesmaids dresses for hubs' Ds wedding...
Hubs' mom was a widow and supported her family as a professional seamstress. Beautiful suits and pageant dresses... and she didn't think there was a thing wrong with my sewing ability. I had to alter and fit the bridesmaids' dresses (a new experience then!) and picked her brain on the best ways... and got nothing but compliments from her about how nice the girls looked in the wedding.
So my Husqvarna is gathering dust right now... but I have a banquette that needs 5 custom cushions. I've found a source for the foam I need (there's no local sewing shop here) and I can order the Sunbrella fabric online. That's my next project.
I think I let the "nasty jealous, cut you down to size" voice of my bioNic mom grow even worse in my feelings than it really was in reality. You know how Abby will sometimes say: "Consider the source"? Yeah. When I was able to get past those artificially created "issues" and insecurities and cut my own self-doubt down to it's real size... it really wasn't so hard and I do pretty well when left to my own devices.
If I say so, myself! ;)
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Gosh Bones... does your crochet PTSD ring a huge GONG in my head! Me too.
Only, mine is sewing. My mom used to rip things right off the sewing machine telling me I "wasn't doing it right" and then start lobbing anger & resentment bombs at me because SHE had to do it.
I guess it never occurred to her that someone else might've shown me another way to sew... and that this "new" way might be better than hers... nor that she was hardly Ralph Lauren, Valentino, or an excellent seamstress herself. At some point, maybe in Home Ec... I did get some positive reinforcement and reassurance that "my way" of sewing was just fine... and I went on to make myself a wedding dress for myself - a 30s glam wedding dress for a D - tailored suits - and 7 bridesmaids dresses for hubs' Ds wedding...
Hubs' mom was a widow and supported her family as a professional seamstress. Beautiful suits and pageant dresses... and she didn't think there was a thing wrong with my sewing ability. I had to alter and fit the bridesmaids' dresses (a new experience then!) and picked her brain on the best ways... and got nothing but compliments from her about how nice the girls looked in the wedding.
So my Husqvarna is gathering dust right now... but I have a banquette that needs 5 custom cushions. I've found a source for the foam I need (there's no local sewing shop here) and I can order the Sunbrella fabric online. That's my next project.
I think I let the "nasty jealous, cut you down to size" voice of my bioNic mom grow even worse in my feelings than it really was in reality. You know how Abby will sometimes say: "Consider the source"? Yeah. When I was able to get past those artificially created "issues" and insecurities and cut my own self-doubt down to it's real size... it really wasn't so hard and I do pretty well when left to my own devices.
If I say so, myself! ;)
Thanks, P.R.
I'm glad I'm not alone with struggling with PTSD. With the NQueen@#$%, it wasn't just the ugly words alone...she was also a rage-aholic who would physically beat on you with whatever she would get her hands on. If she did that today, she would go to jail. Back then....the authorities looked the other way because children were treated as nothing more than possessions. Trying to work on Home Ec assignments at home made it worse because the teachers would insist on practicing one method and the NQueen@#$% would fly into a violent rage because SHE DECREED IT WAS WRONG!!!! NOT FUN being caught between two adults who were diametrically opposed and each insisting SHE WAS RIGHT AND THE ONLY ONE WHO WAS RIGHT! :P
Bones
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Exactly Bones, Exactly...
maybe it's self-soothing delusions... but nowadays, when I set out on projects like this and that old crap comes back up (like some foul thing I was forced to eat against my will)... I just think about how nice it is that I only have to please myself; do a "good enough" job for myself; and even indulge in my own "talking back" monologue of just how and why I do things the way I do them and "tell the nasty voice" that hey - she doesn't HAVE to like it... and I DON'T CARE IF SHE DOES OR DOESN'T.
Then, I let myself indulge in a rebellious teenaged smirk to myself... because somehow she can't tell me what or how to do anymore and I really have stopped wishing/hoping that I get her approval... or even attention. I still get nervous about her ulterior motives - and the whiplash "other shoe" syndrome - if she starts paying too much attention to me. Guarded. Self-protective.
That much is still necessary.
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Exactly Bones, Exactly...
maybe it's self-soothing delusions... but nowadays, when I set out on projects like this and that old crap comes back up (like some foul thing I was forced to eat against my will)... I just think about how nice it is that I only have to please myself; do a "good enough" job for myself; and even indulge in my own "talking back" monologue of just how and why I do things the way I do them and "tell the nasty voice" that hey - she doesn't HAVE to like it... and I DON'T CARE IF SHE DOES OR DOESN'T.
Then, I let myself indulge in a rebellious teenaged smirk to myself... because somehow she can't tell me what or how to do anymore and I really have stopped wishing/hoping that I get her approval... or even attention. I still get nervous about her ulterior motives - and the whiplash "other shoe" syndrome - if she starts paying too much attention to me. Guarded. Self-protective.
That much is still necessary.
Yeah! Around predators like that, we have to always keep our guard up!
I'm still working on finding a healthy way to self-soothe but I haven't found it yet.
Bones
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:|
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I dunno how healthy it is (I'm still basically withdrawn into my own cocoon space)... but a solo video game usually does the trick for me. And I have mini-rituals for all different parts of my day, too. They're not absolutely required anymore - just something I prefer.
And that's a pretty cool thing, when I think about it - not absolutely "needing" to self-soothe all the time. I experimented to see which ones "felt right" to keep... and which I could safely make "optional". When "nothing bad happened" by deliberately changing up the ritual (and if it wasn't all that good for me in the first place)... I started looking for new ways to fill that time. Still have a lot of goals and "want tos" in this area.
I can turn something as simple as making and drinking a cup of tea into effective "self-soothing". A shower. But one thing I have noticed... is that there has to be a physical element in the activity: it has to FEEL GOOD somehow. To my body... and then the rest of me follows...
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I dunno how healthy it is (I'm still basically withdrawn into my own cocoon space)... but a solo video game usually does the trick for me. And I have mini-rituals for all different parts of my day, too. They're not absolutely required anymore - just something I prefer.
And that's a pretty cool thing, when I think about it - not absolutely "needing" to self-soothe all the time. I experimented to see which ones "felt right" to keep... and which I could safely make "optional". When "nothing bad happened" by deliberately changing up the ritual (and if it wasn't all that good for me in the first place)... I started looking for new ways to fill that time. Still have a lot of goals and "want tos" in this area.
I can turn something as simple as making and drinking a cup of tea into effective "self-soothing". A shower. But one thing I have noticed... is that there has to be a physical element in the activity: it has to FEEL GOOD somehow. To my body... and then the rest of me follows...
That makes sense. I have to do more brain-storming on this.
Bones
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went on to make myself a wedding dress for myself - a 30s glam wedding dress for a D - tailored suits - and 7 bridesmaids dresses for hubs' Ds wedding...
Hawwwly jabayyyyyyysus, PR! I am totally dazzled.
(I have saved the old Singer that was my grandmother's, with fantasies of perhaps making a not-too-crooked hem to create some plain flat curtains one day. I bow my knee to you... I love the machine, it's an old black one you lift up out of its wooden table...wonder if it can be reconditioned when I'm ready? It goes: forward, back, fast and slow. Thassit.)
Bones,
I thought I wrote you the other day but don't see it so wanted to thank you again for sharing that link to the stunning, gorgeous, extraordinary crocheted reef project-- the parabolic reef.
Is that what you're working on? I love thinking of you doing this!
Sure sounds soothing to me...
hugs,
Hops
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went on to make myself a wedding dress for myself - a 30s glam wedding dress for a D - tailored suits - and 7 bridesmaids dresses for hubs' Ds wedding...
Hawwwly jabayyyyyyysus, PR! I am totally dazzled.
(I have saved the old Singer that was my grandmother's, with fantasies of perhaps making a not-too-crooked hem to create some plain flat curtains one day. I bow my knee to you... I love the machine, it's an old black one you lift up out of its wooden table...wonder if it can be reconditioned when I'm ready? It goes: forward, back, fast and slow. Thassit.)
Bones,
I thought I wrote you the other day but don't see it so wanted to thank you again for sharing that link to the stunning, gorgeous, extraordinary crocheted reef project-- the parabolic reef.
Is that what you're working on? I love thinking of you doing this!
Sure sounds soothing to me...
hugs,
Hops
You're welcome, ((((((((((Hops)))))))))))))))))!!!
I'm making more hyperbolic crochet and trying to make a small sculpture with them. Working on an art piece alone is W-A-A-Y outside of my comfort zone. It was easier when I was collaborating with others on the Smithsonian piece.
Bones
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Awww... Hops... you know what was behind my tenatious practice - practice - practice don't you?
Revenge, pure & simple. Being able to say in my own head - HA! Take that mom... you couldn't have made THAT. That's all it was. And perhaps the lack of a vengeful motive these days is why I'm so procrastinatory about starting new projects, you know?
AND... Bonesie just gave herself away (my lips are sealed tho - one artist for another)... I ran across these crocheted reefs a year or so ago, with MIL on a tip and link from one of her nieces. Absolutely boggles my mind and activates some obscure pleasure center in my brain to see something so "homely" as crochet mixed with, homogenized with, science. That is a rare talent, Bones... and I'm in awe!!
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Awww... Hops... you know what was behind my tenatious practice - practice - practice don't you?
Revenge, pure & simple. Being able to say in my own head - HA! Take that mom... you couldn't have made THAT. That's all it was. And perhaps the lack of a vengeful motive these days is why I'm so procrastinatory about starting new projects, you know?
AND... Bonesie just gave herself away (my lips are sealed tho - one artist for another)... I ran across these crocheted reefs a year or so ago, with MIL on a tip and link from one of her nieces. Absolutely boggles my mind and activates some obscure pleasure center in my brain to see something so "homely" as crochet mixed with, homogenized with, science. That is a rare talent, Bones... and I'm in awe!!
Thanks, P.R.
The Smithsonian Project was fun to do. It's scheduled to close on April 24th and I hate to see it go. When I first started working on the Project, I was doing it in memory of my Dad, who used to work for the Smithsonian years and years ago. Imagine the goosebumps I experienced when I learned that the Exhibit was being erected in the area where his office used to be!!!! :shock:
Bones
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that is just amazing, Bones...and beautiful:
I was doing it in memory of my Dad, who used to work for the Smithsonian years and years ago. Imagine the goosebumps I experienced when I learned that the Exhibit was being erected in the area where his office used to be!
Were you able to get your part of the parabolic reef actually joined to others? Not that I understand how the Smithsonian thing totally worked, but was the work of your hands actually made part of it, I hope?
You know, it was really, really, really nice to think of a man who worked at the Smithsonian having brought into this world our quirky, brave and beautiful Bones.
Thanks for sharing that glimpse of him.
You DID have a parent you can hold some love for, huh.
Hops
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that is just amazing, Bones...and beautiful:
I was doing it in memory of my Dad, who used to work for the Smithsonian years and years ago. Imagine the goosebumps I experienced when I learned that the Exhibit was being erected in the area where his office used to be!
Were you able to get your part of the parabolic reef actually joined to others? Not that I understand how the Smithsonian thing totally worked, but was the work of your hands actually made part of it, I hope?
You know, it was really, really, really nice to think of a man who worked at the Smithsonian having brought into this world our quirky, brave and beautiful Bones.
Thanks for sharing that glimpse of him.
You DID have a parent you can hold some love for, huh.
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
My work is included in the Exhibit. The first time I went to go see it, I was playing "Where's Waldo" and managed to spot them! That was a LOT of FUN to do! I like to believe that my Dad, in the Spirit World, is saying: Good job!"
Bones
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I saw photos of the Smithsonian Hyperbolic reef displays. They are so large with so many pieces and contributions. Fiber arts somehow strike me as being the most eccentric of all the artists because it's like taking a grandma thing and going bonkers with it. You have to have a sense of humor to be a fiber artist.
These things are really beautiful, I find myself getting all serious and asking why? WHY? And then I just smile and know that my inner child would approve.
This led me to see some blown-glass jelly-fish chandeliers that are so wonderful, I would get some IF I was in the market for art.
I would like to be in a room that had a whole bunch of jellyfish lamps hanging from the ceiling at night. I love artists, it's like they are always making new doorways into and out of the world.
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I saw photos of the Smithsonian Hyperbolic reef displays. They are so large with so many pieces and contributions. Fiber arts somehow strike me as being the most eccentric of all the artists because it's like taking a grandma thing and going bonkers with it. You have to have a sense of humor to be a fiber artist.
These things are really beautiful, I find myself getting all serious and asking why? WHY? And then I just smile and know that my inner child would approve.
This led me to see some blown-glass jelly-fish chandeliers that are so wonderful, I would get some IF I was in the market for art.
I would like to be in a room that had a whole bunch of jellyfish lamps hanging from the ceiling at night. I love artists, it's like they are always making new doorways into and out of the world.
Thanks, BTR!
Believe it or not, there are over 4,000 crocheted pieces, created by about 800 people, in the Exhibit. The youngest crocheter was only three years old and the oldest was 101!
Bones
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I never looked at these very close before, I thought I've seen it all because I knit, then I looked closer and there is a lot of form variation.
Reef pictures:
http://www.treehugger.com/hypercolic-coral-crochet-reef.jpg
I like this one up above because the stalks on the coral "trees" or sea-fan thingys give them more structure and makes them sculptural.
http://moblog.net/media/b/r/o/bronxelf/crocheted-coral-reef-part-1-3.jpg
The round egg shape things in this one look like sea sponges.
http://www.cynical-c.com/archives/bloggraphics/21.jpg
This one is fun!
This one also:
http://reefbuilders.com/files/2010/03/crochet-reef-hyperbolic.jpg
These red branch coral parts remind me of Ikebana:
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_O0IpfEr7zoY/SfXwstFUoqI/AAAAAAAAAB0/HG4tx_Xh1T8/s320/coral-reef+set+(2).jpg
Isn't it a conundrum that women use sheep hair and petrol products to make "fake" endangered coral reefs? That is some deep art installation. I like it.
Did anyone crochet a giant clam at the Smithsonian or sea horses or crabs or such?
I like the giant clam idea, I'm a slow knitter though, it would take me a long time.
In the end of you get hungry there is this :http://www.patriciawaller.com/images/hummer1.jpg
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I never looked at these very close before, I thought I've seen it all because I knit, then I looked closer and there is a lot of form variation.
Reef pictures:
http://www.treehugger.com/hypercolic-coral-crochet-reef.jpg
I like this one up above because the stalks on the coral "trees" or sea-fan thingys give them more structure and makes them sculptural.
http://moblog.net/media/b/r/o/bronxelf/crocheted-coral-reef-part-1-3.jpg
The round egg shape things in this one look like sea sponges.
http://www.cynical-c.com/archives/bloggraphics/21.jpg
This one is fun!
This one also:
http://reefbuilders.com/files/2010/03/crochet-reef-hyperbolic.jpg
These red branch coral parts remind me of Ikebana:
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_O0IpfEr7zoY/SfXwstFUoqI/AAAAAAAAAB0/HG4tx_Xh1T8/s320/coral-reef+set+(2).jpg
Isn't it a conundrum that women use sheep hair and petrol products to make "fake" endangered coral reefs? That is some deep art installation. I like it.
Did anyone crochet a giant clam at the Smithsonian or sea horses or crabs or such?
I like the giant clam idea, I'm a slow knitter though, it would take me a long time.
In the end of you get hungry there is this: http://www.patriciawaller.com/images/hummer1.jpg
The crocheted lobster, with crocheted lemon, cucumber and egg slices, on crocheted lettuce on a crocheted platter is CUTE!!!! That took a LOT of work and it looked like it was FUN to do!
There are at least a couple of crocheted giant clams in the Smithsonian Exhibit. There are other clams, crocheted in pink, with fake pearls in them, that were created by breast cancer survivors in honor of and/or in memory of others who were felled by this disease. A lot of heart and soul went into this.
Bones
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I have a question that I have been trying to figure out.
I'm on a committee, in my community, that has been tasked with getting certain things done. I've observed another member of this committee has been volunteering for EVERYTHING under the sun, in the city we live in, but when it comes time to ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING...she NEVER HAS THE TIME. As a result, what she has committed to do simply doesn't get done. I'm trying to wrap my brain around the question of: "WHY does she keep doing this???????????????" :?
Bones
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That's an odd one Bones...it's not like she can't say 'no' is it, if she's volunteering...I have no idea why someone would do this! :?
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That's an odd one Bones...it's not like she can't say 'no' is it, if she's volunteering...I have no idea why someone would do this! :?
It's very frustrating, especially when one of the things she volunteered for was assisting me with organizing an activity and I got left holding the bag because she would either (a) say she would call me and then not follow through with the phone call, (b) tell me she would meet with me at a certain time on a certain day and then no-show, and (c) complain about being requested to attend a meeting about the task at hand. HELLO?!?!?!?!? :?
Bones
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:? :P
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I wonder if she has problems with impulsivity...
Like, maybe she gets emotionally excited about the idea of "doing good" and/or wants the brief burst of good feeling she gets from saying (imagining) she will, but actually lacks the good discipline to follow through.
Not to the degree of the lady you describe, but I've been guilty of that now and then.
I'm sorry she left you hanging, Bones. Next time, maybe you can simply say, I want to know whether or not this is a serious commitment because if it's not, I would prefer not to be involved.
(I have a friend who's very kind but VERY unreliable. Organizing him to mow the lawn and actually git 'er done is exhausting...though he needs the work. But when he DOES do the work, it's impeccable.)
Hops
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I wonder if she has problems with impulsivity...
Like, maybe she gets emotionally excited about the idea of "doing good" and/or wants the brief burst of good feeling she gets from saying (imagining) she will, but actually lacks the good discipline to follow through.
Not to the degree of the lady you describe, but I've been guilty of that now and then.
I'm sorry she left you hanging, Bones. Next time, maybe you can simply say, I want to know whether or not this is a serious commitment because if it's not, I would prefer not to be involved.
(I have a friend who's very kind but VERY unreliable. Organizing him to mow the lawn and actually git 'er done is exhausting...though he needs the work. But when he DOES do the work, it's impeccable.)
Hops
It's hard to say. The fact that she always volunteers for stuff IN FRONT OF AN AUDIENCE might be a factor.
Bones
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I am SO ANGRY AND UPSET right now!!!!
I just learned that Mr. Idiot's mother died three months ago and, for him, it's no big deal! :P
To give a bit of background....when Mr. Idiot and I first got together, he told me that his father took him away from his mother when he was a newborn. His father knew where his mother was and seemed to get enjoyment about tormenting him about it. (This makes me wonder if Mr. Idiot's father was actually an N.) When Mr. Idiot graduated from high school, he tried to find his mother but was unsuccessful. I took what little information he had, did my own search, and was able to locate her in another state...in a nursing home. I got the phone number and called the nursing home to inquire about her. Much to my surprise and delight, they put her on the phone and that's when I learned that she had been trying to find him all these years!!!
Four months later, for Christmas, he and I flew to where she was living and surprised her with a reunion. (He tried to delay with the usual excuses of "getting round to it later" and I told him she may not have that kind of time. Besides, this was a Christmas present FOR HER!!!!) At first, she was puzzled when we first walked into her room and, when I spoke, she recognized my voice and realized that the man with me was her son! The way her face lit up was amazing!!! I gave them both privacy so they could talk without me being intrusive.
From that point on, I kept encouraging him to maintain contact with her and, at least, build some sort of relationship with her. As usual, he kept giving me the "I'll get round to it later" routine. When I asked if he had discussed with her about arrangements for him to be notified when something happens to her, again I got: "get round to it later". Bottom line...he DID NOTHING and SQUANDERED whatever time he could have had with his mother because he didn't see any urgency...always the same excuse of "I'll get round to it later...."
She died January 2nd and we just found out today after I nagged him, for the upteenth time, to at least give her a call. His emotional response to her death is a COMPLETE AND TOTAL DISCONNECT, like a houseplant died or something! I don't understand how he can be so uncaring!
I want to bitch-slap him SO BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DAMN IT!!!!!! :twisted:
Bones
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:x
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Hi Bones,
Why do you call him Mr. Idiot?
CB
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Hi Bones,
Why do you call him Mr. Idiot?
CB
Because he continues to do Idiotic Stupid Sh*t and thinks he so cute when he does it! He's pushing 60 for God's Sake!
Bones
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Bones, is he uncaring to you because he didn't have any relationship with his mother and it seems, didn't want one?
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Bones, is he uncaring to you because he didn't have any relationship with his mother and it seems, didn't want one?
He seems to treat ALL women this way! What I don't understand is why tell me he wanted to find her, then neglects her? I just don't get it!
Bones
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:x
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It feels like I'm grieving her loss by myself!
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I understand that, Bones.
If his mother was a decent person (at ALL -- which most old mothers would be, compared to the one you got) ... it must break your heart to NOT be able to experience some of the sweetness that is built in to connecting to, and then letting go of, an old woman at the close of her life.
Remember--he is not you. He has had a completely different experience in his head about his mother. On the outside, it does look cold and detached, that he seems so unaffected.
It's possible though, that he's just confused. Doesn't know what to feel and/or is having trouble accessing the feelings he does have (in there somewhere).
Do you think you're grieving the IDEA of a mother?
I can so imagine why this is causing a lot of pain for you...
It's not really her, or really him, though, is it?
His inner soup...you've been working a long time on yours, so it just must not make emotional sense to you, to see him react (or not react) this way.
But hopefully it really doesn't mean he's a "bad" person. Maybe if he sees that your emotion is loud and clear and kind of very visible about his mother's loss, he'll have a little more difficulty finding his own?
love to you, from your fellow orphan (and we're okay)--
Hops
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I understand that, Bones.
If his mother was a decent person (at ALL -- which most old mothers would be, compared to the one you got) ... it must break your heart to NOT be able to experience some of the sweetness that is built in to connecting to, and then letting go of, an old woman at the close of her life.
Remember--he is not you. He has had a completely different experience in his head about his mother. On the outside, it does look cold and detached, that he seems so unaffected.
It's possible though, that he's just confused. Doesn't know what to feel and/or is having trouble accessing the feelings he does have (in there somewhere).
Do you think you're grieving the IDEA of a mother?
I can so imagine why this is causing a lot of pain for you...
It's not really her, or really him, though, is it?
His inner soup...you've been working a long time on yours, so it just must not make emotional sense to you, to see him react (or not react) this way.
But hopefully it really doesn't mean he's a "bad" person. Maybe if he sees that your emotion is loud and clear and kind of very visible about his mother's loss, he'll have a little more difficulty finding his own?
love to you, from your fellow orphan (and we're okay)--
Hops
Thanks, ((((((((Hops!))))))))))))))
He finally said a little more, yesterday evening, about his father when I disclosed that I felt like punching him out for the way he treated both his son and the mother of his son. I commented that I just don't understand WHY his father did what he did. That's when he admitted that his father had NEVER been stable. One of his childhood memories is of watching one of his stepmothers lace his father's lemonade with Lithium because, otherwise, he would refuse to take his meds and then become SUPER-HYPER! (That tells me: Bipolar Disorder!) It sounds like he grew up in a chaotic environment where he never knew, from one minute to the next, what his father was going to do next! He also treated his little son like a yo-yo...dumping him on one relative when being a father was inconvenient, yanking him back when he felt "paternal", then dumping him again on another relative when he decided to start chasing skirt again! And the whole time, lying to this child regarding his mother. That's no way to have a childhood!!
Bones
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Compassionate feelings, Bones...
(except for the "telling him I wanted to punch him out" part"). :shock:
I'm glad he talked to you.
His inner child got some caring, because you listened.
xo
Hops
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Compassionate feelings, Bones...
(except for the "telling him I wanted to punch him out" part"). :shock:
I'm glad he talked to you.
His inner child got some caring, because you listened.
xo
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
BTW, let me clarify...
I wanted to punch out the NFather for the ABYSMAL way he treated his son and his baby's mother! That NFather was just SO WRONG!!!!
Bones
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Now I get it, Bones....
He, your bf, must have really felt cared for when he saw how much you wished he'd had different parenting.
xo
Hops
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Now I get it, Bones....
He, your bf, must have really felt cared for when he saw how much you wished he'd had different parenting.
xo
Hops
I can only hope so.
Bones
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At this point, it's hard to know what else to do. I don't want his mother to become a "non-topic" of "out of sight, out of mind" when I feel she deserves better than that.
Bones
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Maybe just saying gentle things like, "I'd like to hear more about it" -- in a soft way, and then giving him space to open up a little or a lot or later...
or
"I am sad that you had such a hard time"
"I think you deserved a kind father"
"I am glad you had that visit with your mother" (instead of focusing on what he didn't do)
"I would like to hear more about your childhood, can you tell me another memory?"
(All of those start with your own feelings.)
And then just gentleness, as much as you feel.
xo
Hops
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Maybe just saying gentle things like, "I'd like to hear more about it" -- in a soft way, and then giving him space to open up a little or a lot or later...
or
"I am sad that you had such a hard time"
"I think you deserved a kind father"
"I am glad you had that visit with your mother" (instead of focusing on what he didn't do)
"I would like to hear more about your childhood, can you tell me another memory?"
(All of those start with your own feelings.)
And then just gentleness, as much as you feel.
xo
Hops
Those are good suggestions....
Thanks, Hops!
Bones
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I'm waiting for an appropriate time to broach the subject again.
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The moment will come to you, Bones.
Just the gentleness will give it space to happen.
(If he finds it's safe, emotionally, to confide in you, he may do it again.
Or he might shut down again if that's been his comfort zone for a long time...
if that happens, remember it's not your fault, just what he's used to.)
You taking good care of yourself these days?
I still wish you could enjoy a magnesium soak!
hugs
Hops
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The moment will come to you, Bones.
Just the gentleness will give it space to happen.
(If he finds it's safe, emotionally, to confide in you, he may do it again.
Or he might shut down again if that's been his comfort zone for a long time...
if that happens, remember it's not your fault, just what he's used to.)
You taking good care of yourself these days?
I still wish you could enjoy a magnesium soak!
hugs
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
I've been trying to take care of myself the best I know how and continuing to find artistic things to do.
Bones
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:|
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Just checking in.
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I have to look back through this thread to find where I listed stuff to help recognize an N.
I need to add:
If they retaliate overtly/aggressively or covertly/passive-aggressively when you say "No" to their demand, they must be an N!
(If I haven't added this in other form already.)
Bones
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I think I asked this question before about why not have a message posted as a "Sticky", so it doesn't disappear, about how to recognize an N, characteristic behaviors of N's, something like that.
For example, N's seem to have an attitude of ENTITLEMENT. Two people I know have attempted to pull this stunt on a group of friends. One of them happens to be the club president. He attempted to demand that we give him the club treasury to use as his personal expense account BECAUSE HE'S THE PRESIDENT OF THE CLUB! :shock: The club members all told him: "NO WAY!!!! This is money for the club, NOT to subsidize you!" The second individual would show up at our dinner meetings, order food, then would beat feet when it came time to pay the tab...stiffing us with the cost of her meal! Her excuse? She referred to herself as one of the "founding" members of the club, therefore, she was ENTITLED to FREE MEALS at our expense!!!! :shock: She got told: "H*LL NO!!!!" Then she tried to guilt me into paying for her dinner FOR HER in addition to paying for my own dinner! I responded that she had already "burned that bridge" a long time ago! I paid my own tab and left her standing there with her mouth hanging open!
Bones
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Just checking in.
A thought or two that just went through my brain as I was reading about CGM's NWomb-Donor keeping only the bills connected to raising CGM....that reminded me of when the NAunt, sister of NWomb-Donor, had to go into a nursing home. The NAdopted sister and her NHusband went through the NAunt's house to clear it out. The boxes of stuff they didn't want got dumped, (yes, dumped), on me to go through. What was in those boxes? Nothing but canceled checks without anything else connected to them to make ANY sense! I shredded all of it!
This same NAdopted sister and her NHusband went through NWomb-Donor's house, cleared everything out, and stored it all in THEIR garage. If there was anything that was mine, (e.g. baby booties, baby book, Christmas ornaments I had created, etc.), they were never returned to me. The message I got was that I "didn't belong to THEIR family as I was nothing more than a retard and a pile of dog sh*t!" I had to let all of that material stuff go and move on.
Bones
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:|
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:|
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Having memory flashbacks this morning of being the family scapegoat.
-
:|
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Hang in there, ((((((((((Bones))))))))))
They don't have you in their clutches any more. They have NO more power over you.
(Don't give them any.)
hugs,
Hops
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Thanks, Hops.
Bones
===========================================================
Hang in there, ((((((((((Bones))))))))))
They don't have you in their clutches any more. They have NO more power over you.
(Don't give them any.)
hugs,
Hops
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Mentally, I know that the Narcissistic Womb-Donor is DEAD AND ROTTING IN HELL!!!
And yet, I still have instinctive reflexes that get triggered with the PTSD flashbacks.
Bones
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:|
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An unlikely trigger of an unpleasant memory with the commercial for "Your Baby Can Read". I remember that whenever a news broadcast or a newspaper article focused on a child prodigy, the NWomb-Donor would insist that the child in question needed to be punished and held back in school for being "too uppity". Made ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE TO ME!!!!! :?
Bones
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:|
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:|
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:|
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I'll NEVER understand Narcissists who insist on throwing PUBLIC tantrums because anyone DARED to shift their attention away from their ROYAL SELF-IMPORTANT PERSON!!! :P
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Yo mama was a piece of work, Bones.
Incomprehensible.
She might as well have been some sort of manta ray, for all I can identify with her.
(Not.)
You keep swimming, hear?
xo
Hops
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Yo mama was a piece of work, Bones.
Incomprehensible.
She might as well have been some sort of manta ray, for all I can identify with her.
(Not.)
You keep swimming, hear?
xo
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
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Just had something strange happen a little while ago.
My cell-phone rang and it was NDoofus calling and asking for a different person entirely! :shock: I simply responded with two words: "Wrong number". She APOLOGIZED and hung up! (I don't think she realized WHO she had accidentally called!) That is the FIRST TIME I have ever heard the words: "I'm sorry" come out of her mouth!!!! Interesting that she will say that to a stranger but NOT to her own social circle. What else can one expect from an N?
Then I thought to look up what has happened to the mother of NDoofus, who had been living with Alzheimer's for quite a few years. I discovered that less than four months after NDoofus' youngest sister had died, their Alzheimer mother passed away too.
I did send my condolences to the middle sister since I don't have any grievances with her. I don't expect a response though.
At least the mother's battle with Alzheimer's is over.
Bones
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Much to my surprise, the middle sister responded to my expression of condolences. I let her know that if she ever needed to vent, my ear was available.
Bones
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This letter appeared in Dear Margo this morning:
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/when-nutty-granny-won-t-take-no-smoking-for-an-answer.html
I remember seeing this letter before in either Dear Abby and/or Annie's Mailbox. I also recall that the previous appearance of this dilemma included additional details of the 10-year-old grandchild coming home, with an asthma attack, the last time she visited grandma and grandma remains in complete denial about it.
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I'm just feeling voiceless right now.
I'm upset and angry that, once again, a once-in-a-lifetime event has been COMPLETELY IGNORED with an "I'll get round to it later" that has rendered it MEANINGLESS!
F**KHEAD JUST DOESN'T GET IT!!!!
It feels like a re-run from the FOO!
F**K THIS, THAT, AND HIM!!!! :P
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Hey, ((((((Bones))))...
it's so frustrating when somebody draws a total blank about something that for you has deep meaning.
I'm sorry this is happening.
But what's the event?
Want some imaginary celebrating?
love,
Hops
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Hey, ((((((Bones))))...
it's so frustrating when somebody draws a total blank about something that for you has deep meaning.
I'm sorry this is happening.
But what's the event?
Want some imaginary celebrating?
love,
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
The event was the closing of the Exhibit at the Smithsonian on Sunday. I didn't want to go there alone because of the emotionality of having to say "Good Bye Forever" to a fun experience. He blew it off saying that he chose to stay home and SLEEP and that he would get round to recognizing the event later...maybe next week, next month, whatever. If it's NOT important to his little D*CK, he can't be F**KING bothered! F**K THAT!!!!
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This is just another example of an ongoing pattern and it makes me feel as if I am not worth anyone's time face-to-face.
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OK Bones - what gives?? I'm up too.
For me, it's a combo of wind that started howling yesterday afternoon + low atmospheric pressure so that my head is all stuff + hacking coughing + too many chocolate raisins after dinner!! (plus I slept 10 hours the day before...)
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OK Bones - what gives?? I'm up too.
For me, it's a combo of wind that started howling yesterday afternoon + low atmospheric pressure so that my head is all stuff + hacking coughing + too many chocolate raisins after dinner!! (plus I slept 10 hours the day before...)
I've been up since 3:00 AM in the morning and just couldn't go back to sleep. Now, at about 5:30 AM, I'm starting to feel the urge to go back to bed. So much on my mind.
Bones
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Bones...
Your inner artist needs to find new experiences, new outlets.
I really understand your grief over the hyperbolic reef. For you, it was a cathedral.
Do you believe you can in some way find a creative satisfaction in a new way of making art or contributing to beauty and good?
I do. Faith in you. There is a space for you. Many spaces for what you can do.
love,
Hops
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Bones...
Your inner artist needs to find new experiences, new outlets.
I really understand your grief over the parabolic reef. For you, it was a cathedral.
Do you believe you can in some way find a creative satisfaction in a new way of making art or contributing to beauty and good?
I do. Faith in you. There is a space for you. Many spaces for what you can do.
love,
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
I've created a couple of (small) Hyperbolic Crochet Coral sculptures that I'm putting on exhibit at the Green Man Festival. (I'm hoping to sell them.) If there is enough interest, I'll make more artwork to sell. They're fun to do and it gives me more ideas of what I want to do in that vein albeit on a small scale.
Bones
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Saw this in today's "Dear Prudence". This so-called "friend" sounds like an N to me. With "friends" like that, who needs enemies?
"Dear Prudence,
I was asked to be a bridesmaid in a friend's wedding five years ago, and I gladly accepted. Last year, I got married in a much smaller ceremony and did not ask this friend to be in my wedding. I did call to tell her how much I looked forward to her being there and how much I valued our friendship. Then, the day before the wedding, she called me crying hysterically that she would not be able to make it due to illness. After the wedding, my attempts to get in touch were blown off. Recently I saw that she joined Facebook, and I emailed her in an attempt to reconnect. After a few days she replied, telling me that by not including her in our wedding party I had made it clear that I didn't think much of our friendship. She also told me that she had not been sick but could not bring herself to attend a wedding where she felt she was not wanted, and I must have known that. I didn't, or else I wouldn't have paid for a dinner for her and her husband. She added that after I read all of this, I may not want to reconnect, and she'd understand. I want her to know that I did not know why she chose not to attend and that I think she is being unfair. How should I respond?
—Former Friend of Not a Bridesmaid
Dear Former,
These days, becoming a bridesmaid seems like a good reason to cry hysterically, given the expense and duties young women are expected to shoulder: hosting multiple parties and showers, buying an expensive and hideous dress, "supporting" the bride through a year of planning. However, you seem like a sane and thoughtful bride. Your friend, on the other hand, seems like just the opposite. Think of it, on the day before your wedding, you were supposed to be dealing with her melodrama. Your friend sounds like the bridesmaid's version of Miss Havisham—the pathetic jilted bride in Great Expectations who wears her decaying wedding dress for the rest of her life. Be glad you got out of the friendship before the baby shower meltdown. You can take your former friend's offer and reply, "You're right, let's not reconnect." Silence is another way to get that point across.
—Prudie"
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Wish you would put a photo of your crochet reefs on here.
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Wish you would put a photo of your crochet reefs on here.
I tried posting JPEGs and kept getting error messages. The only thing I can suggest is to Google "Hyperbolic Crochet Coral Reef" "Smithsonian". Something should pop up with that.
Bones
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Here's one of the links I found:
http://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/How-to-Crochet-a-Coral-Reef.html
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Just spotted this in Annie's Mailbox today. Boy, does it sound PAINFULLY familiar! I don't think the advice columnists understand what it means when you deal with Narcissists and Enabling Co-Narcissists!
"Dear Annie: When I was 5, I had to live with my dad and my stepmother, "Joann," who was physically, emotionally and verbally abusive. After 12 years, I left to live with my biological mom.
My relationship with Joann has been tenuous at best. She didn't bother to attend my high school or college graduations. When I married, she not only refused to come, but tried to keep my father away, as well. The two of them have been absentee grandparents to my sons, their only grandchildren, who are now 15 and 20.
Joann decided to retire early, which meant they wanted money from my siblings and me every month.
My husband said absolutely not. Since then they have quit calling, and I haven't spoken to them in eight months. She recently told my brother that I called and yelled at her, which is completely untrue.
I've had a couple of minor health scares recently. I'm tired of trying to please these two utterly self-centered people. I do not feel like extending the "olive branch" yet again, but part of me feels guilty because they are getting older. What would you do? — Fed Up with Family
Dear Fed Up: Extending an olive branch doesn't mean handing out cash. If the only thing your father values in this relationship is money, we don't see the point. Since you apparently still want some type of contact with your father, however, we recommend you take the finances off the table. Call Dad if you like. Send chatty letters and e-mails with updated family news, and expect nothing in return. You will be an attentive daughter and will have no reason to feel guilty. "
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This was in today's "Dear Abby". Boy, does it sound FAMILIAR!!!!! It reminds me of my FOO who attempted to control every minutia of my life as if I were the "family slave". In a sense, it made me glad I never had children to be exposed to this toxicity.
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"TWIN WHO BULLIED AS A CHILD BECOMES CONTROLLING AS ADULT
DEAR ABBY: My fraternal twin, "Marla," was always difficult. When we were kids she was physically and emotionally abusive. She stopped hitting me only after I outgrew her in high school, but she continues to try to control me.
When I started dating my wife, "Gloria," Marla would tell me Gloria wasn't good enough for me. At first, it gave me serious doubts about the woman who is the love of my life. We're now expecting our first child -- a daughter -- and Marla has been offering parenting advice that goes against what Gloria and I feel about child-rearing. When I politely decline her advice, Marla accuses me of being "selfish" for not appreciating it.
A parenting book was delivered anonymously to our home. It took me a few days to remember that Marla had mentioned it. Five days later she sent me an angry email because I hadn't thanked her for it.
Spats like this usually result in our not speaking for months. I harbor no ill will toward my sister and often don't know why we're fighting. She seems to thrive on the drama she creates with these artificial rifts.
I want my daughter exposed to healthy adult relationships, not abusive ones. How do I tell my twin I love her, but she must stop trying to control me and create conflict where none exists? I don't want to have to cut her out of my life. -- SOON-TO-BE-DAD
DEAR SOON-TO-BE-DAD: The patterns of a lifetime won't change without work on both your parts. Tell your twin that if she wants to be a part of your life -- and your daughter's -- some radical changes will be necessary. Offer to join her in family therapy. If she agrees, recognize that change won't be easy for her. If she refuses, do what you must to protect your child from her controlling and manipulative behavior."
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This is classic, Bones...
instead of accepting that other people are different - and allowed to be - as far as likes/dislikes, politics, values, culture...
and instead of saying: this is how I think/believe and why...
the "controlling" of all different flavors will always leap to the conclusion the "other" has some character flaw; are "bad people"; stupid... etc. I guess it's a sneaky, unconscious way of trying to validate their own ideas - which apparently they themselves don't have that much confidence in.
That "reflex" goes even further, like in some of today's political discussions, where one party demonizes (and lumps together) all the people in the other political party - the result being an "us" and "them" mentality; creating a straw "enemy" - to justify whatever further means of controlling they desire to pursue.
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This is classic, Bones...
instead of accepting that other people are different - and allowed to be - as far as likes/dislikes, politics, values, culture...
and instead of saying: this is how I think/believe and why...
the "controlling" of all different flavors will always leap to the conclusion the "other" has some character flaw; are "bad people"; stupid... etc. I guess it's a sneaky, unconscious way of trying to validate their own ideas - which apparently they themselves don't have that much confidence in.
That "reflex" goes even further, like in some of today's political discussions, where one party demonizes (and lumps together) all the people in the other political party - the result being an "us" and "them" mentality; creating a straw "enemy" - to justify whatever further means of controlling they desire to pursue.
Thanks, Hops!
I hope you are doing better today.
You're right, this is classic. It has me thinking of one of the N's I've had to deal with who has a bad habit of using religion to attempt to ram her control down the throats of people she thinks she owns. It gets old.
Bones
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Hey sweet Bones,
You gave me credit for a nice post from PR...but thanks for asking how I am.
I'm flailing a little, emotionally. Worried about myself. Wondering whether, despite how much I really like and trust him...I might need a female T these days. Just because perhaps a woman might better understand some of the particular pain.
There's so much I feel overwhelmed by. And the isolation of the workweek (isolation meaning working with sexist Nboss, and trying to behave with calm and confidence no matter the provocation) is getting to me. I don't feel as healthy as I should. And I'm feeling some uncertainty in my sense of support.
(I think that will change though.)
I am VERY excited about a dog-sitting job I have lined up!
Possible additional income stream if it goes well.
xo
Hops
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Hey sweet Bones,
You gave me credit for a nice post from PR...but thanks for asking how I am.
I'm flailing a little, emotionally. Worried about myself. Wondering whether, despite how much I really like and trust him...I might need a female T these days. Just because perhaps a woman might better understand some of the particular pain.
There's so much I feel overwhelmed by. And the isolation of the workweek (isolation meaning working with sexist Nboss, and trying to behave with calm and confidence no matter the provocation) is getting to me. I don't feel as healthy as I should. And I'm feeling some uncertainty in my sense of support.
(I think that will change though.)
I am VERY excited about a dog-sitting job I have lined up!
Possible additional income stream if it goes well.
xo
Hops
You're welcome, Hops!
I hope the dog-sitting job comes through.
Bones
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BTW, I'm in the midst of de-cluttering. I got a bunch of stuff shredded yesterday and now I'm working on boxing more stuff to be shredded.
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I must say that there's FINALLY JUSTICE!!!!
http://www.whitehouse.gov/blog/2011/05/02/osama-bin-laden-dead
I have friends who lost family members, sisters, brothers, parents, children, in the 9/11 attacks. May those loved ones now rest in peace. Their mass murderer has been brought to justice!
Bones
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It's quite a shock and I hope people stop cavorting.
It's a relief and justice but I feel as though the celebrating mobs are mixed up...it wasn't the death of one twisted man that caused all that celebrating in the streets in 1943...it was the end of war.
I am creeped out when people celebrate a death, any death (my Christian training, and that part I keep). But I'm glad they got him, so I feel...somber.
Hops
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It's quite a shock and I hope people stop cavorting.
It's a relief and justice but I feel as though the celebrating mobs are mixed up...it wasn't the death of one twisted man that caused all that celebrating in the streets in 1943...it was the end of war.
I am creeped out when people celebrate a death, any death (my Christian training, and that part I keep). But I'm glad they got him, so I feel...somber.
Hops
I have friends whose loved ones were murdered by this monster. As soon as I heard the news, my immediate reaction was that they FINALLY GOT THAT !@#$%^!!!!!!!! And I was GLAD that it was American troops that brought him to justice!
That's just me.
Bones
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I understand, Bones...I know a whole lot of people had that reaction and it isn't hard to understand why.
Especially when those lost are personally known...
hugs,
Hops
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I understand, Bones...I know a whole lot of people had that reaction and it isn't hard to understand why.
Especially when those lost are personally known...
hugs,
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
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May the Fouth be with you tomorrow Bones!
Hope you are doing well.
KatG
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May the Fouth be with you tomorrow Bones!
Hope you are doing well.
KatG
Thanks, KatG!
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Bones - I was also glad to see the news of Bin Laden brought to justice. I felt relief, a sense of "there really is justice in this world", and a sense that finally - that was over.
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Bones - I was also glad to see the news of Bin Laden brought to justice. I felt relief, a sense of "there really is justice in this world", and a sense that finally - that was over.
AMEN!!!!
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While reading through the thread about what is a family....it brought up a memory of a conversation I had with NWomb-Donor once. I made the comment that one can still LOVE a child even though one may not like the child's behavior of the moment. NWomb-Donor proceeded to tell me that I was mentally ill and should be locked up in a mental institution! Then she had the nerve to wonder why I stayed away from visiting her after that. BITCH!!!! :P
Bones
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Aww, hon.
I'm so sorry she was so ill. She really was sick with meanness, cruelty, and had no sense of how much words could hurt a child. I guess somebody taught her that you could just drill cruel remarks into a kid like invisible bullets.
You should be so proud that you've pulled out those bullets one at a time and thrown them away. It still aches sometimes, I am sure.
Yesterday morning I woke up and got sad, cried. I tried some prayer and that helped a little. Then a funny thing...I started rubbing myself really lovingly on my upper arm, a little like a self-hug, and talking to myself as though I was a loving gentle Mother, treating myself like "somebody" -- with great kindness.. Saying to myself out loud while stroking my arm, "You're okay, honey. You're all right." Saying it in real sincerity, in a really loving way.
Giving myself, directly, the affection and kindness my mother couldn't.
At first it made me cry more but in just a little while, I found my heart eased up so much. And my whole day went better.
Have you tried doing that with my friend Bones?
I would love to hear you being so loving to the little girl in you.
xo
Hops
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Aww, hon.
I'm so sorry she was so ill. She really was sick with meanness, cruelty, and had no sense of how much words could hurt a child. I guess somebody taught her that you could just drill cruel remarks into a kid like invisible bullets.
You should be so proud that you've pulled out those bullets one at a time and thrown them away. It still aches sometimes, I am sure.
Yesterday morning I woke up and got sad, cried. I tried some prayer and that helped a little. Then a funny thing...I started rubbing myself really lovingly on my upper arm, a little like a self-hug, and talking to myself as though I was a loving gentle Mother, treating myself like "somebody" -- with great kindness.. Saying to myself out loud while stroking my arm, "You're okay, honey. You're all right." Saying it in real sincerity, in a really loving way.
Giving myself, directly, the affection and kindness my mother couldn't.
At first it made me cry more but in just a little while, I found my heart eased up so much. And my whole day went better.
Have you tried doing that with my friend Bones?
I would love to hear you being so loving to the little girl in you.
xo
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
Right now, I just feel numb. It's hard to know what to feel.
Bones
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This mother-in-law sounds like a Narcissist! What do you think?
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/when-quot-shush-mother-quot-doesn-t-work.html
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Feeling numbed out and just going through the motions this weekend.
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I hate the reminders of today. :P
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let's mother each other, hon...
here's a big gentle loving hug, arms wrapped tight around you, holding you close and telling you, "I am so glad my Bones is in this world, I love you so much and I'll protect you and care for you, and Bones you are good, and brave, and beautiful"
Now. YOU open your heart and YOU give Bones that hug, and you rock from side to side...and you tell yourself those things, because YOU are just loving with the warmest, gentlest, kindest heart, that little girl in you. You are doing it right NOW. You won't be numb any more.
Do it every day. Don't think about whether it's silly.
love,
Hops
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let's mother each other, hon...
here's a big gentle loving hug, arms wrapped tight around you, holding you close and telling you, "I am so glad my Bones is in this world, I love you so much and I'll protect you and care for you, and Bones you are good, and brave, and beautiful"
Now. YOU open your heart and YOU give Bones that hug, and you rock from side to side...and you tell yourself those things, because YOU are just loving with the warmest, gentlest, kindest heart, that little girl in you. You are doing it right NOW. You won't be numb any more.
Do it every day. Don't think about whether it's silly.
love,
Hops
Thanks, (((((((((((((((((((Hops))))))))))))))))))))))))
Bones
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Not sure what to feel today. :|
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Just checking in. :|
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Watched Dr. Phil yesterday afternoon where the theme of the show was "Forgiving the Unforgivable". One of the families featured has issues similar to what I dealt with growing up....a self-centered, self-absorbed NWomb-Donor, a pedophile stepfather and two siblings who were sexually abused all through childhood. The NWomb-Donor kept trying to act as if SHE were the victim and that her children should just get over it and stop being evil to her. (She had even FORCED her children to apologize to their abuser because he had been convicted and sent to prison for sexually abusing them!) :P :evil:
I was SHOUTING at that bitch on TV and calling her every name you can imagine!!! She NEVER deserved the title of "mother" given she couldn't be bothered to protect her own children. She even has the NERVE to demand unsupervised access to her grandchildren and can't understand why BOTH of her children have responded with: "HELL NO!"
DAMN!!!!!
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Watched Dr. Phil yesterday afternoon where the theme of the show was "Forgiving the Unforgivable". One of the families featured has issues similar to what I dealt with growing up....a self-centered, self-absorbed NWomb-Donor, a pedophile stepfather and two siblings who were sexually abused all through childhood. The NWomb-Donor kept trying to act as if SHE were the victim and that her children should just get over it and stop being evil to her. (She had even FORCED her children to apologize to their abuser because he had been convicted and sent to prison for sexually abusing them!) :P :evil:
I was SHOUTING at that bitch on TV and calling her every name you can imagine!!! She NEVER deserved the title of "mother" given she couldn't be bothered to protect her own children. She even has the NERVE to demand unsupervised access to her grandchildren and can't understand why BOTH of her children have responded with: "HELL NO!"
DAMN!!!!!
Sounds like my mum! The level of denial is quite amazing. Even with clear evidence they still deny or blame others. My sister once denied doing something even though I was showing her the doctor's record that was written all about it. She claimed the doctor made it up. I'm not suprised you were shouting Bonesie, you're very brave to even watch, I find I can't watch anything about abuse any more, it's just too near the mark, although I find I can read about it okay, don't know why? Hope you are doing okay xxxxx
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Watched Dr. Phil yesterday afternoon where the theme of the show was "Forgiving the Unforgivable". One of the families featured has issues similar to what I dealt with growing up....a self-centered, self-absorbed NWomb-Donor, a pedophile stepfather and two siblings who were sexually abused all through childhood. The NWomb-Donor kept trying to act as if SHE were the victim and that her children should just get over it and stop being evil to her. (She had even FORCED her children to apologize to their abuser because he had been convicted and sent to prison for sexually abusing them!) :P :evil:
I was SHOUTING at that bitch on TV and calling her every name you can imagine!!! She NEVER deserved the title of "mother" given she couldn't be bothered to protect her own children. She even has the NERVE to demand unsupervised access to her grandchildren and can't understand why BOTH of her children have responded with: "HELL NO!"
DAMN!!!!!
Sounds like my mum! The level of denial is quite amazing. Even with clear evidence they still deny or blame others. My sister once denied doing something even though I was showing her the doctor's record that was written all about it. She claimed the doctor made it up. I'm not suprised you were shouting Bonesie, you're very brave to even watch, I find I can't watch anything about abuse any more, it's just too near the mark, although I find I can read about it okay, don't know why? Hope you are doing okay xxxxx
Thanks, (((((((((((((((((TwoAPenny)))))))))))))))))))))
I'm trying to hang in there the best I can.
You are so right!!! The level of denial I have been observing is quite amazing!
Bones
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Checking in this morning.
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Just checking in.
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How are things going, Miz Bones?
Hops
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How are things going, Miz Bones?
Hops
Feeling so tired today........
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tucked in...
teddy bear...
sweet dreams for Bones!
xo
Hops
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tucked in...
teddy bear...
sweet dreams for Bones!
xo
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
I've just been feeling so down lately.
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A lot of losses around you this spring, Bones...
I think you are simply grieving. Your heart is sad.
And that will change. It always changes, just hold on...
...be gentlle with yourself.
Hops
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A lot of losses around you this spring, Bones...
I think you are simply grieving. Your heart is sad.
And that will change. It always changes, just hold on...
...be gentle with yourself.
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
I'm getting ready to post a link that I just found on the news. I'll explain a bit in my next posting.
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This appears to be an example of a Narcissist violating others' boundaries and she got CONSEQUENCES!!! :)
http://news.yahoo.com/s/yblog_thelookout/20110518/us_yblog_thelookout/loud-cell-phone-talker-removed-from-quiet-car-by-police
Based on the description of the Quiet Car, there are signs PROMINENTLY displayed that state NO CELL PHONES. Only a Narcissist would ignore them and act as if privileged to a special exception.
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Just checking in.
Thinking alot today.
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To give a brief overview of Bradshaw On: Healing the Shame That Binds You, here's a list of topics he covers:
The Many Faces of Shame
The Sources of Toxic Shame
The Hiding Places of Toxic Shame
The Externalization Process
A Parable: The Prisoner in the Dark Cave
Coming Out of Hiding And Isolation
12 Steps for Transforming Toxic Shame into Healthy Shame
Liberating Your Lost Inner Child
Integrating Your Disowned Parts
On Loving Yourself
Healing Your Memories and Changing Your Self-Image
Confronting and Changing Your Inner Voices
Dealing with Toxic Shame in Relationships
Spiritual Awakening
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Is anyone interested in a brief overview of Bradshaw On: The Family?
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What are your thoughts on a possible topic or thread of "Narcissists Caught on Tape"? I saw a pretty good example last night on Kitchen Nightmares focusing on the Oceana Restaurant in New Orleans. OW!!! :shock:
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Hey Bones,
i saw that too...
Don't hesitate to start a thread...just see what happens!
You don't need permission.
hugs
Hops
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Hey Bones,
i saw that too...
Don't hesitate to start a thread...just see what happens!
You don't need permission.
hugs
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
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Feeling an emotional jumble today and don't know what to call it.
This past Saturday, I walked over to the park nearby to work on the community garden. The weather wasn't too hot, cold, windy, or humid and it felt like a perfect time to get outside and get my hands in the dirt and the veggies. When I walked into the park, I encountered two young kids, (actually they were in their 20's but are kids to me), wearing t-shirts that said "Park Rangers". They were sitting at a table asking visitors to sign in and they were giving out stuff like key rings, Frisbees, jump-ropes, balls, and mouse-mats. Out of curiosity, I asked what this was about. One of the young Park Rangers explained that this was "Take Your Family to the Park Day" and then LOUDLY announces to me: "YOU FAILED BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T BRING YOUR FAMILY!"
I was appalled, hurt, and felt insulted by a kid who was young enough to be my grand-child! I shot back: "I DON'T HAVE A FAMILY!" Then he started apologizing profusely! Geez!!!!
Bones
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Who has found examples of Narcissists caught on tape? Can they be found on YouTube?
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Anyone notice N's on Judge Judy lately?
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Not quite sure what I feel today other than frustrated...especially with Voc. Rehab....given that Voc. Rehab. gets paid with state money that is funded by my tax dollars. I would think that the Voc. Rehab, counselors would be more responsive/communicative while assisting clients with disabilities to gain employment. Is that an unreasonable expectation?
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Sorry, Bones...haven't been doing much N-spotting lately.
What's going on with Voc Rehab?
And how are you doing physically?
Where do you go for a spot of coolness these days?
hugs
Hops
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Sorry, Bones...haven't been doing much N-spotting lately.
What's going on with Voc Rehab?
And how are you doing physically?
Where do you go for a spot of coolness these days?
hugs
Hops
Thanks, Hops! What follows belong is L-O-N-G!
Regarding Voc. Rehab.....they had sent me to a program called Reaching Independence Through Self-Employment, (R.I.S.E.), given that I am overqualified, (and over-aged), for everything in my geographic area.
To backtrack a bit...I had been assigned to one Voc. Rehab. counselor who simply frustrated the hell out of me with inappropriate crap such as sending me a job announcement, in the construction field, when I have ABSOLUTELY NO EXPERIENCE in construction! That told me she had not bothered to read the copy of the resume' I gave her during our first meeting. When I pointed out the REQUIREMENTS that were included in the job announcement and the obvious lack of a match with my background, training, experiences, education, etc., etc., etc., plus the fact that there would be hundreds of QUALIFIED applicants applying for that position in this lousy economy, her only response was: "But.....it's a job!" :? Then she went on to suggest that I apply for a job as a coroner! :shock:
I asked her if Voc. Rehab. was going to send me to medical school so I could become a licensed physician and a licensed surgeon. She responded: "Oh, no, no, no! We're NOT going to do THAT!" I had to EXPLAIN THE OBVIOUS that a coroner has to have medical training and be a LICENSED physician/surgeon. I also pointed out to her that I have NEVER been to medical school in my life! She commented: "But....it's cutting on dead people. How hard can that be?" I'm thinking to myself: "WTF?!?!? WHAT planet is she living on?!?!?!?) I had brought up the possibility of getting into the R.I.S.E. program based on a suggestion from another Voc. Rehab. counselor at a (useless) workshop I was required to attend. She gave me a bunch of "I don't know.....why don't you go to a different county? :?) Shortly after that meeting, I received a letter that this Voc. Rehab. counselor had been placed on "administrative leave" and that my case had been re-assigned to a second Voc. Rehab. counselor. (Administrative leave conjured up a LOT of possible reasons which I have no way of verifying.)
I had to wait about a month or two before I was finally able to meet with Voc. Rehab. counselor Number Two. Counselor Number Two started to immediately give me a boatload of excuses about why she should simply close my case and do NOTHING! I had to advocate for myself that Counselor Number One had done NOTHING except give me the runaround and I was in no mood to accept that from Counselor Number Two. I asked Counselor Number Two about the Reaching Independence Through Self Employment Program and she responded with a bunch of "I don't know....why don't I close your case for now?" (Again, I'm thinking: WTF?!?!? :P) Within a week or two of that one and only meeting with Voc. Rehab. Counselor Number Two, I receive ANOTHER letter that Counselor Number Two had RESIGNED and that my case had re-assigned to the Supervisor. I had to wait several more months before I was able to have a face-to-face meeting with the Supervisor.
When I finally met with the Supervisor, she asked me a LOT of questions such as why I'm not working in my field of study given my Master's degree and I told her of all the obstacles and Catch-22 situations I had encountered, which made it impossible to work in that field. Getting a Master's does not automatically give me license to practice. I have to work as a trainee, with a board-approved supervisor, in order to earn the required hours and all the board-approved supervisors, that I contacted, are not interested in hiring a trainee so I had to give up that goal. I asked the Voc. Rehab. Supervisor about the R.I.S.E. Program and, much to my surprise, she had me enrolled IMMEDIATELY at a facility near my home! :shock: (I still can't understand why Counselor Number One and Counselor Number Two had such a difficult time with that!)
I attended the classes over the course of several months and, with the assistance of the course instructor, wrote several drafts of my business plan that would need to be submitted to the Committee for their approval. As I was working on revising my business plan, I get ANOTHER letter stating that Voc. Rehab. Counselor Number One has returned from Administrative Leave and I had been re-assigned back to this Idiot!!! :P Just as my business plan was reaching its final form with a target of submitting it to the Committee within 24 to 48 hours, (they had to receive it well in advance of their committee meeting in order to familiarize themselves with what I was proposing), I get a phone call from Voc. Rehab. Counselor Number One, who proceeds to tell me that SHE doesn't like what she's looking at, (an earlier, way-outdated previous draft), and demanded that I immediately TRASH what I've done and START OVER FROM SCRATCH!!!! I told her: "No! What you are looking at is outdated and my revisions are WAY PAST that first, second, third, and fourth draft. I have been working closely with the R.I.S.E. instructor, the business plan is nearly complete, the Committee is scheduled to meet within a matter of days and I need to submit my proposal either tomorrow or the day after tomorrow for the Committee to begin reading it." V.R. Counselor Number One repeated her demand that I trash what I've worked on because SHE didn't approve!
By this point, I was getting really PISSED OFF as she had NOT been involved with my case, at all, for at least ONE YEAR and I didn't like the idea of her waltzing in at the tail-end of the Self-Employment process with orders that I trash everything and start over from scratch in order to get HER approval! I bluntly stated: "This is MY business plan, NOT YOURS, I have been working closely with the R.I.S.E. instructor and, in that instructor's view, it is almost ready to be submitted to the Committee as my business plan simply needed a few more minor tweaks. The draft you are looking at is WAY OLD and WAY OUTDATED!" (I'm also thinking, why can't V.R. Counselor Number One be bothered to communicate with the R.I.S.E. instructor so that we are all on the same page?!?!?!? Is that too much WORK for her?!?!?!? Other V.R. counselors ACTUALLY CAME WITH THEIR CLIENTS to the R.I.S.E. orientation to SUPPORT THEIR CLIENTS!) V.R. Counselor Number One got pissed off at me because I DARED tell her: "N-O!" Then she accused me of NEVER telling her about my retirement pension from my old job! (I HAD TOLD HER ABOUT THAT PENSION DURING OUR VERY FIRST FACE-TO-FACE MEETING WHEN WE FIRST LAID EYES ON EACH OTHER!!!! WTF?!?!?)
Fast-forward: The Committee met on May 6th and I have been waiting ever since to find out what the Committee's decision was regarding my business proposal. This past Friday, May 27th, I sent an e-mail to the R.I.S.E. instructor asking him how long it normally takes for a client to be informed of the Committee's decision. I learned that the Committee sent out their decision on MAY 9th!!!! The instructor suggested I contact V.R. Counselor Number One to ask her what she did or is doing. By this point, I had already forwarded the e-mail regarding May 9th to the V.R. Supervisor. (Why am I NOT surprised that V.R. Counselor Number One chose to sit on it and not communicate anything...AGAIN! I'm thinking she's being passive-aggressive because I dared say the word "No" to her and she doesn't want to do the required work that the Committee has recommended.) I told the R.I.S.E. instructor that I'm already communicating with the V.R. Supervisor because this non-communication/non-action on V.R. Counselor Number One's part is NOT a new problem, (based on info that the V.R. Supervisor sent me). I feel very annoyed that my tax money is paying V.R. Counselor Number One to help her clients find employment and she wants to pull this crap instead of doing her job! Damn!!!!!
Bones
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Bones, commiserations and applause for staying in there and keeping at it!
People can be half-arsed, lazy, incompetent idiots. I don't know why they do jobs that they can't do, but they do, too many of them. Sheesh I would kick some bottoms on your behalf, if I could.
As a dear friend once said to me: don't let the bastards grind you down. I try not to!
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Bones, commiserations and applause for staying in there and keeping at it!
People can be half-arsed, lazy, incompetent idiots. I don't know why they do jobs that they can't do, but they do, too many of them. Sheesh I would kick some bottoms on your behalf, if I could.
As a dear friend once said to me: don't let the bastards grind you down. I try not to!
Thanks, Guest!
I really appreciate it!!!!
Bones
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:|
Just checking in.
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Oh, wow.
How totally blindingly frustrating.
I really feel for you, Bones.
I hope you will NOT give up in spite of the bureaucrats.
It's such a dance...to learn the balance of ASSERTIVENESS (without showing anger) and SWEET TALKING it takes to wake up someone who's either asleep in the system or using it to act out power needs.
DON'T give up. Keep looking for advocates for yourself...you DO deserve chances.
hugs
Hops
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Oh, wow.
How totally blindingly frustrating.
I really feel for you, Bones.
I hope you will NOT give up in spite of the bureaucrats.
It's such a dance...to learn the balance of ASSERTIVENESS (without showing anger) and SWEET TALKING it takes to wake up someone who's either asleep in the system or using it to act out power needs.
DON'T give up. Keep looking for advocates for yourself...you DO deserve chances.
hugs
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
I haven't had the chance to check my e-mail yet today to see if I have gotten a response from Voc. Rehab. I've been busy from early morning to mid-afternoon volunteering in one disaster drill scenario and will be heading out the door shortly to complete a disaster-related training at a different facility. I'll describe the experiences in more detail later after I've had a chance to rest and recuperate. Definitely great learning experiences!
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After sending my last e-mail to the Voc. Rehab. supervisor, asking that I be re-assigned to a different counselor because my current counselor and I are NOT getting along, (she simply WILL NOT HEAR ME), I got an e-mail response from the supervisor yesterday evening. The supervisor asked me to contact her about either continuing with the current counselor "because she is an 'expert' with the program" I just completed or if I wanted to be re-assigned to a different counselor without a guarantee of a timely appointment. (I haven't been getting timely appointments all along and the few appointments I have had made me feel as if I was talking to a brick wall!) I wrote back to the supervisor that I want to be RE-ASSIGNED TO A DIFFERENT COUNSELOR! (After that last, obnoxious, phone call from my current counselor, I do NOT trust her to have my best interests at heart while my taxes pay her salary!)
Am I making sense?
Bones
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Yes Bones!
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Yes Bones!
Thanks, Guest!
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I sent a response to the supervisor on Thursday night and thought she should have read it by Friday. I haven't heard back yet.
Bones
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Another thought hit my brain regarding my frustration with Voc. Rehab.
Way back, when I was working at one facility, I had been given an extensive caseload even though I had NO prior experience! I compared that situation with what V.R. Counselor Number One is doing...or attempting to do.
Hypothetically..........suppose I was still working with my extensive caseload and I had to take an extended leave due to my birth defects flaring up. Common sense tells me that my caseload would need to be re-assigned to someone else as my clients' lives don't automatically go "on hold" because my medical issues are flaring up. Their lives are separate from mine and their lives will still continue to evolve without any input from me. That is the way life is supposed to happen. Then, hypothetically, once the doctor determines that I am healthy enough to resume that position with my extensive caseload....common sense tells me that I need to meet with each client, face to face, ASK QUESTIONS about what has been going on with their lives during my absence, LISTEN TO WHAT MY CLIENTS ARE TELLING ME, paraphrase to them what I think I heard them say, then adapt their individual treatment plans according to their information.
If I have that capability, why can't V.R. Counselor Number One have that capability? Unless she is an N??????
Is this logical?
Bones
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Hi Bones,
I don't think it's logical to assume she is "an N", necessarily...
But I think the way you describe how responsibly and appropriately you would have responded to this situation were you in her shoes...is wonderful. You are describing adult, appropriate, effective, mature standards for performing that job.
I wish she'd had them. It has huge consequences for you and for others in similar situations.
I think some people, especially in demanding service public sector jobs...just get burned out. So exhausted from the insanely elaborate demands of the bureaucracy -- and the barriers the bureaucracy places between them and their beginning desires to do good, be competent, make a difference... that those balanced, mature, effective and efficient approaches are defeated nearly out of the gate. And some, like in any job, may not be as smart or dedicated as others. Some who start with solid ideals get twisted by the eternal frustration that the dense fields of paperwork and all that present such huge obstacles to actually helping. They may be co-opted and begin to identify with the bureaucracy itself, rather than the higher purpose of the organization.
Don't give up, Bones...keep advocating for your dreams. And don't take it personally.
If I could advise one thing, it'd be to try to approach these bureaucracy gatekeepers by always starting by verbally, and genuinely (with practice, it gets natural) stating something to them about an underlying positive. Sounds hokey, but I find that things go better when I pause, get centered, and start a conversation by saying something like, "I really appreciate the work that you're doing and I imagine your workload is just overwhelming. Thank you for helping me. I sincerely appreciate it." ... or ... "I'm sorry to ask you to explain this over again, but I find I need to get each step really clear. Is it okay if I say back to you, the sequence of what steps I need to take next? Then you can clarify anything I might be missing."
In the middle of a conversation like that I'll pause and touch on my "seeing them" as people again -- saying something like, "I really appreciate your patience." Over time those kinds of responses become habits that seem to make things work better. Not magic and not a panacea but it sure makes things feel better. THAT much I can control...my own demeanor, what I convey.
It's not magic and it's not manipulation...but from gov't workers to nursing home staff, I've found a difference.
Also, in your shoes, I'd never hesitate to calmly mention the Asperger's (even if they have that on paper) and explain briefly how that may mean a little awkwardness in communication. I don't know which sort of description would be handiest but whatever would help them NOT respond with annoyance, but with more understanding.
"I have Aspergers and that means you may notice my responses are a little _____ , and I hope you'll know I'm listening. I though that might help to mention." Or something like that that feels comfortable to you.
(Somebody in this system will be able to do a good job working with you and you DESERVE to find him or her and don't don't don't give up! Those golden gems or wonderful calm folks who know how to hang in and keep finding a way to thread through the barriers to the help you need, they're in there, too.)
Those are probably overwritten (my major) but I hope helpful. Keep what is and junk the rest!
love to you, Bones...
Hops
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Thanks, Hops.
She is aware of the Asperger's but refuses to accept the possibility that adults can have it. She seems to believe that only children have it and should outgrow it. Neurological differences from birth don't work that way!
Bones
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Another reason I suspect she may be an N is based on her reaction to the word: "No".
Bones
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Still waiting to hear back from the supervisor.
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Had an interesting development take place yesterday morning.
The instructor from the Reaching Independence through Self Employment classes called me to ask how I was progressing with the approved purchases for my business. I told him that I am still waiting to get a letter from Voc. Rehab. and I've yet to receive a response from my counselor after the e-mails I sent since May 27th. He was shocked that Voc. Rehab. has not followed up on any of the R.I.S.E. recommendations for over 30 days. He told me he would be calling my Voc. Rehab. counselor to find out what is going on. Now I'm waiting to hear back from my instructor regarding the outcome of his phone call.
Interesting..........
Bones
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My school referred my family to the county mental health center because I was having serious struggles. At the age of 13, I was suicidal, tried to starve myself to death, and would hide behind furniture and file cabinets. (I realize now that a lot of my behaviors were on the autism spectrum. Connect neurological struggles with an NWomb-Donor, who was also sexually and physically abusive, and the result is a NIGHTMARE!) At the therapist office, she would proclaim herself and her NGC son as the poor innocents and that I needed to be locked up in a mental institution because I was the ONLY one with the problem. This went on until one day she dragged me into the therapist's office while in the midst of a Narcissistic Rage! The therapist spoke with me alone and I described what led up to this latest explosion from her. Then he spoke with the NGC alone and got a similar story. Finally, he spoke to the NWomb-Donor alone and also got a similar story albeit from HER stance that SHE was the victim and that I needed to be removed from HER house IMMEDIATELY! Then the therapist called all three of us together.
Imagine NWomb-Donor's shock and horror when the therapist told her straight to her face...."This child is finally starting to think, feel and behave like a NORMAL 14-year-old! GET OFF HER BACK!" NWomb-Donor grabbed NGC by the hand and stormed out of the office, leaving me there. She refused to go back for any more sessions and also convinced NGC he didn't need therapy either because there was nothing wrong with him! As far as they were both concerned, the only problem they had was me and the sooner they got rid of me, the sooner their problem would be solved! Sick? Yes!
Hey Bones -- SHOCKING isn't it? Seeing it in "print"?
Reading your story actually turned my stomach -- because of the parallels to my forced visit to the "witch doctor" at 12... this would've been 1969. Like you, I was the "problem". Like you, I had some alone time with the doctor and she told my mom to "leave her alone"... which of course, she interpreted literally. When I tripped over this memory my first reaction was to be angry at the doctor who planted the idea and suggestion in my head, that I could put Twiggy and all her experiences/feelings away in a box. Once I had processed everything that had happened, I realized that this poor doctor - who had less than an hour with me, one time - actually did me a huge a favor; maybe even saving my life... in that she made it possible for me to cope and go on, until I could move out of my mom's house - and shortly thereafter - move to another state.
It sure wasn't the doctor's fault that it took me 40 years to get around to re-integrating that part of me... all those memories. My fear and disgust and rage were still pretty intense and difficult to "swallow" and digest, even as a mature, grown woman, when I did get around to it. It was really hard to accept that this was part of my life's history; a big part of me that I was completely unaware of for years... but when I did start to accept it, and let it become just another fact about me in the "past" - like the hexagonal granny glasses I used to wear in the 70s with hippie peasant dresses and beaded moccasins... - once I started to let this complete "being" memory fall into place for those couple of years - then all of a sudden I started to understand who I am NOW... and WHY I am the way I am. I understand that I'm never going to be able to tell my story of what happened to me, without residual anger and fear... but I'm no longer at the mercy of those emotions - they don't control me anymore... because I know what generated that level of intensity now... and I know that this intensity and what I survived are a normal, human response to that kind of treatment from anyone, much less my own mother. Despite what I was told about this same intensity making me a "problem", over & over again.
I'll bet you also lived off the scraps of validation for self, wherever and whomever they came from? My 5th grade teacher was a refugee from Romania during WWII... and she "got" what I was suffering from; she saw me change from the beginning of the school year; change from a normal kid into one who would hide in closets... and she understood that there was a reason for it, though in that day and age - where I lived - no one pried or else they believed the lies my mother told. This teacher helped me as much as she could and was behind the communication - the checking in on me - that happened from one of my 5th grade friends a couple of years ago via facebook. I guess we did read Anne Frank, that year, too... I've been trying to figure out when I read that. I was helped by people who suffered way more than I did - and yet they knew instantly what I suffered from because of their experiences.
I suppose though, one of the reasons my mom decided we had to move to another town... she knew I talked to certain people and she didn't want to have her lies exposed. And abortion was still illegal in those days - no matter how old one was.
I still say my mom drugged me - valium or whatever she had on hand; her own prescriptions - so that my memories would be fuzzy, vague and scrambled. So I would doubt myself and believe her "big lie" about what happened to me. But my ability to remember was way stronger than that, even if it only comes together in still-photos sometimes, instead of video. I hid that info - and am still hiding it, except here - although the idea of writing a book still dances in front of me, sometimes. I would REALLY need to be completely NC with bro - legally and otherwise - before I did this.
And I'd probably still be sued for slander.
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Example of a Narcissist caught on tape?
http://beta.news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout/texas-movie-theater-makes-example-psa-texting-audience-170925090.html
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My school referred my family to the county mental health center because I was having serious struggles. At the age of 13, I was suicidal, tried to starve myself to death, and would hide behind furniture and file cabinets. (I realize now that a lot of my behaviors were on the autism spectrum. Connect neurological struggles with an NWomb-Donor, who was also sexually and physically abusive, and the result is a NIGHTMARE!) At the therapist office, she would proclaim herself and her NGC son as the poor innocents and that I needed to be locked up in a mental institution because I was the ONLY one with the problem. This went on until one day she dragged me into the therapist's office while in the midst of a Narcissistic Rage! The therapist spoke with me alone and I described what led up to this latest explosion from her. Then he spoke with the NGC alone and got a similar story. Finally, he spoke to the NWomb-Donor alone and also got a similar story albeit from HER stance that SHE was the victim and that I needed to be removed from HER house IMMEDIATELY! Then the therapist called all three of us together.
Imagine NWomb-Donor's shock and horror when the therapist told her straight to her face...."This child is finally starting to think, feel and behave like a NORMAL 14-year-old! GET OFF HER BACK!" NWomb-Donor grabbed NGC by the hand and stormed out of the office, leaving me there. She refused to go back for any more sessions and also convinced NGC he didn't need therapy either because there was nothing wrong with him! As far as they were both concerned, the only problem they had was me and the sooner they got rid of me, the sooner their problem would be solved! Sick? Yes!
Hey Bones -- SHOCKING isn't it? Seeing it in "print"?
Reading your story actually turned my stomach -- because of the parallels to my forced visit to the "witch doctor" at 12... this would've been 1969. Like you, I was the "problem". Like you, I had some alone time with the doctor and she told my mom to "leave her alone"... which of course, she interpreted literally. When I tripped over this memory my first reaction was to be angry at the doctor who planted the idea and suggestion in my head, that I could put Twiggy and all her experiences/feelings away in a box. Once I had processed everything that had happened, I realized that this poor doctor - who had less than an hour with me, one time - actually did me a huge a favor; maybe even saving my life... in that she made it possible for me to cope and go on, until I could move out of my mom's house - and shortly thereafter - move to another state.
It sure wasn't the doctor's fault that it took me 40 years to get around to re-integrating that part of me... all those memories. My fear and disgust and rage were still pretty intense and difficult to "swallow" and digest, even as a mature, grown woman, when I did get around to it. It was really hard to accept that this was part of my life's history; a big part of me that I was completely unaware of for years... but when I did start to accept it, and let it become just another fact about me in the "past" - like the hexagonal granny glasses I used to wear in the 70s with hippie peasant dresses and beaded moccasins... - once I started to let this complete "being" memory fall into place for those couple of years - then all of a sudden I started to understand who I am NOW... and WHY I am the way I am. I understand that I'm never going to be able to tell my story of what happened to me, without residual anger and fear... but I'm no longer at the mercy of those emotions - they don't control me anymore... because I know what generated that level of intensity now... and I know that this intensity and what I survived are a normal, human response to that kind of treatment from anyone, much less my own mother. Despite what I was told about this same intensity making me a "problem", over & over again.
I'll bet you also lived off the scraps of validation for self, wherever and whomever they came from? My 5th grade teacher was a refugee from Romania during WWII... and she "got" what I was suffering from; she saw me change from the beginning of the school year; change from a normal kid into one who would hide in closets... and she understood that there was a reason for it, though in that day and age - where I lived - no one pried or else they believed the lies my mother told. This teacher helped me as much as she could and was behind the communication - the checking in on me - that happened from one of my 5th grade friends a couple of years ago via facebook. I guess we did read Anne Frank, that year, too... I've been trying to figure out when I read that. I was helped by people who suffered way more than I did - and yet they knew instantly what I suffered from because of their experiences.
I suppose though, one of the reasons my mom decided we had to move to another town... she knew I talked to certain people and she didn't want to have her lies exposed. And abortion was still illegal in those days - no matter how old one was.
I still say my mom drugged me - valium or whatever she had on hand; her own prescriptions - so that my memories would be fuzzy, vague and scrambled. So I would doubt myself and believe her "big lie" about what happened to me. But my ability to remember was way stronger than that, even if it only comes together in still-photos sometimes, instead of video. I hid that info - and am still hiding it, except here - although the idea of writing a book still dances in front of me, sometimes. I would REALLY need to be completely NC with bro - legally and otherwise - before I did this.
And I'd probably still be sued for slander.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((PhoenixRising)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
I'm hoping Instant Karma gets those Bitches for what they did!
You have a right to your Voice!
Bones
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Indeed, I do have a voice. And I use it more often, Bones.
But I don't think there's any magic, instant karma or ultimate justice to be gained by telling my story this way, for me. It's just another re-hash of the same old shit sandwich, and I'd rather have a crab cake! I have spent far too long feeling bad about what wasn't my fault, in the first place, to do it one more time... in hopes someone publishes and buys the book. That kind of "acceptance" isn't even attractive to me; it isn't what I need emotionally.
And sometimes, there are good reasons for "secrets". Sure, there's still a worry lingering that if I publish moi's memoirs... either bro or mom will completely lose it and meltdown and have to be locked up for their own (or my) safety. I'd be tempted to blame myself for this - no matter how unfair that really is.
No; this time - the secret protects ME. They don't know that I "know" what really happened to me. It doesn't matter if they want to maintain belief in their delusional lies or not; my mother's already given away enough clues to confirm truth, for me anyway. She's beginning to slip into dementia, I think - slowly; gradually - but still going. There isn't even a good revenge motive in this, that I can find and I'm not too proud to say that revenge has it's temptatations... unfortunately, I think the effort of telling my story officially, would only hurt myself - again. So there just isn't any point.
The purpose of the secret is to maintain my boundaries - for good reason; to give myself the space and time to actually LIVE a life that's free of the old crap and enjoy myself... for however long I have left in this life, to do so. The only reason I MIGHT write the story again from today's perspectives - and put myself through the agony of it again - would be for my daughters; to explain me to them... and give them the clues to explain themselves to themselves.
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Indeed, I do have a voice. And I use it more often, Bones.
But I don't think there's any magic, instant karma or ultimate justice to be gained by telling my story this way, for me. It's just another re-hash of the same old shit sandwich, and I'd rather have a crab cake! I have spent far too long feeling bad about what wasn't my fault, in the first place, to do it one more time... in hopes someone publishes and buys the book. That kind of "acceptance" isn't even attractive to me; it isn't what I need emotionally.
And sometimes, there are good reasons for "secrets". Sure, there's still a worry lingering that if I publish moi's memoirs... either bro or mom will completely lose it and meltdown and have to be locked up for their own (or my) safety. I'd be tempted to blame myself for this - no matter how unfair that really is.
No; this time - the secret protects ME. They don't know that I "know" what really happened to me. It doesn't matter if they want to maintain belief in their delusional lies or not; my mother's already given away enough clues to confirm truth, for me anyway. She's beginning to slip into dementia, I think - slowly; gradually - but still going. There isn't even a good revenge motive in this, that I can find and I'm not too proud to say that revenge has it's temptatations... unfortunately, I think the effort of telling my story officially, would only hurt myself - again. So there just isn't any point.
The purpose of the secret is to maintain my boundaries - for good reason; to give myself the space and time to actually LIVE a life that's free of the old crap and enjoy myself... for however long I have left in this life, to do so. The only reason I MIGHT write the story again from today's perspectives - and put myself through the agony of it again - would be for my daughters; to explain me to them... and give them the clues to explain themselves to themselves.
I understand.
I hope your daughters don't end up repeating history.
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Haven't heard back from the R.I.S.E. instructor regarding his follow-up so I've sent him an e-mail asking what happened. Still waiting.
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sorry you're in waiting mode, Bones...
Hope you can distract yourself with something that makes you happy.
Hops
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sorry you're in waiting mode, Bones...
Hope you can distract yourself with something that makes you happy.
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
I've been working on a client's contract to help with that.
Bones
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In the meantime, the waiting is so hard to do.
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Finally communicated with my R.I.S.E. instructor via e-mail yesterday to inform him that I STILL have not heard a thing from Voc. Rehab. He told me that if I have not heard anything more by tomorrow, Monday, June 13th, to please let him know and he will call Voc. Rehab. again to get this expedited.
Bones
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Hey Bones... sounds like the "problem" is less to do with you, your request... or anything remotely personal. It sounds like there's a lot of disorganization, chaos, maybe a breakdown in bureaucracy or procedures in Voc. Rehab... maybe some personnel turnover without a knowledge transfer or communication... you know? People try to "carry on" but can't because the whole org is "broken". It happens more than we know, because people do try to hide this with excuses and quasi-reasons.
At least, from what you've said - that's what it looks like to me.
I don't wait easily, either. I was told this was because I was impatient (well - but, Mom; you're delusional!!)... but now I think the real reason is that I was expected to "hop to" immediately - no matter what else I was doing - and respond immediately to demands from the MomBro... yet I could wait till hell froze over for either one of them to help with normal life tasks... to even answer a question from me... to make a decision. Other people have been amazed at the amount of patience I have... both for exacting or monotonous tasks (love needlepoint & enjoyed pointillism)... and with difficult people and situations.
But what to do while waiting? I've started to carry a handheld game or puzzle of some sort. Some places don't like this - one doctor's office had big signs... no cell phones, no games... and even with the sound off, I got some dirty looks. So I told him it was my anxiety medication and he "got it" and didn't mention it again. I'll bet you can find something like that, too.
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Hey Bones... sounds like the "problem" is less to do with you, your request... or anything remotely personal. It sounds like there's a lot of disorganization, chaos, maybe a breakdown in bureaucracy or procedures in Voc. Rehab... maybe some personnel turnover without a knowledge transfer or communication... you know? People try to "carry on" but can't because the whole org is "broken". It happens more than we know, because people do try to hide this with excuses and quasi-reasons.
At least, from what you've said - that's what it looks like to me.
I don't wait easily, either. I was told this was because I was impatient (well - but, Mom; you're delusional!!)... but now I think the real reason is that I was expected to "hop to" immediately - no matter what else I was doing - and respond immediately to demands from the MomBro... yet I could wait till hell froze over for either one of them to help with normal life tasks... to even answer a question from me... to make a decision. Other people have been amazed at the amount of patience I have... both for exacting or monotonous tasks (love needlepoint & enjoyed pointillism)... and with difficult people and situations.
But what to do while waiting? I've started to carry a handheld game or puzzle of some sort. Some places don't like this - one doctor's office had big signs... no cell phones, no games... and even with the sound off, I got some dirty looks. So I told him it was my anxiety medication and he "got it" and didn't mention it again. I'll bet you can find something like that, too.
Thanks, PhoenixRising!
I know the Voc. Rehab. system is broken. I'm not the only client who has encountered frustration with these professionals. I made the mistake of assuming that the Voc. Rehab. professionals had enough training to understand the various disabilities that they would encounter on their caseloads. Unfortunately, for adults on the Autism/Asperger Spectrum, Voc. Rehab. has NO clue what to do with that. With this particular counselor, she has a history of NOT communicating when she is supposed to.
Bones
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Finally communicated with my R.I.S.E. instructor via e-mail yesterday to inform him that I STILL have not heard a thing from Voc. Rehab. He told me that if I have not heard anything more by tomorrow, Monday, June 13th, to please let him know and he will call Voc. Rehab. again to get this expedited.
EXCELLENT, pro-active, being-your-own-advocate choice, Bones! GOOD FOR YOU.
No point in obsessing on this particular counselor's inadequacies...you just keep calmly, determinedly, repeatedly advocating for yourself and requiring action/response...even if you need to enlist others (as you just appropriately did) or (always courteously and with no sign of anger) going over her head.
Bravo! You're being a great squeaky wheel. Know that old expression?
"It's the squeaky wheel that gets the grease." And it's talking about what you just did for yourself.
Hops
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Finally communicated with my R.I.S.E. instructor via e-mail yesterday to inform him that I STILL have not heard a thing from Voc. Rehab. He told me that if I have not heard anything more by tomorrow, Monday, June 13th, to please let him know and he will call Voc. Rehab. again to get this expedited.
EXCELLENT, pro-active, being-your-own-advocate choice, Bones! GOOD FOR YOU.
No point in obsessing on this particular counselor's inadequacies...you just keep calmly, determinedly, repeatedly advocating for yourself and requiring action/response...even if you need to enlist others (as you just appropriately did) or (always courteously and with no sign of anger) going over her head.
Bravo! You're being a great squeaky wheel. Know that old expression?
"It's the squeaky wheel that gets the grease." And it's talking about what you just did for yourself.
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
I'm hoping to get this resolved soon.
Bones
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I'm hoping to hear something by sometime today.
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I got an e-mail from my R.I.S.E. instructor asking me if I had heard anything yet from Voc. Rehab. I told him that I've still gotten Zilch, Nil, Nada, Nothing at all. He told me he's going to follow up to find out what's going on.
Bones
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I haven't checked the e-mail much yesterday for any updates as I've been sick as a dog all day yesterday. My bronchial tubes got all gunked up. Not sure if it's asthma or bronchitis or a combination of the two. YUCK!!! :P
Bones
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I'll trade ya my sore tooth for your yuck, Bones... :D
Hope you feel better and hear something soon.
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I'll trade ya my sore tooth for your yuck, Bones... :D
Hope you feel better and hear something soon.
Thanks, PR!
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No change yet.
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:P
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Well, I got antibiotics and painkillers - to prep me for the root canal next week. And even tho' the painkillers are having an opposite effect on me - hyper instead of sleepy - it's SOOOOO good that the pain went away. I wasn't enjoying being me very much, when in that much pain.
Hope you hear something today, Bones.
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Well, I got antibiotics and painkillers - to prep me for the root canal next week. And even tho' the painkillers are having an opposite effect on me - hyper instead of sleepy - it's SOOOOO good that the pain went away. I wasn't enjoying being me very much, when in that much pain.
Hope you hear something today, Bones.
Thanks, PR!
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The following was in today's Annie's Mailbox. I think this NSperm-Donor is a real piece of work! I couldn't help but think "What Would Judge Judy Do?" if this case appeared before her. I know she had similar cases where it came out that the children were being ripped off by the NBiological-Units and Judge Judy would rip the creeps a new one!!!! (YAY, Judge Judy!)
=================================================================================
"Dear Annie: My father is a dentist and earns a good living, but he is going after my money. When I graduated from high school, he took the money relatives and friends sent me and kept it for himself. A year later, he and Mom were going through a divorce, and he subpoenaed my work records to find out what I was earning. Their divorce was finally settled, but when Dad found out I was awarded a partial college scholarship of $980, he wanted "his share."
Mom and Dad both paid for my college tuition, but I worked hard to earn that small scholarship so I could stand on my own two feet. I am frustrated and a little disgusted with my father's greed. Shouldn't he feel proud of his daughter's accomplishment instead of trying to steal it? His true colors came out during the divorce, and I took my mother's side. Now he apparently has divorced me, as well. I support myself and don't believe he is entitled to my money. What should I do? — Spurned Daughter
Dear Daughter: Unless Dad is planning to take you to court for that money, we think you should ignore his demand. It is mean-spirited and punitive. Some disturbed and misguided parents try to hurt the ex-spouse by going after the children. We hope Dad will calm down, and while you're waiting, please consider both legal and emotional counsel. Your college counseling department should be able to help."
=================================================================================
What are your thoughts?
Bones
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An N Caught on Tape!
http://news.yahoo.com/s/yblog_thelookout/20110617/us_yblog_thelookout/woman-says-shes-too-educated-to-be-kicked-off-new-york-train
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The good news....the gunk, junk, and crap in my bronchial tubes are starting to break up.
The bad news.....the gunk, junk, and crap in my bronchial tubes are starting to break up and it's waking me up at odd hours during the night, ruining my sleep.
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Despite the season, try making a tea of hot lemon juice and honey. You get lots of Vit C and the warm liquid will help soothe your nasal passages and throat, at least. I know it doesn't help with the lung congestion, but it is soothing.
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Despite the season, try making a tea of hot lemon juice and honey. You get lots of Vit C and the warm liquid will help soothe your nasal passages and throat, at least. I know it doesn't help with the lung congestion, but it is soothing.
Thanks, PR.
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Looks like the Voc. Rehab. is going to be in limbo indefinitely until they decide to reassign me to a new counselor. The counselor I was originally assigned to is still doing NOTHING except sitting on her butt! :P
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The congestion in my bronchial tubes is continuing to break up and I'm feeling really bitchy this morning. :P
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:P
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:|
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I found the following quote in my InBox this morning. I thought it might fit in here. What do you think?
Bones
"The worst egoist
is the person to whom
the thought has never occurred
that he might be one.
Sigmund Freud"
(1856-1939)
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Just had a run-in with an N this morning while taking out the trash. She was going on and on, in her monologue, about how DARE the HOA take HER to court for not paying her condo assessments, (she hasn't paid a penny for over TWO YEARS and she's PROUD of that! :?) and kept ranting on about how the HOA is conducting illegal activities against her and the judge is on HER side!!!
(It's TOO early in the morning and I'm not even sure why she's telling me all this! I'm NOT her buddy!) :?
Bones
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Bones
that person is a NUT. Hope you can shrug it off and not take it personally.
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Bones
that person is a NUT. Hope you can shrug it off and not take it personally.
Thanks, Guest.
I'm trying hard to not take it personally and, at the same time, I'm annoyed that I'm forced to financially shoulder, through my condo fees, what she refuses to pay for! (It makes me want to smack her!)
Bones
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Woke up at 3:00 AM and can't get back to sleep.
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My sleep-wake cycle is screwed up this morning.
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:|
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Little better this morning, Bones?
Seems like you're up a little later...
Hope you got some good rest!
Hops
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Little better this morning, Bones?
Seems like you're up a little later...
Hope you got some good rest!
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
The sleep-wake cycle has been really loopy lately. I still have a left-over cough from last week so my body may still be fighting what's left of this bug.
Bones
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Interesting developments at Voc. Rehab........
I met with the supervisor, today, to discuss my case, or more accurately, what has NOT been happening with my case.
Turns out the supervisor was under the impression that the original counselor had been keeping me informed. (She has NOT!) I pointed out that was why I sent my e-mail to the supervisor because I had NOT been receiving ANY communications at all about what was going on.
The supervisor was also under the impression that an Individual Plan for Employment had been written out, discussed, and signed off by me. (Again....NOT!) I told her that NOTHING has happened in that department!
Then the supervisor asked me about how things were going with my application for either SSDI or SSI. (WTF?!?!?) I explained that I was NEVER eligible for SSDI or SSI and spelled out the details that make me ineligible for either program. (I had checked into this BEFORE I contacted Voc. Rehab.)
The supervisor looked confused as she stated that this is what my original counselor had been telling her all along!!!! (Looks like the original counselor had been LYING to her boss to play "Cover Her Ass" while, in reality, she had been doing NOTHING!)
Then the supervisor and I worked on a game plan to get on the next step for my home-based business. I've done my part and now I'm waiting for a response from my instructor. I've also been re-assigned to a new counselor and she and I seem to hit it off quite well. She has a service dog that is a golden lab and that 4-legged baby is GORGEOUS!!!! Smart dog too! He knew when he became the topic of conversation and started striking a pose! Made me laugh!
Bones
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Oh that is so FANTASTIC.
Bravo, Bones!
Woof!
New counselor!
Good communication!
Healthy assertiveness!
Woo-hoo Miz B!!!!!!!
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Oh that is so FANTASTIC.
Bravo, Bones!
Woof!
New counselor!
Good communication!
Healthy assertiveness!
Woo-hoo Miz B!!!!!!!
Thanks, Hops!
Today's meeting has given me some hope.
Bones
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BTW, when I spoke with the supervisor about my business plan, that's when I learned that she, (the supervisor), had not known that the original counselor had received ANYTHING from the R.I.S.E. Committee until I sent my e-mail at the end of May. She, (the original counselor), simply BURIED it in her office and communicated NOTHING to anyone! After the supervisor received my e-mail, she had to go into that counselor's office and DIG through stuff before she found it! Makes me wonder WHY that counselor was there in the first place!
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Another interesting thing I noticed during my appointment yesterday...the supervisor did not have my file folder in front of her. Apparently, she couldn't find that in the first counselor's office either. (I think it was fortunate that she found my business plan and R.I.S.E. recommendations where she did, even if it was separated from my file folder.) After our conversation yesterday, now I'm wondering if she's going to dig for that and look through it to see what's REALLY there, what SHOULD be there but is NOT there, etc.
Bones
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Just had a run-in with an N this morning while taking out the trash. She was going on and on, in her monologue, about how DARE the HOA take HER to court for not paying her condo assessments, (she hasn't paid a penny for over TWO YEARS and she's PROUD of that! :?) and kept ranting on about how the HOA is conducting illegal activities against her and the judge is on HER side!!!
(It's TOO early in the morning and I'm not even sure why she's telling me all this! I'm NOT her buddy!) :?
Bones
A bit of a follow up on this and it appears it's causing some legal messes in my community.
Unfortunately, this Nut-Case N is on one of the committees that I'm on and she has started running her mouth about her lawsuits to everyone within and outside this committee. I've started making quiet inquiries about whether or not her presence on this committee constitutes a legal conflict of interest since she is also suing the community, as a whole, of which this committee is a part.
EWWWWW!!!! I DON'T LIKE MESSSES LIKE THIS!!!!!
Bones
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Well done Bones. I hope you can get other committee members to see your point too (which sounds valid to me).
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Well done Bones. I hope you can get other committee members to see your point too (which sounds valid to me).
Thanks, Guest.
I've quietly raised the question, privately, to the chairperson of the committee and I'm awaiting a response back.
Bones
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Good. If you need to be loud and public though, will you do that? Just for you to consider Bones.
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Good. If you need to be loud and public though, will you do that? Just for you to consider Bones.
Thanks, Guest.
I can be loud and public if I need to be. What complicates things is that this N tends to be a sue-er, suing her "enemies" at the drop of a hat regardless whether or not the grounds are legit. She's become a right royal pain in the rump!
Bones
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The response I got from the chairperson was that as long as the N didn't do her DUMP in committee meetings, she was willing to listen to whatever the N had to say. I described how the N accosted me in the parking lot and, knowing what she is doing to us as a community while trying to force me to side with her, I don't feel comfortable being around this N.
We'll have to see how things go.
Bones
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:|
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Aches and pains today.
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Hope everyone is safe today.
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Woke up at 2:00 AM and can't get back to sleep.
Dealing with another community issue, different neighbor, that might get ugly.
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Managed to sleep until 3:00 AM before waking up.
The situation with the second neighbor is still being discussed with the HOA board and property management.
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I probably should explain a bit more with what is going on with Neighbor #2, who happens to be in my building.
About a month ago, the husband stopped me in the hallway, as I was heading out, to talk to me about the condition of the common areas in the building. I was in a rush and couldn't chat long. He told me that he and his wife were looking into getting something done and having all the neighbors in the building pay for it. I told him that it's not in my budget as I'm dealing with medical issues and kept walking.
The other evening, when bf came over, he found a note stuck in my door announcing that this husband and wife had taken it upon themselves to privately hire a contractor to work in the common areas of our condominium building and that they were going to come to our doors and COLLECT CASH for their private contractor!!!!!! I read that note, read it a second time, then read it a third time and each time my reaction was: "WTF?!?!?!?"
Where I live, we are members of a condominium home owners association and we pay condo fees so that our property management can maintain all the common areas, including the common areas inside my building. It just felt SO WRONG for my upstairs neighbor to make a unilateral decision, hire a contractor on her own, then attempt to force me and other residents in the building to pay for her decision! She NEVER discussed this with us beforehand! She simply ANNOUNCED that THIS is what SHE is going to do and EVERYONE in the building NEEDS TO REIMBURSE HER WITH CASH!!!!
I contacted the president of the HOA Board and quoted the note to him. He forwarded my e-mail to the other members of the Board and also to property management. The response I got from the Board president, HOA Board and property management was unanimous. This neighbor does NOT have the authority to do what she is attempting to do! According to our By-Laws, she is REQUIRED to obtain EXPRESS WRITTEN PERMISSION from the Board to do anything in the common area of the building she lives in. Furthermore, she does NOT have the authority to demand cash from her neighbors for what she is attempting to do!
Now I'm waiting for "the other shoe to drop" the next time I see her or her husband.
Sheesh! All I want to do is be left in peace in my own home without a lot of unnecessary hassle!
Bones
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Dag! It sounds worse with your single-family-home neighbors, Guest, than at my condominium development! BTW, we also have some idiots who don't know how to LIFT the lid of the dumpster to put their garbage in! Some have been dumb enough to simply dump it on the ground WITH THEIR NAMES AND ADDRESSES STILL ON THEM!!! Then they huff and bitch when they get the warning letter, wondering HOW anyone knew it was them! DUH!!!
At one time, we had rats showing up around here and I don't want to see THAT kind of vermin returning because said-idiots don't know how to put their trash INSIDE the dumpsters!
I'll NEVER understand some people! They just don't make sense!
Bones
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If I understand the HOA Board correctly, they are going to send a notice to everyone in my building regarding the situation that had been previously discussed. So far, things have been quiet with Neighbor #2 regarding her "plans" for the building.
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Neighbors #1 and #2 have been quiet thus far. I'm still waiting to receive an official communication from the HOA to settle this week's issue.
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Quiet may be good Bones.
Neighbour sorted the stinky bag problem. Result.
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Quiet may be good Bones.
Neighbour sorted the stinky bag problem. Result.
Thanks, Guest!
I'm hoping that either the HOA Board and/or property management contacted Neighbor #2 and told her to BACK OFF!
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:|
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Had a long, exhausting, but productive day yesterday. Still have more work to do.
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Got a busy week ahead of me along with following up on the drama, from last week, with other building captains as I have recently learned that I'm not the only building captain who has had to deal with a difficult neighbor attempting to do the same thing!
Bones
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Just checking in.
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If I understand the HOA Board correctly, they are going to send a notice to everyone in my building regarding the situation that had been previously discussed. So far, things have been quiet with Neighbor #2 regarding her "plans" for the building.
Well, the other shoe dropped for Neighbor #2! She approached me, today, asking for the cash to reimburse her for the contractor she wants to hire. I explained that she cannot do that as property management already has this work on their "To-Do" list, which is what we are paying them for with our condo fees.
Her response? "But I've already collected cash from the other neighbors!"
Me: "Give it back! You can't hire a private contractor to do the work that we are already paying property management to do!"
Her response: "But we did it before!"
Me: "That was when we had a different property management who didn't give a damn except take our money and do nothing! Things have changed! The company we have now is handling the maintenance of the common areas, which is what our condo fees are paying for!"
Her response: "Well, since you're the Building Captain, you should have kept ME informed about what property management is doing!"
Me: Have you been reading the e-mail blasts that property management has been sending to ALL the residents about what they are doing, etc.?
Her response: "I don't go on e-mail that much! As Building Captain, YOU should be informing ME!"
Me: (YELLING!) "ALL RIGHT! I'LL HANDLE IT!!! I GOTTA GO!!!"
Her response: "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I can be co-captain to help you!"
Me: There's already a co-captain! That position is filled! It's been posted on the bulletin board in our building for MONTHS!
Her response: "Huh?!?!?!?!? When did that happen?"
By this point, I'm walking away in disgust! It appears she can't be bothered to read ANYTHING nor can she be bothered to attend HOA meetings so she'll be on the same page as everyone else! SHEESH!!!!!
Bones
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Met with the Committee of Building Captains this evening and shared with them what happened today. Their response was that it is NOT my responsibility to keep this one neighbor informed of everything that the HOA and property management is doing. It is that neighbor's responsibility to: (a) attend HOA meetings and (b) read the e-mail blasts and newsletters when she receives them. Otherwise I would be doing EVERYTHING FOR this one person while she takes no responsibility!
If anything, the HOA Board needs to follow up with a letter to everyone in my building explaining why it is not allowed for individual residents to hire private contractors to take care of the common areas when our condo fees are paying for the same services.
Nothing is so simple anymore! :P
Bones
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Checking in this morning.
Have to go back to the dentist for a bone graft at the implant site. :P
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I spotted the following in Annie's Mailbox, (July 13, 2011), and it raised a LOT of RED FLAGS, both as a former client of a mental health professional as well as a former counselor-trainee. When I studied ethics in graduate school, and had to write a research paper on the various Codes of Ethics of various professions, this ONE concept always stood out: "Once a client, ALWAYS a client!" There is NO two year waiting period! What was CRYSTAL CLEAR, to me, was that mental health professionals do NOT have sex with their clients NOR do they have sex with the parents/family members of their clients ESPECIALLY IF THE THERAPIST IS ALREADY MARRIED TO SOMEONE ELSE! Mental health clients and family members of mental health clients are VULNERABLE and the mental health professional is in a position of POWER! This power differential does NOT justify sex between the professional and clients/clients' family members! To me, it is the equivalent of a therapist committing rape! For any mental health therapist to bad-mouth his wife to his clients is UNHEALTHY self-disclosure and WA-A-AY INAPPROPRIATE, especially if it's a prelude to start up another illicit affair on his part!!!!!!!
What was sadder was to read the comments below this letter and saw how many did NOT understand the Codes of Ethics of mental health professionals nor the consequences that professional associations and state licensing boards can impose! It's SCARY!!!!!!!!!
Dr. G.....any comments?
Thanks!
==================================================================================
"Dear Annie: This is a cautionary tale. I was seeing a psychotherapist (let's call him "Tim") to overcome a bad phase — I was in a loveless marriage and became involved with a womanizer. During therapy, I fell in love with Tim, a married man who occasionally badmouthed his wife in front of me.
Tim told me he could not ethically date anyone until two years after her last appointment. The fact that he was married didn't seem to matter. Because I loved him, I stopped treatment so the two-year waiting period could begin. We grew closer, but were not intimate. I felt sorry for his wife because she was suffering from a grave illness and had undergone surgery. I actually told him to treat her better.
Many months later, Tim's wife divorced him. He'd been unfaithful with three other women, one of whom was the mother of a child he was counseling. I feel like such a fool. I was heartbroken to realize that my trusted counselor was himself a womanizer.
We are, of course, no longer in touch. I just want to let your readers know these things happen. — No Name, No City in USA
Dear No Name: Every profession has its bad apples. Most therapists are ethical and upstanding, and it is not uncommon for individuals to fall in love ("transference") during treatment. But it is unconscionable for a therapist to take advantage of a client who is already in a vulnerable state. If Tim hasn't been reported to his local licensing board or the American Psychotherapy Association, he should be. "
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After coming back from the dentist, I sent a follow-up e-mail to the HOA Board and property management asking them to please send something official to everyone in my building to address this issue once and for all. I really don't need the headache of a self-serving neighbor making unilateral decisions and attempting to strong-arm cash out of everyone else in the building to suit her ego! ICK!!!
Bones
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Woke up at 3:30 in the morning and can't get back to sleep. :(
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Sleep-wake cycle is still screwed up. Then idiot moronic bf wakes me up EARLY with a phone call to tell me that after SEVERAL WEEKS of "I dunno", he decides he can't be bothered with a social engagement that is scheduled for tomorrow! :x Then he has the nerve to ask me if a coupon I have is still available for HIS use! I told Idiot that I already had to use it because it was going to expire THIS WEEK! Screw him!
Regarding the drama with Neighbor #2, the HOA Board FINALLY issued an official memo to everyone in my building explaining that the cash collecting for a private contractor is NOT permitted and WHY it's not permitted. I'm hoping this drama can now fade away so I can deal with other stuff.
Urgh!
Bones
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Stitches accidentally broke. Gotta call the dentist. ICK! :P
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Spotted this in "Dear Margo" this morning, (July 16, 2011).
What's your reaction to it? (I don't think Margo HAS A CLUE!!! I KNOW WE DO!!!!!!!)
===============================================================================
"Sex, Lies, Politics ... and Kids"
"Dear Margo: I am divorcing my husband of several years, and we have young children.
A few years ago, he set up an account on a singles website and watched excessive pornography. This prompted us to go to counseling. He downplayed it, saying it was my fault. The counselor's conclusion was that my husband is a clinically defined narcissist whose needs will always come first. He is also an elected politician, so he revels in his (and my) kids being seen in public for image purposes. He started a romance with a co-worker, so I filed for divorce. What I need to know is whether a narcissist can still be a decent father. My kids' best interests need to come first. Any resources you might suggest for dealing with narcissists? — Divorcing the Narcissist
Dear Div: Why am I not surprised he's a politician? Many politicians are narcissists, or they wouldn't be politicians. As for fathering, I actually know some narcissists who are quite good fathers. Sometimes that is because the children reflect on them, but they can be good dads nonetheless. The "treatment" for this hyper-self-involvement is therapy, although, to be realistic, these people are most often impervious to treatment — in that they usually don't want it. (For this disturbance, there are no drugs, and some people so afflicted do not even see it as a problem.)
Should dealing with their dad prove hard on the kids — which may not happen — counseling would be useful; kind of a private Al-Anon for children who live with egocentrism. But kids have a way of doing OK despite the flaws of their parents. It is interesting that sex often goes with this disorder. Just recently in politics, we've witnessed it with Edwards, Ensign, Weiner, Sanford, Spitzer, Foley and Livingston. Classics, of course, are JFK, Clinton and Gingrich. — Margo, self-centeredly "
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Just checking in........
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:|
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Feeling upset about a LOT of things!
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(((((((Bones))))))
I have those days too. Things change!
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(((((((Bones))))))
I have those days too. Things change!
Thanks, Guest.
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My sleep-wake cycle is whacked out, again, which isn't helping anything!
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Had an off-the-wall situation pop up yesterday which still has me scratching my head because it felt so insanely BIZARRE!!!! :?
I was online when my land-line started ringing in rapid succession. An unknown number would pop up on my caller ID, the answering machine would kick in, the caller would hang up and then IMMEDIATELY RE-DIAL!!! When I finally picked up the phone to figure out WHAT was going on and why this caller was blowing up my phone, I discovered the caller was one of my maternal cousins who is, unfortunately, an actively practicing alcoholic. To make matters worse, she was already VERY drunk at the outset of the call! :(
Being in recovery myself, her active addiction keeps my memories green and it is a reminder of what is waiting for me should I ever pick up again. It is NOT a pleasant future! Her addiction has made her homeless and, the other day, she married another actively practicing alcoholic. :(
What made the situation so bizarre was that, at first, she talked about where she and her new husband are living now...which is not far from where I am. Then they wanted to come over to my place and USE MY SHOWER!! :shock: I instantly said "NO!" Then her new husband gets on the phone and starts demanding money because he stated that my cousin "needs help". (I'm thinking that they BOTH need help but they're not ready to hear my suggestions of going to detox and then to AA as BOTH of them were several sheets to the wind! Not a pleasant experience hearing them both slur their conversations!) I've learned, the hard way, a long time ago that when I attempt to reason with someone who is already VERY intoxicated, the only thing I'm doing is talking to the chemical, NOT the person. It wouldn't surprise me that both of them contacted me during an alcoholic black-out and that they will have NO memory of that bizarre phone call later.
Either way, my immediate response to the demand for money was another "NO!" From my perspective, giving money to an actively practicing alcoholic or actively practicing drug addict is NOT helping.....it would be ENABLING...and I have no interest in financing someone's addictions!!! Call it Tough Love. It is what it is. I can only pray she will hit bottom and be ready to accept the help she needs for the family disease that is so prevalent on NWomb-Donor's side of the family. As for her new husband, who knows?
I had to get off the phone after hearing them repeat the same comments, statements, and questions about five or six times WITHOUT THEM HEARING ANYTHING I SAID in response! When I hung up, I felt like banging my head on my desk while wailing: "WHY ME?!?!?!?!?" ARRRGGGHHHH!!!!!
Bones
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Oy Bones. Not fun.
One thing popped into my head is that with assertiveness training one learns how to calmly assert oneself. As in quietly and without upset--calmly interrupting and saying, I am not going to stay on the phone with you now because you have been drinking, so I will be hanging up now. Goodbye. [click]
All of that, you can do within about 10 seconds of first figuring out that a caller is drunk.
(I learned this by spending hours on the phone with drunks, and feeling frustrated like you, afterward. Drained, frustrated, angry, helpless, sad, stirred up, anxious, hooked, baited, maddened, etc.)
I guess we never get too old to have to keep practicing. Ugh. (I just "broke up" with an alcoholic friend because I'm still so hooked by wanting to fix it, wanting to be kind, wanting to be supportive. Finally realized I just can't do it. It's harmful to me and not helping them.)
I hear you.
Hops
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Thanks, Hops.
The really SAD thing about my cousin is that from the first moment I first met her, she has NEVER been sober! :( At one point, when I was employed at a hypothermia shelter one winter, and I was subbing for someone else, she suddenly turned up at the door as one of my clients! She was so drunk, she didn't recognize me! AWKWARD!!! Because of the ethical implications, I had to call my then-supervisor and explain the situation!
I tend to give the benefit of the doubt until I'm certain which way the conversation is going to go and then I get off the phone. (Years ago, I sent her adult son some brochures about Al-Anon. I don't know what he thought as he never responded back.) I guess part of me is hoping that she hits bottom soon and asks for help from AA. As a member of AA, I don't want to slam the door in her face as that might be the only thing that could save her life.
I guess a lot of what I'm feeling right now is wishing for the type of loving, close-knit families I've seen with my friends and mourning for what will never be.
Bones
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Still feeling out of sorts.
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I may be wrong and yet I get the impression that "cheerleader mom" is a Narcissist. If so, the court just slapped her a good one! :D
http://rivals.yahoo.com/highschool/blog/prep_rally/post/Court-kicks-out-frivolous-Title-IX-cheerleader-s?urn=highschool-wp3831
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Yesterday afternoon I received a private message, on FB, from an individual that I strongly suspect is an N. She has a track record of creating messes, lying to cover her tracks, attempting to justify lying when caught in her lies, and constantly playing "victim" when things don't go her way at all times. (Sound familiar?)
Well, she started out with her usual: "Feel sorry for me! I'm such a victim! My daughter has told me that I'm the worst mother in the world and she hates me!" (*Sarcastically to myself* "Gee! I wonder why?") I simply responded that she and her daughter are dealing with a Family Disease and some are sicker than others. Suggested that she review the 12-Steps of recovery as she often brags about "being the best walking example of the Big Book". (If she gets insulted because I inferred that SHE is sicker than others, so be it! She's been known to do that.)
I refuse to get sucked into the middle of her sick and twisted games anymore. I've got better things to do than be her NSupply. YEESH!!!! :P
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Feel like hiding from everyone today.
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Just spotted this in "Dear Margo" from Friday, July 22, 2011:
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/a-word-about-the-me-me-me-people.html
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Occasionally, I'll see some mention and/or discussion in advice columns about dealing with NPD. At the same time, it feels like the only ones who REALLY understand what it is like to deal with a N is US SURVIVORS here on this Board!
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Some days, does it feel like no one understands your situation and why you have gone NC?
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Hey Bones, I understand it, you understand it, VESMB members understand it. That's enough for me. Others, that's their problem eh? And their problems may, or may not, or may sometimes, be within our influence, if we wish. Oh that sounds a complicated sentence.
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Thanks, Guest.
I'm just feeling in a very bad mood today. Probably because of the heat and air quality sucking the energy out of me. All of the old tapes are playing full blast and it's also hitting me that if I have another medical emergency, I really have no one to depend on. They've all said: "Call me if you need help." But when I landed in the Emergency Room back in April 2010, and I attempted to contact each one of them....NONE were available because they were either "too busy", or the E.R. staff got only their voice mail and no return call, or simply no response at all.
Then the old tapes play louder and I blame myself. :P
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I know about the old tapes, Bones. Sorry that you blame yourself. I hope that this lessens. It can do. I have fragments of old tapes playing sometimes. They get a lot more muffled and irrelevant as time goes on (like someone else is playing them? if that makes sense!). (((((Bones)))))
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I know about the old tapes, Bones. Sorry that you blame yourself. I hope that this lessens. It can do. I have fragments of old tapes playing sometimes. They get a lot more muffled and irrelevant as time goes on (like someone else is playing them? if that makes sense!). (((((Bones)))))
Thanks, ((((((((((((((((Guest))))))))))))))))))))
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Another doctor appointment this morning......... :P
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Good luck at the doctor, Bones!.
And thank you for this, I enjoyed the Ali story:
A famous, though certainly appealing, narcissist was Mohammed Ali. Once, before a plane he was on took off, the flight attendant told him to fasten his seatbelt. His answer was, "Superman don't need no seat belt." The wonderful response was: "Superman don't need no airplane, either." He laughed and did as he was told.
I can just imagine, well I always did see, his charm.
And there's the rub. Narcissists can be loveable, even in the middle of their self-absorption.
I think the charm is one of the hardest things to sort out.
Hops
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Good luck at the doctor, Bones!.
And thank you for this, I enjoyed the Ali story:
A famous, though certainly appealing, narcissist was Mohammed Ali. Once, before a plane he was on took off, the flight attendant told him to fasten his seatbelt. His answer was, "Superman don't need no seat belt." The wonderful response was: "Superman don't need no airplane, either." He laughed and did as he was told.
I can just imagine, well I always did see, his charm.
And there's the rub. Narcissists can be loveable, even in the middle of their self-absorption.
I think the charm is one of the hardest things to sort out.
Hops
You're welcome, Hops!
True that!
Bones
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Just got home from the doctor's a little while ago. The good news...my asthma is still stable. The bad news...while I was waiting for my appointment, there were a group of elementary-school age children in the hospital hallway acting as if the place was a playground!!! The noise level was horrendous!!!! To make matters worse, there is a sleep-study lab on one side of the hallway and a pulmonary function lab on the other side of the hall and there was no where to get away from the noise!!! (One staff person fled the area to get away from this chaos!) I could hear the racket through the walls inside the doctor's inner office with the door shut!!!!! :P Where was the parent? Elsewhere and she wasn't even a patient herself!!!!! DAMN!
Bones
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:|
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This appeared in "Dear Abby" on Wednesday, July 27, 2011.
What are your thoughts? What would you do if confronted with a similar situation?
Is this mean person an N?
===================================================================================
DEAR ABBY: There's a venomous old woman who roams through our neighborhood looking for victims to embarrass, humiliate or annoy. She told a neighbor's 11-year-old granddaughter she looked like a slut because she was wearing shorts currently in fashion for the young. She habitually cuts in front of people in line at the supermarket, puts 25 items on the 15-item service line, etc.
A new neighbor thought she should be treated with a little kindness. She had her opportunity recently when we were out to breakfast at a restaurant. The harridan sat alone (her husband refuses to be seen in public with her), and my friend commented to her on the beautiful day. Her response? "Don't waste my time with meaningless inanities!" She then proceeded to abuse the server by repeatedly sending her plate back, each time becoming more unpleasant. The girl ended up in tears.
At that point, my friend walked over and said quietly, "I hope you don't think your advanced age justifies your meanness." The witch accused my friend of "slandering" her and left vowing never to return. This elicited a round of applause from the customers and staff.
Why do some people go through life behaving so outrageously? How can she derive satisfaction from being so hateful? -- PUZZLED IN SAN DIEGO
DEAR PUZZLED: Ruling out the idea that the person you have described may be mentally disturbed, it's possible she may be so unhappy in her personal life that she's trying to make herself feel better by abusing others. She's a sad case. I'd like to think that when the other diners applauded, it was directed in support of your friend rather than at the disagreeable woman as she left the restaurant.
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Hey Bones... people can act like flaming Ns (and do) without truly being one.
IMO, this lady sounds like she's very afraid, hurt, isolated and paranoid that people will always think the worst of her... so she's become defensive, in a very aggressive fashion. Chances are, she isolated herself and doesn't even realize that she's created her own misery. Confused, she's like a dog that's been tortured and abused - she bites first and asks questions later. That's how she now relates to the world she's in... sad, isn't it?
My mom can be like that sometimes.... when she's not full-on in victim-martyr mode. Talk about wanting to become invisible! (me that is) She was even evil to the doctors and nurses who brought her back from the brink of kidney failure/death. Makes one wonder what is so frightening and threatening about being a nice and reasonable person, doesn't it?
Did you ever decide on a new art project yet? I'm about to have company next week - 3 artists - and I'm rather looking forward to some silly, wild & crazy ideas and expressive free-for-all. It'll be a great antidote to all the financial crap I've been focussed on for a few months now.
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Hey Bones... people can act like flaming Ns (and do) without truly being one.
IMO, this lady sounds like she's very afraid, hurt, isolated and paranoid that people will always think the worst of her... so she's become defensive, in a very aggressive fashion. Chances are, she isolated herself and doesn't even realize that she's created her own misery. Confused, she's like a dog that's been tortured and abused - she bites first and asks questions later. That's how she now relates to the world she's in... sad, isn't it?
My mom can be like that sometimes.... when she's not full-on in victim-martyr mode. Talk about wanting to become invisible! (me that is) She was even evil to the doctors and nurses who brought her back from the brink of kidney failure/death. Makes one wonder what is so frightening and threatening about being a nice and reasonable person, doesn't it?
Did you ever decide on a new art project yet? I'm about to have company next week - 3 artists - and I'm rather looking forward to some silly, wild & crazy ideas and expressive free-for-all. It'll be a great antidote to all the financial crap I've been focussed on for a few months now.
Thanks, P.R. That's a lot to think about.
I haven't decided on a new art project yet. I've been dealing with other community issues and haven't had the time or energy to be creative. For now, I guess I have to wait and see what develops.
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Bones
For now, I guess I have to wait and see what develops.
when in doubt, do nothing. Often a very good strategy. Unless being chased by hungry lion. Doesn't happen that often in this here neighbourhood :D
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Bones
For now, I guess I have to wait and see what develops.
when in doubt, do nothing. Often a very good strategy. Unless being chased by hungry lion. Doesn't happen that often in this here neighbourhood :D
Thanks, Guest!
:D
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Just checking in............
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Just got another private message, on FB, from an N where she started to try and crank up her old BS of the old messages that basically say: "I'm such a victim! My daughter is so evil! Feel sorry for me!!! Side with me against her!!! How dare she defy me!", and on and on and on, etc. :P
Knowing how she would often brag about being "the best walking example of the Big Book", I asked her, point blank, what the Big Book says about trying to control other people's behaviors. I'll probably get total silence after that. AHHHH BLISS!!!!!!
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Practicing boundaries is so hard. Why is it so difficult? Is it because I'm an Aspie, a Survivor of an N, or a combination of the two?
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Checking in........
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Not in a good mood today and feeling frustrated/overwhelmed about everything. I've stated to face-to-face 3D people that I don't like feeling isolated, especially if I have another medical emergency again, and it feels like no one takes that possibility seriously because everyone is SO BUSY!!! I feel so invisible in 3D!
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I just spotted this about a football player discussing his recent diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder. Does this mean there is hope?
http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/blog/shutdown_corner/post/Brandon-Marshall-on-diagnosis-8216-I-8217-ll?urn=nfl-wp4276
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I'm sorry you're feeling isolated, ((((Bones))) --
I wish you could find a support group you'd see every week...
xo
Hops
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I'm sorry you're feeling isolated, ((((Bones))) --
I wish you could find a support group you'd see every week...
xo
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
I wish there were a face-to-face 3D support group for Survivors of Narcissists where I live.
Bones
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Checking in.......
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Last night was National Night Out and I found myself in an uncomfortable situation. Normally, I would be part of a group of people setting up and maybe, MAYBE saying a word here or there. (I'm not comfortable with public speaking without some sort of script. Stage acting I can do, talking extemporaneously in front of a group of people is W-A-A-A-Y outside of my comfort zone and I often find myself, literally, chewing on my fingers in front of people to calm myself down. Part of being an Aspie, I guess.)
This year, of the four of us that were originally planning to lead last night, two had deaths in the family and were unavailable. I was the only one physically able to carry the refreshments over and start setting up as the only other remaining person is partially paralyzed and is unable to lift anything nor walk very far. Every time I opened my mouth, I kept wondering to myself if I was really saying the right things or just looking stupid. (All the old tapes were blaring LOUDLY and are hard to ignore.)
Even though things seem to have gone OK, I keep blaming myself that it wasn't any better than it was and that it's my fault. :P
Bones
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So things went okay and you did more than you normally would?
Well done Bones!
The vast majority of people aren't happy public speaking. Some people throw up beforehand. Some can't stop shaking. Those that are unaffected by nerves are a bit weird! :lol: Like anything it gets better with practice. And always remember, unlike our FOOs, when you're in public, nobody wants you to fail. They want you to succeed.You did good! :D
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So things went okay and you did more than you normally would?
Well done Bones!
The vast majority of people aren't happy public speaking. Some people throw up beforehand. Some can't stop shaking. Those that are unaffected by nerves are a bit weird! :lol: Like anything it gets better with practice. And always remember, unlike our FOOs, when you're in public, nobody wants you to fail. They want you to succeed.You did good! :D
Thanks, Guest.
It's hard to ignore the old tapes at times.
Bones
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Hey Bones, I know what you mean... I could stand up in front of a classroom of people and talk forever, without notes - no problem. But add a stage and an "audience"... and I freaked out. Then, I remembered the 5th grade Christmas play... I was the narrator... and had easily memorized my parts and the cues. For some reason, this was the only school event that my mother attended (I didn't know she was going to be there)... and I remember her presence absolutely shattering my confidence and knowing that if I stammered, tripped over a pronunciation, or didn't stand up military straight... I'd never hear the end of it. My teachers didn't catch on right away, either...
Essentially, she frightened me silent on stage... every speakers worst nightmare.
I'm sure everything you said, was just fine. And it sounds as if you held up well in the absence of the others, too. You don't have to beat yourself up with worry, just because everything went smoothly!! ;)
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Hey Bones, I know what you mean... I could stand up in front of a classroom of people and talk forever, without notes - no problem. But add a stage and an "audience"... and I freaked out. Then, I remembered the 5th grade Christmas play... I was the narrator... and had easily memorized my parts and the cues. For some reason, this was the only school event that my mother attended (I didn't know she was going to be there)... and I remember her presence absolutely shattering my confidence and knowing that if I stammered, tripped over a pronunciation, or didn't stand up military straight... I'd never hear the end of it. My teachers didn't catch on right away, either...
Essentially, she frightened me silent on stage... every speakers worst nightmare.
I'm sure everything you said, was just fine. And it sounds as if you held up well in the absence of the others, too. You don't have to beat yourself up with worry, just because everything went smoothly!! ;)
Thanks, PR.
I hate the scars that N's have inflicted us with!!
Bones
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While I was sitting in another doctor's office this morning, I spotted this quote in Scientific American:
"Psychopathy, like autism, and many clinical disorders is a spectrum...Many of us are narcissistic, many of us are impulsive at some level. Many of us do all sorts of things that are at least somewhat morally wrong. We're somewhere on the spectrum." This was stated by Harvard University evolutionary psychologist Marc Hauser, speaking at a July 2010 conference on "The New Science of Morality".
I noticed, with interest, the following sentence below the quote:
"Harvard later said it had found him guilty of scientific misconduct."
:!: :!: :!: :!: :!: :!: :!:
This guy sounds like a Psychopathic Narcissist who's attempting to justify his scientific misconduct!!!!!!
GEEZ!!!!!!
The thought scares me that there are, possibly, other professionals out there that think the way he does!!! :shock:
Bones
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Feeling out of sorts today. :P
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Just checking in.
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Checking in.....couldn't sleep.
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Hi Bones,
I've never done it, but sorely tempted, but I heard that Aldous Huxley and maybe his wife too used to get a shower then wrap themselves in a sheet without drying off, climbing in bed and it induced sleep. Wouldn't it be a hoot if it worked?
They did some pretty weird things during their lives, so consider the source?
tt
Who knows?
Showers tend to wake me up even more.
Bones
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I've observed something that I'm not quite sure how to analyze it.
This time of year, Seasonal Affective Disorder starts to hit me REALLY HARD because the days are getting shorter. I try to get outside, into sunlight, as much as possible but it doesn't always help. Yesterday was one such opportunity where I did some work in two of the three community gardens near my home and still felt VERY DEPRESSED after I got home and put my harvest away. I felt so drained that I went to bed at 7:30 PM and stayed there until about 4:00 AM this morning.
I woke up, still feeling depressed and, yes, I was having suicidal thoughts and suicidal ideation. (There's been a history of suicides in my family so I know I'm at risk.) Then I started snacking on what I picked out of the community gardens the day before....mainly different varieties of tomatoes, (I don't know what the variety names are), and, after several hours, I felt my depressed mood start to lift. Could the garden-fresh vegetables be a factor in changing my mood?
Bones
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((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))
If you're feeling suicidal you need to also tell someone in 3-D...
you must do that.
You deserve more help than tomatoes (but I'm glad they helped).
Okay?
love to you,
Hops
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((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))
If you're feeling suicidal you need to also tell someone in 3-D...
you must do that.
You deserve more help than tomatoes (but I'm glad they helped).
Okay?
love to you,
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
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Bones - the tomatos really could've helped! They are like round glowing juicy globes of well-being... from the sensual experience of munching into one... and the actual nutritional content (Vit C, Lycopene)... to the fact that this was your own harvest: you planned, planted, weeded & watered, and the tomato is the "fruit" of your investment of nurturing the plants... and in return, eating one is the tomato returning the favor... nurturing you.
At least, that's how I see growing veggies and herbs...
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Bones - the tomatoes really could've helped! They are like round glowing juicy globes of well-being... from the sensual experience of munching into one... and the actual nutritional content (Vit C, Lycopene)... to the fact that this was your own harvest: you planned, planted, weeded & watered, and the tomato is the "fruit" of your investment of nurturing the plants... and in return, eating one is the tomato returning the favor... nurturing you.
At least, that's how I see growing veggies and herbs...
Thanks, P.R.
That makes sense! I think the fresher they are, the more nutrition is packed into them. That's probably why they are better than store-bought.
Bones
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Which reminds me that I will need to start checking the garden across the street more frequently now that I'm seeing more tomatoes coming in. They're about the size of my fist and still green but will probably start to ripen very soon.
One thing that got triggered while working in the Community Garden with others was being reminded, inadvertently, of how much I STILL DON'T KNOW regarding the preparation of different vegetables. One person insisted I take a huge grocery bag of the Chard harvest, another wanted to give me a batch of freshly-harvested pumpkins and I felt embarrassed about admitting to anyone that I had NO idea what to do with them! I kept having flashbacks to my childhood, trying to teach myself how to cook, using old cookbooks that I found around the house and having the crap beaten out of me for "messing up HER kitchen"! When my Dad was alive, he used to have a vegetable garden in the backyard. I found pictures of him puttering among the plants. Guess who would prepare the harvest? NOT NWomb-Donor! That kind of work was BENEATH HER! As soon as Dad died, that vegetable garden was one of the first things to go! She didn't want to be bothered with it. After that, we rarely had fresh vegetables if it required any kind of preparation. Her concept of "cooking" was opening a tin can and dumping the contents into a pot and then cooking it down to NASTY mush! :P
I HATE NOT KNOWING HOW TO DO SIMPLE COOKING WITH A VARIETY OF FRESH FRUITS AND VEGGIES! I HATE FEELING SO STUPID!!!!
Bones
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You're NOT stupid, Bones!
Lord, be nicer to yourself.
And how about that wonderful YouTube? Tune into some Food Network, or Cookin' Cheap shows, they're great helps.
You could find a lot of JOY in learning this! It's no difference than learning crochet.
xo
Hops
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You're NOT stupid, Bones!
Lord, be nicer to yourself.
And how about that wonderful YouTube? Tune into some Food Network, or Cookin' Cheap shows, they're great helps.
You could find a lot of JOY in learning this! It's no difference than learning crochet.
xo
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
I know I need to stop beating myself up. Lord know, NWomb-Donor did A LOT of that to me growing up!
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I wish there were face-to-face 3-D resources in my geographic area for Survivors of N's.
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Struggling with a business-related decision that I have to make and it's tying my stomach up in knots!
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Bones, I wonder if a whole lot of different types of support groups might still provide company and strength to you, even if it isn't single-topic (survivors of pareNts).
Such as:
ACOA
Co-DA
Disability support groups
Women's center groups
Therapy groups
etc.
I have been thinking of you and hope those very painful thoughts have lifted...
Sending peace,
Hops
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Bones, I wonder if a whole lot of different types of support groups might still provide company and strength to you, even if it isn't single-topic (survivors of pareNts).
Such as:
ACOA
Co-DA
Disability support groups
Women's center groups
Therapy groups
etc.
I have been thinking of you and hope those very painful thoughts have lifted...
Sending peace,
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
I had attended a Disability Support group for a couple of years but I got frustrated with the "textbook knowledge-only" approach of the facilitator. When I asked a question about where to find additional financial resources when struggling to pay the bills, she came back with stuff she printed from the Internet on "How to Talk to Your Baby-Boomer Children"! I AM A BABY-BOOMER WHO DOES NOT HAVE CHILDREN! I could have searched and found that article, on my own, at home, if THAT was what I needed. IT DID NOT HELP THE SITUATION I AM STRUGGLING WITH! Unfortunately, the facilitator is, essentially, a kid in her early 20's, just completed graduate school, is ABLE-BODIED, and doesn't understand what it is like to LIVE IN THIS SITUATION! All she knows is what she learned from textbooks. I finally got tired of wasting my gas, wasting my time, and wasting my breath when I WAS NOT HAVING MY VOICE HEARD!
Bones
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I recall a previous thread conversation regarding how N's react to the word "No". Last night, I think I encountered an N for a neighbor.
As some of you may be aware, I live in a condominium development where the building doors are kept locked at all times. Many of these doors have been damaged, repeatedly, because certain individuals persist in propping them open. As a result, we all have to pay for repeated repairs out of our condo fees...which is NOT fun! There have been numerous e-mails sent out to the community, as well as multiple reminders during homeowners' meetings to PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE do NOT prop open the building doors because of the damage it causes to the mechanisms.
In spite of all that, last night, as I was heading out to a building captains meeting, I caught one of my upstairs neighbors in the act of propping the door open! I tried to politely explain that this causes damage to the door that we end up paying for. He immediately got NASTY and started yelling that propping the door open will NEVER damage it and how DARE I say ANYTHING to HIM about it!!!!! :shock: Gawd, he just got obnoxiously STUPID!!!! (I'm thinking: "That's all right, brother! You'll learn the hard way now that I know about you and your attitude regarding the common areas of our community!") I felt I followed the proper protocols by bringing it to the attention of the other building captains in case they encounter the same thing and I also reported it to property management. Within a few hours of informing property management, a notice was posted on the door reminding people to NOT prop the door open or they will be charged for repairing the damage!
Now it remains to be seen if that obnoxious neighbor takes this seriously or continues the stupidity he demonstrated last night......
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Can't sleep.....
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Checking in......
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I feel so confused. When I was taking a walk around my community, one of my neighbors, (from another building), commented that she had not seen me at the pool everyday. I commented that I hadn't been feeling that great off and on but I do go for a swim occasionally. I also told her about a community pool party that is coming up at the end of the month and would she like to come. She reacted as if I had made the most DISGUSTING suggestion! WTF?!?!?!?!? :?
Bones
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:?
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Struggling with a business-related decision that I have to make and it's tying my stomach up in knots!
Bones, it helps me a LOT to talk these kinds of decisions out with enough people, that I start to see the whole picture, surrounding the specifics of the decision. It doesn't lower the real risk involved in the decision, but it lets me see how many more variables are out there, that I realize the world won't end, if I choose wrong on this one thing. It lowers my anxiety over deciding.
I think CoNs have a really hard time with "big decisions"... because when we should've been encouraged to decide things for ourselves, make our own educational mistakes and recover... instead we were constantly told what do/be/do/be/dooo.
I'll be glad to be a sounding board for ya (to the best of my ability) and walk through the what-if scenarios of a decision, if ya want.
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Struggling with a business-related decision that I have to make and it's tying my stomach up in knots!
Bones, it helps me a LOT to talk these kinds of decisions out with enough people, that I start to see the whole picture, surrounding the specifics of the decision. It doesn't lower the real risk involved in the decision, but it lets me see how many more variables are out there, that I realize the world won't end, if I choose wrong on this one thing. It lowers my anxiety over deciding.
I think CoNs have a really hard time with "big decisions"... because when we should've been encouraged to decide things for ourselves, make our own educational mistakes and recover... instead we were constantly told what do/be/do/be/dooo.
I'll be glad to be a sounding board for ya (to the best of my ability) and walk through the what-if scenarios of a decision, if ya want.
Thanks, P.R.!
And to add to being constantly told what to do/be......etc., when we did go ahead and make ANY kind of independent decision, the reaction of the Narcissistic Rage-aholic was to grab whatever object was within reach and BEAT THE CRAP out of whoever DARED DEFY HER!
With this one particular business decision, I was able to resolve it by taking the proverbial "bull by the horns" and posing the difficult questions to my client. My client and I were able to work out a solution. (At the same time, the "Old Tapes" were BLASTING LOUDLY, which are hard to ignore.)
I'm glad you volunteered to be a sounding board as I'm sure other business decisions will be coming up from time to time.
Bones
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I know I'll be able to listen, suggest a few things... not sure I'll have any brilliant "answers"...
and I do know when (and sometimes where) to go looking for expert help.
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I know I'll be able to listen, suggest a few things... not sure I'll have any brilliant "answers"...
and I do know when (and sometimes where) to go looking for expert help.
Thanks, P.R.!
Bones
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In fighting "The Old Tapes", I have started thinking about what I have managed to accomplish in spite of NWomb-Donor. I'm afraid it sounds Narcissistic on my part while trying to list what I've done that should remind me that I AM NOT a "pile of useless, retarded dogsh*t who is only good enough to be a whore"!
I need to remind myself:
1) Completed my Associates of Arts and Sciences and got on the Dean's List.
2) Completed my Bachelor's and graduated Summa Cum Laude.
3) Completed my Master's, flew to another state and marched across the stage.
4) Performed in Constitution Hall, in Washington, D.C. with other performers, including Pat Boone and Dean Jones, in the production "If My People".
5) Had a walk-on in the episode: "Hear No Evil" of "A Man Called Hawk" with Avery Brooks.
6) Had some of my artwork on display in the Smithsonian's Museum of Natural History in Washington, D.C.
7) Was invited to exhibit my artwork in my own community.
I'm telling NWomb-Donor, where-ever that Crazy Bat is, "I am NOT a worthless retard NOR am I a whore! I've accomplished things IN SPITE OF YOUR BULLSHIT!!!!!! YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS BAT-SHIT CRAZY!!!! F*** YOU AND F**** OFF!!!!!!!!"
Do I sound sane yet?
Bones
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Pretty much Bones! :D
Me: I'm telling NWomb-Donor, where-ever that Crazy Bat is
- not sure I care any more where she is.....so long as it's not next door to me. :P
Impressive list. 8) Congratulate yourself!
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YES that's quite a list and HOOO-AHHHHHH!
I hope you reflect a whole whole whole lot more on your inherent worth and dignity...
Bones, you don't have to earn it or defend it any more.
It's just yours.
xo
Hops
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Pretty much Bones! :D
Me: I'm telling NWomb-Donor, where-ever that Crazy Bat is
- not sure I care any more where she is.....so long as it's not next door to me. :P
Impressive list. 8) Congratulate yourself!
Thanks, Freshwatet!
I believe that the Bat-sh*t Crazy NWomb-Donor is burning and rotting in HELL...where she belongs!!!!!
Bones
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YES that's quite a list and HOOO-AHHHHHH!
I hope you reflect a whole whole whole lot more on your inherent worth and dignity...
Bones, you don't have to earn it or defend it any more.
It's just yours.
xo
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
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Maybe if you can gently turn your thoughts AWAY from her and back to your own inherent value...AWAY from her, back to you, AWAY from her...
New groove.
xo
Hops
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Bones, that IS an impressive list... thanks for sharing it - and no I don't think it's N of you (at all)... because I need just that kind of reminder, from time to time as an antidote to the same kind of old tapes. Lists like this expose the desperate lies in the crap we heard, that hurt us.
Hops is right; N-wombdonors feed off of our attention... no matter where they are... and one of the more advanced steps in the "cure" is to stop thinking about them... what awful things they've done to us... and to breathe in those lists of accomplishments and be damn grateful that we are NOT like the N-wombdonors of the world and that we survived the "worst" they could throw at us.
And then start adding to the list...
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Maybe if you can gently turn your thoughts AWAY from her and back to your own inherent value...AWAY from her, back to you, AWAY from her...
New groove.
xo
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
Bones
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Bones, that IS an impressive list... thanks for sharing it - and no I don't think it's N of you (at all)... because I need just that kind of reminder, from time to time as an antidote to the same kind of old tapes. Lists like this expose the desperate lies in the crap we heard, that hurt us.
Hops is right; N-wombdonors feed off of our attention... no matter where they are... and one of the more advanced steps in the "cure" is to stop thinking about them... what awful things they've done to us... and to breathe in those lists of accomplishments and be damn grateful that we are NOT like the N-wombdonors of the world and that we survived the "worst" they could throw at us.
And then start adding to the list...
Thanks, P.R.
I try to be open to new experiences that can also help others. Sometimes it's scary.
Bones
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Doing something scary......a position on the HOA Board has opened up and I applied for it. I may not be accepted. Just applying for it is scary.
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Well, we'll be here for ya Bones... supporting you, celebrating with you (if accepted) and consoling you (if not).
I've kinda come to believe that this is the thing that was my greatest "loss"... because of who/what my parents were. And I think this is where the fear comes from, too... because whether I did well or not - either way I was smart enough to fear the reaction from my mom, that was simply a given in my reality.
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Well, we'll be here for ya Bones... supporting you, celebrating with you (if accepted) and consoling you (if not).
I've kinda come to believe that this is the thing that was my greatest "loss"... because of who/what my parents were. And I think this is where the fear comes from, too... because whether I did well or not - either way I was smart enough to fear the reaction from my mom, that was simply a given in my reality.
Thanks, P.R. PTSD can be a real B*tch!!!!!
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Just checking in.
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The first letter sounds like the family is dealing with an N! It sounds FAMILIAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/sil-lies-like-a-dog.html
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Just checking in for now.
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Looks like we're the only ones up and online, Bones! :)
I'm about to dive out, tho' - have a few things to do "out" today and some housework, I've been plugging away at. It's time I started moving, too. My butts sore!! hee-hee!!!
Hope you have a pleasant day today.
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Looks like we're the only ones up and online, Bones! :)
I'm about to dive out, tho' - have a few things to do "out" today and some housework, I've been plugging away at. It's time I started moving, too. My butts sore!! hee-hee!!!
Hope you have a pleasant day today.
Thanks, P.R.
I have to go out and start doing errands after 9:00 AM my time, so I'm trying to catch up on online stuff before I head outdoors.
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I think this has been posted before but I'm not sure.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201106/how-spot-narcissist
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Was this more telling than I thought at the time (and why should I remember it so clearly, and specifically, over the last few days: rhetorical)...this happened quite a few years ago...we were talking about people who have defective personalities (neither of us knew much about the subject). She said to me, there are people whose personalities are so fragile that it's like a wall full of holes, and they have to keep plugging up the holes, all the time, to keep themselves going: and as she was describing this in detail, she turned away from me and demonstrated the wall, which was higher than her, and her hands plugged up the holes, quickly, a hole at the top, one in the middle, one in the bottom and repeating itself, her hands moving around the imaginary wall, showing how the holes keep appearing and you have to keep plugging them up, all the time. As she spoke her eyes stayed on the wall, she didn't look at me until she stopped and turned back to me, to tell me, that's how they are. I remembered this so clearly in an instant and told my H who was pretty astonished. I bet you know what I'm talking about too, Bones. In retrospect, it was a very interesting, if pathetic and educational event. My memory's ability to tell me things at certain times is also interesting!
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Was this more telling than I thought at the time (and why should I remember it so clearly, and specifically, over the last few days: rhetorical)...this happened quite a few years ago...we were talking about people who have defective personalities (neither of us knew much about the subject). She said to me, there are people whose personalities are so fragile that it's like a wall full of holes, and they have to keep plugging up the holes, all the time, to keep themselves going: and as she was describing this in detail, she turned away from me and demonstrated the wall, which was higher than her, and her hands plugged up the holes, quickly, a hole at the top, one in the middle, one in the bottom and repeating itself, her hands moving around the imaginary wall, showing how the holes keep appearing and you have to keep plugging them up, all the time. As she spoke her eyes stayed on the wall, she didn't look at me until she stopped and turned back to me, to tell me, that's how they are. I remembered this so clearly in an instant and told my H who was pretty astonished. I bet you know what I'm talking about too, Bones. In retrospect, it was a very interesting, if pathetic and educational event. My memory's ability to tell me things at certain times is also interesting!
Thanks, Freshwater.
I was trying to visualize the scene as you described it. It appears that they are so focused on plugging up the holes in their own psyche that they are incapable of noticing anything, or anyone else, around them.
Also, to add my observation to the Psychology Today article....I felt it did not go far enough. I wish it had discussed the children who are born to these Narcissists and how dealing with a Narcissistic Womb-Donor/Sperm-Donor impacts the next generation.
Bones
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One of my passions, that I'm working on building a home-based business on, is genealogy. The following link gave me a LOT of surprises on so many levels!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :shock:
http://www.suite101.com/content/president-barack-obamas-french-ancestry-a292687
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Checking in........
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I wish it had discussed the children who are born to these Narcissists and how dealing with a Narcissistic Womb-Donor/Sperm-Donor impacts the next generation.
Ya know Bones, we are a slightly special case... us children of wackos. It's like being raised by wolves when one is a plump juicy chicken, isn't it?
But it DOES get better; we get better. I think you might be like me - getting better is the BEST revenge. It's also like a vaccination against ever being so affected by it, in the future. It still sucks, mind you, to have to deal with an N... but it no longer throws ya for such a loop that it takes years to recover.
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Thanks for that article, Bones.
It was good to read something that went beyond the DSM-IV "checklist of behaviors".
Good one.
Hope you have a good day.
xo
Hops
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I wish it had discussed the children who are born to these Narcissists and how dealing with a Narcissistic Womb-Donor/Sperm-Donor impacts the next generation.
Ya know Bones, we are a slightly special case... us children of wackos. It's like being raised by wolves when one is a plump juicy chicken, isn't it?
But it DOES get better; we get better. I think you might be like me - getting better is the BEST revenge. It's also like a vaccination against ever being so affected by it, in the future. It still sucks, mind you, to have to deal with an N... but it no longer throws ya for such a loop that it takes years to recover.
Thanks, P.R.
Yes, We know, all too well, what it's like and what it takes to recover. I was looking at this from the perspective of educating others who don't have a clue and hassle us about WHY we don't do "thus-and-such", (e.g. "get over it", "do what the N demands", "respect the N because they birthed you", etc. etc. ad nauseum).
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Thanks for that article, Bones.
It was good to read something that went beyond the DSM-IV "checklist of behaviors".
Good one.
Hope you have a good day.
xo
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
Personally, I hope they KEEP NPD in the next version of the DSM. We need for it to STAY there so it would give US a VOICE!
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Thanks for your reply Bones, and yes, they're incapable.
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Thanks for your reply Bones, and yes, they're incapable.
You're welcome.
To add to my earlier comments, I think they are so incapable of noticing anything amiss that when you bring an issue to their attention, e.g. not hearing what you just said, all you would get would be a glassy-eyed blank stare and/or denial that any such thing occurred.
As you may be aware, I often read the advice columns and the first letter in today's Annie's Mailbox was from a letter writer whose daughter is LC with her. The letter writer couldn't understand why her daughter treats her this way. (A LOT of detail was left out of the letter.) I couldn't help but think to myself, if you are a suspected boundary-violating N, that would be EXACTLY WHY she's gone LC but you still won't notice that she has said 'NO' to your nonsense several times which left her no choice! However, the commenters below the letters didn't really get the possibility of the letter writer being an invasive Nparent.
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Yes I've seen that Bones. Sometimes too I have said things three consecutive times to this person before she actually heard them - simple things, not emotionally-charged.
The idea of someone saying: why is x doing this to me? instead of: why is x avoiding me, is there a problem they have, are they okay? ..... says it all really. The Beatles knew it with She's Leaving Home.
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Yes I've seen that Bones. Sometimes too I have said things three consecutive times to this person before she actually heard them - simple things, not emotionally-charged.
The idea of someone saying: why is x doing this to me? instead of: why is x avoiding me, is there a problem they have, are they okay? ..... says it all really. The Beatles knew it with She's Leaving Home.
I remember that song!
Sometimes, even saying three consecutive times doesn't always get through. One example involved a now-ex-friend who insisted on turning up, UNINVITED, and parking her car in my neighbor's RESERVED space or in the Fire Lane! I kept telling her that my neighbors don't like this and to please STOP! The last time I spoke to her face to face, I got REALLY PISSED OFF because, as usual, she IGNORED EVERYTHING I HAD SAID and attempted to FORCE me to do what SHE wanted AND IMPOSING ON MY NEIGHBORS AT THE SAME TIME!
I had been hit with the Flu and developed Asthmatic Bronchitis on top of it. I was contagious and was following doctor's orders to remain in bed and push fluids. This now-ex-friend calls me to ANNOUNCE she's coming over! (Doesn't even bother to ask if this is a good time to visit or not!) I told her, POINT BLANK, do NOT come over here! I have the Flu, plus Bronchitis, I'm contagious and I do NOT want to expose others to this and then have you, in turn, expose your 90+year old mother to this. She shows up at the front door of my condominium anyway, calls me through the intercom and DEMANDS that I get out of bed and come to the door of the building!!! I buzzed her in and told her to get her a$$ downstairs to my door as I had a bone to pick with her.
I bluntly told her that she is ONLY to come, when and IF she is invited! IF she is invited, she WILL park in the designated Visitor Area! Her response was to complain that the Visitor Parking was INCONVENIENT! I gave her a FINAL warning that if she turns up again, UNINVITED, and parks in either a Reserved space or a Fire Lane, my neighbors can and WILL call the police, plus the tow truck, and have her car ticketed and towed!
Did she listen? NO! She announced that she would simply have her mother in the car so that they wouldn't DARE touch her car! :shock: I announced I would call Adult Protective Services on her lead a$$ and told her to leave! I terminated the friendship because I finally had ENOUGH!
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Wow Bones, what a Nut!
Well done with your final threat, fantastic :D
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Wow Bones, what a Nut!
Well done with your final threat, fantastic :D
Thanks Freshwater!
I realize now she was definitely a NUTCASE who believed everything must revolve around HER! Sheesh!
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Bones, where was your "early warning system" when you let her be a friend in the first place?
Oh well, we all make mistakes - me included. Somewhere I ran across an idea I like, about a way to think about our social interactions that's helped me a lot. I tended to be so starved for attention and lonely, that I didn't use any criteria whatsoever about people I let myself get involved with. I would overshare, or be a clam, I just got it all wrong - mostly in doormat mode. I got involved with people I should've stayed far, far away from. This image really got me to think about "organizing" myself in connection with other people in my life.
You, yourself are at the center of your "inner circle". The only people who get into the inner circle are those you know you can trust, who are as protective of you as you are of them, the people who are mutually supportive with you. For me, this is my Ds (although one has only recently been invited in; long story)... my hubs... his brother & SIL... a handful of old friends that I've kept in touch with... hubs' D and her family. Even a few of you people here. This is the circle of people that can tell me I'm an idiot and why, and we can even get mad at each other - make up & get over it - and go on.
That circle is inside another circle - further away from you and less intimate. These are people I do business with and rely on; there is a pretty high level of trust here also. It includes people I see socially on a regular basis - some are family, neighbors, etc.
Next circle out, might be acquaintances... people I see infrequently, don't do much with, or our paths simply don't cross much. They don't know much more than facts about me - they don't know "me", in other words.
Etc. I know, this sounds overly formal and people interactions just aren't always like that. But, because of my confusion over boundaries... and the mis-impression or misunderstanding I had about how we are always supposed to be the "same person" with everyone... I never learned that it was OK for me to be one person to business associates, someone else to my hubs/Ds, someone else yet again with myself... it's like having different wardrobes - my 3 piece menswear tailored suits are for certain situations, my funky artsy hippie stuff for relaxed social events, and I tend to wear my jammies till noon now unless I have an appointment - just because I want to and I CAN. The "real me" shows through all those different roles and wardrobes... and is how I am expressed in functionally different situations.
Each circle is like a boundary and has appropriate levels of trust and sharing, involvement, etc. And of course, I design what those are for each circle. Sometimes, people get bumped from a closer circle, out to the fringes depending on their behavior. Sometimes, they choose to go there themselves - that's fine; it's part of how this all works. Anyway, I thought I'd share the idea because when one is building a "safe" inner circle... this is kinda the concept behind it.
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Bones, where was your "early warning system" when you let her be a friend in the first place?
Oh well, we all make mistakes - me included. Somewhere I ran across an idea I like, about a way to think about our social interactions that's helped me a lot. I tended to be so starved for attention and lonely, that I didn't use any criteria whatsoever about people I let myself get involved with. I would overshare, or be a clam, I just got it all wrong - mostly in doormat mode. I got involved with people I should've stayed far, far away from. This image really got me to think about "organizing" myself in connection with other people in my life.
You, yourself are at the center of your "inner circle". The only people who get into the inner circle are those you know you can trust, who are as protective of you as you are of them, the people who are mutually supportive with you. For me, this is my Ds (although one has only recently been invited in; long story)... my hubs... his brother & SIL... a handful of old friends that I've kept in touch with... hubs' D and her family. Even a few of you people here. This is the circle of people that can tell me I'm an idiot and why, and we can even get mad at each other - make up & get over it - and go on.
That circle is inside another circle - further away from you and less intimate. These are people I do business with and rely on; there is a pretty high level of trust here also. It includes people I see socially on a regular basis - some are family, neighbors, etc.
Next circle out, might be acquaintances... people I see infrequently, don't do much with, or our paths simply don't cross much. They don't know much more than facts about me - they don't know "me", in other words.
Etc. I know, this sounds overly formal and people interactions just aren't always like that. But, because of my confusion over boundaries... and the mis-impression or misunderstanding I had about how we are always supposed to be the "same person" with everyone... I never learned that it was OK for me to be one person to business associates, someone else to my hubs/Ds, someone else yet again with myself... it's like having different wardrobes - my 3 piece menswear tailored suits are for certain situations, my funky artsy hippie stuff for relaxed social events, and I tend to wear my jammies till noon now unless I have an appointment - just because I want to and I CAN. The "real me" shows through all those different roles and wardrobes... and is how I am expressed in functionally different situations.
Each circle is like a boundary and has appropriate levels of trust and sharing, involvement, etc. And of course, I design what those are for each circle. Sometimes, people get bumped from a closer circle, out to the fringes depending on their behavior. Sometimes, they choose to go there themselves - that's fine; it's part of how this all works. Anyway, I thought I'd share the idea because when one is building a "safe" inner circle... this is kinda the concept behind it.
Morning, P.R.
Point of clarification:
This now-ex-friend was someone I first met, and befriended, when I was only 15 years old and starting my first year in high school. At the age of 15, I knew NOTHING about Narcissistic Personality Disorder and I was still trapped in a hell-hole at my house-of-origin, (notice that I cannot call it a home as it was NEVER a home for me. I was NEVER welcome there.) At 15, I was still trying to figure out where I belonged and had no answers.
Bones
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AH... yes... thanks! Sorry I didn't know that part.
I too, have people like that who show up in my life, from time to time... back from the time when I lived inside a brown paper bag over my head & stumbled around looking for answers to questions I hadn't even asked yet. Mostly I don't respond to them - and they don't know where I live. These days, there would be no reason for me to "know" them... and just because I did, doesn't mean I even remember any of what went on, when I was who I was, back then.
Life changes and so do a lot of the people in the circles; the inner circle stays the most stable - enduring relationships.
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AH... yes... thanks! Sorry I didn't know that part.
I too, have people like that who show up in my life, from time to time... back from the time when I lived inside a brown paper bag over my head & stumbled around looking for answers to questions I hadn't even asked yet. Mostly I don't respond to them - and they don't know where I live. These days, there would be no reason for me to "know" them... and just because I did, doesn't mean I even remember any of what went on, when I was who I was, back then.
Life changes and so do a lot of the people in the circles; the inner circle stays the most stable - enduring relationships.
Thanks, P.R.!
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Just got home a little while ago after dealing with many things all day.
Will talk later......
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While I was out, I got a call last night from a neighbor about an injured cottontail rabbit that was only a baby. I have no special training in treating wildlife injuries and tried to find resources when I got home at midnight. Unfortunately, I was unsuccessful and the baby bunny died. :(
Bones
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awww.... poor bunny!
I tried to hand feed one with an eyedropper once... cow's milk just is wrong for bunnies, I think.
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awww.... poor bunny!
I tried to hand feed one with an eyedropper once... cow's milk just is wrong for bunnies, I think.
I think they need bunny milk and, unfortunately, I had none. :(
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Well - you cared, Bones and you tried. Every time we do that, some of the ugly in life is cancelled out.
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Well - you cared, Bones and you tried. Every time we do that, some of the ugly in life is cancelled out.
Thanks, P.R.
I wasn't in a good mood when I got home last night as I lost my cool at an N.
I belong to a Star Trek Fan Club and, unfortunately, we have an N for a club captain. We were attempting to have a club meeting last night to discuss plans for attending conventions, what is in the club budget, and so forth and, at every turn, the club captain kept turning things around to talk about himself. What should have been a one-hour meeting to take care of club business dragged into THREE HOURS and he STILL kept talking about HIMSELF! Finally, two of us, myself and the club officer taking the meeting minutes spoke up and said: "Look, we need to move this meeting along. We started at 7:00 PM and it is now 10:00 PM! He got pissed off and snaps: "WHAT IS IT ABOUT 10:00?!?!?!? IF YOU DON'T WANT TO STAY, YOU CAN JUST LEAVE!!" I started shouting that there are those of us who have been busy ALL DAY, IT'S LATE, AND WE. ARE. TIRED!!!! There are also young children here and it is WA-A-A-Y PAST THEIR BEDTIME! The officer taking the minutes also shouted: "And there are those of us who CAN'T LEAVE!!!! As you may have forgotten, this meeting is being hosted AT MY HOUSE!!!! My PARENTS are also HERE and THIS MEETING IS KEEPING THEM UP!"
All we got in reply was the usual Glassy-eyed Blank Stare! If there hadn't been children nearby, I probably would have gone upside his thick skull!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!
Bones
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Bones, your post made my day (and to qualify that, I've been reading a Snopes 'comments received' thread, but it was your post that broke me up).
Hope you have a good day today. 8)
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Bones, your post made my day (and to qualify that, I've been reading a Snopes 'comments received' thread, but it was your post that broke me up).
Hope you have a good day today. 8)
Thanks, Freshwater!
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Checking in.........
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Spotted this just this morning:
http://www.linkedin.com/share?viewLink=&sid=s536381954&url=http%3A%2F%2Ft.co%2FPpK6Act&urlhash=8ylV&uid=5510391062113288193&trk=EML_nus_share-F2
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Narcissists are brewed in families where feelings are denied, projected and not dealt with.
The children are not attended to emotionally. Maybe they are given lots of goodies, play every sport imaginable and always wear designer labels. And, some were just plain ignored. In both cases their feelings were not important. "A child too, can never grasp the fact that the same mother who cooks so well, is so concerned about his cough, and helps so kindly with his homework, in some circumstance has no more feeling than a wall of his hidden inner world." Alice Miller. If a child does not learn to identify feelings and have those feelings validated and acknowledged, that child does not learn to trust him or herself. If someone cannot tune into their own feelings and learn to responsibly process those feelings, how can they have empathy for others?
Hey Bones...
This to me, sounds like "You might be a narcissist IF..."
But it's not a given that even under those circumstances, a person becomes an N. I actually ran across this explanation of how N develops elsewhere and it kept me up nights worrying about myself - because ALL those conditions apply to my experience. I don't THINK I'm an N... because one of my problems is that I've been too "other-oriented", and too willing to "throw myself under the bus" for others. And I've been teased and made fun of all my life for being too empathetic and sympathetic to others... and not allowed to be angry about the teasing, either.
I wonder what you think about this? Every(any)one else?
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Narcissists are brewed in families where feelings are denied, projected and not dealt with.
The children are not attended to emotionally. Maybe they are given lots of goodies, play every sport imaginable and always wear designer labels. And, some were just plain ignored. In both cases their feelings were not important. "A child too, can never grasp the fact that the same mother who cooks so well, is so concerned about his cough, and helps so kindly with his homework, in some circumstance has no more feeling than a wall of his hidden inner world." Alice Miller. If a child does not learn to identify feelings and have those feelings validated and acknowledged, that child does not learn to trust him or herself. If someone cannot tune into their own feelings and learn to responsibly process those feelings, how can they have empathy for others?
Hey Bones...
This to me, sounds like "You might be a narcissist IF..."
But it's not a given that even under those circumstances, a person becomes an N. I actually ran across this explanation of how N develops elsewhere and it kept me up nights worrying about myself - because ALL those conditions apply to my experience. I don't THINK I'm an N... because one of my problems is that I've been too "other-oriented", and too willing to "throw myself under the bus" for others. And I've been teased and made fun of all my life for being too empathetic and sympathetic to others... and not allowed to be angry about the teasing, either.
I wonder what you think about this? Every(any)one else?
Question: The people who tease you about being too empathetic and sympathetic to others tell you that you are NOT allowed to be angry about THEIR teasing? They sound like the N's to me.
I have to read that article again and explore the links before I can comment any further about it.
Bones
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Here's a link to a survey.
http://www.willieverbegoodenough.com/survey.php
The traits described could apply not only to the female parental unit; it can also apply to others that we have encountered.
Bones
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Why didn't we become Ns, why did they become Ns?
Both suffer similar privations very early on. I don't know if this is anywhere near but it seems to me that one major difference is what we - and they - did with shame. We took it right in and developed toxic shame; we were bad. They rejected all shaming and project it outwards; it's the external world that's wrong, not me. They remain the centre of the universe, with needs that can never be filled; we are too aware of others for our own health and need to carve our own space. I guess we became adept at meeting others' needs while they were trapped never getting over wanting everything to fill them. We have our own N traits and anyone can monitor their own. They can't do that because they don't have anything else to compare with. I have no idea why I'm writing this. I guess maybe I thought someone wanted to know what I think. Would that be N? Or just reading the signs and following the roadmap.
Hope that contributes PR.
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Why didn't we become Ns, why did they become Ns?
Both suffer similar privations very early on. I don't know if this is anywhere near but it seems to me that one major difference is what we - and they - did with shame. We took it right in and developed toxic shame; we were bad. They rejected all shaming and project it outwards; it's the external world that's wrong, not me. They remain the centre of the universe, with needs that can never be filled; we are too aware of others for our own health and need to carve our own space. I guess we became adept at meeting others' needs while they were trapped never getting over wanting everything to fill them. We have our own N traits and anyone can monitor their own. They can't do that because they don't have anything else to compare with. I have no idea why I'm writing this. I guess maybe I thought someone wanted to know what I think. Would that be N? Or just reading the signs and following the roadmap.
Hope that contributes PR.
Thanks, Freshwater.
Having studied psychology, I do have a few theories about why they became NPD's and we didn't.
I tend to view human behaviors on a spectrum. Each of us do have a little bit of Narcissism in us. It's called HEALTHY Narcissism as it's part of our survival mechanism. To get a bit Freudian....there's the Id, Ego, and Super-Ego: http://psychology.about.com/od/theoriesofpersonality/a/personalityelem.htm; with us, the Super-Ego acts as sort of a gate-keeper...keeping things in check so that our Id's and Ego's don't run buck-wild.
However, with the NPD's, there is no "gate-keeper" in control to keep their behaviors in check. I believe that they are on the Sociopathic/Psychopathic Spectrum. Their Id's are out of control, their Ego's are VERY AWARE of the reality of what they are doing BUT THEY JUST DON'T CARE! I think the only thing that stops them from committing murder, like Ted Bundy, is that they are VERY AWARE of the legal consequences of criminal activity. Unfortunately, there are those on the far end of that spectrum that managed to initially get away with murder but, sooner or later, they will do something incredibly stupid and the law WILL catch up with them! That is small solace to the survivors of their victims.
Why do some people become NPD's or Psychopaths/Sociopaths could involve either physical brain damage somewhere along the way and/or brain chemical imbalances. The one frontier, here at home, that is still VERY UNKNOWN, is the functions and physiology of the human brain.
I think I'll step down from the soap-box for now.
Bones
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Freshwater - my experience tells me that you are absolutely right. What Ns & non-Ns do with shame are polar opposites.
Like Bones, I think there is some major brain difference involved, too. These people are just DIFFERENT in a fundamental way.
I guess I'm still trying to find that range of "healthy N" for myself, and am not terribly confident I know where it is, so when I read that paragraph I reacted to what I read as being the "explanation" for how someone becomes N. Perhaps there is no definable range; perhaps it's a situational call... moment by moment.
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Freshwater - my experience tells me that you are absolutely right. What Ns & non-Ns do with shame are polar opposites.
Like Bones, I think there is some major brain difference involved, too. These people are just DIFFERENT in a fundamental way.
I guess I'm still trying to find that range of "healthy N" for myself, and am not terribly confident I know where it is, so when I read that paragraph I reacted to what I read as being the "explanation" for how someone becomes N. Perhaps there is no definable range; perhaps it's a situational call... moment by moment.
Unfortunately, we seem to be able to recognize when someone is an N by the pain and chaos they cause.
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Just checking in while dealing with a FRUSTRATING MESS! I'll discuss it later when I've figured out what I have to do to address it.
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And the earthquake, on top of it all, didn't help matters any!
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One thing I came to realize....there's NOTHING like an earthquake to bring the N's out of the woodwork like cockroaches!!!!
As a result of the earthquake in the D.C. Metro area yesterday, there was quite a bit of damage in my condominium community, including several busted water heaters that sent mini-Niagara Falls into the units below!! :P Property Management contacted the plumber to come and do what he could as quickly as he could. In the meantime, the affected buildings had to have their water shut off until the affected units could be addressed. My building was one of those affected because a unit, two floors above me on the opposite side, has a ruptured water heater and the result damaged the two units directly below it. To complicate matters, the owner was NOT home, which necessitated calling in the locksmith to do a forced entry. Therefore, the water to the entire building had to be shut off until Property Management could gain access to the unit, via the locksmith, and get the plumber inside to deal with the water heater.
Given that my building was one of many, and there was only one locksmith and one plumber going from building to building...I had to wait my turn, along with my neighbors. I'm also the building captain so I was trying to deal with the situation the best I could. One neighbor kept banging on my door, DEMANDING to know EXACTLY WHEN the water was going to be turned back on. I lost count as to how many times I kept giving him the same facts as I described above. His whole attitude boiled down to: "WHY DO I HAVE TO WAIT?!?!?!? I'M ENTITLED TO MY WATER NOW!"
Sheesh!!!!!!! :P
Bones
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Just checking in while dealing with a FRUSTRATING MESS! I'll discuss it later when I've figured out what I have to do to address it.
This mess involves a HUGE tv that measures 31 inches by 25 inches by 30 inches shoved into a corner space that can barely fit. It also blocks my doors to my porch and leaves NO room to maneuver! Did I ask for a HUGE television? HELL NO!!! Male Idiot Doofus got this WITHOUT discussing it with me because it was what HE wanted and he ASSUMED I would like it!!!! Now he can't understand why I'm telling him to GET IT OUT OF HERE!!!! It weighs a TON, I can't move it, it's ANALOG and I have NO WAY to hook up a converter box, antenna, or my DVD player to it!!
What infuriates me is that when he first started making hints about this, I kept asking detailed questions that HE WOULD NOT ANSWER! At first, he thought he was being funny. He quickly found out that this is NOT a joke to me!
F***ing Jackass!!!!! :evil:
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Hi Bones,
If it's a flat screen tell doofus to hire a professional to mount it on your wall. It saves space, looks great, they can hook up your dvd, ect and even hide the wires..but it cost $$$$.
Deb
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Hi Bones,
If it's a flat screen tell doofus to hire a professional to mount it on your wall. It saves space, looks great, they can hook up your dvd, ect and even hide the wires..but it cost $$$$.
Deb
Unfortunately, it is NOT a flat screen but one of those HUGE BULKY BOXES, which WEIGHS A TON, that cannot be mounted on a wall! I HATE it when people make decisions FOR me WITHOUT TALKING TO ME!!!! :evil:
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Ugh,! Oh I hear ya. I think it's a man thing for one found it's way to my house (around football season one year). It took up so much space and blocked my windows on one side of the living room.
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Ugh,! Oh I hear ya. I think it's a man thing for one found it's way to my house (around football season one year). It took up so much space and blocked my windows on one side of the living room.
Yep! It's definitely a man-toy! One that I don't want, don't need, and can't use! I'm trying to DE-clutter after several years of depression and stuff piling up and now THIS! UGH!!!!
Bones
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If it's YOUR space, TELL him you want it gone by ________ or you'll demonstrate your prowess with a hammer! :twisted:
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If it's YOUR space, TELL him you want it gone by ________ or you'll demonstrate your prowess with a hammer! :twisted:
It is MY space, MY mortgage and I'm prepared to lower the hammer on HIM! :twisted:
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Doesn't help to smash the TV cuz guess who would be stuck cleaning up the mess? I think it would be more effective on HIM instead of inanimate object! :twisted:
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Hi Bones,
He sure assumed a lot about your private space...I would have trouble with that too.
But it occurred to me (just playing debbil's advocate)...do you think there's any chance he thought he was giving you a nice present?
xo
Hops
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Hi Bones,
He sure assumed a lot about your private space...I would have trouble with that too.
But it occurred to me (just playing debbil's advocate)...do you think there's any chance he thought he was giving you a nice present?
xo
Hops
Maybe in his mind, he was. He didn't think to discuss anything and, as a result, it created more complications and clutter!
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Bones, hun...
that hammer idea was a practical suggestion: if it's in pieces, it'll be easier for you to remove it to the dumpster, right? Just unplug it first! LOL...
But Hops' question makes sense. Guys in particular (not all of them!), who use TV as their brain-relaxation, do not understand how irritating it can be to others who aren't so dependent on the box for this. Hubs doesn't understand why I'm outside reading all the time... because he's immune to the emotional pollution that comes from it; the force, false YOU NEED TO CARE ABOUT THIS message that's blared all the time from different programs. It drives me up a wall... I'm going to get headphones: for ME.
Change of Topic:
Bones, I'm not sure which suburb you're living in but I want to make sure you're aware that Irene's path is going to impact DC, Baltimore, and north... probably the worst will be storm surge. I'm hoping you live on a second floor, your building's on a hill and you have survived through the 96 blizzard there - plan on doing the same, this go round - just in case. You have 48 hours, till the storm will be there - maybe a little longer; she seems to be slowing down a bit. My fingers crossed that y'all will have power at least. Is there anyone in your building or HOA that you can buddy-up with -- to check on each other or call on for help, if needed?
I'm starting just that kind of group today, in our development.
BE SAFE this weekend, Bones... bigger problem than the TV; it can wait.
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Bones, hun...
that hammer idea was a practical suggestion: if it's in pieces, it'll be easier for you to remove it to the dumpster, right? Just unplug it first! LOL...
But Hops' question makes sense. Guys in particular (not all of them!), who use TV as their brain-relaxation, do not understand how irritating it can be to others who aren't so dependent on the box for this. Hubs doesn't understand why I'm outside reading all the time... because he's immune to the emotional pollution that comes from it; the force, false YOU NEED TO CARE ABOUT THIS message that's blared all the time from different programs. It drives me up a wall... I'm going to get headphones: for ME.
Change of Topic:
Bones, I'm not sure which suburb you're living in but I want to make sure you're aware that Irene's path is going to impact DC, Baltimore, and north... probably the worst will be storm surge. I'm hoping you live on a second floor, your building's on a hill and you have survived through the 96 blizzard there - plan on doing the same, this go round - just in case. You have 48 hours, till the storm will be there - maybe a little longer; she seems to be slowing down a bit. My fingers crossed that y'all will have power at least. Is there anyone in your building or HOA that you can buddy-up with -- to check on each other or call on for help, if needed?
I'm starting just that kind of group today, in our development.
BE SAFE this weekend, Bones... bigger problem than the TV; it can wait.
Thanks, P.R.
Regarding Topic #1, I don't want to clean up HIS mess! I have enough to deal with already with my own!
Regarding Topic #2 - Hurricane Irene, Unfortunately, I am in the D.C. Metro area, where the earthquake rolled through the other day, and I'm on the ground floor. I'm already in touch with other CERT members trying to prepare and trying to set up emergency communications among my neighbors within my building as I'm the only CERT member who lives in my development. NOT EASY! Not all of my neighbors take any emergency seriously unless it inconveniences them NOW!
Bones
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My Weatherbug icon was blinking when I logged on this morning. Where I'm at is now under a Tropical Storm WARNING! UGH!!! :P
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Bones:
my house/neighborhood are ground zero on the track through the outer banks. Actually passes 3-4 houses just north of us, but the eye is large. The good news this morning, is that Irene is losing strength, and while y'all might see some intensifying over the 24-30 hrs of storm... it's not going to be as strong as it was initially advertised. The rain is supposed to start at noon today, so I can't stay & chat - a few more things to do outside...
We are about as far from the ocean as one can be in the OBX. So I will be back, and probably hanging out online... as long as we have cable & power... during the storm, too.
Any questions about preps, clean up, or keeping folks safe - let me know. I've created a network of contacts among my neighbors here... and will be helping out as much as I can here. Veterans of past storms tell me to set freezer and fridges to the maximum cold setting 12 hours before the storm - and then, keep the door closed as much as possible while the power's out. Really - it's not much different than what we do for blizzards - a tub full of water to flush toilets & wash with (new tip I heard was to caulk the drain with silicone to help hold the water...), lanterns, charcoal grills, generators (we bought a portable one for Isabelle when we still in the mountains west of you)... etc.
Gotta run - hang on tight and BLOW EAST.... :D
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Bones:
my house/neighborhood are ground zero on the track through the outer banks. Actually passes 3-4 houses just north of us, but the eye is large. The good news this morning, is that Irene is losing strength, and while y'all might see some intensifying over the 24-30 hrs of storm... it's not going to be as strong as it was initially advertised. The rain is supposed to start at noon today, so I can't stay & chat - a few more things to do outside...
We are about as far from the ocean as one can be in the OBX. So I will be back, and probably hanging out online... as long as we have cable & power... during the storm, too.
Any questions about preps, clean up, or keeping folks safe - let me know. I've created a network of contacts among my neighbors here... and will be helping out as much as I can here. Veterans of past storms tell me to set freezer and fridges to the maximum cold setting 12 hours before the storm - and then, keep the door closed as much as possible while the power's out. Really - it's not much different than what we do for blizzards - a tub full of water to flush toilets & wash with (new tip I heard was to caulk the drain with silicone to help hold the water...), lanterns, charcoal grills, generators (we bought a portable one for Isabelle when we still in the mountains west of you)... etc.
Gotta run - hang on tight and BLOW EAST.... :D
Thanks, P.R.!
I've prepared the best I can in the condo development where I live. The question is convincing my neighbors that they should, at least, stock up on shelf-stable food just in case! One neighbor INSISTS that we won't be affected in any way, shape or form! (Unfortunately, this is the SAME neighbor who kept banging on my door the other day DEMANDING WHEN the water was going to be turned back on! When we lost electricity about a year ago, he woke me up in the middle of the night, hollering that he wanted his electricity NOW!!!!) I just don't like feeling I'm babysitting ADULTS in the midst of an emergency!
Bones
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I understand how you feel.
When I was tech support - we finally adopted a not-nice phrase to let stuff like this go:
you can't fix stupid.
I mean, you're not the power company, now are you????
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I understand how you feel.
When I was tech support - we finally adopted a not-nice phrase to let stuff like this go:
you can't fix stupid.
I mean, you're not the power company, now are you????
EXACTLY!!!!! Thanks, P.R.!!!!!!
Bones
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I've done the best I can to prepare for Hurricane Irene. The worst part is the waiting. Checked with my neighbors regarding their safety and learned that some others STILL have done NOTHING to get ready for what may happen. One admitted that he only had a 1/2 bag of chips in the house and is "just too tired to bother with anything else"! Other neighbors just laughed and refused to believe anything bad could happen. One stated she was ready WITH CANDLES!! I begged her to PLEASE use a flashlight INSTEAD of candles as we don't need additional disasters, (ESPECIALLY since I live in the same building! Self-preservation, anyone?) She kept insisting she "would monitor the candles". (Yeah, right! Where have I heard THAT before?) :P She's also a renter and has previously demonstrated that she doesn't care about property she does not own so I have NO basis to trust her!
My anxiety is climbing.
Why do I have this feeling that as soon as the @#$% hits the fan, these same neighbors will be pounding on my door DEMANDING that the water and electricity be restored IMMEDIATELY and screaming about having no food or water emergency supplies! (I'm a building captain, NOT a magician!!!!) :x
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Bones:
the good news is that the storm is moving faster and has just shifted a tad more east again. Makes landfall between Beaufort & Hatteras... headed straight up the Pamlico sound... predicted to shift east again just south of me in Kill Devil Hills... which means DC & B'more will be further west of the storm center. You'll still have high winds and a push of water up the potomac & chesapeake - just not as bad.
I couldn't sleep; we had tornado warnings - one MORE thing to worry about. The center of the storm is still about 100 miles south of me - and really, where I live - it's been more like a strong thunderstorm (so far). I expect the worst will be here by noon or just before. I feel lots better since the coffee & a shot of Jamesons... and since it's finally daylight. Absolutely all is well here.
GLOW STICKS are the easiest and safest light. Altho' I have to say I'm now really fond of the tiny LED pocket lantern we picked up at a discount store - real bright light. Hmmm. That gust sounded like it was more than the 35 mph we've had up till now. Yep; our anamometer clocked just under 40. We still have power, cable, etc. Down south toward Hatteras... I don't know. Someone from Frisco posted this a.m. on the local board, so if there are outages - it's not widespread at all.
Down to a cat 1; but they are saying don't let your guard down regarding storm surge. TWC in Nags Head, said NC 12 is still open - so there hasn't even been much overwash of the dunes on the beach rd - which I would normally expect. But, they keep reminding us... we've got a full day of this with stronger wind ahead of us. It'll probably be very early Sun. A.M. before you start to notice anything. The storm is that BIG... thankfully not as strong as originally predicted. That gives the procrastinators extra time to get it together.
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UPDATE:
OK - NC 12 now has overwash at (at least) 3 places between Nags Head and the usual spots in Kitty Hawk. The S curves at Rodanthe have been breached - power is out to a lot of webcams... power reported out on Ocracoke and feared out in Hatteras.
It's definitely working it's way north faster than expected, Bones! We now have sustained 40 mph winds with stronger gusts. The overnight stuff was just the warm up...
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Bones - I'm going offline. Lights are starting to flicker; cables getting iffy and the wind keeps picking up.
Be back when things stablize.
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Thanks, P.R.
Stay safe!
After what I experienced with Hurricane Agnes, I assume nothing and take nothing for granted! As far as I know, this storm could still decide to change course and move westward toward us. One never knows! Been there, done that!
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Just learned some sad piece of news, even though the individual involved is an N. She was a passenger in a car a few months ago when someone slammed into them. She suffered a concussion and it has wiped a LOT of her memory! She's in her mid-80's and an accident like that is not good! Even though she is an N, no one deserves that!
Bones
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I communicated with her son to get as much updates as possible. As strange as it may be, I do care about her health and well-being given that she just turned 84 the other day. During my communication with the son, he had me cracking up laughing!
We talked about the mixed feelings we both have about her being alone where she is while he and I live several states away, several hours by plane-travel. He commented that she is impossible to live with due to her head-strong ideas, being stubborn, and bad temper flares from her whenever anyone disagrees with her. (Sound familiar?????) The next comment he said had me falling out of my chair laughing: "If she would just get on good prescription meds and get mellow, I could consider having her live with us." :lol: :lol:
Oh boy!!!! How well I understand THAT!!!!!!!
Bones
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My Internet connection is fluctuating so I can't be certain how long I'll be able to stay online.
Read this in today's advice column:
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20110828
Bones
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Taking things one day at a time.
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Just got home from a dentist's appointment and I am thoroughly fed-up and disgusted with the office staff that simply WILL NOT LISTEN!!!! They informed me that they don't want to deal with my dental insurance anymore, (that I'm paying for out of pocket), and wanted me to come up with $400.00 immediately!!! I told them, I DON'T HAVE THAT! I am a RETIREE on a FIXED PENSION! Their response? "Well, give us $200 NOW!" What part of RETIREE do they NOT understand?!?!? I had to repeat...AGAIN....I AM A RETIREE ON A FIXED PENSION! I CANNOT GIVE YOU WHAT I DO NOT HAVE!!! "Their response? "We will CANCEL your next appointment if you don't give us this amount of money NOW!" I told them, FINE!!! CANCEL IT!!!
I left!
I'm SO SICK OF THIS CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! F***ing A$$hole$!!!!!
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:x
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(((((((((Bones)))))))))
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(((((((((Bones)))))))))
Thanks, Freshwater.
Now I have to go to the doctor, this morning, so I can get prescriptions refilled. I am NOT looking forward to that because I'm tired of dealing with the front office staff that are virtually a bunch of teenagers who have NO clue what Work Ethic/Customer Relations mean! :P
They screwed up the last appointment I was supposed to have and wanted to reschedule it in the MIDDLE of the Christmas Crazies!!!! I told them "NO" and I would be back when I was ready! I half-way expect the doctor to scold me as if I'm a disobedient child and I'm ready to remind him that I'm prepared to sever all ties with this doctor's practice and find another doctor closer to where I live. (I've been going to this particular family practice's office for over 30 years until my original physician had to retire when she contracted Multiple Sclerosis.) These doctors seem to forget that their patients are actually their EMPLOYERS! Without patients, they wouldn't have a job! Treat an adult patient like a child or a piece of property and I walk! I'm done with nonsense!
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The good news: the appointment went better than I expected and I watched the doctor e-mail my prescriptions to the pharmacy near my home. I need to schedule another bone scan before my next appointment in November, which would include a physical, (not so much fun).
The bad news: I get to the pharmacy where my refills had been e-mailed to and..........they have NO record of having ANYTHING for me!!!! I had to haggle with them for several minutes just to get my Actonel as I'm scheduled to take it first thing tomorrow morning! :P
This is NUTS!
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Doing a lot of thinking this morning after finishing reading a book called "Thunder Dog", a first-person account of a survivor of 9/11. The survivor happened to be blind due to prematurity. He described the many different attitudes he has encountered during his lifetime, regarding his physical challenge. Some of the attitudes of temporarily-abled-bodied people are laughable, some annoying, and others were down-right infuriating! Reading about these different situations helped me put a finger on why the support group, I used to attend, finally plucked my last nerve.....the facilitator, a kid fresh out of graduate school with NO LIFE EXPERIENCE of living with a physical/mental challenge, NEVER really HEARD anything that was said and was VERY patronizing/condescending as if we were all children! (We were all old enough to be her parents/grandparents!) She is temporarily-abled-bodied so she has NO CLUE what it is like to be born with a physical/mental challenge e.g. Asperger's, blindness, Spina Bifida, brain damage, etc.
That kind of attitude just ANNOYS me!!!! :P
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Oh, but Bones... let your imagination run wild for a minute!
Imagine a novel about someone like that, who has an accident - or an undetected predisposition to something like MS... and then has to deal with it in their own life. Heck, I know! How about a series of short stories that shows the DIFFERENT ways people deal with it and their differing attitudes?
I don't think it would be rude for you, in those situations, to remind the clueless person that just because you have challenges, doesn't mean you're stupid. I remember a student of mine in a wheelchair - god forbid anyone would hold a door for him! Such a tongue lashing would be delivered about how he didn't need any help, the poor person would be left in shock. Hubs used to slide chairs in his way, to watch him dodge them - it was their game - and hubs usually lost.
Attitudes are becoming more "enlightened" - but you know there will always be people who live under rocks... or have their own "challenges" about thinking about what it would be like to be in someone else's shoes.
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Oh, but Bones... let your imagination run wild for a minute!
Imagine a novel about someone like that, who has an accident - or an undetected predisposition to something like MS... and then has to deal with it in their own life. Heck, I know! How about a series of short stories that shows the DIFFERENT ways people deal with it and their differing attitudes?
I don't think it would be rude for you, in those situations, to remind the clueless person that just because you have challenges, doesn't mean you're stupid. I remember a student of mine in a wheelchair - god forbid anyone would hold a door for him! Such a tongue lashing would be delivered about how he didn't need any help, the poor person would be left in shock. Hubs used to slide chairs in his way, to watch him dodge them - it was their game - and hubs usually lost.
Attitudes are becoming more "enlightened" - but you know there will always be people who live under rocks... or have their own "challenges" about thinking about what it would be like to be in someone else's shoes.
Thanks, P.R.
It's the Idiots Under the Rocks that REALLY pluck my LAST nerve! Especially when they don't care to listen and learn!
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I know Bones. It's half of this and half of the other. I don't communicate all that well when I'm in meltdown (and who's to know that except me?) and we're allllllllllllllll only human. We're all, ahem, screwed up in some way I guess.
I've known plenty of professionals who couldn't do their job - doctors, lawyers, property surveyors - and I haven't mentioned bankers, investment advisors or fund managers! Nobody's perfect. Everyone can have their attention elsewhere, on whatever they think is important, you know? Shit happens. :|
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Shit happens and, at the same time, discrimination is NOT cool!
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Woke up at 2:30 in the morning and can't get back to sleep.
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Man, that happened to me as Irene started rolling through (tornado & unknowns anxiety). It SUCKS. Are you able to take a nap? I usually can't sleep during the day... no matter how tired I am.
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Man, that happened to me as Irene started rolling through (tornado & unknowns anxiety). It SUCKS. Are you able to take a nap? I usually can't sleep during the day... no matter how tired I am.
There's too much noise around, during the day, to allow me to nap. Not sure what to do at this point.
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Just checking in. Sleep isn't much better.
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:|
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Hope you get some deep rest tonight, Bones...
Hops
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Hope you get some deep rest tonight, Bones...
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
Had an interesting experience yesterday.
A group of friends, and I, went out to dinner and to also work on some creative writing. We had been planning this for several days and had agreed to meet at the restaurant at 4:00 PM. Five of us showed up, on time, hungry and ready to eat. One of the five got a phone call, on her cell phone, from the brother of the N, informing us that the N was STILL IN BED and wanted us to WAIT for the N's arrival before going in and getting seated. (The N has a history of this.) We informed the N's brother that we're here, on time, we're going into the restaurant and we'll see him and his Nbrother whenever they arrive....end of conversation.
Needless to say, the N and his brother arrived in the MIDDLE of dinner and, of course, the N was PEEVED that we DARED to REFUSE TO WAIT FOR HIM! We ignored his comments and continued to eat along with the conversations we were having before he walked in. Throughout the evening's activity of creative writing, the N kept trying to change the topic to HIMSELF, HIMSELF, HIMSELF, and HIMSELF. Only one other guy would respond to him. The rest of us simply ignored the N and focused on the task at hand.
There's more to this N's issues that I'll discuss at another time. I need to start getting ready to head out for some planned Labor Day activities with others. (Trying to stay out of trouble! :))
Bones
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The rest of us simply ignored the N and focused on the task at hand.
Keep doing this, Bones... and LOL!!! I'll bet you a buck, this guy moves on to another group... with tales of how nasty & unfair you were to him, of course.
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The rest of us simply ignored the N and focused on the task at hand.
Keep doing this, Bones... and LOL!!! I'll bet you a buck, this guy moves on to another group... with tales of how nasty & unfair you were to him, of course.
We wish! We feel sorry for his brother because he's related to this N! URGH!!!!
A bit of good news related to the Labor Day activities today......I was with a group of CERT members marching in the Labor Day Parade and our group won First Runner Up and CERT was awarded $100!!!! Not bad for the first time this group has done this! :D
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To continue regarding the N and the brother we feel sorry for.......the brother is busy, trying to have a life of his own, and the N has attempted to lay numerous guilt trips on him because he's not readily available to take care of HIM! The N even demanded that the brother pay for his cable TV! The response he got was simple: "You want cable TV? Get a job and pay for it yourself!" Of course, the N did NOT like that answer!
Bones
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Temporarily Able-Bodied People can be so DAMN stupid and insensitive! I say YAY for this runner for putting the idiot in his place!
Angry Pistorius cuts short interview
Double-amputee runner Oscar Pistorius cut short a BBC radio interview Tuesday after he was asked whether he could be viewed as an "inconvenient embarrassment" to track and field officials for competing in able-bodied competitions.
The South African 400-meter specialist took part in the world championships in Daegu, South Korea, and hopes to run in next year's London Olympics.
Pistorius was asked on BBC's "Today" program whether he might be considered an "inconvenient embarrassment to South African authorities and the IAAF because, effectively, you're taking them into uncharted ethical waters."
"I think that's an insult to me and I think this interview is over," Pistorius responded.
The interviewer said the question was not intended as an "insult" but Pistorius replied: "That is an insult. Thank you very much."
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Spotted this last letter in Annie's Mailbox this morning! I've encountered ding-bats like this who are as bat-shit crazy as this Momster-in-Law! Sheesh!!!!!!
Dear Annie: This is the other side of "Numb in Nevada," whose daughter-in-law cut them off from seeing the grandchild.
My husband and his mother were very close. To honor that bond, I allowed her into the delivery room for the birth of our son. She repaid me for that kindness by taking photos without permission, and now there are digital pictures of me in labor floating around the Internet.
When I came home from the hospital, she proceeded to criticize my housekeeping, insisted that my older children stay with a relative for another week and, despite the fact that I was breastfeeding, repeatedly tried to bottle feed the baby. I agreed to a baptism to make her happy, and she got into a fight with my mother and told her to leave.
Since she lived six hours away, we allowed my mother-in-law to stay with us frequently. I ignored her criticisms of my appearance, my children's clothes, their behavior and my views on childrearing. I continued to be polite and respectful. I had to take antianxiety medication to make it through those weekends.
Now, I'm divorced, and the most enduring benefit is that I never, ever have to deal with her again. — It's Not Always the Daughter-in-Law's Fault
Dear Not Always: You sound like you made every effort to be kind and respectful toward a real barracuda. We salute you.
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Amy Alkon, another advice columnist, is weighing in on Narcissism:
http://www.creators.com/advice/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/guru-interrupted.html
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Chilling but good one, Bones.
Ow.
xo
Hops
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Chilling but good one, Bones.
Ow.
xo
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
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Why can't some people respect the word "NO"?
Within the past 24 to 48 hours, I have been receiving e-mails from a neighbor asking me if I could do thus-and-such, TONIGHT, (Thursday, September 8th). The first time I got the request, I told him, "No, I have a meeting that I'm already committed to." The e-mails have evolved into thinly-veiled guilt trips to which I have repeated, "No, I CANNOT do what you want as I am already booked. There are important issues that are being discussed at my meeting and I HAVE TO BE THERE!" He doesn't seem to get it that waiting until the last minute to spring stuff on people doesn't always work. He may have succeeded with others and now it appears he is befuddled because I won't fall in line, like the others, and do what he wants. :roll:
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Just got a different e-mail from an N-Supply of an N asking me about "important papers" that were supposedly left with me OVER THIRTY YEARS AGO! WTF?!?!? I know my response back to the N-Supply was very snippy, if not bitchy, because after 30+years of the N's bullsh*t, I WAS DONE!
The N left her crap behind since April 30, 1980! In 1999, I gave the N TWO MONTHS notice that I was moving and to make arrangements to get her stuff! She chose, instead, to attempt to RAM orders down my throat to forfeit my condominium deposit and cancel my move! She didn't bother to respond when I told her that I was NOT cancelling my move. I've been living in my condo since 1999 and NOW she claims she left important papers with me?!?!?!? WTF?!?!?!? Not my problem, HER PROBLEM!!!!!
Bones
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Informed the N-Supply that this crap will be dealt with on MY terms and NOT at the dictates of the N!
Let's see how the N reacts to that piece of news.
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Spotted this in today's Annie's Mailbox. Sure sounds like this Neighbor is an N to me!!! Sheesh! She sounds a LOT like the NDoofus who used to turn up at my door, uninvited, while ANNOUNCING what SHE'S GOING TO DO whether I give permission or not! :P
Dear Annie: I once invited my 60-year-old next-door neighbor to swim in our pool. She then informed me that she would come over daily after dinner and didn't plan to phone first. As she put it, "It's not convenient to call every day."
I tried to tell her politely that the pool is visible from our living room and it is not appropriate for her to use it without our knowledge. We are concerned with our privacy and her safety, not to mention our liability should anything happen to her.
She was furious and stopped speaking to me.
I thought it was common sense and established social decorum that one should not swim in a neighbor's pool without an invitation. Am I correct? How do I mend our relationship? — Confused Pool Owner
Dear Confused: You are correct. Your neighbor doesn't understand boundaries and has limited social acumen. She also has a short fuse. We don't know why you want to mend fences with someone who apparently only values you for your swim facilities. If you apologize for upsetting her, she will expect to have complete access to the pool again. The best you can do is smile and say hello when you see her, and hope for the best.
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Been awake since 1:30 in the morning and can't get back to sleep again...... :P
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I don't think the Annie's get it! :P
Dear Annie: I am married to a wonderful man with a teenage son from a previous marriage. I love them both dearly. We now have two toddlers and a baby on the way.
The problem is my mother-in-law. She left my father-in-law several years ago for a more exciting life (which has failed miserably). Mom maintains a close relationship with my hubby's ex, which is fine. However, she insists on inviting us to the same family functions. The first time she did it, we told her it makes us uncomfortable, and she had a temper tantrum and asked us to leave.
Our relationship with her is rocky at best. She often invites the ex to family functions at her home instead of us, and then complains to others that she doesn't see our children enough. Of course, if anyone mentions my father-in-law, she bristles and says something derogatory.
She is welcome to maintain her ties to her first daughter-in-law. But when she specifically chooses the ex's company over ours, she forfeits that time with our children and distances herself further from our family. We don't hate the ex. We just don't care to share every family barbecue with her.
We have very close relationships with my own parents, as well as my father-in-law, which provide lots of quality grandparent time. Are we wrong in not being more accepting of Mom's behavior? We've tried talking with her about it, but she's never been wrong in her life. What do we do? — Daughter-in-Law in Wyoming
Dear Wyoming: Since the ex is your stepson's mother, it's best if you can coexist. But if Mom chooses to invite the ex-daughter-in-law instead of her son and his family, that is her choice and she must deal with the consequences. If you want to have a closer relationship, invite her to your place.
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I think in the circumstances Bones, Annie's advice is pretty good.
I have no idea how the letter was edited, but I got several red flags from the DIL's language.
Reading it, I'm not sure I'd invite DIL to my place any time soon!
The swimming pool lady was a classic though. I enjoyed that. :D
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I think in the circumstances Bones, Annie's advice is pretty good.
I have no idea how the letter was edited, but I got several red flags from the DIL's language.
Reading it, I'm not sure I'd invite DIL to my place any time soon!
The swimming pool lady was a classic though. I enjoyed that. :D
Morning, Freshwater.
Being a regular reader, I've learned that there are usually information being left out for lack of space. The sentence that caught my eye, regarding the MIL was: "She is never wrong." To me, THAT was a RED FLAG that the family is dealing with an N, especially given that she threw a tantrum because someone DARED disagree with her. The pattern I've seen, ever since these two took over from the late Ann Landers, is that they don't understand NPD.
You're right about the swimming pool lady. She was something else! It just felt creepy knowing that there are others out there JUST LIKE HER!
Bones
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Yo, Bones.
I agree about the 'never wrong', certainly. I wonder if Son though has married someone (again?) a little like Mom. I mean, exactly *what* is DIL's real problem here? I think maybe she spends too much time thinking about (and dissing) MIL. They could be peas in a pod.
I don't know this column but the advice re: swimming pool woman seemed good!
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Yo, Bones.
I agree about the 'never wrong', certainly. I wonder if Son though has married someone (again?) a little like Mom. I mean, exactly *what* is DIL's real problem here? I think maybe she spends too much time thinking about (and dissing) MIL. They could be peas in a pod.
I don't know this column but the advice re: swimming pool woman seemed good!
The DIL commented about "we" meaning her and hubby and MIL threw a tantrum. Unfortunately, I am well acquainted with a MIL like that who DOES throw tantrums every time anyone DARES to disagree with her! So I empathize with the DIL. I've watched this crazy bat destroy the marriages of both of her children because she was constantly dictating, interfering, and throwing tantrums at all of them! She's thrown a tantrum or two in my direction because I refused to side with her against the in-laws. The most outrageous example was when her then-son-in-law underwent a vasectomy after having more than one child, the economy tanked, and the young parents were struggling to support the children they already had. Crazy bat threw an absolute SH*T-FIT that her son-in-law DARED to get a vasectomy WITHOUT HER PERMISSION because SHE'S ENTITLED to as many grandchildren as SHE wants!!!! :shock: She got pissed at me when she attempted to recruit me to side with her against him. I commented that her nose ENDS where their marriage begins and that the decision regarding how many children they can support is STRICTLY between husband and wife, NOT husband, wife, and wife's mommy! If she's not willing to pay money to help support the children, then she needs to back off, butt out, and shut up! Her daughter and son-in-law are NOT her private baby factory to be owned and used at her whim!
Sheesh!!! :roll:
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Today is the 10th Anniversary.
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It is, Bones.
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It is, Bones.
Thanks.
I just got home from a CERT Disaster Drill. At the end of the exercise, we were all given lanyards that has pictures of various First Responders who lost their lives that day. We will never forget.
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During today's Disaster Drill exercise, I was reminded of a prior experience a few months ago with another Drill. I encountered an example of Idiocy that I will NEVER understand!
During this Drill, on a very HOT and HUMID summer day, the group that had organized the Drill was handing out bottled water because it is critical to remain hydrated, ESPECIALLY if the Disaster is REAL. One of the volunteers started whining that the bottled water wasn't cold enough to suit him! :shock: I commented that if we were responding to a REAL Disaster...the aftermath of a Hurricane, Tornado, or Earthquake, where the electricity has been knocked out, there will be NO refrigeration! It is still critically important to maintain hydration, especially when it's HOT and HUMID like it was that particular day!
His response? "Well, if it's NOT refrigerated, I WON'T drink it!"
My response? "If you want to be a nominee for the Darwin Award, be my guest!" :roll:
Bones
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Checking in,,,,,,,,,
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"If you want to be a nominee for the Darwin Award, be my guest!"
Nice one, Bones! :D
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"If you want to be a nominee for the Darwin Award, be my guest!"
Nice one, Bones! :D
LOL!
Thanks, Freshwater!
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Just checking in and resting today......
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Thinking about a conversation I recently had with bf. We do have a couple of disturbing things in common: (a) we were both the result of unplanned pregnancies, (b) the individuals involved discussed the possibility of abortion at the time of the unplanned pregnancies and (c) the Nparental units made a point of TELLING each of us about the possibility of aborting us! :shock: :? :shock:
In my situation, with NWomb-Donor, she made it CRYSTAL CLEAR that she resented the fact that I survived against all odds and that she always wished me dead! In bf's situation, his NSperm-Donor acted like it was a funny joke!
My reaction is: WHAT ADULT, IN THEIR RIGHT MIND, WOULD TELL THEIR OFFSPRING THAT KIND OF CRAP?!?!?!? :P
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wrong mind
wrong mind
wrong mind
((((((Bones, you welcome human being))))
Hops
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WHAT ADULT, IN THEIR RIGHT MIND, WOULD TELL THEIR OFFSPRING THAT KIND OF CRAP?!?!
My first thoughts were....
but I moderated them, because I couldn't remember the Rules on this Board for A LOT of bad language.
Some people are actually wicked. I like that word.
((((((Bones))))))
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wrong mind
wrong mind
wrong mind
((((((Bones, you welcome human being))))
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
N's are REALLY SCREWY and SCREWED UP!!!!! :P :P :P
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WHAT ADULT, IN THEIR RIGHT MIND, WOULD TELL THEIR OFFSPRING THAT KIND OF CRAP?!?!
My first thoughts were....
but I moderated them, because I couldn't remember the Rules on this Board for A LOT of bad language.
Some people are actually wicked. I like that word.
((((((Bones))))))
Thanks, Freshwater.
That's one way to describe these NMonsters!
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I also have another question weighing on my mind.....
This past year, I have been involved with some community activities....one of them being Community Emergency Response Team. One concerned a Search and Recovery mission, (yes, a REAL one where we were searching for human remains), and the other was where different CERT teams from different jurisdictions were invited to participate in the recent Labor Day Parade. The Search and Recovery mission also involved members from different counties and jurisdictions.
A newspaper article was written by a CERT member regarding the Search and Recovery mission and, the way it was written, made it appear that ONLY ONE CERT jurisdiction did EVERYTHING, (which I found annoying). As a result of several jurisdictions joining the Labor Day Parade, our CERT group won First Runner Up in the Community Category and, again, this ONE CERT jurisdiction acted as if they were the ONLY jurisdiction there!
My perspective is to give credit where credit is due! At least say "THANK YOU" to the other jurisdictions that joined in the effort instead of completely ignoring their existence while taking credit for everything!
Is it just me that feels this way?
Bones
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Do you ever read Miss Manners, Bones?
Simple etiquette... and lack of teaching of it... contributes to this kind distortion, the viewpoint of the article and lack of acknowledgement for other teams. "Good Manners"... I think these actually helped support good boundaries, in some ways.
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Do you ever read Miss Manners, Bones?
Simple etiquette... and lack of teaching of it... contributes to this kind distortion, the viewpoint of the article and lack of acknowledgement for other teams. "Good Manners"... I think these actually helped support good boundaries, in some ways.
Thanks, P.R.!
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Just feeling out of sorts at the moment.......
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My perspective is to give credit where credit is due! At least say "THANK YOU" to the other jurisdictions that joined in the effort instead of completely ignoring their existence while taking credit for everything!
Is it just me that feels this way?
No Bones, not just you. But I've seen it too often.
The service recipients know who to thank. And sometimes they write letters to the editor of local newspapers...
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My perspective is to give credit where credit is due! At least say "THANK YOU" to the other jurisdictions that joined in the effort instead of completely ignoring their existence while taking credit for everything!
Is it just me that feels this way?
No Bones, not just you. But I've seen it too often.
The service recipients know who to thank. And sometimes they write letters to the editor of local newspapers...
Thanks, Freshwater.
I'm glad I'm not alone.
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Had an unexpected surprise last night.
To give a bit of background:
When bf learned that his biological mother died back in January, he finally became interested in his family history as he knows almost nothing. He signed my contract and paid me to start researching and I have been able to find out some information on his father's side of the family. His mother's side is proving more challenging because bf had been born to an unwed mother, back in the 50's, and custody was immediately given to his biological father. He didn't learn the truth about his biological mother until he was a senior in high school and had tried to find her, without success, for years. When he and I got together, and he told me about his mother, I took up the search, found her, and reunited them back in 2001. (We first communicated by phone in August 2001 and I called her the day after 9-11 to let her know we were all right after the attacks. In the adrenaline rush of reassuring friends and family that we were safe, I accidentally let slip that bf was her son, to the nursing home staff, when they asked me why she should be interested in his well-being. She fussed at me for that and I apologized. I don't think straight after a huge scare like 9-11. I tend to blurt first and think later.)
Fast forward to this year, when I find his mother's obituary online. In it, I read that bf has a cousin, and I started researching how to find and contact her. I found an address and a phone number. Given the circumstances, I thought it would be best to ease into this situation by sending the cousin a letter. I really wasn't certain what kind of reception we would get, given that the biological mother had never married and she was from the generation that having out-of-wedlock children was shameful. After I sent the letter a month ago, I didn't hear anything so I decided to just not push it if the maternal relatives were uncomfortable.
Last night, after 9:00 PM, while bf was visiting with me, the phone rang! (Normally, I don't answer the phone after that time of night. This time, something told me: "Pick up!") It was the cousin I wrote to!!!!! :shock: She had so many questions and she was excited to learn she has a cousin she never knew and WANTS TO MEET HIM!!!! He seems to be in shock about all this. I've told him, several times, that since he's hired me to research his family history, it's going to require COMMUNICATING with people and one NEVER KNOWS what I may find!
Now I'm curious about what's going to happen next!
Bones
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That's exciting, Bones!
I hope bf has a happy and interesting reunion with his cuz....
hugs
Hops
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That's exciting, Bones!
I hope bf has a happy and interesting reunion with his cuz....
hugs
Hops
Me too! He really doesn't have many family ties. Even his half-brothers are scattered everywhere and he rarely hears from them.
Bones
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Abby's reply made me grin!!!! RIGHT ON, ABBY!!!!! :D
DEAR ABBY: I recently bought a small travel trailer that I use for weekend fishing trips. My dog, "Goldie," accompanies me on these short trips and sleeps with me on the only bed in the trailer.
My wife, "Shirley," is now expecting to go on some of my fishing trips with Goldie and me. The problem is, Goldie is used to sleeping with me, and I believe she should have first dibs on the bed since she was there first.
When I informed Shirley that she'd be sleeping in the back of the truck, she came unglued. Now, Shirley and I are hardly speaking. Goldie is a young Lab pup who is my very best friend, constant companion and never nags. I think my wife is being selfish and inconsiderate, but I'd like your opinion. Am I out of line here? -- GOIN' FISHIN' IN MIDLAND, TEXAS
DEAR GOIN' FISHIN': If you're expecting sympathy from me, you're barking up the wrong tree. You are not only out of line, but it appears you're also in the doghouse. A real Texas gentleman would let Shirley and Goldie share the bed while he slept in the truck, and that's what I'm urging you to do.
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A recent encounter with an N reminded me of how much N's violate others' boundaries.
This N demanded to know if I was reading my Bible. Excuse me?!?!?!?!? :? (As a matter of fact, I do before going to sleep. I find it comforting.) When I acknowledged that YES, I DO READ MY BIBLE to this N, she THEN PROCEEDED TO ATTEMPT TO DICTATE WHAT I WAS ALLOWED TO READ IN MY OWN BIBLE IN THE PRIVACY OF MY OWN HOME!!!!!! :shock:
She got told: "BACK OFF, JACK!!!!! This is between me and my God of my understanding AND YOU AIN'T GOD!!!" Did I mention she got pissy because I DARED say the word "NO" to her royal @#$%-ness!?!?!? When will these N's learn that their noses END where other people's boundaries BEGIN?!?!?!?
:? :x :P
Sheesh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bones
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This website was mentioned in "Dear Margo", Friday, September 16, 2011:
http://narcissisticpersonalitydisoderfamilyforum.yuku.com/topic/512/Sister-with-NPD#.TnM17-xDSSo
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Here's the "Dear Margo" letter in case you might have difficulty locating it:
Dear Margo: Like someone else who wrote to you, I, too, am middle-aged and have a sister who flies off the handle at imagined slights. Just last year I found a website and finally understood the wellspring of the abuse. She is a narcissist, and some reports say this is caused by the male role model being absent during a crucial development period in a young girl's life. This website has helped me, and I learned that my sister thinks she is perfect and will never change, so I limit my contact with her to group settings only, where I can avoid her or move on when she decides to throw a tantrum so the day will be about her. Limiting contact is the only thing that works. For anyone else who has my problem, I offer the website: http://bit.ly/qFr9f7. — Figured It Out at Least
Dear Fig: I pass this on to whomever might find it useful, with your compliments. A way of handling unbalanced friends or relatives can be a lifesaver. Understanding is a great tool for managing someone else's disturbances. I have never believed in being victimized by either relatives or friends. — Margo, sympathetically
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Is it just me or are the majority of the male gender IDIOTS?!?!?!?!?!?!?
I went out to my car and discovered that something has gone wrong with the braking system so it has to be towed to the mechanic as soon as I can get the finances together. Otherwise, I drive NOWHERE because it is NOT safe on the road for me or other drivers.
When I informed bf about this new problem and that I have to get to an appointment tomorrow morning...his response? "Why can't you just drive it anyway?" Is he that FRAKKING F-ING STUPID?!?!?!?!? WHY SHOULD I ENDANGER OTHERS AND MYSELF FOR HIS CONVENIENCE?!?!?!?!? :P
Bones
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Just checking in and still feeling annoyed at the male within my vicinity...... :P
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The first letter in Annie's Mailbox, today, sounds PAINFULLY familiar!!!!!
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/on-golden-child.html
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Thats a sad story. I suppose in every family there is always someone who is the favorite and someone who feels left out and that is not necessarily malicious. Some of that I can understand and not be bothered by.
For me, the only wisdom the columnist forgot is that the wife is in a great position to build her marriage by treating her husband with the respect, love anc acceptance his Mother clearly cannot. Rather than try to make things more equal between the brothers or cause conflict, just take more care with her husband. He'll appreciate the wife and might soon realize that he's worth far more than his mother realizes. And, won't she be pissed when she realizes her son is blossoming in his marriage!
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Thats a sad story. I suppose in every family there is always someone who is the favorite and someone who feels left out and that is not necessarily malicious. Some of that I can understand and not be bothered by.
For me, the only wisdom the columnist forgot is that the wife is in a great position to build her marriage by treating her husband with the respect, love and acceptance his Mother clearly cannot. Rather than try to make things more equal between the brothers or cause conflict, just take more care with her husband. He'll appreciate the wife and might soon realize that he's worth far more than his mother realizes. And, won't she be pissed when she realizes her son is blossoming in his marriage!
I agree.
When I was reading the comments below the letters, one reader commented that the husband's previous wife might have been the one to divorce him just to get away from the battle-axe MIL!
Bones
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Feeling the need to vent at the moment and I'm not sure who to vent to....so I guess I'll vent here.
[Getting on Soapbox]
For the "Wanna-Be's", i.e. "Cop-Wanna-Be's", "Fire-Fighter Wanna-Be's"...if that is what you REALLY want to do AND are ABLE TO QUALIFY, then do so! If you KNOW that you will NEVER BE ABLE TO QUALIFY, then STOP driving everyone around you crazy by impersonating a cop or fire-fighter! It does NOT become you and WILL give you LEGAL HEADACHES WHEN YOU GET CAUGHT! AND I HOPE THE LEGAL SYSTEM THROWS THE BOOK AT YOU!!!!!
For the other "Volunteers" who "volunteer" for this, that, the other, etc., etc., etc.......PLEASE FOLLOW THROUGH WITH WHAT YOU SAY YOU'RE GOING TO DO!!!! If the ONLY reason you are "volunteering" is to make your resume' LOOK GOOD, or SO YOU CAN BRAG, and BRAG and BRAG....... then DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME AND MINE when you KNOW YOU DON'T WANT to be bothered rolling up your sleeves and DOING THE WORK! If you're afraid of getting your fingernails dirty, breaking a fingernail, or ruining your manicure, then QUIT WASTING YOUR TIME AND MINE AND STOP VOLUNTEERING AND GET OFF THE DANG COMMITTEES YOU'VE JOINED SO YOU CAN FLAP YOUR STUPID GUMS AND STILL DO NOTHING!!!! DAMMIT!!!! :P
[Getting off Soapbox]
Bones
P.S. A bit of background.....my frustration stems from involvement in various volunteer organizations within the community and observing certain individuals who are FRUSTRATING!!!! Yesterday morning, my community was supposed to have a Safety Expo and a city employee worked her butt off for several months to organize it, invite a large number of organizations that are involved with public safety, received RSVP's from several of the invitees only to have the vast majority pull a NO CALL-NO SHOW!! :x After all that work, on her part, she was so upset she was crying! I was SO ANGRY at these RUDE people who told her they were coming and then to not even have the decency to inform her they had decided to cancel instead! :evil: :evil:
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Does this sound familiar? (From "Dear Abby", September 18, 2011.)
DEAR ABBY: I have been married several years to an only child. Despite our objections, my mother-in-law, "Diana," continues to treat my husband, "Rob," as though he's helpless and me as his equally incapable sidekick.
I should have realized there was trouble when Diana and other in-laws came to visit us on our honeymoon -- unannounced and uninvited. When we go to a buffet restaurant, she prepares plates for him. She tells him what clothes to wear to events and even irons them for him. She includes our names on cards, gifts, flowers, etc., for which we've had no input or financial contribution. Anytime we mention going out of town, she attempts to invite her husband and herself to tag along.
Rob and I are responsible adults who work full time. We have never asked his parents for anything. I find her behavior insulting and intrusive. Even if I wanted to wait on my husband hand and foot, I'd have to beat my mother-in-law to it.
I have done everything I can think of to remedy this, from having Rob speak to her to being frank with her myself. Aside from saying hello when I answer the phone, I choose to have no relationship with her. Am I being overly sensitive, or is Diana overstepping her boundaries? -- MARRIED TO AN ONLY CHILD IN KENTUCKY
DEAR MARRIED TO AN ONLY CHILD: If your description of your mother-in-law is accurate, she's the living definition of a mother who can't let go. Because you and Rob have spoken frankly to her about this and her behavior persists, she strikes me as overbearing.
By now it should be clear that Diana isn't going to change. Your best recourse may be to put geographic distance between you if and when it's feasible.
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Aren't people a trip, Bones? Those kind wouldn't last long here.
Down here, I've been reading about the reverse -- people who've volunteered for a disaster response org (I won't say which one) - and then were FIRED for having useful practical skills and willing to donate those same, to help others. Seems the org only wanted fundraising volunteers. Big, national charity this was.
The real story with hurricances, happens in the months, not weeks, afterwards. How people survive, help out, carry on and deal with the loss, stress, and abandonment by the official "helpers"; FEMA left last week. But the Salvation Army is still feeding folks in the southern beach towns; Operation Blessing is still here helping rebuild homes. And the Army Corp is still trying to get all the pieces collected & in place to build a temporary bridge over the largest, washed out inlet that is open, ocean to sound. The state is reviving it's Energy Start Rebate program - and only allowing folks replacing hurricane-damaged appliances to participate. It's a significant rebate per purchase, too.
Out of all of that - what I've been hearing the most of aren't so much complaints... but these stories of over the top kindness, unsung heros, and the best in people rising to the occasion. Which gives me an idea.... back later! :D
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Aren't people a trip, Bones? Those kind wouldn't last long here.
Down here, I've been reading about the reverse -- people who've volunteered for a disaster response org (I won't say which one) - and then were FIRED for having useful practical skills and willing to donate those same, to help others. Seems the org only wanted fundraising volunteers. Big, national charity this was.
The real story with hurricances, happens in the months, not weeks, afterwards. How people survive, help out, carry on and deal with the loss, stress, and abandonment by the official "helpers"; FEMA left last week. But the Salvation Army is still feeding folks in the southern beach towns; Operation Blessing is still here helping rebuild homes. And the Army Corp is still trying to get all the pieces collected & in place to build a temporary bridge over the largest, washed out inlet that is open, ocean to sound. The state is reviving it's Energy Start Rebate program - and only allowing folks replacing hurricane-damaged appliances to participate. It's a significant rebate per purchase, too.
Out of all of that - what I've been hearing the most of aren't so much complaints... but these stories of over the top kindness, unsung heros, and the best in people rising to the occasion. Which gives me an idea.... back later! :D
Thanks, PR!
Yeah, you're right! Those kind of people are a trip and shouldn't last long if all they want to do is be "fair weather friends", collect money for their organizations, but can't be bothered to roll up their sleeves and HELP people! If they DON'T want to help people, then they DON'T DESERVE ANY DONATIONS!!!!!
I'm curious about your idea! :D
Bones
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Just checking in.............
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Tonight I'm meeting with one of the volunteer groups that was a No-Call-No-Show this past Saturday. I do plan to ask them: "What happened? You sent an RSVP, told the event coordinator you were coming. What?!?!?!?" I'm curious about what the "excuses" will be. This coming Saturday, I'm scheduled to assist in teaching CPR/First Aid to several of these same members. Will the same stuff occur......"No-Call-No-Show"?
Bones
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Tonight I'm meeting with one of the volunteer groups that was a No-Call-No-Show this past Saturday. I do plan to ask them: "What happened? You sent an RSVP, told the event coordinator you were coming. What?!?!?!?" I'm curious about what the "excuses" will be. This coming Saturday, I'm scheduled to assist in teaching CPR/First Aid to several of these same members. Will the same stuff occur......"No-Call-No-Show"?
Bones
Tonight, at the meeting, when I brought up the question.....the head of our organization denied he ever said that our volunteer group was going to participate. I commented that the coordinator stated, this past Saturday, that she had been told the organization was going to attend. Who's telling the truth? All I got was silence in response.......
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Just checking in.......................
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As I was leaving last night's meeting to come on home, another member approached me and started haranguing me about how I "should be involved" in another group! :shock: (I had already checked out this other group a L-O-N-G time ago and have ZERO interest in being involved with that other group.) I simply responded: "No, thank you." and continued toward the door. She kept it up with: "Well, you SHOULD blah, blah, blah!"
What part of the word "NO" do they NOT understand?? :?
When she finally got it that No means No, she snaps: "Well, FINE! Do what YOU want!" I calmly stated: "That is exactly right!" and kept walking.
Bones
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Not sure what I am feeling this morning. I can't find a name for the state of mind.
Last night, my community had the homeowners meeting and it was decided that someone else would be appointed to the board....someone they already have known for years....so I wasn't surprised nor upset. I expected as much. At the same time, it gave me the opportunity to say something that had been bothering me for several years.
The situation that had been bothering me was based on several community activities, e.g. pool parties, picnics, yard sales, holiday parties, National Night Out events, that were taking place within the gates of our development and only ONE person from the board, the same single person, was the ONLY person from the board who attended. All the other board members were consistent NO SHOWs, year after year after year and so on....
I asked, if we are supposed to be building a community, together, as members of the board...WHERE WERE YOU? What image are you really projecting when we never see you at social events within our own home development when it's only steps away from where you live? Of the six board members who attended last night, I acknowledged that the president was unable to attend all the events due to occasional conflict schedules. At the same time, he makes a concerted effort to be there whenever he can. Everyone else.....what are the excuses? I heard most of the board members comment: "Fair enough. Good point." All I wanted to do was to speak on what was bothering me, for several years, and give them something to think about for the next community event coming up, which is a planned game night...playing board games or card games.
After the general meeting adjourned and before the executive session began, one of the board members waved me over to speak to him. He immediately tore into me about how I insulted HIM, how my remarks were inappropriate and invasive to HIM and how DARE I speak in such a manner! (WTF?!?!?!? :?) I reiterated that my comments were to address the ENTIRE board, not just HIM, and that my concerns and comments are VALID! He didn't say another word and I went home to bed.
The more I think about the way he reacted to my comments last night, the more I'm wondering.....did I just verbally slap a Narcissist?
Bones
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Tired..........
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Trying to find constructive things to take my mind off of depression. Finished reading a biography of the Russian Empress, Catherine II. Interesting read.........
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History helps sometimes, doesn't it Bones.
Sort of puts things in per-speck-tive...
I used to devour historical novels when I was young,
somehow they were a greater escape than contemporary fiction.
Hope you feel better soon in all ways.
Hops
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History helps sometimes, doesn't it Bones.
Sort of puts things in per-speck-tive...
I used to devour historical novels when I was young,
somehow they were a greater escape than contemporary fiction.
Hope you feel better soon in all ways.
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
The book I just finished reading was sent to me as part of a review program prior to publishing. It's scheduled to go on sale November 8th. As I was reading about Catherine II's early years, I couldn't help but get the feeling that her mother was an N. Catherine's mother was so stupid that she offended the then-ruling Empress Elizabeth and got sent back to Germany in disgrace. Catherine's husband, Emperor Peter III, wasn't much better. I couldn't help feeling how much things remain the same in spite of centuries going by!
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Just feeling very isolated today......
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Spotted this via my e-mail:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-legacy-distorted-love/201011/maternal-narcissism-survey-is-your-mom
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Possible Narcissist in action.....Baby or Foul Ball? And he wonders WHY his wife gave him "THE LOOK"??????
http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/blog/big_league_stew/post/Video-Next-time-he-8217-ll-keep-a-better-grip-?urn=mlb-wp21111
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Only a Narcissist would do this to an innocent baby!
http://news.yahoo.com/woman-killed-grandchild-says-she-felt-unloved-223858813.html;_ylt=Audp66KVDHGXGNFQNEICFRH99XQA;_ylu=X3oDMTRoNWl2OXViBGNjb2RlA2dtcHRvcDIwMHBvb2xyZXN0BG1pdANOZXdzIGZvciB5b3UEcGtnA2ZhMjVkMTJkLTU2OTYtMzU2Yi1iNWMxLTRkZDM3NGI5ZTdiOARwb3MDNARzZWMDbmV3c19mb3JfeW91BHZlcgNhNjk4ODc1MC1lOTU5LTExZTAtYmQ3ZC00OGY3ZWIzNzNmMjM-;_ylg=X3oDMTJua2V0OGRpBGludGwDdXMEbGFuZwNlbi11cwRwc3RhaWQDYjBiZGUyNzEtMzU2Mi0zMGQxLTliNzktOGVhODI1ZWE5YWE0BHBzdGNhdAN0ZWNoBHB0A3N0b3J5cGFnZQ--;_ylv=3
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Bones
#1 he's an idiot.
#2 she's a psychopath.
He could be educated, she couldn't. Just my opinion.
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Bones
#1 he's an idiot.
#2 she's a psychopath.
He could be educated, she couldn't. Just my opinion.
Thanks, Freshwater.
When I was watching the video with the baseball idiot, even though I'm certain neither was speaking English, I could pretty much guess the translation of what the wife said to her husband after she gave him THE LOOK!!!! Based on his gestures, he was trying to make excuses that his wife CLEARLY was NOT buying!!!! (To make matters worse, he's picking up the toddler by ONE LEG!!!! :shock: What's up with THAT?!?!?!?)
My reaction to #2 is that she is a Psychopathic Narcissist!! Aren't all Narcissists Psychopathic to some degree? SCARY!!!!!! :shock: :shock:
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I didn't watch the video Bones but I did read the text.
Not sure that all Ns are psychos really....but that's just definitions. Scary they are, when they're in your orbit, and when you're affected by them (and when they cause malicious harm to anyone). Psychos that is. Ns can be just a plain pain the .......bottom.
On the other hand, I can watch an N around a baby and think there's danger, so.
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I didn't watch the video Bones but I did read the text.
Not sure that all Ns are psychos really....but that's just definitions. Scary they are, when they're in your orbit, and when you're affected by them (and when they cause malicious harm to anyone). Psychos that is. Ns can be just a plain pain the .......bottom.
On the other hand, I can watch an N around a baby and think there's danger, so.
Plus I've heard at least one N comment that a kid was "in HER way" because she wanted his mother to instantly drop everything and do what SHE wanted IMMEDIATELY, e.g. shopping N-O-W! The mother had said "No" because her son's needs had a higher priority than going shopping with the N.
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Plus I've heard at least one N comment that a kid was "in HER way" because she wanted his mother to instantly drop everything and do what SHE wanted IMMEDIATELY, e.g. shopping N-O-W! The mother had said "No" because her son's needs had a higher priority than going shopping with the N.
That it, Bones - the bold part - is the "cure" for Nism. It may not cure the person... but if enough people do this enough times... the behavior might eventually be changed. That one simple word... the first that many of us learn, right after Mama and Dada... NO... is the silver bullet/cross/garlic bulb... for Nism.
Disclaimer: it can also be dangerous! Use with caution and always have your exit mapped out in case you have to run!
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Plus I've heard at least one N comment that a kid was "in HER way" because she wanted his mother to instantly drop everything and do what SHE wanted IMMEDIATELY, e.g. shopping N-O-W! The mother had said "No" because her son's needs had a higher priority than going shopping with the N.
That it, Bones - the bold part - is the "cure" for Nism. It may not cure the person... but if enough people do this enough times... the behavior might eventually be changed. That one simple word... the first that many of us learn, right after Mama and Dada... NO... is the silver bullet/cross/garlic bulb... for Nism.
Disclaimer: it can also be dangerous! Use with caution and always have your exit mapped out in case you have to run!
Thanks, P.R.
From what I've seen, N's do NOT accept the word "NO" quietly! Either they fly into a Narcissistic Rage and physically attack you or attack someone they KNOW you LOVE, (like that baby in Virginia), or destroy your property. I've also observed an N passively-aggressively destroy property belonging to others because either (a) she was jealous of what they had and/or (b) they DARED to say "NO" to what she wanted. Her passive-aggressive message was: "If you DARE to defy ME, I'm going to F*** you up!"
Either way, it's crazy-making and maddening, especially when the N insists that they are ENTITLED to do as they please! :P
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and Bones, if you can cultivate a fake, or acting, version of your own 'crazy', so that they believe that you will retaliate in kind, or worse, then you might stop them. But you have to look like you would do it, whatever that is, and that is very difficult to achieve - I imagine.
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and Bones, if you can cultivate a fake, or acting, version of your own 'crazy', so that they believe that you will retaliate in kind, or worse, then you might stop them. But you have to look like you would do it, whatever that is, and that is very difficult to achieve - I imagine.
Thanks, Freshwater. From my perspective, I didn't have to fake establishing a boundary, which I have every right to do!
I guess, in a way, I managed to achieve that the last time the Nrelatives attempted to threaten me with violence if I DARED to refuse to continue being the "Family Slave". I was threatened with having the NGCB sent over to my home and have the cr*p beaten out of me for DARING to DEFY my slave-owners. I responded that if they were all THAT STUPID enough to threaten me with a home invasion, I would have the police waiting for them when their "enforcer" arrived! (This was MY home, NOT THEIR PROPERTY!) I also stated that I would be more than happy to air every fragment of the FILTHY FAMILY LAUNDRY for all the world to see to the police and in court!!! No one showed up and I never heard from them again. I've been NC from that point on.
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Bones,
you get the respect. Noone gets away with threats of violence.
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Bones,
you get the respect. No one gets away with threats of violence.
Thanks, Freshwater.
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Yep.
When I first said my first firm adult "No" to my Nbrother...he attacked my daughter.
Basically, tried to destroy both our lives.
It was stunning. Sickening.
NC.
xo
Hops
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Hops & Bones -
I find Ns very seldom carry through their threats. God knows, it would reflect badly on them.
Saying NO loudly and enough times to get them to back off... it's priceless.
I'm so sorry if anyone has experienced different. In that case, I feel one is justified in defending oneself - and I'm not too particular about what that requires. Pirate Code: no mercy, no quarter.
survival of the fittest and all that.
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Yep.
When I first said my first firm adult "No" to my Nbrother...he attacked my daughter.
Basically, tried to destroy both our lives.
It was stunning. Sickening.
NC.
xo
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
The only way to stay away from TOXIC NMonsters....NC!
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Hops & Bones -
I find Ns very seldom carry through their threats. God knows, it would reflect badly on them.
Saying NO loudly and enough times to get them to back off... it's priceless.
I'm so sorry if anyone has experienced different. In that case, I feel one is justified in defending oneself - and I'm not too particular about what that requires. Pirate Code: no mercy, no quarter.
survival of the fittest and all that.
Thanks, P.R.
Narcissistic Rage-aholics are the WORST!
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PR
I find Ns very seldom carry through their threats. God knows, it would reflect badly on them.
and then they meet someone like me who will carry through, because once I make a threat, I'm beyond caring. I don't make threats unless I mean them. Oh I scared myself there...
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I was having a pretty angry day, yesterday. Some faceless, institutional bureaucrat pushed my old button... the one that says I'm lying, making things up and that I can't be believed. Why is it, that some people insist on thinking the worst of one - that others are trying to pull a fast one - despite plain, simple documentation to the contrary? It's as if they don't understand plain english... shouldn't have graduated college with that level of literacy and they're sure you're hiding something or have an ulterior motive or are up to no-good.
Jeez, if anything I'm guilty of TMI... and going above & beyond to "prove" myself. I am what I show people of myself - the good, the bad, the weak, the strong... the legacy of the mess I used to be... the vulnerabilities that will always show up right on cue, when someone stands on one of those buttons. I've worked too hard to be my SELF, to be interested in putting on a show to impress or mislead or manipulate someone. Hubs, bless his heart, went to discuss and explain in my place. I was ready to rip someone apart... because incompetence on their part shouldn't be MY problem. He has no button in that place, where I do. Wouldn't that be nice?
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I was having a pretty angry day, yesterday. Some faceless, institutional bureaucrat pushed my old button... the one that says I'm lying, making things up and that I can't be believed. Why is it, that some people insist on thinking the worst of one - that others are trying to pull a fast one - despite plain, simple documentation to the contrary? It's as if they don't understand plain english... shouldn't have graduated college with that level of literacy and they're sure you're hiding something or have an ulterior motive or are up to no-good.
Jeez, if anything I'm guilty of TMI... and going above & beyond to "prove" myself. I am what I show people of myself - the good, the bad, the weak, the strong... the legacy of the mess I used to be... the vulnerabilities that will always show up right on cue, when someone stands on one of those buttons. I've worked too hard to be my SELF, to be interested in putting on a show to impress or mislead or manipulate someone. Hubs, bless his heart, went to discuss and explain in my place. I was ready to rip someone apart... because incompetence on their part shouldn't be MY problem. He has no button in that place, where I do. Wouldn't that be nice?
((((((((((((((((((((((((((PR))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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Ha PR, sympathy there.
Another point: who has the time to muck about like that? I mean, what's the point, unless you're paid for being an asshole? (Gee there are so many jobs like that though.) But of course, we're all assholes. I read the book! :D
edit
whoah. I came back to read you better, PR, and I read:
I've worked too hard to be my SELF, to be interested in putting on a show to impress or mislead or manipulate someone.
So if you hadn't worked too hard to be your SELF..........................................
you would be interested in that stuff? You used to be interested in that stuff? You used to do that stuff?
Pray, why?
Is it fun?
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I spent all my days trying to get people to "take me seriously"... to be authoritative... to "know" as much as possible... to again, impress the folks who make out paychecks. To outsmart the "game players", too.
MEH... that was a total waste of time. I gave it up.
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And it's even MORE frustrating when people don't hear you, no matter how many times you explain the obvious!!!! :P
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I spent all my days trying to get people to "take me seriously"... to be authoritative... to "know" as much as possible... to again, impress the folks who make out paychecks. To outsmart the "game players", too.
MEH... that was a total waste of time. I gave it up.
Okay I can see where the misleading could come in. Ha, mis-leading. I got insane/bored before I got that far. Also I was smarter than the game-players. You have to be a certain sort of stupid to be a game-player. It's required.
Bones, I can't be arsed. Okay I can and do. I did a bit today IRL. Then I thought, this person is mad. Why am I bothering? I shall stop. And so I did.
I'm used to people not hearing me. But to be honest, I don't have much to say!
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What frustrates me about not being heard is when it results in wasting my time....especially when it is in a dentist's office, which is my least favorite please to be hanging out in the first place. About a week ago, I scheduled a follow-up appointment as I had surgery done for an implant. I explained to the staff, via e-mail, that the best time for the appointment was at 12:00 noon because I have to depend on someone else for transportation and that person is taking time off from their job to accommodate the appointment. I followed up that e-mail with a phone call to BE SURE they received the e-mail and the 12:00 noon appointment was confirmed.
About half an hour after that phone call, the dentist office calls me back to tell me that while they were confirming the 12:00 noon appointment with me, another staff person scheduled another patient for the same appointment! (The right hand does not know what the left hand is doing!) I was then asked, if I could change my appointment for earlier or later in the same day. I explained AGAIN about my transportation situation and WHY it has to be at 12:00 noon because it impacts the person who is providing my transportation, meaning the friend's J-O-B. The response I got was: "Okay, they'll work me in somehow."
Day before yesterday, I get a "reminder" phone call informing me that they re-scheduled my appointment for 1:00 PM in the afternoon! :x I explained, AGAIN, WHY that presents a problem for the person providing my transportation because it impacts their JOB! I emphasized, AGAIN, that my appointment has to be at 12:00 noon so it would have minimal impact on my transportation's employment since he has to leave work, come get me, then drive to the dentist's office; plus pick me up after the appointment, take me home, then go back to work! (Am I being CRYSTAL CLEAR YET?!?!?)
Today, I arrive between 11:30 to 11:45 AM expecting a 12:00 noon appointment as I had been explaining for about one week...only to be informed that they KEPT THE APPOINTMENT IN THEIR SCHEDULE AT 1:00 PM! (They had completely IGNORED everything I had been telling them!) I explained AGAIN about my transportation situation! :x The response I got was that they would work me in somehow.
From about 11:30 AM until 1:37 PM, I sat and waited....first in the waiting room, then in the dentist's chair. At 1:37 PM, my ride called me to ask if I was ready to go home. By this point, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING HAD BEEN DONE!!!! The dentist's schedule had been booked so full that he couldn't even get to me to glance at the surgical site! My ride informed me that he had to get back to work so I told him to come on back and get me. That's when I got out of the dentist's chair, took that "bib" off, walked over to the cubicle where the dentist was working on another patient and told him: "I hate to be the bearer of bad news but I have to leave! My ride has to go back to work and he is the only way I can get home! I'm going back to the waiting room to wait for him!" I think the dentist was embarrassed about what had happened which resulted in a patient walking out on an appointment. (I had no choice as there was NO way I was going to be able to walk home and I felt that it wasn't fair for the front office staff to jeopardize my ride's job because THEY WOULD NOT LISTEN TO ME!)
As I headed for the door, the front office staff asked me to schedule another appointment. I told them I would get back to them as soon as I knew my ride's next availability, NO THANKS TO THEM! :P WASTED OVER TWO F-ING HOURS OF MY TIME, AND MY RIDE'S TIME AWAY FROM THEIR WORK, FOR NOTHING BECAUSE THEY WOULD NOT HEAR ME AFTER EXPLAINING THE OBVIOUS AT LEAST SIX DIFFERENT F-ING TIMES!!!! F-ING IDIOTS!!!!!!
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Idiots, indeed, Bones! Nothing makes me crazier, than people who've screwed up expecting me to absorb their mistake, bend over backwards to accommodate THEM, and help them pretend the mistake didn't happen in the first place. It's customer service 101, in my experience... if you screw up, you go out of your way to "make it right" with the person affected by your mistake and you do that with apologies and a smile. Mistakes happen all the time... accidents often don't have a neon arrow pointing blame at anyone (and sometimes no precise explanation either)... so what's the deal with trying to sweep it under the rug, pretend it didn't happen, and oh - by the way - it's my job to "fix it"??????
OK - rant over. I think people do this kind o' crap because they attach way too much importance to the mistake, make it a "shame" event emotionally, and fear that one simple mistake will cost them their self-respect (because they're supposed to be "perfect"), if not their job. Fear and shame make for a really lousy cocktail... and almost always results in someone avoiding really "fixing" the problem and moving on to the next one. I guess this is a consequence of not teaching kids they'll survive failure... they can learn from mistakes and stop making this particular one... and that their self-esteem and self-image is THE most important thing.
[oh - wait - isn't that one way Ns develop?? I sure hope they stopped using this philosophy in public schools. Imagine what a shocker it is to those kids - when they find out "special" doesn't cut it in the real world... and that yes, it's really easy to fail.]
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PR
I'm not at all sure that Bones's dentist staff are doing an N, shame shifting job on Bones.
It's a possibility that they just don't care about customer satisfaction. They may hate their jobs. Or they may just be incompetent in booking appointments. It sounds like it.
I used to get annoyed by this sort of crap. But it's not worth the heart attack.
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The front office staff at the dentist's office wasn't trying to shift the blame to me....they were just acting plain STUPID by IGNORING ALL THE INFORMATION being given to them! It not only screwed up my schedule, it also impacted my transportation AND it also impacted the dentist!
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I sent the dentist's office and e-mail, with a "cc:" to the friend providing transportation, outlining my dissatisfaction with what occurred this past Friday. I'm still awaiting a response.
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Still heard nothing from the dentist's office yet.
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Still heard nothing from the dentist's office yet.
Given that my patience with the front office staff is extremely thin, I'm not in a rush to call them.
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Woke up from having a strange, somewhat autobiographical, dream. My psychology training, (Freud, maybe), is telling me that it's my brain attempting to work on my issues given that there are no 3-D therapists around where I live that "get it" regarding Narcissistic Personality Disorder in a parental unit and their offspring who is living with multiple birth defects. The overriding theme, in my dream, was: "The Queen, Her Royal Highness, CANNOT have anything less than perfect near her lest it makes HER look bad to HER friends, neighbors, and minions! Therefore, this walking DEFECT MUST BE DECLARED THE SCAPEGOAT and REMOVED from the ROYAL sight!"
I'll discuss the details upon request.
Bones
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Details of the dream are starting to fade and I didn't write them down. Oh well......
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And how blind was the Queen, that she focused all her pitiless eyes on birth "defects,"
and not the perfect beauty of your birth.
You grew up to know what beauty is, and you create it.
(((((((Beautiful Bones))))))))))
Hops
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And how blind was the Queen, that she focused all her pitiless eyes on birth "defects,"
and not the perfect beauty of your birth.
You grew up to know what beauty is, and you create it.
(((((((Beautiful Bones))))))))))
Hops
Thanks, (((((((((Hops))))))))))!
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Noticed something this week that has been bothering me.....
Where I live, we observe the annual Mental Health Screening Day. Last Tuesday, September 27th, I attended the training to prepare to conduct a screening at a nearby assisted living facility. (There's been at least one completed suicide at that facility.) During the training, I was informed that instead of my assisting with the Bingo Game, I would go knocking door to door and conduct the mental health screenings with each resident who answers the door and consents. (BTW, the person conducting this training is my former facilitator of the support group I used to attend. I stopped attending because I was getting the very REAL sense that she was just NOT LISTENING.)
I informed the "trainer" that I know quite a few people at the assisted living facility and it would present a serious ethical dilemma for me to go knocking on their doors, requesting to conduct a mental health screening, when I know them and they know me. The trainer made an off-hand comment and nothing more was said about the issue.
One week later at the assisted living facility, as I was meeting with the trainer's supervisor to get last minute instructions, I was, again, informed that I would be knocking on doors. I brought up my ethical issue of knowing residents and how awkward that would be for both the residents and myself to be conducting a mental health screening under these circumstances. I also made it a point of stating that I brought up this same question during the training the previous week and I repeated my question...."What is the best way to address this?" The supervisor decided that I would score the paperwork and the interns would knock on the doors. (Works for me!) I felt annoyed that, once again, I mentioned a concern to this (now-former) facilitator and, once again, SHE WAS NOT LISTENING! (This confirmed my decision to not return to the support group as long as she is in charge.)
Last night, we were conducting Part Two of the Mental Health Screening at a local grocery store. The (now-former) facilitator was there and she was acting very frostily toward me. (Made me wonder if her boss gave her an ass-chewing for not listening to me and not reporting the ethical situation to her.) Then ANOTHER ethical situation reared its ugly head as a direct result of this individual NOT LISTENING!
A person approached me and asked to be screened. As I was giving him the form and making him comfortable, I hear the (now-former) facilitator call out to this person, "Hi, (person's name)!!!" He immediately became uncomfortable and I'm thinking: "Oh, Sh*t!" The person I was screening stated that if he had known that SHE was going to be there, he would NOT have come! He also stated that he had TOLD her that he was planning on being in the grocery store during the screenings! She beat a hasty retreat and, somehow, he managed to calm down. As it turned out, he scored very high on the assessment which required that he be seen by a clinician on site. (We had only two clinicians, one of them being the NON-LISTENER.) Because the only other clinician was busy talking with another person who scored high, this gentleman had to wait. Ethically, because the NON-LISTENER knew him, she was not allowed to counsel him. My role was to screen, only, NOT counsel. The only thing I could do was keep him as comfortable as possible until the other clinician could see him. Again, I was annoyed that a situation, that could have and SHOULD HAVE been avoided was allowed to develop because this individual WOULD NOT LISTEN nor PAY ATTENTION to things that clearly demanded attention! She even created another situation when she snatched an assessment out of the hands of a person taking it, barking orders at me to score it, and the person was only HALF-DONE! I had to give it back so the person could finish filling it out! (I was so tempted to smack this ex-facilitator!)
At the end of the evening, she simply beat feet without saying anything else to anyone. :P
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A friend was asking me about the mental health screenings, that took place last week, and my role in the event. As I was thinking, the ethical issue that I had been struggling with clarified itself. Dr. G. understands what I am talking about regarding ethics and dual roles.
In this case, I am aware that many of the residents at the assisted living facility were also in my support group as participants while I was also a participant. Therefore, we knew each other and each others' sensitive issues. By having me go and knock on their doors, requesting they do a mental health screening, would put me in the dual role of: (a) being a fellow support group attendee who KNOWS them and their issues, and (b) being in the role of acting crisis intervention personnel. Those two roles would be confusing for them and extremely awkward for me. (Even though I am no longer attending the support group, I feel the following saying still applies: "Once a client, always a client."
Am I making sense? I'm not sure how else to verbalize the concept/picture that I'm seeing in my head.
Bones
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Hi Bones, both of your posts on this issue make sense to me, and I have (and have had) zero to do with mental health as a job (so this is just 'common' sense).
You're able to stand in the other person's shoes (the residents) and the twit facilitator isn't. She's an idiot Bones.
confusing for them and extremely awkward for me
makes pefect sense.
Any reason why you think you're not making sense?
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Made sense to me, Bones.
Hops
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Hi Bones, both of your posts on this issue make sense to me, and I have (and have had) zero to do with mental health as a job (so this is just 'common' sense).
You're able to stand in the other person's shoes (the residents) and the twit facilitator isn't. She's an idiot Bones.
confusing for them and extremely awkward for me
makes pefect sense.
Any reason why you think you're not making sense?
Thanks, Freshwater.
I tend to see pictures in my mind that I struggle to find words for. (Temple Grandin thinks in a similar fashion as she sees pictures rather than words). One of the other things that frustrates me about this facilitator is her habit of NOT listening. I don't know what they're teaching the "young'uns" in school nowadays but when I was working on my degrees, I was taught a concept called: "active listening" which required the mental health practitioner to PARAPHRASE what a client just said in order to confirm that the message was CLEARLY UNDERSTOOD. This facilitator has NEVER done that. She has either responded with: "What do you mean by that?" or "Thank you for sharing..." then moves on with her own agenda. As a result, I frequently felt that I had just wasted my breath and my time discussing an issue. During the training session on September 27th, she gave me the same basic responses when I brought up the ethical issues of my knocking on the doors of people who KNOW me. (Given that she is a newly-minted geriatric social worker, she SHOULD HAVE BEEN AWARE of this ethical conflict!)
Not being listened to by a professional, who SHOULD KNOW BETTER, made me feel VOICELESS AND ANGRY! :evil:
Bones
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Made sense to me, Bones.
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
Bones
-
Not being listened to by a professional, who SHOULD KNOW BETTER, made me feel VOICELESS AND ANGRY!
Well I can sympathise Bones.
Yeah, they should know better (if the world was perfect, they would).
But nobody's perfect and there a lot of fools, Ns, idiots...(choose your word)...at large. People also make mistakes. I don't think your nut here makes mistakes, I think she's a fake that nobody has either detected, or, won't get rid of.
I reckon you are justifiably angry. Where does the anger belong? Possibly with a system (and the people in it) who are allowing this person to practice.
The person themselves will just continue until someone stops them.
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Not being listened to by a professional, who SHOULD KNOW BETTER, made me feel VOICELESS AND ANGRY!
Well I can sympathize Bones.
Yeah, they should know better (if the world was perfect, they would).
But nobody's perfect and there a lot of fools, Ns, idiots...(choose your word)...at large. People also make mistakes. I don't think your nut here makes mistakes, I think she's a fake that nobody has either detected, or, won't get rid of.
I reckon you are justifiably angry. Where does the anger belong? Possibly with a system (and the people in it) who are allowing this person to practice.
The person themselves will just continue until someone stops them.
I don't know where the anger belongs. I'm just wondering how long it will take for the system, (and the people in it), to recognize what she is doing and not doing before an authority figure wises up. I get the sense that she's already gotten one ass-chewing from her supervisor when I brought the ethical issue to her attention. The reason I sense that is because the ex-facilitator acted real COLD towards me during the screening session at the grocery store. If her butt got chewed out, so be it. Ethics CANNOT be ignored!
-
Ethics CANNOT be ignored!
Bones, you get my vote.
I wish I knew more people like you, and fewer people without morals.
-
Ethics CANNOT be ignored!
Bones, you get my vote.
I wish I knew more people like you, and fewer people without morals.
Thanks, Freshwater!
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20111010
LOVED Dear Abby's response to the first letter! Made me laugh out loud! :lol:
Bones
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/house-rules-stand.html
Seems like the grandmother has a better grip on reality than the mother of the 25-year-old. Sheesh!!!!
-
Just checking in........feeling down today.
-
I'm sorry you're blue, ((((((Bones)))))
Hops
-
I'm sorry you're blue, ((((((Bones)))))
Hops
Thanks, (((((((Hops)))))))
I HATE Depression!
-
After nearly FIFTY years of being with one bank, I find that I need to make arrangements to change to a different bank. MegaNational Bank has gotten TOO BIG and TOO ARROGANT! :P
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/there-are-some-relationships-you-just-can-t-fix.html
Based on the description in the first letter, smells like a Narcissist to me!
-
:|
-
Random thoughts popping through my brain as I'm reading various posts. Not sure how they would be perceived. Just sharing from my own personal experience, for what it's worth.
Years ago, I volunteered to be in a double-blind study while having my wisdom teeth removed. This study would involve taking various medications, after the surgery, and studying their effects. (I was still an undergrad psychology student so I understood what double-blind studies entail.) I was also newly-sober at the time and understood that I needed to be responsible to protect my sobriety. I shared with these people, who were involved with the study, about my alcohol and drug history, and stated that even though we won't know which drugs would be given to me, I needed to know what classification of drugs would be involved. I gave them a list of which prescription drugs I had abused in the past during my active addiction, (e.g. benzodiazepines), and emphasized that as a recovering dual addict, (alcohol AND drugs), I could not take any medications that have addictive properties, (e.g. demerol, morphine, phenobarbitol, or other addictive narcotics that are classified as controlled substances). They went back and checked the lists of medications that they were planning on using in the study and determined that they were ALL addictive. As a result, we made a mutual decision that I would not participate in the study. The risk to my sobriety was too great to take that kind of gamble.
-
Saw a rainbow this morning.......
-
I think you made such a mature, sober (pun intended) choice there about the study...wonderful advocacy for your own well being.
And I'm happy you had a rainbow appear!
(((((Bones)))))
Hops
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I think you made such a mature, sober (pun intended) choice there about the study...wonderful advocacy for your own well being.
And I'm happy you had a rainbow appear!
(((((Bones)))))
Hops
Thanks, ((((((((Hops))))))))))
I almost didn't see the rainbow until another lady nearby yelled out: "Oh-h-h-h-h, LOOK!!!!" I looked up to where she was pointing just in time to see a brief double-rainbow before one of them faded. Nice way to start the morning! I had almost gone straight inside and would have missed it.
-
Woke up at 4:00 AM this morning. Just as well.....I had to get up at 5:00 AM to prepare to go out of town today. Will report on what happened when I get back.
-
In reading the first letter in Dear Abby, (October 16, 2011), what happened is APPALLING!!!!!!
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20111016
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Still resting and recuperating from an out-of-town trip I took yesterday as part of a CERT activity. We traveled to a military base which was about an hour to an hour-and-a-half away by chartered bus. We were informed, ahead of time, that this military base would require FULL ID in order to pass security clearance. (Can we say anti-terrorist measures and Homeland Security in the wake of 9/11?)
Bearing that in mind, our chartered bus gets to the gate and the security guard comes on board to check our IDs. One IDIOT starts to whip out their camera and the head of our group ordered the IDIOT to PUT IT AWAY!!! The IDIOT's response? "But.....I WANT TO PUT THIS ON MY FACEBOOK PAGE!" The rest of us were forced to EXPLAIN THE OBVIOUS that THIS is a MILITARY BASE and pictures of security personnel and the front gate ARE NOT PERMITTED! The IDIOT got all sulky because they got told "N-O PICTURES"!
What planet is this moron living on?!?!?!? :?
Bones
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Looking back over yesterday's experience at the Rodeo, I realized that I really couldn't do anything useful. My health issues prevent me from doing any heavy lifting and my balance has always been bad to the extent that I easily fall with twisted ankles. Being diagnosed with Osteopenia along with Hypotension complicates my ability to do anything physical. Struggling with Asperger's doesn't help any. At the end of the day, I realized that I couldn't DO anything that was useful or worthwhile and only ended up being a waste of space...in everyone's way. It feels like that old song from back in the 1960's...."Alone Again, Naturally".
Bones
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I think you're useful just by being present, Bones.
You offer support.
You observe.
You are thoughtful about emergency scenarios and you spread information.
You are brains, not just brawn.
Hops
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I think you're useful just by being present, Bones.
You offer support.
You observe.
You are thoughtful about emergency scenarios and you spread information.
You are brains, not just brawn.
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
Right now, with the way my emotions are going, it feels like brains are insufficient.
-
Even the dreams, in my sleep, remind me that I am always alone in a crowd of people.
-
Stumbled across this old column while looking for today's advice columns:
http://www.creators.com/advice/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/turd-wheel-starts-here.html
"Sue" and her mother are a total trip! :shock:
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Spotted this in today's Dear Abby: :shock: :? :shock:
DEAR ABBY: My father, who is happily married to his third wife, recently came across some photos of his first wedding to my mother in 1961. Apparently, the walk down memory lane didn't stop there for him. He asked his wife, who evidently agreed, if he could have a party to celebrate the 50th anniversary of this event.
I am appalled and kind of nauseated by the thought. Do you think I'm overreacting? I have considered refusing the invitation. Should I just suck it up, or tell my father I think the idea is narcissistic, insensitive and foolish? -- SICK TO MY STOMACH
DEAR SICK TO MY STOMACH: Your question is a first. Why your father would consider throwing a golden anniversary party to celebrate a marriage that turned to lead and "sank" is mystifying. Equally so is his current wife's willingness to go along with it.
While you and I might consider his idea to be ill-conceived, resist the urge to indulge in name-calling. Let him hear from others that the idea is narcissistic, insensitive and foolish. And, by the way, you are not obligated to accept every invitation you receive.
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I AM SO FED UP WITH BANK OF AMERICA!!!!! I AM DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :twisted: :evil: :twisted:
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:evil:
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Making a change from one bank to another is SCARY since the only account(s) I've dealt with had been with one financial institution since 1966.
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http://abcnews.go.com/US/mafia-don-bernie-madoffs-boastful-letter-angry-daughter/story?id=14777562
The boastful letter sounds Narcissistic!!!! :P :evil:
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:|
Not sure what to say.
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Spotted the following on Facebook:
No Need for Revenge
Just Sit Back and Wait
Those Who Hurt You
Will Eventually Screw Up
Themselves
And If You're Lucky
God Will Let You Watch!
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Well Bones, I've known some who deserve it and have received it and some part of me did a dance because justice sometimes seems to occur. But that was a long time ago when I cared much more about much less. I doubt I can dance any more with such .... schadenfreude. :|
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Well Bones, I've known some who deserve it and have received it and some part of me did a dance because justice sometimes seems to occur. But that was a long time ago when I cared much more about much less. I doubt I can dance any more with such .... schadenfreude. :|
I probably couldn't do that kind of dance much anymore either. My joints go snap, crackle, and pop too much!
Bones
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Stumbled across this old column while looking for today's advice columns:
http://www.creators.com/advice/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/turd-wheel-starts-here.html
"Sue" and her mother are a total trip! :shock:
This person has got to be related to my mother. Same exact tactics, except for the nomadic lifestyle.
Where is their damn school? I'd like to bomb it.
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Stumbled across this old column while looking for today's advice columns:
http://www.creators.com/advice/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/turd-wheel-starts-here.html
"Sue" and her mother are a total trip! :shock:
This person has got to be related to my mother. Same exact tactics, except for the nomadic lifestyle.
Where is their damn school? I'd like to bomb it.
LOL!!! I hear ya!!!!! These N's are all one crazy mind-trip!!!!!
Bones
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Change is scary.
Will talk about it later.
Bones
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When I was alluding to scary change, I was referring to changing banks after dealing with one financial institution for nearly 50 years and all of their name changes. Mega-National Bank has FINALLY plucked my last nerve and I knew it was time to pack up and leave. It's been a headache dealing with all of the little details and, at the same time, I know that continuing to bend over and be financially screwed with all kinds of stupid fees for no reason is an even BIGGER headache that I do NOT need!
Bones
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Well, Bones... banks are a business just like a hardware store. They've got to make money somehow or just close their doors. And even the smaller banks charge fees... as much as or even higher than the big banks.
I'm frustrated and mad, too. But the banks are only trying to survive - just like we are - in the face of ever-changing "rules" and demands and re-inventing of the definition of what a business is. Sure, they've got a lot of money... but when a bank is forced to buy another one that is in danger of going of out of business because of bad debts (some actually tried to say NO but were forced into the deals anyway)... and at the same time, forced to hold back X amount of dollars in reserve to cover those debts, plus their own operating expenses - and being held accountable for those bad loans they were forced to assume responsibility for - they are in exactly the same situation as the average householder: trying to make do within that budget and come out enough ahead that they can absorb the unexpected events of life.
I can't blame the banks for trying to survive under contradicatory, ever-changing and gaslighting circumstances. Sure it's rough on us - the customers. None of this fair, in my opinion. And much of it is even unnecessary. And it's only creating a bigger mess that will take longer - maybe past my lifetime - to sort out.
I really don't know what the answer is, either. I wish I did - I'd be jumping up & down on someone's desk, yelling, until they heard me. I'm having my own issues - but I remember what was done & said in current events of the last 3 years or so - and I don't think the banks are to blame.
That said - you have to look out for your own welfare in this kind of environment (no one is going to do this for you) and if you can find a better situation that suits you better... well, it's business. When you are getting a better deal somewhere else, shake hands, say you're sorry - it's nothing personal - it's just business and keep your fingers crossed that there's not some "gotcha" hidden within the new deal.
Good Luck!
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Well, Bones... banks are a business just like a hardware store. They've got to make money somehow or just close their doors. And even the smaller banks charge fees... as much as or even higher than the big banks.
I'm frustrated and mad, too. But the banks are only trying to survive - just like we are - in the face of ever-changing "rules" and demands and re-inventing of the definition of what a business is. Sure, they've got a lot of money... but when a bank is forced to buy another one that is in danger of going of out of business because of bad debts (some actually tried to say NO but were forced into the deals anyway)... and at the same time, forced to hold back X amount of dollars in reserve to cover those debts, plus their own operating expenses - and being held accountable for those bad loans they were forced to assume responsibility for - they are in exactly the same situation as the average householder: trying to make do within that budget and come out enough ahead that they can absorb the unexpected events of life.
I can't blame the banks for trying to survive under contradicatory, ever-changing and gaslighting circumstances. Sure it's rough on us - the customers. None of this fair, in my opinion. And much of it is even unnecessary. And it's only creating a bigger mess that will take longer - maybe past my lifetime - to sort out.
I really don't know what the answer is, either. I wish I did - I'd be jumping up & down on someone's desk, yelling, until they heard me. I'm having my own issues - but I remember what was done & said in current events of the last 3 years or so - and I don't think the banks are to blame.
That said - you have to look out for your own welfare in this kind of environment (no one is going to do this for you) and if you can find a better situation that suits you better... well, it's business. When you are getting a better deal somewhere else, shake hands, say you're sorry - it's nothing personal - it's just business and keep your fingers crossed that there's not some "gotcha" hidden within the new deal.
Good Luck!
Well, THIS particular bank is already making HUGE profits hand over fist, have NOT paid back the government bail-out money they received, (your and my tax money), and have gone public with: "We have a right to make a profit" and claiming that they are "too big to fail"! They have been raking in these HUGE profits before they announced the debit card fee crap!
Being a retiree, I can't afford being dinged with fees anymore! Especially when the attitude I was getting was: "You're not rich enough to suit us so we're going to snatch more of your money because our greed comes first!" What started me seriously thinking about changing banks was when they screwed up my deposit about a year ago. I had gotten a check and some cash from a friend to pay some of my medical bills. Whenever I stand in a line at the bank, with that kind of deposit in my hands, I tend to count it repeatedly just to have something to do with my hands and not get too restless. (In the Aspie Community, it could be called stimming.) I counted a $10.00 bill, two $5.00 bills, and five $1.00 bills, for a total of $25.00 cash, several times over while standing in line. I gave that deposit to the teller and got a receipt for the total amount of what I deposited that day.
Later, I got a phone call accusing me of not giving ANY cash and that cash amount DISAPPEARED from my bank account!!!! I went back to the bank, with my receipt in hand, and argued with that teller and she attempted to insinuate that I was old and stupid and didn't know what I was doing as well as hinted at my trying to rip her off! It took me TWO FULL MONTHS to get MY MONEY BACK and straighten out my ability to pay my medical bills!!!!! :evil: THOSE IDIOTS NEVER APOLOGIZED FOR SCREWING UP MY FINANCES!!!!
Bank being a business trying to survive?!?!?!?!? MY A$$!!!!!! :twisted:
-
Did something that I have not been able to do for a long while due to finances. I had the chance to enjoy a massage. There's a student, who lives near me, who is attending massage school and has reached the stage in her education where she needs to earn practice hours. (She's scheduled to graduate in February.) I met her at the Farmer's Market a few weeks ago where she and another student had a booth set up and they were providing chair massages to anyone who wanted them.
The chair massage is relaxing but is limited. A tabletop, full-body massage can do more, especially if you have muscle problems. Essentially, this student and I were making an exchange of a sort.....I receive a therapeutic massage and she receives an hour toward earned experience for her graduation and eventual licensure.
I must say, she's GOOD! I alerted her to the various medical issues that I live with and that I tend to suffer muscle spasms ALOT that can be crippling while they are going on. During the massage, we were able to identify specific trouble-spots and she worked on them. By the time she was done, and for the rest of the day, I felt so RELAXED!!!!! I was able to fall asleep at 9:00 PM and woke up at 6:00 AM feeling like I HAD ACTUALLY SLEPT RESTFULLY for the FIRST TIME IN YEARS!! This morning, I experienced only ONE short-lived muscle spasm in a spot the size of a quarter and it just as quickly STOPPED!!!!! Like I said, this student is GOOD!!! She should get an A++++++ for her practicum!!!!!! 8) :D 8)
Bones
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awww, Bones, I'm so glad you had that comfort.
You deserve healing touch.
So glad this happened for you.
Hops
-
Ah! I do remember that first incident with the bank in question, Bones. Yes, I understand why you're angry, too.
I've got my own points of contention with how banks are doing business now, too. It incredibly convoluted, crazymaking even. I've been thinking that maybe a mattress might make more sense... because there are now all these hoops one has to jump through to access one's own money and "interest" is joke for the normal savings accounts.
I try to put myself in the position that the banks are in - to understand what they are facing in new regulations - and that calms me down a bit. I am trying to stay up with all the current events and changes, reading so much it's almost a part-time job! How they're responding to their new rules doesn't always suit me either, and flat out doesn't make sense sometimes. That's why I suggested voting with your feet - and your money - and trying another bank. But, I'll repeat my caution about investigating their terms, rules, and fees before moving. I just read an article in a big financial publication that recommends and cautions the same thing, oddly enough. ALL the banks - in one way or another - are trying to adjust. They are making some choices that will eventually come back to haunt them - in goodwill, customer loyalty, etc.
One suggestion the article made - which might not work for you, but only you'll know that - is to try one of the online banks. Read ALL their options, and the limitations, etc so you know what you're getting into. I'm still not overly comfortable with online banking; what happens when my cable goes out or we lose power, for instance? We do have an online checking account that we like, that requires X number of debits (no fee either!) a month; and one online transaction (bill pay or deposit) a month to qualify for almost 3% interest a month, up to a specified balance limit; then the interest drops back down to 1% for any balances over that amount. You have to receive your statements, online only. The interest rate was too good to not sign up, for us. This bank is still paying US, to keep our money there and use their debit card. Different, huh?
Look into Free Checking accounts, too. They're not as popular as they used to be, but I think they're still out there. Sometimes, you can link a savings account or credit card to it, too - and rewards and overdraft protection get built into these plans/programs. A great way to compare bank offerings, is:
http://www.bankrate.com
This is an independent website that helps you compare what the banks are selling, offering, and their terms and conditions. They'll include local and regional and online banks - that one just doesn't hear about. Do your homework - it's the only way you can protect yourself!! And even then, be ready to make more adjustments later if something changes - it is just a fact of life, now. Business.
The banks didn't make these new rules. They're scrambling to try to abide by them. They're making mistakes; some banks are doing better than others; some will still fail this year. They have a bottom-line, too. People to pay and train - all those tellers and managers and advisors. Those folks are all part of the disappearing "middle-class", too.
The picture is a whole lot bigger - and messier - than just a bank being greedy or trying to avoid playing by the rules. They are screwing up sometimes; will lose some customers; will inadvertantly trangress one of the new rules -- because there are so many of them. What used to be a very simple, neighborhood-based, handshake business, one where everyone knew what the rules were because the rules had been around a long time and didn't change much at all -- where you could gossip with the tellers... just isn't that simple, any more. I do grieve that loss... because the "human" part of being in and doing business seems to getting regulated out of the process... and we don't seem to be getting enough "return on investment" for that trade-off.
-
awww, Bones, I'm so glad you had that comfort.
You deserve healing touch.
So glad this happened for you.
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
Since she needs more experiential hours, we're discussing when I can come back.
Bones
-
Ah! I do remember that first incident with the bank in question, Bones. Yes, I understand why you're angry, too.
I've got my own points of contention with how banks are doing business now, too. It incredibly convoluted, crazymaking even. I've been thinking that maybe a mattress might make more sense... because there are now all these hoops one has to jump through to access one's own money and "interest" is joke for the normal savings accounts.
I try to put myself in the position that the banks are in - to understand what they are facing in new regulations - and that calms me down a bit. I am trying to stay up with all the current events and changes, reading so much it's almost a part-time job! How they're responding to their new rules doesn't always suit me either, and flat out doesn't make sense sometimes. That's why I suggested voting with your feet - and your money - and trying another bank. But, I'll repeat my caution about investigating their terms, rules, and fees before moving. I just read an article in a big financial publication that recommends and cautions the same thing, oddly enough. ALL the banks - in one way or another - are trying to adjust. They are making some choices that will eventually come back to haunt them - in goodwill, customer loyalty, etc.
One suggestion the article made - which might not work for you, but only you'll know that - is to try one of the online banks. Read ALL their options, and the limitations, etc so you know what you're getting into. I'm still not overly comfortable with online banking; what happens when my cable goes out or we lose power, for instance? We do have an online checking account that we like, that requires X number of debits (no fee either!) a month; and one online transaction (bill pay or deposit) a month to qualify for almost 3% interest a month, up to a specified balance limit; then the interest drops back down to 1% for any balances over that amount. You have to receive your statements, online only. The interest rate was too good to not sign up, for us. This bank is still paying US, to keep our money there and use their debit card. Different, huh?
Look into Free Checking accounts, too. They're not as popular as they used to be, but I think they're still out there. Sometimes, you can link a savings account or credit card to it, too - and rewards and overdraft protection get built into these plans/programs. A great way to compare bank offerings, is:
http://www.bankrate.com
This is an independent website that helps you compare what the banks are selling, offering, and their terms and conditions. They'll include local and regional and online banks - that one just doesn't hear about. Do your homework - it's the only way you can protect yourself!! And even then, be ready to make more adjustments later if something changes - it is just a fact of life, now. Business.
The banks didn't make these new rules. They're scrambling to try to abide by them. They're making mistakes; some banks are doing better than others; some will still fail this year. They have a bottom-line, too. People to pay and train - all those tellers and managers and advisors. Those folks are all part of the disappearing "middle-class", too.
The picture is a whole lot bigger - and messier - than just a bank being greedy or trying to avoid playing by the rules. They are screwing up sometimes; will lose some customers; will inadvertantly trangress one of the new rules -- because there are so many of them. What used to be a very simple, neighborhood-based, handshake business, one where everyone knew what the rules were because the rules had been around a long time and didn't change much at all -- where you could gossip with the tellers... just isn't that simple, any more. I do grieve that loss... because the "human" part of being in and doing business seems to getting regulated out of the process... and we don't seem to be getting enough "return on investment" for that trade-off.
I've already done my homework and I'm in the process of changing banks now. I have only one or two more details left then I can tell MegaNational Bank to kiss my A$$!!!! I'm no longer willing to offer them tea and sympathy! SCREW THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Understood, Bones! Just be careful... OK?
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Understood, Bones! Just be careful... OK?
OK!
-
Which bank are you thinking of going to? I need to change, too, but apathy gets the better of me.....
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Which bank are you thinking of going to? I need to change, too, but apathy gets the better of me.....
I changed to the one that has Vikings as spokespeople, (they remind me of Monty Python). You may recognize the slogan: "What's in YOUR wallet?" So far, the way this bank treats their customers is FAR BETTER than MegaNational Bank!
Bones
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Question: What IS it about members of the male species that make it impossible for them to HEAR important information?
Yesterday, my doctor's office called me regarding the results of my bone scan. (THAT kind of call can be frightening, especially when it's not time for the appointment.) The results showed that the bones in my left hip are thinning in spite of taking Actonel every month. That means I need to increase my calcium and, at the same time, given my financial limitations, I can't afford the supplements. I immediately informed Mr. Idiot about the doctor's phone call and ASKED FOR HIS HELP, (which is NOT easy for me to do given my experiences growing up). What does he do? Shows up at my place, EMPTY-HANDED and gives me the usual bullsh*t: "I'll get 'round to it later!" That usually translates into DOING NOTHING because it's NOT important to HIM. (Never mind the fact that he has been tying up my washer and dryer for over a week, IGNORING the fact that I ALSO LIVE HERE and NEED TO DO LAUNDRY TOO!) No matter how many times I explain the OBVIOUS, he simply WILL NOT HEAR ME! (It's like talking to a CHILD!)
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This is a good time of the year to throw his laundry out on the lawn. It will be cold and nasty when he collects it.
then you should demand 2 rolls of quarters a week, since he doews not have to go to the laundromat and you are saving him all this trouble.
Not all men are like that, Bones. the trouble is, the ones that are, are like snarling, biting dogs--they fill up your space and keep the nice ones away. Is there any chance you can lose this idiot? ((((Bones)))))
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This is a good time of the year to throw his laundry out on the lawn. It will be cold and nasty when he collects it.
then you should demand 2 rolls of quarters a week, since he doews not have to go to the laundromat and you are saving him all this trouble.
Not all men are like that, Bones. the trouble is, the ones that are, are like snarling, biting dogs--they fill up your space and keep the nice ones away. Is there any chance you can lose this idiot? ((((Bones)))))
Thanks, (((((((Erin)))))))).
It would be nice to find someone who understands my situation, supports me, and help me out financially without going through a LOT of hassle repeatedly. Unfortunately, at my age, Prince Charming doesn't exist!
Bones
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But do you need that kind of irritation? What is he supplying in your life that makes him worth your while?
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But do you need that kind of irritation? What is he supplying in your life that makes him worth your while?
Right now he's paying some rent to supplement my pension. :roll:
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WHAT PLANET IS THIS FATHER LIVING ON THAT HE WOULD RISK HIS 10-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER'S SAFETY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? :shock:
DEAR ABBY: My husband recently asked how I would feel about him buying a plane ticket for his brother "Jake" to visit us and his parents over the holidays. I told him I wouldn't like it -- not because my husband would be paying for the ticket, but because Jake is a registered sex offender.
My husband is now upset with me, saying Jake "served his time." I understand that, but the underage girl he messed around with was his niece. My daughter is 10 and starting to develop. She's also affectionate with family. I don't want her hugging Uncle Jake.
My husband and I are now not speaking. He told me that if his family isn't welcome in our house, he will start treating my family badly. Am I wrong for not wanting Jake sleeping under the same roof as my daughter? -- PROTECTIVE MOM IN THE MIDWEST
DEAR PROTECTIVE MOM: No, you're not wrong. That your husband would try to blackmail you into allowing a registered sex offender to sleep in the same house as your adolescent daughter is deplorable. Your daughter is old enough to be told that Uncle Jake has a problem with young girls, and that if he ever makes a move on her, you want to know immediately.
It isn't like Jake did time for bank robbery. Sex offenders are usually prohibited from having contact with minors. The man has a sexual impulse disorder that shouldn't be ignored, and your husband should not allow any risk that your daughter might be molested.
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Where's that TV Show....STUPID CRIMINALS or AMERICA'S DUMBEST CRIMINALS?? :lol:
http://abclocal.go.com/wpvi/story?section=news/local&id=8404894
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Checking in before I head off to bed........ :|
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This sounds familiar when trying to reason with an unreasonable relative:
From "Dear Abby", October 27, 2011:
DEAR ABBY: My mom goes overboard with gifts for my two sons when she goes on vacation or when she shops for birthdays and Christmas. I have asked her to scale back and not buy them each a box full of stuff. I tried to be tactful, but she said they "expect" Grandma to give them stuff.
The problem is she gives them random things that hold no interest for them. My sons are always kind and thank her, but their rooms are packed full of toys, many never opened, because they have too much stuff.
When I asked Mom to just give the boys a book about the next place she visits, she became defensive. I don't know how to tell her in a way she'll understand that she's wasting her hard-earned money on gifts my children won't use or have no interest in. Can you help me? -- TOO MUCH STUFF IN IOWA
DEAR TOO MUCH: Try something like this: "Mom, you are a generous sweetheart, but you are giving them too much stuff. They're inundated! There are toys in their rooms that have never been opened because they have outgrown them. That's why this year we are donating the unopened ones to a homeless shelter. It hurts me to see you spend money on items the boys don't use -- so please, cut back on the number of gifts, and before spending your hard-earned money, ask me what they can use."
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:|
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Having a bit of a busy weekend with resting in between. Will talk later.
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Just checking in before heading out.
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Had two back-to-back CERT activities on two consecutive days so feeling tired at the moment.
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Had our first snow hit my area yesterday. I HATE winter!
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Advice from Jimmy Buffett: I gotta go where it's WARM!!
Any chance you could, Bones? Would you want to?
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Advice from Jimmy Buffett: I gotta go where it's WARM!!
Any chance you could, Bones? Would you want to?
I wouldn't mind going to Hawaii!!! Unfortunately, I don't have that kind of money!
Bones
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The last day of October. Where has this year gone to? :|
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Well, it's not over yet Bones!
I need every single non-holiday day between now & Jan 1 to meet my self-imposed deadline of "finishing" some boring and extremely time-consuming projects... so that I can move on to more fun things next year.
What would you like to be doing next year?
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Well, it's not over yet Bones!
I need every single non-holiday day between now & Jan 1 to meet my self-imposed deadline of "finishing" some boring and extremely time-consuming projects... so that I can move on to more fun things next year.
What would you like to be doing next year?
Thanks, P.R.
I would like to get more work for my home-based business. Right now, due to frustrating bureaucracy with Voc. Rehab., it's stuck in limbo!
Bones
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Just got my Flu shot today at the Free Clinic and thought I would encourage others to get their Flu vaccinations as well, especially if you are at risk of additional complications from the Flu and have had a medical history of such complications. Just saying......
Bones
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Can you say what kind of business, Bones?
I have a friend who's put her son through college, hung on to her house, and is still "makin' it"... with a home-based business. And today, I visited a shop that carries artsy-recycled stuff... and boy, did the creative wheels start a-churning for me!! What with winter around the corner... more space than I've ever had and cat & dog-free space to work in... well, it just might be time to make things "chust for the hail of it" - for fun - instead of being all serious and hungup about it.
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Can you say what kind of business, Bones?
I have a friend who's put her son through college, hung on to her house, and is still "makin' it"... with a home-based business. And today, I visited a shop that carries artsy-recycled stuff... and boy, did the creative wheels start a-churning for me!! What with winter around the corner... more space than I've ever had and cat & dog-free space to work in... well, it just might be time to make things "chust for the hail of it" - for fun - instead of being all serious and hungup about it.
I'm reluctant to say much about it here as it would make me too identifiable. I prefer to preserve my anonymity here.
Bones
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Just checking in..........................................
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That's OK, I do understand Bones. I just like chatting about things like that, because it always gives me ideas or possible solutions when other people chime in... things I hadn't thought of, or in quite that way. Maybe there's a group like that of other small-business folks near you that could serve that purpose for ya? Or even some informal connections with people? It doesn't have to be an organized kinda thing, I don't think, for that kind of "cross-pollination" to happen.
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That's OK, I do understand Bones. I just like chatting about things like that, because it always gives me ideas or possible solutions when other people chime in... things I hadn't thought of, or in quite that way. Maybe there's a group like that of other small-business folks near you that could serve that purpose for ya? Or even some informal connections with people? It doesn't have to be an organized kinda thing, I don't think, for that kind of "cross-pollination" to happen.
Thanks, P.R.
Right now, I'm dealing with Voc. Rehab's bureaucracy regarding the funding that was awarded to me by another program. The way this program is supposed to work is that I submit a business plan, (which I did six months ago), this program decides whether or not to fund my small business, (which they did), and award a specific amount of money that is supposed to go through Voc. Rehab., (as administrator of the funds), to my small business.
The funds have been held up, by Voc. Rehab., since May of this year and all I have gotten is one excuse/run-around after another and going nowhere fast. I've contacted my former instructor who is connected with the program that awarded the money and he has commented that there is no justification for Voc. Rehab. to sit on this for six months. (He had also spoken with them several times and, apparently, they have given him the same excuses.)
Bones
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I remember you talking about that when it first started, Bones. I am stunned and in disbelief that whatever the problem IS, it's still apparently in limbo. I wonder if the agency who awarded the money is aware you have waited this long to receive it? I mean, VoRehab can't deny you the award, can they? And how they possibly claim to be "assisting"... when in the business world, this kind of delay for something that is a.) essential to you, the client and b.) simple office procedure on their end... is simply atrocious "service".
With "assistance" like that, who needs enemies? Meh!
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I remember you talking about that when it first started, Bones. I am stunned and in disbelief that whatever the problem IS, it's still apparently in limbo. I wonder if the agency who awarded the money is aware you have waited this long to receive it? I mean, VoRehab can't deny you the award, can they? And how they possibly claim to be "assisting"... when in the business world, this kind of delay for something that is a.) essential to you, the client and b.) simple office procedure on their end... is simply atrocious "service".
With "assistance" like that, who needs enemies? Meh!
Thanks, P.R.
The agency that awarded the money is aware of what is going on. I just don't know what else to do to shake the money loose from Voc. Rehab.
Bones
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Going to a doctor's appointment in less than an hour.
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I think it's time to start looking for a new doctor....again.
The doctor's office called me the other day to confirm my appointment this morning and I had the appointment card in my hand, during the call, and it CLEARLY stated WHERE the appointment was going to be. I get to the doctor's office only to be informed that he is no longer working in that particular office and why didn't I go to the other office several miles away? I pulled out the appointment card and pointed to where they had the office address CIRCLED which was where I was standing!!!! I also informed the doctor's staff that I do NOT live anywhere near this other office and that I am NOT driving all the way over there! THIS IS THE THIRD TIME THE OFFICE STAFF HAS SCREWED UP MY APPOINTMENT!!
Now I need to look and see which general practitioners are near my home and accept my health insurance as a Preferred Provider.
SHEESH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :x :P :x
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:P
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http://news.yahoo.com/dad-caught-video-beating-daughter-needs-help-070228201.html
Sounds like this daughter is dealing with a Narcissistic Sperm-donor Rage-aholic.
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Does this sound familiar to anyone?
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20111104
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You sure spot the good ones, Bones.
I enjoy reading these links you share.
thanks!
xo
Hops
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You sure spot the good ones, Bones.
I enjoy reading these links you share.
thanks!
xo
Hops
You're welcome, Hops!
I try my best.
Bones
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Woke up a 2:00 AM and can't get back to sleep. :P
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This morning, when Mega-National Bank opened, I went in to close my checking account since I had moved everything over to a new financial institution. At first they challenged me about WHY I had made this decision and I reiterated the numerous fees that they had dinged me with along with screwing up one of my deposits, (that I had done in person), to which it took me TWO MONTHS to straighten out, and NEVER got an apology about it. Imagine my annoyance when the bank rep (1) denied that they had EVER charged me ANY fees EVER and (2) proceeded to discount, minimize, and ignore my concerns while bragging how GREAT their bank is! (I thought to myself: "My God! This is like talking to a Narcissist except this is a financial institution behaving like a Narcissist!!! :shock:)
I interrupted the bank rep and stated, firmly, that I KNOW WHAT FEES THEY HIT ME WITH, that the debit card fee was the FINAL STRAW for me and that he is completely missing the point about WHY I'm pulling my money out of their financial institution. The last statement I said was: "The most important thing you all should consider is the trust of the customer. Once you violate that trust, you DON'T GET IT BACK! YOU VIOLATED MY TRUST AND I AM GONE AFTER NEARLY FIFTY YEARS OF DEALING WITH Y'ALL!"
They stated that they were "sorry to lose me". Yeah.....Right! :P
Too little, too late!
Bones
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In the first letter, it sounds as if the letter writer is being punished for setting boundaries IN HER OWN HOME!!!!!
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20111106
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This father's head must be up his A$$!!! If any predator approached my little child like that, I'd KILL HIM!!!!! :twisted:
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/take-your-children-s-serious-claims-seriously.html
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I think the mother's head also has a major problem. Assuming that this letter is for real, what the hell is this woman doing writing to a problem page? Why isn't she at the police station reporting the jerk? And why does she say "What do you think we should do?" - can't she act alone without hubby's say-so?
Give me strength. I think the reply is too soft.
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I think the mother's head also has a major problem. Assuming that this letter is for real, what the hell is this woman doing writing to a problem page? Why isn't she at the police station reporting the jerk? And why does she say "What do you think we should do?" - can't she act alone without hubby's say-so?
Give me strength. I think the reply is too soft.
The reply is WAY TOO SOFT!!!! Where is the Common Sense?!?!?!?
Bones
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I don't know Bones. It's not very common, that's for sure.
On the other hand, I can't quickly imagine how paedophile groups, or networks, or 'rings' ever got into existence. Just quickly letting the idea cross my mind, I can't access a mindset that says: this is what I do and I'm going to link up with like-minded people so we can indulge our very evil predilection even more. And protect the group etc.
And that's because I don't know enough. I'm ignorant of the facts. I can't 'blame' people for being ignorant. And that reply to that letter shows ignorance. Or fear of paedophiles? I don't get it, but there is something going on behind the reply?
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I don't know Bones. It's not very common, that's for sure.
On the other hand, I can't quickly imagine how paedophile groups, or networks, or 'rings' ever got into existence. Just quickly letting the idea cross my mind, I can't access a mindset that says: this is what I do and I'm going to link up with like-minded people so we can indulge our very evil predilection even more. And protect the group etc.
And that's because I don't know enough. I'm ignorant of the facts. I can't 'blame' people for being ignorant. And that reply to that letter shows ignorance. Or fear of paedophiles? I don't get it, but there is something going on behind the reply?
I don't get it either. :?
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I totally agree the mother should report it to the police, family feelings be damned.
Just what does she think has likely been happening to the cousin?
People need to protect ALL kids, not just their own.
Horrible story. "Huffing and puffing" my ass.
Hops
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I totally agree the mother should report it to the police, family feelings be damned.
Just what does she think has likely been happening to the cousin?
People need to protect ALL kids, not just their own.
Horrible story. "Huffing and puffing" my ass.
Hops
I agree!!
I was FURIOUS when I read the description of the "huffing and puffing" KNOWING what he was doing in front of a child! If I were that mother, I would have ripped off that body part, with my bare hands, and rammed it down his throat for doing that to my kid! Guaranteed he would NEVER do that to another child again! :twisted:
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The wife described in the first letter has neither maternal instincts nor a heart! GEEZ!!!!
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20111107
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Just what does she think has likely been happening to the cousin?
People need to protect ALL kids, not just their own.
Exactly Hops. I think what's possibly going on behind the reply is that the agony aunt is covertly saying: "I don't think it's practical to believe the child 100%" - despite what she says about believing the daughter. ?
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Just what does she think has likely been happening to the cousin?
People need to protect ALL kids, not just their own.
Exactly Hops. I think what's possibly going on behind the reply is that the agony aunt is covertly saying: "I don't think it's practical to believe the child 100%" - despite what she says about believing the daughter. ?
And all too often, the child-victims are being ignored while the rapes continue.
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:P
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Just checking in....................
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I feel so VOICELESS today!
I've tried everything I can to COMMUNICATE with Mr. IDIOT regarding the Osteoporosis issue plus other stuff and HE SIMPLY DOES NOT HEAR ME! I am FINANCIALLY STUCK and have run out of any other possible financial options! HE JUST DOES NOT GET IT THAT I AM ON A FIXED INCOME THAT IS NOT ENOUGH TO COVER ALL OF MY MEDICAL AND REQUIRED LIVING EXPENSES!!!!!
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I'm really sorry, Bones. That kind of worry is really draining.
I wish you could sell magnificent crocheted things that bring you pleasure to make.
Hops
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I'm really sorry, Bones. That kind of worry is really draining.
I wish you could sell magnificent crocheted things that bring you pleasure to make.
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
I wish I could too.
Bones
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Regarding the first letter, I would have been FURIOUS!!!!!! :twisted:
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20111111
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I thought all her answers were wishy-washy today. As for the woman whose make co-workers were hitting on her--How freaking insensitive! I had that happen when my finance died, and the only thing to say is, "NOT NOW. NOT EVER!" They are only using her grief to her advantage, believing she would be an easy target.
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I thought all her answers were wishy-washy today. As for the woman whose make co-workers were hitting on her--How freaking insensitive! I had that happen when my finance died, and the only thing to say is, "NOT NOW. NOT EVER!" They are only using her grief to her advantage, believing she would be an easy target.
Thanks, Erin.
I couldn't help but notice that the advice columnists are often wishy-washy or miss the point. I frequently find that the comments, below the line from the readers often say more.
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Woke up W-A-Y early this morning feeling alone. It feels like the only time I exist to 3-D people is when they WANT something. After they achieve their goal, then I become invisible again.
Does that sound familiar?
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Spotted this quote on Facebook:
"Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot. I only EXIST when YOU NEED something."
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:lol: :lol: :lol:
Yeah, how about it! Last stupid argument I had with NM, she wanted to know why we never do anything fun any more. Because she only calls when she needs something!
SInce I didnt take her shopping yesterday, I have not heard from her...oh well!
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((((((((Bones))))))))))
you
have
inherent
worth
and
dignity
Hops
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:lol: :lol: :lol:
Yeah, how about it! Last stupid argument I had with NM, she wanted to know why we never do anything fun any more. Because she only calls when she needs something!
Since I didn't take her shopping yesterday, I have not heard from her...oh well!
Thanks, Erin!
Reading your description of the last stupid argument you had with NM sounds similar to the last conversation I had with NDoofus before I went NC...she started whining that I don't call her anymore. :P
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Reading today's Dear Abby.....each of these letters are really something!
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20111113
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Woke up from a WEIRD nightmare at 5:00 AM this morning and couldn't go back to sleep.
I dreamed that someone approached me about a niece that I had never met. I commented, during this dream, that I do have a niece and a nephew who do NOT know anything about me because their father, my NGCB, disappeared and all contact was cut off. I was told, "NO, you have ANOTHER sibling!" :shock: I'm arguing that I have been working on my family tree and ALL of my siblings, half-siblings, and legally adopted sibling are all accounted for. Again, I'm told "NO, you have ANOTHER sibling!", then I woke up!
JUST. PLAIN. WEIRD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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The first letter in this advice column sounds PAINFULLY FAMILIAR!!!!!!
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/unconditional-love-doesn-t-mean-anything-goes.html
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Still scratching my head about Mr. Idiot NOT listening.
Recently, Voc. Rehab. was able to arrange to get me a refurbished laptop through a non-profit program. (The only way to qualify is having a disability and needing a computer to meet your needs.) I had explained this fact to Mr. Idiot SEVERAL times. (BTW, he does NOT have a disability.) When we got to the non-profit program to pick up the refurbished laptop, Mr. Idiot looks at the supervisor of the program and asks him: "Can I have one too?" UURRGGHH!!!!! *Face-palm!*
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Have a dentist appointment this morning. I'm planning on having a L-O-N-G discussion with the dentist about how his front office staff has been screwing up appointments. Not sure what the outcome will be.
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Had another bone graft. Back on the antibiotics and ibuprofen. Surgical site hurts. ICK!!!!! :P
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Yowitch!
Glad it's behind you, Bones.
Hopes for fast healing...
Hops
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Yowitch!
Glad it's behind you, Bones.
Hopes for fast healing...
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
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Feels like one of the stitches is trying to work itself loose. :P
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This may be from being an Aspie, trying to figure out the nuances of what others say and possibly mean, which is often CONFUSING.......
I was at a meeting last week and, because the weather was a bit cool and damp, I had my winter jacket on over top of my fanny pack. (It's warmer for me that way.) One of the other people at the meeting asked me, in a round-about slangy way, if I was PREGNANT WITH A BUN IN THE OVEN!!!!! :shock: :shock:
My immediate response was: "I'M TOO OLD FOR THAT!!!! I KNOW I'M OLD AND FAT BUT GEEZY PEEZY!!!!" Left the other person speechless!!
I will NEVER be able to figure people out!!!! :?
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Just checking in.....
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Still dealing with stitches and trying to take extra precautions so that I don't accidentally rip them.....again. Sticking to soft foods and liquids as long as I can stand it.
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Feeling out of sorts this morning.
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I think the reason I'm feeling out of sorts is because next week is Thanksgiving, then the start of the Christmas Crazies!
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Just checking in......
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Having some computer problems this morning......
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Feeling REALLY DOWN today!
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Anything in particular causing this Bones? or just "everything"?
Our weather seems to be zigzagging between Indian Summer and the onset of winter... and the chilly, gray days are inducing fantasies of curling up under a blanket on the couch with a large cup of tea & a good book. I might just go that - it sounds pretty good!
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Anything in particular causing this Bones? or just "everything"?
Our weather seems to be zigzagging between Indian Summer and the onset of winter... and the chilly, gray days are inducing fantasies of curling up under a blanket on the couch with a large cup of tea & a good book. I might just go that - it sounds pretty good!
Thanks, P.R.
It feels like a combination of EVERYTHING....the bone graft, the stitches, the coming holidays, the cold, damp, weather, PTSD, feeling isolated, having PLENTY of acquaintances but NO 3-D people that are genuinely DEPENDABLE should I land back in the hospital again, etc., etc., etc. YUCK!! :P
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I'm thinking I may have to go to a restaurant, alone, on Thanksgiving Day, if there's a place open. I don't want to be stuck home alone again.
Bones
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I'd go to a nursing home and just hold hands with somebody so out of it they can't talk.
I know touching helps and since I don't get enough touch, I'd "steal it" by giving it.
Seems how it works, anyway.
I had so many moments in the nursing home when I went every day...just
kept thinking for so many of those abandoned folks, just holding their hands
for a while, gentle touch, a little shoulder pat...kind of gentle leaning the way
a companionable dog does...that quiet way of conveying, I'm here with you...
Is a really good way to get through a lonely hour.
xo
Hops
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You know, I always wondered why people went nutsy with cleaning, christmas decorations, baking, etc - of course I worked 12 hr days in retail back then & tried to do all that, too! And I now, I'm wondering if by keeping busy (want tos; not the have tos)... people were trying to find a way to escape the winter blahs?? Just until the days started getting longer again and there was a minute or two more of light each day?
I don't mind hibernating and can finally just be lazy, if that's what I need on a particular day. What I've noticed is that this helps me as I'm getting into a new rhythm and new routines and need more energy just to do that... so it's like 1-2 days of energizer bunny work; 1/2 day ensconced on the couch with kitties, tea, throw and media (and allowing my eyes to drift shut).
I've had to have a serious "talk" with myself about how I'm not 30 anymore and it's wacko to expect myself to be able to go-go-go all the time, like I used to. I've had to do the image of a 2x4 upside my head... to beat into it the idea that YES, my ankle and sciatic nerve are acting up again... BECAUSE I'm trying to do too much and simply not stretching everyday, like I know I should. And that when it hurts (I've had some tooth issues, too)... well, damn it - it hurts and if I don't "take care of myself" no one else is going to. That's when I can hear the little voice saying... I want my mommy!!!
And that's become a running joke in our house - we need a mommy to take care of us. A GOOD mommy... sometimes even just acknowledging that is enough to "carry on". And we find ways to take care of each other... and get through those mommy-moments. And neither of us, is very good at "asking" for help... so it can be pretty comical at times. But hey - I gotta brag! - hubs did the dishes two days in a row, without me asking! (Though I have been talking to him about how if he helps out more with the normal chores, I'll have more time to pay attention to him.... for 10 years, I've been talking! He's used to being spoiled by a good mommy... and I'm still running a deficit in that area.)
I'd say, from your list, Bones... you're having a "mommy moment". Now, you just need one other person - in 3D - who's willing and able to be "mommy" for you for a day, in return for the same, when they need it. You probably don't want to suggest that, this way, in so many words though!!!! I wonder if you could simply ask one of those acquaintances to just come keep you company for an afternoon? That's how acquaintances slide over to the friends column... play cards, have tea, just hang out...
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I'd go to a nursing home and just hold hands with somebody so out of it they can't talk.
I know touching helps and since I don't get enough touch, I'd "steal it" by giving it.
Seems how it works, anyway.
I had so many moments in the nursing home when I went every day...just
kept thinking for so many of those abandoned folks, just holding their hands
for a while, gentle touch, a little shoulder pat...kind of gentle leaning the way
a companionable dog does...that quiet way of conveying, I'm here with you...
Is a really good way to get through a lonely hour.
xo
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
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You know, I always wondered why people went nutsy with cleaning, christmas decorations, baking, etc - of course I worked 12 hr days in retail back then & tried to do all that, too! And I now, I'm wondering if by keeping busy (want tos; not the have tos)... people were trying to find a way to escape the winter blahs?? Just until the days started getting longer again and there was a minute or two more of light each day?
I don't mind hibernating and can finally just be lazy, if that's what I need on a particular day. What I've noticed is that this helps me as I'm getting into a new rhythm and new routines and need more energy just to do that... so it's like 1-2 days of energizer bunny work; 1/2 day ensconced on the couch with kitties, tea, throw and media (and allowing my eyes to drift shut).
I've had to have a serious "talk" with myself about how I'm not 30 anymore and it's wacko to expect myself to be able to go-go-go all the time, like I used to. I've had to do the image of a 2x4 upside my head... to beat into it the idea that YES, my ankle and sciatic nerve are acting up again... BECAUSE I'm trying to do too much and simply not stretching everyday, like I know I should. And that when it hurts (I've had some tooth issues, too)... well, damn it - it hurts and if I don't "take care of myself" no one else is going to. That's when I can hear the little voice saying... I want my mommy!!!
And that's become a running joke in our house - we need a mommy to take care of us. A GOOD mommy... sometimes even just acknowledging that is enough to "carry on". And we find ways to take care of each other... and get through those mommy-moments. And neither of us, is very good at "asking" for help... so it can be pretty comical at times. But hey - I gotta brag! - hubs did the dishes two days in a row, without me asking! (Though I have been talking to him about how if he helps out more with the normal chores, I'll have more time to pay attention to him.... for 10 years, I've been talking! He's used to being spoiled by a good mommy... and I'm still running a deficit in that area.)
I'd say, from your list, Bones... you're having a "mommy moment". Now, you just need one other person - in 3D - who's willing and able to be "mommy" for you for a day, in return for the same, when they need it. You probably don't want to suggest that, this way, in so many words though!!!! I wonder if you could simply ask one of those acquaintances to just come keep you company for an afternoon? That's how acquaintances slide over to the friends column... play cards, have tea, just hang out...
Thanks, P.R.
Every 3-D person I know are all busy with their own families, their own things, etc. It's not for lack of asking and/or lack of trying on my part. Already been there, done that. Decades ago, neighbors were neighborly. Not anymore, not in this day and age. *Sigh!* :?
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Another thing that just hit me....today, November 22nd, is the anniversary of JFK's assassination and tomorrow, is the anniversary of the NGCB being shot and almost dying, with Thursday being the anniversary of watching a murder committed live on television. Through all of that, in 1963, I was tormented and tortured by the NQueen for DARING to feel ANY emotions about any of this! I encountered the same attitude when Martin Luther King and RFK were assassinated in 1968.
If it wasn't centered on HER, then it didn't exist! WTF?!?!?!? :?
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I HATE November!
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I hear you, Bones.
Holiday loneliness is the pits.
Last year despite all my declarations to myself of detachment, my effort to be immune just collapsed.
Christmas Eve day I wound up raking leaves alone. A kind neighbor came with a little basket
of cookies and I just bawled.
I did get invited somewhere (a new church acquaintance) for Tgiving, but now I have developed a
bad cold...so I'm going to stay home and stream Netflix while my nose streams. Tgiving's not so bad,
I like the thoughts of gratitude...and FORTUNATELY, Tgiving is just one day, one meal! It doesn't
drag on throughout the entire **ing month, so much.
My D did not respond to my message asking if I should come down there (now she's 3 hours away)
and take her to dinner. And now I'm sick so that's that.
Xmas, same plan as last year...walking dogs at SPCA. A movie. Maybe Chinese food with that
same friend again.
Uggh. At least there's still sacred music, one candle lit. No peace on earth...
OCCUPY CHRISTMAS!
Hops
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I hear you, Bones.
Holiday loneliness is the pits.
Last year despite all my declarations to myself of detachment, my effort to be immune just collapsed.
Christmas Eve day I wound up raking leaves alone. A kind neighbor came with a little basket
of cookies and I just bawled.
I did get invited somewhere (a new church acquaintance) for Tgiving, but now I have developed a
bad cold...so I'm going to stay home and stream Netflix while my nose streams. Tgiving's not so bad,
I like the thoughts of gratitude...and FORTUNATELY, Tgiving is just one day, one meal! It doesn't
drag on throughout the entire **ing month, so much.
My D did not respond to my message asking if I should come down there (now she's 3 hours away)
and take her to dinner. And now I'm sick so that's that.
Xmas, same plan as last year...walking dogs at SPCA. A movie. Maybe Chinese food with that
same friend again.
Uggh. At least there's still sacred music, one candle lit. No peace on earth...
OCCUPY CHRISTMAS!
Hops
I did get an offer to go to the Teppanyaki Grill and Buffet tomorrow. Good food and non-traditional. Looking forward to trying that in spite of the stitches I still have in my mouth. If they break, they break. It's been a week and a half since the bone graft so there should be no chance of bleeding if the stitches rupture during chewing. (I hope.)
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I probably should mention that some other friends took me to this restaurant this past Saturday. It's has all kinds of cuisine from Chinese to Japanese to regular old American. AND IT HAS A CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN!!! WOO-HOO!!! :lol:
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Can one swim in it?
I vote for that!
ENJOY your feast, Bones...
xo
Hops
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Can one swim in it?
I vote for that!
ENJOY your feast, Bones...
xo
Hops
LOL!!! I wish!!! Thanks, Hops. I'm looking forward to it.
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Does the following scenario sound familiar?
"DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Louis," is retired. I'm in school studying law, which means heavy reading assignments, tons of projects and a tremendous amount of homework. It's like a full-time job.
At night when I should be studying, Louis gets upset if I don't knock off by 9 or 9:30. He also gets upset if I start before 9 in the morning. He has never asked me what I need from him to help me accomplish what I have to do. He also never asks what I'm doing in my classes without turning around and accusing me of doing the professor's job. This pattern is repeated several times a week, his blowing up because I don't spend more time with him and less on my studies.
Abby, this man insists he has never been so much in love, and that's why he wants to spend so much time with me. I think he should show his love by supporting me in challenging times. Your opinion? -- ROSE IN WASHINGTON
DEAR ROSE: Your boyfriend is self-centered. He's clearly less interested in your interests than in his own. Law school is challenging, even when a student doesn't have someone trying to sabotage her efforts -- which Louis appears to be doing morning and night. You have an important decision to make about your future, because your law degree is likely to last longer than your relationship with Louis, and that's what I think you should put first even if it means ending the "romance.""
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BTW, got the chance to play with the CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN today and discovered an unexpected surprise at the restaurant......LOBSTER!!!!!! :D
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oooohhhh... lobster sounds like a great substitute fo the Normal Rockwell turkey scene, Bones. I'm also having seafood & bambi BBQ... and hubs is waiting for me to get offline, so we can go.
My D sent me a link to a video on Huffington Post today - a long time culinary teacher said about the rigamarole of T'giving: Just put the F'ing turkey in the oven!! There's more than that; it's hilarious... if you've gone to those lengths to make dinner & fussed over it being perfect. You should look it up - you can search on Tante Marie or the risque title of the video.
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oooohhhh... lobster sounds like a great substitute fo the Normal Rockwell turkey scene, Bones. I'm also having seafood & bambi BBQ... and hubs is waiting for me to get offline, so we can go.
My D sent me a link to a video on Huffington Post today - a long time culinary teacher said about the rigamarole of T'giving: Just put the F'ing turkey in the oven!! There's more than that; it's hilarious... if you've gone to those lengths to make dinner & fussed over it being perfect. You should look it up - you can search on Tante Marie or the risque title of the video.
LOL!!!
I like the non-traditional fare. It was FUN at the restaurant with a choice of so many different cuisines! By the time we were done, we were waddling outta there!
Bones
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Glad to hear you had a nice Thanksgiving Bones.
Man, I will remember that if I ever have to send out Holiday cards I might want to make some that say exactly that "Just put the F'ing Turkey in the Oven". That's great.
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Glad to hear you had a nice Thanksgiving Bones.
Man, I will remember that if I ever have to send out Holiday cards I might want to make some that say exactly that "Just put the F'ing Turkey in the Oven". That's great.
LOL! Thanks, Boat.
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Spotted these letters in today's Dear Abby:
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20111125
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Just came across an apt description for the abuse I've experienced....being someone's pinata!
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/when-dna-doesn-t-figure-in.html
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Just checking in......
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Getting ready to hit the hay..........
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Woke up this morning feeling as if I were on the verge of an anxiety attack and I don't know why. A cup of coffee seemed to calm me down. Trying to figure out if this is PTSD or caffeine withdrawal. (Really shouldn't be having ANY caffeine, according to the doctor and, at the same time, I do NOT want to go back on the merry-go-round of pharmaceuticals/drug tolerance crap. Been limiting my coffee to only one cup, once a day, only in the EARLY morning once I'm already up. For some reason, the morning caffeine dose seems to ease my depression.)
Bones
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Some people may think this is weird or strange, but I have been doing some spiritual explorations outside of my own religious upbringing, if one can call it that.
To give a little bit of background....when I was a kid, I was forced to attend Sunday School at a Methodist church that was more focused on appearances than on the spiritual development of its congregation, (sound familiar?). Back then, if you were NOT Methodist, NOT white enough, NOT rich enough, etc., you were NOT welcome there! In spite of this, I was still forced, by the NWomb-Donor, to attend and be on the receiving end of hostility from the "clique" of old, monied, ladies which turned me off to organized religion in general at a very young age. The NWomb-Donor wanted to pretend that she was better than the "clique" and I couldn't help but feel like a pawn in their war games.
In recent years, I have felt like something is missing and, at the same time, I just don't feel comfortable dealing with organized religions because my belief system does not fit anything. To try to describe my belief system, it combines elements from Protestantism, Catholicism, and Judaism, taking what I need and leaving the rest that I do NOT agree with...and there is a LOT that I do NOT agree with in regards to the Protestant and Catholic approaches. I do not know enough about the Jewish faith and I've only had fleeting exposure here and there through schoolmates who included me in Passover or Shabbat. Lately, I have been digging deeper into the Old Testament to try to find a better understanding between me and my Higher Power, as I understand God. I've been doing this privately as I've caught flak from Know-It-All's who try to dictate to me which parts of my own Bible I am ALLOWED to read...meaning that according to THEM, I SHOULD be PERMITTED to READ ONLY the New Testament and I SHOULD IGNORE the Old Testament. For the record, I do NOT agree with these Know-It-All's as they seem to forget that Jesus, Himself, was born according to Jewish Scripture and Prophecy and was raised according to Jewish Law. I want to understand what that is given that the Methodist Social Club NEVER discussed ANYTHING about this most basic foundation.
As I continue reading, I vaguely remember learning about Sukkoth Booths along with Purim, somewhere, and have developed more curiosity about other celebrations such as Hannukah. This year, Hannukah and Christmas kinda/sort of overlap during the same week. Interestingly enough, through an exchange program in my community, I've been given a beautiful menorah and candles. This has piqued my curiosity to know more so I've been looking up the history behind the Festival of Lights.
As I've mentioned, I have been exploring this, alone, because I get so tired of catching flak from Know-It-All's who want to play religious politics and beat me over the head with what I SHOULD think and/or believe as if they are the "thought police".
I'll quit rambling for now.
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Wherever you find spiritual beauty, comfort and strength is GOOD, Bones, imo...
Good for you for searching.
xo
Hops
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Wherever you find spiritual beauty, comfort and strength is GOOD, Bones, imo...
Good for you for searching.
xo
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
I also want to understand Jesus better too, given how He was raised. Getting the bigger picture feels comforting somehow.
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There was an interesting book that I read about Jesus written by Anne Rice. It's fictional of course but doesn't seem too fictional, it is her creative interpretation of what has been researched. It has nothing to do with vampires, was from a very interesting perspective. "Christ the Lord" and there is one called "Road to Cana" that I think is the second book. I only read the first one and enjoyed it.
The first book is about Jesus's childhood. Since it's an Ann Rice book it is very different then any sort of religious text that tells you what to believe she doesn't do that at all, instead she takes the reader through a journey of what LIFE may have been like for Mary and Jesus as a little boy and both of them coming to the realization of what his destiny would be...although I'm sure some would argue that Jesus always knew what his destiny was. I seem to remember there was a lot of clandestine secrecy about him as a child and he needed to be protected by these biblical people who of course had great character...
Anyways, I read it a long time ago and I remember it being so atmospheric and hey I might go get the second book that I didn't read out of the library now that I'm reminded of it.
I know this is probably not what you meant by wanting to understand Jesus but it might give you some inspiration.
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There was an interesting book that I read about Jesus written by Anne Rice. It's fictional of course but doesn't seem too fictional, it is her creative interpretation of what has been researched. It has nothing to do with vampires, was from a very interesting perspective. "Christ the Lord" and there is one called "Road to Cana" that I think is the second book. I only read the first one and enjoyed it.
The first book is about Jesus's childhood. Since it's an Ann Rice book it is very different then any sort of religious text that tells you what to believe she doesn't do that at all, instead she takes the reader through a journey of what LIFE may have been like for Mary and Jesus as a little boy and both of them coming to the realization of what his destiny would be...although I'm sure some would argue that Jesus always knew what his destiny was. I seem to remember there was a lot of clandestine secrecy about him as a child and he needed to be protected by these biblical people who of course had great character...
Anyways, I read it a long time ago and I remember it being so atmospheric and hey I might go get the second book that I didn't read out of the library now that I'm reminded of it.
I know this is probably not what you meant by wanting to understand Jesus but it might give you some inspiration.
Thanks, Boat. I'll look it up.
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I'm checking to see if my local library has a copy of this book.
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Getting ready to log off and head for bed........
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The second letter in Dear Abby sounds VERY familiar!
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20111129
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Trying to cheer myself up today, or, in George Harrison's words, Cheer Down? Today, November 29, 2011, is the 10th Anniversary of George's Home-going and I miss his wacky sense of humor and the music he was always creating. I miss his presence in this world even though I know he's gone to a better place.
Bones
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Just checking in.........
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The coming month is going to be rough with all the holiday stuff going on. One party I am not planning on attending involves a game called "The Yankee Swap". I've come to realize that I just DON'T like playing that kind of game and don't want to participate in it anymore.
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Join you on the roof for a hearty Bah Humbug Chorus any time, Bones...
(Though I do love the sacred music. What the heck. This year I may just get into it, all by myself.)
If I can't beat it, might as well enjoy it.
But it's about the whole humann PHamily and my hopes for peace--not Family, for me...the day itself I will prepare to spend alone. It'll be fine.
Movies and cocoa, we'll get through!
xxoo
Hops
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Join you on the roof for a hearty Bah Humbug Chorus any time, Bones...
(Though I do love the sacred music. What the heck. This year I may just get into it, all by myself.)
If I can't beat it, might as well enjoy it.
But it's about the whole humann PHamily and my hopes for peace--not Family, for me...the day itself I will prepare to spend alone. It'll be fine.u
Movies and cocoa, we'll get through!
xxoo
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
Even dealing with the whole Human PHamily can be a pain in the butt. (Screen during weird jumpy stuff. Will post more later.)
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Checking in.....
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Trying to step outside my comfort zone, again, filling out another application for a position on my homeowners association board for 2012. The first time I submitted it, today, it was pointed out that I forgot to mention what I'm currently doing in the community that they have been observing me doing. I guess I was so busy doing that it didn't occur to me that I should mention anything.
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Someone wants you on their team Bones. Because you're an asset, a do-er, a get-things-done person, not some face-time person just doing it for the resume.
You get to choose (maybe!) at some point IF you want to be on the team. People who are recruiting sometimes forget that the applicant has a choice too.
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Someone wants you on their team Bones. Because you're an asset, a do-er, a get-things-done person, not some face-time person just doing it for the resume.
You get to choose (maybe!) at some point IF you want to be on the team. People who are recruiting sometimes forget that the applicant has a choice too.
True. Thanks, Freshwater. I hadn't thought of it with that aspect.
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Feeling a bit irritated this morning.
One of the committees I'm on seem to be spinning its wheels and doing nothing else. Two of the members, who are also on the board, have been communicating privately about what the committee should do and then announcing their decision to the rest of the committee, after the fact, without any further discussion.
Is it just me or does this feel WRONG?
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Well, Bones - without a specific context it's hard to know, from where I sit.
As long as - once they announce their "decision" about what to do, they present it to the whole committee for discussion and decision... that might just give the "spinning wheels" some traction; might be a good thing.
On the other hand, if it's being announced as a "done deal" with no other input allowed... well, then it's either what's generally called "leadership" -- or a "power grab". Committees don't have to accept either one of these, if they can outvote the two who are speaking up.
(see: US Congress) -- LOL!!!
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Well, Bones - without a specific context it's hard to know, from where I sit.
As long as - once they announce their "decision" about what to do, they present it to the whole committee for discussion and decision... that might just give the "spinning wheels" some traction; might be a good thing.
On the other hand, if it's being announced as a "done deal" with no other input allowed... well, then it's either what's generally called "leadership" -- or a "power grab". Committees don't have to accept either one of these, if they can outvote the two who are speaking up.
(see: US Congress) -- LOL!!!
Thanks, P.R.
What is irritating is the announcement of a "done deal". Case in point: the committee was planning on a "Game Night" and I was suggesting various games that I have to bring as well as being on the look out for games to add. At the last minute, the chair of the committee sends an e-mail announcing that after conferring with ONE OTHER committee member, (and no one else), it was decided to CANCEL the game night! (Both the chair and this one-other member are also on the HOA board.) I felt like I had done all of that effort for NOTHING! (The committee has at least five to six people and the others said nothing.) Yesterday, I sent a provocative e-mail to all the members of the committee asking if they really want to plan a holiday party or do they really care? (Yes, I went there after trying to discuss this rationally since August and my patience ran out.)
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Computer was acting up this morning......
On top of that, the car is acting up too.....
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Also woke up with a bad dream this morning, which started the day wrong.
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Not in a good place this morning.
The car is acting up and I'm concerned that the repair bill is going to be over a $1,000 or the mechanic won't be interested in working on an old car. (I'm no longer in a position to consider a replacement due to finances, aging, and health.)
Spotted the following in today's Dear Abby:
DEAR ABBY: My husband brought me roses the day our divorce was final. We had been married almost 30 years. When I asked him why, he said, "Aren't you happy? Isn't this what you wanted?" He was the one who initiated the divorce. What kind of man would do this? -- STUMPED IN FLORIDA
DEAR STUMPED: Someone who is angry or sadistic, or one who got his wires seriously crossed.
The ex-husband sounds like a Narcissistic Gaslighter to me.
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Turns out the battery is dying, the alternator is going, the belt is bad and the front axle is also going. UGH!
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Tried to sit for a while, in the nearby Micky D's while the car was being worked on but the noise level reached the point of sensory overload and I couldn't take sitting there anymore. When I first went in, I spotted a couple of rug-rats making a LOT of noise so I made it a point to sit as far away from the noise as possible so I could eat in relative peace. Next thing I knew, the rug-rats came over to where I was sitting and proceeded to bang on the back of my seat while vocalizing "Bang! Pow!", etc. Where were the parental units? I haven't a clue. Turning around and giving them the evil eye didn't do a thing. By that point, my nerves were done.
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Oh Bones. Sounds like a horrid day.
I'm really sorry about your car. I know that aging-vehicle fear. I downscaled my car so much my "replacement" will be a skateboard.
I wonder if carrying those little foam earplugs would come in handy for those times when noise is just One Stressor Too Many?
Hops
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Oh Bones. Sounds like a horrid day.
I'm really sorry about your car. I know that aging-vehicle fear. I downscaled my car so much my "replacement" will be a skateboard.
I wonder if carrying those little foam earplugs would come in handy for those times when noise is just One Stressor Too Many?
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
I've tried the earplugs before but they didn't help much. They wouldn't have done much good given that I could feel the rug-rats banging on the back of my seat. :P
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Just checking in this morning......
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Just checking in.............
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The first letter brings up some rough memories:
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20111208
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Well, Bones - without a specific context it's hard to know, from where I sit.
As long as - once they announce their "decision" about what to do, they present it to the whole committee for discussion and decision... that might just give the "spinning wheels" some traction; might be a good thing.
On the other hand, if it's being announced as a "done deal" with no other input allowed... well, then it's either what's generally called "leadership" -- or a "power grab". Committees don't have to accept either one of these, if they can outvote the two who are speaking up.
(see: US Congress) -- LOL!!!
Thanks, P.R.
What is irritating is the announcement of a "done deal". Case in point: the committee was planning on a "Game Night" and I was suggesting various games that I have to bring as well as being on the look out for games to add. At the last minute, the chair of the committee sends an e-mail announcing that after conferring with ONE OTHER committee member, (and no one else), it was decided to CANCEL the game night! (Both the chair and this one-other member are also on the HOA board.) I felt like I had done all of that effort for NOTHING! (The committee has at least five to six people and the others said nothing.) Yesterday, I sent a provocative e-mail to all the members of the committee asking if they really want to plan a holiday party or do they really care? (Yes, I went there after trying to discuss this rationally since August and my patience ran out.)
Update:
Holiday party has been cancelled due to lack of interest from others. :P
I'm PISSED as I was looking forward to something, ANYTHING, pleasant during this time of year to take my mind off of not having anyone around to festivate with. (I'm sick of the commercials that promote FAMILY, FAMILY, FAMILY!)
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Ignore the 'family' conspiracy Bones! It doesn't exist.
My simple plan at the moment is to have a treat on standby - possibly hot chocolate with a shot of brandy, topped with sweet cream out of a can. I'm looking forward to it.
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Ignore the 'family' conspiracy Bones! It doesn't exist.
My simple plan at the moment is to have a treat on standby - possibly hot chocolate with a shot of brandy, topped with sweet cream out of a can. I'm looking forward to it.
I understand FW.
For me, however, booze is not a solution.
On top of it all, I just learned from my next door neighbor that his kitty, that I LOVE to cuddle and baby, had to be put to sleep because his kidneys completely failed. NOT happy! :( :(
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Hiya Bones!
I think what FW was getting at, is that you're allowed to have your own special treat (whatever suits you) and enjoy that bit of Christmas cheer... regardless of what does/doesn't happen according to plan or expectation. I don't know about y'all... but I'm finding myself just a tad emotionally needy the closer we get to that "Day". I've been trying to spread my Christmas over the whole time frame from Thanksgiving on... a little here; a little there and spread it out... instead of trying to compress everything into a really short, overtaxing timeframe whirlwind of too much food; too many people, way too many kids, and other people's "rules" about how the holidays are supposed to be.
The world is probably going to be a lot safer (and more pleasant) if I figure out what it is I need and fulfill that... and improvise as needed. Very little goes according to plan this time of year. I'm better off not fighting that and trying to just relax, take care of myself and enjoy myself... even if how I do that would be considered rather eccentric. Do silly things just for yourself to enjoy - it does help.
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Hiya Bones!
I think what FW was getting at, is that you're allowed to have your own special treat (whatever suits you) and enjoy that bit of Christmas cheer... regardless of what does/doesn't happen according to plan or expectation. I don't know about y'all... but I'm finding myself just a tad emotionally needy the closer we get to that "Day". I've been trying to spread my Christmas over the whole time frame from Thanksgiving on... a little here; a little there and spread it out... instead of trying to compress everything into a really short, overtaxing timeframe whirlwind of too much food; too many people, way too many kids, and other people's "rules" about how the holidays are supposed to be.
The world is probably going to be a lot safer (and more pleasant) if I figure out what it is I need and fulfill that... and improvise as needed. Very little goes according to plan this time of year. I'm better off not fighting that and trying to just relax, take care of myself and enjoy myself... even if how I do that would be considered rather eccentric. Do silly things just for yourself to enjoy - it does help.
Thanks, P.R.
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Just posting an observation here after watching a case on America's Court with Judge Ross.
I'm listening to the litigants in one case and the defendant is CLEARLY A NARCISSIST, insisting EVERYTHING MUST CIRCULATE AROUND HER! The behaviors she admitted to were absolutely outrageous, (e.g. pulling down her pants and mooning guests at her sister's engagement party)! :shock: She insisted she wanted to show off her new tattoo that happened to be on her butt! (Give me a break! :P) At one point, the judge told the defendant that the engagement party and subsequent wedding of the plaintiff/sister IS/WAS NOT ABOUT THE DEFENDANT! (Helloooo, Narcissist Defendant!) The judge labeled the relationship between the litigants as "sibling rivalry" and awarded the plaintiff only half what she was suing for, given how much DAMAGE the Narcissist Defendant caused, which was at least $1,500 for starters. (What planet is he living on or maybe he's never encountered Narcissistic Personality Disorder before.)
Those of us who have dealt with Narcissists disrupting events in order to grab attention know what a pain in the butt the situation really is!
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Checking in...............................
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Woke up at 6:00 AM feeling BLAH!!!! :P
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It's this weather system, Bones... windy, drizzly, low barometer...
I've been fighting sinus and head cold type stuff for a week now. It can't decide whether to settle in and make me "sick"... or just keep me on the edge of it. One day it's 70, then it's only 50... I don't know how to dress, except in layers I can peel off.
I should've gotten grapefruit juice yesterday. And tea. My immune system isn't as strong as it should be... so little fluctuations in the weather... little stresses even... are kinda magnified.
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It's this weather system, Bones... windy, drizzly, low barometer...
I've been fighting sinus and head cold type stuff for a week now. It can't decide whether to settle in and make me "sick"... or just keep me on the edge of it. One day it's 70, then it's only 50... I don't know how to dress, except in layers I can peel off.
I should've gotten grapefruit juice yesterday. And tea. My immune system isn't as strong as it should be... so little fluctuations in the weather... little stresses even... are kinda magnified.
Yup.
That is EXACTLY what it feels like!
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Checking in......
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This song is one of the MOST POWERFUL I have ever encountered:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7M9wkv8gwRo
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This song has helped me in my growth.
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Getting ready to sign off for the night............
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Checking in.......................
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Here...........................
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A little while ago, I received a FB posting from an N who was trying to start up her own brand of SOS, (Same Old Sh*t), that she has been doing for over 25 years. I've come to recognize the pattern...she creates a situation, is warned about the consequences if she continues down that path, insists that it doesn't apply to her because she's "different", then whines that she's the "poor innocent victim" when the consequences bite her in the butt. Rinse, repeat. I recognize her attempts at fishing for Narcissistic Supply and I've made it a point to NOT say anything that she wants me to say.
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here.....
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Hey - how's your cold? Better?
I'm going down for the count this morning... but not before I shove a zicam in my mouth.
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Hey - how's your cold? Better?
I'm going down for the count this morning... but not before I shove a zicam in my mouth.
Hi, P.R.
I hope you're feeling better soon.
I feel about the same.
It's BARELY dawn here and I have this crazy cardinal banging into my windows, demanding attention. I've put up a scarecrow to try to dissuade him from waking me up again like that but it doesn't faze this bird!
Bones
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I've heard that taping another bird silhouette to the window works... but it didn't work for me. Maybe a cat instead?
Shortly after we moved in here, I heard banging from a back bedroom. I was shocked to see a Piliated Woodpecker - which is a sizable bird - clinging to the window and pecking at his reflection. I shooed him, and he hasn't been back. (ahhhhhh-chooooo!)
The thing that makes me nutz, is our squirrels can actually climb the exterior stucco walls. Reminds me of the sound of mice. And they just laugh and wave their tails at me or drop acorns & hickory nuts on my head. (more ahhh-choos... sigh.) Of course, we live in the "wild kingdom" - not what you think of as a beach environment...
I've seen bald eagles; river otters; we have a pack of gorgeous foxes - they'd make great coats, but they're just too adorable; our over-friendly one who'd play with us is nowhere to be found... these guys keep their distance. I'm hoping I get to see the kits in the spring. Then there's the resident herd of deer - including a nice 8 pt. buck, quite a few baby bucks, and loads of babies - who eat all the expensive landscaping in people's yards. So, it's common to see shrubs and flower beds all caged in. After Irene, we also had a nice black bear come visit from the mainland... then he went over to Southern Shores for a day-trip... before swimming back here and back to the mainland. It's quite a swim across the sound! We have all kinds of waterfowl - and are a migratory flightpath stop for a lot of species. Herons, osprey, cormorants, 1000s of different seagulls, bluebirds, martins, lots of woodland species, hummers, pelicans, ducks & even swans from time to time. We have lots of lizard-y type creatures most of the year, too... skinks, cameleons, and bigger guys - they're harmless; but I could've done without the 3 baby cottonmouths we killed in the pool area (and scooped out of the pool) after the hurricane. The black snakes are big enough to not bother me much... but I think hubs is Indiana Jones' brother - he hates snakes. Been bitten too many times. Dragonflies... and butterflies... and beetles/bugs from another planet that I can't identify.
Good thing I used to live in West ByGod... I'm used to all this nature, but even out in the boonies we weren't as over-run as this place feels like. Oh yeah - I forgot - last summer they had to come relocate the beavers that took up residence in our ponds. Now, if I could just figure out how to grow stuff in sand... I am working on some leaf mold piles, but at the moment all those are, are mosquito habitat. It hasn't gotten cold enough yet to do more than just slow them down.
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Thanks, P.R. I envy you with all the wildlife you have. We have muskrats and, occasionally, foxes, raccoons, opossums, and beavers around here. Canada Geese are always around. Once in a while, I'll see whitetail deer which is surprising given that we are in the suburbs of a major city.
I've tried everything to dissuade this crazy bird. Even the feral cats that try to stalk him don't faze him. It's not mating season so I have no idea why he keeps going after my windows and the neighbors' windows.
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here.........................
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verrrrry early walk this a.m. (pats unfit self on back, except can't reach...)
heard the straaaaaangest animal sound: like a YOWW, YOWW, YOWW. Very "hoarse" sounding. Kept thinking, cat? But it was too harsh and low...just didn't sound like "cat." Screech owl with a bad chest cold? Just kept going, over and over.
Don't know what a coyote in a bad mood sounds like, but I've heard they've moved in.
And there were two fawns in my back yard, curled up right behind the azaleas. i didn't see them, but my housemate's little dog spotted them and just stood and looked at them. (I've seen the big deer). The yard's not super deep but has a nice stand of mixed hardwoods. It's been startling this year to see them there. (New development nearby has pushed them.)
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verrrrry early walk this a.m. (pats unfit self on back, except can't reach...)
heard the straaaaaangest animal sound: like a YOWW, YOWW, YOWW. Very "hoarse" sounding. Kept thinking, cat? But it was too harsh and low...just didn't sound like "cat." Screech owl with a bad chest cold? Just kept going, over and over.
Don't know what a coyote in a bad mood sounds like, but I've heard they've moved in.
And there were two fawns in my back yard, curled up right behind the azaleas. i didn't see them, but my housemate's little dog spotted them and just stood and looked at them. (I've seen the big deer). The yard's not super deep but has a nice stand of mixed hardwoods. It's been startling this year to see them there. (New development nearby has pushed them.)
I bet those two fawns were ADORABLE!!!!! AWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!! Love the BABIES!!!!!
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The baby fawns are adorable! It seems early for babies though. And twins? Oh my... I sure hope those aren't coyotes you're hearing, Hops.
You feeling better Bones? I broke down and combined real cold medicine with my herbal tea before bed and slept like a log. I can finally breathe again and I don't need some head apparatus replacing kleenex every 30 seconds.
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The baby fawns are adorable! It seems early for babies though. And twins? Oh my... I sure hope those aren't coyotes you're hearing, Hops.
You feeling better Bones? I broke down and combined real cold medicine with my herbal tea before bed and slept like a log. I can finally breathe again and I don't need some head apparatus replacing kleenex every 30 seconds.
Thanks, P.R.
I've been stepping up the vitamins and trying to get to bed at a regular time each night to try and stabilize my sleep cycle. I'm reluctant to try the OTC cold medicines as I don't like their side effects either.
Regarding the fawns, I'm not sure of the deer's life cycle. I know, around here, I think it's the rutting season so we have to be more mindful when driving at night.
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I am about ready to SCREAM in frustration because I AM NOT BEING HEARD by Mr. Idiot!!!!
He has his birds over here and he (reluctantly) pays me rent to use my space and laundry facilities. (I need the income from his rent because my pension is not enough to pay the bills plus medical expenses and I can't afford it when he runs up my utilities.)
Yesterday, he called me to tell me he LOST THE KEYS to my building and my unit and wanted me to make copies. I had already told him, previously, that the key to my building is specially designed so it CANNOT BE DUPLICATED because of SECURITY ISSUES! I asked him: "What happened?" His response? "I dunno..." (He has a BAD habit of saying that when he's caught making a mess and has done this since high school! That might have worked when he was a teenager but it is inappropriate for a senior citizen!) I informed him that BEFORE THAT KEY CAN BE REPLACED, he has to give me a check or a money order, made payable to the property management. Property management WILL NOT GIVE ME ANOTHER KEY UNTIL IT IS PAID FOR! (I don't know how much more CLEARER I can tell him!) I also informed him that HE WILL NEED TO EITHER LOCATE THE KEYS OR PAY TO HAVE MY LOCKS CHANGED as I am NOT paying to clean up his mess! He needs to man-up, grow a pair, and take responsibility for his own mess! I'm NOT his mommy! I'm NOT his maid! I'm NOT a free hotel! I'm NOT a free laundromat! I'm NOT his housekeeper! It's NOT my responsibility to take care of his mistakes FOR him and I am NOT cleaning up his messes FOR him! He needs to learn from his mistakes and take care of his own consequences.
A little while ago, on the phone, he had the pajuktas to ask me if property management had sent me another key for the front door of the building WITHOUT HIM PAYING FOR IT! Then wondered why I went off on him after what I told him, both verbally and via E-MAIL yesterday! I asked him did he READ what I wrote..."Yeah..." "Do you understand what I wrote?" "Yeah..." "WHY do you think property management is REQUIRING payment BEFORE they will replace that key?!?!?" "I dunno...."
JACKASS!!!!!!!!!!! :P (And he has a PhD!!!!!!!) DAMN!!!!!!!
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Wednesday and Thursday evening, I was watching a special two-parter of Divorce Court: Before the Vows and the guy that was on....pleading his case....was truly FRIGHTENING! He clearly had SEVERE psychiatric issues....so SEVERE that even Judge Toler was SCARED and she does NOT scare easy!!!! At one point, (this segment was not broadcast), Judge Toler had Bailiff Joe PUT THE GUY OUT OF THE COURTROOM! :shock: Apparently, the guy got even more out of control.
The more I listened and watched, I found myself analyzing what was going on. (Habits learned in graduate school are still here, even though I'm not working in the field.) My analyses started going along this line:
Axis I - Clinical Disorder = Schizophrenia and other Psychotic Disorders with Delusions of Religious Grandiosity
Axis II - Personality Disorder = Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Axis III - General Medical Condition = (based on my observation, his medical condition is not that good)
Axis IV - Psychosocial and Environmental Problems = He was having problems in this area BIG TIME with Judge Toler and the Bailiff!!!
Axis V - Global Assessment of Functioning = 21 to 30 (meaning Behavior is considerably influenced by delusions or hallucinations OR serious impairment in communication or judgment OR inability to function in almost all areas e.g. no job, no home, no friends.)
The more I watched, the more horrified I felt...watching this severely psychotic individual act out on national television and it was even more frightening KNOWING that he was hell-bent on forcing the focus of his attention to marry him AFTER she had already, CLEARLY, said: "NO!" Watching the way he reacted to the word "NO!" from his ex-intended AND the judge was telling me, this sicko is also NPD! The combination of a psychotic disorder with NPD is the WORST combination I can imagine!
The following link is a commentary on the episode:
http://www.brianphickey.com/divorce-court-darci-lyon-vs-mark-dibello/
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here........................................
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Spotted this link:
http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/crying-dangerous-kids-one-expert-says-222400379.html
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Just got home from a Christmas party and my Inner Child is HAPPY!!! Among the presents I got in the gift exchange was an old-fashioned Slinky! :D I'm having FUN playing with it!!!!
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The poem mentioned in today's Dear Abby is POWERFUL!
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20111218
Also, having some aches and pains this morning as I attempted something, yesterday, that I have NOT done for 41+plus years....I auditioned for a Broadway-style musical which included learning a dance routine. Now my body is going..."OW! OW! OUCH! WHAT did YOU do?!?!?!?" I do have to admit, the audition itself was FUN and I found myself laughing and clowning with the other auditioners, which I haven't been able to do for YEARS!!!!! If I don't get any roles, that's OK. I simply enjoyed the experience.
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Sounds like you've just discovered the bestest healing tool, Bones! Fun, enjoying oneself... it grows into a force-field so that the "other" stuff bounces right off... and back to "sender". I did some of that this weekend too - went to a small company's Christmas party. Lots of fun kids, dogs of all sizes, a great band, good home-cooked food, nothing fancy - all quite makeshift and informal. Met some very nice, hardworking, normal people!
I'm beginning to realize I gotta get out of my big ole house, and out of my neighborhood of people who still think fancy & expensive = better (or pretend that they believe this... for whatever reason) and go find a place for myself, where I can be useful and immersed in everyday, ordinary affairs. There's a lot of "sad" in the people I'm meeting in my neighborhood - I pick up on the wistful comments, faraway looks and while I could probably say something to cheer them up, don't ya know I'm afraid of unsuspectingly putting myself back into that boundaryless "Ms. Fixit" position again. I wish I could finally conquer my reluctance to "play" or take people up on their invitations to spend time together.
I know I am still susceptible to that; the doing/saying/being "too much"... a friend asked for computer help and it only took me a minute... but then it was "sit and talk awhile"... and I got the feeling that I was the entertainment for the evening - and also subtly being asked to referee; I'm allergic to being in the middle like that. Thankfully, my dinner was in the oven and I kinda kept the time it would be done in my head. And when the phone rang, I made my escape - that's what it felt like. Because I couldn't relax being the center of attention like that.
So what play - what part? - did you audition for, Bones? I didn't know you liked to do this. I was involved in one play, in HS... I did set design/props for an Agatha Christie mystery. I was surprised to learn, that even those support roles behind the scenes are really important to the overall action onstage. I guess that's why it's a "production", huh?
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Sounds like you've just discovered the bestest healing tool, Bones! Fun, enjoying oneself... it grows into a force-field so that the "other" stuff bounces right off... and back to "sender". I did some of that this weekend too - went to a small company's Christmas party. Lots of fun kids, dogs of all sizes, a great band, good home-cooked food, nothing fancy - all quite makeshift and informal. Met some very nice, hardworking, normal people!
I'm beginning to realize I gotta get out of my big ole house, and out of my neighborhood of people who still think fancy & expensive = better (or pretend that they believe this... for whatever reason) and go find a place for myself, where I can be useful and immersed in everyday, ordinary affairs. There's a lot of "sad" in the people I'm meeting in my neighborhood - I pick up on the wistful comments, faraway looks and while I could probably say something to cheer them up, don't ya know I'm afraid of unsuspectingly putting myself back into that boundaryless "Ms. Fixit" position again. I wish I could finally conquer my reluctance to "play" or take people up on their invitations to spend time together.
I know I am still susceptible to that; the doing/saying/being "too much"... a friend asked for computer help and it only took me a minute... but then it was "sit and talk awhile"... and I got the feeling that I was the entertainment for the evening - and also subtly being asked to referee; I'm allergic to being in the middle like that. Thankfully, my dinner was in the oven and I kinda kept the time it would be done in my head. And when the phone rang, I made my escape - that's what it felt like. Because I couldn't relax being the center of attention like that.
So what play - what part? - did you audition for, Bones? I didn't know you liked to do this. I was involved in one play, in HS... I did set design/props for an Agatha Christie mystery. I was surprised to learn, that even those support roles behind the scenes are really important to the overall action onstage. I guess that's why it's a "production", huh?
Thanks, P.R.
I'm learning that getting out of myself helps my mood. I was surprised to receive an invitation to audition for a Broadway musical. The last time I did that was for my senior class play 41+plus years ago and developed bursitis while trying to do the required dance routine way back then. When I realized, yesterday, what I would be required to do, I told the choreographer to please don't be surprised if she hears my joints go "snap, crackle, pop" as it has been DECADES since I've even attempted something like THIS! During the audition, where I was also required to sing solo Broadway-style, (THAT is SCARY! As SCARY as public speaking!), I learned that they consider me a Mega-Alto, which I've never heard of before. (I'm more familiar with Soprano, Alto, Tenor, Bass classifications so I'm not sure I understand what Mega-Alto means.)
I can't say much more about which play or which role until the powers-that-be make a decision. We were asked not to discuss any details on any social websites until then. If, by some stroke of luck, I get the role I auditioned for...it looks like I'm going to have a LOT of FUN with it!!! I couldn't do much with any type of characters or character-development yesterday because I'm not that familiar with the play. Trying to focus on learning the dance routines without, literally, falling on my butt or my face plus learning unfamiliar tunes and lyrics plus attempting to following the director's instructions to interact with the other auditioners as if I had known them, intimately, for YEARS was challenging enough. For an Aspie, it's DEFINITELY outside of my comfort zone!
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here.......
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Well, Bones... I think it's amazing you're trying out for this role! I really wouldn't even consider going to the audition; just couldn't stand it; I'd be way too uncomfortable. Sure sounds like you enjoyed this though and that's a good thing. And I'm glad you shared it here, because it reminds me that "stepping out of my comfort zone" doesn't have to mean that our worst fears come true... or that it will be a dreadful experience. I really hope you get called back and are given a role. There is a wonderful "belonging" feeling about being part of something like this.This would be such a great Christmas present to yourself. I've realized recently I've been denying myself things like this, again.
hugs!
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Hey Bones,
I want to congratulate you, too, just on the guts and moxie it took to get out there and ENJOY taking a risk!
Whether or not you get the part, that's such a joyful thing to do.
(And if by some bizarre reckoning you don't get it, well then, you have discovered something you enjoy extending yourself for...and you can go find another! THAT would be our persistent Bones...)
Fingers and toes locked and loaded.
I also wanted to congratulate you on 200 pages of post and chat!
xo
Hops
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Hey Bones,
I want to congratulate you, too, just on the guts and moxie it took to get out there and ENJOY taking a risk!
Whether or not you get the part, that's such a joyful thing to do.
(And if by some bizarre reckoning you don't get it, well then, you have discovered something you enjoy extending yourself for...and you can go find another! THAT would be our persistent Bones...)
Fingers and toes locked and loaded.
I also wanted to congratulate you on 200 pages of post and chat!
xo
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
At times, I wonder if I vent and rant too much...especially when I start perserverating about psychology stuff. (Maybe that's why the Big Bang Theory makes me laugh so much when I see Sheldon doing similar stuff with other scientific things.)
I keep trying to remind myself to just simply enjoy the experience of the audition, not take it personally, and let go of the results. If the role is beyond my physical ability of belting out a Broadway tune or dancing Bob-Fosse-style, oh well.....
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One of my guilty pleasures is watching court shows such as Judge Judy, People's Court, Judge Joe Brown, etc. Occasionally, a plaintiff will turn up that is CLEARLY an N who is attempting to manipulate the system to further abuse the target of their Narcissistic wrath. I LOVE it when the judge NAILS the N with what they are attempting to do and rips them a new a$$hole.....on national TV!!!!
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Bones, I can relate to the pleasure you get from those shows; that was always my fantasy...
being able to report my mom, have proof, and have the "authorities" force her to change her ways -- or go to jail. I can hear her whining in front of the judge now... "but everything I did was for her own good".... as the bailiff hauls her away. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that I'm finding myself simply "not caring" that much anymore about her - one way or another. At this point, I'm using her -- observing -- her wackiness and what she's doing... and my own reactions... trying to finish up my unconscious-self healing process and find the cohones to just "move on"...
btw - I'm in awe of your grasp of psychological knowledge. Don't mind a bit, either, when you post what you know. I'm still learning...
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Bones, I can relate to the pleasure you get from those shows; that was always my fantasy...
being able to report my mom, have proof, and have the "authorities" force her to change her ways -- or go to jail. I can hear her whining in front of the judge now... "but everything I did was for her own good".... as the bailiff hauls her away. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that I'm finding myself simply "not caring" that much anymore about her - one way or another. At this point, I'm using her -- observing -- her wackiness and what she's doing... and my own reactions... trying to finish up my unconscious-self healing process and find the cohones to just "move on"...
btw - I'm in awe of your grasp of psychological knowledge. Don't mind a bit, either, when you post what you know. I'm still learning...
Thanks, P.R.
When I was watching the Peoples' Court yesterday, Judge Milian NAILED a NWomb-Donor who was attempting to use the court system to rip off her own daughter. This N was SO STUPID that the "grounds" she attempted to sue on were MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE and CANCELLED each other out! PLUS, the so-called "verbal contract" occurred when the defendant was ONLY 17 and STILL LEGALLY A MINOR and the N was LEGALLY OBLIGATED TO TAKE CARE OF HER MINOR CHILD!! I LOVED it when the judge looked that !@#$ straight in the eye and stated that she could be a "vicious witch" for what she was attempting to do and found in favor of the defendant daughter! Embarrassed the QUEEN N on national television!!!!!!!
I'm glad I can help others understand. I feel that knowledge is power.
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Happy Hanukkah!
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here.........
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...and Kwanza, but I think I'm early!
hugs
Hops
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Hey - wait a minute! You forgot "Happy Solstice"!!! The days start getting longer now... the "sun god" is making his way back to his summer position... and when the sun rises, now... over the ocean... I can mark his progress against the trees as he moves left across the sky each morning. I have my own version of Stonehenge, you know?
I won't see the sunrise this morning, tho. Too cloudy... but it's warm this morning! Barefoot, PJ'd and coffee on the porch -- while it lasts. S'posed to cool off to highs around 50, all day long. And I'm still in the kitchen baking!!!! But the good thing about my two weeks stint, is that I'm finally starting to feel like it's automatic. I don't have to think - just turn & open a drawer for a spoon. I've had to re-organize a few things since moving in... and will probably do it again, too based on what I've been using this week. I still have 7 Layer Bars and Baklava to make today... then I'm going to TRY to shift myself from flour-dusted, aproned Penn Dutch grandma... to Alice Waters: real food, simply prepared, as fresh as I can get. (OK... there is bacon, bacon, bacon and country ham in my near future, too... I am not above bribing hubs to try new things, with his favs).
The kitchen was one of the main attractions of this house for me. I'm a barely competent cook - even though I've done stints as a vegetarian and learned how to cook a lot of middle eastern dishes... a smattering of chinese cooking (another love I want to get back to). And while hubs & I are negotiating use of and organization of and cleanliness of the more "creative" spaces... I can and feel I need to... spend some of that creative energy in the kitchen. It's hard to believe - but it's taken me 2 years in this place to finally feel like I have the time to "play" like this. (Now, I've been kinda busy doing other things... in that two years - not kicking myself; just musing...)
How about you Bones? How are you playing for Christmas? What's on your agenda? Hops? What do you have planned?
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...and Kwanza, but I think I'm early!
hugs
Hops
:)
Thanks, Hops.
Happy Early Kwanza!
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Hey - wait a minute! You forgot "Happy Solstice"!!! The days start getting longer now... the "sun god" is making his way back to his summer position... and when the sun rises, now... over the ocean... I can mark his progress against the trees as he moves left across the sky each morning. I have my own version of Stonehenge, you know?
I won't see the sunrise this morning, tho. Too cloudy... but it's warm this morning! Barefoot, PJ'd and coffee on the porch -- while it lasts. S'posed to cool off to highs around 50, all day long. And I'm still in the kitchen baking!!!! But the good thing about my two weeks stint, is that I'm finally starting to feel like it's automatic. I don't have to think - just turn & open a drawer for a spoon. I've had to re-organize a few things since moving in... and will probably do it again, too based on what I've been using this week. I still have 7 Layer Bars and Baklava to make today... then I'm going to TRY to shift myself from flour-dusted, aproned Penn Dutch grandma... to Alice Waters: real food, simply prepared, as fresh as I can get. (OK... there is bacon, bacon, bacon and country ham in my near future, too... I am not above bribing hubs to try new things, with his favs).
The kitchen was one of the main attractions of this house for me. I'm a barely competent cook - even though I've done stints as a vegetarian and learned how to cook a lot of middle eastern dishes... a smattering of chinese cooking (another love I want to get back to). And while hubs & I are negotiating use of and organization of and cleanliness of the more "creative" spaces... I can and feel I need to... spend some of that creative energy in the kitchen. It's hard to believe - but it's taken me 2 years in this place to finally feel like I have the time to "play" like this. (Now, I've been kinda busy doing other things... in that two years - not kicking myself; just musing...)
How about you Bones? How are you playing for Christmas? What's on your agenda? Hops? What do you have planned?
Hi, P.R.
I haven't decided what I want to do about playing for Christmas. I don't have an agenda yet.
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There's a possibility of going to dinner, at a restaurant, on Christmas Day. I've put out Christmas stockings but I can't be sure if anything else will happen.
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Happy dark and bright, cheery- dreary, red, cold and warm...Holidays Bones!
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Happy dark and bright, cheery- dreary, red, cold and warm...Holidays Bones!
Thanks, Boat!
Happy Hanukkah and Merry Christmas to you!
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The Creators.com website is malfunctioning this morning so I searched for the "Dear Margo" column at another URL. I think quite a few of us can relate to the first letter:
http://www.wowowow.com/dear-margo/dear-margo-a-modern-cinderella/
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Opened up my Christmas Stocking this morning and found..........COFFEE and CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!! :D These were given to me by the guy that drives me CRAZY sometimes!
I have to confess, I splurged on myself and bought myself an electronic Air Guitar. I need to put the batteries in it and start playing it. One of the pre-programmed songs in it is The Beatles "Let It Be". The question is, can I play it left-handed as many things are designed for right-handed people.
Merry Christmas!!!!
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Have fun Bones!
(Oh... and I know a lot of lefties that can "switch hit"... but I hope you don't have to.)
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Have fun Bones!
(Oh... and I know a lot of lefties that can "switch hit"... but I hope you don't have to.)
Thanks, P.R.
Years ago, I had attempted to take guitar lessons with an instructor who insisted I had to play right-handed like him, not left-handed like Paul McCartney. The attempt was so frustratingly uncomfortable and clumsy that I finally gave up. (I can do some things right-handed, and other things both-handed, but playing guitar is not one of them.)
Bones
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i'm fairly ambidextrous... and have a leftie daughter. This was OK until I tried to teach her how to hand-sew... and then I found I wasn't able to translate from right to left, well, at all! But, somehow she managed despite all mom's clumsiness & frustration.
OK, 'nuff of this! Time to go play...
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i'm fairly ambidextrous... and have a leftie daughter. This was OK until I tried to teach her how to hand-sew... and then I found I wasn't able to translate from right to left, well, at all! But, somehow she managed despite all mom's clumsiness & frustration.
OK, 'nuff of this! Time to go play...
Thanks, P.R.!
Yup! Time to go play!
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It's Monday.....Boxing Day for some.......
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Trying to wake up this morning. Just had my morning dose of coffee but it hasn't started taking effect yet.
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Mornings are rough -- I don't wake easily and I need to force myself to get out and about early to go for a walk.
Much rather stay in bed with my laptop and a big cup of tea.
Finally got a decent sleep though, so this a.m. I filled the crockpot with vegs so I'll have good soup tonight.
And there's an hour's freedom left, so I am going to walk. Always hate dragging myself out there, always glad afterward.
Then work...9 hours of "ugh" and isolation.
xo
Hops
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Mornings are rough -- I don't wake easily and I need to force myself to get out and about early to go for a walk.
Much rather stay in bed with my laptop and a big cup of tea.
Finally got a decent sleep though, so this a.m. I filled the crockpot with vegs so I'll have good soup tonight.
And there's an hour's freedom left, so I am going to walk. Always hate dragging myself out there, always glad afterward.
Then work...9 hours of "ugh" and isolation.
xo
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
That soup sounds good. I should dig out my crockpot and make soup. Then I look at my tiny kitchenette with the non-existent countertop space and wonder WHERE can I set it up with the microwave, toaster oven, bread machine, Aerogrow.....can I say CLUTTER?
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It's morning.....
Feeling out of sorts today.....needier than usual and terrified to approach ANYONE!
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Heya Bones! La la la al te bing ding tic tic deeeee dooooo blllllaaammm listening to some kind of flamenco type music back to jazz
So what do you think year 2012 will bring??? Do we all get beamed up by aliens or the whole oil dependency structure fails and we have chaos while humans reorganize themselves.
Hum, one of my past yoga teachers seemed to think something intergalactic consciousness changing would occur but what does she know that we don't? I wonder.
And what about Korea, I feel have felt that something fishy is going on over there-- and now the new heir. People want to over look Korea like they don't have the strength or might but I think we are underestimating something between Korea and China that area of the world...Add the middle east into that mix although they seem content to blow themselves up down there.
Some new age people say this is the end of a kind of age of mind-control and darkness that the sheeple are becoming less sheep like but I don't a know about thata one.
Baaaaaa Baaaaaaa
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For myself, I am going to buy a wood burner and make some candles. Then when the apocalypse comes, I can sit in my vegetable garden with my chickens and eat omelettes!
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Heya Bones! La la la al te bing ding tic tic deeeee dooooo blllllaaammm listening to some kind of flamenco type music back to jazz
So what do you think year 2012 will bring??? Do we all get beamed up by aliens or the whole oil dependency structure fails and we have chaos while humans reorganize themselves.
Hum, one of my past yoga teachers seemed to think something intergalactic consciousness changing would occur but what does she know that we don't? I wonder.
And what about Korea, I feel have felt that something fishy is going on over there-- and now the new heir. People want to over look Korea like they don't have the strength or might but I think we are underestimating something between Korea and China that area of the world...Add the middle east into that mix although they seem content to blow themselves up down there.
Some new age people say this is the end of a kind of age of mind-control and darkness that the sheeple are becoming less sheep like but I don't a know about thata one.
Baaaaaa Baaaaaaa
Who knows?
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For myself, I am going to buy a wood burner and make some candles. Then when the apocalypse comes, I can sit in my vegetable garden with my chickens and eat omelets!
Sounds like a plan!
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I'm here. Got on the scale a little while ago and see that my weight is going back up with emotional eating......
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In today's advice column, the Annie's JUST DON'T GET IT!!!! :P
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/honor-thy-emotionally-abusive-mother.html
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Bones,
You are right on with this assessment.
The advice columnists are completely off base with their comments and suggestions. Emotional abuse (and verbal abuse) happens behind closed doors and steals the self esteem, autonomy, and assertiveness from the victim, which are exactly the skills this person needs to accept responsibility for himself, detach and avoid the abuse.
Can't say enough about how sad it makes me to think that a person suffers, not once, but twice, when receiving bad and ineffective advice.
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Bones,
You are right on with this assessment.
The advice columnists are completely off base with their comments and suggestions. Emotional abuse (and verbal abuse) happens behind closed doors and steals the self esteem, autonomy, and assertiveness from the victim, which are exactly the skills this person needs to accept responsibility for himself, detach and avoid the abuse.
Can't say enough about how sad it makes me to think that a person suffers, not once, but twice, when receiving bad and ineffective advice.
Exactly!
Ever since the original Ann Landers died, this column has gone downhill.
With today's column in "Dear Abby", the scenario being discussed sounds painfully familiar!
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20111230
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With today's column in "Dear Abby", the scenario being discussed sounds painfully familiar!
Thanks Bones for your post and this other article. I dont know what the Mothers problem is - maybe a martyr N, maybe bi-polar, maybe something else, but thats almost irrelevant if the daughter does go forward with therapy and getting a life of her own.
These columnists really suck!
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With today's column in "Dear Abby", the scenario being discussed sounds painfully familiar!
Thanks Bones for your post and this other article. I dont know what the Mothers problem is - maybe a martyr N, maybe bi-polar, maybe something else, but thats almost irrelevant if the daughter does go forward with therapy and getting a life of her own.
These columnists really suck!
Thanks, Ales!
It's true that these columnists suck because they have NO clue what it is like to grow up with a Narcissist! Too bad there can't be an Anonymous Advice Columnist to respond to letters such as what I've seen printed in "Dear Abby", "Annie's Mailbox", "Dear Margo", and "Dear Prudence"!
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It's hard to believe that today is New Year's Eve! :shock:
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The first letter in "Dear Margo" is something indeed!!!!
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/closing-down-a-demanding-granny.html
Sound familiar?????????????????
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I'm not sure who else has encountered this situation before......
One of the social groups I hang out with, in 3-D, has an N among the members. He tends to be VERY self-centered and self-absorbed. At one time or another, one of our group has taken him to task for his various behaviors. For instance, he attempted to use the group treasury as his "personal account" to spend on himself because as the "head" of the group, he was ENTITLED! The rest of us told him: "HELL NO! We are NOT paying dues to subsidize your self-gratification!" When he lost his wallet, along with its contents, he demanded that his brother take care of it FOR him! (This self-centered dude is over 55 years old!)
He has been out of work for a L-O-N-G time and often talked about getting unemployment from TWO different states SIMULTANEOUSLY! :shock: :? How he managed to pull that off, I do not know! In the end, BOTH states' unemployment agencies have finally cut him off. During get-togethers, he often complained about not being able to get unemployment anymore and we have countered with, what are you doing about your job search, to which we get NO response. Other members of the group have given him leads on job openings...one of them was close to where he is currently residing. He was also given other resources to look into. I've gotten the impression that he has done NOTHING with the information and resources that he has been given. Instead, we are given the impression that he expects others to take care of all of this FOR him...which is NOT happening!
Now, he has sent around an e-mail to the group asking us to help him out financially as he is about to lose his home. (He has been made aware that several members are struggling with issues of their own....medical, fixed incomes, job loss, etc. but it appears that he has taken no notice of that.) I couldn't help but pick up on the "guilt trip" aspect of his e-mail to us within the group. My only response has been: "Sorry......" Other members have also responded with similar comments with reminders of their own situations that have been discussed within the group. (BTW, he has been known to borrow money in the past then "forget" to pay it back.)
Personally, I find it annoying what he is attempting to do now. I know it's supposed to be "Tis the Season" and at the same time, I'm reacting with: "WTF?!?!?!?"
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Happy New Year! I hope 2012 will be better than 2011 was!
In reading today's "Annie's Mailbox:
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/a-little-distance-can-mean-a-happy-new-year.html
I'm wondering what your thoughts are on the Mother-in-Law from Hell?
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I like the answer Annie gave...and oh boy.
The MIL is in her own hell, but the collateral damage she's causes is really sad.
Hops
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I like the answer Annie gave...and oh boy.
The MIL is in her own hell, but the collateral damage she's causes is really sad.
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
I was also thinking what would happen should the husband and child get up and leave when the old Battleaxe starts up her nonsense.
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I'm wondering what your thoughts are regarding today's "Dear Abby"?
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120102
Does it sound familiar when "party planners" make it all about themselves instead of respecting the guest of honor after she's asked, more than once, not to make a big deal?
The second letter also sounds like the family is dealing with an N or two along with a Co-D.
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A little off-topic....just something I'm thinking about.
For anyone who enjoys researching ancestors from way-back-when, I think there are books available, through Amazon.com, regarding history. One of the things I'm looking into is the history of the Portuguese who came to New England and settled there. For anyone who has Portuguese roots in New England, I found this:
http://www.amazon.com/Portuguese-Spinner-American-Joseph-Thomas/dp/0932027393/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1325501207&sr=1-1
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I'm wondering what your thoughts are regarding today's "Dear Abby"?
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120102
Does it sound familiar when "party planners" make it all about themselves instead of respecting the guest of honor after she's asked, more than once, not to make a big deal?
The second letter also sounds like the family is dealing with an N or two along with a Co-D.
Yeah, Bones,
I think it's pretty unfortunate that the person had to divulge some kind of sensitive memory from childhood and the co-workers dismissed it. Unfortunately there are fake- even frienmy things that women especially have to go through.
One time I didn't show up for a "birthday party" at work---it just felt so insincere and I could't get into it, was during all these lay-offs and people were being nasty, it was just my boss who wanted to get the cake for me but the rest of the co-workers were all silently seething during the shuffle....so I just bailed(went to do second job at same company). Not worth the panic attack. But it back fires at work, a person has to show up even when they don't want to----this is why I think being one's own boss is ideal.
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I'm wondering what your thoughts are regarding today's "Dear Abby"?
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120102
Does it sound familiar when "party planners" make it all about themselves instead of respecting the guest of honor after she's asked, more than once, not to make a big deal?
The second letter also sounds like the family is dealing with an N or two along with a Co-D.
Yeah, Bones,
I think it's pretty unfortunate that the person had to divulge some kind of sensitive memory from childhood and the co-workers dismissed it. Unfortunately there are fake- even frienemy things that women especially have to go through.
One time I didn't show up for a "birthday party" at work---it just felt so insincere and I couldn't get into it, was during all these lay-offs and people were being nasty, it was just my boss who wanted to get the cake for me but the rest of the co-workers were all silently seething during the shuffle....so I just bailed(went to do second job at same company). Not worth the panic attack. But it back fires at work, a person has to show up even when they don't want to----this is why I think being one's own boss is ideal.
I agree, Boat!
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I think we're going to have a change in winter weather. My back is aching like crazy!!!! :P
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For Christmas I received a package of blueberry flavored coffee. I like coffee and I like FRESH blueberries but combining those flavors????? I think not! After tasting it....I think I'll pass on that one! :P
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For Christmas I received a package of blueberry flavored coffee. I like coffee and I like FRESH blueberries but combining those flavors????? I think not! After tasting it....I think I'll pass on that one! :P
HaHA, They keep trying to come up with novel products. I got gingerbread coffee from a co-worker. Was a nice gift not my fav flavor, don't really like any of the synthetic flavors but I used the whole bag anyways.
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For Christmas I received a package of blueberry flavored coffee. I like coffee and I like FRESH blueberries but combining those flavors????? I think not! After tasting it....I think I'll pass on that one! :P
HaHA, They keep trying to come up with novel products. I got gingerbread coffee from a co-worker. Was a nice gift not my fav flavor, don't really like any of the synthetic flavors but I used the whole bag anyways.
Thanks, Boat.
The grocery store, where I shop, sells various flavored coffees by the cup and occasionally they have offered gingerbread coffee as part of their Christmas theme. I've tried it and it was OK. I just wasn't interested in buying a whole bag due to the fact that, according to the doctor, I shouldn't have caffeine anyway.
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Bones, I should send you some of the marshmallows I made this year - gingerbread... in hot chocolate, no?
I didn't know you could make marshmallows at home, so I tried it. They are "interesting"... like they say about some artwork! LOL... really, they look & feel & taste like storebought marshmallows... but... different.
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Bones, I should send you some of the marshmallows I made this year - gingerbread... in hot chocolate, no?
I didn't know you could make marshmallows at home, so I tried it. They are "interesting"... like they say about some artwork! LOL... really, they look & feel & taste like storebought marshmallows... but... different.
Thanks, P.R.
I've never been into marshmallows much, even when I was a kid. I guess it might have been the texture of it. As a child on the autism spectrum, some things were too much for me to tolerate.
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That's a shame Bones. I love love marshmallows. Although I was once eating a marshmallow and laughed too hard - got the darn thing stuck up my nose. Very painful! But funny now. I now approach them with a certain care.
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That's a shame Bones. I love love marshmallows. Although I was once eating a marshmallow and laughed too hard - got the darn thing stuck up my nose. Very painful! But funny now. I now approach them with a certain care.
Thanks, Freshwater. A marshmallow got stuck in your nose?!?!? OUCH!!!!
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:P Heeehhhhh.....You GOT a marshmallow stuck in your nose...that sucks AND it's funny...but it sucks....BUT it made me SMILE..
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Okay, I just know you'd like a full description...
so I'm eating a marshmallow and in laughing, take a huge intake of breath. Marshmallow travels backwards in mouth and upwards through throat into nasal cavity, where it gets stuck. Oh the pain! And laughing more didn't help! :lol:
Can't remember how I eventually shifted it. And if I do, I'm guessing you don't want to know and I won't tell. :mrgreen:
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:D
I'm smiling and laughing a high pitch laugh. Squeeekkkeeek.
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Kind of reminds me of a skit I saw on TV once, many moons ago, (was it SNL?), where this guy was drinking milk, started laughing, and had it coming out his nose! I wasn't sure whether to laugh at that or be grossed out!
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The Nutty, Insecure, Wedding-Goer sounds just like an N!!!!!!
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/nutty-insecure-wedding-goer.html
Not sure which is worse, this Nutty N or the NWomb-Donor who attempted to disrupt the NGCB's wedding festivities by trying to force all the guests to feel sorry for HER because NGCB DARED to REFUSE to dump his bride and come back home to his MOMMY!!! Sheesh!!!! :roll:
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Hmmm. Makes me think that right along with the deficit in feeling empathy... most Ns don't feel embarrassment nor shame at their "antics".
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Hmmm. Makes me think that right along with the deficit in feeling empathy... most Ns don't feel embarrassment nor shame at their "antics".
That is so true!!!! I think the reason that N's don't feel any embarrassment nor shame at their "antics" is because they believe they are "THE STAR".
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Going to the dentist this morning. I'm hoping there are no more bone grafts.
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I need to get my hands on this book!!!!!!
http://www.amazon.com/Aspergirls-Empowering-Females-Asperger-Syndrome/dp/1849058261
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Discovered that the book, that I mentioned in my previous posting, is at the local library. I've place a request for it and now I need to wait and see how long the request process will take. The library has only one copy and I have no way of knowing if anyone else has submitted a request before I did. I just have to wait and see.
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Excellent, Bones!
I had that thought yesterday, hoping you'd check the library, even request an inter-library loan if it's not at your local branch.
Resourceful YOU, bravo! :)
Hops
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Excellent, Bones!
I had that thought yesterday, hoping you'd check the library, even request an inter-library loan if it's not at your local branch.
Resourceful YOU, bravo! :)
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
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Hey Bones - do you know of any online sources for definitions of the range of AS?
I'm pretty sure this runs in my family - one of my daughters and possibly her son; my bro and perhaps his son... for all I know, my mom too... BUT, as I read the first few pages of the book you're talking about... I also could recognize a few things about me, as well.
I don't think I'm aspie though... but it's a bit spooky about some of things that are described.
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Hey Bones - do you know of any online sources for definitions of the range of AS?
I'm pretty sure this runs in my family - one of my daughters and possibly her son; my bro and perhaps his son... for all I know, my mom too... BUT, as I read the first few pages of the book you're talking about... I also could recognize a few things about me, as well.
I don't think I'm aspie though... but it's a bit spooky about some of things that are described.
I'll have to search the Internet to look for online sources regarding Aspergers Syndrome. From personal experience, I've learned that when you've met one Aspie, you've met ONE Aspie. The way the brain is wired is different in each individual. I've met some Aspies that one would never know until that person chose to disclose the diagnosis and I've met others on the other end of the Spectrum who don't talk at all. One person reacted to meeting me by crying hysterically on sight. Knowing she was also on the Spectrum, I responded by whispering, "It's OK. I understand" repeatedly and she eventually was able to calm down from her meltdown. I came to realize that anyone speaking in a normal tone of voice became sensory overload for her.
I'll see what I can find for you.
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Thanks, Bones!
In your spare time, though, OK? You don't have to do anything special for me.
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Thanks, Bones!
In your spare time, though, OK? You don't have to do anything special for me.
Sure thing! :)
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Here's one piece of information that I've found regarding Asperger's in adults:
http://www.asperger-advice.com/asperger-symptoms-in-adults.html
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Here's another link about Asperger's:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger_syndrome
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Oh boy!!!! Do I RELATE to THIS!!!!!
http://www.asperger-advice.com/work-related-issues.html
As a result, I have often been told: "You're a poor fit! Get out!"
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LOL... thanks Bones!
Those links help alot and feed my curiosity for more info...
but I think everyone would have some degree of issue with most of the items on the work list! At least, at one time or another.
I'll do some reading and learning for a bit.
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LOL... thanks Bones!
Those links help alot and feed my curiosity for more info...
but I think everyone would have some degree of issue with most of the items on the work list! At least, at one time or another.
I'll do some reading and learning for a bit.
Okay.
I'll also look around for the Aspie Test that I found online before.
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Bones, I really admire how much you've learned about yourself and about Asperger's.
Thank you for helping educate us...I thought the list made sense and I could imagine a sort of constellation of frustrations and challenges.
That might explain why you sometimes sound very all-caps aggravated about people not following rules, you think?
hugs
Hops
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Bones, I really admire how much you've learned about yourself and about Asperger's.
Thank you for helping educate us...I thought the list made sense and I could imagine a sort of constellation of frustrations and challenges.
That might explain why you sometimes sound very all-caps aggravated about people not following rules, you think?
hugs
Hops
Thanks, Hops, and you're right. That would explain my aggravation about why people don't follow rules along with other sensory-overload issues that I've had since birth.
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Here's a quiz about Asperger's:
http://psychcentral.com/quizzes/autism.htm
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Just got the Aspergirls book from the library and started reading. I am identifying with EVERYTHING!!!! Taught myself to read before I started school (Check! Cat in the Hat to be exact!) Learning disabilities in school (Check!) Being engaged in a passion that I lose all sense of anyone else being around. (Check!) Having my own method of ingesting and comprehending, which drove my grade-school teachers CRAZY! (Check!) Remembering the meltdowns I used to have in grade school. (Check!) My methods of stimming to self-soothe. (Check!) And I'm still in the first chapter!
BTW, on the way back from the library, I spotted a Robin!!!!!! SPRING IS COMING!!!!!!
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Just got a bit of a strange phone call a little while ago.
It started out with my homeless cousin on the phone asking me if I was still working on family history. I said "Yes", and then she put this complete stranger on the phone who started rambling away and giggling. (Knowing my cousin is still an actively practicing alcoholic, I'm not too surprised that she hangs out with other like-minded people.) The giggler wants to hire me to research his family history so I simply gave him my business e-mail address and told him to e-mail me the particulars and I'll see what I can do, then I hung up. (Doesn't mean I'll accept him as a client, especially if he's intoxicated. :roll: I do have that freedom.)
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Isn't email useful Bones? We are free to ignore people as much as we like! :D
I tried the Asperger's quiz too - I thought the questions were a bit 'obvious' but also some could yield ambiguous results (e.g. remembering people's birthdays - I said yes, I find it easy, but then I only 'have' to remember four, so it depends, doesn't it? Ditto for phone numbers - hey I remember my own, therefore I find it easy??!). Interesting though.
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Isn't email useful Bones? We are free to ignore people as much as we like! :D
I tried the Asperger's quiz too - I thought the questions were a bit 'obvious' but also some could yield ambiguous results (e.g. remembering people's birthdays - I said yes, I find it easy, but then I only 'have' to remember four, so it depends, doesn't it? Ditto for phone numbers - hey I remember my own, therefore I find it easy??!). Interesting though.
Thanks, Freshwater!
And a business e-mail address is ESPECIALLY handy to screen out people I prefer NOT to deal with!
I'm already up to chapter 4 in the Aspergirls book and more memories are popping up. I remember, when I was little, that I HATED going to the shoe store....the lights, the smells, the sensory overload from anyone handling my feet, the way new shoes made my feet hurt because they were so stiff. I also remember, at one point, seeing an old home movie of when I was a child and being filmed while I was rocking and bouncing because I was too excited about something. (I was the only kid doing that. None of the other kids in the scene were stimming.) It took me several years after seeing that scene when I finally realized that I was stimming to self-soothe because I was overexcited and overwhelmed. Even today, if I get caught off-guard with a sensory overload, my first impulse is to RUN! To give an example, when I was visiting the home of an acquaintance, they wanted to introduce me to their tween-age son, who happened to be in his room. The first second I stepped into his room to be introduced, I BOLTED OUT OF THERE! Why? He had a big screen TV blaring, a stereo blaring, a flashy video game being played, and the combination of the loud sounds and flashing lights were more than I could tolerate! I got a LOT of funny looks when I clapped my hands over my ears and ran outta there! The noise and lights didn't bother them but it was OVERLOAD for me.
Does that make sense? (Possibly to another Aspie rather than an NT.)
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All that you have said makes sense Bones, I have a window into what it is like, a small sense of similarity in myself. I guess even within NTs there are variations of, er, sensitivities? If that indeed makes sense. Just because I can tolerate something and smile doesn't mean that I like it!
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All that you have said makes sense Bones, I have a window into what it is like, a small sense of similarity in myself. I guess even within NTs there are variations of, er, sensitivities? If that indeed makes sense. Just because I can tolerate something and smile doesn't mean that I like it!
Thanks, Freshwater.
I've been reading the chapter about Selective Mutism and after I've seen descriptions "from the inside out", e.g. thinking in pictures but unable to translate those pictures into words.......I reacted with.......CHECK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm also remembering a little about the descriptions of my Dad and looking at the pictures of him has made me wonder if he was an Aspie too? (I often heard descriptions of how he left school because he was so bored. The way his school day had been structured was he would have Study Hall as the last period and he would have all his homework finished before going home. When he asked for additional school work, he was refused. The school system simply did NOT know what to do with him because he "didn't fit the mold".....and this was DECADES before Hans Asperger identified the Syndrome.)
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Spotted this in Dear Abby on Thursday, January 11, 2012:
"DEAR ABBY: I'm a 37-year-old wife and mother of three. My mother visits us when she's in town during work-related trips, so it's not like she's around all day, thank heavens. But when she's here she constantly corrects my children (ages 8, 14 and 18) and instructs my husband and me how we should spend our money. She also doesn't like it when I swear (which I usually don't do unless she's around) or mention what I think of people she has sent my way who have burned me.
By the time she leaves -- usually four days -- I am so stressed and emotional that I cry at the drop of a hat. I cannot, nor do I want to, continue to have her here when she doesn't respect my rules. I respect her rules when I visit her home.
Obviously, there is much more, but I'm stressed to the max and nearly at the point of being done. Abby, can you give me any pointers to deal with this? -- VISIT OR NOT?
DEAR VISIT OR NOT?: After you have calmed down, and before your mother's next "raid," write her a letter. Explain that while you love her, her visits are taking a significant emotional toll on you. Say she is welcome as long as she refrains from correcting your children because that's your job. Say also that she must stop telling you what to do with your money and correcting your language because you're an adult now. Remind her not to send any more people your way, and why. If she can accept those terms, she'll be welcomed with open arms. Some people need ground rules spelled out for them, and your mother appears to be one of them."
I don't think "Dear Abby" GETS IT! My sense is that the letter writer is dealing with an N who WILL NEVER HEAR HER!
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Still reading the library book and still identifying with everything!
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This Narcissist WENT TOO FAR!!!!!
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504763_162-20019377-10391704.html
And I just read the news that the child died last night at the age of nine from Huntington's.
NMonsters are just UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :evil: :twisted:
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Agreed Bones. The perp looks like a nasty cow, too: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2085858/Kathleen-Edward-Dies-facing-horrendous-insults-neighbour-battle-Huntingtons.html
The awful Facebook images are in that article too.
So what do we do with people like this, subhumans? Allow them to ruin countries? To kill thousands, millions of people?
Yep. Would you kill one of them if it would save thousands of victims? If it was known that you had a grade A sociopath who was going to carry out some evil plan? Oh people might talk about unintended consequences, but you know, sometimes people do actually just do the bloody right thing. Just not often enough? I dunno.
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Agreed Bones. The perp looks like a nasty cow, too: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2085858/Kathleen-Edward-Dies-facing-horrendous-insults-neighbour-battle-Huntingtons.html
The awful Facebook images are in that article too.
So what do we do with people like this, subhumans? Allow them to ruin countries? To kill thousands, millions of people?
Yep. Would you kill one of them if it would save thousands of victims? If it was known that you had a grade A sociopath who was going to carry out some evil plan? Oh people might talk about unintended consequences, but you know, sometimes people do actually just do the bloody right thing. Just not often enough? I dunno.
And the other question would be if we kill one of them to save thousands of victims, wouldn't we be lowering ourselves to the same level as the subhuman monsters? This would be separate from capital punishment where the sociopath has been tried, convicted, and condemned in a court of law, (e.g. the Oklahoma City Bomber). Otherwise, to become vigilantes and lynch mobs does not help the situation. Just my thoughts.
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That's one problem Bones.
Re: lowering ourselves to the same level as the subhuman monsters? I doubt that, because of 'motivation' differences. But the issues are complex. If you're interested, see the thought experiments 2, 3 and 4 on this page:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/4954856.stm
I used to hold big beliefs in the law (because my life was simple?). Now I don't so much, because it's only the best (as we see it) we've got (and that heavily depends on which country you're living in). It is all so very relative. People could go on and on in thinking about such things.
Just sometimes, the right thing to do is so blindingly obvious. The law may stop us doing it. The law may be wrong. But then I'm only talking about me. I wouldn't condone or encourage any other person to do the right thing (as I saw it) because they're the one who has to live with their actions. And that's where vigilantes and lynch mobs come in - nasty brutish group behaviour. I avoid most obvious groups.
And I don't agree with the death penalty, unless there are very specific circumstances. But I don't particularly wish to go over that ground.
We may never have all of the 'facts', but sometimes we have more than enough to reach a decision.
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That's one problem Bones.
Re: lowering ourselves to the same level as the subhuman monsters? I doubt that, because of 'motivation' differences. But the issues are complex. If you're interested, see the thought experiments 2, 3 and 4 on this page:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/4954856.stm
I used to hold big beliefs in the law (because my life was simple?). Now I don't so much, because it's only the best (as we see it) we've got (and that heavily depends on which country you're living in). It is all so very relative. People could go on and on in thinking about such things.
Just sometimes, the right thing to do is so blindingly obvious. The law may stop us doing it. The law may be wrong. But then I'm only talking about me. I wouldn't condone or encourage any other person to do the right thing (as I saw it) because they're the one who has to live with their actions. And that's where vigilantes and lynch mobs come in - nasty brutish group behaviour. I avoid most obvious groups.
And I don't agree with the death penalty, unless there are very specific circumstances. But I don't particularly wish to go over that ground.
We may never have all of the 'facts', but sometimes we have more than enough to reach a decision.
I guess, for myself, I see both sides of the coin. Monsters need to be removed from our midst because of what they do. Those I classify as monsters are pedophiles, serial killers, terrorists who commit mass murder....that concept. As for lynch mobs and vigilantes, given my ancestral history where relatives were often threatened with being lynched because of the color of their skin and not being subservient to whites, that is a very sensitive subject. Where do we find the healthy balance?
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Not sure if I was clear about lynch mobs and vigilantes, Bones; I abhor that kind of behaviour. I pretty much run away fast from any kind of group mentality.
So, are you asking: where do we find the healthy balance between the law at one end and lynch mobs at the other?
I'm not sure we can, as an idea, a theory, a thing to be written down and adhered to. But for actions regarding particular situations, I guess we have to individually ask where we stand, what our morals are, what our responsibilities are (to ourselves and others) and act within those thoughts.
The healthy balance is where you or I see someone being cruel and we stop them, or attempt to. The motive is rescue, not persecution (how many lynch mobs are about rescue?).
On the other hand, if I believe that drug-dealers are the scum of the earth and that I'm saving unknown 'good' people by killing them all, I deserve to be locked up - because that's persecution.
Well, that's what I think at the moment. The trouble is, my thinking could change.
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((the end of story message is that in America a person can emotionally abuse their terminally ill underage neighbor and get away with it))----see this is why I'm not patriotic. I'm not proud to be an American. We don't have any moral values as a country. Makes me feel angry and sad. I would put it back on the judicial system. What did the judge decide...probation. Should have made an example out of her. That's what I would have done. Because this woman who did this, she did it before, I'm sure this is not the first time she ever bullied somebody....they just take it further and futher each time they do it...to see what they can get away with. IMO
This is very tragic for this family, the daughter, mother and grandfather all had this illness I think if I'm reading this right.
The up side of facebook and these social media things is that instead of the abuse being witnessed only in a single neighborhood the whole country is now reading news articles about it. If it wasn't for the social media outlet maybe these cases would not have become news. When it becomes nation wide news I think it gives more "voice" back to the suffering family and others who suffer in the same way.
I too wish that the woman would have received more than a few months of probation though. That is just a pointless slap on the wrist. I think emotional suffering is real and should be treated accordingly. This woman did harm to her neighbors and it was so un called for.
I think bully's facial expression in the article is so weird it's that vacant, flat-affect look.
I'm just not convinced that she doesnt know better...she is an adult and unless she is insane then she should have picked up some social norms by now. She knows better, she is just mean spirited period.
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((the end of story message is that in America a person can emotionally abuse their terminally ill underage neighbor and get away with it))----see this is why I'm not patriotic. I'm not proud to be an American. We don't have any moral values as a country. Makes me feel angry and sad. I would put it back on the judicial system. What did the judge decide...probation. Should have made an example out of her. That's what I would have done. Because this woman who did this, she did it before, I'm sure this is not the first time she ever bullied somebody....they just take it further and futher each time they do it...to see what they can get away with. IMO
This is very tragic for this family, the daughter, mother and grandfather all had this illness I think if I'm reading this right.
The up side of facebook and these social media things is that instead of the abuse being witnessed only in a single neighborhood the whole country is now reading news articles about it. If it wasn't for the social media outlet maybe these cases would not have become news. When it becomes nation wide news I think it gives more "voice" back to the suffering family and others who suffer in the same way.
I too wish that the woman would have received more than a few months of probation though. That is just a pointless slap on the wrist. I think emotional suffering is real and should be treated accordingly. This woman did harm to her neighbors and it was so un called for.
I think bully's facial expression in the article is so weird it's that vacant, flat-affect look.
I'm just not convinced that she doesn't know better...she is an adult and unless she is insane then she should have picked up some social norms by now. She knows better, she is just mean spirited period.
I agree that the bully is a mean-spirited b*tch! I believe that Instant Karma will get her in the end and payback will be h*ll for her, which she will richly deserve!
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Just checking in.....
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All that you have said makes sense Bones, I have a window into what it is like, a small sense of similarity in myself. I guess even within NTs there are variations of, er, sensitivities? If that indeed makes sense. Just because I can tolerate something and smile doesn't mean that I like it!
Thanks, Freshwater.
I've been reading the chapter about Selective Mutism and after I've seen descriptions "from the inside out", e.g. thinking in pictures but unable to translate those pictures into words.......I reacted with.......CHECK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm also remembering a little about the descriptions of my Dad and looking at the pictures of him has made me wonder if he was an Aspie too? (I often heard descriptions of how he left school because he was so bored. The way his school day had been structured was he would have Study Hall as the last period and he would have all his homework finished before going home. When he asked for additional school work, he was refused. The school system simply did NOT know what to do with him because he "didn't fit the mold".....and this was DECADES before Hans Asperger identified the Syndrome.)
I've finished reading the library book and I'm still going back and re-reading chapters that resonate with me....e.g. Stomach Issues and Autism (Check!). The book also includes other websites for information: http://www.help4aspergers.com/pb/wp_a58d4f6a/wp_a58d4f6a.html . I remember, when I was a child, I was diagnosed as "emotionally disturbed" because I didn't fit anything else in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual at the time. (Asperger's was not included until 1994 so before then, MANY Baby Boomer Aspies were misdiagnosed and given inappropriate treatment(s) that did NOTHING!) I recall the pediatrician telling NWombDonor that I would have MANY developmental issues because I was three months premature. (She attempted to use that as excuse to get rid of me.) I'm still exploring the other websites to see what resources are available for someone my age.
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It's so exciting that you've found a book that understands YOU, Bones.
I remember so many times when I would find a book and find myself...it is such a relief.
Makes you feel less alone. Helps you view yourself compassionately, be your own friend.
That is really, really cool.
Keep on keepin' on in looking for resources. You are such determination on legs,
and that's inspiring!
Hops
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It's so exciting that you've found a book that understands YOU, Bones.
I remember so many times when I would find a book and find myself...it is such a relief.
Makes you feel less alone. Helps you view yourself compassionately, be your own friend.
That is really, really cool.
Keep on keepin' on in looking for resources. You are such determination on legs,
and that's inspiring!
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
One of the other things I came across while reading the links on Asperger's was the difficulty in recognizing faces, even faces of family members. I've lost count as to how many times that has happened to me....including times when I encountered famous people and didn't recognize them immediately! For example, at a Star Trek convention, I literally bumped into Majel Barrett while shopping in the Dealer's Room. (I was so deep into my "Zone" that I wasn't aware of anyone else around me.) When I looked up, I didn't recognize her, mumbled "Sorry", then started to go back inside my "Bubble". She said "Howdy!". The second time I came out of my "Zone" and made eye contact, I suddenly realized what I had just done and I was MORTIFIED! She thought it was hysterically funny and wasn't insulted at all! Boy was my face RED!!!! :oops:
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More Asperger's information:
http://www.help4aspergers.com/pb/wp_4a3112c8/wp_4a3112c8.html
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Spotted this on the Autism Hangout blog and I can relate!!!!!
http://www.autismhangout.com/myhangout/blog.asp?id=1584&blogID=1375
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That list of traits is very helpful, Bones...makes a lot of sense.
I like it that what sometimes looks "selfish" has nothing to do with not being caring or nice...it's just the Aspie brain doing what it does, so there's zero point being annoyed. Nothing is intended, it's just that person interacting with the world the way they can and must. Patience and compassion would probably help, huh?
And all hail Trekkies! (Not that I know anything about it, but I've always had a very soft heart for folks who find such joy in that world. One of my new coworkers just lights up when he thinks about it.)
:)
Hops
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That list of traits is very helpful, Bones...makes a lot of sense.
I like it that what sometimes looks "selfish" has nothing to do with not being caring or nice...it's just the Aspie brain doing what it does, so there's zero point being annoyed. Nothing is intended, it's just that person interacting with the world the way they can and must. Patience and compassion would probably help, huh?
And all hail Trekkies! (Not that I know anything about it, but I've always had a very soft heart for folks who find such joy in that world. One of my new coworkers just lights up when he thinks about it.)
:)
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
I'm glad you understand.
BTW, Star Trek is one of the things I will go on and on about....especially Deep Space Nine! I like watching the DVDs over and over again.
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And another resource on Spectrum Disorders:
http://www.templegrandin.com/
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One of the questions I have struggled with is should I get a formal diagnosis as opposed to being self-diagnosed. I spotted the following comment, by Temple Grandin, about this very issue:
"Older people who suspect that they are on the spectrum ask me all the time if they should get a formal diagnosis. If their job and life is stable, I recommend keeping it off the electronic medical records. They can obtain understanding by reading books on autism and attending meetings. The only reason to get a formal diagnosis is to obtain services."
Unfortunately, where I live, there are NO services for Baby Boomers who are on the Spectrum. Voc. Rehab. does NOT have a clue on what to do with people like us! It feels like a Catch-22! :P
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Well Bones, I guess you'll have to "make do" with us, then! LOL...
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Well Bones, I guess you'll have to "make do" with us, then! LOL...
Thanks, P.R.! :)
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At times, my being an Aspie gets in the way with 3-D people........
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in what way, Bones?
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in what way, Bones?
People who are NT, (Neurotypical), tend to view Aspies as "Weird".
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I recommend keeping it off the electronic medical records.
Oh this makes me sad, I know it's the crazy world that we live in...but it's crazy making these systems...health insurance, peoples fear and misunderstanding of other peoples problems....not getting as much help as possible because the help comes with it's own negative consequences....
every where I look I see reasons to "buck the system"....
Whatever you decide to do Bones I hope it works out for you. I've personally wondered if I have aspergers or borderline personality or if I'm merely a sensitive person with a troubled incarnation to live out. Gosh sometimes I don't feel like I'm living it out though...it feels like a long endurance test....Oy..
I've always liked Aspie people??---whatever is weird about them I don't seem to pick it up??
Hi I'm neuroatypical?
OR, Hi I'm neurotypical and I like long walks on the beach...
PS I mean I have read about Aspie people not picking up certain social cues....gosh I mean how does one introduce oneself when one has aspergers...
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I recommend keeping it off the electronic medical records.
Oh this makes me sad, I know it's the crazy world that we live in...but it's crazy making these systems...health insurance, peoples fear and misunderstanding of other peoples problems....not getting as much help as possible because the help comes with it's own negative consequences....
every where I look I see reasons to "buck the system"....
Whatever you decide to do Bones I hope it works out for you. I've personally wondered if I have aspergers or borderline personality or if I'm merely a sensitive person with a troubled incarnation to live out. Gosh sometimes I don't feel like I'm living it out though...it feels like a long endurance test....Oy..
I've always liked Aspie people??---whatever is weird about them I don't seem to pick it up??
Thanks, Roots.
I've posted links that describe the various Aspie traits. Part of me wants an official diagnosis and, at the same time, I'm painfully aware that there are no services available for Baby Boomer Aspies in the area where I live. The assessments are prohibitively expensive and the professionals don't accept health insurance. To add to the complication, a vast majority of the qualified professionals focus only on children, not adults. And if an individual is a senior citizen, the chances of finding a qualified professional to conduct an Asperger's assessment and have it paid for by health insurance is slim and none.
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Well Bones, I believe that I'm NT and I don't view Aspies as weird.
But then I have a whole other load of people who have been in my life who I do view as very very weird.
Being NT doesn't make people gracious, smart, kind, compassionate, funny, accepting, curious. Being NT, they can also be as screwed up as one can be.
I tend to like Aspie-type people (I think I know a couple in 3D). I like people who are direct and say what they mean, even if that's not 'socially acceptable'. I don't have much regard for 'society'.
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Well Bones, I believe that I'm NT and I don't view Aspies as weird.
But then I have a whole other load of people who have been in my life who I do view as very very weird.
Being NT doesn't make people gracious, smart, kind, compassionate, funny, accepting, curious. Being NT, they can also be as screwed up as one can be.
I tend to like Aspie-type people (I think I know a couple in 3D). I like people who are direct and say what they mean, even if that's not 'socially acceptable'. I don't have much regard for 'society'.
Thanks, Freshwater.
I wish more NTs were open-minded; then more Aspies won't have to feel as if we have to hide in a closet....figuratively or literally.
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Spotted this in "Dear Abby" on Monday, January 16, 2012:
DEAR ABBY: This is an open letter to parents out there who bring their kids to adults-only events because they couldn't get a baby sitter, but didn't want to miss out on a fun time. Listen, folks -- when you signed on for parenthood, you gave up the privilege to party anytime you want. An invitation stating "adults only" means just that. Do not expect the hosts to tone it down because you were too selfish to stay home with your child.
I attended a 50th birthday party to which one mom brought her 5-year-old daughter. She then requested the host "sanitize" the event, but he refused. That mom spent most of the time covering her child's eyes. (She tried to cover the girl's ears, too, without success.)
Not only was there a racy birthday cake and adult toys as gifts, but the adults weren't holding back in conversations, either. Instead of leaving, the mom stayed -- until the male stripper started performing. She was mad, but it was her own fault that her little daughter witnessed more than she should have.
Parents should be grown-ups. That means occasionally missing out on something because they are no longer single and childless. Please don't mess up somebody's party with your selfishness. -- RESPONSIBLE MOM IN L.A.
========================================================================================================
God, does this bring back memories of the NWombDonor exposing us to more than we should have, while we were still little kids, because SHE didn't want to "miss out" on stuff that SHE wanted to do! Then we got punished for asking questions about what we just witnessed among adults!!!! :P
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I understand Bones.
I heard someone on the radio today use the phrase "this culture of entitlement" and while I enjoyed hearing it recognised out loud on an everyday programme, I didn't like to hear the examples of how 'ordinary' people behave these days - like complete nutters.
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These parents get on my nerves. I mean kids are okay and fun within a context but the idea that the whole world SHOULD ALWAYS be child friendly......your story bones is an example of a person who thinks the whole world revolves around them selves and their child...seems like having children brings this out in these people even more. I think they learn that they can control other people through their children and that is probably really what it's about to see how far they can take it. I mean what sort of idiot parent brings their kid to a party where there is going to be a stripper....strippers are not free after all. Gee...I know you paid for a stripper, I know you planned an adult party.....I know everybody else left their kids at home....BUT since I'm here I'm demanding that you all stop what you are doing and....do what I want you to do.....look how cute my kid is, look how smart my kid is...isnt my kid great.....(look how cute I am, look how smart I am, see I'm great).....
I've got an example to go along with this. In the past I painted (art). I knew an owner of a cafe and so had some of my canvasses put up in a cafe on the wall. There was a parent that touched with his hands an (one of mine) oil painting and removed it off of the wall without even asking the owner of the cafe...and then handed it to the owner and said that his child was bumping into the painting and it was in the way....Okay....the parent could have moved the childs chair to the other side of the table that is not adjacent to the wall....I don't know it was really weird. Maybe the guy just has an issue with art in general.
Honestly its one of the strangest things I've seen a parent do. OR maybe even super arrogant. Because there is some kind of basic rules that says you don't touch art with grubby hands, you don't rearrange art in a public place without asking the owners about it etc. And if your kid is bumping into something...then it makes more sense to move the kid...
Gosh, a parent that thinks everytime his kid is going to bump into something that the something shouldn't be in his kid's way!
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These parents get on my nerves. I mean kids are okay and fun within a context but the idea that the whole world SHOULD ALWAYS be child friendly......your story bones is an example of a person who thinks the whole world revolves around them selves and their child...seems like having children brings this out in these people even more. I think they learn that they can control other people through their children and that is probably really what it's about to see how far they can take it. I mean what sort of idiot parent brings their kid to a party where there is going to be a stripper....strippers are not free after all. Gee...I know you paid for a stripper, I know you planned an adult party.....I know everybody else left their kids at home....BUT since I'm here I'm demanding that you all stop what you are doing and....do what I want you to do.....look how cute my kid is, look how smart my kid is...isnt my kid great.....(look how cute I am, look how smart I am, see I'm great).....
I've got an example to go along with this. In the past I painted (art). I knew an owner of a cafe and so had some of my canvasses put up in a cafe on the wall. There was a parent that touched with his hands an (one of mine) oil painting and removed it off of the wall without even asking the owner of the cafe...and then handed it to the owner and said that his child was bumping into the painting and it was in the way....Okay....the parent could have moved the childs chair to the other side of the table that is not adjacent to the wall....I don't know it was really weird. Maybe the guy just has an issue with art in general.
Honestly its one of the strangest things I've seen a parent do. OR maybe even super arrogant. Because there is some kind of basic rules that says you don't touch art with grubby hands, you don't rearrange art in a public place without asking the owners about it etc. And if your kid is bumping into something...then it makes more sense to move the kid...
Gosh, a parent that thinks every time his kid is going to bump into something that the something shouldn't be in his kid's way!
Geez!!! There's child-proofing and then there is being RIDICULOUS!!!!!! I don't understand these self-centered morons!!!!
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I understand Bones.
I heard someone on the radio today use the phrase "this culture of entitlement" and while I enjoyed hearing it recognised out loud on an everyday programme, I didn't like to hear the examples of how 'ordinary' people behave these days - like complete nutters.
Thanks, Freshwater.
Sounds about right with N's who have this attitude of ENTITLEMENT! When I was reading the letter in Dear Abby this morning, it reminded me of a situation that occurred with NDoofus and her sister/brother-in-law/nephew. The sister and brother-in-law invited NDoofus to fly down with them during a vacation with the stipulation that in exchange for a free flight, free room, etc. that NDoofus would babysit the nephew while her sister and brother-in-law attended an 'adults only' event. At the last minute, NDooofus ANNOUNCED that SHE wanted to go sight-seeing instead of being with her nephew! She was reminded that she had agreed to babysit her nephew in exchange for having her flight, etc. paid for by her sister and brother-in-law. What did NDoofus do? She took off without telling them where she was going and when she was going to be back....basically, SHE BAILED ON THEM, left them holding the bag without a babysitter and no time to find another one! As a result, they couldn't attend the 'adults only' event, which happened to be related to his job, and NDoofus didn't bother to come back until the wee hours of the morning!!! Then had the EFFING NERVE to wonder WHY THEY WERE UPSET because SHE WAS ENTITLED TO DO AS SHE PLEASED! She complained to me later that she couldn't understand why she was no longer invited to go anywhere with them! I basically responded: "Well DUH!!!" God she was SO STUPID, ARROGANT, SELF-CENTERED, AND SELF-ABSORBED! DAMN!
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Regarding Letter Number One about the remodeling....as usual, the Annie's JUST DON'T GET IT!
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/kitchen-remodel-causes-family-rift.html
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How many of us have N's who attempt to pull this stunt?
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120117
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I feel like I want to SCREAM in frustration so this vent might end up being very long!
On Monday, Martin Luther King Day, I participated with a group of CERT members, the American Red Cross, and Ham Radio Operators, for a Day of Service, helping to disseminate information to nearby residents, in a neighboring city (not mine), about emergency preparedness. When I got back home, I sent an e-mail to the president of the home owners association, the chair of sector advisory coalition, and part of the safety and security committee to discuss the following concerns that came to mind while I was reading over, and quoting from, a copy of the flyer that I was distributing around this other neighborhood some miles away from home:
Neighborhood Watch....I've been trying to organize more residents to assist with either Static Watch or Mobile Patrol because there has been a series of car break-ins as well as break-ins at the main building where we have a fitness room and swimming pool available to residents. There are also numerous gangs nearby and some members of one of those gangs attacked and murdered a student at a nearby high school. All I've gotten in response is apathy and more apathy. Yet, when something new happens, these same apathetic people B*TCH about WHY DOESN'T SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING! (HELLO, folks! I can't do this ALONE!!!! We need teamwork, PLEASE!)
Emergency Preparedness.....quoting from the flyer: "Although they seldom occur, our area is not immune to natural or man-made disasters. We may need to be self-sufficient for a period of 72 hours or more before city, county, or state authorities might be able to respond to our needs."
Where I live, the Emergency Preparedness and Operations Plan that is ON PAPER has NOT been updated for TEN YEARS and has NEVER been tested with any kind of practice drill to see if what is on paper actually works in real life! (What is hypothetical or theoretical, mentally, does NOT always translate well into actual practice. Am I making sense?) To add to the frustration, the Plan does NOT mention any involvement with CERT at all. My community has experienced hurricanes, tornadoes, blizzards, and earthquakes and, as a result, my particular development has been ISOLATED during these crises. Unfortunately, there are people in my community that do NOT have a clue of what and what NOT to do during an emergency and, what's worse, REFUSE to do even the BASIC preparations such as having a supply of non-perishable food in the house in case we lose electricity and/or natural gas, again, which would result in being unable to use the refrigerator, stove, and/or microwave. Their excuse? "The police and fire department will take care of us." What we have experienced has taught them NOTHING!
I've also discussed the Community Emergency Response Team several times and feel like I've done nothing except talk to "blank walls". I am the ONLY CERT member where I live and trying to respond to emergencies involving about 300 residences is too overwhelming. No one else in my community seems to "GET" that! Their attitude is: "Let someone else do it. I don't want to be bothered"....until another crisis happens and then the sh*t hits the fan!
I stated that I may be a lone voice crying in the wilderness and, at the same time, "playing ostrich" is NOT going to help us when the next emergency occurs; whether it is another hurricane, tornado, blizzard, earthquake, etc. I also commented that I know that it is a LOT of "preaching on my soapbox" and, at the same time, I feel that these issues need to be discussed and acted upon. I repeated to them that I CANNOT DO IT ALONE! I asked these people...if this nearby city, that is only a few miles away. can accomplish all this, WHY CAN'T WE?
The response I got: "You'll be the perfect person to head up this project!"
I DON'T WANT TO BE THE PERFECT PERSON TO HEAD UP THIS PROJECT!!!! Why? BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE WANTS TO BE BOTHERED AND I END UP ALONE AGAIN AND THIS IS TOO OVERWHELMING FOR ONE PERSON!!!!
They just DON'T GET IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Banging head on desk!*
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I feel your frustration Bones.
Those people who are driving you nuts... are the future zombies of the apocalypse. I wouldn't waste my breath trying to convince them to be prepared. They will expect someone to take care of them, after the SHTF and all is chaos. Doesn't have to be you. You need to develop a "go plan", and destination for yourself just in case "sheltering in place" isn't all that safe.
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I feel your frustration Bones.
Those people who are driving you nuts... are the future zombies of the apocalypse. I wouldn't waste my breath trying to convince them to be prepared. They will expect someone to take care of them, after the SHTF and all is chaos. Doesn't have to be you. You need to develop a "go plan", and destination for yourself just in case "sheltering in place" isn't all that safe.
Thanks, P.R.
We're having a home owners meeting tonight and I'll be bringing materials and flapping my gums again.
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On top of everything, some MORON decided to use the stairwell as a toilet!!! GEEZ!!!! :evil:
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Aww, Bones.
You want so much for others to join you shoulder to shoulder and step up...
Just take on what you realistically can -- and know that even if others resist your leadership,
you can only be responsible for what ONE human reasonably can. CERTIfied or not.
The challenge is to not let the others' blind spots spoil your view. Or to believe that if
THEY don't show you sufficient respect, that means you're not worthy of it. Of course
you are. But its your own self-respect that has the most value.
I hope you take pleasure in your knowledge and your confidence about CERT.
There must be a sense of alarm, but remember, even when they're balky and flighty,
they're still human with you...warts (blind spots) and all.
Hugs,
Hops
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Aww, Bones.
You want so much for others to join you shoulder to shoulder and step up...
Just take on what you realistically can -- and know that even if others resist your leadership,
you can only be responsible for what ONE human reasonably can. CERTIfied or not.
The challenge is to not let the others' blind spots spoil your view. Or to believe that if
THEY don't show you sufficient respect, that means you're not worthy of it. Of course
you are. But its your own self-respect that has the most value.
I hope you take pleasure in your knowledge and your confidence about CERT.
There must be a sense of alarm, but remember, even when they're balky and flighty,
they're still human with you...warts (blind spots) and all.
Hugs,
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
The Board seems open to what I suggested so I have some homework to do.
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Hoping to find the additional information I need soon.
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As I was browsing through the advice columns this morning, I came across one letter from a parent of two children, ages 9 and 11. The letter writer and his wife had been hiring the 17-year-old neighbor's daughter as a baby sitter for quite a while until there was an incident. While the parents of these young children were attending an adults only party with the parents of the 17-year-old, and the 17-year-old was SUPPOSED to be babysitting the kids plus another young child who was sleeping over, the 17-year-old walked all three kids to HER house, took her parents' car, and drove the children to an ice cream store where HER friends were working. Then she told these three children to "keep it a secret". The letter writer found out about this unauthorized excursion three days later when his 9-year-old spilled the beans accidentally. The father called the 17-year-old baby sitter about this unauthorized trip and fired her.
However, the baby sitter's parents are ANGRY at the letter writer, claiming that what their 17-year-old daughter did "wasn't illegal" and, as I continued to read the letter, I was getting the feeling that the baby sitter's parents were basically telling the letter writer: "How DARE you object to what OUR daughter WANTS to do!" What made it worse was reading the comments "below the line" where they all accused the letter writer, and father of these two YOUNG kids, of "over-reacting"!
EXCUSE ME!!!! If I was the parent of YOUNG children, ESPECIALLY if my kids were under the age of 12, and I learned that the baby sitter took my kids somewhere, late at night, WITHOUT my permission and then TOLD my kids NOT to tell me what the sitter did......I WOULD BE LIVID THAT SHE PUT MY KIDS AT RISK SO SHE COULD HANG OUT WITH HER FRIENDS!!!! Over-reacting, my A$$!!!!
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I feel like I'm having a cyclothymic episode. Monday through Wednesday, I was talking about many ideas for my community and now, today, I feel like I want to crawl back into bed, pull the blankets over me, and thinking suicidal thoughts. OY! :(
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Rest, breathe, remember -- things ebb and flow and REST and SELF-CARE need to be daily.
(Preaching to myself...)
Don't despair, Bones.
If the thoughts get worse, please call a hotline.
love,
Hops
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Rest, breathe, remember -- things ebb and flow and REST and SELF-CARE need to be daily.
(Preaching to myself...)
Don't despair, Bones.
If the thoughts get worse, please call a hotline.
love,
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
Ironically, my last job was with a suicide hotline so the number(s) I would dial would automatically ring THERE where they know me as a former co-worker. Awkward.
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I hope you've relaxed a little, Bones.
I'm sure the CERT stuff feels a bit out of your comfort zone... you've already said you're pretty sure no one is going to volunteer and be reliable. It would freak me out, too. I've often suggested an idea and it's been interpreted that I'm volunteering and before you know it, I'm totally overwhelmed. Just set a firm commitment to yourself, that if no one else will accept responsibility for parts of the project that you need to delegate... you WON'T DO IT AT ALL.
And maybe you're coming down with whatever bug hit me. I've been regaining some energy and brain function the last few days... but it's easily used up. Even this morning - I woke up incredibly early... I guess since I've been sleeping long for days... and I was totally miserable and the tears just ran like a steady rain. By noon... all was well again. I was too exhausted to try to explain it to myself... Some of it was just the nasty bug.... and me feeling flat-out helpless and miserable.
I treated myself to some skin and shower potions... sea salt scrub and some kind of egyptian oil balm... because my skin dries out & my nerve ending go bonkers this time of year. The heat, steam and oils really helped.
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I hope you've relaxed a little, Bones.
I'm sure the CERT stuff feels a bit out of your comfort zone... you've already said you're pretty sure no one is going to volunteer and be reliable. It would freak me out, too. I've often suggested an idea and it's been interpreted that I'm volunteering and before you know it, I'm totally overwhelmed. Just set a firm commitment to yourself, that if no one else will accept responsibility for parts of the project that you need to delegate... you WON'T DO IT AT ALL.
And maybe you're coming down with whatever bug hit me. I've been regaining some energy and brain function the last few days... but it's easily used up. Even this morning - I woke up incredibly early... I guess since I've been sleeping long for days... and I was totally miserable and the tears just ran like a steady rain. By noon... all was well again. I was too exhausted to try to explain it to myself... Some of it was just the nasty bug.... and me feeling flat-out helpless and miserable.
I treated myself to some skin and shower potions... sea salt scrub and some kind of egyptian oil balm... because my skin dries out & my nerve ending go bonkers this time of year. The heat, steam and oils really helped.
Thanks, P.R.
You're right, the CERT stuff is outside of my comfort zone, especially when I factor in the Aspie complications. Dealing with people face-to-face is draining, by itself, and dealing with idiots who assume that I'm going to do EVERYTHING by myself with no effort from them, while they sit and watch, makes me crazy! On top of that, a BIG birthday year is coming up next month and I'm feeling my age. I've been trying to plan a get-away with some friends and celebrate my birthday with them at a Star Trek Convention but now that is starting to look iffy when a convention organization announced to us that they decided they will use the room that we already reserved, weeks ago, for another activity. I feel like I'm being narcissistic for feeling upset at the prospect of my birthday celebration being canceled and, at the same time, I don't want a re-run of my 50th birthday where all my other friends were away at a Star Trek Convention, I was home, and Mr. Idiot IGNORED everything! ICK! :P
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In the midst of trying to plan for my birthday, it appears that someone I've known for over two decades is starting to hit on me. My "radar" is picking up on that he's interested in me sexually. That might have worked when I was still in my 20's during the 1970's but NOT NOW! I've gotten to the point where I find the local men ANNOYING while they behave like overgrown children. (These guys are ranging in age from mid-50's to 60's.) I've already stated, in more ways than one, I AM NOT AN OBJECT! I AM A HUMAN BEING! Yes, this dude makes me laugh with his comedy routines when we are all together as a group but I don't see any viable relationship with him. Here's why: (a) I am a recovering alcoholic and recovering drug addict. He LOVES his beer; (b) I have chronic medical issues and often need to have someone provide me transportation when I need to get somewhere. He has never had a driver's license because he has used the public transportation system all of his life. Where he grew up had no space to park cars so he's never depended on a car; (c) I have had a history of medical emergencies so I need to be able to contact SOMEONE whenever these emergencies occur. He REFUSES to get a cell-phone which would leave me no way to know WHERE to reach him during a medical crisis. The current Mr. Idiot is doing the same thing, which does NOT help!
In a sense, both Mr. Idiot and this other guy who is hitting on me have similar characteristics which makes me want to knock their skulls together! They both think they're being cute! I find it annoying! (During a recent dinner with my group of friends, my cell-phone started ringing. It was one of my condo neighbors calling about a nasty situation in the building and wanted to discuss it with me given that I'm the building captain. Because of the noise level in the restaurant, I was having a hard time hearing my neighbor clearly. Mr. Comedian suggested I take my cell phone INTO THE MEN'S ROOM even though I'm a female! Yeah, I smacked him for that suggestion! :x) Then while the group of us was discussing the upcoming Star Trek Convention and the necessary logistics of getting me there, Mr. Comedian announces that I can sleep in HIS motel room and that he sleeps naked! I DON'T NEED THAT KIND OF NONSENSE!!!! GEEZ!!!
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Eh... well... maybe you could enjoy the flattery of being hit on... knowing full well, it's not going further than that? At our age, I've noticed that there's some more flexibility (in me) that way... and I sure don't want to miss any of that attention! LOL... it's too rare now that I'm not 20 and 110 lbs. and overly-emotionally-careful.
OH! and I'm finally peeling away some of the hard layers off hubs... and getting down to explanations for that man-boy thing that irritates me... and sounds like you're dealing with too. I opened my mouth and unintentionally said something that hurt his feelings (I may not be aspie - but I picked up some traits via my FOO that aren't far off) and it was days before he even said anything to me about it. That gives me another idea... what if you could rely on someone ELSE for the transportation and your emergency contact; someone who's competent and reliable... and not have that be part of the job description for a significant other? Maybe... one of your CERT friends?
I'm slowly figuring out, that as we age... we really, really, really need to have that network of friends and mutual support people. It's more important that when we were 13, you know?
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Eh... well... maybe you could enjoy the flattery of being hit on... knowing full well, it's not going further than that? At our age, I've noticed that there's some more flexibility (in me) that way... and I sure don't want to miss any of that attention! LOL... it's too rare now that I'm not 20 and 110 lbs. and overly-emotionally-careful.
OH! and I'm finally peeling away some of the hard layers off hubs... and getting down to explanations for that man-boy thing that irritates me... and sounds like you're dealing with too. I opened my mouth and unintentionally said something that hurt his feelings (I may not be aspie - but I picked up some traits via my FOO that aren't far off) and it was days before he even said anything to me about it. That gives me another idea... what if you could rely on someone ELSE for the transportation and your emergency contact; someone who's competent and reliable... and not have that be part of the job description for a significant other? Maybe... one of your CERT friends?
I'm slowly figuring out, that as we age... we really, really, really need to have that network of friends and mutual support people. It's more important that when we were 13, you know?
Thanks, P.R.
Just trying to figure out who I can rely on, during a personal medical emergency, is a challenge.
Regarding the male mentality, maybe it's just me. I find the crude sexual jokes more and more annoying as I get older. I don't like feeling like I'm an object. At least once, when I was with a group of other people, (not related to the group I hang out with now), we were talking about depression and self-medicating that depression. I made the comment about how I felt like saying: "Screw the whole world!" One male made a snarky comment: "Well, I wanted to screw the whole world but the hole wasn't big enough! Hee-Hee-Hee!" (Sounded like Beavis and Butt-Head to me.) I looked him straight in the face and replied: "Well, you could always play fireman with it!" I never saw a male beat feet so fast! The women were all on the floor, laughing their butts off! I just shook my head.
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here...................... :|
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I find the crude sexual jokes more and more annoying as I get older.
ME TOO, Bones!!! I feel like, "grow up already! If you think that's an invitation (or attractive) that I'm going to accept, you'll never get any!"
As I learned about boundaries... dealt with the old emotional injuries of being raped... and self-respect... self-love... I got hyper-sensitive to those kinds of comments. And I still feel that those kinds of comments are hostile and subtly aggressive. But poor hubs... doesn't know any other way to be. It's like he's so confused about me & my feelings/needs... and insecure about himself... he has to turn it all into a joke that's in bad taste. Like he's trying to lower the risk-factor of a rejection... you know? And in the process, he's insuring that he gets one... and it's a reinforcing feedback loop.
So... I've been trying to ignore the STYLE of these comments and just see him, instead. Not let the delivery-style raise my hackles or cause a total shut-down/withdrawal. There's more to it, of course. But I'll throw that up over on the relationship thread.
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I find the crude sexual jokes more and more annoying as I get older.
ME TOO, Bones!!! I feel like, "grow up already! If you think that's an invitation (or attractive) that I'm going to accept, you'll never get any!"
As I learned about boundaries... dealt with the old emotional injuries of being raped... and self-respect... self-love... I got hyper-sensitive to those kinds of comments. And I still feel that those kinds of comments are hostile and subtly aggressive. But poor hubs... doesn't know any other way to be. It's like he's so confused about me & my feelings/needs... and insecure about himself... he has to turn it all into a joke that's in bad taste. Like he's trying to lower the risk-factor of a rejection... you know? And in the process, he's insuring that he gets one... and it's a reinforcing feedback loop.
So... I've been trying to ignore the STYLE of these comments and just see him, instead. Not let the delivery-style raise my hackles or cause a total shut-down/withdrawal. There's more to it, of course. But I'll throw that up over on the relationship thread.
Thanks, P.R.
It feels like the males in my age group are still behaving like little boys. YRRRRCCCCHHHHH!!!!!!
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I looked him straight in the face and replied: "Well, you could always play fireman with it!" I never saw a male beat feet so fast! The women were all on the floor, laughing their butts off! I just shook my head.
Thats the way to crack that whip BONES!!!!! Smile
If you get pissy at their teasing they think your reaction is funny but if you show them how unmanly they are being they get embarrassed.
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I looked him straight in the face and replied: "Well, you could always play fireman with it!" I never saw a male beat feet so fast! The women were all on the floor, laughing their butts off! I just shook my head.
That's the way to crack that whip BONES!!!!! Smile
If you get pissy at their teasing they think your reaction is funny but if you show them how unmanly they are being they get embarrassed.
Thanks, Starlight.
I wish I could figure out what is wrong with the male species and why they behave so illogically.
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I'm trying to figure out if this first letter was written by a Narcissist or if it's a fake written by some kid with nothing better to do:
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/yours-would-be-some-farewell-note.html
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Only an N would do something like this! :P
http://news.yahoo.com/mother-allegedly-sets-fire-home-toddler-inside-210900394.html;_ylt=AoSrI7WNq9OWXsSi.2CblczzWed_;_ylu=X3oDMTRvbjlwMm9lBGNjb2RlA2dtcHRvcDEwMDBwb29sd2lraXVwcmVzdARtaXQDTmV3cyBmb3IgeW91BHBrZwM5YmQzOTQwMi1hYWQ3LTM4MDQtODhiNS02NjU5N2QyMzZjNGQEcG9zAzgEc2VjA25ld3NfZm9yX3lvdQR2ZXIDNTA1Nzc2ZjAtNDQ3NC0xMWUxLTlmZmQtMzk1OTBkODhiMDk4;_ylg=X3oDMTJyN3VwNTBzBGludGwDdXMEbGFuZwNlbi11cwRwc3RhaWQDNDcyZGQ1ZmYtN2QzNC0zOGZkLWIwYjUtMjNkNDdjODFhODhmBHBzdGNhdAN1cwRwdANzdG9yeXBhZ2UEdGVzdAM-;_ylv=3
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here...............
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The Annies really BLEW IT with Letter Writer #2!!! I read the Annie's response and my immediate reaction was: "Are you EFFING KIDDING ME?!?!?!?"
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/angry-with-angry-birds.html
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Well, Hiya Bones! Besides the letter reading, how are you getting along? :)
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Well, Hiya Bones! Besides the letter reading, how are you getting along? :)
Thanks, Starlight.
I'm taking it one day at a time. Some days are okay and other days are lousy.
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For those who are parents, what are your thoughts on the first letter?
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120126
For me, I guess I'm "Old School".
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Maybe it's just me, but I have a different "take" on why this conflict is happening.
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120125
Is it possible that the parents, in this scenario, are attempting to undermine this young woman's self-confidence as an attempt to force absolute, total, unquestioned control as if she were still a baby?
What do you think?
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And once again, I feel that the Annies have blown it!
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/child-from-previous-affair.html
"Don't rush into a divorce?" My A$$! In the letter writer's shoes, I would have changed the locks, contacted a divorce lawyer, and looked into how to take care of that "newly renovated love nest" for my financial benefit after the crap he's pulled all these years! Sheesh! :roll:
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A few moments ago, I received an e-mail containing a "joke" that made fun of school shootings, lock-downs, kids with disabilities, etc. (The e-mail was from a relative of mine.) In the e-mail, a young child is described in such a way as to infer that the child is on the Autism Spectrum co-morbid with ADHD. (I've encountered children like that when I was working in a school for the Deaf. It happens. Having been born with multiple disabilities, including the possibility of Asperger's, I empathize with the kid who has these neurological challenges because of the way the child's brain is wired.) This relative hints that all that kid needs is "a good beating...ha-ha-ha!" I wrote him back informing him that I fail to see the "humor" in his joke. (I didn't tell him that I had been FREQUENTLY beaten BECAUSE my disabilities made the NWomb-Donor "look bad".)
This is also the same relative who sent me a racist joke after I had shared with him about the fact that half of my ancestry is African-American. That joke inferred that "lynching is funny" and actually used the N-Word as the "punch line"! :shock: (Yes, I chewed him out for that too!)
WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?!?!?!?
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Hi Bones,
In our FOO tribe, we were taught, even encouraged to spotlight what was wrong with others, especially those we should have loved the most. Was it Thumper who said, "If you can't say something nice about someone, don't say anything at all."
I loathe the thought of children being at the other end of crude remarks. Seems like the young ones get it from every side, doesn't it?
I'm not sure even Voltaire could defend some of the stuff that our society churns out nowadays.
tt
PS Half + my life was spent learning wrongheadedness. The other half has been spent trying to unlearn it. Ugh!!!
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Hi Bones,
In our FOO tribe, we were taught, even encouraged to spotlight what was wrong with others, especially those we should have loved the most. Was it Thumper who said, "If you can't say something nice about someone, don't say anything at all."
I loathe the thought of children being at the other end of crude remarks. Seems like the young ones get it from every side, doesn't it?
I'm not sure even Voltaire could defend some of the stuff that our society churns out nowadays.
tt
PS Half + my life was spent learning wrongheadedness. The other half has been spent trying to unlearn it. Ugh!!!
Thanks, TT.
I'm in a bit of a foul mood at the moment.
Last night, in the middle of the night, in the condominium development where I live, the alarm system went off within the two conjoined condo buildings. I'm the building captain in my building but the other building does not have a building captain...requiring me to act as the building captain for both buildings during this emergency. No one was sure if one of the condo units might have had a fire smoldering in the wall so I encouraged everyone to evacuate until the fire department arrived to check all the units in the two buildings. Some residents refused to take the situation seriously and went straight back to bed; others kept asking me what to do during the emergency while I was trying to keep track of who was where, from two buildings, in case the firemen had to go rescue someone in their unit. Bottom line, there is NO emergency plan in place in my condo development and I am the only CERT trained person here. The fact that children were also impacted during this emergency added to my concern for everyone's safety.
Fast forward....I sent an e-mail to the HOA Board and property management informing them that I had discussed last night's incident with the county emergency official and the head of the county CERT organization. The schedules of these two people have an opening to come to our next scheduled home owners meeting, in February, to add their voices to mine about emergency preparedness and why it is critical. (Their schedules are VERY HEAVY given that they are dealing with emergencies county-wide so when I learned they were available for the next meeting, I grabbed the opportunity.) The response I got back from the Board and property management basically asked: "Why can't I wait until March when it's more convenient for THEM?" (Are they EFFING KIDDING ME?!?!?)
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'sokay Bones!
tt
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'sokay Bones!
tt
Thanks, TT.
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Having insomnia since 1:00 this morning and can't get back to sleep.
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The response I got back from the Board and property management basically asked: "Why can't I wait until March when it's more convenient for THEM?" (Are they EFFING KIDDING ME?!?!?)
No, Bones - they're not kidding. It very well could be that they are afraid to learn - have it pointed out - that they "should" be doing something that they're not currently; or that they'll need to correct some obvious safety issues. That would wind up being more work or cost for them, you know? And of course, in the process they have to discount the risk that does exist.
That's pretty standard human behavior... we all do something like this, at one time or another. Even me... I have a whole list of things that "should" be done...
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The response I got back from the Board and property management basically asked: "Why can't I wait until March when it's more convenient for THEM?" (Are they EFFING KIDDING ME?!?!?)
No, Bones - they're not kidding. It very well could be that they are afraid to learn - have it pointed out - that they "should" be doing something that they're not currently; or that they'll need to correct some obvious safety issues. That would wind up being more work or cost for them, you know? And of course, in the process they have to discount the risk that does exist.
That's pretty standard human behavior... we all do something like this, at one time or another. Even me... I have a whole list of things that "should" be done...
Thanks, P.R.
I understand that this is pretty standard human behavior. What frightens me is that we have people of all ages, from newborn to senior citizens, along with people who have a variety of health issues, physical challenges, disabilities, who are at risk. For example, one building is the only building that has an elevator. There are disabled people who moved in there BECAUSE it has an elevator. During an emergency, the elevator would be unavailable and there is NO plan in place on how to get the disabled to safety! (The earthquake should have been a wake-up call then!)
This person who is willing to come and talk about what needs to be done is doing this at no charge. The guest speaker knows what I'm up against with this situation. During one of my numerous efforts to talk up emergency preparedness, (being prepared individually as well as a community), one of the Board members commented to me: "That's nice to think about but it's too much of a bother." I feel that the continued inertia of the Board puts everyone at risk when they continue to blow off and ignore an issue that is staring them in the face! I hate to see a newborn or a person in a wheelchair killed because the Powers-that-be refuse to get off their butts and even THINK! Time and time again, the attitude I have observed has been: "Now that WE are on the Board, WE don't have to listen to anyone!" (This attitude has been demonstrated to others to the extent that other condo owners have gotten disgusted and stopped coming to the owners' meetings. And the Board continues to ignore, ignore, ignore and do their own little merry thing.) My sense, for what it's worth, is that the "group mind" is thinking, "If I ignore this, it will NEVER happen!" (When I was taking classes at a community college many decades ago, I learned that this concept is called "group think". An example of "group think" is Pearl Harbor. The Powers-that-be back then were given numerous warnings and indicators about what was coming and they refused to believe that Pearl Harbor could ever be attacked. History proved otherwise and a LOT of people died as a result.)
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Bones/PR,
This type of administration is pervasive. Our homeowners insurance was on the verge of being cancelled because the person at the other end responsible for applying it to our account put it in some other account. Add insult to injury, the bank here, the powers that be there all put the responsibility on us to prove that we had indeed sent our payment on time.
I have a friend who was on unemployment. He found work. Called, cancelled his unemployment 'prvileges' New job is part-time to full-time in any given week. He is eligible for food stamps. Reapplied for food stamps. The records showed that he was still unemployed was still (according to their records) receivng unemployment up to now. My personal take on this type thing is that the system from top to bottom has shifted to a point where shoddy work is the norm. If you use the examples you've experienced and what our household has, and the other similar stories that are plentiful, can you imagine what it will be like in a year or two when the standards are lowered and lowered and lowered and the corrupt, substandard administration of government comes to full bloom? Having set my own standard to live life with expectancy and a since of adventure doesn't allow me to call 1-800-moan. Is that irresponsible? I think I'll get a bigger bang watching the circus go from three ring to pup tent size, not even big enough to hold the two headed calf. Adventure, Oh yeah! It's an exciting time to be alive, to observe, and look up.
tt
Thanks, TT.
Right now, I feel so frustrated that I could just scream!
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A little while ago, I just basically told the president of the HOA board that I am no longer going to attempt to do things alone. If no one else is willing to listen, pitch in, and help, then I quit. If no one else wants to be part of the solution, then they are being part of the problem which I cannot solve alone. I'm not going to waste my energy talking to thin air and then feeling as if my face is being smashed into a brick wall time and again.
I gave the president a list of examples that I have been observing for the past couple of years and the consistent lack of interest. I'm tired of trying for nothing. I'm done.
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:|
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This could be a nightmare!
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/our-family-s-bad-seed.html
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Bones, I'm relieved you've come to this decision!
It's been my experience, that if one does step up and try to do all of that alone, the eventual consequence is that everyone resents that one person and he/she is the only "blame-target" available for everything each other person doesn't like or won't accept as reality. Ideally, in a perfect world, each household takes responsibility for themselves and their specific, unique needs and then cooperates with each other to add another layer of safety and "first response" in a crisis.
It's not a perfect world. Which is why the Weather Channel and other safety-oriented groups put out the same old information every single year. People discount the probability of something bad happening to them, in their neighborhood, or community and also discount how self-reliant they'll have to be. They also over-estimate and take for granted that the official emergency response folks will be there to protect them and be able to restore services in an unrealistic time-frame.
Even here, where there is a lot of annual community education and awareness and acceptance that we are vulnerable to hurricanes -- it's amazing what people's expectations are. I keep checking and reading and revising my own plans... looking for weaknesses or things I've simply overlooked... because I know once something happens, or is immanent (expected within 24 hrs) chances are that one or two things I "forgot" aren't going to be available. I've learned the hard way, that if have the resources - but don't need them - it's a whole lot easier than the reverse. This year, I have to take inventory of my first aid supply stash... deal with water purification (which I didn't anticipate during Irene and wasn't an issue - this time)... and get a lot more specific about where we would go... if we do evacuate. And this whole community has their plan & response triage, down to an art - it's very, very good - because it has be. And yet, the individual self-sufficiency is critical to that plan.
But, back to you. We talked about some of the things you need, for yourself. You need more than Plan A - if Plan A is Mr. Useless - you need Plan B and Plan C - for some pretty basic needs. Nothing wrong or selfish about putting that same energy into taking care of those needs, for yourself.
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Bones, I'm relieved you've come to this decision!
It's been my experience, that if one does step up and try to do all of that alone, the eventual consequence is that everyone resents that one person and he/she is the only "blame-target" available for everything each other person doesn't like or won't accept as reality. Ideally, in a perfect world, each household takes responsibility for themselves and their specific, unique needs and then cooperates with each other to add another layer of safety and "first response" in a crisis.
It's not a perfect world. Which is why the Weather Channel and other safety-oriented groups put out the same old information every single year. People discount the probability of something bad happening to them, in their neighborhood, or community and also discount how self-reliant they'll have to be. They also over-estimate and take for granted that the official emergency response folks will be there to protect them and be able to restore services in an unrealistic time-frame.
Even here, where there is a lot of annual community education and awareness and acceptance that we are vulnerable to hurricanes -- it's amazing what people's expectations are. I keep checking and reading and revising my own plans... looking for weaknesses or things I've simply overlooked... because I know once something happens, or is immanent (expected within 24 hrs) chances are that one or two things I "forgot" aren't going to be available. I've learned the hard way, that if have the resources - but don't need them - it's a whole lot easier than the reverse. This year, I have to take inventory of my first aid supply stash... deal with water purification (which I didn't anticipate during Irene and wasn't an issue - this time)... and get a lot more specific about where we would go... if we do evacuate. And this whole community has their plan & response triage, down to an art - it's very, very good - because it has be. And yet, the individual self-sufficiency is critical to that plan.
But, back to you. We talked about some of the things you need, for yourself. You need more than Plan A - if Plan A is Mr. Useless - you need Plan B and Plan C - for some pretty basic needs. Nothing wrong or selfish about putting that same energy into taking care of those needs, for yourself.
Thanks, P.R.
Part of my challenge is the finances. I try to get what I need little by little. However, some things are beyond my financial ability.
In addition, whenever the electricity goes out, for whatever reason, I've gotten phone calls at all hours, screaming at me, demanding to know WHEN the electricity is going to be restored! I have no control over that.
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Gosh, I would leave a msg on my telephone directing them to call the power company about restoring electricity then not answer the phone for a while so I don't have to be the one they vent their impatience on. Get a grip people.
So Bones, I can tell that you find some value out of being part of group functions. This homeowners group or whatever it is doesnt sound very fun or especially social, its something people do because its needed but nobody really wants to do it. I think that is what you are seeing.
In the past you stated that you were apart of creative art groups like that Smithsonian? was that it? display of the crochet sea stuff.
Some part of being a participant in a group is also the gestalt of the group as a whole. Oddly groups take on a personality of their own and it seems that it works best when there is a give and take or otherwise there does need to be a leader.
What other group activities are you involved in? Seems like something fun and cheerful would be a relief for you.
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Gosh, I would leave a msg on my telephone directing them to call the power company about restoring electricity then not answer the phone for a while so I don't have to be the one they vent their impatience on. Get a grip people.
So Bones, I can tell that you find some value out of being part of group functions. This homeowners group or whatever it is doesn't sound very fun or especially social, its something people do because its needed but nobody really wants to do it. I think that is what you are seeing.
In the past you stated that you were apart of creative art groups like that Smithsonian? was that it? display of the crochet sea stuff.
Some part of being a participant in a group is also the gestalt of the group as a whole. Oddly groups take on a personality of their own and it seems that it works best when there is a give and take or otherwise there does need to be a leader.
What other group activities are you involved in? Seems like something fun and cheerful would be a relief for you.
Thanks, Starlight.
Unfortunately, I don't have the option of ignoring the phone during an emergency as I could be called out as part of CERT in response to whatever is happening.
You're right, I was part of the Smithsonian group that created the Hyperbolic Crochet Coral Reef. I do enjoy being part of a creative group. I've come to realize that attempting to be part of a negative group sucks me dry! :P
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Another vote for Fun and Cheerful group for you, Bones!
Hops
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Another vote for Fun and Cheerful group for you, Bones!
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
I'm just fed up with "politicos" who do nothing but sit on their butts and ignore "the little guy". Political game-playing sickens me!
From my perspective, for what it's worth, (and this may be from my Asperger's), people should say what they mean and mean what they say!
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I think "Dear Abby" missed the mark with some of her advice, especially with the last letter!
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120129
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/alcoholic-mom-mothers-on.html
I think the Annies have their heads perpetually stuck up their butts! The advice they are attempting to "dish out" today is WORSE than USELESS!!!!
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Feeling voiceless in 3-D and having a bad moment with it.
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From my perspective, for what it's worth, (and this may be from my Asperger's), people should say what they mean and mean what they say!
No Bones - it's not the AS - I think EVERYONE wants other people to say what they mean and mean what they say.
One of the negative unintended consequences of so many more people graduating college... is that there are so many more people with BS degrees... and I don't mean Bachelor of Science!! (BS was a prerequisite for my art degrees too; ever read people's artist statements??? I naively thought being an artist meant you could make things & sell them... but no; I was wrong... being an artist meant you could BS about the meaning of what you made!!! Boy, was that disillusionment.)
As it's an election year - there is going to be an epidemic of BS in all the media and even in conversation. It's only January, and I'm already recycling the paper without reading it; changing the channel on the TV and changing the subject in conversation. I think I'm just going to be a turtle on the topic of politics and hide until it's over... because no one really cares what I think and once I start down that conversation I'm not going to want to get off my soapbox. It's like us "real people" don't have any voice politically anymore.
But I had this idea: what if major decisions could be voted on - online - by us real people? Instead of the people we elect not representing us, and voting their own conscience (and opinion and ideology) instead? I know we're not going to agree on everything - but us real people get along anyway and don't "shut down" real life because of our differences. So why CAN'T Google or someone else set up the website and immediately calculate the pro/con votes - an "instant public barometer" where we could only vote once... but would be able to know how many other people voted, too. And then send that total vote report into Congress with this disclaimer: this is what America WANTS you to do... you work for us and we can fire you.
It wouldn't be that expensive to maintain - maybe Google could do this as a public service?? How 'bout Apple? They've got lots of cash -- and their manufacturing is overseas... put some of it to work here, for the common good.
Ah.... fantasy life. It's so much preferable to "real life" some days. Can you tell I'm getting ready to start on my taxes? YUCK.
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hey - ps -
you wanna talk about it? I'll stay on... I really don't want to work with that stack o' paper today.
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From my perspective, for what it's worth, (and this may be from my Asperger's), people should say what they mean and mean what they say!
No Bones - it's not the AS - I think EVERYONE wants other people to say what they mean and mean what they say.
One of the negative unintended consequences of so many more people graduating college... is that there are so many more people with BS degrees... and I don't mean Bachelor of Science!! (BS was a prerequisite for my art degrees too; ever read people's artist statements??? I naively thought being an artist meant you could make things & sell them... but no; I was wrong... being an artist meant you could BS about the meaning of what you made!!! Boy, was that disillusionment.)
As it's an election year - there is going to be an epidemic of BS in all the media and even in conversation. It's only January, and I'm already recycling the paper without reading it; changing the channel on the TV and changing the subject in conversation. I think I'm just going to be a turtle on the topic of politics and hide until it's over... because no one really cares what I think and once I start down that conversation I'm not going to want to get off my soapbox. It's like us "real people" don't have any voice politically anymore.
But I had this idea: what if major decisions could be voted on - online - by us real people? Instead of the people we elect not representing us, and voting their own conscience (and opinion and ideology) instead? I know we're not going to agree on everything - but us real people get along anyway and don't "shut down" real life because of our differences. So why CAN'T Google or someone else set up the website and immediately calculate the pro/con votes - an "instant public barometer" where we could only vote once... but would be able to know how many other people voted, too. And then send that total vote report into Congress with this disclaimer: this is what America WANTS you to do... you work for us and we can fire you.
It wouldn't be that expensive to maintain - maybe Google could do this as a public service?? How 'bout Apple? They've got lots of cash -- and their manufacturing is overseas... put some of it to work here, for the common good.
Ah.... fantasy life. It's so much preferable to "real life" some days. Can you tell I'm getting ready to start on my taxes? YUCK.
I've been "turtling" too....keeping the TV on the Qubo channel to avoid the political BS that I know is coming. I like your ideas. (I've been working on my taxes in stages in an attempt to organize the various categories such as medical: doctors; medical: lab, etc. YUCK is right!)
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hey - ps -
you wanna talk about it? I'll stay on... I really don't want to work with that stack o' paper today.
Thanks, P.R.
I really need to talk with someone and, at the same time, I feel blocked in 3-D. I can't call the Hotline numbers because they would all ring at where I used to work and I don't feel comfortable talking to my former co-workers about various conflicts that I struggle with...some of those conflicts included them due to differences of opinions and feeling like I didn't have any right to feel what I felt. That is WAY too awkward!
While working on the medical deductions of my taxes...being reminded that when the next medical crisis hits, I have no one I can really depend on. I learned that the hard way the last time I landed in the Emergency Room. What REALLY hurt was that these same people made it a point of telling me, to my face, to CALL THEM the next time I have an emergency. So, there I am, lying on a gurney in the E.R., the E.R. staff dial first one number only to get a voice-mail message that the voice-mailbox is full...CLICK! The E.R. staff call the next number, which was the person's work....only to get another voice-mail message to leave a message. The staff leaves a message and.....no return call the entire time I'm in the E.R. I pull out my cell-phone and attempt to call one of my neighbors...no luck, no answer. Then I attempt to call a THIRD person, get her on the phone and explain what's going on in the E.R. only to be informed...."too bad, I'm busy!" So much for them telling me to contact them in an emergency! Wasted my time and cell-phone minutes.
The latest conflict with the HOA Board was another reminder of how many people just don't care. None of them are friends....only mere acquaintances. It's hitting me that the people who I THOUGHT were my 3-D friends are only "fair weather friends", they stick around only when times are good and disappear when times go bad.
Because I live alone, I could easily die alone and no one would really notice until the stench hit them in the face. Then it would be simply a question of: "Okay, who wants to deal with taking out the garbage?"
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oh Bones... I hear ya! and I also hear the "what does someone like me do", too.
Let me think on this a little bit. MIL tried - longer than she should have - to maintain on her own alone. It was how she was used to living, she liked being on her own -- and it took a few scary moments and a few events to finally persuade her that she maybe needed to change her idea of "being on her own"... what that consisted of. We tried lots of different things to let her live alone - but not without a means of summoning help quickly. I'm gonna guess that some kind of assisted living community is out of your price range; not do-able.
A couple quick things... the local hospital provided a kind of "lifeline" phone/necklace service. I think there was a sliding fee monthly, for the service. This didn't help with the kind of mini-strokes MIL had (we didn't know what was going on until after the second, fatal stroke). She passed out so quickly she couldn't summon help until she came to a bit afterwards. So those things have limitations. But they are considerably better than nothing. There are a lot of these now - even like a Nurse Hotline who'll be able to tell you what to try at home or when to go to the ER.
The other thing I'm thinking about, is some kind of home visit service. There are a vast (and growing) number of kinds of these now. I have no idea how expensive or affordable they are... or how often you'd want someone to come by and check on you. Let me think on this and do some research.... because it's not like you're gonna need a nurse to come by everyday (and wouldn't want that, in any case)... or that you can't function just fine on your own (which is obvious, since you're so active and doing so many things)... and there's just the basic dignity issue to deal with too. I think I understand the basic desire to maintain as much self-reliance and self-sufficiency as one can - as long as one can.
And if we can't find just what it is you need out there... well, maybe we'll just have to invent that kind of service! :mrgreen:
Hubs has started on some of the taxes, so I have to participate. Be back in a while... might have to ask some more questions.
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oh Bones... I hear ya! and I also hear the "what does someone like me do", too.
Let me think on this a little bit. MIL tried - longer than she should have - to maintain on her own alone. It was how she was used to living, she liked being on her own -- and it took a few scary moments and a few events to finally persuade her that she maybe needed to change her idea of "being on her own"... what that consisted of. We tried lots of different things to let her live alone - but not without a means of summoning help quickly. I'm gonna guess that some kind of assisted living community is out of your price range; not do-able.
A couple quick things... the local hospital provided a kind of "lifeline" phone/necklace service. I think there was a sliding fee monthly, for the service. This didn't help with the kind of mini-strokes MIL had (we didn't know what was going on until after the second, fatal stroke). She passed out so quickly she couldn't summon help until she came to a bit afterwards. So those things have limitations. But they are considerably better than nothing. There are a lot of these now - even like a Nurse Hotline who'll be able to tell you what to try at home or when to go to the ER.
The other thing I'm thinking about, is some kind of home visit service. There are a vast (and growing) number of kinds of these now. I have no idea how expensive or affordable they are... or how often you'd want someone to come by and check on you. Let me think on this and do some research.... because it's not like you're gonna need a nurse to come by everyday (and wouldn't want that, in any case)... or that you can't function just fine on your own (which is obvious, since you're so active and doing so many things)... and there's just the basic dignity issue to deal with too. I think I understand the basic desire to maintain as much self-reliance and self-sufficiency as one can - as long as one can.
And if we can't find just what it is you need out there... well, maybe we'll just have to invent that kind of service! :mrgreen:
Hubs has started on some of the taxes, so I have to participate. Be back in a while... might have to ask some more questions.
Thanks, P.R.
One of the other things I realized the other night, when the fire department was summoned, they had NO way of getting into the condo buildings because they have no Emergency Bypass Code to punch into the keypads! If there were no one at the door to let them in, critical time would have been lost.
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:|
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Hi...
well, dang it... I found some ideas that might help you, but it wasn't what I wanted to find. And you probably already know about these.... but operating on the premise that Mr. Duffus isn't as reliable as you need to feel secure... here's what I found for specific issues:
non-emergency transportation/med appts & social events (like taxis, they can't list a flat fee):
www.access-ride.com
medical alert systems:
www.medicalguardian.com / $29.95 mo
www.seniorsafety.com /$23.95 mo
These are 365-24/7 monitored services and have either a bracelet or necklace button to "call" them. I couldn't get any assurance that they covered things like calling the police in the event of a break-in... but surely your complex has an alarm system, right? I would also check with your local hospital and your docs... about what else might be available, lower cost or free. I know MIL had a system like this; there was a fee which she thought was too much, so one of the sibs paid it. But it wasn't unaffordable for her... just the idea of paying for an electronic call service was unacceptable. Until she needed it.
Then, I ran across this...
www.familymattersdc.org
This is closer to the "all-purpose" kind of service organization I was thinking about... but... I have my doubts about this one. And I'm afraid, given your activity and interest that you're already familiar with them. But, they do have opportunities to volunteer... and that might help you connect with some "new" people. Sometimes just a change of scenery - and people - can give one a boost of energy.
There ought to be a way to post what you need & when... and match you up with someone willing to trade that favor... for one they need... or even with others in a group.
Just my opinion, but it seemed as if the medical emergency was your biggest worry. If you could manage to settle that one thing, it might just open up enough "space" for you to figure out the other ones.
If you could design the perfect support system for yourself, what would it be like, Bones?
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Hi...
well, dang it... I found some ideas that might help you, but it wasn't what I wanted to find. And you probably already know about these.... but operating on the premise that Mr. Duffus isn't as reliable as you need to feel secure... here's what I found for specific issues:
non-emergency transportation/med appts & social events (like taxis, they can't list a flat fee):
www.access-ride.com
medical alert systems:
www.medicalguardian.com / $29.95 mo
www.seniorsafety.com /$23.95 mo
These are 365-24/7 monitored services and have either a bracelet or necklace button to "call" them. I couldn't get any assurance that they covered things like calling the police in the event of a break-in... but surely your complex has an alarm system, right? I would also check with your local hospital and your docs... about what else might be available, lower cost or free. I know MIL had a system like this; there was a fee which she thought was too much, so one of the sibs paid it. But it wasn't unaffordable for her... just the idea of paying for an electronic call service was unacceptable. Until she needed it.
Then, I ran across this...
www.familymattersdc.org
This is closer to the "all-purpose" kind of service organization I was thinking about... but... I have my doubts about this one. And I'm afraid, given your activity and interest that you're already familiar with them. But, they do have opportunities to volunteer... and that might help you connect with some "new" people. Sometimes just a change of scenery - and people - can give one a boost of energy.
There ought to be a way to post what you need & when... and match you up with someone willing to trade that favor... for one they need... or even with others in a group.
Just my opinion, but it seemed as if the medical emergency was your biggest worry. If you could manage to settle that one thing, it might just open up enough "space" for you to figure out the other ones.
If you could design the perfect support system for yourself, what would it be like, Bones?
Thanks, P.R.
I have to do a lot of thinking as I'm aware of similar services in the city where I live. The question is being physically able to call out for help when another emergency occurs plus the ability of the EMTs being able to access my building during the emergency. When the fire department was here last week, I observed them punching codes into the keypads without success. They had NO WAY to get into the building during an emergency! They had to wait for a resident to come to the door and let them in! If no one is aware that a medical emergency is occurring inside one of the units, the EMT's can't get in! It's a mess!
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I'm having mixed feelings about a new step I've taken and, at the same time, I don't know what else I could have done differently given my deep concerns for everyone's safety.
I contacted another neighbor, who lives on the third floor in a different building to discuss safety concerns. We are both on the same committee dealing with a different issue. During our conversation, I posed a hypothetical question to her: "Given that she lives on the third floor of her building and she has mobility challenges, how would she get herself to safety should an emergency occur and the elevator is unavailable?" She responded: "Excellent question but have absolutely NO idea!" She is very aware of the issues that have been going on and had asked the Board, herself, about the problem of EMT's getting in should there be a medical emergency. The reason I have mixed feelings is (a) I think she's an N, (b) even if she is an N, no one deserves to be endangered because the Board doesn't want to deal with Emergency Preparedness, (c) I'm tired of being the lone voice howling in the wilderness and need some sort of alliance somewhere, (d) I'm hoping I'm not opening a can of worms because I involved her. If she's willing to grab the ball and run with it, that takes the burden off of me.
I'm probably be thinking of more reasons why I am uneasy about this alliance.
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The first letter is clearly about a Narcissist!
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/help-for-mentally-ill-mary.html
And, as usual, the Annies are as CLUELESS AS EVER!!!! :P
Quite a few comments "below the line" GET IT because they've dealt with N's! One refers to her own sister as "Narcissa"!
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I think Mr. Useless Doufous finally got pissed off because I kept telling him that he needs to take responsibility for his own messes and that I am NOT his mother, housekeeper, nor maid. This argument has been going back and forth since March 2001! That's right, nearly ELEVEN YEARS, when he first brought in his FILTHY birdcages that were infested with cockroaches! I've been fighting his cockroaches ever since even though I have asthma.
For awhile, he would bring me his version of insecticide that was supposed to be safe around the birds. Common sense should have told him that when it is sprayed on cockroaches, eventually the bottle will need to be replaced with a FULL one. He would always wait until I was completely out, ignoring requests and reminders, and give me the excuse that he would "get round to it later".
This past week, after reminding AGAIN that I'm completely OUT of his version of insecticide and that the roaches are WORSE, once again I got the usual "I'll get round to it later" routine. I told him that since he won't do what he is responsible to do, then I will do what I HAVE TO DO to fight the cockroaches! He ignored me so I got a can of HotShot and started spraying in the hallways and in my home office. (I told him that I was going to do this if he didn't do anything.)
This morning, when I got up, I discovered that he had showed up, overnight, took his last bird cage and left garbage and cockroach mess behind. DAMN CREEP!!!!
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Well Bones...
I like birds - outside. The one time someone brought his bird to my house, I threatened to pop the little winged sabateur in the toaster oven... because that Mr. liked to let the bird fly around the apt ... and the bird's favorite perch (and poop spot) was the canvas I was working on, on the easel.
Think you'll see/hear from Mr. Useless? Will you miss him?
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Well Bones...
I like birds - outside. The one time someone brought his bird to my house, I threatened to pop the little winged sabateur in the toaster oven... because that Mr. liked to let the bird fly around the apt ... and the bird's favorite perch (and poop spot) was the canvas I was working on, on the easel.
Think you'll see/hear from Mr. Useless? Will you miss him?
I guess what hurts the most is finally realizing that the person, who I thought was a friend, or even more than a friend, was simply seeing me as an "It", a "Convenience", a "Storage Space", and that he never saw me as a human being with feelings. Once I was no longer "convenient", he's gone.
I hear you about the bird flying loose and pooping on your stuff. Mr. Useless did that with his birds too and laughed while the birds pooped on my belongings. When I started yelling and throwing things, then his reaction would be: "Oh. Does this need attention?"
Knowing that I have a lot of acquaintances but NO 3-D friends who see me as a worthwhile human being hurts.
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I'm really sorry (((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))).
xxxooo
Hops
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I'm really sorry (((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))).
xxxooo
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to be able to do financially and medically.
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The Annies in today's column are as clueless as ever!
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/curbing-self-indulgent-mom.html
I'm also trying to take each day one at a time.
Regarding Mr. Useless, I knew this day would eventually come and it's not what he did at the end that bothered me, it was the WAY he did it that was so hurtful. I look back over the time we had and I'm now recognizing RED FLAGS all over the place that should have warned me long before now. I FEEL SO STUPID!
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awww Bones, you're not stupid.
Sometimes our silly brains trick us into ignoring or excusing all those red flags... because we want; we need to have some connections with other people. Happens to me, too. How's your Plan B and C coming along?
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awww Bones, you're not stupid.
Sometimes our silly brains trick us into ignoring or excusing all those red flags... because we want; we need to have some connections with other people. Happens to me, too. How's your Plan B and C coming along?
Thanks, P.R.
I'm still trying to figure out what Plan B and Plan C is. I'm still putting one foot in front of the other and trying to stick to a regular routine until I'm able to think of something. One of my regular morning routines is reading advice columns. This one sounds painfully familiar:
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120204
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I couldn't respond to Starlight on her thread and I wanted to respond to her quote:
"Social workers only work for those who will eventually and forever will be on disability or welfare or whatever. They don't have the ability to help me. They help people to be helpless.
Moving on.
I don't expect you to "get it". I just need to complain about it though. "
Starlight, I hear you and I GET IT! I've dealt with social workers who are absolutely CLUELESS about disabilities and everything else that can knock our feet out from under us! I'm convinced that they all live in La-La Land!
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:)
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:)
:)
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/path-to-common-ground-not-paved-with-abuse-and-anger.html
I've known people as described in Letter #1 and, as usual, the CLUELESS Annie's BLEW IT!
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I feel sorry for the first letter writer:
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/wave-a-drama-free-goodbye-to-mama-and-her-boy.html
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http://news.yahoo.com/fire-kills-husband-missing-utah-woman-2-boys-041211345.html
I firmly believe there is a special place in HELL for Narcissistic Monsters like him! He knew the kids were getting old enough to tell on him so he had to get rid of the witnesses! What a BASTARD!
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Dealing with some sort of intestinal virus this morning. NOT fun! :P
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Hi Bones! Do you feel better today?
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Hi Bones! Do you feel better today?
Thanks, P.R.
Not much. I've been staying in bed alot. I hate it when a viral infection hits me like this. :P
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Well, stay hydrated - water, tea... lemon & honey... and try to eat a little something, even just a couple saltines.
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Well, stay hydrated - water, tea... lemon & honey... and try to eat a little something, even just a couple saltines.
Thanks, P.R.
I've been attempting to do that. Problem, unfortunately, is that it would run straight through me in a matter of a few minutes and I was back at square one. ICK!
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Yeah, it's the body's way of trying evict the bug... and if you can eat something, there's a chance it'll help boost your strength to fight off the nasty bug... even if it's only a little bit at one time. Hydration is essential, tho. I'd never realized how many things in our body depend on our fluid levels - especially when we're ill and trying to get better - or things (even some meds) that can be thrown out of wack by not drinking enough.
If you're not feeling better by tonight, you might want to think about how you could get to the nearest clinic to find out if it's just the latest day-care bug... or something else. Usually these things only run 24 hrs then start to improve. I hear ya, that this might be a challenge even when you're feeling fine... just sayin'.
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Yeah, it's the body's way of trying evict the bug... and if you can eat something, there's a chance it'll help boost your strength to fight off the nasty bug... even if it's only a little bit at one time. Hydration is essential, tho. I'd never realized how many things in our body depend on our fluid levels - especially when we're ill and trying to get better - or things (even some meds) that can be thrown out of wack by not drinking enough.
If you're not feeling better by tonight, you might want to think about how you could get to the nearest clinic to find out if it's just the latest day-care bug... or something else. Usually these things only run 24 hrs then start to improve. I hear ya, that this might be a challenge even when you're feeling fine... just sayin'.
Thanks, P.R.
I've been drinking sips of water as much as possible. I don't have any soup in the house and haven't been able to get out to get anything. Catch-22.
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Wishing you well and FASTER, (((((Bones))))))
hugs
Hops
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Wishing you well and FASTER, (((((Bones))))))
hugs
Hops
Thanks, (((((Hops)))))))
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OK - health report time! ;) LOL
Are you feeling somewhat better this morning, Bones?
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OK - health report time! ;) LOL
Are you feeling somewhat better this morning, Bones?
Thanks, P.R.
I've been able to eat a little toast.
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YAY! In a couple hours, try a little sumpin else. I think you're on the mend and that's good news.
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YAY! In a couple hours, try a little sumpin else. I think you're on the mend and that's good news.
Thanks, P.R.
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Still trying to figure out what to do given that I'm not 100% yet and have been unable to get out to get food or gas for the car.
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My suggestion is to ask one of your neighbors to borrow some soup & crackers, explaining you've been knocked flat by this bug... or to pick up a few things for you, while they're out shopping. It's really OK to ask; they can always say no... but MAYBE they won't.
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My suggestion is to ask one of your neighbors to borrow some soup & crackers, explaining you've been knocked flat by this bug... or to pick up a few things for you, while they're out shopping. It's really OK to ask; they can always say no... but MAYBE they won't.
The one neighbor I usually see is down sick herself. Apparently, this virus is making the rounds.
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BTW, I managed to get out, put gas in the car and picked up some chicken noodle soup.
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That's good, Bones! You'll back to normal in a couple more days, sounds like.
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That's good, Bones! You'll back to normal in a couple more days, sounds like.
I hope so!
I want to be able to go to the Star Trek Convention!
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Good food, plenty of liquid and plenty of rest... so you have the strength to
"go where no man has gone before"! LOL... too bad they still can't just beam you into the convention.
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Good food, plenty of liquid and plenty of rest... so you have the strength to
"go where no man has gone before"! LOL... too bad they still can't just beam you into the convention.
Thanks! As far as beaming to the Convention....oh I wish! LOL!
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What do you think of the first letter in Dear Margo?
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/what-s-up-with-that.html
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Now THIS is getting RIDICULOUS!!!!
http://gma.yahoo.com/blogs/abc-blogs/sydney-spies-third-yearbook-photo-rejected-seeks-redress-190100571--abc-news.html
I can see this photo being used in a portfolio if she is looking for a modeling or an acting job. She has already been informed SEVERAL times, by school authorities, that it is NOT appropriate in a HIGH SCHOOL SETTING! What part of the word "NO" does she and her parents NOT understand?!?!?!?
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OY, Bones... I think it goes back to the fact, that kids (and even their parents) have been conditioned to believe that it's acceptable to dress kids in revealing, sexy ways because that's what is being marketed to them. The target age-group for those looks has gotten younger over time... and when your choice is between something that's only mildly racy and something that would've only been seen in Playboy once upon a time... your own values shift. Personally, that particular photo wouldn't have raised a red flag, for me. I have a daughter covered in tattoos, remember? And they're not all "pretty" flowers & such either.
Then throw in the belief that us counter-culture, feminist-types pushed into the mainstream: that how we look is NOT equal to who we are... and well, this is one of the results. Sure, it's not what was meant -- at that time in our society. We tried to teach our girls to not be ashamed of their bodies - so this is one way they're expressing themselves. In reality, this isn't without it's dangers and the girls also need to learn to be aware that not everyone is going to perceive this so innocently. But that would require active parenting - which is harder to do in a culture with so many alternative value systems. I do think the schools sometimes bring these kinds of conflicts on themselves, too - because of inflexibility, one size fits all and zero tolerance rules that are completely irrational, at times. They over-react too often.
I could argue that society's developed a lot more "hang-ups" over sex in the last 40 years precisely because of the ideas that were mainstreamed... and how those ideas have been filtered into popular media, marketing, and the total landscape-background of society. Reality TV is only the latest, most extreme example. I wouldn't want to be a 12 yr old in this kind of confusing mess!
I read a Dear Annie letter the other day from a 15 yr old, who wanted to break up her perfectly fine relationship with her boyfriend, because she wanted more "drama" in her life. She equated drama with challenge, adventure and excitement... with being engaged in life at the grown-up level. I think it's an honest reflection of just what kid-logic concludes when they assess what they're shown of "grown-up" life, you know? It's a sad comment, in my point of view, that she actually ASPIRED to this, as if it were an accomplishment to be proud of...
... it's things like this that have me reading like a madman lately and a lot more social science...
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OY, Bones... I think it goes back to the fact, that kids (and even their parents) have been conditioned to believe that it's acceptable to dress kids in revealing, sexy ways because that's what is being marketed to them. The target age-group for those looks has gotten younger over time... and when your choice is between something that's only mildly racy and something that would've only been seen in Playboy once upon a time... your own values shift. Personally, that particular photo wouldn't have raised a red flag, for me. I have a daughter covered in tattoos, remember? And they're not all "pretty" flowers & such either.
Then throw in the belief that us counter-culture, feminist-types pushed into the mainstream: that how we look is NOT equal to who we are... and well, this is one of the results. Sure, it's not what was meant -- at that time in our society. We tried to teach our girls to not be ashamed of their bodies - so this is one way they're expressing themselves. In reality, this isn't without it's dangers and the girls also need to learn to be aware that not everyone is going to perceive this so innocently. But that would require active parenting - which is harder to do in a culture with so many alternative value systems. I do think the schools sometimes bring these kinds of conflicts on themselves, too - because of inflexibility, one size fits all and zero tolerance rules that are completely irrational, at times. They over-react too often.
I could argue that society's developed a lot more "hang-ups" over sex in the last 40 years precisely because of the ideas that were mainstreamed... and how those ideas have been filtered into popular media, marketing, and the total landscape-background of society. Reality TV is only the latest, most extreme example. I wouldn't want to be a 12 yr old in this kind of confusing mess!
I read a Dear Annie letter the other day from a 15 yr old, who wanted to break up her perfectly fine relationship with her boyfriend, because she wanted more "drama" in her life. She equated drama with challenge, adventure and excitement... with being engaged in life at the grown-up level. I think it's an honest reflection of just what kid-logic concludes when they assess what they're shown of "grown-up" life, you know? It's a sad comment, in my point of view, that she actually ASPIRED to this, as if it were an accomplishment to be proud of...
... it's things like this that have me reading like a madman lately and a lot more social science...
Hi, P.R.
I guess I'm old school. There are ways to look sexy without looking like a trashy hoochy-mama! If I had a daughter, I wouldn't want to have pictures like THAT floating around the Internet knowing there are creeps who will get the wrong idea and try something! (At the risk of becoming eunuchs once I got through with them!)
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here.....
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So many thoughts going through my head as I watch the news about the late Whitney Houston and the reactions of her family. What I don't get are the snarky comments from various jack-a$$e$ who don't get it that these comments will have a way of getting back to her family....and that her family does NOT need that kind of crap!
In one sense, I won't be surprised that the toxicology results will indicate alcohol and/or benzodiazepines in her system. When I was actively practicing my own addiction, I did the same thing and, by God's Grace, lived to tell about it. I've watched others, who were actively practicing, do the same thing. Some lived, some died, some almost killed others while they were self-destructing themselves.
I feel for that 19-year-old parentified child who had been taking care of her mother ever since she was old enough to toddle. I get the strong sense that Bobbi Kristina is blaming herself for not being there to save her mother, even though it was not that child's fault. I want to wrap that child in a huge bear hug and tell her it's going to be okay. She doesn't have to be strong for anyone and to allow others to love and take care of her for a change.
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Before I went to bed last night, and glanced at the Internet news one more time, I read that Bobbi Kristina was rushed to the hospital a second time. I'm worried about that child.
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I did something last night that I was not comfortable with but had to do.....I chaired a committee meeting. I also found myself struggling with voicelessness. Several times, while I was attempting to make a point about an issue, others would cut me off in mid-sentence and started telling me what I SHOULD think, SHOULD do, SHOULD feel, etc. until I finally lost my temper, slammed the table with my hand and shouted: "NO ONE IS LISTENING TO ME!" That finally made them stop cutting me off. I HATE having to go that far.
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Oh yes... I'm with you there, Bones! And further, what really gets me irritated... is when I am criticized for having to be that extreme, to get people to hear me. That's really the pits! And unfortunately, hubs feels it's his responsibility to do this "for me". Grrrrrrrrr.....
Sometimes one just has to do this, Bones. It's not "good" or "bad"...
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Oh yes... I'm with you there, Bones! And further, what really gets me irritated... is when I am criticized for having to be that extreme, to get people to hear me. That's really the pits! And unfortunately, hubs feels it's his responsibility to do this "for me". Grrrrrrrrr.....
Sometimes one just has to do this, Bones. It's not "good" or "bad"...
Thanks, P.R.
I just find it very annoying when we finally find our voices and others attempt to cut it off! Yrrrrrrcccchhhhh!!!!!
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here.....................
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Going to be offline for the weekend....dealing with 3-D real life.
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What are up to, Bones?
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What are up to, Bones?
Some friends are taking me to a Star Trek Convention, over the weekend, for my birthday.
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Ah... explore new worlds, sweetie! :D
I hope you have a great time.
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Ah... explore new worlds, sweetie! :D
I hope you have a great time.
Definitely had a great time during the weekend! Hanging out with others like me is FUN!!!!! Especially when we can talk about Star Trek non-stop!!!!!
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Plus I gave in to a few impulse spending sprees and brought home a battery-powered phaser, communicator, three Star Trek novels and a Star Trek Blooper DVD! More fun for home! :D
Also dealt with one Narcissist while I was participating in a Star Trek panel about Deep Space Nine. The panel I was on consisted of four people....two guys and two gals....and we were discussing how the character of Benjamin Sisko evolved from the moment we first saw him in the episode: "Emissary" until the final episode: "What You Leave Behind", when the "president" of our club stands up, interrupts us to LOUDLY announce: "Well, I AM going to an IMPORTANT meeting now!" I simply shouted back, "Then GO! We're doing just fine on our own! GO! BYE!" He had this funny look on his face and then he left. We simply continued our discussion on Benjamin Sisko without any further ado.
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Sound like you really needed this, Bones and enjoyed yourself.
Ya know, I think I could stand to make the effort to do this kind of thing more often too. Break out of my self-imposed shackles of the dreaded "to-do" list... more often.
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Sound like you really needed this, Bones and enjoyed yourself.
Ya know, I think I could stand to make the effort to do this kind of thing more often too. Break out of my self-imposed shackles of the dreaded "to-do" list... more often.
Thanks, P.R.
The Star Trek panel on Friday night was hysterically FUNNY!!!! The topic was on sexuality in Star Trek and the people leading the panel consisted of two guys and three gals sitting on a sofa. One guy walked in wearing a Star Trek bathrobe carrying a glass of wine, signifying the suave sophisticate and the other guy came in wearing a trenchcoat, carrying a can of beer in a paper bag, signifying the pervert! I was one of the three gals and I couldn't stop laughing!!!! :lol:
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Now it feels strange getting back to mundane life.
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Checking in.............
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Hey Bones! I'm checking in back at ya.
Been really busy in 3-D working around the house, getting involved in some community stuff... taking advantage of the subtle change in the weather before it goes back to chilly, wet and yucky.
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Hey Bones! I'm checking in back at ya.
Been really busy in 3-D working around the house, getting involved in some community stuff... taking advantage of the subtle change in the weather before it goes back to chilly, wet and yucky.
Hi, P.R.
I hear ya!
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Been trying to arrange transportation to the dentist, since my birthday weekend, because one of my crowns popped out while I was eating birthday cake. Bummer!!! :P
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Oh Bonsey,
I am sorry that happened on your B-day.
That aside, I do wish you a happy birthday.
You know, everytime I see this thread pop up with the title: " Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?"
I read that and have this little voice inside my head that screams "YES" everytime I see that title!
((((Love you Bonsey, sending wishes/prayers that your crowns will be restored with minimum pain and hassle!)))
FP
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Oh Bonsey,
I am sorry that happened on your B-day.
That aside, I do wish you a happy birthday.
You know, everytime I see this thread pop up with the title: " Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?"
I read that and have this little voice inside my head that screams "YES" everytime I see that title!
((((Love you Bonsey, sending wishes/prayers that your crowns will be restored with minimum pain and hassle!)))
FP
Thanks, FP! I really appreciate your wishes and prayers.
In connection with the thread's title, when I read the first letter in today's Dear Abby, I couldn't help but think....this dude sounds like a Narcissist!!!!
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120224
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Checking in...............................................
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Sound like you really needed this, Bones and enjoyed yourself.
Ya know, I think I could stand to make the effort to do this kind of thing more often too. Break out of my self-imposed shackles of the dreaded "to-do" list... more often.
Thanks, P.R.
The Star Trek panel on Friday night was hysterically FUNNY!!!! The topic was on sexuality in Star Trek and the people leading the panel consisted of two guys and three gals sitting on a sofa. One guy walked in wearing a Star Trek bathrobe carrying a glass of wine, signifying the suave sophisticate and the other guy came in wearing a trenchcoat, carrying a can of beer in a paper bag, signifying the pervert! I was one of the three gals and I couldn't stop laughing!!!! :lol:
Another thing that had me cracking up laughing, during the Star Trek Convention, happened by accident on Sunday morning.
There was an empty room because a scheduled panel didn't happen, so another club member and I sat in there to rest, in between panels that we were leading, just relaxing, resting, and shooting the breeze about our favorite topic: Star Trek Deep Space Nine. As we chatted, other people who were complete strangers, wandered into the room and started listening to us. Then they started raising their hands and asking us questions as if we were running an official panel discussion!!!! :shock: :lol: The whole situation just struck me funny!!! :lol:
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Bones that is hilarious! I can just picture that in my mind, much more funny then the newer Sat Night live skits.
Thanks, first time I laughed all day.
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Bones that is hilarious! I can just picture that in my mind, much more funny then the newer Sat Night live skits.
Thanks, first time I laughed all day.
Thanks, Starlight!
What added to the hilarity was that the convention official came to the door to announce that we had five more minutes before wrapping up our panel discussion! :lol:
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Hmmm. Let me apply my Spock-like analytical ability to this...
Isn't it just possible, that you and your friend ARE experts... authorities... ?
And so, passers-by who are aware of the context of "scheduled panels" going on in that area... are really hearing authorities intelligently discussing certain subjects... so they assume the part of panel attendees? Including the conference "official"?
So, that in at least one form of reality - you and your friend actually WERE a panel. What an amazing opportunity! It's as if you really were beamed up to somewhere else! That must've been what is known as "fun"...
Interesting. I'll have to study this "fun" some more... see if I am able to understand it...
LOL.
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Hmmm. Let me apply my Spock-like analytical ability to this...
Isn't it just possible, that you and your friend ARE experts... authorities... ?
And so, passers-by who are aware of the context of "scheduled panels" going on in that area... are really hearing authorities intelligently discussing certain subjects... so they assume the part of panel attendees? Including the conference "official"?
So, that in at least one form of reality - you and your friend actually WERE a panel. What an amazing opportunity! It's as if you really were beamed up to somewhere else! That must've been what is known as "fun"...
Interesting. I'll have to study this "fun" some more... see if I am able to understand it...
LOL.
LOL!!!
We were actually official members of other panels. We just happened to be resting and shooting the breeze when this "unofficial" panel evolved! LOL!!!
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Had one HELL of a morning starting at 2:00 AM when my parked car decided to go CRAZY with the horn BLARING by itself!!!! Woke up the neighbors and I'm outside trying desperately to SHUT IT UP!!!! Finally two police officers arrived who helped me to dismantle the horn assembly so we could FINALLY get some SLEEP!!!! :P Unfortunately, I've been so wound up since this stuff started that I haven't been able to get back to sleep. ICK!!!!!!
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The letter writer who signs herself as the Sous Chef sounds like she has a Narcissist for a husband!!!!
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120227
What IDIOT in his right mind invites people to have dinner at his home then attempts to FORCE them to eat what they DON'T LIKE or may be ALLERGIC to?!?!?!? I don't get it!!! :?
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Had one HELL of a morning starting at 2:00 AM when my parked car decided to go CRAZY with the horn BLARING by itself!!!! Woke up the neighbors and I'm outside trying desperately to SHUT IT UP!!!! Finally two police officers arrived who helped me to dismantle the horn assembly so we could FINALLY get some SLEEP!!!! :P Unfortunately, I've been so wound up since this stuff started that I haven't been able to get back to sleep. ICK!!!!!!
Wow that is odd. Is it a car alarm that short circuited?
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Had one HELL of a morning starting at 2:00 AM when my parked car decided to go CRAZY with the horn BLARING by itself!!!! Woke up the neighbors and I'm outside trying desperately to SHUT IT UP!!!! Finally two police officers arrived who helped me to dismantle the horn assembly so we could FINALLY get some SLEEP!!!! :P Unfortunately, I've been so wound up since this stuff started that I haven't been able to get back to sleep. ICK!!!!!!
Wow that is odd. Is it a car alarm that short circuited?
The police thought the same thing until I explained that it had never had a car alarm because it's so old.
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Even stranger. Sounds like something from a Ghostbusters movie.
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Even stranger. Sounds like something from a Ghostbusters movie.
Yeah, I think the car is haunted!
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:lol: Bones I have experienced the exact same thing (though not with crocheting). What is it, that they want your attention on them and not on what you're doing? Envy probably too. People-junk! I like your response. :D
Thanks, Guest.
What also gets me very irritated is that no matter what I am working on, there always seem to be at least one moron who approaches me with the demand of: "I WANT!!! GIMME!!!!" I'm at the point in my life where I prefer to look them in the eye and respond: "F____ OFF!"
Bones
There's been a recent update on this.
There's a group that meets, in the next town over, that works together on either crocheting or knitting projects. One of the guys was sharing that as he was finishing up an afghan that he had been crocheting for MONTHS, a total stranger approached him about it. The stranger wanted this guy to just hand it over! :shock: The crochet-guy looked this idiot right in the face and told him, you pay me $900.00 then you can have it! Idiot then tried to GUILT him into forgetting about payment and simply hand the afghan over because HE wants it, HE'S ENTITLED and WHY should HE PAY $900 when he could get it CHEAP?!? (Some a$$hole$ have a LOTTA NERVE! :x) The crochet-guy pointed out: (a) the type of yarn he was using which is NOT a CHEAP BLEND, (b) the number of skeins of this EXPENSIVE yarn that was required to make this afghan, (c) the amount of TIME that was required to create this afghan, plus (d) the amount of LABOR that goes into creating an afghan by hand from scratch! (I told the crochet-guy that he's not alone when he encounters idiots like that!)
It never ceases to amaze me when these greedy idiots pop up while us needle-workers are creating something! Sheesh!!!!! :P
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They're just jealous, Bones. They couldn't make a playhouse out of a box. No imagination... and no gumption to even try to make something.
Take yes, make no.
Your friend needs to start knitting; the needles are sharper.
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They're just jealous, Bones. They couldn't make a playhouse out of a box. No imagination... and no gumption to even try to make something.
Take yes, make no.
Your friend needs to start knitting; the needles are sharper.
You're right...these greedy idiots are jealous!
He's like me....crocheting is easier than knitting.
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People who don't make things themselves don't understand the time, skill, and personal attachment that an artist has to what they make. They also shop at big outlets with stuff made in China....so they figure hey afghans...you can purchase one of those for $20.00 right?......But of course a knitter pays more than 20.00 for the raw materials before the project is even started it costs more for the fiber and needles.
Then of course there is the choosing of the materials that will go into a project and finding or making the pattern for it...it's all very personal.
I've seen skeins of cashmere for about 45.00 each. Of course I've never made anything out of it. Some people just don't know this.
Then of course there is the domestic specialty hand spun wool that is between 30-45 or more for a skein.
I think a good response is to tell the person who wants the item for an unfair price to go purchase a lamb and figure out what to do with it.
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People who don't make things themselves don't understand the time, skill, and personal attachment that an artist has to what they make. They also shop at big outlets with stuff made in China....so they figure hey afghans...you can purchase one of those for $20.00 right?......But of course a knitter pays more than 20.00 for the raw materials before the project is even started it costs more for the fiber and needles.
Then of course there is the choosing of the materials that will go into a project and finding or making the pattern for it...it's all very personal.
I've seen skeins of cashmere for about 45.00 each. Of course I've never made anything out of it. Some people just don't know this.
Then of course there is the domestic specialty hand spun wool that is between 30-45 or more for a skein.
I think a good response is to tell the person who wants the item for an unfair price to go purchase a lamb and figure out what to do with it.
LOL!!! Or tell the Idiot what to do with himself!!! LOL!!!!
BTW, I was reading the advice columns this morning and, after reading the first letter, I'm thinking that the so-called "friend" is CLEARLY AN N!!!! My N-relatives used to attempt to pull the same type of crap and then had the NERVE to wonder WHY I stopped having anything to do with them and WHY they NEVER got another gift from me! Geez!!!!! :P
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/invite-her-if-you-can-afford-her.html
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BTW, I've seen skeins of yarn that cost $55.00 or more, apiece, because it contained other types of expensive fibers such as silk! I also know people who purchase raw wool, freshly shorn off the animal, clean it, card it, spin it into yarn, dye it whatever color(s) they want, then either knit with it, crochet with it, or weave it into other projects. (Yes, these individuals actually have weaving looms and spinning wheels, along with the related equipment, in addition to a wide collection of knitting needles and crochet hooks!) That also takes a LOT of work, especially when you want enough yarn to create a large-size afghan!!!
Unfortunately, as I've often heard it said: "You can't fix stupid!"
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Once upon a time, I had friends who raised sheep just for this purpose. Always wanted to learn how to use one of the big floor looms - I can weave with handlooms, hook rugs, quilt, etc... just no patience for crochet or knitting. Makes no sense - I can needlepoint hours at a time (nope; cross stitch is banned too; it makes my eyes cross!)
In one of our local history parks, we have the Island Farm. They raise livestock, have a weaver, blacksmith, etc the way it was done in the 1800s. Hard to believe that a lot of people have no clue how people lived pre-electricity, grocery stores, etc. It's a lot of work - but you're never bored! ;)
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Once upon a time, I had friends who raised sheep just for this purpose. Always wanted to learn how to use one of the big floor looms - I can weave with handlooms, hook rugs, quilt, etc... just no patience for crochet or knitting. Makes no sense - I can needlepoint hours at a time (nope; cross stitch is banned too; it makes my eyes cross!)
In one of our local history parks, we have the Island Farm. They raise livestock, have a weaver, blacksmith, etc the way it was done in the 1800s. Hard to believe that a lot of people have no clue how people lived pre-electricity, grocery stores, etc. It's a lot of work - but you're never bored! ;)
Granted, one is never bored with this.
BTW, I just saw the sad news about Davy Jones, formerly of The Monkees:
http://music.yahoo.com/news/monkees-singer-davy-jones-dead-66-180151703.html
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Davy was Bieber, before there was a Bieber! :)
I was more of a Mickey fan.
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Davy was Bieber, before there was a Bieber! :)
I was more of a Mickey fan.
I can remember when Mickey Dolenz was in the role of Circus Boy back during the late 1950's.
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here............................
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You guys are so talented! Bones in the Smithsonian and Phoenix with various fiber art skills and the desire to WELD. Whatever happened with that?
I know, right? life is so different now, women would have kids to help milk and get water from the well and harvest crops.
I love quilts, I don't do it but I'm just in awe.
Once upon a time, I had friends who raised sheep just for this purpose. Always wanted to learn how to use one of the big floor looms - I can weave with handlooms, hook rugs, quilt, etc... just no patience for crochet or knitting. Makes no sense - I can needlepoint hours at a time (nope; cross stitch is banned too; it makes my eyes cross!)
In one of our local history parks, we have the Island Farm. They raise livestock, have a weaver, blacksmith, etc the way it was done in the 1800s. Hard to believe that a lot of people have no clue how people lived pre-electricity, grocery stores, etc. It's a lot of work - but you're never bored! ;)
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The idea of welding is still there. A place to do it is the biggest issue right now... and the fact that I've got other things that need "doing" first. I'm also getting active in my island community and trying to figure out where I "fit" or "belong"... so I've explored a community relief organization; I'm also part of a grassroots opposition (an almost invisible part) that is fighting for the rights of "everyman" against what I see as an N-organization that wants to make rules, control public property, and push their value system on everyone else... and they have the money to aggressively, legally, do it. So we're raising money; we're suing in DC; we have a petition for the Senate, a bill that would restrain these orgs already proposed in the House... and we're getting the "word out".
My voice is insignificant; I don't know the movers & shakers personally. But that's OK, I'm speaking up anyway -- and finding that I have a lot in common with the other people who live here. If I've learned anything from my healing process, it's that even if some of my ideas are goofy and silly... other people can and do relate to parts of them. So, I'm going "public" with my ideas and voice... and channelling that passion that lives in me to fight Nism when it's steamrolling good people. I might design a billboard and help fund it. There seems to be support for that idea. I used to be pretty good at condensing a simple verbal idea with an emotional image and communicating the need for others to get involved. After all, I do have some experience: I worked at the PR firm that handled the marketing for the resistance to Disney building a theme-park in Haymarket, Va.
Sorry for the hijack Bones! But, if I seem on the quiet side lately - it's just here. I'm opening my big, outraged mouth other places and insisting on being heard.
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You guys are so talented! Bones in the Smithsonian and Phoenix with various fiber art skills and the desire to WELD. Whatever happened with that?
I know, right? life is so different now, women would have kids to help milk and get water from the well and harvest crops.
I love quilts, I don't do it but I'm just in awe.
Once upon a time, I had friends who raised sheep just for this purpose. Always wanted to learn how to use one of the big floor looms - I can weave with handlooms, hook rugs, quilt, etc... just no patience for crochet or knitting. Makes no sense - I can needlepoint hours at a time (nope; cross stitch is banned too; it makes my eyes cross!)
In one of our local history parks, we have the Island Farm. They raise livestock, have a weaver, blacksmith, etc the way it was done in the 1800s. Hard to believe that a lot of people have no clue how people lived pre-electricity, grocery stores, etc. It's a lot of work - but you're never bored! ;)
Thanks, Starlight!
There's a lot of stuff that's fun to do......crocheting, knitting, (either with knitting needles or with a loom), embroidery, latch hook, etc. etc. When I get the catalog from Herrschner's, I just DROOL because I want to do EVERYTHING but can't afford to buy everything I want to do!
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The idea of welding is still there. A place to do it is the biggest issue right now... and the fact that I've got other things that need "doing" first. I'm also getting active in my island community and trying to figure out where I "fit" or "belong"... so I've explored a community relief organization; I'm also part of a grassroots opposition (an almost invisible part) that is fighting for the rights of "everyman" against what I see as an N-organization that wants to make rules, control public property, and push their value system on everyone else... and they have the money to aggressively, legally, do it. So we're raising money; we're suing in DC; we have a petition for the Senate, a bill that would restrain these orgs already proposed in the House... and we're getting the "word out".
My voice is insignificant; I don't know the movers & shakers personally. But that's OK, I'm speaking up anyway -- and finding that I have a lot in common with the other people who live here. If I've learned anything from my healing process, it's that even if some of my ideas are goofy and silly... other people can and do relate to parts of them. So, I'm going "public" with my ideas and voice... and channelling that passion that lives in me to fight Nism when it's steamrolling good people. I might design a billboard and help fund it. There seems to be support for that idea. I used to be pretty good at condensing a simple verbal idea with an emotional image and communicating the need for others to get involved. After all, I do have some experience: I worked at the PR firm that handled the marketing for the resistance to Disney building a theme-park in Haymarket, Va.
Sorry for the hijack Bones! But, if I seem on the quiet side lately - it's just here. I'm opening my big, outraged mouth other places and insisting on being heard.
I don't blame you, P.R.! It's TIME we were all HEARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Had to go talk with a bank person regarding some questions I have about my account. One of the things he kept asking me, repeatedly, was about getting a credit card. I kept telling him, QUOTE: "No, I do NOT want a credit card." UNQUOTE A few minutes later, he asked me the same question again and I gave him the same answer....."No". He kept trying to counter my negative responses with explanations about why I SHOULD have a credit card. (What part of the word "No" do people NOT understand?) :?
Granted, this might be a required part of his job and, at the same time, after I have already said "No" once, that should be the END of that discussion! Sheesh!!!!
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This same bank employee had a hard time understanding the concept of dysfunctional families and being NC. He kept persisting in asking why I was not making any financial arrangements that included my family until I had to specifically tell him that my "family" is DYSFUNCTIONAL and I have ZERO contact with dysfunction! (This had me grinding my teeth!) :P
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here..................
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LOL... the bank employee is a victim of the current gov't and media message that the average person doesn't know jack about finances. It must be true, if the gov't had to set up a special agency to "protect" the average person from the big bad bank, right? At the same time, this poor person is working for a bank... and I'm sure the credit card offered had a pretty high interest rate; almost all of them do these days. 20 years ago, these rates would've been considered "usury". But using credit responsibly is considered essential these days - because the all-powerful (ha!) FICO score is developed from every kind of credit account you've every had. The possibility that someone could live successfully without plastic simply makes no sense to the kids coming out of business schools these days. But then, they can't make change either - without the cash register telling them how much (and they still have to think a minute about which coins add up to that amount).
I heard a public school administrator say last week, that the schools can no longer teach personal finance classes because of the requirements of SOL's and teaching the material on the standardized tests. I guess that's why they don't require history or civics either. Sorry you ran into a product of today's educational system, Bones. It's a mess. They're not teaching the same facts & information you & I learned. I don't know why.
I want beamed up to a sane planet!
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LOL... the bank employee is a victim of the current gov't and media message that the average person doesn't know jack about finances. It must be true, if the gov't had to set up a special agency to "protect" the average person from the big bad bank, right? At the same time, this poor person is working for a bank... and I'm sure the credit card offered had a pretty high interest rate; almost all of them do these days. 20 years ago, these rates would've been considered "usury". But using credit responsibly is considered essential these days - because the all-powerful (ha!) FICO score is developed from every kind of credit account you've every had. The possibility that someone could live successfully without plastic simply makes no sense to the kids coming out of business schools these days. But then, they can't make change either - without the cash register telling them how much (and they still have to think a minute about which coins add up to that amount).
I heard a public school administrator say last week, that the schools can no longer teach personal finance classes because of the requirements of SOL's and teaching the material on the standardized tests. I guess that's why they don't require history or civics either. Sorry you ran into a product of today's educational system, Bones. It's a mess. They're not teaching the same facts & information you & I learned. I don't know why.
I want beamed up to a sane planet!
Thanks, P.R.
Yeah, this bank employee is pretty young and is a product of the insane educational system that focuses on teaching to the test and NOT preparing anyone for the REAL world! ICK!!!
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:shock:
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:shock:
Yep! You got that right and, what is scarier, THIS is our country's future!!!! DOUBLE ICK!!!!!
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This is a WEIRD family feud!
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/flogging-the-family-feud.html
It appears that the young couple will have no choice but to go NC with BOTH sides.
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:shock:
Yep! You got that right and, what is scarier, THIS is our country's future!!!! DOUBLE ICK!!!!!
And this is in light of things that can happen that is BEYOND anyone's control such as: hurricanes, earthquakes, tornadoes, and other natural disasters that can knock out electricity for WEEKS! And this bank-guy could NOT understand why I preferred to rely on PAPER BACK-UPS in case I lost access to the Internet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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That's smart, Bones... paper backups.
I use a combination, just because the paper takes up so much room. With a hard drive backup, you only power & a puter... and these days, it's the power that's more of a problem than the 'net, I find. We don't have those kinds of blackouts we used to have, because of mirroring of whole server farms.
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That's smart, Bones... paper backups.
I use a combination, just because the paper takes up so much room. With a hard drive backup, you only power & a puter... and these days, it's the power that's more of a problem than the 'net, I find. We don't have those kinds of blackouts we used to have, because of mirroring of whole server farms.
I do a combination of hard drive back up and paper. At the same time, I still need to receive paper billing and paper bank statements just in case.
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Ever try to check out at Walmart or the grocery store when the computers go down? IT'S NOT POSSIBLE - not even with cash.
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Ever try to check out at Walmart or the grocery store when the computers go down? IT'S NOT POSSIBLE - not even with cash.
Yep! The poor kiddies don't know what to do with themselves without the computers to do the work FOR them!
On a lighter note, I had the opportunity to use a coupon at a nearby restaurant. As I was sitting and eating, this young mother walked by holding a little toddler by the hand. The baby was just barely old enough to walk and was CUTE as all get out! As the baby approached my table, she looked at me and gave me the BIGGEST GRIN and waved her little hand saying "Bye-bye!" She was just TOO CUTE!!!! :D Little teeny baby with a HUGE bubbly personality!!!! She made me giggle!!! I hope that child NEVER loses that!
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here..........................
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I LOVE it when Judge Judy RIPS into a Narcissistic Parent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just watched a case a few minutes ago where this Jack A$$ attempted to justify financially screwing his daughter who just turned 18 and Judge Judy let him HAVE IT with everything she had!!!! WOOOOO-HOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D
At the end of the case, when the litigants are interviewed outside the courtroom, Jack A$$ was bitching about how DARE she SMEAR him on national television and that he will NEVER speak to her again!!! I'm yelling back at the TV, Jack A$$, your daughter is better off WITHOUT you and your Narcissistic Bull Sh*t!!!!!
YAY, Judge Judy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D
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Bones - I saw that episode too! You are so right! One is better to learn sooner rather than later that the parents are Ns. Sometimes its just the context of learning it that causes the problem - i.e the kid is turned out and destitute before realizing they are RICHER without this involvement in their lives.
In my case, as much as I can be glad my NMom did not ruin my family - I was so confused about myself and relationships for so many years that I did not actually have a chance to have one! Now I know - and still hoping I will have a family of my own!
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Bones - I saw that episode too! You are so right! One is better to learn sooner rather than later that the parents are Ns. Sometimes its just the context of learning it that causes the problem - i.e the kid is turned out and destitute before realizing they are RICHER without this involvement in their lives.
In my case, as much as I can be glad my NMom did not ruin my family - I was so confused about myself and relationships for so many years that I did not actually have a chance to have one! Now I know - and still hoping I will have a family of my own!
I understand about the confusion....especially when we had no other points of reference while growing up due to the fact that the N's CONTROLLED EVERYTHING during our childhoods.
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Had a bit of an experience this morning.
I'm participating in a study which also involves doing a pulmonary function test that could be done in my home. (They know already that I have asthma.) When I made four different attempts with the spirometer, I kept getting "D" and "F" levels which are NOT good at all. (It's possible that my asthma was getting ready to kick up but I had not started experiencing symptoms yet.) After the fourth attempt, I started feeling "wheezy" and informed the people involved with this clinical study that I will need to pause the test and get my inhaler. (At first, I think I scared them but I told them I would be fine since I was nipping the symptoms in the bud, so to speak.)
After we waited until the medication was in my system, we started a new round of the pulmonary function test with the notation about the medication and I started achieving PERFECT scores! (Definitely documented that my symptoms were NOT part of my being "crazy" as the NBitch often decreed that they were!)
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Ever try to check out at Walmart or the grocery store when the computers go down? IT'S NOT POSSIBLE - not even with cash.
http://www.zerohedge.com/article/china-prepares-launch-gold-etfs-utah-becomes-first-state-make-gold-and-silver-legal-tender
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(Definitely documented that my symptoms were NOT part of my being "crazy" as the NBitch often decreed that they were!)
No, you're not crazy Bones 8)
Both my mother and brother also said that my medical symptoms were not real and that I was making them up to get attention. I still have them and it's confirmed by doctors.
It's sad that they made us feel crazy when we were young by being cruel like this. What a loss of CONFIDENCE in one's own senses and experiences and perceptions this causes.
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(Definitely documented that my symptoms were NOT part of my being "crazy" as the NBitch often decreed that they were!)
No, you're not crazy Bones 8)
Both my mother and brother also said that my medical symptoms were not real and that I was making them up to get attention. I still have them and it's confirmed by doctors.
It's sad that they made us feel crazy when we were young by being cruel like this. What a loss of CONFIDENCE in one's own senses and experiences and perceptions this causes.
Thanks, Starlight.
Not only that, then there's the medical expenses that ensues as a direct result of neglect by the NB*tch that we end up having to deal with.
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Yeah, I know the physical symptoms well. I believe - but there's no way to really know - that with proper mothering I wouldn't have developed the symptoms in the first place. It's kinda like my reaction to my mom was an autoimmune disease (with a mind of it's own!). The more I heal now, the less my symptoms show up now.
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Yeah, I know the physical symptoms well. I believe - but there's no way to really know - that with proper mothering I wouldn't have developed the symptoms in the first place. It's kinda like my reaction to my mom was an autoimmune disease (with a mind of it's own!). The more I heal now, the less my symptoms show up now.
Thanks, P.R.
One of the pieces of evidence I came across, when I was going through papers that had been given me from the NB*tch's house was a note that she wrote around the time she took me to the pediatrician as a baby. The doctor TOLD her about my asthma at that time, she probably wrote it down in front of him, then took me home and ignored everything that wasn't convenient to HER.
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Hi Bones,
I was looking at.....Is it always N behavior to Violate Other's Boundaries? Just the other day parent that has lost custody of children (court order) from state (called by teen S) to come get him was stopped and sent away from school. Court order on file.
N's believe that Other's violate thier boundaries. N parent said.........I am his mother!!!
They sure don't think normal.
Deb
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Hi Bones,
I was looking at.....Is it always N behavior to Violate Other's Boundaries? Just the other day parent that has lost custody of children (court order) from state (called by teen S) to come get him was stopped and sent away from school. Court order on file.
N's believe that Other's violate thier boundaries. N parent said.........I am his mother!!!
They sure don't think normal.
Deb
N's don't know how to think normal because they are convinced that the entire universe revolves around THEM!
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They sure do bones...They sure do.
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Hum, I never considered the monetary cost of the medical expenses and the therapy--that's a really good point Bones. I've always just thought of the emotional/life cost.
(Definitely documented that my symptoms were NOT part of my being "crazy" as the NBitch often decreed that they were!)
No, you're not crazy Bones 8)
Both my mother and brother also said that my medical symptoms were not real and that I was making them up to get attention. I still have them and it's confirmed by doctors.
It's sad that they made us feel crazy when we were young by being cruel like this. What a loss of CONFIDENCE in one's own senses and experiences and perceptions this causes.
Thanks, Starlight.
Not only that, then there's the medical expenses that ensues as a direct result of neglect by the NB*tch that we end up having to deal with.
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They sure do bones...They sure do.
Thanks, Debkor!
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Hum, I never considered the monetary cost of the medical expenses and the therapy--that's a really good point Bones. I've always just thought of the emotional/life cost.
(Definitely documented that my symptoms were NOT part of my being "crazy" as the NBitch often decreed that they were!)
No, you're not crazy Bones 8)
Both my mother and brother also said that my medical symptoms were not real and that I was making them up to get attention. I still have them and it's confirmed by doctors.
It's sad that they made us feel crazy when we were young by being cruel like this. What a loss of CONFIDENCE in one's own senses and experiences and perceptions this causes.
Thanks, Starlight.
Not only that, then there's the medical expenses that ensues as a direct result of neglect by the NB*tch that we end up having to deal with.
Thanks, Starlight.
These N's not only impact us mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc., etc., the ramifications can go on for YEARS.....impacting future generations if they get the chance to abuse those innocents! Today's "Dear Abby", in the first letter, seems to be a case in point of three sisters....two of them have gone NC and the third feels conflicted about it all.
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120309
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The "Mess" mentioned in "Annie's Mailbox" sounds like another N! Sheesh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/mom-s-a-mess-and-auntie-s-a-mom.html
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Today's "Dear Margo" seems to be dealing with a few N's as well:
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/a-not-uncommon-dilemma.html
I really felt for the letter writer who just lost a pregnancy through miscarriage. I wouldn't blame her if she bitch-slapped the A$$ for comparing HER arthritis with the cramps!!!! DAMN!!!!
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here.................................
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Not sure if I really like Daylight Saving Time when I LOSE an hour's sleep!
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Looks like the N's are out in force today!
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120312
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Today's first letter in Annie's Mailbox sounds like they are dealing with a Narcissistic Bridezilla!!!!!! :P
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/when-love-throws-a-wrench-into-friendship.html
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Just got a voice mail from my urologist a little while ago. Can't call him back because he's out of town. He's concerned about a cyst on my kidney and wants to do an MRI. Just what I need! MORE medical bills!!!!! :P
What bothers me even more is that if this turns out to be more serious, there are NO 3-D people available to be part of a support system. Everyone's too busy.
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I know that N's can be real Nut/Whack Jobs but THIS one beats all! She was renting a condo in my development and she brought in a whole bunch of wild pigeons into the unit; letting them fly EVERYWHERE!!! You can imagine the PILES of bird !@#$ all over the place...including INSIDE A BRAND NEW MICROWAVE OVEN that she left open for them to roost inside of!!!! :shock: YUCK!!!!!! :P
Well, her landlord FINALLY got fed up with all of this crap and told her she had to leave. Now, she is throwing tantrums because the landlord DARED object to her bringing in those danged wild pigeons!!!! She's definitely a few french fries short of a happy meal!!!!!
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Regarding the first letter in Annie's Mailbox......YIKES!!!!!
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/bride-might-take-a-cue-from-her-brother-and-boycott-the-wedding.html
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I know that N's can be real Nut/Whack Jobs but THIS one beats all! She was renting a condo in my development and she brought in a whole bunch of wild pigeons into the unit; letting them fly EVERYWHERE!!! You can imagine the PILES of bird !@#$ all over the place...including INSIDE A BRAND NEW MICROWAVE OVEN that she left open for them to roost inside of!!!! :shock: YUCK!!!!!! :P
Well, her landlord FINALLY got fed up with all of this crap and told her she had to leave. Now, she is throwing tantrums because the landlord DARED object to her bringing in those danged wild pigeons!!!! She's definitely a few french fries short of a happy meal!!!!!
Lordy. She sounds like one of those animal hoarders. Not necessarily N, but not healthy either. After watching a few episodes of the TV show "Hoarders"... I think a lot of folks like this are holding on to a lot grief - it's a hole that they're trying to fill with stuff, or animals (sometimes food) - and the co-existing depression creates a kind of helplessness where they just don't care, it's overwhelming to deal with, impossible to make headway. Or... in my mom's case... it's become a vehicle for blaming others instead of taking the responsibility herself; there is still a big hole of grief behind it tho' - at least, that's my theory and I'm stickin' to it!
So, you working on talking to the doc and the MRI today? His staff might have some ideas re: transportation for you.
I'm on my last day of prepping for hosting 8 people over a long weekend. You'll appreciate why my anxiety levels go up, perhaps - I feel so clueless about people's expectations and compelled to try to suss out what they might be and plan ahead. Then, there's the fact that I'm opening a hole a mile wide in my normal seclusion/privacy boundaries... that always feels "iffy" for me. I've had workers here off/on the last couple weeks doing some repairs outside - and my old dog & I are just discombobulated when they're here... and only relaxing when they leave. So, I've tried to focus on my own projects to distract myself.
Then, last night hubs says we have to go pick up the boat today... and I was going to do a whole house "top surface" cleaning and pre-cook a few things that will be easy for those times when someone - but not everyone - is hungry for a nosh. This is a restaurant-tasting weekend... so it's not like I have to do meals... but throwing one more thing on my list (when hubs doesn't assist me with any of these tasks - granted, he is doing other things to help!) just throws me into bitchy-negative-self destructive mode. I've already done a lot of outside cleanup - tedious, hard work.
So I scheduled a massage for yesterday! And dropped so far down into a relaxed state, it took me 20 mins to feel like I was back in my body and conscious! LOL. Of course, I was all knotted up and am sore today... but there was a distinct moment when I felt all the chi start to move again - like a dam breaking. I really need to do this more once a year. Then, I was reading in yesterday's WSJ about some studies on massage and it's very real health benefits... the scientists aren't completely sure what goes on in the body yet. But from experience, I can say that my body holds on to tension... muscles cramp up... nerves are sensitive as hell (and yet numb at the same time)...
It's like the effects of tai chi practice - but way more intense, short & direct. And its an opportunity to experience that physical touch - while totally dependent - that I think I have a primal craving for... in a non-relational (low risk; no drama) way.
But I've got to go and get busy!! I've got so much to do today... and I think the workers are here.
Good luck Bones! I hope you get this current challenge tamed, like I know you will.
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I know that N's can be real Nut/Whack Jobs but THIS one beats all! She was renting a condo in my development and she brought in a whole bunch of wild pigeons into the unit; letting them fly EVERYWHERE!!! You can imagine the PILES of bird !@#$ all over the place...including INSIDE A BRAND NEW MICROWAVE OVEN that she left open for them to roost inside of!!!! :shock: YUCK!!!!!! :P
Well, her landlord FINALLY got fed up with all of this crap and told her she had to leave. Now, she is throwing tantrums because the landlord DARED object to her bringing in those danged wild pigeons!!!! She's definitely a few french fries short of a happy meal!!!!!
Lordy. She sounds like one of those animal hoarders. Not necessarily N, but not healthy either. After watching a few episodes of the TV show "Hoarders"... I think a lot of folks like this are holding on to a lot grief - it's a hole that they're trying to fill with stuff, or animals (sometimes food) - and the co-existing depression creates a kind of helplessness where they just don't care, it's overwhelming to deal with, impossible to make headway. Or... in my mom's case... it's become a vehicle for blaming others instead of taking the responsibility herself; there is still a big hole of grief behind it tho' - at least, that's my theory and I'm stickin' to it!
So, you working on talking to the doc and the MRI today? His staff might have some ideas re: transportation for you.
I'm on my last day of prepping for hosting 8 people over a long weekend. You'll appreciate why my anxiety levels go up, perhaps - I feel so clueless about people's expectations and compelled to try to suss out what they might be and plan ahead. Then, there's the fact that I'm opening a hole a mile wide in my normal seclusion/privacy boundaries... that always feels "iffy" for me. I've had workers here off/on the last couple weeks doing some repairs outside - and my old dog & I are just discombobulated when they're here... and only relaxing when they leave. So, I've tried to focus on my own projects to distract myself.
Then, last night hubs says we have to go pick up the boat today... and I was going to do a whole house "top surface" cleaning and pre-cook a few things that will be easy for those times when someone - but not everyone - is hungry for a nosh. This is a restaurant-tasting weekend... so it's not like I have to do meals... but throwing one more thing on my list (when hubs doesn't assist me with any of these tasks - granted, he is doing other things to help!) just throws me into bitchy-negative-self destructive mode. I've already done a lot of outside cleanup - tedious, hard work.
So I scheduled a massage for yesterday! And dropped so far down into a relaxed state, it took me 20 mins to feel like I was back in my body and conscious! LOL. Of course, I was all knotted up and am sore today... but there was a distinct moment when I felt all the chi start to move again - like a dam breaking. I really need to do this more once a year. Then, I was reading in yesterday's WSJ about some studies on massage and it's very real health benefits... the scientists aren't completely sure what goes on in the body yet. But from experience, I can say that my body holds on to tension... muscles cramp up... nerves are sensitive as hell (and yet numb at the same time)...
It's like the effects of tai chi practice - but way more intense, short & direct. And its an opportunity to experience that physical touch - while totally dependent - that I think I have a primal craving for... in a non-relational (low risk; no drama) way.
But I've got to go and get busy!! I've got so much to do today... and I think the workers are here.
Good luck Bones! I hope you get this current challenge tamed, like I know you will.
Thanks, P.R.
Sounds like you have a full plate on your hands!
About the Nut/Whack Job I was referring to, I think she is a combination N and Hoarder because she brags that she is ENTITLED to do whatever she wants! While the new tenant was over here, overseeing the professional cleaning crew in getting all that bird mess out to ensure her asthmatic son would be safe, the N Hoarder showed up cussing and screaming that she was ENTITLED to take back the unit because SHE should never have been put out by the landlord! She even screamed accusations at the new tenant for being in HER way! She got told that it was her own fault that her lease was terminated, she does NOT own the unit, she does NOT live here anymore and that SHE NEEDS TO LEAVE!
The next time the new tenant describes a similar scenario, I'm going to suggest that she call the police because this N is TRESPASSING!
BTW, I'm not sure what time the doctor will call me back.
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The doctor called me a little while ago and we are in the process of arranging an MRI.
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Good luck (((((Bones))))))
Wish we could be 3D.
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Good luck (((((Bones))))))
Wish we could be 3D.
Thanks, ((((((((((((((((Ales2)))))))))))))))
In the meantime, looking at today's advice column in Dear Abby:
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120315
I'm not sure if Dear Abby understands N's.
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After reading the third letter in Annie's Mailbox from the retired state trooper:
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/till-death-do-we-chat.html
I agree with the police officer and I feel that the Annie's, along with the below-the-line commentators just don't get it! I've lost count of how many times I've seen similar cases on Judge Judy where a teenager, (who recently got their driver's permit/license), were put in a position of trust such as house-sitting, pet-sitting, baby-sitting and they violated that trust by taking the plaintiff's car for a "joyride" without permission, caused damage, then attempted to walk away from the consequences and leave the plaintiff with all the bills! And the dumb teenager's parent(s) stand there in court and act just as stupid! (The nut doesn't fall far from the tree!)
It appears that neither the Annie's nor the BTL commentators HEARD what the police officer was telling them about how BAD the situation could get! WHERE are their brains?!?!?
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Bones -
Glad you're taking steps to figure out how to get your MRI. Could be this won't be just a one-time bit of info... it just might be the door that opens into what's available for you... to set up your Plan C - i.e., being able to have medical/transportation backup that reliable and dependable. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.
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Bones -
Glad you're taking steps to figure out how to get your MRI. Could be this won't be just a one-time bit of info... it just might be the door that opens into what's available for you... to set up your Plan C - i.e., being able to have medical/transportation backup that reliable and dependable. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.
Thanks, P.R.
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When I spoke with the doctor, yesterday, regarding the MRI I was given the impression that it would be simply a matter of going in, getting the MRI done on my right kidney, and looking at the results. Simple, right? No-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!! Not according to the people at the imaging place. They are requiring a bunch of bloodwork done BEFORE they will schedule the MRI!
What makes this even more complicated is that my primary care physician has left the area, I'm trying to locate a new primary care physician closer to home that won't charge me an arm and a leg just to walk in the door, and I can't afford any more additional expenses! This is on top of the discussion I had with the specialist, yesterday, about my phobia of needles. (He NEVER mentioned that bloodwork was involved!)
And don't get me started about how bloodwork shouldn't be that big of a deal! I've had enough of THAT over the years!!!!
I am VERY PISSED OFF!!!! I don't like getting hit with nasty surprises!!!!! The specialist should have told me this BEFORE I left his office!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Just thinking on a couple of things this morning. First is today's Annie's Mailbox:
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/a-distant-fifth-wheel.html
I think BOTH the Annie's AND the BTL commentators are NOT getting what the first letter writer is saying. I can identify with how s/he feels as I've had my "status" thrown in my face on more than one occasion, (e.g. "You have NOTHING to do and NOWHERE to go cuz you're NOT married and I OWN you!) It doesn't matter whether s/he visits once a month or less frequently, THE ATTITUDE AND TREATMENT TOWARDS THE LETTER WRITER WOULD BE THE SAME! Even when I cut back my visits to about once a year, if that frequent, I STILL had crap thrown in my face! (Second class citizen anyone?) So, yeah, I get it!
The other thing was a case on Judge Judy yesterday where a grandmother was forced to sue her own daughter in order to COMPEL her to take care of her own son's medical issues, the plaintiff's grandson! The defendant got flippant with Judge Judy! (BAD MOVE!) Judge Judy had to tell this dumb b*tch more than once that since she NEVER terminated her parental rights SHE WAS STILL LEGALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR HER MINOR CHILD! URGH!!!! :P
That case reminded me of a similar situation where I had to deal with a STUPID father who attempted to refuse to do ANYTHING about his son's medical needs! (This was when I was still working at a residential school for the Deaf.) When I finally had no choice but to send Child Protective Services after him, that was when he FINALLY decided to communicate just to cuss me out for BOTHERING him!!! He got read the same riot act that Judge Judy quoted yesterday!!!! He had never gone to court to terminate his parental rights nor appoint a legal guardian, therefore HE WAS STILL RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS MINOR CHILD WHETHER OR NOT IT WAS CONVENIENT FOR THE FATHER!!!! :x
Why are N's such a$$holes?!?!?!?!?
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Finally got the MRI scheduled for Tuesday at 5:00 PM! NO needle sticks! Thank you!
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Read the post about the bragging husband. Sad, that Dear Abby is a trusted advisor to so many people and she might be missing his Nism.
Good luck with your MRI ((((((((Bones)))))))).
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Read the post about the bragging husband. Sad, that Dear Abby is a trusted advisor to so many people and she might be missing his Nism.
Good luck with your MRI ((((((((Bones)))))))).
Thanks, (((((((((Ales2))))))))))))))))))))
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Picked up my anniversary chip today and was thinking back on what I learned through the years..................
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here...........
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here.........................
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I can empathize with the first letter writer:
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120319
How many can remember bringing home a good report card from school only to be stomped on by the N?
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I wrote a script which I sent to my N mother. She read it and all she could say was there was a typo on page 111. When I asked if she liked it, her excuse for a non-response was that she did not know how to read a screenplay. It did not win any contests, but received two honorable mentions. Its certainly readable if nothing else.
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I wrote a script which I sent to my N mother. She read it and all she could say was there was a typo on page 111. When I asked if she liked it, her excuse for a non-response was that she did not know how to read a screenplay. It did not win any contests, but received two honorable mentions. Its certainly readable if nothing else.
I hear ya! The N's just don't care if it's not about them.
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HA. I wonder what would happen if we wrote our N-momsters story from our point of view and they were forced to watch it? Change the setting & details, you know... but keep the facts the same. I wonder if they'd point out how awful the mom is... and then, sanctify themselves and their projections and motives? I'll bet their denial is so strong they'd say how it made them terribly uncomfortable to watch such things because THEY would NEVER do anything like that...
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HA. I wonder what would happen if we wrote our N-momsters story from our point of view and they were forced to watch it? Change the setting & details, you know... but keep the facts the same. I wonder if they'd point out how awful the mom is... and then, sanctify themselves and their projections and motives? I'll bet their denial is so strong they'd say how it made them terribly uncomfortable to watch such things because THEY would NEVER do anything like that...
True! In a sense, this reminds me of the time the NQueen got busted in real life by my orthodontist. (I WISH I had been a fly on the wall for that!)
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Just needing to vent for a little bit.
Yesterday, I got not just one but TWO robo-calls from the Republican Party demanding the destruction of the Affordable Health Care Act...the Act that is HELPING people like me! I posted a rant on my FB page about it along with a rant about the current War on Women by the Republican Party. (Do I sound PISSED OFF? Yeah!) After posting my rant on my FB page, one of my cousins posted a comment on my page stating that if I didn't stop voicing what I thought, she would block me from her Newsfeed. I responded that we can agree to disagree. I then added to my rant that I would be willing to sit down and shut up if Rush Limbaugh and other misogynist women haters stopped acting like obnoxious twits!!!!
I have a voice and I'm gonna use it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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awwww Bonesy... I do understand about the robocalls. My "intrusion" buttons go off every time.
The one that set me off, was from the EPA. (They surely won't call ME back!!! Recorded an earful.) I mean, my tax money shouldn't be going to call every single home looking for support - and in some cases more money. If your plan or cause requires you robocall the average american household looking for money or support - maybe you need a better plan. I've never belonged to any political party... and I'm not joining any in the foreseeable future either.
But I'm thinking of starting one: Real People for Common Sense and the Common Good. Every once in a while, I read or hear something that reassures me that at least someone in the government still remembers what this is.
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awwww Bonesy... I do understand about the robocalls. My "intrusion" buttons go off every time.
The one that set me off, was from the EPA. (They surely won't call ME back!!! Recorded an earful.) I mean, my tax money shouldn't be going to call every single home looking for support - and in some cases more money. If your plan or cause requires you robocall the average american household looking for money or support - maybe you need a better plan. I've never belonged to any political party... and I'm not joining any in the foreseeable future either.
But I'm thinking of starting one: Real People for Common Sense and the Common Good. Every once in a while, I read or hear something that reassures me that at least someone in the government still remembers what this is.
Thanks, P.R.
I'm an Independent and prefer to remain that way.
I think what irked me the most about my cousin's comments is that I don't post criticisms about HER religion or political affiliation on HER FB page so what gives her the right to violate my boundaries and attempt to dictate what I SHOULD think, feel, believe, or be allowed to SPEAK?!?!?
The robo-calls from the Republican Party REALLY get my dander up as well as those RICH FAT CATS have NEVER cared about the little person! All they see is DOLLAR SIGNS to ENRICH THEMSELVES EVEN MORE at MY expense! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GEEZ!!!!!
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As I was reading about this N-supervisor in this article:
http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/game-playing-traps-take-toll-on-subordinate.html
It made me think of a phrase that I've been hearing more frequently:
"You can't fix stupid!"
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Strange situation that I'm still trying to figure out...
Since the weather was so nice today, I decided to go take a walk around where I live then went over to the main building where the fitness room is. As I walked through the building, I passed the office where a staff person for property management works and saw she was meeting with the handyman. Rather than interrupt her meeting, I just waved "hello" and kept on walking to the fitness room. Unfortunately, due to the timing of Mother Nature, before I could get on the equipment, I needed to make a short "pit stop" so I went into the ladies room to "take care of business". As I'm sitting in there, I'm hearing one door after another slamming, then the property management employer opened the door to the bathroom to see where I was! :shock: WTF?!?!?!?
She knows me, knows I occasionally walk around where I live! What gives that she felt compelled to follow me to the bathroom?!?!?!?!?
GEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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This "helicopter mom" sounds just like the way the N-Queen used to act with NGCB!!! Covert incest, anyone?
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/helicopter-mom-needs-to-come-in-for-a-landing.html
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I feel sorry for these kids to be stuck with a mother like THAT!!! :P
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/demon-rum-and-demon-mum.html
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But I'm thinking of starting one: Real People for Common Sense and the Common Good. Every once in a while, I read or hear something that reassures me that at least someone in the government still remembers what this is.
Hi PR,
This is just my observation of why government is the way it is. It is an entity without soul. It doesn't matter how it is structured or how many people under it's auspices agree or disagree on how government handles issues. It doesn't matter that some/perhaps many intuit a train wreck about to happen because of the stand government takes on issues. They are mere specks on the wall in the big picture. Government can't intuit anything - can't. It has no soul. Therefore, I think all governments, regardless of what they are called sooner or later cannabalize themselves. In this decade, I think we are seeing a firsthand demonstration of this happening to a number of governments worldwide including our own.
BUT, if you form the Real People for Common Sense and the Common Good, I'll join!
Ah, what an exciting time to be alive!
tt
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Some of the letters in Dear Margo have me scratching my head:
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/time-for-psychological-warfare.html
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Hi tt -
Ya know, I think you're right about the no soul for government. As an entity, it's like a person who's been so enmeshed with an Nparent, that it doesn't even know it's own core identity. Or like a child feels in the midst of a contentious divorce; forced to pick sides... sigh. I'm so tired of sky is pink; sky is blue arguments. And blame games. And name-calling and devious "control" games. I think we can use the same lens of psychology to observe and understand what's going on in the "bigger picture" - up to a point. Exactly where that point is, might be fluid - very fluid. The danger is, of course, over-reacting or misreading or "reading into" and looking for ulterior motives. We've talked entropy before... about how things just stop working because they're too complex. I'm recognizing plenty of this... it hasn't decreased at all... but on the other hand, it hasn't gotten too much worse either. I wonder if that's irrelevant because there is also a positive, creative, productive stream of energy moving along at the same time? Something that just doesn't get media attention because it's just a bunch of people doing what they always do - living their lives the best they know how.
Anyway, for as long as I can remember, most people have not cared, felt it didn't really matter, or that it was completely futile to speak their minds about government issues. "The silent majority". "The little people". I'm feeling that it's time for me to find my voice on those topics. Not screaming, name-calling, or the rediculous extreme metaphors - or blaming - that we see so much of online & in the media. Just raising my hand, calmly saying what I think... planting an idea or making my point... and then going on my way.
Living my life the best way I know how... but not letting some things pass by without addressing them. Calling it as I see it.
This scares the crap out of me but I'm doing it anyway!!
I'm gonna revive the old slogan, revised: "Act Locally, think Globally". Once my house is in order, only then can I help my neighbor, right?
;)
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Having sleep difficulties this morning...................
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As far as I can see, this N-Mother is setting up her SEVEN-YEAR-OLD daughter for eating disorders!
http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/cutline/vogue-article-mom-7-old-daughter-weight-sparks-175546979.html
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:?
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Hey kiddo - how're ya doin?
Did you get your MRI done yet? I've got a "big step" coming up tomorrow... something I'm doing for myself. More on that in my Twiggy thread.
Been quiet here, huh?
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Hey kiddo - how're ya doin?
Did you get your MRI done yet? I've got a "big step" coming up tomorrow... something I'm doing for myself. More on that in my Twiggy thread.
Been quiet here, huh?
Hi, P.R.
I had the MRI done last week and I'm waiting to hear back from the doctor. If he decides he wants to do a needle aspiration on my kidney, I've already told him that he's going to HAVE to do it under general anesthesia as local and twilight sedation do NOT work anymore!
I'll look for your Twiggy thread to read more.
Yes, it has been quiet here.
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checking in.............................
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Feeling a bit of mischief at the moment. :twisted:
Someone, who I suspect is an N, had a posting show up on my FB newsfeed about the best feminine attribute to have and wanted to know the opinion of others. I couldn't resist responding with: "What about the wrinkles and gray hair that we've EARNED?" No response. Oh well..........
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having trouble sleeping this time of night................
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I don't think this advice columnist gets it:
http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/change-focus-of-employee-who-thrives-on-gossip.html
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still having insomnia issues...............
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Have you tried chamomile tea at night, Bones? Celestial Seasoning "Sleepytime" isn't bad, either. Has anything changed in your environment or routine at night that might be keeping you up? Are you getting enough exercise during the day from normal activity?
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Have you tried chamomile tea at night, Bones? Celestial Seasoning "Sleepytime" isn't bad, either. Has anything changed in your environment or routine at night that might be keeping you up? Are you getting enough exercise during the day from normal activity?
Thanks, P.R.
I think between the time change and dealing with the urologist is affecting my ability to sleep through the night.
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Regarding the first letter, I don't think Dear Abby gets it:
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/
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It was a practical answer--Stick it out until you can legally leave. There is a lot more going on psychologically, for sure, but in the practical sense, what else can an over-controlled, un-employed, non-driving teen age girl do? Even if she calls the authorities and reports to Child Protective Services RIGHT NOW it will still be months before anything happens--if it does. The mother is a bitch, but apparently she is employed and the kids are fed and clothed, so what could be done?
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It was a practical answer--Stick it out until you can legally leave. There is a lot more going on psychologically, for sure, but in the practical sense, what else can an over-controlled, un-employed, non-driving teen age girl do? Even if she calls the authorities and reports to Child Protective Services RIGHT NOW it will still be months before anything happens--if it does. The mother is a bitch, but apparently she is employed and the kids are fed and clothed, so what could be done?
It made me think of what the NQueen-Bitch did to my NGCB the day he announced he was leaving home. She went ballistic and beat the crap out of him because he DARED to want to leave HER!
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Regarding the first letter, I don't think Dear Abby gets it:
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/
One of my concerns is that even when she is old enough to legally leave, where can she afford to go if the NBitch refuses to give her Social Security card to her or anything else that legally belongs to her? She hasn't been allowed to apply for jobs or anything else that would give her the opportunity to escape the NBitch's clutches. She's being enslaved.
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I wondered about that, too. But birth certificates are public record. When she turns 18, she should be able to get hold of her school records, which will include her proper birth date. Then she can go after the birth certif. According to the Social Security web site, her school transcripts can be used for identity to get her social security number. And she will likely have to go to a shelter, or stay with an understanding friend.
She does not have to tell anyone where she is going, either. Hopefully, the day she turns 18, she will walk out the door with a duffel bag full of clothes, and not look back.
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I wondered about that, too. But birth certificates are public record. When she turns 18, she should be able to get hold of her school records, which will include her proper birth date. Then she can go after the birth certif. According to the Social Security web site, her school transcripts can be used for identity to get her social security number. And she will likely have to go to a shelter, or stay with an understanding friend.
She does not have to tell anyone where she is going, either. Hopefully, the day she turns 18, she will walk out the door with a duffel bag full of clothes, and not look back.
Hopefully, unless the NQueenbitch attempts a beat-down like I had witnessed.
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This is NOT an April Fool's joke as I am in NO mood for April Fool crap today! People can be so STUPID!!!!!!!!
The fire alarm in both my building and the building next door sounded off this morning and I could not convince most of my neighbors to evacuate until the fire department arrived. One neighbor actually WASTED time by climbing on a chair to dismantle his smoke detectors instead of getting himself and his pets to safety! It took him several minutes before he realized it was the BUILDING'S ALARM SYSTEM sounding!
What is WRONG with these people or do they have a Death Wish?!?!?!? :?
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And this has been the SECOND time I had to deal with this form of suicidal stupidity from my neighbors in less than three months! EEERRRGGGGGG!!!!
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Nominate them for the Darwin award and be done with it.
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Nominate them for the Darwin award and be done with it.
I'm at that stage now!
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I still believe that the Annie's of Annie's Mailbox are ignorant!
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/mil-borrows-to-bond.html
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I just received a notice yesterday from my health insurance.. Even though they paid for a good portion of the bill, I still have to come up with about $400.00 out of pocket to pay for that stupid MRI! I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to be able to afford THAT on a FIXED income! :P
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Are Bride-zillas N's?
http://www.creators.com/advice/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/manure-and-wife.html
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Hey Bones -- just stopped in to say hey -- glad you are still here! And I definitely don't think Abby got it either. Oh -- saw something about an MRI -- make payment arrangements -- I just got saddled with a 1200 bill for co pays and deductibles on 2 cataract surgeries -- they split it all up between hosp, doc and anesth., so there is a lot of bills but they don't get much if they have to turn you over to collection and even if they balk at first, they can't get blood out of a turnip. To save me from being turned over to collection and when it was apparent that there wasn't anymore money, they've agreed to very small payments that will take about two years -- it is a nuisance to write and send checks -- sigh -- but don't want to start dreading the phone and mail -- as long as they have received Something from you in the 30 days prior, it is not really smart for them to refer for collections. All that snake oil sure is expensive, isn't it?
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Hey Bones -- just stopped in to say hey -- glad you are still here! And I definitely don't think Abby got it either. Oh -- saw something about an MRI -- make payment arrangements -- I just got saddled with a 1200 bill for co pays and deductibles on 2 cataract surgeries -- they split it all up between hosp, doc and anesth., so there is a lot of bills but they don't get much if they have to turn you over to collection and even if they balk at first, they can't get blood out of a turnip. To save me from being turned over to collection and when it was apparent that there wasn't anymore money, they've agreed to very small payments that will take about two years -- it is a nuisance to write and send checks -- sigh -- but don't want to start dreading the phone and mail -- as long as they have received Something from you in the 30 days prior, it is not really smart for them to refer for collections. All that snake oil sure is expensive, isn't it?
Thanks!
It's all just so aggravating!
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I'm watching one of the court shows this afternoon and one of the defendants REALLY took the cake! Turns out that she had been sending her daughter to dance lessons for eight years, STOPPED paying and was sneaking her daughter in the back door to avoid being caught and avoid paying. The owner of the dance studio sent her a registered letter with a cease and desist order, the defendant signed for, and the defendant attempted to deny she ever got such a letter. (I could tell that the judge was really getting annoyed with this defendant and her excuses. Bottom line...this defendant was committing theft of services, plain and simple.) What had my jaw hit the floor was that part of the defendant's defense was that she felt she was ENTITLED to be given a scholarship since she "helped build the plaintiff's business"!!!! :shock: WTF?!?!? (Sorry, Charlie! In my book, you don't earn an entitlement to any scholarship, or anything else for that matter, by stealing services!) WHAT PLANET IS SHE LIVING ON?!?!?!? :?
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sooner or later the daughter will be here for de-programming -- how humiliating for the kid
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sooner or later the daughter will be here for de-programming -- how humiliating for the kid
I agree! I feel sorry for the kid being stuck with a mother like that!
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I'm watching one of the court shows this afternoon and one of the defendants REALLY took the cake! Turns out that she had been sending her daughter to dance lessons for eight years, STOPPED paying and was sneaking her daughter in the back door to avoid being caught and avoid paying. The owner of the dance studio sent her a registered letter with a cease and desist order, the defendant signed for, and the defendant attempted to deny she ever got such a letter. (I could tell that the judge was really getting annoyed with this defendant and her excuses. Bottom line...this defendant was committing theft of services, plain and simple.) What had my jaw hit the floor was that part of the defendant's defense was that she felt she was ENTITLED to be given a scholarship since she "helped build the plaintiff's business"!!!! :shock: WTF?!?!? (Sorry, Charlie! In my book, you don't earn an entitlement to any scholarship, or anything else for that matter, by stealing services!) WHAT PLANET IS SHE LIVING ON?!?!?!? :?
Forgot to add that this N owed the plaintiff $2,000.00 for the stolen services and when the judge asked the N why not take her daughter to dance lessons that don't cost as much, the N insisted that she MUST have the BEST! (I got the feeling that the judge saw straight through the N's ploys.)
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Spotted this in "Dear Margo" on Saturday, April 7, 2012:
"Passive Aggressive Behavior/Food Division
Dear Margo: After suffering for much of my life, I found out a few years ago that I have some severe food intolerances and allergies. It was hard for me to come to terms with the fact that my diet will always have to be quite limited, but I am now beginning to enjoy my newfound health, and I'm creatively coming up with new ways to eat well.
My issue is with my family. I don't visit them very often, as I am a student in a different city, but when I do, they never seem to get that I just can't eat certain types of food. Without fail, I am served something I can't eat, or they make it and eat it in front of me, raving about how good it is and it's too bad I can't have any, poor me. Even my grandmother does this. It makes me feel that my family is incredibly insensitive, and frankly, I'm getting tired of it. I don't want to act like a victim, so I just smile and carry on. Is there a tongue-in-cheek way to let them know I have had enough before I lash out at one of them? — My Way
Dear My: I would stop smiling. What is going on is somewhere between dim and mean. While I am generally in favor of using humor to defuse uncomfortable situations, I am not recommending it in your case because this aggressive effort to push food on you that is harmful is beyond someone saying things that are merely thoughtless. No offense, but these family members are either incredibly thick or strangely unconcerned with your health.
The next time this happens, I would ask: "What part of my doctor's orders do you not understand? And why would you want me to eat something that would cause a serious reaction? While you are free to eat whatever you like, I would consider it a favor if you would not rave about something you are enjoying that you know I cannot have." When people seriously misstep, I have no interest in sparing their feelings. — Margo, directly "
It sounds like the Letter Writer is dealing with a bunch of N's!!!! :P
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checking in.................................
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I'm curious.....who watched which court shows during this past week? Some of the defendants were just OUTRAGEOUS with their unrealistic defenses!!!!! GEEZ!!!!!
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While assisting in teaching a First Aid/CPR class, I couldn't help but notice that the training video showed extreme situations. Real world experience has taught me that not all situations are going to be that extreme. My concern is that a student would get fixated on the extreme symptoms, as dramatized by the video, and ignore real-world symptoms until it's too late! That is not a comfortable feeling!
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Feeling a bit frustrated regarding people and Common Sense!
I've been in contract negotiations with a potential client for several months, MAKING SURE that I CLEARLY understand what the client wants me to do and list the itemized details among the requested tasks into the contract. This client asked me to limit the amount of hours to do the work because of her finances and I agreed to the limitation given that she wanted me to research only ONE ancestor. After all of this "back-and-forth", thinking we have ALL the details ironed out, I sent her a proposed contract and asked her, one FINAL time, "Do I understand EXACTLY what you are asking me to do? Do I have ALL the details correct? If not, please let me know so I can revise/correct the contract." Instead of responding with either an affirmative or a negative, she snail-mails the contract to me, with her retainer, and a HAND-WRITTEN CODICIL scribbled in, asking me to research TWO ancestors within the imposed time limit!!!!!
ANNOYED?!?!?!? HELL, YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I had to wait until I calmed down before I could send her another e-mail, assertively requesting that she NOT add in hand-written codicils to contracts because it creates too much confusion and headaches. What I asked her to do was to send me a copy of a printout regarding the second ancestor in question so I could analyze it to see what, IF anything, I could do with it.....not hand-scribble an additional demand into an already formatted contract!
I just want to head off problems BEFORE they develop....NOT clean up a mess!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :P I just don't understand WHY people do this!
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Just finished watching an episode of Judge Judy a little while ago where the defendant was a self-centered, self-absorbed, Narcissistic, DEAD-BEAT parent who owed back child support then claimed the child, (that he does NOT have custody of), on his taxes and got over $6,000 in a tax refund that he promptly spent on himself and did NOTHING about his arrears with his child support! To add insult to injury, he called CPS on his ex-wife because, in HIS opinion, the house wasn't clean enough to suit HIM! When Judge Judy asked him why didn't he go to the family court to request a change in child custody arrangements, his response was that he didn't have any room since his girlfriend and her two kids are living with him. Oh boy, did Judge Judy RIP HIM A NEW ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (This was one of those rare cases where the plaintiff didn't have to say one single word as Judge Judy dealt with the deadbeat from beginning to end!!!!) WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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having trouble sleeping at the moment........................
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Just finished watching an episode of Judge Judy a little while ago where the defendant was a self-centered, self-absorbed, Narcissistic, DEAD-BEAT parent who owed back child support then claimed the child, (that he does NOT have custody of), on his taxes and got over $6,000 in a tax refund that he promptly spent on himself and did NOTHING about his arrears with his child support! To add insult to injury, he called CPS on his ex-wife because, in HIS opinion, the house wasn't clean enough to suit HIM! When Judge Judy asked him why didn't he go to the family court to request a change in child custody arrangements, his response was that he didn't have any room since his girlfriend and her two kids are living with him. Oh boy, did Judge Judy RIP HIM A NEW ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (This was one of those rare cases where the plaintiff didn't have to say one single word as Judge Judy dealt with the deadbeat from beginning to end!!!!) WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ha! I didn't know my ex (#1) was on TV....
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Just finished watching an episode of Judge Judy a little while ago where the defendant was a self-centered, self-absorbed, Narcissistic, DEAD-BEAT parent who owed back child support then claimed the child, (that he does NOT have custody of), on his taxes and got over $6,000 in a tax refund that he promptly spent on himself and did NOTHING about his arrears with his child support! To add insult to injury, he called CPS on his ex-wife because, in HIS opinion, the house wasn't clean enough to suit HIM! When Judge Judy asked him why didn't he go to the family court to request a change in child custody arrangements, his response was that he didn't have any room since his girlfriend and her two kids are living with him. Oh boy, did Judge Judy RIP HIM A NEW ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (This was one of those rare cases where the plaintiff didn't have to say one single word as Judge Judy dealt with the deadbeat from beginning to end!!!!) WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ha! I didn't know my ex (#1) was on TV....
LOL!!! And the deadbeat DESERVED what he got!!!!! It was FUN watching a Narcissist getting ripped to shreds by Judge Judy!!!! WOO-HOO!!!!!!
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checking in..................
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Feeling down this morning....................
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This first letter sent CHILLS up my spine!!!!!! :shock:
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/sister-poses-serious-threat.html
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Been taking it easy for the moment.................................
Tried to take a nap until the phone started ringing. I tried to ignore it until it stopped and then it started ringing again. The same number showed up both times on the Caller ID. When I picked up the phone to see who in the heck was ringing my phone so much, it turned out to be a STUPID Robo-Call with a pre-recorded message!!! So much for having a nap! :P
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checking in..............................
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The first letter made me grin! :D
http://www.creators.com/advice/tales-from-the-front/if-you-really-loved-me.html
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Yesterday, I went downtown to do some research and wound up witnessing a tantrum being thrown by an N because the staff DARED to say NO to HER demands! :shock: This repository is the same as any other library where people expect to conduct research in peace and quiet. This place also REQUIRES that every researcher has her/his researcher card ON THEIR PERSON. (Just like you are REQUIRED to have a library card BEFORE you walk out of a library with a borrowed book, DVD, etc.)
This one iN-DUHvidual walks in and DEMANDS TOTAL access to EVERYTHING even though she did NOT have a researcher card. The staff explained the rules to her, SEVERAL times only to have this N react by getting LOUDER and LOUDER with HER demands for a SPECIAL EXCEPTION and YELLING: "WHY CAN'T YOU SIMPLY LOOK UP MY NUMBER THAT I'M (condescendingly) GIVING YOU?!?!? (As if the repository staff are supposed to be HER servants! :?) The staff patiently explained that these are the rules and there are no exceptions. She yells back: "THERE IS TOO MUCH SECURITY IN HERE!!!!" (WTF?!?!?!? :shock: :?) The staff, again, repeated the rules and that there are no exceptions to the security procedures. The N's response to that last statement was to wander around the room until the staff explained that without a researcher card, she CANNOT stay in the research area! The N screams LOUDLY: "ALL RIGHT!!! ALL RIGHT!!!! I AM LEAVING!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (But proceeded to passively-aggressively continue to wander around as if she was DARING the staff to call security!)
By this point, I was tempted to grab a piece of paper, create and hold up a sign stating: "WARNING!!! WARNING!!! DANGER, WILL ROBINSON!!!! NARCISSIST IN THE VICINITY!!!"
GEEZ!!!! Can't even research in peace without encountering a Narcissistic IDIOT!!!! :roll:
Plus today's advice column seems to be about MORE Narcissists!
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/mom-s-a-mess.html
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HA! Imagine how good it would've been to have made the sign - and had everyone in the vicinity break out in laughter.... as I think they would have! No, it's not politically or socially "correct"! But neither was that person's interruption and melt-down.
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HA! Imagine how good it would've been to have made the sign - and had everyone in the vicinity break out in laughter.... as I think they would have! No, it's not politically or socially "correct"! But neither was that person's interruption and melt-down.
Thanks, P.R.!
I couldn't help but wonder what it was going to take before security was finally called to drag this N-Idiot outta there!!!!!
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checking in...................
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Doing some thinking this morning......
Will post later...........................................
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I've had to do some thinking regarding a volunteer organization, (police auxiliary), I've been involved with for about 15+plus years. When I first joined this group, there were MANY fun and interesting activities to do. Since a particular officer has been put in charge of "overseeing" our group, all of the fun and interesting activities that we used to do have been stopped. Everything must now center on what HE wants. (Sound familiar?) Last year, another member and I made a suggestion that was immediately shot down by this officer. This year, this particular officer approached us with the EXACT SAME SUGGESTION and tried to convince us it was HIS idea all along and DEMANDED that we SHOULD do as he says!!! (WTF?!?!?! :?) We told him we would "think about it". Once the other member and I talked privately, we shared our mutual outrage at this latest example of his BS. Our decision is to basically tell him to take his "idea" and go screw himself!
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Hey Bones...
I've had that happen to me a lot. In fact, I started to try to intentionally do this with N-ish folk... like some kind of idea Johnny Appleseed. My Nboss just loved to take credit for my work, you know? So, why not feed him my ideas and let him take credit for them?? Sure did lower the everyday conflict. :D I finally got to a place where if the idea had value in the first place - I stopped caring whose idea it was to implement it - as long as it was implemented.
Sure, sometimes the idea was watered down or limited or bloated beyond all recognition. But I quickly learned to keep a direct hand in the implementation because often I could avoid that result - by talking about consequences, big picture, etc. - and being directly responsible for accomplishing the task. Being directly responsible was - sometimes - also a nightmare... but not always.
I think this is sort of an occupational hazard for creative types. We can "see" the obvious solution or have an idea that just makes sense any way you look at it -- but the "powers that be" choose to reject it, dismiss it, or disown it because they didn't think of it themselves (or some other reason). Sometimes it's just an idea that's ahead of it's time, too. But anytime someone comes back to me with an idea that was mine to begin with - I jump on that opportunity to "make it happen" - no matter who's going to own it or get credit for it. Most of the time, people knew who did the heavy lifting, you know?
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Hey Bones...
I've had that happen to me a lot. In fact, I started to try to intentionally do this with N-ish folk... like some kind of idea Johnny Appleseed. My Nboss just loved to take credit for my work, you know? So, why not feed him my ideas and let him take credit for them?? Sure did lower the everyday conflict. :D I finally got to a place where if the idea had value in the first place - I stopped caring whose idea it was to implement it - as long as it was implemented.
Sure, sometimes the idea was watered down or limited or bloated beyond all recognition. But I quickly learned to keep a direct hand in the implementation because often I could avoid that result - by talking about consequences, big picture, etc. - and being directly responsible for accomplishing the task. Being directly responsible was - sometimes - also a nightmare... but not always.
I think this is sort of an occupational hazard for creative types. We can "see" the obvious solution or have an idea that just makes sense any way you look at it -- but the "powers that be" choose to reject it, dismiss it, or disown it because they didn't think of it themselves (or some other reason). Sometimes it's just an idea that's ahead of it's time, too. But anytime someone comes back to me with an idea that was mine to begin with - I jump on that opportunity to "make it happen" - no matter who's going to own it or get credit for it. Most of the time, people knew who did the heavy lifting, you know?
Hey, P.R.
In this case, it would have involved the other member taking off from her job, plus my not working at my business, just to make money to totally give away as HE dictated! And what would we get out of losing time from our own jobs? NOTHING at best and LOSING EMPLOYMENT AT WORST!!!!!!!!!!!!! He can look elsewhere for a different source of income! WE AIN'T IT!!!
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I guess I'm just in a BAD mood today! :P
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Ah... I didn't get the data-bit - the first time - that this would involve so much time, you couldn't take care of your personal obligations. Obviously, that's a "DUH... sorry, I can't do that" situation!!
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Ah... I didn't get the data-bit - the first time - that this would involve so much time, you couldn't take care of your personal obligations. Obviously, that's a "DUH... sorry, I can't do that" situation!!
Thanks, P.R.
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Just got my new issue of the AARP magazine and there's an article in it about adult children who become estranged from their parents.
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In today's "Dear Abby", I can identify with "Lizzie":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120418
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Still ruminating on the difference between Healthy Narcissism and Narcissistic Personality Disorder.........................
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Just finished watching an episode of Judge Judy a little while ago. I'm still scratching my head about that last case where the defendant bought TEN pairs of shoes, put a STOP PAYMENT on the check, then tried to give Judge Judy a boat-load of excuses!!! I just don't get it!
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I'm in a state of shock this morning. :shock:
I had stepped outside of my comfort zone and ran for a position on my HOA Board of Directors.
I got elected. :shock: :shock:
Now what do I do?
It's SCARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(I also feel like thumbing my nose at the NQueen B*tch, if that makes any sense.)
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Today's Dear Abby seems to allude to N's:
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120419
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Well - now you find out what it's like being on the HOA, Bones! It won't live up to everything you hope it will... but it probably won't live down to your worst fears, either. Are you a member "at-large" or do you have a specific role?
Maybe you'll make a new friend who likes to the do some of the same things you do.
Maybe you'll get new insight (well, this almost guaranteed) into group dynamics.
Maybe you'll get bored - or surprised - or GASP! HEARD and taken seriously. LOL...
I hope you enjoy the experience, overall, Bones. It sounds like it might be right up your alley. And I know you'll do a good job!
Congrats!
(kinda nice to be elected - picked - by a bunch of people isn't it? and YEAH, that is thumbing your nose at Nmom's crap - take that you huzzy! you were WRONG about BONES, weren't you?????)
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Well - now you find out what it's like being on the HOA, Bones! It won't live up to everything you hope it will... but it probably won't live down to your worst fears, either. Are you a member "at-large" or do you have a specific role?
Maybe you'll make a new friend who likes to the do some of the same things you do.
Maybe you'll get new insight (well, this almost guaranteed) into group dynamics.
Maybe you'll get bored - or surprised - or GASP! HEARD and taken seriously. LOL...
I hope you enjoy the experience, overall, Bones. It sounds like it might be right up your alley. And I know you'll do a good job!
Congrats!
(kinda nice to be elected - picked - by a bunch of people isn't it? and YEAH, that is thumbing your nose at Nmom's crap - take that you huzzy! you were WRONG about BONES, weren't you?????)
Thanks, P.R.
It's definitely a DIFFERENT learning experience. I'm still reading through the binder that was given to me and there's more papers to come that I will need to review. (Kind of makes me think of that box of papers that Queen Elizabeth has to work through. I don't think her job is easy either.)
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The first letter in "Dear Margo" appears to be describing an N:
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/pushy-to-say-the-least.html
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checking in...................................
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checking in...............
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Last night, as I went out with some friends, I met the 2-year-old daughter of one of them for the first time. Normally, I don't consider myself a kid-friendly person as I'm not around children on a regular basis. When I arrived, the other club members were commenting about how the 2-year-old wouldn't speak to them or go anywhere near them. She just clung to Daddy. As I sat down, I looked over at her and said "Hi" as I waved "Hello" at her. Before I could blink, she was in my lap, saying "Hi" and cuddling with me!!! :shock: I cuddled her back and the other club members were wondering what did I do that was so different. I have NO idea!
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having trouble sleeping..........................
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I think I pissed off one of my neighbors. Yesterday, while it was pouring rain outside, my phone rang. It was my neighbor, sitting in his car in the parking lot and observing a group of teenagers loitering and smoking in an area where they weren't supposed to be. (We have had an ongoing problem with trespassers.) I advised him to call the city police and report what he was observing given that he is part of our Neighborhood Watch. He wanted me to call it in FOR him! :shock: I explained that I have NO way of seeing these teenagers outside my windows because my line of sight is blocked by clusters of trees. He is the one, sitting in his car eye-balling this group. The police will ask specific questions that only he could answer as I CANNOT see anything from my vantage point. (I was NOT about to go outside in the pouring rain with my cell phone when my neighbor was already there, sitting inside of his car on his cell phone to me!) Needless to say, my neighbor was NOT happy when I told him: "No, I am not calling in a second-hand report when you are the eye-witness. (My feeling was: in the time it took to dial my number and argue with me, he could have been reporting this information to the city police and let them handle it!) :roll:
I'm also concerned that our Neighborhood Watch group could be getting a black eye based on what that idiot in Florida did! :P
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And it could be... that's why he wanted you to call it in. He was worried too. Glad you told him no, though! You're absolutely right that they would ask things only he could answer, during the report. Do you have "no loitering" signs up? Just wondering if this might help. At least it would be a public notice of your intent - then, when the report goes in - at least it'll be harder to brush off the report. Police are stretched pretty thin, these days, I think.
Teenagers have hung out like that, at least since I was a teen - usually it's just an annoyance; an irritation to the neighborhood. But if they are chased out - maybe they'd end up somewhere they really have no business being, ya know? Sometimes, it's possible to try talking to them - find out a little about them - in a sincerely nice way. I'm gonna guess they don't have anything else to do and no one at home cares. Too bad they'd probably refuse an offer of helping out around for there, for what y'all could afford to pay them. (That's my Pollyanna perspective.)
On the other hand (and way more realistically speaking) - I know full well the less than cordial (!) and intimidating stance of a group of teenaged boys (and these days, girls too) who feel like any normal human, neighborly interaction somehow has a nefarious, evil ulterior motive. Groups who are just a moment away from pretending to be - or being - thugs. And I completely understand how you really have to cautious... and that even the appearance of becoming a regular "hangout" for the kids quickly turns to something worse.
SIGH. Even in my day it was hard for kids who felt "in the way" and unwanted and uncool at home to find something productive to do. But at least we still had strong neighborhoods. The kids were organized from time to time, to donate time/skills/grunt labor to helping out older folks who couldn't tackle those jobs themselves. We picked up trash along back roads outside of town and around the parks we liked to hang out in. We volunteered - I was a candy striper for awhile. Why couldn't kids who need parental attention and guidance be paired up with seniors who physically can't do what they used to - to each other's mutual benefit?? Or am I just living in a fuzzy dream about the "good old days"?
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And it could be... that's why he wanted you to call it in. He was worried too. Glad you told him no, though! You're absolutely right that they would ask things only he could answer, during the report. Do you have "no loitering" signs up? Just wondering if this might help. At least it would be a public notice of your intent - then, when the report goes in - at least it'll be harder to brush off the report. Police are stretched pretty thin, these days, I think.
Teenagers have hung out like that, at least since I was a teen - usually it's just an annoyance; an irritation to the neighborhood. But if they are chased out - maybe they'd end up somewhere they really have no business being, ya know? Sometimes, it's possible to try talking to them - find out a little about them - in a sincerely nice way. I'm gonna guess they don't have anything else to do and no one at home cares. Too bad they'd probably refuse an offer of helping out around for there, for what y'all could afford to pay them. (That's my Pollyanna perspective.)
On the other hand (and way more realistically speaking) - I know full well the less than cordial (!) and intimidating stance of a group of teenaged boys (and these days, girls too) who feel like any normal human, neighborly interaction somehow has a nefarious, evil ulterior motive. Groups who are just a moment away from pretending to be - or being - thugs. And I completely understand how you really have to cautious... and that even the appearance of becoming a regular "hangout" for the kids quickly turns to something worse.
SIGH. Even in my day it was hard for kids who felt "in the way" and unwanted and uncool at home to find something productive to do. But at least we still had strong neighborhoods. The kids were organized from time to time, to donate time/skills/grunt labor to helping out older folks who couldn't tackle those jobs themselves. We picked up trash along back roads outside of town and around the parks we liked to hang out in. We volunteered - I was a candy striper for awhile. Why couldn't kids who need parental attention and guidance be paired up with seniors who physically can't do what they used to - to each other's mutual benefit?? Or am I just living in a fuzzy dream about the "good old days"?
The issue we have, where I live, is:
(a) These teenagers do NOT live here!
(b) We've had break-ins and vandalism from similar groups.
(c) There has been a gang-related murder not far from my development.
And these are only a few of the issues that we have been dealing with. I know I sound cynical and yet if these teens do NOT live in my condo development, they should NOT be trespassing onto the property. There's a basketball court across the street and other recreational facilities available to them within walking distance of where they live. They do NOT have to come onto our property, hang out and smoke whatever.
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I'm just feeling aggravated in general as I had to go in to the doctor's office in order to be able to get my prescriptions refilled. The doctor I used to see is no longer at that office and the doctor I was scheduled with, today, wasn't listening to ANYTHING I was saying! I get half a sentence out and she's interrupting me to talk about herself, her husband, her kids, and the previous patient she had just seen! When I started to discuss my medical history, e.g. IBS, kidney stone, asthma, for which the previous doctor had referred me to other specialists, her reaction was that I SHOULD cancel my appointments with these specialists and see ONLY HER! (This was our very FIRST meeting!) My reaction to this scenario is: NO WAY!!!! It's time to change to a doctor's office closer to home and find a doctor who is willing to take the cotton out of the ears, stick it in the mouth, SHUT UP and LISTEN!!!!!
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oooh, Bones... sorry bout that MD! Doesn't sound like a good fit for you, at all.
I can relate to the gang violence. Even in my sheltered little corner of the world - we had an intrusion not long ago into the neighborhood. They HAD to have walked in quietly past the guard gate (which stops vehicles without stickers and everyone after a certain time of night). Ya gotta do what ya gotta do, to be able to sleep at night - ya know?
A good solid baseball bat is better than nothing, if you'd happen to need it.
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oooh, Bones... sorry bout that MD! Doesn't sound like a good fit for you, at all.
I can relate to the gang violence. Even in my sheltered little corner of the world - we had an intrusion not long ago into the neighborhood. They HAD to have walked in quietly past the guard gate (which stops vehicles without stickers and everyone after a certain time of night). Ya gotta do what ya gotta do, to be able to sleep at night - ya know?
A good solid baseball bat is better than nothing, if you'd happen to need it.
Thanks, P.R.
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Just something to think about......
If you have to change doctors, within a medical office that you have been going to for DECADES, and the new doctor is dismissive, constantly interrupts every sentence that comes out of your mouth, blows off your concerns, CLEARLY did NOT review your medical history, mentions conversations with previous patients, and acts contemptuous toward anyone who disagrees with them and their way of doing things......RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I would NOT trust that person with my health, my life, NOR my sobriety!!!!!
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As some of you may know, recently I became a member of my HOA Board. As a result, I've been receiving reports concerning budget details, legal details, delinquencies, etc. Being the anal-retentive pain-in-the-butt, I've been cross-referencing two of these reports that focus on the same cases and have been asking direct questions to the other Board members and to property management. One of the Board members responded that this was the first time they have ever received one of the reports, which contains a LOT more details than the other, vague, report they've been getting for years. (Interesting!!! Long story behind that bit of business.)
However, the quote "response" unquote I received from property management not only evaded my direct question, it was also condescending, dismissive, referred to me as just a "new board member" and that a property management representative, along with the new board president would meet with me "privately" about my concerns. (WTF?!?!? :?) Given the amount of money that I'm paying every month, and given the amount of money that the HOA is paying property management to conduct business on our behalf plus given the amount of money that HOA is paying the lawyers to pursue delinquencies, the HOA Board has a right to receive a STRAIGHT answer to a DIRECT question!!! Property management is an EMPLOYEE!!! They are NOT the boss and they are DEFINITELY NOT my mother!!! Don't hand me and the HOA Board a bunch of cockamamie BS while refusing to answer a direct question and talking down to me as if I'm some sort of troublesome child! The HOA is NOT paying them to play BS games! :evil:
Know what I mean?
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As some of you may know, recently I became a member of my HOA Board. As a result, I've been receiving reports concerning budget details, legal details, delinquencies, etc. Being the anal-retentive pain-in-the-butt, I've been cross-referencing two of these reports that focus on the same cases and have been asking direct questions to the other Board members and to property management. One of the Board members responded that this was the first time they have ever received one of the reports, which contains a LOT more details than the other, vague, report they've been getting for years. (Interesting!!! Long story behind that bit of business.)
However, the quote "response" unquote I received from property management not only evaded my direct question, it was also condescending, dismissive, referred to me as just a "new board member" and that a property management representative, along with the new board president would meet with me "privately" about my concerns. (WTF?!?!? :?) Given the amount of money that I'm paying every month, and given the amount of money that the HOA is paying property management to conduct business on our behalf plus given the amount of money that HOA is paying the lawyers to pursue delinquencies, the HOA Board has a right to receive a STRAIGHT answer to a DIRECT question!!! Property management is an EMPLOYEE!!! They are NOT the boss and they are DEFINITELY NOT my mother!!! Don't hand me and the HOA Board a bunch of cockamamie BS while refusing to answer a direct question and talking down to me as if I'm some sort of troublesome child! The HOA is NOT paying them to play BS games! :evil:
Know what I mean?
Short update:
Property management finally started giving answers to the questions. It remains to be seen how straight the answers really are as time goes on.
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checking in.............................................
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This is OUTRAGEOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/stuart-chaifetz-secretly-tapes-autistic-son-school-discovers-220500111.html
NO child deserves to be treated that way, in school, by adults WHO ARE SUPPOSED TO KNOW BETTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Welcome to politics, Bones...
there are seldom straight answers... and one thing I've learned over time, is that no matter what is decided, what rule is enforced (or loosened)... someone somewhere isn't going to be happy about it. The people making decisions need to understand that it's not possible to make or keep everyone happy, all at one time. You simply have to point your sails in the direction of the best outcome for the most people.
Just because there are no simple, straight, b&w answers... doesn't mean (all the time) that the "game is rigged", or that there's something nefarious going on. It's very, very true that sometimes it does. That's why I cling to my research, look for data -- and do my own analysis -- and listen to a lot of people's opinions. The very same skill I learned in healing - to find out as much as I can, look at it a lot of different ways, then let it SIT for awhile - seems to work pretty well with political issues, too. Remember you have those skills, are an expert at using them even (!), and you'll be OK.
I still think you're going to do a lot of good on the board.
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Welcome to politics, Bones...
there are seldom straight answers... and one thing I've learned over time, is that no matter what is decided, what rule is enforced (or loosened)... someone somewhere isn't going to be happy about it. The people making decisions need to understand that it's not possible to make or keep everyone happy, all at one time. You simply have to point your sails in the direction of the best outcome for the most people.
Just because there are no simple, straight, b&w answers... doesn't mean (all the time) that the "game is rigged", or that there's something nefarious going on. It's very, very true that sometimes it does. That's why I cling to my research, look for data -- and do my own analysis -- and listen to a lot of people's opinions. The very same skill I learned in healing - to find out as much as I can, look at it a lot of different ways, then let it SIT for awhile - seems to work pretty well with political issues, too. Remember you have those skills, are an expert at using them even (!), and you'll be OK.
I still think you're going to do a lot of good on the board.
Thanks, P.R.
One of the things I always do is ask a LOT of questions.....even if they are considered "not politically correct" as property management tried to infer. One of the things I have learned from the seminars I've attended is that property management does NOT run the Board of Directors. They are EMPLOYEES. When I see evidence of actions they've taken, WITHOUT PRIOR DISCUSSION WITH THE BOARD, notify homeowners AFTER THE FACT while CHARGING US for what they've just done, I WILL ASK QUESTIONS!!!!! They don't like being called on it??? TOO BAD!!!! I don't like them acting free and easy with HOA money...which includes MY money!!!!!
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I know just what you mean, Bones!
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I know just what you mean, Bones!
Thanks, P.R.!
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As some of you may know, recently I became a member of my HOA Board. As a result, I've been receiving reports concerning budget details, legal details, delinquencies, etc. Being the anal-retentive pain-in-the-butt, I've been cross-referencing two of these reports that focus on the same cases and have been asking direct questions to the other Board members and to property management. One of the Board members responded that this was the first time they have ever received one of the reports, which contains a LOT more details than the other, vague, report they've been getting for years. (Interesting!!! Long story behind that bit of business.)
However, the quote "response" unquote I received from property management not only evaded my direct question, it was also condescending, dismissive, referred to me as just a "new board member" and that a property management representative, along with the new board president would meet with me "privately" about my concerns. (WTF?!?!? :?) Given the amount of money that I'm paying every month, and given the amount of money that the HOA is paying property management to conduct business on our behalf plus given the amount of money that HOA is paying the lawyers to pursue delinquencies, the HOA Board has a right to receive a STRAIGHT answer to a DIRECT question!!! Property management is an EMPLOYEE!!! They are NOT the boss and they are DEFINITELY NOT my mother!!! Don't hand me and the HOA Board a bunch of cockamamie BS while refusing to answer a direct question and talking down to me as if I'm some sort of troublesome child! The HOA is NOT paying them to play BS games! :evil:
Know what I mean?
Yep!!! I'm pretty sure I have PISSED some people off!!!!
A little while ago, I received an e-mail from the newly-elected HOA Board president "inviting" me to a "private" meeting with him and property management concerning the questions I have been asking, (and have a RIGHT to ask). He "cc'ed" the president of the property management company along with one other member of property management staff. I also noticed that ALL of the other Board members were specifically EXCLUDED. I responded: "Thank you for the invitation. I choose to decline at this time."
Then I get a NASTY e-mail DEMANDING if I consider him not up to the job as the newly-elected HOA Board president!! (WTF?!?!?!?!?) And, once again, he's sending a "cc" to property management while EXCLUDING ALL OTHER MEMBERS OF THE BOARD. (Divide and conquer....sound familiar?) My next response was: "I choose to decline. Thank you."
What part of the word "NO" do they not understand? :?
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I couldn't help but feel that my intelligence was being insulted because I DARED to ask questions and demand answers plus be given overdue documents that should have been given to the Board YEARS ago. From my perspective, for what it's worth, I don't see the point in wasting my time in a useless "private" meeting, with the new HOA president and property management if the intention of the meeting is to intimidate me into silent compliance with whatever property management wants to do. If they, (property management), expect me to blindly rubber-stamp whatever is put in front of me, think again! As it was once said on the TV program: "In Living Color": "This Homey Don't Play That!"
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"In Living Color": "This Homey Don't Play That!"
I was just wondering the other day, if I was the only person to remember this line Bones! Thanks for the smile.
Sounds like the HOA is subordinate to the property co, Bones. I don't know - that could be normal for Condo Associations? In my case, our neighborhood has about 300 residents, the HOA kinda deals with all the common areas, the marina, and security contracts and "the rules"... and the prop mgmt company only handles communications with the residents, helps with organizing the several annual community events... it's our HOA that is the legal entity for the community, though... not the prop company. It sounds like your situation is exactly the reverse... and has been - in practice - for a long time. The HOA can even foreclose on properties, if the annual fee isn't paid - that was news to me! Who knew?
Whether that's "right" or not... I sure don't know. Maybe you've just found the fly in the soup, too! Sure looks like they expect you to put on your "good girl hat" and not question a thing; just do what you're told. But ya know? I would've gone to the meeting on the chance that someone would've let something revealing slip...
... but I'd be wearing my armored undies, in case they were more in a$$ kicking mode!
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"In Living Color": "This Homey Don't Play That!"
I was just wondering the other day, if I was the only person to remember this line Bones! Thanks for the smile.
Sounds like the HOA is subordinate to the property co, Bones. I don't know - that could be normal for Condo Associations? In my case, our neighborhood has about 300 residents, the HOA kinda deals with all the common areas, the marina, and security contracts and "the rules"... and the prop mgmt company only handles communications with the residents, helps with organizing the several annual community events... it's our HOA that is the legal entity for the community, though... not the prop company. It sounds like your situation is exactly the reverse... and has been - in practice - for a long time. The HOA can even foreclose on properties, if the annual fee isn't paid - that was news to me! Who knew?
Whether that's "right" or not... I sure don't know. Maybe you've just found the fly in the soup, too! Sure looks like they expect you to put on your "good girl hat" and not question a thing; just do what you're told. But ya know? I would've gone to the meeting on the chance that someone would've let something revealing slip...
... but I'd be wearing my armored undies, in case they were more in a$$ kicking mode!
Thanks, P.R.
I couldn't help but notice that property management expects, even demands, that I be VOICELESS and allow them to do whatever they want with HOA money, which also involves MY money. As I continued to read through the binder that was given me, I realized that if I had agreed to this so-called "private" meeting with the new HOA president and a representative of property management as their attempt to force me into silent compliance, property management would have been charging the HOA $100.00 AN HOUR for that stupid, useless, unnecessary meeting!!!! :P I THINK NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The idiots don't seem to get that (a) I've graduated Summa Cum Laude from a university, (b) I have a Masters degree, (c) I KNOW HOW TO READ!!!! Oh, and one other thing, I HAVE A RIGHT TO CRITICAL THINKING AND ASKING QUESTIONS when I see things that are NOT right!
Do I sound PISSED?!?!?!?!?
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Having sleep problems this morning..........................
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I've gotten responses from two other members of the Board and I have been encouraging them to read the documents they have and ask questions too. That's the best I can do.
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checking in.......................
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Sleep difficulties this morning....................
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Dealing with anxieties........................................
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checking in.................................
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Anything specific worrying you? the HOA stuff? or just "stuff" in general?
It might not apply for you, but one of the herbal concoctions I'm using trying to balance my hormones, I noticed had affected my mental state. I had the full on, non-stop, racing thoughts (but I don't have any legitimate worries right now) - and if I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom - that was plenty of time to get caught up in all that. Day & night, I was like that (it was like the effect Welbutrin had on me)... and once I realized I couldn't hold on to a train of thought long enough to finish a task without getting side-tracked - sigh - I took a week's break from it. Cleared right up. Now, I only take it in the morning and I've cut the dose again.
But gotta admit, it was pretty interesting to notice this affect. It's a thyroid support combo and contains ashwagandha, as it's main ingredient. And everything I've seen only talks about drowsiness as a side effect - but then, I should know by now that my body is set up the reverse from most people. Like things are wired backwards in my brain! hahaha!
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Anything specific worrying you? the HOA stuff? or just "stuff" in general?
It might not apply for you, but one of the herbal concoctions I'm using trying to balance my hormones, I noticed had affected my mental state. I had the full on, non-stop, racing thoughts (but I don't have any legitimate worries right now) - and if I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom - that was plenty of time to get caught up in all that. Day & night, I was like that (it was like the effect Welbutrin had on me)... and once I realized I couldn't hold on to a train of thought long enough to finish a task without getting side-tracked - sigh - I took a week's break from it. Cleared right up. Now, I only take it in the morning and I've cut the dose again.
But gotta admit, it was pretty interesting to notice this affect. It's a thyroid support combo and contains ashwagandha, as it's main ingredient. And everything I've seen only talks about drowsiness as a side effect - but then, I should know by now that my body is set up the reverse from most people. Like things are wired backwards in my brain! hahaha!
Thanks, P.R.
It's mainly the HOA stuff that has my anxiety going. I'm NOT a politician and I don't like having my time wasted with political BS games. I prefer to deal with issues openly and above board, not with little secretive back-room side meetings, if you know what I mean. I sense that I may have ruffled the feathers of some N's because I DARED to say NO to their ORDERS and I'm wondering what the backlash is going to be. From my perspective, I wasn't elected by the other homeowners just to be compliant with whatever property management dictates when property management IS AN EMPLOYEE. (So much for the "honeymoon" stage immediately after an election!)
I hear ya about medications, etc. working backwards! I tried that 5-hour energy drink, once, and it threw me into one of the WORST DEPRESSIONS I had EVER experienced!!! While it's supposed to give energy to others, it only SAPPED my energy and made suicidal thoughts WORSE! I had the same effect when I tried an over-the-counter remedy called "Senior Moment". That triggered Depression too!! So I know I need to be careful with any over-the-counter or herbal remedies since my brain is hard-wired differently from everyone else.
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I'm also taking another risk in stepping outside of my comfort zone.
In working on my genealogy, it's sunk into my little pea-brain that one of my ancestors was a soldier in the American Revolution....making me eligible for the DAR. I remember being told, by the N's in the family, that I would NEVER be accepted anywhere because I'm the "wrong color", (I'm part African-American). I also remember that decades ago, the DAR refused to permit Marian Anderson to perform in Constitution Hall because of her race. Time has changed all that, (me and other African-Americans have performed on the stage at Constitution Hall in 1976), and the DAR website clearly states that it will not discriminate on the basis of race. The only requirement for membership is being a direct descendant of a Patriot that is provable.
I've made some inquiries about the possibility of joining a chapter near my home and, at the same time, I AM TERRIFIED!
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Have no fear, Bones! Claiming what's rightfully yours is always a good feeling.
Chances are, you'll be validated in your quest.
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Have no fear, Bones! Claiming what's rightfully yours is always a good feeling.
Chances are, you'll be validated in your quest.
Thanks, P.R.
I hope so.
I guess feeling like I'm "good enough" is an unfamiliar experience.
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ain't it the truth?!
Good enough:
to feel good
to be satisfied with how much I accomplish in one day
to feel "allowed" to take a day off to play, do absolutely nothing productive, or just do nothing - and enjoy it!
to feel confident enough in myself to not automatically isolate myself from people
to not distrust myself and other's intentions
to remember to pat myself on the back for even microsteps of progress - no matter how far away the goal remains
to just have some fun, laugh, and love with those who are important to me...
since I can't fix what's wrong with "people", the "news", the "politics", etc... when I can't even feel important/good enough to myself to decide what to fix for dinner!
LOL... I feel so silly sometimes about how easy it is to forget this "standard operating procedure"... and the extremes I will go to, to actually SEEK OUT things to worry about, be indignant about, be obsessed with... and make myself feel just AWFUL because I don't have superpowers to make everything super-duper great for everybody. (When I'm really struggling, I suspect this tendency of mine is a distraction I use to keep myself from doing all the things on my "should" and "want to" list...)
It's like housework - 5 minutes after I've got everything spotless, a cat barfs... or the dog drags in something from the yard... or hubby's printed out a stack of paper to "share" with me... or the other cat is playing pinball in the house, trying to catch the last bug we let in.
It's always SOMETHING.
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ain't it the truth?!
Good enough:
to feel good
to be satisfied with how much I accomplish in one day
to feel "allowed" to take a day off to play, do absolutely nothing productive, or just do nothing - and enjoy it!
to feel confident enough in myself to not automatically isolate myself from people
to not distrust myself and other's intentions
to remember to pat myself on the back for even microsteps of progress - no matter how far away the goal remains
to just have some fun, laugh, and love with those who are important to me...
since I can't fix what's wrong with "people", the "news", the "politics", etc... when I can't even feel important/good enough to myself to decide what to fix for dinner!
LOL... I feel so silly sometimes about how easy it is to forget this "standard operating procedure"... and the extremes I will go to, to actually SEEK OUT things to worry about, be indignant about, be obsessed with... and make myself feel just AWFUL because I don't have superpowers to make everything super-duper great for everybody. (When I'm really struggling, I suspect this tendency of mine is a distraction I use to keep myself from doing all the things on my "should" and "want to" list...)
It's like housework - 5 minutes after I've got everything spotless, a cat barfs... or the dog drags in something from the yard... or hubby's printed out a stack of paper to "share" with me... or the other cat is playing pinball in the house, trying to catch the last bug we let in.
It's always SOMETHING.
Thanks, P.R.
It's so hard to break from the "programming" that the N's FORCED down our throats while growing up!
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checking in..........................
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This first letter sounds like the family is dealing with an N and, as usual, the advice columnists DON'T HAVE A CLUE!!!!!
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/be-careful-with-your-power-of-attorney.html
Also, recently got a private message, on FB, from one of my blood relatives on the NQueen's side of the family demanding that I call him. At first, it sounded urgent and I asked him what was going on. His response, "Oh, nothing. It's been a while since we've talked and I just want to catch up." (DUDE, that is what E-MAIL is for! :roll:) I told him that I don't make long distance calls. (I have NO desire to run up my phone bills listening to him BRAG about HIMSELF for hours.....again! I learned that lesson the hard way years ago. He's a male version of the NQueenB*tch! :P) He wanted me to give him my current number. I told him that (a) I'm busy and (b) I don't want my phone tied up as I'm expecting an important phone call. (Basically saying that HE IS NOT THAT IMPORTANT IN MY LIFE!) I have NO desire to deal with him because he has a nasty habit of talking down to me and treating me as if I'm mentally retarded plus making sexual inuendos with the "excuse" of "but they do it in West Virginia, hee-hee-hee!" (What part of the word "NO" do you NOT understand, BUTTHEAD?!?!?!?") Essentially, the ONLY time he CONDESCENDS to speak to me is when HE WANTS SOMETHING that benefits ONLY HIM! (I'm NOT interested in the sick family games!)
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Bones, I think you might like this:
So I get the "opportunity" to go to the food bank as part of my weekly living-my-life routine at this point.
There is a line that is outside and people have to queue up for around 60 minutes or so give or take a few. Even if it's raining or I have also been out there in the snow. Generally it's not something people enjoy but you know they do it.
After I had been standing for quite a long time and was very slowly inching towards the entrance door of the food bank a man came and got in line right in front of me. I stood there for a few seconds thinking to myself "Okay so what if I say something to him about it or what if I say nothing". I decided to say to him "I don't know where you are supposed to be in line but I know that you haven't been standing in front of me for the past hour". Of course he started arguing with me, he even told me that I wasn't being polite to him. He started getting all puffy chested and had this cocky physical posture like "I'm a man". He had all these trendy tattoos on his neck. I just thought to myself "this guy is a snotty arrogant male-bar-fly".
I'm generally mousy and quiet but really have been trying to get over it. Figure this is a good chance to work on my skills.
He was arguing so much that the guy in front of him said come on man "It's only the foodbank, you don't have to get angry"
People just start sewing out words that don't matter and don't make sense...as if they can talk their way through anything.
My blood was starting to boil a little but I was going to let it go because in the end it's not worth it somehow I always feel like I'm the one responsible for creating the issue if I try to stand up for myself. We got up to the place where a female volunteer checks the person in so they cant go through multiple times. When it was his turn to check in ahead of me he started up the argument again trying to explain to the woman why he should be in line in front of me. Now I was going to let it go but since he brought it up again--I responded verbally. (not feeling voiceless now)
So another guy volunteer came over trying to be a mediator, I just stood my ground stating that the guy who cut in front of me hadn't been around at all and the man that I had been standing behind the whole time confirmed the same thing.
The guy who cut in front of me finally said something indignant "HE just couldn't take it anymore". All the while he was the person causing the problem and getting pissed off about it. He said he was going home and he left!! He was trying to say that he had been to the food bank hours earlier that morning. I didn't care because he's an adult he is still responsible for holding his own place in line. All of this just because he didn't want to go stand at the end.
So the mediator that works at the food bank was saying to the guy as he was walking away that he didn't want him to leave because "he wants to make sure everybody gets the food". Then the food bank worker looked at me and tried to explain that "some of the people we serve here have emotional problems". I looked at him right in the eyes and I said "I have emotional problems also".
The worker looked at me for a brief second like he really "saw me" then he walked away exasperated and with a slight smile on his face.
The female worker who checks people in just cracked up laughing. She politely checked me in as usual smiling the whole time.
I guess I was supposed to act like the reasonable, mature, responsible, classy, understanding, mild-mannered, NICE adult and let the jerk cut in front of me because he has "emotional problems".
He wasn't developmentally delayed or anything. He actually was smelling like alcohol and according to him he drove there.
It's really petty but I have to admit I felt pretty triumphant. I think this is what it must feel for Narcissistic people who somehow know how to push buttons and pull strings and always get their way.
I actually feel like I have to get in touch with my inner 2 year old to be able to even try to stand up to people when they do this sort of stuff. The little girl that can say "MINE". Not the adult part that somehow has come to believe that nothing is "MINE".
In the end it's related to self - protection. The one that says I belong here and I have a right to fight as much as everybody else does. I wish I had understood this years ago.
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Bones, I think you might like this:
So I get the "opportunity" to go to the food bank as part of my weekly living-my-life routine at this point.
There is a line that is outside and people have to queue up for around 60 minutes or so give or take a few. Even if it's raining or I have also been out there in the snow. Generally it's not something people enjoy but you know they do it.
After I had been standing for quite a long time and was very slowly inching towards the entrance door of the food bank a man came and got in line right in front of me. I stood there for a few seconds thinking to myself "Okay so what if I say something to him about it or what if I say nothing". I decided to say to him "I don't know where you are supposed to be in line but I know that you haven't been standing in front of me for the past hour". Of course he started arguing with me, he even told me that I wasn't being polite to him.
I'm generally mousy and quiet but really have been trying to get over it. Figure this is a good chance to work on my skills.
He was arguing so much that the guy in front of him said come on man "It's only the foodbank, you don't have to get angry"
I was going to let it go because in the end it's not worth it somehow I always feel like I'm the one responsible for creating the issue if I try to stand up for myself. We got up to the place where a female volunteer checks the person in so they cant go through multiple times. When it was his turn to check in ahead of me he started up the argument again trying to explain to the woman why he should be in line in front of me. Now I was going to let it go but since he brought it up again--I responded.
So another guy volunteer came over trying to be a mediator, I just stood my ground stating that the guy who cut in front of me hadn't been around at all and the man that I had been standing behind the whole time confirmed the same thing.
The guy who cut in front of me finally said something indignant like HE just couldn't take it anymore. All the while he was the person causing problem and getting pissed off about it. He said he was going home and he left!! He also smelled like alcohol. He was trying to say that he had been to the food bank hours earlier that morning. I didn't care because he's an adult he is still responsible for holding his own place in line. All of this just because he didn't want to go stand at the end.
So the mediator that works at the food bank was saying to the guy as he was walking away that he didn't want him to leave because "he wants to make sure everybody gets the food". Then the food bank worker looked at me and tried to explain that "some of the people we serve here have emotional problems". I looked at him right in the eyes and I said "I have emotional problems also".
The worker looked at me for a brief second like he really "saw me" then he walked away exasperated.
The female worker who checks people in just cracked up laughing.
I guess I was supposed to act like the reasonable, mature, responsible, classy, understanding, mild-mannered, NICE adult and let the jerk cut in front of me because he has "emotional problems".
He wasn't developmentally delayed or anything. He actually was smelling like alcohol and according to him he drove there.
It's really petty but I have to admit I felt pretty triumphant. I think this is what it must feel for Narcissistic people who somehow know how to push buttons and pull strings and always get their way.
Bravo and Brava, Starlight!!!! That is FANTASTIC that you asserted yourself!!!! I'm so proud of you!!!! WAY TO GO!!!!! YIPPEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I know it's funny right! He cut in front of me after I had been waiting an hour and then he was telling me that I'm impolite for pointing it out to him!!!
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I know it's funny right! He cut in front of me after I had been waiting an hour and then he was telling me that I'm impolite for pointing it out to him!!!
:D Sounds like what an N would do!
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I don't think I will EVER understand the politicians on the LOCAL level in my community!!! :?
Last night, I was attending a meeting where several constituents were expressing concerns about slumlords and other criminal elements taking advantage of loopholes in the law to conduct illegal and dangerous activities. These constituents were asking the local community politicians about how to address these issues and close the loopholes. Instead of answering this constituent's direct question about a situation happening in his neighborhood, the politician responds with: "I wouldn't use the word 'loophole'. That is not the correct word!"
ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!? :shock: Here is a constituent describing what he is seeing on his street, in his neighborhood, in his community, raising concerns and asking what can be done to address this BEFORE it gets any worse and all the politician wants to do is scold for "not being politically correct" and play word games instead?!?!?!? WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?
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Today's Dear Margo seems to be about quite a few N's:
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/you-do-not-have-to-answer-every-question-that-is-asked.html
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It's really petty but I have to admit I felt pretty triumphant. I think this is what it must feel for Narcissistic people who somehow know how to push buttons and pull strings and always get their way.
I actually feel like I have to get in touch with my inner 2 year old to be able to even try to stand up to people when they do this sort of stuff. The little girl that can say "MINE". Not the adult part that somehow has come to believe that nothing is "MINE".
In the end it's related to self - protection. The one that says I belong here and I have a right to fight as much as everybody else does. I wish I had understood this years ago.
Yay!!! Star, this is GOOD. It's the basic chunk of understanding - the platform to build a great structure on. It's also a PITA while you're going through it - because you don't want to be accused of "starting something", just because you spoke up for what's right and yourself. Sounds like you're doing really well. I know, if it weren't for me learning how/when to let inner 2 yr old say "mine"... a lot of people would currently be taking advantage of me and I'd be miserable. (At least for the moment, I can pretend no one is taking advantage of me - I don't know that for a fact! LOL....)
One thing though. You're right, I think, that Ns are kinda addicted to always winning - and then lording that over everyone else and bragging about it. But to feel this yourself - when you worked for it, even when you had the support of others like in this situation - is really OK. I think we have to learn to allow ourselves that feeling; enjoy it in the moment; without equating ourselves with the Ns of the world. We're really not like them, just because we're capable of those feelings -- it doesn't mean we think we're more perfect and that everyone else is less than. That's a propaganda type of brainwashing idea; my mom used that one on me a lot. It's total BS. While Ns may not be capable of that kind of "other awareness" and putting their "win" into perspective... we certainly are.
But having that kind of "other awareness" - empathy - doesn't mean we have to always give way, excuse, make up for, fix - the people in situations who want to trample everyone else's rights or the rules of civil behavior. And there's still room in "practical tookit" for retreat, avoiding, being silent, etc. We just don't want to always use the same tool for every situation... and the real trick is learning which tool is called for... "in the moment"... in that situation. I'm still figuring that out...
Pardon the interruption Bones! Now, about that political correctness...
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It's really petty but I have to admit I felt pretty triumphant. I think this is what it must feel for Narcissistic people who somehow know how to push buttons and pull strings and always get their way.
I actually feel like I have to get in touch with my inner 2 year old to be able to even try to stand up to people when they do this sort of stuff. The little girl that can say "MINE". Not the adult part that somehow has come to believe that nothing is "MINE".
In the end it's related to self - protection. The one that says I belong here and I have a right to fight as much as everybody else does. I wish I had understood this years ago.
Yay!!! Star, this is GOOD. It's the basic chunk of understanding - the platform to build a great structure on. It's also a PITA while you're going through it - because you don't want to be accused of "starting something", just because you spoke up for what's right and yourself. Sounds like you're doing really well. I know, if it weren't for me learning how/when to let inner 2 yr old say "mine"... a lot of people would currently be taking advantage of me and I'd be miserable. (At least for the moment, I can pretend no one is taking advantage of me - I don't know that for a fact! LOL....)
One thing though. You're right, I think, that Ns are kinda addicted to always winning - and then lording that over everyone else and bragging about it. But to feel this yourself - when you worked for it, even when you had the support of others like in this situation - is really OK. I think we have to learn to allow ourselves that feeling; enjoy it in the moment; without equating ourselves with the Ns of the world. We're really not like them, just because we're capable of those feelings -- it doesn't mean we think we're more perfect and that everyone else is less than. That's a propaganda type of brainwashing idea; my mom used that one on me a lot. It's total BS. While Ns may not be capable of that kind of "other awareness" and putting their "win" into perspective... we certainly are.
But having that kind of "other awareness" - empathy - doesn't mean we have to always give way, excuse, make up for, fix - the people in situations who want to trample everyone else's rights or the rules of civil behavior. And there's still room in "practical tookit" for retreat, avoiding, being silent, etc. We just don't want to always use the same tool for every situation... and the real trick is learning which tool is called for... "in the moment"... in that situation. I'm still figuring that out...
Pardon the interruption Bones! Now, about that political correctness...
Thanks, P.R.
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"I wouldn't use the word 'loophole'. That is not the correct word!"
Bonesy, you know what this is, don't you? This is the game of "he who controls the definition, controls absolutely". It's also a self-delusion on the part of the speaker. There used to be a saying (pardon my French): If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with bullshit.
And underneath all of that bluster, is a whole lot insecurity, an abyss of no real solutions/creativity/knowledge or skills - a clinging to status quo as if it will save him/her and fear that change, compromise, and a quasi-belief that seeing another's point of view is always "bad" -- is always "losing" -- is the same thing as being weak or not having "power". (Power is commonly misunderstood, to my way of thinking). You're going to hear a whole lot more like this over the next 6 months (from both "sides"... sigh... why do we have to have sides?? uuuggghhhhhh..... can't we just talk about ideas without an "us" and "them"???)
There's a technique that might be useful to you, Bones. It takes a lot of practice, and some courage, and a whole lotta persistence. But you'll have the opportunity to practice, if you're getting involved in local politics. When these types of things come up - it's useful to speak up, and restate the original speaker's "problem" or "request" in purely mechanical, functional, or process-oriented terms. (remove as many of the personal, david vs goliath, us & them words as possible). Then, ask what result is desired or needed. Then restate the issue, the goal again. That's the beginning of an action plan. Yeah, this is difficult. Sometimes, the words just start coming out of my mouth before I know I know what I'm saying. Sometimes it dawns on me - like I can "see" exactly how to get through to the people deflecting, dismissing or discounting an issue presented to them. Sometimes it takes me a month or so, too! And I have to repeat myself, over & over... and then one day, lo & behold, it comes out of someone elses' mouth - as their idea. I don't care as long as the idea has "traction", is practical, simple and benefits the majority of people.
And it's taken way longer than that and hours-long discussions with my "other side of the aisle" hairdresser to begin to really digest and understand (so that I can say it) what the deal is with reinventing definitions - and why. I really didn't want to believe that this is really what was going on... but yeah, sad to say, it is. Hype, propaganda... it's no different than what we were so conscious of in the 60s and early 70s. It only SEEMS worse - because it's everywhere in all the media - and there are so many imitators and parrots and people yelling about things that really don't even need to be contentious or debatable! Except -- there are egos on the line.
My new "hobby"... is finding ways to discover areas of agreement in the ideas and helping the other side see that they don't "lose" anything by agreeing. One person at a time. But sometimes, you have to pry the cold, dead, incorrect (and I can prove it) ideas from their not willing to exert their thinking-muscle minds...
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"I wouldn't use the word 'loophole'. That is not the correct word!"
Bonesy, you know what this is, don't you? This is the game of "he who controls the definition, controls absolutely". It's also a self-delusion on the part of the speaker. There used to be a saying (pardon my French): If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with bullshit.
And underneath all of that bluster, is a whole lot insecurity, an abyss of no real solutions/creativity/knowledge or skills - a clinging to status quo as if it will save him/her and fear that change, compromise, and a quasi-belief that seeing another's point of view is always "bad" -- is always "losing" -- is the same thing as being weak or not having "power". (Power is commonly misunderstood, to my way of thinking). You're going to hear a whole lot more like this over the next 6 months (from both "sides"... sigh... why do we have to have sides?? uuuggghhhhhh..... can't we just talk about ideas without an "us" and "them"???)
There's a technique that might be useful to you, Bones. It takes a lot of practice, and some courage, and a whole lotta persistence. But you'll have the opportunity to practice, if you're getting involved in local politics. When these types of things come up - it's useful to speak up, and restate the original speaker's "problem" or "request" in purely mechanical, functional, or process-oriented terms. (remove as many of the personal, david vs goliath, us & them words as possible). Then, ask what result is desired or needed. Then restate the issue, the goal again. That's the beginning of an action plan. Yeah, this is difficult. Sometimes, the words just start coming out of my mouth before I know I know what I'm saying. Sometimes it dawns on me - like I can "see" exactly how to get through to the people deflecting, dismissing or discounting an issue presented to them. Sometimes it takes me a month or so, too! And I have to repeat myself, over & over... and then one day, lo & behold, it comes out of someone elses' mouth - as their idea. I don't care as long as the idea has "traction", is practical, simple and benefits the majority of people.
And it's taken way longer than that and hours-long discussions with my "other side of the aisle" hairdresser to begin to really digest and understand (so that I can say it) what the deal is with reinventing definitions - and why. I really didn't want to believe that this is really what was going on... but yeah, sad to say, it is. Hype, propaganda... it's no different than what we were so conscious of in the 60s and early 70s. It only SEEMS worse - because it's everywhere in all the media - and there are so many imitators and parrots and people yelling about things that really don't even need to be contentious or debatable! Except -- there are egos on the line.
My new "hobby"... is finding ways to discover areas of agreement in the ideas and helping the other side see that they don't "lose" anything by agreeing. One person at a time. But sometimes, you have to pry the cold, dead, incorrect (and I can prove it) ideas from their not willing to exert their thinking-muscle minds...
Thanks, P.R.
I was so aggravated last night at what I witnessed that I was speechless!! I'm sure my facial expression said it all!! Thankfully, the person who was speaking up about the problem defended his use of the term: "loophole" and repeated to the politician that the definition of "loophole" FITS what is going on in his neighborhood and that the "loophole" NEEDS TO BE CLOSED! PERIOD!!!!!
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I happened to catch the tail-end of this last night:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KcesZ9os4LI
And the mother was NOT happy when Judge Toler supported the daughter-plaintiff in divorcing her alcoholic mother. Judge Toler went so far as to tell the mother that she had NO right to do what she did to a CHILD!
YAY, Judge Toler!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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The last letter in today's "Dear Abby" sounds OH SO FAMILIAR!!!!
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120505
Unfortunately, I don't think Abby gets it about what this letter writer has been dealing with all his life with her!
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Just a few of my pet peeves:
(1) I'm VERY aware of my physical limitations so please permit me to putter in the Community Garden AT MY OWN PACE! Don't bug me about being slow.
(2) Don't tell me it doesn't matter how I plant things then go behind me and rip up everything I've done because it's NOT according to the way YOU like it!
(3) When I need to stop and catch my breath, don't nag me to get right on something that very red-hot second!
(4) Don't tell me to plant something according to a written plan then suddenly change your mind about it after I've done the work! I don't like having my time and sweat wasted!
I'm just feeling tired and bitchy right now!!!!!!
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It's a full moon.
It's slow on the board.
It's cold outside here.
I feel b*tchy also.
Oh, Bones, Someone showed me how to do needle felting a couple of weeks ago. Gave me a needle to do it with. I started making funny little dolls. Then I got sort of burned out on it because it takes a long time. One of them is a guy with a bluish green beard and a dark green hat. I was trying to make them look like gnomes. Oh, one is like a red fox but sort of looks more like a bear and I made wings for it but haven't sewed them on. I like making stuff but I don't really have a lot of interest in the finished product. Once I've figured it out I sort of need to move on.
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Thanks, Starlight.
I just got home a little while ago from participating in a CERT Olympics where I was playing a disaster victim...moulage make-up, etc. (I told the make-up artists to have fun and just go for it and they had a ball making me look gross!) Each team that was being tested were supposed to do a head-to-toe assessment on each victim they find in the scenario and they were supposed to discover the open compound fracture that was hidden under my shirt sleeve. Almost every team missed it because they refused to look at it after I gave them several blatant clues! (It was a good teaching moment after the scenario was finished.) At one point, I encountered one inDUHvidual who persisted in behaving like an absolute TOTAL IDIOT even though he was being tasked to respond as a member of CERT.
No matter what instructions the team leader was giving him, he would REFUSE! To make matters worse, he kept trying to force everyone in the scenario to focus only on him because he was convinced he's a comedian! :? Finally, while still playing the role of injured victim, I asked him, point blank: "What are you doing here? If you are not going to follow the instructions of your team leader, WHY are you here?" He just snickered and proclaimed that he doesn't do anything. I used my being in character to tell him that (a) he's an idiotic moron and (b) GET OUTTA MY FACE! He continued to do the opposite of what the team leader instructed him to do until the team leader finally got fed up with him and threw him out!
I commented about whether or not this guy was deliberately putting on an act e.g. refusing to put on protective gear, being oppositional to the team leader, behaving like a buffoon and interfering with everyone else. The other members told me: "Oh no! This is NOT an act! He's been acting out that way since the moment he arrived this morning!" I told them I have a diagnosis for that idiot.....Narcissistic Personality Disorder! Their response? "YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I also told them that if anyone has taken a picture of him behaving the way he was, then the caption should read: "EPIC FAIL!"
GEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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You are one tough cookie.
Bones, that's really cool that you take your time out to help these people practice. It sounds like most people wouldn't want to depend on having someone like that guy respond to a real emergency situation. I'm not sure that every person who is socially challenged is Narcissistic but GOSH, people...sheesh.... I think about how odd people behave as far as interacting with one-another.
I had an old coworker/friend for 10 years- she insisted that people are really getting stranger and stranger, don't know how to just be "normal" act socially normal.
I'm not sure what the problem is but I think people are just going nuts. Road rage etc.
I know I feel nuts but I wouldn't interfere with something serious like CERT.
Hey! Did you get photographs of you in all your make up? You could send them out for Halloween cards. :)
Bones, I bet he was "implanted" as part of the CERT Olympic testing. Probably they want people to be ready for distractions and confusions and people just behaving oddly and irrationally because you know that is an element in real emergency situations, people are confused and scared and maybe a CERT person responding to a real situation would encounter people acting randomly.
Maybe they are testing people's ability to stay focused under all conditions.
Do you think maybe he could have been an implanted(not sure what term to use) distraction?
Glad he was kicked off either way.
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You are one tough cookie.
Bones, that's really cool that you take your time out to help these people practice. It sounds like most people wouldn't want to depend on having someone like that guy respond to a real emergency situation. I'm not sure that every person who is socially challenged is Narcissistic but GOSH, people...sheesh.... I think about how odd people behave as far as interacting with one-another.
I had an old coworker/friend for 10 years- she insisted that people are really getting stranger and stranger, don't know how to just be "normal" act socially normal.
I'm not sure what the problem is but I think people are just going nuts. Road rage etc.
I know I feel nuts but I wouldn't interfere with something serious like CERT.
Hey! Did you get photographs of you in all your make up? You could send them out for Halloween cards. :)
Bones, I bet he was "implanted" as part of the CERT Olympic testing. Probably they want people to be ready for distractions and confusions and people just behaving oddly and irrationally because you know that is an element in real emergency situations, people are confused and scared and maybe a CERT person responding to a real situation would encounter people acting randomly.
Maybe they are testing people's ability to stay focused under all conditions.
Do you think maybe he could have been an implanted(not sure what term to use) distraction?
Glad he was kicked off either way.
Thanks, Starlight. I asked those specific questions and was told that he acts SELF-ABSORBED and SELF-CENTERED ALL THE TIME and brags how IMPORTANT he is! It's gotten to the point that others cringe as soon as he arrives because he starts demanding that everyone stop what they are doing and focus ONLY ON HIM! (He reminds me of a male version of Hyacinth Bucket of "Keeping Up Appearances".) So, no, he was not a "plant", unfortunately. It just made me question the reason(s) why he would show up for CERT trainings and drills if he was going to do nothing else except being an obstacle no matter what while being convinced, in his own mind, that he's hysterically funny and demands a laugh-track for everything he does. He's the type of "ambulance chaser" that would make any emergency situation worse. If anyone deserves to be BANNED from everything, that would be him!
There were pictures taken. I don't know how long it will be before the pictures are shared on various CERT websites.
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Doing some thinking and will post later if things develop further......................
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just checking in.....................
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Feeling out of sorts because every where I turn....Internet, grocery store, driving down the street past shopping malls, TV.....there are commercials and advertisements for Mother's Day! UGH!!! :P
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checking in..........................
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Today's Dear Prudence is thought-provoking!
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2012/05/dear_prudie_mother_s_day_advice_on_plastic_surgery_gifts_and_poison_.html
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And once again the Annies are CLUELESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :P
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/momma-s-gonna-miss-you.html
I've noticed that the "Below the Line" comments have completely stopped.
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Yesterday afternoon, on Judge Judy, a plaintiff was suing her ex-husband for her half of the tax return that he took. (They were still married when they filed and separated shortly afterward but he snatched the entire refund.) Turns out that he was paying only a token amount of court-ordered child support, for two young children still in diapers, that amounted to TWO DOLLARS PER DAY PER CHILD! (THAT DOESN'T EVEN COVER THE COST OF DIAPERS LET ALONE FOOD!) Then the defendant ex-husband tried to flip the script claiming that his ex-wife OWED HIM for EVERYTHING he gave her for the children! (The children's mother has physical custody.) He also made matters worse when he commented that he chose to move out of state to follow his new girlfriend plus admitted that he was in arrears with his child support!
And he had the nerve to wonder why Judge Judy wiped the floor with his dead-beat lead-ass!! :evil:
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8)
Today a woman at the bus stop told me that she was going to give herself a mother's day present.
Could go to the store and admire all of the mother's day flowers and then pick yourself out a bunch of pink and yellow tulips or?
Could bake yerself brownies.
Could go out for pepperoni pizza.
Could call it Bones Day.
Pick out new earrings day.
Could just call it library day and browse cool books.
Could call it junk food library movie day.
Call it go to the movie theater day.
Could call it apple pancake day.
Garlic bread day.
Could call it picnic day.
Museum day.
Do something different day.
Hamburger day. Hot-dog day.
Public garden, Peanut butter and jelly and box of chocolate milk day.
Salami day. Fried pork skin day.
Concert day.
Watch construction workers day.
Try a new recipe day.
Take pictures of interesting things day.
Stay-cation day.
Grilled cheese and tomato soup day.
Bubble bath day.
Feed the birds day.
Go to the zoo/aquarium day.
Go to a lecture day.
Egg roll day.
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Thanks, Starlight.
Green Man Festival is taking place and I'm planning on going to that.
BTW, when I read "Dear Abby" this morning:
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120511
It sounds like the brother is the NGCB and his parents don't care what he does to his sisters. NParents and NGCBs like that make me SICK! :P
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Today's "Dear Abby" seems to be dealing with some N's:
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120512
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Looks like "Dear Margo" is also dealing with some N's as well:
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/people-don-t-have-to-quot-get-over-quot-everything.html
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I find it interesting that the "Annie's Mailbox" no longer has "Below-the-Line" comments, which were often MUCH WISER than the two idiots!
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/it-s-all-fun-and-games-until-somebody-gets-hurt.html
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Bones - Did you see this one? The second one is about an N Mother who is so enmeshed with the Dad that being NC w/ Mom likely means relationship with Dad will be strained too. Reading the article - I found something to be grateful for - I loved my Dad alot, he was a wonderful man, and I was always on good terms with my Dad until he died in 2000. I did not discover my mom was N until 2008/2009 and did not go NC until 2010, so he never knew about it and it never affected our relationship.
Anyway, thanks for your posts Bones. Hope you are doing good today.
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Bones - Did you see this one? The second one is about an N Mother who is so enmeshed with the Dad that being NC w/ Mom likely means relationship with Dad will be strained too. Reading the article - I found something to be grateful for - I loved my Dad alot, he was a wonderful man, and I was always on good terms with my Dad until he died in 2000. I did not discover my mom was N until 2008/2009 and did not go NC until 2010, so he never knew about it and it never affected our relationship.
Anyway, thanks for your posts Bones. Hope you are doing good today.
Thanks, Ales2.
Which advice column are you referring to? Since I read several everyday, I'm having some difficulty remembering which one has the enmeshment discussion.
Thanks, again.
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Hi Bones - Sorry forgot to post the link.
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/you-do-not-have-to-answer-every-question-that-is-asked.html
Its the second story here although the first one is good too. You've probably already seen it.
Happy NWombDonor Day Bones. I feel just the same about my NMother.
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Hi Bones - Sorry forgot to post the link.
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/you-do-not-have-to-answer-every-question-that-is-asked.html
Its the second story here although the first one is good too. You've probably already seen it.
Happy NWombDonor Day Bones. I feel just the same about my NMother.
Thanks, Ales2. Now I remember the letter. If the LW2 could contact any one us here, s/he would find plenty of company! We GET IT!!! Been there, done that.
Just got home a little while ago from the Green Man Festival weekend and managed to enjoy myself. Participated in a couple of drum circles and, today, I decided to honor my African-American/African ancestors by wearing an outfit that was actually made in Africa. (Bought it some years ago from an African co-worker before I retired.) I also wore silk flowers in my hair to celebrate Spring. Needless to say, I got a LOT of reactions!!! Some LOVED the outfit and I enjoyed the compliments. Others HATED it and/or made snarky comments. I shrugged those off and walked away. I knew why I chose what I wore and that's all that mattered between me and my ancestors. Nuff said!
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having trouble sleeping.................
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Sleepy Time Tea
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Sleepy Time Tea
Having digestive issues due to eating something that doesn't agree with me.
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:(Canned Barley soup, oatmeal, rice.
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:(Canned Barley soup, oatmeal, rice.
Thanks!
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Yeah, here is more: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BRAT_diet (The BRAT diet)
Barley and oatmeal aren't on there though, they are both supposed to be soothing to the lining of the stomach intestines.
Also it's the temporary exclusion of other things like acidic orange juice/coffee.
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Yeah, here is more: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BRAT_diet (The BRAT diet)
Barley and oatmeal aren't on there though, they are both supposed to be soothing to the lining of the stomach intestines.
Also it's the temporary exclusion of other things like acidic orange juice/coffee.
Okay.
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One of the drawbacks of attending community festivities is that sooner or later I'm going to encounter a DRUNK! While I was dancing to the music of a live band, one woman got within INCHES of my face and I received a substantial blast of alcohol-laden breath! EEWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!! YUCK!!!!!!! I couldn't back away immediately because of the crush of people behind me and on either side of me! :P
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checking in..................
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Some of the questions discussed here are something else!
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2012/05/dear_prudie_my_boyfriend_has_a_mannequin_named_barbara_that_he_kisses_and_talks_to_.html
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One of the drawbacks of attending community festivities is that sooner or later I'm going to encounter a DRUNK! While I was dancing to the music of a live band, one woman got within INCHES of my face and I received a substantial blast of alcohol-laden breath! EEWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!! YUCK!!!!!!! I couldn't back away immediately because of the crush of people behind me and on either side of me! :P
:) I had no idea you were so wild Bones. What kind of music?
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One of the drawbacks of attending community festivities is that sooner or later I'm going to encounter a DRUNK! While I was dancing to the music of a live band, one woman got within INCHES of my face and I received a substantial blast of alcohol-laden breath! EEWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!! YUCK!!!!!!! I couldn't back away immediately because of the crush of people behind me and on either side of me! :P
:) I had no idea you were so wild Bones. What kind of music?
It was a live band that played an eclectic selection of music...some Beatles, some music they composed themselves, interesting instruments like dulcimer, Chapman Stick, and Congo Drums.
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Cool, around 11:30 PM, there were some young people having a house party broadcasting yodeling over a loud sound system could hear it from blocks away :D
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Cool, around 11:30 PM, there were some young people having a house party broadcasting yodeling over a loud sound system could hear it from blocks away :D
A house party? A HOUSE PARTY?? Broadcasting yodeling over a loud sound system that could be heard blocks away at 11:30 PM?!?!?!?!? That must have drove the neighbors NUTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :shock:
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2012/05/dear_prudie_my_mom_let_me_play_with_her_breasts_for_years_now_she_s_doing_it_to_my_sister_.html
One word......EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :P
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checking in.......................................
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Sounds familiar.....
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/when-you-live-on-a-one-way-street.html
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WHOA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/the-sinister-side-of-wardrobe-control.html
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With the HOA stuff, I'm still on a learning curve. One of the things I've picked up on is that I'm going to have to force my voice to be heard as property management tends to talk over people while trying to force what THEY want!
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Checking in......................................
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Excuse me but shouldn't this guy KNOW how to use a raincoat?!?!?!?!?
http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/man-fathered-30-kids-needs-break-child-support-140439765.html
I mean....REALLY?!?!?!?!?!?!?
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As some of you may be aware, I've been dealing with a bit of a roller-coaster ride since I got elected to the HOA Board. I had to assert myself when the newly-appointed HOA president attempted to force me into a private meeting with him and property management....a meeting that I never asked for. When I declined the "offer", he sent me a nasty e-mail demanding whether or not I was questioning his abilities. I told him that I choose to decline the "offer" of this private meeting.
This evening, when I got home from having an evening out with friends, I discover an e-mail from this newly-appointed HOA president resigning from everything effective immediately. (This is not the first time he has quit.) It appears that if anyone dares disagree with him, he picks up his marbles and goes home to sulk. I couldn't help but notice, over the years, that his attitude seems to be: "His way or no way."
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About the guy with the 30 some kids... I think the women are also to blame - alot! If they dont know that he already has other children and baby mamas, they should and choose more carefully. That said, there are also plenty of women out there who know most marriages dont last. alimony is only a given after a certain number of years, but child support, if you can get it, is at least 18 years and for some that can be enough. Takes two - and I dont know why any self respecting woman would want a deadbeat, unless he lied to them about his daddy-status.
But in general, Bones, I do agree with you - get a vasectomy or wear a raincoat!
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About the guy with the 30 some kids... I think the women are also to blame - alot! If they dont know that he already has other children and baby mamas, they should and choose more carefully. That said, there are also plenty of women out there who know most marriages dont last. alimony is only a given after a certain number of years, but child support, if you can get it, is at least 18 years and for some that can be enough. Takes two - and I dont know why any self respecting woman would want a deadbeat, unless he lied to them about his daddy-status.
But in general, Bones, I do agree with you - get a vasectomy or wear a raincoat!
Granted, the Baby-Mamas have done stupid stuff with this deadbeat. I can't throw stones as I know how easily it can happen....especially if he targets women who have grown up in situations similar to mine and the women are looking for Parmach in all the wrong places. It's knowing that what this deadbeat is doing is DELIBERATE that frosts me!
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As some of you may be aware, I've been dealing with a bit of a roller-coaster ride since I got elected to the HOA Board. I had to assert myself when the newly-appointed HOA president attempted to force me into a private meeting with him and property management....a meeting that I never asked for. When I declined the "offer", he sent me a nasty e-mail demanding whether or not I was questioning his abilities. I told him that I choose to decline the "offer" of this private meeting.
This evening, when I got home from having an evening out with friends, I discover an e-mail from this newly-appointed HOA president resigning from everything effective immediately. (This is not the first time he has quit.) It appears that if anyone dares disagree with him, he picks up his marbles and goes home to sulk. I couldn't help but notice, over the years, that his attitude seems to be: "His way or no way."
To clarify what I meant by newly-appointed....he was appointed to the Board, by the Board members, not elected by the home owners, in order to fill a vacancy left by a former member who moved out of state. These same Board members who appointed him to the Board also appointed him as the new Board president.
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The first letter in today's "Dear Abby" seems to be describing the "Mother-in-law from Hell" even though she has not become the "Mother-in-law" yet! We've heard of "Bride-zillas before. What would be the adjective for this future "Mother-in-law" who seems to be attempting to take over the bridal shower?
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120521
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Just checking in.....
I watched the final episode of "House" last night and just when I thought he was a Total N, the plot twist turned EVERYTHING on its head! :shock:
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As some of you may be aware, I've been dealing with a bit of a roller-coaster ride since I got elected to the HOA Board. I had to assert myself when the newly-appointed HOA president attempted to force me into a private meeting with him and property management....a meeting that I never asked for. When I declined the "offer", he sent me a nasty e-mail demanding whether or not I was questioning his abilities. I told him that I choose to decline the "offer" of this private meeting.
This evening, when I got home from having an evening out with friends, I discover an e-mail from this newly-appointed HOA president resigning from everything effective immediately. (This is not the first time he has quit.) It appears that if anyone dares disagree with him, he picks up his marbles and goes home to sulk. I couldn't help but notice, over the years, that his attitude seems to be: "His way or no way."
To clarify what I meant by newly-appointed....he was appointed to the Board, by the Board members, not elected by the home owners, in order to fill a vacancy left by a former member who moved out of state. These same Board members who appointed him to the Board also appointed him as the new Board president.
I've had one other person send me an e-mail suggesting I should "suck up" to this individual and persuade him not to quit. I don't see the point in "sucking up" to anyone, when it's insincere in the first place plus given the fact that my asking questions is not going to stop. My questioning authority is what set off the quitting snit to begin with.
When someone says to me: "I order!!! You obey!!! Don't ask any questions!!!!" My response will be: "I don't think so! I'm nobody's slave and I have the right to ask questions...especially when it involves a financial impact on me!" "Sucking up" is NOT going to resolve that!
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I'm right there with you Bones. Freedom of information is important - not being able to ask questions - or be given false or misleading answers is worth standing up for. You are doing the right thing - trick is doing it in a constructive manner. He sounds terrible, the ones I dislike the most are the ones where I feel I have to strategize with - when I have to do that with someone, the interaction will have to be worth it - and if I can simply walk away I will. I prefer to be assertive and be myself, my people pleasing or acquiescing days are over. Within reason, if someone doesnt like me, I simply walk away and say thank you universe.
Hang in there - HOA is one of those situations its hard to just walk away from.
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I'm right there with you Bones. Freedom of information is important - not being able to ask questions - or be given false or misleading answers is worth standing up for. You are doing the right thing - trick is doing it in a constructive manner. He sounds terrible, the ones I dislike the most are the ones where I feel I have to strategize with - when I have to do that with someone, the interaction will have to be worth it - and if I can simply walk away I will. I prefer to be assertive and be myself, my people pleasing or acquiescing days are over. Within reason, if someone doesnt like me, I simply walk away and say thank you universe.
Hang in there - HOA is one of those situations its hard to just walk away from.
Thanks, Ales2. In this case, it not only impacts me financially, it impacts all the homeowners financially. Those who voted for me told me that they are sick and tired of property management acting as if they own us and rule us instead of being the employees they actually are. Since I'm representing the homeowners, I need to listen and bring those concerns to the Board and fight for what's right....not get "blown off" and told to give blind, unquestioning obedience to property management.
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For a bit of fun this morning:
http://mashable.com/2012/05/23/googles-moog-doodle-the-inside-story/
Today is the birthday of the inventor of the Moog Synthesizer and when you go to www.google.com, we get to play with an online version of the instrument!!!
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Today's "Dear Abby" sounds familiar:
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120524
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And once again, the "Annie's" DON'T GET IT!!!!
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/the-long-trip-to-tenuous.html
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Just got an e-mail from property management. Looks like more HOA drama is on the way. Sigh!! :P
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checking in.......................
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It's a long weekend and finding constructive things to do to keep busy.
Went to the Archives yesterday to do genealogy to my heart's content! :D
The pool opens today and the temperature is supposed to go into the 90's so I'm looking forward to getting into the pool!
Seeing some former classmates tonight at a nearby cafe' that will be featuring LIVE music!!
Checking out the wildlife that is around here including a turtle nest that is nearby.
Maybe take more naps if I feel like it.
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Pay it forward:
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120527
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checking in.......................
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checking in......................
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Sounds like the LW1 is dealing with an NBitch and her Co-NBrother!
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/collaring-catty-kate.html
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checking in.......................
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Feeling out of sorts and my weight is climbing back up.................... :(
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(((((((((((((((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))))))))
Thanks for your support on my other post. I'm sending good, calorie free things your way. :)
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(((((((((((((((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))))))))
Thanks for your support on my other post. I'm sending good, calorie free things your way. :)
Thanks, Ales2.
I've been trying to get outside more and walk around. I think it's the stress that's doing this.
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While reading the first letter in today's "Dear Abby", I don't blame the letter-writer for wanting either NO CONTACT, if not LOW CONTACT. The N made her choice back when her children were young and didn't care how it impacted them and continued to ignore them as they became adults. NOW that the N is experiencing the consequences of her decision(s), she wants to condescend and "grace" her abandoned daughter with her Npresence? If I were that daughter, I'd probably respond: "NO, B*TCH, I don't think so! You couldn't be bothered to be there when my sister and I needed you. You couldn't be bothered to come to the wedding. I DON'T NEED YOU NOW so F*** OFF!"
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120601
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In reading the second letter in "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/facebook-flirting-with-danger.html
I think that "bride-to-be" is EXTREMELY RUDE and has a lot of CHUTZPAH to make a demand like THAT! With "friends" like that, who needs enemies?
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checking in after we had a hellacious storm yesterday which included tornado warnings. There's a bit of a mess to clean up now.
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Did you see the tornado?
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Not personally, no. There was a tornado nearby that someone took a picture of and sent to the local TV station. That was TOO CLOSE for comfort!
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Checking in...............................
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I'm trying to remember if I mentioned anything about the Daughters of the American Revolution while doing my genealogy or not.
I'm still trying to find that thread.
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I'm also taking another risk in stepping outside of my comfort zone.
In working on my genealogy, it's sunk into my little pea-brain that one of my ancestors was a soldier in the American Revolution....making me eligible for the DAR. I remember being told, by the N's in the family, that I would NEVER be accepted anywhere because I'm the "wrong color", (I'm part African-American). I also remember that decades ago, the DAR refused to permit Marian Anderson to perform in Constitution Hall because of her race. Time has changed all that, (me and other African-Americans have performed on the stage at Constitution Hall in 1976), and the DAR website clearly states that it will not discriminate on the basis of race. The only requirement for membership is being a direct descendant of a Patriot that is provable.
I've made some inquiries about the possibility of joining a chapter near my home and, at the same time, I AM TERRIFIED!
Found the thread I was looking for!
I have an update to this.....the Registrar of the local DAR Chapter contacted me and we scheduled a meeting at the local library yesterday. I got there first, waiting nervously, and half-expecting to see an older WHITE lady. When I heard my name being called in hushed tones, I turned around and spotted the DAR tote bag first, then I looked at the lady......she was MY age and is BIRACIAL JUST LIKE ME!!!!! :shock: :D WOO-HOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Yeah, I can't imagine this day and age that they would exclude you--internet says they started having black members in the 70's.
Bones, how do you do your genealogy research? Can you do this without speaking very much to your relatives about it? Do you have to go around paying for birth and funeral and marriage records? I found that a lot of this stuff is like a fee for service.
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Yeah, I can't imagine this day and age that they would exclude you--internet says they started having black members in the 70's.
Bones, how do you do your genealogy research? Can you do this without speaking very much to your relatives about it? Do you have to go around paying for birth and funeral and marriage records? I found that a lot of this stuff is like a fee for service.
Thanks, Starlight.
While I was meeting with the DAR representative, we talked about the "Marian Anderson" situation and I learned that decades before that happened, there was an actual DAR member who was fully African-American! The DAR members who discriminated against Marian Anderson ignored that fact.
Regarding my own genealogy, I didn't bother discussing it with my NFOO because all I got was a boat-load of B.S. lies. I was able to find the truth by researching in the National Archives. (I live within commuting distance so it's not too difficult to get there.) When I need birth certificates, marriage certificates, and death certificates....yes, that can get expensive. Most of the ancestors were alive before these documents were issued so I can't get those. In those cases, I have to depend on Census records to provide some of the information. If I'm able to locate the burial sites, I can get copies of the burial records and, yes, cemeteries charge for that as well. (I've found intriguing mysteries that way that I've managed to solve occasionally.) It's a FASCINATING job to have!
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8)
What sort of mysteries?
I've often wanted to research my family history but didn't know how to get started-- don't really wish to talk to my relatives about it--huh which sounds pretty weird! I don't really even know how or when they came to the U.S.
It would be fun to know something about the generations that I never met though. I guess without verbal stories being passed down it's impossible to know. I think about how a lot of women did some kind of thing but it wasn't always proper work. There would be no way to find out what women did, what their lives were like.
I wish I could just google my SS# and the computer could just spit it all out for me. I bet the CIA can do that.
Calling the CIA might be easier than doing the research myself. They probably have a computer program that does that in a matter of seconds.
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8)
What sort of mysteries?
I've often wanted to research my family history but didn't know how to get started-- don't really wish to talk to my relatives about it--huh which sounds pretty weird! I don't really even know how or when they came to the U.S.
It would be fun to know something about the generations that I never met though. I guess without verbal stories being passed down it's impossible to know. I think about how a lot of women did some kind of thing but it wasn't always proper work. There would be no way to find out what women did, what their lives were like.
I wish I could just google my SS# and the computer could just spit it all out for me. I bet the CIA can do that.
Calling the CIA might be easier than doing the research myself. They probably have a computer program that does that in a matter of seconds.
One mystery I stumbled across was a German man who was buried in an unmarked grave in the maternal ancestors' family plot back in the 1890s. No one had a clue who he was or how he was related. To add to the mystery, his German name had been mangled by the cemetery so it took a while to find the correct name. Then, based on the Internet search on his family name, I found a phone number of some people in my home state and did a random "cold call". Turns out my "find" was their "brick wall"! :shock: We compared genealogy notes and I continued my search on him. I was able to find out some information on him through the city directories, including the name of his wife/widow but not a whole lot. I joined several genealogy forums and posted what I found on those forums.
Fast forward a few years and I received an e-mail from a total stranger asking me if I knew who (name) was and I recognized that name immediately.....it was the name of my maternal great-great-grandmother! Turns out that my maternal great-great-grandmother had gotten pregnant by another man, while still married to my great-great-grandfather, and she had a daughter who was given the SAME NAME as the mystery man's wife/widow!!!! Further digging confirmed what my gut-level instinct was telling me.....the mystery man was my half-great-uncle by marriage and the people I had contacted with my random "cold call" were my distant cousins!!!! I also discovered that one of those distant cousins had connections to where I used to work!!!!! Now what are the odds of THAT happening?!?!?!?
To answer your question, there are ways to research your family tree without having to deal with dysfunctional, idiotic relatives....which is what I've done. I simply started with myself and worked backward....researching Census records and city directories to see where the research would lead me.
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Hey Bones, on the geneology topic...
What do you do when you get back to the Civil War eras? I was trying to get back to an emigration point for hubs' family, but ran into one of those brick walls in the 1860s, in NC. They didn't keep great records out in the sticks, but there is an annual reunion of like 4 families and they don't really go back any further than I was able to get, either. The curiosity about this came up during conversation with a family friend from Yorkshire, England who said there were "family name" in a nearby village. Hubs is odd because both his mom & dad had the same family name -- yet were in no way related. (Tho' I tease him about this...)
My mom's family is easy; we had community history (mennonite) and I even found Ellis Island records and a picture of the boat my great-grandfather came across in. My Dad's family is a dead-end after his Dad. The name was researched to Swedish origins - but his Dad was supposedly black Irish (and both my Dad and I had the red hair/freckles recessive gene). He died young of an appendix rupture. (so the story goes, anyway) I have 1 picture of him. Makes me think that side of the family was Vikings... which would explain SOOO much, you know??
LOL.
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Hey Bones, on the geneology topic...
What do you do when you get back to the Civil War eras? I was trying to get back to an emigration point for hubs' family, but ran into one of those brick walls in the 1860s, in NC. They didn't keep great records out in the sticks, but there is an annual reunion of like 4 families and they don't really go back any further than I was able to get, either. The curiosity about this came up during conversation with a family friend from Yorkshire, England who said there were "family name" in a nearby village. Hubs is odd because both his mom & dad had the same family name -- yet were in no way related. (Tho' I tease him about this...)
My mom's family is easy; we had community history (mennonite) and I even found Ellis Island records and a picture of the boat my great-grandfather came across in. My Dad's family is a dead-end after his Dad. The name was researched to Swedish origins - but his Dad was supposedly black Irish (and both my Dad and I had the red hair/freckles recessive gene). He died young of an appendix rupture. (so the story goes, anyway) I have 1 picture of him. Makes me think that side of the family was Vikings... which would explain SOOO much, you know??
LOL.
Hi, P.R.!
In response to your question, I'll need to look to refresh my memory. Off the top of my head, the port of entry, before Ellis Island opened was Castle Garden. There may have been other ports of entry during the 1860's that I have to research. Also, there might be a possibility that many of the North Carolina records were lost during the Civil War. I'll do a bit more "digging" to see what I can find out.
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Hi, again, P.R.
Here's some information I found:
http://www.genesearch.com/ports.html
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Before there was all this computerized and SS number stuff etc. on occasion family records would be intentionally destroyed for political reasons etc.
It's all sort of interesting how many people are combined over and over again for hundreds of years to end up with the one person now looking backwards.
Last night I found my Grandmother's death record here: https://familysearch.org/
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Before there was all this computerized and SS number stuff etc. on occasion family records would be intentionally destroyed for political reasons etc.
It's all sort of interesting how many people are combined over and over again for hundreds of years to end up with the one person now looking backwards.
Last night I found my Grandmother's death record here: https://familysearch.org/
It's fascinating how it all happens...especially the mysteries that crop up from time to time.
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checking in..................
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You sort of made me curious and inspired- so I spent the past evening doing the google thing of census records, death info etc.
Thankfully one of my father's distant cousins in Missouri has a wife who was trying to look up ancestry and had a specific name of a town from the "old country". She had more info than I have but it seems I'm a better sleuth.
I was able to trace my grandmothers family on my father's side backwards to where my great, great, great grandfather was born in 1823 before they came to the United States.
I love some of those old fashioned women's names. I wonder how much more info I could find out beyond just doing the google thing.
It seems that the verbal history is indispensable though. Some people are born in one country and then live in another then migrate somewhere else. It's hard to figure out just by papers. It also seems like it gets tricky when crossing out of english speaking areas.
One woman who was trying to research her family history found out that her family had been rounded up by communists along with other people and into a barn that was set on fire. People in the town confirmed it for her.
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You sort of made me curious and inspired- so I spent the past evening doing the google thing of census records, death info etc.
Thankfully one of my father's distant cousins in Missouri has a wife who was trying to look up ancestry and had a specific name of a town from the "old country". She had more info than I have but it seems I'm a better sleuth.
I was able to trace my grandmothers family on my father's side backwards to where my great, great, great grandfather was born in 1823 before they came to the United States.
I love some of those old fashioned women's names. I wonder how much more info I could find out beyond just doing the google thing.
It seems that the verbal history is indispensable though. Some people are born in one country and then live in another then migrate somewhere else. It's hard to figure out just by papers. It also seems like it gets tricky when crossing out of english speaking areas.
One woman who was trying to research her family history found out that her family had been rounded up by communists along with other people and into a barn that was set on fire. People in the town confirmed it for her.
Wow, Starlight!!!!
Isn't it amazing what you can find?
One of the other things that I do is join various online genealogy forums where I can compare notes and ask questions. Brainstorming ideas often come up this way.
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Yeah, I guess I needed a new thing to fixate on.
I stayed up all night obsessing some more and pouring over details--just cleared up some more specific information. Where the cemeteries are and even found a church record. One thing led to another and in an old vandalized cemetery in St. Louis there is the grave of my great-great-great grandparents. The church that was associated with the grave for some reason had some documents translated into English--What a stroke of luck! It pointed back to their "homeland" so I was able to confirm the details of what my father's cousin had heard word of mouth. I had no clue my relatives came from that area-I googled it to see what it looks like. This may be the end of my research though unless I learn a foreign language and do some international traveling. Pretty cool because I wasn't sure if I would even get that far.
I kept on looking at the Ellis Island records but couldn't find the passenger records--there were a bunch of ports of entry though besides Ellis Island so I may still find some records somehow. I'm hoping that eventually I can figure more about the passage details.
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Yeah, I guess I needed a new thing to fixate on.
I stayed up all night obsessing some more and pouring over details--just cleared up some more specific information. Where the cemeteries are and even found a church record. One thing led to another and in an old vandalized cemetery in St. Louis there is the grave of my great-great-great grandparents. The church that was associated with the grave for some reason had some documents translated into English--What a stroke of luck! It pointed back to their "homeland" so I was able to confirm the details of what my father's cousin had heard word of mouth. I had no clue my relatives came from that area-I googled it to see what it looks like. This may be the end of my research though unless I learn a foreign language and do some international traveling. Pretty cool because I wasn't sure if I would even get that far.
I kept on looking at the Ellis Island records but couldn't find the passenger records--there were a bunch of ports of entry though besides Ellis Island so I may still find some records somehow. I'm hoping that eventually I can figure more about the passage details.
It's amazing what you can find out!!! Who knows, you might find an online genealogy group that specializes in that particular homeland.
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Been busy all day and have another busy day tomorrow.
Once I get rested up, I can talk more.
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How many of us can relate to the first letter in "Annie's Mailbox" today?
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/managing-despite-manipulative-parents.html
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Participated in a CERT Disaster Drill as a "victim" covered in moulage. This experience was really cool because smoke machines were used to simulate the aftermath of a bomb blast and everyone from CERT responders to campus police to actual ambulances were involved with the drill. Excellent learning experiences for all!
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checking in......................................
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Over the weekend, I did encounter one know-it-all-N who was hell-bent on forcing me to do what SHE wanted after I told her NO several times!!!
One of the rules that was emphasized, repeatedly, was: "Do NOT bring another victim to the disaster!" This means do NOT put yourself or anyone else in harm's way if they are not already injured....either pretend or in real life. An example was with the use of the cloth stretchers that have SIX hand-holds on them...THREE to a side....it is designed that way for a reason and it REQUIRES SIX PEOPLE to use it! We all practiced with them the day before the exercise and were reminded, repeatedly, that SIX PEOPLE ARE REQUIRED TO USE THEM! During the disaster scenario, two people attempted to ignore that instruction and started to pick up a victim laying on one of the cloth stretchers. Those of us, nearby, stepped out of our "injured" characters and shouted: "NO! DO NOT PICK HER UP! GET FOUR OTHER RESCUERS BEFORE YOU TOUCH HER! OTHERWISE YOU WILL HURT HER AND YOURSELVES REAL WORLD!!!!!" The "would-be-rescuers" got the message and recruited four others to assist them.
I was still on the ground and staying in character as a living "burn" victim when the N started cranking up her nonsense! "I'll help you up! They are not coming back! I know it all!" I tried to remind her that she is supposed to be playing "dead" and "dead" people are NOT supposed to be talking and attempting to control the scenario! (Essentially, lay down, shut up, and play dead! LEAVE ME ALONE!) I did NOT want her to touch me because (1) she does not know my real-world disabilities and could easily injure me, (2) she could easily injure herself by attempting to pick me up by herself, (3) she could easily drop me because she doesn't have the physical strength to lift me....I kept enforcing my boundaries and I could see she was PISSED OFF!!! (Too bad!)
God save me from N's!!!!!!!!
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checking in....................
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Trying to make sense of something.............
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Computer seems to be acting up this morning while trying to post anything.
The issue that has me scratching my head is why do some individuals DEMAND that self-employed provide their services for FREE when everyone is struggling to pay bills while underemployed or unemployed? I've had it done to me and, recently, I was asked to request another self-employed person to donate their services and I told the requestors that they are self-employed for a reason....it does not mean they are rich enough to do stuff for free on demand. The group has the means to get funding to pay for these services if they really want them....they just have to decide if they want to pay for one hour or more of the work. Their attitude is: "FREE is more CONVENIENT."
Not in my book! It's NOT convenient for the person doing the work!
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Remind 'em that they'll get what they pay for, Bones....
People who are self-employed are often perceived as not having a "real job" by others. This is nutz, because the self-employed do it all. Like the "Dave" character in the Staples commercials... I guess the grass looks greener: no boss, no meetings, no bean-counters, no annoying colleagues... but then, people also perceive the self-employed as taking a bigger risk. Maybe they're not, you know?
In reality, when someone takes a job with a company, one is STILL self-employed: you are trading off a few occupational hats (book-keeping, HR, insurance, taxes) to someone else for a more tightly defined list of daily job responsibilities and a paycheck.
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Remind 'em that they'll get what they pay for, Bones....
People who are self-employed are often perceived as not having a "real job" by others. This is nutz, because the self-employed do it all. Like the "Dave" character in the Staples commercials... I guess the grass looks greener: no boss, no meetings, no bean-counters, no annoying colleagues... but then, people also perceive the self-employed as taking a bigger risk. Maybe they're not, you know?
In reality, when someone takes a job with a company, one is STILL self-employed: you are trading off a few occupational hats (book-keeping, HR, insurance, taxes) to someone else for a more tightly defined list of daily job responsibilities and a paycheck.
Thanks, P.R.
It appears that those who are NOT self-employed have NO concept of how hard it is to BE self-employed.....especially in this economy! I became self-employed out of necessity because no one wanted to hire someone my age with my disabilities and the bills still needed to be paid. Others who are self-employed are probably in the same boat.....forced out of their old job, been unable to find another job, so they put their talents to work.
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Feeling out of sorts this morning and not sleeping well either.
Just got a communication, from a third party, informing me that a mutual N wants me to store her stuff in my home....indefinitely. I responded back that I WILL CHARGE STORAGE FEES as MY home is NOT free storage NOR a dumping ground for other people's stuff that they don't have room for!!! Otherwise, she could pay a public storage facility to keep her stuff! NOT my problem! (I halfway expect to get a NASTY reaction for DARING to DEFY the N's ORDERS!)
Then I get another e-mail from someone I saw in passing Monday evening while I was sitting in a committee meeting. The new co-chair of Monday's committee reminded this other individual, as she walked by, that the committee she is on was scheduled to meet on Wednesday evening, (last night). This other individual acknowledged the date and time of this other committee meeting and walked on while I waved good-bye and turned back to the meeting. She didn't show up for the committee meeting last night. She e-mailed me this morning accusing me of telling her it was next Tuesday! :shock: We had not seen each other since she walked by on Monday and it was the co-chair/chair of both committees that reminded her.....not me!
What is wrong with this picture? :?
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checking in.......................
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Does the letter about "Sharon" sound familiar:
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/a-moment-of-silence-for-sharon.html
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checking in........................................
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I'm feeling a bit frustrated this morning.
I know I'm anal retentive about a lot of details to the extent that I drive people CRAZY with questions. With my home-based business, one of the things I obsess about is making sure I get the contract RIGHT so that there is NO question about a meeting of the minds! (After watching the various TV court shows involving contract cases, I try to learn from those mistakes and avoid those headaches.)
I just received an inquiry asking me if I could research an ancestor in a relatively large state....no dates, no city, and the family name is so numerous that there could be BILLIONS and ZILLIONS of people with that name! I sent the person a first draft of my proposed contract and requested that this person please read it and assist me with additional information because some Census records are NOT indexed by name, which requires that I know the city and state the ancestor lived in at a given time. Otherwise, they would be paying me an hourly rate for wandering in circles and finding NOTHING if I don't have the information I need to narrow down where I need to search.
This morning, I receive an e-mail response from the person making the inquiry and this person clearly has NOT read the contract! This person is attempting to act on the assumption that I work at a flat-rate and that only $100.00 will cover EVERYTHING! I wrote back with a polite request that this person read the contract and to please answer the questions I still have before I can finalize anything.
I don't understand people who do this kind of stuff!
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checking in while recovering from a physically strenuous weekend. I need to get out more as I need to exercise. Sitting alone for hours is not good.
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here...............
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Sounds painfully familiar:
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/redefining-family.html
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Bones, when you were talking about genealogy before I hadn't realized that you did this as a home business. That's very resourceful and creative of you.
That is such a cool job!
Do you ever watch that Brad Meltzers Decoded show on the History channel? I love it!
I think he has written some books also but I haven't read them.
It kind of reminds me of what you do.
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Bones, when you were talking about genealogy before I hadn't realized that you did this as a home business. That's very resourceful and creative of you.
That is such a cool job!
Do you ever watch that Brad Meltzers Decoded show on the History channel? I love it!
I think he has written some books also but I haven't read them.
It kind of reminds me of what you do.
Thanks, Starlight!
This is the type of work that I LOVE to do as I can't get enough of genealogy! Unfortunately, I don't have cable so I'm unable to watch the History Channel or many other programs for that matter. Ever since the changeover to digital, I lost the ability to watch several shows.
The only drawback to my work is when I encounter someone who gives me extremely little information and then expects me to find what they want. When I was forced to play the "20 Questions Game" to try and narrow down which enumeration district to search for within a city and state 10-year Census record, the person responded to me with: "I was affording you the courtesy of giving you my answer....." (WTF?!?!? Does this person have ANY idea HOW MANY enumeration districts EXIST within a given state?!?!? Not all Census records are indexed by name which means I have to know the approximate Enumeration District to search.)
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Sounds familiar:
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/broken-family-ties.html
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http://bradmeltzer.com/novels.aspx
Well, yeah, that is a little weird about the client not giving you as much info as they could to spur you on. Well, you might just have to decline that client. ?
Maybe the person really thought they were being polite or something? One can never tell Bones, "Affording you the courtesy"....maybe the client in some really odd way thought it was rude to say too much to you? It doesn't make sense. Yeah, scratch my head on that one.
It occurs to me that a person could try to dig dirt on another person by looking up genealogy on another persons family. I wonder if that ever happens.
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http://bradmeltzer.com/novels.aspx
Well, yeah, that is a little weird about the client not giving you as much info as they could to spur you on. Well, you might just have to decline that client. ?
Maybe the person really thought they were being polite or something? One can never tell Bones, "Affording you the courtesy"....maybe the client in some really odd way thought it was rude to say too much to you? It doesn't make sense. Yeah, scratch my head on that one.
It occurs to me that a person could try to dig dirt on another person by looking up genealogy on another persons family. I wonder if that ever happens.
Thanks, Starlight!
I got the impression that the potential client was annoyed because I was asking so many questions. I kept trying to explain why I need to ask these questions if I'm going to have any luck in finding anything. This person won't be the first client that I would decline. I had another potential client that also forced me to play the "20 Questions game" and kept responding to me with answers so vague that they were telling me NOTHING! I finally lost my patience and bluntly stated that if they were willing to pay me several thousands of dollars due to searching several thousands of hours in circles, without any information, given my hourly rate then I would include that in the proposed contract. That's when this other individual FINALLY disclosed that they wanted me to search the Census records, at the U.S. National Archives, for an ancestor that had NEVER lived in this country!!!! The ancestor lived and died in a foreign country and I have absolutely NO WAY to go there and research! When I explained why I cannot find another country's Census records in our National Archives, this individual's reaction was basically: "Duh......why not?" That's when I realized that I will occasionally encounter idiots who just don't have a clue!
As for digging dirt on another person through genealogy........any "dirt" is usually ancient history so it wouldn't make any difference.
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If you send them a report that states: "Based on the information I have received about your family.....this is what I have discovered:"
Then just tell them that they are a distant half removed 10th cousin of Kim Kardashian's boyfriend.
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If you send them a report that states: "Based on the information I have received about your family.....this is what I have discovered:"
Then just tell them that they are a distant half removed 10th cousin of Kim Kardashian's boyfriend.
Or ex-husband, which could be a mixed blessing.....LOL!
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Today's "Dear Abby" seems to feel painfully familiar:
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120621
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I thought I'd share this as I had an opportunity to make my voice HEARD last night during a meeting.
One of the topics of discussion, during the HOA meeting, was the issue of cigarette butts being dumped near the doorways of various condo buildings...indicating that smokers were leaving their messes behind after they were done. Property management was suggesting the installation of cigarette urns beside the doorways of certain buildings....one of those buildings being my condo building. (I started getting the feeling of: "If you build it, they will come and congregate around those urns.") I voiced my objection based on the fact that I have only ONE way of getting to and from my condo which is through that particular doorway, I have asthma which has been triggered by second-hand smoke, and I have absolutely NO desire to be forced to constantly walk through a cloud of second-hand cigarette/cigar smoke every time I need to go out somewhere. I just don't want to have a repeat performance of landing in the emergency room on a nebulizer again, thank you very much! (I had that happen when I was working and had to walk through a cloud of second-hand smoke, from smokers congregating around a cigarette urn, to get to and from work every day until my asthma got so bad that I had to seek medical attention. That is EXPENSIVE!)
I offered a compromise of setting up a designated smoking area AWAY from the building doorways so that the smokers can smoke to their hearts' content and I can reduce my risk of asthma attacks. That got countered with: "But that's inconvenient to the smokers!" I shot back: "Being in the emergency room, again, is INCONVENIENT TOO!" That's when property management announced that they were going to forget the idea of installing the urns.
I also noticed, out of the corner of my eye, that one of the other board members was looking VERY uncomfortable and was staying VERY QUIET, which is normally NOT his style. (He lives in my building and I know he is a smoker.) He just had this guilty look on his face which made me wonder if HE was the source of that mess by my building's doorway. If the mess mysteriously stops, then that would mean HE got the message.
It felt good that, for once, I was listened to and had my voice HEARD!
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I also couldn't help but notice that it was PROPERTY MANAGEMENT that came up with this idea and NOT the homeowners. According to our Bylaws, that is NOT the way the system is supposed to work. I've also noticed that whenever any homeowner disagreed with what the president of property management was saying, he would cut them off in mid-sentence and continued to talk over them until the homeowner shut down!
Does that communication pattern sound line a Nar-Communication style?
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Reading this invoked memories of the NQueen pulling this kind of crap!
http://www.creators.com/advice/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/motherly-shove.html
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Today's "Dear Margo":
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/a-skunk-is-a-skunk-is-a-skunk.html
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120624
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Some of the responses from the "Annies" seem stupid to me:
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/must-you-see-it-to-believe-it.html
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Hi Bones!!!
I'm trying to get caught up, but I wanted to say hi anyway... just - hi!!!!!!
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Hi Bones!!!
I'm trying to get caught up, but I wanted to say hi anyway... just - hi!!!!!!
Thanks, P.R.!
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Any comments on today's "Dear Abby"?
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120625
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/holding-grandchildren-hostage.html
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Just wanted to send you a hug, (((((Bones))))))
Hops
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Just wanted to send you a hug, (((((Bones))))))
Hops
Thanks, ((((((((((((((((((((((((Hops))))))))))))))))))))
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Can't sleep.
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120628
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I just received a brochure in the mail from a company known as PESI regarding a workshop titled: "Emotional Manipulators & Codependents: Understanding the Attraction". The description inside the brochure specifically mentions Borderline, Narcissistic, and Antisocial Personality Disorders. I'm going to check out the website at: www.pesi.com to see if I can post a more detailed description from that rather than try to type it out word-for-word from the brochure.
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Here's a link that gives a more detailed description of the seminar on Emotional Manipulators & Codependents:
http://www.pesi.com/bookstore/Emotional_Manipulators_and_Codependents__Understanding_the_Attraction-details.aspx
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120629
I don't know which is worse....an NQueen who attempts to sabotage every single relationship their children embark on or attempts to have an "arranged dating" similar to an "arranged marriage" here in the US! :P
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Hey Bones! Are you OK?
I was going to bed and saw the storm that rolled through.... just checkin on all my peeps in that area!
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Hey Bones! Are you OK?
I was going to bed and saw the storm that rolled through.... just checkin on all my peeps in that area!
Hi, P.R.
I'm OK. I'm using WiFi at a nearby restaurant because my Internet has been knocked out. I have lights, but no Internet. I was hearing the wind last night and it was EERIE!! I'm in the process of contacting other CERT members to get an assessment of what the damage looks like in my area.
In the meantime, I'm posting today's "Dear Abby". Sounds like the letter writer is dealing with an N:
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120630
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What do you think of today's "Dear Margo"?
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/of-blood-and-turnips.html
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Just got an e-mail a little while ago from a fellow club member kvetching that his air conditioning is not working today due to last night's storm. For several sentences he complained that he doesn't like to sweat, he's uncomfortable, and the same old song of "Me, Me, Me!" I have very little patience this morning after seeing the storm damage around my area and responded with: "Be grateful that your roof wasn't torn off last night!" Some residences lost roofs either due to the wind ripping them off, collapsing, or having large trees thrown onto them. Some people DIED last night as a direct result of the storm throwing trees onto where they were! And this dude wants to complain because he has to sweat?!?!? Be grateful he is ALIVE to sweat!!!! GEEZ!!!!!!
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Glad to hear you're OK. I've had a quite a few folks to check on. STAY AS COOL AS YOU CAN! The heat will break sooner or later.
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Bones? No power yet?
I've heard some of the suburbs are starting to get power; haven't checked in w/Baltimore for a day. Didn't want to drain her cell phone.
Did it cool off there, like it did here last night? Pretty bad when 90 sounds "cool", huh?
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Bones? No power yet?
I've heard some of the suburbs are starting to get power; haven't checked in w/Baltimore for a day. Didn't want to drain her cell phone.
Did it cool off there, like it did here last night? Pretty bad when 90 sounds "cool", huh?
Thanks, P.R.
The electricity kept fluctuating with the power company turning it on, then off, then on, then off again. Drove my neighbors nuts and they were either banging on my door or calling my cellphone asking me what was going on and why. As it turned out, several members of my CERT group were called out for deployment and I was one of the team. This was my very first experience working in an actual Emergency Operations Center. I had studied it, in theory, when I was taking classes to become qualified to do this and now I had the opportunity to actually see it in action. My team helped to answer the phones to refer storm victims to various resources nearby.
One caller did NOT like the answer she was getting and kept calling back in the hope of getting the answer she wanted. (Never happened.) She called in to inform us that a tree had fallen onto her vehicle and it was completely totaled. Unfortunately, she only had liability insurance on it and she also made it a point to tell us she is a renter, not a home owner. Then she demanded that she be given restitution for her totaled vehicle! :shock: :? (Huh? *Scratches head*) It was explained that the EOC is unable to provide that kind of assistance. She did NOT like that answer and demanded to speak to someone higher up! (At the time she called, all of the higher ups were in the midst of a conference call with other officials across the state to coordinate what needed to be done next for this emergency.) The first CERT member informed her of this meeting and that she would get a call back as soon as this meeting concluded. She did NOT like that answer either as she demanded IMMEDIATE RESTITUTION! She hangs up and immediately redials, hoping to get a different person with the answer she wanted. That's when the second CERT member picked up the phone and had to give her the same answer as the first CERT member. (We were all sitting together, taking turns answering the one phone so that no one would get burnt out and we could brainstorm possible solutions to this one headache.) Needless to say, the caller did NOT like the answer she got from the second CERT member and DEMANDED that we pull the supervisor out of the meeting IMMEDIATELY because she was entitled to an answer NOW! :? :? The second CERT member calmly explained, again, that the supervisor could not be interrupted and that she would get a return call as soon as the meeting was over. She hangs up and immediately calls back a THIRD time and I was the lucky one to get her. (By then, I had become familiar with her scenario and recognized the call as soon as she started up with me.) I told her to "please hold while I consult with other emergency workers", which placated her temporarily, and CERT member number two picked up the phone and explained, AGAIN, that she would get a call back as soon as the meeting concluded. About a minute after that call, our supervisor returned and we filled him in on what was going on with this one caller. (I did not envy his having to call her back as I knew that she was NOT going to like the answer she was going to get......the EOC is NOT in a position to GIVE her a NEW vehicle for free! She gambled with purchasing only liability insurance and, unfortunately, she lost the bet!) *Shakes head*
BTW, here is today's "Dear Abby". Sounds like it is themed on N's!
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120702
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Jeez. What is with some people? Entitled, entitled, entitled... and of course, they've done nothing wrong - and were obviously not taught basic etiquette or human decency either. Good on you for putting up with it - while at the same time putting out real help.
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Jeez. What is with some people? Entitled, entitled, entitled... and of course, they've done nothing wrong - and were obviously not taught basic etiquette or human decency either. Good on you for putting up with it - while at the same time putting out real help.
Thanks, P.R.
Based on my observations yesterday, everyone working in the EOC had several challenges to deal with and had to stay on an even keel while talking with difficult callers.
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checking in........
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Bones? No power yet?
I've heard some of the suburbs are starting to get power; haven't checked in w/Baltimore for a day. Didn't want to drain her cell phone.
Did it cool off there, like it did here last night? Pretty bad when 90 sounds "cool", huh?
Thanks, P.R.
The electricity kept fluctuating with the power company turning it on, then off, then on, then off again. Drove my neighbors nuts and they were either banging on my door or calling my cellphone asking me what was going on and why. As it turned out, several members of my CERT group were called out for deployment and I was one of the team. This was my very first experience working in an actual Emergency Operations Center. I had studied it, in theory, when I was taking classes to become qualified to do this and now I had the opportunity to actually see it in action. My team helped to answer the phones to refer storm victims to various resources nearby.
One caller did NOT like the answer she was getting and kept calling back in the hope of getting the answer she wanted. (Never happened.) She called in to inform us that a tree had fallen onto her vehicle and it was completely totaled. Unfortunately, she only had liability insurance on it and she also made it a point to tell us she is a renter, not a home owner. Then she demanded that she be given restitution for her totaled vehicle! :shock: :? (Huh? *Scratches head*) It was explained that the EOC is unable to provide that kind of assistance. She did NOT like that answer and demanded to speak to someone higher up! (At the time she called, all of the higher ups were in the midst of a conference call with other officials across the state to coordinate what needed to be done next for this emergency.) The first CERT member informed her of this meeting and that she would get a call back as soon as this meeting concluded. She did NOT like that answer either as she demanded IMMEDIATE RESTITUTION! She hangs up and immediately redials, hoping to get a different person with the answer she wanted. That's when the second CERT member picked up the phone and had to give her the same answer as the first CERT member. (We were all sitting together, taking turns answering the one phone so that no one would get burnt out and we could brainstorm possible solutions to this one headache.) Needless to say, the caller did NOT like the answer she got from the second CERT member and DEMANDED that we pull the supervisor out of the meeting IMMEDIATELY because she was entitled to an answer NOW! :? :? The second CERT member calmly explained, again, that the supervisor could not be interrupted and that she would get a return call as soon as the meeting was over. She hangs up and immediately calls back a THIRD time and I was the lucky one to get her. (By then, I had become familiar with her scenario and recognized the call as soon as she started up with me.) I told her to "please hold while I consult with other emergency workers", which placated her temporarily, and CERT member number two picked up the phone and explained, AGAIN, that she would get a call back as soon as the meeting concluded. About a minute after that call, our supervisor returned and we filled him in on what was going on with this one caller. (I did not envy his having to call her back as I knew that she was NOT going to like the answer she was going to get......the EOC is NOT in a position to GIVE her a NEW vehicle for free! She gambled with purchasing only liability insurance and, unfortunately, she lost the bet!) *Shakes head*
BTW, here is today's "Dear Abby". Sounds like it is themed on N's!
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120702
In the aftermath of all this mess and craziness, I learned something new! This storm that barreled through with such destruction was called a "Derecho" and that no one could predict it!!!! WHO KNEW?!?!?!?!?!?
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Well, me - as Twigs - lived through one previously in '69. As chance would have it, I fell asleep on the couch that evening and was deserted by hubs & the dog. I woke up to seeing it on the radar - knew what it was by the signature bow shape - just as it was bearing down on you & my D in Baltimore.
During the phase, when I was researching Twigs' timeline, I remembered this and researched the papers about it to clarify dates; it was July 4, 1969. At least that weekend. I'd not known about the phenomenon either, until then. It was our dog that sounded the alert - very, very anxious behavior. We drove 30 miles IN the storm - another great decision on my mom's part! LOL...
Is your power back on? Internet? My D called yesterday - that's when hers came back. Considering how widespread the damage was - this is amazingly fast!
edit in: ya know, cars were a lot better made in those days and lots heavier... otherwise driving in that storm would've scared me more than it did. We had a '63 Galaxie 500. Lots of strong sheet metal and a heavy V8.
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Well, me - as Twigs - lived through one previously in '69. As chance would have it, I fell asleep on the couch that evening and was deserted by hubs & the dog. I woke up to seeing it on the radar - knew what it was by the signature bow shape - just as it was bearing down on you & my D in Baltimore.
During the phase, when I was researching Twigs' timeline, I remembered this and researched the papers about it to clarify dates; it was July 4, 1969. At least that weekend. I'd not known about the phenomenon either, until then. It was our dog that sounded the alert - very, very anxious behavior. We drove 30 miles IN the storm - another great decision on my mom's part! LOL...
Is your power back on? Internet? My D called yesterday - that's when hers came back. Considering how widespread the damage was - this is amazingly fast!
edit in: ya know, cars were a lot better made in those days and lots heavier... otherwise driving in that storm would've scared me more than it did. We had a '63 Galaxie 500. Lots of strong sheet metal and a heavy V8.
Thanks, P.R.
There are still trucks/cherry pickers around working on street lights and wires. I have electricity for now but my Internet keeps fluctuating. I'll be connected one minute then lose it the next second. WEIRD!!!!
Listening to that wind late Friday night/early Saturday morning, my car would not have stood driving in that! Some huge trees were literally ripped out of the ground, huge root ball and all and thrown onto houses and/or vehicles!!! :shock:
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Oboy. I'll join in the storm stories...
Lost power for 2 days in town. Oh those were hot nights, but we (friend I'm staying with and I) are lucky to have the AC back on in our quiet neighborhood (about 2 miles from town). My workplace outside town lost it too--I was scheduled to work Sat. and found trees on cars in the parking lot, no power/phone/water/internet, so closed the place and worked remotely at a local coffee shop.
The area's still recovering as are so many others. A friend of a friend was killed when he went on his deck to try to get their dog in--tree fell on him. A couple other deaths locally too, from falling trees.
The first night, I slept with both windows open (they're fairly low to the ground). The next morning, a neighbor told her he'd seen a large black bear walk right past my windows...it then crossed his lawn. Wowzers. We occasionally get bears in town, I imagine the storm drove him out of the big park not far from here. (Some development there isn't helping.)
I'm going outside to look for bear hair.
love,
Hops
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Oboy. I'll join in the storm stories...
Lost power for 2 days in town. Oh those were hot nights, but we (friend I'm staying with and I) are lucky to have the AC back on in our quiet neighborhood (about 2 miles from town). My workplace outside town lost it too--I was scheduled to work Sat. and found trees on cars in the parking lot, no power/phone/water/internet, so closed the place and worked remotely at a local coffee shop.
The area's still recovering as are so many others. A friend of a friend was killed when he went on his deck to try to get their dog in--tree fell on him. A couple other deaths locally too, from falling trees.
The first night, I slept with both windows open (they're fairly low to the ground). The next morning, a neighbor told her he'd seen a large black bear walk right past my windows...it then crossed his lawn. Wowzers. We occasionally get bears in town, I imagine the storm drove him out of the big park not far from here. (Some development there isn't helping.)
I'm going outside to look for bear hair.
love,
Hops
WHOA!!!!!!! :shock:
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Out in Colorado, the bears were displaced by the fires and are trying to find food in the areas that were levelled. Most black bears aren't too aggressive... but if you see one just STOP, Hops. The bear will move on.
Glad you're OK. Those are awful awful storms.
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Out in Colorado, the bears were displaced by the fires and are trying to find food in the areas that were levelled. Most black bears aren't too aggressive... but if you see one just STOP, Hops. The bear will move on.
Glad you're OK. Those are awful awful storms.
Wild fires, Derechos, and Black Bears!!!!!
YIKES!!!!!
:shock:
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and don't forget - earthquakes too!! Poor Hops... Mama Nature's fury... then huge, exhausting, emotional changes... don't take it the wrong way, but I'm surely wishing you enough "boredom" that you have a chance to play, dance, and recover for awhile.
Bones, is it getting better up there? It STILL hasn't rained here... and we've been teased with forecast temps dropping to 88, 89... only to have them revised back up to the nineties again. Monday, the breeze was off the ocean - still hot - but it was the first day it didn't physically hurt to go outside. I'm staying in the a/c for the time being. Grocery shopping - and parking on new asphalt - yesterday sent us racing back to the house. The pool is 90+ so it's not exactly a relief either.
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and don't forget - earthquakes too!! Poor Hops... Mama Nature's fury... then huge, exhausting, emotional changes... don't take it the wrong way, but I'm surely wishing you enough "boredom" that you have a chance to play, dance, and recover for awhile.
Bones, is it getting better up there? It STILL hasn't rained here... and we've been teased with forecast temps dropping to 88, 89... only to have them revised back up to the nineties again. Monday, the breeze was off the ocean - still hot - but it was the first day it didn't physically hurt to go outside. I'm staying in the a/c for the time being. Grocery shopping - and parking on new asphalt - yesterday sent us racing back to the house. The pool is 90+ so it's not exactly a relief either.
Thanks, P.R.
Poor ((((((((((((((((Hops))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
We're still having heat advisories here even though it rained a little last night. Just taking things one day at a time.
BTW, what do you think of the second letter in "Dear Abby" today?
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120704
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Well... a person can't just go NC with everyone who's demanding or controlling in this world. But I do agree with the idea that a simple "no" can be quite powerful.
Here's the thing that bugs me: the former "doormat" is being advised to be controlling, manipulative back... which is the classic power struggle setup. No one "wins" in those - everyone loses...
Another way, is to look for a solution between the obvious choice of "either" and "or"... and try that instead. Part of me believes that my life would be glorious - a total dream - if I didn't have to maintain a connection with my brother through the business. That's a false illusion and I know it. He is still P-A and still doing wack things like asking me to go through a contract, page by page with him and tell him where to sign... but, it's not setting me off into frustrated spirals of triggered "violation" anymore (or hasn't recently). He insists on being this way... it is the way he is... for whatever reason, and I'm not going to change it. So I just change me - I take that kind of behavior off my "outrageous" list... and if I have something else to do I just tell him that means I can't be available to him, let him figure it out for himself -- or ask someone else. And it's not a trespass of any of my boundaries anymore... and it's not gasoline, either.
Am I always able to do this? NOPE, not by a long shot!! But I keep trying to remember to try this - because it's already too hot to get emotionally wound up, too.
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Well... a person can't just go NC with everyone who's demanding or controlling in this world. But I do agree with the idea that a simple "no" can be quite powerful.
Here's the thing that bugs me: the former "doormat" is being advised to be controlling, manipulative back... which is the classic power struggle setup. No one "wins" in those - everyone loses...
Another way, is to look for a solution between the obvious choice of "either" and "or"... and try that instead. Part of me believes that my life would be glorious - a total dream - if I didn't have to maintain a connection with my brother through the business. That's a false illusion and I know it. He is still P-A and still doing wack things like asking me to go through a contract, page by page with him and tell him where to sign... but, it's not setting me off into frustrated spirals of triggered "violation" anymore (or hasn't recently). He insists on being this way... it is the way he is... for whatever reason, and I'm not going to change it. So I just change me - I take that kind of behavior off my "outrageous" list... and if I have something else to do I just tell him that means I can't be available to him, let him figure it out for himself -- or ask someone else. And it's not a trespass of any of my boundaries anymore... and it's not gasoline, either.
Am I always able to do this? NOPE, not by a long shot!! But I keep trying to remember to try this - because it's already too hot to get emotionally wound up, too.
I hear ya!!
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Was I conjuring pitiful? In need of advice and instruction? Yoicks. Interweb.
I don't feel that way at all. I often respond to major weather with exhilaration*.
Heat was/is a drag but crisis also brings people together. I like nature/animals a LOT.
Climate change is a whole 'nother story. Nothing exhilarating
about that. Nor about people hurt.
I know my basic bear rules. Lived in the mountains quite far
into Appalachia -- here too, a few years. I'm a townie now but was
a mtn. girl for a good while. I've seen bears from the road now and then.
Most folks in my area who hike, are also conscious of what to do/not do.
On my uncle's farm--one swiped through the screened porch door and
walked right in while they were just behind the window eating their
oatmeal--stuffed her head into the dog food sack. They learned the
bear rules too. (Birdseed and pet food are bear magnets.)
Would've pleased me to greet the evidence of my night visitor though
I'm sad for their habitat stress.
Bones, I really liked that Abby letter. Assertiveness, whoo!
Thanks!
Hops
*Except for earthquakes.
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Was I conjuring pitiful? In need of advice and instruction? Yoicks. Interweb.
I don't feel that way at all. I often respond to major weather with exhilaration*.
Heat was/is a drag but crisis also brings people together. I like nature/animals a LOT.
Climate change is a whole 'nother story. Nothing exhilarating
about that. Nor about people hurt.
I know my basic bear rules. Lived in the mountains quite far
into Appalachia -- here too, a few years. I'm a townie now but was
a mtn. girl for a good while. I've seen bears from the road now and then.
Most folks in my area who hike, are also conscious of what to do/not do.
On my uncle's farm--one swiped through the screened porch door and
walked right in while they were just behind the window eating their
oatmeal--stuffed her head into the dog food sack. They learned the
bear rules too. (Birdseed and pet food are bear magnets.)
Would've pleased me to greet the evidence of my night visitor though
I'm sad for their habitat stress.
Bones, I really liked that Abby letter. Assertiveness, whoo!
Thanks!
Hops
*Except for earthquakes.
Thanks, Hops!
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Reading the first letter in today's "Dear Abby", I could tell the letter writer that she is NOT alone!
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120705
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Just touching base....................
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120706
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Today's "Dear Margo":
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/just-another-nutty-bride.html
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checking in..........................
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Having trouble sleeping....
Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120708
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And today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/explain-yourself-please.html
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And another from "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/selfish-or-sane.html
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120709
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/bordering-uninvited.html
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Here's a transcript from today's "Dear Prudence" Live Chat:
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2012/07/dear_prudie_i_caught_my_mother_in_law_breast_feeding_my_son_what_do_i_do_.html
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touching base.............................
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just checking in........................
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This sounds familiar:
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/mouthy-mom-requires-new-response.html
And, as usual, the "Annie's" are TOTALLY CLUELESS!!!!!! The letter-writer could get better advice here from us who have BEEN THERE!
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Their advice is particularly bad today. Why do you bother reading them? They only upset you.
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Their advice is particularly bad today. Why do you bother reading them? They only upset you.
I read the Below-the-Line comments as they seem to have more intelligence than the "Annie's". How the "Annie's" got their job, God only knows!
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Today's "Dear Margo":
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/not-everyone-is-looking-for-a-mate.html
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Today's "Dear Margo" sounds familiar:
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/time-to-accept-a-closed-door.html
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The first letter in "Annie's Mailbox" today is a DOOZIE!
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/considering-allie.html
"Allie" sounds like an N now and the parents sound like enabling co-N's who seem hell-bent on trashing, if not destroying, a wedding if it doesn't focus on Allie at ALL times at ALL costs. (This has been going on since the letter writer was TEN YEARS OLD. Now the letter writer is an adult, getting married, trying to plan a wedding with NO help from her dysfunctional FOO and getting crap.)
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As I was watching this episode on TV yesterday evening,
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0505247/
I recognized several elements of NPD in the character of Charlie Burnside....Narcissistic Supply from others, making everything about himself, displaying Narcissistic Rage when someone dared to defy him.......I think we all know the drill.
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checking in..................
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touching base..........................
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/scissors-at-the-ready.html
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checking in..........................
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Here is a much better class of advice column.
http://therumpus.net/2012/05/dear-sugar-the-rumpus-advice-column-98-monsters-and-ghosts/
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Here is a much better class of advice column.
http://therumpus.net/2012/05/dear-sugar-the-rumpus-advice-column-98-monsters-and-ghosts/
okay.......................................
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I think that "Sugar" column is absolutely breathtaking.
Thank you, Erin.
(((((((((Bones))))))))
Hops
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((((((((((((((Hops)))))))))))))))))))))
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Having the Right to Say "NO"
I've been feeling under the weather for a bit after having a mild asthma flare-up. One of the things I've learned, when dealing with health issues, is that when my body says: "REST!", I stay home and rest.
Yesterday evening, I received an e-mail from a neighbor, (not a friend, only an acquaintance), wanting me to drop what I was doing and meet "privately" with her. (She has consistently demonstrated that she cannot be trusted as she LOVES to stir up trouble and act self-important while doing so.) Rather than go into any details about my health, (which is NONE of her business), I told her I was busy and stated that whatever she wanted to discuss could easily be done via e-mail. She quickly responded with: "Never mind!"
Her Modus Operandi is to say crap to someone's face then disavow she said it later. (Can't disavow it when and if it is written in an e-mail.) I don't have time for that kind of nonsense. It feels good to practice saying "NO" when the situation calls for it.
BTW, here's today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120720
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Today's "Dear Margo":
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/unacceptable-behavior.html
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I dunno......I like Sugar better. Also, have you checked out Dan Savage? I followed his link to Sugar.
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I dunno......I like Sugar better. Also, have you checked out Dan Savage? I followed his link to Sugar.
No, I haven't.
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Here is his link. Warning---his columns are graphically sexual. But the advice is more about relationships than about actual sex, and it is usually spot-on.
http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=14208958
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Here is his link. Warning---his columns are graphically sexual. But the advice is more about relationships than about actual sex, and it is usually spot-on.
http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=14208958
I've never really got into reading other advice columns outside of the ones I've been familiar with for years.
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Having trouble sleeping so thought to check in....................................
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It seems everywhere I look, I encounter the smirking mugshot of that monster in Colorado. It just SICKENS me!
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It's an INSANE night tonight! Just got home from being out with friends and seeing police cars flying everywhere with lights and sirens going!!! Now I'm feeling agoraphobic!
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/the-sting-of-no-acknowledgment.html
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It seems everywhere I look, I encounter the smirking mugshot of that monster in Colorado. It just SICKENS me!
Yeah, I know. Hubs has been running the news channel all day... I keep flipping it to the weather channel... or running out of the room. But, you know... he doesn't fit the usual profile for a mass murderer. Or at least the news people haven't been given - and repeated, ad nauseum - that information, yet.
Did you ever find out what all the commotion in your neighborhood was last night? We finally got a good thunderstorm last night; but lots of lightning.
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It seems everywhere I look, I encounter the smirking mugshot of that monster in Colorado. It just SICKENS me!
Yeah, I know. Hubs has been running the news channel all day... I keep flipping it to the weather channel... or running out of the room. But, you know... he doesn't fit the usual profile for a mass murderer. Or at least the news people haven't been given - and repeated, ad nauseum - that information, yet.
Did you ever find out what all the commotion in your neighborhood was last night? We finally got a good thunderstorm last night; but lots of lightning.
Thanks, P.R.
I'm not sure anyone will ever know the full story of that creep in Colorado, if ever. It appears the only person who recognized something was "not right" with him was his own mother! It begs the question how long did she know and what made her know it? It's so hard to get a break away from that horror for even a few minutes. Several of my friends wanted to talk about it last night and other members of our group kept trying to change the subject. I found myself having the worst anxiety attack, with the new wrinkle of agoraphobia, I've ever had in my life and kept fighting myself to just sit with it, reminding myself that "this too shall pass". I didn't say anything to any of my friends because none of them are in the position to really understand the dynamics of what goes on with something like this. (They are mainly rocket scientists who work with numbers, not emotions.)
When I woke up this morning, the thought occurred to me that the main reason I'm feeling agoraphobic right now is that I no longer feel safe going ANYWHERE without worrying that some stupid creep is going to pull something EFFED-UP!!! I know the next wave coming is going to be anger and feeling outraged at how DARE this a$$hole destroy what he did...interfering with everyone's freedom to go to the mall, go to the movies, live in peace at home, etc. without worrying about being ambushed or your own home deliberately blown up just so this Narcissist can grab attention to himself! How EFFED-UP is THAT?!?!?!?
I'm going to check Google to see if I can find any reports of why the police were flying around last night around midnight. I told my ride, as we were pulling into the parking lot, that I'm hoping and praying that the police are not dealing with some insane a$$hole copycat! That is the LAST thing we need!!!!
I'm glad you got the rain you needed.
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Hey ((((((((((Bones))))))))))) --
When I feel triggered by events as you are, I have found a thought that helps me is:
The reality is that most of us are mostly safe most of the time.
I find that if I let that thought "run in the background", I am mostly okay.
I get panic but love the sound of your mature response to it--breathing through it and reminding yourself it will pass. That's a seasoned grownup thought. Bravo.. I think copycat events are possible but NOT a threat to "most of us most of the time".
Remember what a big country it is. And despite its violence and the craziness in the culture, remember what most people are doing. Living in peace.
I saw a wonderful film last night (Netflix with 2 friends): "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close". It's about post-911, but it's not about horrifying the viewer. More about how humans handle trauma. But it's a Tom Hanks thing...so you know, he lets the light of humanity and of life, win. It does warm you--it's a tough journey, but it's so worth seeing. The child in the film might even be a little bit Aspie. I think you might relate to this film in a very strong way, (((Bonesie)))).
Hops
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Hey ((((((((((Bones))))))))))) --
When I feel triggered by events as you are, I have found a thought that helps me is:
The reality is that most of us are mostly safe most of the time.
I find that if I let that thought "run in the background", I am mostly okay.
I get panic but love the sound of your mature response to it--breathing through it and reminding yourself it will pass. That's a seasoned grownup thought. Bravo.. I think copycat events are possible but NOT a threat to "most of us most of the time".
Remember what a big country it is. And despite its violence and the craziness in the culture, remember what most people are doing. Living in peace.
I saw a wonderful film last night (Netflix with 2 friends): "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close". It's about post-911, but it's not about horrifying the viewer. More about how humans handle trauma. But it's a Tom Hanks thing...so you know, he lets the light of humanity and of life, win. It does warm you--it's a tough journey, but it's so worth seeing. The child in the film might even be a little bit Aspie. I think you might relate to this film in a very strong way, (((Bonesie)))).
Hops
Thanks, (((((((((((((((((((((((((((Hops)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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Bones, honey...
that panic attack is the ultimate goal of terrorism (and this incident meets my definition of terrorism even tho it's only 1 person, acting alone) ... the bonus goal, is that now people fear each other more than ever, wondering who the next person will be to flip out and do something just as heinous. It's been on almost constantly in my house. It's been a feature of forums (and Facebook) too... and I'm sure the next person I chat with F2F will bring it up too. Even people I know who are rock-steady, optimistic, and usually carry-on... are talking about security and protection and contingency plans. THIS, by itself, scares me more than what happened in the theater.
SIGH!!!!!!!!
Fear is like rabies; extremely contagious and almost always fatal. BUT, the alternative - not being afraid - is to deny reality. Leaves a person wondering what to do... first: reassure yourself that you are not in immediate danger... and if you need to repeat a mantra, sit & breathe... just do it. Slow the brain down enough to catalog your surroundings and connect outward from your body to the seat you're on... the floor... the walls. Still OK. Keep going outward... until you can feel that you are in a safe zone and can move freely within it. You're OK; you're gonna be OK. It's OK.
And it's OK to be afraid, too. That's a normal, sane reaction. But the truth is that these kinds of events stick so dramatically in our collective memory we don't realize that they're relatively rare. It never seems (in the moment) that they're rare. Columbine! Is people's first association... but that was what? 10 years ago or more? Something like that anyway. These things don't happen every year; every month.
Hops is right - most of the time, most places - people are peaceful with each other and getting along (even when they have strong differences of opinion). Not everything is "political" either. Remember that the media are in the business of collecting "eyeballs"... attention... and for some reason right now, are trying to turn what is a horrible tragedy into a socio-political "issue" - which plays upon people's inner fears; could be another "threat". The media doesn't often challenge one's brain -- to think for oneself... and so overworks and manipulates our empathy... the only thing a person who is sensitive to these topics can do is TURN IT OFF.
I don't think there will be copycat incidents. HIGHLY unlikely, for a number of reasons.
I don't think you need to be suspicious of people you come in contact with -- there isn't going to be an epidemic of "crazy" all of a sudden. It's not the "zombie-pocalypse" starting. And the best thing you can do, is to simply go about your normal life with the same people you share it with. Some people deal with their fear, by talking it to death/boring/old news... some people are better off letting that all slide right on past them and while realizing it's a real thing... like a cesspool... you don't have to wade into it.
If you have to: stick your fingers in your ears and loudly chant: "la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la... I can't hear YOU..."
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Hope you can rent that movie, Bones...
hugs
Hops
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Bones, honey...
that panic attack is the ultimate goal of terrorism (and this incident meets my definition of terrorism even tho it's only 1 person, acting alone) ... the bonus goal, is that now people fear each other more than ever, wondering who the next person will be to flip out and do something just as heinous. It's been on almost constantly in my house. It's been a feature of forums (and Facebook) too... and I'm sure the next person I chat with F2F will bring it up too. Even people I know who are rock-steady, optimistic, and usually carry-on... are talking about security and protection and contingency plans. THIS, by itself, scares me more than what happened in the theater.
SIGH!!!!!!!!
Fear is like rabies; extremely contagious and almost always fatal. BUT, the alternative - not being afraid - is to deny reality. Leaves a person wondering what to do... first: reassure yourself that you are not in immediate danger... and if you need to repeat a mantra, sit & breathe... just do it. Slow the brain down enough to catalog your surroundings and connect outward from your body to the seat you're on... the floor... the walls. Still OK. Keep going outward... until you can feel that you are in a safe zone and can move freely within it. You're OK; you're gonna be OK. It's OK.
And it's OK to be afraid, too. That's a normal, sane reaction. But the truth is that these kinds of events stick so dramatically in our collective memory we don't realize that they're relatively rare. It never seems (in the moment) that they're rare. Columbine! Is people's first association... but that was what? 10 years ago or more? Something like that anyway. These things don't happen every year; every month.
Hops is right - most of the time, most places - people are peaceful with each other and getting along (even when they have strong differences of opinion). Not everything is "political" either. Remember that the media are in the business of collecting "eyeballs"... attention... and for some reason right now, are trying to turn what is a horrible tragedy into a socio-political "issue" - which plays upon people's inner fears; could be another "threat". The media doesn't often challenge one's brain -- to think for oneself... and so overworks and manipulates our empathy... the only thing a person who is sensitive to these topics can do is TURN IT OFF.
I don't think there will be copycat incidents. HIGHLY unlikely, for a number of reasons.
I don't think you need to be suspicious of people you come in contact with -- there isn't going to be an epidemic of "crazy" all of a sudden. It's not the "zombie-pocalypse" starting. And the best thing you can do, is to simply go about your normal life with the same people you share it with. Some people deal with their fear, by talking it to death/boring/old news... some people are better off letting that all slide right on past them and while realizing it's a real thing... like a cesspool... you don't have to wade into it.
If you have to: stick your fingers in your ears and loudly chant: "la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la... I can't hear YOU..."
Thanks, P.R.
At the moment, I'm starting to feel the next stage developing....anger and outrage. What triggered that so quickly was some media-IDIOT comparing this creep to Trekkies!!!!! Fans of Batman are a different group from fans of Star Trek! I'm sure the SANE fans of Batman are just as pissed off as I am for being lumped in with this EFFED-UP creep! I've been a Trekkie since the age of 14, trying to follow Spock's advice of IDIC and the vision first illustrated on television by the Great Bird of the Galaxy. I just don't see HOW this media-Idiot could lump Trekkies with this monster! I just don't get that! :P
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Hope you can rent that movie, Bones...
hugs
Hops
Right now the finances are unable to permit me that kind of disposable income to rent "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close". Maybe, someday, I can get the DVD.
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The library is bound to get it sooner or later. Also, if you keep an eye on the video store, they sell off their excess copies of hot movies around Christmastime.
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The library is bound to get it sooner or later. Also, if you keep an eye on the video store, they sell off their excess copies of hot movies around Christmastime.
Thanks, Erin.
I'm reluctant to borrow DVD's from the library anymore as the times I did, I discovered the DVD's all scratched up and useless. Whoever borrowed them before me simply didn't care to handle them properly.
I'll probably get it from Amazon when and if I'm able to afford it. Both brick-and-mortar video stores that were near me went "belly-up".
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trouble sleeping...............
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While getting into my e-mail, which includes the "front page" of "news", I noticed the ongoing debate of whether or not the Colorado Creep is really psychotic or faking because of the "glassy-eyed stare" he exhibited in the courtroom. I recognize that stare! It's the stare of an N who has been told "NO, THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOR!".
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checking in.............
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I'm thinking that only N's would behave so STUPIDLY as to walk up to another adult and PULL THEIR HAIR WITHOUT PERMISSION!!! GEEZ!!!!
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/wigged-out-over-thinning-hair.html
I've known some people who have experienced alopecia areata or lost their hair because of chemo. They are dealing with enough, as it is, without some F**KHEAD walking up to them and yanking the wig off their head while loudly announcing: "SEE?!?!? I KNEW it was FAKE!!!!" What the F**K is WRONG with people?!?!?!? Idiots like that need to be slapped!!!!
And please don't comment about how reading advice columns upset me. The point I'm trying to get across is how N's ALWAYS VIOLATE OTHERS' BOUNDARIES whether it's wearing wigs, what you eat, what you wear, what you have worked hard to accomplish, what you think, what you feel, etc. while the N looks for the opportunity to try and tear you down while calling attention to themselves and how "PERFECT" they are!
If I can't vent here, from time to time, where else can I vent?
Thank you!
I'll get off my soap-box for now.
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I like their suggested response to the wig question. Spot-on!
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I like their suggested response to the wig question. Spot-on!
I LOVED the suggestion about asking the idiot if she had implants! I was ROTFLMAO!
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checking in...................
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That's a nice community of commenters over there.
"Baldy" did well!
Thanks, Bones.
hugs
Hops
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That's a nice community of commenters over there.
"Baldy" did well!
Thanks, Bones.
hugs
Hops
You're welcome, (((((((((((((Hops)))))))))))))))))))
I think "Baldy" did well too!
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Reading today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120727
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In today's "Dear Margo":
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/in-the-top-10-of-dumb-ideas.html
I think the male sperm donor lost too many brain cells drinking, doing cocaine, and smoking weed! :P
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My husband used to think like this, too. He grew up pretty much like a weed. Now that he is a parent himself, he sings a much different tune. I think one of the commentors said something similar, and I have to agree. If they ar not divorced by the time the kid reaches his or her teens, I bet he will see things differently.
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My husband used to think like this, too. He grew up pretty much like a weed. Now that he is a parent himself, he sings a much different tune. I think one of the commentators said something similar, and I have to agree. If they are not divorced by the time the kid reaches his or her teens, I bet he will see things differently.
I would hope he would see things differently, if he has enough brain cells left to think with!
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checking in.......
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Today's "Dear Margo":
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/over-praising-children.html
I do NOT agree with Margo's advice to the last letter!
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Wrestling with PTSD.........................
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Cuppa chamomile and a virtual hug...
(((Bones))).
Sleep well, dream something warm.
xo
Hops
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Cuppa chamomile and a virtual hug...
(((Bones))).
Sleep well, dream something warm.
xo
Hops
Thanks, (((((((((((((((((((Hops)))))))))))))))))))))))))))).
Every so often, flashbacks pop up out of nowhere.
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This sounds painfully familiar:
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/cutting-ties-for-the-greater-good.html
Now that the N's are starting to attack the grandchildren, I think it's time to go NC!
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Today's "Dear Margo":
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/over-praising-children.html
I do NOT agree with Margo's advice to the last letter!
Actually, I would have suggested the same thing---that the Dad take advantage of the time to help his son learn to drive. Unless there is a fear that the mother is still drunk driving, I can't imagine what good would come of confronting her.
What would you have suggested?
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Today's "Dear Margo":
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/over-praising-children.html
I do NOT agree with Margo's advice to the last letter!
Actually, I would have suggested the same thing---that the Dad take advantage of the time to help his son learn to drive. Unless there is a fear that the mother is still drunk driving, I can't imagine what good would come of confronting her.
What would you have suggested?
Knowing what I know, I would have reported it while doing what I would have to do to protect my child. Ignoring a drunk driver does NOT solve the problem! Trust me on this!
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Came across a book from Amazon.com: "Personal Branding for Dummies". I'm still in the process of reading it.
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/follow-your-dreams-own-your-choices.html
The second letter sounds as if an N submitted it.....and the N is clearly a STUPID IDIOT!!!!!
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One of the TV channels I am able to receive for free shows programming from way back when......McHale's Navy, Leave It To Beaver, The Monkees, Adam-12, Dragnet (1969-1970),.....last night I was watching an episode of Dragnet 1970 where two police officers were being investigated for grand theft, to the tune of $800.00, from a recently deceased man. The investigation by Sgt. Joe Friday and Officer Bill Gannon was very meticulous and methodical. As it turned out, a "friend" of the deceased was the person who had actually stolen the money and attempted to implicate these two police officers. When she was confronted with the evidence of what she had done, she attempted to justify what she did because, in her own mind, she was ENTITLED. No apologies, no guilt, no remorse.
The first time I had seen this episode, years ago, there were many things I didn't understand. This time, as I was watching it again, I realized that I was watching an N in action who finally got caught by the police! The end of the episode stated that the two police officers were returned to duty with full pay, benefits, etc. There was no word on what consequences the N received.
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That's interesting. I wonder how the writers came up with that conclusion---did they study psychology, did they know somebody like that, had they heard of something like that happening?
How is the personal branding book? Sounds like something I might use for work.
As for the drunk driver mother, it seems like it was on incident that happened a long time ago, not an ongoing problem. If there was any concern that mother was STILL driving intoxicated, then by all means, CPS should have been called. But that does not seem like tie case. Hell, when I was younger, I drove drunk a few times, too. Sometimes it was sheer stupidity--spent my money , no cab fare, no one to call, no way to get back for my car in the morning, no other option and I didn't think about it until it was too late. 20 years later I know how to drink and it doesn't happen any more. IF I had got caught then, it would have no bearing on my ability to drive now. Calling the woman's drivers licence into question might cost her her job and compromise her ability to raise her kids. I would really let it be.
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That's interesting. I wonder how the writers came up with that conclusion---did they study psychology, did they know somebody like that, had they heard of something like that happening?
How is the personal branding book? Sounds like something I might use for work.
As for the drunk driver mother, it seems like it was on incident that happened a long time ago, not an ongoing problem. If there was any concern that mother was STILL driving intoxicated, then by all means, CPS should have been called. But that does not seem like tie case. Hell, when I was younger, I drove drunk a few times, too. Sometimes it was sheer stupidity--spent my money , no cab fare, no one to call, no way to get back for my car in the morning, no other option and I didn't think about it until it was too late. 20 years later I know how to drink and it doesn't happen any more. IF I had got caught then, it would have no bearing on my ability to drive now. Calling the woman's drivers licence into question might cost her her job and compromise her ability to raise her kids. I would really let it be.
I vehemently disagree!!!! I would have reported it to the DMV!
And since I'm getting pissed off, let's DROP THIS DISCUSSION!
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Its OK to disagree. It doesn't affect either one of us anyway. Like my kid says, I was just sayin'.....Just offering an opinion. It wasn't meant to be a personal stab against you, Bones, or anything else except a statement of opinion on a story in the news paper.
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Its OK to disagree. It doesn't affect either one of us anyway. Like my kid says, I was just sayin'.....Just offering an opinion. It wasn't meant to be a personal stab against you, Bones, or anything else except a statement of opinion on a story in the news paper.
Just drop it, please. Thank you.
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One of the TV channels I am able to receive for free shows programming from way back when......McHale's Navy, Leave It To Beaver, The Monkees, Adam-12, Dragnet (1969-1970),.....last night I was watching an episode of Dragnet 1970 where two police officers were being investigated for grand theft, to the tune of $800.00, from a recently deceased man. The investigation by Sgt. Joe Friday and Officer Bill Gannon was very meticulous and methodical. As it turned out, a "friend" of the deceased was the person who had actually stolen the money and attempted to implicate these two police officers. When she was confronted with the evidence of what she had done, she attempted to justify what she did because, in her own mind, she was ENTITLED. No apologies, no guilt, no remorse.
The first time I had seen this episode, years ago, there were many things I didn't understand. This time, as I was watching it again, I realized that I was watching an N in action who finally got caught by the police! The end of the episode stated that the two police officers were returned to duty with full pay, benefits, etc. There was no word on what consequences the N received.
What is even more fascinating is that every episode of Dragnet and Adam-12 are based on true stories....with the names changed to protect the innocent.
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Really......I didnt realize that.
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Really......I didnt realize that.
Yes.
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120802
The second letter regarding the writer being a victim of credit card fraud, by her own mother, tells me that the mother must be an N! I've seen situations like that show up on Judge Joe Brown and Judge Judy. Even while the judges are tearing the defendants a new a$$hole for ripping off their own children, the N's just stand there showing absolutely NO remorse and keep insisting that they are entitled to take whatever they please.
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checking in....................................
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Today's "Dear Margo":
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/when-a-sister-s-out-of-line.html
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Just got home from a Star Trek convention. One of the FUN things I encountered was watching a group of people dance the Macarena to Darth Vader's theme music! :lol:
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120806
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This sounds familiar:
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/in-love-with-the-idea-of-grandchildren.html
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Just got home from a Star Trek convention. One of the FUN things I encountered was watching a group of people dance the Macarena to Darth Vader's theme music! :lol:
One strange experience while I was at the Saturday night party......I had submitted a song request to the DJ and was standing to one side of the dance floor as I couldn't see well right away. (There's a bright light where you write down your requests and everywhere else is dark with a light show and strobes flashing about.) Given that my eyes hadn't had time to adjust to the rest of the room, I was standing still to avoid crashing into anyone who was bouncing around.
As I was standing there, waiting for my eyes to adjust, some youngster snaked her arm around my waist and commenced bumping and grinding on me! :shock: (She was fortunate that my PTSD didn't kick in, causing me to lash out blindly.) I gave her a look of: "Child! WHAT! ARE!!!! YOU!!!!! DOING?!?!?!?!?!" She laughed, asked for a "fist-bump" and stated that even working people should have fun! (I guess she assumed I was part of security because of the way I was dressed.) Then she melted into the crowd.
In 20/20 hindsight, I probably should have been flattered that someone that young found someone as old as I am attractive. At the same time, my Vulcan logic is saying: (a) I don't swing that way as I'm straight, (b) child, you are YOUNG enough to be my GRANDDAUGHTER and I don't rob cradles, (c) based on what my nose is detecting, child, you have drunk so much alcohol that you are now totally wasted, several sheets to the wind, and will probably have NO memory of any of this in the morning because you are in a blackout!
All I could do was shake my head! :?
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she liked you.
:lol:
Bones, you can't help it that you exude COOOOOOL Trekkie!
Irresistible!
xo
Hops
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she liked you.
:lol:
Bones, you can't help it that you exude COOOOOOL Trekkie!
Irresistible!
xo
Hops
ROTFLMAO!!!!!!! :lol: :lol:
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checking in........................
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/heroin-heartbreak.html
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Dealing with N's in the family is AGGRAVATING!!!!!!!
I just received an e-mail message a short while ago, typed all in caps, stating "URGENT FAMILY BUSINESS!" I got this gut-level feeling in my stomach that my last aunt, (NM's sister), has died. My phone call to this cousin confirmed what my gut was telling me. (She died early Monday morning...day before yesterday.) This cousin kept asking me how did I find out as no one else talks to me. (Maybe he just didn't get it that the ONLY time anyone condescends to talk to me is when someone has died so logic follows that it had to be the NM's last surviving sibling who had to have been either in her 80's or, possibly, early 90's.)
Had the opportunity to practice setting boundaries that will NOT be crossed. Cousin kept asking me why NGCB has cut off all communication. Responded that Cousin will have to ask HIM as I can only speculate and I will NOT discuss my speculations. (My reason, which I would not disclose, is that this particular Cousin is a male version of the NM.) Cousin tried to badger me into discussing my speculations and he got told, point blank, that I refuse to discuss ANYTHING that is NONE OF HIS BUSINESS and the discussion is OVER....PERIOD! He backed down. His N-attitude was still there. After a few more minutes, I told him I had to go and ended the conversation on my terms.
I felt good after I hung up.
I think I'm making some progress.
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Today's "At Work" column:
http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/correct-worker-with-everyone-else-is-wrong-attitude.html
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Boy, that's a sensitive cousin, Bones. (NOT.)
I'm sorry for your loss of your aunt but glad you felt clear and assertive.
Was she all-bad or are there some good memories?
xo
Hops
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Boy, that's a sensitive cousin, Bones. (NOT.)
I'm sorry for your loss of your aunt but glad you felt clear and assertive.
Was she all-bad or are there some good memories?
xo
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
I never had much interaction with this particular aunt and I have had NO communication with her children. The NCousin, that contacted me, is a child by a different, long-deceased, aunt. The only time I had any communication with the aunt who just died was when she attempted to play the dysfunctional family "game" of insisting that I am a "retard" and she got bluntly told, point blank: "GAME OVER!" I had found official documentation that the NQueen had been LYING FOR YEARS and NOW I KNOW THE TRUTH! That's when the aunt finally acknowledged that she knew about my Dad and me, (being Biracial), for years and admitted the truth about everything that the NQueen had been doing. After that conversation, she never spoke to me again.
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Today's "Dear Margo":
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/a-very-odd-way-to-leave-a-family.html
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Today's "Dear Margo":
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/quote-not-lest-ye-be-wrong.html
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120812
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Doing some thinking....................
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What part of the word "No" do N's not understand? :?
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The whole part.
:(
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The whole part.
:(
True that!
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120813
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Had a bit of a scare and I'm glad I was able to put my CERT knowledge to work to avoid a potential disaster. As the building captain, I was making the rounds when I overheard a lady arguing with some delivery guys. She asked me if I had a larger set of pliers than what the delivery guys had and I said "no". At first, I thought she was talking about the water pipes in the condo unit then realized, to my horror, that she was intent on disconnecting GAS LINES!!!!!! YIKES!!!!! :shock:
The delivery guys kept telling her that they are NOT allowed to touch anything and that they only deliver items. She kept up the argument that her daughter "paid extra" to have the old gas stove disconnected and the new one connected. I had to interrupt her argument and explain to her that the ONLY people who are PERMITTED TO TOUCH GAS LINES ARE LICENSED PLUMBERS! I told her it is a SAFETY ISSUE. She had no idea! (Thank God for CERT training!)
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120814
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/firing-the-godmother.html
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120815
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/enlist-switzerland-to-transport-the-kids.html
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120816
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I may be mistaken but I think her comments come off sounding Narcissistic:
http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nba-ball-dont-lie/vanessa-bryant-does-not-want-married-somebody-t-145906045--nba.html
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I'm still scratching my head over a recent interaction with a neighbor. :?
Our condominium development rents out the party room and kitchen to residents. Until recently, one neighbor was in charge of the key to both rooms until he quit in a snit because someone dared say the word "No" to what he wanted to dictate. He turned the key over to his next door neighbor in his condo building. We needed to use that key to access the kitchen as the community was having a pool party where everyone, who lives here, was invited. At the last minute, the neighbor who was given the key announced that she had to go out of town and would not be available to assist with the pool party. At that point, the key was handed over to me so I could continue with the pool party preparations and clean-up.
Last night, at a committee meeting, this neighbor asked for the return of the key. I commented about the fact that a resident was going to rent the party room on August 25th and that the room would need to be made available to the renter throwing the party plus checking the conditions of the place both before and after the party as well as locking up. (This means the person being responsible for opening and closing the party room will need to be available for roughly six hours....one hour before the party, being on stand-by during the party in case any problems arise, (which has occurred in the past), and for another hour or so after the party for supervising clean-up, checking for any damages, documenting any damages, and locking up.)
Judging from the expression on her face, she did NOT want to be bothered with this. She is aware that NONE of the property management staff will be available on the day of the party because it is on a Saturday. For now, I still have the key and I'm on stand-by to assist next Saturday.
Maybe it's just me, or maybe it's my age.....I no longer have patience with people who want the PRESTIGE of having something, a status symbol, and flaunting it in people's faces, but do NOT WANT THE RESPONSIBILITY that goes with it! Do you know what I mean? :?
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120817
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The hoarding issue in today's "Annie's Mailbox".......EWWWWWWW! :P
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/living-with-a-hoarder.html
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In today's "Dear Margo", it sounds like the NWomb-Donor is still forcibly f**king her daughter:
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/unimaginable-destruction-by-a-mother.html
Can't call the !@#$ a mother because she NEVER WAS!!!! :evil:
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120818
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The first letter in "Annie's Mailbox" sounds painfully familiar:
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/when-the-all-expenses-paid-ride-comes-to-an-end.html
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120819
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checking in.............................
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checking in........................
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120822
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/a-question-of-paternity.html
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checking in..........................
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Today's "Dear Margo":
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/staying-married-is-not-for-everyone.html
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Yesterday's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120824
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/running-scared-from-toxic-mom.html
OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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And today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120825
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Today's "Dear Margo":
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/i-vote-for-symbolism.html
Still scratching my head in bewilderment............................................................
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/the-politics-of-pulling-favors-for-family.html
Sounds familiar...
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"Annie's Mailbox" for Monday, August 27, 2012:
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/deflecting-nunofyerbizness-questions.html
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Big hugz to you today Miz (((((Bones))))).
Thank you for sharing these links, I'm often
glad to pop one open and see a situation I'd
never thought of before, and always savor
how many people try to help others in
their responses...
I feel like you are doing that too, just by sharing.
love,
Hops
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Big hugz to you today Miz (((((Bones))))).
Thank you for sharing these links, I'm often
glad to pop one open and see a situation I'd
never thought of before, and always savor
how many people try to help others in
their responses...
I feel like you are doing that too, just by sharing.
love,
Hops
You're welcome, (((((((((((((((((((Hops))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/dancing-her-way-to-the-poor-house.html
Sounds alot like a couple of the letters relate to N's today!
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox" deals with BPD/Narcissism.....
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/mama-s-off-her-meds.html
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OUCH!!!!!!!!
http://www.creators.com/advice/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/the-dark-mite.html
:?
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Today's "Dear Prudence":
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2012/08/dear_prudie_my_parents_play_such_favorites_my_younger_sister_is_depressed_and_has_eating_disorders_.html
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/get-the-empty-nesters-out-of-the-nest.html
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And today's "Dear Margo":
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/a-teacher-s-tears.html
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"Annie's Mailbox" for Saturday, September 1, 2012:
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/the-constant-companion.html
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"Dear Margo" for Saturday, September 1, 2012:
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/paparazzi-in-your-home.html
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120902
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As you may be aware, I do genealogy. One of the risks, I've learned, is encountering newly-found family members who are whacky. I've already found one cousin who is frequently homeless due to alcoholism.
Last night, another newly-found cousin, on the NQueen's side of the family, called me. It didn't take long to realize that he is also an actively practicing alcoholic as he bragged about drinking during the conversation and that he enjoys being drunk! He invited me to come upstate and visit with him for an overnighter. (Thanks, but NO thanks! Been there. Done that. I've had ENOUGH of THAT while growing up. DON'T WANT THE T-SHIRT!) :P
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In today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120903
The first two letters sound like they are dealing with N's. :P
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Hey Bonsey,
Thank you for replying to the thread I deleted - mediation was awesome advice!
Turns out my "drama child" (love her to pieces) exaggerated what happened and nothing came of it so I deleted the thread.
Funny enough, we thought the parents were calling to complain about her - but they were actually calling to complain about our dog barking.
Nothing came of it - but your advice is very well taken.
Should something like this come up, we will definitely seek mediation.
Much love to you Bonsey (((((Bones)))))
Peace
PS - I LOVE your dear abby postings!
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Hey Bonsey,
Thank you for replying to the thread I deleted - mediation was awesome advice!
Turns out my "drama child" (love her to pieces) exaggerated what happened and nothing came of it so I deleted the thread.
Funny enough, we thought the parents were calling to complain about her - but they were actually calling to complain about our dog barking.
Nothing came of it - but your advice is very well taken.
Should something like this come up, we will definitely seek mediation.
Much love to you Bonsey (((((Bones)))))
Peace
PS - I LOVE your dear abby postings!
You're welcome, Peace. Glad I could help.
BTW, here's today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120904
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/traditional-conservative-seeking-same.html
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The first letter in "Dear Abby" raises a LOT of "red flags"!!!!
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120905
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"Annie's Mailbox" of Wednesday, September 5, 2012:
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/a-partnership-without-a-partner.html
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Today's "Dear Abby" sounds like it is discussing N's to a certain extent:
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120906
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/taking-too-much-care-of-susie.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/have-you-tried-being-friendly.html
Today's "Dear Margo"
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/keep-out-of-the-access-lanes.html
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"Dear Margo" for Saturday:
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/when-something-is-not-yours-to-tell.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120909
Today's "Dear Abby"
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/all-that-stands-between-baby-and-grandma-is-one-difficult-mom.html
"Annie's Mailbox" for today..........................
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I'm having difficulty understanding how some people think........
Since the moment I opened my eyes yesterday, before dawn, I was on the go....helping to set up the community yard sale, coordinating logistics, cleaning up and locking up afterwards, dealing with an emergency when an alarm went off, plus the aftermath of a storm that involved a tornado warning....so by the time I got back home I was EXHAUSTED!!!!!
I'm in bed, between 9:30 to 10:00 PM, trying to get comfortable as I'm feeling muscles I forgot I had, finally start to drift off to sleep when my cell-phone rang. Immediately, I'm thinking that CERT is being deployed in response to the storm damage earlier in the day. I get out of bed, pick up my cell-phone, only to discover it is a new-found cousin calling from New York. :?
His first words to me are: "Where are you going?"
My response: "I WAS going to SLEEP!"
His reaction: "But it's NOT 10:00 yet! Why are going to bed SO EARLY?!!?"
My comment: "I AM EXHAUSTED AND I HAVE A RIGHT TO GET SOME SLEEP!!! I've been going non-stop since BEFORE DAWN! I WANT TO GO BACK TO BED AND GET THE REST I NEED!"
Sometimes I just have to be BLUNT! :P
-
For some reason, "Dear Abby" is not yet available this morning. Maybe they are having technical difficulties.
I'm going to see if any of the other advice columns are up and running yet.
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The second letter in "Annie's Mailbox" describes an ODD situation:
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/world-suicide-prevention-day.html
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I will NEVER understand the mind-set of people who want to play political games!
I'm being pressured to change my vote, without any logical explanation. The other person's intention is to mess with the heads of others while playing this STUPID "game" that makes NO sense! And he's pissed off because I kept demanding a logical explanation for his demand! If you can't tell me WHY, then don't demand that I flip over my vote! I need a better explanation other than messing with the minds of other people.
Sheesh!!!! :P
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"Annie's Mailbox" for September 11, 2012:
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/brevity-means-less-to-blow-up.html
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I will NEVER understand the mind-set of people who want to play political games!
I'm being pressured to change my vote, without any logical explanation. The other person's intention is to mess with the heads of others while playing this STUPID "game" that makes NO sense! And he's pissed off because I kept demanding a logical explanation for his demand! If you can't tell me WHY, then don't demand that I flip over my vote! I need a better explanation other than messing with the minds of other people.
Sheesh!!!! :P
I'm still getting pressure to change my vote to be the same as someone else's. When I ask for facts, data, and logical reasons to base this change on, I'm accused of being "stubborn" because I won't blindly obey orders!
WTF?!?!?!?!?
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I will NEVER understand the mind-set of people who want to play political games!
I'm being pressured to change my vote, without any logical explanation. The other person's intention is to mess with the heads of others while playing this STUPID "game" that makes NO sense! And he's pissed off because I kept demanding a logical explanation for his demand! If you can't tell me WHY, then don't demand that I flip over my vote! I need a better explanation other than messing with the minds of other people.
Sheesh!!!! :P
I'm still getting pressure to change my vote to be the same as someone else's. When I ask for facts, data, and logical reasons to base this change on, I'm accused of being "stubborn" because I won't blindly obey orders!
WTF?!?!?!?!?
It seems no one wants to do critical thinking anymore. All they want is knee-jerk, political game-playing that wastes everyone's time and energy.
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/issuing-a-polite-eviction.html
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Feeling frustrated and don't know where to channel it!
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Isolated.
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(((((((((((Bones)))))))))))
tt
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(((((((((((Bones)))))))))))
tt
Thanks, (((((((((((((((((((TT)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
BTW, here is today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120913
The letter writer sounds as if she woke up and realized that her father is an N.
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And today's "Dear Annie":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/pure-evil.html
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So frustrated!!!!
For the past several years, I had been able to use my degree by assisting with mental health screenings and got paid for it!
This year, I received information that I am expected to VOLUNTEER to do the EXACT SAME WORK....with ZERO PAY!!!!
WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!? I've got medical bills that have got to be paid! The medical people are NOT going to "volunteer" to cancel my bills!!!!
DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120914
Today's "Dear Abby"
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence.html
This sounds like everyone's worst nightmare!
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So frustrated!!!!
For the past several years, I had been able to use my degree by assisting with mental health screenings and got paid for it!
This year, I received information that I am expected to VOLUNTEER to do the EXACT SAME WORK....with ZERO PAY!!!!
WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!? I've got medical bills that have got to be paid! The medical people are NOT going to "volunteer" to cancel my bills!!!!
DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Being FORCED to volunteer is NOT volunteering!!!! From my point of view, that is SLAVE LABOR! This Homey Don't Play That!
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I'm not sure if everyone was able to see one of the cases on Judge Judy today where a plaintiff was suing a repo man because she didn't like the way he attempted to repossess her car that SHE NEVER PAID FOR! Judge Judy had ZERO sympathy for her and invoked the Doctrine of Unclean Hands! The judge also encouraged the defendant to press criminal charges against the plaintiff for the physical assault that she committed. The repo man stated that all he wanted to do was complete the job he was hired to do and repossess the vehicle. Judge Judy told the plaintiff that her case was being completely dismissed and ordered the car to be turned over to the defendant Repo Man!
What made me laugh out loud was when the litigants were being interviewed at the end of the case. Turns out that while the litigants were in Judge Judy's courtroom, the plaintiff's car got towed away by the Repo Man's company!!!!! :lol: I would have LOVED to have been a fly on the wall when the plaintiff walked out to where she left her unpaid-for-car and found it GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gotta LOVE Judge Judy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120915
Today's "Dear Abby":
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"Annie's Mailbox" for today:
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/when-is-enough-enough.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/a-wooden-friendship.html
The first letter in "Dear Margo" reminds me of the kind of comments I have received when people, that I barely know or total strangers, see me crocheting or knitting....(ex: "I want that! GIMME!). The demands are annoying at best and inappropriate at worse.
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So frustrated!!!!
For the past several years, I had been able to use my degree by assisting with mental health screenings and got paid for it!
This year, I received information that I am expected to VOLUNTEER to do the EXACT SAME WORK....with ZERO PAY!!!!
WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!? I've got medical bills that have got to be paid! The medical people are NOT going to "volunteer" to cancel my bills!!!!
DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is happening all over the Uk at the minute, Bones, they're just forcing people to work for free. It is absolutely disgusting. I am so sorry to read that they are doing this to you. ((((((((((((((((((((((((Bonesie))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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So frustrated!!!!
For the past several years, I had been able to use my degree by assisting with mental health screenings and got paid for it!
This year, I received information that I am expected to VOLUNTEER to do the EXACT SAME WORK....with ZERO PAY!!!!
WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!? I've got medical bills that have got to be paid! The medical people are NOT going to "volunteer" to cancel my bills!!!!
DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is happening all over the Uk at the minute, Bones, they're just forcing people to work for free. It is absolutely disgusting. I am so sorry to read that they are doing this to you. ((((((((((((((((((((((((Bonesie))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Thanks, (((((((((((((((((((((((Tupp)))))))))))))))))))))))))))
What is even more frustrating is that the person who is attempting to force this is a suspected N. I've observed his behaviors where he has consistently demonstrated that if he can't USE you, he has no use for you, (if you are physically unable to work 80-hour work weeks as opposed to 40-hour work weeks). He has also been known to LIE, then deny he ever said any such thing when confronted with his lie. On top of that, I've watched and listened as he made disparaging comments about people with disabilities, (he doesn't like anyone who has health challenges, which is why I don't have a regular job there anymore when my disabilities began manifesting themselves). I guess, in one sense, I should count my blessings that I don't have to deal with him on a regular basis anymore. I just DESPISE slave labor, especially at the hands of an N.
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/a-bigshot-in-his-dreams.html
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When I checked Facebook last night before heading for bed, I found a PM from an NCousin DEMANDING that I tell one of my friends to FRIEND him! (I had no idea they knew each other.) I asked my friend if she was aware of his "request" and she commented that she must have overlooked it due to being busy with her husband, kids, and grandkids. (I have no problem with that. Life DOES happen outside of Facebook!) Informed NCousin that she will get back to him when she is able, and left it at that. He sends another DEMAND that she FRIEND him NOW! He also DEMANDED when I was going to come down and visit him! (This annoyed me as I was already exhausted and my patience was gone! I have NO desire to see him! :P)
Told him that I'm tired and I'm signing off for the night! Then I logged off. If he got pissed off because I refused to do as he DEMANDED.......TOO BAD!
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trouble sleeping.................................
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Hope you got some good rest finally, ((((Bones))))
love,
Hops
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Hope you got some good rest finally, ((((Bones))))
love,
Hops
Thanks, ((((((((((((((((Hops))))))))))))))))))
Seasonal Affective Disorder is starting to hit.
I'm also struggling with feeling useless and unwanted.
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox"
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/road-trip-anxiety.html
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This sounds painfully familiar:
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/in-the-shadow-of-a-sibling.html
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Principle #1 for you, Bones....to my toes.
http://www.uua.org/beliefs/principles/ (http://www.uua.org/beliefs/principles/)
xo
Hops
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Principle #1 for you, Bones....to my toes.
http://www.uua.org/beliefs/principles/ (http://www.uua.org/beliefs/principles/)
xo
Hops
okay.............................
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Today's "Dear Prudence":
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2012/09/dear_prudence_my_boss_never_zips_his_fly_is_he_doing_it_on_purpose_.html
(Just getting back online after a tornado warning came through my area. This sounds weird but I could feel something/air pressure changing before the warnings started being issued. The air pressure changing was giving me a headache almost as bad as a migraine. After the storm roared through and things settled down, I could feel the air pressure/headache lessening.)
-
Having trouble sleeping again............
Anyway, here is today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/traveling-tom.html
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Interesting..............................
http://www.creators.com/advice/advice-goddess-amy-alkon/alive-and-welded.html
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Today's "Dear Abby" :
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120919
Also feeling aggravated about bureaucrats attempting to force me to volunteer when I had been paid for doing the EXACT SAME WORK in the past! Forcing anyone to "volunteer" is NOT volunteering at all! :x
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The second letter in "Dear Abby", from June 21, 2012 is being discussed in "Dear Abby" of Thursday, September 20, 2012:
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120621
From my standpoint, once a WEEK should be enough under the circumstances, NOT EVERY DAY!
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120920
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/meet-your-future-difficult-daughter-in-law.html
The "daughter-in-law" in question is old enough to have TEEN-AGE children from a previous relationship/marriage. I can't help but wonder what other details have been omitted from what was published that could put this situation in a whole different light such as what KIND OF GIFT did they previously give where she is now reluctant to open an engagement gift now? I sense there is more than one facet to this situation that has been edited out.
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I had a WEIRD dream last night and the more I analyze it, (Freud, anyone?), the more I wonder about its meaning.
I dreamt I was at some sort of banquet that was attended by a HUGE number of family members. I was NOT allowed to participate with them in any way. Instead, I was ordered to take care of their toilet that overflowed nonstop. (Yeah, I felt as if I was being crapped on in more ways than one!) I think the dream summed up how I've been treated by the N's over the years!
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Today's "Dear Prudence":
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2012/09/dear_prudence_my_girlfriend_gets_upset_if_i_ever_mention_my_late_wife_.2.html
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checking in..................................
-
What a Cinderella dream, Bones...
You deserved better.
New PHamily is my Rx.
hugs
Hops
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What a Cinderella dream, Bones...
You deserved better.
New PHamily is my Rx.
hugs
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
The question is how to find a new healthy PHamily and not attract more N's.
In the meantime, here is today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120922
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Today's "Dear Margo":
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/a-real-life-soap-opera.html
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120923
One of the letters in "Dear Abby", concerning a person with Alzheimer's being "paraded about" against her earlier wishes reminds me of what NDoofus frequently did with her mother....even when it was CLEARLY inappropriate! Her own husband tried to reason with her about it. (Like reasoning with an N is going to make any difference.) Her "excuse" was that if she didn't take her mother EVERYWHERE with her, then people would look at HER and think she's an "awful daughter". In reality, she would brag to others, either verbally or non-verbally: "Look how GREAT I AM!!! LOOK AT ME helping my poor mother!" Then she would bask in the praise of total strangers while exposing her mother to all kinds of dangers....which was STUPID!!!!!!
Thank God her mother is now resting in peace and not suffering at the hands of an N anymore!
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/pitfalls-of-cosigning.html
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120924
I'm suspicious that the first letter is leaving out a LOT of other details that could give a better picture to the situation.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/this-looks-nothing-like-forgiveness.html
The second letter reminds me of a situation that I witnessed where, unfortunately, the N was the one with the wheels and she tried to pretend that she OWNED where we were! All of her PASSENGERS kept telling her, it's time to go home! WE WANT TO GO HOME! THE PARTY IS OVER!!! WE ARE TIRED!!! The host and hostess kept politely asking her to leave and SHE IGNORED ALL OF US!!! :P
Finally, at 2:00 AM in the morning, the host literally got in her face and told her: "GET OUT!!!!" The N gave this little giggle, smiled, and commented in a simpering voice: "Oh, is it late? Tee-hee!" The rest of us were ready to wring her neck!
On the way home, the N compounded her BS by blathering mindlessly about "her little plans" to have all the passengers in HER car stay overnight at HER place to watch HER DVD's ALL NIGHT! (Sounded like the Queen NC!@# wanted to force us to attend to her NRoyal A$$ as if we were her property!) :P We all said, "NO! WE ARE TIRED!" and she continued to blather mindlessly anyway about "her little plans" because the word "NO" does not exist in HER world! The expression on the N's face was priceless the instant she parked her car in the driveway and all of her passengers got out, walked to their own cars AND LEFT HER!!!!
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In today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/not-so-funny-mom.html
This NMonster is a TOTAL BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :P
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I did think the Annies' response to the sadistic mother was namby-pamby and fiber-free...
what a horror for those kids.
Hops
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I did think the Annies' response to the sadistic mother was namby-pamby and fiber-free...
what a horror for those kids.
Hops
The "Annies" are completely CLUELESS!!!
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There are days when I believe that everyone here could provide better insights and answers than the advice columnists who are being paid for their stuff!
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These neighbors have a LOT of NERVE!
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2012/09/dear_prudence_my_neighbors_say_our_halloween_decorations_are_too_scary_for_their_daughter_.html
:P
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox" sounds like another N is being discussed:
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/one-thing-mom-shouldn-t-have-to-whine-about.html
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120927
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Today's "Dear Prudence":
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2012/09/dear_prudence_i_had_selective_reduction_before_my_twins_were_born_and_now_my_father_is_threatening_to_tell_them_.html
With a "father" like THAT, I would go NC YESTERDAY!!!!!!!
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Gotta agree.
I think the Annies' responses are so shallow and empty as to make most writers' pain worse.
What a gig. They barely move their lips half the time and half the time what they do say sounds like a faint, "Too bad..."
(Speaking of empathy-free...)
Hops
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Gotta agree.
I think the Annies' responses are so shallow and empty as to make most writers' pain worse.
What a gig. They barely move their lips half the time and half the time what they do say sounds like a faint, "Too bad..."
(Speaking of empathy-free...)
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
I think those of us, here, could do a BETTER job than these paid advice columnists!
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120928
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Today's "Dear Margo" sounds familiar:
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/self-involvement-to-the-max.html
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just checking in....................
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I'm having a bit of a "senior" moment and trying to remember if I posted this before or not. What prompted my thinking was a prior comment about "Karma being a bitch and paybacks are hell". If I had already posted about this, please forgive the repetition.
As some of you may be aware, some years ago I was working in an addiction treatment facility until I was fired. (Long story.) Some county people did question me about what I saw and I answered their questions honestly.....even though it meant I was probably blackballed from ever working in the field again. I also learned from other reliable sources that my replacement, a fully-certified counselor, had been caught RAPING a patient in the facility! :shock: The idiots in charge attempted to keep this sex offender on staff claiming that because the patient has a history of addiction that she "deserved" what she got! :x (What the hell happened to the Code of Ethics?!?!?) The medical staff reported the situation to the county authorities and the administrative idiots were ordered to terminate the sex offender immediately.
Fast forward about six years......the county authorities apparently gathered enough evidence to SHUT DOWN the facility and FIRED everyone who had been involved in firing me. Another drug treatment organization has taken over the buildings, renovated them, and has completely reorganized its operations. I would say Instant Karma caught up with the administrative idiots and payback was hellacious!
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120930
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Today's "Dear Abby": might generate some replies:
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121030
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/parsing-the-pecking-order.html
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In today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/stonewalling-king-lear.html
The first letter writer sounds like an N! :P
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121003
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Just need to vent a little bit.
I've been watching TV shows from my childhood such as Dragnet, with Jack Webb, and Adam-12, with Kent McCord and Martin Milner. Today's episode of Adam-12 centered around a rooftop sniper with a high-powered rifle.
I found myself experiencing flashbacks to the terror that was experienced when the Beltway Sniper was killing at random. The feelings were awful but it was good that I was able to immediately identify where those feelings were coming from and remind myself that the Sniper has been given his justice and will NEVER hurt anyone ever again! I kept repeating the mantra: "I am safe from the Beltway Sniper. He is dead. He can't hurt me."
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In today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/stonewalling-king-lear.html
The first letter writer sounds like an N! :P
In thinking about this letter from the other day....I can imagine what the old N-Idiot said that finally pushed his daughter over the edge. N's are capable of that stupidity!
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Was kind of watching a case on the People's Court a little while ago while puttering with other stuff. Caught the tail-end because Judge Milian's voice and attitude caught my attention.
Turns out that a plaintiff had dumped her belongings on the two defendants and tried to force them to be free storage in spite of the defendants' repeated requests to pick up her belongings. After nearly THREE YEARS, the defendants got fed up and got rid of the stuff because, in the eyes of the law, it is abandoned property. Plaintiff got all huffy and sued. Judge Milian basically read the Riot Act to the plaintiff and told her that it was HER responsibility to get her belongings especially after this length of time had elapsed and that the defendants are not responsible to be free storage. Judge Milian was NOT happy with the plaintiff and her attitude.
The case reminded me of what I was dealing with here. If the N is dumb enough to sue me for getting rid of her abandoned junk after over THREE DECADES, I have a feeling the judge will read her the same Riot Act as well on the same grounds.
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In today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/-quot-husband-substitute-quot-son-is-ultimate-mama-s-boy.html
I think the Clueless Ones REALLY MISSED the boat!!!!
There may not be OVERT incest going on but COVERT incest can and DOES exist!
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In regards to today's "Dear Margo":
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/fair-is-fair.html
I think with Letter Number 1, Tough Love is in order. Ignoring the Pink Elephant in the middle of the living room, taking a dump, doesn't do anyone any favors.
As for Letter Number 2, I've been in a situation where the kid was ABSOLUTELY OUT OF CONTROL and DESTRUCTIVE while the father just stood in one place and whined at the kid. (This was during a camping trip and even the park ranger got involved with the mess this kid was doing because he was going around to other campsites and deliberately DESTROYING the property of TOTAL STRANGERS because HE thought it was FUN! What did the father do about that? Nothing except whined some more while the kid continued to get worse!) The final straw came when I was in the middle of cooking dinner for the group over the campfire and the kid yanked out a burning stick and attempted to shove it into my face while laughing his ass off! His father stood there and whined some more and made NO effort to walk over and take the burning stick out of the kid's hand! Needless to say, I lost my temper, blew my stack, and stated EXACTLY what I thought of this whole mess that this wimp-father and his bratty-kid were doing! The father got mad at me, announced to the whole group that HE was leaving and NEVER coming back! (Personally, I was relieved that they left!)
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Today's "Dear Margo" has me scratching my head. :?
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/an-old-love-and-a-mess.html
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This situation was a mess!
http://www.creators.com/advice/tales-from-the-front/when-wacky-turned-dangerous.html
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121007
Sounds Familiar..............................................................................
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And today's "Dear Annie":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/your-sibling-your-choice.html
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The first letter in "Annie's Mailbox" has RED FLAGS all over it!!!!!
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/forced-isolation-is-abuse.html
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Today's "Dear Prudence":
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2012/10/dear_prudence_my_fiance_s_niece_is_actually_his_daughter_with_his_brother_s_wife_.html
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In today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121009
This sounds like something an N would pull........................
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/let-her-make-more-decisions-and-let-her-pay-for-them-too.html
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/married-to-a-road-rager.html
I have some thoughts on these letters but I'm interested in hearing what others have to say about them.
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In today's "Dear Prudence":
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2012/10/dear_prudence_either_i_sign_a_postnuptial_agreement_or_my_husband_divorces.html
It sounds like the first letter writer is dealing with an N!
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sleeping difficulties....
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sorry Bones, you had a bad night....
(((Bones)))
Hops
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sorry Bones, you had a bad night....
(((Bones)))
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
I had a bit of a meltdown, yesterday, and lost my cool with a group of people.....making myself look stupid.
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In today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121013
I've heard of "helicopter parents" but THIS is RIDICULOUS!!!!!!
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In today's "Dear Margo":
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/an-odd-wish.html
"Gladys" sounds like an N!!!!!!
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Just saying 'hi' (((((Bones)))))
tt
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Just saying 'hi' (((((Bones)))))
tt
Hi, ((((((((((((((((((((((((((TT)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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Is it just me, or is the plaintiff, with the pottery stuff, attempting to blame everyone else instead of taking responsibility for GETTING HER STUFF after THREE PLUS YEARS?!?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Az-Wa1fXRbo&feature=relmfu
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With today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121014
I don't agree with her advice.....................
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/this-friend-is-all-business.html
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In today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121015
The last letter reminds me of a Whacky Nut-Job N that I know who has the delusion that she is ENTITLED to as many grandchildren as SHE DEMANDS!!! :P
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/unlucky-in-love.html
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In today's "Dear Prudence":
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2012/10/dear_prudence_my_girlfriend_grows_hair_on_her_chest.2.html
The MIL sounds like an N!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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One of my guilty pleasures is watching the Qubo Channel. (The programs are more enjoyable than what I've seen on other channels.) One of the cartoons that I like is "Jane and the Dragon". I watched a bit of it at 9:30 PM last night before I fell asleep, which is why I think I had the dream that I did.
One of the characters, in the cartoon, is named Magnus the Merchant, who behaves like an N! (He has received humorous consequences for his behaviors. :)) His son, Gunther, often finds himself caught between a rock and a hard place when he is forced to choose between his father's orders, (his Nfather is paying for his knight's training), and the Knightly Code of Conduct.
In my dream, all the characters are aboard a ship, sailing to some faraway destination. (Not sure how they could fit Dragon on the ship given that he is ten times their size.) Keeping in mind that these stories are taking place during Medieval times, this means that all the provisions on board must be able to sustain everyone until they are able to reach their next port and restock. During my dream, Sir Theodore and Sir Ivon give the responsibility of overseeing the provisions to the two squires, Jane and Gunther, along with assigning consequences to anyone who steals from these provisions....endangering everyone on board, including the Royal Family. Magnus the Merchant is caught stealing by Jane and Gunther, which places Gunther in a No-Win situation. Does he look in the other direction, permit his father to steal, violate his Knightly Code of Conduct and endanger everyone, (knowing that Squire Jane is also a witness to this crime), or does he follow the Knightly Code of Conduct and give his father a consequence for stealing the supplies, possibly jeopardizing his chances of continuing his knight's training that his Nfather is paying for?
That's when I woke up.
Edit In: If I were writing the script for the next episode of "Jane and the Dragon", the question would be how to solve the above dilemma, in a child-friendly way, and give the moral to the story in the way of Aesop's Fable? I'm still trying to puzzle it out.
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checking in.............................
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BTW, if you have the opportunity to get a Flu Shot, go ahead and get it done!
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Scratching my head in puzzlement this morning. :? :?
I was at a meeting last night where another home owner started bitching that there were "too many trees" and that she wants all of them cut down. This is the same idiot who wants to have all the wetlands filled in with concrete and all the wildlife exterminated because SHE does NOT like them! :P When she complained about how dark it was behind her unit, a floodlight was installed back there that is motion-sensitive. What did she do? She BITCHED that it was installed WITHOUT HER PERMISSION!! :P :roll: (Permission is not needed for any work in the common areas.)
I purchased my home because it overlooks this natural area and have been rewarded with the ability to watch various wildlife and birds. I wish this NBitch would shut the F*** UP!!!
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In today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121019
I'm not sure if "Abby" understands how rushed doctors are. When I've attempted to discuss, with my doctor, about eating healthier for my osteopenia and losing the needed weight, the only advice I got was: "You'll figure it out."
That does not help.
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In the last letter, I don't think the advice columnist understands that age discrimination happens but you can't prove it:
http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/graduate-wants-to-create-company-that-makes-a-difference.html
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The first letter in "Dear Abby" has RED FLAGS all over it!!!!!! Does this child's mother KNOW what she's doing?!?!?!?!?!
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121020
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In today's "Dear Margo"
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/a-question-of-wills.html
I would say that the letter writer knows her MIL better than Margo, which is WHY the letter writer is saying NO!
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The first letter in "Dear Abby" has RED FLAGS all over it!!!!!! Does this child's mother KNOW what she's doing?!?!?!?!?!
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121020
Aargh, Bonesie, this is why I really don't think teenagers should have unrestricted access to the internet! There are so many scary stories now and so much goes on that the parents don't seem to know about. I really hope she takes the advice and finds out a lot more about this mystery man. Hope you are well :) xx
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The first letter in "Dear Abby" has RED FLAGS all over it!!!!!! Does this child's mother KNOW what she's doing?!?!?!?!?!
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121020
Aargh, Bonesie, this is why I really don't think teenagers should have unrestricted access to the internet! There are so many scary stories now and so much goes on that the parents don't seem to know about. I really hope she takes the advice and finds out a lot more about this mystery man. Hope you are well :) xx
Thanks, Tupp!!!
Based on what I was reading, I don't think this kid's parents have a clue!!!!! If I were her mother, I would be monitoring her Internet access and checking out her friends...including a background check on this strange person! My gut keeps telling me that he is a pedophile based on the language he's using!
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I'm so glad I grew up w/o Internet...Encyclopedia Britannica and reading all of Dickens as a family, out loud (credit to my mother, who literally read the entire works of Dickens out loud to us). She was, in addition to her N-issues, a skilled and dedicated librarian and literacy obsessed, which I'm ever grateful for.
We got a TV (our first) when I was 14. All the years before, nuttin' plugged us in to mass culture (its beauties or its dangers). Now of course I consume TV like it's forbidden fruit...but I was safely innoculated, I think.
I cannot imagine how much damaging info (much less real predators) little kids are routinely consuming online. I think it's pretty horrifying. I would be Draconian about that, were I to raise another child...have more confidence in my convictions.
just yakking, xo
Hops
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I'm so glad I grew up w/o Internet...Encyclopedia Britannica and reading all of Dickens as a family, out loud (credit to my mother, who literally read the entire works of Dickens out loud to us). She was, in addition to her N-issues, a skilled and dedicated librarian and literacy obsessed, which I'm ever grateful for.
We got a TV (our first) when I was 14. All the years before, nuttin' plugged us in to mass culture (its beauties or its dangers). Now of course I consume TV like it's forbidden fruit...but I was safely innoculated, I think.
I cannot imagine how much damaging info (much less real predators) little kids are routinely consuming online. I think it's pretty horrifying. I would be Draconian about that, were I to raise another child...have more confidence in my convictions.
just yakking, xo
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
I guess I would tend to be a "helicopter mom" if I had kids because I'm painfully aware of what can happen. I tend to be overprotective with my friends' children if they are out of sight for more than a second.
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121021
I think our group could have given better advice to the letter writers....................
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This sounds like the Mother-in-Law from HELL!!!!!! :P
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121022
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In today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/he-s-old-enough-and-so-is-she.html
Based on what I've read, he has GOOD reason to keep her OUT of the loop!
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2012/10/dear_prudence_my_wife_is_pregnant_by_another_man_but_she_s_saying_it_s_mine.html
WHOA!!!!!!!
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Regarding the Trick or Treaters in today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121023
If they are so young that their mother does not want them out after dark, then they should have a parent or guardian going with them. Other neighbors may be just getting home from work and tending to their own families while preparing for the evening's festivities. I don't agree with "Abby" at all!
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2012/10/dear_prudence_my_pregnant_sister_in_law_wants_us_to_postpone_our_wedding.html
The pregnant sister-in-law sounds like an N!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :P
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Having disrupted sleep and disturbing dreams.......
Either I dream that I'm alone in a crowd, being rejected by everyone or I dream that I'm part of an affectionate group and I question how and why they should accept me while feeling like a fraud.
I also realize that during my waking hours, I'm just not comfortable with anyone getting too close to me.
Is this my Asperger's, my PTSD, or both?
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Finally drift off to sleep and get awakened by a ROBO-CALL!!!! DAMMIT!!!!! :evil:
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Does anyone get a chance to watch Judge Alex today?
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I mentioned Judge Alex yesterday because it appeared that the defendant is a FLAMING N!
He had been hired to house-sit and take care of a little Yorkie, in its dog-crate, while the plaintiff was on vacation for about a week. During her vacation, she got a phone call from a neighbor telling her that her house-sitter was HAVING A PARTY IN HER HOME WITHOUT PERMISSION! :shock: When the plaintiff arrived home, she found her house COMPLETELY TRASHED, her computer DESTROYED, and her little Yorkie MISSING!
The defendant's attitude, in court, was NOT MY PROPERTY, NOT MY PROBLEM. I'M ENTITLED TO DO WHAT I WANT AND DO AS I PLEASE! :P He even tried to blame the dog for its disappearance!!!!!! :x
Judge Alex was so deeply offended by the defendant's attitude and behavior, along with all the evidence of the damages he caused, that he awarded the plaintiff $4,600, which included PUNITIVE DAMAGES.
After the case was over, the defendant tried to claim that HE was the VICTIM and that the judge was UNFAIR! :P (Sound familiar?)
To change subjects:
Here is today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121024
Makes me wonder what is going on with this 15-year-old's family that makes this whole situation so dysfunctional.
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In today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/mommie-in-law-dearest.html
This is not only the MIL from HELL....she ABUSES her grandchild!!!!! :P
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Today would have been my elder sister, Pauline's, 64th birthday. I want to remember her even though she was a stillborn. In one sense, I guess it is a blessing that she wasn't subjected the NBitch's abuse.
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/a-nasty-bunch-of-in-laws.html
Geez.......................................
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/office-bully-not-easily-stopped.html
Office bully equal Narcissist?
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Any Trekkies on board who have watched episodes of Deep Space Nine....such as "Dr. Bashir, I Presume?"
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Today's "Dear Prudence":
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2012/10/dear_prudence_my_closeted_boyfriend_won_t_let_me_meet_his_friends.html
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I knew you'd like Prudence. She is waaaaaay more savvy than Anne or Abby
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I knew you'd like Prudence. She is waaaaaay more savvy than Anne or Abby
Some of the questions I've seen had my jaw on the floor!
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Any Trekkies on board who have watched episodes of Deep Space Nine....such as "Dr. Bashir, I Presume?"
The first time I saw this episode, it was back in 1997. When I was watching it again, it suddenly hit me that both Dr. Zimmerman and Dr. Bashir's father show Narcissistic tendencies!
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Hiya Bones - are you getting your CERT hat on? You better batten the hatches, grease up the bilge pump, and strike the sails. It's fixin' to blow this weekend.
We start feeling the full effects tomorrow -- this is our last day to get ready. So GLAD they finished my storm shutters last week!
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Hiya Bones - are you getting your CERT hat on? You better batten the hatches, grease up the bilge pump, and strike the sails. It's fixin' to blow this weekend.
We start feeling the full effects tomorrow -- this is our last day to get ready. So GLAD they finished my storm shutters last week!
I'm working on this now and also in the process of brainstorming with a former colleague, who is Deaf, and is now a new member of my CERT team. In my friend's situation, radios would be useless. She has an IPhone that she uses for text messaging and e-mail. If the IPhone system goes down during this storm, like my cell phone did after the earthquake, we need an alternate system of communicating during the emergency. She lives in a different city a couple of miles away so if our wheels are unable to navigate after a disaster, we would be unable to walk to each other. Definitely a challenge.
In the meantime, here is today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121026
The first letter writer may not realize it but her fiance' is showing all the signs of alcoholism. It's not how much one drinks or how frequently one drinks....it is how the alcohol CHANGES the personality!!!! The Doctor Jekyll/Mr. Hyde is a perfect description of this phenomenon.
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Sounds familiar:
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/nothing-but-lies-in-their-promised-land.html
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Today's "Dear Margo":
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/oh-how-sharper-than-a-serpent-s-tooth.html
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Dealing with N's in the family is FRUSTRATING!!!!!!!
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/best-family-friend-not-your-bff.html
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/express-yourself-just-not-in-my-paper.html
My immediate reaction to the first letter was: "Where does this guy get off attempting to DICTATE to others?!?!?!?!?!?
FYI:
With the Frankenstorm coming in my direction, I may be knocked off the Internet for awhile.
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Morning Bones!
We're still up - even online, so far today. I was out yesterday and the temp dropped after noon... my sinus-based barometer started plunging or else I had a touch of a bug. Slept 10 hours, like a baby last night. I did drop the hurricane shutters around supper time - it's just a regular maintenance thing to do; keeps the individual slats lined up & lego-like stacked one on top of the other and I haven't done this since they were installed. It keeps things real quiet in the house -- and DARK.
The ocean side is getting slammed right now. NC 12 - Beach Rd - is flooded or washed out in the usual spots from Oregon Inlet/Hatteras to Kitty Hawk. The "beach" access to the 4x4 beach, north of Corolla, is all ocean - no one's getting in or out. Someone reported that the trip across the Wright Memorial Bridge is a bit challenging... winds are mostly NNE; at the house we're only clocking 35-40 mph, but I'm sure if I were to walk out the dock - with no trees to break the wind - I wouldn't be able to stand up. That's probably more intense on the Wright bridge. By some time Monday - this will start to lift and shift your direction.
We're ready for no power, of course. But so far so good. And after Irene last year, I would hope that the power company upgraded their soundside connections. What will knock us off is soundside flooding.
We're so sheltered here, that what we're noticing is simply that it's wet and constantly breezy. Unlike some ocean front or sound front properties.
The emergency team didn't even call for mandatory evacs -- but it is the off-season and most of the people down this time of year are both more self-reliant, and have more common sense.
Because it appears the storm is going to land NORTH of the DC-BALT metro area - I think you'll miss the worst of the winds. Still not a bad idea to secure all light stuff that might become airborne projectiles. And it's going to RAIN; for a few days.
Prepare for the worst and hope for the best. I don't think it will be quite as catastrophic as the weather folks are making out, Bones.
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Morning Bones!
We're still up - even online, so far today. I was out yesterday and the temp dropped after noon... my sinus-based barometer started plunging or else I had a touch of a bug. Slept 10 hours, like a baby last night. I did drop the hurricane shutters around supper time - it's just a regular maintenance thing to do; keeps the individual slats lined up & lego-like stacked one on top of the other and I haven't done this since they were installed. It keeps things real quiet in the house -- and DARK.
The ocean side is getting slammed right now. NC 12 - Beach Rd - is flooded or washed out in the usual spots from Oregon Inlet/Hatteras to Kitty Hawk. The "beach" access to the 4x4 beach, north of Corolla, is all ocean - no one's getting in or out. Someone reported that the trip across the Wright Memorial Bridge is a bit challenging... winds are mostly NNE; at the house we're only clocking 35-40 mph, but I'm sure if I were to walk out the dock - with no trees to break the wind - I wouldn't be able to stand up. That's probably more intense on the Wright bridge. By some time Monday - this will start to lift and shift your direction.
We're ready for no power, of course. But so far so good. And after Irene last year, I would hope that the power company upgraded their soundside connections. What will knock us off is soundside flooding.
We're so sheltered here, that what we're noticing is simply that it's wet and constantly breezy. Unlike some ocean front or sound front properties.
The emergency team didn't even call for mandatory evacs -- but it is the off-season and most of the people down this time of year are both more self-reliant, and have more common sense.
Because it appears the storm is going to land NORTH of the DC-BALT metro area - I think you'll miss the worst of the winds. Still not a bad idea to secure all light stuff that might become airborne projectiles. And it's going to RAIN; for a few days.
Prepare for the worst and hope for the best. I don't think it will be quite as catastrophic as the weather folks are making out, Bones.
I'm looking at what is heading in from the west that is going to merge with Hurricane Sandy plus I'm looking at the wind-bands emanating from the eye of this storm and it looks massive. I've learned a long time ago to never underestimate storms.
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I'm feeling pretty cautious too Bones, especially after the week without power last summer. Stocked up on batteries, water and canned food. House will be warm enough since it's not winter, thank god, but I have a very big tree out front that is not healthy. I saw SO many huge trees come down in high winds (and even without wind, from soaked ground) onto houses during the last few years that I'm truly not assuming anything. If the meteorologists say "huge" I'm think I will believe them.
I hope there's no injury or loss of life, but I don't know how that could be avoided.
Stay safe, everyone.
Hops
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I'm feeling pretty cautious too Bones, especially after the week without power last summer. Stocked up on batteries, water and canned food. House will be warm enough since it's not winter, thank god, but I have a very big tree out front that is not healthy. I saw SO many huge trees come down in high winds (and even without wind, from soaked ground) onto houses during the last few years that I'm truly not assuming anything. If the meteorologists say "huge" I'm think I will believe them.
I hope there's no injury or loss of life, but I don't know how that could be avoided.
Stay safe, everyone.
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
I'm hoping people in my area learned from their experience with the Derecho. Compared to what I see on the radar, the Derecho was a TINY drop in the bucket!!!!!
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Hops - you may actually have more issues from snow and wind, where you are. You're far enough away from the center, that it will minimize the effect. Still - take no chances, and cocoon as much as possible! Have you seen the blizzard warnings? OY! Hurricanes inside tropical storms, blizzards and 20-25 waves on Lake Michigan, and an earthquake of B.C., Canada this morning. (When it rains it pours... makes a person wonder about those pesky Mayans.)
Bones - from the latest update - the storm won't make landfall for 48-36 hours. Conditions will deteriorate, then just continue until you're ready for it to arrive already! The eye is predicted to come ashore between DE and NJ - just north of Baltimore. Perhaps by that time, the southwest/southern quadrant of the storm will be weaker. Our winds started to occasionally shift to the N-NW off & on after 2 pm. We've got at least 24 more hours of this here - gale force winds maybe through Tuesday, according to the last update I heard. For us, it's NOT THAT BAD. South - Hatteras and Ocracoke are getting pounded - and the flooding is already started. Today it's the ocean, very late tonight - tomorrow, it'll be the sound side that takes on up to 7 ft of water. Hatteras' power is out; ours has only blinked once.
We'll see what happens overnight; Sandy is still actually about due east of Hatteras - 100 mi south of where I am. It's when it starts to move, that I'm afraid that things will go downhill in a hurry... even though it will be pulling north away from us at the same time.
Dr G - Boston will get some of this, too. Batten the hatches!
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Hops - you may actually have more issues from snow and wind, where you are. You're far enough away from the center, that it will minimize the effect. Still - take no chances, and cocoon as much as possible! Have you seen the blizzard warnings? OY! Hurricanes inside tropical storms, blizzards and 20-25 waves on Lake Michigan, and an earthquake of B.C., Canada this morning. (When it rains it pours... makes a person wonder about those pesky Mayans.)
Bones - from the latest update - the storm won't make landfall for 48-36 hours. Conditions will deteriorate, then just continue until you're ready for it to arrive already! The eye is predicted to come ashore between DE and NJ - just north of Baltimore. Perhaps by that time, the southwest/southern quadrant of the storm will be weaker. Our winds started to occasionally shift to the N-NW off & on after 2 pm. We've got at least 24 more hours of this here - gale force winds maybe through Tuesday, according to the last update I heard. For us, it's NOT THAT BAD. South - Hatteras and Ocracoke are getting pounded - and the flooding is already started. Today it's the ocean, very late tonight - tomorrow, it'll be the sound side that takes on up to 7 ft of water. Hatteras' power is out; ours has only blinked once.
We'll see what happens overnight; Sandy is still actually about due east of Hatteras - 100 mi south of where I am. It's when it starts to move, that I'm afraid that things will go downhill in a hurry... even though it will be pulling north away from us at the same time.
Dr G - Boston will get some of this, too. Batten the hatches!
There's also a storm coming in from the west that is going to merge with this:
http://www.boston.com/news/weather/2012/10/28/frankenstorm-worse-than-sum-its-parts/4xdfJMhMYddNKt0sHMYtrN/story.html
http://newswatch.nationalgeographic.com/2012/10/28/get-prepped-hurricane-sandy-edition/
My CERT group is in stand-by mode. We are taking NO chances!
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Bones, you know - I think the worst of the worst for you, is that people have absolutely little awareness of what-all requires electricity to run - ATMs, gas pumps, etc. The stores don't have much of a backup plan to check people out, if their computerized cash registers don't work - so they can't even take cash. And living in the city, is usually living in less space -- so people aren't prepared to live in their homes - sans power. So far, there haven't been any widespread outages here. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!
City water pressure can drop, where there's flooding, too... or you may get a "boil water" order due to contamination. Filling a bath tub gives you some extra for washing up and flushing.
Hubs just hollared that the DC Gov't is shutting down. Hopefully that means they're activating their emergency team now, who will take over.
Hang on, Hops - wind's picking up down here tonight!
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Bones, you know - I think the worst of the worst for you, is that people have absolutely little awareness of what-all requires electricity to run - ATMs, gas pumps, etc. The stores don't have much of a backup plan to check people out, if their computerized cash registers don't work - so they can't even take cash. And living in the city, is usually living in less space -- so people aren't prepared to live in their homes - sans power. So far, there haven't been any widespread outages here. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!
City water pressure can drop, where there's flooding, too... or you may get a "boil water" order due to contamination. Filling a bath tub gives you some extra for washing up and flushing.
Hubs just hollared that the DC Gov't is shutting down. Hopefully that means they're activating their emergency team now, who will take over.
Hang on, Hops - wind's picking up down here tonight!
The rain has started in my area.
I'm checking my e-mail to see if I have received additional information before I lose that connection.
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Got the radio tuned to NOAA.
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Hi TT, I had a private tree company cut back the tree just a few weeks ago because I was concerned about its condition. He's the one who alerted me to how unhealthy it is, but we're trying to give it a chance to regrow. It's a silver maple (which urban planners do not recommend, as they have shallowish root systems) -- and its twin, which is healthier, is the one right out the window. Nothing to do but keep the fingers crossed at this point.
I have quite a few friends who just "know" their predictions are more precise than, say, NOAA's. I just marvel at how many scientists are sitting on the average couch!
Hops
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Hi TT, I had a private tree company cut back the tree just a few weeks ago because I was concerned about its condition. He's the one who alerted me to how unhealthy it is, but we're trying to give it a chance to regrow. It's a silver maple (which urban planners do not recommend, as they have shallowish root systems) -- and its twin, which is healthier, is the one right out the window. Nothing to do but keep the fingers crossed at this point.
I have quite a few friends who just "know" their predictions are more precise than, say, NOAA's. I just marvel at how many scientists are sitting on the average couch!
Hops
Don't you just "love" these "couch predictors" who think they are more "precise" than NOAA? :P Do they have access to the planes that fly into hurricanes and the specialized computers that provide storm modeling based on the data received from these planes, radar, and other scientific sources? Reminds me of an old saying: "People who think they know it all are annoying to people who do."
I don't know how long I'll be able to stay online. In the meantime, here is today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121029
This raises a LOT of RED FLAGS for me!!!!
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/for-better-or-for-sedentary.html
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I agree with tt's caution, that this storm is lasting DAAAYS. We got rain/wind on Friday - despite no prediction for it to start then. Saturday dawned gray & windy - but dry, till lunchtime. The rain seriously started that afternoon... continued all day yesterday, still NNE. It's not supposed to clear here until Tuesday. But the wind has shifted around NNW, supposed to become more westerly all day - and it's definitely not as intense. The rain is still here, too...
LOL... yeah, there are a bunch of us that get all geeky when it comes to storms. I think it's a way to help minimize anxiety, for me. The HAM stuff is still sitting, at the moment - I don't exactly know what equipment is needed yet and can't really use it, until I pass the test & get my license.
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I agree with tt's caution, that this storm is lasting DAAAYS. We got rain/wind on Friday - despite no prediction for it to start then. Saturday dawned gray & windy - but dry, till lunchtime. The rain seriously started that afternoon... continued all day yesterday, still NNE. It's not supposed to clear here until Tuesday. But the wind has shifted around NNW, supposed to become more westerly all day - and it's definitely not as intense. The rain is still here, too...
LOL... yeah, there are a bunch of us that get all geeky when it comes to storms. I think it's a way to help minimize anxiety, for me. The HAM stuff is still sitting, at the moment - I don't exactly know what equipment is needed yet and can't really use it, until I pass the test & get my license.
P.R.,
Do you have contact with your local CERT team in your area?
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There is no CERT team here - I did check, after seeing a chapter in Va. Beach. That's like 2 hours from here - and often times we don't get the same weather, odd as that sounds.
This morning, there has been no let up on the Beach side. In fact - even tho the storm is north of us and starting to turn now - the water is STILL rising here. Kitty Hawk, oceanside is pretty bad off -- and water's all the way to the bypass. Beach Rd is closed from the Hilton in KH, all the way to the KDH town line. Duck Rd may close, right there at KH & Southern Shores, because of another dune breach, too. Curfew is imposed for Kill Devil Hills. We're expecting sound side flooding from the intensifying west wind, tonight too.
What I've read, is that as the storm makes landfall and connects with that front coming from the west, the wind is going to intensify on the south/southwest side. What I'm hoping - is that tomorrow we can get out. But it may not be till Wed.
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There is no CERT team here - I did check, after seeing a chapter in Va. Beach. That's like 2 hours from here - and often times we don't get the same weather, odd as that sounds.
This morning, there has been no let up on the Beach side. In fact - even tho the storm is north of us and starting to turn now - the water is STILL rising here. Kitty Hawk, oceanside is pretty bad off -- and water's all the way to the bypass. Beach Rd is closed from the Hilton in KH, all the way to the KDH town line. Duck Rd may close, right there at KH & Southern Shores, because of another dune breach, too. Curfew is imposed for Kill Devil Hills. We're expecting sound side flooding from the intensifying west wind, tonight too.
What I've read, is that as the storm makes landfall and connects with that front coming from the west, the wind is going to intensify on the south/southwest side. What I'm hoping - is that tomorrow we can get out. But it may not be till Wed.
I've been listening to the NOAA broadcasts and checking the Internet.
There is a road, not far from me, that has flooded and I saw news that a pier in Ocean City has collapsed.
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Hi Bones - you up yet?
How's things in your neck of the woods? Wind's still howling here; it's chilly too! Rain mostly stopped. Cabin Fever is setting in, and I'm going to have to make an excursion out today. Hope it's not too crazy there and that mostly things are alright.
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Hi Bones - you up yet?
How's things in your neck of the woods? Wind's still howling here; it's chilly too! Rain mostly stopped. Cabin Fever is setting in, and I'm going to have to make an excursion out today. Hope it's not too crazy there and that mostly things are alright.
Still taking it one day at a time and waiting for the other shoe to drop regarding electricity, etc.
In the meantime, here is today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/wishing-he-d-leave-while-tempting-him-to-stay.html
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And here's today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121030
They don't mention the other issues that I've encountered with parents when their children are caught misbehaving badly in school. I've lost count as to how many times I've been cussed out, my then-boss got cussed out, threats of lawsuits, etc. when we've had to contact the parents regarding their child's commission of an infraction, at best, or the commission of a crime at worst. (For example, one student was caught in possession of a deadly weapon and announced that he planned to murder another student....naming his intended victim. The school had/has a ZERO TOLERANCE policy on that and the guilty student was expelled. His legal guardian went to all kinds of insane lengths to FORCE us to reinstate him!) I've also heard these same parents come out with: "How DARE you say NO to MY child!" or "NOT MY CHILD! MY CHILD IS PERFECT!" while their child is sitting there in the room and smirking.
While I was still working in the last school, I've often heard it said: "Teachers are afraid of the administrators. Administrators are afraid of the parents. Parents are afraid of their children. The children are afraid of NOBODY!"
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The continuation of "Dear Prudence":
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2012/10/dear_prudence_my_sister_is_marrying_a_virgin_his_family_disparages_her_for.html
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DH says he can't remember one coming after Oct. 20 for a long, long time.
I honestly think he was talking about hurricanes hitting in S. FL past Oct. 20, because I think there have been others of these late season storms that have done heavy damage to other areas N of us.
tt
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DH says he can't remember one coming after Oct. 20 for a long, long time.
I honestly think he was talking about hurricanes hitting in S. FL past Oct. 20, because I think there have been others of these late season storms that have done heavy damage to other areas N of us.
tt
Lately, this weather has been INSANE!
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The advice columns seem to be a bit lame today............................
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121101
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/jake-likes-his-cake.html
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There is none so blind as those who refuse to see:
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121102
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With the first letter in "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/mom-dad-meet-my-backbone.html
It sounds like the letter writer is dealing with a couple of N's! The scenario sounds
PAINFULLY familiar!
N: "I know you told us that visiting at this time is inconvenient but WE are going to show up anyway!"
Adult Child: "Mom! There's too much going on at this time. We CANNOT accommodate you!"
The N's show up on the doorstep anyway: "We're HERE! ENTERTAIN US IMMEDIATELY!"
URGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :P
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With the first letter in "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/mom-dad-meet-my-backbone.html
It sounds like the letter writer is dealing with a couple of N's! The scenario sounds
PAINFULLY familiar!
N: "I know you told us that visiting at this time is inconvenient but WE are going to show up anyway!"
Adult Child: "Mom! There's too much going on at this time. We CANNOT accommodate you!"
The N's show up on the doorstep anyway: "We're HERE! ENTERTAIN US IMMEDIATELY!"
URGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :P
Do you know, in the days when I still spoke to my mum and sister I ended up lying about getting a new job in order to stop them spending half the day sat on their backsides drinking coffee in my front room. Funny how hard it is to be assertive when you've been taught to obey - and how nice it is once you finally get the hang of it :)
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With the first letter in "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/mom-dad-meet-my-backbone.html
It sounds like the letter writer is dealing with a couple of N's! The scenario sounds
PAINFULLY familiar!
N: "I know you told us that visiting at this time is inconvenient but WE are going to show up anyway!"
Adult Child: "Mom! There's too much going on at this time. We CANNOT accommodate you!"
The N's show up on the doorstep anyway: "We're HERE! ENTERTAIN US IMMEDIATELY!"
URGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :P
Do you know, in the days when I still spoke to my mum and sister I ended up lying about getting a new job in order to stop them spending half the day sat on their backsides drinking coffee in my front room. Funny how hard it is to be assertive when you've been taught to obey - and how nice it is once you finally get the hang of it :)
Thanks, Tupp!
Now that we got the hang of it, isn't it appalling how outrageous these N's are?
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In the second letter of "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/a-message-of-love-for-bobby.html
Where it discusses guests who can't seem to find the door to go home.........how many of us have encountered N's who not only REFUSE to respect your request to NOT come but add insult to injury by attempting to REFUSE TO LEAVE?!?!?!?!?!? I've witnessed an N doing this until the host literally screamed in her face to GET OUT! She simply just smirked at him. YRRRRRCCCCHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
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The first letter in "Dear Margo":
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/nurse-ratched-in-a-grammar-school.html
My third grade teacher was EXACTLY like this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It took YEARS before enough adults LISTENED to the kids and started investigating!!! The NQueen IGNORED what was happening until my fifth grade teacher pointed out to her that EVERY SINGLE STUDENT she encountered from my old school had the same issues as a result of this Third Grade Teacher's abuse! By then, the Teacher-From Hell was attempting to become the PRINCIPAL of the school!
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Feeling upset right now. I just learned that one of my favorite wildlife....a Great Blue Heron...has been found dead a few buildings over from mine. The neighbor, who found it, kept asking me how and why it died. I have NO idea. I don't know how old the Heron was. I don't know what the normal life span is for a Great Blue Heron. I have NO training nor the equipment to conduct a post mortem to determine the time and cause of death. The neighbor kept repeating the same question over and over regarding how and why it died until my last nerve was plucked and I got snappish with him.
Geez!!!!
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In today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121104
The jerk described in the first letter sounds like an N!!!!! :P
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Had to take a long, hard, look at a connection with someone that I've known since 1984 and analyze whether or not this was ever really a friendship. She's had a history of making obnoxious racist comments even though she is aware that I'm Biracial. When I responded that I don't appreciate being called the N-Word, her response was that she was entitled to her opinions and "Get over it!" When I was in the hospital, she was too busy. When I was dealing with the NQueen dying, she was too busy. But when SHE wanted something, I was expected to drop everything.
Today, she sent me a message via Facebook that was one time too many and I realized that this had never been a friendship in the true sense of the word. It had always been one-sided with her demands that I give-give-give while she takes-takes-takes.
I blocked her. Buh-Bye!
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Recently learned that Dr. Phil will have a program on Maternal Narcissism. Problem is that it will be broadcast on a channel that I can no longer receive ever since everything went digital. RATS!!!! :P
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Today's "Dear Prudence":
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2012/11/dear_prudence_my_grandmother_wants_me_to_get_a_dna_test_to_prove_i_m_her.html
GEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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In today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/disturbed-son-divided-marriage.html
This mother needs to contact Nar-Anon ASAP!!!!
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Any thoughts on today's "Dear Prudence"?
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2012/11/dear_prudence_thanksgiving_is_too_much_for_my_introverted_daughter.html
Quite a few interesting topics have been discussed.
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Feeling aggravated today.........................
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Had to take a long, hard, look at a connection with someone that I've known since 1984 and analyze whether or not this was ever really a friendship. She's had a history of making obnoxious racist comments even though she is aware that I'm Biracial. When I responded that I don't appreciate being called the N-Word, her response was that she was entitled to her opinions and "Get over it!" When I was in the hospital, she was too busy. When I was dealing with the NQueen dying, she was too busy. But when SHE wanted something, I was expected to drop everything.
Today, she sent me a message via Facebook that was one time too many and I realized that this had never been a friendship in the true sense of the word. It had always been one-sided with her demands that I give-give-give while she takes-takes-takes.
I blocked her. Buh-Bye!
Started really thinking what components are the foundation of a HEALTHY friendship:
Respect
Honesty
Integrity
Did I overlook anything?
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Only an N would do THIS:
http://www.newsnet5.com//dpp/news/local_news/cleveland_metro/woman-who-drove-along-sidewalk-to-avoid-stopping-for-cleveland-school-bus-must-wear-idiot-sign#ixzz2BSAUVDUl
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checking in........
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Reciprocity
hugs
Hops
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Reciprocity
hugs
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/married-to-the-mob.html
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Today's "Dear Prudence":
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2012/11/dear_prudence_my_friend_has_hiv_but_hasn_t_informed_his_partner.html
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In today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121109
The 25-year-old sounds like an N!
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Today's "Dear Margo":
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/back-to-the-twins.html
In the last letter, Margo comments that she can't understand where the euphemism "Birds and Bees" came from.
When I read that phrase, I immediately saw a picture where the "birds" were female, (I've heard The Beatles refer to girls as "birds"), and the "bees" were males with "stingers". That's just my perspective......
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I am so sorry about the great blue heron, Bones.
I can imagine this grief.
I once lived somewhere I saw them often...
our poor wildlife.
love
Hops
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I am so sorry about the great blue heron, Bones.
I can imagine this grief.
I once lived somewhere I saw them often...
our poor wildlife.
love
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
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Today's "Dear Margo":
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/conquering-a-phobia.html
Dealing with some flashbacks today. I've come to realize that my vision has been changing and NOT in a good way. When I've had to read stuff that seems to have smaller print, I've found myself holding it closer to my face than I normally would. That triggered memories of the NQueen hitting me in the face every time I tried to SEE something. By the time I got into first grade, I was struggling to SEE what was on the blackboard and my teacher said something to the NQueen about the possibility of needing glasses. Her reaction was to fly into an NRage and beat on me because I "made HER look bad". The same thing happened in the second grade. By this time, both teachers put their heads together and, with the help of the principal, arranged to have an opthomalogist come to the school, test EVERY child and presented the NQueen with the documented evidence that I NEEDED GLASSES.
Now I am finding myself doing the same thing I did when I was little and got my butt to the eye doctor to find out why. Turns out that I have the beginnings of a cataract in my bad eye and I've lost some vision as a result. UGH!!!! :P I've been told that it is too early to treat it yet. They have to monitor it and told me not to worry. Easy for them to say!
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/self-esteem-develops-alongside-values.html
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What a horrendously sick parent you SURVIVED Bones.
I am so sorry you have memories like that of her insanity.
YOU are sane.
And YOU can see.
Remember, no one will ever, ever hit you again.
She is GONE and you are learning to love and mother yourself.
love
Hops
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What a horrendously sick parent you SURVIVED Bones.
I am so sorry you have memories like that of her insanity.
YOU are sane.
And YOU can see.
Remember, no one will ever, ever hit you again.
She is GONE and you are learning to love and mother yourself.
love
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121112
The last letter sounds like the LW is dealing with an N-MIL!
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/no-respect-for-the-dead.html
That first letter.......WHEW!!!!
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Today's "Dear Prudence":
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2012/11/dear_prudence_i_walked_in_on_my_son_pleasuring_himself_with_the_vacuum_cleaner.html
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121113
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/a-badge-gives-power-not-personality.html
SCARY!!!!! :shock:
I grew up in a small town where we had a jerk-cop like this one! (I couldn't call him a police officer because his behavior was badge-heavy OBNOXIOUS!) At one point, the only playground available to us was fenced off and was available only to teams who wanted to pay to use the field. When my friends and I attempted to play on the school playground, we were chased off by Mr. Badge-Heavy. When we attempted to play on the levee, we were chased off by Mr. Badge-Heavy. (We were all still in elementary school at the time.) Finally, some parents allowed us to play stick ball in the street in front of their homes while they sat on their porches and supervised us.
Who shows up? Mr. Badge-Heavy. He tried to shout at us to stop playing but we were so intent on our game, shouting to each other, that we didn't hear or notice him. What did he do next? He pulled out his service revolver and shot it off over our heads!!!!! :shock: Our parents were LIVID!!!!! We were just a group of elementary school-age CHILDREN all UNDER THE AGE OF 10!!!!! Mr. Badge-Heavy lost his job. For years afterward, he couldn't understand WHY he was terminated as a police officer since he felt he was entitled to do what he wanted to do. What a JERK!!!!
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Today's "Dear Prudence":
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2012/11/dear_prudence_my_half_sister_by_my_father_s_affair_wants_to_meet_the_family.html
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Hi Bones,
Ive read your posts heres and never really commented on your initial post and question.
Yes, in my experience, Ns ALWAYS violate boundaries and even seem more intent on violating them once they know what they are, which to me, is the true sign that they are Ns/personality disordered folks. Most normal people will back off or at least respectfully question your boundaries, but Ns will not back off, inquire or attempt at compromise, they just VIOLATE and assume you are WRONG, they are RIGHT whatever the context. Normal people have empathy and an ability to trust and work toward compromise, but not Ns.
Thanks for this post. All the best to you Bones.
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Hi Bones,
Ive read your posts heres and never really commented on your initial post and question.
Yes, in my experience, Ns ALWAYS violate boundaries and even seem more intent on violating them once they know what they are, which to me, is the true sign that they are Ns/personality disordered folks. Most normal people will back off or at least respectfully question your boundaries, but Ns will not back off, inquire or attempt at compromise, they just VIOLATE and assume you are WRONG, they are RIGHT whatever the context. Normal people have empathy and an ability to trust and work toward compromise, but not Ns.
Thanks for this post. All the best to you Bones.
Thanks, Ales!
N's are BAT-SH*T CRAZY!!!!
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Hi Bones,
Ive read your posts heres and never really commented on your initial post and question.
Yes, in my experience, Ns ALWAYS violate boundaries and even seem more intent on violating them once they know what they are, which to me, is the true sign that they are Ns/personality disordered folks. Most normal people will back off or at least respectfully question your boundaries, but Ns will not back off, inquire or attempt at compromise, they just VIOLATE and assume you are WRONG, they are RIGHT whatever the context. Normal people have empathy and an ability to trust and work toward compromise, but not Ns.
Thanks for this post. All the best to you Bones.
Thanks, Ales!
N's are BAT-SH*T CRAZY!!!!
Bones I always love the way you tell it like it is, always makes me smile :) xx
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Hi Bones,
Ive read your posts heres and never really commented on your initial post and question.
Yes, in my experience, Ns ALWAYS violate boundaries and even seem more intent on violating them once they know what they are, which to me, is the true sign that they are Ns/personality disordered folks. Most normal people will back off or at least respectfully question your boundaries, but Ns will not back off, inquire or attempt at compromise, they just VIOLATE and assume you are WRONG, they are RIGHT whatever the context. Normal people have empathy and an ability to trust and work toward compromise, but not Ns.
Thanks for this post. All the best to you Bones.
Thanks, Ales!
N's are BAT-SH*T CRAZY!!!!
Bones I always love the way you tell it like it is, always makes me smile :) xx
Thanks, (((((((((((((((((((((Tupp))))))))))))))))))))! :)
BTW, here is today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/12-hour-project-people.html
Regarding the hostess who deliberately spiked everyone's drinks without telling them.....I feel that only an N would do something so STUPID!!!! Clearly, the N is NOT thinking about the legal liabilities should one of the guests die from a medical crisis or an accident!
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Spotted this article this morning:
http://news.yahoo.com/judge-supervise-ohio-woman-holding-idiot-sign-104941372.html;_ylt=AmTDi7uQSOQ4r3CAD4snF9gJVux_;_ylu=X3oDMTIxNTFwdjhlBG1pdANBVFQgSG9tZSBXaWRnZXRyb24gVGVzdCAxBHBvcwM0BHNlYwNNZWRpYUF0dFdpZGdldHJvbkFzc2VtYmx5;_ylg=X3oDMTFpNzk0NjhtBGludGwDdXMEbGFuZwNlbi11cwRwc3RhaWQDBHBzdGNhdANob21lBHB0A3NlY3Rpb25z;_ylv=3
I think the driver must be an N! I would LOVE to see how she reacts to the judge showing up with her TODAY!!!!! :D
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121115
With the first letter, I can see both sides. I've known one N-Idiot who persisted in parading her mother into situations that were CLEARLY HAZARDOUS to the Alzheimer's patient's health, safety, and well-being while the N-Idiot crowed: "Look at what a GREAT daughter I am!!!!" One of those times resulted in the patient falling and breaking her hip!!!! The N-Idiot REFUSED to accept responsibility for her negligence claiming that it was the patient's fault NOT hers!!! N-BITCH! :P
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With today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/suicide-survivor-not-at-fault.html
Either the editors who format the letters screwed up without proofreading or the letter-writer is still so distraught that it is difficult for her to put two words together to make a comprehensible sentence. I'm not blaming the letter writer. I understand, all too well, where she is coming from as I have lost family members and friends to suicide. In one situation, a close friend of mine was murdered before her killer took his own life. Under those circumstances, it's very difficult for survivors to be able to think straight so I get it!
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Gotta VENT cuz I am SO ANGRY that I'm fighting the overwhelming urge to B*TCH-SLAP a certain Narcissistic politician for a STUPID comment that he recently came out with! He's claiming he lost because his opponent gave "gifts" to minorities! EXCUSE ME?!?!?!? :? :evil:
When the Homestead Act was passed YEARS and YEARS ago, during the 1800's, and FREE LAND was being given away, my ancestors were EXCLUDED because they were persons of COLOR! When slavery ended and Reconstruction began after the Civil War, my ancestors were promised 40 acres and a mule as reparation for BEING ENSLAVED. THAT NEVER MATERIALIZED! I'm still waiting for my 40 acres and my mule! During the Jim Crow Era, people of COLOR were MURDERED because they wanted EQUALITY, CIVIL RIGHTS like any other human being! My Dad risked being lynched because of the life he chose to lead, which should have been his CIVIL RIGHT and his HUMAN RIGHT! Now this RICH, GREEDY, SELF-CENTERED, RACIST NARCISSISTIC TWIT spews IDIOCY LIKE THIS?!?!?!? DAMN!!!!!!!!!!
Can you tell I'm PISSED OFF MAD!?!?!? :P
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Just spotted a comment that made me laugh! I'm going to paraphrase it here:
"I'm not an astronomer but I'm pretty sure the planets revolve around the sun, NOT you!"
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121116
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/sulking-for-sex.html
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Today's "Dear Margo":
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/not-quite-cyrano.html
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121117
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox" talks about Asperger's in the first letter....
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/asperger-s-explains-it.html
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In today's "Dear Margo", the letter may trigger some flashbacks:
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/when-molestation-is-a-memory.html
The letter writer's father is in complete DENIAL about what occurred when she was a child! This CRIMINAL was attempting to groom the child so that he could go further in his abuse. (Look at what Sandusky did!) If that had been my child and I learned that one of my relatives was doing THAT, the relative would have lost some body parts!!!! :evil: :twisted:
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121118
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/retired-and-dangerous.html
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In today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121119
I don't think "Abby" gets it.
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Today's "Dear Prudence":
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2012/11/dear_prudence_my_daughter_is_excluding_her_half_siblings_from_her_wedding.html
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121120
The last letter sounds as if the son-in-law could be N-ish.
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Today's "Dear Prudence":
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2012/11/dear_prudence_do_i_have_to_stay_with_my_transgender_husband.2.html
Check out the last question which is an update from a few weeks ago. Sounds to me like the grandmother is an N!
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/moving-on-in-her-own-time.html
I might comment on this later.
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In today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121122
In one sense, I can see both sides of this issue. At the same time, I've noticed that the father does not disclose how often he calls or what he insists that they talk about.....that can make a world of difference. I'm not clear on how old the daughter is or if she has children of her own. If the letter writer has YOUNG grandchildren, that is ANOTHER factor. Suppose she's in the middle of giving a baby a bath? There is NO way she's going to stop and answer the phone for ANY reason! His Lordship CAN WAIT! There's also the possibility that the letter writer tends to drone on and on about himself and demands that his daughter be HIS audience for however long HE DEMANDS it!
Any thoughts?
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After reading today's "Dear Prudence":
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2012/11/dear_prudence_i_m_incredibly_attracted_to_much_older_men.html
Oh WOW!!!! Can you imagine literally bumping into Sean Connery!?!?!? :shock: *Wobbly knees*
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Just checking in for the morning..................
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121124
I don't envy the writer's grandmother!
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/options-for-complicated-care.html
The person in question has a gun?!?!?!?!? :shock:
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In today's "Dear Margo":
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/over-and-out-2012-11-24.html
I think the only thing left for her to do is DTMFA given that he's LYING to her and she KNOWS it! With "friends" like that, who needs enemies?
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BTW, I was wondering if anyone saw a case on "Judge Judy" within the past week where the plaintiff was suing a defendant because his glasses got broken? Judge Judy had a FIELD DAY with him! To add to the situation, on national television, the plaintiff commented that he had NEVER watched Judge Judy and had seen no reason to do so! *shaking head*
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I also imprinted on Sean Connery during my first little spurts of hormones.
Then years later I read that he'd slapped his wife because "she needed it."
Suddenly not sexy any more.
Hops
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I also imprinted on Sean Connery during my first little spurts of hormones.
Then years later I read that he'd slapped his wife because "she needed it."
Suddenly not sexy any more.
Hops
Wife-slapping NOT sexy AT ALL!!! :evil:
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In today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121125
A couple of the letters sound like they are describing N's!
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In today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/crude-sexual-teachable.html
It appears there's quite a bit of controversy above and below the line......
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121126
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In today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/in-love-with-a-schizophrenic.html
This 18-year-old kid really has NO concept of what schizophrenia REALLY IS! I've worked with some clients and I've known others, in my social circle, who continue to struggle with this condition. It it NOT easy and it is NOT fun! The Three C's apply here as well.
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In today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/toss-the-fishwrap-lose-the-fire-hazard.html
The first letter has me scratching my head.......
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Today's "Dear Prudence":
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2012/11/dear_prudence_my_fiance_s_family_is_punishing_me_for_having_been_a_teen.html
seem to be dealing with N's......especially Bride-zilla!!! GEEZ!!! :shock: With "friends" like her, who needs enemies?!?!?! I'd tell Bride-zilla to take her wedding and SHOVE IT! :evil:
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This autobiography has me on the edge of my seat!!!!! :shock:
http://www.notonlywomenbleed.com/
YIKES!!!!
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Trouble sleeping......................................
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/sleeping-with-the-boss-again.html
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In today's "Dear Prudence":
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2012/11/dear_prudence_can_i_request_that_our_egg_surrogate_be_white_though_my_wife.html
The first letter writer sounds like a racist to me! :P
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/clingy-mom-clingy-kid.html
GEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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What do you think of today's "Dear Abby"?:
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121201
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Oy. That young man has a long way to go,
and competing with that mother for his attention would be misery.
Hops
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Oy. That young man has a long way to go,
and competing with that mother for his attention would be misery.
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
Are you referring to the letter in "Annie's Mailbox" or "Dear Abby"?
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Today's "Dear Abby": might trigger some of us:
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121202
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In today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/compassionate-friends-worldwide-candlelighting.html
I wonder if I could light a candle in memory of the elder sister who died at birth? I found it very sad that the ONLY time her existence was ever mentioned was in order for the NWomb-Donor to garner attention and sympathy for HERSELF. When I was finally able to get a copy of my sister's stillbirth certificate as part of my genealogy research, hoping I could locate her burial site, I was horrified to learn that her body was treated as if it was nothing more than medical trash that was burned! :shock: She NEVER had any kind of funeral or memorial service. She deserved BETTER than THAT! She deserved to be treated BETTER than a tool for the NWomb-Donor's Narcissism! :evil:
She had NO ONE to fight for HER individuality back in 1948!
As for the second letter.....whenever I see a letter like that, where the letter writer NEVER mentions what led to the conflict and cut-off, I get REAL SUSPICIOUS!!!! The letter-writer gives me the impression that they are trying to portray themselves as the "pure innocents" and that their "rebellious" child is "pure evil". Knowing what the NWomb-Donor did to me and my NGCB, the NWomb-Donor deserved to be cut off......PERMANENTLY!!!!! My gut tells me that the letter writer's daughter has gone NC for good reason!
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Bones, I think it would be lovely if you could remember your sister in some way. I had all sorts of little ceremonies for my dad in my thirties - he died when I was young and, like you, he wasn't really mentioned again and I think I was just too young to grieve for him.
It helped a lot to have rituals, little ways of connecting with him and saying goodbye. You could even make a little area for her, a nice plant or flowers, some candles, a little book of prayers/meditations/spiritual sayings, you know, anything that appeals to you. Just a little corner of your life that gives her the space she never had before. And now I'm going for the big hug:
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Bonesie and sister)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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Bones, I think it would be lovely if you could remember your sister in some way. I had all sorts of little ceremonies for my dad in my thirties - he died when I was young and, like you, he wasn't really mentioned again and I think I was just too young to grieve for him.
It helped a lot to have rituals, little ways of connecting with him and saying goodbye. You could even make a little area for her, a nice plant or flowers, some candles, a little book of prayers/meditations/spiritual sayings, you know, anything that appeals to you. Just a little corner of your life that gives her the space she never had before. And now I'm going for the big hug:
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Bonesie and sister)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Thanks, ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Tupp))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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I'm struggling with an anxiety attack with myself.....and it all started with a casual comment that I sent to a friend of mine regarding a possible ancestor in Germany. I didn't expect the comment to go anywhere other than someone hitting "Like", posting a "Smiley", and then that would be the end of it.
The casual comment has blossomed into a possible job. :shock: The rational part of my brain is stating: "You can DO this! You have the ABILITY!" The irrational part of my brain is running around in panic mode.....if that makes sense....because I'm TERRIFIED that I'm going to accidentally say or do something, because of my possible Asperger's, and SCREW IT UP!
Knowing that my brain is wired differently is an ongoing struggle. :P
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I keep trying to focus on what I CAN do and let go of the results.......
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I'm struggling with an anxiety attack with myself.....and it all started with a casual comment that I sent to a friend of mine regarding a possible ancestor in Germany. I didn't expect the comment to go anywhere other than someone hitting "Like", posting a "Smiley", and then that would be the end of it.
The casual comment has blossomed into a possible job. :shock: The rational part of my brain is stating: "You can DO this! You have the ABILITY!" The irrational part of my brain is running around in panic mode.....if that makes sense....because I'm TERRIFIED that I'm going to accidentally say or do something, because of my possible Asperger's, and SCREW IT UP!
Knowing that my brain is wired differently is an ongoing struggle. :P
Ah Bonesie - can you let them know you have Asperger's? Can you send them and info sheet explaining a bit about it, and ask them to bear in mind some of the things you might experience differently to someone without Asperger's? Be great for you to go for this!!
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I'm struggling with an anxiety attack with myself.....and it all started with a casual comment that I sent to a friend of mine regarding a possible ancestor in Germany. I didn't expect the comment to go anywhere other than someone hitting "Like", posting a "Smiley", and then that would be the end of it.
The casual comment has blossomed into a possible job. :shock: The rational part of my brain is stating: "You can DO this! You have the ABILITY!" The irrational part of my brain is running around in panic mode.....if that makes sense....because I'm TERRIFIED that I'm going to accidentally say or do something, because of my possible Asperger's, and SCREW IT UP!
Knowing that my brain is wired differently is an ongoing struggle. :P
Ah Bonesie - can you let them know you have Asperger's? Can you send them and info sheet explaining a bit about it, and ask them to bear in mind some of the things you might experience differently to someone without Asperger's? Be great for you to go for this!!
Thanks, (((((((((((((((((((Tupp))))))))))))))))))))))))))!
I think that he might be aware since we are on each other's FB pages alot. Right now, he's out of town on a business trip so he's not going to have time to go through his e-mails at the moment. He and I have crossed paths before and I told him then that I consider him a member of my Phamily of Choice since we both came from dysfunctional families. (This was decades before I knew about NPD.) I feel like I can talk to him like a brother. I'm in the process of reading his autobiography and learned that he had a younger sister who died on her sixth birthday! :shock: If he considers me as his Baby Sister, that would be great! Neither one of us has any siblings left.
I'm hoping he will be amenable to the project proposal that I sent him and see what he says. I'm also trying to sketch out a "Plan B" in case "Plan A" doesn't pan out concerning any contacts in Germany. It's not like I can hop onto a Lear jet and fly over the Big Pond. Once I know his thoughts about this, then I'll know what I can and cannot do. The unknown is just scary.
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Bones, I really hope this project works out for you.
I'll bet it's partly BECAUSE of your Asperger's that you are so good at this kind of research.
Focused, able to persist, very logical, and able to just keep looking. I admire you!
As to the communications part, I'd suggest you just avoid using all-caps and exclamation
points when you're doing the professional parts of it...even though he's already a FB friend.
Whenever you feel "worked up" or lost in a communication, stop -- send a draft to
somebody you trust for a second opinion, and that way maybe you can not let your
fears derail you.
I think you'd be (and I'm sure ARE) a just fantastic researcher. Kudos!
(And as to the columns, that Nanchan gives me the willies.) :)
love
Hops
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Bones, I really hope this project works out for you.
I'll bet it's partly BECAUSE of your Asperger's that you are so good at this kind of research.
Focused, able to persist, very logical, and able to just keep looking. I admire you!
As to the communications part, I'd suggest you just avoid using all-caps and exclamation
points when you're doing the professional parts of it...even though he's already a FB friend.
Whenever you feel "worked up" or lost in a communication, stop -- send a draft to
somebody you trust for a second opinion, and that way maybe you can not let your
fears derail you.
I think you'd be (and I'm sure ARE) a just fantastic researcher. Kudos!
(And as to the columns, that Nanchan gives me the willies.) :)
love
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
This friend and I have a shared history and he has seen me dissolve into an emotional "puddle" when he was performing one of his songs. He and I have struggled with similar issues. I think that's why his song touched my soul the way it did.
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For Survivors........
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcVsqXZUxoc
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That was beautiful, (((((Bones))))).
Don't let the howlidays get you down!!
xxoo
Hops
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That was beautiful, (((((Bones))))).
Don't let the howlidays get you down!!
xxoo
Hops
Thanks, ((((((((((((((((Hops))))))))))))))))))))))))
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The last letter in "Dear Abby" has me shaking my head:
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121203
The moron they are describing could be considered a "Frenemy". :P
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox"
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/is-lack-of-commitment-a-problem.html
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121204
Sounds like they are dealing with an N that is SUCKING them dry!
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Regarding the first letter in "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/choose-your-battles.html
Your thoughts?
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The questions in today's "Dear Prudence":
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2012/12/dear_prudence_my_sister_is_being_abused_by_her_husband.html
Sound like they are about the CRAZIES!!!!!!! :shock:
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Regarding the first letter in "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/choose-your-battles.html
Your thoughts?
I've found the best way to deal with these sorts of control issues is to act as if they don't matter. So if the lady goes to the party alone she should be the life and soul, charm the pants off everybody there, talk about how wonderful her new man is and how happy she is and how he was just too busy with work/his own kids/building his yacht/whatever to have come along. I'd really ham it up; I find nothing annoys them more than realising what they think and what they do doesn't matter :)
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Regarding the first letter in "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/choose-your-battles.html
Your thoughts?
I've found the best way to deal with these sorts of control issues is to act as if they don't matter. So if the lady goes to the party alone she should be the life and soul, charm the pants off everybody there, talk about how wonderful her new man is and how happy she is and how he was just too busy with work/his own kids/building his yacht/whatever to have come along. I'd really ham it up; I find nothing annoys them more than realising what they think and what they do doesn't matter :)
Thanks, Tupp.
I would advise the lady that if it were me, and my ex attempted to control me with the crapola of "Do as I say, NOT as I DO", I would simply show up WITH my current love, say "Hello" to the ex's current girlfriend, who is also attending, and enjoy myself at the party while IGNORING EX.
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The first letter writer in "Dear Abby" sounds like she is dealing with an N! :P (The subject could trigger some people.)
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121205
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Checking in..............................
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Today's "Dear Prudence":
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2012/12/dear_prudence_the_young_kids_i_nanny_have_a_65_year_old_mother.html
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121207
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/from-mutual-friends-to-mutual-divorces.html
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Today's "Dear Margo":
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/chri-tmas-hopping-blue.html
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This is SAD!
http://www.creators.com/advice/tales-from-the-front/what-happens-when-parents-don-t-care.html
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121208
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/forgetfulness-more-likely-than-deceipt.html
In one of the letters, the "Temporarily Able-Bodied" just DON'T GET IT! :P
I've witnessed idiots like that, in the NFOO making fun of people with disabilities while bragging how superior they are. The temptation to bitch-slap was OVERWHELMING!
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Today's "Dear Margo":
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/autonomy-even-in-relationships.html
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Happy Hannukah.
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I don't know how many people will be able to access this video from Facebook. I figured the driver HAD to be a Narcissist! The PAYBACK was FUNNY!!!!
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=4067189561613
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121210
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In today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/would-home-alone-make-everyone-happy.html
I kind of feel sorry for the 17-year-old. At the same time, I wouldn't leave anyone that age home alone where the house could get trashed via an impromptu party when friends of friends of friends of friends drop in!
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Checking in..........
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For anyone who likes cats.....I spotted this on YouTube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ctJJrBw7e-c&feature=player_embedded
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Feeling really sad this morning. :cry:
Ravi Shankar died yesterday.
http://music.yahoo.com/news/indian-sitar-virtuoso-ravi-shankar-dies-92-045723085.html
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In today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/would-home-alone-make-everyone-happy.html
I kind of feel sorry for the 17-year-old. At the same time, I wouldn't leave anyone that age home alone where the house could get trashed via an impromptu party when friends of friends of friends of friends drop in!
Wow I was living on my own at 17! Funny how things change over the years.
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In today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/would-home-alone-make-everyone-happy.html
I kind of feel sorry for the 17-year-old. At the same time, I wouldn't leave anyone that age home alone where the house could get trashed via an impromptu party when friends of friends of friends of friends drop in!
Wow I was living on my own at 17! Funny how things change over the years.
Oh, yes! Times have changed!
I remember one of the TV court shows where the defendant took advantage of a house-sitting gig and trashed EVERYTHING that the plaintiff owned! What made it worse was that the plaintiff's family had known the defendant's family for years, had hired the defendant to babysit, pet-sit, or house-sit for short periods of time so the plaintiffs had come to trust the person they were hiring to house-sit again while they were taking a two-week dream vacation that had been planned for several years. Within 24-hours after the plaintiff's family left for their vacation leaving the family vehicle in the driveway, the defendant invited her "friends" over, (without permission), and the "friends" invited their "friends", who, in turn, invited their "friends" until it got completely out of control and the neighbors were forced to call the police. The defendant took the plaintiff's car, that had been left at the house, and wrecked it while trying to take off with her "friends". The plaintiffs were contacted by the neighbors about what had occurred, which forced them to cancel their dream vacation and return home to find everything TRASHED! To add insult to injury, the defendant's attitude was: "Not her property, NOT her problem!" The judge told the defendant that since SHE did it, WITHOUT permission, while the plaintiffs were away, SHE IS RESPONSIBLE for paying for ALL the damages. The defendant's parents got all huffy because someone had DARED to say "NO" to THEIR DAUGHTER! :P
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Whoa.......................
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2012/12/dear_prudence_should_i_reach_out_to_the_family_of_the_man_my_brother_killed.html
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The second letter in "Dear Margo" describes a familiar scenario:
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/when-sticky-fingers-are-a-sticky-wicket.html
Sounds like an N to me who is displaying the attitude of: "I am going to FORCE you to DO WHAT I WANT MY WAY because I OWN YOU!" :P
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121214
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Today's "Dear Margo":
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/tis-the-season-to-give-peace-a-fighting-chance.html
YIKES!!!!!
I would NOT let THAT get anywhere near any child!!!!!!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121215
The father in the first letter is TOO MUCH!!!!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121216
"Dear Abby" is CLUELESS!!!!!!
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I can empathize with the first letter writer:
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/always-a-volunteer-never-a-host.html
If her home is not large enough to accommodate everyone, then she should NOT be verbally or emotionally abused about it!
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Shaking my head at today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121217
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I was watching an episode of Adam-12 earlier today. One of the situations that Reed and Malloy responded to made me do a double-take.
The first time I saw this episode, about 40 years ago, there was a LOT of things that I didn't know yet so some things went right over my head. This particular situation that I was watching, again, made me realize that I was watching an NC situation unfold with the two police officers being placed in an awkward situation between a daughter setting healthy boundaries and an N who was HELL-BENT on FORCING her daughter to do what SHE wanted and blamed the daughter for her own drinking because the daughter REFUSED to OBEY the mother's orders! (The N-mother's orders was for the daughter to leave her husband and kids and move back home with mother and live with HER FOREVER!) Can't blame the daughter for saying NO and shutting the door!
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/don-t-diss-the-drawal.html
On a side note, I may have had a problem solve itself recently. Some time ago, I had mentioned Cousin Jackass bugging me with demands that a mutual friend "Friend" him on Facebook and I had explained to him that she will Friend him in her own time. (Translation: "People will NOT obey your dictates and your orders. That is NOT the way Facebook works.) The mutual friend NEVER DID "Friend" him. Then I discovered that he DE-FRIENDED me. COOL! :D One less headache to deal with! THANK YOU!! :lol:
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Today's "Dear Prudence":
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2012/12/dear_prudence_my_husband_is_suspicious_that_i_wasn_t_raped.html
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I'm struggling for words right now.
First the massacre in Newtown, Connecticut. Then, a few minutes ago, I received a phone call from my second cousin...the one who is homeless. She was unable to find my phone number until today to call me. During the phone call, I learned that her husband was gunned down three months ago. She was too drunk to tell me any details before the call was terminated. She did attempt to demand money...again.
Dysfunction just doesn't even begin to describe this mess! :P
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I'm really sorry, Bones. What a sad, sad end for him.
And it doesn't sound as though she's doing well at all.
What a relief that you DID survive and extricate yourself from those bioroots.
(Keep crocheting, I always think of you as that beautiful reef...)
love,
Hops
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I'm really sorry, Bones. What a sad, sad end for him.
And it doesn't sound as though she's doing well at all.
What a relief that you DID survive and extricate yourself from those bioroots.
(Keep crocheting, I always think of you as that beautiful reef...)
love,
Hops
Thanks, Hops. I really appreciate this.
One of the things I did do was look up some county resources to relay to a go-between where she is staying temporarily. That's the best I can do. I refuse to subsidize her drinking.
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This brought tears to my eyes:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=IO64urOFNaY
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Regarding the last letter in "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121219
I think "Abby" is completely CLUELESS!!!!
These "kids" are both OVER 30 YEARS OLD! The aunt had EVERY right to resume contact with her niece and nephew! The mother of these two ADULT CHILDREN sounds like a typical N!
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I'm struggling for words right now.
First the massacre in Newtown, Connecticut. Then, a few minutes ago, I received a phone call from my second cousin...the one who is homeless. She was unable to find my phone number until today to call me. During the phone call, I learned that her husband was gunned down three months ago. She was too drunk to tell me any details before the call was terminated. She did attempt to demand money...again.
Dysfunction just doesn't even begin to describe this mess! :P
What I often struggle with is that the ONLY time I hear from NWomb-Donor's side of the family, (the homeless cousin is from that side of the tree), is when they want to DEMAND something that I CANNOT give or have NO INTEREST in providing!
Under the category of CANNOT GIVE......MONEY! I'm a retiree, with medical issues, medical bills, struggling with a FIXED INCOME.
Under the category of NO INTEREST IN PROVIDING......subsidizing a relative's alcoholism and/or drug addiction; providing sex on demand because the NWomb-Donor has them convinced that I'm the "Family Whore". :P
The more I look at NWomb-Donor's side of the Family Tree, the more I'm convinced that they are ALL BAT-SHIT CRAZY!!!!!
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The first couple of letters in "Dear Abby" appear to be about N's:
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121220
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/may-december-mentoring.html
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Today's "Dear Prudence":
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2012/12/dear_prudence_is_it_ok_not_to_tell_the_baby_s_father_if_he_s_a_jerk.html
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox:"
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/living-with-lupus.html
YIKES!!!!!
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121221
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Today's "Dear Margo":
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/season-s-greetings.html
The letter about the father and step-brother sounds familiar................................
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I'm really sorry, Bones. What a sad, sad end for him.
And it doesn't sound as though she's doing well at all.
What a relief that you DID survive and extricate yourself from those bioroots.
(Keep crocheting, I always think of you as that beautiful reef...)
love,
Hops
Thanks, Hops. I really appreciate this.
One of the things I did do was look up some county resources to relay to a go-between where she is staying temporarily. That's the best I can do. I refuse to subsidize her drinking.
I called the person back, who owns the cell phone that the homeless cousin borrowed. After it rang several times, it went to voice mail and I left a list of county resources that could be tapped into......Social Services, Office of the Aged, Adult Protective Services, 2-1-1, 3-1-1, the Homeless Hotline, etc. (During her "monologue" to me, she mentioned that her son is doing okay. I have the feeling she tried to hit him up for money and he gave her the same response I did.....NO.)
I have not heard back from either of them. I won't be surprised if I don't get another phone call for another several months until she thinks she can attempt to demand money again. She doesn't understand what the word "NO" means. I will NOT subsidize her drinking.
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I'm still struggling with the emotions from the aftermath of the Sandy Hook Elementary School massacre. I used to work in a school for the Deaf and this horror made me wonder what could I have done if such a monster attacked the school? A close friend of mine was murdered by her unstable boyfriend, who then called his sister and forced her to listen as he shot himself.
My stomach is in KNOTS!
Until the Newtown, Connecticut police finish their criminal investigation, NO ONE will know the HOW or WHY this happened. There is evidence that the public does NOT have access to......only the police know at this time and they are still piecing the puzzle together. Until then, we can only speculate.....and the speculations don't have any concrete evidence to base opinions on.
The violence that was committed by this one disturbed person made me think of an incident that occurred several years ago at the school for the Deaf. There was this one student who was constantly out of control. His behavior was so disruptive that he made the cartoon Tasmanian Devil appear cool, calm, and collected. Every single time the school administrators attempted to address each incident with him, his mother would scream lawsuit! One incident sent a teacher to the emergency room because he punched her in the face and ripped her upper lip in two! The student was suspended for the assault and, of course, his mother screamed lawsuit. (All of this was occurring within an elementary to middle school setting.) When it was time to consider transferring to the high school, (where I was working), the file folder of documented incidents was more than an inch thick. Fortunately, the high school was not required to admit all applicants and when his application came across the desk of the Admissions Office, the school administrators said NO because the way the school building and program is structured, it would have been impossible to contain his out of control behaviors. Because I was working as an administrative secretary, I was one of the recipients of the mother's FREQUENT phone calls, screaming in my ear, that if we DARED say NO, SHE was going to SUE US for DISCRIMINATION! I think the only thing that finally stopped her was when the school's lawyer got involved and sent her a letter.
Then there was another high school student, that I encountered during my employment there, who thought it was funny to set things on fire. The first, AND LAST, time he committed arson within the school, he was immediately expelled. The reactions of his parents was to threaten to sue the school if their son was not immediately reinstated as a student!
Two students with out of control behaviors and the parents' behavior was to threaten lawsuits because the school DARED TO SAY NO.
Edit in: Another student was brought to my office because he was spotted with a butcher knife. He freely admitted that he was hunting down another particular student to stab him! He was also immediately expelled for obvious reasons. There is a ZERO TOLERANCE POLICY regarding weapons brought to school. His guardian pulled all kinds of stunts and tricks to attempt to force us to reinstate him. At the same time, the expelled student attempted to pay one of his friends to hunt down his target and kill him. The friend, who was approached to do this, immediately reported this to my office and it was turned over to the campus and local police. Did the guardian accept this? Nope. The guardian kept up the pressure to reinstate him....even getting a local politician involved in calling my office to demand reinstatement. Made me wonder what planet they were living on when they were told WHY the expulsion had to stand and they kept persisting in pressuring us to rescind the expulsion.
I just don't understand ANY OF THIS!
Edit in: I recently got the latest edition of People magazine that shows the pictures of the 26 victims of Sandy Hook Elementary School. Those 20 INNOCENT babies were all BEAUTIFUL! How can anyone claim that this massacre was only a hoax and/or part of a government conspiracy?!?!?!? DAMN!!!!
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121223
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/good-school-life-balance-teaches-good-work-life-balance.html
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My friend's son, who has schizoaffective disorder, is so scary at times she has to lock all the kitchen knives in the trunk of the car.
He's been hospitalized, but is always discharged...to the care of my friend and her disabled husband. Their lives are just untenable. The stress will wind up kiling them, and then he'll be on his own, or on the streets.
He's smart and can be charming and his illness is episodic, so there are no enforcable controls. You can't force a tall young man over age 21 to take pills he doesn't want to take.
Hops
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My friend's son, who has schizoaffective disorder, is so scary at times she has to lock all the kitchen knives in the trunk of the car.
He's been hospitalized, but is always discharged...to the care of my friend and her disabled husband. Their lives are just untenable. The stress will wind up kiling them, and then he'll be on his own, or on the streets.
He's smart and can be charming and his illness is episodic, so there are no enforceable controls. You can't force a tall young man over age 21 to take pills he doesn't want to take.
Hops
That is frightening!
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/quality-audio-or-bust.html
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121224
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I noticed the thread regarding Newtown has disappeared.
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Merry Christmas.
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In today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121226
I don't think she gets it.
Regarding the 13-year-old who refuses to wear a bike helmet......if I were his mother, I'd tell him......NO helmet? NO BIKE! And I would take the bicycle apart or get rid of it. I've seen what has happened when a child's skull hit the pavement in a bicycle accident! NOT PRETTY!
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121227
BTW, if you get a chance to go see the new movie "Les Miserables" starring Hugh Jackman, Russell Crowe, and Anne Hathaway....GO SEE IT and be sure to take a box of tissues with you as it will make you cry! For anyone who has been a Les Miz fan since 1985, from the original stage production in England, you will find a surprise within the movie!
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I hope this is permitted. He has helped me in my path to recovery and now he is asking for help. I said I would share his request and try to help in my own small way:
ALRIGHT MY FRIENDS...I AM ABOUT TO ASK A HUGE FAVOR FROM YOU, HOPING YOU WILL GO AN EXTRA MILE FOR ME.
MY BOOK, NOT ONLY WOMEN BLEED IS NOW OFFICIALLY AVAILABLE WORLDWIDE THROUGH INGRAM BOOKS, THE LARGEST BOOK DISTRIBUTOR IN THE WORLD. THEY DISTRIBUTE TO LIKE 190 COUNTRIES, AND SUPPLY THOUSANDS OF BOOK TITLES, ONE OF WHICH IS MINE...I NEED TO START 2013 OFF WITH A SURGE IN SALES IN ORDER TO KEEP THEM LOOKING UPON MY BOOK AS A SPECIAL 'LITERARY' SENSATION. I AM A LITTLE WRITER IN A BIG WORLD OF WRITERS AND PUBLISHERS...COMPETITION IN THE GENERAL PUBLIC IS FEIRCE AND TO STAY ON TOP AND BECOME A BEST SELLER IS A GAME THAT IS HARD TO PLAY AND WIN. i NEED YOU TO HELP ME. i NEED YOU TO CALL AND PLACE ORDERS FOR MY BOOK THROUGH BARNES AND NOBLE, AND AMAZON...BOTH DISTRIBUTED BY INGRAM TO GIVE ME A SURGE AT THE DISTRIBUTOR'S WHICH LEADS TO BEST SELLER LISTS, AND OPENING UP NEW MARKETS AND RETAINING THE PHENOMENAL INTEREST THEY HAVE SHOWN ME SO FAR. JUST ORDERING THROUGH NOTONLYWOMENBLEED.COM BY PASSES THE REAL MARKET WHERE BOOKS ARE MAKE IT OR BREAK IT, RUTHLESS BATTLE DRIVEN CORPORATE GAMESMENSHIP. i TRULY NEED YOUR HELP. nOTONLYWOMENBLEED IS CONSIDERED TO BE A GREAT READ AND A GREAT BUY, BY AN OVERWHELMING NUMBER OF THOSE WHO HAVE READ IT SO FAR, AND IS POISED FOR BEST SELLER STAUS. iF YOU ARE STILL WITH ME ON WHAT EVER I'VE DONE FOR YOUR WORLD THROUGH THE YEARS, I NEED YOUR SUPPORT ON THIS BOOK MORE THAN ANY RECORD OR PIECE OF MUSIC YOU'VE ENJOYED. tHANK YOU MY DEAR FRIENDS, WORLD OVER...I LOVE YOU ALL AND ASK YOU NOW TO GO TO BARNES AND NOBLE OR AMAZON AND BUY/ORDER THE BOOK, AND/OR LEAVE A REVIEW AND HELP ME TAKE THIS BOOK TO THE TOP.
dICK wAGNER
MAESTRO OF ROCK
His book also includes two CD's.
Thanks for listening!
Bones
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121228
GEEZ!!!!!!! :shock:
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Today's "Dear Margo":
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/jekyll-and-hyde-roommate.html
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In today's "Dear Margo":
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/when-a-granny-doesn-t-like-her-grandchild.html
I don't like this grandmother! :P
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/nagging-is-part-of-parenting.html
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121229
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I don't blame this college student at all!
http://gma.yahoo.com/college-student-wins-stalking-order-against-parents-084658542--abc-news-parenting.html
These N-parents have this delusion of....."Boundaries? You have NO right to stinking boundaries! WE OWN YOU!" I'm glad the judge issued the stalking order against these N-parents!
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They also accused their daughter of promiscuity, doing drugs, and having mental issues to the point where they were considering going to court to order that she get treatment.
All things done to me in high school. I wish legal action had been an option for me, but back then, the schools, and even mental health professionals, always sided with the parents. If my mother said I was doing drugs, well then ... I was.
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They also accused their daughter of promiscuity, doing drugs, and having mental issues to the point where they were considering going to court to order that she get treatment.
All things done to me in high school. I wish legal action had been an option for me, but back then, the schools, and even mental health professionals, always sided with the parents. If my mother said I was doing drugs, well then ... I was.
Far as I'm concerned....NWomb-Donors are nothing but BITCHES!!!! :P
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In the last letter of "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121230
It sounds like the groom-to-be is dealing with an N. "Abby" suggests an elopement. If I could, I would tell "Abby" that she just doesn't GET IT regarding N's. Even if he took up the suggestion and eloped with his bride, the KING N would find some way to BITCH and make it ALL ABOUT HIMSELF while blaming his daughter and new son-in-law because they DARED TO DEFY HIM!!!!!!
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20121231
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/make-peace-with-the-line-in-the-sand.html
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130101
Happy New Year.
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In today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130102
Something tells me that the NBrother-in-law is STILL going to REFUSE to accept NO for an answer!
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/depressed-and-off-her-meds.html
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Yep! These stalker parents are clearly N!
http://news.cincinnati.com/article/20121225/NEWS0107/312230085?fb_ref=artactivity
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/fired-for-insubordination-really.html
Yikes!!!!
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130103
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Today's "Dear Prudence":
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/01/dear_prudence_my_white_boyfriend_said_the_n_word.html
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130104
DANG!!!!!!! :shock:
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/don-t-even-try-to-please-negative-nina.html
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One of my favorite authors, and favorite speakers at Star Trek conventions suffered a stroke while on vacation with his family. Based on my own experiences dealing with medical issues, there will be expenses that his insurance won't cover. A group of us are trying to do what we can to help:
http://www.davidmack.pro/blog/?p=4414
So I'm trying to help spread the word............................................
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In today's "Dear Margo":
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/of-relatives-and-high-horses.html
This sounds painfully familiar.....never being good enough no matter how hard you try..................
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130105
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Let's unite to STOP ABUSE:
https://www.facebook.com/forthewomanoftheworld
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130106
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox"
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/holding-all-the-cards-with-the-kids.html
Sounds familiar.........................
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This also sounds painfully familiar:
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/out-of-love-with-the-in-laws.html
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130107
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In today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130108
With "friends" like this, who needs enemies??????????????
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In today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/help-bio-mom-see-contact-in-a-positive-light.html
Sounds like the letter writer is caught between a rock and a hard place.
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Today's "Dear Prudence":
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/01/dear_prudence_how_do_i_tell_my_mother_she_s_wearing_her_makeup_all_wrong.html
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/still-ok-to-cuddle-with-mom-at-13.html
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And today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130109
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130110
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In today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/emotional-affairs-taking-their-toll.html
The second letter caught my interest.
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Today's "Dear Prudence":
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/01/dear_prudence_my_son_s_onetime_dentist_has_been_arrested_for_child_porn.html
YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/feeling-guilty-about-mr-good-times.html
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In today's "Dear Margo":
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/conflicted-about-long-lost-mother.html
I think Margo missed some clues here....................
One of the letter writers described incidents where the privacy of her journal was violated by a former stepmother and Margo made no comment?!?!?!?!? No acknowledgement, NOTHING!
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130111
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Did anyone see a recent case on Judge Judy where two co-plaintiffs were attempting to sue the mother of one of them for supposed "loans" and car insurance?
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In today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/mom-and-daughter-double-trouble.html
Given the description that the child's mother may be abusing drugs again, I've seen no mention of the possibility that the MOTHER might be TAKING THE CHILD'S ADHD MEDS and ABUSING her daughter's meds, preventing the child from having proper treatment. I see too many possibilities here.....all of them BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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The last letter in "Dear Margo":
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/compelled-to-be-a-doormat.html
Sounds familiar................
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I can't handle these columnists' SO-brief and shallow advice sometimes.
Cary Tennis really does it for me, and Carolyn Hax...
hugs
Hops
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I can't handle these columnists' SO-brief and shallow advice sometimes.
Cary Tennis really does it for me, and Carolyn Hax...
hugs
Hops
Sometimes I wonder if the columnists are pulling their so-called "advice" out of a fortune cookie........
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In today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/alcohol-changes-him.html
The advice columnists are OUT OF TOUCH!!!! Those of us who have dealt with alcoholism with family members could have given BETTER advice!
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130113
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That first letter in today's "Dear Abby" concerns me:
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130114
Everything the writer is describing sounds like neglect to me....................
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/living-with-slobs.html
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A friend of mine gave me some money as a belated Christmas present and said to buy whatever I want with it. I went ahead and bought some crochet books, a couple of crochet hooks, and some roving to spin into yarn. I had enough left over to purchase a K-cup carousel to organize my coffee.
Why am I feeling guilty?
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Because you forget that you are a good person who is perfectly
deserving of the kindness of being given a gift...
Just let it in. (It might make you cry, since it's because of past
abuse that you have to work hard to recognize present love.)
But this is good practice! And it feels better and better the more
you learn to be kind and loving to yourself and not push it away.
xo
Hops
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A friend of mine gave me some money as a belated Christmas present and said to buy whatever I want with it. I went ahead and bought some crochet books, a couple of crochet hooks, and some roving to spin into yarn. I had enough left over to purchase a K-cup carousel to organize my coffee.
Why am I feeling guilty?
I agree with everything Hopsie said, Bones. I still feel guilty about spending money on myself. I have no social life at all, and decided that this year I am going to go out once a month, even if it's just for a coffee. It will cost a lot less than I spend on healthcare products and practitioners and I suspect do me as much good. But I find it incredibly difficult to allow myself money JUST TO HAVE A GOOD TIME. It's like there has to be a purpose behind it that everyone would agree is okay. It's hard to let those old feelings go completely. You deserve this little treat. Your friend obviously thinks enough of you to want you to treat yourself. I say good for her and good for you, too!
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Bonesie))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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Because you forget that you are a good person who is perfectly
deserving of the kindness of being given a gift...
Just let it in. (It might make you cry, since it's because of past
abuse that you have to work hard to recognize present love.)
But this is good practice! And it feels better and better the more
you learn to be kind and loving to yourself and not push it away.
xo
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
It's easier said than done while I continue practicing one day at a time.
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A friend of mine gave me some money as a belated Christmas present and said to buy whatever I want with it. I went ahead and bought some crochet books, a couple of crochet hooks, and some roving to spin into yarn. I had enough left over to purchase a K-cup carousel to organize my coffee.
Why am I feeling guilty?
I agree with everything Hopsie said, Bones. I still feel guilty about spending money on myself. I have no social life at all, and decided that this year I am going to go out once a month, even if it's just for a coffee. It will cost a lot less than I spend on healthcare products and practitioners and I suspect do me as much good. But I find it incredibly difficult to allow myself money JUST TO HAVE A GOOD TIME. It's like there has to be a purpose behind it that everyone would agree is okay. It's hard to let those old feelings go completely. You deserve this little treat. Your friend obviously thinks enough of you to want you to treat yourself. I say good for her and good for you, too!
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Bonesie))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Thanks, ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Tupp)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
It's hard to make those old tapes stop playing. Know what I mean?
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/paranoid-hubby.html
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130115
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Just checking in................
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130117
Still thinking about that first letter.....................................................
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/friendly-with-the-ex.html
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In today's "Dear Prudence":
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/01/dear_prudence_my_brother_and_i_kiss_and_cuddle.html
If I were "Who's Rite", I would keep my kid AWAY FROM THAT CRAZY BITCH!!!!!!
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Hi ((((Bones))) --
Thought you might appreciate this tribute:
http://www.cnn.com/2013/01/17/showbiz/dear-abby-pauline-phillips-obit/index.html?hpt=hp_t1
The commenters are really touching, and make me appreciate YOU.
love to you,
Hops
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Hi ((((Bones))) --
Thought you might appreciate this tribute:
http://www.cnn.com/2013/01/17/showbiz/dear-abby-pauline-phillips-obit/index.html?hpt=hp_t1
The commenters are really touching, and make me appreciate YOU.
love to you,
Hops
Thanks, ((((((((((((((((((((((((Hops))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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I just finished watching an episode of Judge Judy where a plaintiff was suing to have her parrot returned. The more the plaintiff ran her mouth, the more she sounded like an N! Totally BAT-SHIT CRAZY!!!!
Edit in: BTW, the parrot involved is the type of breed that REQUIRES A LOT of attention and mental stimulation. Otherwise, they get bored and develop behavioral issues. Can you imagine an N owning such a pet?
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/negative-nancy.html
Painfully familiar.............................
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Today's "Dear Margo":
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/whose-life-is-it-anyway.html
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Today's tribute from Jeanne Phillips to her mother, the late Pauline Phillips also known as "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130118
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Today's "Dear Margo":
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/when-not-to-sleuth-around.html
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130119
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130120
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/this-reconnection-will-require-an-acknowledgment.html
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130121
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/good-old-fashioned-hostile-hospitality.html
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Today's "Dear Prudence":
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/01/dear_prudence_is_my_engagement_ring_diamond_too_small.html
When I read about the child who became ill when he ate pasta, the first thought that hit my brain was either food allergy or some sort of intolerance of an ingredient that is normally in pasta......gluten maybe? Nowhere was there a mention of this child being tested for food intolerance or other potential digestive issues. The only thing mentioned was migraines. Some people have lactose intolerance, others react badly to certain ingredients that is a part of a food. Knowing what I know of different pasta dishes.....it's possible it's not just the pasta but whatever else was mixed with it that he could have had a reaction to......cheese, tomatoes, spices, meat, etc.
Instead of labeling the child as an "embarrassment to the family", suggesting cognitive behavioral therapy, etc., WHEN will this 10-year-old child be medically tested for potential digestive problems?!?!?!?!? GEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/dreading-the-shock-of-home.html
*Shaking head*
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Needing to practice setting some boundaries today.
I posted a photo on my FB page with a comment that it is TIME to STEP UP, SPEAK UP, and STOP THE VIOLENCE....ESPECIALLY when it involves CHILDREN as tools! I've received demands, from one individual, ordering me to remove it from MY page because HE does NOT approve of my opinions! I told him to change his own Newsfeed. No one has the right to dictate what I SHOULD THINK. NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO DICTATE that I should remain SILENT in the face of violence! NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO ATTEMPT TO TAKE MY VOICE AWAY FROM ME because they DO NOT APPROVE!
If certain individuals don't approve of my protesting against violence, I will borrow the words from David Gerrold and tell them: "GET OFF MY LAWN!"
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Needing to practice setting some boundaries today.
I posted a photo on my FB page with a comment that it is TIME to STEP UP, SPEAK UP, and STOP THE VIOLENCE....ESPECIALLY when it involves CHILDREN as tools! I've received demands, from one individual, ordering me to remove it from MY page because HE does NOT approve of my opinions! I told him to change his own Newsfeed. No one has the right to dictate what I SHOULD THINK. NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO DICTATE that I should remain SILENT in the face of violence! NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO ATTEMPT TO TAKE MY VOICE AWAY FROM ME because they DO NOT APPROVE!
If certain individuals don't approve of my protesting against violence, I will borrow the words from David Gerrold and tell them: "GET OFF MY LAWN!"
Just got a PM from the one individual ordering me to remove the photo from MY page, repeating his DEMAND that I remove the picture from MY PERSONAL PAGE......his reasoning......he prefers to live in a Star Wars Role-playing FANTASY WORLD where THIS kind of stuff NEVER exists! :? WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!? He actually believes the ENTIRE UNIVERSE REVOLVES AROUND WHAT HE LIKES AND WANTS and that ANYTHING UNPLEASANT MAGICALLY VANISHES WHEN IGNORED.....just like a computer game?!?!?!?
Excu-u-u-u-u-use me, sir, but WHAT PLANET ARE YOU LIVING ON?!?!?!?!?!? :shock:
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Aww, sweet Bones.
Your CAPS ROCK.
xo
Hops
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Aww, sweet Bones.
Your CAPS ROCK.
xo
Hops
Thanks, (((((((((((((((((((((((((Hops)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))).
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/midlife-crisis-threatens-marriage.html
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130124
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Today's Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/keeping-kosher-despite-her-friends.html
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Today's "Dear Margo":
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/mr-clean-he-is-not.html
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130125
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130126
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox": is about estranged grandparents. I get the feeling that NONE of them have walked in our shoes.
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/good-news-for-struggling-grandparents.html
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Today's "Dear Margo":
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/judge-not.html
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130127
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"Dear Abby" for today:
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130128
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Today's "Dear Prudence":
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/01/dear_prudence_my_friend_s_ivf_treatments_are_being_funded_by_the_rest_of.html
IVF Fundraising parties?!?!?!?!? :? WTF????????????????????????????
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130129
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/the-more-parents-accept-the-more-kids-push.html
"Annie's Mailbox"
Looks like I missed a day with all the upheaval going on in my home.
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Another "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/both-life-and-bonuses-can-be-unfair.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/money-and-kids.html
Today's "Annie's Mailbox".
The letter about the guy and his dogs has me shaking my head.
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130130
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130131
"Dear Abby" for today.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/how-do-you-approach-what-seems-to-be-a-ticking-time-bomb.html
"Annie's Mailbox" for today.
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When I started reading this:
http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/drama-queen-upsets-co-workers-weekly.html
I thought to myself......"OH %$#@!"
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Today's "Dear Prudence":
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/01/dear_prudence_i_was_cruel_to_the_kid_i_baby_sat_and_now_i_regret_it.html
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Once again.....they are CLUELESS!
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/rotating-dinner-gone-horribly-awry.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/a-letter-from-a-hatfield-no-mccoy.html
Today's "Dear Margo".
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Today's "Dear Margo":
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/to-love-versus-quot-being-in-love-quot.html
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/too-young-to-be-so-useless.html
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I'm reading this:
http://www.creators.com/advice/everyday-cheapskate/when-parents-feel-entitled.html
and shaking my head.
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130202
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130203
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/what-s-weighing-dad-down.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/untying-the-common-law-knot.html
Today's "Annie's Mailbox"
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130204
Today's "Dear Abby".
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I was watching an episode of Judge Judy this afternoon and she was REALLY going off on a plaintiff who was clearly living in LA-LA-LAND!!!! He had fired a gun at the defendant and his family, got arrested for it, then had the audacity to try to sue for FALSE ARREST! :shock: Boy, did Judge Judy rip him a NEW ONE!!!!!
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Reading the first letter in today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130205
Sounds painfully familiar as this is what the NB*tch used to do ALL the time! She was convinced she knew more than the doctors and that her decrees were LAW.
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I think everyone at "Annie's Mailbox" are clueless today:
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/who-gave-who-what.html
I can see a different perspective......it's not WHAT was done but the WAY it was done! It looks like a family conference is in order to try and clear the air.....if possible.
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Today's "Dear Prudence":
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/02/dear_prudence_i_m_being_pursued_by_a_celebrity_cad_should_i_sleep_with_him.html
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Whatever has happened to Critical Thinking?
*scratches head*
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/little-brother-lost.html
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130206
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Watching the newest cases on "Judge Judy" yesterday evening SCARED me!!!! WHERE do these kids learn screwed up values like THAT?!?!? Beating the crap out of a total stranger simply because they felt like it and laughed about it in court?!?!?! GEEZ!!!! :shock:
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130207
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The first letter in "Annie's Mailbox": http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/take-suicide-talk-seriously.html brings back memories of the kids I used to work with years ago. Us adults had to work hard to convince these kids that telling us that a friend is suicidal is not "snitching" and that it would save the friend's life!
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Reading "Dear Prudence" today: http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/02/dear_prudence_my_little_girl_might_be_racist_how_do_i_stop_it.html
Makes me wonder, WHERE is this 6-year-old learning this kind of attitude?!?!? It reminds me of the song from the musical "South Pacific"....."They have to be carefully taught....."
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/finding-compassion-after-suicide.html
Touches on a LOT of painfully FAMILIAR scenarios!
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Today's "Dear Margo":
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/a-brother-becomes-distant.html
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130208
YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :shock:
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LOVE the first letter in "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/the-maid.html
HEE-HEE!!!! :lol:
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox" could trigger some flashbacks:
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/no-gifts-from-her-abuser.html
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130210
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Trouble sleeping..................
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130212
"Dear Abby" for today.
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In today's "Annie's Mailbox"
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/second-chair-husband.html
The letters about dogs at funerals seem to be ignoring that there HAS been precedences for this.
I remember seeing pictures of a dog, who refused to leave his master's side during his funeral. His master had been a soldier who had been killed either in Iraq or Afghanistan. The dog maintained a vigil beside the coffin during the wake and funeral. Seeing that picture made me cry!
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/celebrating-anna-again-and-again.html
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130213
GEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm shaking my head!
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Has anyone seen the court show, "Judge Judy" recently? The case I watched last night gave me the impression that the plaintiff, suing over a pure-bred dog with AKC papers was a SCREAMING N!!!! Judge Judy wiped the floor with her!!!!
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/valentines-for-vets.html
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130213
GEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm shaking my head!
Wow, me too! What a bizarre situation - and kind of odd that they tell their mum all about it as well, I thought? It's the sort of thing I'd rather not know about.
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130213
GEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm shaking my head!
Wow, me too! What a bizarre situation - and kind of odd that they tell their mum all about it as well, I thought? It's the sort of thing I'd rather not know about.
Yeah! Very bizarre! It's like something out of a talk show like Steve Wilkos or Jerry Springer! *shaking head*
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Today's "Dear Margo":
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/high-society.html
Regarding the second letter about the guy who came out to his parents....his "mother" sounds like a typical N. Her comments, in reaction to her son, could be translated to: "How DARE you do THIS to MOI!?!?!? People will think less of ME because of some THING like YOU! You are NOT good enough to be seen around ME! I will NOT permit YOU to see your siblings because you are a TOXIC DUMP to MY ROYAL SELF!!"
The letter writer's father was more HUMAN and HUMANE!
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When I was reading this advice column:
http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/boss-has-problem-never-seen-before.html
I thought: "YIKES!!!! His employee is an N!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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When I read the second letter in today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/could-compatibility-be-enough.html
Makes me wonder where the grandmother thinks that she can get off DICTATING to her granddaughter WHO to invite to the wedding?!? Grandmother needs to keep her LIP ZIPPED, BACK OFF and BUTT OUT!!!! SHE'S NOT FOOTING THE BILL!!!!
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Regarding the first letter in today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130215
The same goes for funeral homes too!!!!!
To clarify:
In December 1966, one of my aunts was dying of cancer and had reached the point where medication was NOT touching the pain! While we were visiting her for the last time, another relative on my uncle's side showed up with a BRAT in tow! The reason I call him a BRAT is because as soon as they came in the door, his mother turned him loose and he behaved like the Tasmanian Devil while his mother cooed: "Oh-h-h-h! Isn't my little Johnny SO-O-O CUTE!!!!!" Then the Tasmanian Devil went into my aunt's room and started using her deathbed as if it was HIS TRAMPOLINE!!!! You can imagine how my dying aunt reacted to THAT!!!! Her eldest sister, (my NWomb-donor), yanked him off the bed, several times, and the Tasmanian Devil's mother started screaming in protest because someone DARED say the word "NO" and make HER little Johnny MAD!
Less than two weeks later, my aunt died. At the funeral home, the Disastrous Duo show up and, once again, the Tasmanian Devil is turned loose IN THE FUNERAL HOME! First, he started ripping apart the flowers around my aunt's casket and my cousins and I stopped him. He attempted to climb on top of my aunt's casket and my cousins and I stopped him from that! His mother SCREAMED at us because we DARED to interfere with her pride and joy's happiness! (WTF?!? :?) Then he disappeared into the hallway and my cousins and I caught him attempting to pull a fully-loaded fire extinguisher off the wall. (Those things WEIGH A TON and he could have KILLED himself as it would have toppled directly on top of him!) To ensure his safety, we stopped him. Again, the IMPERIOUS QUEEN screamed at us because we DARED make HER child UNHAPPY! The Tasmanian Devil immediately darts into another room where another group of mourners are gathered and he proceeds to wreak havoc in there....ripping the flowers to pieces, etc. When my cousins and I ran into the room, we were mortified to find the Tasmanian Devil ON TOP OF A STRANGER'S CASKET, kicking, screaming, and biting the people who were trying to get him OFF! :shock: My cousins and I managed to get him off and out of that room while apologizing profusely to these COMPLETE STRANGERS! Once again, the Tasmanian Devil's mother SCREAMS AT US because we were not permitting her DARLING LITTLE ANGEL to DO WHAT HE WANTS! In her eyes, her son could do no wrong! :roll:
The final straw was when the Tasmanian Devil disappeared......AGAIN.......and I went searching for him while my cousins stayed with our grandmother. I first checked the other room to make sure he hadn't gone back to bother the strangers again...he wasn't there, thank God! Then I saw movement out of the corner of my eye and turned around just in time to see him dart through a door marked "EMPLOYEES ONLY". I couldn't get there fast enough because I could only imagine what kind of stuff funeral homes have back there and the place is NOT child-proofed! I couldn't push the door all the way open so I managed to wriggle in from the waist up. Turns out the door was partially blocked by a closed casket that was about to be moved to another room for mourners.....and the Tasmanian Devil was ON TOP OF IT acting as if it was HIS hobby horse! I grabbed him by the scruff of his neck, the seat of his pants, and hauled him OUT of THERE! He starts kicking and biting me as I'm dragging him out of that back room. As he's doing that, the QUEEN BITCH arrives and starts screaming in my face about how DARE I INTERFERE with what her DARLING Little "Johnny" wants to do! I was itching to slap one or both of them, even though I was only 14 years old at the time, as I had ENOUGH of this INSANE CRAP! The funeral director stepped up and saved me the trouble.
He told that dumb broad, to her face: "THIS is a FUNERAL HOME! It is NOT a nursery and it is NOT a playground! If you CANNOT or WILL NOT control your child, YOU WILL HAVE TO LEAVE IMMEDIATELY! She started screaming threats of suing him because, in her mind, NO ONE had the right to throw HER out of ANYWHERE! The funeral director stood his ground and she was forced to leave the premises.....taking the Tasmanian Devil with her! The next day, at the funeral service, she shows up.....late.......making SURE that everyone noticed HER ARRIVAL, and attempted to turn loose the Tasmanian Devil once again! The funeral director stepped up to both of them, with a glare. Not a word was spoken. The Queen B and her Tasmanian Devil shut up, sat down, and never said another peep during the remainder of the funeral!
The whole mess was just INSANE!!!!!
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Today's "Dear Margo":
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/a-more-and-more-frequent-dilemma.html
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"Annie's Mailbox" for February 16th:
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/the-domino-effects-of-a-nasty-divorce.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130216
Today's "Dear Abby"
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Just checking in..........................
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Has anyone noticed that when OTHERS need something, they don't hesitate to call on you? BUT, the moment it's YOUR turn, then suddenly YOU'RE TOO NEEDY and they CAN'T BE BOTHERED? :?
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130218
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/don-t-be-shy-about-dangerous-drinking.html
"Annie's Mailbox" for today, February 18th.
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It feels weird, turning into an older senior citizen today.............................
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Happy Birthday,
BONES!
LOVE,
Hops
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Happy Birthday,
BONES!
LOVE,
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
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Has anyone noticed that when OTHERS need something, they don't hesitate to call on you? BUT, the moment it's YOUR turn, then suddenly YOU'RE TOO NEEDY and they CAN'T BE BOTHERED? :?
Yes, yes, yes, yes and yes! My worm is turning though, Bonesie, I'm weeding them out and trying to focus on those that are around whatever the situation is!
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Has anyone noticed that when OTHERS need something, they don't hesitate to call on you? BUT, the moment it's YOUR turn, then suddenly YOU'RE TOO NEEDY and they CAN'T BE BOTHERED? :?
Yes, yes, yes, yes and yes! My worm is turning though, Bonesie, I'm weeding them out and trying to focus on those that are around whatever the situation is!
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Tupp))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/drag-that-hug-from-behind-out-of-the-closet.html
This might trigger some flashbacks.
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Today's "Dear Prudence":
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/02/dear_prudence_my_wife_and_i_came_from_the_same_sperm_donor.html
YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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What happened, I posted Happy Birthday Bonesie but it's gone! Happy, happy birthday :) I hope you had a lovely day :) xx
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What happened, I posted Happy Birthday Bonesie but it's gone! Happy, happy birthday :) I hope you had a lovely day :) xx
I don't know what happened as I didn't get a chance to see it.
Thanks for the birthday wishes.
((((((((((((((((((((((Tupp)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/paraphernalia-in-plain-sight-probably-cause-for-trust-issues.html
The first letter is thought-provoking!
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130220
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Has anyone noticed that when OTHERS need something, they don't hesitate to call on you? BUT, the moment it's YOUR turn, then suddenly YOU'RE TOO NEEDY and they CAN'T BE BOTHERED? :?
Yes, yes, yes, yes and yes! My worm is turning though, Bonesie, I'm weeding them out and trying to focus on those that are around whatever the situation is!
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Tupp))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Had an incident last night that brought this back up.
Around 6:45 PM, my phone rang. I saw on the Caller ID that it was someone who RARELY speaks to me, if at all. She wanted me to give her a ride to a meeting that was scheduled to begin in 45 minutes! She lives across town and the meeting was in a different city. I had previously told her that I no longer give rides to anyone because I have chronic health issues now and I can no longer risk the liability should something happen. I've also stopped driving at night for the same reason. Clearly, she had listened to NONE of it and expected me to drop what I was doing and give her a ride at the LAST minute!
Once again, I reminded her that I have chronic health issues and that I am NO LONGER DRIVING at night and I am NO LONGER able to transport anyone else anywhere! She couldn't get off the phone fast enough! BITCH!!!! :P
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130221
Today's "Dear Abby"
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/the-leaving-for-college-breakup-question.html
Today's "Annie's Mailbox"
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox" has me shaking my head:
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/long-estranged-mother-wants-her-daughter-back.html
The title should read "Estranged FATHER"!
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Today's "Dear Margo":
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/talk-about-bad-luck.html
YIKES!!!!!
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130222
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130223
Today's "Dear Abby"
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http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/delicate-discussions.html
Today's "Dear Margo"
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In today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/jealous-mom-blind-to-her-many-blessings.html
The advice columnists are CLUELESS as usual!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130224
Today's "Dear Abby"
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130225
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/classic-verbal-abuser-stirs-when-shaken.html
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Today's "Dear Prudence":
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/02/dear_prudie_my_southern_husband_calls_every_woman_sweetheart_or_sweetie.html
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Took care of my jury duty today.
As I was sitting in the jury assembly room, listening to the court staff describing some of the strange characters they have encountered among previous jury pools, it made me think in terms of Jeff Foxworthy's comedy skit, "You Just Might Be a Red-Neck" except that I would probably rephrase it as: "You Just Might Be a Narcissist!" Many of the anecdotes were quite funny. For example, the people in the jury pool are warned NOT to have ANY alcohol. One guy ignored that warning thinking HE was ENTITLED to DO AS HE PLEASED, had a few drinks during his lunch break, came back to the courthouse, took off his pants and climbed onto the sculpture in front of the building!!! :shock: I'm sure THAT livened up an otherwise dull day!
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/the-post-breakup-fake-out.html
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130226
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/02/dear_prudie_my_husband_is_mourning_his_dead_mistress.html
"Dear Prudence" for today.
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Hi Bones,
I just want to thank you for so abidingly posting, even when Board activity is at a low.
It always ebbs and flows, but in the meantime, it's comforting so see your posts!
Hope you're doing well and sleeping better.
love
Hops
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Hi Bones,
I just want to thank you for so abidingly posting, even when Board activity is at a low.
It always ebbs and flows, but in the meantime, it's comforting so see your posts!
Hope you're doing well and sleeping better.
love
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
I'm trying to hang in there. As you can see from the time-stamp of this posting, I'm having trouble sleeping again.
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130227
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/overwhelmed-grandma-needs-alternative-to-foster-care.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/twenty-years-of-hookers-takes-its-toll-on-a-marriage.html
"Annie's Mailbox" for today.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130228
Today's "Dear Abby".
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/02/dear_prudence_my_brother_molested_me_should_i_help_him_fight_new_sex_abuse.html
Today's "Dear Prudence" might trigger flash-backs.
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Today's "Dear Margo:"
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/turning-the-other-cheek-in-spades.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130301
Today's "Dear Abby".
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Gettin' lonesome in here, Bones, isn't it?
Where'd everybody GO?
Hope you're sleeping better.
love,
Hops
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Gettin' lonesome in here, Bones, isn't it?
Where'd everybody GO?
Hope you're sleeping better.
love,
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
I don't know where everyone went.
Not sleeping well right now. Having PTSD issues at the moment and got startled awake by my upstairs neighbor's plumbing.
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Today's "Dear Margo":
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/funerals-and-family-secrets.html
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/kvetching-cousins.html
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Gettin' lonesome in here, Bones, isn't it?
Where'd everybody GO?
Hope you're sleeping better.
love,
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
I don't know where everyone went.
Not sleeping well right now. Having PTSD issues at the moment and got startled awake by my upstairs neighbor's plumbing.
It is quiet at the mo, I'm kind of feeling all over the place at the mo so keeping to myself and getting things done. Maybe there's certain times of year that people struggle more with? I know for me Christmas and winter are tough, then come anniversaries of two people I loved who died, then celebrations of a friend's mum's 60th, a lovely time but makes me feel sad I don't have a mum to celebrate birthdays with and then my son's birthday comes which is also a great time but again triggers the whole not having family side of things. So from December to April it's all a bit grim, maybe others are like that as well? Anyway, Bonesie I hope you get some sleep soon and things start calming down for you and hi, Hops! xx
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Gettin' lonesome in here, Bones, isn't it?
Where'd everybody GO?
Hope you're sleeping better.
love,
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
I don't know where everyone went.
Not sleeping well right now. Having PTSD issues at the moment and got startled awake by my upstairs neighbor's plumbing.
It is quiet at the mo, I'm kind of feeling all over the place at the mo so keeping to myself and getting things done. Maybe there's certain times of year that people struggle more with? I know for me Christmas and winter are tough, then come anniversaries of two people I loved who died, then celebrations of a friend's mum's 60th, a lovely time but makes me feel sad I don't have a mum to celebrate birthdays with and then my son's birthday comes which is also a great time but again triggers the whole not having family side of things. So from December to April it's all a bit grim, maybe others are like that as well? Anyway, Bonesie I hope you get some sleep soon and things start calming down for you and hi, Hops! xx
Thanks, Tupp.
That might be the reason I'm feeling so down.....knowing I have no family and recognizing that the 3-D people around me are only acquaintances, not friends. Struggling with flood damage, trying to figure out how I'm going to pay the deductible, plus the medical stuff and finances.....alone.....is not a fun place to be.
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130302
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In today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130303
This M-I-L sounds like a Narcissist attempting to use her 50-year-old son as if he's her toy doll to dress as SHE demands!
BIZARRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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In today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/grandmother-wants-more-time-with-grandkids.html
One of the "Below the Line" commentators brings up something that the advice columnists have TOTALLY ignored.....SHINGLES, which stems from the same virus that causes Chicken Pox! The grandson is a NEWBORN who has NOT YET been VACCINATED! The grandmother mentions suffering with outbreaks of shingles. I wouldn't expose ANY newborn to THAT! If the grandmother is still contagious she should know better than to expose a newborn to the chicken pox virus!
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I don't know how many people watch Judge Judy on a regular basis. One of the cases, from Friday evening, had me shaking my head. The case involved a divorced couple, with two teenaged daughters....one about age 15, the other about a year or so younger. The couple had been divorced since the two daughters were toddlers and the father had sole custody since the divorce. The ex-wife is supposed to visit for an hour or so every other weekend. The ex-wife had been court-ordered to pay only $25.00 per month, for both kids. (That's right.....$12.50 per child, per month) but the ex-wife has NEVER paid it! She doesn't have a driver's license so the state can't take that. She doesn't have a car, so the state can't take that. She has NOT filed taxes for God knows how long, which makes me wonder how long before the IRS goes after her. She's been working off-and-on, for an uncle, who pays her "under the table" and "off the books". (From where I sat, what she was doing appeared like a dodge to avoid EVER paying ANY child support! Why the state hasn't thrown her lead a$$ in jail for not paying child support, I don't know! ) When Judge Judy demanded an explanation from her about why she has NEVER paid child support, the ex-wife tried to claim that SHE was the INNOCENT victim and that her ex-husband was SO EVIL! That didn't fly with Judge Judy as she has NO tolerance for dead-beat parents! The ex-husband won his judgement. When the litigants were interviewed in the hallway after the case, the ex-wife, who had been the defendant, complained about Judge Judy not understanding her situation, etc., etc., etc., etc., etc.
I thought to myself: "BITCH! PLEASE!!!!!" :P
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/divorce-pushes-mom-off-the-deep-end.html
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130304
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130305
Today's "Dear Abby".
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/-perfect-angel-wants-to-defy-parents-date.html
Today's "Annie's Mailbox".
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Today's "Dear Prudence":
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/03/dear_prudie_my_husband_spends_all_his_free_time_playing_online_games.html
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/middle-aged-boyfriend-still-relies-on-parents.html
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130306
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I don't know if anyone else saw one of the cases on Judge Judy, this evening, where the plaintiff attempted to DICTATE to Judge Judy what questions she would be ALLOWED to ask HIM!!! :shock: OMG, what an ARROGANT SOB!!!! His attitude of ABSOLUTE ENTITLEMENT knew no bounds!!!! Made me wonder what planet he thought he was living on! When he finally realized that Judge Judy was NOT going to OBEY HIM, he snatched up his paperwork and stormed out of the courtroom!!!! By this point, the courtroom audience and the defendants were laughing at him!!!!!
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/wife-needs-to-get-a-better-job.html
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130307
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Today's "Dear Prudence":
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/03/dear_prudence_my_tiny_member_is_hurting_my_love_life.html
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130308
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/unstructured-wife-spoiling-kids.html
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This sounds painfully familiar:
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/strangled-by-apron-strings.html
"Dear Margo" for today.
YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Having trouble sleeping again...............................
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Hope you get some sleep soon, Bonesie xxx
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Hope you get some sleep soon, Bonesie xxx
Thanks, Tupp!
I'm still dealing with several things at one time....some good, some not so good. The good thing was meeting some new people, for the first time, as a prospective member of the Daughters of the American Revolution. Being an introvert, and a possible Aspie, (Asperger's Syndrome), this experience was wAY out of my comfort zone and I was fighting the urge to go hide! Being an Aspie, in a brand-new social situation with a LOT of strangers equals ANXIETY...BIG TIME!!!!!!! What helped calm me down, during this experience, was that one of the members gave a presentation about the historical details of colonial dress. That kind of research is right up my alley, knowing THAT is what my ancestors wore!
The not-so-good is that my tendonitis is flaring up again, which makes it hard to sleep.
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Wow the group thing sounds fab! Is that going to be a regular thing now? And what is tendonitis? That doesn't sound so nice :( xx
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Wow the group thing sounds fab! Is that going to be a regular thing now? And what is tendonitis? That doesn't sound so nice :( xx
Thanks, Tupp!!
Right now, I am considered a Prospective Member. I still have to obtain copies of official documents to prove my genealogy. My cousins' book is not considered sufficient proof.
With tendonitis, that isn't fun at all. Every muscle you have is attached to a bone by a tendon. When any tendon becomes inflamed, it hurts like the Dickens!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130310
"Dear Abby" for today.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/lovers-block.html
"Annie's Mailbox" for today.
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/hoard-your-own-cars.html
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130311
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Wow the group thing sounds fab! Is that going to be a regular thing now? And what is tendonitis? That doesn't sound so nice :( xx
Thanks, Tupp!!
Right now, I am considered a Prospective Member. I still have to obtain copies of official documents to prove my genealogy. My cousins' book is not considered sufficient proof.
With tendonitis, that isn't fun at all. Every muscle you have is attached to a bone by a tendon. When any tendon becomes inflamed, it hurts like the Dickens!
Eek, that doesn't sound good Bonesie, I'm sorry you're having to deal with that. I hope the group goes well though, I think having something to look forward to helps with everything xx
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Wow the group thing sounds fab! Is that going to be a regular thing now? And what is tendonitis? That doesn't sound so nice :( xx
Thanks, Tupp!!
Right now, I am considered a Prospective Member. I still have to obtain copies of official documents to prove my genealogy. My cousins' book is not considered sufficient proof.
With tendonitis, that isn't fun at all. Every muscle you have is attached to a bone by a tendon. When any tendon becomes inflamed, it hurts like the Dickens!
Eek, that doesn't sound good Bonesie, I'm sorry you're having to deal with that. I hope the group goes well though, I think having something to look forward to helps with everything xx
Thanks, Tupp!
Working on the genealogy is the FUN part! The rest of it sounds too expensive for me to afford.
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Having trouble sleeping again.......................................
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130313
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/put-the-fizzle-on-the-freeloading.html
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Hope you're sleeping better soon, Bonesie xx
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Hope you're sleeping better soon, Bonesie xx
Thanks, Tupp.
I'm still having the same old medical issues that wake me up.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/controlling-the-money-is-controlling.html
Today's "Annie's Mailbox".
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130314
Today's "Dear Abby".
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Sending you mental chamomile for a good sleep tonight, Miz Bones!
(I've been thrashing some myself, but am adding more exercise.
Gonna start with resistance bands, super gentle...and walking even more)
xo
Hops
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Sending you mental chamomile for a good sleep tonight, Miz Bones!
(I've been thrashing some myself, but am adding more exercise.
Gonna start with resistance bands, super gentle...and walking even more)
xo
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130315
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/coming-out-to-the-conservative-christian-family.html
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Today's "Dear Margo":
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/hanky-panky-esq.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/what-to-make-of-a-quick-turnaround.html
Today's "Dear Margo".
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/solitude-saboteurs.html
In today's "Annie's Mailbox", I've encountered clods who show up unannounced and uninvited. In their little world, the word "NO" does not exist. I finally had to get rude and throw them out because they REFUSED to respect ANYONE'S BOUNDARIES!! (Meaning me AND my neighbors!)
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130316
Today's "Dear Abby".
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I've been dealing with home owner's insurance stuff since the beginning of the year. I've stated, CLEARLY, several times via phone, fax, and e-mail WHAT HAPPENED and WHERE the pipe burst in my guest bathroom. I've told them SEVERAL times that the pipe did NOT freeze, along with its exact location, and sent them the report from the plumber, who also stated that the pipe did NOT freeze.
Today, I get a letter that says: "Frozen pipe".
WHY ARE THEY NOT HEARING ME?!?!?
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130317
In today's "Dear Abby", I do NOT agree with her! The kid in question is ONLY TWELVE! It's one thing if the letter writer and his ex-wife don't like each other. That's a given. DON'T take it out on an innocent kid! It's NOT his fault and he didn't ask to get born into the middle of the mess! The child probably knows NOTHING about the dynamics between the adults nor should he be informed about it!
From my perspective, the letter writer needs to "MAN-UP", suck it up, and be gracious to this child who is the TOTAL INNOCENT in all of this!
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/son-of-divorced-parents-is-holding-a-grudge.html
I'd like to hear the son's point of view about this situation. I get the gut feeling that there is more to this situation than the letter writer is willing to admit to.
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The Narcissism of some people never fail to appall me!!! :shock:
I was at a club meeting last night where the club president kept bugging us to GIVE him a wheelchair because using crutches for 4 or 5 days was TOO MUCH WORK! (He had to get stitches in his foot after a mishap and he complained that the Emergency Room refused to give him a wheelchair!) Several of us pointed out that his stitches would be coming out in a few days and Emergency Rooms are not in the habit of handing out wheelchairs to be used for only a few days because (1) they are EXPENSIVE! A USED wheelchair costs at least $300.00. (2) There are people who MUST use wheelchairs because their legs no longer function. (It's NOT a fun situation to be in.)
When his plea for a wheelchair fell on deaf ears, (Yeah, like as IF we have a wheelchair in our closets to simply hand over to him), then he started complaining that he has a job interview scheduled for Monday and that it would be too much work to get there on crutches! :shock: He actually suggested that he was going to just blow it off because of the effort required to get there. (He's been out of work for several YEARS and has gone so far as to send the club members e-mails asking that WE pay his mortgage FOR him while he spent whatever money he got his hands on for comic books! He was shocked when we responded with one word.....NO!) I sat there, with my mouth hanging open, thinking WTF?!?!?! There are several other members of the club who RECENTLY LOST their jobs, have been beating the bushes searching for other jobs, their Unemployment is running out and cannot get extensions any longer, plus there are other members who are facing financial crises due to the current Sequester....contractors losing their jobs, federal workers being furloughed, the rest of us struggling to find a steady, reliable, income that can pay the bills and this TWIT announces that going to a job interview requires TOO MUCH EFFORT?!?!?!?!? :shock:
WHAT PLANET IS HE LIVING ON?!?!?!?!?!?!?
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/twentysomething-co-worker-can-t-complete-simple-tasks.html
Today's "Annie's Mailbox".
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I don't think I agree with "Dear Abby" today.
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130318
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Asking for positive thoughts and prayers for a friend of mine.
She just learned, less than an hour ago, that her only sibling died over the weekend. The evidence and circumstances point to a possible drug overdose. She's having a rough time of it given that it's been only a few months since her mother died, which means she has no blood-related relatives left of her immediate family.
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checking in.
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The friend, who just lost her brother over the weekend, is a fellow member of the local club I belong to....the same club that met this past Saturday and dealt with an N who demanded we GIVE him a wheelchair!
Since the death announcement, several of us have been responding to her with condolences and offers of what we can do to help her get through this...offering her a shoulder to cry on, whatever she needs for emotional support during this time, trying to be the kind of friend she needs. Do you know what I mean?
Not so the N! In typical N-fashion, he sends an e-mail to the entire group which basically said: "Let ME talk about ME and let ME TELL YOU how YOU SHOULD FEEL! ME!! ME!! ME!!". I wanted to tell him to shut the hell up but didn't want to start a flame-war! Am I the only one who is tempted to bitch-slap this N-idiot?!?
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130320
Today's "Dear Abby" contains triggers for PTSD flashbacks!
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/mom-doesn-t-value-daughter-s-health.html
Once again, the advice columnists are CLUELESS!!!!
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The friend, who just lost her brother over the weekend, is a fellow member of the local club I belong to....the same club that met this past Saturday and dealt with an N who demanded we GIVE him a wheelchair!
Since the death announcement, several of us have been responding to her with condolences and offers of what we can do to help her get through this...offering her a shoulder to cry on, whatever she needs for emotional support during this time, trying to be the kind of friend she needs. Do you know what I mean?
Not so the N! In typical N-fashion, he sends an e-mail to the entire group which basically said: "Let ME talk about ME and let ME TELL YOU how YOU SHOULD FEEL! ME!! ME!! ME!!". I wanted to tell him to shut the hell up but didn't want to start a flame-war! Am I the only one who is tempted to bitch-slap this N-idiot?!?
It's so difficult to deal with people like this Bonesie, is he quite a prominent member of your group? I find people like this so tiring, I hope you're okay, are you sleeping any better yet? xx
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The friend, who just lost her brother over the weekend, is a fellow member of the local club I belong to....the same club that met this past Saturday and dealt with an N who demanded we GIVE him a wheelchair!
Since the death announcement, several of us have been responding to her with condolences and offers of what we can do to help her get through this...offering her a shoulder to cry on, whatever she needs for emotional support during this time, trying to be the kind of friend she needs. Do you know what I mean?
Not so the N! In typical N-fashion, he sends an e-mail to the entire group which basically said: "Let ME talk about ME and let ME TELL YOU how YOU SHOULD FEEL! ME!! ME!! ME!!". I wanted to tell him to shut the hell up but didn't want to start a flame-war! Am I the only one who is tempted to bitch-slap this N-idiot?!?
It's so difficult to deal with people like this Bonesie, is he quite a prominent member of your group? I find people like this so tiring, I hope you're okay, are you sleeping any better yet? xx
Thanks, ((((((((((Tupp))))))))))))).
Some days I sleep well and other days I don't. It's frustrating at times.
As for the N, he's the president of our club (unfortunately). We try to keep him corralled as much as possible but we are not always successful.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/meddling-parents-don-t-respect-boundaries.html
Once again, the advice columnists are CLUELESS!!!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130321
Today's "Dear Abby".
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Today's "Dear Abby" sounds SO familiar:
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130322
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/misguided-parents-favoring-troubled-daughter.html
I think we could give better advice than these clueless dolts!
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For anyone who loves animals:
http://www.dogheirs.com/misst/posts/2985-alaskan-malamute-puppy-howls-for-first-time-in-front-of-his-proud-mom-video
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checking in................
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checking in.......................
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Hope you're okay Bonesie xxx
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Thank you for dogheirs.com, Bones!
I'm always yearning for some new happy dog videos.
hugs
Hops
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Hope you're okay Bonesie xxx
Thanks, ((((((((((((Tupp))))))))))))))).
I just got home from a yarn party where I had the opportunity to play with a new toy:
http://www.hansencrafts.com/index.htm
I WANT ONE TO SPIN SOME MORE YARN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Thank you for dogheirs.com, Bones!
I'm always yearning for some new happy dog videos.
hugs
Hops
You're welcome, Hops.
Whenever I spot any more CUTE animal videos, I'll post them here.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130325
Today's "Dear Abby".
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/his-most-familiar-her-least-favorite.html
Today's "Annie's Mailbox".
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For Dr. G:
Happy Pesach.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_gFgTrCAiA
ENJOY!!! :D
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/-i-feel-ya-not-the-language-of-love.html
Today's "Annie's Mailbox".
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130327
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/mom-s-making-a-mountain-out-of-a-martha.html
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Today's "Dear Prudence":
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/03/dear_prudence_my_fianc_e_suffered_a_stroke_is_it_ok_if_i_leave_her.html
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Today's "Dear Margo":
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/almost-unbelievable.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130330
Today's "Dear Abby".
Feeling a bit out of sorts today......if the NQueen was still alive, she would be 100 years old today.
Logic tells me I shouldn't care and, at the same time, my Inner Child is still hurting for the mommy she never had. I've been trying to cope by hugging one of my Teddy Bears when things start feeling really bad.
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checking in.
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Ginormous kindly woman-sized Teddy Bear --biggest and nicest in the world-- sends you a great big comforting safe smooshy hug, Bones. She takes up no closet space at all, she only materializes when she's needed. (She would prefer daily, however.)
(((((((Bones)))))
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Ginormous kindly woman-sized Teddy Bear --biggest and nicest in the world-- sends you a great big comforting safe smooshy hug, Bones. She takes up no closet space at all, she only materializes when she's needed. (She would prefer daily, however.)
(((((((Bones)))))
Thanks, (((((((((((((((((((((Hops)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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http://www.dogheirs.com/misst/posts/3038-cute-shih-tzu-puppy-and-man-playfully-bond-video
For anyone who likes puppies.
-
Had a bit of a lesson in contrasts today....if I can call it that.
I was sending hugs to a friend of mine who was mourning the 20th anniversary of his younger son's death at the age of 24. I can only imagine how he must have felt when he got that awful phone call. He still misses his child with all his heart and soul and the only thing I can offer him are hugs because words are inadequate.
Then, when I had a quiet moment alone, I realized the contrast between him and the NQueen regarding the death of my sister at birth. While my friend was making today a remembrance about his son, the NQueen made my sister's death about herself and only herself....with put-downs about my sister, (who was only an infant). The difference between my friend acting as a grieving parent and the NQueen was like night and day.....literally!
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In reading today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/threatened-by-a-child.html
YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Been reading a few "April Fool jokes" on Facebook but I can't find anything funny today.
-
Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/ptsd-in-the-wake-of-iraq.html
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130402
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Today's "Dear Prudence":
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/04/dear_prudence_should_i_tell_my_homophobic_family_that_grandma_was_gay.html
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Why is it that I rarely, if ever, agree with these advice columnists? I'm not sure what their qualifications are, but they always seem to be more or less clueless.
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Why is it that I rarely, if ever, agree with these advice columnists? I'm not sure what their qualifications are, but they always seem to be more or less clueless.
I know! I wonder what kind of paycheck are they getting to be so STUPID?!?!?!?
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checking in............
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Just got home from having a doctor's appointment a little while ago and feeling aggravated with medical professionals in general.
I've just started seeing this doctor as my new primary care physician as things with the old doctors' office kept going from bad to worse. Whenever I meet a new doctor, for whatever reason, I make it a point to emphasize from the Get-Go that I am a Recovering Alcoholic AND a Recovering Drug Addict. That way, they are put on notice that there are certain prescriptions that are NOT recommended such as morphine and benzodiazepines. This new doctor has been pressuring me to have a colonoscopy the traditional way which requires using fentanyl, (an opioid more powerful than morphine), PLUS benzodiazepines! :x I reminded this new doctor of what I had previously informed him about my history of addictions. He tried to persuade me that doctors can control addictions FOR patients. :shock: I pointed out to him how that belief is a DANGEROUS delusion and I was NOT going to put my own sobriety at risk! He decided to back off.
What part of the word "NO" do they not understand?!?!?!? :?
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For those who enjoy ROCK and ROLL!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=6E4EyyJv8CM
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130404
This dude sounds like an N that got SOOOOOOOO BUSTED!!!!!!!
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/friends-behaving-rudely.html
With "friends" like this, who needs enemies?
-
Just got home from having a doctor's appointment a little while ago and feeling aggravated with medical professionals in general.
I've just started seeing this doctor as my new primary care physician as things with the old doctors' office kept going from bad to worse. Whenever I meet a new doctor, for whatever reason, I make it a point to emphasize from the Get-Go that I am a Recovering Alcoholic AND a Recovering Drug Addict. That way, they are put on notice that there are certain prescriptions that are NOT recommended such as morphine and benzodiazepines. This new doctor has been pressuring me to have a colonoscopy the traditional way which requires using fentanyl, (an opioid more powerful than morphine), PLUS benzodiazepines! :x I reminded this new doctor of what I had previously informed him about my history of addictions. He tried to persuade me that doctors can control addictions FOR patients. :shock: I pointed out to him how that belief is a DANGEROUS delusion and I was NOT going to put my own sobriety at risk! He decided to back off.
What part of the word "NO" do they not understand?!?!?!? :?
Glad you stood your ground, Bonesie. It's so important to look after your own health and if something can cause a big problem in your life it's essential to avoid it - common sense to me, lucky that you have the werewithal to stand your ground xx
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Just got home from having a doctor's appointment a little while ago and feeling aggravated with medical professionals in general.
I've just started seeing this doctor as my new primary care physician as things with the old doctors' office kept going from bad to worse. Whenever I meet a new doctor, for whatever reason, I make it a point to emphasize from the Get-Go that I am a Recovering Alcoholic AND a Recovering Drug Addict. That way, they are put on notice that there are certain prescriptions that are NOT recommended such as morphine and benzodiazepines. This new doctor has been pressuring me to have a colonoscopy the traditional way which requires using fentanyl, (an opioid more powerful than morphine), PLUS benzodiazepines! :x I reminded this new doctor of what I had previously informed him about my history of addictions. He tried to persuade me that doctors can control addictions FOR patients. :shock: I pointed out to him how that belief is a DANGEROUS delusion and I was NOT going to put my own sobriety at risk! He decided to back off.
What part of the word "NO" do they not understand?!?!?!? :?
Glad you stood your ground, Bonesie. It's so important to look after your own health and if something can cause a big problem in your life it's essential to avoid it - common sense to me, lucky that you have the werewithal to stand your ground xx
Thanks, Tupp.
I get so tired of medical professionals, who have NEVER taken any courses concerning the seriousness of addictions, and think they know it all because they have an M.D. after their name!
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I think there's such a big difference between learning from life experience and learning through books and courses. I get the same with my son - other parents of autistic childen understand it so much better than some of the specialists we've been to see. Good that you're hanging on in there and saying your bit! xx
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/nine-months-in-and-under-wraps.html
Today's "Annie's Mailbox". In one of the comments below the line, a little five-year-old said the wisest thing. Out of the mouths of babes!
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I think there's such a big difference between learning from life experience and learning through books and courses. I get the same with my son - other parents of autistic children understand it so much better than some of the specialists we've been to see. Good that you're hanging on in there and saying your bit! xx
Thanks, Tupp.
There are times when I get the sense that specialists and other medical professionals are Narcississtic Ego-Maniacs.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/gifts-that-are-never-quite-right.html
The first letter sounds familiar................
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130405
Today's "Dear Abby".
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having trouble sleeping again...........
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/grieving-grandpa-amid-the-ruins.html
Today's "Annie's Mailbox".
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130406
Today's "Dear Abby".
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/as-we-were-saying.html
Today's "Dear Margo".
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I feel the need to rant and vent as I get SO TIRED of PATERNALISM toward the DEAF COMMUNITY!!!!
It's a LONG story and I'm feeling VERY PISSED OFF at a hearing person who is trying to force HIS decisions on the Deaf Community with the attitude that he knows it all and that the Deaf Community should do things HIS way!!!
He and I have argued regarding just about EVERYTHING! He doesn't know the Sign Language system that is used here. What little he's taught himself was from a website on Gestuno, which is a system that is NOT used among the Deaf Community where I live. He has tried to insist that the Deaf Community, in this area, needs to learn HIS system because he knows what is best for them! I tried to explain that the Deaf Community does NOT tolerate paternalism from any hearing individual. I don't think he paid attention to the news when the Deaf President Now protest was occurring in 1988. I was down there in the middle of that protest and supported the four demands of the students! In other words, the old slogan, "We've come a long way, baby!" would apply to the Deaf Community today!
His response to assertive explanations has been to unilaterally decide to cancel EVERYTHING if we don't do things HIS way! I want to bitch-slap him right now!!!!
DAMN!! DAMN!!! DAMN!!!!!
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trouble sleeping again....................
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/every-parent-s-nightmare.html
Today's "Annie's Mailbox".
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130407
Today's "Dear Abby".
-
I feel the need to rant and vent as I get SO TIRED of PATERNALISM toward the DEAF COMMUNITY!!!!
It's a LONG story and I'm feeling VERY PISSED OFF at a hearing person who is trying to force HIS decisions on the Deaf Community with the attitude that he knows it all and that the Deaf Community should do things HIS way!!!
He and I have argued regarding just about EVERYTHING! He doesn't know the Sign Language system that is used here. What little he's taught himself was from a website on Gestuno, which is a system that is NOT used among the Deaf Community where I live. He has tried to insist that the Deaf Community, in this area, needs to learn HIS system because he knows what is best for them! I tried to explain that the Deaf Community does NOT tolerate paternalism from any hearing individual. I don't think he paid attention to the news when the Deaf President Now protest was occurring in 1988. I was down there in the middle of that protest and supported the four demands of the students! In other words, the old slogan, "We've come a long way, baby!" would apply to the Deaf Community today!
His response to assertive explanations has been to unilaterally decide to cancel EVERYTHING if we don't do things HIS way! I want to bitch-slap him right now!!!!
DAMN!! DAMN!!! DAMN!!!!!
Not suprised you're having trouble sleeping with this going on, who is they guy? Is he providing something to the group that you all need? I've had similar things with my son's autism over the years, people who just won't listen to those who live with the condition and deal with it every day - very annoying! Hope you got some sleep eventually xxx
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I feel the need to rant and vent as I get SO TIRED of PATERNALISM toward the DEAF COMMUNITY!!!!
It's a LONG story and I'm feeling VERY PISSED OFF at a hearing person who is trying to force HIS decisions on the Deaf Community with the attitude that he knows it all and that the Deaf Community should do things HIS way!!!
He and I have argued regarding just about EVERYTHING! He doesn't know the Sign Language system that is used here. What little he's taught himself was from a website on Gestuno, which is a system that is NOT used among the Deaf Community where I live. He has tried to insist that the Deaf Community, in this area, needs to learn HIS system because he knows what is best for them! I tried to explain that the Deaf Community does NOT tolerate paternalism from any hearing individual. I don't think he paid attention to the news when the Deaf President Now protest was occurring in 1988. I was down there in the middle of that protest and supported the four demands of the students! In other words, the old slogan, "We've come a long way, baby!" would apply to the Deaf Community today!
His response to assertive explanations has been to unilaterally decide to cancel EVERYTHING if we don't do things HIS way! I want to bitch-slap him right now!!!!
DAMN!! DAMN!!! DAMN!!!!!
Not surprised you're having trouble sleeping with this going on, who is they guy? Is he providing something to the group that you all need? I've had similar things with my son's autism over the years, people who just won't listen to those who live with the condition and deal with it every day - very annoying! Hope you got some sleep eventually xxx
Thanks, (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Tupp))))))))))))))))))))))))))).
He's the coordinator for the town he lives in and was assisting in setting up a training session that would involve members of the Deaf community who reside in the area. You're right, Tupp, it is VERY ANNOYING! The planning sessions were going swimmingly until my Deaf friend, who is a member of the planning committee, requested a Certified Interpreter when the coordinator wanted to set up a formal meeting with other Emergency Responders to give a preliminary overview of the objectives, etc. of what we are trying to accomplish. The coordinator sends me a private e-mail ANNOUNCING that I would be the one VOLUNTEERING to interpret at this formal meeting...ignoring the fact that I was supposed to be one of the PRESENTERS! I wrote back that (1) I am no longer a certified interpreter, that I have more or less retired from that due to age-related issues, (2) if I could interpret, that would PREVENT ME FROM BEING A PARTICIPATE AND PRESENTER because I would have to have my sole focus on interpreting....I CANNOT do both! When I responded with my e-mail, I sent a "cc:" to my Deaf friend and she attempted to explain her needs from the perspective of a Deaf person who has been Deaf all her life and why these needs are important.
The coordinator reacted with anger, referred to the Deaf Community as a whole as "SELFISH", (that rang some familiar bells), and canceled everything because we REFUSED to do it HIS way and that the Deaf Community was being "ungrateful" about HIS efforts! (As I'm reading his response to me, I couldn't help but think to myself......'this sounds SO N!') I tried to point out that there is a long history within the Deaf Community that is MUCH BIGGER than he and I. He just wasn't going to hear me and he still continues to think that the Deaf Community should accept whatever HE decides FOR them! (This is the very same attitude that the students at Gallaudet protested against when the Deaf President Now Protest occurred in 1988.) Bottom line, he wants to deny me and the Deaf Community a VOICE! He wants us to remain VOICELESS! NOT GONNA HAPPEN!
Tupp, again, you are right. This is what has impacted my ability to sleep. On top of that, my new doctor has brought to my attention that I have developed pre-hypertension. (Looks like the family genetics is finally kicking in.) Now I have to find better ways to control my blood pressure so it does not get too high or fall too low. YUCK!!! :P
-
Bonesy - unless there's an underlying bio-issue that causes high blood pressure (like kidney disease)... your best bet is to focus on the "easy" stuff first. (BP drugs - in particular - cause so many issues, side effects - that you have to fight off your doc, to be allowed to have the time to change your lifestyle habits; doesn't happen in just a couple of weeks - more like 6 months.)
My BP, while I haven't checked it, I KNOW has been up the last month, given the situation. It can also contribute to insomnia, btw. Things like stress, anxiety, letting your mind run over & over the same maze of crap repeatedly... all raise BP. The stress side things (and sometimes anxiety) affect how well some folks - like me - take care of ourselves. "Stress eating" usually involves empty calories, that none of us need... not getting enough sunlight or exercise... and the biggest one for me: not being able to simply sit still, do nothing physical, and really REST. Stress and BP are the perfect feedback loop; a perpetual motion that ultimately - if it isn't interrupted; stopped - will stop very suddenly and permanently.
How 'bout this? Consider it an experiment: try "intentional walking"... walk comfortably, at a slow pace... and focus on the whole sole of your foot... heel down, pressure, roll onto ball of foot, lift up on toes... all the while grinding the "object of disgust currently being an irritant" underfoot. Repeat as needed! :)
-
Bonesy - unless there's an underlying bio-issue that causes high blood pressure (like kidney disease)... your best bet is to focus on the "easy" stuff first. (BP drugs - in particular - cause so many issues, side effects - that you have to fight off your doc, to be allowed to have the time to change your lifestyle habits; doesn't happen in just a couple of weeks - more like 6 months.)
My BP, while I haven't checked it, I KNOW has been up the last month, given the situation. It can also contribute to insomnia, btw. Things like stress, anxiety, letting your mind run over & over the same maze of crap repeatedly... all raise BP. The stress side things (and sometimes anxiety) affect how well some folks - like me - take care of ourselves. "Stress eating" usually involves empty calories, that none of us need... not getting enough sunlight or exercise... and the biggest one for me: not being able to simply sit still, do nothing physical, and really REST. Stress and BP are the perfect feedback loop; a perpetual motion that ultimately - if it isn't interrupted; stopped - will stop very suddenly and permanently.
How 'bout this? Consider it an experiment: try "intentional walking"... walk comfortably, at a slow pace... and focus on the whole sole of your foot... heel down, pressure, roll onto ball of foot, lift up on toes... all the while grinding the "object of disgust currently being an irritant" underfoot. Repeat as needed! :)
Thanks!
I'll try that.
-
I feel the need to rant and vent as I get SO TIRED of PATERNALISM toward the DEAF COMMUNITY!!!!
It's a LONG story and I'm feeling VERY PISSED OFF at a hearing person who is trying to force HIS decisions on the Deaf Community with the attitude that he knows it all and that the Deaf Community should do things HIS way!!!
He and I have argued regarding just about EVERYTHING! He doesn't know the Sign Language system that is used here. What little he's taught himself was from a website on Gestuno, which is a system that is NOT used among the Deaf Community where I live. He has tried to insist that the Deaf Community, in this area, needs to learn HIS system because he knows what is best for them! I tried to explain that the Deaf Community does NOT tolerate paternalism from any hearing individual. I don't think he paid attention to the news when the Deaf President Now protest was occurring in 1988. I was down there in the middle of that protest and supported the four demands of the students! In other words, the old slogan, "We've come a long way, baby!" would apply to the Deaf Community today!
His response to assertive explanations has been to unilaterally decide to cancel EVERYTHING if we don't do things HIS way! I want to bitch-slap him right now!!!!
DAMN!! DAMN!!! DAMN!!!!!
Not surprised you're having trouble sleeping with this going on, who is they guy? Is he providing something to the group that you all need? I've had similar things with my son's autism over the years, people who just won't listen to those who live with the condition and deal with it every day - very annoying! Hope you got some sleep eventually xxx
Thanks, (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Tupp))))))))))))))))))))))))))).
He's the coordinator for the town he lives in and was assisting in setting up a training session that would involve members of the Deaf community who reside in the area. You're right, Tupp, it is VERY ANNOYING! The planning sessions were going swimmingly until my Deaf friend, who is a member of the planning committee, requested a Certified Interpreter when the coordinator wanted to set up a formal meeting with other Emergency Responders to give a preliminary overview of the objectives, etc. of what we are trying to accomplish. The coordinator sends me a private e-mail ANNOUNCING that I would be the one VOLUNTEERING to interpret at this formal meeting...ignoring the fact that I was supposed to be one of the PRESENTERS! I wrote back that (1) I am no longer a certified interpreter, that I have more or less retired from that due to age-related issues, (2) if I could interpret, that would PREVENT ME FROM BEING A PARTICIPATE AND PRESENTER because I would have to have my sole focus on interpreting....I CANNOT do both! When I responded with my e-mail, I sent a "cc:" to my Deaf friend and she attempted to explain her needs from the perspective of a Deaf person who has been Deaf all her life and why these needs are important.
The coordinator reacted with anger, referred to the Deaf Community as a whole as "SELFISH", (that rang some familiar bells), and canceled everything because we REFUSED to do it HIS way and that the Deaf Community was being "ungrateful" about HIS efforts! (As I'm reading his response to me, I couldn't help but think to myself......'this sounds SO N!') I tried to point out that there is a long history within the Deaf Community that is MUCH BIGGER than he and I. He just wasn't going to hear me and he still continues to think that the Deaf Community should accept whatever HE decides FOR them! (This is the very same attitude that the students at Gallaudet protested against when the Deaf President Now Protest occurred in 1988.) Bottom line, he wants to deny me and the Deaf Community a VOICE! He wants us to remain VOICELESS! NOT GONNA HAPPEN!
Tupp, again, you are right. This is what has impacted my ability to sleep. On top of that, my new doctor has brought to my attention that I have developed pre-hypertension. (Looks like the family genetics is finally kicking in.) Now I have to find better ways to control my blood pressure so it does not get too high or fall too low. YUCK!!! :P
I am just about ready to SPIT NAILS!!!!!
This individual just sent me an e-mail a little while ago giving me the ultimatum that if I don't convince the Deaf Community to do what HE wants, HIS WAY, he will go ahead with what he wants to do and have HEARING people act Deaf using HIS system that HE devised, (which is TOTALLY INCOMPREHENSIBLE to any Deaf person)! I read that e-mail and I was appalled!
To be BLUNT, having HEARING people pretend they are DEAF in any sort of acting role is equivalent to a Caucasian painting on blackface and pretending to be an African-American! IT IS JUST NOT APPROPRIATE!!!!! GEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-
http://www.prevention.com/health/health-concerns/how-lower-blood-pressure-naturally (http://www.prevention.com/health/health-concerns/how-lower-blood-pressure-naturally)
You can do it, Bones!
(Note that every time you're reacting to a moment in ALL - CAPS, so is your BP...
love to you,
Hops
-
http://www.prevention.com/health/health-concerns/how-lower-blood-pressure-naturally (http://www.prevention.com/health/health-concerns/how-lower-blood-pressure-naturally)
You can do it, Bones!
(Note that every time you're reacting to a moment in ALL - CAPS, so is your BP...
love to you,
Hops
I hear you, Hops.
To me, this is a Civil Rights issue that my Deaf friends and I have been fighting for since the 1970's when Federal laws came into effect. Here we are, in the 21st Century, and discrimination against the Deaf is STILL going on!!!!!!!!!!!!! :evil:
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130408
Today's "Dear Abby".
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/love-stuck.html
Today's "Annie's Mailbox".
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/04/dear_prudence_my_new_boyfriend_has_a_baby_on_the_way_with_his_ex.html
Today's "Dear Prudence".
-
trouble sleeping again...............................
-
I feel the need to rant and vent as I get SO TIRED of PATERNALISM toward the DEAF COMMUNITY!!!!
It's a LONG story and I'm feeling VERY PISSED OFF at a hearing person who is trying to force HIS decisions on the Deaf Community with the attitude that he knows it all and that the Deaf Community should do things HIS way!!!
He and I have argued regarding just about EVERYTHING! He doesn't know the Sign Language system that is used here. What little he's taught himself was from a website on Gestuno, which is a system that is NOT used among the Deaf Community where I live. He has tried to insist that the Deaf Community, in this area, needs to learn HIS system because he knows what is best for them! I tried to explain that the Deaf Community does NOT tolerate paternalism from any hearing individual. I don't think he paid attention to the news when the Deaf President Now protest was occurring in 1988. I was down there in the middle of that protest and supported the four demands of the students! In other words, the old slogan, "We've come a long way, baby!" would apply to the Deaf Community today!
His response to assertive explanations has been to unilaterally decide to cancel EVERYTHING if we don't do things HIS way! I want to bitch-slap him right now!!!!
DAMN!! DAMN!!! DAMN!!!!!
Not surprised you're having trouble sleeping with this going on, who is they guy? Is he providing something to the group that you all need? I've had similar things with my son's autism over the years, people who just won't listen to those who live with the condition and deal with it every day - very annoying! Hope you got some sleep eventually xxx
Thanks, (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Tupp))))))))))))))))))))))))))).
He's the coordinator for the town he lives in and was assisting in setting up a training session that would involve members of the Deaf community who reside in the area. You're right, Tupp, it is VERY ANNOYING! The planning sessions were going swimmingly until my Deaf friend, who is a member of the planning committee, requested a Certified Interpreter when the coordinator wanted to set up a formal meeting with other Emergency Responders to give a preliminary overview of the objectives, etc. of what we are trying to accomplish. The coordinator sends me a private e-mail ANNOUNCING that I would be the one VOLUNTEERING to interpret at this formal meeting...ignoring the fact that I was supposed to be one of the PRESENTERS! I wrote back that (1) I am no longer a certified interpreter, that I have more or less retired from that due to age-related issues, (2) if I could interpret, that would PREVENT ME FROM BEING A PARTICIPATE AND PRESENTER because I would have to have my sole focus on interpreting....I CANNOT do both! When I responded with my e-mail, I sent a "cc:" to my Deaf friend and she attempted to explain her needs from the perspective of a Deaf person who has been Deaf all her life and why these needs are important.
The coordinator reacted with anger, referred to the Deaf Community as a whole as "SELFISH", (that rang some familiar bells), and canceled everything because we REFUSED to do it HIS way and that the Deaf Community was being "ungrateful" about HIS efforts! (As I'm reading his response to me, I couldn't help but think to myself......'this sounds SO N!') I tried to point out that there is a long history within the Deaf Community that is MUCH BIGGER than he and I. He just wasn't going to hear me and he still continues to think that the Deaf Community should accept whatever HE decides FOR them! (This is the very same attitude that the students at Gallaudet protested against when the Deaf President Now Protest occurred in 1988.) Bottom line, he wants to deny me and the Deaf Community a VOICE! He wants us to remain VOICELESS! NOT GONNA HAPPEN!
Tupp, again, you are right. This is what has impacted my ability to sleep. On top of that, my new doctor has brought to my attention that I have developed pre-hypertension. (Looks like the family genetics is finally kicking in.) Now I have to find better ways to control my blood pressure so it does not get too high or fall too low. YUCK!!! :P
I am just about ready to SPIT NAILS!!!!!
This individual just sent me an e-mail a little while ago giving me the ultimatum that if I don't convince the Deaf Community to do what HE wants, HIS WAY, he will go ahead with what he wants to do and have HEARING people act Deaf using HIS system that HE devised, (which is TOTALLY INCOMPREHENSIBLE to any Deaf person)! I read that e-mail and I was appalled!
To be BLUNT, having HEARING people pretend they are DEAF in any sort of acting role is equivalent to a Caucasian painting on blackface and pretending to be an African-American! IT IS JUST NOT APPROPRIATE!!!!! GEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm getting the vibes that this situation is going to get uglier. If it goes the way I think it's going, then I may end up having to quit this volunteer organization.
-
Can the deaf community boycott the event, Bonesie? Sorry if that's a daft question, I'm not sure how these sorts of things work but he sounds like a bit of a loony tune. Where are the other group members on this, are there not more people willing to speak up? It seems odd that a man with no understanding of the situation is running things, can people group together to get rid of him or boycott the event? xx
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Can the deaf community boycott the event, Bonesie? Sorry if that's a daft question, I'm not sure how these sorts of things work but he sounds like a bit of a loony tune. Where are the other group members on this, are there not more people willing to speak up? It seems odd that a man with no understanding of the situation is running things, can people group together to get rid of him or boycott the event? xx
I'm trying to work through various channels in attempting to enlighten people about Deaf Civil Rights. If none of the hearing people are willing to listen, and condone this kind of discrimination, then I will have no choice but to quit volunteering with this group. I cannot, in good conscience, stay affiliated with any group that discriminates.
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130410
Today's "Dear Abby".
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/blame-it-on-the-plumber.html
Today's "Annie's Mailbox".
-
Can the deaf community boycott the event, Bonesie? Sorry if that's a daft question, I'm not sure how these sorts of things work but he sounds like a bit of a loony tune. Where are the other group members on this, are there not more people willing to speak up? It seems odd that a man with no understanding of the situation is running things, can people group together to get rid of him or boycott the event? xx
I'm trying to work through various channels in attempting to enlighten people about Deaf Civil Rights. If none of the hearing people are willing to listen, and condone this kind of discrimination, then I will have no choice but to quit volunteering with this group. I cannot, in good conscience, stay affiliated with any group that discriminates.
Aw Bonesie, this is a crap situation, I really hope this silly man disappears and you don't have to leave. I know what you mean, there have been groups I've distanced myself from because I haven't been confortable with the way they operate in order to get funds etc (like not upsetting politicians who endorse policies that target the disabled, for example). So I completely understand where you're coming from, I just hope it doesn't end with you - the person in the right! - has to leave.
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Bonesie))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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Can the deaf community boycott the event, Bonesie? Sorry if that's a daft question, I'm not sure how these sorts of things work but he sounds like a bit of a loony tune. Where are the other group members on this, are there not more people willing to speak up? It seems odd that a man with no understanding of the situation is running things, can people group together to get rid of him or boycott the event? xx
I'm trying to work through various channels in attempting to enlighten people about Deaf Civil Rights. If none of the hearing people are willing to listen, and condone this kind of discrimination, then I will have no choice but to quit volunteering with this group. I cannot, in good conscience, stay affiliated with any group that discriminates.
Aw Bonesie, this is a crap situation, I really hope this silly man disappears and you don't have to leave. I know what you mean, there have been groups I've distanced myself from because I haven't been confortable with the way they operate in order to get funds etc (like not upsetting politicians who endorse policies that target the disabled, for example). So I completely understand where you're coming from, I just hope it doesn't end with you - the person in the right! - has to leave.
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Bonesie))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Thanks, ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Tupp))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
I'll know within about a week or so what my final decision will have to be.
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Today's "Annie's Mailbox":
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/cleaning-the-office-frat-house-style.html
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Today's "Dear Abby":
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130411
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Today's "Dear Prudence":
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/04/dear_prudence_my_wife_s_personality_has_changed_since_going_on_paxil.html
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My computer crashed yesterday and there is a problem with the hard drive. It appears I may have to replace my computer but I don't have the funds to do that. :(
I don't know when I'm going to have computer access again. I'm at the library right now and I'm limited as to how much I can do. The library's system automatically kicks me off and won't let me log in again for another 24-hours. :P
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Still working on the computer situation.
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Unless something just "gave out" on your hard drive...
a lot of times, I've found that once they get more than 1/2 full... they start having issues!! In that case, backing up files to a jump drive, CD, or an external hard drive, is the first step.
THEN, go on and delete those files off the internal drive. Once you've "cleaned up" everything... then defragment the drive. This can take awhile depending on how many times you've saved documents, pictures, etc... then deleted them.
I HOPE it's something simple like this. There are a bunch of other things that could go wrong; BUT usually an expert can save what you have on the hard drive, even if you can't get to it from the computer yourself. I'll keep my fingers crossed for ya!!
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Unless something just "gave out" on your hard drive...
a lot of times, I've found that once they get more than 1/2 full... they start having issues!! In that case, backing up files to a jump drive, CD, or an external hard drive, is the first step.
THEN, go on and delete those files off the internal drive. Once you've "cleaned up" everything... then defragment the drive. This can take awhile depending on how many times you've saved documents, pictures, etc... then deleted them.
I HOPE it's something simple like this. There are a bunch of other things that could go wrong; BUT usually an expert can save what you have on the hard drive, even if you can't get to it from the computer yourself. I'll keep my fingers crossed for ya!!
Fortunately, I had most of what I needed backed up. The hard drive problem is more serious and the old laptop won't boot up at all. It looks like I'll have to have a professional take a closer look at it and see what can be done.
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Still trying to track down what I need on the computer that another friend gave me as a stop-gap measure.
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/04/dear_prudence_our_son_is_graduating_college_and_wants_our_mentally_disabled.html
Catching up on Advice Columns.
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/04/dear_prudence_i_lied_on_my_resume_about_my_education.html
*Shaking my head* :roll:
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130421
Catching up on "Dear Abby".
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/backstabbing-friends-with-influence.html
*shaking my head*
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/04/dear_prudence_my_breasts_have_grown_larger_after_breast_feeding_to_my_dismay.html
Today's "Dear Prudence".
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This is thought provoking!!!!
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/family/2013/02/abusive_parents_what_do_grown_children_owe_the_mothers_and_fathers_who_made.html
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I really like this article Bones, Thank you for posting it, it pretty much describes at some points how I feel also about my parents. Warren Buffett says It's a waste.
The thing I identify with in the article at the moment is how her mother told her not to have children.
There was always that message in my family also that having children was a bad burden, and not having children makes life better somehow.
A very flat perspective of family/children.
I wonder how I would have felt about having children had I grown up in a pro-child household. Shrug...always wonder about these things.
Yah, that is an interesting read, one therapist I had years ago said that re-connecting with my father would help me with my other relationships...though I really don't think so and this article seems to say it is bad to re-connect.
So exhausting, conflicting advice everywhere. Kind of comforting reading about Lincoln's lack of involvement in his father's death and funeral.
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I really like this article Bones, Thank you for posting it, it pretty much describes at some points how I feel also about my parents. Warren Buffett says It's a waste.
The thing I identify with in the article at the moment is how her mother told her not to have children.
There was always that message in my family also that having children was a bad burden, and not having children makes life better somehow.
A very flat perspective of family/children.
I wonder how I would have felt about having children had I grown up in a pro-child household. Shrug...always wonder about these things.
Yah, that is an interesting read, one therapist I had years ago said that re-connecting with my father would help me with my other relationships...though I really don't think so and this article seems to say it is bad to re-connect.
So exhausting, conflicting advice everywhere. Kind of comforting reading about Lincoln's lack of involvement in his father's death and funeral.
You're very welcome!
I'm still contemplating what this article says as I've also experienced people attempting to pressure me to reconnect with toxic monsters.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130423
Today's "Dear Abby".
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/global-youth-service-day.html
Today's "Annie's Mailbox".
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/04/dear_prudence_my_sister_in_law_tried_to_seduce_me.html
Today's "Dear Prudence".
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This is thought provoking!!!!
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/family/2013/02/abusive_parents_what_do_grown_children_owe_the_mothers_and_fathers_who_made.html
I find it odd, I don't think I've ever read an article or spoken to anyone who thinks people should keep in contact with or renew contact with abusive partners so I don't get why anyone thinks people should with their parents? I understand completely why some people do - it's a hard bond to break - but once you've made the decision putting yourself back in a place where someone treats you like dirt and damages your health seems like an odd thing for anyone to think is a good idea. I'm getting so many people these days telling me I should make up with my mum - if she decrazies herself I'd be happy to but she's as mad as a box of frogs and I'm hanging on to my nice, quiet, calm life and she can stick to her fantasy world and we're both happy. I bumped into someone yesterday who was asking if I talk to my mum yet and when I said no she said "Bless her, poor thing". I wanted to slap her, that woman has done me so much damage yet people seem to feel sorry for her and think I'm in the wrong for protecting myself?! It's a funny old world sometimes.
Bonesie are you back online now? xx
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This is thought provoking!!!!
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/family/2013/02/abusive_parents_what_do_grown_children_owe_the_mothers_and_fathers_who_made.html
I find it odd, I don't think I've ever read an article or spoken to anyone who thinks people should keep in contact with or renew contact with abusive partners so I don't get why anyone thinks people should with their parents? I understand completely why some people do - it's a hard bond to break - but once you've made the decision putting yourself back in a place where someone treats you like dirt and damages your health seems like an odd thing for anyone to think is a good idea. I'm getting so many people these days telling me I should make up with my mum - if she decrazies herself I'd be happy to but she's as mad as a box of frogs and I'm hanging on to my nice, quiet, calm life and she can stick to her fantasy world and we're both happy. I bumped into someone yesterday who was asking if I talk to my mum yet and when I said no she said "Bless her, poor thing". I wanted to slap her, that woman has done me so much damage yet people seem to feel sorry for her and think I'm in the wrong for protecting myself?! It's a funny old world sometimes.
Bonesie are you back online now? xx
Thanks, ((((((((Tupp)))))))))).
A friend gave me her old laptop and her son's monitor so I could get back online.
You're absolutely right that we should NOT be forced to contact TOXIC MONSTERS simply because they are blood-related. If it was an abusive spouse, no one would question cutting off contact. Some idiots just don't get it that just because the NMonster gives birth, that automatically entitles them to anything. It does NOT!
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This is thought provoking!!!!
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/family/2013/02/abusive_parents_what_do_grown_children_owe_the_mothers_and_fathers_who_made.html
I find it odd, I don't think I've ever read an article or spoken to anyone who thinks people should keep in contact with or renew contact with abusive partners so I don't get why anyone thinks people should with their parents? I understand completely why some people do - it's a hard bond to break - but once you've made the decision putting yourself back in a place where someone treats you like dirt and damages your health seems like an odd thing for anyone to think is a good idea. I'm getting so many people these days telling me I should make up with my mum - if she decrazies herself I'd be happy to but she's as mad as a box of frogs and I'm hanging on to my nice, quiet, calm life and she can stick to her fantasy world and we're both happy. I bumped into someone yesterday who was asking if I talk to my mum yet and when I said no she said "Bless her, poor thing". I wanted to slap her, that woman has done me so much damage yet people seem to feel sorry for her and think I'm in the wrong for protecting myself?! It's a funny old world sometimes.
Bonesie are you back online now? xx
I got that response also, I think somebody asked me if I did anything special for mother's day, and I said no my mother has mental problems.....and the person, said awww....that is so sad for her.
Made me so angry, people having sympathy for them.
The Nar people can treat their children like garbage without even a slight hint of concern or regret....and then the surrounding community supports them.
And the pain/damage that is caused by the parent's behavior towards the children goes on in a rather invisible way-- and no understand or concern in the community.
My aunt supports my mother, her husband supports her behavior, nobody ever says to her that she is mean or wrong or nasty or abusive. Although I think one therapist finally told her to be nice...lasted for 2 months then the switch flipped again.
Yeah this article was a very confirming thing for me to read.
My father has been ill and my alcoholic brother and narcissistic mother have VERBALLY badgered me to contact him, which I did but I still haven't been a part of his life.
After the two people verbally pushed me over the edge I went home and was crying hysterically, just totally ferking insanely crying like a crazy person. The messed up emotions were just too much for me.
Why can't we sue them? I wish I was a lawyer I would find some way to sue the hell out of mother.
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This is thought provoking!!!!
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/family/2013/02/abusive_parents_what_do_grown_children_owe_the_mothers_and_fathers_who_made.html
I find it odd, I don't think I've ever read an article or spoken to anyone who thinks people should keep in contact with or renew contact with abusive partners so I don't get why anyone thinks people should with their parents? I understand completely why some people do - it's a hard bond to break - but once you've made the decision putting yourself back in a place where someone treats you like dirt and damages your health seems like an odd thing for anyone to think is a good idea. I'm getting so many people these days telling me I should make up with my mum - if she decrazies herself I'd be happy to but she's as mad as a box of frogs and I'm hanging on to my nice, quiet, calm life and she can stick to her fantasy world and we're both happy. I bumped into someone yesterday who was asking if I talk to my mum yet and when I said no she said "Bless her, poor thing". I wanted to slap her, that woman has done me so much damage yet people seem to feel sorry for her and think I'm in the wrong for protecting myself?! It's a funny old world sometimes.
Bonesie are you back online now? xx
I got that response also, I think somebody asked me if I did anything special for mother's day, and I said no my mother has mental problems.....and the person, said awww....that is so sad for her.
Made me so angry, people having sympathy for them.
The Nar people can treat their children like garbage without even a slight hint of concern or regret....and then the surrounding community supports them.
And the pain/damage that is caused by the parent's behavior towards the children goes on in a rather invisible way-- and no understand or concern in the community.
My aunt supports my mother, her husband supports her behavior, nobody ever says to her that she is mean or wrong or nasty or abusive. Although I think one therapist finally told her to be nice...lasted for 2 months then the switch flipped again.
Yeah this article was a very confirming thing for me to read.
My father has been ill and my alcoholic brother and narcissistic mother have VERBALLY badgered me to contact him, which I did but I still haven't been a part of his life.
After the two people verbally pushed me over the edge I went home and was crying hysterically, just totally ferking insanely crying like a crazy person. The messed up emotions were just too much for me.
Why can't we sue them? I wish I was a lawyer I would find some way to sue the hell out of mother.
Makes me believe that Nar-Monsters have a special place in HELL! :evil:
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/dwelling-on-the-zit.html
Today's "Annie's Mailbox".
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130425
Today's "Dear Abby".
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http://www.slate.com/articles/video/dear_prudence/2013/04/dear_prudence_video_torn_apart_by_an_ipad.html
Judge Judy would tell this plaintiff that if she was STUPID enough to give her iPAD to her 6-year-old niece, then the damage is the AUNT'S problem, NOT the mother of the 6-year-old! The damage occurred IN THE AUNT'S HOUSE WHILE THE AUNT WAS IN CONTROL OF THE SITUATION. The dumb Aunt did this to HERSELF and she's trying to blame others for her own mess! Sound familiar?
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/04/dear_prudence_custody_of_friends_children_after_their_tragic_death.html
Today's "Dear Prudence".
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/cheater-no-2.html
Today's "Annie's Mailbox".
-
Still having disturbing dreams of being isolated no matter what I do or how hard I try.
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((((((((((((((Bones))))))))))))))))))))
I am so sorry.
That sounds very lonely.
comfort,
Hops
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((((((((((((((Bones))))))))))))))))))))
I am so sorry.
That sounds very lonely.
comfort,
Hops
It is.
Even in my sleep, when I dream, it feels that no matter how hard I try.....it's not good enough and never will be good enough.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/kissing-cousins-not-a-crisis.html
I couldn't help but notice that no one responded to the last letter in today's "Annie's Mailbox".
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http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/changed-friendships.html
This first letter in "Dear Margo" sounds familiar.
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((((((((((((((Bones))))))))))))))))))))
I am so sorry.
That sounds very lonely.
comfort,
Hops
It is.
Even in my sleep, when I dream, it feels that no matter how hard I try.....it's not good enough and never will be good enough.
Bonesie you are superbly good enough (and then some) Love Tup xx
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((((((((((((((Bones))))))))))))))))))))
I am so sorry.
That sounds very lonely.
comfort,
Hops
It is.
Even in my sleep, when I dream, it feels that no matter how hard I try.....it's not good enough and never will be good enough.
Bonesie you are superbly good enough (and then some) Love Tup xx
Thanks, ((((((((((((((((((((((((Tupp))))))))))))))))))))))))).
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Been dealing with flu-like symptoms most of the weekend. Dealing with the reality that if health issues get worse as I get older, there is no one to call or depend on. Everyone is too busy to be bothered.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/better-role-modeling-all-around.html
Today's "Annie's Mailbox".
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130428
Today's "Dear Abby".
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http://www.slate.com/articles/video/dear_prudence/2013/04/dear_prudence_video_torn_apart_by_an_ipad.html
Judge Judy would tell this plaintiff that if she was STUPID enough to give her iPAD to her 6-year-old niece, then the damage is the AUNT'S problem, NOT the mother of the 6-year-old! The damage occurred IN THE AUNT'S HOUSE WHILE THE AUNT WAS IN CONTROL OF THE SITUATION. The dumb Aunt did this to HERSELF and she's trying to blame others for her own mess! Sound familiar?
If memory serves me correctly, Judge Judy did have a similar case when a babysitter sued the parents of two young boys because of the damage the children did, INSIDE THE BABYSITTER'S HOUSE while the babysitter HAD TOTAL CUSTODY AND CONTROL of the children! Judge Judy ripped the babysitter a new one!
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"Mother's Day" :P is approaching and my emotions are in the toilet!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130429
Today's "Dear Abby".
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/unchecked-paranoia-unsafe.html
Today's "Annie's Mailbox".
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:|
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/04/dear_prudence_clean_shaved_privates_my_husband_won_t_go_near_me_otherwise.html
Yeesh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :P
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130501
Today's "Dear Abby".
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/morning-paper-routine.html
Today's "Annie's Mailbox".
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How you feeling, Bones?
Hope the blues are fading away...
love
Hops
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How you feeling, Bones?
Hope the blues are fading away...
love
Hops
I've not been saying too much as I don't have the energy.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/romanticizing-the-ex.html
Today's "Annie's Mailbox".
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130502
Today's "Dear Abby".
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http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/medical_examiner/2013/05/temple_grandin_s_the_autistic_brain_an_excerpt_on_the_history_of_the_autism.html
FASCINATING article!
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/05/dear_prudence_should_i_ever_speak_to_my_bullying_brother_again.html
Today's "Dear Prudence".
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An excerpt from a story I am writing:
"Dr. Leonard McCoy” steps up. “Isn't family only related by blood?” She shakes her head at her “Great-Grandfather”. “People may be related by blood, but it doesn't always transform them into a loving family. She who bore me was related by blood but she could not love me. She was never a family member to me otherwise she never would have abandoned me the way she did. Uncle Spock and I are not related by blood but he has accepted me as a member of his family and loves me in his own Vulcan way as a father would love a child. You rescued me, as a very young and traumatized child, and came to love me from that moment on. To me, a family is more than a blood-connection, it is how you feel towards someone and treat them as preciously as you would treat yourself.”
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Love the excerpt Bones. So true!
Worn
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Love the excerpt Bones. So true!
Worn
Thanks, Worn!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130503
This sounds familiar.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/marital-foul-forcing-an-impossible-choice.html
Today's "Annie's Mailbox".
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/dementia-dad-needs-reassurance.html
Today's "Annie's Mailbox" sounds familiar.
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130504
Today's "Dear Abby".
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130505
Today's "Dear Abby".
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/personality-change-in-the-wake-of-divorce.html
Today's "Annie's Mailbox".
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/little-boys-run-wild-and-don-t-listen-cue-discipline.html
Today's "Annie's Mailbox".
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Hi Bonesie, how are things going? How are you doing these days? xx
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Hi Bonesie, how are things going? How are you doing these days? xx
Hi, (((((((((((((((((Tupp)))))))))))))))))
I'm resting up today. I had the chance to attend the Maryland Sheep and Wool Festival yesterday and did a LOT of walking about. It's was fun, watching sheep being sheared, petting them as well as petting the young lambs. Had a chance to play with weaving looms and an electric mini-spinner spinning a little bit of yarn. In spite of the aches and pains afterward, I found the experience very relaxing.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130520
"Dear Abby" just doesn't get it!
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Hi Bonesie, how are things going? How are you doing these days? xx
Hi, (((((((((((((((((Tupp)))))))))))))))))
I'm resting up today. I had the chance to attend the Maryland Sheep and Wool Festival yesterday and did a LOT of walking about. It's was fun, watching sheep being sheared, petting them as well as petting the young lambs. Had a chance to play with weaving looms and an electric mini-spinner spinning a little bit of yarn. In spite of the aches and pains afterward, I found the experience very relaxing.
I think enjoyable is always good for your health, even if it's demanding or tiring - it gives your head such a nice workout of good things, it's worth doing even if only for a short while! Glad you got to go, sounds like fun and lambs are so cute :) Hope you're rested and feeling less aches and pains soon ((((((((((((((((((((((Bonesie)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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Hi Bonesie, how are things going? How are you doing these days? xx
Hi, (((((((((((((((((Tupp)))))))))))))))))
I'm resting up today. I had the chance to attend the Maryland Sheep and Wool Festival yesterday and did a LOT of walking about. It's was fun, watching sheep being sheared, petting them as well as petting the young lambs. Had a chance to play with weaving looms and an electric mini-spinner spinning a little bit of yarn. In spite of the aches and pains afterward, I found the experience very relaxing.
I think enjoyable is always good for your health, even if it's demanding or tiring - it gives your head such a nice workout of good things, it's worth doing even if only for a short while! Glad you got to go, sounds like fun and lambs are so cute :) Hope you're rested and feeling less aches and pains soon ((((((((((((((((((((((Bonesie)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Thanks, ((((((((((((((((((((((((Tupp))))))))))))))
Those lambs were CUTE! A couple were only a few weeks old and so little!
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/05/dear_prudence_my_son_s_classmate_has_cerebral_palsy_i_have_no_idea_how_to.html
Today's "Dear Prudence".
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130507
The last letter made me laugh! Can you IMAGINE the chaos that would happen if any one of us won several million or more in the lottery? The N's, and other long-lost relatives, who treated us like dirt would come crawling out of the woodwork and from under the rocks, claiming to be your "best friend" with their hands out! Self-imposed Witness Protection Program is right!
It also reminds me of what happened to Quark in the DS9 episode, "The Nagus", where another Ferengi proclaimed himself his "best friend" right after Quark became Grand Nagus.
Interesting.....................
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/spilling-the-boss-s-beans-backfires.html
Today's "Annie's Mailbox".
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/05/dear_prudence_my_co_worker_keeps_cats_and_rats_in_a_one_room_apartment_should.html
Today's "Dear Prudence".
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/parenting-as-mushy-as-the-mashed-potatoes.html
In reading the first letter in "Annie's Mailbox", unfortunately I have encountered behavior similar to this.....in a FUNERAL HOME!!! :P
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130508
Today's "Dear Abby".
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130509
Today's "Dear Abby".
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/step-up-to-the-installment-plan-to-keep-the-peace.html
The advice columnists have their heads up their butts!
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/05/dear_prudence_mother_s_day_letters_including_crowding_kids_smelly_daughters.html
Today's "Dear Prudence".
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http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/when-things-don-t-look-quite-right.html
Today's "Dear Margo".
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/little-girl-fears-food-and-mom.html
Geez! If this is not child abuse, I don't know what is!!!! Once again, the advice columnists have their heads up their butts!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130510
Today's "Dear Abby".
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/step-up-to-the-installment-plan-to-keep-the-peace.html
The advice columnists have their heads up their butts!
I vaguely recall seeing some cases on the TV court shows, where the plaintiff made elaborate arrangements WITHOUT consulting the defendant in any way, shape, or form, then SUED the defendant for "not paying their fair share". I think one of those cases ended up before Judge Judy and the plaintiff got ripped a new one! In each of these similar cases, the plaintiff got told that since they never involved the defendant in the planning, they had NO right to sue the defendant in an attempt to force them to pay for something that was NEVER agreed to. Judges will NOT enforce a contract that NEVER existed.
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Wow, my sister did something like that once, I got a voucher for some photos to be done cheaply and suggested we got ones of the boys for my mums birthday. She took both the kids over there because I was at work, ordered loads of pictures and then presented me with a bill for my share of photos that I hadn't asked for or wanted!
Just this week I found myself in a difficult situation with a neighbour, who has done some work on my garden that I didn't ask him to or want him to. I got home and found him in the garden, it made me really uncomfortable and I just didn't know how to handle it, I didn't even feel I could order him to stop because he'd pretty much finished anyway. I've just avoided him since, I really don't know how to handle him and his wife. They put things out there as being friendly and neighbourly but to me they feel controlling and intrusive. Perhaps I need to get a big scary dog :)
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Wow, my sister did something like that once, I got a voucher for some photos to be done cheaply and suggested we got ones of the boys for my mums birthday. She took both the kids over there because I was at work, ordered loads of pictures and then presented me with a bill for my share of photos that I hadn't asked for or wanted!
Just this week I found myself in a difficult situation with a neighbour, who has done some work on my garden that I didn't ask him to or want him to. I got home and found him in the garden, it made me really uncomfortable and I just didn't know how to handle it, I didn't even feel I could order him to stop because he'd pretty much finished anyway. I've just avoided him since, I really don't know how to handle him and his wife. They put things out there as being friendly and neighbourly but to me they feel controlling and intrusive. Perhaps I need to get a big scary dog :)
Whoa! That is annoying to find someone on your property without permission! Given my personality, I would have been asking him outright: "What are you doing on my property when I did not ask you to do this?" You have a right to your personal boundaries. I've had to do that when a certain NDoofus kept showing up uninvited and tried to give me the attitude that she was entitled to do as she pleases. Once she got the message that I WILL INVOLVE THE POLICE because she is TRESPASSING, she finally stopped. Oh yeah, she attempted to hand me a guilt trip because she's "entitled" and I told her to "F*** OFF!"
My late adopted sister attempted to pull a similar stunt except that it was an attempt to force me to be the FREE taxi cab at my expense! I had received an invitation to attend a party at her home and the invitation required an RSVP. I called her to let her know that I was accepting her invitation. She then proceeded to order me to criss-cross the county to pick up all these various friends of HERS who were TOTAL STRANGERS to me and NONE of them lived ANYWHERE NEAR ME! This was at a time where the cost of gas was skyrocketing! When I pointed out these facts to her, I was told that I HAD to do as she dictated and pay for the gas out of my own pocket. I informed her that I am NOT a free limo or taxi service! At that point, she bluntly told me that I was DISINVITED and she hung up on me. Her loss, not mine!
The audacity of some people! :P
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/be-well.html
This is a surprise!
-
I'm planning on going to the Green Man Festival and taking my mind off of what today is focusing on.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/happy-mother-s-day-2013-05-12.html
Once again, I don't think the Advice Columnists really get it.
-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=KaOC9danxNo
ENJOY!!
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130513
In today's "Dear Abby", the grandfather is a Narcissist! I hope they tell him: "Up Yours, Fool!"
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/who-s-not-following-up-on-child-abuse-reports.html
Unfortunately, there have been actual cases, in the news, where children have DIED because of bureaucratic bungling!
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130514
Today's "Dear Abby".
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/lopsided-open-marriage.html
Today's "Annie's Mailbox".
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/05/dear_prudence_who_gets_to_celebrate_mother_s_day_in_a_lesbian_marriage.html
"Dear Prudence" from Monday. Part II will be posted some time today.
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/05/dear_prudence_my_husband_has_asked_for_an_open_marriage_after_discovering.html
"Dear Prudence" for Tuesday.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/bullied-by-a-texas-ex-s-girlfriend.html
And once again the advice columnists are CLUELESS!
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130515
Today's "Dear Abby".
-
Happy 300th page, ((((Bones))))!
love
Hops
-
Happy 300th page, ((((Bones))))!
love
Hops
Thanks, (((((((Hops)))))))).
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/antisocial-at-the-dog-park.html
Today's "Annie's Mailbox".
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130516
Today's "Dear Abby".
-
For anyone needing a laugh today:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lu5MYS7804k
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GDk8qxztJLQ&NR=1
:lol:
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/what-to-do-about-quot-old-quot-kids-2013-05-17.html
Today's "Dear Margo".
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/what-to-do-about-quot-old-quot-kids-2013-05-17.html
Today's "Dear Margo".
Ah the girlfriend sounds really nice, great for those kids that she's still involved and still cares for them. If I meet people who've been a really big part of a child's life and then haven't seen them again after the relationship breaks down it makes me feel sad (unless that's what the kids wanted or they've had to because of distance).
How are you doing Miss Bonesie? xx
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http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/what-to-do-about-quot-old-quot-kids-2013-05-17.html
Today's "Dear Margo".
Ah the girlfriend sounds really nice, great for those kids that she's still involved and still cares for them. If I meet people who've been a really big part of a child's life and then haven't seen them again after the relationship breaks down it makes me feel sad (unless that's what the kids wanted or they've had to because of distance).
How are you doing Miss Bonesie? xx
Hi (((((((((((((((((((((Tupp)))))))))))))))))))))
I also admire the girlfriend because she understands how the kids would feel.
I've been having a rough time, emotionally, this week so I've been staying to myself.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/what-to-do-about-quot-old-quot-kids-2013-05-17.html
Today's "Dear Margo".
Ah the girlfriend sounds really nice, great for those kids that she's still involved and still cares for them. If I meet people who've been a really big part of a child's life and then haven't seen them again after the relationship breaks down it makes me feel sad (unless that's what the kids wanted or they've had to because of distance).
How are you doing Miss Bonesie? xx
Hi (((((((((((((((((((((Tupp)))))))))))))))))))))
I also admire the girlfriend because she understands how the kids would feel.
I've been having a rough time, emotionally, this week so I've been staying to myself.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((Bones))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
I hope things feel better for you soon and that this stage passes. Always so stoical. I suppose after the things we've been through we have to be.
Lots of love
Tup xxx
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http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/what-to-do-about-quot-old-quot-kids-2013-05-17.html
Today's "Dear Margo".
Ah the girlfriend sounds really nice, great for those kids that she's still involved and still cares for them. If I meet people who've been a really big part of a child's life and then haven't seen them again after the relationship breaks down it makes me feel sad (unless that's what the kids wanted or they've had to because of distance).
How are you doing Miss Bonesie? xx
Hi (((((((((((((((((((((Tupp)))))))))))))))))))))
I also admire the girlfriend because she understands how the kids would feel.
I've been having a rough time, emotionally, this week so I've been staying to myself.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((Bones))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
I hope things feel better for you soon and that this stage passes. Always so stoical. I suppose after the things we've been through we have to be.
Lots of love
Tup xxx
Thanks, (((((((((((((((((((((Tupp)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130519
I get the impression that the friends and relatives of this widow KNOW she is in a committed relationship and still prefer to exclude them as a couple. If I were her, given her circumstances, then I would decline the invitations.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/addicted-depressed-lazy-suicidal.html
Today's "Annie's Mailbox".
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/be-honest-about-dad-celebrate-heritage.html
Today's "Annie's Mailbox".
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130520
Today's "Dear Abby".
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Having trouble sleeping again and dealing with aggravation from Voc. Rehab. not really hearing me.
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130522
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/great-kids-despite-parents.html
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Hi Bones,
I hear you about sleep. It's an epic struggle.
I've finally gotten OFF Ambien (very scary study) and have transitioned to melatonin.
Working well enough, but if I take too much there are turbulent dreams.
Mostly, I think it's the damn work schedule.
What is it you need from Voc Rehab?
love
Hops
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Hi Bones,
I hear you about sleep. It's an epic struggle.
I've finally gotten OFF Ambien (very scary study) and have transitioned to melatonin.
Working well enough, but if I take too much there are turbulent dreams.
Mostly, I think it's the damn work schedule.
What is it you need from Voc Rehab?
love
Hops
Edit In: Sorry, Hops. I didn't mean to ignore what you said. I hear you.
Hi, Hops.
Voc. Rehab. was supposed to help me find employment. I've been trying to get my home-based business off the ground but it didn't earn enough money to satisfy their criteria. Now they are pressuring me to go into freelance interpreting, which I used to do when I was in my 20's. I QUIT doing that because I became so burned out just TRYING to get PAID after I completed my interpreting assignments. Yes, there is a demand for Sign Interpreters but NOBODY wants to PAY for the services! At one point, years ago, I had to fight for SIX MONTHS before I saw ANY money! And the legal firm HAD the money earmarked to PAY interpreters. I finally ran out of patience with all the excuses and had to threaten legal action because my bills were piling up! By the time the money finally landed in my hand, I was so far behind the financial 8-ball that the money really didn't make any difference!
Now, in my 60's, I have a cataract developing which impacts my ability to see well enough to drive, let alone attempt to translate from Sign to Voice. I've stopped driving long distances and at night because of my vision issues. Yet, the Voc. Rehab. Counselor expects me to drive all over the state, for a multitude of interpreting jobs in order to earn the income that their criteria requires....and I can NO LONGER PHYSICALLY DO THAT! I also have no desire to rejoin the RID because it costs $300 per year just to have a membership! Certification is an additional cost on top of the membership! There's NO WAY I could pass an RID evaluation given the cataract I have developing in one eye and it's a matter of time before my other eye will be affected.
Plus, 40 years ago, I FOUGHT to have only CERTIFIED interpreters hired because many places that used "In-house volunteers" USED people who could NOT SIGN NOR FINGERSPELL!!! Telling me to apply for work in those same places, WITHOUT CERTIFICATION, is SO WRONG on so many levels and goes against my own personal ethics!
And the Voc. Rehab. Counselor will NOT listen to me!
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/living-at-home-always-with-him.html
Reading today's advice column.......I think those of us here could give BETTER advice than what I'm seeing printed.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130523
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/05/dear_prudence_my_husband_sighs_and_rolls_his_eyes_when_i_ask_him_to_do_something.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/he-s-uh-changed-his-mind-2013-05-24.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/when-the-teachers-are-the-mean-girls.html
Advice columnists clueless as usual.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130524
*shaking my head*
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That was strange. Those kids are in trouble, because they have no idea of what is appropriate behavior. A thank you note is a demonstration of either sincerity for the gift or the obligation to acknowledge it (even when we dont like the gift). It is not a time to attempt to be humorous. I bet they will do something equally stupid when they receive their first bonus at work and it will backfire.
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That was strange. Those kids are in trouble, because they have no idea of what is appropriate behavior. A thank you note is a demonstration of either sincerity for the gift or the obligation to acknowledge it (even when we dont like the gift). It is not a time to attempt to be humorous. I bet they will do something equally stupid when they receive their first bonus at work and it will backfire.
All I can do is shake my head.
-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hDpPeSdZUQc
For fans of George Harrison.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/the-10-year-old-is-in-charge-2013-05-25.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/compensation-for-caregivers-is-reasonable-related-or-not.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130525
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130526
Clueless!
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/it-s-not-all-or-nothing-with-dad.html
And more clueless!
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/the-last-monday-in-may-2013-05-27.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130527
Regarding that last letter......that "reused" birthday card sounds like it was given by an N. I don't blame the hairdresser for feeling the way she did!
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/05/dear_prudence_using_work_email_to_respond_to_a_craigslist_personal_oops.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130528
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/not-being-arrested-and-being-innocent-are-not-the-same-thing.html
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/05/dear_prudence_my_neighbor_goes_naked_in_his_yard_it_s_not_pretty.html
-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h3JFEfdK_Ls
When this song was first played on the radio, one of the N's that I know got real huffy because she took this song as a personal insult! *shaking my head*
-
Anybody see the case on Judge Alex where a house-sitter TRASHED and DESTROYED the plaintiff's home and then DEMANDED PAYMENT because, in her little world, SHE'S ENTITLED?!?!? Judge Alex was OUTRAGED!!!!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130529
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/despite-his-efforts-she-s-not-into-sex.html
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/05/dear_prudence_i_m_not_homophobic_but_my_date_thought_i_was.html
-
Just woke up with a panic attack.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/it-s-all-hugs-and-kisses-until-someone-gets-slapped.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130530
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/05/dear_prudence_i_m_too_pretty_for_my_fiance.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130531
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/intrusive-mother-in-law-needs-serious-boundaries-yesterday.html
This sounds PAINFULLY FAMILIAR!
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/change-partners-and-dance-2013-05-31.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/mind-your-own-business-lady-2013-06-01.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/follow-your-heart-not-your-potential-caretakers.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130601
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130602
Nervy Neighbors!!!!
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/bad-dad-isn-t-the-only-male-role-model-a-kid-can-have.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130602
Nervy Neighbors!!!!
Wow, I thought my neighbours were cheeky! I wouldn't have the front to use someone else's house like that, what is it with some people and a lack of respect for boundaries?
How are things with you, Bonesie? xx
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130602
Nervy Neighbors!!!!
Wow, I thought my neighbours were cheeky! I wouldn't have the front to use someone else's house like that, what is it with some people and a lack of respect for boundaries?
How are things with you, Bonesie? xx
Hi, (((((((((((((((((Tupp))))))))))))))))))))))))!!
I wouldn't have the front or the nerve to use anyone else's home like that either! I remember, at one time, George Harrison had to deal with idiots like that. I imagined how I would feel if I were in his shoes and I didn't blame him for saying "NO!". I wanted to join forces with him to drive those morons off his lawn!!!!! Geez!!!!!
I'm doing better today. I just got home from meeting up with a group of crocheters and knitters. I'm in the process of assembling a granny square afghan.
-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SgK0KGIfuNw
For Trekkies who enjoy Spock versus Q.
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It's a rainy Monday.....................
-
And the coziest think I can think of for a rainy Monday is a cozy Trekkie
crocheting away...
So glad you got to reconnect with that community that brings you joy, Bones.
love
Hops
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And the coziest think I can think of for a rainy Monday is a cozy Trekkie
crocheting away...
So glad you got to reconnect with that community that brings you joy, Bones.
love
Hops
Thanks, ((((((((((((((((((((Hops)))))))))))))))))))))
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/06/dear_prudence_can_single_dads_host_sleepovers.html
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/06/dear_prudence_i_hug_my_co_worker_every_day_for_affection.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/dating-after-gastric-bypass.html
Clueless columnists...as usual.
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130604
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130602
Nervy Neighbors!!!!
Wow, I thought my neighbours were cheeky! I wouldn't have the front to use someone else's house like that, what is it with some people and a lack of respect for boundaries?
How are things with you, Bonesie? xx
Hi, (((((((((((((((((Tupp))))))))))))))))))))))))!!
I wouldn't have the front or the nerve to use anyone else's home like that either! I remember, at one time, George Harrison had to deal with idiots like that. I imagined how I would feel if I were in his shoes and I didn't blame him for saying "NO!". I wanted to join forces with him to drive those morons off his lawn!!!!! Geez!!!!!
I'm doing better today. I just got home from meeting up with a group of crocheters and knitters. I'm in the process of assembling a granny square afghan.
Hope you carry on doing better, Bonesie, you deserve some quiet time and some nice things (((((((((((((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) xx
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130602
Nervy Neighbors!!!!
Wow, I thought my neighbours were cheeky! I wouldn't have the front to use someone else's house like that, what is it with some people and a lack of respect for boundaries?
How are things with you, Bonesie? xx
Hi, (((((((((((((((((Tupp))))))))))))))))))))))))!!
I wouldn't have the front or the nerve to use anyone else's home like that either! I remember, at one time, George Harrison had to deal with idiots like that. I imagined how I would feel if I were in his shoes and I didn't blame him for saying "NO!". I wanted to join forces with him to drive those morons off his lawn!!!!! Geez!!!!!
I'm doing better today. I just got home from meeting up with a group of crocheters and knitters. I'm in the process of assembling a granny square afghan.
Hope you carry on doing better, Bonesie, you deserve some quiet time and some nice things (((((((((((((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) xx
Thanks, (((((((((((((((((((((Tupp))))))))))))))))))))))))))
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130605
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/the-nigerian-scam-lives-on.html
Clueless...as usual.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/it-s-his-change-of-command-and-he-can-be-gracious-if-he-wants-to.html
The in-laws sound like Ns and the columnists are CLUELESS...as usual! :P
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130606
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/06/dear_prudence_i_want_to_be_child_free_but_my_boyfriend_s_parents_want_grandkids.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130607
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/hiding-is-not-the-answer-to-feeling-lost.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/i-do-but-i-don-t.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/breadwinning-wife-resents-division-of-assets-with-stay-home-husband-and-father.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130608
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/shouldering-too-much-blame-for-ancestors-slavery-past.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130609
Sounds like the letter writer is dealing with an N.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/if-removing-the-lip-ring-didn-t-win-over-boyfriend-s-mom-what-will.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/fight-false-accusations-offensively.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130611
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/06/dear_prudence_wedding_problems_for_wedding_season_who_pays_who_goes_and.html
*shaking my head*
-
Interesting post on the sister/estranged brother parents paying for wedding.
I agree with Prudie, dont allow the parents to manipulate your day/wedding/life choices with their wallet. If she is going to be successful at married life, it means being independent and not letting any others, including family interfere. That said, Prudie does not mention the other side, which is the parents will claim they were manipulated in return by not being involved and not paying. They will say they were "deprived" of giving their daughter a happy, socially acceptable wedding send-off. There will always be the "you never let us help you, you shut us out" attitude. Its another form of manipulation that the bride needs to be aware of. I wish Prudie had mentioned this next step, I call it the boomerang effect. I could usually take the first step, but its the boomerang manipulation that stops me from moving forward.
-
Interesting post on the sister/estranged brother parents paying for wedding.
I agree with Prudie, dont allow the parents to manipulate your day/wedding/life choices with their wallet. If she is going to be successful at married life, it means being independent and not letting any others, including family interfere. That said, Prudie does not mention the other side, which is the parents will claim they were manipulated in return by not being involved and not paying. They will say they were "deprived" of giving their daughter a happy, socially acceptable wedding send-off. There will always be the "you never let us help you, you shut us out" attitude. Its another form of manipulation that the bride needs to be aware of. I wish Prudie had mentioned this next step, I call it the boomerang effect. I could usually take the first step, but its the boomerang manipulation that stops me from moving forward.
I agree. I get the impression that many of these advice columnists don't get it when it comes to dealing with the N's that we are painfully familiar with!
-
In reading the threads about the therapists and their lack of comprehension of N-issues or, at worst, being bad therapists....reminds me of a situation that I encountered at a John Bradshaw workshop back in 1992. Mr. Bradshaw is a careful person in arranging safety nets throughout his workshops because he is aware that painful triggers can and will be set off. The problem arose from a group of licensed, professional therapists who LIED to him and created a mess! Mr. Bradshaw was depending on these professionals to be available for crisis intervention in the event that any attendees experienced emotional overwhelm. What he did not know, and neither did us attendees know, these "therapists" demanded EXTRA payment, on the spot, BEFORE they would talk to an attendee. (This was never mentioned in any of the brochures and advertisements for this workshop which resulted in several of us left twisting in the wind!)
One particular incident stands out in my memory when another attendee went into crisis and started exhibiting symptoms of Dissociative Identity Disorder. Back in 1992, it was still called Multiple Personality Disorder. She approached one of the therapists, begging for help and his response was to announce he was going to lunch! He blew her off and LEFT! (Can we say unethical patient abandonment?) I was standing there, slack-jawed, as I witnessed this! At the time, I had achieved my Bachelor's degree only three years before, was not working as a professional therapist, and my crisis intervention skills was about 20 years old. I couldn't walk away and leave this person alone in her crisis. I felt like I was flying by the seat of my pants doing face-to-face crisis intervention and praying hard that I was saying and doing the right things. I was painfully aware of how this could easily go horribly wrong and having NO professionals willing to assist! Somehow, she was able to reintegrate all of her personalities. Needless to say, I was ANGRY at the way these professionals LIED to everyone. I realize now that they simply used Mr. Bradshaw to further their own selfish agendas. What made me angrier was realizing that if something bad had happened, Mr. Bradshaw would have been held responsible/legally liable/potentially sued because these professional therapists were acting as his agents and they let everyone down!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130612
This sounds familiar!
If it were me, I'd tell the Snoop Sisters....MY HOUSE! MY RULES!!! YOUR NAMES ARE NOT ON THE MORTGAGE!!!!
The reaction(s) of the Snoop Sisters indicates N-ism. How do you identify an N? Watch how they react to the word "No". It's like watching a toddler throwing a tantrum!
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/no-good-can-come-of-this-snooping.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130613
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/married-and-missing-a-woman-who-s-not-his-wife.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/dealing-with-a-vindictive-and-verbally-abusive-boss-carefully.html
Sounds familiar.
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/06/dear_prudence_is_5_too_old_for_a_security_blanket_my_husband_thinks_so.html
I feel sorry for this 5-year-old kid to have such an a$$hole for a sperm-donor!
-
Me too.
You can imagine the amount of controlling/stifling/"correcting" her Dad's going to put her through.
:(
Hops
-
Me too.
You can imagine the amount of controlling/stifling/"correcting" her Dad's going to put her through.
:(
Hops
I can't call him a Dad. He sounds like an N! :(
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/what-s-behind-constant-accusations-of-cheating.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/man-overboard-2013-06-14.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130614
With relatives like these, who needs enemies?
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/dragging-him-down-is-their-only-way-up.html
Sounds familiar.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130615
This womb-donor sounds WHACKED!!!! The daughter is TWENTY-FIVE YEARS OLD AND AN ADULT!!!!! Time to CUT the umbilical cord!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130616
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/happy-father-s-day.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130617
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/where-there-s-smoke.html
-
I'm feeling very ticked off right now because I received an e-mail that contained an insensitive racial joke...which is one of my BIGGEST PET PEEVES!!! Here is what I posted as a response:
In the Vision of the Great Bird of the Galaxy, Gene Roddenberry, racial jokes and racial discrimination were not as prominent as they
were in the 1960's. The issue of racial conflict was even addressed in episodes such as: "Let This Be Your Last Battlefield" and in
"Day of the Dove".
Now that we are in the 21st Century, and have the first African-American in the White House, I would think that we are still working toward Gene Roddenberry's vision of Star Trek's future.
It was bad enough, when a cousin sent me a quote "joke" unquote, using the "N-Word" as the punch line when he KNOWS I am multi-racial, including African-American blood and having a former slave as an ancestor. There is still the possibility of finding Native American ancestry as well given that several ancestors co-existed with those who were on this continent first.
Sending me a "joke" about "reservations" and Indians reminds me of the Trail of Tears when Native Americans were forced to leave their homes and force-marched to reservations. Some died along the way.
To me, such a joke is in poor taste. This would be akin to sending a joke about Japanese-Americans being interned, during World War Two, to George Takei. Not funny!
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/06/dear_prudence_my_daughter_s_stepfather_verbally_humiliates_her_can_i_do.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/the-truth-about-ptsd.html
-
I'm feeling very ticked off right now because I received an e-mail that contained an insensitive racial joke...which is one of my BIGGEST PET PEEVES!!! Here is what I posted as a response:
In the Vision of the Great Bird of the Galaxy, Gene Roddenberry, racial jokes and racial discrimination were not as prominent as they
were in the 1960's. The issue of racial conflict was even addressed in episodes such as: "Let This Be Your Last Battlefield" and in
"Day of the Dove".
Now that we are in the 21st Century, and have the first African-American in the White House, I would think that we are still working toward Gene Roddenberry's vision of Star Trek's future.
It was bad enough, when a cousin sent me a quote "joke" unquote, using the "N-Word" as the punch line when he KNOWS I am multi-racial, including African-American blood and having a former slave as an ancestor. There is still the possibility of finding Native American ancestry as well given that several ancestors co-existed with those who were on this continent first.
Sending me a "joke" about "reservations" and Indians reminds me of the Trail of Tears when Native Americans were forced to leave their homes and force-marched to reservations. Some died along the way.
To me, such a joke is in poor taste. This would be akin to sending a joke about Japanese-Americans being interned, during World War Two, to George Takei. Not funny!
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't know which is worst, the general run-of-the-mill N or the Racist N!!!!! Stupid MORON sends out an e-mail to the club, calling me "thin-skinned" because I don't like racist jokes. This JACKA$$ KNOWS I am multi-racial, multi-ethnic and, in his little world, he's "only joking" and I'm "too sensitive". TYPICAL NARCISSISTIC BS!!! Below is my response to this twit:
"More racist jokes by referring to my multi-racial skin, [name of N-Idiot]? Are you really THAT DENSE?!?!? OR THAT SELF-ABSORBED that you don't want to see that people DON'T LIKE RACIST JOKES!?!"
Yeah, the gloves are OFF!!!! F!@#$-ing TWIT!!!!
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/06/dear_prudence_seat_belt_refusal_is_tearing_apart_my_family.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/married-to-mary-jane.html
*Shaking my head*
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130619
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He's not worth your energy (or elevating your blood pressure), Bones.
I thought your first response to him was excellent.
When you take the high (and educated) road, you are going to impress
most of the readers with the fairness and accuracy of your opinion. (If you
let him push your buttons into anger or returned name-calling, not so much...)
Those who don't get it, unfortunately, often never will.
You might enjoy this -- and it shows there's hope with some ignorance:
http://www.upworthy.com/dude-passive-agressively-makes-fun-of-sikh-woman-on-the-internet-and-ends-up-eat
Luck!
Hops
-
He's not worth your energy (or elevating your blood pressure), Bones.
I thought your first response to him was excellent.
When you take the high (and educated) road, you are going to impress
most of the readers with the fairness and accuracy of your opinion. (If you
let him push your buttons into anger or returned name-calling, not so much...)
Those who don't get it, unfortunately, often never will.
You might enjoy this -- and it shows there's hope with some ignorance:
http://www.upworthy.com/dude-passive-agressively-makes-fun-of-sikh-woman-on-the-internet-and-ends-up-eat
Luck!
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
A couple of other members in the club also took him to task for his insensitive racist "joke". Believe it or not, he finally apologized for offending us!
-
That's great! I love it when people apologize.
Good for you, and for them, and for him.
Bravo!
Hope you watch that video, it's pretty amazing....
xo
Hops
-
That's great! I love it when people apologize.
Good for you, and for them, and for him.
Bravo!
Hope you watch that video, it's pretty amazing....
xo
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130620
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/cruel-soul-killing-parenting.html
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/06/dear_prudence_the_man_i_m_dating_says_he_s_in_an_open_marriage.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/the-unexpected-death-of-a-young-parent.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/a-diy-project-best-left-alone.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130621
I'd get a restraining order against this womb-donor! The monster was NEVER a mother!
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Re the post above and the mother who abandoned the daughter.
I have to say that my personal opinion is that the young woman needs to vent to her mother, possibly with the help of the therapist. Keeping it bottled up, and not acknowledging it is bad. It has to be done carefully, and right time, right place, but I think the daughter needs to say WHY she wants her peace and privacy. There are so many parents hear who dont listen, even after years of arguing and we suffer in silence. Its possible this mother will hear the words, but not comprehend them, but the release is for the daughter, not the mothers benefit.
-
Re the post above and the mother who abandoned the daughter.
I have to say that my personal opinion is that the young woman needs to vent to her mother, possibly with the help of the therapist. Keeping it bottled up, and not acknowledging it is bad. It has to be done carefully, and right time, right place, but I think the daughter needs to say WHY she wants her peace and privacy. There are so many parents hear who dont listen, even after years of arguing and we suffer in silence. Its possible this mother will hear the words, but not comprehend them, but the release is for the daughter, not the mothers benefit.
Who knows what the womb-donor would be willing to do. She does not deserve to be given the title of "mother".
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Came across some fun titles for those of us who crochet, knit, spin yarn, and/or otherwise enjoy the fiber arts...... us gals who do that are FIBER GODDESSES!!!! YARN GODDESSES!!!!! CROCHET GODDESSES!!!! KNITTING GODDESSES!!! :D
LOVE IT!!!!! :D
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/nonstop-talkers-deaf-or-just-rude.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130622
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130623
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/the-pregnant-nutritionist-with-the-bad-diet.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/put-upon-babysitters-out-of-business.html
GEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130624
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/06/dear_prudence_elderly_grandmother_can_no_longer_care_for_herself_but_won.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130625
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/a-sick-kind-of-cancer-warfare.html
I was shaking my head as I was reading the first letter!
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/06/dear_prudence_i_killed_an_armed_intruder_in_self_defense_is_it_ok_if_i_don.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/porn-in-the-hood.html
Shaking my head.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130626
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130627
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/identity-theft-by-genealogy.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/06/dear_prudence_my_relative_is_hiding_something_in_his_house.html
This relative sounds like a real WHACK-JOB!!!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130628
Couldn't help but shake my head at the first letter.
Regarding the letter from the small business owner....it reminded me of a case I saw on the People's Court when Judge Wapner was still presiding. The plaintiff was a gift shop owner and she had signs posted prominently that stated that if customers broke her merchandise, they bought it and for parents to take responsibility if their children cause damage. The defendant was one of these idiots who thought nothing of turning her kid loose and letting him do whatever he wanted. The defendant had entered the plaintiff's shop, immediately turned her kid loose, and the kid proceeded to destroy items made of crystal and porcelain! These items were quite expensive! When the shop owner pointed out the signs to the defendant, the defendant basically stuck her nose in the air and told the plaintiff to suck it up and get over it because kids will be kids. In the defendant's view, no one was allowed to say "No" to her child! Judge Wapner set the defendant straight and ordered her to pay for ALL the damages!
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/a-writer-in-need-of-feedback.html
A lot of useless advice from the columnists. I would have thought they would at least express condolences to the third letter writer who lost his wife to suicide...not ignore it!
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http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/an-unlikely-competitor-2013-06-28.html
The letter titled "Mommie Dearest" sounds painfully familiar!
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/white-hair-a-lesbian-turn-on.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130629
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/exploring-independent-care.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/a-facebook-connection-gone-bad.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130701
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/07/dear_prudence_does_drinking_a_few_glasses_of_wine_every_night_mean_i_have.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/boasting-blessings.html
Regarding the first letter.....with "friends" like that, who needs enemies?
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130702
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/07/dear_prudence_my_girlfriend_coaches_me_during_sex.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130703
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/stuck-in-grief.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/wins-the-promotion-but-not-employee-favor.html
Discrimination and bigotry really suck!!!!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130704
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/07/dear_prudie_i_tricked_my_boyfriend_into_getting_me_pregnant.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/caught-between-a-funeral-and-a-job-interview.html
The rellies sound like a bunch of N's.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/oatmeal-cookies-for-brains-2013-07-05.html
These total strangers could be told: "Your nose ENDS where my business begins!"
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Having trouble sleeping.............
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Me too Bones.
I think it's the end of my first real vacation in years....
work looming again next week.
Was up until 3am.
My fault entirely, watching stupid TV.
Will get it together again...I think swimming will help.
xo
Laura
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Me too Bones.
I think it's the end of my first real vacation in years....
work looming again next week.
Was up until 3am.
My fault entirely, watching stupid TV.
Will get it together again...I think swimming will help.
xo
Laura
Thanks, Hops.
Same here except it was reading through stuff. I'm planning on going swimming later on.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/monopolizing-mom.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130707
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130708
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/bypass-emotionally-manipulative-grandparents.html
With NGrands like this, who needs enemies?
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I just got word that one of the N's that used to drive me bonkers when I was subletting her apartment has just died. Having a lot of mixed feelings right now.
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My head is NOT in a very good place right now!!!
I just found out that the granddaughter of the N, who died this past Saturday, died on June 27, 2013 after being beaten to death by her boyfriend. I've known that child since BEFORE she was born!!!!! The idea that this beautiful young lady died as a result of domestic violence SICKENS me!!!!
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/07/dear_prudence_i_imagine_other_women_while_having_sex_with_my_wife.html
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/07/dear_prudence_possible_my_friend_is_stalking_my_baby.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130709
*Shaking my head*
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/too-much-on-the-text-grandmommie.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/maybe-dad-wants-to-be-taken-advantage-of.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130710
After knowing someone who was beaten to death by her boyfriend, who now sits in jail, this first letter SCARES me!!!
-
My head is NOT in a very good place right now!!!
I just found out that the granddaughter of the N, who died this past Saturday, died on June 27, 2013 after being beaten to death by her boyfriend. I've known that child since BEFORE she was born!!!!! The idea that this beautiful young lady died as a result of domestic violence SICKENS me!!!!
I've been finding out more details about what happened to this lovely young lady and her death is really hitting me hard now! I can only imagine what her mother and her siblings are going through.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/racist-nana-is-against-interracial-marriage-and-way-too-many-people-care.html
-
My head is NOT in a very good place right now!!!
I just found out that the granddaughter of the N, who died this past Saturday, died on June 27, 2013 after being beaten to death by her boyfriend. I've known that child since BEFORE she was born!!!!! The idea that this beautiful young lady died as a result of domestic violence SICKENS me!!!!
I've been finding out more details about what happened to this lovely young lady and her death is really hitting me hard now! I can only imagine what her mother and her siblings are going through.
:(
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/07/dear_prudence_teachers_who_get_involved_with_young_female_students_that.html
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My head is NOT in a very good place right now!!!
I just found out that the granddaughter of the N, who died this past Saturday, died on June 27, 2013 after being beaten to death by her boyfriend. I've known that child since BEFORE she was born!!!!! The idea that this beautiful young lady died as a result of domestic violence SICKENS me!!!!
That's just awful, Bones, what terrible news for you. Thinking of you, and that poor young lady xxx
-
My head is NOT in a very good place right now!!!
I just found out that the granddaughter of the N, who died this past Saturday, died on June 27, 2013 after being beaten to death by her boyfriend. I've known that child since BEFORE she was born!!!!! The idea that this beautiful young lady died as a result of domestic violence SICKENS me!!!!
That's just awful, Bones, what terrible news for you. Thinking of you, and that poor young lady xxx
Thanks, (((((Tupp))))).
This past week, I have been deluged with memories of seeing that young lady as a newborn, holding her in my arms when she was a baby, and playing with her when she was a toddler. I still have a few of her baby pictures. It just hurts even though I did not give birth to her. I can only imagine what her mother is going through as I remember when she was pregnant with this beautiful child. I just can't understand how one human being could DO something like this to another human being while professing love. It just does NOT make any sense!
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/using-technology-to-break-self-imposed-isolation.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/the-11-year-itch-2013-07-12.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130712
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130713
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/we-re-not-a-matchmaking-service-but.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/just-run-it-through-the-plagiarism-program.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130714
-
:(
-
Maybe it's just me. It just feels WEIRD knowing that this N is no longer on the planet and that she can no longer threaten, harass, meddle, bully or intimidate anyone ever again!!!!
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/07/dear_prudence_do_i_always_have_to_bring_my_nephews_on_vacation_with_us.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/far-away-gram-feels-unappreciated.html
That first letter sounds like it came from a typical N singing the same old song: "Me-me-me!" UGH!!! :P
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130716
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/07/dear_prudence_the_blog_commenter_of_my_nightmares_is_my_mother.html
The blogger sounds like she's dealing with an N who thinks she is entitled to invade her daughter's office.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/picky-eater-forced-to-overeat.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130717
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130718
How does she explain it to a deadbeat who (a) won't pay his bills and (b) is demanding she co-sign his loan? One small word with two letters......NO!!!!
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/how-many-chores-are-too-many-chores-post-chemo.html
The advice columnists are clueless.....as usual.
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/07/dear_prudence_my_husband_wants_a_biological_child_with_his_ex_wife.html
Why is EX-wife making this request? *Shaking my head*
As for the other letter regarding the boyfriend's mother "redecorating" and going through EVERYTHING without permission....I would advise the girlfriend to cut her losses and RUN!!! Boyfriend sees nothing wrong with this invasion and expects girlfriend to just "suck it up". Putting it bluntly, the boyfriend's mother would be the MOTHER-IN-LAW-FROM-HELL!!!! One of my former co-workers used to have a mother-in-law who did the same nonsense and the co-worker's husband expected his wife to just "suck it up". That marriage quickly went down the toilet!
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/right-and-smart-to-keep-medical-records-away-from-this-one.html
OMG!! This relative sounds like an N!!! GEEZ!!!!!!
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130719
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/a-thousand-times-no-2013-07-19.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130720
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/how-to-help-sis-despite-her-history-of-poor-choices.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/sex-life-flatlined-after-affair.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130721
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130722
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/throw-gossipy-in-laws-an-innocuous-bone.html
The advice columnists are clueless, as usual.
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Hey Bonesie, how are things with you? xx
-
Hey Bonesie, how are things with you? xx
Thanks, (((((Tupp))).
I'm taking things one day at a time.
It feels weird that one N is gone for good. I can only imagine the HELL she put her kids through!
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/07/dear_prudence_i_m_an_asian_woman_with_small_eyes_why_should_that_bother.html
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Just feeling a bit annoyed and need to vent somewhere.....
As some may be aware, I am a TREKKIE and have been a TREKKIE since September 8, 1966. Because of that, I was recently contacted to settle a debate regarding Classic Star Trek. Fine, no problem. I don't mind helping with that. Then the conversation proceeds as follows:
Person inquiring: "The Cage was NOT the first pilot. Right?"
My response: "The Cage was actually the FIRST pilot presented by Gene Roddenberry to The Suits but The Suits rejected that first pilot because it portrayed a WOMAN as the First Officer. The Suits then ordered a SECOND pilot to be produced which was 'Where No Man Has Gone Before' with the battle between Captain Kirk and Gary Mitchell."
Person inquiring: "Where No Man was NOT the FIRST pilot?!?! ARE YOU SURE?!?!? Then was 'Where No Man' the first episode broadcast on September 8, 1966?"
My response while trying to control my annoyance: "Where No Man was the SECOND pilot. The very FIRST episode of Classic Star Trek that aired on September 8, 1966 was 'Man Trap' with the Salt Vampire." (I could have gone into greater detail about the first pilot portraying Captain Christopher Pike going to Talos IV and being captured by Veena and the Talosians and why the character of Captain Pike was not reprised in the second pilot but I realized that my Aspergian Ways would have made me more of an alien. I could probably annoy Sheldon on The Big Bang Theory.)
Person Inquiring: "Are you sure?!?!?"
By now, I'm getting REALLY annoyed about having my time wasted. If you don't like the answers, then why are you asking me the questions?" *Shaking my head*
Bones (I'm an Aspie from the Planet Aspergia, NOT a Neurotypical Humanoid!)
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:lol:
And you've got a nice Aspie sense of humor, too!
((((Bones))))
Hops
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:lol:
And you've got a nice Aspie sense of humor, too!
((((Bones))))
Hops
Thanks, Hops! :D
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/07/dear_prudence_my_boyfriend_s_son_has_moved_in_and_i_still_don_t_have_a_ring.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130723
Regarding the letter about the museum, I've been a volunteer in a museum where I've seen parents turn their kids loose and the kids proceeded to climb INSIDE exhibits that were CLEARLY marked: "DO NOT TOUCH!" while the parents stood there and cooed! :shock: Several of us volunteers managed to stop these kids before they destroyed the exhibit and the parents got PISSED at us because we dared say "NO" to their PERFECT LITTLE ANGELS!! :? One set of parents became so belligerent that I responded that if they continued, I WILL call Security! *Shaking my head*
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/bracing-for-sleepy-son-in-law.html
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Shaking my head this morning. :?
During the past week, it was announced at the HOA meeting that the fire department would be visiting, with their gear and equipment, to do their regular inspection of the condo buildings to make sure the fire safety equipment therein was still in good working order. This same announcement was also distributed via e-mail to everyone on the mailing list AND it was posted on the bulletin board in my building.
I'm resting this morning after having to wake up early, (as I sometimes do), when I hear a rapping on my door. I get up, put on my dressing gown and answer it to see what is needed given that I am the Building Captain. The neighbor asks me: "WHY is the fire department here?" I asked him: "Did you read your e-mail?" His response: "No. I don't bother reading announcements that are sent to me." I asked: "Did you read the announcement posted on the bulletin board?" His response: "I always ignore the bulletin board!" I asked him: "Why didn't you attend the HOA meeting last week after I told you I was on my way to that meeting when you stopped me in the hallway?" His response: "I was too busy, too tired, yada, yada. Now WHY is the fire department here?" By this point, I let my annoyance show on my face and give him a L-O-N-G, SILENT GLARE!!!! I see the light bulb go on in his head. "Oh-h-h-h-h!!! This was announced to be expected! R-i-i-i-i-i-i-ght!!!!"
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130723
Regarding the letter about the museum, I've been a volunteer in a museum where I've seen parents turn their kids loose and the kids proceeded to climb INSIDE exhibits that were CLEARLY marked: "DO NOT TOUCH!" while the parents stood there and cooed! :shock: Several of us volunteers managed to stop these kids before they destroyed the exhibit and the parents got PISSED at us because we dared say "NO" to their PERFECT LITTLE ANGELS!! :? One set of parents became so belligerent that I responded that if they continued, I WILL call Security! *Shaking my head*
I am quite a liberal parent and as my son is autistic there are times he needs to let off steam and I let him do things at home that many people wouldn't (building an obstacle course in the front room, for example, or jumping on the bed). But I've always very firmly believed that with other people's things, whether in their homes, in parks or in public places like museums, should always be treated with extreme care and I've seen things like this, Bonesie, it amazes me that some people allow their kids to do this.
I've been meeting a couple of mums for coffee once a week and it's been lovely. They're nice people, the kids all get on well and I really look forward to it. A new mum has joined us and of course I welcome that, I know what it's like to be alone more than you want to be. She is very nice but my word, her son was running along couches, running around waiting staff (carrying hot drinks) and chucking ice cubes about and she didn't say a word. I find it embarrassing; there's no way I'd let my son behave like that but, like you say Bonesie, some people just sit there and do nothing. I'm shaking my head with you!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130723
Regarding the letter about the museum, I've been a volunteer in a museum where I've seen parents turn their kids loose and the kids proceeded to climb INSIDE exhibits that were CLEARLY marked: "DO NOT TOUCH!" while the parents stood there and cooed! :shock: Several of us volunteers managed to stop these kids before they destroyed the exhibit and the parents got PISSED at us because we dared say "NO" to their PERFECT LITTLE ANGELS!! :? One set of parents became so belligerent that I responded that if they continued, I WILL call Security! *Shaking my head*
I am quite a liberal parent and as my son is autistic there are times he needs to let off steam and I let him do things at home that many people wouldn't (building an obstacle course in the front room, for example, or jumping on the bed). But I've always very firmly believed that with other people's things, whether in their homes, in parks or in public places like museums, should always be treated with extreme care and I've seen things like this, Bonesie, it amazes me that some people allow their kids to do this.
I've been meeting a couple of mums for coffee once a week and it's been lovely. They're nice people, the kids all get on well and I really look forward to it. A new mum has joined us and of course I welcome that, I know what it's like to be alone more than you want to be. She is very nice but my word, her son was running along couches, running around waiting staff (carrying hot drinks) and chucking ice cubes about and she didn't say a word. I find it embarrassing; there's no way I'd let my son behave like that but, like you say Bonesie, some people just sit there and do nothing. I'm shaking my head with you!
Thanks, (((((Tupp))))).
I cringed when I read about that child running around the waitstaff who were carrying hot drinks. If one of the waitstaff had been knocked off her/his feet and that hot drink had landed on that child, guess who would be screaming lawsuit? Unfortunately, some parents don't get it until their child gets hurt.
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I know, it's crazy! I was in a café once and a child was banging the door open and closed - big glass door, apart from the noise being irritating he was really slamming it and if that had smashed I dread to think what might have happened. I told him to stop before he hurt himself and the man at the next table glared at me - it was his son and he was just sitting there doing nothing! Amazing what some people are like.
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I know, it's crazy! I was in a café once and a child was banging the door open and closed - big glass door, apart from the noise being irritating he was really slamming it and if that had smashed I dread to think what might have happened. I told him to stop before he hurt himself and the man at the next table glared at me - it was his son and he was just sitting there doing nothing! Amazing what some people are like.
It is amazing what some people are like! I can recall, years ago, watching a court case on People's Court with Judge Wapner. An owner of a gift shop was suing the mother of a child because the mother turned her kid loose inside the shop and the kid proceeded to smash the merchandise. There were signs prominently placed throughout the shop that stated: "You break, you buy." and "Please keep your child in hand." The mother ignored all the signs and refused to pay for the merchandise that her child destroyed. Judge Wapner told the mother she had no excuse for being irresponsible and the mother was court-ordered to reimburse the gift shop owner for the destruction. The mother got peeved because she felt she shouldn't have to be bothered. I have no idea what planet that mother was on! :?
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130724
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/hold-the-right-party-accountable.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/scrap-racy-tv-night-if-attraction-isn-t-mutual.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130725
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/07/dear_prudence_can_i_say_no_to_sex_but_yes_to_business_with_my_hookup_pal.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130726
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/wounded-hubby-creating-collateral-damage.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/certainly-not-to-her-credit-2013-07-26.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/keep-private-matters-private-even-from-nosy-aunt.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130727
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130728
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/too-young-to-man-up.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/too-young-to-man-up.html
Ah that poor baby, everyone needs a bit of TLC when they hurt themselves. I agree not to make a huge fuss and turn it into a drama but a quick cuddle and a kiss is good for everybody.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/too-young-to-man-up.html
Ah that poor baby, everyone needs a bit of TLC when they hurt themselves. I agree not to make a huge fuss and turn it into a drama but a quick cuddle and a kiss is good for everybody.
Exactly!!!! The baby is only TWO!!!! I can't understand what is WRONG with some idiots!
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/flirty-betty-and-the-bald-repairman.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130729
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/07/dear_prudence_can_i_tell_my_son_s_girlfriend_she_has_to_wear_a_bra.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130730
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/their-money-their-niece-s-hormone-blocker.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/07/dear_prudence_my_widower_boyfriend_is_really_bad_in_bed.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/tell-the-baby-obsessed-to-back-off.html
*Shaking my head*
Makes me think of the late N who threw a screaming hissy fit because her then-son-in-law DARED to get a vasectomy without HER permission!
As for the second letter, if the niece's mother was anything like the NWomb-Donor, I wish she had played the song: "Ding Dong! The Witch is Dead!"
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130731
The husband mentioned in the last letter is an IDIOT!!!!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130801
These are thought-provoking today.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/they-ll-believe-you-re-moving-out-when-you-move-out.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/08/dear_prudence_i_m_accused_of_sending_penis_photos_to_a_woman.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/o-negative-not-an-automatic-get-out-of-grandma-free-card.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/a-family-secret-kind-of-2013-08-02.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130802
Regarding the letter about the father who wants to pry into his ADULT son's sex life.....one answer.....NONE-YER!!!!! Sheesh!!!!
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Sheesh back, Bones!
And a big hug to you.
Hope you're having some happy spots this summer...
love to you
Hops
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Sheesh back, Bones!
And a big hug to you.
Hope you're having some happy spots this summer...
love to you
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
I'm trying to take things one day at a time. I'm still trying to get a paying contract to bring in some income but.....no luck.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130803
I don't think "Abby" is getting it.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/empty-fretter.html
Regarding the letter about the Bachelorette Party....it is just me or have the advice columnists missed the point that the Maid of Honor is UNDER 21 and is NOT legally allowed to drink alcohol ANYWHERE?!?!?!?! So what is the point of making an obscenely expensive road trip?
:?
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for you ((((((((Bones)))))))
http://www.upworthy.com/some-geek-boys-called-these-geek-girls-fake-they-certainly-wont-be-making-that-mistake-again-7?c=fea (http://www.upworthy.com/some-geek-boys-called-these-geek-girls-fake-they-certainly-wont-be-making-that-mistake-again-7?c=fea)
:P
Hops
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for you ((((((((Bones)))))))
http://www.upworthy.com/some-geek-boys-called-these-geek-girls-fake-they-certainly-wont-be-making-that-mistake-again-7?c=fea (http://www.upworthy.com/some-geek-boys-called-these-geek-girls-fake-they-certainly-wont-be-making-that-mistake-again-7?c=fea)
:P
Hops
LIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D
I wonder how many people spotted Wil Wheaton in there supporting us GEEK GALS? :D
I've been a GEEK as long as I can remember, a TREKKIE since 1966, and PROUD OF IT!!!! If I get the chance to attend a Star Trek Convention, I go in my Star Fleet Science Uniform!!! I'm trying to save up to add to my TREK costumes, DVD'S and toys! If some FAKE guys don't like that, DEAL WITH IT!!! I'm at an age where I tell people: "What you see is what you get!"
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/when-fear-makes-you-say-idiotic-things.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130804
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Feeling useless and worthless..........................
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Which
you
AIN'T.
I'm sorry you're blue, (((((((((Bones)))))))))).
Want to talk about it? It is the job frustrations?
xo
Hops
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Which
you
AIN'T.
I'm sorry you're blue, (((((((((Bones)))))))))).
Want to talk about it? It is the job frustrations?
xo
Hops
Thanks, (((((((((Hops)))))))))))))))))))).
I feel like a total screw-up.
I was reading a book that a friend of mine published, his autobiography, where he mentioned some of his family history. Given that I work in genealogy, I started sketching out his family tree based on what I was reading and curiosity took over. Because many of the family records, such as marriages, births, and deaths, are over 70 years old, they can be found on websites such as FamilySearch.org. I found records that matched what was mentioned in the book and was able to trace my friend's ancestors back to the European country they emigrated from. I wrote down what I had discovered and sent the information to him, which was a complete shock to him as he never knew any of this. I didn't mean to shock him. My curiosity got out of control and I screwed up. I am a screw-up!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130805
"Abby" does NOT get it that N's will NEVER hear you!!!!
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/an-apology-a-day-may-keep-trouble-at-bay.html
And, as usual, these advice columnists are STILL clueless!!!!
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But...what was wrong with that, Bones?
Maybe I'm not understanding, but it sounds like an exciting gift to him.
Do you mean that he took it the wrong way?
Was he shamed or embarrassed or something?
Was it ego if he was deflated...or something?
Did something get misunderstood?
I imagaine you did all that because you CAN and it was a way to share...
??
xxoo stop beating up on yourself, Miz B...
Hops
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But...what was wrong with that, Bones?
Maybe I'm not understanding, but it sounds like an exciting gift to him.
Do you mean that he took it the wrong way?
Was he shamed or embarrassed or something?
Was it ego if he was deflated...or something?
Did something get misunderstood?
I imagine you did all that because you CAN and it was a way to share...
??
xxoo stop beating up on yourself, Miz B...
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
He did say he was astounded but had not authorized it. He asked me what did I expect out of this. I can see his perspective as I'm sure he's been hit on by groupies over the years. I wanted to make it clear that I don't consider myself a "groupie" and hope I can be considered a friend. I shared with him that I understand how it feels to grow up with questions about ancestry and not really know WHO you are and how ancestors shaped who we became. I'm awaiting his response. I did comment that he expressed the question in his book and I was attempting to find his answer. I just didn't mean to upset him if he meant the question to be rhetorical. I guess my Asperger's did it again.......
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Bonesie, it sounds to me like he's really over reacting to this; I'd have thought that was a lovely gesture on your part. If he doesn't want the info he's perfectly capable of throwing it in the bin. I'd be chuffed to bits if someone put that much time into my history and sent it to me as a gift. It's public information; anyone could have done that research so it's not like you're invading his privacy or anything like that. You don't need anyone's authorisation if you're checking public records, everyone can see it. I think he's being a bit OTT and you should stop worrying (which I know is easier said than done). xx
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Bonesie, it sounds to me like he's really over reacting to this; I'd have thought that was a lovely gesture on your part. If he doesn't want the info he's perfectly capable of throwing it in the bin. I'd be chuffed to bits if someone put that much time into my history and sent it to me as a gift. It's public information; anyone could have done that research so it's not like you're invading his privacy or anything like that. You don't need anyone's authorisation if you're checking public records, everyone can see it. I think he's being a bit OTT and you should stop worrying (which I know is easier said than done). xx
I don't think he's angry....just shocked. He had never thought about actually researching his family history before as he has one crazy schedule. If anything, I had been overreacting and beating myself up. His manager and I have been corresponding as well and now we are all curious. We are exploring other possibilities so stay tuned.
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/08/dear_prudence_my_girlfriend_spends_more_time_with_her_chihuahua_than_me.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/on-her-own-terms-in-her-own-time.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130806
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/08/dear_prudence_my_in_laws_want_to_exclude_my_father_a_burn_survivor_from.html
I'd tell that N to go SCREW HERSELF!!!! What a BITCH!!!! :x
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130807
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/moving-away-from-grown-kids-isn-t-selfish.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/putting-the-kibosh-on-pervy-stepdad.html
This will probably trigger flashbacks for those of us who have been there......
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130808
The second letter could also be a trigger.....
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/08/dear_prudence_we_want_to_buy_a_murder_house.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130809
That last letter is really confusing! If this person is NOT an employee, then why is she there?
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/lingering-feelings-of-abandonment-need-open-unblaming-arms.html
*shaking my head*
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http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/it-depends-on-the-definition-of-quot-need-quot.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/adhere-to-prescriptions-start-to-finish.html
Some Senior Citizens don't take their medications everyday and refill it as needed because the cost of the meds are SO HIGH!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130810
Looking at the first letter from a different perspective, until the marriage vows are taken between the Dad and his Intended, he should be focusing on his CHILDREN during the custody exchanges and visitations. Otherwise, the Ex could get nasty if the kids are left to sleep in the living room or left to fend for themselves. Dad should have figured out the sleeping arrangements before he made the announcement to his teenage kids.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130811
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/once-a-mama-s-boy-now-a-married-mama-s-boy.html
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Feeling aggravated as a second crown has fallen out while I was brushing my teeth. Seeing the dentist tomorrow to get them put back in and find out WHY they keep falling out!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130812
That last letter has me shaking my head. The one who "left the gift" in such a TACKY way sounds like an N! :P
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/isolation-bad-strategy-for-betrayed-soldier.html
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Feeling aggravated as a second crown has fallen out while I was brushing my teeth. Seeing the dentist tomorrow to get them put back in and find out WHY they keep falling out!
More aggravation! NOW I have to find a new dentist! I hope to find one closer to home that can work with retirees on a fixed income.
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/08/dear_prudence_my_friend_is_having_an_improper_affair_at_the_university_where.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/back-to-school-tips-for-the-college-bound.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130813
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Feeling aggravated as a second crown has fallen out while I was brushing my teeth. Seeing the dentist tomorrow to get them put back in and find out WHY they keep falling out!
More aggravation! NOW I have to find a new dentist! I hope to find one closer to home that can work with retirees on a fixed income.
Conversation in dentist's office yesterday:
Staff person: Your new treatment plan will cost about $2,000.
Me: What?!? What EXACTLY is in this new "treatment plan"? I look at the details and noticed that one of the expensive items that they want to charge me for is finishing the implant that my insurance and I have ALREADY PAID FOR! I point this out and get told:
Staff person: Oh, no, no, no! You're wrong! You have to pay since your insurance won't pay to have it finished.
Me: That does NOT make any sense! You're telling me that my insurance paid to have the procedure started but WON'T pay to have it completed? Then the dentist walks in as I'm asking this question.
Dentist: Well, that's just the way insurance companies are.
Me: I am a retiree depending on a FIXED income. I'm dealing with the aftermath of flood damage and a hot water heater that has to be replaced. My pension CANNOT stretch any further and I CANNOT pay $2,000 up front for a long list of procedures that hasn't been done yet!
Staff person: Put it on a credit card.
Me: You're NOT listening. This is a debt that I CANNOT afford! I have NO way to pay this! I am TAPPED OUT! My pension can NO longer stretch!
Staff person: But it's only $50.00 a month.
Me: You're NOT listening. This is a debt that I CANNOT afford! My pension CANNOT be stretched to pay that! I CANNOT pay a $2,000 debt with money that I do NOT have!
Dentist: Well, come back when you can pay for this.
By this point, I'm smelling a rat with double-dipping which is why I suspect my insurance company is balking at paying AGAIN for the implant that has already been paid for. I can understand prioritizing the list, choosing the item that is most important, and focusing on getting that ONE item taken care of. But a $2,000 package with a LONG list of items, to be paid for up front, BEFORE they will even look at a cracked tooth, or a crown that needs to be replaced....that just feels obscene. With my other health issues going on, I could find myself in a position of being unable to finish the procedures....the dentist gets paid for work that was NEVER done...and I get left holding the bag without any expectation of a refund for work that was NEVER done? I think it's time to look for a new dentist, closer to home, that is willing to work with senior citizens on a fixed income. :P
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Just got an e-mail from one of the genealogy forums that I'm subscribed to and this dude is really starting to pluck my LAST nerve! I've already told him, at least THREE times that we are NOT related! None of my ancestors, in a specific branch, has ever lived in his ancestral states because they were SLAVE states and the ancestors of mine that he continues to focus on are NOT white!!! He responds back that he wants to collect those names anyway!
NO, Dude, you are NOT collecting ME as if I'm another object to be possessed! My ancestors of color were treated as objects of possession because of the color of their skin! You are NOT going to repeat history with my ancestors NOR me!
Sheesh!!!! :P
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Hey Bones.
Check out every dental school in your area and get on their waiting lists...it really will
pay off down the line.
You get detailed and even complex procedures done at a MAJOR discount by
just-about-to-graduate new dentists who're being watched like hawks by their
professors/instructors because if they don't do a great job on you, they don't get
to enter practice!
And, they've just learned all the newest techniques, too. My dentist is involved with
the university's dental program (teaches it and brings the students into his own clinic
to practice) and he's the best I've ever had.
xo
Hops
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Hey Bones.
Check out every dental school in your area and get on their waiting lists...it really will
pay off down the line.
You get detailed and even complex procedures done at a MAJOR discount by
just-about-to-graduate new dentists who're being watched like hawks by their
professors/instructors because if they don't do a great job on you, they don't get
to enter practice!
And, they've just learned all the newest techniques, too. My dentist is involved with
the university's dental program (teaches it and brings the students into his own clinic
to practice) and he's the best I've ever had.
xo
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
Unfortunately, the only dental school that I know of is SEVERAL miles away and I have NO way of getting there without reliable transportation.
-
Just got an e-mail from one of the genealogy forums that I'm subscribed to and this dude is really starting to pluck my LAST nerve! I've already told him, at least THREE times that we are NOT related! None of my ancestors, in a specific branch, has ever lived in his ancestral states because they were SLAVE states and the ancestors of mine that he continues to focus on are NOT white!!! He responds back that he wants to collect those names anyway!
NO, Dude, you are NOT collecting ME as if I'm another object to be possessed! My ancestors of color were treated as objects of possession because of the color of their skin! You are NOT going to repeat history with my ancestors NOR me!
Sheesh!!!! :P
Aw Bonesie, with this and the dental problem I can only imagine that you are getting frustrated! Imagining a lovely snuggly soft blanket that you can wrap yourself up in and keep at bay the people who are not behaving at their best! I hope this chap stops asking questions of you now and hope something gets sorted out for you with the dental work. We have similar problems in the UK; basically you can get them checked for free but most work has to be paid for and it's so pricey I know people that have ended up pulling their own teeth out because they can't pay the bill. Shocking state of affairs. I hope you can figure out what's going on here and change dentists if need be xx
-
Sorry to hear of the transportation hassle, Bones.
I wonder if the cost of a cab might still be nowhere NEAR how much you'd save, though?
xo
Hops
-
Just got an e-mail from one of the genealogy forums that I'm subscribed to and this dude is really starting to pluck my LAST nerve! I've already told him, at least THREE times that we are NOT related! None of my ancestors, in a specific branch, has ever lived in his ancestral states because they were SLAVE states and the ancestors of mine that he continues to focus on are NOT white!!! He responds back that he wants to collect those names anyway!
NO, Dude, you are NOT collecting ME as if I'm another object to be possessed! My ancestors of color were treated as objects of possession because of the color of their skin! You are NOT going to repeat history with my ancestors NOR me!
Sheesh!!!! :P
Aw Bonesie, with this and the dental problem I can only imagine that you are getting frustrated! Imagining a lovely snuggly soft blanket that you can wrap yourself up in and keep at bay the people who are not behaving at their best! I hope this chap stops asking questions of you now and hope something gets sorted out for you with the dental work. We have similar problems in the UK; basically you can get them checked for free but most work has to be paid for and it's so pricey I know people that have ended up pulling their own teeth out because they can't pay the bill. Shocking state of affairs. I hope you can figure out what's going on here and change dentists if need be xx
Thanks, (((((((((((Tupp)))))))))))))))).
I hope I can figure out something soon.
-
Sorry to hear of the transportation hassle, Bones.
I wonder if the cost of a cab might still be nowhere NEAR how much you'd save, though?
xo
Hops
The cost of the cab is also financially out of my reach. Frustration all the way around.
-
Damn.
Just
damn.
:(
Hops
-
Damn.
Just
damn.
:(
Hops
Yeah.
And now my phone line just went dead. Damn! :(
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/08/dear_prudence_are_teeth_grills_in_fashion_for_everybody.html
With that one question about the friend whose fiance' has died....Good Lord!!!! It's been ONE MONTH and she's supposed to just suck it up and get over it that quickly?!?!? Grief does NOT work that way!!!!
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130814
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/rubadubdub-dumpster-dive-for-the-grub.html
-
Watched the latest episode of "Who Do You Think You Are?" which profiled Zooey Deschanel and discovered some surprises of my own! :shock:
-
You keep this place alive Bones
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/equalizing-time-and-togetherness.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130815
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/08/dear_prudence_i_m_a_widower_in_love_with_my_late_wife_s_sister.html
-
You keep this place alive Bones
Thanks, Bean.
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130816
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/getting-counseling-means-staying-for-the-whole-session.html
The letter writer that walked out of a counseling session because SHE did NOT like what was being said sounds like an N! :P
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/oh-what-lovely-feet-you-have-my-dear-2013-08-16.html
YIKES!!!! :shock:
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/working-with-liar-not-for-the-faint-hearted-2013-08-15.html
shaking my head.......
-
Feeling aggravated as a second crown has fallen out while I was brushing my teeth. Seeing the dentist tomorrow to get them put back in and find out WHY they keep falling out!
More aggravation! NOW I have to find a new dentist! I hope to find one closer to home that can work with retirees on a fixed income.
Conversation in dentist's office yesterday:
Staff person: Your new treatment plan will cost about $2,000.
Me: What?!? What EXACTLY is in this new "treatment plan"? I look at the details and noticed that one of the expensive items that they want to charge me for is finishing the implant that my insurance and I have ALREADY PAID FOR! I point this out and get told:
Staff person: Oh, no, no, no! You're wrong! You have to pay since your insurance won't pay to have it finished.
Me: That does NOT make any sense! You're telling me that my insurance paid to have the procedure started but WON'T pay to have it completed? Then the dentist walks in as I'm asking this question.
Dentist: Well, that's just the way insurance companies are.
Me: I am a retiree depending on a FIXED income. I'm dealing with the aftermath of flood damage and a hot water heater that has to be replaced. My pension CANNOT stretch any further and I CANNOT pay $2,000 up front for a long list of procedures that hasn't been done yet!
Staff person: Put it on a credit card.
Me: You're NOT listening. This is a debt that I CANNOT afford! I have NO way to pay this! I am TAPPED OUT! My pension can NO longer stretch!
Staff person: But it's only $50.00 a month.
Me: You're NOT listening. This is a debt that I CANNOT afford! My pension CANNOT be stretched to pay that! I CANNOT pay a $2,000 debt with money that I do NOT have!
Dentist: Well, come back when you can pay for this.
By this point, I'm smelling a rat with double-dipping which is why I suspect my insurance company is balking at paying AGAIN for the implant that has already been paid for. I can understand prioritizing the list, choosing the item that is most important, and focusing on getting that ONE item taken care of. But a $2,000 package with a LONG list of items, to be paid for up front, BEFORE they will even look at a cracked tooth, or a crown that needs to be replaced....that just feels obscene. With my other health issues going on, I could find myself in a position of being unable to finish the procedures....the dentist gets paid for work that was NEVER done...and I get left holding the bag without any expectation of a refund for work that was NEVER done? I think it's time to look for a new dentist, closer to home, that is willing to work with senior citizens on a fixed income. :P
Finally was able to speak with someone at my dental insurance yesterday. Come to find out that my insurance WILL pay to complete the implant! They were just as puzzled as I am about why I was being given the "song and dance" by my now EX-dentist and his staff. Bottom line: My now EX-dentist and his staff LIED to me! Once you start lying in order to double-dip, (getting BOTH insurance payment PLUS 100% payment from your patient(s) instead of the 50%), you're done! If I can't trust you, as my doctor or dentist, to do the right thing, you are FINISHED and you are FIRED!
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/oh-what-lovely-feet-you-have-my-dear-2013-08-16.html
YIKES!!!! :shock:
That first one is disgusting, she should have walked out of there right there and then. What a revolting old man. The second one sounds like she needs to call Children's Services if they're younger siblings? If not then I guess they've got the same opportunities she's got and can get out like she did?
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/oh-what-lovely-feet-you-have-my-dear-2013-08-16.html
YIKES!!!! :shock:
That first one is disgusting, she should have walked out of there right there and then. What a revolting old man. The second one sounds like she needs to call Children's Services if they're younger siblings? If not then I guess they've got the same opportunities she's got and can get out like she did?
The first one sounds like she is really young and doesn't understand that sexual harassment is ILLEGAL!!! Someone my age would have spotted that and probably would do enough damage to make him squeak a few octaves higher! THEN I would have walked out! Madea anyone?
The siblings of the second one sound like they are adults given employment issues, etc. There will never be enough money to fix THAT mess!
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/serious-symptoms-warrant-a-doctor-s-opinion-not-a-spouse-s.html
The columnists are REALLY stupid TODAY!!! :P
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130817
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130818
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/hospice-nurse-offers-a-little-too-much-comfort.html
-
Just got home from a CERT exercise. I was surprised that I was made a leader of the medical team. The two members that were assigned to me attempted to do their own thing and it felt like I was attempting to herd cats. One finally got the message of what the expectations were. The other one ignored me, left, then tried to come back and I told him that since I could not rely on him to follow directions involving medical responsibilities, then don't waste my time. I told him to make himself useful somewhere else.
It felt different and, at the same time, it felt good. I don't know how else to describe it.
-
Just got home from a CERT exercise. I was surprised that I was made a leader of the medical team. The two members that were assigned to me attempted to do their own thing and it felt like I was attempting to herd cats. One finally got the message of what the expectations were. The other one ignored me, left, then tried to come back and I told him that since I could not rely on him to follow directions involving medical responsibilities, then don't waste my time. I told him to make himself useful somewhere else.
It felt different and, at the same time, it felt good. I don't know how else to describe it.
Sounds good, Bonesie, sounds good :)
-
Just got home from a CERT exercise. I was surprised that I was made a leader of the medical team. The two members that were assigned to me attempted to do their own thing and it felt like I was attempting to herd cats. One finally got the message of what the expectations were. The other one ignored me, left, then tried to come back and I told him that since I could not rely on him to follow directions involving medical responsibilities, then don't waste my time. I told him to make himself useful somewhere else.
It felt different and, at the same time, it felt good. I don't know how else to describe it.
Sounds good, Bonesie, sounds good :)
Thanks, (((((((((((((((((Tupp)))))))))))))))))
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/living-in-oblivion.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130819
-
Bones, I am SO happy your dental work is going to be covered!
I am joyfully imagining a big Bones GRIN.
xxoo
Hops
-
Bones, I am SO happy your dental work is going to be covered!
I am joyfully imagining a big Bones GRIN.
xxoo
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
I'll be meeting with the new dentist next Monday. I hope to get this resolved soon as it's uncomfortable to eat.
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/08/dear_prudence_my_niece_is_about_to_marry_my_secret_son_by_an_affair.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/managing-unsupportive-siblings.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130820
-
http://www.addictinginfo.org/2013/08/19/the-most-hateful-letter-about-an-autistic-child-youll-ever-read/
The BITCH who wrote this HATEFUL screed has to be a NARCISSIST who believes SHE RULES THE WORLD!!! GEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!! :P
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/negotiating-peace-and-quiet-with-noisy-neighbors.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130821
-
http://www.addictinginfo.org/2013/08/19/the-most-hateful-letter-about-an-autistic-child-youll-ever-read/
The BITCH who wrote this HATEFUL screed has to be a NARCISSIST who believes SHE RULES THE WORLD!!! GEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!! :P
Do you know, I just find that so sad. People who dismiss those with disabilities like this are missing out on so much; these kids achieve such huge things, can be so loving and kind and funny, and some people just can't get past their own negativity to spend some time with them and get to know them as people. It's the disability they see, not the person and it's just so sad.
-
http://www.addictinginfo.org/2013/08/19/the-most-hateful-letter-about-an-autistic-child-youll-ever-read/
The BITCH who wrote this HATEFUL screed has to be a NARCISSIST who believes SHE RULES THE WORLD!!! GEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!! :P
Do you know, I just find that so sad. People who dismiss those with disabilities like this are missing out on so much; these kids achieve such huge things, can be so loving and kind and funny, and some people just can't get past their own negativity to spend some time with them and get to know them as people. It's the disability they see, not the person and it's just so sad.
Yes, ((((((((((((((((Tupp))))))))))))))))))).
It is so sad that they are intentionally blind. They just don't get it!
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130822
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/the-trouble-with-venting-your-troubles-at-work.html
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/08/dear_prudence_my_father_gave_himself_lung_cancer_by_smoking_he_deserves.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/the-dark-side-of-the-mom.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130823
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/loser-guys-and-the-women-who-love-them-2013-08-23.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/know-the-word-abuse-in-the-workplace-before-using-it.html
In reading that first letter......let me get this straight....the manager is "abusive" because she DARED to say "NO"?
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/know-the-word-abuse-in-the-workplace-before-using-it.html
In reading that first letter......let me get this straight....the manager is "abusive" because she DARED to say "NO"?
That was an odd one, Bonesie, the manager appeared to me to be going out of her way to make sure her employee was well enough to work. That's a good thing, not bad, I'm not sure what the employee was complaining about here. Most people complain about being bullied to go back to work before they're well enough, not the other way around!
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/know-the-word-abuse-in-the-workplace-before-using-it.html
In reading that first letter......let me get this straight....the manager is "abusive" because she DARED to say "NO"?
That was an odd one, Bonesie, the manager appeared to me to be going out of her way to make sure her employee was well enough to work. That's a good thing, not bad, I'm not sure what the employee was complaining about here. Most people complain about being bullied to go back to work before they're well enough, not the other way around!
I agree. In her line of work, if she dropped an elderly patient because her back went out again, it would be BAD for both of them!
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/long-in-the-tooth-behind-the-wheel.html
I've been cutting WAY back on my own driving due to my vision changes and other health issues. I recognize that, as a Senior Citizen, my reflexes and my sight are NOT what they used to be when I first started driving in my 20's. And yet, I STILL get strange looks when I attempt to explain why I need alternate transportation to get from Point A to Point B and the bus just does NOT go there. (Plus, cabs are expensive for those of us on fixed incomes.) Inevitably, some moron will comment: "But....you're not that old! You can drive yourself there!" They just don't get it!!!
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130824
-
And when they don't get it...you don't have to justify it for their benefit...
Calm, serene Bones, just stating what she needs.
People can understand or not...
but our Bones knows what she knows.
xxoo
Hops
-
And when they don't get it...you don't have to justify it for their benefit...
Calm, serene Bones, just stating what she needs.
People can understand or not...
but our Bones knows what she knows.
xxoo
Hops
Thanks, Hops!
-
I was busy cooking at a Pool Party this afternoon and wound up having to shout. The only other committee member that showed up to assist also insisted on being a Pain-in-the ASS and a pill about EVERYTHING! No matter what was going RIGHT, he just had to pick it apart and be NEGATIVE, NEGATIVE, NEGATIVE!!!! :P He also attempted to compromise the food safety because he "NEVER gets sick, therefore it shouldn't hurt anyone else!" I told him to back off and leave it alone! I also wanted to tell him to "PISS OFF" but there were children around so I had to watch my language!
Sheesh!!!!
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130825
"Abby" doesn't get it about the controlling mother who is attempting to order her daughter and son-in-law to have children because SHE wants a grandchild and is using the family farm to attempt to FORCE the issue.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/too-many-joints-in-joint-ownership.html
The advice columnists just don't get it about addiction. When one attempts to talk to a drunk, while their drinking, the only thing you wind up talking to is the alcohol, not the person! Then you toss in pot PLUS Vicodin and one has one HELL of a mess to contend with!
-
This article REALLY upsets me:
http://www.addictinginfo.org/2013/08/25/south-carolina-restaurant-denies-service-to-african-americans-on-orders-of-threatened-white-customer-video/
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/troubling-facebook-post-warrants-followup.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130826
The character that the first letter writer describes sounds like a "playa" who is probably already married and lying about it. If he's not married, then he's got several women "on the string". Can we say: "Chain-chain-chain! Chain of fools" or "Mister Big Stuff"?
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/08/help_my_husband_doesn_t_want_me_to_expose_his_affair_but_i_think_i_should.html
-
Bones, I am SO happy your dental work is going to be covered!
I am joyfully imagining a big Bones GRIN.
xxoo
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
I'll be meeting with the new dentist next Monday. I hope to get this resolved soon as it's uncomfortable to eat.
Took me until now to be able to verbalize anything.
I went to see the new dentist and the appointment did NOT go well at all. She wanted to rip out my implant because she really did not know what to do with it. She also wanted to rip out other teeth, including those with root canals, because they have become worn down, etc. She thought everything was infected. TRUST ME, if that many teeth were infected simultaneously, I WOULD BE THE FIRST TO KNOW! (She's so young, she looks like she just recently graduated from dental school.) Right before that, the peridontist told me that my gums were fine and she didn't see any sign of infection anywhere! I told her, (the dentist), that she was NOT going to rip out my implant, resulting in my jawbone being ripped and torn to shreds, then having to wait ANOTHER TWO YEARS for my jawbone to heal because of my osteopenia before anything else can be done. I've had enough of THAT! Besides, the implant is at the stage where all it needs is to have the top put on it! After everything I went through, plus the expense, waiting for the implant to be ready for completion, I'm NOT having it ripped out by some kid who doesn't know how to work with implants nor work with people over a certain age!
Now I have to go back to my dental insurance to see if they can find someone who can work with my situation. I sent the insurance people an e-mail because my landline phone is not working.....again!
I'm PISSED OFF!!!!! :x
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/sex-hater-seeks-help.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130827
-
Not in a good mood today as I continue searching for another new dentist close to home. I'm sick of everything hitting at one time!
-
http://t.money.msn.com/now/great-wealth-brings-great-narcissism-study-says
just for you Bones
-
http://t.money.msn.com/now/great-wealth-brings-great-narcissism-study-says
just for you Bones
Reminds me of the old saying: "The love of money is the root of all evil." It also reminds me of how Ebenezer Scrooge behaved.
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130828
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/prescription-ptsd.html
Shaking my head............................................
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/facing-fetal-alcohol-syndrome.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130829
-
I'm not sure if I had mentioned this earlier or not.....
One of my neighbors is being a HUGE Pain-in-the-Ass about how she is ENTITLED to a SPECIAL EXCEPTION to what the Condo Docs requires! :P She installed BROWN WOODEN BLINDS in her windows and the Condo Docs REQUIRE that any window treatments facing out the windows MUST BE WHITE. She received a letter from the HOA stating this fact and she got up in my face, TWICE, DEMANDING that I give HER a SPECIAL EXCEPTION to what the Condo Docs require! :shock: I told her that I do NOT have that kind of authority!!!! I also informed her that she will need to come to the scheduled hearing to discuss her case. She got mad and SCREAMED at me about how SHE is ENTITLED because she had lived in the condos since 1994! (AHEM, lady....the condos were NOT built until 1997!) I repeated, again, that she will need to attend the scheduled hearing to discuss her case and I terminated the conversation.
Last night, during a budget meeting with the other Board members, I learned that this HUGE Pain-in-the-Ass somehow managed to finagle the private cellphone number from the grandchildren of another Board member and CALLED her while the Board member was out of town, on vacation, with her husband! :shock: This other Board member was highly annoyed when she realized that the phone call, interrupting her vacation time, was NOT an emergency and that the caller was DEMANDING a SPECIAL EXCEPTION to what the Condo Docs require regarding her window treatments!! What part of the word "NO" does this condo owner NOT understand? :?
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/08/dear_prudence_i_missed_out_on_everything_by_having_a_kid.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130830
That first letter has me shaking my head......
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/autistic-boy-needs-compassion-along-with-goody-bag.html
Looks like there's a lot of nonsense going on among the adults among these letters...........................
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/tall-tales-and-lap-dances-2013-08-30.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/don-t-jump-to-turn-seeming-secret-into-tragedy.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130831
-
Not in a good place today.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/more-thin-than-thick.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130901
Let me get this straight.....you borrowed $3,000, you repaid that loan in full, she CHOSE NOT to cash that check, and NOW she's demanding that you repay the loan that you have ALREADY REPAID?!?!?!? What is wrong with this picture?
-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LF0IhyAasWw
-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LF0IhyAasWw
I hope the cops got her!!!! GEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-
I wonder if Oprah is Narcissistic
-
I wonder if Oprah is Narcissistic
Have no idea.
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130902
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/what-s-in-a-name-mom.html
-
Sorry I missed that post about your being in a bad place Bones...
are you feeling any better today?
I so wish you could get to a nature-place, recharge that big creative
soul of yours.
hugs,
Hopw
-
Sorry I missed that post about your being in a bad place Bones...
are you feeling any better today?
I so wish you could get to a nature-place, recharge that big creative
soul of yours.
hugs,
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
I'm still trying to find a dentist, near my home, that is willing to work with me and my insurance. I refuse to have my implant plus other teeth ripped out for no reason. It's frustrating!
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/florida-bound-feels-badgered-to-stay.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130903
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/09/dear_prudence_my_son_s_public_school_teacher_proselytizes_her_christianity.html
-
How is it going?
-
How is it going?
I just woke up to start my day. It's already frustrating when my coffee maker sprung a leak and water went everywhere this morning instead of into my coffee cup. Looks like a new coffee maker has to be placed on the list along with the new water heater. :P
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130904
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/atrial-fibrillation-screening-saves-lives.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/09/dear_prudie_my_daughter_s_birthday_is_on_9_11.html
This kid is about to turn 12. I can't blame her for feeling the way she does.
-
Just had a STRANGE thing happen a few moments ago. When I clicked on the link for the Voicelessness Board from my e-mail, the message I got was: "Server Not Found". :shock: Then, after several more attempts, the website finally came up! WEIRD!!!!
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/son-s-reaction-far-worse-than-mom-s-habit.html
I can't help but have the suspicion that the advice columnists edit the letters, to fit the space, and edit out pertinent details that would have the letter make more sense. Some days, the letters sound as if they have HUGE holes in them where additional information has been stripped away.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130905
That first letter writer HAS NO CLUE what it's like to struggle to survive on a FIXED income while dealing with medical issues!!!! I've been TRYING to get work so I can pay my medical bills, student loan, AND deal with the aftermath of flood damage plus the insurance deductible! Lavish lifestyle my A$$!!!! :P
-
Hear, hear.
I hear you, Bones.
The tone-deafness of the privileged, or even just the financially secure,
gets to me too at times.
xo
Hops
-
Hear, hear.
I hear you, Bones.
The tone-deafness of the privileged, or even just the financially secure,
gets to me too at times.
xo
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
Until they walk a mile in our shoes, and experience what we live with every day, they just won't get it!
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/09/dear_prudence_my_father_won_t_make_a_will.html
That first letter.......YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!! What a MESS!!!
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/beware-the-minefield-of-other-people-s-children.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/surprise-2013-09-06.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130906
-
I just got word that one of my favorite authors died this morning from cancer. I've had the pleasure of meeting her at Star Trek conventions and attending workshops that she conducted. I have her books on my shelf and still enjoy re-reading them. The Star Trek conventions will never be the same now that's she's gone. She's no longer in pain and, at the same time, I HATE CANCER!!!!! It's taken away many talented people including Mark Lenard, DeForest Kelley, George Harrison...... :(
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Bones do some last names really have no meaning and no origin? Like what do you think the last name crandlemire means or comes from? Like I know my last name came from the british isles.
I thought all names really had some kind of greater history. What do you think?
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Bones do some last names really have no meaning and no origin? Like what do you think the last name crandlemire means or comes from? Like I know my last name came from the british isles.
I thought all names really had some kind of greater history. What do you think?
Good morning, Bean.
Yes, names have a history. Many, many, many, many moons ago, people didn't have surnames or family names as we take for granted today. There were often given names plus some sort of characteristic that would distinguish that individual within his tribe or village such as Big John, or Little John, Eric the Red, John's Son, (Johnson), Ben the Blacksmith, (Ben Smith).
I'll look up Crandlemire as the origin of that name now has me curious.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/crying-won-t-change-a-cheater.html
The second letter sounds painfully familiar.
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130907
-
Bones do some last names really have no meaning and no origin? Like what do you think the last name crandlemire means or comes from? Like I know my last name came from the british isles.
I thought all names really had some kind of greater history. What do you think?
Good morning, Bean.
Yes, names have a history. Many, many, many, many moons ago, people didn't have surnames or family names as we take for granted today. There were often given names plus some sort of characteristic that would distinguish that individual within his tribe or village such as Big John, or Little John, Eric the Red, John's Son, (Johnson), Ben the Blacksmith, (Ben Smith).
I'll look up Crandlemire as the origin of that name now has me curious.
If you're interested in genealogy, you can also look on Ancestry.com.
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130908
That first letter writer has a FULL plate!
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/her-guy-s-talking-jewelry-with-his-ex.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/her-guy-s-talking-jewelry-with-his-ex.html
I was really surprised by the response to the second letter about the person who keeps being questioned about their assistance dog - disabled people have a right to privacy and to be seen as people rather than being defined by 'what they can't do'. I don't see those sort of questions from complete strangers as being curious, I find them rude and offensive (from adults, I don't mind from kids). It's different when you are getting to know someone, of course you'll both ask questions but I've been quizzed in the street by complete strangers about my son's disability and it's terribly invasive. I wouldn't march up to someone and ask for information about their toilet habits or their sex lives, why should people be expected to give out personal information about their health to people they don't know?
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/her-guy-s-talking-jewelry-with-his-ex.html
I was really surprised by the response to the second letter about the person who keeps being questioned about their assistance dog - disabled people have a right to privacy and to be seen as people rather than being defined by 'what they can't do'. I don't see those sort of questions from complete strangers as being curious, I find them rude and offensive (from adults, I don't mind from kids). It's different when you are getting to know someone, of course you'll both ask questions but I've been quizzed in the street by complete strangers about my son's disability and it's terribly invasive. I wouldn't march up to someone and ask for information about their toilet habits or their sex lives, why should people be expected to give out personal information about their health to people they don't know?
I agree. It's just as invasive to walk up to a pregnant woman and grab her belly without permission! Sheesh!
When I've encountered others with service animals, I usually comment that their Fur-Baby is GORGEOUS....and they always are! :D (Can you tell I love animals?) We then talk about their Fur-children, their names, how old they are, and I always ask permission, first, if I can say 'hello' to the Fur-Baby too. By then, we're usually seated and yakking away and sharing about mutual challenges that we have in common. I often imagine how I would feel if someone, a total stranger, walked up to me and invaded my space without permission. It would NOT be pretty!
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/why-mom-chooses-her-pedophile-over-her-daughter.html
The first letter contains triggers for those of us with PTSD.
The second letter is about a relative with a "self-trained service animal" that has a history of acting out and nipping. To me, the operative word is "self-trained", NOT professionally trained. If the dog has NOT been professionally trained as a service animal, (and that training is quite extensive), then the dog is a PET and NOT a "service animal" at all. The relative sounds like an N who would invent any tall tale to force others around them to obey every edict. If it were up to me, I'd tell this relative that their dog is NOT invited and not buy into the tall tales about how this "piece of perfection" is ENTITLED to "self-train", etc., etc.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130909
The first letter may also contain triggers for those of us with PTSD.
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I'm not sure if I had mentioned this earlier or not.....
One of my neighbors is being a HUGE Pain-in-the-Ass about how she is ENTITLED to a SPECIAL EXCEPTION to what the Condo Docs requires! :P She installed BROWN WOODEN BLINDS in her windows and the Condo Docs REQUIRE that any window treatments facing out the windows MUST BE WHITE. She received a letter from the HOA stating this fact and she got up in my face, TWICE, DEMANDING that I give HER a SPECIAL EXCEPTION to what the Condo Docs require! :shock: I told her that I do NOT have that kind of authority!!!! I also informed her that she will need to come to the scheduled hearing to discuss her case. She got mad and SCREAMED at me about how SHE is ENTITLED because she had lived in the condos since 1994! (AHEM, lady....the condos were NOT built until 1997!) I repeated, again, that she will need to attend the scheduled hearing to discuss her case and I terminated the conversation.
Last night, during a budget meeting with the other Board members, I learned that this HUGE Pain-in-the-Ass somehow managed to finagle the private cellphone number from the grandchildren of another Board member and CALLED her while the Board member was out of town, on vacation, with her husband! :shock: This other Board member was highly annoyed when she realized that the phone call, interrupting her vacation time, was NOT an emergency and that the caller was DEMANDING a SPECIAL EXCEPTION to what the Condo Docs require regarding her window treatments!! What part of the word "NO" does this condo owner NOT understand? :?
I know attempting to reason with an N is an exercise in futility! Being a Board member puts me in the unavoidable position of having to deal with this N anyway!!! EW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :P (I just got an e-mail from her with the accusation that I'm "Playing Favorites" because she is NOT being granted a "special exception"!) Dammit!!!!!!
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/her-guy-s-talking-jewelry-with-his-ex.html
I was really surprised by the response to the second letter about the person who keeps being questioned about their assistance dog - disabled people have a right to privacy and to be seen as people rather than being defined by 'what they can't do'. I don't see those sort of questions from complete strangers as being curious, I find them rude and offensive (from adults, I don't mind from kids). It's different when you are getting to know someone, of course you'll both ask questions but I've been quizzed in the street by complete strangers about my son's disability and it's terribly invasive. I wouldn't march up to someone and ask for information about their toilet habits or their sex lives, why should people be expected to give out personal information about their health to people they don't know?
I agree. It's just as invasive to walk up to a pregnant woman and grab her belly without permission! Sheesh!
When I've encountered others with service animals, I usually comment that their Fur-Baby is GORGEOUS....and they always are! :D (Can you tell I love animals?) We then talk about their Fur-children, their names, how old they are, and I always ask permission, first, if I can say 'hello' to the Fur-Baby too. By then, we're usually seated and yakking away and sharing about mutual challenges that we have in common. I often imagine how I would feel if someone, a total stranger, walked up to me and invaded my space without permission. It would NOT be pretty!
I agree completely, Bones, information gets shared in the natural course of getting to know another person (or their pet!) but for people to just ask without any other preamble is just rude, and sometimes people with the same condition recognise it in others very quickly and of course there's a sort of camaraderie in that but I used to get complete strangers asking me why he was in a buggy (special needs buggy, to me it was obvious, why in the world would I push a child almost as big as me around in a pushchair that was almost as tall as I was, do they think I just liked the challenge of getting it up the hill on the way home?!) And it's demeaning for the other person to only be seen in terms of their disability or health problem, or in the case of that letter in terms of their animal and what it can do for them! It's not hard to just be friendly and say hi and chat about the weather, most people appreciate that sort of thing.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/her-guy-s-talking-jewelry-with-his-ex.html
I was really surprised by the response to the second letter about the person who keeps being questioned about their assistance dog - disabled people have a right to privacy and to be seen as people rather than being defined by 'what they can't do'. I don't see those sort of questions from complete strangers as being curious, I find them rude and offensive (from adults, I don't mind from kids). It's different when you are getting to know someone, of course you'll both ask questions but I've been quizzed in the street by complete strangers about my son's disability and it's terribly invasive. I wouldn't march up to someone and ask for information about their toilet habits or their sex lives, why should people be expected to give out personal information about their health to people they don't know?
I agree. It's just as invasive to walk up to a pregnant woman and grab her belly without permission! Sheesh!
When I've encountered others with service animals, I usually comment that their Fur-Baby is GORGEOUS....and they always are! :D (Can you tell I love animals?) We then talk about their Fur-children, their names, how old they are, and I always ask permission, first, if I can say 'hello' to the Fur-Baby too. By then, we're usually seated and yakking away and sharing about mutual challenges that we have in common. I often imagine how I would feel if someone, a total stranger, walked up to me and invaded my space without permission. It would NOT be pretty!
I agree completely, Bones, information gets shared in the natural course of getting to know another person (or their pet!) but for people to just ask without any other preamble is just rude, and sometimes people with the same condition recognise it in others very quickly and of course there's a sort of camaraderie in that but I used to get complete strangers asking me why he was in a buggy (special needs buggy, to me it was obvious, why in the world would I push a child almost as big as me around in a pushchair that was almost as tall as I was, do they think I just liked the challenge of getting it up the hill on the way home?!) And it's demeaning for the other person to only be seen in terms of their disability or health problem, or in the case of that letter in terms of their animal and what it can do for them! It's not hard to just be friendly and say hi and chat about the weather, most people appreciate that sort of thing.
Yes! From my perspective, my disabilities do NOT define me as a human being!
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/09/dear_prudence_i_m_gay_i_m_married_and_my_husband_wasn_t_invited_to_a_family.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130910
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/hubby-s-a-heavy-drinker-in-need-of-a-checkup.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/freelancer-tired-of-freeloaders.html
I've dealt with freeloaders....NOT fun! :P
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130911
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/09/dear_prudence_my_wife_no_longer_likes_sex_after_cancer_treatment_so_i_cheated.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130912
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/no-one-is-forcing-free-meds-down-their-throats.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/too-many-kids-too-many-hours-for-one-grandma.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130913
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http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/home-alone-2013-09-13.html
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Hi, sweet (((((((Bones)))))...
Thank you for the links!
hugz
Hops
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Hi, sweet (((((((Bones)))))...
Thank you for the links!
hugz
Hops
You're welcome, ((((((((((((((Hops)))))))))).
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/how-to-give-your-cat-a-pill.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130914
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130915
Regarding the last letter, I've known some twits who behaved this way and they are no longer part of the social circle.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/using-and-abusing-grandma.html
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That's an incredibly sad one, Bones.
Rang some bells.
Hops
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That's an incredibly sad one, Bones.
Rang some bells.
Hops
Definitely! I would have called Adult Protective Services a long time ago!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130916
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/and-now-quot-she-s-quot-irish-step-dancing.html
Regarding the letter about the pool......where I live, we have a LOCKED FENCE around the pool PLUS signs CLEARLY stating PRIVATE PROPERTY. That has NEVER stopped trespassers who feel ENTITLED to use OUR pool WITHOUT permission and climb the fence anyway! We've even called the local police about the trespassers only to be given the runaround, by the cops, while the trespassers stood there and SMIRKED!! It took several YEARS before we were FINALLY able to stop the trespassers coming into our pool area. It was a HUGE Pain in the Butt!!!! :P
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Feeling a bit aggravated this morning with my property management that has been going on since last week. I HATE dealing with people who (1) do NOT live here and (2) claim they KNOW IT ALL when they don't know JACK-SH*T-NOTHING!!!
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/09/dear_prudence_my_husband_doesn_t_want_me_to_get_pregnant_but_i_am.html
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Feeling really shaken by the killings at the Washington Navy Yard today! How often have I traveled by that area over the years?
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/barbequed-rodent.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130917
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Feeling :P
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Bones are you close to the Naval Yard place???
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Bones are you close to the Naval Yard place???
I've traveled by there frequently.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/ditched-for-the-in-laws.html
Why do I get the feeling that there is more to this than meets the eye?
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Just got home from a friend's funeral. A lot of mixed feelings going on.
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Sorry about the funeral Bones, how did you know the person?
http://now.msn.com/baby-elephant-in-china-rejected-by-mom-wept-inconsolably
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Sorry about the funeral Bones, how did you know the person?
http://now.msn.com/baby-elephant-in-china-rejected-by-mom-wept-inconsolably
I've known these friends, as a couple, for several decades. He died from PSP.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/between-him-and-his-children-is-not-a-good-place-to-be.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130919
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/09/dear_prudence_my_child_has_a_high_iq_and_it_worries_me.html
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I've had some acquaintances ask me to give out a mutual friend's street address via e-mail. I've informed them that I will need to check with this friend, FIRST, before I share ANY personal information as e-mails have never been secure due to hacking. The reaction I got back from one of these acquaintances was that she got huffy, claiming that she's known the mutual friend since elementary school. I'm thinking.....this acquaintance had PLENTY of time and PLENTY of opportunities to get this information STRAIGHT FROM THE SOURCE over the last several years during various reunions and informal get-togethers. The friend-in-question has lived at the same address for about 40 years. As far as I can see, it is an issue of BOUNDARIES. I wouldn't like it if someone gave out my personal information via e-mail without my knowledge or permission and I'm NOT doing that to others!
I can't call the friend today as the private in-urn-ment is taking place today and I don't know what time that will be. It's going to be a rough day for her and I don't want to intrude by calling at the wrong time. I do plan on calling her tomorrow to (1) see how she's holding up, (2) what help she needs, (3) asking her about what information she feels comfortable being shared with former classmates. I feel she should be the one making those decisions that SHE feels comfortable with instead of having stuff imposed on her by others who ASSUME she wouldn't mind.
Know what I mean?
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Yah it is fine Bones, I probably wouldn't give out info. People who are friends usually already know how to contact each other.
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Yah it is fine Bones, I probably wouldn't give out info. People who are friends usually already know how to contact each other.
Thanks, Bean.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130920
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/saving-a-marriage-requires-more-than-saying-you-want-to.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/an-unusual-display-of-spousal-affection.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/abusive-boss-doesn-t-discriminate.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/phone-sex-friend-with-dementia-or-foe.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130921
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So Dear Abby thinks the husband is OCD. I think they simply sound like different personalities.
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So Dear Abby thinks the husband is OCD. I think they simply sound like different personalities.
I have no idea.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130922
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/the-secret-lives-of-prison-guards.html
Once again, the "Annies" are CLUELESS when it comes to dealing with N-Womb Donors and N-Sperm Donors!!!!
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/her-lack-of-motivation-is-more-than-laziness.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130923
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/09/dear_prudence_i_totally_lost_my_cool_arguing_with_my_husband_i_m_so_embarrassed.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130924
That first letter......YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/tolerating-mama-s-drama.html
Based on what I'm reading, it sounds as if this "Drama Queen" is an N......BIG TIME!!!!! And she knows EXACTLY what she is doing while attempting to force her manipulations on both her son and future-daughter-in-law.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130924
That first letter......YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Definitely, Bonesie, rang some bells with me esp. the accidental opening of letters and bank statements :{
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130924
That first letter......YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Definitely, Bonesie, rang some bells with me esp. the accidental opening of letters and bank statements :{
Yeah! Once again, the advice columnists are CLUELESS about N's!
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/if-your-marriage-is-a-corpse-bury-it.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130925
In reading that first letter, I couldn't help but wonder if the 21-year-old has LEGAL custody of her 16-year-old sister in addition to PHYSICAL custody? If their parents did not relinquish LEGAL custody to their eldest daughter, then the 21-year-old CANNOT make ANY decisions that impact the 16-year-old.
How do I know this? I've encountered a similar situation while I was working at a high school for the Deaf. A 16-year-old arrived at the residential school WITHOUT the required medical records, WITHOUT required vaccinations, and WITHOUT the required documentation from a family court stating that the kid's college-aged sister could make any decisions regarding consent for medical treatment, etc. That put my office between a rock and a hard place in every legal sense of the word. Mess was an understatement!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130926
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/your-guy-s-sister-s-friends-are-none-of-your-biz.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/09/dear_prudie_my_friend_s_laugh_is_awful_can_i_tell_her.html
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not sure if you pay attention to pop-culture but this is funny, a video that is a spoof on Miley Cyrus:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aH2jJdBkGgs
Truly, I have been on the computer way too much recently.
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not sure if you pay attention to pop-culture but this is funny, a video that is a spoof on Miley Cyrus:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aH2jJdBkGgs
Truly, I have been on the computer way too much recently.
Hi, Bean.
I'm of an age where I prefer to ignore Miley Cyrus and her antics.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/goodnight-sexy-signoff.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130927
Regarding "Rory" who hovers over the dinner table without sitting down or eating anything....I would have spoke up and said something too. If he wants to throw a temper snit, I'd show him the door. My house, my rules! If his daddy wants to be a silent wimp and refuse to say anything about anything after all this time of observing rude behaviors from his son, let daddy live with the consequences. There's this concept that people don't seem to understand....BOUNDARIES! No one is ENTITLED to show up UNANNOUNCED, in the MIDDLE OF DINNER, then HOVER over you while you are in the MIDDLE of EATING and the Interloper CONSISTENTLY REFUSES TO SIT DOWN AND/OR EAT!!!! That would ANNOY the HELL OUT OF ME AFTER THE THIRD TIME!!!!
:P
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Woke up feeling really Depressed this morning. :P
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/why-the-women-he-meets-leave.html
One of the letters specifically discusses N's. It appears that NO ONE really understands what us survivors deal with on a DAILY basis given the responses from both the advice columnists and the comments below the line. Sheesh!!!! :P
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/apply-your-higher-learning.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130929
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Maybe I'm old school.....certain things annoy the HELL out of me such as the following:
(1) Being talked down to, as if I'm a child, regarding HOW I'm spending my money in a cafe' by the cafe' manager. (NICE way of alienating your customers and losing their business when your business is DEPENDENT on RETURNING customers! Plus, I AM NOT A CHILD!)
(2) Having someone focus ENTIRELY on texting while I'm trying to hold a conversation. (NOT easy for any Aspie to try to hold or maintain a conversation while the other individual has their eyes glued to their iPhone and not even grunt any acknowledgement of the attempted conversation.)
(3) Having that same someone turn their back and walk away in the middle of introductions being made and turn their attention back to the iPhone. (There is being Aspie and, then again, there is BEING RUDE! :P)
I finally said to myself, "SCREW THIS!" and came back home!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130930
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/widowed-for-the-holidays.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/09/dear_prudence_i_m_being_stalked_by_the_man_who_saw_me_through_a_.html
YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :shock:
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Speaking up and doing the right thing is so hard when one has been trained to be stomped down at all costs!
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/nurse-regrets-and-options-in-therapy.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131001
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Trying hard to stay calm today even though I have the overwhelming urge to bitch-slap tea-bagger idiots! The small business I was trying to build has been, effectively, PUT OUT OF BUSINESS because these clowns refuse to play nice! !@#$%!@$!!!!!!!!!!!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131002
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/she-s-marrying-this-guy.html
I think she should be glad that she's not in arm's reach of these two units who are STILL attempting to ram their control down her throat! Makes me think of when my GCB announced that he was getting married in one week. The NWomb-Donor threw another hissy fit because, in her view, SHE OWNED HIM! She REFUSED to acknowledge that: (1) he was 25 at the time, (2) he had been living independently for SEVEN YEARS, and (3) he had EVERY RIGHT to HAVE A LIFE INDEPENDENT OF HER ROYAL @#$%NESS!
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/10/dear_prudence_i_m_hurt_when_my_husband_turns_me_down_for_sex.html
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/09/dear_prudence_my_future_sister_in_law_wants_us_to_delay_the_wedding_until.html
This sister-in-law sounds like an N!!!!!!! :shock:
-
Trying hard to stay calm today even though I have the overwhelming urge to bitch-slap tea-bagger idiots! The small business I was trying to build has been, effectively, PUT OUT OF BUSINESS because these clowns refuse to play nice! !@#$%!@$!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh no Bonesie, what's been happening! Sounds really tough to deal with, hope you can get something sorted.
-
Trying hard to stay calm today even though I have the overwhelming urge to bitch-slap tea-bagger idiots! The small business I was trying to build has been, effectively, PUT OUT OF BUSINESS because these clowns refuse to play nice! !@#$%!@$!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh no Bonesie, what's been happening! Sounds really tough to deal with, hope you can get something sorted.
Thanks, Tupp!
This government shut-down by Narcissistic Tea-Bagger bullies is EFFED UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/porn-love-dad.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131003
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/10/dear_prudence_my_friend_may_have_uploaded_revenge_porn_of_his_ex.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131004
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/better-off-without-bully-hubby.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/a-wonderful-caring-and-timorous-man.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/executor-betrayal.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131005
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131006
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/not-her-place-to-ban-the-cop.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/depression-screening-to-the-rescue.html
-
http://lovemeow.com/2013/10/pepper-the-cat-shredding-notes/
I've never known a cat would do this.
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/10/dear_prudence_my_assistant_told_half_the_school_i_was_pregnant_before_i.html
That assistant sounds like an N!
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/mental-illness-trumps-good-parenting.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131008
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/10/dear_prudie_my_daughter_got_pregnant_at_her_friend_s_party_and_now_the_owners.html
I can understand the father's anger and, right now, he's so angry that he's not thinking straight. I wish there was a way to say to him: "I hear you! You're angry that your 16-year-old kid is pregnant. Vent before you DO anything because decisions made in anger are usually VERY BAD decisions!"
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131009
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/run-at-the-speed-of-light-from-this-one.html
That first letter has a LOT of RED FLAGS!
-
I don't blame the adult children for telling the truth! They must have lived through HELL and it annoys me when strangers, who have NO clue, attempt to tell them how they should feel or what they should be allowed to say. People who have never experienced abuse do NOT understand the PTSD flashbacks and the trauma that comes out of being forced to live in hell with a monster who should never have been allowed anywhere near children. I've seen and heard strangers say: "Well, go get therapy!" Tried that. The problem is that the therapists around my geographic area CANNOT wrap their brains around the concept that there are monsters who give birth to their own victims and who enjoy raping and torturing them for their own self-gratification. These "therapists" are ineffective, at best, or psychologically abusive at worse, leaving survivors worse off and less willing to attempt therapy again when trust is, once again, violated.
And I'm still wrestling with this..............
-
Yikers, Bones. The man in that column is terrifying.
What's more terrifying is the state of the self-esteem of the woman
who is pondering whether to stick with him.
Very sad. And I know I spent a looooooooooong time trying to get
cold men to be loving. Not as extreme as with the bully described,
but it's all the same issue at the core.
Glad to be reminded that it's worse to be miserable in a relationship
than to find moments of happiness alone....
thanks,
Hops
-
Yikers, Bones. The man in that column is terrifying.
What's more terrifying is the state of the self-esteem of the woman
who is pondering whether to stick with him.
Very sad. And I know I spent a looooooooooong time trying to get
cold men to be loving. Not as extreme as with the bully described,
but it's all the same issue at the core.
Glad to be reminded that it's worse to be miserable in a relationship
than to find moments of happiness alone....
thanks,
Hops
Yes! Being with a bully who abuses you is not worth sticking around. I hope she sees the RED FLAGS and RUNS!!!!!!
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/bringing-male-rape-out-of-the-dark.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131010
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/10/dear_prudence_i_was_raped_by_my_boyfriend_s_friend_but_i_m_afraid_my_boyfriend.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131011
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/the-law-is-the-only-way-out-of-a-legal-guardianship.html
Regarding the first letter, unfortunately this is not a unique situation. This kind of financial abuse of vulnerable people has happened many times. I recall that there was a case on Judge Judy where a young lady was injured in an accident while she was still a child and her mother managed to snatch almost all of the settlement money for herself while the child got NOTHING! The womb-donor actually threw this child into foster care because it was "too inconvenient to be a mother"! :P Then the mother had the audacity to SUE the daughter for the balance because the now-adult daughter was finally able to obtain the last portion of the settlement. When Judge Judy realized what this so-called "mother" had ACTUALLY DONE to her own child and this plaintiff was clearly LYING about how SHE was ENTITLED, the Judge ripped that greedy !@#$ a NEW ONE!!!! The daughter-defendant won the case.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/good-luck-in-disguise-2013-10-11.html
The first letter writer mentions a LOT of RED FLAGS that she seems to be unable to recognize! :shock:
-
I'm so tired!
No matter how hard I try to figure out HOW to BE a friend with 3-D people around me, I keep screwing up!
-
((((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))
I'm sorry, sweetie.
You are feeling discouraged right now
but I KNOW you can be a wonderful friend.
Don't give up.
love to you,
Hops
-
((((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))
I'm sorry, sweetie.
You are feeling discouraged right now
but I KNOW you can be a wonderful friend.
Don't give up.
love to you,
Hops
Thanks, (((((((Hops)))))))))))
This has been a life-long struggle for me ever since I was little. I feel like an alien on the wrong planet.
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131012
I'd like to tell that first letter writer that even though I'm a Senior Citizen, I still have a teddy bear within reach. It has helped when my anxiety started getting out of control and it's a lot healthier than popping addictive pills.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/monthly-allowance-for-biased-mom.html
Once again, the "Annies" are CLUELESS!!!!!! I wish we could talk to the daughter and let her know that she is NOT alone in dealing with an NWomb-Donor and a Golden Child Brother. She owes them NOTHING!!!!! She needs to take care of her own retirement preparations because it's guaranteed they will NEVER help her....only SNATCH AND GRAB what they can TAKE and then tell her to go #$%^ herself when she needs support!
-
Tried to get out and about in the community and found myself struggling with the overwhelming urge to go hide.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/let-there-be-exes.html
Is it me or do I see Red Flags?
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131013
-
That John is absolutely NOT into anything but having his freedom cake and eating it too (and making sure she doesn't get a crumb).
Ugh. Another great example of a woman accepting "any relationship better than no relationship..."
I understand that loneliness can drive one that way, though. Has me at times.
Hops
-
That John is absolutely NOT into anything but having his freedom cake and eating it too (and making sure she doesn't get a crumb).
Ugh. Another great example of a woman accepting "any relationship better than no relationship..."
I understand that loneliness can drive one that way, though. Has me at times.
Hops
*Shaking my head*
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131014
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/divorcing-power-of-attorney.html
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/10/dear_prudence_i_m_a_breast_cancer_survivor_who_thinks_national_breast_cancer.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/dining-with-the-flirt.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131015
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/10/dear_prudence_my_mother_in_law_can_t_stand_my_having_sex_with_her_son.html
Ummmmm, what does the mother-in-law expect?
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131016
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/-just-dating-to-in-a-relationship.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/wrecked-at-the-reunion.html
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/10/dear_prudence_i_once_had_a_one_night_stand_with_my_new_crush_s_brother.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131017
-
http://www.addictinginfo.org/2013/10/16/republicans-abusers/
NO wonder I was experiencing PTSD flashbacks through all that!!! :shock:
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131018
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/mass-makeout-sessions.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/do-you-tell-a-friend-to-shrink-2013-10-18.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/blame-the-labor-not-the-fruit.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131019
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131020
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/outright-hostility-or-bipolarity.html
Could she be an N?
-
Feeling achy and irritable today.
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131021
-
Still achy and irritable.
-
I hear you, Bones.
Have you ever read up on an anti-inflammatory diet?
It's just simple, whole foods, with a few extras westerners
often skip, like tumeric, ginger, pepper...
xo
Hops
-
I hear you, Bones.
Have you ever read up on an anti-inflammatory diet?
It's just simple, whole foods, with a few extras westerners
often skip, like tumeric, ginger, pepper...
xo
Hops
I've been trying to do that. There's just been situations going on lately that has really been pissing me off.
-
I hear you, Bones.
Have you ever read up on an anti-inflammatory diet?
It's just simple, whole foods, with a few extras westerners
often skip, like tumeric, ginger, pepper...
xo
Hops
I've been trying to do that. There's just been situations going on lately that has really been pissing me off.
One example started a couple of weeks ago after a local political candidate met my upstairs neighbor. During their conversation, the politician had the PERFECT opportunity to ask various questions of my neighbor...but didn't. Then, about a week ago, I receive an e-mail from this politician asking me to ask my upstairs neighbor to volunteer for one of his pet projects. I said, point blank, that I don't do stuff like that especially when I'm aware of what kind of schedule my neighbor(s) have. This particular neighbor is so busy that he doesn't even have the time to attend homeowners' meetings because he's heading to work at the crack of dawn and doesn't get back home until late at night. (I think he's working TWO JOBS in order to pay the bills.) I told this politician that I don't see how my upstairs neighbor is going to have the time to volunteer for this pet project given his hectic schedule.
I didn't get any response to my "No" until yesterday afternoon when a total stranger calls my landline and asks for me by name. When I asked what this call was about, he commented that the local politician had asked him to call me to request that I speak with my upstairs neighbor about volunteering for this pet project of his. (WTF?!?!?!? What PART of the word "NO" did this politician NOT understand?!?!?) I told this caller that I do NOT do stuff like that and explained WHY. He tried to beg me to ask this neighbor to volunteer and I had to repeat that this neighbor does NOT have that kind of time. He stated that they were desperate to have a volunteer for this project. I asked how complicated was it and if it was possible for me to have a look at it. He invited me to a meeting that same evening so the project could be discussed and arranged for him to give me a ride at 5:30 PM.
At 4:00 PM, he calls me back to tell me that the group had decided to handle this project themselves and he was, and I quote, DISINVITING me to their meeting. I was sorely tempted to respond with: "Thanks for aggravating me and wasting MY time with your BULLSH*T!" I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE DO CRAP LIKE THAT!!!!
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/10/dear_prudence_my_daughter_is_scared_of_my_close_relatives_new_puppy.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/kinky-husband-with-an-odorous-fetish.html
-
Hi Bones,
I know it really agitates you when people don't take a no for an answer.
Isn't it maddening? When you explain something, and people come back as though you didn't, it's frustrating.
Know you're not alone in that though! I think repetition or perseverance (perseverating is one of my favorite words) is just natural. People aren't logical...and when they neeeeeeeeeeeeeed or waaaaaaaaaaaaaaant something, often a No or an explanation is just seen as "something I can steer around if I just go FASTER).
It's not personal. And it has nothing to do with you. It's just the other person's way of maneuvering through the world.
Make sure you remember that being good to Bones, and keeping her peaceful, is more important than being right! (Must be some way to disengage, just hear the person who's repeating him/herself...as background noise...you can just repeat, too! But calmly, so you don't experience distress.)
One of my favorite lessons from an assertiveness workshop was the power of calmly repeating my statement. I always though if someone wasn't listening or didn't get it, that I had to start all over to explain my point in different WORDS. The leader said no, most of the time, you can just REPEAT JUST WHAT YOU SAID THE FIRST TIME, and keep repeating it. Her genius was in showing us how we could do that very calmly, un-upset...just saying the same sentence again in a pleasant tone. And again.
Eventually, the non-listener's brain will pause and say to itself: Huh. I think I am hearing these words again. maybe this time, I'll listen.
:)
xo
Hops
-
Thanks, Hops.
I just have no patience with politicians! They pluck my LAST nerve!
-
Can't sleep.
-
Hi Bones
-
Hi Bones
Hi, Bean.
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/10/dear_prudence_i_accidentally_insulted_a_co_worker_oops.html
-
Having muscle spasms for the past couple of days.
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131025
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/trading-kissy-face-for-real-life.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/little-pitchers-and-all-that-2013-10-25.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/everyday-cheapskate/how-to-afford-big-ticket-items.html
Because I have to depend on a small pension, I've been trying to set a small amount of money aside each month to save up for unexpected bills such as replacing the water heater and the dishwasher. Then medical emergencies hit back to back so all that emergency fund had to go toward medical bills. Now what?
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131026
Do I understand this correctly? The QUEEN #$%^ of the UNIVERSE has decreed to her daughter that if she is NOT allowed to ABUSE HER GRANDCHILD AT WILL, she will commit suicide and make the suicide the DAUGHTER'S FAULT?!?!?!?!? Now THAT is SICK!!!!
-
Bones, you did it RIGHT because you had built an emergency fund in the first place.
DAMN shame that medical expenses should wipe it out, in this country. I hope that
changes very soon for you.
Meanwhile, even if it's $25 a month, you just rebuild your fund. And seek out
whatever medical care you can scrounge, until a better plan is available....
I would go to a food bank with ZERO shame in your shoes.
love
Hops
-
Bones, you did it RIGHT because you had built an emergency fund in the first place.
DAMN shame that medical expenses should wipe it out, in this country. I hope that
changes very soon for you.
Meanwhile, even if it's $25 a month, you just rebuild your fund. And seek out
whatever medical care you can scrounge, until a better plan is available....
I would go to a food bank with ZERO shame in your shoes.
love
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131027
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/kids-and-privates.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/everyday-cheapskate/how-to-afford-big-ticket-items.html
Because I have to depend on a small pension, I've been trying to set a small amount of money aside each month to save up for unexpected bills such as replacing the water heater and the dishwasher. Then medical emergencies hit back to back so all that emergency fund had to go toward medical bills. Now what?
Sorry to read this, Bones. OUr situation is quite similar; I put money away for emergencies (thank goodness) but of course once the emergency comes it wipes your fund out and I always feel a little bit exposed in situations like that.
Things like water heaters are very expensive to replace; I'm lucky that we rent so the landlord is liable for that sort of thing and I don't have to deal with it. With things like dishwashers, in the UK we have Freecycle, an online group where people give away things they no longer need - including things like cookers, dishwashers etc. Do you have anything like that in the States? We also have charity shops who sell donated equipment and will deliver it for you, then the council have a handy man service which you have to pay for but if you have health problems or are not working the rates are reduced. None of these things are widely advertised, it takes a bit of digging around to find them? I wondered if you have any kind of thing like that to help out people on lower incomes?
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/everyday-cheapskate/how-to-afford-big-ticket-items.html
Because I have to depend on a small pension, I've been trying to set a small amount of money aside each month to save up for unexpected bills such as replacing the water heater and the dishwasher. Then medical emergencies hit back to back so all that emergency fund had to go toward medical bills. Now what?
Sorry to read this, Bones. OUr situation is quite similar; I put money away for emergencies (thank goodness) but of course once the emergency comes it wipes your fund out and I always feel a little bit exposed in situations like that.
Things like water heaters are very expensive to replace; I'm lucky that we rent so the landlord is liable for that sort of thing and I don't have to deal with it. With things like dishwashers, in the UK we have Freecycle, an online group where people give away things they no longer need - including things like cookers, dishwashers etc. Do you have anything like that in the States? We also have charity shops who sell donated equipment and will deliver it for you, then the council have a handy man service which you have to pay for but if you have health problems or are not working the rates are reduced. None of these things are widely advertised, it takes a bit of digging around to find them? I wondered if you have any kind of thing like that to help out people on lower incomes?
Thanks, Tupp.
We also have Freecycle here. The problem with replacing both my dishwasher and water heater is that a plumber is required and they charge AN ARM AND A LEG. I've tried to find a way for reduced rates given my situation and got told: "No". I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.
-
I've been known to barter for things/services at times, Bones...
(like, I'm editing my attorney's website in exchange for a simple trust...)
I wonder if you could offer a nice family tree, to some plumber,
in exchange for the service you need? You never know--all people
are curious about their ancestry and few really know how to dig.
Just a thought...
xo
Hops
-
I've been known to barter for things/services at times, Bones...
(like, I'm editing my attorney's website in exchange for a simple trust...)
I wonder if you could offer a nice family tree, to some plumber,
in exchange for the service you need? You never know--all people
are curious about their ancestry and few really know how to dig.
Just a thought...
xo
Hops
I've already learned that the plumbers around my area do not barter.
-
Also dealing with physical ailments that have really soured my mood.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/choosing-your-attendants.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131028
-
I'm feeling REALLY PISSED OFF at 3-D people around here!
ESPECIALLY LOCAL POLITICIANS!!!!!
-
Also dealing with physical ailments that have really soured my mood.
I'm sorry to hear that, Bonesie, I hope you get some relief from that soon xx
-
Also dealing with physical ailments that have really soured my mood.
I'm sorry to hear that, Bonesie, I hope you get some relief from that soon xx
Thanks, ((((((((((((((((((((((Tupp))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
-
Went to get my Flu shot today and had a Tea Bigot behind me spouting off about how much he hates Obama, etc., etc. I turned around, looked him square in the face, and told him: "BTW, I am also BIRACIAL like my cousin Barack Obama. Are YOU calling ME those names too?!?" He dialed it back REAL FAST!!!!!!
I CAN'T STAND RACISTS!!!!!!!
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131029
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/for-the-love-not-the-money.html
-
Here's wishing you a better day, Bones....
(smart of you to get that flu shot--thanks for the reminder!)
I'm thinking about the shingles vaccine too. One thing I don't understand is that the commercials talk about anyone "who's had chicken pox has the shingles virus in their bodies already' -- well, I do understand it biologically -- but I DON'T understand whether that means only if you had the pox as a child, are you vulnerable to shingles.
Problem #2 is, I don't remember whether or not I had the pox (I know what it looks like and would've felt like, but dunno if that's memory or imagination)....and have no records from that long ago.
Do you know, Bones?
xo,
Hops
-
Here's wishing you a better day, Bones....
(smart of you to get that flu shot--thanks for the reminder!)
I'm thinking about the shingles vaccine too. One thing I don't understand is that the commercials talk about anyone "who's had chicken pox has the shingles virus in their bodies already' -- well, I do understand it biologically -- but I DON'T understand whether that means only if you had the pox as a child, are you vulnerable to shingles.
Problem #2 is, I don't remember whether or not I had the pox (I know what it looks like and would've felt like, but dunno if that's memory or imagination)....and have no records from that long ago.
Do you know, Bones?
xo,
Hops
I remember having the chicken pox when I was about five years old because I was COVERED and it ITCHED BAD!!!! I've been hearing that as I get older, the virus that is still in my system, might decide to pay me another visit. My current physician has not brought up the subject yet so I may have to be the one to broach it. I've known friends, both older and younger, who have dealt with an outbreak of shingles and they were MISERABLE!!!!! On the other hand, the Shingles Vaccine doesn't really guarantee anything, which is why I need to discuss this with the doctor at the next visit.
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/10/dear_prudence_my_husband_overdoes_it_on_our_young_daughter_s_birthdays.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/till-death-do-us-part-is-a-vow-not-a-sentence.html
Regarding Letter #2, I have a LOT of mixed feelings about it! It would also depend on the age of the child in question and if the child is old enough to understand the restrictions and why.
For example, I'm one of several co-hosts for a Community Pool Party where ALL the residents are invited. The price for admission is bringing a dish to serve to others a.k.a. Potluck. The food table is set up buffet style and everyone serves themselves. I'm on grill duty as no one else wants to deal with it. (It's "too messy".) I don't mind cooking on the grill as I often did the cooking while participating in group camping trips. (The others found it "too messy". Their loss...I find that cooking over an open fire is FUN!) I'm focusing on cooking hot dogs and hamburgers...sometimes to individual orders...i.e. "well-done" to "rare" to "cheeseburgers". Because I'm dealing with open flames, my focus has to be on what I'm DOING with the grill...NOT on policing other people's children. I am NOT the unpaid babysitter!
There is one family who invariably sends their YOUNG children to the Pool Party WITHOUT adult supervision. One of those kids has chronic health issues and is really TOO YOUNG to be at ANY party without adult supervision FROM HIS FAMILY. If the kid grabs something off the buffet table, eats it, then gets sick....DON'T LOOK AT ME!!! I am NOT the INVOLUNTARY, UNPAID BABYSITTER!
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131030
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131031
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/wedding-wrecker.html
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/10/dear_prudence_a_cute_guy_at_work_flirted_with_me_just_to_make_fun_of_me.html
This "jokester" sounds like a little punk! :P
-
In spite of Voc. Rehab. disagreeing with my home-based business, I'm still trying the best I can because it is what I ENJOY doing! If I have to earn a paycheck, I WANT TO FOLLOW MY BLISS, NOT what someone else DICTATES WHAT I SHOULD DO! I may not be able to earn a Million Dollars a year but the unexpected dividends make it all worth it! One potential client contacted me regarding her family history "brick wall" and we started brainstorming ideas. (She was trying to figure out how to discover her great-grandfather's original name when the only name she has ever known was his Americanized name. He had been dead for several years so she was stuck with this "brick wall" for a LONG TIME.) I'm somewhat familiar with foreign names as my ancestry is from both Europe and Africa.
After brainstorming back and forth for about a week, we discovered THE CLUE and the long-standing "brick wall" came CRASHING DOWN!!!! MYSTERY SOLVED and we are doing the HAPPY DANCE!!!!!! :D
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That is SO SO COOL, Bones!
I'm so happy for ((((((you!)))))
The idea of you even uttering the word "bliss" makes me smile ear to ear.
Thanks for sharing that moment,
Hops
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That is SO SO COOL, Bones!
I'm so happy for ((((((you!)))))
The idea of you even uttering the word "bliss" makes me smile ear to ear.
Thanks for sharing that moment,
Hops
Thanks, ((((((((((((Hops)))))))))).
I'm hoping that this experience will persuade more clients to hire me. I didn't charge this person anything for my brainstorming time because I was aware of the fact that without vital clues, neither one of us would be able to find anything. Now it remains to be seen if she needs to search for passenger lists from way back when.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/pastor-jekyll-and-mr-hyde-2013-11-01.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131101
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/help-yourself-help-others-2013-11-01.html
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In spite of Voc. Rehab. disagreeing with my home-based business, I'm still trying the best I can because it is what I ENJOY doing! If I have to earn a paycheck, I WANT TO FOLLOW MY BLISS, NOT what someone else DICTATES WHAT I SHOULD DO! I may not be able to earn a Million Dollars a year but the unexpected dividends make it all worth it! One potential client contacted me regarding her family history "brick wall" and we started brainstorming ideas. (She was trying to figure out how to discover her great-grandfather's original name when the only name she has ever known was his Americanized name. He had been dead for several years so she was stuck with this "brick wall" for a LONG TIME.) I'm somewhat familiar with foreign names as my ancestry is from both Europe and Africa.
After brainstorming back and forth for about a week, we discovered THE CLUE and the long-standing "brick wall" came CRASHING DOWN!!!! MYSTERY SOLVED and we are doing the HAPPY DANCE!!!!!! :D
That's really lovely, Bones. What a wonderful gift you have. It's interesting that you get so much joy from giving people their families. It says a lot about the depth of your heart and soul. Bless you xx
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In spite of Voc. Rehab. disagreeing with my home-based business, I'm still trying the best I can because it is what I ENJOY doing! If I have to earn a paycheck, I WANT TO FOLLOW MY BLISS, NOT what someone else DICTATES WHAT I SHOULD DO! I may not be able to earn a Million Dollars a year but the unexpected dividends make it all worth it! One potential client contacted me regarding her family history "brick wall" and we started brainstorming ideas. (She was trying to figure out how to discover her great-grandfather's original name when the only name she has ever known was his Americanized name. He had been dead for several years so she was stuck with this "brick wall" for a LONG TIME.) I'm somewhat familiar with foreign names as my ancestry is from both Europe and Africa.
After brainstorming back and forth for about a week, we discovered THE CLUE and the long-standing "brick wall" came CRASHING DOWN!!!! MYSTERY SOLVED and we are doing the HAPPY DANCE!!!!!! :D
That's really lovely, Bones. What a wonderful gift you have. It's interesting that you get so much joy from giving people their families. It says a lot about the depth of your heart and soul. Bless you xx
Thanks, (((((((((((((((((((Tupp))))))))))))))))))))))))
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/go-for-quality-over-quantity-grandma.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131102
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It's funny how the answers are very different to similar problems in those ones. I feel sorry for the Grandma in the first letter - it doesn't take much of an effort to invite someone along to some things and teenagers should make an effort to see their grandparents if there isn't a family issue muddying the waters - everyone will be elderly eventually and I'm sure they wouldn't like if if no-one bothered with them. Yet the response to that one is for her to make more effort. She could have been lying there dead for three weeks but no-one's checked on her? That's awful. I know there might be reasons that aren't mentioned there but assuming there isn't a big deal going on that sounds really uncaring.
The second post mentions a friend whose friends don't include her (similar theme) and the advice there is much more robust, I think - they're not friends, find some new ones. I feel sorry for both of those posters :(
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It's funny how the answers are very different to similar problems in those ones. I feel sorry for the Grandma in the first letter - it doesn't take much of an effort to invite someone along to some things and teenagers should make an effort to see their grandparents if there isn't a family issue muddying the waters - everyone will be elderly eventually and I'm sure they wouldn't like if if no-one bothered with them. Yet the response to that one is for her to make more effort. She could have been lying there dead for three weeks but no-one's checked on her? That's awful. I know there might be reasons that aren't mentioned there but assuming there isn't a big deal going on that sounds really uncaring.
The second post mentions a friend whose friends don't include her (similar theme) and the advice there is much more robust, I think - they're not friends, find some new ones. I feel sorry for both of those posters :(
Hi, Tupp.
I guess I've gotten cynical in my old age as I was reading the first letter. I tended to wonder what was NOT mentioned in the letter that could have given a more accurate picture of WHY she was not being invited as much as she wanted. I've known some people in 3-D life who have attempted to manipulate others to the point where their own children and grandchildren didn't want to deal with them anymore.
As for the second letter, the person needs to find new friends as the people she is describing are clearly NOT friends! Acquaintances, maybe, but definitely NOT friends! Another factor that had me wondering, cynically, when the letter writer commented how she was being left behind....I've seen in 3-D life that one person having the bad habit of being chronically late....not just five minutes late but HOURS late. This individual, that I knew, was warned that if she wasn't ready to leave when everyone else was ready to leave, then she would be LEFT BEHIND! She hated the fact that people stopped catering to her.
Again, that may be just the cynic in me after being burned by 3-D people.
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131103
This soon-to-be-grandmother needs to recognize BOUNDARIES!!!!!!
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/protesting-the-prenup.html
I'd say SHE doeth protest TOO MUCH!!!! :P
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Feeling VERY aggravated right now with someone who REFUSES to accept NO for an answer!!!! WHAT PART OF THE WORD "NO" DOES THIS PERSON NOT UNDERSTAND????!!???!!?!?
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It's funny how the answers are very different to similar problems in those ones. I feel sorry for the Grandma in the first letter - it doesn't take much of an effort to invite someone along to some things and teenagers should make an effort to see their grandparents if there isn't a family issue muddying the waters - everyone will be elderly eventually and I'm sure they wouldn't like if if no-one bothered with them. Yet the response to that one is for her to make more effort. She could have been lying there dead for three weeks but no-one's checked on her? That's awful. I know there might be reasons that aren't mentioned there but assuming there isn't a big deal going on that sounds really uncaring.
The second post mentions a friend whose friends don't include her (similar theme) and the advice there is much more robust, I think - they're not friends, find some new ones. I feel sorry for both of those posters :(
Hi, Tupp.
I guess I've gotten cynical in my old age as I was reading the first letter. I tended to wonder what was NOT mentioned in the letter that could have given a more accurate picture of WHY she was not being invited as much as she wanted. I've known some people in 3-D life who have attempted to manipulate others to the point where their own children and grandchildren didn't want to deal with them anymore.
As for the second letter, the person needs to find new friends as the people she is describing are clearly NOT friends! Acquaintances, maybe, but definitely NOT friends! Another factor that had me wondering, cynically, when the letter writer commented how she was being left behind....I've seen in 3-D life that one person having the bad habit of being chronically late....not just five minutes late but HOURS late. This individual, that I knew, was warned that if she wasn't ready to leave when everyone else was ready to leave, then she would be LEFT BEHIND! She hated the fact that people stopped catering to her.
Again, that may be just the cynic in me after being burned by 3-D people.
No I completely see where you're coming from Bonesie, other perspectives are always possible in every situation.
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It's funny how the answers are very different to similar problems in those ones. I feel sorry for the Grandma in the first letter - it doesn't take much of an effort to invite someone along to some things and teenagers should make an effort to see their grandparents if there isn't a family issue muddying the waters - everyone will be elderly eventually and I'm sure they wouldn't like if if no-one bothered with them. Yet the response to that one is for her to make more effort. She could have been lying there dead for three weeks but no-one's checked on her? That's awful. I know there might be reasons that aren't mentioned there but assuming there isn't a big deal going on that sounds really uncaring.
The second post mentions a friend whose friends don't include her (similar theme) and the advice there is much more robust, I think - they're not friends, find some new ones. I feel sorry for both of those posters :(
Hi, Tupp.
I guess I've gotten cynical in my old age as I was reading the first letter. I tended to wonder what was NOT mentioned in the letter that could have given a more accurate picture of WHY she was not being invited as much as she wanted. I've known some people in 3-D life who have attempted to manipulate others to the point where their own children and grandchildren didn't want to deal with them anymore.
As for the second letter, the person needs to find new friends as the people she is describing are clearly NOT friends! Acquaintances, maybe, but definitely NOT friends! Another factor that had me wondering, cynically, when the letter writer commented how she was being left behind....I've seen in 3-D life that one person having the bad habit of being chronically late....not just five minutes late but HOURS late. This individual, that I knew, was warned that if she wasn't ready to leave when everyone else was ready to leave, then she would be LEFT BEHIND! She hated the fact that people stopped catering to her.
Again, that may be just the cynic in me after being burned by 3-D people.
No I completely see where you're coming from Bonesie, other perspectives are always possible in every situation.
Thanks, Tupp.
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Feeling VERY aggravated right now with someone who REFUSES to accept NO for an answer!!!! WHAT PART OF THE WORD "NO" DOES THIS PERSON NOT UNDERSTAND????!!???!!?!?
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((Bonesie)))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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Feeling VERY aggravated right now with someone who REFUSES to accept NO for an answer!!!! WHAT PART OF THE WORD "NO" DOES THIS PERSON NOT UNDERSTAND????!!???!!?!?
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((Bonesie)))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Thanks, ((((((((((((((((((((((Tupp)))))))))))))))))))))))))
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131104
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/world-s-worst-sister.html
With rellies like these, who needs enemies? EW!
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/world-s-worst-sister.html
With rellies like these, who needs enemies? EW!
Wow. That sister is a piece of work.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/world-s-worst-sister.html
With rellies like these, who needs enemies? EW!
Wow. That sister is a piece of work.
EXACTLY!!!! That sister is NO sister! She's NOTHING but a B*TCH in the WORST sense of the word!!!!!
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/wishing-a-drinker-would-stop-drinking.html
I can NEVER understand people who walk into public places, such as libraries and doctors' offices, look right at a sign that CLEARLY states: "NO CELL PHONES" and proceed to whip out their cell phones anyway, disturbing others!!!! Then THESE MORONS get pissy when the person in authority tells them to knock it off!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131105
Regarding the second letter, I would have told the Tantrum Thrower......"my house, my rules!"
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/11/dear_prudence_i_stopped_a_guitar_from_being_buried_with_a_family_member.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/11/dear_prudence_should_i_be_worried_my_6_year_old_is_wetting_himself.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131106
Shaking my head........
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/married-to-a-beautiful-cold-shoulder.html
Regarding the letter from the hair stylist, I can empathize. I can NEVER figure out WHY people insist on spreading their contagious illnesses wherever they go or insist on sending their sick kids out KNOWING they are sick AND contagious! Reminds me of when I was still working at a residential school for the Deaf. One child was battling leukemia so her immune system was NOT at its best. Around that time, one of the teachers learned she was newly pregnant. Then another one of the students, (a commuter from the metro area), walked in the front door CLEARLY COVERED IN MEASLES!!!!! She got marched straight to the Infirmary and her parents were called to come pick her up! The kid's mother REFUSED because it was "too inconvenient to keep her home"! :shock: A security officer drove the kid back to her house and the mother was informed that her kid was home, like it or not! Same dingbat attempted to send the kid BACK to school because SHE didn't want to be bothered with nursing a sick kid and insisted that WE should! The school nurse told this dingbat that another child was battling leukemia and did NOT need to be exposed to measles plus other adults do NOT want to be exposed to measles either! The dingbat's response? Not her problem! I think CPS finally had to get involved before she GRUDGINGLY let her sick kid stay home to recuperate. That mess still has me shaking my head!
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Wow.
Just, wow.
That mother had zero sense of being one of many, in community.
Little kid with leukemia and "not my problem"? Yikes.
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Wow.
Just, wow.
That mother had zero sense of being one of many, in community.
Little kid with leukemia and "not my problem"? Yikes.
Thanks, Hops.
I didn't realize it then, but I realize now.....that dingbat was an N.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/a-mother-s-concern-feels-like-control.html
Shaking my head......
The first letter......the mother needs to understand that her son is GROWN and has his OWN WIFE AND KIDS to look after instead of reporting to "mommy". I'm sure he's told her that on more than one occasion and she simply REFUSES to hear it! No wonder he's ticked off at her. (I've known 3-D situations where this has happened so I don't blame the son at all!)
The second letter regarding the Emergency Room.....it is called an EMERGENCY Room at the HOSPITAL for a REASON! People are brought in by ambulance, FREQUENTLY, as a result of car accidents, heart attacks, strokes, asthma attacks, criminal attacks, and other potentially life threatening conditions. I've been referred to the ER, by a doctor, on more than one occasion when I was having a combination of asthma and bronchitis. For people to phone the ER employees and DEMAND TO KNOW how long THEY must WAIT...... :roll:, then cuss out the employees because THEY did NOT get the answer THEY DEMANDED.......GEEZ!!!!!! I can understand if they don't have health insurance yet. That is about to change. In the meantime, expect to wait in line. At the same time, if they're calling about a sprained ankle and the ER staff are in the middle of dealing with a sick infant who is at death's door....I have a message for that caller....you have NO right to get huffy because they are paying more attention to the sick baby than little old Y-O-U! If I were the ER employee, I would ask the caller if they have health insurance. If the answer is, "Yes", refer them to the insurance's toll-free number as that is what the toll-free number is for. I have mine posted on my refrigerator for just that purpose. If the caller states that their health insurance provider told them to go to the Emergency Room....well, guess what? Get in line as life threatening emergencies have a higher priority!
I think I'll get off my soap box now.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131107
Need to think about these before saying anything.
Edit in: Regarding the female veteran, I wonder if she IS wearing indications of being in the military and is being ignored anyway? Look at how voiceless some women are being forced to be until someone starts taking a stand.
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/11/dear_prudence_my_husband_tried_to_record_my_friend_undressing.html
The husband in this mess has GOT TO BE DAFT!!!!!!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131108
What is WRONG with people who simply WILL NOT accept the fact that some people DO HAVE LIFE-THREATENING ALLERGIES?!?!?!
I just don't get it!!!!!
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/a-thick-skin-will-cure-what-ails-her.html
As usual, the advice columnists have their heads stuck deep up their own A$$E$!!!!! GEEZ!!!! :roll:
The sibling she writes about has a HISTORY OF PHYSICAL VIOLENCE and their advice is: "Get a thicker skin"? WTF?!?!?!?
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http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/when-the-sister-s-beau-is-boring-2013-11-08.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/broken-trust-broken-marriage.html
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www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131109
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Just got home from a basic search and rescue training class a little while ago.
During the class, I came to learn that a certain individual, who had been causing headaches in other organizations, managed to give this instructor a BIG headache and screwed with a police investigation on top of it all!!!! And for what? Just to get everyone to focus their attention on the IDIOT!!!! This same idiot pulled a stupid stunt back in June that could have caused all of us to get thrown out of our training. The MORON deserves to get BITCH-SLAPPED!!! Fortunately, the idiot has been banned from participating with us from now on.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131110
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/the-neverending-grudge.html
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Had the opportunity to go to a park today as part of my ongoing training. While there, I saw both a doe and a buck. Usually, deer run away at the sight of any humans. This buck stood there and stared back at us with ATTITUDE!!!!! He was STILL GORGEOUS!!!!!
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/honoring-veterans.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131111
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/11/dear_prudie_i_was_a_father_figure_to_my_mistress_son.html
What is this dude thinking?
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131112
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/abusive-mess-of-a-marriage.html
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http://www.addictinginfo.org/2013/11/11/white-supremacist-is-told-his-dna/
Instant Karma................................
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/11/dear_prudence_my_husband_is_having_erectile_problems_and_i_m_not_being_supportive.html
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http://www.addictinginfo.org/2013/11/11/white-supremacist-is-told-his-dna/
Instant Karma................................
I watched a programme about DNA and very clever boffin type scientists have proved that every single person on the planet is of African descent. White people have lost their colouring over many many years living further and further away from the equator. I can't remember the science details (all a bit over my head) but they have proved that essentially we all come from one original source which was in Africa. Racism is, of course, stupid enough even without that but honestly, what an idiot that man is.
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http://www.addictinginfo.org/2013/11/11/white-supremacist-is-told-his-dna/
Instant Karma................................
I watched a programme about DNA and very clever boffin type scientists have proved that every single person on the planet is of African descent. White people have lost their colouring over many many years living further and further away from the equator. I can't remember the science details (all a bit over my head) but they have proved that essentially we all come from one original source which was in Africa. Racism is, of course, stupid enough even without that but honestly, what an idiot that man is.
Yep! Bigots are usually idiots.
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oh, the irony.......................wow.
Rational thinking might save us (but perhaps not him, or his victims).
thanks, Bones...
Hops
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oh, the irony.......................wow.
Rational thinking might save us (but perhaps not him, or his victims).
thanks, Bones...
Hops
You're welcome, Hops.
Usually idiots, like that bigot, compete for the Darwin Award.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/wifely-duties-versus-rocks-my-world.html
Today's column may have triggers for survivors of child sexual abuse.
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/11/dear_prudence_my_husband_retired_young_and_goofs_off_all_day.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/they-were-on-a-break-2013-11-14.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131114
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131115
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/married-to-a-hoarder.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/set-house-rules-for-kids-whose-parents-won-t.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131116
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131117
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/what-s-best-for-the-boy.html
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Struggling with a combination of depression and anxiety today and can't find words. Feel like hiding.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/alcoholics-and-their-enablers.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131118
This may have some triggers.......
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/11/dear_prudence_my_husband_won_t_let_our_young_son_put_on_my_shoes.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131119
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/her-unchecked-bipolarity-is-abusive.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/11/dear_prudence_our_son_s_best_friend_is_forbidden_by_his_religious_parents.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/wrestling-with-family-obligations.html
Regarding the last letter about Service Dogs/Animals.....I agree......WHOLEHEARTEDLY!!!!!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131120
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131121
Today's column might have triggers for survivors of abuse.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/memory-loss-is-common-but-can-be-serious.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/11/dear_prudence_my_husband_played_pen_pal_with_prisoners_for_years.html
Regarding that first letter......OH @#$%!!!!!!!! :shock:
The last letter might have triggers for survivors.
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Yikers.
Husband must be lonely or need to feel important, and in a way, it was unfair to the released prisoners, who need someone who CAN follow through. They've got plenty on their plates already (as does this wife).
Whew.
Hops
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Yikers.
Husband must be lonely or need to feel important, and in a way, it was unfair to the released prisoners, who need someone who CAN follow through. They've got plenty on their plates already (as does this wife).
Whew.
Hops
Yeah. I would NOT blame the wife if she packed up herself and her kids and got out of there! The husband is an absolute IDIOT!
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/the-friendship-s-doomed-but-the-dog-doesn-t-have-to-be.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131122
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Having PTSD flashbacks about what took place 50 years ago on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. On Friday, President Kennedy was assassinated. On Saturday, my brother was shot, (he survived). On Sunday, I watched Lee Harvey Oswald get murdered on live television. I was only eleven years old but I got punished by NWomb-Donor because I got upset and cried. I realize now, how much her priorities were SCREWED!!!!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131123
Today's letter might have triggers for anyone with a history of self-mutilation and struggling with depression.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/dead-at-7.html
How can older drivers be in DENIAL when their vision and reflexes have changed with age? I know my vision has changed, which is WHY I've cut WAY BACK on my own driving and have been trying to arrange for alternate transportation whenever and wherever possible. I know the day will come when I will have to relinquish my keys and THAT is a REALITY.
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Having PTSD flashbacks about what took place 50 years ago on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. On Friday, President Kennedy was assassinated. On Saturday, my brother was shot, (he survived). On Sunday, I watched Lee Harvey Oswald get murdered on live television. I was only eleven years old but I got punished by NWomb-Donor because I got upset and cried. I realize now, how much her priorities were SCREWED!!!!
Oh Bones, what a lot to be having to relive. I hope this passes for you and you can come through the other side, it's horrible when those memories demand your attention and make you go through those moments again. ((((((((((((((((((((((((Bones))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/dead-at-7.html
How can older drivers be in DENIAL when their vision and reflexes have changed with age? I know my vision has changed, which is WHY I've cut WAY BACK on my own driving and have been trying to arrange for alternate transportation whenever and wherever possible. I know the day will come when I will have to relinquish my keys and THAT is a REALITY.
Yep, I find driving at night a problem now (and in the UK it's dark at 4 in the winter so it's night for quite a lot of the time). The next place we move to will be a big town with good bus links so that I don't have to do it anymore!
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Having PTSD flashbacks about what took place 50 years ago on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. On Friday, President Kennedy was assassinated. On Saturday, my brother was shot, (he survived). On Sunday, I watched Lee Harvey Oswald get murdered on live television. I was only eleven years old but I got punished by NWomb-Donor because I got upset and cried. I realize now, how much her priorities were SCREWED!!!!
Oh Bones, what a lot to be having to relive. I hope this passes for you and you can come through the other side, it's horrible when those memories demand your attention and make you go through those moments again. ((((((((((((((((((((((((Bones))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Thanks, ((((((((((((((((((((Tupp))))))))))))
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/dead-at-7.html
How can older drivers be in DENIAL when their vision and reflexes have changed with age? I know my vision has changed, which is WHY I've cut WAY BACK on my own driving and have been trying to arrange for alternate transportation whenever and wherever possible. I know the day will come when I will have to relinquish my keys and THAT is a REALITY.
Yep, I find driving at night a problem now (and in the UK it's dark at 4 in the winter so it's night for quite a lot of the time). The next place we move to will be a big town with good bus links so that I don't have to do it anymore!
I hear ya, Tupp!
-
Tupp,
May I ask a silly question?
Being on this side of the Great Pond, I'm not too familiar with the various holiday foods in England. I've seen Plum Pudding which looks like cake to me. In England, what is the difference between English Puddings and cakes?
Thanks for indulging me in this.
-
Tupp,
May I ask a silly question?
Being on this side of the Great Pond, I'm not too familiar with the various holiday foods in England. I've seen Plum Pudding which looks like cake to me. In England, what is the difference between English Puddings and cakes?
Thanks for indulging me in this.
Ooh Bonesie that's a good question! I'm not an expert but I think it's that a pudding is steamed whilst a cake is baked in the oven. I think steamed puddings tend to be a bit heavier and more dense than oven baked cakes, although I have heard that people are making plum pudding cake now which is the ingredients of plum pudding but it's baked rather than steamed, if that makes sense! All taste equally delicious if you ask me :)
-
Tupp,
May I ask a silly question?
Being on this side of the Great Pond, I'm not too familiar with the various holiday foods in England. I've seen Plum Pudding which looks like cake to me. In England, what is the difference between English Puddings and cakes?
Thanks for indulging me in this.
Ooh Bonesie that's a good question! I'm not an expert but I think it's that a pudding is steamed whilst a cake is baked in the oven. I think steamed puddings tend to be a bit heavier and more dense than oven baked cakes, although I have heard that people are making plum pudding cake now which is the ingredients of plum pudding but it's baked rather than steamed, if that makes sense! All taste equally delicious if you ask me :)
I think I see what you mean. American Pudding is somewhat liquid, which is why I tend to get confused with the words. Steamed cake could be a more accurate description of what Plum Pudding is.
-
Tupp,
May I ask a silly question?
Being on this side of the Great Pond, I'm not too familiar with the various holiday foods in England. I've seen Plum Pudding which looks like cake to me. In England, what is the difference between English Puddings and cakes?
Thanks for indulging me in this.
Ooh Bonesie that's a good question! I'm not an expert but I think it's that a pudding is steamed whilst a cake is baked in the oven. I think steamed puddings tend to be a bit heavier and more dense than oven baked cakes, although I have heard that people are making plum pudding cake now which is the ingredients of plum pudding but it's baked rather than steamed, if that makes sense! All taste equally delicious if you ask me :)
I think I see what you mean. American Pudding is somewhat liquid, which is why I tend to get confused with the words. Steamed cake could be a more accurate description of what Plum Pudding is.
Yes I think that probably sums it up pretty well! It's making me feel hungry :)
-
Tupp,
May I ask a silly question?
Being on this side of the Great Pond, I'm not too familiar with the various holiday foods in England. I've seen Plum Pudding which looks like cake to me. In England, what is the difference between English Puddings and cakes?
Thanks for indulging me in this.
Ooh Bonesie that's a good question! I'm not an expert but I think it's that a pudding is steamed whilst a cake is baked in the oven. I think steamed puddings tend to be a bit heavier and more dense than oven baked cakes, although I have heard that people are making plum pudding cake now which is the ingredients of plum pudding but it's baked rather than steamed, if that makes sense! All taste equally delicious if you ask me :)
I think I see what you mean. American Pudding is somewhat liquid, which is why I tend to get confused with the words. Steamed cake could be a more accurate description of what Plum Pudding is.
Yes I think that probably sums it up pretty well! It's making me feel hungry :)
LOL!! :lol:
-
Been trying to get through this weekend one day at a time.
-
Been also trying to figure out WHO is responsible for updating the local Emergency Operations Plan that has NOT been changed in over a decade and contains enough HUGE gaps to drive a Starship through! Dealing with local politicians is a HEADACHE!!!
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/11/dear_prudie_my_wife_missionary_dated_me_hiding_her_religion_until_marriage.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/first-time-heartbreaker.html
This poor kid is dealing with a stalker!
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/11/dear_prudence_my_ex_wife_is_finally_coming_to_see_our_daughter_this_christmas.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/gossip-in-supervisors-clothing.html
This could contain triggers for those who survived bullying bosses.
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131128
YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/11/dear_prudence_my_15_year_old_lost_her_virginity_that_s_too_young.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131129
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/their-friendship-survived-a-burglary-but-maybe-not-the-story.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/you-are-cordially-invited-to-stay-at-home.html
I don't agree with Margo regarding the first letter. There's got to be a better way of dealing with a relative like this.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/me-tarzan-you-jane.html
I know someone who behaves in a similar manner. Needless to say, the relationship failed as I got tired of talking to a blank wall and getting no communication in return.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/three-dogs-between-you-is-not-the-path-to-nuptials.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131130
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131201
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/every-marriage-has-its-thorn.html
The first letter confirms my suspicions that the advice columnists crop out a LOT of information that would give the advice a completely different spin!
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/sticky-ex.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131202
-
I'm in a really black mood now. The hellidays have begun.
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/12/dear_prudence_my_wife_s_brothers_play_too_rough_with_her.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/lifelong-sibling-jealousy.html
Dysfunction with a CAPITAL "D"!!
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/12/dear_prudence_i_plan_on_going_back_to_finish_college_but_should_i_just_keep.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131204
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/cut-off-from-the-grandkids.html
Maybe I'm cynical. I get suspicious of letters where the LW describes someone else as "evil" while describing themselves as "so pure" and can't understand why they are not allowed access to the grandchildren. I sense there is more to this situation and the LW is NOT being totally honest about her part in it. Just like a BTL commentator posted, I see a GIANT RED FLAG in the letter that tells me alot!
-
I'm in a really black mood now. The hellidays have begun.
I hope this lifts for you Bonesie (((((((((((((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))))))))))))))))
-
I'm in a really black mood now. The hellidays have begun.
I hope this lifts for you Bonesie (((((((((((((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Thanks, (((((((((((((((((((((((((((Tupp)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/dissing-aunt-marsha.html
The columnists are CLUELESS, as usual.
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131205
For anyone to treat twins like THIS......UGH!!!!! :P
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/12/dear_prudence_my_polyamorous_daughter_wants_to_bring_two_dates_to_dinner.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131206
This sounds familiar.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/age-energy-and-employment-differences.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/when-you-feel-like-a-heifer-at-an-auction-f542f07eb0.html
-
I am SO FRUSTRATED right now!
A small group of us have been trying to plan a Community Holiday Party and we have been encountering one obstacle after another from those, on the Board, who have never really participated in ANYTHING. One of them used to be a committee chair and the last time we had a social event, he pissed, bitched, and moaned about how he did NOT want to be involved with the committee anymore. Fine...so be it. The committee has started to plan without him and NOW he's pissing, bitching, and moaning because we have NOT included HIM! What does he want?!?!? I'm tired of the passive-aggressive CRAP!
-
Just got off the phone after being called by one of my cousins who is also an N. Just let him blather on about his favorite subject...himself. His second wife just divorced him and he can't understand why she left him. I didn't say much because he doesn't listen to anyone else except himself.
I did raise my voice when he started violating my boundaries and told him that if he continued, I was hanging up. Then he retreated back to his favorite subject....himself....until he talked himself out and hung up. Apparently the only way to get his attention is to shout at him. I've got better things to do with my time than that! :P
-
Just got off the phone after being called by one of my cousins who is also an N. Just let him blather on about his favorite subject...himself. His second wife just divorced him and he can't understand why she left him. I didn't say much because he doesn't listen to anyone else except himself.
I did raise my voice when he started violating my boundaries and told him that if he continued, I was hanging up. Then he retreated back to his favorite subject....himself....until he talked himself out and hung up. Apparently the only way to get his attention is to shout at him. I've got better things to do with my time than that! :P
Turns out he's also Googled my address. LAST thing I want or need is to have him turn up on my doorstep UNINVITED and UNANNOUNCED because, in his delusional little world, HE IS PERFECT and I should be forced to bask in the glow of HIS PERFECTION! UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/find-family-beyond-the-family-tree.html
This sounds familiar too!
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131207
-
Hope the weekend gets better for you Bonesie (((((((((((((((((((((Bones))))))))))))))))))))))))
-
Hope the weekend gets better for you Bonesie (((((((((((((((((((((Bones))))))))))))))))))))))))
Thanks, (((((((((((((((((Tupp))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Yesterday was really plucking my last nerve! Having this N regurgitating Faux Noise at me and talking down to me just PISSED ME OFF BIG TIME!!!! :P
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131208
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/dont-shy-away-from-good-fortune.html
The columnists are still clueless.
-
Still struggling with the aftermath of yesterday with sensory overload. I thought I had sufficiently prepared myself, mentally, with being around people for a holiday dinner party in a restaurant. Unfortunately, my efforts weren't enough. The party room was still open to the rest of the restaurant with ALL the ambient noise. Add to the noise, more than one person in our group were wearing necklaces that were FLASHING LIGHTS! Add to that, a HUGE mirror on the wall that was REFLECTING THOSE FLASHING LIGHTS and my nervous system couldn't handle all this sensory input! I had to keep fighting the urge to run and hide in a dark quiet place somewhere! Knowing that the group of people I was with were only acquaintances, NOT friends, made the situation even more difficult.
If there had been another Aspie in the group, it might have made the situation a little easier as I wouldn't have felt alone and isolated. Those on the Autism Spectrum would understand what I was struggling to deal with.
-
Still struggling with the aftermath of yesterday with sensory overload. I thought I had sufficiently prepared myself, mentally, with being around people for a holiday dinner party in a restaurant. Unfortunately, my efforts weren't enough. The party room was still open to the rest of the restaurant with ALL the ambient noise. Add to the noise, more than one person in our group were wearing necklaces that were FLASHING LIGHTS! Add to that, a HUGE mirror on the wall that was REFLECTING THOSE FLASHING LIGHTS and my nervous system couldn't handle all this sensory input! I had to keep fighting the urge to run and hide in a dark quiet place somewhere! Knowing that the group of people I was with were only acquaintances, NOT friends, made the situation even more difficult.
If there had been another Aspie in the group, it might have made the situation a little easier as I wouldn't have felt alone and isolated. Those on the Autism Spectrum would understand what I was struggling to deal with.
I can really sympathise, Bones, my son finds this time of year really difficult to deal with. It's such a big festival that it's impossible to get away from it really, there are decorations up everywhere, music, lots more people around and people want to get together more, it's such a lot to cope with. I hope things start to level out for you soon xx
-
Oh Bones. I'm sorry it was like that.
Even not being Aspie i have some gene that knows a little...
for me, more than lights, it's the ever-present jangly music
that drives me nuts.
in restaurants, I just can't stand it that to talk with someone
you have to compete with loud background music--makes me
so edgy. I always ask them to turn it down. They look at me
like...whyyyyy?
Oy.
love to you and hope you have more outings that are in
sensory-friendly places--
Hops
-
Oh Bones. I'm sorry it was like that.
Even not being Aspie i have some gene that knows a little...
for me, more than lights, it's the ever-present jangly music
that drives me nuts.
in restaurants, I just can't stand it that to talk with someone
you have to compete with loud background music--makes me
so edgy. I always ask them to turn it down. They look at me
like...whyyyyy?
Oy.
love to you and hope you have more outings that are in
sensory-friendly places--
Hops
Thanks, Tupp.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/molestation-suppressed.html
Today's article has triggers and the columnists are clueless, as usual!
-
Dear Bones,
Re: Is it always N behavior to violate others boundaries?
First your traveling companion exhibited over the top N behavior.
I think we all violate the boundaries of others from time to time, but not maliciously. The difference is that N's won't hear you when you explain that they have overstepped a boundary. They will do the same thing over and over again even though you have been clear that their behavior is not acceptable. They will lie, deny, manipulate, set you up for more, - well you know the gig, right?
On the other hand, a regular person will hear you when you explain that they have overstepped a boundary, they know that no means no, they will apologize and mean it, correct their behavior, feel remorse, talk it through, pursue mutuality, work with you to clear the air, and so on. Once the two have talked through the incident, both will feel like they have moved forward. From there, the normal flow of interaction and communication can take it's healthiest course.
Congratulations on the Masters!
tt
Was re-reading this and realized something. (Thanks, TT!)
Now I understand WHY I want NOTHING to do with Cousin Jackass! The few times he dials my number, he plucks my LAST nerve with his N-Crap, including regurgitating the same poisonous lies that NWomb-Donor smeared around! UGH!!! :P He also wants to keep whining about how he can't understand WHY Ex-Wife #1 and Ex-Wife #2 BOTH KICKED HIM TO THE CURB! The fact that he REFUSES TO LISTEN just does NOT enter into the equation!
I wish he would LOSE my number, get lost, and STAY LOST!!!!! :x
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/12/dear_prudence_i_want_to_wait_on_sex_with_the_woman_i_m_dating_even_though.html
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/12/dear_prudence_my_family_is_using_nicknames_my_nephew_made_up_and_it_s_awful.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131210
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/decoding-jealousy.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/enduring-the-messy-divorce.html
This might contain triggers for Survivors of Narcissists.
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131211
-
I've been hearing news about a fake Sign Language interpreter that showed up at Nelson Mandela's memorial service yesterday. Looks like a Narcissist struck again! :P
-
Feeling voiceless and FRUSTRATED! I have been repeating the same explanation, multiple times, about what the condo association REQUIRES and the neighbor I am repeating it to simply WILL NOT HEAR ME! :P
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131212
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/newlyweds-on-the-brink.html
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/12/dear_prudence_my_husband_left_us_but_comes_back_at_christmas_to_ruin_it.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/disparage-a-childs-intended-at-your-own-risk.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/when-its-never-enough.html
Sounds familiar.....
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131213
-
Tried to get on Facebook to check some things and all I'm getting is a white screen! The server is working but NOTHING else! NUTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :P
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131214
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/six-degress-of-the-sexless-marriage.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/untangling-estrangements-requires-forgiveness.html
This contains a LOT of triggers!
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131215
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131216
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/confounding-confirmation.html
Looks like the columnists are having technical difficulties with portions of letters disappearing!
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/12/dear_prudence_i_m_pregnant_with_the_child_of_a_wealthy_married_man_who_just.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/is-porn-cheating.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131217
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/12/dear_prudence_my_ex_husband_s_new_wife_holds_my_hand_and_kisses_hello.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131218
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/nothing-funny-about-a-punch-to-the-face.html
Frightening!
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/transsexual-women-are-women.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131219
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/12/dear_prudence_my_boss_cheats_on_his_wife_i_want_to_tell_her_this_christmas.html
-
You ever write into one of these Dear Prudence or Dear Abby?
If I wrote in I don't think they would respond to me and I think all they would say is "go see a shrink or take meds".
She shouldn't tell the wife because she needs to keep her job and in my really miserable mind all relationships are "open" and people cheat on each other it's like a known unstated fact about the reality of romance.
-
You ever write into one of these Dear Prudence or Dear Abby?
If I wrote in I don't think they would respond to me and I think all they would say is "go see a shrink or take meds".
She shouldn't tell the wife because she needs to keep her job and in my really miserable mind all relationships are "open" and people cheat on each other it's like a known unstated fact about the reality of romance.
Once, a long, long time ago, I wrote to Dear Abby regarding dealing with being a caretaker of an aging parent and she responded because it wasn't long after her mother had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Her response wasn't bad at all.
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131220
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/kicking-snuff.html
Today's column could contain triggers for Survivors.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/when-the-bf-is-a-switch-hitter-e5163336cc.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/how-to-stop-an-offensive-co-worker.html
This sounds PAINFULLY familiar!
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/not-moving-in-doesnt-mean-breaking-up.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131221
-
She shouldn't tell the wife because she needs to keep her job and in my really miserable mind all relationships are "open" and people cheat on each other it's like a known unstated fact about the reality of romance.
I won't comment on the wisdom or morality of helping a boss cheat on his wife, regardless of how much we may think she may need her job. If I did comment on it I might suggest she needs a little self respect too, perhaps even more than she needs the job. I also might suggest Prudence go take a walk til her hat floats.
I will say the second half of your comment, GB, is incorrect and doesn't recognize the many men and woman who would quite literally die before they betrayed their spouses. Your mind isn't miserable; I'm guessing rather that you have been betrayed by one or more of those who have no trouble betraying people they supposedly love.
mud
-
She shouldn't tell the wife because she needs to keep her job and in my really miserable mind all relationships are "open" and people cheat on each other it's like a known unstated fact about the reality of romance.
I won't comment on the wisdom or morality of helping a boss cheat on his wife, regardless of how much we may think she may need her job. If I did comment on it I might suggest she needs a little self respect too, perhaps even more than she needs the job. I also might suggest Prudence go take a walk til her hat floats.
I will say the second half of your comment, GB, is incorrect and doesn't recognize the many men and woman who would quite literally die before they betrayed their spouses. Your mind isn't miserable; I'm guessing rather that you have been betrayed by one or more of those who have no trouble betraying people they supposedly love.
mud
I was just trying to post something related to Bones posts is all.
Don't be an asshole about it. I DON'T NEED FOR YOU TO EVALUATE IF MY OPINION IS VALID OR NOT.
I prefer if you don't "respond" to my posts at all mud I find your comments to sound like you are trying to instigate conflict. Bleh
-
Sticking nose in...
I think Mud's last sentence was compassionate, Boat...
maybe you tripped over a bit of pomposity in the tone earlier.
He doesn't mean that. It's like a "harrumph."
Mud is judgmental but when push comes to shove, he
chooses kind.
love
Hops
-
Sticking nose in...
I think Mud's last sentence was compassionate, Boat...
maybe you tripped over a bit of pomposity in the tone earlier.
He doesn't mean that. It's like a "harrumph."
Mud is judgmental but when push comes to shove, he
chooses kind.
love
Hops
Actually I really don't appreciate Mud's perspective Just like I stated clear and simple above. Not sure why you are involved Hops.
-
Bone's thread is now being hi-jacked apparently.
I've got to get ready for work, going to log off this is stupid Narcissistic bull shit.
-
.....mud I find your comments to sound like you are trying to instigate conflict.
You can express the insulting, and counter-factual opinion that all romantic relationships are "open" and involve cheating and if I point out your opinion is not accurate then I'm instigating, but you're not? The way to avoid "narcissistic bullshit" is to let something simply not true lie there unanswered?
I'm not even being "judgmental" as Hops put it; I'm just telling you that what you said isn't so. Not sure why my pointing out the fact there are many people who do not cheat should set you off, but that's your prerogative. Doesn't mean I'm going to shut up when told to do so though, especially on a Voicelessness board..
mud
-
I had NO idea that a flame war erupted while I was off-line and enjoying a free movie in the community. (The local theatre was showing "It's A Wonderful Life" with Jimmy Stewart and Donna Reed. Don't see many movies like that much anymore.)
Every person has a right to have their voice heard ESPECIALLY on the Voicelessness Board! I understand how this time of year can put people in a BAD mood. I'm struggling with that as I write. From my perspective, people can agree to disagree without name-calling and hurling insults. I grew up with that abusive crap and it was NEVER fun! It's one thing to express opinions using "I-messages". Once the message starts out with "You...", and/or name-calling starts, then the defensive walls go up and the flame war begins.
Discussing differences of opinions on my thread is no problem. Flame Wars, name-calling, and insults...or worse....will get you banned off of my thread. I'll borrow something I learned from writer David Gerrold....don't do something online that you wouldn't do, in person, in MY living room. Got it?!?
-
I'm sorry, Boat. You're right.
Not my place.
Thanks for the correction, Bones...deserved and heard.
xo
Hops
-
Didn't intend flaming, or even singeing for that matter, anyone and still don't see that I did.
I'll drop it at this point since there's nothing else to say, except;
If you like It's a Wonderful Life you'd probably like It Happened on 5th Avenue too. A not well known, little holiday gem.
mud
-
Thanks, Mud and Hops. What about you, Bean? Is this settled?
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131222
I don't agree with "Abby" in today's column.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/the-good-the-bad-the-wedding.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/new-year-new-debt.html
(Shaking my head)
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131223
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/12/dear_prudence_my_secret_crush_just_said_i_was_the_one_that_got_away_but.html
With friends like this........
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/12/dear_prudence_my_wife_lied_about_her_age_before_we_married.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/drunk-dancer-dumped-.html
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Just checking in.
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Just checking in.
Merry Christmas, Miss Bones! Virtual hug for you :) Thank you for your thread, I find that reading about other people's problems sometimes helps me with my own xx
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Just checking in.
Merry Christmas, Miss Bones! Virtual hug for you :) Thank you for your thread, I find that reading about other people's problems sometimes helps me with my own xx
Merry Christmas, (((((((Tupp)))))), and you're welcome. Glad to help out whenever I can.
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This must be the year for N's to come out of hiding and start bugging us again! :P
I heard a knock on my door a few moments ago. I called out, thinking it was one of my neighbors in my condo building, and I heard someone going up the stairs instead. When I opened my door, I found a stack of Christmas presents, in fancy wrap, on my doormat. When I opened up the card that came with these gifts, I was NOT happy!!! The gifts were from NDOOFUS!!!! How she got inside a secure building with a security system, I have NO idea!
Then she writes inside the card: "(Bones), Refuse the gifts because they're too little - or give them to (Mr. Blue). Thinking of you this Christmas - God Bless You!"
What IS it with this passive-aggressive stuff?!?!?! :P
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This must be the year for N's to come out of hiding and start bugging us again! :P
I heard a knock on my door a few moments ago. I called out, thinking it was one of my neighbors in my condo building, and I heard someone going up the stairs instead. When I opened my door, I found a stack of Christmas presents, in fancy wrap, on my doormat. When I opened up the card that came with these gifts, I was NOT happy!!! The gifts were from NDOOFUS!!!! How she got inside a secure building with a security system, I have NO idea!
Then she writes inside the card: "(Bones), Refuse the gifts because they're too little - or give them to (Mr. Blue). Thinking of you this Christmas - God Bless You!"
What IS it with this passive-aggressive stuff?!?!?! :P
Opened up the boxes and found stuff that seem to be re-gifted. Two of the items were cheaply made things that prominently said: "Made in China" and I have NO use for, plus a box of fruit that has already been turning brown and smells strong. I can't help but get the feeling that someone gave her that fruit at an office Christmas party, she didn't want it, so she re-gifted it to me. As for the stuff made in China, they look like stuff that she got for free when she received something via mail-order. Sometimes, these mail-order businesses enclose stuff as "free gifts" with the order. She didn't want the "free gifts" from the mail-order business so they got re-gifted...to me. I just can't envision her spending that kind of money on someone who has gone NC on her for nearly five years and she clearly doesn't have a CLUE about what is going on in the lives of anyone else outside of her orbit. NDoofus has NOT changed!
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This must be the year for N's to come out of hiding and start bugging us again! :P
I heard a knock on my door a few moments ago. I called out, thinking it was one of my neighbors in my condo building, and I heard someone going up the stairs instead. When I opened my door, I found a stack of Christmas presents, in fancy wrap, on my doormat. When I opened up the card that came with these gifts, I was NOT happy!!! The gifts were from NDOOFUS!!!! How she got inside a secure building with a security system, I have NO idea!
Then she writes inside the card: "(Bones), Refuse the gifts because they're too little - or give them to (Mr. Blue). Thinking of you this Christmas - God Bless You!"
What IS it with this passive-aggressive stuff?!?!?! :P
Opened up the boxes and found stuff that seem to be re-gifted. Two of the items were cheaply made things that prominently said: "Made in China" and I have NO use for, plus a box of fruit that has already been turning brown and smells strong. I can't help but get the feeling that someone gave her that fruit at an office Christmas party, she didn't want it, so she re-gifted it to me. As for the stuff made in China, they look like stuff that she got for free when she received something via mail-order. Sometimes, these mail-order businesses enclose stuff as "free gifts" with the order. She didn't want the "free gifts" from the mail-order business so they got re-gifted...to me. I just can't envision her spending that kind of money on someone who has gone NC on her for nearly five years and she clearly doesn't have a CLUE about what is going on in the lives of anyone else outside of her orbit. NDoofus has NOT changed!
One more thing...she also enclosed a gift of liquid hand soap. Reminded me of when she gave me dish washer soap for Christmas with the price still written on the box. What planet is she living on?
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Yah your Nar-person is mental. Wish they would just STOP. (my mother contacted me also and I would be more content if she didn't)
It feels like such a difficult and hard leap to just see them as insane. In my opinion my mind keeps on trying to make sense out of the nar behavior but it doesn't make sense.
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I wish the N's would GET LOST and STAY LOST!!! :P
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/grown-children-rejecting-parents.html
The first letter writer sounds like she is living on her own planet with her own reality. I'm not believing HER version. She sounds like an N to me.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131226
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FWIW, I know the exact heartbreak of the first LW.
Who knows. There's not enough info in her letter to make clear
what dysfunction was there that would cause three grown children
to cut them off. Perhaps they "deserve it." Perhaps they're just
human, clueless, dim or bumbling. And perhaps their kids
grew up with a strong sense of entitlement and a weak sense
of compassion. I know the old "honor thy" thing is passé in this
culture, or large parts of it.
Still, it's a kind of pain that is hard to assimilate.
In my case--one child. But my only one. And only family.
Hard not to feel like a Martian, a fraud, a failure, a dreadful person.
Sure did shatter my sense of myself. Which I'm having to rebuild
with a different view. I'm way less complacent about myself, and
always skeptical of my good feelings. I feel they're undeserved,
if my child I love so much has rejected me. Even though I know
she's quite ill, I still internalized a lot of her hatred in recent years.
Working on that, since on another level I know it's irrational.
With a lot of therapy, I've figured out that a LOT was my fault,
and a LOT was not (her father's and other deaths, her genes).
What remains to see is, will she eventually see the difference between
those two "lots" and secondly, forgive me for what was mine?
I do not know. So, I give up expecting. I do feel compassion for
that LW, though. I'm only 63, and I imagine it just is even sadder
for folks that age to be cut adrift from their kids.
Ice floe, etc.
Hops
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Hops,
I understand your situation. Your D has issues of her own that only she can work through.
As for the first letter writer, I tend to be cynical given that all three of her adult children have gone NC. When the GCB went NC a long time ago, I could only speculate his reasons. On the one hand, knowing what the NWomb-Donor did to both of us, I felt he was justified cutting her off as she sexually abused both of us. Now if he was miffed because he wasn't getting any inheritance after the nursing home took everything.....oh, well...... Who knows? It could be a combination of the two...him feeling entitled to an inheritance after the way she USED and ABUSED him for her own self-gratification.
With N's, like the NWomb-Donor I had to deal with, they blame others while refusing to take responsibility for their own actions. She really set me off, toward the end of her life, when she announced to me that "children deserved to be raped because they are naturally whores anyway." CUSSED her out that day, I did! Wouldn't surprise me if she announced the same crap to GCB to justify what she did to him! SICKO!!
Then, recently, when Cousin Jackass called me up...he couldn't understand how GCB could cut her off because, as far as Cousin Jackass is concerned, NWomb-Donor was the PERFECT GODDESS in his eyes! (Plus dragging the mention of the pedophile into the conversation just to get on my nerves, KNOWING how much I HATED my abusers!) EWWWWWWWWW!! :P I wish all N's would GET LOST and STAY LOST!!!!
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This must be the year for N's to come out of hiding and start bugging us again! :P
I heard a knock on my door a few moments ago. I called out, thinking it was one of my neighbors in my condo building, and I heard someone going up the stairs instead. When I opened my door, I found a stack of Christmas presents, in fancy wrap, on my doormat. When I opened up the card that came with these gifts, I was NOT happy!!! The gifts were from NDOOFUS!!!! How she got inside a secure building with a security system, I have NO idea!
Then she writes inside the card: "(Bones), Refuse the gifts because they're too little - or give them to (Mr. Blue). Thinking of you this Christmas - God Bless You!"
What IS it with this passive-aggressive stuff?!?!?! :P
Opened up the boxes and found stuff that seem to be re-gifted. Two of the items were cheaply made things that prominently said: "Made in China" and I have NO use for, plus a box of fruit that has already been turning brown and smells strong. I can't help but get the feeling that someone gave her that fruit at an office Christmas party, she didn't want it, so she re-gifted it to me. As for the stuff made in China, they look like stuff that she got for free when she received something via mail-order. Sometimes, these mail-order businesses enclose stuff as "free gifts" with the order. She didn't want the "free gifts" from the mail-order business so they got re-gifted...to me. I just can't envision her spending that kind of money on someone who has gone NC on her for nearly five years and she clearly doesn't have a CLUE about what is going on in the lives of anyone else outside of her orbit. NDoofus has NOT changed!
One more thing...she also enclosed a gift of liquid hand soap. Reminded me of when she gave me dish washer soap for Christmas with the price still written on the box. What planet is she living on?
I gave the liquid hand soap to the community bathroom so that others could use it. I quickly learned WHY this soap was "gifted" to me....the pumping mechanism does NOT work! Either someone gave it to her, she realized it was broken, and she "re-gifted" it, as she has a habit of doing or she bought it, realized the pumping mechanism was broken and instead of taking it back, DUMPED it on me! Typical N! :P
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/12/dear_prudence_my_boss_poops_in_the_office_shower.html
EEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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holy carp, LOL Bones wow, that was some really good comic relief
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holy carp, LOL Bones wow, that was some really good comic relief
I had NO idea how BIZARRE a boss could get! :shock:
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131227
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/eau-de-kitty-litter.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/you-say-tomato-he-says-tomahto-8b67b172f8.html
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Checking in.
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This must be the year for N's to come out of hiding and start bugging us again! :P
I heard a knock on my door a few moments ago. I called out, thinking it was one of my neighbors in my condo building, and I heard someone going up the stairs instead. When I opened my door, I found a stack of Christmas presents, in fancy wrap, on my doormat. When I opened up the card that came with these gifts, I was NOT happy!!! The gifts were from NDOOFUS!!!! How she got inside a secure building with a security system, I have NO idea!
Then she writes inside the card: "(Bones), Refuse the gifts because they're too little - or give them to (Mr. Blue). Thinking of you this Christmas - God Bless You!"
What IS it with this passive-aggressive stuff?!?!?! :P
I got rid of everything she dumped on my doorstep. Even Mr. Blue didn't want any of it because it was clearly CRAP! NDoofus may have wrapped it all up in the fanciest gift wrap possible but CRAP wrapped in fanciness is STILL CRAP!!!! She's probably expecting me to break my NC and call her to "thank" her for the "gifts". I'm still remaining NC and she can go SCREW herself!
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/when-harry-met-married.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131229
I'd tell these so-called "relatives" to EFF OFF!!! It's NONE of their business!!!!
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This must be the year for N's to come out of hiding and start bugging us again! :P
I heard a knock on my door a few moments ago. I called out, thinking it was one of my neighbors in my condo building, and I heard someone going up the stairs instead. When I opened my door, I found a stack of Christmas presents, in fancy wrap, on my doormat. When I opened up the card that came with these gifts, I was NOT happy!!! The gifts were from NDOOFUS!!!! How she got inside a secure building with a security system, I have NO idea!
Then she writes inside the card: "(Bones), Refuse the gifts because they're too little - or give them to (Mr. Blue). Thinking of you this Christmas - God Bless You!"
What IS it with this passive-aggressive stuff?!?!?! :P
I got rid of everything she dumped on my doorstep. Even Mr. Blue didn't want any of it because it was clearly CRAP! NDoofus may have wrapped it all up in the fanciest gift wrap possible but CRAP wrapped in fanciness is STILL CRAP!!!! She's probably expecting me to break my NC and call her to "thank" her for the "gifts". I'm still remaining NC and she can go SCREW herself!
Oh Bonesie. Is that one of your rellies or a former friend? I can never get my head around that sort of thing. I remember one year my mum gave me this beautiful hand crafted gift bag. It looked like the sort of thing you'd put a silk scarf in, or a piece of jewellery, something really classy and elegant. Inside was a three pack of socks, with the price tag still on, £3.99. Passive aggressive messages abound! Ignore is the best thing, I think, as you're doing. Hope the rest of your week has been okay xx
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This must be the year for N's to come out of hiding and start bugging us again! :P
I heard a knock on my door a few moments ago. I called out, thinking it was one of my neighbors in my condo building, and I heard someone going up the stairs instead. When I opened my door, I found a stack of Christmas presents, in fancy wrap, on my doormat. When I opened up the card that came with these gifts, I was NOT happy!!! The gifts were from NDOOFUS!!!! How she got inside a secure building with a security system, I have NO idea!
Then she writes inside the card: "(Bones), Refuse the gifts because they're too little - or give them to (Mr. Blue). Thinking of you this Christmas - God Bless You!"
What IS it with this passive-aggressive stuff?!?!?! :P
I got rid of everything she dumped on my doorstep. Even Mr. Blue didn't want any of it because it was clearly CRAP! NDoofus may have wrapped it all up in the fanciest gift wrap possible but CRAP wrapped in fanciness is STILL CRAP!!!! She's probably expecting me to break my NC and call her to "thank" her for the "gifts". I'm still remaining NC and she can go SCREW herself!
Oh Bonesie. Is that one of your rellies or a former friend? I can never get my head around that sort of thing. I remember one year my mum gave me this beautiful hand crafted gift bag. It looked like the sort of thing you'd put a silk scarf in, or a piece of jewellery, something really classy and elegant. Inside was a three pack of socks, with the price tag still on, £3.99. Passive aggressive messages abound! Ignore is the best thing, I think, as you're doing. Hope the rest of your week has been okay xx
Thanks, Tupp.
NDoofus is the former friend who created a mess at my graduation back in 2007. I've been NC for nearly five years now. Based on the description of your mum and this NDoofus, they sound like twins separated at birth! They both do the same crap by "gifting" crap in fancy wrap with Passive-aggressive messages! :P
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Regarding the box of rotting fruit that she dumped on my doorstep. The box was from a company named "Harry and David". I have NO idea how long she hung onto that box of fruit, after it was gifted to her, before she decided to dump it on me. I've looked up the company and their prices are NOT cheap! She would NEVER pay that kind of price for a gift to someone who has been NC as long as I have. Typical N-CRAP!!!! :P
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Can you like take it back to her and leave the rotten stuff on her porch? :(
currently my mother and father don't have my address any longer they kind of lost my trust a long time ago etc. so they can't mail me anything, they can not show up unannounced or even be "coincidentally" in the neighborhood. It's their own doing.
My mother actually gave me her used underwear if it makes you feel any better :shock:
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131229
I'd tell these so-called "relatives" to EFF OFF!!! It's NONE of their business!!!!
Yah with the hair dresser situation it's kind of like whatever. The lady shouldn't have to fire her hair stylist of 17 years.
LOL: "eat before you go and go as infrequently as possible" all because people don't have good dining manners :P
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Can you like take it back to her and leave the rotten stuff on her porch? :(
currently my mother and father don't have my address any longer they kind of lost my trust a long time ago etc. so they can't mail me anything, they can not show up unannounced or even be "coincidentally" in the neighborhood. It's their own doing.
My mother actually gave me her used underwear if it makes you feel any better :shock:
Green, I don't know whether to laugh or cry. WTF? :shock:
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Can you like take it back to her and leave the rotten stuff on her porch? :(
currently my mother and father don't have my address any longer they kind of lost my trust a long time ago etc. so they can't mail me anything, they can not show up unannounced or even be "coincidentally" in the neighborhood. It's their own doing.
My mother actually gave me her used underwear if it makes you feel any better :shock:
It's already been tossed in the garbage and hauled away. Even going over to NDoofus' neighborhood would give her the attention she craves and trying to force me to give her ... which would break the NC. I think I figured out what she actually did as I could not find that particular box listed individually. It was a box of six comice pears that WERE PART of a gift tower she received, possibly from her financially well-off sister and brother-in-law, that included chocolate covered cherries, popcorn, mixed nuts, and other goodies. She did NOT want the pears, but hung onto them for awhile until they started to turn mushy and smell strong. Then she wrapped that rotting garbage in fancy wrap and dumped them on my doorstep.
Used underwear?!?!?!?! EEEWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!! That NWomb-Donor is indescribable!!!!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131230
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/all-grown-up-and-not-what-she-expected.html
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...................................
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I like what David Gerrold wrote. I'm quoting it below:
"I'm going to share this, even though it's probably going to get me in a lot of trouble.
Looking back at various situations in my life ... the people I've met, the people I've kept, the people I've left behind, the people I've learned from, here's some of what I've learned:
All of us are crazy. Choose whatever word you want. Deranged, neurotic, off-balance, eccentric, looney-toon, whatever.
Most of us have learned to channel our particular quirks and idiosyncrasies and fetishes into healthy outlets. I write. Others paint pictures. Or sing. Or act. Or cook. Or knit. Or not. Whatever. Some of us are two kittens short of a crazy cat lady. It doesn't matter. Most of us have learned how to get along enough to be part of whatever community accepts us and we do our best to support that community's survival.
And we call that life. And for most of us, that's a very comfortable comfort zone.
Actually, there's no such thing as a comfort zone. When you start measuring the conditions of your comfort zone, you find it isn't comfortable, it's cramped. It's really the zone of resignation, the zone of denial, the zone of what you are willing to settle for. It's where you gave up. Results come from the discomfort zone, the zone of risk. But most of us only go to the zone of risk when the alternative is even more uncomfortable.
Living in the comfort zone is actually impossible, because it's a zone of retreat -- and when you retreat from life, life pursues you anyway.
Along the way, somewhere on the journey between screaming one's way out of a comfortable vagina (the last real comfort in life) and the last rattle before the inevitable grave, usually in the first part of the journey but not always, bad things happen to us and we make a decision "never again" and we shut down that part of our soul. If enough bad things happen to us, we get hammered into post-dramatic stress-disorder.
Sometimes we can't help it. Sometimes it's chemical. Sometimes it's hardwired. Sometimes it's a physical trauma. Sometimes it's just because the anvil fell on us. And sometimes it's because we fall into a victim racket, a martyr narrative, a self-centered narcissistic view of life. (That latter one is one we all suffer from, we just express it in different ways, everything from humility to arrogance.)
And sometimes, some of us, get so far down that path, that we fall prey to the lunatic variation of the Dunning-Kruger effect.
The Dunning-Kruger effect (paraphrasing here) is that some people are so stupid they don't know how stupid they are. Or, to put it another way, ignorant people are confident and assured in their ignorant beliefs. Educated individuals know enough to be skeptical and doubtful about absolutes and certainty. Ignorant people assume that the expressed doubts of an educated person, the cautious willingness to consider other possibilities means that the educated person is wrong and that their own confident assurance proves that they're correct in their ignorance. It's scary to see this in action.
The unnamed lunatic variation of the Dunning-Kruger effect (and this is one syndrome I truly do not want my name attached to) is that some people are so crazy, neurotic, insane -- or just bat-shit crazy -- that they cannot tell just how crazy, neurotic, insane, and bat-shit crazy they are.
Example: Several years ago, my son had a friend -- no, that's too cozy; let's call him an acquaintance -- an acquaintance who was severely bipolar. At the top of his cycle, he would tell me how much he admired Sean, what a good person Sean really is. At the bottom of his cycle, he would tell me the most horrific stories about what a dangerous monster my son is. (I know what kind of a monster my son is, I raised him.) What we were seeing in action was that his perceptions changed with the rise and fall of his cycle. At no point was this man ever aware that his own bipolar condition was affecting his ability to perceive what was happening.
Another example, from longer back: A woman I knew had her own set of issues -- very complex. Not just issues, subscriptions. No, a whole library. She could be charming and usually was. She was literate, passionate, and intelligent. She fancied herself a defender of the downtrodden. Of course, that played into her own martyr self-image -- she continually ended up in situations where others were happily nailing her to a cross and she was screaming about the injustice of it all. She never noticed how vindictive she was, and when it was pointed out to her, she always (self-righteously) pointed how how the victims of her wrath deserved it.
I could list a few other examples, but I don't want to fall into the trap of creating anecdata -- extrapolating the whole from one or two instances.
But what I've noticed -- and this is the lunatic version of the Dunning-Kruger effect -- is that some people cannot step back and look at their own behavior and the effect it has on others.
Here's a clue -- think about every problem you've ever had in your entire life. They all had one thing in common. YOU were there. The problems you have are the problems you chose, the problems you created by the way you chose to experience the situation. A problem is any situation you are putting up with or trying to change. A problem is created by the simple declaration: "I can't handle this." Because if you could handle it, it wouldn't be a problem.
But there are people on this planet who cannot look at themselves in that larger context -- possibly because it would mean giving up the victim story, possibly because they are simply unable to step back and open up that fabled "third eye" we call insight. Inner sight.
And that's the point of this essay. A person who cannot look at himself, cannot change. When you discover you have a person like that in your life, if he or she is going to stay stuck, you're going to stay stuck with them. And if the stuckness is particularly annoying, particularly damaging, particularly appalling, and if we are not trained to recognize the clinical elements of the condition, then the easiest description is "bat-shit crazy."
Fortunately, I have not had too many people like that in my life. Usually, I've been pretty good at keeping them from getting close enough to do much damage. Either I learned it early, or I have a natural reticence. (Would you believe I used to be painfully shy?) Whatever, there's a reason the moat around Electric Davidland has both piranhas and crocodiles.
You cannot have a healthy relationship with bat-shit crazy, with the bat-shit crazy variation of Dunning Kruger.
And that's really what we're all looking for in life -- healthy relationships.
Werner Erhard once said to a person having difficulty with a relationship: "Kill it or cure it."
As horrific as that sounds on first hearing, when you think about it, it's the only rational advice. If you cannot cure the relationship, why stay in it? Kill it.
And if that person is bat-shit crazy, well ... that's a pretty good indicator of what's possible and what's not.
If you're my friend, you've passed the test. Fortunately, most of the people on this planet are NOT bat-shit crazy. The nice thing about bat-shit crazy behavior is that it's almost as good as a warning sign.
Okay, here's the sidebar. Having said all that, it might seem like I am being harshly judgmental about the truly mentally ill. Actually, no. I have sympathy and compassion. I know that professional help, good therapists, and good coaches can make a profound difference.
But I'm NOT qualified or trained to be a therapist. And ... beyond that, even if I were, I would not be obligated to take on any client I chose not to, for whatever reasons.
The same applies to friendships. We choose our friends because they contribute to us and we contribute to them -- that's the healthiest relationship, true partnership. Giver/Giver. Any other variation, if there's a taker on either side of the equation, that's not healthy.
I say that a person's first responsibility is to take care of their own well-being. Otherwise they have nothing to give to anyone else. And that means monitoring and maintaining the healthiest relationships possible.
A realization I had recently and have begun sharing is this one: You are not in it for you. You are in it for the others. When you get that, all of your relationships shift. (I realized even before I adopted my son that the family I was creating wasn't for me, it was for him. That was the first inkling of the larger recognition of the nature of partnership and community.)"
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/12/dear_prudence_follow_ups_from_2013_letters.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/why-so-unwelcome.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131231
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Bones, I really enjoyed the David Gerrold piece.
Thank you for sharing that. Very thought-provoking.
Who is he?
love
Hops
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Bones, I really enjoyed the David Gerrold piece.
Thank you for sharing that. Very thought-provoking.
Who is he?
love
Hops
Morning, Hops.
You're welcome.
Have you heard of: "The Trouble with Tribbles"?
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140101
Messages for the New Year.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/down-and-tapped-out.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/gambling-with-her-marriage.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140102
Sounds painfully familiar.....
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/01/dear_prudence_i_ve_discovered_my_son_is_gay_and_sleeping_with_his_sister.html
I have to disagree with Prudence. Even if they are young adults, it's still "my house, my rules" apply ESPECIALLY if the homeowners are paying ALL the bills so these college students can live at home!
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For some reason when I read that David Gerrold writing I hear Wiliam Shatner's voice saying it, even maybe to a beat
Didn't captain kirk read this ?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=efO6UJyTVOM
I know Captain Kirk aka William Shatner and the cadence sounded like the writing piece by David Gerrold and considering that David Gerrold wrote sci-fi stuff then it isn't too far fetched.
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For some reason when I read that David Gerrold writing I hear Wiliam Shatner's voice saying it, even maybe to a beat
Didn't captain kirk read this ?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=efO6UJyTVOM
I know Captain Kirk aka William Shatner and the cadence sounded like the writing piece by David Gerrold and considering that David Gerrold wrote sci-fi stuff then it isn't too far fetched.
William Shatner has also done some sci-fi writing himself. It wouldn't surprise me that David Gerrold has influenced him.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140103
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/much-ado-about-nothing.html
I don't agree with the responses about the 1-year-old baby.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/when-suspicions-rule-213bc1e78c.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/working-with-a-female-boss-who-prefers-males.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140104
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This had me cracking up laughing this morning :lol: :
http://astrojojo.com/blog/after-lincoln-spielberg-announced-his-next-big-movie-obama-and-the-actor-who-will-play-the-u-s-president-is/
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140105
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/sis-wants-to-keep-brothers-safe-from-moms-bad-choice.html
Once again, the letter is screwed up with lousy edits to the point that it's not making sense.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/who-you-calling-cheap-freeloader.html
Sounds familiar.
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140106
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/01/dear_prudence_we_re_giving_our_baby_up_for_adoption_but_my_husband_wants.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140107
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/social-outcasts-grown-up-and-apart.html
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/01/dear_prudence_my_best_friend_excluded_me_from_his_funeral_because_i_m_a.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/choose-assertive-over-confrontational.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140108
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/working-with-a-female-boss-who-prefers-males.html
It appears that www.creators.com may have stopped publishing Lindsey Novak for some reason. There's usually an announcement when a column is about to stop. I didn't see any such announcement with this one.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/teaching-manners-and-ethics-to-a-coworker-modern-day-my-fair-lady.html
A new article did appear so I'm not sure what the website is actually doing.
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140109
Interesting.................
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/opposites-also-repel.html
Looks like the editors messed up again.
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/01/dear_prudence_i_fantasize_about_rough_sex_but_jury_duty_spoiled_it.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/real-grief-leads-to-flimsy-final-straw.html
I don't know what is going on with the editors of this advice column. The editing has been REALLY sloppy lately!
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/he-wrote-what-in-the-newspaper-27f526abfd.html
Shaking my head.......
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140110
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140111
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/so-so-review-leads-to-promotion.html
It seems something has gone wrong with this website when portions of letters simply disappear.
-
Ever had one of those days when your gut-level instinct is telling you some unpleasant facts?
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/unprotected-cheating.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140112
I had forgotten one of Ben Franklin's sayings.
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140113
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/shadows-in-law.html
YIKES!!!
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/01/dear_prudence_i_m_too_negative_a_person_is_there_any_hope_for_me.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/drawn-to-exes.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140114
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/01/dear_prudence_my_boyfriend_wants_a_threesome_really_badly.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140115
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/the-passion-question.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/misplaced-other-peoples-money.html
BTW, among the "Below the Line" comments, there is a follow-up to this:
"Dear Annie: My fiance is amazing, sensitive and wonderful. The only problem is his sister.
When we became engaged, "Jessie" was so jealous, her mother begged us to make her my maid of honor. I did, to keep the peace. I've spoken with Jessie a handful of times and don't particularly like her. She's 29, gets a monthly allowance from her parents because she lives beyond her means, and threatens to withhold her young son from my fiance and his parents when they won't give her what she wants.
We told Jessie she could help with the wedding plans, but then she had a total meltdown and lashed out at my fiance and his mom. We then informed her that she cannot come to the wedding unless she apologizes. This has resulted in my not being allowed near her son. My future mother-in-law is trying to force us to invite her, saying, "I promise to keep her under control so she won't wreck the wedding." The fact that she needs to say that makes me very nervous.
My fiance isn't close to his sister and is tired of her behavior. I don't want her at my wedding because she's been so rude to both of us, but I'd accept her if she apologized. Do you think we should hold out and hope? It is our wedding. Can't we do what we want? — The Bride
Dear Bride: Well, yes and no. Weddings represent the joining of families and, as such, should not become grudge matches. Demanding an apology from Jessie is an exercise in futility. She would rather create ill will than admit wrongdoing, and not being allowed to attend the wedding will fuel her fire for years to come. She could use some professional counseling. Meanwhile, consider the long-term repercussions of excluding her. And if you decide to forgive her, don't rely on Jessie's mother to rein her in. Ask a few friends to keep her in check, or hire someone to discreetly escort her out if she creates a scene."
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/fired-after-blowup-is-a-good-lesson.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140116
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/01/dear_prudence_i_want_to_kill_myself_so_my_family_gets_the_insurance.html
YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-
I'm in a state of shock right now. One of my friends, from a club that I'm in, has been declared brain-dead after being in a house fire this morning. She had been battling cancer for quite a while and then had a stroke on top of that. I had prepared myself for the eventuality of her dying either from the cancer and/or the stroke but THIS?!?!?!?
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140117
The first letter is painfully familiar. (Long story.)
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/family-plans.html
Excuse me??? WTF?!?!?!?!?
-
Really sorry to hear about your friend, Bones.
Hops
-
Really sorry to hear about your friend, Bones.
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
The fire is still being investigated and no one will know what actually happened until the report is released. My BIGGEST question is what happened to ALL the smoke detectors that were supposed to be in her house? At least one of them should have been sounding off to wake her up. But she slept through everything until her heart and breathing stopped.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/an-estranged-father-passes.html
The advice columnists and the letter writer don't really know what led to the estrangement in the first place. The LW's brother could have been a toxic controlling N and his children finally had enough.
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140118
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140119
It sounds like the letter writer is an Aspie and no one else gets it. The issue with the eye contact is a HUGE clue that she might be on the Spectrum!
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/make-believe-miscarriage.html
This "Ruth" sounds like a piece of work! :P
-
I'm in a state of shock right now. One of my friends, from a club that I'm in, has been declared brain-dead after being in a house fire this morning. She had been battling cancer for quite a while and then had a stroke on top of that. I had prepared myself for the eventuality of her dying either from the cancer and/or the stroke but THIS?!?!?!?
I'm so sorry to hear about your friend, Bones, what an awful thing to have happen. ((((((((((((((((((((Bones))))))))))))))))))))))))))
-
I'm in a state of shock right now. One of my friends, from a club that I'm in, has been declared brain-dead after being in a house fire this morning. She had been battling cancer for quite a while and then had a stroke on top of that. I had prepared myself for the eventuality of her dying either from the cancer and/or the stroke but THIS?!?!?!?
I'm so sorry to hear about your friend, Bones, what an awful thing to have happen. ((((((((((((((((((((Bones))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Thanks, (((((((Tupp))))))))). All the members of the club are in a state of shock right now. One of our members, who was her emergency contact, is experiencing a form of PTSD because he went to the scene after the police called him and then went to the hospital to say his final goodbyes to her before the plug was pulled. Then, last night, as he and his wife were watching a program that had previously been DVR'd, there was a scene that was eerily identical to what happened to our late friend and that was more than he and his wife could handle! The rest of the club has been alerted so we can avoid watching that particular show for now. We don't need reminders of what has happened in real life.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/remembering-martin-luther-king-jr.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140120
If this passenger, who is getting a free ride, wants to cop an attitude then she needs to find other transportation. No driver should be subjected to THAT! :P
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140121
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/a-truly-loveless-marriage.html
Regarding the letter from "Rolled Up the Welcome Mat", s/he could have also included: "Do you CONSTANTLY interfere in the marriages/relationships of your adult children DEMANDING that they produce MORE grandchildren for YOU because you THINK you're ENTITLED?!?!?" (I've known a nutjob who behaved just like that and attempted to force me to side with her when her adult daughter and son-in-law told her off.)
-
Hi Bones ... I am so pooped ...that is another story ..just wanted to say Hello ...
love and light always
moonlight
-
Hi Bones ... I am so pooped ...that is another story ..just wanted to say Hello ...
love and light always
moonlight
Hi, Moonlight.
Have we met before?
-
Hi Bones ....Yes a very long time ago ....I am moon ....it has been a long time since I was on the board...But yes...
It is like meeting for the first time....
love & light
moon
-
Hi Bones ....Yes a very long time ago ....I am moon ....it has been a long time since I was on the board...But yes...
It is like meeting for the first time....
love & light
moon
Thanks, Moon. It must have been 2007.
-
Bones ...I was here with Sela, CB123, Write, Reallyme, Pennyplant and many others ....
about 5 years ...long time ...If you do not remember I do understand....
It has been a long time...and Doc G just let me rejoin today....
so hi sorry if I came on too strong in my excitement to rejoin VESM
moonlight
-
Bones ...I was here with Sela, CB123, Write, Reallyme, Pennyplant and many others ....
about 5 years ...long time ...If you do not remember I do understand....
It has been a long time...and Doc G just let me rejoin today....
so hi sorry if I came on too strong in my excitement to rejoin VESM
moonlight
No problem, Moon.
A lot has happened in five years.
-
Bones
Yes sir ree that is me....long time ...
Hope all is well for you...
Good to be back ...
moon ...yes 2007 wow what a good memory
:D
-
Bones
Yes sir ree that is me....long time ...
Hope all is well for you...
Good to be back ...
moon ...yes 2007 wow what a good memory
:D
:D
That was about the time I first joined and was dealing with NDoofus.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/still-mad-in-maine.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140122
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/fired-after-blowup-is-a-good-lesson.html
For some strange reason, this column is not showing up on the website.
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/01/dear_prudence_should_boys_avoid_pink_things_in_order_not_to_get_bullied.html
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/01/dear_prudence_i_want_to_stop_taking_my_herpes_suppressive_pills.html
Part One of a Two-Parter.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/professional-level-job-search-benefits-from-networking.html
I'm not certain what www.creators.com/advice is doing lately.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/lay-off-the-dearly-departed.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140123
Shaking my head.......
-
Hi Bones ,
Hemingway was a great writer....his personal life torment ....for many reasons I would not use Hemingway as the "poster child" for marital bliss....But it is Hemingway's suffering that produced his great writing....This husband needs a better role model........
Love and Light Moon
-
Hi Bones ,
Hemingway was a great writer....his personal life torment ....for many reasons I would not use Hemingway as the "poster child" for marital bliss....But it is Hemingway's suffering that produced his great writing....This husband needs a better role model........
Love and Light Moon
I agree!!!!
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/01/dear_prudence_my_mom_and_stepdad_want_my_eggs_in_order_to_have_a_baby.html
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140124
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/not-loving-lois.html
-
Ditto that EWWWW, Bones.
Poor kid!
Her parents have an incredible sense of eggtitlement....
Hops
-
Ditto that EWWWW, Bones.
Poor kid!
Her parents have an incredible sense of eggtitlement....
Hops
Boundary violations to the EGGTREME!!!!! :P
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/hostess-wants-her-head-count.html
I get the feeling that the LW1 has said something to her sister, several times, but the sister continues to act as if SHE has special privileges!
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140125
Shaking my head.......
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140126
-
Just woke up from a nightmare where I was trying to intervene in a situation where a woman was using her little daughter like a punching bag. The woman, who was doing the punching, kept screaming: "But now she is THINKING FORBIDDEN THOUGHTS! I WILL NOT ALLOW THAT!" and started punching harder. I told her that, in that case, then hit me since I'm thinking the same forbidden thoughts. She stopped her punching, looked at me and responded, "But you can hit me back!" I thought to myself: "
Precisely!" but I woke up at that point.
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140127
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/philandering-hubbys-brother-made-him-do-it.html
Shaking my head......
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/01/dear_prudence_my_brother_disowned_us_for_his_in_laws.html
-
Hum, I feel like that article is pretty common about how people change when they get married. Lots of step-parents and re-marriages do this to their children from previous marriages. The children are like an after-thought. Seems like something that many people experience in one way or another.
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/01/dear_prudence_my_mild_autism_means_i_can_t_tell_if_a_woman_is_flirting_with.html
Part Two of Dear Prudence
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/might-have-misled-him.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140128
-
Hum, I feel like that article is pretty common about how people change when they get married. Lots of step-parents and re-marriages do this to their children from previous marriages. The children are like an after-thought. Seems like something that many people experience in one way or another.
With this brother, I really don't know because we only have the letter writer's word about this. I can't help but feel there is more going on than the letter writer is willing to reveal.
-
Yah for sure, we never get ALL of the details.
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140129
Regarding the last letter, this "friend" has a crying meltdown when she's told NOT to snoop into or take other people's things without permission and the "friend's" husband goes after whoever DARED say "No" to his wife's prying and taking?!?!? With "friends" like that, who needs enemies?
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/naked-babies-all-sweet-no-shame.html
Shaking my head......
-
Yah for sure, we never get ALL of the details.
Plus it's been discovered that the advice columnists edit out quite a bit before they publish anything.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/40-year-old-baby.html
Sheesh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/great-boss-bad-co-workers.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140130
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/01/dear_prudence_is_missing_teeth_a_relationship_deal_breaker.html
-
Having trouble sleeping.
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140131
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/an-odd-kind-of-jealousy-c4c7f32486.html
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/waaaay-beyond-messy-7d9447d305.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/kids-sleeping-with-adult-relatives-how-old-is-too-old.html
-
Struggling with PTSD flashbacks....probably why I can't sleep. Yesterday, as I was following up with comparison shopping for health insurance to see if I can find a better deal than what I have currently, the gentleman who was helping me navigate through the database asked me a question that is part of establishing one's identity in a computer...."What was the name of one of my childhood friends?"
It suddenly hit me that I NEVER had childhood friends so I couldn't name anyone.
-
Aww, Bones.
You can lie and tell them Miss Persnickitoophilus Hopalongitus was your BFF, but
she moved away....
Hops
-
Aww, Bones.
You can lie and tell them Miss Persnickitoophilus Hopalongitus was your BFF, but
she moved away....
Hops
All I could do was draw a blank......
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/he-just-wants-to-be-friends-holds-no-hidden-meaning.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140201
-
I've finally given up on trying to make friends anymore. I've tried going to Meet-ups, where we were supposed to have something in common, only to find myself alone in a crowd....again. Any attempts at conversation is either met with "crickets" or grunts. The same thing happens when dealing with either formal or informal gatherings of former high school classmates.....alone in a crowd. It finally hit me that NONE of these people are friends and they have NO interest in becoming friends no matter what I've tried to do to be friendly. My next high school reunion is coming up soon and I plan on organizing it again, as that is one of my skills, but I have NO plans on attending. I've stopped attending the Meet-ups because (1) I can't afford to eat at the restaurant every week, and (2) I'm TIRED of sitting alone in a crowd week after week. If I have to be alone in a crowd, I might as well save my money, save my gas, save my energy and stay home. I'm tired of beating my head on a brick wall. I'm done.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKY-smJ6aBQ
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140202
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/wife-cant-stand-that-hubby-turns-the-other-cheek.html
-
Bones, I am so sorry.
The loneliness you feel must be so hard.
I hope you can find some kind ear, somebody who sees that
Aspie doesn't mean ... don't need anyone.
I hear.
love to you,
Hops
-
Bones, I am so sorry.
The loneliness you feel must be so hard.
I hope you can find some kind ear, somebody who sees that
Aspie doesn't mean ... don't need anyone.
I hear.
love to you,
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
Around here, it's hard being an Aspie.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/hard-choices-when-you-dont-trust-the-trustee.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140203
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/02/dear_prudence_philip_seymour_hoffman_died_from_drug_use_why_is_everyone.html
-
I felt a real pang of loss; PSH's acting moved me deeply. I was glad to read Prudie's observations about callousness in her response to to the letter writer. I liked it that the person wrote in, that the situation was in an office rather than a marriage, and that the writer seemed open to learning whether there was something "off" about his/her response...
I thank my lucky stars I never became addicted to anything other than nicotine. I don't understand the "first choice" or threshold moment, when a person chooses to play with fire with drugs so addicting. But likewise, I don't understand how it feels to walk in his shoes --- his sensitivity literally poured off the screen at times, and I can't imagine how celebrity was for him.
Enough pressure can warp granite.
Thanks, Bones.
Hops
-
I felt a real pang of loss; PSH's acting moved me deeply. I was glad to read Prudie's observations about callousness in her response to to the letter writer. I liked it that the person wrote in, that the situation was in an office rather than a marriage, and that the writer seemed open to learning whether there was something "off" about his/her response...
I thank my lucky stars I never became addicted to anything other than nicotine. I don't understand the "first choice" or threshold moment, when a person chooses to play with fire with drugs so addicting. But likewise, I don't understand how it feels to walk in his shoes --- his sensitivity literally poured off the screen at times, and I can't imagine how celebrity was for him.
Enough pressure can warp granite.
Thanks, Bones.
Hops
You're welcome, Hops.
I could speak some regarding my own experiences with addiction and I'll leave that for another time. My energy level is depleted right now.
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/02/dear_prudence_my_wife_may_be_pregnant_with_some_other_man_s_child.html
Shaking my head.....
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140204
If some DUMB-ASS FOOL came into MY house and attempted to banish me from MY OWN HOME for HIS convenience, he would find his butt out in the snow so FAST that his head would spin! MY HOUSE, MY RULES!!!!!! :P
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/nervy-family-resents-new-parents-request-for-day-of-peace.html
Let me get this straight.....
A set of twins are born SEVERAL WEEKS EARLY......these twins had to stay in the NICU in order to SURVIVE....the parents are STRESSED, EXHAUSTED, and WORRIED given the fact that these PREMATURE TWINS ARE STILL FRAGILE and WILL BE FRAGILE FOR QUITE A WHILE!!!!
But the QUEEN %$#@ of the UNIVERSE is THROWING A TANTRUM because the new parents of the FRAGILE PREEMIES DARED SAY WAIT ONE DAY....THE DAY THEY COME HOME FROM THE NICU?!?!?!?!?!? And, this SELF-CENTERED, SELF-ABSORBED B*TCH CONTINUES to ABUSE them for the RESPONSIBLE decision they made FOR THEIR OWN FAMILY?!?!?!?!
This sounds PAINFULLY FAMILIAR!!!
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/daredevil-girlfriend-drives-her-guy-nuts.html
Hey, she's 65...she's having FUN!!! You are NOT her father, owner, or keeper! She does NOT live with you full time and she is NOT spending YOUR money! Back off, butt out, shut up!
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140205
-
http://taniaannmarshall.wordpress.com/2013/03/27/flying-under-the-radar-girls-and-women-with-aspergers-syndrome-2/
http://www.tonyattwood.com.au/index.php/about-aspergers/girls-and-women-who-have-aspergers
*Nodding head vigorously*
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140206
I can see two sides to this coin.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/cavorting-with-paid-escorts-aka-the-last-straw.html
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/02/dear_prudence_my_son_s_secret_biological_father_wants_in_his_life.html
Sheesh.
-
I'm in a state of shock right now. One of my friends, from a club that I'm in, has been declared brain-dead after being in a house fire this morning. She had been battling cancer for quite a while and then had a stroke on top of that. I had prepared myself for the eventuality of her dying either from the cancer and/or the stroke but THIS?!?!?!?
This person died on January 16th and our club has been holding off on doing anything until we hear about funeral/memorial arrangements from her brother. The last we heard from him, he tells us that there is a "turf battle" going on between two jurisdictions and that because she wasn't a "murder victim", she's "not that important".
It is now February 6th and we STILL HAVE NOT HEARD ANOTHER WORD from this relative...no obituary, NO NOTHING! I don't know about you, but I can't help but get suspicious. We, in the club, have been aware that her FOO is VERY DYSFUNCTIONAL and she had been the scapegoat for YEARS while her brother was the GOLDEN CHILD. (Sound familiar?) When she was alive, and in failing health, several of her friends asked the brother if he could check in on her once in a while since he lives in the area. He couldn't be bothered because it was "too inconvenient". (Another familiar refrain that I've dealt with in other situations.) He didn't give a damn while she was alive so I won't be surprised that he still doesn't give a damn now that she's dead and wouldn't give a damn about her friends, who acted more like family than he could be bothered to do. I don't feel that it is right to do that to her remains. She, at least, deserves a decent burial.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/its-definitely-not-you-buddy.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/employees-should-take-jobs-offered-in-layoff-c89f35020a.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140207
-
That's a very sad story, Bones.
Sad as it is, though, she is at peace, flown far away, no fear, no pain, no hurt...
their neglect can't touch her now.
Hops
-
That's a very sad story, Bones.
Sad as it is, though, she is at peace, flown far away, no fear, no pain, no hurt...
their neglect can't touch her now.
Hops
Yeah........I know.
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140208
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/care-for-the-nasty.html
This family dysfunction sounds familiar.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/lulu-spoiled-lemon.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140209
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140210
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/when-the-single-source-of-your-marital-angst-isnt-going-anywhere.html
The first situation sounds like a MESS!
-
I'm trying to figure out something.....
I don't understand WHY people will insist/persist in talking the ENTIRE TIME through a TV show, movie, concert, etc. that they claim they are interested in watching. I want to HEAR THE PROGRAM NOT THE CONSTANT NON-STOP YAMMERING!!!!! :?
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/02/dear_prudence_my_creepy_roommate_says_my_perfume_turns_him_on.html
This roommate needs to GO!!!!
YEESH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/no-one-trusts-this-guys-wife.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140211
This might have triggers for survivors.
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/02/dear_prudence_my_mother_in_law_wants_to_test_my_children_s_dna.html
I'd tell this NMother-in-law to go @#$% herself!
-
I just woke up from a nightmare. I dreamt of a society that was WORSE than Fahrenheit 451! :shock:
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140212
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/benched-since-his-break.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/compassionate-enabling.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/5-tier-retaliation-for-whistle-blowing.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140213
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/02/dear_prudence_ex_stole_my_necklace_and_other_valentine_s_dilemmas.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140214
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/if-you-havent-let-go-you-havent-forgiven.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/the-40-mistake-10e43a8bcf.html
Makes me think of the saying: "No good deed goes unpunished." If I put that much work and expense into crocheting something for a beloved family member, only to have it thrown back in my face like that, I'd wouldn't bother with those people again because now I GET IT.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/get-out-now-and-dont-go-back.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140215
-
Feeling irritable this morning. I'm tired of having to explain the obvious, repeatedly, regarding asthma and second-hand smoke.
-
Just got a brochure in the mail regarding a workshop titled: "Disarming the Narcissist- Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed". Not sure what to think about this.
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140216
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/lonely-mom-should-sleep-alone.html
-
I'm really sorry, Bones. What a sad, sad end for him.
And it doesn't sound as though she's doing well at all.
What a relief that you DID survive and extricate yourself from those bioroots.
(Keep crocheting, I always think of you as that beautiful reef...)
love,
Hops
Thanks, Hops. I really appreciate this.
One of the things I did do was look up some county resources to relay to a go-between where she is staying temporarily. That's the best I can do. I refuse to subsidize her drinking.
I called the person back, who owns the cell phone that the homeless cousin borrowed. After it rang several times, it went to voice mail and I left a list of county resources that could be tapped into......Social Services, Office of the Aged, Adult Protective Services, 2-1-1, 3-1-1, the Homeless Hotline, etc. (During her "monologue" to me, she mentioned that her son is doing okay. I have the feeling she tried to hit him up for money and he gave her the same response I did.....NO.)
I have not heard back from either of them. I won't be surprised if I don't get another phone call for another several months until she thinks she can attempt to demand money again. She doesn't understand what the word "NO" means. I will NOT subsidize her drinking.
I'm scratching my head in bewilderment.
Last night, I got another phone call from my homeless cousin. Apparently, she's trying to get into assisted living. (She needs it as she has been unable to care for herself adequately for a long time and I suspect brain damage from her drinking.) I remembered her previous phone call but, wisely, chose not to bring it up. Then she started talking about how frequently her husband was visiting her and how she's attempting to make arrangements for him to get into assisted living. (Huh? :? During the last phone call, my homeless cousin told me he had been murdered even though her affect/tone/emotional state sounded like he had gone to the corner store and bought a loaf of bread.) By now, I'm thinking (a) she's drunk again and/or (b) she has dementia that could be alcohol-induced. Lord only knows. :?
-
I'm struggling for words right now.
First the massacre in Newtown, Connecticut. Then, a few minutes ago, I received a phone call from my second cousin...the one who is homeless. She was unable to find my phone number until today to call me. During the phone call, I learned that her husband was gunned down three months ago. She was too drunk to tell me any details before the call was terminated. She did attempt to demand money...again.
Dysfunction just doesn't even begin to describe this mess! :P
It's been well over a year since she called in December 2012. How she remembered to find my phone number, I do not know.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/roi-not-the-only-consideration.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140217
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140218
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/sexual-assailant-still-accepted.html
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/02/dear_prudence_i_used_to_dip_toothbrushes_in_toilet_water.html
Two wrongs don't make a right!
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/worried-about-dads-diet.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140219
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/02/dear_prudence_i_m_having_an_intellectual_affair_with_a_student_of_mine.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/2/20
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/getting-to-the-root-of-hair-removal.html
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/02/dear_prudence_my_wife_has_to_be_drunk_to_have_sex.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/adult-bedwetter-afraid-to-take-it-to-the-next-level.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/staff-just-wants-respect.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/one-way-streets-and-closets-6bd5789a58.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/marital-stalemate.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/2/21
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/2/22
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/2/23
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/controlling-can-be-abusive.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/cheap-dad-sad-dad.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/2/24
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/02/dear_prudence_a_man_was_sniffing_the_pillows_and_sheets_in_my_hotel_room.html
YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :shock:
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/disinvited-and-suspicious.html
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/02/dear_prudence_a_man_was_sniffing_the_pillows_and_sheets_in_my_hotel_room.html
YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :shock:
Oh my God. A friend of mine runs a hotel; some of the stories he tells me about the things they find in hotel bedrooms after the guests have left really make you wonder about some people :shock:
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/02/dear_prudence_a_man_was_sniffing_the_pillows_and_sheets_in_my_hotel_room.html
YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :shock:
Oh my God. A friend of mine runs a hotel; some of the stories he tells me about the things they find in hotel bedrooms after the guests have left really make you wonder about some people :shock:
Makes me shake my head........
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/02/dear_prudence_my_boyfriend_likes_sex_after_i_poop.html
EW!
-
OMG.
What the mags will do for clicks these days....
Yikers!
And
Ewwww.... Bones, did you see Michelle Obama guest on Jimmy Fallon and do a whole sketch about EWW! with him and Will Ferrell dressed as 13 y/o girls? All 3 of them kept saying, EWWWW! and it was really funny.
xo
Hops
-
OMG.
What the mags will do for clicks these days....
Yikers!
And
Ewwww.... Bones, did you see Michelle Obama guest on Jimmy Fallon and do a whole sketch about EWW! with him and Will Ferrell dressed as 13 y/o girls? All 3 of them kept saying, EWWWW! and it was really funny.
xo
Hops
I saw the video on Facebook and, yes, it was very funny!
Regarding the mags, it makes me shake my head.....
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/unrequited-and-unhealthy.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/2/26
That last letter.....ew!
-
http://invisibledisabilities.org/
For those of us who struggle with invisible disabilities. I wish I could get a copy of that booklet.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/pg-13-not-my-14-year-old.html
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/02/dear_prudence_my_daughter_was_tickled_and_prodded_by_a_man_in_the_middle.html
The first letter may contain triggers for survivors.
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/2/28
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/work-from-home-too-much-togetherness.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/dress-for-the-job-you-want-not-the-job-you-have.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/is-redemption-possible-dfb25a149e.html
-
I feel as if I am voiceless again. Someone asks me a question, I give that person an answer, and they DON'T HEAR ANYTHING I'VE SAID! :?
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/porn-problems.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/3/1
-
I feel as if I am voiceless again. Someone asks me a question, I give that person an answer, and they DON'T HEAR ANYTHING I'VE SAID! :?
I've just been asked the SAME question, AGAIN, and I've given the SAME ANSWER once more....IN WRITING...and I'm STILL NOT BEING HEARD!!!! What IS IT with people?!?!?!?!?
-
That really pushes your buttons, (((((((((Bones))))))) --
some
people
just
can't
hear
and
think
at
the
same
time
xo
-
That really pushes your buttons, (((((((((Bones))))))) --
some
people
just
can't
hear
and
think
at
the
same
time
xo
Like they can't rub their head, pat their belly, walk and chew bubble gum at the same time.
*Shaking my head*
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/3/2
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/3/3
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/long-rejected-by-familyyoung-man-unlikely-to-reach-out.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/mans-weight-gain-wrecks-wifes-libido.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/3/4
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/03/dear_prudence_my_daughter_got_into_an_ivy_league_summer_program_we_can_t.html
This could contain triggers for survivors.
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/03/dear_prudence_my_neighbors_still_have_their_christmas_decorations_up_what.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/3/5
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/such-a-thing-as-too-many-naked-toddler-pics.html
-
Good night Bones.
-
Good night Bones.
Good night.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/marital-death-by-mom-bomb.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/3/6
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/03/dear_prudence_is_my_boyfriend_a_freeloader_my_friends_think_so.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/3/7
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/worried-sick-in-the-wake-of-addicts-disappearing-act.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/dont-accept-the-unacceptable.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/it-is-in-the-bible-but-not-in-the-stars.html
-
Hi (((((((Bones)))))))--
thank you for the link to the Lindsay Novak column on work.
That was really interesting and helpful!
How are you doing these days, Miz B?
love to you
Hops
-
Hi (((((((Bones)))))))--
thank you for the link to the Lindsay Novak column on work.
That was really interesting and helpful!
How are you doing these days, Miz B?
love to you
Hops
You're welcome, Hops.
I'm taking things one day at a time. There's been too much snow which makes me housebound. I'm tired of cabin fever.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/former-friends-closing-in.html
And then there are some who REFUSE to accept "NO" as an answer.
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/3/8
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/3/9
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/flip-a-coin.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/screen-those-kidneys.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/3/10
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/03/dear_prudence_my_husband_texts_his_female_co_worker_all_the_time.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/freeloading-father-in-law.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/3/11
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/03/dear_prudence_my_boyfriend_pushes_me_to_lose_weight_but_i_m_not_obese.html
His comment of: "You're too sensitive...." is a HUGE RED FLAG!
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/much-ado-about-10-year-old-innuendo.html
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/03/dear_prudence_my_husband_has_fallen_in_love_with_our_teenage_exchange_student.html
YIKES!!!!!
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/climbing-out-of-debt----and-depression.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/job-hunting-after-a-conviction.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/3/13
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/3/14
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/oh-and-uh-by-the-way-f4c7016819.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/facebook-to-facebook-with-her-rapist.html
TRIGGER WARNING FOR SURVIVORS!
-
Having trouble sleeping right now.
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/3/15
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/3/16
GEEZ!!
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/3/17
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/can-there-be-trust-after-betrayal.html
There might be triggers here.
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/03/dear_prudence_my_polyamorous_sister_is_pregnant_and_it_s_weirding_me_out.html
-
Stepping outside my comfort zone is SCARY!!!!!!!! :shock:
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/03/dear_prudence_my_wife_commissioned_a_horribly_ugly_portrait_of_me.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/surviving-hurricane-veronica.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/3/18
-
My homeless cousin called me up last night to wish me a Happy Saint Patrick's Day. Unfortunately, she was celebrating and was absolutely smash-drunk out of her mind....again! I didn't tell her that I had just celebrated 29 years being clean and sober because I knew that I would be talking to alcohol....again. *Sigh!*
-
Stepping outside my comfort zone is SCARY!!!!!!!! :shock:
I've been chewing on this idea for about two years before I finally decided to bite the bullet, take the bull by the horns, and self-publish a story. I thought about publishing it in SmashWords until I realized that money would be involved, which would cause a HUGE boatload of flak with Paramount because it's a Star Trek story that involves Doctor Leonard McCoy and Ambassador Spock.
The next question, since it's been self-published, is "Now what?"
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/3/19
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/teen-friendship-blues.html
The last letter could have triggers for survivors.
-
Bones, I am awed!
May I have your autograph?
Let us know how it happens.
GOOD for you.
xo
Hops
-
Bones, I am awed!
May I have your autograph?
Let us know how it happens.
GOOD for you.
xo
Hops
Thanks, Hops. I've been using Fan Fiction websites that Paramount tolerates. They don't mind creative writing in the Trek Universe as long as we don't attempt to charge money without their authorization. Being a retiree, I can't afford to be sued by these "rich suits". I've had one other writer, who used to be involved with other Trek writers, approach me and tried to tell me to change my story completely, taking it out of the Trek Universe, in order to stay off of Paramount's radar. I told her that: (1) since I am NOT charging money for my story and that other fans have written fiction based in the Trek Universe without any grief because they are NOT charging money either, then Paramount should NOT have a problem with my story. I also pointed out the YouTube videos produced by Trekkies using old Trek scripts plus new Trek stories involving Kirk, Spock, and McCoy that Paramount has given their blessing to AS LONG AS THEY DON'T CHARGE MONEY. (2) If I changed my story completely, as per HER instructions, then it would NO LONGER BE MY STORY, it would become HER story, and it WOULD DESTROY THE WHOLE PREMISE OF MY STORY, if you know what I'm trying to explain. I think she wants to exert control over others. (She's attempted to do that with my friends in the Trek Fan Club at conventions to the point where she was DISINVITED to even be in the same room with them!) I could do without control freaks!
-
I had been working on this story for about two years, off and on, saving different chapters in separate files. Out of curiosity, I assembled all the different chapters into one file and discovered that I had written over 250 pages!!!!!! :shock: YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-
Had a strange and peaceful dream last night....and peaceful dreams are EXTREMELY rare for me, if they exist at all. I'm wondering if self-publishing my Star Trek story had something to do with that?
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/baby-boundaries.html
Shaking my head.....
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/3/20
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/03/dear_prudence_my_ex_didn_t_tell_me_she_was_transgender_until_i_confronted.html
-
Had a strange and peaceful dream last night....and peaceful dreams are EXTREMELY rare for me, if they exist at all. I'm wondering if self-publishing my Star Trek story had something to do with that?
Maybe I'm analyzing too much but I found myself doing a comparison between what happened to my relatives and what happened to Julian Lennon and his family under similar circumstances. Julian has become a peaceful and loving human being because his mother raised him that way and protected him from exploitation. As a result, he has a very close and loving relationship with his half-brother Sean. My half-sister had EVERYTHING taken away from her and destroyed because the QUEEN N-MONSTER DECREED IT and my Dad blindly obeyed the decree. As a result, I had NO relationship at all with my half-sister and her family and the Monster's poison is still there among my half-sister's descendants. That made me realize how easily things could have turned for Julian if Cynthia had not stood up to Yoko.
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/3/21
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/missing-intimacy-after-menopause.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/the-bad-seed-fa5b581af6.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/reporting-theft-when-the-boss-is-guilty.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/my-name-is-gossip.html
This is painfully familiar........
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/3/22
The wife described in the second letter sounds like a control freak.
-
Had a strange and peaceful dream last night....and peaceful dreams are EXTREMELY rare for me, if they exist at all. I'm wondering if self-publishing my Star Trek story had something to do with that?
I've been thinking about why I had been so afraid to share my Star Trek story for two years. One of my fears was that the N's would come across it and then come after me again because they would take it as a personal insult to their royal selves, even though NONE of them can be identified in the story by name....all the characters have fictional names that are NOWHERE near close to their names! Then I realized that no matter what I did or didn't do....no matter how well I succeeded at ANYTHING....no matter what I managed to achieve....they would hunt for some way to destroy it to make themselves feel superior because they are still convinced that I am NOTHING but a (R-word) to them.
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/3/23
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/let-the-defrauder-bear-the-burden.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/the-ex-ultimatum.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/3/24
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/03/dear_prudence_i_m_regretting_my_child_free_marriage.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/03/dear_prudence_i_wish_my_ex_would_die_i_really_do.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/3/25
The first letter sounds familiar.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/poker-faced-friends.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/bringing-up-baby.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/3/26
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/03/dear_prudence_i_ve_fallen_for_my_neighbor_but_he_may_not_want_me.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/boss-begs-employee-to-stay-strong-performance-pays-off-.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/cant-live-with-each-other-cant-live-without-each-other.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/high-maintenance-or-romantic-poser.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/mom-purloins-the-diary-c9d59809c4.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/3/27
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/3/28
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/bedwetting-begone.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/3/29
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/3/30
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/missing-it.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/what-to-do-about-all-the-sex-talk-at-grannys-house.html
This has triggers.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/3/31
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Feeling very FRUSTRATED right now! :P I'm SICK AND TIRED of people telling me they will assist with something then BAIL at the last second, leaving me holding the bag!
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/03/dear_prudence_should_i_leave_my_fianc_because_of_a_man_i_just_met.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/how-sterile-are-your-dentists-tools.html
The second letter, from "Evil Stepmother", tells me that she and her husband want to dictate and control but they are NOT getting THEIR way. So now they want to threaten that if the grown daughter doesn't do what THEY want, they will pick up their marbles and go home! Yeah....right! Real mature! The GROWN DAUGHTER is getting married WHERE THE GROWN DAUGHTER LIVES! Sounds right to me!
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/04/dear_prudence_my_twin_brother_had_a_one_night_stand_gave_her_my_name_and.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/no-one-likes-the-friendship-police.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/4/2
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/how-sterile-are-your-dentists-tools.html
The second letter, from "Evil Stepmother", tells me that she and her husband want to dictate and control but they are NOT getting THEIR way. So now they want to threaten that if the grown daughter doesn't do what THEY want, they will pick up their marbles and go home! Yeah....right! Real mature! The GROWN DAUGHTER is getting married WHERE THE GROWN DAUGHTER LIVES! Sounds right to me!
The more I think about the second letter, the more it reminds me of a case I once saw on Judge Judy where a father attempted to sue his grown daughter for EVERY PENNY HE PAID IN CHILD SUPPORT because now HE wanted the money back! Judge Judy TORE HIM UP!!!!
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCQ6XfUmBk0
I wish I could get people at Voc. Rehab. to understand. Unfortunately, they just do NOT get it!
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Happy Spring to you, Bones...hope you're getting out to see the forsythia.
xxoo
Hops
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Happy Spring to you, Bones...hope you're getting out to see the forsythia.
xxoo
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
I managed to get outside to walk around before it got too cold again.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/4/3
I have some thoughts and will post them later.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/boss-demands-on-the-job-selfies.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/a-professional-pis-view-on-employee-theft-.html
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/04/dear_prudence_my_mother_in_law_found_out_my_baby_s_sex_against_my_wishes.html
This MIL sounds like an N and a b*tch from HELL!!!! I don't blame the letter writer for being angry and feeling violated!
I wouldn't permit that b*tch ANYWHERE NEAR FOR YEARS!!!!!!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/4/4
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/combat-parental-alienation-with-a-lawyer.html
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Yesterday would have been the 82nd birthday of my Japanese friend. She died the same day as the three Apollo astronauts, January 1967. I really miss her. So many memories such as her letting me wear her kimono when I was a little kid. When we first met, one of the most popular songs playing on the radio was a Japanese song by Kyu Sakamoto.
Today, as I was walking through a local festival, what do I hear playing on someone's boombox? That same song by the same singer, Kyu Sakamoto!!!! It felt like my Japanese friend was saying Hello" from heaven! I almost lost it!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0U2nBre-JEU
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Having nightmares.
-
I loved the graceful odd moment about your Japanese friend...
maybe you were getting some love in some way from her, Bones.
And I hope the bad dreams pass through and are GONE soon.
(Just the subconscious doing its release-valve thing. But so
disturbing when it happens...)
Peaceful sleep to you tonight.
xo
Hops
-
I loved the graceful odd moment about your Japanese friend...
maybe you were getting some love in some way from her, Bones.
And I hope the bad dreams pass through and are GONE soon.
(Just the subconscious doing its release-valve thing. But so
disturbing when it happens...)
Peaceful sleep to you tonight.
xo
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
I'd like to think that, in some way, my Japanese friend was sending me love. She was the mother I wish I had.
I think it's going to take awhile before the bad dreams clear out.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/parents-reject-son-for-becoming-daughter.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/4/7
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/04/dear_prudence_my_wealthy_biological_father_s_will_barely_mentions_me.html
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/04/dear_prudence_my_second_wife_says_she_doesn_t_love_my_children.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/4/8
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/under-the-boot-of-the-missus.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/gearing-up-for-global-youth-service-day.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/4/9
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/4/10
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/boss-hires-young-bartender-as-office-worker.html
One word: "EW!"
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/hell-bent-on-helping-horace.html
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/04/dear_prudence_my_fianc_e_has_never_seen_me_naked.html
-
Just checking in.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/4/12
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Just checking in.
Hope you're doing okay, Bonesie ((((((((((((((((((((((((Bones))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/4/12
The letter about the service dog really bugged me. There seems to be a lack of privacy where disability is concerned. I can understand that a person can be curious about something that is in some way unusual for them to see. But surely they should also have the sense and good manners to know that their curiosity shouldn't take priority over the other person's privacy and their right to get on with their day as they see fit.
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/4/12
The letter about the service dog really bugged me. There seems to be a lack of privacy where disability is concerned. I can understand that a person can be curious about something that is in some way unusual for them to see. But surely they should also have the sense and good manners to know that their curiosity shouldn't take priority over the other person's privacy and their right to get on with their day as they see fit.
I agree! There have been times where I've encountered idiots who did not respect boundaries. One day, I was riding the subway with a fellow classmate, who happens to be Deaf-blind and we were conversing in Sign Language. Without warning, some total strangers invaded our space, stuck their fingers in our ears and started praying at the top of their lungs. I went off! They tried to justify their actions by quoting Bible verses at me and I quoted a Bible verse back at them about they NEED TO ASK PERMISSION FIRST! If I had REALLY lost my temper, I could have done some physical damage! GRRRRRR!!!!!
-
Having trouble sleeping.
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/4/14
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/oh-yeah-hes-free--freeloading.html
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/04/dear_prudence_my_boyfriend_gave_me_a_tooth_for_our_anniversary.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/bisexuality-is-not-a-trip-to-disneyland.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/4/15
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/04/dear_prudence_i_want_my_husband_to_take_charge_during_sex.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/4/16
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/protect-your-assets.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/what-happens-in-the-massage-parlor-doesnt-always-stay-in-the-massage-parlor.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/4/17
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/04/dear_prudence_we_can_t_afford_our_son_s_tuition_for_a_private_college.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/when-bosses-fight-for-power-employees-lose.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/4/18
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/parenting-fail.html
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Dear Bones,
I hope you're getting out and being blown away by some flowers.
Bones in the Flowers.
Flowerbones.
hugs
Hops
-
Dear Bones,
I hope you're getting out and being blown away by some flowers.
Bones in the Flowers.
Flowerbones.
hugs
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
I did manage to get out and about when the weather warmed up. Then the landscapers came through, doing a massive amount of work, kicking up pollen and stuff like nobody's business, and now I'm dealing with a bout of asthma. NUTS!!!!!! :P
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/4/12
The letter about the service dog really bugged me. There seems to be a lack of privacy where disability is concerned. I can understand that a person can be curious about something that is in some way unusual for them to see. But surely they should also have the sense and good manners to know that their curiosity shouldn't take priority over the other person's privacy and their right to get on with their day as they see fit.
I agree! There have been times where I've encountered idiots who did not respect boundaries. One day, I was riding the subway with a fellow classmate, who happens to be Deaf-blind and we were conversing in Sign Language. Without warning, some total strangers invaded our space, stuck their fingers in our ears and started praying at the top of their lungs. I went off! They tried to justify their actions by quoting Bible verses at me and I quoted a Bible verse back at them about they NEED TO ASK PERMISSION FIRST! If I had REALLY lost my temper, I could have done some physical damage! GRRRRRR!!!!!
Wow, Bonesie, that is truly shocking behaviour. What is it with some people??!! It takes so little effort to just be polite (or to just keep your mouth shut if that's easier!).
I hope you're sleeping better now ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/4/12
The letter about the service dog really bugged me. There seems to be a lack of privacy where disability is concerned. I can understand that a person can be curious about something that is in some way unusual for them to see. But surely they should also have the sense and good manners to know that their curiosity shouldn't take priority over the other person's privacy and their right to get on with their day as they see fit.
I agree! There have been times where I've encountered idiots who did not respect boundaries. One day, I was riding the subway with a fellow classmate, who happens to be Deaf-blind and we were conversing in Sign Language. Without warning, some total strangers invaded our space, stuck their fingers in our ears and started praying at the top of their lungs. I went off! They tried to justify their actions by quoting Bible verses at me and I quoted a Bible verse back at them about they NEED TO ASK PERMISSION FIRST! If I had REALLY lost my temper, I could have done some physical damage! GRRRRRR!!!!!
Wow, Bonesie, that is truly shocking behaviour. What is it with some people??!! It takes so little effort to just be polite (or to just keep your mouth shut if that's easier!).
I hope you're sleeping better now ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Thanks, Tupp.
I wish I could understand why some people act so stupid. It just FROSTS me when they attempt to quote the Bible as an excuse for outrageous behavior. *Shaking my head*
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/4/19
-
Just got word this morning that a friend of mine is dealing with loss. I've been aware, for years, that her birth-unit was an N, and a vicious one at that. I won't go into the crap that the N had pulled over the years. As of 1:10 AM, this morning, the N has died. My friend won't have to deal with her N-crap anymore. Dealing with the death is another matter, as I know all too painfully well.
-
:)
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/4/21
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/witness-to-a-friends-abusive-marriage.html
-
:)
?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
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My guess is that smiley was because of your wit, Miz B ("birth-unit" is a good one!).
Lotta ups and downs in that post and I guess that's natural.
Sorry for her loss, glad for your insight, and sorry you also know the confusing
grief + relief that's possible about Ns' deaths (and legacies).
xo
Hops
-
My guess is that smiley was because of your wit, Miz B ("birth-unit" is a good one!).
Lotta ups and downs in that post and I guess that's natural.
Sorry for her loss, glad for your insight, and sorry you also know the confusing
grief + relief that's possible about Ns' deaths (and legacies).
xo
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/04/dear_prudence_my_husband_demands_a_paternity_test_for_no_good_reason.html
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/04/dear_prudence_my_boyfriend_s_parents_planned_a_wedding_for_us_against_our.html
Talk about violating boundaries!!!! :shock:
-
Seriously.
a
maaa
zing
-
Seriously.
a
maaa
zing
Yeah.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/too-old-to-be-sleeping-with-grandma.html
Reading the letter about the child with autism, and the nastiness that the child and his family has been subjected to, reminds me of a situation that occurred in a restaurant. A waiter was working in his section and his customers included a family with a Down's Syndrome child sitting at one table and another table had his regular customers. The Down's Syndrome child was being happy, as any child has a right to be, and one of the waiter's regular customers commented to the waiter that this "special needs kid" needed to be "special" somewhere else because he didn't want to see something like that out in public. The waiter looked his regular customer in the eye and informed him that he could no longer provide them any service, then walked away. I was glad that waiter stood up for that child.
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/4/23/married-couples-sex-life-has-become
Regarding Grandma planning on telling her 18-year-old granddaughter her opinions ... I have one comment to say to Grandma .... "Shut the HELL up! It's NONE of YOUR business!!!! She's EIGHTEEN YEARS OLD! She is LEGALLY AN ADULT! If you attempt to force your orders down her throat regarding who she should be allowed to date .... YOU WILL LOSE!!!! Your nose ENDS where her business begins! BACK OFF!!! BUTT OUT!!! SHUT UP!!!"
I've known a Grandma Busybody like that and, in the end, she lost EVERYTHING because she REFUSED to respect ANYONE'S BOUNDARIES!
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/04/dear_prudence_we_stopped_the_class_prayer_in_our_child_s_school_and_the.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/how-to-handle-workplace-violence.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/living-with-a-fair-weather-father-figure.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/youre-bffs-till-youre-not.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/4/24/parents-are-appalled-by-mans-indifference
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/4/25/childhood-abuse-victim-finds-love-in
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/the-politics-of-no-more-sex.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/4/26/funeral-plants-and-flowers-should-be
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/4/27/medications-left-at-home-cause-vacation
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/the-christianpagan-divide.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/practicing-guilt-parenting.html
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/04/dear_prudence_my_wife_walks_around_naked_before_work_because_she_gets_too.html
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/04/dear_prudence_i_sold_my_mother_in_law_s_jewelry_that_she_gave_me_oops.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/4/29/photo-happy-grandparents-need-to-change-their
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/does-living-apart-mean-breaking-apart.html
-
Feeling VERY IRRITATED right now!
I've been advertising my home-based business for over four years now, in trying to supplement my pension. I just posted again about my availability to assist people and, once again, I get an IDIOT asking if I can provide my services to her FOR FREE!!!!!! She's known that this is MY BUSINESS FOR OVER FOUR YEARS!!!! If she thinks it's a joke, it's NOT funny!!!!! The overhead that I have to deal with is NOT FREE! I HAVE BILLS TO PAY!!!!! WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/why-does-no-one-think-this-woman-should-have-money.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/4/30/boyfriends-other-woman-is-permanently-attached
-
:)
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/5/1/couples-find-common-ground-on-different
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/office-abuzz-about-worker-fired-for-stealing.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/widow-dating-almost-divorced-man-against-daughters-wishes.html
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/04/dear_prudence_my_childhood_abuser_now_has_a_family_should_i_go_to_the_police.html
TRIGGER WARNING!!!!
-
Feeling VERY IRRITATED right now!
I've been advertising my home-based business for over four years now, in trying to supplement my pension. I just posted again about my availability to assist people and, once again, I get an IDIOT asking if I can provide my services to her FOR FREE!!!!!! She's known that this is MY BUSINESS FOR OVER FOUR YEARS!!!! If she thinks it's a joke, it's NOT funny!!!!! The overhead that I have to deal with is NOT FREE! I HAVE BILLS TO PAY!!!!! WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Some people just scam anything they can, Bonesie, I'm hoping you dealt with her well enough that she won't ask again :)
-
Feeling VERY IRRITATED right now!
I've been advertising my home-based business for over four years now, in trying to supplement my pension. I just posted again about my availability to assist people and, once again, I get an IDIOT asking if I can provide my services to her FOR FREE!!!!!! She's known that this is MY BUSINESS FOR OVER FOUR YEARS!!!! If she thinks it's a joke, it's NOT funny!!!!! The overhead that I have to deal with is NOT FREE! I HAVE BILLS TO PAY!!!!! WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Some people just scam anything they can, Bonesie, I'm hoping you dealt with her well enough that she won't ask again :)
Thanks, Tupp.
I informed her that where I need to go, to do the work, does NOT provide free parking nor free anything else. She got the message.
-
I received a brochure titled: "Antisocials, Borderlines, Narcissists and Histrionics - Effective Treatment for Cluster B Personality Disorders". My thoughts regarding the licensed professionals trying to tackle this? Good luck with THAT! You're gonna need it!
-
:) Hi Bones
-
:) Hi Bones
Hello.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/homeless-tom-cant-hold-a-job.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/5/2/kids-are-collateral-damage-in-wifes
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/5/3/baby-daddys-new-girlfriend-takes-on-a
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/the-one-restaurant-in-town-has-unhygienic-help.html
EWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!! :P
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/forever-a-felon.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/5/4/man-has-spot-in-his-heart
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/5/5/beach-bully-kicks-sand-in-friends
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/dealing-with-debbie-downer.html
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/05/dear_prudence_a_co_worker_is_stealing_my_used_gym_underwear.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/thief----or-wrongly-accused.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/5/6/gift-packaging-promises-more-than-it
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/05/dear_prudence_our_young_neighbors_may_be_open_to_swinging_should_we_bring.html
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The letter about the future MIL has me shaking my head. The future MIL sounds like an N.
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/05/dear_prudence_mother_s_day_dilemmas_the_mother_figure_who_helped_raise_me.html
I'm sensing triggers here...................
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/5/8/sleeve-tattoo-could-raise-eyebrows-at
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/worker-wants-to-change-narcissistic-boss.html
HUGE TRIGGERS!!!!! :P
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/bad-grandparents.html
And more possible triggers.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/its-a-little-late-to-wonder-about-pete.html
After FORTY YEARS, why is it anyone's business?
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/5/9/husbands-absence-gives-wife-a-taste
This article may contain triggers.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/divorced-but-not-separated.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/5/10/teenagers-low-self-esteem-drags-her-boyfriend
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Having trouble sleeping again.......
-
I managed to drop off to sleep for a couple of hours when the phone rings at 6:30 AM! :shock: Because I'm part of an emergency team, I immediately think there's an emergency somewhere that my team is being deployed to. Instead, I hear: "Happy Mother's Day!" I mumble: "Who am I talking to?" That's when the caller realized that he called the WRONG number! OOPS!
I HATE reminders of Mother's Day! :P
-
I managed to drop off to sleep for a couple of hours when the phone rings at 6:30 AM! :shock: Because I'm part of an emergency team, I immediately think there's an emergency somewhere that my team is being deployed to. Instead, I hear: "Happy Mother's Day!" I mumble: "Who am I talking to?" That's when the caller realized that he called the WRONG number! OOPS!
I HATE reminders of Mother's Day! :P
Oh no, Bones! What a wake up call :( And so early as well, not a great start to the day. Hope things get better xx
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I managed to drop off to sleep for a couple of hours when the phone rings at 6:30 AM! :shock: Because I'm part of an emergency team, I immediately think there's an emergency somewhere that my team is being deployed to. Instead, I hear: "Happy Mother's Day!" I mumble: "Who am I talking to?" That's when the caller realized that he called the WRONG number! OOPS!
I HATE reminders of Mother's Day! :P
Oh no, Bones! What a wake up call :( And so early as well, not a great start to the day. Hope things get better xx
I've been trying to have a better day. There's a festival going on this weekend and I managed to participate in the drummers' portion of it. At least that was fun in spite of everything else.
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At the festival, I had to set some boundaries. Ironically, this dude dressed down someone else for suggesting that he loan out his instruments to total strangers. But when he turned around and attempted to offer MY equipment to these same total strangers, I politely reminded him that if he don't own it, he has NO right to offer it to others. My stuff is MY STUFF!!! Sheesh!!!!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/5/12/forecast-is-cloudy-for-man-whose
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/three-teens-and-a-broke-granny.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/05/dear_prudence_my_parents_think_i_m_a_failure_even_though_i_m_happy.html
Possible triggers.....
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/unequal-players-in-a-tenuous-marriage.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/05/dear_prudence_i_talk_to_myself_so_what_but_my_boyfriend_thinks_i_m_nuts.html
I think boyfriend needs to shut up or leave!
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/jane-doesnt-want-to-hear-it.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/making-oneself-part-of-the-group-at-work.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/on-the-fence-about-the-family-reunion.html
I don't think the advice columnists get it. :P
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/5/15/wife-disapproves-when-man-tries-to
This "wife" sounds like an N who believes everything MUST REVOLVE AROUND HER!
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/05/dear_prudence_i_made_my_teacher_lose_her_job_by_saying_she_hurt_me.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/5/16/exercise-floor-show-detracts-from-visits
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/a-safe-place-for-kallie.html
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In spite of getting the Flu shot, I feel like I've caught the Flu anyway.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/dealing-with-anxiety.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/5/17/being-boys-second-choice-diminishes-proms
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Ever had one of those days where, no matter what you're doing, it feels as if you're invisible?
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/5/18/online-party-invitations-include-too-much
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/its-not-enough-that-shes-not-an-addict.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/living-with-lenny.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/5/19/husband-thinks-less-is-more-when
May have triggers.
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I'm sorry you're feeling invisible, Bones.
I'm waving, hopping up and down, holding a big gorgeous iris for you...
got a jelly jar to put it in?
love,
Hops
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I'm sorry you're feeling invisible, Bones.
I'm waving, hopping up and down, holding a big gorgeous iris for you...
got a jelly jar to put it in?
love,
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
In 3-D situations, I feel invisible. This past weekend, I was working in the community garden and I was given the task to cut some bamboo into specific lengths. As I'm sawing away, people kept stepping into the path of the saw as if I wasn't even there! I couldn't figure out what in the hell was going on!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/5/20/guest-marks-his-territory-but-in
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/this-pushovers-ready-to-push-back.html
Possible triggers.
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/05/dear_prudence_my_brother_in_law_hit_on_me_should_i_tell_someone.html
Possible triggers.
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Some people are such beautiful parts of nature
that they just seem to be there the way a beautiful
tree or shrub is--and other people are just often
kind of clumsy and unseeing.
Nature has so many variations, and so much
diversity and contrast and surprises...and then
human culture is all about McDonaldsizing everyone
until we all look like styrofoam.
You, Bones, ain't no styrofoam.
love to you,
Hops
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/05/dear_prudence_my_daughter_mistook_my_having_sex_with_violence.html
More possible triggers.
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Some people are such beautiful parts of nature
that they just seem to be there the way a beautiful
tree or shrub is--and other people are just often
kind of clumsy and unseeing.
Nature has so many variations, and so much
diversity and contrast and surprises...and then
human culture is all about McDonaldsizing everyone
until we all look like styrofoam.
You, Bones, ain't no styrofoam.
love to you,
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
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I thought I was the only one terrified of going near 3-D people for any kind of relationships. I guess I'm not alone in that department.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/serial-party-pooper.html
This sounds like the sister is an N!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/5/21/childhood-sexual-abuse-still-haunts-adult
HUGE Trigger Warnings!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/5/22/middle-aged-homebodys-future-is-a-serious
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/networking-not-working.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/closed-grannys-free-drive-thru-babysitting-service.html
Possible triggers.
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/05/dear_prudence_i_ve_never_had_an_orgasm.2.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/frustrated-with-poor-management.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/5/23/hardworking-couple-reluctant-to-help-freeloading
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/friendship-means-never-having-to-say-im-moving.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/he-wants-her-back----but-why.html
The second letter brings up memories of greedy vultures who resented ANY expenditures toward nursing care or funeral because THEY felt they were ENTITLED to that money FIRST! :P
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Woke up from nightmare.
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(((((Bones))))
When you have bad dreams,
can you go outside asap and find a quiet spot,
where birds can be heard in the bushes and
you can just feel gentle sun and air?
It helps me, to reconnect with nature,
remind myself I'm not alone, I'm part of
everything--including spring.
love
Hops
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(((((Bones))))
When you have bad dreams,
can you go outside asap and find a quiet spot,
where birds can be heard in the bushes and
you can just feel gentle sun and air?
It helps me, to reconnect with nature,
remind myself I'm not alone, I'm part of
everything--including spring.
love
Hops
Thanks, ((((((((((((((((((Hops))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
When it's midnight, kind of hard to do that.
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I get you!
I meant the next morning...
But who knows? Might even help to step outside onto some quiet green space,
even if it's just a patch of grass, in the middle of the night. Reconnect. The
night air will be there with its different feel and motion, the occasional
night bird, and always, always, the sky....
xxoo
Hops
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I get you!
I meant the next morning...
But who knows? Might even help to step outside onto some quiet green space,
even if it's just a patch of grass, in the middle of the night. Reconnect. The
night air will be there with its different feel and motion, the occasional
night bird, and always, always, the sky....
xxoo
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
xxoo
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/displaced-dad.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/5/27/womans-hiv-status-casts-shadow-on
BTW, in a previous "Dear Abby", within the last couple of days, a teacher wrote in about being given food that her family is severely allergic to. I've noticed that since the advice column has been re-formatted, people can now post responses to the letters. One "respondent" proceeded to denigrate anyone with an allergy as "weird", "freak", and "weak". I hope Instant Karma gets him!
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/05/dear_prudence_choosing_between_a_job_and_a_man_has_never_been_so_hard.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/05/dear_prudence_my_husband_tried_to_secretly_film_a_19_year_old_staying_with.html
Possible triggers.
Regarding the Question about the "Stingy Socialite", that reminded me of someone who attempted to play "Dine and Dash".
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Checking in.
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Is it just me or are Narcissists out of control CRAZY?!?!?!?!?
Just read about some fool who attacked Brad Pitt and the fool as a track record of STUPIDITY!!!!!!
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Ever had one of those days where, no matter what you're doing, it feels as if you're invisible?
This also seems to extend to when I have already said "NO" to something and they go ahead anyway as if I haven't said a word! WTF?!?!?!?!?
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/05/dear_prudence_confessions_of_a_sociopathic_dater.html
Possible triggers.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/hosed-by-her-daughter.html
"Emma" sounds like an N!!!!!
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Ever had one of those days where, no matter what you're doing, it feels as if you're invisible?
This also seems to extend to when I have already said "NO" to something and they go ahead anyway as if I haven't said a word! WTF?!?!?!?!?
Hope you aren't having to deal with people who don't hear 'no' today, Bonesie (((((((((((((((((((((((((Bones))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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Ever had one of those days where, no matter what you're doing, it feels as if you're invisible?
This also seems to extend to when I have already said "NO" to something and they go ahead anyway as if I haven't said a word! WTF?!?!?!?!?
Hope you aren't having to deal with people who don't hear 'no' today, Bonesie (((((((((((((((((((((((((Bones))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Thanks, (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Tupp))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))). It's so aggravating when it happens.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/ignore-strategize-or-quit-people-dont-change-.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/5/31/refusal-to-drink-makes-woman-feel
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/6/1/nonbelievers-walk-fine-line-with-religious
Potential triggers.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/undermining-the-wife-for-the-ex-wife.html
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How are you doing, Bones?
Anything beautiful blooming near you?
hugs
Hops
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How are you doing, Bones?
Anything beautiful blooming near you?
hugs
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
I've had to stay indoors for the past couple of days because the landscapers have been kicking up so much crap that my asthma has been triggered. Not fun!
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I just realized that today, June 1, 2014, it's been THIRTY YEARS since the movie Star Trek III: The Search for Spock premiered!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2MYRKXX8S_0
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/some-evidence-shouldnt-be-shared.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/6/2/wife-has-much-to-consider-before
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/06/dear_prudence_my_husband_hates_sleeping_over_at_other_homes.html
The "Disappointed Mother" sounds like an N!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/6/3/think-twice-before-confronting-drivers-in
Would you believe there are some idiots who believe that "disability is a choice"? WTF?!?!?!?!?!?
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/06/dear_prudence_i_discovered_my_daughter_pleasuring_herself_with_a_hand_mixer.html
OOPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :oops:
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/6/3/think-twice-before-confronting-drivers-in
Would you believe there are some idiots who believe that "disability is a choice"? WTF?!?!?!?!?!?
Aah so true Bonesie, there's been an horrific media assualt on disabled people in the UK over the last four years with some papers trying to convince the public at large that most on disability benefits are lazy scroungers who are faking it. There's been a big rise in disability hate crime because of it and it isn't just invisible disabilities that are being targetted - there was a situation a few years ago when a man in a wheelchair was at a protest over cuts to student funding and the police tipped him out of his wheelchair so he couldn't get back onto the demo line. We get some really nasty comments sometimes about how 'easy' our life is; some people just have no idea!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/6/3/think-twice-before-confronting-drivers-in
Would you believe there are some idiots who believe that "disability is a choice"? WTF?!?!?!?!?!?
Aah so true Bonesie, there's been an horrific media assualt on disabled people in the UK over the last four years with some papers trying to convince the public at large that most on disability benefits are lazy scroungers who are faking it. There's been a big rise in disability hate crime because of it and it isn't just invisible disabilities that are being targetted - there was a situation a few years ago when a man in a wheelchair was at a protest over cuts to student funding and the police tipped him out of his wheelchair so he couldn't get back onto the demo line. We get some really nasty comments sometimes about how 'easy' our life is; some people just have no idea!
Temporarily-abled-bodied idiots REALLY PISS ME OFF!!!!!!!
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/reluctant-referrer.html
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DOFHi7SRMoU
I need to focus on something fun today, like the Anniversary of Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. People in 3-D are plucking my last nerve, knocking me over and acting as if I'm not standing in front of them! :?
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/no-more-norma.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/6/5/husbands-betrayal-puts-his-wifes-health
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/bring-your-dog-to-work-day-not-crazy.html
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/06/dear_prudence_i_was_obsessed_with_a_young_woman_i_mentored.html
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Checking in.
-
Morning, Bones--
I hope you'll have a good weekend, and
maybe some chance for nature/beauty/art, etc...
hugs
Hops
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Morning, Bones--
I hope you'll have a good weekend, and
maybe some chance for nature/beauty/art, etc...
hugs
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
hugs
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/6/7/freeloader-may-have-to-pay-the
I've known someone like this and now she doesn't get invited anywhere with anyone anymore.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/6/7/freeloader-may-have-to-pay-the
I've known someone like this and now she doesn't get invited anywhere with anyone anymore.
Ah it used to be like this with my sister! We'd arrange to do things and she'd always turn up with no money, or she'd be wearing the wrong clothes for a walk in the woods and borrow my boots etc. I used to feel like I was being done over every time! My T gave exactly the same advice as they do in this article - just say, oh that's a shame, and carry on as if nothing's happened. The next time we were meeting up we were going for a walk in the woods. It was fairly cold and had been raining - and she turned up with no coat and wearing ballet pumps. I thought my head was going to explode from not saying anything, I felt awful as it was just so not like me but we went to the woods and she was blue by the time we got back to the car. I can't say it worked, mind you, she's still like it, we just don't see much of each other anymore :(
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/6/7/freeloader-may-have-to-pay-the
I've known someone like this and now she doesn't get invited anywhere with anyone anymore.
Ah it used to be like this with my sister! We'd arrange to do things and she'd always turn up with no money, or she'd be wearing the wrong clothes for a walk in the woods and borrow my boots etc. I used to feel like I was being done over every time! My T gave exactly the same advice as they do in this article - just say, oh that's a shame, and carry on as if nothing's happened. The next time we were meeting up we were going for a walk in the woods. It was fairly cold and had been raining - and she turned up with no coat and wearing ballet pumps. I thought my head was going to explode from not saying anything, I felt awful as it was just so not like me but we went to the woods and she was blue by the time we got back to the car. I can't say it worked, mind you, she's still like it, we just don't see much of each other anymore :(
I understand how that is.
The situation I encountered was as a member of a club that went out to eat at a local restaurant. The freeloader, that showed up, had not paid her club dues for a long time so she was dropped from the mailing list. (Postage costs money and the United States Postal Service is not going to process mail without postage.) Well, she had been a member of the club long enough to know our habits and she turned up at one of our meetings unannounced and uninvited. We didn't object because we were meeting in a public restaurant and anyone is permitted to dine there. When she ordered the most expensive meal on the menu, we didn't think anything of it because, again, anyone is permitted to dine at this restaurant and order anything they want. After the meal, and just as the club meeting was about to start, she announced that she had another commitment and had to leave. We thought, and even said, "Okay, see you later." and proceeded with our meeting. We were given the understanding that she was settling her tab with our waitress on the way out the door. Other members had done that when they had to leave early for whatever reasons. (I've had to do that at least once when something came up and I needed to leave. I found the waitress and paid my tab before heading out the door at that previous time.)
Well, when it was time to pay for our meal at the end of the evening, we discovered that Ms. Freeloader had pulled a "Dine and Dash" WITHOUT PAYING and STUCK US WITH HER EXPENSIVE MEAL! We were PISSED OFF! The second time she turned up, we thought we were ready for her and arranged with the waitress to have SEPARATE checks instead of the prior arrangement that we had done for years. Once again, Ms. Freeloader ordered the most expensive meal on the menu. When she finished eating, she excused herself with an announcement that she had to visit the Ladies Room. (Each of us have had to visit those facilities ourselves so......) When she didn't return from the bathroom, I and another female club member went looking for her, thinking she had become ill. We found the bathroom EMPTY! Ms. Freeloader had pulled ANOTHER DINE AND DASH!!! Not only had she ripped us off TWICE, now she was adding LYING to her routine and WE WERE EVEN MORE PISSED OFF!!!
Several months later, she had the AUDACITY to show up a THIRD TIME, order the most expensive meal on the menu, and when it came time to settle up the dinner tab, she attempted to sidle her way out the door WITHOUT PAYING. We BLOCKED the door and CONFRONTED her! She tried to get us to feel sorry for her BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T BRING ANY MONEY WITH HER! (Sorry, Charlie! Too little, too late and that bridge is BURNED TO A CRISP!) When she couldn't appeal to the club, as a whole, to pay for her dinner (again), she attempted to corner me with guilt trips and promises to reimburse me if I paid for her dinner. I looked her square in the face and told her point blank: "Hell NO! You've made NO effort to reimburse the club the FIRST time you stiffed us! You've made NO effort to reimburse the club after the SECOND time you stiffed us plus YOU LIED TO US when you showed up that second time! And you have the BLOODY NERVE to expect me to believe your empty, LYING promises NOW?!?! THAT BRIDGE IS GONE!" She was in total panic mode by this point and was whining, "What do I do?!?!? I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY!" I suggested she talk with the restaurant staff about washing their dishes and I left.
Fast forward a few years.....after I retired. I'm sitting in a different restaurant, close to home, using their Wi-Fi and having a small meal when who walks in the door? Ms. Freeloader!!!!!! She sees me and plops her butt down at my table even though I did NOT invite her! In fact, I had IGNORED her as soon as I realized it was HER! She sat at my table, anyway, and proceeded to give me not so subtle hints that she was hungry but didn't have any money! I responded: "Too bad." and continued eating and working on my laptop. Then she asked if she could "sample" what was on my plate! (WTF?!?!? WHAT NERVE!) I responded: "HELL, NO!" Then she started whining about how the club doesn't send her any mailings anymore. I asked her if she had resumed paying her dues, telling her bluntly that once you pay your dues, your name will be put back on the mailing list. Her response: "But.... I am a FOUNDING MOTHER! I should NOT have to pay anything! I'm ENTITLED!" I pointed out to her that I am also a FOUNDING MEMBER of the club, and I continue to PAY dues so I can continue receiving the mailings! I also explained, IN DETAIL, about how the United States Postal Service works in delivering the mail and WHY they have to get PAID too! I told her that I don't appreciate her attempts to screw over ANYONE like that, ESPECIALLY after what she pulled at the other restaurant! She got the message that nobody likes a mooch and she left! I haven't seen nor heard from her since. What is WRONG with people?!?!?!?!? GEEZ!!!
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/all-sister-approved-blood-relatives-in-the-family.html
-
I remember, when I was in grade school, many, many, moons ago, studying about the Scopes Monkey Trial and all the debates that went on back then regarding science, Darwin, etc. Yesterday, I discover that someone posted a l-o-n-g screed on my Facebook wall ranting against science, Bill Nye the Science Guy, and Neil deGrasse Tyson while decreeing Creationism is superior to science and that science is WRONG! I didn't bother to respond to the screed. At this point, my attitude is you can post whatever you believe on YOUR OWN WALL, but DON'T clutter my wall with delusional, self-righteous, climate-denying nonsense. It's the same as visiting my home and then spray painting nonsense on my home's walls or insulting and attempting to fight my other visiting guests in MY house! I had posted warnings before about MY HOUSE, MY RULES. I enforced those rules by deleting the screed. If she posts her screed again, then both the screed and she will be removed.
What is WRONG with people?!?!?!?!?
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/living-with-an-alcoholic-father.html
The advice columnists blew it....again.
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/6/9/siblings-are-growling-over-cat-sitting-charges
This brother has a boatload of NERVE!!!! Sheesh!!!
-
Checking in......
-
Checking in..........
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/knowing-oneself-allows-for-wiser-career-choices.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/6/12/neighbor-reaching-out-for-relief-should
YIKES!!!!!! :shock:
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/you-might-get-your-money-back-in-small-claims-court----but-itll-cost-you.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/06/dear_prudence_my_stepfather_lied_about_serving_in_vietnam.html
-
While watching the YouTube video Ted Talk about the Hyperbolic Crochet Coral Reef Project, I learned about a new concept. Instead of a Think Tank, what about a Play Tank?
-
Checking in.
-
Unable to sleep.
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/6/14/twos-a-crowd-in-bedroom-shared
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Just checking in.............
-
Hope you start to sleep better soon, Bones xx
-
Hope you start to sleep better soon, Bones xx
Thanks, Tupp. xx
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For anyone who remembers the Original Star Trek episode, "Mirror, Mirror" ... here is a sequel:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJf2ovQtI6w
The Imperial Captain Kirk comes off as a Narcissist. Fascinating!
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I thought I would try to make Father's Day fun for a change and sent a "Happy Father's Day, Grandpa Spock" to my favorite Vulcan. It seems to help.
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/6/16/having-a-baby-wont-fix-fighting
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/grieving-the-giving-of-a-child.html
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/06/dear_prudence_my_sister_in_law_won_t_adopt_a_developmentally_disabled_child.2.html
-
Checking in.....
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/06/dear_prudence_my_late_husband_left_sperm_in_a_fertility_clinic_should_i.html
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For anyone who remembers the Original Star Trek episode, "Mirror, Mirror" ... here is a sequel:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJf2ovQtI6w
The Imperial Captain Kirk comes off as a Narcissist. Fascinating!
What do you think about the N's getting their Come-uppance's in this episode? I LOVE Spock's comment!
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I can't remember if Kirk was always arrogant, or if that crept up on him with time.
Enlighten me, Bones?
hugs
Hops
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I can't remember if Kirk was always arrogant, or if that crept up on him with time.
Enlighten me, Bones?
hugs
Hops
Hi, Hops.
In the Mirror Universe, Kirk was an arrogant, self-centered tyrant. Let me find the original TOS episode, "Mirror, Mirror", and give you the link. That might help you understand the two episodes better.
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For anyone who remembers the Original Star Trek episode, "Mirror, Mirror" ... here is a sequel:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJf2ovQtI6w
The Imperial Captain Kirk comes off as a Narcissist. Fascinating!
What do you think about the N's getting their Come-uppance's in this episode? I LOVE Spock's comment!
Here's the link to "Mirror, Mirror", which inspired "The Fairest of Them All".
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWbSXjZlZ7U
BTW, while I was watching "The Fairest of Them All", I noticed a mirror PROMINENTLY displayed in the Imperial Kirk's quarters. I wouldn't have been surprised if the Imperial Kirk, in the Mirror Universe, worshiped himself there.
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Thanks, sweet Bones.
Not sure I'll go all the way down the Trekkie rabbit hole,
but I'm glad to have my memory refreshed.
You stay cool today, cool Bones...
hugs
Hops
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Thanks, sweet Bones.
Not sure I'll go all the way down the Trekkie rabbit hole,
but I'm glad to have my memory refreshed.
You stay cool today, cool Bones...
hugs
Hops
You're welcome, Hops.
After watching "Fairest of Them All", I thought of a science fiction story idea which scares me! I think I might be onto something that I need to write.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/smart-way-to-change-careers-change-locations.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/that-cheating-heart.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/6/19/early-cancer-detection-could-have-saved
TRIGGER WARNING!!!!!!
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/06/dear_prudence_my_friend_is_in_250_000_of_debt_but_won_t_tell_her_fianc.html
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Having trouble sleeping.....
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I've been trying to work on some creative writing in spite of neighbors banging on my door. It's frustrating to get a good train of thought going and then suddenly hearing my neighbor at my door .... again! GRRRR!!!!!!
Adding to the frustration while trying to focus on solving a problem and working on a train of thought ......
Neighbor pounds on door and there goes the train of thought, out the window!
I answer the door and get greeted with:
"Whatcha doin'?"
"I'm working on trying to solve something and get it written down."
"Oh. Then you're not working on anything important. Here's what I want ....."
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/6/21/sex-isnt-part-of-husbands-hour-long
Sheesh!!!!
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/little-boys-versus-landscaping.html
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It seems the older I get, the more N-Idiots pluck my last nerve! Last night, at a Star Trek fan club meeting, we were discussing the scheduled appearance of Leonard Nimoy via Skype at the upcoming convention on Sunday. Since Mr. Nimoy will be home in Los Angeles during the Skype, I'm presuming that his appearance will take place on Sunday afternoon, East Coast time. The president of our club, who is an N, kept complaining about Mr. Nimoy's schedule and kept whining about "why can't he appear Friday evening or some time on Saturday?" I pointed out to the N that beginning at sundown Friday evening until sundown on Saturday is SHABBAT ... Mr. Nimoy's SABBATH and that he is OBSERVANT of that SABBATH! The N kept complaining that Mr. Nimoy's schedule was still "inconvenient". I was grinding my teeth and counting long under my breath to fight the urge to go off on the fool! :P
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/when-weddings-and-religion-dont-mix.html
Shaking my head!
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It seems the older I get, the more N-Idiots pluck my last nerve! Last night, at a Star Trek fan club meeting, we were discussing the scheduled appearance of Leonard Nimoy via Skype at the upcoming convention on Sunday. Since Mr. Nimoy will be home in Los Angeles during the Skype, I'm presuming that his appearance will take place on Sunday afternoon, East Coast time. The president of our club, who is an N, kept complaining about Mr. Nimoy's schedule and kept whining about "why can't he appear Friday evening or some time on Saturday?" I pointed out to the N that beginning at sundown Friday evening until sundown on Saturday is SHABBAT ... Mr. Nimoy's SABBATH and that he is OBSERVANT of that SABBATH! The N kept complaining that Mr. Nimoy's schedule was still "inconvenient". I was grinding my teeth and counting long under my breath to fight the urge to go off on the fool! :P
He was also whining about not being able to use his brother's car while his brother was out of town ... ignoring the fact that the LAST time he used his brother's car, he TRASHED it and stuck his brother with the expense of repairing what he TRASHED. And he wonders WHY his brother won't let him touch his car again? N-Idiot went so far as to BLAME THE CAR for the damage instead of looking at his own behaviors! (The brother has also gone incommunicado with N-Idiot which I don't think is a small coinky-dink!)
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/lay-off-the-3-year-olds-facebook-pics.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/6/24/bored-and-lonely-teen-should-find
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/06/dear_prudence_my_wife_is_threatening_to_sink_my_military_career.html
Trigger Warning!
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/06/dear_prudence_my_husband_called_me_an_8_is_he_trying_to_insult_me.html
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Being the designated "Family Scapegoat" is NOT fun! :P
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Trouble sleeping.......
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/06/dear_prudence_my_student_has_sex_with_professors_for_money_what_do_i_do.html
TRIGGER WARNING!!!!!
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The laptop is acting up. Looks like I'm going to have to replace it. The question is, what can I afford that is capable of doing what I need to have done plus handling a HUGE genealogy database?
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I hear you Bones. Mine died last week. Apple will fix it for $750. Thanks a lot. Now to figure out what I can get that can do what I need for as little as possible. I hear you.
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I hear you Bones. Mine died last week. Apple will fix it for $750. Thanks a lot. Now to figure out what I can get that can do what I need for as little as possible. I hear you.
Thanks, GS. It's hard to know what to do given the situation.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/self-appointed-boss-disliked-by-all.html
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I don't know Bones...a super-cheap laptop (whatever's one step better than
Chromebook) with an external hard drive?
That a possible solution?
love
Hops
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I don't know Bones...a super-cheap laptop (whatever's one step better than
Chromebook) with an external hard drive?
That a possible solution?
love
Hops
I already have an external hard drive. I've learned that I can't run any programs off of it. If the laptop doesn't have enough memory, then NOTHING runs.
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trouble sleeping....
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Recently, some friends and I have been talking about an old TV show that premiered at the end of June, 1966 ... Dark Shadows. I used to watch this show, after I came home from school, and it always kept me on the edge of my seat. One of my favorite characters on the show was Barnabas Collins, portrayed by Jonathan Frid. Out of curiosity, I searched YouTube and came across a video of Jonathan Frid at a Dark Shadows convention where he was talking about his mother, his birthday, and the telephone. From what I gathered, his mother was a DIFFICULT person to get along with, in fact, she sounded like an N! Mr. Frid managed to turn this into a comedy sketch and pulled it off! :lol: He had his audience cracking up!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=as2XWPXhpcY
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/could-hubby-be-a-pedophile.html
TRIGGER WARNING!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/6/29/mother-tells-sons-wife-to-get
WTF?!?!?!? :shock:
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/7/1/woman-who-doesnt-drink-is-weary
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/06/dear_prudence_my_husband_hasn_t_been_to_the_dentist_for_our_entire_marriage.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/06/dear_prudence_my_husband_hasn_t_been_to_the_dentist_for_our_entire_marriage.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/trouble-in-stolen-paradise.html
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I'm stepping outside of my comfort zone and learning to do something that I've never done before ... I'm learning to admin an on-line discussion group about science fiction and fantasy writing. The original admin was being overwhelmed by unwanted spamming and I asked if he needed help in dealing with it. In response, he gave me admin privileges and I've been basically acting as "Sargent at Arms", reminding the members of the rules and boundaries i.e. no self promotions, no book promotions, no hyping books by their friends, no spamming. I've been discussing the rules every morning every time new members are added to the group so that everyone is on the same page (pardon the pun). After all of that, one person not only posted a self-promotion, immediately under his self-promotion, he writes "I know this is in violation of the rules but ... look at me anyway!" I removed it and posted a warning that if he commits a second violation, he will be removed from the discussion group. I asked that he please respect the boundaries as written. I can't help but shake my head....
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I'm stepping outside of my comfort zone and learning to do something that I've never done before ... I'm learning to admin an on-line discussion group about science fiction and fantasy writing. The original admin was being overwhelmed by unwanted spamming and I asked if he needed help in dealing with it. In response, he gave me admin privileges and I've been basically acting as "Sargent at Arms", reminding the members of the rules and boundaries i.e. no self promotions, no book promotions, no hyping books by their friends, no spamming. I've been discussing the rules every morning every time new members are added to the group so that everyone is on the same page (pardon the pun). After all of that, one person not only posted a self-promotion, immediately under his self-promotion, he writes "I know this is in violation of the rules but ... look at me anyway!" I removed it and posted a warning that if he commits a second violation, he will be removed from the discussion group. I asked that he please respect the boundaries as written. I can't help but shake my head....
Hey, well done, Bonesie! That sounds great. And yep, there's always one!
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I'm stepping outside of my comfort zone and learning to do something that I've never done before ... I'm learning to admin an on-line discussion group about science fiction and fantasy writing. The original admin was being overwhelmed by unwanted spamming and I asked if he needed help in dealing with it. In response, he gave me admin privileges and I've been basically acting as "Sargent at Arms", reminding the members of the rules and boundaries i.e. no self promotions, no book promotions, no hyping books by their friends, no spamming. I've been discussing the rules every morning every time new members are added to the group so that everyone is on the same page (pardon the pun). After all of that, one person not only posted a self-promotion, immediately under his self-promotion, he writes "I know this is in violation of the rules but ... look at me anyway!" I removed it and posted a warning that if he commits a second violation, he will be removed from the discussion group. I asked that he please respect the boundaries as written. I can't help but shake my head....
Hey, well done, Bonesie! That sounds great. And yep, there's always one!
Thanks, Tupp! When I read that posting, before I removed it, my immediate reaction was *head on desk*!
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/successful-interviews-are-not-for-the-naive.html
YIKES!!!!
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/07/dear_prudence_how_can_i_have_sex_as_a_fiftysomething_woman.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/7/3/homophobic-brother-changes-his-tune-when
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Just checking in.
I thought I would look for the DS9 episode "Crossover" on YouTube as I have it on DVD. Unfortunately, no luck!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/7/5/friend-has-hard-time-finding-a
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/let-the-little-children-come----even-the-noisy-ones.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/son-of-a-sociopath.html
Possible triggers.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/7/6/birthday-girl-boldly-asks-guest-to
What nerve!!!!!
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I'm a bit annoyed at AncestryDNA at the moment. I got some results back, along with links encouraging me to contact various "cousins". One of the links gave me the sinking feeling that it was NOT a cousin but a closer relative that has not been on speaking terms for several years. When I found documented evidence that my Dad and I are part African-American, this branch of the family got all pissy because they didn't want to be related to anyone that is less than "lily white". My suspicions were confirmed a little while ago when the person contacted me and the "cousin" turned out to actually be my half-sister's grandson. Can we say ... AWKWARD?
BTW, he was very polite.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/7/7/eligible-seniors-can-sign-up-for
I'm wondering if I'm eligible for EyeCareAmerica?
Turns out I'm not because I don't know if my missing GCB has Glaucoma or not. Apparently, being diagnosed with a cataract doesn't count.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/rather-be-right-than-happy.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/07/dear_prudence_is_shaving_my_head_to_support_my_friend_with_cancer_weird.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/sure-way-to-lose-a-bestie-trash-talk-her-kids.html
With "friends" like that, who needs enemies?
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I was channel surfing over the weekend and came across a program called "The Royal Diaries". This episode focused on Princess Elizabeth Tudor, who later became Elizabeth I. The way her father, King Henry VIII was portrayed made me think he was a Narcissist. I felt sorry for his three children.
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/07/dear_prudence_my_husband_is_from_the_middle_east_i_never_want_to_go_there.html
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Trying to figure out something that has me scratching my head. A few months ago, I got a phone call from the president of a volunteer organization that I'm a member of. I stopped attending meetings as the organization no longer offered any activities that interested me. During the course of the telephone conversation, the organization's president was being downright insulting, disrespectful, and refused to hear anything I had to say so I terminated the call. I limited communications to email as the organization owed me money for something else and I wanted everything documented regarding who said what.
Well, the response I got back was to ask me why I didn't want the president of the organization to bring the money to my door. I was also asked why I didn't want to accept a ride from him to meetings since I no longer drive at night. Excuse me? He calls me up, gives me attitude, insults my intelligence, is disrespectful and I'm supposed to just suck it up and invite him onto my property so he can pick up from where I terminated the conversation? I don't think so. It wouldn't surprise me that he told others that he "can't understand why I'm so uncooperative". It wouldn't surprise me that he would deny what he said on the telephone and got nasty to me when I told him that I prefer communication via email. I think he knew he wouldn't be able to deny what he said in writing. I've seen that stupid game played too many times and I'm sick of it.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/foodies-fad-diets-and-food-sensitivities.html
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Just got a message a short while ago, from my half-sister's grandson, informing me that his mother, my half-sister's daughter wants to know my street address, phone number, e-mail address, etc., etc. I responded back that it's simply easier to contact me via e-mail. I have no intention of giving her any more information than that. The last time she and I saw each other face-to-face was immediately after NWomb-Donor died and I was treated as if I were less than human. When her mother, my half-sister died, I was excluded. Any attempts from me to communicate was met with hostility. So WHY does she want to know where I live now? My trust was trashed years ago so I prefer to keep them all at arm's length.
I look back on what took place ... in 1997 I was dealing with the deaths of an adopted sister and NWombDonor within a four month span. Three years later, in 2000, my half-sister also dies so I'm dealing with a lot of loss from 1997 to 2000. During that time frame and afterward, this particular bunch couldn't be bothered to treat me like I was human, let alone family. I learned to live my life without them. I don't trust any of them and I haven't forgotten how they made me feel when I was dealing with several deaths in the family at one time. I don't like being kicked while I'm down. They can just leave me alone.
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“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
― Maya Angelou
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Why is it that when I have to say "NO" to something, those making demands REFUSE to hear the word "NO"? WTF?!?!?
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/supervisor-uncomfortable-with-responsibility-and-power.html
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Dear Bones,
What is one small thing about summer that you really love?
Me, it's summer rainstorms. And not wearing many clothes at home.
That's two.
xo
Hops
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Dear Bones,
What is one small thing about summer that you really love?
Me, it's summer rainstorms. And not wearing many clothes at home.
That's two.
xo
Hops
Hi, Hops.
Right now, I can't think of anything as I'm in the middle of dealing with an idiot who refuses to respect the word "NO" when it comes to having my VOICE taken away from me! I will NOT have my VOICE taken away! I WILL BE HEARD!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/7/11/child-still-resents-parents-who-skipped
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Fell like sharing any details Bones?
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Feel like sharing any details Bones?
Thanks, GS.
I've just been feeling so frustrated lately.
Where I live, I'm on the board of the home owners' association and I try to keep a close eye on what property management tries to do. When they attempted to force the board to approve the installation of cigarette urns, outside my building and another building, even though the home owners NEVER requested them, I strenuously objected because I have asthma. Being forced to walk through second-hand smoke has landed me in the emergency room before. Property management attempted to justify their decision and I countered that they could set up a designated smoking area AWAY from the buildings. When property management complained that a designated smoking area would be "inconvenient to the smokers", I finally lost my temper and bluntly told them that my landing in the emergency room with a life-threatening attack is INCONVENIENT TO ME! That's when property management decided to drop their idea of installing cigarette urns.
Fast forward to this past week ... the board has been informed that the on-site service coordinator, who is an employee of property management, is leaving. Another board member has been pressuring me to apply for the job. I pointed out to him that our Bylaws forbid me to remain on the board if I become an employee of property management. Plus, as an employee of property management, I would no longer have a voice if they try to push through sneaky crap again, like those cigarette urns. If I object, I would be terminated AND I would no longer have a voice on the board either! By remaining on the board, I can keep a close eye on things and HAVE MY VOICE! I also outlined other factors that weighed in my decision to say: NO. This other board member REFUSES to HEAR ME and has attempted to FORCE me to change my NO into a YES because that is what HE wants! (What part of the word NO does he NOT understand?) We have a board meeting scheduled this coming week and I have a feeling that's he's going to try to force my hand in public and I'm going to lose my cool! (BTW, his opinion of property management flip flops any which way the wind blows until it hits him, personally, in the pocketbook, then he'll try to proclaim that he NEVER trusted property management from the beginning! He conveniently forgets that HE was the one who brought that management company to us in the first place!) I'm also dealing with this same board member in another community organization where he's attempted to passively-aggressively sabotage the efforts of a committee I'm on by sending conflicting e-mails claiming he knows it all while he refuses to LISTEN. Very aggravating!
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I hear you Bones. It sounds like a kind of double bind. Difficult to navigate - but maybe not impossible. Maybe some kind of a clever diversion will come to you between now and when you meet again.
(I am with you 100% on having smoking areas outside the door of building entrances, (especially hospitals). I just don't get it - totally illogical.)
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I hear you Bones. It sounds like a kind of double bind. Difficult to navigate - but maybe not impossible. Maybe some kind of a clever diversion will come to you between now and when you meet again.
(I am with you 100% on having smoking areas outside the door of building entrances, (especially hospitals). I just don't get it - totally illogical.)
Thanks, G.S.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/caregivers-protections.html
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Just got a message a short while ago, from my half-sister's grandson, informing me that his mother, my half-sister's daughter wants to know my street address, phone number, e-mail address, etc., etc. I responded back that it's simply easier to contact me via e-mail. I have no intention of giving her any more information than that. The last time she and I saw each other face-to-face was immediately after NWomb-Donor died and I was treated as if I were less than human. When her mother, my half-sister died, I was excluded. Any attempts from me to communicate was met with hostility. So WHY does she want to know where I live now? My trust was trashed years ago so I prefer to keep them all at arm's length.
I look back on what took place ... in 1997 I was dealing with the deaths of an adopted sister and NWombDonor within a four month span. Three years later, in 2000, my half-sister also dies so I'm dealing with a lot of loss from 1997 to 2000. During that time frame and afterward, this particular bunch couldn't be bothered to treat me like I was human, let alone family. I learned to live my life without them. I don't trust any of them and I haven't forgotten how they made me feel when I was dealing with several deaths in the family at one time. I don't like being kicked while I'm down. They can just leave me alone.
What I find ironic is that years ago, this particular individual attempted to DENY that I was "legitimately" related because she DENIED that my father ever married NWombDonor. (I have DOCUMENTED PROOF that they were married! She tried to declare that those documents are forgeries and that I'm "too retarded" to know what I'm talking about! I don't appreciate being called "illegitimate" and I DESPISE being called "retarded"! I AM NEITHER!) Now with the DNA test stating 99%, she CAN'T DENY the DNA! When I sent the message back that the ONLY way she'll be permitted to contact me is through e-mail, I haven't heard a peep. If my refusal to OBEY her has pissed her off .... TOO EFFING BLOODY BAD! After dumping on me and cursing my father to my face, I don't forget that kind of abuse!
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I like the way you're listening to and respecting your own intuition Bones.
Both with the potential job and the relative.
One question though, fwiw...could the job be a good thing for you?
xo
Hops
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I like the way you're listening to and respecting your own intuition Bones.
Both with the potential job and the relative.
One question though, fwiw...could the job be a good thing for you?
xo
Hops
Hops, I have already analyzed the job situation from all angles and I've already said NO. It will NOT be a good thing for me! I thought I was clear about that! I'm feeling very frustrated and angry right now!
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You are wise to only give out your email. Being held "illegitimate" is a soul crusher. Nobody deserves that. When my mother died last year my two brothers went on a campaign to assassinate my character to our extended family. Sadly they were successful. I have been stunned on one hand but on the other it has allowed me to let go and move on. Sounds like you have decided to move on as well.
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You are wise to only give out your email. Being held "illegitimate" is a soul crusher. Nobody deserves that. When my mother died last year my two brothers went on a campaign to assassinate my character to our extended family. Sadly they were successful. I have been stunned on one hand but on the other it has allowed me to let go and move on. Sounds like you have decided to move on as well.
Thanks, G.S.
When this individual started spewing the same venom that NWomb-Donor used to spew when she was alive, I knew I didn't want to deal with that. I had enough of the lies being thrown in face. It's hard to combat character assassination when it has been done behind your back or been done since the day you were born. I also didn't appreciate them trashing my dead father to my face. With the email, if they use it as a means to attempt to abuse me verbally, I can block them. Another issue that I have with them is that they can't stand the fact that I have African in my DNA. The test indicated Kenya, Bantu People, South Africa, Zulu, Congo, Ghana, Nigeria, and I can't remember what else off the top of my head. I joked with my friends that maybe Uhura and I are cousins! LOL! These relatives prefer to be "lily white" so they prefer to delude themselves while trashing me for not being white enough to suit them. Like you, I let go of them 17 years ago and moved on. From my perspective, loving family members don't trash other family members because they're "not good enough". Screw that!
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Why is it that when I have to say "NO" to something, those making demands REFUSE to hear the word "NO"? WTF?!?!?
I get that too, Bonesie, it's frustrating to say the least! Maybe it's time to get placards made so you can just wave NO in someone's face instead of saying it all the time :)
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Why is it that when I have to say "NO" to something, those making demands REFUSE to hear the word "NO"? WTF?!?!?
I get that too, Bonesie, it's frustrating to say the least! Maybe it's time to get placards made so you can just wave NO in someone's face instead of saying it all the time :)
I'm ready to do that! Maybe the business card-size placards will say: "WHAT PART OF THE WORD 'NO' DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?!?" If they STILL keep trucking, then the next placard would say: "ARE YOU AN IDIOT OR A MORON?" Then I'll walk away.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/narcissistic-grandma.html
Watch out for the triggers!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/7/14/wandering-grandchild-must-be-taught-to
Sheesh!!!!
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/07/dear_prudence_a_man_at_the_pool_is_inappropriate_in_his_speedo.html
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Just checking in.
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My declaration:
When I've made a decision about something, and I've decided that my answer is: "No" ... that is NOT an invitation to start badgering me in a vain attempt to force me to change my "No" into a "Yes" because YOU demand it! The only thing you're going to succeed in doing is getting KICKED to the curb with my foot up your A$$! I've already analyzed the situation, thoroughly, from all angles before I've decided "No". If you don't like my decision, TOUGH $HIT! Either RESPECT my boundaries or get lost!
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As some of your may be aware, I've been learning how to admin a discussion group. The other admin has gone on vacation for about a week. Some of the behaviors I've been observing has me scratching my head in confusion.
For example, I receive a request from a newbie to join the discussion group. The second I approve the request, I send a message to the newbie to please read the rules, pinned at the top of the page, before posting anything. (I thought that request was crystal clear.) The rules basically state the following: No promoting stuff and No selling stuff. It is clearly explained, from the outset, that the discussion group's purpose is to talk about the writing/creative process of science fiction and fantasy.
Keeping that in mind, one newbie violated all the rules WITH 30 MINUTES OF BEING ADDED! I removed the violation and sent her a private message informing her that her posting had been removed, why it had been removed, and reminded her of the rules regarding NO PROMOTIONS and NO SELLING STUFF. She attempted to argue that she has a right to sell things on the page. I informed her, again, that the purpose of the discussion group is to talk about the writing/creative process ... NOT to sell/promote stuff! That's when she replies back: "If I can't do what I want, then take my name off!" I happily obliged her and BANNED her!
What part of the word "NO" do people NOT understand?
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Checking in.....
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Hearing you on the "No." Point Bones. Very important for those of us who have felt voiceless.
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Hearing you on the "No." Point Bones. Very important for those of us who have felt voiceless.
Thanks, G.S.
-
I think some folks are taught an alphabet that goes straight from M to P.
xo
Hops
-
I think some folks are taught an alphabet that goes straight from M to P.
xo
Hops
Hops,
I'm not in the mood for obtuse humor!
-
Having trouble sleeping...........
-
Looks like it's going to be one of those weeks.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/new-worker-confused-by-hiring-manager-demotion.html
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/07/dear_prudence_on_her_deathbed_my_wife_confessed_why_we_never_had_children.html
Possible triggers.
-
Referring to your post about "one of these weeks" care to share what's going on?
-
Referring to your post about "one of these weeks" care to share what's going on?
Thanks, G.S.
I'm having a combination of not sleeping well plus my asthma has been bothering me every time the landscapers come around. Not fun.
-
Just got a message a short while ago, from my half-sister's grandson, informing me that his mother, my half-sister's daughter wants to know my street address, phone number, e-mail address, etc., etc. I responded back that it's simply easier to contact me via e-mail. I have no intention of giving her any more information than that. The last time she and I saw each other face-to-face was immediately after NWomb-Donor died and I was treated as if I were less than human. When her mother, my half-sister died, I was excluded. Any attempts from me to communicate was met with hostility. So WHY does she want to know where I live now? My trust was trashed years ago so I prefer to keep them all at arm's length.
I look back on what took place ... in 1997 I was dealing with the deaths of an adopted sister and NWombDonor within a four month span. Three years later, in 2000, my half-sister also dies so I'm dealing with a lot of loss from 1997 to 2000. During that time frame and afterward, this particular bunch couldn't be bothered to treat me like I was human, let alone family. I learned to live my life without them. I don't trust any of them and I haven't forgotten how they made me feel when I was dealing with several deaths in the family at one time. I don't like being kicked while I'm down. They can just leave me alone.
What I find ironic is that years ago, this particular individual attempted to DENY that I was "legitimately" related because she DENIED that my father ever married NWombDonor. (I have DOCUMENTED PROOF that they were married! She tried to declare that those documents are forgeries and that I'm "too retarded" to know what I'm talking about! I don't appreciate being called "illegitimate" and I DESPISE being called "retarded"! I AM NEITHER!) Now with the DNA test stating 99%, she CAN'T DENY the DNA! When I sent the message back that the ONLY way she'll be permitted to contact me is through e-mail, I haven't heard a peep. If my refusal to OBEY her has pissed her off .... TOO EFFING BLOODY BAD! After dumping on me and cursing my father to my face, I don't forget that kind of abuse!
Just as I expected, I have not heard a peep from that particular crowd since. I've lived without them this long and I can continue to live without them.
-
Bones, I hate that they would stir things up and not follow through. I hear that you are not surprised but how nice it would be if they would let sleeping dogs lie.
-
Bones, I hate that they would stir things up and not follow through. I hear that you are not surprised but how nice it would be if they would let sleeping dogs lie.
Exactly! They treated me as if I were a pile of crap for years so I don't need their crap now.
-
Nope, you don't need it and don't deserve it.
-
Nope, you don't need it and don't deserve it.
Thanks, G.S.
-
Oy, jeez.
With "family" like THAT, you need friends.
And you deserve them, ((((Bones))))
xo
Hops
-
Oy, jeez.
With "family" like THAT, you need friends.
And you deserve them, ((((Bones))))
xo
Hops
Thanks, (((Hops))).
-
Went to work in the community garden this morning and came home feeling aggravated. One part of the garden is supposed to be Butterfly Friendly as the butterflies have been badly affected lately. The "master gardener" was all set to start killing the caterpillars that she started to look for and I told her to live 'em alone! Her response? "But...the caterpillars are eating all the Butterfly Friendly plants and leaving nothing for the butterflies!" I responded: "WHERE do you think BUTTERFLIES COME FROM? CATERPILLARS!" She gave me this "Huh?" expression and I walked away. I thought a "master gardener" should be familiar with the pollinators that help the plants in the garden! I've RAISED butterflies from eggs, through the caterpillar and chrysalis stage, then released the butterflies into the environment. I just don't get some people!!!!
-
It seems the older I get, the more N-Idiots pluck my last nerve! Last night, at a Star Trek fan club meeting, we were discussing the scheduled appearance of Leonard Nimoy via Skype at the upcoming convention on Sunday. Since Mr. Nimoy will be home in Los Angeles during the Skype, I'm presuming that his appearance will take place on Sunday afternoon, East Coast time. The president of our club, who is an N, kept complaining about Mr. Nimoy's schedule and kept whining about "why can't he appear Friday evening or some time on Saturday?" I pointed out to the N that beginning at sundown Friday evening until sundown on Saturday is SHABBAT ... Mr. Nimoy's SABBATH and that he is OBSERVANT of that SABBATH! The N kept complaining that Mr. Nimoy's schedule was still "inconvenient". I was grinding my teeth and counting long under my breath to fight the urge to go off on the fool! :P
He was also whining about not being able to use his brother's car while his brother was out of town ... ignoring the fact that the LAST time he used his brother's car, he TRASHED it and stuck his brother with the expense of repairing what he TRASHED. And he wonders WHY his brother won't let him touch his car again? N-Idiot went so far as to BLAME THE CAR for the damage instead of looking at his own behaviors! (The brother has also gone incommunicado with N-Idiot which I don't think is a small coinky-dink!)
Something tells me that this club is slowly falling apart. Attendance is getting smaller and smaller each month. Even the president's own brother has stopped attending. Last night's meeting was spent listening to the president whinge, non-stop, about how his brother won't do what HE wants. He even went so far as to describe his brother as an extension of himself! :shock: If that isn't pure N-ism, I don't know what is!
-
The Ns are everywhere!
-
The Ns are everywhere!
Unfortunately, yes!
-
Well, I am rapidly reaching SMACKDOWN point with the N-president of our club! Our club also has the ability to send e-mail blasts to each other so that everyone gets the same information at the same time. I posted some possible suggestions for our next meeting, which also included a few details about a pool party they could also attend if they so wish. One member asked when the pool party was scheduled and I responded to his question with additional information. Then the N-president sticks his nose in with an e-mail to everybody proclaiming: "WHAT HE REALLY MEANS ... BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!!!" I responded back that this member did NOT need an interpreter and that he can easily speak for himself and follow up with additional e-mails asking for more clarification, if needed. N-president keeps trucking with "BUT I KNOW EVERYTHING AND WHAT HE REALLY MEANS ... BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!" My second response was a bit more blunt than my first, basically telling N-president to BACK OFF! Then I asked the member to share his thoughts regarding the pool party he had asked me about.
If N-president comes back a THIRD time with his crap, then the gloves are coming off and he's going to get a SMACK-DOWN! MY PATIENCE IS GONE!
-
Found myself battling a panic attack when I went to the grocery store for supplies. I HATE it when that happens! There's no logical reason for the agoraphobia! :P
-
Oh Bones, I feel for you.
I had years and years of panic attacks.
Worst feeling ever.
I don't know if it would help you, but
I take a powdered magnesium citrate supplement
that seems to really help.
I haven't had a panic attack in years.
(I used to have near-agorophobic feelings too
a long time ago...not in decades now.)
love
Hops
-
Oh Bones, I feel for you.
I had years and years of panic attacks.
Worst feeling ever.
I don't know if it would help you, but
I take a powdered magnesium citrate supplement
that seems to really help.
I haven't had a panic attack in years.
(I used to have near-agorophobic feelings too
a long time ago...not in decades now.)
love
Hops
I know the source(s) ... PTSD Trigger combined with Asperger's Sensory Overload.
-
I hope everything calms down a bit for you soon, Bones, you have a lot on your plate at the minute
(((((((((((((((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
-
I hope everything calms down a bit for you soon, Bones, you have a lot on your plate at the minute
(((((((((((((((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Thanks, (((((((((((((((((((((Tupp)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
-
I know the source(s) ... PTSD Trigger combined with Asperger's Sensory Overload.
That is an awful lot to deal with Bones. I feel such compassion.
-
I know the source(s) ... PTSD Trigger combined with Asperger's Sensory Overload.
That is an awful lot to deal with Bones. I feel such compassion.
Yes ... it is.
-
I wonder if some soothing meditation tapes every night for a while
might help?
Sending you calm and courage, ((((((Bones))))),
love,
Hops
-
I wonder if some soothing meditation tapes every night for a while
might help?
Sending you calm and courage, ((((((Bones))))),
love,
Hops
Not for PTSD plus Asperger's. I need to figure out what works for me.
-
Lots of encouragement to you, Bones.
I know you'll figure out what works for you.
love
Hops
-
Lots of encouragement to you, Bones.
I know you'll figure out what works for you.
love
Hops
Thanks.
-
I find that what works for me sounds like gobbledygook gook to others. But I am always finding something that spurs me on my way. Thinking of you Bones.
-
I find that what works for me sounds like gobbledygook gook to others. But I am always finding something that spurs me on my way. Thinking of you Bones.
Thanks, G.S.
-
As some of your may be aware, I've been learning how to admin a discussion group. The other admin has gone on vacation for about a week. Some of the behaviors I've been observing has me scratching my head in confusion.
For example, I receive a request from a newbie to join the discussion group. The second I approve the request, I send a message to the newbie to please read the rules, pinned at the top of the page, before posting anything. (I thought that request was crystal clear.) The rules basically state the following: No promoting stuff and No selling stuff. It is clearly explained, from the outset, that the discussion group's purpose is to talk about the writing/creative process of science fiction and fantasy.
Keeping that in mind, one newbie violated all the rules WITH 30 MINUTES OF BEING ADDED! I removed the violation and sent her a private message informing her that her posting had been removed, why it had been removed, and reminded her of the rules regarding NO PROMOTIONS and NO SELLING STUFF. She attempted to argue that she has a right to sell things on the page. I informed her, again, that the purpose of the discussion group is to talk about the writing/creative process ... NOT to sell/promote stuff! That's when she replies back: "If I can't do what I want, then take my name off!" I happily obliged her and BANNED her!
What part of the word "NO" do people NOT understand?
Another thing that the violators need to learn .... Do NOT piss off the Admin! When the Admin has already clearly explained the rules, that doesn't translate into giving permission for flipping off the Admin and posting the violation again.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/just-the-facts-maam-judgmental-parents-dont-need-the-dating-deets.html
Many, many TRIGGERS! Plus, once again, the advice columnists are CLUELESS!!!
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/7/23/girl-and-cousin-both-need-counseling
More triggers!
-
Made one of my neighbors very unhappy today. Several neighbors and I were in the pool, one of my neighbors has a one-year-old, and, unfortunately, the baby threw up in the pool. The baby's mother tried to cover it up and not let the lifeguard know but I informed the lifeguard anyway, which forced him to order everyone out of the water until he dealt with the bio-hazard as he is required to do. (That's his job.) She tried to debate the issue and another neighbor and I tried to explain that bio-hazards are not to be taken lightly. She packed up her infant and left. Oh well ... what can you do?
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/hubbys-playing-some-shoddy-defense.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/office-worker-college-dropout-lost-in-what-to-do.html
Possible triggers.
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/7/24/guest-howls-over-dogs-attendance-at
-
Re: the neighbor in the pool - some people are easier than others. Toddler and infant mothers are so used to dealing with excretions that they lose perspective and pool draining must seem like a major undertaking for small potatoes but for most others the rules provide protection. You can take comfort in this one for sure.
-
Re: the neighbor in the pool - some people are easier than others. Toddler and infant mothers are so used to dealing with excretions that they lose perspective and pool draining must seem like a major undertaking for small potatoes but for most others the rules provide protection. You can take comfort in this one for sure.
Thanks, GS.
It's one thing if the baby spit up on her, outside of the pool. It's a whole different ballgame when it happens, in the water, and there are others who are affected by it. Not fun.
-
Totally different Bones, totally different. Sort f like picking somebody else's dog's poop.
-
Totally different Bones, totally different. Sort f like picking somebody else's dog's poop.
Exactly!! NASTY!!!! :x
-
I don't envy the lifeguard his job when he has to enforce the rules at a relatively small pool. One of the rules, that the condo board, asked the pool company to enforce, was to stop residents of dumping their underage kids at the pool and leaving with the expectation that the lifeguard was going to babysit their kids for them. That is NOT what we are paying the lifeguard to do. The rule, that is now in place, is that no child under the age of 12 is to be left at the pool without a parent/guardian with them at all times. One parent tried to do an 'end-run" around this rule and finally got caught. (One of the lifeguards was too easy-going and let her slide.) We had a substitute lifeguard, who did not know her, did not know her children, and did what he was paid to do ... enforce the rules about no underage children without a parent/guardian. Well, this parent threw a tantrum because the lifeguard DARED to say NO to what she wanted to do. Her tantrum got so bad that the lifeguard called his supervisor and the supervisor showed up and reminded her of the pool rules. She hasn't brought her kids back since.
-
Spotted this on Facebook and made me think that this university student must have encountered an N! GEEZ!!!!:
"If anyone ever had any doubt, this jaw-dropper from "Not Always Right" illustrates exactly what the religious right is all about:
(I’m working in the deli section of my store part-time and studying computer science at a local university. Tomorrow I have an exam and it’s making it hard to concentrate at work, as the elderly woman I’m serving notices.)
Customer: “Excuse me, young man. I said I wanted the smoked ham, not the honey ham.”
Me: “Oh, I’m sorry about that. I’m just a little distracted. Smoked ham coming right up.”
Customer: “You really should pay closer attention to your work.”
Me: “Yes, ma’am. I just have an exam tomorrow and it’s a little hard to concentrate.”
Customer: “You look a little old to still be in high school.”
Me: “I’m not in high school. I’m studying computer science at [University].”
Customer: “[University]? Oh, no, no, no. That won’t do at all.”
Me: *stopping slicing* “Excuse me?”
Customer: “Oh, honey, you need to leave that university right away. You’re not smart enough to go to college.”
Me: “Uh…”
Customer: “If you were, you wouldn’t be working here. Besides, God ordained you to be part of the servant class. The purpose of your life is to serve the good people, like me.”
(My jaw is hanging open.)
Customer: “You need to invest yourself totally in your work here. This is what people like you were meant for. You should never try to rise above your station. You’ll make God very angry.”
Me: “…well. I’m just going to step away from my ‘station’ for a moment. [Coworker], could you give me a hand here? I really need to step out.”
(I walked into the cooler, closed the door all the way, and didn’t come back until the customer had gone and I had calmed down.)"
That young man had more patience than me! That customer had some NERVE!!! She HAD to be an N!!!! :P
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/7/25/tyke-becomes-a-terror-when-mom
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/enlist-a-mediator-to-find-the-right-realtor.html
-
Had a really rough day yesterday ... first dealing with an emergency affecting my 81-year-old neighbor then, in the middle of that emergency, I get hit with an attack of spastic colitis/possible kidney stone that bent me double. NOT fun!
-
Sorry to hear that Bones. How are you today?
-
Sorry to hear that Bones. How are you today?
Taking things slow this morning. I still have more follow-up to do.
Thanks, GS.
-
Keep us posted.
-
Keep us posted.
Thanks.
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/7/27/everyday-walk-in-the-park-is
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/yearning-for-family-in-the-ozarks.html
-
Keep us posted.
Thanks.
I've been searching for more resources as well as doing follow-up with my elderly neighbor. It is a REAL MESS with his brother ripping him off, not paying any bills, and God knows what else!
-
Had a really rough day yesterday ... first dealing with an emergency affecting my 81-year-old neighbor then, in the middle of that emergency, I get hit with an attack of spastic colitis/possible kidney stone that bent me double. NOT fun!
I think I've stumbled across a case of Elder Abuse. It is a BIG MESS!
-
Elder Abuse REALLY upsets me! I think that's why my Spastic Colitis is going off! Another neighbor and I went over to make sure our elderly neighbor had something to eat and the poor man started crying! I almost lost it, too!
-
Oh ((((((Bones)))).
I'm so glad you have spotted a problem and are there for him.
Remember you need to be well in order to help...take care...
Makes my blood boil too.
I know you'll call in authorities who are in charge and the
poor man is so LUCKY that you are a person who cares.
love
Hops
-
Oh ((((((Bones)))).
I'm so glad you have spotted a problem and are there for him.
Remember you need to be well in order to help...take care...
Makes my blood boil too.
I know you'll call in authorities who are in charge and the
poor man is so LUCKY that you are a person who cares.
love
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
-
My blood boils over eldr abuse too Bones. It is very painful isn't it?
-
My blood boils over elder abuse too Bones. It is very painful isn't it?
Oh, YES, it IS!!!
I'm in the process of contacting local resources to see what can be done to address what has happened to him.
-
My blood boils over elder abuse too Bones. It is very painful isn't it?
Oh, YES, it IS!!!
I'm in the process of contacting local resources to see what can be done to address what has happened to him.
The local police are also getting involved as it appears that some serious embezzlement has been going on. The victim is in tears again as it's his own brother who has ripped him off!
-
How nasty is that. I commend you for being there to lend a helping hand. What a difference you are making.
-
How nasty is that. I commend you for being there to lend a helping hand. What a difference you are making.
I try my best. The police have returned this morning to follow up. I also just learned, through a reliable source, that the embezzler is flying in TODAY once he learned that "local resources" have been called in. I think he knows what that means! I hope the police NAIL his lead a$$!
To add to the aggravation, while I was waiting for the police to arrive so I can let him in the secure building, a neighbor kept getting up in my grill attempting to "pump" me for information. She even stuck her nose into the conversation I was having with the police officer and I had to practice my assertiveness skills to make her BACK OFF! I found myself speaking just like a police officer! A cop's job is NOT easy!
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/07/dear_prudence_my_fianc_shaved_his_goatee_and_now_looks_too_young.html
-
No good deed goes unpunished! :P
My elderly neighbor had me take him to the bank and I witnessed that his brother had COMPLETELY wiped out his account and left him OVERDRAWN while he was out of the country...using a debit card! With the assistance of the bank employee, we closed that account in order to take his brother's name off and canceled the debit card that the brother was using. In order to be able to do that, my neighbor needed $50 to open a new account in his name only. I felt the right thing to do, given that his account was overdrawn by his thieving brother, was to transfer the $50 out of my account to his. Then the bank proceeded to take care of what needed to be done.
After all that, we get back home, my neighbor has all the new account information still in his hands, and who's waiting for him????? THE THIEVING BROTHER!!!! There went my $50 straight into this THIEF'S hands!!!!! AARRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
!@##$#%%#!@#$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Being a retiree myself, I can't afford to support a THIEF!!!!!
DAMMIT!!!!!!! :P
-
Bones, my heart just aches for the horrible state your neighbor is in. But my hat is off to you for helping him out. I think you have done something of value. For now the brother's name is not on the account and that will protect your neighbor unless he allows his brother to sign into the account.
You did the right thing.
-
Bones, my heart just aches for the horrible state your neighbor is in. But my hat is off to you for helping him out. I think you have done something of value. For now the brother's name is not on the account and that will protect your neighbor unless he allows his brother to sign into the account.
You did the right thing.
Thanks, G.S.
What worries me is that right now, the THIEVING brother has PHYSICAL custody of my neighbor, who still had all the paperwork still in his hands when we returned from the bank...including blank checks! We're right back at square one!
-
How awful Bones.
-
How awful Bones.
It is and I'm FURIOUS!!!!!
-
When neighbor is ready, he might consider changing his locks
(unless he's not emotionally ready to)...
I hope Adult Protective Services can become involved quickly,
or even an attorney to represent your neighbor...
Hops
-
When neighbor is ready, he might consider changing his locks
(unless he's not emotionally ready to)...
I hope Adult Protective Services can become involved quickly,
or even an attorney to represent your neighbor...
Hops
With his Alzheimer's, I doubt he has the ability to change the locks and resist his thieving brother. When I contacted Adult Protective Services, they told me to call the police and the police would call Adult Protective Services. I call the police and all we got was the bureaucratic runaround and the blow-off. Probably, to the bureaucrats, this is just another number not a human being.
-
Wow, won't even look Into it!
If you feel up to it stay on it. A few more calls may get them off their duff.
It is so painful to watch a person being taken advantage of in that way.
-
Wow, won't even look I to it!
If you feel up to it stay on it. A few more call may get them off their duff.
It is so painful to watch a person being taken advantage of in that way.
It's INFURIATING!
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/07/dear_prudence_should_i_tell_people_about_my_abortion.html
-
I sent an e-mail to one of the police officers who I've dealt with on other occasions and told him what has been happening since this past Friday. Turns out, he is the SUPERVISOR of the officer who blew me off. (I didn't know that.) This morning, I got a phone call from the officer, who blew me off, asking me to come to the station and write a Witness Statement of everything I observed yesterday. I wrote about five pages of everything that I saw and heard and it has been given to a detective. It appears that the police are finally taking this case seriously.
Now I wonder what will happen next?
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/physical-abuse-false-charges-or-different-perspectives.html
Many triggers!
-
I am so proud to know you, Bones.
People who are willing to stick out their necks and give voice to an old man who needs support...
well, I remember how much it meant to me when I was being abused by family, to have people
speak up for me.
GOOD for you.
love and respect,
Hops
-
I am so proud to know you, Bones.
People who are willing to stick out their necks and give voice to an old man who needs support...
well, I remember how much it meant to me when I was being abused by family, to have people
speak up for me.
GOOD for you.
love and respect,
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
Now the hardest part is the waiting as the police conduct their investigation.
-
As some of your may be aware, I've been learning how to admin a discussion group. The other admin has gone on vacation for about a week. Some of the behaviors I've been observing has me scratching my head in confusion.
For example, I receive a request from a newbie to join the discussion group. The second I approve the request, I send a message to the newbie to please read the rules, pinned at the top of the page, before posting anything. (I thought that request was crystal clear.) The rules basically state the following: No promoting stuff and No selling stuff. It is clearly explained, from the outset, that the discussion group's purpose is to talk about the writing/creative process of science fiction and fantasy.
Keeping that in mind, one newbie violated all the rules WITH 30 MINUTES OF BEING ADDED! I removed the violation and sent her a private message informing her that her posting had been removed, why it had been removed, and reminded her of the rules regarding NO PROMOTIONS and NO SELLING STUFF. She attempted to argue that she has a right to sell things on the page. I informed her, again, that the purpose of the discussion group is to talk about the writing/creative process ... NOT to sell/promote stuff! That's when she replies back: "If I can't do what I want, then take my name off!" I happily obliged her and BANNED her!
What part of the word "NO" do people NOT understand?
Another thing that the violators need to learn .... Do NOT piss off the Admin! When the Admin has already clearly explained the rules, that doesn't translate into giving permission for flipping off the Admin and posting the violation again.
I just got a snarky response from one of the violators who kept ignoring the rules after he had been warned. The first violation, I removed it and sent a private message reminding him that it is not appropriate to post ads selling anything. I advised him to contact the admins if he had any questions. He ignored me and posted the violations back onto the page! As a consequence, I removed the new violation and I removed him from the group. I sent him a private message informing him that he has been removed from the group due to violating the rules regarding selling. He sends me the following snark: "I guess YOU don't like writers!" (He don't know me!) I wrote back: "I don't like people who REFUSE to respect boundaries!"
-
As some of your may be aware, I've been learning how to admin a discussion group. The other admin has gone on vacation for about a week. Some of the behaviors I've been observing has me scratching my head in confusion.
For example, I receive a request from a newbie to join the discussion group. The second I approve the request, I send a message to the newbie to please read the rules, pinned at the top of the page, before posting anything. (I thought that request was crystal clear.) The rules basically state the following: No promoting stuff and No selling stuff. It is clearly explained, from the outset, that the discussion group's purpose is to talk about the writing/creative process of science fiction and fantasy.
Keeping that in mind, one newbie violated all the rules WITH 30 MINUTES OF BEING ADDED! I removed the violation and sent her a private message informing her that her posting had been removed, why it had been removed, and reminded her of the rules regarding NO PROMOTIONS and NO SELLING STUFF. She attempted to argue that she has a right to sell things on the page. I informed her, again, that the purpose of the discussion group is to talk about the writing/creative process ... NOT to sell/promote stuff! That's when she replies back: "If I can't do what I want, then take my name off!" I happily obliged her and BANNED her!
What part of the word "NO" do people NOT understand?
Another thing that the violators need to learn .... Do NOT piss off the Admin! When the Admin has already clearly explained the rules, that doesn't translate into giving permission for flipping off the Admin and posting the violation again.
I just got a snarky response from one of the violators who kept ignoring the rules after he had been warned. The first violation, I removed it and sent a private message reminding him that it is not appropriate to post ads selling anything. I advised him to contact the admins if he had any questions. He ignored me and posted the violations back onto the page! As a consequence, I removed the new violation and I removed him from the group. I sent him a private message informing him that he has been removed from the group due to violating the rules regarding selling. He sends me the following snark: "I guess YOU don't like writers!" (He don't know me!) I wrote back: "I don't like people who REFUSE to respect boundaries!"
Turns out that I'm not alone in dealing with idiots who don't like rules. Another Admin shared with me about how some "troll" challenged him and told him he "was wrong" for enforcing the rules of the group! I can guess what happened next with that "troll". FLING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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This has turned into the week from HELL!!!! I just learned that a dear friend of mine, Dick Wagner, died earlier today. He was the one who persuaded me to come onto Facebook and assured me that his invitation was the REAL DEAL and not some machine-generated spam. I was even working on his family tree for him to help him find out whether or not he was related to the famous German composer, Richard Wagner. He sent me a copy of his book that he autographed for me. When we first met, in 1992, at a John Bradshaw workshop, he held a small private concert for us and I had the chance to sit close as if we were in his living room. He was a great guy with a big heart of gold, full of music, loved life and lived it to the fullest.
When he played his private concert for us, this was one of the songs he did:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCTWq3ICB7I
Some may remember that the song was performed by Alice Cooper, who worked closely with him.
The song that brought all of us together at the private concert was Remember the Child, which always moved me to tears. He performed Remember the Child at this same private concert and hugged me afterward as I cried.
I just can't believe he's gone and his voice is stilled.
Here's his video of Remember the Child:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7M9wkv8gwRo
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Very sorry Bones for the loss of your friend. Sounds like a wonderful, talented and kind person.
((((((((((((((BONES)))))))))))))))))))
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Very sorry Bones for the loss of your friend. Sounds like a wonderful, talented and kind person.
((((((((((((((BONES)))))))))))))))))))
Thanks, (((((((((((((((Ales2))))))))))))))))))))))).
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After I learned of his death, I was thinking about a lot of memories. When he and I first met at the John Bradshaw workshop, I had NO idea who he was ... didn't recognize his face. To me, he was a fellow survivor of child abuse and a Friend of Bill W. and Doctor Bob and we talked ALOT about the Twelve Steps. As our friendship developed, he became the BROTHER I wish I had all my life. To me, it didn't matter that he was a celebrity ... he was a human being struggling with the same issues I have. When I learned, years ago, that he had a relapse, I sent him an e-hug as that was the only thing I could do given I was far away geographically.
Now that he's gone ... it just HURTS!
Since he brought me onto Facebook, he has introduced me to his children and his children have sort-of adopted me as their aunt. I've been sending them e-hugs yesterday.
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/07/dear_prudence_my_mom_is_catfishing_some_guy_on_an_online_dating_site.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/whats-in-a-name-change.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/sabbaticals-must-be-productive-to-further-career.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/7/31/obsession-over-six-pack-abs-puts-swimmer
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I've had to do a LOT of venting as I came across something on the Internet that REALLY UPSET ME!!!! When Dick Wagner died yesterday, before his body was even COLD, some stranger posted a HUGE obituary, with pictures, on Find-A-Grave before Dick's family had the chance to notify anyone else! To me, that is just INSENSITIVE and INCONSIDERATE! Dick's FAMILY should have had a say about where and when something like that was put on the Internet! When I vented to some other people, the response I got back was: "But....... he's a CELEBRITY!" I DON'T CARE! IT HURTS HIS FAMILY AND THAT IS NOT RIGHT!!! DAMMIT!!!!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?!?!?!?!?!?
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This has turned into the week from HELL!!!! I just learned that a dear friend of mine, Dick Wagner, died earlier today. He was the one who persuaded me to come onto Facebook and assured me that his invitation was the REAL DEAL and not some machine-generated spam. I was even working on his family tree for him to help him find out whether or not he was related to the famous German composer, Richard Wagner. He sent me a copy of his book that he autographed for me. When we first met, in 1992, at a John Bradshaw workshop, he held a small private concert for us and I had the chance to sit close as if we were in his living room. He was a great guy with a big heart of gold, full of music, loved life and lived it to the fullest.
When he played his private concert for us, this was one of the songs he did:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCTWq3ICB7I
Some may remember that the song was performed by Alice Cooper, who worked closely with him.
The song that brought all of us together at the private concert was Remember the Child, which always moved me to tears. He performed Remember the Child at this same private concert and hugged me afterward as I cried.
I just can't believe he's gone and his voice is stilled.
Here's his video of Remember the Child:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7M9wkv8gwRo
Looking back through my memories, I was remembering how I first met him at the workshop. He was standing in the back of the room, like a wallflower, shyly listening to other people who were talking to each other. I recall somebody asking him what he did for a living and he quietly replied, "Oh, I just write and play music." No bragging at all when, in reality, he was actually a GUITAR GOD! Then he switched the conversation back to the person who was speaking to him just like any other normal person. I didn't know what kind of music he had written until, during the private concert he held for us ... he pointed to the Hawaiian shirt he was wearing and thanked us for helping him to buy it. He saw the confused look on my face as I was thinking: "Huh?" Then he quietly admitted that one of the songs he wrote, that helped him buy the shirt, was "Only Women Bleed". I was gobsmacked! I had NO idea! All these years, that I've known him, he never had an outsized ego ... he was never a Narcissist. He had a Heart of Gold and people just gravitated to him. It just hurts to know that he's gone.
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http://www.wagnermusic.com/
In memory of Dick Wagner - there will never be another like him.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/8/1/diabetic-friend-suffers-close-call-miles
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I sent an e-mail to one of the police officers who I've dealt with on other occasions and told him what has been happening since this past Friday. Turns out, he is the SUPERVISOR of the officer who blew me off. (I didn't know that.) This morning, I got a phone call from the officer, who blew me off, asking me to come to the station and write a Witness Statement of everything I observed yesterday. I wrote about five pages of everything that I saw and heard and it has been given to a detective. It appears that the police are finally taking this case seriously.
Now I wonder what will happen next?
Good for you Bones. Your persistence paid off. That is such a remarkable thing for you to do.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/physical-abuse-false-charges-or-different-perspectives.html
Many triggers!
do you want to share anything about these triggers Bones?
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This has turned into the week from HELL!!!! I just learned that a dear friend of mine, Dick Wagner, died earlier today. He was the one who persuaded me to come onto Facebook and assured me that his invitation was the REAL DEAL and not some machine-generated spam. I was even working on his family tree for him to help him find out whether or not he was related to the famous German composer, Richard Wagner. He sent me a copy of his book that he autographed for me. When we first met, in 1992, at a John Bradshaw workshop, he held a small private concert for us and I had the chance to sit close as if we were in his living room. He was a great guy with a big heart of gold, full of music, loved life and lived it to the fullest.
When he played his private concert for us, this was one of the songs he did:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCTWq3ICB7I[quote/]
I'm sorry to read about your loss Bones but I am also touched by this lovely friendship you had. I is certainly a relationship to rejoice in. Thinking of you.
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I sent an e-mail to one of the police officers who I've dealt with on other occasions and told him what has been happening since this past Friday. Turns out, he is the SUPERVISOR of the officer who blew me off. (I didn't know that.) This morning, I got a phone call from the officer, who blew me off, asking me to come to the station and write a Witness Statement of everything I observed yesterday. I wrote about five pages of everything that I saw and heard and it has been given to a detective. It appears that the police are finally taking this case seriously.
Now I wonder what will happen next?
Good for you Bones. Your persistence paid off. That is such a remarkable thing for you to do.
Thanks, G.S.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/physical-abuse-false-charges-or-different-perspectives.html
Many triggers!
do you want to share anything about these triggers Bones?
Not at the moment. I'm dealing with too many emotional upheavals right now.
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This has turned into the week from HELL!!!! I just learned that a dear friend of mine, Dick Wagner, died earlier today. He was the one who persuaded me to come onto Facebook and assured me that his invitation was the REAL DEAL and not some machine-generated spam. I was even working on his family tree for him to help him find out whether or not he was related to the famous German composer, Richard Wagner. He sent me a copy of his book that he autographed for me. When we first met, in 1992, at a John Bradshaw workshop, he held a small private concert for us and I had the chance to sit close as if we were in his living room. He was a great guy with a big heart of gold, full of music, loved life and lived it to the fullest.
When he played his private concert for us, this was one of the songs he did:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCTWq3ICB7I[quote/]
I'm sorry to read about your loss Bones but I am also touched by this lovely friendship you had. I is certainly a relationship to rejoice in. Thinking of you.
Thanks, G.S.
I've reached out to his children asking if there is anything I can do. To me, Dick was the brother from another mother.
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https://www.youtube.com/all_comments?v=75PlkH-C-gE
I've always loved Dick's sense of humor.
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I'm so sorry for your loss of this important friend (((((((((Bones))))))))).
He seems like such a lovely wonderful person.
I'm glad you had him in your life, it seems as though he really comforted you.
Hope you'll hold on to that comfort even though he's no longer physically here.
love
Hops
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I'm so sorry for your loss of this important friend (((((((((Bones))))))))).
He seems like such a lovely wonderful person.
I'm glad you had him in your life, it seems as though he really comforted you.
Hope you'll hold on to that comfort even though he's no longer physically here.
love
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
He was a lovely, wonderful person with a huge heart. I'm glad he let me adopt him as my brother. Words are failing me right now.
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http://www.usatoday.com/story/life/music/2014/07/31/alice-cooper-guitarist-dick-wagner-dies/13444829/
Dick accomplished so much and was so humble. He was never a narcissist. I think that's why I came to love him as a brother from another mother.
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I'm so glad for you that you knew him and loved him And he you.
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I'm so glad for you that you knew him and loved him And he you.
Thanks, G.S.
This world is a diminished place without him in it.
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Bones, I'm so sorry that so much has been going on for you just lately - the loss of a friend and now this situation with your neighbour. I hope you're finding that you can look after yourself as well, such a lot for you to cope with.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Bones))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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Bones, I'm so sorry that so much has been going on for you just lately - the loss of a friend and now this situation with your neighbour. I hope you're finding that you can look after yourself as well, such a lot for you to cope with.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Bones))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Thanks, (((((((((Tupp))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/a-short-fuse-and-a-short-leash.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/8/3/0/daughter-is-hurt-by-drunken-moms#disqus_thread
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I think I may be finally finding my voice ....
As some of your may be aware, I have been having HELL WEEK ... dealing with a case of Elder Abuse with my next door neighbor and getting help for him, dealing with an attack of Spastic Colitis in the middle of that emergency ... then in the middle of all THAT, my brother from another mother dies. As you can guess, my nerves are RAW!!!!!
Then, on Facebook, this IDIOTIC TROLL decides to start dumping Tea Bigot Racist CRAP into my Private Message and I CAME OUT SWINGING!!! After firing my trebuchet, flinging the troll off my Friend List, I posted a WARNING to anyone else who wants to act like that. Yeah, I WAS SHOUTING!
Several Friends HEARD MY VOICE and ACKNOWLEDGED how I felt! David Gerrold, the author of "The Trouble With Tribbles" added: "Atta Girl! You're a Force of Nature and I Love You for That!"
GOD, I needed to hear some affirmations after Hell Week!
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I was going through the e-mails I kept from my friend, Dick Wagner, as I was working on his genealogy. I came across this in response to the research I found for him: "(Bones)....You have always been an amazing person, and you continue to astound." He was an amazing human being. I've been communicating with other friends, as well as family, reminiscing about everything! One of my wishes is to be able to perform in the memorial concert for him, paying it forward. I want to help continue his work.
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Love to read that you are finding your voice.
I am touched by the wonderful friendship you had with Dick Wagner. It clearly was a wonderful bond.
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Love to read that you are finding your voice.
I am touched by the wonderful friendship you had with Dick Wagner. It clearly was a wonderful bond.
It was a wonderful bond. He was a unique human being who touched the lives of a LOT of people. One of the last things he said, (paraphrasing from memory) to another musician, is that he preferred to be remembered for the song, "Remember the Child" and not for the other shit. We are trying to make his final wish come true. He's no longer here to hug, and, at the same time, we can pay it forward.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/the-crimes-of-a-sister.html
Today's column may have triggers for everyone.
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Bones,
You are making a difference in other's lives, giving back, finding meaning. My hat is off to you; helping your neighbor, shaping Dick's legacy. So nice Bones.
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Bones,
You are making a difference in other's lives, giving back, finding meaning. My hat is off to you; helping your neighbor, shaping Dick's legacy. So nice Bones.
Thanks, G.S.
I feel like I could never fill Dick's shoes.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/8/5/tread-carefully-when-naming-baby-after
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/8/6/expectant-mom-with-a-past-must
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I've often wondered how early, in development, Narcissism begins or if it's a matter of stunted growth. I found myself dealing with a couple of teenaged N's last night, during National Night Out. (I know, I know - teenaged N's is redundant as that is the nature of the beast.)
I'm in the midst of grilling hot dogs and hamburgers, keeping an eye on the fire so that nothing gets overcooked when this one teenager walks up to me and DEMANDS a soda! (Not even a "please"!) I informed her that all we have is water. She huffs, gives me an eye-roll, and walks off. I turn my attention back to the grilling. Then she comes back and DEMANDS juice! I repeat what I said a few minutes earlier: "All we have is WATER!" She huffs, again, gives me another eye-roll, again, and walks off. Then, at the END of everything ... the event is done, we are packing up, loading stuff up in our cars, cleaning up, when Little Miss ENTITLED comes back and gets up in my grill, DEMANDING CHIPS! I informed her that the event is at an end, food service is no longer available, and my group is in the middle of cleaning up. She points to an unopened carton and DEMANDS that I rip it open because she wants chips NOW! I told her: "The event is OVER! Time to go home! I'm busy cleaning up!" I go back to what I'm doing. Then, Miss ENTITLED's elder brother comes over, gets up in my face, and attempts to intimidate me into doing what he and his sister wants NOW! By this point, my patience is DONE! :x The only thing these two N's have succeeded in achieving is PISSING ME OFF! I informed them, quite firmly, that THE EVENT IS OVER AND THERE IS NO MORE FOOD! That is when they finally left! Clearly, they have NO manners!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
Looks like they keep changing the format.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/brotherly-love-eb2e74f763.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/sabbaticals-must-be-productive-to-further-career.html
Looking for the month of August.
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http://ultimateclassicrock.com/peter-frampton-throws-cell-phone/
An N learned his lesson the hard way ... DON'T MESS WITH PETER FRAMPTON!
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Bones,
You are making a difference in other's lives, giving back, finding meaning. My hat is off to you; helping your neighbor, shaping Dick's legacy. So nice Bones.
Thanks, G.S.
I feel like I could never fill Dick's shoes.
Sounds like you are making a contribution to his legacy however small or large it seems to you. You are expressing your love for him and (I like to think) you keep that part of his spirit alive in doing so. At least you keep it going in your own life and that has value.
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I've often wondered how early, in development, Narcissism begins or if it's a matter of stunted growth. I found myself dealing with a couple of teenaged N's last night, during National Night Out. (I know, I know - teenaged N's is redundant as that is the nature of the beast.)
I'm in the midst of grilling hot dogs and hamburgers, keeping an eye on the fire so that nothing gets overcooked when this one teenager walks up to me and DEMANDS a soda! (Not even a "please"!) I informed her that all we have is water. She huffs, gives me an eye-roll, and walks off. I turn my attention back to the grilling. Then she comes back and DEMANDS juice! I repeat what I said a few minutes earlier: "All we have is WATER!" She huffs, again, gives me another eye-roll, again, and walks off. Then, at the END of everything ... the event is done, we are packing up, loading stuff up in our cars, cleaning up, when Little Miss ENTITLED comes back and gets up in my grill, DEMANDING CHIPS! I informed her that the event is at an end, food service is no longer available, and my group is in the middle of cleaning up. She points to an unopened carton and DEMANDS that I rip it open because she wants chips NOW! I told her: "The event is OVER! Time to go home! I'm busy cleaning up!" I go back to what I'm doing. Then, Miss ENTITLED's elder brother comes over, gets up in my face, and attempts to intimidate me into doing what he and his sister wants NOW! By this point, my patience is DONE! :x The only thing these two N's have succeeded in achieving is PISSING ME OFF! I informed them, quite firmly, that THE EVENT IS OVER AND THERE IS NO MORE FOOD! That is when they finally left! Clearly, they have NO manners!
No manners and no boundaries. You kept your boundaries in place. My hat is off to you on that one Bones.
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Bones,
You are making a difference in other's lives, giving back, finding meaning. My hat is off to you; helping your neighbor, shaping Dick's legacy. So nice Bones.
Thanks, G.S.
I feel like I could never fill Dick's shoes.
Sounds like you are making a contribution to his legacy however small or large it seems to you. You are expressing your love for him and (I like to think) you keep that part of his spirit alive in doing so. At least you keep it going in your own life and that has value.
Thanks, G.S.
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I've often wondered how early, in development, Narcissism begins or if it's a matter of stunted growth. I found myself dealing with a couple of teenaged N's last night, during National Night Out. (I know, I know - teenaged N's is redundant as that is the nature of the beast.)
I'm in the midst of grilling hot dogs and hamburgers, keeping an eye on the fire so that nothing gets overcooked when this one teenager walks up to me and DEMANDS a soda! (Not even a "please"!) I informed her that all we have is water. She huffs, gives me an eye-roll, and walks off. I turn my attention back to the grilling. Then she comes back and DEMANDS juice! I repeat what I said a few minutes earlier: "All we have is WATER!" She huffs, again, gives me another eye-roll, again, and walks off. Then, at the END of everything ... the event is done, we are packing up, loading stuff up in our cars, cleaning up, when Little Miss ENTITLED comes back and gets up in my grill, DEMANDING CHIPS! I informed her that the event is at an end, food service is no longer available, and my group is in the middle of cleaning up. She points to an unopened carton and DEMANDS that I rip it open because she wants chips NOW! I told her: "The event is OVER! Time to go home! I'm busy cleaning up!" I go back to what I'm doing. Then, Miss ENTITLED's elder brother comes over, gets up in my face, and attempts to intimidate me into doing what he and his sister wants NOW! By this point, my patience is DONE! :x The only thing these two N's have succeeded in achieving is PISSING ME OFF! I informed them, quite firmly, that THE EVENT IS OVER AND THERE IS NO MORE FOOD! That is when they finally left! Clearly, they have NO manners!
No manners and no boundaries. You kept your boundaries in place. My hat is off to you on that one Bones.
Thanks, G.S.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/good-team-player-says-not-worth-it.html
Too often I've seen instances of "It's not what you know, it's WHO you know".
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/horrible-abuse-or-incompetent-parenting.html
Clueless people just don't get it!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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I just received some news that has my jaw on the floor!
To give a bit of background:
My Dad had been married before, back in the 1920's, and had children from his first marriage. His daughter, my half-sister, became the only surviving child from that marriage. When she married and started having children, I was an Aunt before I was born. My eldest half-niece is ten years older than I am. When she married and started having children, I became a Great-Aunt at the age of 13. One of her children, my Grand-nephew, got married back in 2000 and has become the father of three kids ... making me a Great-Great-Aunt! I just learned about these three new kids in the family tree TODAY! I'm gobsmacked!
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/lonesome-okie-rides-again.html
The first letter brings up painful memories of being lied to and lied about. It's usually a prelude to grabbing everything before the body is cold. It's UGLY.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/desperately-seeking-a-one-sided-open-relationship.html
A lot to think about.
The second letter reminds me of what David Gerrold often says: "GET OFF MY LAWN!"
I don't blame the letter writer for getting annoyed at trespassers, regardless of age. Landscaping costs ARE EXPENSIVE!!!!!!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
I think "Dear Abby" is getting worse. She's way off the mark in today's column!
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Just read a thoughtful posting from David Gerrold where he was discussing a "screechweasel". I asked him if I could borrow that adjective.
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What started the article mentioning the "screechweasel" was the following meme:
"The shit you hear about me might be true, but then again it could be as fake as that person who told you."
Here is what David Gerrold wrote about it:
"This one hits home, for so many reasons. In particular because I'm thinking about the person who told some stories about me to some people who were too willing to listen.
When I use the term "harangutan" I'm actually thinking about several different women I knew, who believed that online haranguing was a valid social transaction. (Personally, I prefer rational discussion and it's a skill I continually aspire to master.) I have a different term for ill-behaved men, is that sexist of me? Probably, but the terms I use for ill-behaved men are far more descriptive about their shortcomings, especially in the dick department.
But back to the subject at hand, one of these women in particular was a real screechweasel. (I really love that word, it's so applicable, so descriptive.) She did a lot of damage to a lot of people. She annotated every online relationship, sometimes in public, sometimes in private. It took a while to figure out just how fictitious her narratives really were -- especially the stories she told about her own history. And it took a longer while to figure out that any sustained contact with her would be giving her the privilege of whittling chunks off my own well-being.
A close friend of mine is going through a divorce, and I'm being the best listener I can be while he sorts through his feelings. He's smart and insightful and one of the people on the planet I admire the most, his observations are always worth listening to. He recognized it was time to end the relationship when he realized that he had no influence on his partner -- that the other person in the relationship was not taking his feelings into account, was not really listening to his input on decisions.
Now, over here, I think that if a life partner gives me feedback, I should pay attention to it -- first, because it's probably useful information to have, and second, because I want to show him how much I respect his partnership. It's a way of saying that the two of us together are greater than the two of us apart. So when my friend shared his feelings about not having that complete partnership, I could sense the incompleteness of the relationship and why he felt the divorce was necessary. My take on it is that the partner wants to be comfortable, my friend still wants to challenge himself. And I have a bias in the latter direction. (If you ever catch me arguing for comfort, slap me hard enough to wake me up.)
Okay, so that brings me back to the screechweasel. I believe that a person is entitled to justifiable anger -- a good healthy scream, if necessary; then get on with life. The screechweasel is long gone from my life, but there are lessons I'm still discovering. And this is one of them -- despite the appearance of years of friendship, I had no influence at all on the screechweasel. She monitored, dominated, manipulated, and weaseled a lot of people -- especially her enablers. But if anyone asked her to tone down her own behavior, it was like lighting the fuse on her tampon. (Yes, that's a sexist reference, but in this case it's the mildest way of describing her behavior, deal with it.) The point is, no one had any influence on her at all. No one.
This insight allows me to move way past anger (already did that a long time ago), even past pity for the self-constructed trap she's in, to an even more profound insight -- that those who do not allow themselves to be vulnerable are fossilizing themselves, solidifying into a personality that will only become more and more out of touch as the world around them changes.
Where I'm at now is even a bit of gratitude -- seeing this insight in practice gives me an insight to use, creating a character for a story. Everything is source material. Recognizing it is a bit of mastery.
Now, moving back to the juicy gossip part -- the screechweasel is not the only person I've met who does not listen to others. It's a pernicious trap. It's probably hardwired into our culture, certainly it's part of the problem of the political polarization we're all experiencing -- we're talking at each other, not with each other.
But in its most extreme form -- I've seen the most extreme forms of this behavior in people with mental and emotional disabilities, schizophrenics, severe autistics, psychopaths, sociopaths, people who are on the low end of the Dunning-Kruger effect, and so on -- in its most extreme form, the inability to be open, generous, vulnerable, is the sacrifice of a large part of one's humanity.
In the case of this particular screechweasel, it might be a learned behavior, a response to abusive situations. It's a kind of adult-level obstinate-defiance. (That's the most armchair psychoanalysis I'm going to engage in, but it is based on things the screechweasel shared.) If that's the case, then beyond a firm commitment to avoid any contact with screechweasels as a species, only sorrow and pity are appropriate -- and from a great distance. Because if I as a friend have no influence on that person, then I'm not really a friend. I'm just scenery in that person's world, a spear-carrier, a sidekick, a prop, an object. But not a human being that's being respected.
Meanwhile, I remain grateful for the source material. Because the insight also validates the opposite.
I learned that trick from a fellow named Steve Zaffron -- I gave him a word to look at, he immediately went to its opposite to distinguish the operative distinction. Once I saw how well that trick worked, I started using it a lot.
So if not listening means not allowing others to contribute -- then listening means opening oneself up to all sorts of useful contributions.
Sometimes it is hard to listen, but I see it as one of the necessary elements of growth. Looking, listening, tasting, exploring, discovering ... and more."
To me, the screechweasel he describes sounds just like an N! (I love the way he describes things like "lighting the fuse on her tampon" when the screechweasel was asked to tone down her own behaviors! It rang a few familiar notes of 3-D people I've known in my lifetime!)
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/zero-tolerance-for-grandpas-bigotry.html
Shaking my head.....
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/08/dear_prudence_my_brother_may_have_been_molested_by_our_uncle_and_now_they.html
This may have a lot of triggers for survivors!
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/08/dear_prudence_my_friend_dressed_in_drag_to_meet_my_conservative_parents.html
-
I'm struggling with the shock that a well-loved comedian has died from an apparent suicide. I'm struggling for words.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/go-your-own-way-teach.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
-
Feeling VERY frustrated right now because it feels like NO ONE IS LISTENING!
I'm trying to chip away at a genealogy "brick wall". Sometimes, the only way that dilemma can be solved is to collaborate with other genealogy researchers. I explain the problem, in detail, describe the DOCUMENTATION I ALREADY HAVE that PROVES the FACTS that I have and I always get this ONE individual who INSISTS on giving me information that I HAVE STATED THAT I ALREADY HAVE or INSIST on giving me WRONG information while claiming that the documentation IN MY HANDS DO NOT EXIST! (WTF?!?!) It makes me want to SCREAM in FRUSTRATION!
I HATE HAVING MY TIME WASTED EXPLAINING THE OBVIOUS REPEATEDLY!
-
My FAVORITE comedian.
:x
And such a lovely person, by all accounts.
Hops
-
:(
-
The suicide of Robin Williams is triggering a LOT of stuff from over the years.
Not long after my Dad died, NWomb-Donor left me with a babysitter while she went to the town hall to be an election judge. The babysitter had two daughters close to my age and I was barely five years old. That day, the babysitter brought us inside from playing, fed us all a hot lunch, then sent us back outside to play. A little while later, I heard this explosive noise and another neighbor came running and burst through the front door of the house. The three of us kids got up from playing and started to go into the house when this neighbor blocked the door and told us to go to see his wife next door. None of the adults around us would talk to us kids but we sensed something was very wrong.
Later, I overheard NWomb-Donor talk about how the babysitter had taken a shotgun and killed herself while her daughters and I played outside. The next time I saw my playmates, I told them that I was sorry about what happened to their mother. Turns out their father NEVER told them ANYTHING! My playmates had NO idea what I was talking about and had NO idea where their mother had gone. (I realize now that their father was an N as well who did NOT care who he hurt!) When my playmates asked their father about what I said, he came over to my house FURIOUS! NWomb-Donor proceeded to beat the crap out of me for making HER look bad to a neighbor. To this day, I still have NO idea what I had supposedly done wrong by expressing my condolences to a playmate over the death of their parent.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/demand-employment-contract-for-commissioned-sales-jobs.html
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/08/dear_prudence_anonymous_emails_are_trying_to_ruin_my_self_esteem.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/the-domino-effects-of-divorce.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/8/15/0/mans-affair-has-ended-but-marriage#disqus_thread
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/abrasive-mom-alienates-everyone.html
Yikes!
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/8/17/nurse-objects-when-mother-threatens-girl
GEEZ!!!!!
-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q48sGDc2TPc
Memories of my friend, Dick Wagner. Rock and Roll Heaven is ROCKING OUT NOW!
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/sometime-high-maintenance-friends-need-to-do-their-own-maintenance.html
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/08/dear_prudence_my_elderly_father_is_on_a_strict_diet_that_depresses_him.html
-
Is your elderly neighbor doing any better Bones?
How about YOU?
I know you're still reeling over your friend...thinking of you.
hugs
Hops
-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcVsqXZUxoc
This is one of Dick's BEST songs!
-
Is your elderly neighbor doing any better Bones?
How about YOU?
I know you're still reeling over your friend...thinking of you.
hugs
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
Regarding my elderly neighbor, the last I heard is that Adult Protective Services is checking on the situation. The brother, who has access to all of his money, has taken him out of his home so I don't know anything else.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/he-sees-dead-people.html
-
:(
He was weeping about his brother taking his money and now his
brother has taken HIM?
God that makes me sad. Hope APS is effective.
love
Hops
-
:(
He was weeping about his brother taking his money and now his
brother has taken HIM?
God that makes me sad. Hope APS is effective.
love
Hops
I'm hoping that APS is all over that brother like white on rice. The few interactions I had with the brother gave me the feeling that he's a manipulative, lying thief who knows how to B.S. people to get what he wants at the expense of others. I think that was my Radar System going when I encounter N's now.
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/08/dear_prudence_is_karma_real_a_woman_stole_her_friend_s_husband_and_died.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/8/21/cousins-tag-along-kids-push-the-limit
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/soft-skills-are-as-valuable-as-hard-skills.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/booze-is-out-of-bounds-for-kids-sports-.html
It looks like several people missed some important points:
(1) The kids' sports event has taken place in a PUBLIC VENUE and DRINKING IN SUCH A VENUE IS ILLEGAL.
(2) The dolts bringing and DRINKING THE BOOZE are IMMEDIATELY DRINKING AND DRIVING WITH CHILDREN IN THE CAR!
Duh!
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/08/dear_prudence_a_friend_may_have_killed_her_mother_do_i_have_to_tell_the.html
-
Prudie missed a beat on the accidental mother death confession. If there is money involved in the womans estate, you can bet that the adult kids who walked away will come back wanting their slice of that pie and possibly to make it bigger and will accuse or insinuate that Ruth was somehow responsible for Mothers death through negligence or some other liability. Her need for an attorney may reach farther than criminal actions, and into civil and probate court. Consulting with an attorney may be necessary to avoid a gaslighting type scenario in the future.
-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7nnFrOVg5s
This piano version is how Dick played this song at the private concert he held for all of us Adult Children who survived abuse. This is how he looked when I first met him. I am so glad, now, that I had the opportunity to share with him about how powerful his song is and give him a hug. I miss my Brother From Another Mother.
-
Prudie missed a beat on the accidental mother death confession. If there is money involved in the womans estate, you can bet that the adult kids who walked away will come back wanting their slice of that pie and possibly to make it bigger and will accuse or insinuate that Ruth was somehow responsible for Mothers death through negligence or some other liability. Her need for an attorney may reach farther than criminal actions, and into civil and probate court. Consulting with an attorney may be necessary to avoid a gaslighting type scenario in the future.
That's possible.
-
Just checking in.......
-
Checking in......
-
Checking in......
(((((((((((((((((((((Bones))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
-
Checking in......
(((((((((((((((((((((Bones))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
((((((((((((((((((((((((((Tupp))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
-
I try very hard not to get nitpicky and yet my Aspie traits do get in the way. Given that I occasionally write stories set in the Trek Universe, I tend to focus on what words MEAN so that I can accurately describe/draw/paint with the written word the pictures that I see in my mind. This is a challenge for me as I THINK IN PICTURES INSTEAD OF WORDS. (Temple Grandin is the same way and I've been told that this is also an Aspie trait.)
Yesterday, my community was supposed to have a pool party and I was going to help with the grilling. Well, Mother Nature chimed in and we got rained out. The property management employee started designing notices to the community and we ended up bickering about semantics. She wanted to say: "Pool Party Canceled!" I reminded her that we have a RAIN DATE so that the notice should say: "Pool Party POSTPONED!" and emphasize the RAIN DATE. She kept trying to insist that the word "canceled" and "postponed" mean the exact same thing. WHAT ARE THEY TEACHING IN SCHOOL NOWADAYS?!?!?!? She finally saw my point that if she announced "canceled" then NO ONE would show up on the RAIN DATE and printed out notices that say: "POOL PARTY POSTPONED TO RAIN DATE!"
Sheesh!!!!!!
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/standing-your-ground-requires-identifying-your-ground.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/8/24/knuckle-cracking-habit-brings-calm-and-craziness
-
Good job Bones!
I love that respect for language, that ain't only Aspie...
Party on, thanks to you.
hugs
Hops
-
Good job Bones!
I love that respect for language, that ain't only Aspie...
Party on, thanks to you.
hugs
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
-
Talk about lousy timing!!! I've been busy all week preparing for the community pool party and dealing with what I thought might be IBS as the spasms eased when I took Bentyl for it. Then I started getting the feeling that it could be a combination of IBS and kidney stone, (been there, done that, NOT fun!) Just before the community pool party was due to start, I got my confirmation that it was a kidney stone when it finally popped out! Now it feels like the day I had the cystoscope done! OWWWWWWWW!!!!!
-
Can't sleep.
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/08/dear_prudence_euthanizing_a_dog_with_behavioral_and_mental_problems.html
-
Need to vent for a bit.
After doing what I could, when I could, where I could, during the week leading up to the pool party, at the last minute Mother Nature rained us out. Fortunately, we had a Rain Date already planned so we posted notices, at the last minute, to inform the community that the party had been postponed to the following day. One of the most logical places to post one of those notices was on the main front door to the building that has the pool as many people would be coming through that particular door. I post a notice there before going home. The next morning, I go over to the building to start preparations and discover that the neighborhood Busybody, who REFUSES to assist with ANYTHING, had RIPPED DOWN MY NOTICE AND SHOVED IT INTO A PLACE WHERE IT WAS GUARANTEED NO ONE WOULD SEE IT!!! (She had been attempting to interfere all week while running her mouth that this pool party was going to FAIL!) I placed the notice back where I had it and put more tape on it. I was really aggravated at her constant interference. One of these days she is REALLY going to pluck my FINAL nerve!
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/08/dear_prudence_should_i_tell_people_i_m_bisexual_even_though_i_m_in_a_hetero.html
-
I'm drafting the following response to anyone who insists on plucking my last and final nerve:
Not on my time!
Not on my dime!
Not in my space!
Now GET OUTTA MY FACE!!!!
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/getting-help-from-the-grown-kids.html
This has potential triggers.
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/boss-lady-eats-everyones-lunchtime.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/8/28/wife-is-unwilling-to-shoulder-burden
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/hiring-friend-as-a-sales-agent-is-unreasonable-demand.html
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/08/dear_prudence_i_fantasize_about_hurting_my_toddler_nephew.html
-
Looks like being an Admin of a group page has its ups and downs as well as its share of whiners and whingers. One of the things that I have been doing, with the other Admin's knowledge and permission, is to remind members to review the group rules after several new members have joined the group. I find it's much more efficient to post it openly to the entire group rather than trying to private message three or more members individually. Some "older" members have forgotten the group rules and started posting self-promotions, book promotions, etc. in violation of the rules which prompted me to remove the violations and remind everyone that the group is not set up to be selling anything.
Well, one "older" member took exception to my approach and strenuously objected to the way I was enforcing the rules along with DEMANDING that I admin the group HER way! I explained the system that this group already has in place and she repeated her objections because we were not doing so HER way! Then she posted a message, addressed to the other Admin, complaining that SHE did NOT approve of the way I was being an Admin! She suddenly disappeared without notice. I figured that (a) she quit in a huff or (b) the other Admin gave her the heave-ho. I think she learned, the hard way, do NOT piss off the Admins.
-
"the heave-ho" is such a great expression, bit of jollity in it...
:)
Hops
-
"the heave-ho" is such a great expression, bit of jollity in it...
:)
Hops
Yeah.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/longtime-travel-companions-have-grown--apart.html
-
Looks like being an Admin of a group page has its ups and downs as well as its share of whiners and whingers. One of the things that I have been doing, with the other Admin's knowledge and permission, is to remind members to review the group rules after several new members have joined the group. I find it's much more efficient to post it openly to the entire group rather than trying to private message three or more members individually. Some "older" members have forgotten the group rules and started posting self-promotions, book promotions, etc. in violation of the rules which prompted me to remove the violations and remind everyone that the group is not set up to be selling anything.
Well, one "older" member took exception to my approach and strenuously objected to the way I was enforcing the rules along with DEMANDING that I admin the group HER way! I explained the system that this group already has in place and she repeated her objections because we were not doing so HER way! Then she posted a message, addressed to the other Admin, complaining that SHE did NOT approve of the way I was being an Admin! She suddenly disappeared without notice. I figured that (a) she quit in a huff or (b) the other Admin gave her the heave-ho. I think she learned, the hard way, do NOT piss off the Admins.
I know I'm in a FOUL mood and have been in a FOUL mood since the end of July so I have ZERO patience and ZERO tolerance for passive-aggressive pseudo-stupidity! I log into the group that I'm helping to admin, admit another group of new members, then I find the following posting from another new member who joined a short while ago: "I know spamming is against the rules but ... I'm posting spam anyway. If you don't like my spam, you can remove my spam FOR me." I removed the spam all right ... and I BANNED the spammer immediately! Spammers need to get off my lawn!
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/protecting-mom-is-top-priority.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/8/30/shared-finances-are-the-ties-that
-
Not sleeping again.
-
Hope it's better tonight, (((((Bones)))) --
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzs to you...
love
Hops
-
Hope it's better tonight, (((((Bones)))) --
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzs to you...
love
Hops
Thanks.
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/failing-kidneys-failing-passion.html
-
checking in.....
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/jane-likes-him-jealous.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/9/2/using-mother-tongue-makes-family-conversation
Excuse me? Grandma needs to SHUT HER MOUTH and BUTT OUT!!!! It's NOT her place to DICTATE how her son and daughter-in-law communicate with THEIR CHILDREN ... ESPECIALLY in THEIR OWN HOME! I think Grandma should try to learn the language ... she just might learn something new instead of being an "Ugly American". GEEZ!!!!!
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/9/3/husband-is-reluctant-spectator-at-wifes
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/flirting-with-infidelity.html
-
As some of you may be aware, some time back my upstairs neighbor had a leak which caused the ceiling to crash down on my water heater and made it stop working. As a result, I had quite a hassle going back and forth with my neighbor's insurance who gave me the runaround before they finally paid money toward the damages.
Fast forward, I had to replace the water heater to the tune of over $1500.00 and, in the process the plumber had to turn off my main water valve in order to do the work. I had thought that when the main water valve, in my unit, was turned off that it only affected my unit. Guess what? It also turned off the water to my upstairs neighbor and they were NOT happy! :? I couldn't help but think to myself, "Now isn't that rich? YOUR leak caused damage to my water heater and YOU are going to get annoyed?"
-
:|
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/valuable-connection-gets-ignored-.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/you-cant-make-your-daughter-love-her-husband.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/9/4/plans-to-share-a-room-hit
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/09/dear_prudence_my_wife_would_rather_be_asleep_during_sex.html
-
Having a hard time with Depression and sleeping. At night it's the worse.
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/parked-without-permission.html
-
Having a hard time with Depression and sleeping. At night it's the worse.
Hope this starts to improve soon, Bones ((((((((((((((((((((((((Bones))))))))))))))))))))))
-
Having a hard time with Depression and sleeping. At night it's the worse.
Hope this starts to improve soon, Bones ((((((((((((((((((((((((Bones))))))))))))))))))))))
Thanks, (((((((((((((((((((((((((((Tupp)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/accept-me-now--or-never.html
-
Today is Dick Wagner's funeral and I couldn't travel there due to health reasons.
-
Today is Dick Wagner's funeral and I couldn't travel there due to health reasons.
He would understand, Bones. You can have your own little ceremony and remember him in your own way. ((((((((((((((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))))))))))))
-
Today is Dick Wagner's funeral and I couldn't travel there due to health reasons.
He would understand, Bones. You can have your own little ceremony and remember him in your own way. ((((((((((((((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))))))))))))
Thanks, ((((((((((((((((((((((Tupp))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
During the time his funeral was taking place, I was playing some tunes on my lap harp. Then I powered up my electric piano and started listening to tunes by German composers in honor of Dick's German ancestry. I hope he enjoyed that.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/photographic-memories.html
-
Today is Dick Wagner's funeral and I couldn't travel there due to health reasons.
He would understand, Bones. You can have your own little ceremony and remember him in your own way. ((((((((((((((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))))))))))))
I was reading the descriptions of yesterday's service and when I read that the song "Remember the Child" was played at his funeral, I knew that if I had been there, in person, I would have been a complete, emotional mess among a sea of total strangers with no one to really turn to. I can't impose myself on others who are also grieving. It would not have been fair to others.
-
I love the way you honored and remembered your friend, Bones.
I feel sure he would have loved and appreciated your caring no matter what it "looked like."
That's the whole reason you loved him, right?
He got it.
love to you
Hops
-
I love the way you honored and remembered your friend, Bones.
I feel sure he would have loved and appreciated your caring no matter what it "looked like."
That's the whole reason you loved him, right?
He got it.
love to you
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/discouraging-treatment-for-depression-is-dangerous.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/9/8/woman-traumatized-by-sisters-murder-feels
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/the-all-powerful-mil.html
EW!! :P
-
trouble sleeping.....
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/abstinence-preaching-mom-bares-her-hypocrite.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/boss-yells-at-employee-in-front-of-others.html
I had a boss like this, once, who LOVED to publicly bully employees at every opportunity. When I brought my letter to him that was about being required to report for jury duty, he opened his office window so that other employees would hear him and proceeded to scream at me that if I reported for jury duty, he would FIRE me! Up until that moment, I had been intimidated but when he threatened me like that, I got angry. I told him, point blank, that I was NOT going to go to jail for him because he wasn't worth it! The entire office heard that too. I reported for jury duty AND kept my job. (When I went to the courthouse, I told the authorities about the boss' threat so that might have been a factor in my boss backing down.) Bottom line, bosses who behave this way are JERKS!
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/09/dear_prudence_after_having_a_child_i_m_no_longer_beautiful.html
-
Jerk boss
and
brave (((((((((Bones)))))))))
xo
Hops
-
Jerk boss
and
brave (((((((((Bones)))))))))
xo
Hops
Thanks, (((((((((((((((((Hops))))))))))))))))))
-
For some strange reason, I can't find the "Dear Abby" column this morning. Looks like the server is down.
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/grieving-daughters-blame-mom-for-grandmas-demise.html
-
checking in......
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/from-the-frying-pan-to-the-fire.html
-
Sleeping any better, Bones?
I hope so.
xo
Hops
-
Sleeping any better, Bones?
I hope so.
xo
Hops
There are good days and then there are bad days.
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/friendly-fire.html
-
trouble sleeping.............
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/how-to-handle-a-change-in-environment.html
-
Trying very hard not to loose my temper with idiots but it's getting harder not to give them a smackdown!
-
Struggling with Mutism as my Asperger's is getting in the way. Last night's Board meeting, I was sorely tempted to flip the bird at a temporarily able-bodied moron who proceeded to lecture me that if I couldn't be as articulate as SHE is, then I shouldn't be on the Board at all ... as if people with disabilities are not allowed to do anything that SHE decrees is not allowed! I wanted to yell at her that not all disabilities are visible, DUMBA$$!!!!
This same DUMBA$$ proceeded to decree what a homeowner should learn to do despite being told SEVERAL TIMES that the homeowner has Alzheimer's and is NO LONGER ABLE TO DO WHAT SHE IS DEMANDING HE LEARN TO DO!!!!
What planet is she living on?!?!?!?!?
-
Oh, man.
Bones, how frustrating this had to be.
I am sorry.
Is there any way you could simply hand her a fact sheet about your disorder
with a note requesting her patience and attitude of respect?
You don't deserve to live unappreciated.
love
Hops
-
Oh, man.
Bones, how frustrating this had to be.
I am sorry.
Is there any way you could simply hand her a fact sheet about your disorder
with a note requesting her patience and attitude of respect?
You don't deserve to live unappreciated.
love
Hops
This particular individual doesn't listen to anything that doesn't fit into her little world so I stopped wasting my energy with her.
-
It seems lately that the advice columnists are getting more and more stupid and the BTL commentators are getting nastier. In one of the "Dear Abby" letters, a person writes that she is a single mother raising a 3-year-old son. She has been approached at work and in other social situation by men who seem interested ... until they learn she has a son ... and then they RUN! One BTL batsh*t comments about "well that's the price single mothers pay for having children without the benefit of marriage." Judgmental crap! Has it ever occurred to that idiot that maybe, JUST MAYBE, the child's father was the LW's husband who might have DIED while she was pregnant? That has been known to happen. It's possible she is divorced and was given sole custody due to a variety of issues that she doesn't want to disclose in the letter because it could identify her and open up an ugly can of worms. Things happen. Pisses me off!!!! :P
-
I hear you loud and clear Bones.
My husband died when our child was 7 months old. It does happen.
-
I hear you loud and clear Bones.
My husband died when our child was 7 months old. It does happen.
Thanks, GS.
-
My upstairs neighbors inadvertently woke me up when one roommate knocked on the door to the master bedroom upstairs at 3:00 AM. The way these condos are built, noise reverberates in every direction. Once I'm up, I can't fall asleep again for several hours. I get up and start quietly puttering so I can keep my mind and hands occupied until I can go back to bed later on.
As the dawn light makes more things outside visible, I spotted a young possum walking by the fence. I'm halfway expecting one of my neighbors to throw a hissy-fit screaming about a "rat" because they're city-folk and not comfortable with wildlife like possums, foxes, deer, beavers, muskrats, herons, hawks, cormorants, etc. So far, (knock on wood), I haven't heard any screaming hissy-fits yet.
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/09/dear_prudence_live_chat_for_september_22_2014.html
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checking in....
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trouble sleeping....
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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Yesterday, I finally got the book, "The Martian Child" by David Gerrold, from the local library and read it cover to cover in one sitting. I just could not put it down! If you get the opportunity to read this book, DO IT!!!!
I won't give away any spoilers other than this book is based on the experiences of the author and his adopted son and how they found each other.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/the-say-it-like-it-is-dress-code-for-work.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/second-class-son.html
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I sent an e-mail to one of the police officers who I've dealt with on other occasions and told him what has been happening since this past Friday. Turns out, he is the SUPERVISOR of the officer who blew me off. (I didn't know that.) This morning, I got a phone call from the officer, who blew me off, asking me to come to the station and write a Witness Statement of everything I observed yesterday. I wrote about five pages of everything that I saw and heard and it has been given to a detective. It appears that the police are finally taking this case seriously.
Now I wonder what will happen next?
Giving a bit of an update.
It had been awhile since I reported this and I had no idea what has been going on since the report. Last week, Wednesday morning, I received a phone call, from Adult Protective Services, asking me if I had heard anything at all or had seen my neighbor. I had to say "No and No". Turns out that APS had been calling the police officer, who was supposed to be investigating from his end, and he was NOT returning their calls! Apparently, he was blowing them off just like he blew me off. I sent a follow-up e-mail to APS with a "cc:" to the officer's supervisor regarding what has been going on or, more accurately, what has NOT been going on.
This morning, BEFORE 6:30 AM, my phone rings! I'm wondering WHO is calling me at THAT UNGODLY HOUR?!?!? Turns out to be the police officer who had been blowing me off! He informs me that he has communicated with Adult Protective Services and gave them information that they have been asking for ... (I'm thinking, "Yeah, asking you since JULY!") He tried to play "cover his ass" claiming that APS never left a message for him. (Yeah ... right ... and I have a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you!) Looks like my email to his boss prompted his boss to light a fire under his lead a$$! I love it when a plan comes together!
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/outing-the-bully-in-law.html
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Way to go Bones. Your neighbor is lucky to have
you looking out.
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Way to go Bones. Your neighbor is lucky to have
you looking out.
Thanks, GS.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/placating-mrs-petty.html
The advice columnists are REALLY stupid this time! The LW's husband had unexpectedly DIED! The family is in emotional chaos! The ambulance, fire truck, coroner, etc. are also there so I'm sure the street was pretty well blocked with all of these vehicles and the petty neighbor next door is STILL holding a grudge about how SHE was inconvenienced and the advice columnists tell the LW to basically grovel to this petty neighbor and suck it up to this self-centered piece of work?!?!?! I DON'T THINK SO!!!!
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I found myself in a social situation where I couldn't help but cringe. I was one of many students taking a drumming class for the first time and the instructor started fussing at the student sitting beside me because she wasn't watching what the rest of the class was doing and following along. In mid-fuss, the instructor realizes, too late, that the student he is fussing at for "not watching" is TOTALLY BLIND! (Can we say "Kanye"?) *Shaking my head*
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checking in.....
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I found myself in a social situation where I couldn't help but cringe. I was one of many students taking a drumming class for the first time and the instructor started fussing at the student sitting beside me because she wasn't watching what the rest of the class was doing and following along. In mid-fuss, the instructor realizes, too late, that the student he is fussing at for "not watching" is TOTALLY BLIND! (Can we say "Kanye"?) *Shaking my head*
That is cringeworthy , Bones. I think we all, as a race, need to be more aware that there are sometimes reasons for things that aren't obvious and that we shouldn't assume anyone is lazy/can't be bothered/not interested. I am trying very hard at the moment to talk to people, keep an open mind, not to judge. I hadn't realised how much I judge people and make assumptions about them. Thanks for posting this, it sort of illustrates what I've been thinking about. I hope the student wasn't too upset by it all (and hopefully the instructor has learnt something from the experience as well!).
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I found myself in a social situation where I couldn't help but cringe. I was one of many students taking a drumming class for the first time and the instructor started fussing at the student sitting beside me because she wasn't watching what the rest of the class was doing and following along. In mid-fuss, the instructor realizes, too late, that the student he is fussing at for "not watching" is TOTALLY BLIND! (Can we say "Kanye"?) *Shaking my head*
That is cringeworthy , Bones. I think we all, as a race, need to be more aware that there are sometimes reasons for things that aren't obvious and that we shouldn't assume anyone is lazy/can't be bothered/not interested. I am trying very hard at the moment to talk to people, keep an open mind, not to judge. I hadn't realised how much I judge people and make assumptions about them. Thanks for posting this, it sort of illustrates what I've been thinking about. I hope the student wasn't too upset by it all (and hopefully the instructor has learnt something from the experience as well!).
Thanks, Tupp.
Personally, I would have thought that the student wearing dark glasses, with a white cane beside her would have given the instructor a clue-by-four. The student, and her husband, seemed to take it in stride.
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/09/dear_prudence_i_don_t_drink_alcohol_but_everyone_tries_to_make_me.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/09/dear_prudence_my_boyfriend_insists_that_i_flash_my_breasts_at_truckers.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/call-child-protective-services-and-stay-the-course.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/falling-in-love-at-work-offers-its-own-lesson.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/shunned-after-suicide.html
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As some of your may be aware, I've been learning how to admin a discussion group. The other admin has gone on vacation for about a week. Some of the behaviors I've been observing has me scratching my head in confusion.
For example, I receive a request from a newbie to join the discussion group. The second I approve the request, I send a message to the newbie to please read the rules, pinned at the top of the page, before posting anything. (I thought that request was crystal clear.) The rules basically state the following: No promoting stuff and No selling stuff. It is clearly explained, from the outset, that the discussion group's purpose is to talk about the writing/creative process of science fiction and fantasy.
Keeping that in mind, one newbie violated all the rules WITH 30 MINUTES OF BEING ADDED! I removed the violation and sent her a private message informing her that her posting had been removed, why it had been removed, and reminded her of the rules regarding NO PROMOTIONS and NO SELLING STUFF. She attempted to argue that she has a right to sell things on the page. I informed her, again, that the purpose of the discussion group is to talk about the writing/creative process ... NOT to sell/promote stuff! That's when she replies back: "If I can't do what I want, then take my name off!" I happily obliged her and BANNED her!
What part of the word "NO" do people NOT understand?
Another thing that the violators need to learn .... Do NOT piss off the Admin! When the Admin has already clearly explained the rules, that doesn't translate into giving permission for flipping off the Admin and posting the violation again.
I just got a snarky response from one of the violators who kept ignoring the rules after he had been warned. The first violation, I removed it and sent a private message reminding him that it is not appropriate to post ads selling anything. I advised him to contact the admins if he had any questions. He ignored me and posted the violations back onto the page! As a consequence, I removed the new violation and I removed him from the group. I sent him a private message informing him that he has been removed from the group due to violating the rules regarding selling. He sends me the following snark: "I guess YOU don't like writers!" (He don't know me!) I wrote back: "I don't like people who REFUSE to respect boundaries!"
Turns out that I'm not alone in dealing with idiots who don't like rules. Another Admin shared with me about how some "troll" challenged him and told him he "was wrong" for enforcing the rules of the group! I can guess what happened next with that "troll". FLING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
To give another update:
The original Admin for the science fiction writers group decided to retire from being an Admin due to real-life obligations. He turned all the responsibility over to me. I've learned enough to make a few "tweaks" so that any member can nominate anyone to join but the Admin has to approve the applicant. With that change, I've been able to "vet" profiles to see if they are really sentient beings or simply spammers with phony profiles. (I've caught a few.) I've also updated the pinned rules to include a caveat that crowd-funding demands are not permitted and specified that selling sunglasses, purses, shoes, jewelry, football jerseys, and any other such ilk will result in getting banned. I emphasized that the focus of the group is on the process of creative writing and artistry so that we can help each other with critiques and feedback to write better stories and create art.
Well, there were a few who threw a snit-fit about not being able to SELL what they want and made an elaborate production of throwing a tantrum before quitting. My basic response to those who acted obnoxious .... Happy Trails!
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checking in...
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That admin was savvy to recommend the smartest person to inherit the job!
I bet he'd be very pleased with your knowledge and performance.
Yay YOU, Bones.
Hops
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That admin was savvy to recommend the smartest person to inherit the job!
I bet he'd be very pleased with your knowledge and performance.
Yay YOU, Bones.
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
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checking in....
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checking in......
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/10/dear_prudence_i_once_had_gastric_bypass_surgery_but_am_embarrassed_to_tell.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/10/dear_prudence_i_want_to_abandon_my_young_daughter_and_husband.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/two-cats-allowed-not-four.html
The "sister" described in the second letter sounds like an "N"! Her favorite song is: "What's mine is MINE and what's yours is MINE too!"
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/10/dear_prudence_i_want_to_abandon_my_young_daughter_and_husband.html
Wow the letter about the lady pregnant with the Down's Syndrome baby made me feel so sad. I know there are people who think people with disabilities would be better off dead than disabled and, whilst I don't agree with that sentiment, everyone's entitled to their opinion and, if that's what someone thinks, that's what they think. But who on earth thinks it's okay to actually say that to a woman who is carrying a disabled child and ask her to justify her reasons for not thinking like they do??!! The insensitivity of some people just astonishes me sometimes :(
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/10/dear_prudence_i_want_to_abandon_my_young_daughter_and_husband.html
Wow the letter about the lady pregnant with the Down's Syndrome baby made me feel so sad. I know there are people who think people with disabilities would be better off dead than disabled and, whilst I don't agree with that sentiment, everyone's entitled to their opinion and, if that's what someone thinks, that's what they think. But who on earth thinks it's okay to actually say that to a woman who is carrying a disabled child and ask her to justify her reasons for not thinking like they do??!! The insensitivity of some people just astonishes me sometimes :(
I know. Some idiots make me so MAD!!!!!! :x
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/diversionary-wrap.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/age-may-not-be-baby-boomers-problem-in-job-search.html
There's another factor, that is not mentioned....the face-to-face interview. I've gotten invitations to job interviews based on my resume'. But the moment they realize that I'm old enough to be their grandmother, when I walk in the door, suddenly "the job's been filled". I finally gave up.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/minnie-the-mooch.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/10/dear_prudence_my_husband_punishes_our_children_far_too_roughly.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/dog-breeders-or-puppy-millers.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/dog-breeders-or-puppy-millers.html
The dingbat who wrote the third letter sounds like an N! She HATES the concept of BOUNDARIES!
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checking in............
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checking in............
Hope you're doing okay, Bonesie. Big love from across the Pond ((((((((((((((((((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))))))))))))))
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checking in............
Hope you're doing okay, Bonesie. Big love from across the Pond ((((((((((((((((((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))))))))))))))
Thanks, (((((((((((((((((((((Tupp)))))))))))))))))))))))))).
Trying to write another Star Trek story.
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checking in....
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checking in...
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/10/dear_prudence_my_teen_son_is_pleasuring_himself_too_much_and_in_odd_places.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/10/dear_prudence_we_had_a_child_by_surrogate_i_found_out_he_isn_t_biologically.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/truth-and-consequences-5c59c73af3.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/options-for-seniors-who-want-and-need-to-work.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
It sounds as if some idiots don't take allergies seriously.
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Getting on Soap Box:
I've been noticing, both in advice columns and elsewhere, about how mothers-in-law HATE their daughters-in-law. If you think your sons are blind to your hatred, THINK AGAIN! Aiming your venom at the woman/women your sons CHOSE to LOVE and MARRY is going to result in getting blowback and you, the mother-in-law, GETTING CUT OFF .... TOTALLY AND PERMANENTLY! If you want to lose ALL contact with your ADULT children and grandchildren .... keep trucking!
NWomb-Donor tried her damnedest to DESTROY NGCB's WEDDING by making a huge scene, at the reception about how her baby boy needs to leave his wife IMMEDIATELY and come home to Mommy Dearest because SHE WAS HERE FIRST! I had to walk over to this dingbat and tell her to STFU!!!! I had warned her, years before, that if she kept trucking the way she was trucking, she was going to LOSE ALL CONTACT WITH HER SON, PERMANENTLY!!! Did she listen? Hell to the NO! She went out of her way to DESTROY NGCB's marriage in the vain hope that her baby boy would return home to Mommy Dearest and become her substitute husband. She succeeded in destroying the marriage, all right. Guess what? He CUSSED HER OUT, CUT HER OFF, AND COMPLETELY DISAPPEARED! She never saw or heard from him again. He never showed up for her funeral when she died!
Another dingbat, who REFUSED to recognize that her nose ENDED where other people's businesses began, also went out of her way to INTERFERE with both of her ADULT children and her ADULT grandchildren. She succeeded in destroying the marriages of both her ADULT children and she made it no secret that she HATED whoever married her ADULT children because she insisted that SHE MUST COME FIRST! When she died, SHE DIED ALONE! She had been warned, numerous times, by several people to back off, butt out, shut up. She persisted in acting as if we all said: "Butt in and keep talking", while insisting that SHE HAD THE RIGHT TO FORCE US TO OBEY HER ORDERS BECAUSE GOD PUT HER IN CHARGE! (Oh, puh-leeze!) :roll:
The one thing that I said to both dingbats, "If you persist and insist that your ADULT children choose between YOU and whoever becomes their lover and/or spouse ... YOU WILL LOSE!!!!" They refused to listen and went to their deathbeds without their ADULT children, that they believed they OWNED, being there with love. Both dingbats DESTROYED that love with their possessiveness!
THINK ABOUT IT!!!!
RANT OFF!
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Righteous rant, Bones.
I had a friend who created a massive crisis in her D's family because she insisted on the right to name her own Gbaby.
She had an emotional logic for it, but she believed she was entitled to impose the name she wanted on them.
Didn't go well.
love
Hops
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Righteous rant, Bones.
I had a friend who created a massive crisis in her D's family because she insisted on the right to name her own Gbaby.
She had an emotional logic for it, but she believed she was entitled to impose the name she wanted on them.
Didn't go well.
love
Hops
I can imagine that it did NOT go well! If she wasn't banished to the Outer Limits, she was lucky.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/job-search-with-felony-record-not-impossible.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/10/dear_prudence_i_had_an_affair_with_a_conservative_politician_should_i_sink.html
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checking in.....
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checking in.....
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Bones you are completely correct in your Mother In Law rant.
My cousin, who is now in his mid-50, got married 30 years ago and his mother told him that his wife was out to ruin his life when she got pregnant shortly after their wedding. For almost 15 years she saw very little of that Gbaby or the second one. They went to counseling and the counselor said a husband should always choose his wife over MIL, unless a married couple defends their autonomy as a couple, their marriage wont be strong enough to survive. Its been said the first obstacle in marriage is getting over what other people think about the relationship. When they told her to stay away, she showed up unannounced at their home numerous times causing trouble so they got a restraining order against her.
My mother is the same, she ruined/broke up my brothers first marriage, which was not a good marriage to start with - she was a pregnant girlfriend who became a wife and she had a lot of problems of her own, magnified in a bad marriage with cruel people around you who want you to fail. My brother is now remarried to a woman who is essentially untouchable in terms of criticism (nice girl, nice family, MA in Education, self sufficient, kind, great with her kids and his previous ones, well liked in the community, church-going) but MIL can find something - mostly that she is a granola eating liberal hippie who wears birkenstocks and no makeup. Anyway, this one can see my mother for what she is, maybe it helps that her mother is PHD in psychology, but will have none of the non-sense that my mother put out.
My mother also confronted my brother three days after his last (third) baby was born in 2007 and wanted -no sorry angrily demanded - an explanation about why he is not giving the baby a name from her familys side. He has three sons, and all have a first or middle name from my Dads side of the family (along with the surname, last name of my Dad for obvious reasons). She denied the confrontation when I asked her about it, but it happened for sure, my brother, his wife and her inlaws claim it did happen on more than one occaision.
That said, there are many times when I see that people in the family have no idea how cruel and malicious my mother is. There are some days when I want to hurl insults at other family members but I dont because I know how it feels and I know its wrong. When I imagine hurling insults at people and being malicious like my mother is, I wait to be called on it, so I can respond with "Have a problem with that? Take it up with my Mother, thats what she taught me" Nobody seems to be aware of how abusive she is and just once it would be nice to have people be on the receiving end of her type of cruelty and get some validation. This will never happen of course, but I can dream....
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Bones you are completely correct in your Mother In Law rant.
My cousin, who is now in his mid-50, got married 30 years ago and his mother told him that his wife was out to ruin his life when she got pregnant shortly after their wedding. For almost 15 years she saw very little of that Gbaby or the second one. They went to counseling and the counselor said a husband should always choose his wife over MIL, unless a married couple defends their autonomy as a couple, their marriage wont be strong enough to survive. Its been said the first obstacle in marriage is getting over what other people think about the relationship. When they told her to stay away, she showed up unannounced at their home numerous times causing trouble so they got a restraining order against her.
My mother is the same, she ruined/broke up my brothers first marriage, which was not a good marriage to start with - she was a pregnant girlfriend who became a wife and she had a lot of problems of her own, magnified in a bad marriage with cruel people around you who want you to fail. My brother is now remarried to a woman who is essentially untouchable in terms of criticism (nice girl, nice family, MA in Education, self sufficient, kind, great with her kids and his previous ones, well liked in the community, church-going) but MIL can find something - mostly that she is a granola eating liberal hippie who wears birkenstocks and no makeup. Anyway, this one can see my mother for what she is, maybe it helps that her mother is PHD in psychology, but will have none of the non-sense that my mother put out.
My mother also confronted my brother three days after his last (third) baby was born in 2007 and wanted -no sorry angrily demanded - an explanation about why he is not giving the baby a name from her familys side. He has three sons, and all have a first or middle name from my Dads side of the family (along with the surname, last name of my Dad for obvious reasons). She denied the confrontation when I asked her about it, but it happened for sure, my brother, his wife and her inlaws claim it did happen on more than one occasion.
That said, there are many times when I see that people in the family have no idea how cruel and malicious my mother is. There are some days when I want to hurl insults at other family members but I dont because I know how it feels and I know its wrong. When I imagine hurling insults at people and being malicious like my mother is, I wait to be called on it, so I can respond with "Have a problem with that? Take it up with my Mother, thats what she taught me" Nobody seems to be aware of how abusive she is and just once it would be nice to have people be on the receiving end of her type of cruelty and get some validation. This will never happen of course, but I can dream....
I hear ya, Ales2.
It's aggravating having to deal with whack-jobs like that.
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The first letter in today's Dear Abby ..... I think the advice columnist has lost all of her marbles!!!!!!!
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checking in....
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/10/dear_prudence_my_husband_is_violently_obsessed_with_the_neighbors.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/put-it-in-writing.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/10/dear_prudence_my_sister_dresses_her_son_in_feminine_clothing_like_pink_tutus.html
Sounds like this mother is seeing her son only as an extension of herself instead of seeing him as the person he IS!
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checking in.....
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Hello.
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Hello.
Hello.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/employees-hearing-or-listening-problem-must-be-resolved.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/10/dear_prudence_on_halloween_poor_kids_come_to_trick_or_treat_in_my_neighborhood.html
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"Eww, those greedy poor children..."
I swear.
Big hug to you, Bones.
Hops
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Thanks.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/separation-of-church-and-church.html
Mother-in-law sounds like a control freak.
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woke up from a nightmare.
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checking in......
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/10/dear_prudence_my_fianc_never_went_to_college_and_is_embarrassed_about_it.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/putting-the-kibosh-on-cranky-clyde.html
I don't think the Annie's get it!
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/10/dear_prudence_my_boyfriend_is_too_good_looking_for_me.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/nice-employees-may-finish-last.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/be-the-good-example-this-little-boys-mom-is-not.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/10/dear_prudence_gay_marriage_is_now_legal_in_my_state_but_my_boyfriend_won.html
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Just woke up from a very telling nightmare.
I dreamt that I was on a bus ride with all of my former classmates from high school but no matter how hard I tried to socialize with them and participate in the fun, the only response I would get would be: "Shut up! Nobody wants to hear you." At the end of the ride, I was left behind to take care of all of the logistics for them. I felt both invisible and voiceless. I tried to find comfort, in a nearby shop, searching for a DVD of George Harrison. Then I woke up.
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checking in.....
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Recently, I found myself in a bit of an unusual situation as the Admin for a Science Fiction/Fantasy discussion group. A flame war broke out, which is not that unusual with any online group. What made this flame war a bit stickier than usual was that it broke out between a troll and the now-retired-admin who is currently a regular member.
At first, I attempted to let the two of them work it out, adult-to-adult, and that approach seemed to work when the ex-admin voluntarily deleted his comments that started the flame war. No one asked him to delete his thread so I thought the situation was resolved and the group could now move on to other sci-fi/fantasy related discussions. Then the ex-admin RE-POSTED his thread, with ADDITIONAL comments that were guaranteed to incite the troll to respond and the flame war resumed! That's when I stepped in and informed both parties to take their disagreement off the list and hash it out privately. The ex-admin then sends me a private message about how he's innocent and the other troll started it, etc. etc., etc. while other members, on the list, started taking sides in the flame war. I posted a public statement, TO EVERYBODY on the sci-fi/fantasy list that I DON'T CARE WHO STARTED THIS FLAME WAR! IT STOPS NOW! (I was prepared to to ban both parties, even if one of them used to be the admin for this very group.) The troll disappeared on his own and the ex-admin is sulking because I refused to side with him against the troll. (The ex-admin is close to my age so he's old enough to know better than to try to fight with a college-aged troll. It's like trying to wrestle with a pig in a mud pit. One gets dirty and the pig enjoys it.)
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checking in....
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/11/dear_prudence_there_s_a_rumor_i_gave_up_a_disabled_baby_for_adoption.html
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checking in.....
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/11/dear_prudence_a_close_friend_stopped_responding_to_my_calls_and_emails_years.html
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can't sleep.....
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Sorry Bones. Insomnia sucks.
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Sorry Bones. Insomnia sucks.
Yeah.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/move-on-from-managers-who-cant-manage.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/addiction-and-disease.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/11/dear_prudence_my_husband_s_been_writing_a_movie_screenplay_for_years.html
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insomnia again....
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There are many suggestions short of medication. A warm bath with water above the kidneys helps release a sleep inducing enzyme, Epsom salts bath especially with lavender, and also melatonin. I hope it is short lived.
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There are many suggestions short of medication. A warm bath with water above the kidneys helps release a sleep inducing enzyme, Epsom salts bath especially with lavender, and also melatonin. I hope it is short lived.
Thanks, GS. Because of my disabilities, I can no longer sit in a tub. Once I'm in, I can't get out without someone being able to lift me. My legs don't work that well anymore.
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:|
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Just need to vent for the moment....
Someone, I used to sponsor years ago, is dealing with an extremely difficult situation. Her husband has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and she is facing heart surgery herself. The stress she is under is enormous, to say the least. She posted what was occurring on Facebook and she received the following response from one of our mutual acquaintances: "I hope your husband dies soon."
WTF?!?!?!?!?!?
Before I could respond, someone else commented at the coldness of that comment and the person who posted that attempted to justify it by stating: "Well, it's reality. He's going to die anyway."
I was so angry that I was speechless. At the same time, knowing how this person thinks made me realize that attempting to reason with her callousness would be a waste of my time and energy because she would NEVER hear it!
What I wanted to get through to this person was that there is "reality" and then there is COMPASSION! HUGE DIFFERENCE!
An example of trying to get someone to see reality goes back to an old situation. The mother of NDoofus had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's and, eventually, her disease progressed to the point where the doctor told NDoofus that she could no longer leave her mother home alone. It was just too dangerous to leave her mother to her own devices while NDoofus was at work. NDoofus started acting passive-aggressive and kept coming up with excuse after excuse, resisting what the doctor was telling her. She didn't want to place her mother in a nursing home because she didn't trust nursing homes. The doctor then suggested Adult Day Care so that someone would keep an eye on mother while NDoofus was at work. NDoofus didn't like that suggestion either and resisted it. The doctor told her that a third option was having visiting nurses, who are trained to work with Alzheimer's patients, staying with her mother in NDoofus' home. She flat out refused that suggestion by declaring, "I don't want strangers in MY house!" The doctor emphasized that she had to pick one of those options because she CANNOT LEAVE HER MOTHER HOME ALONE! When NDoofus refused to consider any of the three options and left the doctor's office, the doctor had no choice but to call in Adult Protective Services. APS took on the case and NDoofus was forced to agree to have visiting nurses come to her home, whether she liked it or not. Needless to say, NDoofus tried to play "victim" even though the doctor had no choice but to force her to see REALITY.
Being compassionate is different. The former sponsee, whose husband is dying, is PAINFULLY AWARE of the REALITY of the situation. She does NOT need some self-righteous idiot SHOVING the facts into her face! She's grieving the fact that her husband is dying, is in pain, she's helpless to stop that pain, and she's also scared about her own impending heart surgery. Under these circumstances, COMPASSION could go a long way! If the only thing anyone can do is offer her an e-hug, then offer her an e-hug. Even the Vulcan saying, "I grieve with thee.", could help. People who insist on shoving reality in the faces of others, who are already suffering, are NOT helpful!
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I grieve with thee.
And your friend.
Heartlessness is so much on display on the Interwebs.
I keep telling myself these are loner outliers who just...don't...see.
Hops
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I grieve with thee.
And your friend.
Heartlessness is so much on display on the Interwebs.
I keep telling myself these are loner outliers who just...don't...see.
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
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:|
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((((Bones))))
Hope you are able to sit in some sunshine for a little while today.
Bundled up.
love
Hops
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((((Bones))))
Hope you are able to sit in some sunshine for a little while today.
Bundled up.
love
Hops
Thanks, ((((Hops))))
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/missing-his-little-girl-not-him.html
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checking in......
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:(
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/manager-misses-own-meetings.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/11/dear_prudence_our_midwives_are_anti_vaccination_activists_should_we_fire.html
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:|
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Hello Bones.
-
Hello Bones.
Hi, GS.
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checking in.....
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:|
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Having some PTSD flashbacks.
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:|
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Any better, Bones?
Hope it's not the Hellidays creeping up.
This time of year can stir up a lot of flashbacks for survivors of bad families...
hugs
Hops
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Any better, Bones?
Hope it's not the Hellidays creeping up.
This time of year can stir up a lot of flashbacks for survivors of bad families...
hugs
Hops
It's a combination of the Hellidays and a viral infection in my bronchial tubes.
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/11/dear_prudence_my_former_intern_is_trying_to_blackmail_me.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/11/dear_prudence_a_teenage_girl_will_watch_me_give_birth_so_what.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/he-has-everything-except-the-help-only-he-can-seek.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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Hello Bones.
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Hello Bones.
Hi, GS.
-
Checking in.............
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/that-next-degree.html
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/11/dear_prudence_my_nudist_wife_wants_our_children_to_be_nudists_too.html
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oooh I liked the one about the intern blackmailing the boss for a better recommendation ...or revealing her office faux-ffair...
Terrible advice though, HR will not act on hearsay, they would wait until the intern actually makes the threat before they can do anything. They would tell the boss to write the planned recommendation, or dont write one at all and suggest the intern complain to HR, which prompts her and entraps her into making a mess. Just say NO is the better policy and see what she (intern) does with it. Trying to get in front of it may be exactly what the intern is planning for.
Somebody better tell Prudie, that was very bad advice...
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When confronted by HR, the intern can deny it all.... but if something unsavory is revealed in that process that IS true, she wins. That is not a game you want to play....
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Sometimes I wonder about these advice columnists.
-
The first letter in today's "Dear Abby" describes an NWomb-Donor who is an ABSOLUTE CREEP!!! EW!!!! :P
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:|
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checking in....
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/billed-if-they-do-billed-if-they-dont.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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Today's Dear Abby talks about a Nervy Neighbor who takes things WITHOUT asking first!
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Hey Bones. How are you?
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Hey Bones. How are you?
Hi, GS. Resting as much as possible after catching a virus somewhere.
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checking in.....
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Hope you feel better soon.
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Hope you feel better soon.
Thanks.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
I'm not sure, but it appears that "Dear Abby" has cut off the feature that allows readers to comment on various letters. I'm wondering if a flame war erupted and that's why that feature has been stopped.
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/11/dear_prudence_my_dying_mother_s_letters_are_holding_me_emotionally_hostage.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/outing-the-excessive-break-taker.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/straightening-out-a-self-absorbed-friend.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/nosy-neighbors-have-no-say-in-grandmas-care.html
With neighbors like these, who needs enemies?
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/11/29/0/slumber-party-with-mom-is-an#disqus_thread
This NWomb-Donor has ISSUES BIG TIME!!!! ICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :P
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checking in.......
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Howzit going, Bones?
love
Hops
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Howzit going, Bones?
love
Hops
Taking things slow.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/a-suicide-gene.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/a-suicide-gene.html
I really liked the third letter, from the grandparent who does a meal twice a week with her family - such a nice way of spending time together and so lovely to read about someone who wants to see more of their grandchildren but understands the demands of young children so comes up with a way of making it easy for everyone instead of being unpleasant and difficult about it. She sounds like a fab nan :)
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/a-suicide-gene.html
I really liked the third letter, from the grandparent who does a meal twice a week with her family - such a nice way of spending time together and so lovely to read about someone who wants to see more of their grandchildren but understands the demands of young children so comes up with a way of making it easy for everyone instead of being unpleasant and difficult about it. She sounds like a fab nan :)
Oh yeah! I agree!!! :D
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/12/dear_prudence_i_was_fat_shamed_by_my_cousin_at_thanksgiving.html
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checking in....
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/12/dear_prudence_is_our_sexy_young_nanny_a_temptation_for_my_husband.html
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checking in.....
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/no-chance-of-changing-a-bad-seed-supervisor.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/12/dear_prudence_my_husband_is_a_bad_gift_giver.html
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In today's "Dear Abby", I don't think "Abby" gets it.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/putting-the-reins-on-crazy.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/12/7/2/color-selection-causes-t-shirt-tug-of-war#disqus_thread
I'm suspicious about this mother.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/all-in-the-family-471adfc382.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/12/dear_prudence_grandma_never_puts_work_into_gift_buying_i_do_it_instead.html
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checking in.....
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checking in....
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You're up early, (((((Bones))))...
still having trouble sleeping?
I've been doing some very weird
things like awake nearly all night one night,
then sleep like a log the next. Not clever.
Hope you have a good day.
love
Hops
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You're up early, (((((Bones))))...
still having trouble sleeping?
I've been doing some very weird
things like awake nearly all night one night,
then sleep like a log the next. Not clever.
Hope you have a good day.
love
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/to-date-or-not-to-date-choosing-love-or-a-job.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/going-crazy-keeping-him-away-from-her.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/12/dear_prudence_i_hate_the_wedding_dress_i_bought.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/12/12/1/guest-is-aghast-at-request-to#disqus_thread
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/12/13/1/domineering-father-rules-household-through-anger#disqus_thread
Dear Abby is CLUELESS!!!!
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Today is Dick's birthday. He would have been 72 if he had lived.
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Hoisting a toast to your friend, in hopes he's in a happy state of Beyond...
love
Hops
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Hoisting a toast to your friend, in hopes he's in a happy state of Beyond...
love
Hops
Thanks, Hops. I like to believe he's rocking out in Rock and Roll Heaven with other musicians.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/all-about-that-tap.html
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Feeling a bit frustrated at the moment. It's just aggravating when I give CLEAR, EXPLICIT, instructions in writing and those instructions are IGNORED!
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checking in....
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/there-will-be-blame.html
I would tell "Aunt Betsy" that if she shows up on my doorstop with these UNIVITED guests, then the door will be slammed in HER face too! Then SHE will also be UNINVITED! If she throws a tantrum, TOUGH!
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/dont-turn-a-temporary-molehill-into-a-permanent-mountain.html
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Not sure how accurate or reliable the news is....I've heard that Alex Trebek had a run-in with an NWomb-Donor who demanded a special exception to the Jeopardy rules. When Mr. Trebek explained the rules, the NWomb-Donor complained to the show's producers that Mr. Trebek was "mean". The producers tried to persuade Mr. Trebek to re-tape the segment to appease the NWomb-Donor and Mr. Trebek said "No". NWomb-Donor's attempts to manipulate the show's host, show's producers and the show's rules turned into an EPIC FAIL!
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/a-life-or-death-battery-change.html
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/tragic-childhood-admission-alters-the-workplace.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/12/dear_prudence_my_family_teases_to_show_affection_but_my_boyfriend_doesn.html
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I think, in today's Dear Abby, that the advice columnist MISSED THE POINT about the SAFETY of the children! If I understand the letter correctly, the grandmother has NOT been dating this dude that long. How can she know he is not a pedophile?
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checking in.....
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I HATE THE HELLIDAYS!
-
I can NEVER understand WHY people, who KNOW that they are SICK with something CONTAGIOUS, INSIST ON SPREADING IT AROUND AT HOLIDAY PARTIES!!!!! I WISH THESE PEOPLE WOULD KEEP THEIR VIRUSES HOME!!!!!! :P
-
Taking zinc lozenges, every 3 hours, has helped me "beat back" a whole lot of colds.
To my amazement.
Key is to start popping them the MOMENT you sense you have cold symptoms (while they're early and minor).
Zicam is the brand name but the drugstore brand works just as well. The meltable ones, you don't chew them.
Hope that works for you sometime, Miz B...since humans are still going to "share" their colds...
hugs
HOps
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Taking zinc lozenges, every 3 hours, has helped me "beat back" a whole lot of colds.
To my amazement.
Key is to start popping them the MOMENT you sense you have cold symptoms (while they're early and minor).
Zicam is the brand name but the drugstore brand works just as well. The meltable ones, you don't chew them.
Hope that works for you sometime, Miz B...since humans are still going to "share" their colds...
hugs
HOps
What this person had sounded more like bronchitis...I DON'T WANT THAT AGAIN!
-
checking in as I wait for the opportunity to go researching.
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/holding-holiday-dinners-hostage.html
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Just found out that one of my nephews, that I used to babysit years ago, died in 2013 and NOBODY BOTHERED TO TELL ME! I am SO SICK AND TIRED OF THIS DYSFUNCTIONAL CRAP!
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That is really upsetting Bones...
I'm so sorry about your nephew.
Jeez. How cold.
Hops
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That is really upsetting Bones...
I'm so sorry about your nephew.
Jeez. How cold.
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/12/dear_prudence_my_father_died_close_to_christmas.html
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checking in....
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MERRY WHATEVER you like to call it DAY
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MERRY WHATEVER you like to call it DAY
Merry Christmas, Garbanzo.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/boss-in-midlife-crisis-hires-cute-but-lazy-women.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/12/dear_prudence_i_found_hundred_of_explicit_pictures_of_my_daughter.html
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checking in....
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http://nypost.com/2014/12/25/plane-passenger-tossed-after-angry-reaction-to-merry-christmas/
Looks like Instant Karma nailed this Narcissist!
A couple of thoughts crossed my mind as I read this article....
(a) The airline's Karma ran over his dogma.
and
(b) Narcissists who throw tantrums on airlines will get tossed out the nearest airlock!
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/care-for-the-caregivers.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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checking in.....
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ho-ho Bones--you were up early!
Sleep's not very easy for me either, drives me crazy.
More walking helps but it still ain't right.
xo
Hops
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ho-ho Bones--you were up early!
Sleep's not very easy for me either, drives me crazy.
More walking helps but it still ain't right.
xo
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
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I just stumbled across a Facebook message from my brother, to a former classmate of his, where I learned that he is now disabled and had to go to Canada for surgery. I went ahead and sent him a private message telling him that I hope things are getting better for him. If he responds with hostility, then it's on him.
-
checking in....
-
I just stumbled across a Facebook message from my brother, to a former classmate of his, where I learned that he is now disabled and had to go to Canada for surgery. I went ahead and sent him a private message telling him that I hope things are getting better for him. If he responds with hostility, then it's on him.
Yesterday, I sent a message to my brother via Facebook.
Today, I get word that he died yesterday from cancer.
This year has been HELL!
-
I just stumbled across a Facebook message from my brother, to a former classmate of his, where I learned that he is now disabled and had to go to Canada for surgery. I went ahead and sent him a private message telling him that I hope things are getting better for him. If he responds with hostility, then it's on him.
Yesterday, I sent a message to my brother via Facebook.
Today, I get word that he died yesterday from cancer.
This year has been HELL!
And....the family DYSFUNCTION continues......
After trying to find out how to contact my brother's ex-wife and getting the blow-off, the same family member who informed me that my brother has died proceeds to tell me that he finds my "opinions" on my genealogy tree "offensive". My response? "My tree is no longer public. I'm sorry you feel that way. I thought we could mend fences in our old age."
I'm DONE with their BULLSHIT! SCREW THEM!!!!
-
I just stumbled across a Facebook message from my brother, to a former classmate of his, where I learned that he is now disabled and had to go to Canada for surgery. I went ahead and sent him a private message telling him that I hope things are getting better for him. If he responds with hostility, then it's on him.
Yesterday, I sent a message to my brother via Facebook.
Today, I get word that he died yesterday from cancer.
This year has been HELL!
And....the family DYSFUNCTION continues......
After trying to find out how to contact my brother's ex-wife and getting the blow-off, the same family member who informed me that my brother has died proceeds to tell me that he finds my "opinions" on my genealogy tree "offensive". My response? "My tree is no longer public. I'm sorry you feel that way. I thought we could mend fences in our old age."
I'm DONE with their BULLSHIT! SCREW THEM!!!!
NOW he wants to introduce me to his kids!!!! WHAT GIVES?!?!?!?!?!?
-
Hmmm.
Maybe by saying he'd like to introduce you to his kids, he actually means he noticed what you said about mending fences.
Maybe this is his way to respond to that...but he's offering an action (let's have you meet my kids) instead of words.
Could be a good thing?
Hope so,
Hops
-
Hmmm.
Maybe by saying he'd like to introduce you to his kids, he actually means he noticed what you said about mending fences.
Maybe this is his way to respond to that...but he's offering an action (let's have you meet my kids) instead of words.
Could be a good thing?
Hope so,
Hops
At this point, I'm no longer interested. When NWomb-Donor died, I attempted to maintain contact with this family member only to have the phone slammed down in my ear. When his brother, my other nephew, died in 2013, he and his other brothers didn't bother to inform me when they notified my brother. His excuse? He "assumed" I already knew. How in the HELL does he expect me to automatically know? Telepathy? This dysfunctional crap has gone on for so long that I am TIRED of it! I've got better things to do with my time and energy than to deal with phonies I cannot trust. I refuse to put his kids in the middle of his crap!
-
Hmmm.
Maybe by saying he'd like to introduce you to his kids, he actually means he noticed what you said about mending fences.
Maybe this is his way to respond to that...but he's offering an action (let's have you meet my kids) instead of words.
Could be a good thing?
Hope so,
Hops
At this point, I'm no longer interested. When NWomb-Donor died, I attempted to maintain contact with this family member only to have the phone slammed down in my ear. When his brother, my other nephew, died in 2013, he and his other brothers didn't bother to inform me when they notified my brother. His excuse? He "assumed" I already knew. How in the HELL does he expect me to automatically know? Telepathy? This dysfunctional crap has gone on for so long that I am TIRED of it! I've got better things to do with my time and energy than to deal with phonies I cannot trust. I refuse to put his kids in the middle of his crap!
One of the drawbacks to situations like this is having to notify other relatives, even if they are also dysfunctional. It then becomes a damned if I do and damned if I don't scenario. When I notified another cousin, he started to turn the conversation into a Tea Bigot Rant against Cousin Obama and I WAS NOT HAVING THAT! SMACKDOWN! I do NOT need more CRAP!
-
I just stumbled across a Facebook message from my brother, to a former classmate of his, where I learned that he is now disabled and had to go to Canada for surgery. I went ahead and sent him a private message telling him that I hope things are getting better for him. If he responds with hostility, then it's on him.
Yesterday, I sent a message to my brother via Facebook.
Today, I get word that he died yesterday from cancer.
This year has been HELL!
Aw Bones I was so sorry to read this. I've not been getting online much so I'm a bit out of touch with posts and what have you so have been scrolling through and read about some of the other things that have happened and I'm so sorry that there has been so much hurt and sadness for you to deal with. I'm so sorry that all of this has been coming into your life. Sending cyber hugs from across the pond (it's times like this I wish we all 'knew' each other because sometimes a bloody big hug is the only thing that does any good).
((((((((((((((((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
-
I just stumbled across a Facebook message from my brother, to a former classmate of his, where I learned that he is now disabled and had to go to Canada for surgery. I went ahead and sent him a private message telling him that I hope things are getting better for him. If he responds with hostility, then it's on him.
Yesterday, I sent a message to my brother via Facebook.
Today, I get word that he died yesterday from cancer.
This year has been HELL!
Aw Bones I was so sorry to read this. I've not been getting online much so I'm a bit out of touch with posts and what have you so have been scrolling through and read about some of the other things that have happened and I'm so sorry that there has been so much hurt and sadness for you to deal with. I'm so sorry that all of this has been coming into your life. Sending cyber hugs from across the pond (it's times like this I wish we all 'knew' each other because sometimes a bloody big hug is the only thing that does any good).
((((((((((((((((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Thanks, (((((((((((((((((((((((((((Tupp)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Right now I need to be with people who understand because the rellies are just BATSHIT CRAZY!!!!!!
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Oh (((((((((((((Bones))))))))))))))).
Relies. Ugh.
Friends. (((((((((Whew)))))))))
VESMB. Hallelujah.
Hang in there,
Hops
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Oh (((((((((((((Bones))))))))))))))).
Relies. Ugh.
Friends. (((((((((Whew)))))))))
VESMB. Hallelujah.
Hang in there,
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
-
Well. at least I can say that my detective skills paid off again. I was able to locate my nephew, my brother's long-lost son, and notify him that his father has passed away. The last time I saw this nephew was back in 1979, when he was still an infant. As a result, he has no memories of me. He was surprised, to say the least, and very appreciative that I was able to let him know.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/receiving-guests-not-their-list-of-demands.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/12/31/daughters-baby-sitting-leads-to-another-baby
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Well. at least I can say that my detective skills paid off again. I was able to locate my nephew, my brother's long-lost son, and notify him that his father has passed away. The last time I saw this nephew was back in 1979, when he was still an infant. As a result, he has no memories of me. He was surprised, to say the least, and very appreciative that I was able to let him know.
I also just found my long-lost niece! She's asking me a LOT of questions about genealogy!!!!!! :D
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What a week it has been...lost a brother and found a nephew then a niece.
-
http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/accepting-natural-abilities-can-lead-to-the-right-career.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/1/2/1/handicapped-patrons-go-to-the-front#disqus_thread
I have a few thoughts about this.
-
I wish I had pleasant memories of my brother but, unfortunately, I don't thanks to the NWomb-Donor who insisted on destroying everything that didn't revolve around HER!
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I'm really happy about your niece, Bones.
Your Nmother didn't destroy this!
love
Hops
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I'm really happy about your niece, Bones.
Your Nmother didn't destroy this!
love
Hops
Thank God that my niece never knew NWomb-Donor! The NMonster died when my niece was still an infant.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/1/2/1/handicapped-patrons-go-to-the-front#disqus_thread
I have a few thoughts about this.
In re-reading the letter, I noted that the mother with the small children was DIRECTLY BEHIND the letter writer. The person in the wheelchair was further back in line and was NOT seen. The mother, who needed the changing table, should have gone first as she was ahead of the one in the wheelchair. If the one in the wheelchair urgently needed to go, then she should have used her words as soon as she got in line and not throw a fit tantrum because a mother with a baby needed the changing table. Suppose, instead of the mother with children, it was someone with a disability, hidden by clothing, who needed the accessible stall? I don't look disabled but I've discovered, the hard way, that I can't use the regular stalls anymore because my legs don't work as well anymore. I need to hold onto something to help myself to my feet or otherwise I can't stand back up from the low toilets. Those railings, inside the accessible stall, are what I need now.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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checking in...
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/hypersensitive-sisters-in-law.html
Once again, the advice columnists are CLUELESS!!!! If someone harangued me, while I was eating, I'd tell the Harangutang to STFU or LEAVE! I don't have to tolerate verbal abuse from anyone!
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checking in....
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/soap-operas-alive-and-well-at-work.html
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checking in...
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And I thought I had sleep problems!
Morning, Bones...been struggling with sleep?
It's so difficult, to not get good rest makes everything twice as hard.
Hope you're snoozy soon.
Hops
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And I thought I had sleep problems!
Morning, Bones...been struggling with sleep?
It's so difficult, to not get good rest makes everything twice as hard.
Hope you're snoozy soon.
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0MK7qz13bU
The lyrics are resonating with me right now.
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checking in....
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checking in......
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checking in.....
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Morning, Bones.
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Morning, Bones.
Morning.
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Found some surprising information regarding an ancestor, while doing genealogy research. Being able to share this information with the next generation, my niece, who is also into genealogy is the icing on the cake!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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My brother's death certificate arrived in the mail today. I braced myself for what I thought I was going to see when I opened the envelope. Then I discovered that death certificates, from another country, don't provide what I expected to see. The paper I got more or less said: "He's dead." Nothing else. I wanted to tell the bureaucrat, "Duh! Yeah! Why else would I request a death certificate?" *Shaking my head.*
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Turns out that in order to obtain what is known as a "death registration" from another country, I have to supply THEM with a copy of my birth certificate!!! GEEZ!!!!!
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Good for you for persisting, Bones.
You'll get the records you need.
love
Hops
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Good for you for persisting, Bones.
You'll get the records you need.
love
Hops
At the expense of getting and sending my birth certificate? I think NOT!
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/working-mothers-lack-of-work-ethic-hurts-everyone.html
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Good for you for persisting, Bones.
You'll get the records you need.
love
Hops
At the expense of getting and sending my birth certificate? I think NOT!
I just want my voice HEARD!
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/01/dear_prudence_i_put_a_baby_up_for_adoption_as_a_teenager_how_do_i_tell_my.html
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My niece just told me some information that has me FLOORED!!!!
My late brother remarried a THIRD time and my niece did NOT know she had a step-mother until a few days before my brother died! This is a SOAP OPERA!!!!!
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My niece just told me some information that has me FLOORED!!!!
My late brother remarried a THIRD time and my niece did NOT know she had a step-mother until a few days before my brother died! This is a SOAP OPERA!!!!!
The more I've been learning about this third "wife", the worse it gets! GEEZ!
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For some strange reason, I've been getting "Server Not Found" messages lately.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/controlling-son-in-law.html
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Recently, someone did a "data dump" into my online Family Tree WITHOUT my permission! I contacted the Techies to see if I could find out how this was possible since I have NOT granted anyone that kind of access! I didn't name any names but I had a STRONG suspicion who it was as their Tree is the ONLY tree that contains the identical data.
The Techies asked me a gazillion questions to see if I had clicked on certain links in their website only to determine that since I am NOT a paid subscriber, I don't have access to those particular links. To add to this mystery, this "data dump" occurred AFTER I set my Tree to "PRIVATE". I went ahead and changed my password so that whoever did this could NOT do it again!
About 48 hours after I reported this unauthorized hacking and "data dump", I discover that the Prime Suspects had their profile DEACTIVATED! Their Username is still there but everything else is BLANK! Now I'm wondering, due to the timing, if the Techies continued to investigate the unauthorized hacking, "data dump", and CAUGHT the Prime Suspects with forensic evidence. If that is the case, then the Prime Suspects deserved the consequences of violating the rules!
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You go, Detective Bones!
8)
Hops
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You go, Detective Bones!
8)
Hops
Thanks.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/recognizing-parkinsons-disease.html
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checking in......
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/kindness-can-pay-more-than-we-know.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/01/dear_prudence_should_we_try_for_a_third_non_special_needs_child_with_genetic.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/01/dear_prudence_i_want_a_bridesman_in_my_wedding_party.html
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Bones, I'm so sorry to hear about your brother's death and the way you have been treated. It is the way you are treated most of all that brings up the hurt.
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Bones, I'm so sorry to hear about your brother's death and the way you have been treated. It is the way you are treated most of all that brings up the hurt.
Thanks, G.S.
Dealing with dysfunctional relatives and all of their crap makes it harder.
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How are you doing Bones? Just stopping by to say, "Hello."
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How are you doing Bones? Just stopping by to say, "Hello."
Thanks, G.S.
I'm trying to do my best, one day at a time. It's still rough.
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I hear you.
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I hear you.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((G.S.))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/dont-let-dad-chase-jay-away.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/1/25/0/mom-says-dollhouse-built-with-love#disqus_thread
The NWombdonor of this 7-year-old is an ABSOLUTE B*TCH!!!!! :P
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A 3-D friend of mine is having a rough time too. Yesterday, she got word that a good friend of hers was dying and that if she wanted the chance to say goodbye, to get to the nursing home ASAP. At the moment she got the news, she was preparing to pick me up a couple of hours later to go to a club meeting. She called me and asked if I was willing to be picked up earlier than planned, go with her to the nursing home to say goodbye to her dying friend, then go on to the club meeting. I told her I would be waiting and ready to help if needed.
We got to the nursing home and my friend asked me if I preferred to wait in the lobby as she knows I'm still struggling with the grief of losing my brother. I told her I would go with her as she shouldn't have to walk into that situation alone. We went into the room to say goodbye and I saw that her friend was already in a coma, with agonal breathing, and a clear death rattle that told me that death was imminent. I also saw my friend struggling not to cry as she stroked her friend's shoulder and spoke softly to her. We didn't stay long and as we walked back to the car, my friend expressed her gratitude that I stayed through this in spite of my own grief.
About four hours after we left, her friend quietly passed away. This year is starting out rough!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/little-sister-big-trouble.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/01/dear_prudence_how_can_an_introvert_teach_her_kid_to_make_friends.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/easy-come-easy-go.html
Sheesh!!!!!!!
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Bones,
That was beautiful companionship you gave your friend as she said farewell to her friend.
Bittersweet.
Hops
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Bones,
That was beautiful companionship you gave your friend as she said farewell to her friend.
Bittersweet.
Hops
It is still hard to watch somebody die.
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/01/dear_prudence_our_baby_interrupts_our_sex_at_night.html
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Checking in.....
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I have been explaining, REPEATEDLY, regarding my circumstances and WHY I am NOT prepared to teach any class ALONE! I've mentioned at least THREE TIMES that I am dealing with the death of my brother! And yet, the people I have been explaining to just do NOT seem to HEAR ME!!!! WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/the-truth-death-of-a-co-worker-does-not-sadden-all.html
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checking in...................
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checking in......
I've had some trouble accessing the website from time to time and I don't know why.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/2/1/couple-kisses-and-makes-up-but
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checking in......
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/2/3/0/stepmother-wishes-others-wouldnt-devalue-her#disqus_thread
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I have trouble getting on every now and then as well and recently I cannot access private messages, to send or receive. It's all so weird.
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I have trouble getting on every now and then as well and recently I cannot access private messages, to send or receive. It's all so weird.
It IS weird! I was having trouble accessing this Forum until a few moments ago.
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dealing with anxiety..............
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Seen the friendly moon tonight, Bones?
I barely had a chance to look tonight but last night it was amazing.
When I'm anxious, moon helps. Sky helps, any old tree helps.
And a hug. Real or ether.
For ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((you))))))))))))))))))).
Hope the anxiety soon lets go.
love to you
Hops
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Seen the friendly moon tonight, Bones?
I barely had a chance to look tonight but last night it was amazing.
When I'm anxious, moon helps. Sky helps, any old tree helps.
And a hug. Real or ether.
For ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((you))))))))))))))))))).
Hope the anxiety soon lets go.
love to you
Hops
Hops,
I just need to be HEARD!
I just want my VOICE HEARD!
I just want to vent and be HEARD!
Please don't try to fix.
Thank you.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/vascular-wellness-screenings-save-lives.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/to-work-or-not-to-work-insurance-will-decide.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/my-twin-sister-the-klepto.html
Regarding Letter #2, God help that person if s/he ever meets or makes friends with a Deaf person who relies on SIGN LANGUAGE to COMMUNICATE!!!!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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Got it, Bones. My impulse is to try to fix.
I'll remember (or if I don't, feel free to remind me!).
Hops
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Got it, Bones. My impulse is to try to fix.
I'll remember (or if I don't, feel free to remind me!).
Hops
Thank you.
I will remind you.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/drawing-boundaries-at-the-duplex.html
I've known a twit like this invading neighbor.
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Just tried Reiki for the first time today. It helped immensely.
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That's COOL.
I remember feeling that way too about Reiki.
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The Reiki helped me sleep.
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Great news Bones.
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Great news Bones.
Thanks.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/liar-liar-pants-on-fire.html
Sounds familiar.....................
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checking in......
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I think I'll start planning on having more Reiki sessions to take care of myself. I just need to save up for it as insurance doesn't pay for that.
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So glad you found something that helps.
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So glad you found something that helps.
Thanks, GS.
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence.html
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Spoke to my niece and ex-sister-in-law on the phone for the first time last night. VERY enlightening! I gave my ex-sister-in-law some details of what life was like dealing with NWomb-Donor and we had to try and survive a Narcissistic Rage-aholic. I didn't go into a lot of details as my young niece was listening in and I felt that my niece didn't need to know THAT about her Dad. What little I shared prompted my ex-sister-in-law to comment: "NOW all his warped behaviors MAKE SENSE!" It felt as if I gave a missing piece of the puzzle and she could see the whole picture.
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Just chatted a little more with my ex-sister-in-law and learned more about how NGCB behaved while he was in his second marriage. He LIED to her regarding just about EVERYTHING! I told her that the nut didn't fall far from the tree as the NWomb-Donor carefully taught him and groomed him to be just like her. Yeah, she brainwashed him to blindly follow her example. That's when I realized that any hope I had of him mellowing out and being willing to rebuild a healthy sibling relationship with me was nothing more than a pipe dream. NWomb-Donor had permanently f**ked him up GOOD! It just pisses me off at how he hurt other innocent people for his own self-gratification just like the NC**T did when she was alive! DAMMIT!!!!
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checking in.....
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/preparing-oneself-in-a-corporate-merger-.html
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Was chatting with my ex-sister-in-law and niece online yesterday about our favorite subject....genealogy. They have been struggling with a "brick wall" for years and shared that with me. All they had to go on was a nickname and a possible surname that was unproven. To complicate things more, the ancestor they were searching for has the traditional Spanish naming pattern which makes names even longer but all they had to go on was the ONE possible surname!
I asked them to give me whatever clues they've been able to find over the years, jotted them down, and started my own search in the resources that I've been using for years. I found quite a few possibilities in the Census records, copied the links and sent them over to my ex-sister-in-law and asked her what she thought of them. She typed back, "OH MY GOD!" I asked her if I had hit the jackpot and she replied that I just found her Great-Uncle listed with his family while he was STILL A CHILD! Her "brick wall" came tumbling down and she was able to find more of her ancestors!!!!
That kind of success feels so good! :D
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checking in...............
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/2/15/husband-expects-wife-to-be-waiting
Sounds familiar....................................................................
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/a-game-plan-for-the-unsympathetic.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/a-game-plan-for-the-unsympathetic.html
As I was reading the first letter, I was thinking: "Instant Karma, baby! What goes around, comes around! Don't expect tea and sympathy after throwing away a four-year-old CHILD and then try to PUNISH him 24 years later for not reading your mind and knowing your timeline!" Self-Centered B*TCH!
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checking in........
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/loud-violent-outbursts-not-fit-for-a-child.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/2/17/ultrasound-baby-picture-gets-a-negative
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checking in...................
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/02/dear_prudence_my_husband_s_friend_drew_a_penis_on_our_wedding_guestbook.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/02/dear_prudence_i_don_t_swim_with_my_kids_in_public_because_of_my_body_issues.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/complaint-about-boss-boomerangs.html
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checking in....
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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checking in...had a hard time getting into the Board.
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sometimes when I try to get into the board there is an error msg, but if I go to a different browser I get in. I think there are some links to it or something that are old? not sure what causes that but I have a problem accessing it on occasion. perhaps this is not even what you mean.
it is so quiet here, people must be busy
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sometimes when I try to get into the board there is an error msg, but if I go to a different browser I get in. I think there are some links to it or something that are old? not sure what causes that but I have a problem accessing it on occasion. perhaps this is not even what you mean.
it is so quiet here, people must be busy
Yeah.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/medication-for-menopause-and-misery.html
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checking in.......
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checking in......
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hi Bones
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hi Bones
hello.
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Bon Jour
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Bon Jour
Bon Jour
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/preparing-to-find-work-over-50-.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/02/dear_prudence_my_son_hates_church_should_i_stop_making_him_go.html
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Some people just don't understand. I had to take a stand with someone who works in Hollywood who just doesn't get it. The following was started when a photo was posted on Facebook of a GORGEOUS child who happens to have been born with Downs Syndrome. She's holding a sign asking people to please not call her "Retarded". The Hollywood actor posted the following comment:
(Hollywood Actor): You are a beautiful person, being used by someone smarter then you to promote their bullshit politically correct agenda. Try not being offended by simple words and try being less uptight like your daughter or sister or whomever (Gorgeous Child) is. You freedom restricting A-holes. Grow up. The world isn't politically correct and it shouldn't be. It restricts freedom to speech and thought, and if I want to say retarded around friends who aren't to refer to them being slightly slower then the rest of us I damn well will.
Here is my response to him:
From BonesMS - (Hollywood Actor), I have to respectfully disagree with you. I've been living with disabilities since birth and I've lost count as to the number of times I have been called "retarded" because of the disabilities I live with. I am NOT "retarded" even though I am disabled. I have reason to suspect that I am on the Autism Spectrum and have been since birth. In spite of my disabilities, I managed to get an education, including a Master's degree. I've also witnessed physical assaults and bullying of others because of their disabilities. Until you walk a mile in my shoes, please THINK before using that ugly word. Thank you!
He hasn't responded back to me yet. I have a few other words I'd like to have with him to make him THINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Some people just don't understand. I had to take a stand with someone who works in Hollywood who just doesn't get it. The following was started when a photo was posted on Facebook of a GORGEOUS child who happens to have been born with Downs Syndrome. She's holding a sign asking people to please not call her "Retarded". The Hollywood actor posted the following comment:
(Hollywood Actor): You are a beautiful person, being used by someone smarter then you to promote their bullshit politically correct agenda. Try not being offended by simple words and try being less uptight like your daughter or sister or whomever (Gorgeous Child) is. You freedom restricting A-holes. Grow up. The world isn't politically correct and it shouldn't be. It restricts freedom to speech and thought, and if I want to say retarded around friends who aren't to refer to them being slightly slower then the rest of us I damn well will.
Here is my response to him:
From BonesMS - (Hollywood Actor), I have to respectfully disagree with you. I've been living with disabilities since birth and I've lost count as to the number of times I have been called "retarded" because of the disabilities I live with. I am NOT "retarded" even though I am disabled. I have reason to suspect that I am on the Autism Spectrum and have been since birth. In spite of my disabilities, I managed to get an education, including a Master's degree. I've also witnessed physical assaults and bullying of others because of their disabilities. Until you walk a mile in my shoes, please THINK before using that ugly word. Thank you!
He hasn't responded back to me yet. I have a few other words I'd like to have with him to make him THINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's odd, isn't it Bonesie, how some people feel it's easier for someone not to be offended by a word than it is for them to use a different one?! You were very polite in dealing with that post, that sort of thing tends to make me see read and I start swearing like a fish wife :)
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Some people just don't understand. I had to take a stand with someone who works in Hollywood who just doesn't get it. The following was started when a photo was posted on Facebook of a GORGEOUS child who happens to have been born with Downs Syndrome. She's holding a sign asking people to please not call her "Retarded". The Hollywood actor posted the following comment:
(Hollywood Actor): You are a beautiful person, being used by someone smarter then you to promote their bullshit politically correct agenda. Try not being offended by simple words and try being less uptight like your daughter or sister or whomever (Gorgeous Child) is. You freedom restricting A-holes. Grow up. The world isn't politically correct and it shouldn't be. It restricts freedom to speech and thought, and if I want to say retarded around friends who aren't to refer to them being slightly slower then the rest of us I damn well will.
Here is my response to him:
From BonesMS - (Hollywood Actor), I have to respectfully disagree with you. I've been living with disabilities since birth and I've lost count as to the number of times I have been called "retarded" because of the disabilities I live with. I am NOT "retarded" even though I am disabled. I have reason to suspect that I am on the Autism Spectrum and have been since birth. In spite of my disabilities, I managed to get an education, including a Master's degree. I've also witnessed physical assaults and bullying of others because of their disabilities. Until you walk a mile in my shoes, please THINK before using that ugly word. Thank you!
He hasn't responded back to me yet. I have a few other words I'd like to have with him to make him THINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's odd, isn't it Bonesie, how some people feel it's easier for someone not to be offended by a word than it is for them to use a different one?! You were very polite in dealing with that post, that sort of thing tends to make me see read and I start swearing like a fish wife :)
I agree, ((((((((((((Tupp))))))))))))))))))).
I had to count to 100 before I was calm enough to respond to him.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/divorce-or-involuntary-commitment.html
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I've just heard the news about Leonard Nimoy and I'm in shock. My Favorite Vulcan is GONE! :cry:
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checking in.....
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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I've just heard the news about Leonard Nimoy and I'm in shock. My Favorite Vulcan is GONE! :cry:
Remembering his work:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9XZH3e6-mPc
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This has been a rough 12 months ... July 2014, my brother from another mother dies ... December 2014, my biological brother and last sibling dies ... February 27, 2015, my Favorite Vulcan dies. It feels as if I've been kicked in the stomach.
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Loved Nimoy.
Live long and prosper.
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Loved Nimoy.
Live long and prosper.
Thank you.
When I heard about his COPD diagnosis, I knew this day would come and it still hurts.
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checking in......
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/do-your-husband-a-favor-and-dont-pick-a-fight-about-moms-memorial.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/03/dear_prudence_my_dying_stepmother_is_comparing_her_death_to_my_mom_s.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/03/dear_prudence_my_husband_keeps_sexting_me.html
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checking in.....
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checking in.....
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/preparing-to-find-work-over-50-.html
Trying to find today's column to post and the browser keeps going into yo-yo mode.
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/3/6/american-familys-face-of-the-future
Makes me think of a family legend regarding my paternal grandmother. The NWomb-Donor tried to paint my paternal grandmother as a horrible person because she punched out somebody. I'm thinking the scenario actually went something like this:
It's about the year 1899 and my paternal grandmother, (who is White), is walking with her toddler son, who happens to be Biracial/African-American. Some idiotic clown gets up in her grill and threatens her and/or her baby! :x :P :x SHE DECKS HIM! I don't blame her!!! I would have done the same thing!
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Just venting for the moment.
Trying to explain to a client that just because I found ONE document in ONE repository doesn't automatically mean that ALL the documents he wants are ALL stored there! It depends on the type of DOCUMENT and which office/department it was originally filed in! SHEESH!!!!
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Plus trying to Sit Shiva for Leonard Nimoy makes things complicated.
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This comment from Mr. Nimoy's obituary in the Los Angeles Times:
"For fans wishing to donate, Nimoy’s family asks that donations be made in his memory to the Everychild Foundation, P.O. Box 1808, Pacific Palisades, CA 90272; the COPD Foundation, 20 F Street NW, Suite 200-A, Washington DC 20001; Beit T’Shuvah treatment center, 8831 Venice Blvd. Los Angeles, 90034; or the Bay-Nimoy Early Childhood Center at Temple Israel of Hollywood, 7300 Hollywood Blvd., Los Angeles 90046."
(GLS)
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checking in....
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Managed to get through Sitting Shiva for Leonard Nimoy. The next hurdle is his birthday on March 26th. That's going to be tough knowing he is no longer among us to celebrate with him.
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Managed to get through Sitting Shiva for Leonard Nimoy. The next hurdle is his birthday on March 26th. That's going to be tough knowing he is no longer among us to celebrate with him.
Bones I'm sorry you have lost another goodie from your life. It's been a tough year for you (on top of other tough years). He's left a wonderful legacy. It's nice that arrangements were made for fans to show their feelings and gratitude for him in a way that will benefit others by donating to those charities. ((((((((((((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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Managed to get through Sitting Shiva for Leonard Nimoy. The next hurdle is his birthday on March 26th. That's going to be tough knowing he is no longer among us to celebrate with him.
Bones I'm sorry you have lost another goodie from your life. It's been a tough year for you (on top of other tough years). He's left a wonderful legacy. It's nice that arrangements were made for fans to show their feelings and gratitude for him in a way that will benefit others by donating to those charities. ((((((((((((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Thanks, ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Tupp))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/10-years-in-the-dark-and-unsure-about-the-light.html
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http://thinkprogress.org/lgbt/2015/03/09/3631333/a-transgender-woman-went-to-the-gym-and-nothing-happened/
The complainant, who lost her membership, sounds like a N who was attempting to triangulate others to side with her against the target she chose to bully. Karma got her!
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/03/dear_prudence_breaking_off_my_engagement_was_the_biggest_mistake_of_my_life.html
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checking in........
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/bedbug-bedlam.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/03/dear_prudence_should_i_secretly_vaccinate_my_grandson.html
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checking in....
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The Reiki helped me sleep.
I had the opportunity to give back when I attended my first Reiki Circle. As another Reiki Practitioner was giving Reiki to the one who helped me, I asked for permission to join in. As soon as I touched her feet, she told me that it felt like I had plugged into an energy source and was recharging her batteries. I also focused on healing her injuries as she had fallen down her front steps because of ice. I know, all too well, how THAT feels!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/if-you-cant-beat-em-leave-em.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/bad-boss-good-boss-keeps-workers-on-edge.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/03/dear_prudence_my_affair_partner_just_had_a_stroke_and_i_want_to_leave_everything.html
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Couldn't get in this morning.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/3/14/boyfriends-sister-complicates-womans-plans-for
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/awkward-or-uncaring-in-the-face-of-death.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/03/dear_prudence_i_m_a_black_woman_with_a_white_boyfriend_who_doesn_t_understand.html
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checking in.....
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/03/dear_prudence_my_son_had_a_dog_lick_peanut_butter_off_his_chest.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/trying-to-escape-abuse.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/dying-on-the-vine.html
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Long ago, I decided I had enough of working as a secretary and earned a Master's degree. Unfortunately, my old employer decided they didn't want ANY secretaries that had more education than a G.E.D. and forced several of us out of our jobs by eliminating our positions and rewriting the job descriptions to reflect a lower education. I was able to take an early retirement and grabbed the opportunity to keep my pension, even though it's a struggle to make ends meet.
Fast forward to today, I went to Voc. Rehab., trying to find employment where I can use my degrees and not deal with age discrimination and ableism. I was told by one Voc. Rehab. counselor that (a) I am WAY OVERQUALIFIED for everything in my geographic area because of my education and (b) Age Discrimination happens but you can't prove it. I was advised to try self-employment, which I'm still doing.
The last Voc. Rehab. counselor I spoke to has been pressuring me to give up self-employment and apply for a regular job and SENDS ME A JOB ANNOUNCEMENT FOR BECOMING A SECRETARY AGAIN!
WTF?!?!?!?!?!!?!?
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(((((((((((((((((hugs bones)))))))))))))))))))
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(((((((((((((((((hugs bones)))))))))))))))))))
Thanks, (((((((((((((((teartracks)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/dont-manipulate-millennials-just-hire-the-good-ones.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/worried-about-war-mementos.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
Regarding the letter from the individual ignored by his family and wants to ignore them back ... as usual, the advice columnist just does NOT get it! BTDT! I thoroughly empathize with the letter writer! For decades, I was called all kinds of names and shunned by other "relatives". One of them even slammed the phone down in my ear when I asked if we could get together, with his family. Then, right after my last sibling dies, the one who slammed the phone in my ear suddenly wants to "play nice" and denied he ever had any animosity toward me. I have ZERO interest in dealing with any of them!
F**K ALL of them to H*LL!
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Long ago, I decided I had enough of working as a secretary and earned a Master's degree. Unfortunately, my old employer decided they didn't want ANY secretaries that had more education than a G.E.D. and forced several of us out of our jobs by eliminating our positions and rewriting the job descriptions to reflect a lower education. I was able to take an early retirement and grabbed the opportunity to keep my pension, even though it's a struggle to make ends meet.
Fast forward to today, I went to Voc. Rehab., trying to find employment where I can use my degrees and not deal with age discrimination and ableism. I was told by one Voc. Rehab. counselor that (a) I am WAY OVERQUALIFIED for everything in my geographic area because of my education and (b) Age Discrimination happens but you can't prove it. I was advised to try self-employment, which I'm still doing.
The last Voc. Rehab. counselor I spoke to has been pressuring me to give up self-employment and apply for a regular job and SENDS ME A JOB ANNOUNCEMENT FOR BECOMING A SECRETARY AGAIN!
WTF?!?!?!?!?!!?!?
Frustrating, Bones! I think a lot of problems stem from a tick box mentality; people don't really connect with you or take time to hear what you're saying, they just work their way through a checklist that they can file at the end of the day and then blame you for not accepting what they're offering :) When my son was younger I had to go to the job centre on a regular basis for a 'work focused interview' which is a requirement for receiving benefits. I didn't have a problem with that at all, but their assumption was that anyone that wasn't working lacked basic skills or qualifications and this lady was trying to get me to sign up to do basic classes in English and Maths. I'm an English teacher! Then she asked if I'd be interested in teaching the classes on a voluntary basis which I said I'd love to do but asked if they'd cover the cost of childcare for my son as I couldn't pay it (as I wasn't working) and the answer was no. This meant I couldn't teach the classes and she wrote up on my file that I was uncooperative and hostile to suggestions for help :) So I hear ya!! Hope something (or someone!) suitable comes along at some point xx
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Long ago, I decided I had enough of working as a secretary and earned a Master's degree. Unfortunately, my old employer decided they didn't want ANY secretaries that had more education than a G.E.D. and forced several of us out of our jobs by eliminating our positions and rewriting the job descriptions to reflect a lower education. I was able to take an early retirement and grabbed the opportunity to keep my pension, even though it's a struggle to make ends meet.
Fast forward to today, I went to Voc. Rehab., trying to find employment where I can use my degrees and not deal with age discrimination and ableism. I was told by one Voc. Rehab. counselor that (a) I am WAY OVERQUALIFIED for everything in my geographic area because of my education and (b) Age Discrimination happens but you can't prove it. I was advised to try self-employment, which I'm still doing.
The last Voc. Rehab. counselor I spoke to has been pressuring me to give up self-employment and apply for a regular job and SENDS ME A JOB ANNOUNCEMENT FOR BECOMING A SECRETARY AGAIN!
WTF?!?!?!?!?!!?!?
Frustrating, Bones! I think a lot of problems stem from a tick box mentality; people don't really connect with you or take time to hear what you're saying, they just work their way through a checklist that they can file at the end of the day and then blame you for not accepting what they're offering :) When my son was younger I had to go to the job centre on a regular basis for a 'work focused interview' which is a requirement for receiving benefits. I didn't have a problem with that at all, but their assumption was that anyone that wasn't working lacked basic skills or qualifications and this lady was trying to get me to sign up to do basic classes in English and Maths. I'm an English teacher! Then she asked if I'd be interested in teaching the classes on a voluntary basis which I said I'd love to do but asked if they'd cover the cost of childcare for my son as I couldn't pay it (as I wasn't working) and the answer was no. This meant I couldn't teach the classes and she wrote up on my file that I was uncooperative and hostile to suggestions for help :) So I hear ya!! Hope something (or someone!) suitable comes along at some point xx
It's so AGGRAVATING!!!! You get accused for "not cooperating" because you could NOT do what she demanded! In my situation, my counselor also tried to force me to return to freelance interpreting for the Deaf IN SPITE of my REPEATED explanations that I QUIT doing that DECADES ago because I GOT TIRED of CONSTANTLY FIGHTING FOR A PAYCHECK! I've been approached TOO MANY TIMES by people DEMANDING that I VOLUNTEER ALL THE TIME! The Voc. Rehab. Counselor attempted to deny that still occurs! I told her that I got approached TWICE during the week BEFORE our meeting with DEMANDS that I VOLUNTEER INTERPRET! When I explained, AGAIN, to those DEMANDERS that I have bills to PAY ... they changed their minds and walked away! All I got in response, from the counselor, was a blank stare!
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checking in.....
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checking in................................
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checking in.....
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If you haven't seen it, this guy is spreading such joy. Wish I had your talent, Bones.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/03/16/swedish-sign-language-interpreter-video_n_6875722.html?utm_hp_ref=good-news (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/03/16/swedish-sign-language-interpreter-video_n_6875722.html?utm_hp_ref=good-news)
Hops
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3KSKS3TTbc
One of my buddies is in this video.
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Just wanted to say 'Hi' to you Bones. I haven't been on the board in a long time and it's really good to see you here. Best, Worn
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Just wanted to say 'Hi' to you Bones. I haven't been on the board in a long time and it's really good to see you here. Best, Worn
Hi, Worn.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/good-dads-can-do-only-so-much-about-bad-moms.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/03/dear_prudence_our_daughter_in_law_posted_her_true_colors_on_an_internet.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/03/dear_prudence_my_boyfriend_has_stuffed_animals_two_dozen.html
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Found myself having to stand up to a bully who used to go to grade school with me decades ago.
He started posting Tea Bigot rhetoric on my wall, which I deleted and told him that since our opinions are diametrically opposed, I am not going to waste my energy debating him. Then he sends me a private message laced with obscenities and threats which I WILL NOT TOLERATE!!!! I reported him to the Techies in charge and then I BLOCKED him!!!!
If he thinks we are still in junior high school and that he's still the big shot.....WRONG!!!! THIS HOMEY DON'T PLAY THAT!!!!!
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/03/dear_prudence_my_sister_slept_with_her_high_school_teacher_then_married.html
Potential triggers!
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checking in...............
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/hands-off-the-snappy-or-strappy-dressers.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/strong-personalities-collide-in-casual-company-environment.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/toxic-home-or-sullen-teens.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/03/dear_prudence_my_daughter_has_small_breasts_should_i_offer_her_a_boob_job.html
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Today, Leonard Nimoy would have been 84 years old. :(
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Happy birthday Mr. Nimoy! You are greatly missed.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/alcoholic-chef-cant-stir-up-a-job.html
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Happy birthday Mr. Nimoy! You are greatly missed.
Thanks, Worn.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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Today, Leonard Nimoy would have been 84 years old. :(
(((((((((((((((((((((((Bones))))))))))))))))))))))))))) xx
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Today, Leonard Nimoy would have been 84 years old. :(
(((((((((((((((((((((((Bones))))))))))))))))))))))))))) xx
Thanks, (((((((((((((((((((((((((Tupp))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/successful-daughter-put-off-by-stingy-mom.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/successful-daughter-put-off-by-stingy-mom.html
The MIL described in the second letter sounds like she's Bat$h!t CRAZY!
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checking in........................
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It's really frustrating NOT being heard!
At a meeting, where I discussed the challenge of living in an area that is NOT pedestrian-friendly, (there's been one fatality already), and needing to plan ahead for giving up driving due to age and health-related disability issues plus not having transportation when needed at a moment's notice or in the evenings ... the response I get? "Why don't you use a bicycle? You don't look disabled."
I wish I could smack somebody!!!!!! :x
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checking in.......
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/03/dear_prudence_breast_feeding_ruined_my_sex_drive_should_i_do_it_anyway.html
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checking in.........
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/03/dear_prudence_my_brother_is_the_office_janitor.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox.html
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The second letter in Annie's Mailbox has me shaking my head. The MIL couldn't be bothered with HER parents, (sounds like my GCB) and got pissed off because SHE didn't get what SHE wanted or thought she was ENTITLED to?!? Excuse me?!?!?!? What MIL got was KARMA!
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/injured-worker-uncovers-creative-talent-as-a-career.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/04/dear_prudence_my_wife_s_sordid_sexual_past_is_haunting_me.html
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The video regarding the Fake Food Allergies describes the Queen NWomb-Donor! She was FAMOUS for doing this everywhere we went while I was a kid! After she had her stroke, and she was in a nursing home, I had the opportunity to watch her eat ALL the foods she was supposedly "allergic" to! She got busted in another LIE!
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/injured-worker-uncovers-creative-talent-as-a-career.html
This LW is living on Disability, which means he has to constantly choose between keeping a roof over his head, food on the table, obtaining necessary medications, AND having to see medical professionals on a regular basis, which insurance does NOT pay 100% for! He's already stated, CLEARLY, he CANNOT afford to buy more materials BECAUSE HE LIVES ON DISABILITY!!! And the "advice columnist" suggests he still go shopping for these items anyway?!?!? And pay for them WITH WHAT?!?!?!?!?
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checking in........................
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox.html
Once again, the advice columnists are CLUELESS! :P
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http://www.uexpress.com/sense-and-sensitivity/2015/4/4/0/language-choice-irks-mom
This parent is attempting to pull the "Do as I say, not as I do" routine and wonders WHY it backfired? :P
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checking in................
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/04/dear_prudence_i_m_raising_my_best_friend_s_kids_but_my_fiance_isn_t_sure.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/04/dear_prudence_my_late_husband_s_diary_is_full_of_desire_for_an_ex.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/4/8/fathers-noisy-lovemaking-is-pain-to
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My old car started overheating so I contacted the local mechanic to attempt to have it looked at. I sent several emails to the mechanic with the subject line: "Car Overheating". The communications kept going back and forth since the end of March where the mechanic informed me that they can arrange to have the car picked up. Today, I receive an e-mail telling me that they cannot pick up the car BECAUSE it is overheating. Excuse me, what have I been talking about FOR OVER A WEEK?!?!?! DUH?!?!?!?!
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/everyone-does-it-but-not-at-work.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/04/dear_prudence_i_m_a_divorced_man_who_wants_to_date_a_lot_without_being_a.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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It seems so hard to make one's voice heard but I think I managed to make myself heard last night at a meeting. The topic came up that during a previous meeting, another member put me on the spot by pointing me out to the entire room after I had specifically stated that I was NOT prepared to speak. What made the situation more awkward was that we were all being videotaped and I didn't want to talk....at all....during this videotaped meeting. I had stated BEFORE this meeting that I am NOT in a good place emotionally and, therefore, prefer to keep my thoughts to myself while we were being video-recorded. (The recording would end up on the Internet.) Having my request ignored really irritated me and not being able to confront this idiot, due to being videotaped added to my irritation. Last night's meeting was private so I was able to speak my mind about what was done. The person who violated my boundaries immediately started making excuses that "he didn't know"...."nobody told him", etc. The chairperson pointed out to him that he HAD BEEN TOLD...TWICE....at the start of the meeting NOT to do what he did! Then another person started trying to hand me a guilt trip for objecting and couldn't understand why I was upset. I clearly stated my reasons...AGAIN. Then the second person comments, "But....you can speak just fine. What's the problem?" I told her that the ONLY reason I managed to remain calm during that videotaped meeting was because I did NOT want my meltdown recorded and on the Internet IN PERPETUITY!!!!! I made sure to state that I felt like my boundaries were violated and I DON'T LIKE THAT! When I set a boundary, RESPECT MY BOUNDARY! The person who put me on the spot apologized to me. The second person just gave me the fish-eye but finally shut up. SHEESH!!!
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I was not in a good mood anyway as earlier in the day, I had arranged a meeting to discuss the ramifications of the damages that had occurred throughout the community where we live. The meeting was scheduled to start at 6:00 PM. I arrived at the meeting place at 5:30 PM, with the documentation in hand that was to be discussed, and WAITED UNTIL 6:30 PM with NO sign of the person showing up. I walked back to my home, which is about one to two MINUTES away to check and see if he tried to call me about an unexpected delay. (Things happen.) No sooner do I walk in my door and before I can check my caller ID, the phone rings and the dude is trying to hand me a song and dance about how he had been waiting for me for 20-30 minutes at the meeting place. I BUSTED HIS CHOPS ABOUT THAT LIE! Yeah, I was PISSED OFF!!! He back-pedaled real fast!
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checking in................
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/4/12/0/mom-threatens-to-fight-sons-silence#disqus-comments
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While reading one of the BTL comments in "Dear Abby", one of the comments sent chills up my spine. The commentator mentioned that she has a child who is allergic to peanuts and her in-laws want to "cure" him by giving him peanuts!!!!! :shock: What is WRONG with some of these people?!?!?!?!?!?
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Yesterday, I was participating in a search and rescue exercise that was being recorded by the media. At the outset, the Public Information Officer, (PIO), instructed the media NOT to approach or speak to individual participants in the search as they will be immediately directed back to the PIO; the search participants need to focus on the task at hand as we were coordinating the search using horses, bloodhounds, other breeds of dogs with a variety of skills, helicopter, police officers from different jurisdictions, and "ground-pounders". What does one member of the media do, IMMEDIATELY after the meeting with the PIO concludes?????? The member of the media walks away from the PIO to an individual searcher and asks: "Can I talk to you for a few minutes? I want to discuss some questions." The ding-dong was INSTANTLY directed BACK TO THE PIO!!!!! What part of the word "No" did this media person NOT understand?!?!?!?! GEEZ!!!! *Shaking my head* No wonder celebrities get pissed off after awhile with the media!!!!! They just do NOT understand the concept of BOUNDARIES!!!!!
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checking in........
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Sometimes, when I think I have seen or heard everything....something else comes along that has me scratching my head at the sheer STUPIDITY!!!!!! :?
I get online this morning and spot an e-mail that was sent to me after 10:30 PM last night! By then, I'm already in bed ASLEEP! In the e-mail, which happened to be from my neighbor, they explain that they have been smelling a STRONG gas smell from the neighboring unit to theirs and they are afraid it might be a gas leak!!!! Then they ask me what should they do about it?!?!?! (BTW, these neighbors sending me this e-mail had a gas leak of their own so they should KNOW the drill! What are they waiting for?!?!?! An engraved invitation or a gas explosion?!?!?!? :shock:) I sent back a reply stating: "CALL THE GAS COMPANY....NOW!!!!"
What is WRONG with some people?!?!?!?
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Some of the websites seem to be down. :P
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/04/dear_prudence_my_uncle_may_have_murdered_my_father.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/everyone-does-it-but-not-at-work.html
It looks like the article for April 16th hasn't posted yet.
http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/instituting-the-payback-plan.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/04/dear_prudence_my_uncle_may_have_murdered_my_father.html
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http://www.creators.com/lifestylefeatures/business-and-finance/at-work-lindsey-novak/surprise-complaint-about-boss-is-risky-even-with-proof-.html
Looks like this article will no longer be listed under "Advice" anymore.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox.html
At one time, I knew someone who attempted to DICTATE who I was permitted to see and where I was permitted to go! She got told to go F*** herself!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox.html
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checking in........
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I just found out that my ISP is going to be shut down, permanently, in November so I have to find another comparable ISP before then! I am PISSED OFF!!! :P
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/04/dear_prudence_my_neighbor_likes_to_cross_dress_how_do_i_interact_with_him.html
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checking in......................
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/04/dear_prudence_my_fianc_e_thinks_playing_doctor_as_a_kid_is_abuse.html
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Boy oh boy is the board quiet recently but bones is steady she goes
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Boy oh boy is the board quiet recently but bones is steady she goes
Thanks, Garbanzo.
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http://www.creators.com/lifestylefeatures/business-and-finance/at-work-lindsey-novak/focus-on-the-best-of-the-worst-since-you-cant-choose-your-boss-or-co-workers.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/04/dear_prudence_my_husband_s_aunt_seduced_him_at_16.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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checking in.........................
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Feeling LIVID this morning!!!! :evil:
I came across the LinkedIn profile of a friend of mine who had DIED in a house fire over a year ago, which was quite jolting to say the least. I informed LinkedIn that this friend has been DEAD for over a year. Their response? They ASSUMED that I wanted to close MY profile and SCREWED IT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I DEPEND on MY LinkedIn profile to advertise my business!!! Do the techies NOT know HOW TO READ?!?!?!?!?! WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/4/27/brother-with-repeat-offenses-doesnt-merit
Sounds like this brother is the "Golden Child" of the family. I don't blame the sister when she has said, "Enough is enough!"
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Feeling LIVID this morning!!!! :evil:
I came across the LinkedIn profile of a friend of mine who had DIED in a house fire over a year ago, which was quite jolting to say the least. I informed LinkedIn that this friend has been DEAD for over a year. Their response? They ASSUMED that I wanted to close MY profile and SCREWED IT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I DEPEND on MY LinkedIn profile to advertise my business!!! Do the techies NOT know HOW TO READ?!?!?!?!?! WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Ah, Bonesie, that is frustrating, I hope they get that sorted out properly now, it's hard to see how these things get misunderstood sometimes?!
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Feeling LIVID this morning!!!! :evil:
I came across the LinkedIn profile of a friend of mine who had DIED in a house fire over a year ago, which was quite jolting to say the least. I informed LinkedIn that this friend has been DEAD for over a year. Their response? They ASSUMED that I wanted to close MY profile and SCREWED IT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I DEPEND on MY LinkedIn profile to advertise my business!!! Do the techies NOT know HOW TO READ?!?!?!?!?! WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Ah, Bonesie, that is frustrating, I hope they get that sorted out properly now, it's hard to see how these things get misunderstood sometimes?!
Thanks, Tupp!
I got the feeling that whoever received my report did NOT know how to READ!!!!
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Just had an experience that has me scratching my head.
I recently read about a young girl, who had been fighting leukemia, being thrown out of a Catholic school because of her absences. I was so outraged that I sent a Private Message to the Pope and stated that this school was WRONG for punishing a child for having a life-threatening illness! I never expected any response. Much to my shock, I received a PM back from Pope Francis' FB profile. (I'm not really sure if it was really him or someone replying on his behalf. It's hard to tell.) In the course of discussing this case, I was asked how old I am! (Why is that relevant? I'm a Senior Citizen and it's rude to ask a lady her age!) Maybe it's the cultural differences between the Vatican and me. I just don't know. I wasn't born/raised Catholic so I don't have a clue!
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Feeling a LOT of anxiety right now because of the rioting going on! I can understand the anger! Martin Luther King himself said, "Riot is the language of the unheard." I had a feeling that the riots were going to happen sooner or later. I've seen this 50 years ago when the Jim Crow laws were being enforced.
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I'll never understand some people. For several days, off and on, several neighbors and I have occasionally smelled the odor of leaking gas. We pinpointed the unit it was coming from and discovered that the neighbor, who lives there, is rarely home. The local gas company was called and he confirmed that there was, indeed, the smell of leaking gas. When the neighbor's car was spotted in the parking lot, one of the neighbors knocked on his door but he REFUSED to answer! This led to property management being contacted, who, in turn, contacted the landlord, who provided access to the gas company to go into that unit and see where that gas leak was coming from. We were informed that the pilot light in the stove was out! The tenant tells the neighbors that the pilot light will go out by itself if you don't use the stove! :? Huh?!?!? In all of my years, I have NEVER heard THAT before!!! THAT is a NEW one! Given that he was RARELY home, he should have smelled SOMETHING the few times he CAME HOME! Something is rotten in Denmark!
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/04/dear_prudence_i_want_to_be_alone_even_though_i_love_my_husband.html
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http://www.creators.com/lifestylefeatures/business-and-finance/at-work-lindsey-novak/leaving-secure-job-to-start-anew-its-complicated.html
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Just received an e-mail addressed to members of CERT, which I've read four times. The e-mail seems to suggest "self-deployment" to the situation in Baltimore! I responded that my training has taught me that we do NOT self-deploy....PERIOD!!!! It's one thing to respond to an emergency, in my own community, in the aftermath of a tornado, hurricane, or earthquake. It would be INSANE to self-deploy into a riot zone WITHOUT knowing WHO is coordinating WHAT and WHERE!!!!!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox.html
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Hope you're okay, Bonesie (((((((((((((((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))))))))))))
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Hope you're okay, Bonesie (((((((((((((((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))))))))))))
Thanks, ((((((((((((((((((((Tupp))))))))))))))))
I've been having a lot of trouble being able to log in lately.
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/05/dear_prudence_a_bat_bit_me_i_also_solicited_a_prostitute.html
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still having trouble logging in.......
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http://www.creators.com/lifestylefeatures/business-and-finance/at-work-lindsey-novak/working-with-adhd-and-all-that-jazz.html
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Boy, I'm sorry I read THAT one.
:(
Hops
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Today's Annie's Mailbox is TOTALLY CLUELESS!!!! :P
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Today's Dear Abby isn't much better! We could probably do better than them!
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http://jezebel.com/a-toast-to-all-the-brave-kids-who-broke-up-with-their-t-1702954639
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Thought provoking article.......................
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It's going to be a rough day today with all the unavoidable references!!! :P
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/5/11/national-phone-registry-reduces-unwanted-calls
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/05/dear_prudence_my_mom_wants_to_change_her_last_name_to_my_husband_s.html
:P
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/05/dear_prudence_i_ve_kept_my_brother_s_suicide_note_from_my_parents.html
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http://www.creators.com/lifestylefeatures/business-and-finance/at-work-lindsey-novak.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox.html
Geez!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/5/17/1/ungrateful-houseguests-leave-bad-feelings-in#disqus-comments
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/05/dear_prudence_my_girlfriend_wants_to_disinvite_a_party_guest_who_is_grieving.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/5/19/0/husbands-caring-ministry-doesnt-extend-to#disqus-comments
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/05/dear_prudence_my_future_mother_in_law_wants_to_wear_her_wedding_dress_to.html
Oh GEEZ!!! :P
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/05/dear_prudence_my_future_mother_in_law_wants_to_wear_her_wedding_dress_to.html
Oh GEEZ!!! :P
Wow I have never heard of anyone but the bride wearing a wedding dress to a wedding! I read a lovely story a little while ago about a lady who wore her wedding dress to her and her husband's 50th wedding anniversary party - incredible that it still fitted her and what a lovely thing to have kept for all of those years. But I can't imagine anyone turning up to a wedding in a wedding dress, it just seems such an odd thing to do.
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/05/dear_prudence_my_future_mother_in_law_wants_to_wear_her_wedding_dress_to.html
Oh GEEZ!!! :P
Wow I have never heard of anyone but the bride wearing a wedding dress to a wedding! I read a lovely story a little while ago about a lady who wore her wedding dress to her and her husband's 50th wedding anniversary party - incredible that it still fitted her and what a lovely thing to have kept for all of those years. But I can't imagine anyone turning up to a wedding in a wedding dress, it just seems such an odd thing to do.
I thought it was just a WEIRD thing to do!!! ICK!!!!
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/05/dear_prudence_i_can_hear_my_boss_gossip_through_the_office_wall.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/5/22/1/girlfriends-mother-wants-daughter-to-herself#disqus-comments
I feel sorry for Kendra as it sounds like she's dealing with an NTroll!
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Had a hard time checking in this morning. I kept getting "Server Not Found" messages.
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Couldn't get in yesterday morning. Kept getting "Server Not Found" messages.
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/05/dear_prudence_do_car_salesmen_really_depend_on_5_star_reviews.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/05/dear_prudence_my_boyfriend_and_i_have_chosen_caring_for_our_sick_mothers.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/dear_prudence/2015/05/dear_prudence_my_mother_in_law_hopes_we_die.html
GEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox.html
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http://www.creators.com/lifestylefeatures/business-and-finance/at-work-lindsey-novak.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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Recuperating from attending a Cosplay convention over the weekend.
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/06/dear_prudence_our_last_name_is_occasionally_misspelled_it_drives_my_husband.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/06/dear_prudence_my_fiance_is_obsessed_with_a_fat_shaming_website.html
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http://www.creators.com/lifestylefeatures/business-and-finance/at-work-lindsey-novak.html
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While researching my genealogy database, I came across the record of my Dad's first wife. She was forced into a mental institution shortly after NWomb-Donor started an affair with my Dad. Dad's first wife spent the rest of her life labeled as an "inmate" in a mental hospital and died there in 1954. During my teen years, NWomb-Donor tried to have me labeled as "mentally ill" until she tipped her hand in front of a psychiatrist during a Narcissistic tantrum. The psychiatrist called her on her crap so she failed in forcing me out of her life, (like she did with Dad's first wife). When she couldn't persuade the psychiatrist to have me committed to a mental institution, then she attempted to set me up to be raped by her then-boyfriend, which caused him to get taken out in handcuffs! (That was when all of his previous victims came forward about how he had raped them as children and NWomb-Donor's house of cards started to topple. She suddenly lost all of her friends and couldn't understand why since their children deserved it.) Then she targeted my brother's first wife, set her up to be raped by her then-boyfriend's son, to have her forced out of the family and hoped that my brother would return home as NWomb-Donor's property. My brother did NOT come home as she hoped and manipulated for.
I couldn't help but see a pattern.....she targeted my Dad to become her possession so she attacked his first wife to get rid of her; she hated my guts since before I was born and attacked any way she could in an attempt to get rid of me; when Dad died, she targeted my brother to become her new possession and attacked his first wife to get rid of her. NWomb-Donor was one SICK and TWISTED B!TCH!!! Sociopath doesn't even come close to covering the bases!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox.html
Sounds painfully familiar.
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Feeling FRUSTRATED!!!!
I ask for assistance in locating a document and I get told to go to an organization's website and send an e-mail to a specific person. I go to the organization's website, search for the specific person and/or e-mail address and come up empty. I go back and explain that I am unable to locate the e-mail address of this specific person at the website. The response I get? "Well, go back to the website and search for this specific person's e-mail address." Now WHAT did I just finish EXPLAINING before I get THAT response? *head-desk*
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox.html
Sham graduations?
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/06/dear_prudence_parents_forcing_a_boy_to_be_a_girl_for_gender_enlightenment.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/06/dear_prudence_the_ceo_is_eating_my_lunch_literally.html
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I've gotten calls like these from scammers. When I saw THIS, I just had to share it!!! Who else has gotten calls from "Windows Support"?
Moments ago, I got a call from "Shawn from Windows support."
I asked him if he could hold on a moment.
I said, "OK, we've got his position traced. Call in the drone strike."
Then, to "Shawn," I said, "You've got about 15 seconds to evacuate you're current location. In 20 seconds, it's going to be a smoldering crater."
He said, in a somewhat panicked voice, "Sir, that is not possible."
I said, calmly, "You want to roll those dice, Shawn? It's down to 10 seconds."
He decided to hang up. It makes me wonder if he actually left the site.
They screw with me. I screw with them.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox.html
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http://www.creators.com/lifestylefeatures/business-and-finance/at-work-lindsey-novak.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/06/dear_prudence_my_daughter_s_temper_is_all_my_fault.html
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I'm feeling horror about what happened in Charleston, South Carolina and it's bringing up flashbacks to the church bombing that killed four little girls in 1963!
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Attended a club meeting last night and lost my patience with the N in the group!
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Having trouble checking in......again.......
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http://www.creators.com/lifestylefeatures/business-and-finance/at-work-lindsey-novak.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/06/dear_prudence_i_gave_my_parents_remote_access_to_our_baby_monitor_oops.html
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Hi Bones :)
I don't get on the board much these days and when I do it's not for very long so I don't get a chance to catch up on all the threads but I'm always pleased to see this mammoth one of yours still growing day to day :) Hope you are doing okay, love Tupp xx
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Hi Bones :)
I don't get on the board much these days and when I do it's not for very long so I don't get a chance to catch up on all the threads but I'm always pleased to see this mammoth one of yours still growing day to day :) Hope you are doing okay, love Tupp xx
Thanks, Tupp!!!
I'm trying to take care of me, one day at a time. I managed to piss off two people on FB because I voiced an opinion that they attempted to shut down...ON MY OWN WALL!! They both got told off! One got pissy because I insisted that the racist traitors' flag needs to come down NOW and the other got pissy because I disagreed with his paternalistic attitude toward the Deaf Community. Don't need phony "friends" like that.
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Posting some thoughts on WHAT A WEEK it has been!!!!
When I was in grade school and taking Civics classes, the First Amendment to the Constitution of the United States was one of the first things I learned. As it states: "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion...." Our Founding Fathers remembered WHY the Pilgrims left England. When Henry VIII was in power and established himself as the head of the Church of England, Catholics were often killed for practicing Catholicism. Then when his daughter, Bloody Mary, ascended the throne, she turned the tables and went after the Protestants. Our Founding Fathers learned the lesson that theocracy has NO place here, which is WHY they wrote that in the First Amendment of the Constitution of the United States...SEPARATING CHURCH AND STATE. I also remember learning the Latin phrase: "E Pluribus Unum" which translates into "Out of the Many, One". Here in the United States, we have, (in alphabetical order, NOT hierarchy), Atheists, Buddhists, Christians, Hindus, Jewish, Muslim, Pagan/Wiccan and a variety of denominations of each, (possibly inaccurate but trying to be inclusive of all variations of belief systems). The point I am trying to make is that there is a SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE for a reason. People who are attempting to force a theocracy on others, in the 21st Century, have failed to learn the lessons of history.
I may get back on my soapbox later. Having trouble sleeping right now.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/6/28/0/oldest-daughter-wants-to-avoid-celebrating#disqus-comments
Dear Abby just does NOT get it!!!!
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Hi, Bones! long time. Glad to see you are still posting.
Butterfly
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Hi, Bones! long time. Glad to see you are still posting.
Butterfly
Hi, Butterfly!
Long time no see!
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/06/dear_prudence_classic_wedding_advice_from_recent_years.html
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Was recently contacted and asked if I wanted to help plan the next high school reunion. To be blunt, I have NO interest in seeing ANY of them. None of them were friends 45 years ago and they are not friends now. The only time any of them contact me is only when they want something. After that, all I get is crickets. I have better things to do with my limited energy.
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http://www.creators.com/lifestylefeatures/business-and-finance/at-work-lindsey-novak.html
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http://www.healthline.com/health/allergies/food-allergy-parents?utm_source=taboola&utm_medium=referral&um_term=intermarkets-creatorscom
YIKES!!!!!!!
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http://www.healthline.com/health/allergies/food-allergy-parents?utm_source=taboola&utm_medium=referral&um_term=intermarkets-creatorscom
YIKES!!!!!!!
I remember when my infant godson nearly died because an imbecile REFUSED to believe that dairy allergies exist!!!!
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/07/dear_prudence_should_i_tell_people_i_might_be_dying_or_spare_everyone_the.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/7/5/marriage-to-slovenly-wife-brings-man
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can't sleep...................................................
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/07/dear_prudence_my_wife_s_college_sexual_encounters_are_haunting_me.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/07/dear_prudence_i_can_t_put_my_feet_on_the_coffee_table_according_to_my_fiance.html
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http://www.creators.com/lifestylefeatures/business-and-finance/at-work-lindsey-novak.html
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having trouble sleeping.....again........
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Had to go to the E.R. for an old problem. NOT fun! :P
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http://www.creators.com/lifestylefeatures/business-and-finance/at-work-lindsey-novak.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/7/18/dating-behind-parents-back-wont-prove
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I hate shingles! :P
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox.html
This "grandparent" wants to use "behavior modification" to FORCE a child to submit to UNWANTED touching!!!! EW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/07/dear_prudence_my_wife_is_choosing_her_son_over_my_kids_for_vacation.html
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can't sleep.
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http://www.creators.com/lifestylefeatures/business-and-finance/at-work-lindsey-novak/too-many-chefs-in-the-kitchen-follow-the-chain-of-command.html
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can't sleep.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/7/28/1/new-mom-lays-down-the-law#disqus-comments
This self-centered grandmother is an IDIOT!!!! (BTW, at the newborn age of 3-weeks, it's TOO SOON FOR VACCINATIONS!!!!) :P
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox.html
This N-MIL waits until TWO WEEKS BEFORE THE WEDDING to attempt to FORCE HER ORDERS on everyone else?!?!?! I'd tell the old Bat HELL-TO-THE-NO!!!!!
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/07/dear_prudence_classic_vacation_advice_from_recent_years.html
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checking in.......
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http://www.creators.com/lifestylefeatures/business-and-finance/at-work-lindsey-novak/keeping-current-is-critical.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/unfriendly-facebook-exchange.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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Trigger Warning!
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/once-a-bully-always-a-bully.html
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/8/1/0/jail-is-just-punishment-for-dui#disqus-comments
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Hey Bones,
How is it going?
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Hey Bones,
How is it going?
I'm sick with a case of the Shingles and it's NOT fun! I thought having Chicken Pox was bad enough but THIS?!?!?!? YUCK!!!!!
If you're old enough for the Shingles vaccine....GET IT!!!! Having Shingles is NASTY!!!!!
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OMG Bones that sucks :( Sorry to hear that. Ouch :(
Did the doctor say how much longer it will go on for?
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OMG Bones that sucks :( Sorry to hear that. Ouch :(
Did the doctor say how much longer it will go on for?
The doctor says it could take two weeks to a month to clear up.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/8/4/0/grandma-feels-disrespected-when-her-advice#disqus-comments
Trigger warning!
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can't sleep.
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hate shingles and the damn rash from it!!!!
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Trigger warning!!!
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/8/9/1/family-insists-woman-be-there-for#disqus-comments
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After having to deal with Shingles for a month, I'm in a FOUL mood! Then an idiot comments to me: "Well, take some antibiotics...that should take care of the Chicken Pox Virus." Antibiotics deal with BACTERIA....NOT viruses!!!!! I have ZERO patience for STUPIDITY right now!!!!
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:) Hi Bones
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:) Hi Bones
Hi.
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http://www.creators.com/lifestylefeatures/business-and-finance/at-work-lindsey-novak/handle-the-bad-and-appreciate-the-good.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/clingy-mother-crowds-relationship-.html
This would be the Mother-in-law-FROM HELL!!!
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How is the ailment going Bones?
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How is the ailment going Bones?
Still got the Shingles.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/8/15/0/friend-drafted-as-photographer-gets-harsh#disqus-comments
This bridezilla sounds like an N!
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One of the things I find aggravating is that, while dealing with a serious illness, some people seem to think that they are entitled to make decisions FOR you WITHOUT bothering to discuss those decisions WITH you!!!! Then they wonder WHY you have the NERVE to get annoyed because, after all, they KNOW what is best FOR you!! :P Excuse me?!?!?!?! BACK UP!!!!
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Having to be cooped up in self-quarantine so that I don't expose others to the Shingles or Chicken Pox virus while it's active has given me more time to do genealogy research online. I also got a HUGE surprise that I NEVER, in my WILDEST dreams EVER expected!!! I wish my Dad was alive so that I could share it with him!!!! I'm sure he would have been THRILLED!!!
I don't know if I had mentioned this before, but I submitted my DNA to a genealogy project over a year ago and I occasionally receive notifications about DNA matches. (It did lead to an AWKWARD situation when the genealogy project put me in contact with some relatives that I had been NC for awhile and now they have been placed on NC again.)
This past week, I received another notification about another DNA match so, out of curiosity, I checked it out. When I looked at the other family tree, the first thing I noticed was a family name, from the 1700's, that is also in my tree. I click on the link and a name, from the 1700's, pops up and it's in the EXACT same area as what is in my family tree!!! Then I click to see this person's full family tree and see that this ancestor's name is connected to my 5th great-grandparents!!!! This person, in this new DNA match, is a sister to my 4th great-grandmother! I also started to look through all the descendants. (After being burned by dealing with N-relatives that I had to place back on NC, I tend to be a bit more cautious so I check more thoroughly.) One of the descendants has a picture attached and I recognized the name of a celebrity from my parents' generation, which made me do a double-take!!!! My initial reaction was ... "HUH?!?!?" When I saw a link where I could send the tree's owner a message, I clicked on that to discuss my 4th great-grandmother and this person's ancestor from the same family. Turns out that the owner is the celebrity's SON, who is a celebrity in his own right and that it turns out we are 4th cousins!!!
All I could do was sit there with my jaw on the floor ... absolutely speechless!!!!!
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Hum, small world it seems. Sounds like you are making good use of your time. I never knew that there was a genetic genealogy bank or whatever. I think I am too shy to contact distant relatives. Its really fascinating though how quickly the world changes. Just a few generations ago I think most of my relatives were farmers.
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Hum, small world it seems. Sounds like you are making good use of your time. I never knew that there was a genetic genealogy bank or whatever. I think I am too shy to contact distant relatives. Its really fascinating though how quickly the world changes. Just a few generations ago I think most of my relatives were farmers.
A few generations ago, most of the ancestors were either farmers or hunters/gatherers.
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/08/dear_prudence_live_chat_for_aug_17_2015.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/tacky-family-usurps-wedding-.html
Sounds like an N.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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http://www.creators.com/lifestylefeatures/business-and-finance/at-work-lindsey-novak.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/08/dear_prudence_my_husband_had_an_affair_with_a_man_who_just_died.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/bitterness-and-babysitting-.html
Another N-mother-in-law from hell who insists on being THE QUEEN #$%^ of the UNIVERSE!
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can't sleep.
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Need to vent!!!
I've been dealing with Shingles for over a month, living with nerve damage and pain from it, so I am NOT in the best of moods! I had to go to the grocery as the pantry was running on empty. While at the grocery, I encounter an acquaintance who wants me to participate in a social event, this weekend, that requires stamina that I don't have right now. I explained that I've been ill for over a month and I'm not up to socializing yet. His response? "But you're out of your house now!" What part of the concept, "NEEDING FOOD" is NOT understood?!?!? :P It was all I could do to bite my tongue and NOT flick off on him!!!!
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Need to vent!!!
I've been dealing with Shingles for over a month, living with nerve damage and pain from it, so I am NOT in the best of moods! I had to go to the grocery as the pantry was running on empty. While at the grocery, I encounter an acquaintance who wants me to participate in a social event, this weekend, that requires stamina that I don't have right now. I explained that I've been ill for over a month and I'm not up to socializing yet. His response? "But you're out of your house now!" What part of the concept, "NEEDING FOOD" is NOT understood?!?!? :P It was all I could do to bite my tongue and NOT flick off on him!!!!
Aw, Bones, people like that drive me mad! I get it with my son: "Well, he looks okay at the minute" - that's because he's been in bed for three days recuperating! I find those are the times when I love someone to say "oh gosh, is there anything I can do to help?". It's so appreciated, even if there's nothing they can do, because it makes you feel heard and that you matter. You did well to bite your tongue, I tend to be rude :) I hope you start to feel better soon xx
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/tacky-family-usurps-wedding-.html
Sounds like an N.
My older sister got married last week, second marriage for her and her new hubby, very small, very simple, register office and then the pub afterwards and the nicest thing about it was that no-one else from our family was there so no drama, just a group of people chatting and having a nice time. Never happens if my mum is around :)
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Need to vent!!!
I've been dealing with Shingles for over a month, living with nerve damage and pain from it, so I am NOT in the best of moods! I had to go to the grocery as the pantry was running on empty. While at the grocery, I encounter an acquaintance who wants me to participate in a social event, this weekend, that requires stamina that I don't have right now. I explained that I've been ill for over a month and I'm not up to socializing yet. His response? "But you're out of your house now!" What part of the concept, "NEEDING FOOD" is NOT understood?!?!? :P It was all I could do to bite my tongue and NOT flick off on him!!!!
Aw, Bones, people like that drive me mad! I get it with my son: "Well, he looks okay at the minute" - that's because he's been in bed for three days recuperating! I find those are the times when I love someone to say "oh gosh, is there anything I can do to help?". It's so appreciated, even if there's nothing they can do, because it makes you feel heard and that you matter. You did well to bite your tongue, I tend to be rude :) I hope you start to feel better soon xx
Thanks, Tupp!!
I have ZERO patience for idiots who think that people with Invisible Disabilities "should just suck it up" and do what they want! Karma is gonna get 'em!
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/tacky-family-usurps-wedding-.html
Sounds like an N.
My older sister got married last week, second marriage for her and her new hubby, very small, very simple, register office and then the pub afterwards and the nicest thing about it was that no-one else from our family was there so no drama, just a group of people chatting and having a nice time. Never happens if my mum is around :)
I understand!!!! I remember when my brother got married the first time and the NWomb-Donor made an A$$ out of herself at the reception! :P
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http://www.creators.com/lifestylefeatures/business-and-finance/at-work-lindsey-novak.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/tacky-family-usurps-wedding-.html
Sounds like an N.
My older sister got married last week, second marriage for her and her new hubby, very small, very simple, register office and then the pub afterwards and the nicest thing about it was that no-one else from our family was there so no drama, just a group of people chatting and having a nice time. Never happens if my mum is around :)
I understand!!!! I remember when my brother got married the first time and the NWomb-Donor made an A$$ out of herself at the reception! :P
Ha ha, they can be relied upon to do what you expect! My mum is fine at weddings of people she doesn't know all that well but I think it's very telling that of her six children/step-children, none have actually had weddings that family were invited to! The tendency is to go off quietly and just do it without anyone knowing, it's much easier. My sister's a romantic, always wanted a real Cinderella type wedding but the first time she got married they just had two witnesses and they were so skint she wore a dress that she paid £8 for. This time she had a beautiful dress, a small group of friends, a fancy car to take her there and a nice meal afterwards. She looked really happy :) I think some people need to remember it's the bride that's supposed to be the star of the show, not the mum or the mum-in-law!
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/tacky-family-usurps-wedding-.html
Sounds like an N.
My older sister got married last week, second marriage for her and her new hubby, very small, very simple, register office and then the pub afterwards and the nicest thing about it was that no-one else from our family was there so no drama, just a group of people chatting and having a nice time. Never happens if my mum is around :)
I understand!!!! I remember when my brother got married the first time and the NWomb-Donor made an A$$ out of herself at the reception! :P
Ha ha, they can be relied upon to do what you expect! My mum is fine at weddings of people she doesn't know all that well but I think it's very telling that of her six children/step-children, none have actually had weddings that family were invited to! The tendency is to go off quietly and just do it without anyone knowing, it's much easier. My sister's a romantic, always wanted a real Cinderella type wedding but the first time she got married they just had two witnesses and they were so skint she wore a dress that she paid £8 for. This time she had a beautiful dress, a small group of friends, a fancy car to take her there and a nice meal afterwards. She looked really happy :) I think some people need to remember it's the bride that's supposed to be the star of the show, not the mum or the mum-in-law!
Exactly!!!
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Need to vent!!!
I've been dealing with Shingles for over a month, living with nerve damage and pain from it, so I am NOT in the best of moods! I had to go to the grocery as the pantry was running on empty. While at the grocery, I encounter an acquaintance who wants me to participate in a social event, this weekend, that requires stamina that I don't have right now. I explained that I've been ill for over a month and I'm not up to socializing yet. His response? "But you're out of your house now!" What part of the concept, "NEEDING FOOD" is NOT understood?!?!? :P It was all I could do to bite my tongue and NOT flick off on him!!!!
Aw, Bones, people like that drive me mad! I get it with my son: "Well, he looks okay at the minute" - that's because he's been in bed for three days recuperating! I find those are the times when I love someone to say "oh gosh, is there anything I can do to help?". It's so appreciated, even if there's nothing they can do, because it makes you feel heard and that you matter. You did well to bite your tongue, I tend to be rude :) I hope you start to feel better soon xx
Thanks, Tupp!!
I have ZERO patience for idiots who think that people with Invisible Disabilities "should just suck it up" and do what they want! Karma is gonna get 'em!
I know, Bones, it's an odd attitude, isn't it? I've had people say to me that things used to be worse for disabled people so we shouldn't complain, as if being disabled in some way means you are a second class citizen and that not having the same opportunities is just something you ought to accept instead of wanting/demanding/expecting the same rights as everyone else. I'm currently involved in a complaint with a bank that refused my son an account because of his disability. It isn't the end of the world that he can't have this account, he has others so it's not that he can't have an account at all, but I fail to see why he should be offered a lesser range of accounts because he has learning difficulties. It puts him at a financial disadvantage so I'm pursuing it as a point of principle, but a lot of people have the attitude that I should just accept he doesn't have the same opportunities as a non disabled person would. I think it's wrong! I hope you're getting a chance to rest up Bonesi, shingles takes it out of you. Was it brought on by stress? i can't remember if I read that was one of the triggers or if that was for something else, my memory is getting so bad these days I have to keep writing everything down :) xx
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/8/28/1/wedding-dress-alterations-cause-rift-between#disqus-comments
shaking my head.........
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Need to vent!!!
I've been dealing with Shingles for over a month, living with nerve damage and pain from it, so I am NOT in the best of moods! I had to go to the grocery as the pantry was running on empty. While at the grocery, I encounter an acquaintance who wants me to participate in a social event, this weekend, that requires stamina that I don't have right now. I explained that I've been ill for over a month and I'm not up to socializing yet. His response? "But you're out of your house now!" What part of the concept, "NEEDING FOOD" is NOT understood?!?!? :P It was all I could do to bite my tongue and NOT flick off on him!!!!
Aw, Bones, people like that drive me mad! I get it with my son: "Well, he looks okay at the minute" - that's because he's been in bed for three days recuperating! I find those are the times when I love someone to say "oh gosh, is there anything I can do to help?". It's so appreciated, even if there's nothing they can do, because it makes you feel heard and that you matter. You did well to bite your tongue, I tend to be rude :) I hope you start to feel better soon xx
Thanks, Tupp!!
I have ZERO patience for idiots who think that people with Invisible Disabilities "should just suck it up" and do what they want! Karma is gonna get 'em!
I know, Bones, it's an odd attitude, isn't it? I've had people say to me that things used to be worse for disabled people so we shouldn't complain, as if being disabled in some way means you are a second class citizen and that not having the same opportunities is just something you ought to accept instead of wanting/demanding/expecting the same rights as everyone else. I'm currently involved in a complaint with a bank that refused my son an account because of his disability. It isn't the end of the world that he can't have this account, he has others so it's not that he can't have an account at all, but I fail to see why he should be offered a lesser range of accounts because he has learning difficulties. It puts him at a financial disadvantage so I'm pursuing it as a point of principle, but a lot of people have the attitude that I should just accept he doesn't have the same opportunities as a non disabled person would. I think it's wrong! I hope you're getting a chance to rest up Bonesi, shingles takes it out of you. Was it brought on by stress? i can't remember if I read that was one of the triggers or if that was for something else, my memory is getting so bad these days I have to keep writing everything down :) xx
Thanks, Tupp.
That bank is WRONG to discriminate against your son and I hope you prevail! That odd attitude is an OLD attitude that needs to be changed, especially in the 21st Century. I could get on a soapbox but it's 3:30 in the morning here and it's best to wait until my first cup of coffee before making any speeches.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/snowbirds-driven-to-the-edge-.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/8/30/1/friend-loses-her-place-at-dinner#disqus-comments
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For decades, I was constantly reminded that I could never be "good enough" for anything and called out of my name. Now, these same idiots suddenly want to "play nice"?!?!? My attitude toward them is this: "Y'all had SEVERAL DECADES to treat me like a human being and as family. All those years, y'all treated me as if I was NOTHING but a pile of worthless $%^#! You couldn't be bothered to act decent then. I can't be bothered to be interested in y'all now. Do yourselves a favor, lose my contact information, get lost, stay lost, and F**K OFF!!!"
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http://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-08-30/oliver-sacks-neurologist-and-author-dies-aged-82/6736246
R.I.P.
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For decades, I was constantly reminded that I could never be "good enough" for anything and called out of my name. Now, these same idiots suddenly want to "play nice"?!?!? My attitude toward them is this: "Y'all had SEVERAL DECADES to treat me like a human being and as family. All those years, y'all treated me as if I was NOTHING but a pile of worthless $%^#! You couldn't be bothered to act decent then. I can't be bothered to be interested in y'all now. Do yourselves a favor, lose my contact information, get lost, stay lost, and F**K OFF!!!"
I feel the same, Bonesie! I've had another incident of 'friends' over the weekend changing plans at the last minute which meant my son and I couldn't go. I've explained till I'm blue in the face about his problems and how we can't just rush off doing stuff, it has to be planned and then the plans stuck to! But they either don't understand or don't care, I don't know which, but I'm tired of making allowances - like you, I want people that can, at the very least, be polite and considerate. And yep, all my family had multiple opportunities to do something when we were kids, even if was just being the one that took us out for an ice cream, you know? But none of them bothered. Go where you're celebrated, not where you're tolerated - that's what keeps going through my head now. I hope they all stop pestering/bothering you soon, it's very draining having to deal with people you don't want to have around.
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For decades, I was constantly reminded that I could never be "good enough" for anything and called out of my name. Now, these same idiots suddenly want to "play nice"?!?!? My attitude toward them is this: "Y'all had SEVERAL DECADES to treat me like a human being and as family. All those years, y'all treated me as if I was NOTHING but a pile of worthless $%^#! You couldn't be bothered to act decent then. I can't be bothered to be interested in y'all now. Do yourselves a favor, lose my contact information, get lost, stay lost, and F**K OFF!!!"
I feel the same, Bonesie! I've had another incident of 'friends' over the weekend changing plans at the last minute which meant my son and I couldn't go. I've explained till I'm blue in the face about his problems and how we can't just rush off doing stuff, it has to be planned and then the plans stuck to! But they either don't understand or don't care, I don't know which, but I'm tired of making allowances - like you, I want people that can, at the very least, be polite and considerate. And yep, all my family had multiple opportunities to do something when we were kids, even if was just being the one that took us out for an ice cream, you know? But none of them bothered. Go where you're celebrated, not where you're tolerated - that's what keeps going through my head now. I hope they all stop pestering/bothering you soon, it's very draining having to deal with people you don't want to have around.
Thanks, Tupp!!!
You're right, it IS draining when you have to deal with idiots who won't listen!
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checking in........................
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/08/dear_prudence_live_chat_for_aug_31_2015.html
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checking in.........................................
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checking in...............................................
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/boring-boss-blathers.html
Sounds familiar...................... :P
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/9/3/man-is-devastated-to-learn-of
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http://www.creators.com/lifestylefeatures/business-and-finance/at-work-lindsey-novak.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/09/dear_prudence_my_best_friend_died_in_the_second_grade_i_want_to_remember.html
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:| Hi Bones :)
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:| Hi Bones :)
Hi.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/disrespectful-friend-is-troubling.html
Sounds familiar.....................................................................
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http://www.creators.com/lifestylefeatures/business-and-finance/at-work-lindsey-novak/how-to-save-a-department-from-a-bad-boss.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
Today's letter sounds like it was written by an N and she is BAT$HIT!!!!! :P
The comments below the letter speaks volumes!
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/9/10/0/daughters-unite-in-resisting-moms-domineering#disqus-comments
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/preschool-prejudices.html
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I'm not sure if its good or bad to send a two year old to preschool but I find it odd that the grandfather would become so adamantly opposed to it. Montessori schools tend to have pretty good reputations.
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I'm not sure if its good or bad to send a two year old to preschool but I find it odd that the grandfather would become so adamantly opposed to it. Montessori schools tend to have pretty good reputations.
I would think so. Besides, the both parents are working so the child would have to be in some sort of daycare anyway.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/9/13/man-told-to-hold-his-tongue
Sounds like my stupid ex-Nbrother-in-law.
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:|
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Anyone here have experiences with multiple kidney stones?
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Me, Bones. They hurt like hell. I hope you are receiving treatment to ease the pain. By the time you read this, I hope it's over. I've been told lately that the blood that is apt to come with the passing of the stone can cause infections in and of itself. Be careful!
Wishing and praying the best for you.
tt
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Me, Bones. They hurt like hell. I hope you are receiving treatment to ease the pain. By the time you read this, I hope it's over. I've been told lately that the blood that is apt to come with the passing of the stone can cause infections in and of itself. Be careful!
Wishing and praying the best for you.
tt
Thanks, TT.
The last time I went to the ER with the kidney stones, they tried to give me Oxycontin, which I CANNOT take! I've been making do with Bentyl to control the spasms.
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Yeah, that OXY is baaaad medicine. It makes me sick. Sick on sick isn't good!
tt
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Yeah, that OXY is baaaad medicine. It makes me sick. Sick on sick isn't good!
tt
Plus OXY is VERY ADDICTIVE!!!!
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/09/dear_prudence_my_friend_s_wife_stays_home_and_berates_him_while_he_works.html
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hi bones how are ya ?
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hi bones how are ya ?
Still dealing with Shingles and kidney stones.
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http://www.creators.com/lifestylefeatures/business-and-finance/at-work-lindsey-novak/boss-lies-in-performance-review-employee-retaliates.html
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Been in the hospital for two days.
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Been in the hospital for two days.
Sorry to read this Bones, I hope they were able to make things a little better for you (((((((((((((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))))))))))))))
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Been in the hospital for two days.
Sorry to read this Bones, I hope they were able to make things a little better for you (((((((((((((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))))))))))))))
It's not over yet. I have to schedule a lithotripsy procedure.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/9/21/0/couples-adoption-of-foster-child-causes#disqus-comments
Sounds like an N.
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Bones - the Champion. Hang in there dear. Sorry for all the pain and suffering. Blessings on you.
tt
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Bones - the Champion. Hang in there dear. Sorry for all the pain and suffering. Blessings on you.
tt
Thanks, TT.
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/09/dear_prudence_my_son_s_name_has_an_unfortunate_meaning_in_our_new_country.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/domestic-troubles-worry-grandfather.html
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checking in.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/9/25/1/recovering-alcoholic-opts-out-of-wedding#disqus-comments
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When one is hit with a serious illness, suddenly you find out who your friends are NOT!!!!!
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When one is hit with a serious illness, suddenly you find out who your friends are NOT!!!!!
Aw Bones I feel for you, I've found over the years that I've got some little diamond friends but the majority just vanished - so upsetting and hurtful, particularly when you're in a difficult place yourself. People have said to me many times that it's better to know and it leaves space for new friends, which is true, but it still hurts an awful lot. I just saw your other post about needing another procedure now, takes so long to sort health problems out sometimes. Do you know when the next thing will happen yet or are you still waiting for a date? Lots of love xx
((((((((((((((((Bones))))))))))))))))))))))
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When one is hit with a serious illness, suddenly you find out who your friends are NOT!!!!!
Aw Bones I feel for you, I've found over the years that I've got some little diamond friends but the majority just vanished - so upsetting and hurtful, particularly when you're in a difficult place yourself. People have said to me many times that it's better to know and it leaves space for new friends, which is true, but it still hurts an awful lot. I just saw your other post about needing another procedure now, takes so long to sort health problems out sometimes. Do you know when the next thing will happen yet or are you still waiting for a date? Lots of love xx
((((((((((((((((Bones))))))))))))))))))))))
Thanks, ((((((((((((((((((((Tupp))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
The doctor's office won't even schedule anything until I'm able to find a reliable friend to accompany me. They just can't imagine someone without any family.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/the-prince-and-the-pauper.html
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When one is hit with a serious illness, suddenly you find out who your friends are NOT!!!!!
Aw Bones I feel for you, I've found over the years that I've got some little diamond friends but the majority just vanished - so upsetting and hurtful, particularly when you're in a difficult place yourself. People have said to me many times that it's better to know and it leaves space for new friends, which is true, but it still hurts an awful lot. I just saw your other post about needing another procedure now, takes so long to sort health problems out sometimes. Do you know when the next thing will happen yet or are you still waiting for a date? Lots of love xx
((((((((((((((((Bones))))))))))))))))))))))
Thanks, ((((((((((((((((((((Tupp))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
The doctor's office won't even schedule anything until I'm able to find a reliable friend to accompany me. They just can't imagine someone without any family.
I hope someone turns up, Bones, most people assume that there's family, people always find it odd when I say there isn't anyone (although I must say some people I know have family who are a nightmare and do more harm than good!). I had a similar situation with my son a while back, no-one to sit with him while I had something done, funnily enough someone I hardly knew offered to do it and we've become good friends since. I hope someone similar pops up for you xx
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When one is hit with a serious illness, suddenly you find out who your friends are NOT!!!!!
Aw Bones I feel for you, I've found over the years that I've got some little diamond friends but the majority just vanished - so upsetting and hurtful, particularly when you're in a difficult place yourself. People have said to me many times that it's better to know and it leaves space for new friends, which is true, but it still hurts an awful lot. I just saw your other post about needing another procedure now, takes so long to sort health problems out sometimes. Do you know when the next thing will happen yet or are you still waiting for a date? Lots of love xx
((((((((((((((((Bones))))))))))))))))))))))
Thanks, ((((((((((((((((((((Tupp))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
The doctor's office won't even schedule anything until I'm able to find a reliable friend to accompany me. They just can't imagine someone without any family.
I hope someone turns up, Bones, most people assume that there's family, people always find it odd when I say there isn't anyone (although I must say some people I know have family who are a nightmare and do more harm than good!). I had a similar situation with my son a while back, no-one to sit with him while I had something done, funnily enough someone I hardly knew offered to do it and we've become good friends since. I hope someone similar pops up for you xx
Thanks, Tupp!!!
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"The doctor's office won't even schedule anything until I'm able to find a reliable friend to accompany me. They just can't imagine someone without any family."
Hi Bones,
If I were there, I would take you--as I'm sure others would on this Board. I am so sorry you are going through this...
Richard
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"The doctor's office won't even schedule anything until I'm able to find a reliable friend to accompany me. They just can't imagine someone without any family."
Hi Bones,
If I were there, I would take you--as I'm sure others would on this Board. I am so sorry you are going through this...
Richard
Thanks, Richard!
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can't sleep.
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checking in........
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/religious-differences-dividing-family.html
The comments below the line sound more intelligent than the "Annie's".
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http://www.creators.com/lifestylefeatures/business-and-finance/at-work-lindsey-novak.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/09/dear_prudence_my_disturbed_friend_still_wants_to_go_on_a_cruise.html
YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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:) Hi Bones. How are you doing?
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:) Hi Bones. How are you doing?
Still trying to hang in there.
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Yah I know what you mean I think.
Did you get over the shingles?
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Yah I know what you mean I think.
Did you get over the shingles?
I'm still having Chicken Pox symptoms on top of dealing with a kidney stone. NOT a fun combination!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/obnoxious-neighbor.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/10/dear_prudence_another_couple_gave_their_baby_a_name_close_to_ours.html
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http://www.creators.com/lifestylefeatures/business-and-finance/at-work-lindsey-novak.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/10/dear_prudence_i_m_dating_my_boss_he_wants_to_tell_the_company.html
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Hi Bones
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Hi Bones
Hi Garbanzo.
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checking in.
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Having lithotripsy this morning.
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http://www.creators.com/lifestylefeatures/business-and-finance/at-work-lindsey-novak.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/10/15/0/widower-tells-mom-to-butt-out#disqus-comments
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Having lithotripsy this morning.
Bonesie, I don't know what this is but I hope it is something that will go someway to helping your current health problems improve? I hope it has gone to plan at least xx
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Having lithotripsy this morning.
Bonesie, I don't know what this is but I hope it is something that will go someway to helping your current health problems improve? I hope it has gone to plan at least xx
Thanks, Tupp.
The procedure is actually called Extracorporeal Shock Wave Lithotripsy which is designed to break up kidney stones. Now the waiting game for the fragments has begun.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/10/16/1/mans-sister-lets-loose-with-list#disqus-comments
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/visiting-hours-are-now-open.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/10/dear_prudence_my_boyfriend_practiced_bestiality_as_a_teenager.html
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This Narcissist got what she deserved!! ZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NgFhJN4H0T0
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http://www.hrtwarming.com/rich-woman-tries-to-embarrass-this-partially-deaf-server-then-this-happened/
I LOVE it when a Narcissist gets a ROYAL SMACK-DOWN!!!!!!
BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:D
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox.html
Today's letter sounds familiar and it looks like the advice columnists AND the BTL comments don't get it!
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http://www.creators.com/lifestylefeatures/business-and-finance/at-work-lindsey-novak.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/10/23/0/paying-grandma-for-child-care-becomes#disqus-comments
The whinging ex sounds like an N!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/10/24/2/friends-dog-is-off-the-guest#disqus-comments
Geez!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/10/24/1/girls-epilepsy-causes-stress-for-older#disqus-comments
This situation reminds me of an experience I had when I was still in elementary school. One of my classmates, who's a month older than me, was also born a preemie like me. In her case, she was given too much oxygen which caused her to become totally blind. Fast forward to elementary school and all the adults indulged her every whim because they all felt sorry for her. As a result, her behavior became quite obnoxious while the rest of us were being punished for doing what she was doing. To add insult to injury, when several of us kids ask why was she getting away with stuff that WE were being punished for, we got told we should feel sorry for her because she's blind! I was also struggling with birth defects of my own and I was NOT being given ANY free rides so I thought the teachers' excuses were all BS! Then, to make matters worse, each of us had to be assigned to be this kid's guide during recess where the assignee of the day ended up getting physically abused, which was WRONG FROM THE GET-GO! When it was my turn, again, and she started pulling my arm out of its socket, I got fed up with the pain and told her to knock it off! She responded with, "How dare you yell at me?!?! I'm BLIND!" By this point, I was mad and I yelled louder that she may be blind but she's NOT STUPID!!! I told her that I don't like getting hurt the way she was hurting me and she can't go through life hurting people! Sooner or later, she was going to find herself in a situation where people were going to try to take things away from her because they won't see her as capable. Then I turned around and left her on the playground. The teacher tried to force me to apologize and I refused. At the PTA meeting, the blind classmate's mother complained about what I said and I still refused to apologize. Strangely enough, NWomb-Donor left me alone instead of beating the crap out of me as she usually did.
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http://www.timjlawrence.com/blog/2015/10/19/everything-doesnt-happen-for-a-reason
This article is quite thought-provoking!
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/10/dear_prudence_my_obstetrician_is_anti_abortion.html
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Hello Bones
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Hello Bones
Hi Garbanzo.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox.html
Today's letter is about the Monster-in-law from HELL!!! :P
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http://www.creators.com/lifestylefeatures/business-and-finance/at-work-lindsey-novak.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/10/30/small-investment-in-smoke-alarms-reaps
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:)
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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:)
:)
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http://www.timjlawrence.com/blog/2015/10/19/everything-doesnt-happen-for-a-reason
This article is quite thought-provoking!
I found this on Facebook earlier in the week. I guess nobody noticed. Se la vie.
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:P :(
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/10/dear_prudence_my_doctor_father_in_law_is_being_icky_about_my_pregnancy.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/11/dear_prudence_i_want_to_report_my_teenage_neighbor_s_underage_sex.html
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Between the physical and emotional crap going on, my thoughts are taking a very dark turn........
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:P
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Between the physical and emotional crap going on, my thoughts are taking a very dark turn........
Aw, Bones. I'm sorry to read that. Health problems are so hard to manage, and then the emotional stuff on top, it can add up to a very difficult load to carry very quickly. Where are you at with it now, are you still waiting for your next procedure? xxx
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Between the physical and emotional crap going on, my thoughts are taking a very dark turn........
Aw, Bones. I'm sorry to read that. Health problems are so hard to manage, and then the emotional stuff on top, it can add up to a very difficult load to carry very quickly. Where are you at with it now, are you still waiting for your next procedure? xxx
Thanks, Tupp.
I have to go in for more X-Rays because the fragments have not come out yet and I'm not sure where they are rattling around. The medical bills are piling in and they're more than my pension can handle!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/11/5/0/daughter-avoids-moms-calls-after-exhausting#disqus-comments
This sounds familiar. :P
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/11/5/2/teen-should-go-on-strike-until
Reminds me of the crap that NWomb-Donor tried once and I said "No!" ..... "But, but, but, you're family!!!! What do you mean WE should pay for gas?" (This was when she was demanding I be the FREE family taxicab and take her and her sister on a 200 mile round trip to see someone they've HATED for YEARS because they no longer had fresh dirt to gossip about! NWomb-donor was DEMANDING that I pay ALL the costs out of MY pocket!)
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Recently attended my high school Reunion. Some parts were fun, other parts were obnoxious!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/11/5/0/daughter-avoids-moms-calls-after-exhausting#disqus-comments
This sounds familiar. :P
Was reading through the responses as well, isn't it sad how many screwed up, miserable people there are around, so many problems and so much baggage and so many trying to deal with their own stuff and other people's, what a crazy world we live in.
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Recently attended my high school Reunion. Some parts were fun, other parts were obnoxious!
You're brave, Bones, I've always avoided mine, there are about four people that I'd like to see and dozens that I'm happy never to see again. I never really liked school although there were a few people I wish I had made more effort to keep in touch with over the years.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/11/5/0/daughter-avoids-moms-calls-after-exhausting#disqus-comments
This sounds familiar. :P
Was reading through the responses as well, isn't it sad how many screwed up, miserable people there are around, so many problems and so much baggage and so many trying to deal with their own stuff and other people's, what a crazy world we live in.
So true!
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Recently attended my high school Reunion. Some parts were fun, other parts were obnoxious!
You're brave, Bones, I've always avoided mine, there are about four people that I'd like to see and dozens that I'm happy never to see again. I never really liked school although there were a few people I wish I had made more effort to keep in touch with over the years.
Thanks, Tupp. I'm not sure if I will go to future reunions. I hate feeling alone in a crowd.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/too-intelligent-to-need-training.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/11/dear_prudence_my_atheist_husband_takes_over_thanksgiving_grace.html
This jacka$$ sounds like an N!!!!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/11/9/husbands-long-tresses-are-stressing-his
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/11/dear_prudence_emily_yoffe_on_the_joy_of_giving_advice_and_why_she_is_drawn.2.html
Emily Yoffe is leaving Dear Prudence.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/11/11/1/grandma-is-uninvited-guests-at-teens#disqus-comments
Sounds familiar! :P
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/talk-about-training-and-advancement-before-taking-the-job.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/11/12/1/family-balks-when-thanksgiving-hostess-throws#disqus-comments
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/11/dear_prudence_emily_yoffe_says_goodbye.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/11/12/1/family-balks-when-thanksgiving-hostess-throws#disqus-comments
Reminds me of the crap that got thrown at me when I was "invited" to a "family gathering". When I called to RSVP the invitation, that was when I was ORDERED to criss-cross the county picking up THEIR friends FOR them! (I did NOT know ANY of these people and NONE of them lived anywhere near me!) I replied, "Sorry, no, I am not doing that." That's when I got cussed at, called more names, and told that I was DISINVITED! I didn't care! Less aggravation for me.
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox.html
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Dealing with a LOT of ugly emotions! The medical bills that resulted from this kidney stone are starting to pile in and I'm struggling to be able to pay them from a fixed income. I sent a message to other members of the club, that I belong to, informing them that I can't attend their scheduled holiday party this year due to the fact that I can't afford it. One club member replies, "But ... the holidays are supposed to be FULL OF JOY!!! I wish an abundance of JOY for you!" I bit my tongue and decided not to respond to that! I was SORELY tempted to reply: "F**K OFF!!! Your comment doesn't pay the bills!" :P
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During this past weekend, I learned that there was some ugly fallout from our recent class reunion. As a committee, we had arranged for the local hotel to offer former classmates a discount for a block of rooms. Well, one of our former classmates decided to EXTEND his stay for over two weeks and REFUSED to leave! (I wouldn't be surprised that he was ordering room service, putting it on the tab, and NOT paying!) The hotel staff person called a member of the committee about this issue and the other member called me asking for my assistance in locating this person's family. I was able to find contact information and relayed this back, the local police were contacted, and this individual was finally removed from the premises. Now the hotel has to repair damages because this person TRASHED his room so badly that it is literally a bio-hazard! I was told that when the police showed up, they had to put masks on because the stench was so bad!!! :P I knew this person has issues but I never realized how bad those issues really are!
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox.html
Today's letter sounds familiar. :P
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox.html
Today's letter sounds familiar. :P
Wow, yes! I just don't understand some people :(
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Dealing with a LOT of ugly emotions! The medical bills that resulted from this kidney stone are starting to pile in and I'm struggling to be able to pay them from a fixed income. I sent a message to other members of the club, that I belong to, informing them that I can't attend their scheduled holiday party this year due to the fact that I can't afford it. One club member replies, "But ... the holidays are supposed to be FULL OF JOY!!! I wish an abundance of JOY for you!" I bit my tongue and decided not to respond to that! I was SORELY tempted to reply: "F**K OFF!!! Your comment doesn't pay the bills!" :P
People can be suprisingly lacking in understanding at difficult times and it's so hard to cope with on top of everything else that has to be coped with. I remember one particularly bad week with my son when he'd been so unwell I'd really worried he was going to end up in hospital. A friend - who knew how poorly he'd been - walked in and launched into a elaborate tale of how difficult it had been for her to get her nails done because her regular manicurist was on holiday :) I'm not as controlled as you, Bones, and I didn't bite my tongue :) x
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Dealing with a LOT of ugly emotions! The medical bills that resulted from this kidney stone are starting to pile in and I'm struggling to be able to pay them from a fixed income. I sent a message to other members of the club, that I belong to, informing them that I can't attend their scheduled holiday party this year due to the fact that I can't afford it. One club member replies, "But ... the holidays are supposed to be FULL OF JOY!!! I wish an abundance of JOY for you!" I bit my tongue and decided not to respond to that! I was SORELY tempted to reply: "F**K OFF!!! Your comment doesn't pay the bills!" :P
People can be suprisingly lacking in understanding at difficult times and it's so hard to cope with on top of everything else that has to be coped with. I remember one particularly bad week with my son when he'd been so unwell I'd really worried he was going to end up in hospital. A friend - who knew how poorly he'd been - walked in and launched into a elaborate tale of how difficult it had been for her to get her nails done because her regular manicurist was on holiday :) I'm not as controlled as you, Bones, and I didn't bite my tongue :) x
I would not have blamed you if you tossed her out on her butt!!! This "friend" was an IDIOT!!!!
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/is-your-career-your-life.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/11/20/0/aunt-weighs-responsibility-for-her-late-in-life#disqus-comments
Dear Abby is being really stupid today! :P The sister had already said "No" to raising someone else's child and she has a right to be concerned about this being sprung on her if the other sister dies suddenly before the child is 18. If I recall correctly, Michael Jackson pulled that stunt on Diana Ross. She had NO idea she was named a guardian for his three kids until after he suddenly died! She said "No" and had every right to say "No". This sister should NOT be guilted into doing something that she had already said "No" to simply because she's related by blood to her sister. Sheesh!!!!!!
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/11/dear_prudence_i_moved_for_a_job_in_dubai_but_told_my_parents_it_was_tokyo.html
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:P
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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I HATE this time of year! :P
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/11/26/mom-and-sister-join-forces-to
Sounds familiar. :P
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/11/dear_prudence_this_christmas_my_family_wants_to_screen_an_old_home_movie.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/how-to-enter-the-workforce-after-10-year-absence.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/11/27/1/poorly-handled-santa-photos-turn-holidays#disqus-comments
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/11/28/0/neighbors-make-themselves-at-home-at#disqus-comments
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/11/26/mom-and-sister-join-forces-to
Sounds familiar. :P
It's so sad that people can't focus on happy times and instead use them as another opportunity to hurt and cause confusion and upset. I'd hate to think something I said or did upset someone, under any circumstances. Which isn't to say I never do anything that does upset people, it's just that it isn't intentional and I will apologise for doing it. I can't understand why some people revel in making other people unhappy :( x
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/11/26/mom-and-sister-join-forces-to
Sounds familiar. :P
It's so sad that people can't focus on happy times and instead use them as another opportunity to hurt and cause confusion and upset. I'd hate to think something I said or did upset someone, under any circumstances. Which isn't to say I never do anything that does upset people, it's just that it isn't intentional and I will apologise for doing it. I can't understand why some people revel in making other people unhappy :( x
I don't understand either.
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/11/dear_prudence_my_college_freshman_daughter_thinks_i_m_smothering_her.html
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Had to get nasty when I received an e-mail demanding that I "suck it up", ignore my health issues, and attend a holiday get-together that I had already said "No" to! What part of the word "No" is NOT understood?!?!?! This idiot accused me of being "antisocial" and that my health issues "SHOULD" be in the past by now! I'm still facing more surgical procedures and I'm in NO mood for dealing with idiots!
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Had to get nasty when I received an e-mail demanding that I "suck it up", ignore my health issues, and attend a holiday get-together that I had already said "No" to! What part of the word "No" is NOT understood?!?!?! This idiot accused me of being "antisocial" and that my health issues "SHOULD" be in the past by now! I'm still facing more surgical procedures and I'm in NO mood for dealing with idiots!
Oh Bones, I'm so sorry, other people's lack of consideration and utter stupidity at times just leaves me cold! It's hard enough dealing with health issues and trying to 'keep your pecker up' (I don't know if that's a phrase that you use in the US but in the UK it means keeping yourself cheerful) without having to deal with these sorts of draining people as well. I now declare myself antisocial and I'm proud of it! After years of putting myself through all sorts of torment tolerating horrible people for the sake of being polite or keeping the peace I'm very glad of the fact that I'm now able to say no and avoid those I find draining or irritating (which frighteningly enough turned out to be just about everyone I knew at one point in my life!). I hope they leave you alone now and that your health settles soon. xx
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Had to get nasty when I received an e-mail demanding that I "suck it up", ignore my health issues, and attend a holiday get-together that I had already said "No" to! What part of the word "No" is NOT understood?!?!?! This idiot accused me of being "antisocial" and that my health issues "SHOULD" be in the past by now! I'm still facing more surgical procedures and I'm in NO mood for dealing with idiots!
Oh Bones, I'm so sorry, other people's lack of consideration and utter stupidity at times just leaves me cold! It's hard enough dealing with health issues and trying to 'keep your pecker up' (I don't know if that's a phrase that you use in the US but in the UK it means keeping yourself cheerful) without having to deal with these sorts of draining people as well. I now declare myself antisocial and I'm proud of it! After years of putting myself through all sorts of torment tolerating horrible people for the sake of being polite or keeping the peace I'm very glad of the fact that I'm now able to say no and avoid those I find draining or irritating (which frighteningly enough turned out to be just about everyone I knew at one point in my life!). I hope they leave you alone now and that your health settles soon. xx
Thanks, Tupp!!!
When I do socialize, I choose to be where I can be energized, like at the Drum Festival. At the same time, I'm learning what it means to be a "Spoonie" when I have to deal with limited energy, (spoons). Once my energy for the day is depleted, then I'm down for the count for several days. Dealing with A$$HOLE$ who suck energy is NOT on my agenda and I refuse to be bullied into doing anything that is detrimental to my health! F**K THAT!!!
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Had to get nasty when I received an e-mail demanding that I "suck it up", ignore my health issues, and attend a holiday get-together that I had already said "No" to! What part of the word "No" is NOT understood?!?!?! This idiot accused me of being "antisocial" and that my health issues "SHOULD" be in the past by now! I'm still facing more surgical procedures and I'm in NO mood for dealing with idiots!
Oh Bones, I'm so sorry, other people's lack of consideration and utter stupidity at times just leaves me cold! It's hard enough dealing with health issues and trying to 'keep your pecker up' (I don't know if that's a phrase that you use in the US but in the UK it means keeping yourself cheerful) without having to deal with these sorts of draining people as well. I now declare myself antisocial and I'm proud of it! After years of putting myself through all sorts of torment tolerating horrible people for the sake of being polite or keeping the peace I'm very glad of the fact that I'm now able to say no and avoid those I find draining or irritating (which frighteningly enough turned out to be just about everyone I knew at one point in my life!). I hope they leave you alone now and that your health settles soon. xx
Thanks, Tupp!!!
When I do socialize, I choose to be where I can be energized, like at the Drum Festival. At the same time, I'm learning what it means to be a "Spoonie" when I have to deal with limited energy, (spoons). Once my energy for the day is depleted, then I'm down for the count for several days. Dealing with A$$HOLE$ who suck energy is NOT on my agenda and I refuse to be bullied into doing anything that is detrimental to my health! F**K THAT!!!
Yes, I know exactly what you mean! There are people and places that I know I will come away from feeling good, and some that I know will wear me out. Some you can't avoid - like hospital appointments, for example, never an uplifting experience, but, like you, I balance it now and avoid doing other things that will tire me out as well. Socialising should be fun! I don't understand why people insist you do something you don't enjoy?! I have a group of friends who all go out together for each other's birthdays - same people, same pub, same conversation, they've been doing it for twenty years. I genuinely would rather stay at home and read a book. Took me years to feel okay about just saying no - I still see them and get them a little gift but I do it another time and it's much nicer. We should all be enjoying our lives as much as we can at any time and I think cutting out unnecessary stress is essential :) x
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Had to get nasty when I received an e-mail demanding that I "suck it up", ignore my health issues, and attend a holiday get-together that I had already said "No" to! What part of the word "No" is NOT understood?!?!?! This idiot accused me of being "antisocial" and that my health issues "SHOULD" be in the past by now! I'm still facing more surgical procedures and I'm in NO mood for dealing with idiots!
Oh Bones, I'm so sorry, other people's lack of consideration and utter stupidity at times just leaves me cold! It's hard enough dealing with health issues and trying to 'keep your pecker up' (I don't know if that's a phrase that you use in the US but in the UK it means keeping yourself cheerful) without having to deal with these sorts of draining people as well. I now declare myself antisocial and I'm proud of it! After years of putting myself through all sorts of torment tolerating horrible people for the sake of being polite or keeping the peace I'm very glad of the fact that I'm now able to say no and avoid those I find draining or irritating (which frighteningly enough turned out to be just about everyone I knew at one point in my life!). I hope they leave you alone now and that your health settles soon. xx
Thanks, Tupp!!!
When I do socialize, I choose to be where I can be energized, like at the Drum Festival. At the same time, I'm learning what it means to be a "Spoonie" when I have to deal with limited energy, (spoons). Once my energy for the day is depleted, then I'm down for the count for several days. Dealing with A$$HOLE$ who suck energy is NOT on my agenda and I refuse to be bullied into doing anything that is detrimental to my health! F**K THAT!!!
Yes, I know exactly what you mean! There are people and places that I know I will come away from feeling good, and some that I know will wear me out. Some you can't avoid - like hospital appointments, for example, never an uplifting experience, but, like you, I balance it now and avoid doing other things that will tire me out as well. Socialising should be fun! I don't understand why people insist you do something you don't enjoy?! I have a group of friends who all go out together for each other's birthdays - same people, same pub, same conversation, they've been doing it for twenty years. I genuinely would rather stay at home and read a book. Took me years to feel okay about just saying no - I still see them and get them a little gift but I do it another time and it's much nicer. We should all be enjoying our lives as much as we can at any time and I think cutting out unnecessary stress is essential :) x
Thanks, Tupp!!!!
Not everyone understands and I'm glad that you do!
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/12/dear_prudence_i_don_t_like_giving_charity_to_poor_children.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/how-to-handle-an-employee-whose-error-changes-another-employees-life.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/12/8/daughters-changing-gender-identity-baffles-her
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/12/dear_prudence_i_m_a_mixed_race_person_who_wants_to_ask_after_people_s_ethnicities.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/12/dear_prudence_my_autistic_nephew_throws_tantrums_at_christmas.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/12/dear_prudence_my_family_carries_concealed_guns_around_my_toddler_son.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/can-one-successfully-manage-millennials.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/12/dear_prudence_my_wife_gained_weight_and_we_stopped_having_sex.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/12/dear_prudence_should_i_donate_to_planned_parenthood_in_the_name_of_my_conservative.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/12/dear_prudence_should_i_dognap_my_neighbors_neglected_pup.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/catering-to-millennials-at-work-.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/12/22/0/hospital-visitors-should-practice-simple-courtesy#disqus-comments
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/12/dear_prudence_i_don_t_want_to_let_my_partner_impregnate_his_friend.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/mother-daughter-fight-leads-to-criminal-charge-and-no-job.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/12/27/dad-speaks-the-truth-and-gets
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/12/dear_prudence_my_family_has_become_manipulative_after_they_helped_me_leave.3.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/12/dear_prudence_my_family_has_become_manipulative_after_they_helped_me_leave.3.html
Aw that's horrible when you get out of one bad situation only to find yourself in another. So hard to deal with and so tiring to keep dealing with people who just behave so oddly.
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/12/dear_prudence_my_family_has_become_manipulative_after_they_helped_me_leave.3.html
Aw that's horrible when you get out of one bad situation only to find yourself in another. So hard to deal with and so tiring to keep dealing with people who just behave so oddly.
I agree!!!
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/must-you-lose-vacation-time-when-youre-busy-at-work.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/12/dear_prudence_how_do_i_get_my_brother_in_law_to_stop_peeing_on_my_bathroom.html
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I'm thinking in terms of that old comedy sketch about "One Might Be a Redneck"....
One might be a Narcissist when they insist on shutting down everyone's voices while decreeing that their word is LAW. I'm dealing with that situation in a club where the N likes to drone all night and others are speaking up about it.
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/12/dear_prudence_how_do_i_get_my_brother_in_law_to_stop_peeing_on_my_bathroom.html
Wow what is wrong with some people?! How can you not notice you've weed on someone's floor? He sounds like a dog marking out territory.
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/12/dear_prudence_how_do_i_get_my_brother_in_law_to_stop_peeing_on_my_bathroom.html
Wow what is wrong with some people?! How can you not notice you've weed on someone's floor? He sounds like a dog marking out territory.
Thanks, Tupp!!! That sounds like an accurate description!!!!
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/12/dear_prudence_how_do_i_get_my_brother_in_law_to_stop_peeing_on_my_bathroom.html
Wow what is wrong with some people?! How can you not notice you've weed on someone's floor? He sounds like a dog marking out territory.
Thanks, Tupp!!! That sounds like an accurate description!!!!
It baffles me, Bonesie! I'm not a particularly house proud person and I'm terribly untidy but I'm careful in other people's homes, even if theirs aren't terribly tidy either! It's just polite, surely? I've had someone leave a terrible mess in my bathroom before now; it happens but you tidy up after yourself! Not to mention people walking mud all the way through, spilling things and not clearing them up, someone broke my kitchen table once jumping on it when they were drunk and then denied doing it! We all do things sometimes but cleaning up and/or apologising is just basic manners, I can't get my head around it at all :shock:
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/12/dear_prudence_how_do_i_get_my_brother_in_law_to_stop_peeing_on_my_bathroom.html
Wow what is wrong with some people?! How can you not notice you've weed on someone's floor? He sounds like a dog marking out territory.
Thanks, Tupp!!! That sounds like an accurate description!!!!
It baffles me, Bonesie! I'm not a particularly house proud person and I'm terribly untidy but I'm careful in other people's homes, even if theirs aren't terribly tidy either! It's just polite, surely? I've had someone leave a terrible mess in my bathroom before now; it happens but you tidy up after yourself! Not to mention people walking mud all the way through, spilling things and not clearing them up, someone broke my kitchen table once jumping on it when they were drunk and then denied doing it! We all do things sometimes but cleaning up and/or apologising is just basic manners, I can't get my head around it at all :shock:
I know what you mean! I can't understand why some people prefer to behave like animals!
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2016/01/dear_prudence_my_daughter_wants_her_girlfriend_s_parents_to_think_they_re.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/left-the-fold-not-the-family.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/case-of-nerves-ruins-job-interviews-it-hurts-to-be-judged.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/spiteful-sister.html
Sounds familiar.......
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Going for another lithotripsy procedure tomorrow morning.
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Going for another lithotripsy procedure tomorrow morning.
I don't know what that is, Bones, but it doesn't sound like fun! I hope it goes okay and perhaps brings you some relief? xx
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Going for another lithotripsy procedure tomorrow morning.
I don't know what that is, Bones, but it doesn't sound like fun! I hope it goes okay and perhaps brings you some relief? xx
Thanks, Tupp. It's a procedure to break up kidney stones.
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How did it go, Bones? Do you know if it was a success yet or do you have to wait for a while to see? xx
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How did it go, Bones? Do you know if it was a success yet or do you have to wait for a while to see? xx
I'm still recuperating today as some of the anesthesia is still in my system.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2016/1/13/0/frustrated-mom-takes-out-her-anger#disqus-comments
Dear Abby has LOST IT!!!
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/dont-casually-sign-any-document.html
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How did it go, Bones? Do you know if it was a success yet or do you have to wait for a while to see? xx
I'm still recuperating today as some of the anesthesia is still in my system.
I hope that's out soon, Bonesie, I'm always amazed at the effect anesthetic has for such a long time afterwards so I hope it's clearing and that you'll be feeling better. Do you have to go back to the docs again or do they just leave you now to see how things go? xx
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How did it go, Bones? Do you know if it was a success yet or do you have to wait for a while to see? xx
I'm still recuperating today as some of the anesthesia is still in my system.
I hope that's out soon, Bonesie, I'm always amazed at the effect anesthetic has for such a long time afterwards so I hope it's clearing and that you'll be feeling better. Do you have to go back to the docs again or do they just leave you now to see how things go? xx
Thanks, Tupp.
I have to schedule a follow-up with the urologist.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2016/1/16/three-cats-become-a-crowd-in
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/beep-beep-cars-coming-through.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/roadblocks-to-moving-away.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2016/1/18/couples-excessive-drinking-strains-longtime-friendship
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2016/1/18/couples-excessive-drinking-strains-longtime-friendship
I can really identify with this; I've know so many people now who, when they come to my home, just seem to do whatever they want without any regard for myself or my son. There are a lot of people now that I make excuses not to see because I just don't want to listen to their drunken rambling or whatever their particular rant might be. I think it's quite boring for the other person and to be honest I'd rather read a book than listen to it :)
How are you feeling, Bonesie, do you feel any better? xx
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2016/1/18/couples-excessive-drinking-strains-longtime-friendship
I can really identify with this; I've know so many people now who, when they come to my home, just seem to do whatever they want without any regard for myself or my son. There are a lot of people now that I make excuses not to see because I just don't want to listen to their drunken rambling or whatever their particular rant might be. I think it's quite boring for the other person and to be honest I'd rather read a book than listen to it :)
How are you feeling, Bonesie, do you feel any better? xx
I hear ya, Tupp!!!
I'm slowly starting to feel human again but still waiting for the fragments to make an appearance.
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Hi, Bones,
I hope you're feeling better.
I hate it when people are in pain.
Lithotripsy's a remarkable improvement over surgery but...it's hard to deal with kidney stones.
Hope it worked and the fragments left over are too small to cause great trouble.
Hops
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Fascinating about lithotripsy, I also didn't know what it was. Had to look it up, it breaks apart the stones non-surgically with "shock waves". How the shock waves are localized to one little area I don't know, maybe they don't pin point that area.
:) Kidney stones are amazingly painful for such little objects.
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Hi, Bones,
I hope you're feeling better.
I hate it when people are in pain.
Lithotripsy's a remarkable improvement over surgery but...it's hard to deal with kidney stones.
Hope it worked and the fragments left over are too small to cause great trouble.
Hops
Thanks.
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Fascinating about lithotripsy, I also didn't know what it was. Had to look it up, it breaks apart the stones non-surgically with "shock waves". How the shock waves are localized to one little area I don't know, maybe they don't pin point that area.
:) Kidney stones are amazingly painful for such little objects.
Thankfully, it can be done under general anesthesia.
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2016/01/dear_prudence_my_adult_son_lives_at_home_but_pretends_his_family_doesn_t.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2016/01/dear_prudence_my_adult_son_lives_at_home_but_pretends_his_family_doesn_t.html
I thought the lad in the first letter sounded depressed, although equally I do know some older kids now who've absolutely no respect at all for their families. It's one I always struggle with as I've no respect for my own family, but that's because of abuse, not through a lack of manners or gratitude for being helped out. There aren't many positives about my family but they did teach me strong work ethics and the importance of good manners and they're two things that aren't always taught these days (and now I sound like my nan!).
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2016/01/dear_prudence_my_adult_son_lives_at_home_but_pretends_his_family_doesn_t.html
I thought the lad in the first letter sounded depressed, although equally I do know some older kids now who've absolutely no respect at all for their families. It's one I always struggle with as I've no respect for my own family, but that's because of abuse, not through a lack of manners or gratitude for being helped out. There aren't many positives about my family but they did teach me strong work ethics and the importance of good manners and they're two things that aren't always taught these days (and now I sound like my nan!).
I hear ya, Tupp!
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/24-hour-shift-creates-dangerous-standard.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/she-keeps-going-and-going-and-going-.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2016/1/22/1/blare-of-cars-horn-is-rude#disqus-comments
This letter writer is a real piece of work! If she woke me up, blaring her horn, after I had been working an all-night shift at a homeless shelter, I would be ripping the horn out of her car!!!!
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2016/01/dear_prudence_my_husband_wants_to_name_our_baby_after_his_ex_girlfriend.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2016/01/dear_prudence_my_lazy_10_year_old_daughter_is_getting_bad_grades.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2016/1/22/1/blare-of-cars-horn-is-rude#disqus-comments
This letter writer is a real piece of work! If she woke me up, blaring her horn, after I had been working an all-night shift at a homeless shelter, I would be ripping the horn out of her car!!!!
I agree, Bones, I don't get why she's going out first, my son and I always leave the house together so I can lock up properly, this sounds so odd!
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2016/01/dear_prudence_my_husband_wants_to_name_our_baby_after_his_ex_girlfriend.html
He only cleans his teeth once a fortnight!! :shock: Mine feel grubby again by lunchtime!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2016/1/22/1/blare-of-cars-horn-is-rude#disqus-comments
This letter writer is a real piece of work! If she woke me up, blaring her horn, after I had been working an all-night shift at a homeless shelter, I would be ripping the horn out of her car!!!!
I agree, Bones, I don't get why she's going out first, my son and I always leave the house together so I can lock up properly, this sounds so odd!
I know what you mean! She sounds like she's a couple fries short of a Happy Meal.
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2016/01/dear_prudence_my_husband_wants_to_name_our_baby_after_his_ex_girlfriend.html
He only cleans his teeth once a fortnight!! :shock: Mine feel grubby again by lunchtime!
Yeah............
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2016/1/24/0/irate-husband-makes-a-scene-when#disqus-comments
This Neanderthal knuckle-dragger sounds like another piece of work!
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2016/01/dear_prudence_i_moved_my_kids_and_me_back_in_with_my_abusive_parents.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2016/01/dear_prudence_my_sister_used_our_brother_s_death_to_raise_money_for_a_crisis.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/accepting-ones-mistakes-is-essential-to-learning.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/betting-on-a-gambler.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2016/02/dear_prudence_i_m_scared_to_tell_my_husband_i_was_molested_as_a_child.html
Trigger Warnings!!!!!
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2016/02/dear_prudence_i_m_scared_to_tell_my_husband_i_was_molested_as_a_child.html
Trigger Warnings!!!!!
If I was in a relationship now I don't think I'd want to talk about any of the past stuff, not so much out of fear of their reaction to it but more because I am just done with it all and I don't want it to be part of my life anymore. Talking about it always seems to bring it to the fore. I really, really appreciated talking things through with a therapist over the years and she always used to talk about her office being like a box where I could take stuff out, examine it and then leave it behind. She said she'd look after it for me and if I needed to go through it again I knew where it would be. I really liked that idea and I find it reassuring now to think of 'them' tucked away in her office, well and truly out of my life.
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2016/02/dear_prudence_i_m_scared_to_tell_my_husband_i_was_molested_as_a_child.html
Trigger Warnings!!!!!
If I was in a relationship now I don't think I'd want to talk about any of the past stuff, not so much out of fear of their reaction to it but more because I am just done with it all and I don't want it to be part of my life anymore. Talking about it always seems to bring it to the fore. I really, really appreciated talking things through with a therapist over the years and she always used to talk about her office being like a box where I could take stuff out, examine it and then leave it behind. She said she'd look after it for me and if I needed to go through it again I knew where it would be. I really liked that idea and I find it reassuring now to think of 'them' tucked away in her office, well and truly out of my life.
I like that concept!
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2016/02/dear_prudence_my_married_friend_says_we_should_run_away_together.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/insecurity-causes-personality-clash-with-boss.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2016/02/dear_prudence_our_nanny_is_hiv_positive.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/past-anger-is-hard-to-overcome.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2016/2/7/grown-up-child-still-wonders-what-halted
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/inappropriate-roughhousing.html
EW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/do-nice-guys-really-finish-last.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2016/2/11/1/mom-is-eager-for-daughter-to#disqus-comments
I knew a dingbat like this. She ended up dying alone after alienating everyone.
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2016/02/dear_prudence_my_boyfriend_killed_himself_after_a_fight.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2016/2/15/1/grandma-questions-wisdom-of-traveling-abroad#disqus-comments
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/fathers-death-leads-to-drinking.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2016/02/dear_prudence_my_wife_insists_on_telling_men_she_s_bisexual.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2016/02/dear_prudence_my_first_husband_s_parents_bought_me_a_gravesite_next_to_his.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2016/2/18/parents-still-worry-about-kids-even
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http://www.creators.com/advice/at-work-lindsey-novak/forget-last-years-job-search.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2016/02/dear_prudence_my_cheating_husband_died_and_i_want_to_help_his_mistress.html
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http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/office-distruption.html
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https://www.creators.com/read/annies-mailbox/02/16/standing-in-the-sidelines
They've changed the format and the below the line comments are GONE!!!! Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm........... :?
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https://www.creators.com/read/tales-from-the-front/02/16/mother-in-law-hall-of-shame
WOW!!!!!!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2016/02/dear_prudence_my_boyfriend_has_a_heart_defect_can_i_break_up_with_him.html
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Feeling really irritable right now! Just got an e-mail from an acquaintance wanting me to feel sorry for him because of a situation that HE CREATED!!!! This mess has been going on FOR YEARS but he had consistently REFUSED to do anything even though he's a landlord!!! Well, now his tenant has created such a mess that the landlord is getting consequences because of it. He had whinged to me about the mess plus the fact that the tenant owes him about $10,000 in unpaid rent. When I suggested that he needs to file for eviction given that he is a landlord, his response was: "But......I don't want to be mean!" After several years of this mess, the $h!t has hit the fan and he's being held responsible for his tenant's mess. He wants to be excused from all responsibility and wants tea and sympathy from me. :P
My feeling at this point.....HELL TO THE NO!!!! Don't whinge about it to me anymore! Stick a fork in it! I'm done!
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https://www.creators.com/read/at-work-lindsey-novak/02/16/can-you-accuse-co-worker-of-theft
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https://www.creators.com/read/annies-mailbox
Oh boy! Does this sound familiar!
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2016/02/dear_prudence_our_kids_misspend_their_strict_birthday_budgets.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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:(
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Woke up this morning to discover that my pension check has NOT arrived in my bank account and I have housing expenses coming due NOW!!! WTF?!?!?!?! :x
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Frustrated.
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https://www.creators.com/read/annies-mailbox
I miss the Below the Line Commenters. They often had more intelligence!
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https://www.creators.com/read/at-work-lindsey-novak/03/16/interview-hinted-at-company-culture-problems
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2016/03/dear_prudence_my_husband_supports_donald_trump_will_this_destroy_our_marriage.html
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Woke up this morning to discover that my pension check has NOT arrived in my bank account and I have housing expenses coming due NOW!!! WTF?!?!?!?! :x
Oh no Bones, did they get this sorted out for you? What a nightmare, I hope it was sorted quickly.
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Woke up this morning to discover that my pension check has NOT arrived in my bank account and I have housing expenses coming due NOW!!! WTF?!?!?!?! :x
Oh no Bones, did they get this sorted out for you? What a nightmare, I hope it was sorted quickly.
Thanks, Tupp. I was able to get it sorted before any checks started bouncing. I don't know what went wrong with the bank. I haven't been given an answer.
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https://www.creators.com/read/annies-mailbox
We are PAINFULLY familiar with boastful, self-centered relatives. The Annies are CLUELESS as usual. I wish I could read the comments from Below The Line and I have no idea why Creators Syndicate have stopped that.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2016/3/7/couples-divergent-interests-may-result-in
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2016/3/7/1/fear-of-pet-snake-keeps-grandma#disqus-comments
This reminds me of something that my cousins did when they were kids. When their mother, my aunt, was dying of cancer, our grandmother and NWomb-donor would go over to the house to "take care" of the dying relative. These two also used that as an excuse to go through my cousins' rooms and TAKE things that THEY wanted! If one of my cousins was given some candy and these two biddies found it, they took it. If they found a comic book, (these two old bats did NOT like comic books), they would TRASH IT. (The list goes on with stuff they would rummage through without permission even though IT WAS NOT THEIR HOUSE!) My cousins were aware that these two old bats had a PHOBIA of rodents and snakes. With their father's permission, they each got a white mouse that they kept in a cage in each of their respective rooms. What made it FUN was that NOTHING was said about the mice to these two old rummaging bats. When they went to go rummaging again and encountered the mice, they both FREAKED!!!! :lol: They attempted to ORDER my uncle to GET RID OF THEM because THEY DID NOT APPROVE! My uncle told both of them: NOPE! The two biddies were pissed off because they couldn't rummage through my cousins' stuff anymore.
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2016/03/dear_prudence_my_son_sent_thousands_of_texts_and_emails_to_a_girl.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2016/3/7/1/fear-of-pet-snake-keeps-grandma#disqus-comments
This reminds me of something that my cousins did when they were kids. When their mother, my aunt, was dying of cancer, our grandmother and NWomb-donor would go over to the house to "take care" of the dying relative. These two also used that as an excuse to go through my cousins' rooms and TAKE things that THEY wanted! If one of my cousins was given some candy and these two biddies found it, they took it. If they found a comic book, (these two old bats did NOT like comic books), they would TRASH IT. (The list goes on with stuff they would rummage through without permission even though IT WAS NOT THEIR HOUSE!) My cousins were aware that these two old bats had a PHOBIA of rodents and snakes. With their father's permission, they each got a white mouse that they kept in a cage in each of their respective rooms. What made it FUN was that NOTHING was said about the mice to these two old rummaging bats. When they went to go rummaging again and encountered the mice, they both FREAKED!!!! :lol: They attempted to ORDER my uncle to GET RID OF THEM because THEY DID NOT APPROVE! My uncle told both of them: NOPE! The two biddies were pissed off because they couldn't rummage through my cousins' stuff anymore.
Ha, that is brilliant, Bones, serves them both right! It's funny how some people just have no respect for privacy or boundaries, yet I bet they'd be the first to complain if someone went through their stuff.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2016/3/7/1/fear-of-pet-snake-keeps-grandma#disqus-comments
This reminds me of something that my cousins did when they were kids. When their mother, my aunt, was dying of cancer, our grandmother and NWomb-donor would go over to the house to "take care" of the dying relative. These two also used that as an excuse to go through my cousins' rooms and TAKE things that THEY wanted! If one of my cousins was given some candy and these two biddies found it, they took it. If they found a comic book, (these two old bats did NOT like comic books), they would TRASH IT. (The list goes on with stuff they would rummage through without permission even though IT WAS NOT THEIR HOUSE!) My cousins were aware that these two old bats had a PHOBIA of rodents and snakes. With their father's permission, they each got a white mouse that they kept in a cage in each of their respective rooms. What made it FUN was that NOTHING was said about the mice to these two old rummaging bats. When they went to go rummaging again and encountered the mice, they both FREAKED!!!! :lol: They attempted to ORDER my uncle to GET RID OF THEM because THEY DID NOT APPROVE! My uncle told both of them: NOPE! The two biddies were pissed off because they couldn't rummage through my cousins' stuff anymore.
Ha, that is brilliant, Bones, serves them both right! It's funny how some people just have no respect for privacy or boundaries, yet I bet they'd be the first to complain if someone went through their stuff.
Thanks, Tupp!
That is EXACTLY the way they were!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2016/3/7/1/fear-of-pet-snake-keeps-grandma#disqus-comments
This reminds me of something that my cousins did when they were kids. When their mother, my aunt, was dying of cancer, our grandmother and NWomb-donor would go over to the house to "take care" of the dying relative. These two also used that as an excuse to go through my cousins' rooms and TAKE things that THEY wanted! If one of my cousins was given some candy and these two biddies found it, they took it. If they found a comic book, (these two old bats did NOT like comic books), they would TRASH IT. (The list goes on with stuff they would rummage through without permission even though IT WAS NOT THEIR HOUSE!) My cousins were aware that these two old bats had a PHOBIA of rodents and snakes. With their father's permission, they each got a white mouse that they kept in a cage in each of their respective rooms. What made it FUN was that NOTHING was said about the mice to these two old rummaging bats. When they went to go rummaging again and encountered the mice, they both FREAKED!!!! :lol: They attempted to ORDER my uncle to GET RID OF THEM because THEY DID NOT APPROVE! My uncle told both of them: NOPE! The two biddies were pissed off because they couldn't rummage through my cousins' stuff anymore.
Ha, that is brilliant, Bones, serves them both right! It's funny how some people just have no respect for privacy or boundaries, yet I bet they'd be the first to complain if someone went through their stuff.
Thanks, Tupp!
That is EXACTLY the way they were!
Also, NWomb-Donor had such a PHOBIA of snakes that she would throw a magazine across the room if she encountered a PICTURE of a snake! Imagine what happened when she decided to drop in to visit my NGC brother and his wife, (uninvited), and discovered they were keeping LIVE BURMESE PYTHONS when she attempted to rummage through their house! I thought it was HYSTERICALLY FUNNY!!! :lol: She never visited again!
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https://www.creators.com/read/at-work-lindsey-novak/03/16/should-volunteer-groups-accept-everyone
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2016/03/dear_prudence_should_i_have_a_child_so_it_will_care_for_me_one_day.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2016/3/7/1/fear-of-pet-snake-keeps-grandma#disqus-comments
This reminds me of something that my cousins did when they were kids. When their mother, my aunt, was dying of cancer, our grandmother and NWomb-donor would go over to the house to "take care" of the dying relative. These two also used that as an excuse to go through my cousins' rooms and TAKE things that THEY wanted! If one of my cousins was given some candy and these two biddies found it, they took it. If they found a comic book, (these two old bats did NOT like comic books), they would TRASH IT. (The list goes on with stuff they would rummage through without permission even though IT WAS NOT THEIR HOUSE!) My cousins were aware that these two old bats had a PHOBIA of rodents and snakes. With their father's permission, they each got a white mouse that they kept in a cage in each of their respective rooms. What made it FUN was that NOTHING was said about the mice to these two old rummaging bats. When they went to go rummaging again and encountered the mice, they both FREAKED!!!! :lol: They attempted to ORDER my uncle to GET RID OF THEM because THEY DID NOT APPROVE! My uncle told both of them: NOPE! The two biddies were pissed off because they couldn't rummage through my cousins' stuff anymore.
Ha, that is brilliant, Bones, serves them both right! It's funny how some people just have no respect for privacy or boundaries, yet I bet they'd be the first to complain if someone went through their stuff.
Thanks, Tupp!
That is EXACTLY the way they were!
Also, NWomb-Donor had such a PHOBIA of snakes that she would throw a magazine across the room if she encountered a PICTURE of a snake! Imagine what happened when she decided to drop in to visit my NGC brother and his wife, (uninvited), and discovered they were keeping LIVE BURMESE PYTHONS when she attempted to rummage through their house! I thought it was HYSTERICALLY FUNNY!!! :lol: She never visited again!
Ha ha, if only it were always that easy to get rid of anyone you didn't want around! :) x
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2016/3/7/1/fear-of-pet-snake-keeps-grandma#disqus-comments
This reminds me of something that my cousins did when they were kids. When their mother, my aunt, was dying of cancer, our grandmother and NWomb-donor would go over to the house to "take care" of the dying relative. These two also used that as an excuse to go through my cousins' rooms and TAKE things that THEY wanted! If one of my cousins was given some candy and these two biddies found it, they took it. If they found a comic book, (these two old bats did NOT like comic books), they would TRASH IT. (The list goes on with stuff they would rummage through without permission even though IT WAS NOT THEIR HOUSE!) My cousins were aware that these two old bats had a PHOBIA of rodents and snakes. With their father's permission, they each got a white mouse that they kept in a cage in each of their respective rooms. What made it FUN was that NOTHING was said about the mice to these two old rummaging bats. When they went to go rummaging again and encountered the mice, they both FREAKED!!!! :lol: They attempted to ORDER my uncle to GET RID OF THEM because THEY DID NOT APPROVE! My uncle told both of them: NOPE! The two biddies were pissed off because they couldn't rummage through my cousins' stuff anymore.
Ha, that is brilliant, Bones, serves them both right! It's funny how some people just have no respect for privacy or boundaries, yet I bet they'd be the first to complain if someone went through their stuff.
Thanks, Tupp!
That is EXACTLY the way they were!
Also, NWomb-Donor had such a PHOBIA of snakes that she would throw a magazine across the room if she encountered a PICTURE of a snake! Imagine what happened when she decided to drop in to visit my NGC brother and his wife, (uninvited), and discovered they were keeping LIVE BURMESE PYTHONS when she attempted to rummage through their house! I thought it was HYSTERICALLY FUNNY!!! :lol: She never visited again!
Ha ha, if only it were always that easy to get rid of anyone you didn't want around! :) x
Oh yeah!!! :D :lol:
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2016/3/11/0/mom-prefers-being-home-alone-over#disqus-comments
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https://www.creators.com/read/annies-mailbox
I wish they still allowed the Below The Line comments so I could read the feedback from other readers. I feel bad for the kid with nut allergies.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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Having trouble sleeping. Working a little on the genealogy.
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2016/03/dear_prudence_my_sister_asked_me_to_dye_my_hair_for_her_wedding.html
This sister was being an ABSOLUTE BRIDE-ZILLA!!! If I were the one with the purple hair, I'd tell her to screw off!!!
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2016/03/dear_prudence_my_sister_asked_me_to_dye_my_hair_for_her_wedding.html
This sister was being an ABSOLUTE BRIDE-ZILLA!!! If I were the one with the purple hair, I'd tell her to screw off!!!
As it stands, I do have a little bit of gray in my hair, (and I EARNED every one of those gray strands). If some fool BRIDE-ZILLA ORDERED me to dye my hair according to HER specifications because of the gray, even thought I am NOT a bridesmaid, I'd be flipping her the bird!
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https://www.creators.com/read/at-work-lindsey-novak/03/16/feeling-used
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I'm a member of another internet group that focuses on the various fiber arts. Later this Spring, there will be a festival where there will be live animals such as sheep, goats, llamas, and alpacas. This one forum has quite a detailed discussion regarding why pet dogs are NOT allowed at this festival because of the live farm animals that will be there! The only dogs allowed at the festival are (a) sheep dogs that are being used for herding demonstrations and (b) service animals such as seeing eye dogs that are especially trained to focus on their jobs.
After this long, drawn-out discussion regarding the festival rules regarding the banning of pets, this one person posts: "I'm bringing my pet dog. Where is a pet-friendly hotel near the festival?"
*Head-on-Desk*!!!!! :roll:
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https://www.creators.com/read/annies-mailbox/03/16/between-two-mooching-kids
The Below the Line comments are back!!! YAY!!!!
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I'm a member of another internet group that focuses on the various fiber arts. Later this Spring, there will be a festival where there will be live animals such as sheep, goats, llamas, and alpacas. This one forum has quite a detailed discussion regarding why pet dogs are NOT allowed at this festival because of the live farm animals that will be there! The only dogs allowed at the festival are (a) sheep dogs that are being used for herding demonstrations and (b) service animals such as seeing eye dogs that are especially trained to focus on their jobs.
After this long, drawn-out discussion regarding the festival rules regarding the banning of pets, this one person posts: "I'm bringing my pet dog. Where is a pet-friendly hotel near the festival?"
*Head-on-Desk*!!!!! :roll:
Oh Bones, that did make me laugh! Sometimes there is just no telling people! :)
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I'm a member of another internet group that focuses on the various fiber arts. Later this Spring, there will be a festival where there will be live animals such as sheep, goats, llamas, and alpacas. This one forum has quite a detailed discussion regarding why pet dogs are NOT allowed at this festival because of the live farm animals that will be there! The only dogs allowed at the festival are (a) sheep dogs that are being used for herding demonstrations and (b) service animals such as seeing eye dogs that are especially trained to focus on their jobs.
After this long, drawn-out discussion regarding the festival rules regarding the banning of pets, this one person posts: "I'm bringing my pet dog. Where is a pet-friendly hotel near the festival?"
*Head-on-Desk*!!!!! :roll:
Oh Bones, that did make me laugh! Sometimes there is just no telling people! :)
LOL!!! I know!!!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
Can't access this website for some reason today.
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https://www.creators.com/read/annies-mailbox/03/16/first-comes-love-then-comes-problems-with-an-ex
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2016/03/dear_prudence_live_chat_for_mar_21_2016.html
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https://www.creators.com/categories/lifestyle
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2016/03/dear_prudence_my_nephew_is_bullied_by_his_brother.html
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https://www.creators.com/read/annies-mailbox/03/16/stinking-up-the-neighborhood
What part of the word "NO" is not understood?
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I saw one of the funniest videos that made me smile! It was a Rube Goldberg construction of the Passover story that was a DELIGHT to watch!!! :D
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=baQfqoZrEvI
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2016/3/30/0/sons-sperm-donation-provokes-mothers-ire#disqus-comments
This letter writer needs to get a grip on reality! Her oldest son is a GROWN MAN!!! She does NOT own him body and soul and she DEFINITELY DOES NOT OWN HIS SPERM!!! Sheesh!!! And she's trying to claim he "disrespected" her because he donated his sperm to a lesbian couple instead of a heterosexual couple. She sounds like a homophobe as well as being self-centered! If she keeps this up, she may find her son going NC with her!
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https://www.creators.com/read/annies-mailbox/03/16/extending-an-olive-branch-to-sister-in-law
Geez!!!!
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2016/03/dear_prudence_my_husband_keeps_making_me_try_for_a_second_kid.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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Thank you, Bones, for so faithfully posting these links.
Hops
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Thank you, Bones, for so faithfully posting these links.
Hops
You're welcome.
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https://www.creators.com/read/annies-mailbox/04/16/coming-home-a-changed-man
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Was kind of watching a case on the People's Court a little while ago while puttering with other stuff. Caught the tail-end because Judge Milian's voice and attitude caught my attention.
Turns out that a plaintiff had dumped her belongings on the two defendants and tried to force them to be free storage in spite of the defendants' repeated requests to pick up her belongings. After nearly THREE YEARS, the defendants got fed up and got rid of the stuff because, in the eyes of the law, it is abandoned property. Plaintiff got all huffy and sued. Judge Milian basically read the Riot Act to the plaintiff and told her that it was HER responsibility to get her belongings especially after this length of time had elapsed and that the defendants are not responsible to be free storage. Judge Milian was NOT happy with the plaintiff and her attitude.
The case reminded me of what I was dealing with here. If the N is dumb enough to sue me for getting rid of her abandoned junk after over THREE DECADES, I have a feeling the judge will read her the same Riot Act as well on the same grounds.
I remember seeing this on YouTube afterward and now I'm trying to find it.
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I've been chatting with other fiber artists in another forum and have been learning some new things.
One of the words I've added to my vocabulary is: "GIMMIEPIG".
I've also learned that I'm not alone among the fiber artists who have been approached by GIMMIEPIGS who DEMAND that you work for FREE for THEIR CONVENIENCE because THEY ARE ENTITLED! (Sound familiar?) Another fiber artists shared her experience of being approached by a co-IRKer who decreed that she should make a cable sweater, identical to what the co-IRKer saw for x-amount-of-money as that is what the co-IRKer would pay for it! The fiber artist explained that x-amount-of-money would NOT cover the cost of the yarn let alone the amount of WORK that goes into hand-knitting such an item. Co-IRKer called the fiber artist a B!TCH! (Again, sound familiar?)
Co-IRKer fits into the category of GIMMIEPIG as well as being an N! :P
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https://www.creators.com/read/annies-mailbox/04/16/tired-of-being-a-mistake :P
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2016/03/dear_prudence_live_chat_for_april_4_2016.html
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What IS it with inDUHviduals who DEMAND "Special Exceptions" to policies/rules/regulations/procedures, etc.?!?!?! :P
I might have mentioned, in an earlier posting, about an acquaintance who is renting out his unit. His last tenant created quite an uproar that involved the police due to domestic violence. He had been notified about the situation, several times, for one year in which he did NOTHING that a landlord is required to do! When the first hearing about the situation took place, he gave a lot of excuses. When a SECOND HEARING was required, he CHOSE NOT TO ATTEND because he felt he didn't need to bother! Well, that cost him consequences in the way of being fined! He appealed the fine and it was reduced. Now he's appealing AGAIN, CLAIMING that he's being treated "unfairly"!! WTF?!?!? :P
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2016/4/5/1/grandmas-uncertain-health-causes-last-minute-cancellations#disqus-comments
A letter writer describes what it's like to live with chronic pain, (I can relate to that), and a troll responds with N-Crap! I hope Instant Karma gets that troll!!!!
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For those who like Bald Eagles:
http://dceaglecam.eagles.org/
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https://www.creators.com/read/annies-mailbox/04/16/rolling-up-the-welcome-mat
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I've been chatting with other fiber artists in another forum and have been learning some new things.
One of the words I've added to my vocabulary is: "GIMMIEPIG".
I've also learned that I'm not alone among the fiber artists who have been approached by GIMMIEPIGS who DEMAND that you work for FREE for THEIR CONVENIENCE because THEY ARE ENTITLED! (Sound familiar?) Another fiber artists shared her experience of being approached by a co-IRKer who decreed that she should make a cable sweater, identical to what the co-IRKer saw for x-amount-of-money as that is what the co-IRKer would pay for it! The fiber artist explained that x-amount-of-money would NOT cover the cost of the yarn let alone the amount of WORK that goes into hand-knitting such an item. Co-IRKer called the fiber artist a B!TCH! (Again, sound familiar?)
Co-IRKer fits into the category of GIMMIEPIG as well as being an N! :P
I think, in the Western World at least, that a lot of people have become too used to having everything done for them and have no idea of the work or cost of a lot of things. I think a lot of people just want, want, want now and it shows with people like the one you describe! I see quite often on various blogs that people complain that an article or recipe (or whatever it is that's being written for them) isn't what they wanted! As if the person writing it ought to be doing personalised articles for everybody. Too much consumption now, I think, and not enough thought from some :)
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I've been chatting with other fiber artists in another forum and have been learning some new things.
One of the words I've added to my vocabulary is: "GIMMIEPIG".
I've also learned that I'm not alone among the fiber artists who have been approached by GIMMIEPIGS who DEMAND that you work for FREE for THEIR CONVENIENCE because THEY ARE ENTITLED! (Sound familiar?) Another fiber artists shared her experience of being approached by a co-IRKer who decreed that she should make a cable sweater, identical to what the co-IRKer saw for x-amount-of-money as that is what the co-IRKer would pay for it! The fiber artist explained that x-amount-of-money would NOT cover the cost of the yarn let alone the amount of WORK that goes into hand-knitting such an item. Co-IRKer called the fiber artist a B!TCH! (Again, sound familiar?)
Co-IRKer fits into the category of GIMMIEPIG as well as being an N! :P
I think, in the Western World at least, that a lot of people have become too used to having everything done for them and have no idea of the work or cost of a lot of things. I think a lot of people just want, want, want now and it shows with people like the one you describe! I see quite often on various blogs that people complain that an article or recipe (or whatever it is that's being written for them) isn't what they wanted! As if the person writing it ought to be doing personalised articles for everybody. Too much consumption now, I think, and not enough thought from some :)
I've watched some idiots give David Gerrold, a professional writer, a hard time with their GIMMIEPIG demands! The result was FUN to watch! The GIMMIEPIGS learned the hard way NOT to mess with him!!!
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I see quite often on various blogs that people complain that an article or recipe (or whatever it is that's being written for them) isn't what they wanted! As if the person writing it ought to be doing personalised articles for everybody. Too much consumption now, I think, and not enough thought....
Hear, HEAR.
Brava.
Hops
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I see quite often on various blogs that people complain that an article or recipe (or whatever it is that's being written for them) isn't what they wanted! As if the person writing it ought to be doing personalised articles for everybody. Too much consumption now, I think, and not enough thought....
Hear, HEAR.
Brava.
Hops
Are you quoting David or someone else? Please attribute the quote and give credit where credit is due.
Yeah, I'm grumpy this morning.
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https://www.creators.com/read/at-work-lindsey-novak
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2016/4/7/visiting-relatives-could-pay-dearly-for
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2016/04/dear_prudence_the_guy_i_secretly_loved_years_ago_was_also_in_love_with_me.html
One of the letters to Dear Prudence sounds like: "How can I FORCE MY CONTROL down the throat of my husband and FORCE him to do what I WANT?"
Prudence has responded with: "No" in BOLD LETTERS!
The last letter reminded me of a similar situation that happened to a couple of acquaintances. When their mother died, their sister immediately went to the house and started taking things that did NOT belong to her! (The mother had a will that stipulated EXACTLY who was supposed to get what.) When the will was probated, the sister attempted to keep everything, including money. The acquaintances finally had to go to court and get a judgment against her, which finally forced her to pay up!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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https://www.creators.com/features/annies-mailbox
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2016/4/10/2/man-and-his-dogs-are-a#disqus-comments
This ding-dong letter writer needs to GET A CLUE that she has to accept a PACKAGE DEAL or GET OUT!!!! To this gentleman, these dogs are his FUR-BABIES, HIS CHILDREN!!! Suppose he had human children instead? Would she have the unmitigated GALL to DEMAND he get rid of them because SHE MUST COME FIRST?!?!!? She's already had THREE husbands and it sounds as if she's trying to play the "total innocent". She's raising a LOT of RED FLAGS with her attitude!!!!
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"I have found a man to marry and all I require is that he discard from his life two sources of unconditional love, connection and happiness that have sustained him for years. Is this a problem?"
Sheesh.
If somebody isn't able to see what's wunnerful about my formerly-traumatized little rescue who now FLINGS herself between me and a visitor on the couch to be sure her tummy is rubbed from BOTH directions....buh-bye....
:?
Hops
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"I have found a man to marry and all I require is that he discard from his life two sources of unconditional love, connection and happiness that have sustained him for years. Is this a problem?"
Sheesh.
If somebody isn't able to see what's wunnerful about my formerly-traumatized little rescue who now FLINGS herself between me and a visitor on the couch to be sure her tummy is rubbed from BOTH directions....buh-bye....
:?
Hops
And when a Fur-Baby raises the alarm about a "human", I trust the Fur-Baby!
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https://www.creators.com/read/annies-mailbox/04/16/energizer-bunny-of-conversation
I think we know a few like these who only talk about themselves and are NOT interested in listening to anyone else.
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I can NEVER understand people who refuse to respect boundaries and refuse to respect the word "No"!
I was discussing allergies with a couple of other people and what I learned had my jaw on the floor! In one case, a child with a SEVERE allergy to nuts kept politely telling this adult, "No, thank you.", to their insistence that the child eat a cookie LOADED with nuts! The adult pulled a power-play on the child and when the child ate the nut-laden cookie, he turned blue and 9-1-1 had to be called! Thankfully, the child survived!
In the second case, when a mother and 7-year-old son attended a social event, the child wore a name tag that CLEARLY stated, "I am SEVERELY allergic. Please do not offer me food or water." (He's also allergic to chlorine that is in the water.) Well, this DINGBAT insisted on giving this 7-year-old child candy that was LOADED with nuts, caramel, chocolate, etc. His mother reminded the DINGBAT that her son is ALLERGIC and he CANNOT eat the candy without landing in the Emergency Room! DINGBAT responds, "Well, he can just hold onto it and give it away to a child who isn't allergic!" WTF?!?!?!? :shock: This DINGBAT expected a 7-year-old to be immune to candy!!!
What is WRONG with people?!?!?!?
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https://www.creators.com/features/annies-mailbox
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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I can NEVER understand people who refuse to respect boundaries and refuse to respect the word "No"!
I was discussing allergies with a couple of other people and what I learned had my jaw on the floor! In one case, a child with a SEVERE allergy to nuts kept politely telling this adult, "No, thank you.", to their insistence that the child eat a cookie LOADED with nuts! The adult pulled a power-play on the child and when the child ate the nut-laden cookie, he turned blue and 9-1-1 had to be called! Thankfully, the child survived!
In the second case, when a mother and 7-year-old son attended a social event, the child wore a name tag that CLEARLY stated, "I am SEVERELY allergic. Please do not offer me food or water." (He's also allergic to chlorine that is in the water.) Well, this DINGBAT insisted on giving this 7-year-old child candy that was LOADED with nuts, caramel, chocolate, etc. His mother reminded the DINGBAT that her son is ALLERGIC and he CANNOT eat the candy without landing in the Emergency Room! DINGBAT responds, "Well, he can just hold onto it and give it away to a child who isn't allergic!" WTF?!?!?!? :shock: This DINGBAT expected a 7-year-old to be immune to candy!!!
What is WRONG with people?!?!?!?
What's even scarier is the possibility that some N who insists that allergies do NOT exist and will go to any length to prove it by playing "Gotcha!" on someone with a SEVERE allergy! They can KILL someone doing THAT!!!!
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence.html
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https://www.creators.com/read/at-work-lindsey-novak
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Reading today's advice columns is setting off PTSD triggers!
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Still dealing with medical issues and not feeling that great this morning. :P
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Hope you feel better soon.
I see your post the other day about reading the advice column. Were you able to manage your way though ok?
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Hope you feel better soon.
I see your post the other day about reading the advice column. Were you able to manage your way though ok?
Thanks, GS.
I was able to manage through it ok. I just get so frustrated at some of the advice I see.
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https://www.creators.com/read/annies-mailbox/04/16/lightly-stepping-on-barefoot-issue
Regarding LW2, there are also people with invisible disabilities who also need to use the grab bars when getting on and off the toilet, just saying.
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Dear Abby is getting more and more frustrating! :P
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https://www.creators.com/read/annies-mailbox/04/16/lightly-stepping-on-barefoot-issue
Regarding LW2, there are also people with invisible disabilities who also need to use the grab bars when getting on and off the toilet, just saying.
Regarding the invisible disabilities, back in 1981 I participated in a demonstration in downtown DC to protest the proposed block grants that would have badly impacted all people with disabilities. During the march to the Capitol building, my chronic condition flared up and one of my knees exploded to the size of a basketball, causing me to be unable to put any weight on that leg at all. One of the other marchers got me a wheelchair so that I could finish the march.
Because I had been able to walk earlier during the march, another marcher started screaming at me for "faking" until I rolled up my pants leg and showed him my basket-ball-sized knee, which shut him up immediately! I looked him square in the eye and said: "See? Not all disabilities are visible!"
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https://www.creators.com/features/annies-mailbox
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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:evil: :evil: :evil: I swear there are some days that it's all I can do to refrain from hauling off on N-IDIOTS!!!! :evil: :evil: :evil:
This one inDUHvidual created a HUGE mess by NOT taking care of business and NOT doing due diligence. As a result of this HUGE mess, which also involved the local constabulary, this N-IDIOT was given a fine! Today, he attempts to appeal AGAIN and basically says: "How can you do this to me after EVERYTHING I've done for this community, blah-blah-blah?!?!?"
Can I SMACK HIM NOW!?!?!?! :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil:
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:evil: :evil: :evil: I swear there are some days that it's all I can do to refrain from hauling off on N-IDIOTS!!!! :evil: :evil: :evil:
This one inDUHvidual created a HUGE mess by NOT taking care of business and NOT doing due diligence. As a result of this HUGE mess, which also involved the local constabulary, this N-IDIOT was given a fine! Today, he attempts to appeal AGAIN and basically says: "How can you do this to me after EVERYTHING I've done for this community, blah-blah-blah?!?!?"
Can I SMACK HIM NOW!?!?!?! :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil:
A group of us had to deal with him at a meeting tonight and it was NOT pleasant!!!!
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Today's "Dear Abby" has me shaking my head.
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I'm in shock that the Purple One is gone! :(
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Came across some fun titles for those of us who crochet, knit, spin yarn, and/or otherwise enjoy the fiber arts...... us gals who do that are FIBER GODDESSES!!!! YARN GODDESSES!!!!! CROCHET GODDESSES!!!! KNITTING GODDESSES!!! :D
LOVE IT!!!!! :D
Forgot to include SPINNING GODDESS and WEAVING GODDESS.
I was going to include a photo of my spinning wheel but the JPG is a little too large than what is allowed here.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
I'm not sure where "Dear Abby" is getting her "advice" today! Sheesh!!!!
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https://www.creators.com/features/annies-mailbox
Is it me or do the advice columnists seem to be losing intelligence?
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Came across some fun titles for those of us who crochet, knit, spin yarn, and/or otherwise enjoy the fiber arts...... us gals who do that are FIBER GODDESSES!!!! YARN GODDESSES!!!!! CROCHET GODDESSES!!!! KNITTING GODDESSES!!! :D
LOVE IT!!!!! :D
Forgot to include SPINNING GODDESS and WEAVING GODDESS.
I was going to include a photo of my spinning wheel but the JPG is a little too large than what is allowed here.
Does anyone know how to reduce the size of a JPG photo? I can't figure it out.
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Came across some fun titles for those of us who crochet, knit, spin yarn, and/or otherwise enjoy the fiber arts...... us gals who do that are FIBER GODDESSES!!!! YARN GODDESSES!!!!! CROCHET GODDESSES!!!! KNITTING GODDESSES!!! :D
LOVE IT!!!!! :D
Forgot to include SPINNING GODDESS and WEAVING GODDESS.
I was going to include a photo of my spinning wheel but the JPG is a little too large than what is allowed here.
Does anyone know how to reduce the size of a JPG photo? I can't figure it out.
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Thanks, Doctor G!!!
We finally got the enigma figured out!
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Now let's see if I can post the picture of the spinning wheel again without the computer hiccupping at me.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
TRIGGER WARNING TODAY!!!!
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https://www.creators.com/features/annies-mailbox
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence.html
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I have never seen anything like that spinning wheel. Fascinating!
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I have never seen anything like that spinning wheel. Fascinating!
Thanks!
It's a Hansen mini spinner and I've been having a LOT of fun learning how to spin yarn on it.!!! Whenever I have to be cooped up at home, I can play with it. :)
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Thanks, Doctor G!!!
We finally got the enigma figured out!
Hi Bones,
I'm glad I could help...
Richard
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Thanks, Doctor G!!!
We finally got the enigma figured out!
Hi Bones,
I'm glad I could help...
Richard
Thanks, ((((((((((((((((((((((((Richard))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) !!!!
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https://www.creators.com/read/at-work-lindsey-novak
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2016/4/29/2/siblings-wage-tug-of-war-over-parents-add-on#disqus-comments
This brother and his wife have a LOT of NERVE!!!!! It's as if he's DECREEING that single people have no rights! And if they try to get the sister evicted simply because "she's single", they'll find themselves in landlord-tenant court and get a NASTY surprise! You can't just evict someone based on a whim when they've been living there for over a year. The N I used to sublet from tried that stunt, once, and got a NASTY surprise that the judge would NOT side with her! I had been paying the entire rent for 20 years while she paid NOTHING on the lease that was in her name! If anything, I told her that the judge could easily order her to pay 20 years of BACK RENT on the lease that was IN HER NAME! She dropped that crap like a hot potato!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2016/5/3/0/struggling-sister-should-get-help-and#disqus-comments
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Now let's see if I can post the picture of the spinning wheel again without the computer hiccupping at me.
Experimenting to see what happens.
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The Sheep and Wool Festival is coming up and I'll be looking for more fibers to spin!
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https://www.creators.com/features/annies-mailbox
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2016/5/5/1/friends-gift-of-skin-care-products#disqus-comments
Years ago, NWomb-Donor and her NPrincess Sister used to insist on giving me gifts of Jean Nate' skin products even though they KNEW it caused me to break out in a nasty rash that BURNED! They both kept trying to insist that allergies don't exist and that I was being "disobedient" because my skin kept breaking out! When I got old enough to get out of the house, they both kept trying to force that gift on me. Now that the NWomb-Donor couldn't beat the crap out of me anymore, she and the NPrincess got told that if they kept insisting on "gifting" me with that $h!t, they would be wasting their money because it was going straight into the TRASH!!!!
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence.html
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Hugs to everyone who has to get through today, sometimes with gritted teeth!
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Went to the Sheep and Wool Festival today and had a LOT of fun! Managed to stay within budget too while getting more fiber to play with! I also learned about charkhas and kumihimos too.
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Did you get to watch the border collies herd?
I love those events here--sheep trials.
Great that you got out to the fest, Bones.
Happy fiber fanatic?
:)
Hops
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2016/5/9/0/funeral-costs-need-covering-after-boyfriends#disqus-comments
If the girlfriend was NOT allowed any say in her boyfriend's funeral, then she should NOT be expected to cough up $4,000 because the boyfriend's mother demands it! SHEESH!!!
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https://www.creators.com/read/annies-mailbox/05/16/lost-sister-while-fighting-cancer
If I were the LW, I wouldn't bother opening the gift and I would send it back. With "relatives" like that, who needs enemies? The N needs to be jettisoned out the nearest airlock!
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Did you get to watch the border collies herd?
I love those events here--sheep trials.
Great that you got out to the fest, Bones.
Happy fiber fanatic?
:)
Hops
I didn't get down to the corral where the sheep dog demos were happening. I was too busy exploring the various vendors and having a BLAST petting the sheep and the wool! I missed seeing the alpacas as they are so SOFT! They had the alpaca judging on Saturday so either they were sold or the owners took them back home.
Yes, I'm a Fiber Fanatic. I found a button yesterday, from the vendors who sold me my spinning wheel, which says: "Resistance is futile! Join the hive!" I also played with the upgraded version of my spinning wheel and saw that my spinning skills are improving. While walking around the vendors, I saw a sign that made me laugh: "No thanks! I have enough yarn! says no one EVER!"
Came home with various fibers, (Falkland and Merino), dyed Purple in honor of Prince and got some Maple Cream. I got a sample of some raw East Friesian so I can show Muggles what wool, fresh off the sheep, looks like. Checked out some rigid heddle looms, a charkha, discussed Gandhi while the charkha was being shown, and took some pictures of the Sheep to Shawl competition. The team dressed like the characters from Alice in Wonderland won that competition. Yep, I've gone down the Rabbit Hole with Alice!
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https://www.creators.com/read/annies-mailbox/05/16/gun-shy
Boils down to a simple saying: MY HOUSE, MY RULES!!!!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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https://www.creators.com/features/annies-mailbox
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https://www.creators.com/read/at-work-lindsey-novak/05/16/wisely-choose-your-complaints-and-reasons-to-leave
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence.html
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https://www.creators.com/read/annies-mailbox/05/16/tired-of-the-tug-of-war
Sounds familiar.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2016/5/14/2/baby-sitting-puts-elderly-mom-and-kids#disqus-comments
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Haven't been able to get online for a while, Bones, I've missed you! Have got a lot of reading to catch up on here, hope you are doing okay :) xx
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Haven't been able to get online for a while, Bones, I've missed you! Have got a lot of reading to catch up on here, hope you are doing okay :) xx
Thanks, Tupp. xx
I've been taking stuff one day at a time.
How are you doing?
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2016/05/dear_prudence_i_miss_the_husband_who_destroyed_our_marriage.html
Wow. Just. Wow.
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Haven't been able to get online for a while, Bones, I've missed you! Have got a lot of reading to catch up on here, hope you are doing okay :) xx
Thanks, Tupp. xx
I've been taking stuff one day at a time.
How are you doing?
I am a bit up and down at the minute, Bonesie, but getting there - like you, I take one day at a time. I have become obsessed with Hawaii 5 0 and keep dreaming about living on those beautiful beaches and spending my days making jewellery out of shells or something :) xx
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Haven't been able to get online for a while, Bones, I've missed you! Have got a lot of reading to catch up on here, hope you are doing okay :) xx
Thanks, Tupp. xx
I've been taking stuff one day at a time.
How are you doing?
I am a bit up and down at the minute, Bonesie, but getting there - like you, I take one day at a time. I have become obsessed with Hawaii 5 0 and keep dreaming about living on those beautiful beaches and spending my days making jewellery out of shells or something :) xx
I hear ya, ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Tupp)))))))))))))))!!!!!
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence.html
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Three years ago, a young person I knew since before she was born was brutally murdered by her then-boyfriend. I was hoping that he got convicted and sent to prison so I did a Google search to put that question to rest. Yes, he's been sentenced to life in prison and won't be eligible for parole until 2052! I was expecting to see an artist's rendition of the trial as I've often seen in the past. I wasn't prepared to see an actual video of the trial itself as the local TV station broadcasted it. What made it worse was that the TV station also broadcast some of the photos from the autopsy!!!! That was a kick in the stomach!!!! EW!!!!
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https://www.creators.com/features/annies-mailbox
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2016/5/21/0/moms-vacation-plans-cause-headache-for#disqus-comments
This womb-donor sounds like a FLAMING N and "Dear Abby" just does NOT get it!!!!
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I felt up to doing some housecleaning on Facebook given the current political climate. While going through my Friend list, I discovered that even though Cousin Jacka$$ had unfriended me, his profile was still there under the classification of "cousin". The more I thought about it, the more I realized that he has NO business contacting me anymore for ANY reason! I BLOCKED him!
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Haven't been able to get online for a while, Bones, I've missed you! Have got a lot of reading to catch up on here, hope you are doing okay :) xx
Thanks, Tupp. xx
I've been taking stuff one day at a time.
How are you doing?
I am a bit up and down at the minute, Bonesie, but getting there - like you, I take one day at a time. I have become obsessed with Hawaii 5 0 and keep dreaming about living on those beautiful beaches and spending my days making jewellery out of shells or something :) xx
I hear ya, ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Tupp)))))))))))))))!!!!!
We can open a shop, Bonesi, selling surf boards and jewellery and get bit parts in Hawaii 5 0, ha ha, wouldn't that be a very nice life to live?!
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I felt up to doing some housecleaning on Facebook given the current political climate. While going through my Friend list, I discovered that even though Cousin Jacka$$ had unfriended me, his profile was still there under the classification of "cousin". The more I thought about it, the more I realized that he has NO business contacting me anymore for ANY reason! I BLOCKED him!
If only there were a real life blocking option, it would make so many situations so much easier! Well done on the housekeeping, Bonesie, we all need a spring clean from time to time xx
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Haven't been able to get online for a while, Bones, I've missed you! Have got a lot of reading to catch up on here, hope you are doing okay :) xx
Thanks, Tupp. xx
I've been taking stuff one day at a time.
How are you doing?
I am a bit up and down at the minute, Bonesie, but getting there - like you, I take one day at a time. I have become obsessed with Hawaii 5 0 and keep dreaming about living on those beautiful beaches and spending my days making jewellery out of shells or something :) xx
I hear ya, ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Tupp)))))))))))))))!!!!!
We can open a shop, Bonesi, selling surf boards and jewellery and get bit parts in Hawaii 5 0, ha ha, wouldn't that be a very nice life to live?!
I love that idea!! LOL!!!
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I felt up to doing some housecleaning on Facebook given the current political climate. While going through my Friend list, I discovered that even though Cousin Jacka$$ had unfriended me, his profile was still there under the classification of "cousin". The more I thought about it, the more I realized that he has NO business contacting me anymore for ANY reason! I BLOCKED him!
If only there were a real life blocking option, it would make so many situations so much easier! Well done on the housekeeping, Bonesie, we all need a spring clean from time to time xx
Thanks! Where I live, we do have the option of calling the police on trespassers. The last time I had any contact with Cousin JackA$$, I ripped him a new one when he tried to use my brother's death as an excuse to go off on a racist rant, making nasty comments about my Dad and the President. Oh HELL TO THE NO!!!!!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2016/5/22/0/housemate-draws-the-line-at-sharing#disqus-comments
This sounds familiar!!!! :P
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2016/5/24/1/bride-resists-extending-wedding-invitations-to#disqus-comments
"Dear Abby" just does NOT get it!!!!
WHY should the bride be forced to invite the NEW IN-LAWS of her DIVORCED father simply because they are the parents of the NEW STEPMOTHER?!?!? They are OBNOXIOUS DRUNKS who cause disruption and chaos everywhere they go!!!!! The LW insists that her daughter MUST invite them in order to "keep the peace"?!?!!? WTF?!?!?!? WHY should the bride be FORCED to have her wedding day F**KED UP BY DRUNKS?!?!?!? "Because their faaaaamily"?!?!?!? OH HELL TO THE NO!!!!!! Bad behavior in public has consequences!!! If one behaves badly in public, then they don't get invited! Sheesh!!!!!!
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Experiencing tears of joy this morning for the Deaf Community!!!! Nyle DiMarco WON!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!
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Experiencing tears of joy this morning for the Deaf Community!!!! Nyle DiMarco WON!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!
Ah Bones that is lovely news, looked him up as I don't watch telly so I miss out on loads of people and oh my word, what a handsome chap, and, it seems, a very good dancer?! I understand he's an advocate/activist for the Deaf Community as well, what a brilliant opportunity to raise awareness and make people a little more knowledgeable. Yay, what nice news to wake up to :) xx
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Yeah! And to think it all started by a serendipitous accident!
He had newly graduated from Gallaudet University, was planning on being a math teacher at a Deaf school so that Deaf kids would have more exposure to Deaf educators and had an account on Instagram. Some people from the show, "America's Next Top Model", happened to find his Instagram account and invited him to compete. The folks at "America's Next Top Model" did NOT know he's Deaf! He accepted their invitation, competed in "America's Next Top Model" and WON!!!! When he received the invitation to compete on "Dancing With The Stars", at first he was going to turn it down because he had NEVER danced before! I think, after discussing it with his family and friends, he decided to go for it! WOW!!!!!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2016/5/26/0/mom-objects-when-kids-are-made#disqus-comments
Sheesh!!! This "mother" is some "special snowflake"! The kids have MORE sense than HER!!!!
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https://www.creators.com/read/annies-mailbox/05/16/sees-no-chance-of-repairing-family
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.................................interesting...............................
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https://www.creators.com/read/at-work-lindsey-novak/05/16/you-must-do-the-job-with-a-reasonable-accommodation
I wish Able-ists would experience Karma!!! I HATE the Able-ist attitude!!!!
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2016/05/dear_prudence_how_can_i_get_my_grumpy_wife_to_go_back_on_antidepressants.html
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https://www.creators.com/read/annies-mailbox/05/16/bringing-adult-children-on-playdates
Showing up with an uninvited guest?!?!?! Chutzpah!!!!!
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https://www.creators.com/read/annies-mailbox/05/16/bringing-adult-children-on-playdates
Showing up with an uninvited guest?!?!?! Chutzpah!!!!!
It's funny how some people have absolutely no consideration for others or for basic manners, and then it puts the other person in such a difficult spot because they are polite and don't want to be rude or offensive!
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Yeah! And to think it all started by a serendipitous accident!
He had newly graduated from Gallaudet University, was planning on being a math teacher at a Deaf school so that Deaf kids would have more exposure to Deaf educators and had an account on Instagram. Some people from the show, "America's Next Top Model", happened to find his Instagram account and invited him to compete. The folks at "America's Next Top Model" did NOT know he's Deaf! He accepted their invitation, competed in "America's Next Top Model" and WON!!!! When he received the invitation to compete on "Dancing With The Stars", at first he was going to turn it down because he had NEVER danced before! I think, after discussing it with his family and friends, he decided to go for it! WOW!!!!!
What a lovely story, Bones, I'm not a big fan of social media but you read some of these sort of stories and you can see the good side of it, what a lot of life changes for him!
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Yeah! And to think it all started by a serendipitous accident!
He had newly graduated from Gallaudet University, was planning on being a math teacher at a Deaf school so that Deaf kids would have more exposure to Deaf educators and had an account on Instagram. Some people from the show, "America's Next Top Model", happened to find his Instagram account and invited him to compete. The folks at "America's Next Top Model" did NOT know he's Deaf! He accepted their invitation, competed in "America's Next Top Model" and WON!!!! When he received the invitation to compete on "Dancing With The Stars", at first he was going to turn it down because he had NEVER danced before! I think, after discussing it with his family and friends, he decided to go for it! WOW!!!!!
What a lovely story, Bones, I'm not a big fan of social media but you read some of these sort of stories and you can see the good side of it, what a lot of life changes for him!
Yeah!! And he won both competitions in less than six months!
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Last night I participated in a police training. Due to medical issues, I'm no longer driving and rode with someone else who was also attending the training. During the hour-long ride to the training site, I attempted to make small talk. The driver's attitude and behaviors set off my N-radar BIG TIME!!! I'm not planning on interacting with THAT person again!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
Why am I getting the feeling that this letter writer is actually asking: "How can I force MY CONTROL down other people's throats?" Her nose ENDS where other people's lives begin!!!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2016/5/31/gay-man-doesnt-welcome-attention-from
This so-called "friend" who keeps trying to force her attentions on the LW sounds like an N.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2016/5/31/0/gay-man-doesnt-welcome-attention-from#disqus-comments
The BTL comments are interesting.
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https://www.creators.com/features/annies-mailbox
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https://www.creators.com/read/at-work-lindsey-novak
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence.html
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While growing up, I thought I had seen Cray-Cray!
THIS takes the cake!!! :shock:
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4ma4x6/pink_lady_is_mad_we_didnt_fly_her_out_in_the/?
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4730xo/telling_barb_no/?
This sounds so familiar!!!!!! GAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
The one about the uncle with the nude calendar! OMG! I don't get some people, why not just say "You're putting me off my dinner" and give it back to him?! :)
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
The one about the uncle with the nude calendar! OMG! I don't get some people, why not just say "You're putting me off my dinner" and give it back to him?! :)
:lol:
I agree!!!! Seeing something like that at dinner?!?!?! UGH!!!!!
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At times I find myself dealing with flashbacks and try to sort through them.
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4n2yhg/mrs_clean_is_back/
LOVE this two and a half year old kid! She's BRILLIANT!!! :D
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I think my PTSD got set off again. One of my friends on FB sent around a video announcing: "Let's shame this woman for refusing to honor the person who gave birth to her!" Yeah....I went off!!!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4n425z/refusing_to_commit_fraud_we_hate_fannybaws/
Wow. Just. Wow. :shock: :?
When I read this, it reminded me of one of the N's I know in 3-D. He has an identical twin brother. Well, this N used to drive like a total fool when he used to have a car. When it came time to renew the driver's license, like we all must do if we want to continue driving, the N-Fool decided that going to the DMV to get his picture taken was just TOO inconvenient. So what does he try to do? He tells his identical twin to do it FOR him! :shock: Needless to say, his twin told him ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! Did the N-Fool accept that, take responsibility, and get his own tushie to the DMV to get his picture taken to renew his license? NO! He just let his driver's license expire AND CONTINUED DRIVING!!!
Well, one night, while he's out on the road, he did something that caught the attention of the local constabulary and he got pulled over. When the police pull you over, what do they usually ask for? Driver's license and proof of insurance. I'm not sure if he let the insurance lapse too. I wouldn't be surprised since he kept trying to dump everything on his twin to "take care of it FOR him" instead of taking care of his own mess. When the police discovered that N-Fool had been driving with a long-ago-expired license, the police did their jobs and arrested him. Guess who he calls from jail? His twin. His twin comes down to bail out N-Fool and N-Fool proceeds to blame his twin for NOT renewing his license FOR him! :shock: :? SMDH!
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https://www.creators.com/read/at-work-lindsey-novak
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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I've been reading some online stuff that has been triggering memories of dealing with N's other than the cray-cray NWomb-Donor, e.g. dealing with the bat$hit family members of my godson when he was born. I didn't know about Narcissism then.
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https://www.creators.com/read/annies-mailbox/06/16/fighting-does-not-go-unnoticed
The BTL Commenters are NOT happy with the Annies! The advice columnists are really showing their special brand of STUPID!!!!
For example, when a young woman was brutally murdered, (I knew this young woman since her mother was pregnant with her), I doubt very seriously that the grieving family would stop and think to write "formal thank you notes" for food that was brought to them! They were in SHOCK for God's Sakes!!!!
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https://www.creators.com/read/annies-mailbox/06/16/fighting-does-not-go-unnoticed
The BTL Commenters are NOT happy with the Annies! The advice columnists are really showing their special brand of STUPID!!!!
For example, when a young woman was brutally murdered, (I knew this young woman since her mother was pregnant with her), I doubt very seriously that the grieving family would stop and think to write "formal thank you notes" for food that was brought to them! They were in SHOCK for God's Sakes!!!!
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Looks like the emojis we used to use are gone for now.
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4mlq06/tales_from_the_jinx_i/?
I knew N's could be psycho!!! And I thought NWomb-Donor was a PSYCHO!!!! This one OUT-PSYCHOED the PSYCHO!!! WHOA!!!!!!
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Just checking in and trying to get used to this new server. I'm wondering what happened to all the smileys and emojis.
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4l7zwk/mil_in_the_wild_abandons_her_grandchild_at_a_pool/?
This is one of those stories where I wish I could post the SHOCK emoji!!!! Ye Gods and Little Fishes!!!!!
Unfortunately, I've seen similar stupidity at the pool where I live because some stupid IDIOT assumed that the lifeguard was automatically a FREE babysitter and they would simply dump their little kids and LEAVE!!! NO!!! JUST!!! NO!!!!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4nimhk/hubs_lays_down_the_law/
LOVE the boundaries there were laid down! This brought up a memory from years ago:
I remember when my godson was born, he essentially had two mommas....Momma Bear, my BFF who was the actual mother and me, Momma Tigress. I was snowed in with the family when my godson was born and heard some stuff that made my hair stand on end! (Case in point, my BFF and her then-husband are both Deaf and I was the interpreter when godson was born in the middle of the Big Blizzard.) While I was snowed in with the family, which included the paternal grandparents and paternal great-grandmother, all hearing, the new baby's great-grandmother kept trying to slip laxatives into every meal I had! (She was fixated on other people's bodily functions. Why? I don't know.) I would simply tell her "No!" as I either picked the laxatives out of the food or I would simply dump it all in the garbage and fix myself something that I knew wasn't tampered with. Did that stop her? Not a chance! She. Just. Kept. Trying.
One day, as I was walking through the house while waiting for my car to get dug out of a snowbank, I overheard the paternal grandmother and paternal great-grandmother planning on slipping laxatives into my newborn godson, (who wasn't even a day old yet!) MOMMA TIGRESS GOT UNLEASHED! I told them both of them that if they touched that newborn infant with laxatives, I was going to knock both of them through a wall! They replied that the baby wasn't going to the bathroom enough! (WTH?!?!?) I told them my threat was serious! I went downstairs to where my BFF and her then-husband were. They were in their bedroom and she was nursing. I told them about what those two dingbats upstairs were planning on doing to the baby and my BFF was LIVID!!! Her then-husband attempted to minimize this mess by stating that it was "only talk" and they would NEVER do anything like that. My BFF looked at him and said: "Oh yeah? Then you tell me why your brother will no longer allow your mother and grandmother to be alone with your nephew!" That's when he had to admit that his mother and grandmother had slipped laxatives into THAT BABY!!! (WTH?!?!? times TWO!!!)
After my BFF finished nursing, she looked really tired and I asked her how could I help. She told me she really needed to take a nap because she had been getting up during the night, several times, to nurse but was afraid of what those two dingbats would do behind her back. Her then-husband was basically useless in the Protection Department. (He did more STUPID stuff later on after I was able to go home. She told me about that mess after I got home.) I asked her if I could be godson's body-guard while she napped and she liked that idea. So I took my godson with me out to the lounger in the other room and had some cuddle time with him on my chest while my BFF took a nap. Her then-husband decided to make himself scarce. (I think he was intimidated by two strong women.) While I was cuddling with him, the two dingbats started to come downstairs and stopped when they saw me glaring at them. I only quietly said: "DON'T even THINK about it!" They turned around and went right back upstairs.
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4m7246/cuntnado_uses_doctors_to_do_her_dirty_deeds/?
This triggers another memory of when my godson was born.
As I previously mentioned, my godson was born in the middle of the Big Blizzard. We managed to get to a nearby hospital just in time. If my BFF had birthed at home, it would have been a nightmare circus with laxative-fixated paternal grandmother, (baby's great-grandmother), getting in the way! (She was a trip all by herself!) Later on, I was interpreting a phone call between the new parents and my godson's then-pediatrician. (A new pediatrician took over later, which is another story in itself.) As the discussion concerning whether or not to circumcise was going on, the new paternal grandmother strides into the room as if she owns the place! (She was still in street clothes while the new daddy and I were still in surgical scrubs and the new mother was in her hospital gown nursing her newborn! What this grandmother was thinking, I wish I knew!) For a few minutes, the new grandmother listens silently as the telephone conversation is going on. The moment the new parents decide to wait on the circumcision until it's medically necessary, based on the pediatrician's advice to wait, the new grandmother starts SCREAMING!!!! "YOUR BABY IS GOING TO HATE YOU!!!!" (WTF?!?!? WT FLYING F?!?!?) The pediatrician asked me: "Who in the HELL is THAT?!?!?" I informed him that it's the baby's grandmother. The pediatrician, rightly informed this dingbat, (through me, given that this is being done via telephone), that this decision belongs STRICTLY to the parents and the grandmother needs to BUTT OUT!!! She continues to scream that the new parents are DEAF and the GRANDMOTHER needs to take charge! (OH HELL TO THE NO!!!! Those are FIGHTING words!) The new grandmother attempts to order the pediatrician to ignore the new parents, because they are DEAF, and that the pediatrician needs to OBEY the grandmother instead! The doctor told her to back off again and that he does not permit grandparents to interfere! (YAY, DOC!) She continues to scream, "WELL, I AM GOING TO FIND A PEDIATRICIAN WHO WILL DO WHAT I WANT!!!" That's when the pediatrician, me, and the new parents informed her in no uncertain terms that if she tries THAT, she will experience legal consequences that she will NOT like! When she realized she was outnumbered, she shut her trap about circumcision.
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4nmbr6/mil_in_the_wild_brought_to_you_by_walmart/
Whoa.
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I think my PTSD got set off again. One of my friends on FB sent around a video announcing: "Let's shame this woman for refusing to honor the person who gave birth to her!" Yeah....I went off!!!
Ah Bones, sorry to read that, one of the things that made me stop using Facebook was other people's lack of empathy and caring; people do send out all sorts of crap with no thought for friends it might upset, for whatever reason. I hate all this online shaming crap that goes on, it's so damaging and in an awful lot of situations people don't know the full story and may unwittingly be supporting some kind of abusive act. I think it's very passive aggressive behaviour to sort of call someone out in some way and then try and get loads of people to agree with it. I'm glad you had a go about it and hope you feel a bit better soon xx
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https://www.creators.com/read/annies-mailbox/06/16/fighting-does-not-go-unnoticed
The BTL Commenters are NOT happy with the Annies! The advice columnists are really showing their special brand of STUPID!!!!
For example, when a young woman was brutally murdered, (I knew this young woman since her mother was pregnant with her), I doubt very seriously that the grieving family would stop and think to write "formal thank you notes" for food that was brought to them! They were in SHOCK for God's Sakes!!!!
Wow I was really suprised by that one, I've never known anyone expect a thank you card for doing something after a death occurs?! People just pop round with stuff and leave it on the doorstep, I always thought? It would be the other way round, surely, you writing to them to say how sorry you are and if there's anything you can do etc? It's funny the way some people's minds work.
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I think my PTSD got set off again. One of my friends on FB sent around a video announcing: "Let's shame this woman for refusing to honor the person who gave birth to her!" Yeah....I went off!!!
Ah Bones, sorry to read that, one of the things that made me stop using Facebook was other people's lack of empathy and caring; people do send out all sorts of crap with no thought for friends it might upset, for whatever reason. I hate all this online shaming crap that goes on, it's so damaging and in an awful lot of situations people don't know the full story and may unwittingly be supporting some kind of abusive act. I think it's very passive aggressive behaviour to sort of call someone out in some way and then try and get loads of people to agree with it. I'm glad you had a go about it and hope you feel a bit better soon xx
Thanks, Tupp.
-
https://www.creators.com/read/annies-mailbox/06/16/fighting-does-not-go-unnoticed
The BTL Commenters are NOT happy with the Annies! The advice columnists are really showing their special brand of STUPID!!!!
For example, when a young woman was brutally murdered, (I knew this young woman since her mother was pregnant with her), I doubt very seriously that the grieving family would stop and think to write "formal thank you notes" for food that was brought to them! They were in SHOCK for God's Sakes!!!!
Wow I was really suprised by that one, I've never known anyone expect a thank you card for doing something after a death occurs?! People just pop round with stuff and leave it on the doorstep, I always thought? It would be the other way round, surely, you writing to them to say how sorry you are and if there's anything you can do etc? It's funny the way some people's minds work.
Yeah! My experiences has been to send sympathy cards, bring food, sit with them, ask what can I do to help, etc. I have NEVER expected nor demanded a "Thank You Note"! This letter-writer who got offended because the bereaved didn't write a formal Thank-You note for the food she brought must be some kind of "special snow flake"! With friends like her, who needs enemies?
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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https://www.creators.com/features/annies-mailbox
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/3rkuxx/when_mil_asked_her_6_year_oldson_to_pay_her_back/?
I wish there was the emoji for "jaw on the floor"!! Entitled much? SHEESH!!!!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/3xrh9m/you_can_have_the_baby_yourself_right/?
Just when I thought I heard it all about Narcissists and then I see THIS!!!!!!!
She didn't want "strange men" in her house (meaning the professional moving company)! GAH!!!!
Makes me think of NDoofus who dug in her heels when her mother's doctor told her that she needed to make arrangements because it was NO LONGER SAFE to leave her mother home alone while she was at work! I'm sitting there looking at her, with my jaw on the floor, as she announces: "I DON'T WANT STRANGERS IN MY HOUSE!" The doctor repeats that it is NO LONGER SAFE to leave her mother home alone while she is at work! Then NDoofus looks at me and says, (to me): "You can do it!" My response: "No! I'm working part-time at this point, about to go into full-time 40-hours per week, and her mother's condition has reached the point where she has to have PROFESSIONALLY TRAINED people to care for her! I am NOT it!" NDoofus sticks out her lip: "But I don't want strangers in MY house!" The doctor lists the following possible options: (a) Visiting nurses who are PROFESSIONALLY TRAINED for situations like this, (b) Adult Day Care, (c) Nursing home that is specifically for Alzheimer's patients. (Glenn Campbell went to one at one point.) She starts to get all passive-aggressive and refuses to consider anything because (a) she does NOT want strangers in her house, (b) SHE does NOT like the way Adult Day Care smells, (c) SHE does NOT like the idea of nursing home facilities AT ALL! She looks at me, AGAIN, and announces: "YOU CAN DO IT!" I repeat a simple sentence: "NO!" Her response: "BUUUUUT.....I'll PAY you!!!!" I repeat the same simple sentence: "NO!" (She HATES the word "NO" and started blathering and badgering me in the vain hope that I'll change my "NO!" to a "YES!" for HER CONVENIENCE! (The NO! stayed NO! I am NOT professionally trained as a nurse for situations and conditions like this! The liabilities are too great!) She attempts to ignore the doctor and leaves her mother home alone. The doctor calls in Adult Protective Services and she is forced to pick a door, Door #1, Door #2, or Door #3! NDoofus was PISSED because someone DARED say "NO!" to what SHE wanted!!!!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/471zv6/cram_it_janet_the_one_where_shes_suffering_from_a/?
Wait!!!! What?!?!?!? Oh HELL TO THE NO!!!!!!!!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/3xrh9m/you_can_have_the_baby_yourself_right/?
Just when I thought I heard it all about Narcissists and then I see THIS!!!!!!!
She didn't want "strange men" in her house (meaning the professional moving company)! GAH!!!!
Makes me think of NDoofus who dug in her heels when her mother's doctor told her that she needed to make arrangements because it was NO LONGER SAFE to leave her mother home alone while she was at work! I'm sitting there looking at her, with my jaw on the floor, as she announces: "I DON'T WANT STRANGERS IN MY HOUSE!" The doctor repeats that it is NO LONGER SAFE to leave her mother home alone while she is at work! Then NDoofus looks at me and says, (to me): "You can do it!" My response: "No! I'm working part-time at this point, about to go into full-time 40-hours per week, and her mother's condition has reached the point where she has to have PROFESSIONALLY TRAINED people to care for her! I am NOT it!" NDoofus sticks out her lip: "But I don't want strangers in MY house!" The doctor lists the following possible options: (a) Visiting nurses who are PROFESSIONALLY TRAINED for situations like this, (b) Adult Day Care, (c) Nursing home that is specifically for Alzheimer's patients. (Glenn Campbell went to one at one point.) She starts to get all passive-aggressive and refuses to consider anything because (a) she does NOT want strangers in her house, (b) SHE does NOT like the way Adult Day Care smells, (c) SHE does NOT like the idea of nursing home facilities AT ALL! She looks at me, AGAIN, and announces: "YOU CAN DO IT!" I repeat a simple sentence: "NO!" Her response: "BUUUUUT.....I'll PAY you!!!!" I repeat the same simple sentence: "NO!" (She HATES the word "NO" and started blathering and badgering me in the vain hope that I'll change my "NO!" to a "YES!" for HER CONVENIENCE! (The NO! stayed NO! I am NOT professionally trained as a nurse for situations and conditions like this! The liabilities are too great!) She attempts to ignore the doctor and leaves her mother home alone. The doctor calls in Adult Protective Services and she is forced to pick a door, Door #1, Door #2, or Door #3! NDoofus was PISSED because someone DARED say "NO!" to what SHE wanted!!!!
I've found saying 'No' affected my mum so badly because there's no wriggle room. I remember my T at the time telling me to say "I don't want to" when asked why not instead of listing my reasons as it shut down the endless arguing that usually resulted in me giving in. Good job the doc was on side in your situation, Bones, and had lots of other options.
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/3xrh9m/you_can_have_the_baby_yourself_right/?
Just when I thought I heard it all about Narcissists and then I see THIS!!!!!!!
She didn't want "strange men" in her house (meaning the professional moving company)! GAH!!!!
Makes me think of NDoofus who dug in her heels when her mother's doctor told her that she needed to make arrangements because it was NO LONGER SAFE to leave her mother home alone while she was at work! I'm sitting there looking at her, with my jaw on the floor, as she announces: "I DON'T WANT STRANGERS IN MY HOUSE!" The doctor repeats that it is NO LONGER SAFE to leave her mother home alone while she is at work! Then NDoofus looks at me and says, (to me): "You can do it!" My response: "No! I'm working part-time at this point, about to go into full-time 40-hours per week, and her mother's condition has reached the point where she has to have PROFESSIONALLY TRAINED people to care for her! I am NOT it!" NDoofus sticks out her lip: "But I don't want strangers in MY house!" The doctor lists the following possible options: (a) Visiting nurses who are PROFESSIONALLY TRAINED for situations like this, (b) Adult Day Care, (c) Nursing home that is specifically for Alzheimer's patients. (Glenn Campbell went to one at one point.) She starts to get all passive-aggressive and refuses to consider anything because (a) she does NOT want strangers in her house, (b) SHE does NOT like the way Adult Day Care smells, (c) SHE does NOT like the idea of nursing home facilities AT ALL! She looks at me, AGAIN, and announces: "YOU CAN DO IT!" I repeat a simple sentence: "NO!" Her response: "BUUUUUT.....I'll PAY you!!!!" I repeat the same simple sentence: "NO!" (She HATES the word "NO" and started blathering and badgering me in the vain hope that I'll change my "NO!" to a "YES!" for HER CONVENIENCE! (The NO! stayed NO! I am NOT professionally trained as a nurse for situations and conditions like this! The liabilities are too great!) She attempts to ignore the doctor and leaves her mother home alone. The doctor calls in Adult Protective Services and she is forced to pick a door, Door #1, Door #2, or Door #3! NDoofus was PISSED because someone DARED say "NO!" to what SHE wanted!!!!
I've found saying 'No' affected my mum so badly because there's no wriggle room. I remember my T at the time telling me to say "I don't want to" when asked why not instead of listing my reasons as it shut down the endless arguing that usually resulted in me giving in. Good job the doc was on side in your situation, Bones, and had lots of other options.
Yeah! It was the doctor who started the conversation to begin with and NDoofus just did NOT want to accept the reality of the situation. She HATED being forced to do what needed to be done! It didn't stop her from continuing to harass me until I finally when NC. She did try ONE MORE TIME, after NC, to turn up on my doorstop, until she remembered that I told her I would call the cops for trespassing, and I heard her scurrying away from my door. Unfortunately, she left garbage behind that stunk! That crap went to the dumpster!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4nv0x1/mil_in_the_wild_mother_of_the_groom/
I LOVE the way this young couple handled the BAT$HIT!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4nw6gy/i_want_to_murder_my_fmil/
I've seen Mama Bear in action and I've been Mama Tigress when protecting kids!
N-Idiot learned the hard way...do NOT mess with PAPA BEAR nor attack PAPA BEAR'S CUB!!
BAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/471zv6/cram_it_janet_the_one_where_shes_suffering_from_a/?
Wait!!!! What?!?!?!? Oh HELL TO THE NO!!!!!!!!
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4nwb43/cram_it_janet_the_birthday_present_hostage_crisis/
What part of the word "NO!" does this N NOT understand?!?!?
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4nvxsl/my_mil_tried_to_starve_me_once_or_the_tale_pf_how/
Gotta LOVE the Karma Goddess!!!!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4nwdyw/you_have_to_do_what_blanche_wants_on_your_birthday/
Excuse me?!?!? You DECREE WHAT?!?!?! Simple answer: NO!
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence.html
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4nxe8z/bec_moment_involving_mil_and_tomatoes/
What is it with N's and tomatoes?
When a group of us were invited to celebrate the 90th birthday of NDoofus' mother ... at the end of the party, NDoofus excitedly announces that she has "party favors" to give to each of the guests. What does she do? She plops a fresh, ripe tomato in front of each guest, then stands back and preens! We all looked at the tomatoes, looked at each other, then got up and LEFT the tomatoes behind! NDoofus couldn't understand WHY nobody wanted them! SMDH!!!!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/464150/cram_it_janet_the_magic_pen/?
This was so STUPID that it's laugh-out-loud FUNNY!!!!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4nxrce/mil_offered_to_drive_my_kids_to_her_house_while/
"Going to become an addict"? With the denials that were flying left and right, all the red flags are there! I think MIL has already crossed that line and denial is NOT a river in Egypt!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4ny0sc/this_is_the_story_of_when_my_mom_met_my_first/
This N did WHAT to her son and his gf?!?!? I'm glad he saw the light!!!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4nyghh/wherein_pb_is_a_medical_miracle/
If I had a 12-year-old child and my relative pulled a stunt like this on my kid, that N would NOT be talking to my kid AGAIN EVER!!!! This would be either a time-out or a PERMANENT NC!!!! :x
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Everything's changed! This is going to take some getting used to!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4nyoq8/update_on_stalking_mil_she_showed_up_at_my_job/
WTH?!?!?!?! :shock:
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4o02hl/the_wedding_dress_debacle/
The comments below the story had me cracking up!!! :lol:
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https://www.creators.com/features/annies-mailbox
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2016/6/14/1/good-wishes-is-all-the-wedding#disqus-comments
Excuse me? She expects her ADULT son and soon-to-be-daughter-in-law to CONSULT with HER regarding WHEN to get married?!?!? Lady, GET OVER YOURSELF!!!! It is NOT! ABOUT!! YOU!!! (I expect there is more to this story than the LW is willing to admit to. The LW sounds like an N!)
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/44sgz0/vic_wont_let_me_go_to_the_hospital/?
The dingbat "Vic" sounds a LOT like my late N-grandfather! GEEZ!!!! Similar stupidity about hospitals!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4hvvh5/mildred_and_my_interesting_wedding/?
"Mildred" sounds a lot like N-Womb-Donor regarding being picky about food. If it wasn't "American", then it was "too inferior" for HER! One time she was complaining at me because I was eating some Asian food, that I happen to LOVE and kept b*tching about how SHE wouldn't eat THAT because it's "NOT AMERICAN"! I told her then she can go hungry and stay out of my plate! Then she complained about the soy sauce on my plate and kept asking me WHY I wasn't eating THAT WITH A FORK! (DUH!!! Forks can't pick up soy sauce, IDIOT! It's seasoning for my food and I AM USING IT ON MY FOOD!) :roll:
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4egxzd/lwaxana_and_chapter_12_if_you_dont_back_off_im/?
From one Trekkie to another, I would NOT have blamed the LW if she had clocked this obnoxious witch! The BAT$H*T was told SEVERAL TIMES, do NOT touch! What does she do? Kept grabbing!!! If that had been me, I would have broken some bones....AGAIN!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4gk2rj/thought_i_would_share_my_brothers_xfmil/?
Reading about these freeloading moochers reminds me of a dingbat that tried to pull the same stunt on a group I'm a member of. Fun times!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4b0iyd/fmil_doesnt_understand_parental_leave_is_for/?
Sounds like this fmil has the "Baby Rabies" and she is BAT$HIT CRAY-CRAY!!! I'm glad they told her "NO!"
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4lea9t/911_whats_your_emergency/?
The title kind of threw me off....then I started reading....ROTFLMAO!!!!!! :lol:
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4lea9t/911_whats_your_emergency/?
The title kind of threw me off....then I started reading....ROTFLMAO!!!!!! :lol:
Someone in the UK rang 999 (our emergency number) because the ice cream man hadn't put the sprinkles evenly on both sides of her ice cream and when she asked him to do so he refused. They were playing the actual call on the radio, you just can't get what's going on in some people's heads sometimes :)
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4lea9t/911_whats_your_emergency/?
The title kind of threw me off....then I started reading....ROTFLMAO!!!!!! :lol:
Someone in the UK rang 999 (our emergency number) because the ice cream man hadn't put the sprinkles evenly on both sides of her ice cream and when she asked him to do so he refused. They were playing the actual call on the radio, you just can't get what's going on in some people's heads sometimes :)
OMG!!!!!
One of the FUNNIEST was illustrated on a TV show called "America's Stupidest Criminals". This guy accidentally dialed 911 and hung up. When 911 gets a hang-up call, their enhanced system shows the address and the police are dispatched to see what's going on. Turned out that the guy who accidentally dialed 911 was a drug dealer and got BUSTED for all the stash he had in his house! He called the cops on himself! :lol:
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4gk2rj/thought_i_would_share_my_brothers_xfmil/?
Reading about these freeloading moochers reminds me of a dingbat that tried to pull the same stunt on a group I'm a member of. Fun times!
I hate it when people don't pay up or make a fuss about doing it! I went out with a small group of friends for my birthday one year, just four of us. Two didn't want to spend any money, ordered the cheapest dish on the menu, drank tap water, wouldn't have a pudding or a starter (and don't get me wrong, there are times when I'm really skint and can't pay for a night out but neither of these two were short of cash, just tight with it). Myself and the other friend ate loads, drank loads of wine and just enjoyed ourselves whilst the other two looked on. When it came to pay the bill the waiter told us a man at the bar had covered it and we didn't need to pay! Their faces when they discovered they'd missed out on a free slap up meal were priceless :) x
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4gk2rj/thought_i_would_share_my_brothers_xfmil/?
Reading about these freeloading moochers reminds me of a dingbat that tried to pull the same stunt on a group I'm a member of. Fun times!
I hate it when people don't pay up or make a fuss about doing it! I went out with a small group of friends for my birthday one year, just four of us. Two didn't want to spend any money, ordered the cheapest dish on the menu, drank tap water, wouldn't have a pudding or a starter (and don't get me wrong, there are times when I'm really skint and can't pay for a night out but neither of these two were short of cash, just tight with it). Myself and the other friend ate loads, drank loads of wine and just enjoyed ourselves whilst the other two looked on. When it came to pay the bill the waiter told us a man at the bar had covered it and we didn't need to pay! Their faces when they discovered they'd missed out on a free slap up meal were priceless :) x
ROTFLMAO!!!! :lol:
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4lea9t/911_whats_your_emergency/?
The title kind of threw me off....then I started reading....ROTFLMAO!!!!!! :lol:
Someone in the UK rang 999 (our emergency number) because the ice cream man hadn't put the sprinkles evenly on both sides of her ice cream and when she asked him to do so he refused. They were playing the actual call on the radio, you just can't get what's going on in some people's heads sometimes :)
OMG!!!!!
One of the FUNNIEST was illustrated on a TV show called "America's Stupidest Criminals". This guy accidentally dialed 911 and hung up. When 911 gets a hang-up call, their enhanced system shows the address and the police are dispatched to see what's going on. Turned out that the guy who accidentally dialed 911 was a drug dealer and got BUSTED for all the stash he had in his house! He called the cops on himself! :lol:
Ha ha oh Bones, that's brilliant! It's not really a number you can call accidentally, is it, you do wonder what some people are thinking. What a wally :)
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4lea9t/911_whats_your_emergency/?
The title kind of threw me off....then I started reading....ROTFLMAO!!!!!! :lol:
Someone in the UK rang 999 (our emergency number) because the ice cream man hadn't put the sprinkles evenly on both sides of her ice cream and when she asked him to do so he refused. They were playing the actual call on the radio, you just can't get what's going on in some people's heads sometimes :)
OMG!!!!!
One of the FUNNIEST was illustrated on a TV show called "America's Stupidest Criminals". This guy accidentally dialed 911 and hung up. When 911 gets a hang-up call, their enhanced system shows the address and the police are dispatched to see what's going on. Turned out that the guy who accidentally dialed 911 was a drug dealer and got BUSTED for all the stash he had in his house! He called the cops on himself! :lol:
Ha ha oh Bones, that's brilliant! It's not really a number you can call accidentally, is it, you do wonder what some people are thinking. What a wally :)
LOL!!!! Definitely!
BTW, since I'm not familiar with all British colloquialisms, what is "a wally"? :D
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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https://www.creators.com/features/annies-mailbox
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4o35p0/momma_t_is_demanding_a_reception_again/
How many know an N like this?
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4o2bgn/mil_in_the_wild_two_tonne_buffalos/
Wow. Entitled much?
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4o5ky8/when_my_mil_creates_an_international_border_issue/
This would be good for a Sit-Com! :lol: Oh, wait! Didn't this happen on Seinfeld?
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4di05y/my_husband_didnt_answer_his_phone_so_naturally/?
They. Did. WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Ohhhhhhhhh HELL TO THE NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4l7kju/mil_in_the_wild_blink_once_for_yes_twice_for_no/?
:shock: :shock: :shock:
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4l7kju/mil_in_the_wild_blink_once_for_yes_twice_for_no/?
:shock: :shock: :shock:
Argh this has been my mum's trick for years! She's got so much information out of people and so many people running around after her by pulling the 'we don't know where they are/the police are looking for them/tup's mentally unstable and the baby's at risk' blah blah blah and so many people have fallen for it and either come after me or given her what she was asking for. My sister rang me one Christmas to check I was staying at my friend's, as arranged (which I was), and then informed me that half the county was looking for me because my mum had told everyone I had gone on the run with my son and the police couldn't locate me (although funnily enough my sister managed to locate me easily enough by RINGING MY PHONE). It was a nightmare, then another friend called and said my step-dad had turned up at his house demanding to know where I was and when my friend said he didn't know (which he didn't) said he'd call the police and get him done for obstruction. They take craziness to another level!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4l7kju/mil_in_the_wild_blink_once_for_yes_twice_for_no/?
:shock: :shock: :shock:
Argh this has been my mum's trick for years! She's got so much information out of people and so many people running around after her by pulling the 'we don't know where they are/the police are looking for them/tup's mentally unstable and the baby's at risk' blah blah blah and so many people have fallen for it and either come after me or given her what she was asking for. My sister rang me one Christmas to check I was staying at my friend's, as arranged (which I was), and then informed me that half the county was looking for me because my mum had told everyone I had gone on the run with my son and the police couldn't locate me (although funnily enough my sister managed to locate me easily enough by RINGING MY PHONE). It was a nightmare, then another friend called and said my step-dad had turned up at his house demanding to know where I was and when my friend said he didn't know (which he didn't) said he'd call the police and get him done for obstruction. They take craziness to another level!
WHOA!!! I am SO GLAD you are NC with those NUT JOBS!!!! :shock: I know, here in the states, police do NOT take kindly to false reports! If that ding bat had pulled that here and the police realized she was making false accusations, she would have been visiting inside of a jail cell herself!
I remember, one time, years ago when I was working in the admissions office of a university, we had a few incidents similar to this. In the states, we have a law called "The Buckley Amendment" that protects the privacy of adult students. This prevents knuckleheads from coming in and demanding information on any student without the student's explicit WRITTEN permission that is kept in the file. On more than one occasion, we've had parents come in DEMANDING private information and we refer them straight back to the student they birthed. The student is an adult, they need to have that adult conversation with their adult offspring. We were NOT going to divulge any information without the student's knowledge. This one day, a police officer strolls in and demands information. I asked for his warrant, (officers are supposed to produce one with demands like that). The dude flashes his badge at me and I told him, "Nope, that is NOT a warrant!" He threatened to arrest me for obstruction and I told him, "Take me to court and I will cite the Buckley Amendment to the judge!" That shut him up and he left.
-
https://www.creators.com/features/annies-mailbox
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
-
https://www.creators.com/read/at-work-lindsey-novak
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/42hoj8/mil_and_the_car_seat/?
What part of the word "NO" does this MIL NOT understand?
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4oc865/slagatha_and_the_new_baby_long/
This N deserved getting PUNCHED OUT!!!! YAY NEW MOM!!! YOU GO GIRL!!!
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence.html
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4ofwxd/we_are_bad_people_for_not_wanting_mils_deadbeat/
This N-MIL is BAT$HIT!!!!!!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4b4f95/ah_ah_ah_your_truth_is_showing_mil/?
This N-MIL got so BUSTED!!!! Karma!!!!!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4otfnk/boundaries_are_made_to_be_overstepped_clearly/
After reading this, it triggered another memory. I'm not sure if I had mentioned the memory before or not. This situation took place not long after I moved away from home and was living on my own. (This was during the 70's and gas prices were horrible!)
One day, I get a phone call from NWomb-Donor asking me what I had planned for a given period of time. (Yeah, warning flags and red alert klaxons are going off as soon as I heard that question.) I told her I wasn't sure yet as I had some school projects to work on and I asked her why she needed to know. She goes into this spiel of how she and her unmarried sister wanted to go visit "Aunt So-and-so" because they were "SO CONCERNED" about "Aunt So-and-so's" well-being, etc., etc.
(Uh-uh! I call bull$hit on this!) To give some background, "Aunt So-and-so" is NOT related by blood. She was formerly married to NWomb-donor's brother and they divorced before I was born. I had NEVER met the lady and wouldn't recognize her if I bumped into her on the street. For YEARS, EVERY SINGLE TIME the name of "Aunt So-and-so" was mentioned, NWomb-Donor would spit and curse her name and begin gossiping about the latest dirt she heard from her brother. This hostile gossiping continued until about December 1973 when my uncle, NWomb-donor's brother, shot and killed himself. Without NWomb-donor's brother, the source of the "dirt" came to a screeching halt! My gut was telling me that NWomb-donor was looking for an opportunity to get fresh "dirt" to gossip about and wanted to use me to get it! Oh! Hell to the NO!!! To add to all of this, "Aunt So-and-so" lived several hundred miles away so this would NOT be a short or cheap road trip by ANY means!
I commented that we needed to calculate all the costs of the gas, plus food, lodging, etc. and divide it three ways...NWomb-Donor would pay a third, the unmarried aunt would pay a third, and I would pay a third. NWomb-Donor got PISSED and started yelling at me about how DARE I ask for that because "WE'RE FAAAAAAAMILY!" (Yeah! Right, B!TCH!! How CONVENIENT for YOU!) I shouted back: "Have you seen the prices at the gas pumps lately?!? I am NOT eating the ENTIRE costs for a several hundred mile round trip to go visit somebody that I have NEVER met!" NWomb-donor said she would talk to the unmarried aunt and get back to me. A little while later, I get another phone call angrily telling me that the proposed trip has been cancelled and she slams the phone in my ear!
I went back to what I had originally planned to do to begin with and let her stew in her own juices. Saved me a lot of aggravation by saying "NO!" I didn't realize until decades later that I had set a boundary and stuck to it.
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4ovojc/hubby_the_hero_or_how_dh_stood_up_to_my_dad/
This N learned the hard way....do NOT mess with a Marine!!! Semper Fi!!!!!
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https://www.creators.com/features/annies-mailbox
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence.html
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4p3buw/slagatha_and_how_she_got_kicked_out_of_our_church/
I'm reading this and I'm so sorely tempted to punch out this EVIL N!!!! :evil:
WT ACTUAL F?!?!?!?!?!?
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4p4sli/magda_accepted_our_out_of_court_settlement/
This N is a SOCIOPATH/PSYCHOPATH!!!! :shock:
She should have been locked up and the key thrown away!!!!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4bltvq/microwave_ovens_are_serious_business/?
Reading about this microwave stuff reminded me of some ridiculous nonsense that NDoofus did.
For years, NDoofus held onto an ancient toaster oven that was literally falling apart. She had the door of it wired up in some kind of wonky way that just didn't function right. If you even looked at it, the door would fall off and then she would attempt to re-wire it back on in the same wonky way. I asked her why couldn't she just get a new toaster oven since this thing was clearly on its last legs. It wasn't even heating up properly anymore. She kept insisting that it was "fine".
When her mother needed to have in-home nursing care because it was no longer safe to leave an Alzheimer's patient alone anymore, NDoofus insisted that the visiting nurse use only the crappy, malfunctioning, falling-apart, toaster oven to prepare meals for her mother. She specifically told the visiting nurse that she was NOT allowed to touch the stove! (WTF is up with THAT?!?!?) :? Because NDoofus' mother was also diabetic, in addition to having Alzheimer's, she needed to eat properly. That wonky toaster oven just was NOT cutting it when it wouldn't heat up half the time. After all that crap with the toaster oven, one of the visiting nurses GAVE NDoofus a BRAND-NEW toaster oven, with all the bells and whistles, for Christmas! I thought that was the nicest thing anyone could do for someone else, especially given the circumstances. Did NDoofus appreciate that? NOPE!!! She threw a tantrum because she was insulted that a "lesser being" acted like an equal to her by giving her something nice! It took me a few more years to finally understand what an N, and racist, she really was!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4i54gq/the_time_my_mil_made_my_mothers_death_about_her/?
This triggered another memory of how insensitive N's can be!
I think I mentioned this memory a few years ago or so. I'll have to search to see if I did. NDoofus pulled some NASTY crap on her husband within MINUTES of husband losing his Dad! The husband of NDoofus was at his parents' house, at his Dad's bedside, as the Dad died! The man's body wasn't even COLD yet when NDoofus is blowing up the phone at the in-laws' home DEMANDING a bunch of STUPID crap!!!
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This is the memory that was triggered:
Thanks, Seasons.
This incident took place shortly before I learned about N-ism. I was visiting with NDoofus one evening. During the visit, she informed me that her husband was with his parents because husband's father had taken a turn for the worse. (The father-in-law had been in ill health for a long time.) At one point, during the course of the evening, the phone rang. It was NDoofus' husband informing her that his father, (her father-in-law), had just died at home and that he will stay as long as necessary to deal with the aftermath. I expected NDoofus to either cry, cut our visit short, tell her husband she was on her way to support him....SOMETHING APPROPRIATE! She just acted matter-of-fact about the situation. (It struck me as odd then but I didn't know what words to put to it.)
After she hung up the phone, she decided she wanted to watch one of her DVDs. (My gut-instinct kept telling me that something just wasn't right about the situation but I didn't know why.) After she chose which movie she wanted to watch, she expected me to set up her DVD player FOR her! (Huh?!?!?) I asked her where she keeps all the user manuals because their electronic set up is a LOT more complicated than mine and I didn't feel comfortable blindly fiddling with anything. All I got was a blank stare and a comment that her husband normally takes care of this kind of stuff FOR her. I pointed out that he is not available right now and asked, again, where the user manuals for their electronic equipment is kept. Again, the blank stare. I figured, at that point, that I was going to have to logically figure out, on my own, where the most likely place might be to store user manuals for her electronics and began to systematically search. Instead of assisting me in the search, NDoofus gets on the phone and calls her husband at his parents' home!
I was appalled!!!! Her husband's father had just died! The body is still in the house and is barely cold! And NDoofus is calling her husband, in the midst of this tragedy asking him to walk her through the DVD setup because she wants to watch a movie NOW! Even though I was across the room from where she was standing, I could hear him yelling at her through the telephone and I did NOT blame him for his reaction! After he bawled her out for her insensitivity, she hangs up the phone and complains that her husband was being "difficult"! HUH?!?!?!?
If I knew then what I know now, I would have cut and run a L-O-N-G time ago!!!!!!!
Bones
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4pbxu8/introducing_buffamonteezi/
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :shock:
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https://www.creators.com/read/at-work-lindsey-novak
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4pgjk8/crazy_mil_sneaks_into_my_house_while_im_at_work/
Can we say TRESPASSING?!?!?!?!?
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4phdxq/slagatha_stalks_me_for_a_while/
This is SERIOUSLY scary and, what makes it worse, the cops AIDED THE STALKER!!!! :shock:
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:|
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4poyjy/old_relationships_baby_shower_post/
What part of the word "NO!" did this N NOT understand?!?!?!?
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4pq3qi/pennywise_has_went_to_far_this_time/
:shock: :!:
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4pqajm/were_literally_killing_her_aka_my_husband_stood/
What..........The........???????????????????????????? :shock:
These N's LIED and STOLE $7,000.00 and THEY are trying to play VICTIM?!?!?!? They're lucky they are NOT in JAIL!!!!!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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https://www.creators.com/features/annies-mailbox
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4c572u/hyacinths_hijinks_the_missed_graduation/?
As soon as the original poster described the N as "Danny DeVito in drag", I was grabbing the brain bleach, mental floss, and a wire scrub brush!!! EW!!! :P
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4pv40u/mother_in_law_comes_to_camp_and_berates_grandson/
Gotta LOVE the Karma Goddess!!!! The N deserved what she got! :lol:
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4pvvms/gobbler_and_the_almost_flash_frozen_baby/
She.....did....WHAT?!?!?!?!? :shock:
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4eb2ry/last_night_i_told_mil_find_another_place_to_live/?
This N deliberately endangered a newborn!! I would have gone BALLISTIC on her!!! :evil:
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence.html
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4q5e7z/mil_and_grandparents_day_school_special/
Karma is going to get that N! :x
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2016/6/28/boyfriends-moms-disapproval-looms-over-couples
Another "Mother-in-law-in-the-wild".
When I was reading about how this MIL was attempting to force her religion down the throat of this LW, it reminded me of the person I used to sublet from. She was formerly a Lutheran who converted to Catholic. I have no problem with anyone who converts...that's their personal decision and it's none of my business. But this DINGBAT started using the fact that I'm subletting HER apartment to start RAMMING HER ORDERS DOWN MY THROAT TO BECOME CATHOLIC!!! She got told, "Hell to the NO! That decision is EXTREMELY PERSONAL and comes under the category of NONE-YOUR!" She started screaming at me about how GOD PUT HER IN CHARGE and GOD TOLD HER TO ORDER ME TO BECOME CATHOLIC!! :shock: The NO stayed NO and I eventually walked away from all organized religion because I got so sick and tired of the religious politics of: "If YOU don't believe EXACTLY THE SAME WAY I BELIEVE, then YOU will go to hell!" Stick a fork in it!!!
Interestingly enough, when this DINGBAT died three years ago, she was no longer affiliated with ANY Catholic church in the diocese she was living in!!! :shock: She was actively involved with a group of "former Catholics"!!! Knowing the way she often tried to bulldoze people into doing what she dictated, I'm wondering if she finally wore out the patience of all the priests and they all told her to "get lost".
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4q9kb1/how_many_restraining_order_violations_does_it/
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4qaefl/passive_aggy_and_the_dogs/
WTF is this N THINKING?!?!?!?!?!?
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4qg0jl/the_crazy_maker_and_the_dogs_stitches/
To me, this is deliberate animal cruelty! I would break her hands for touching that dog!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4eg2kd/mother_creating_hell_for_future_sil/
What IS it with N's who think they can dictate a party that they are NOT hosting and are NOT the Guest of Honor?!?!?!?
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https://www.creators.com/features/annies-mailbox
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4qi9og/a_letter_to_my_fmil_that_i_will_never_send_but/
Letter to an N!!! I LOVE IT!!!!! :D
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4qhvfa/quiverful_mil_doesnt_understand_why_we_dont_have/
When I read that comment from the NMIL about this young couple "being sinners" and "going against God's plan", etc., it reminded me of what I heard from the N I used to sublet from. Her then-son-in-law had gotten a vasectomy, WITHOUT HER PERMISSION, and one of the things she yelled and screamed during her tantrum was how her daughter and son-in-law were "going against God's Law!" (I thought it was interesting that she was NOT offering to help feed and clothe the two children that they already had and offer to help feed and clothe the third child that was already on the way.) :P
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4qiq5j/because_last_minute_plans_are_my_favorite/
Why do N's think that you can instantaneously DROP your plans/schedules at LITERALLY THE LAST MINUTE for THEIR CONVENIENCE?!?!? :shock:
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https://www.creators.com/read/at-work-lindsey-novak/06/16/branding-oneself-is-now-a-requirement-not-an-option
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https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie
Dear Annie is taking over from Annie's Mailbox. The previous two advice columnists just posted their farewell message today.
https://www.creators.com/read/annies-mailbox/06/16/living-our-live-to-the-fullest
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4qkxvg/lol_crazy_cat_lady_told_on_me_you_guys_im_grounded/
This makes me laugh!!!!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4qly71/just_found_this_sub_stories_galore_this_one_is/
This reminds me of a memory of a NASTY feud that erupted between my parents and the neighbors next door over a peach tree that was growing on the property line between our yards. It got INSANE!!!!
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Something is JUST NOT RIGHT with this N!!!! :P
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4qjzcn/unnormal_and_the_time_she_starved_the_baby/?
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4qm7bc/unnormal_doesnt_know_how_allergies_work_or_are/
It's as if she is trying to KILL this helpless infant!!!!! WTF?!?!?!?!?
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I was reading the following in response to an N who attempted to snatch a baby away from its mother:
"The last birthday I had with my mother present, I was midway through reading the card from my best friend when Momma T reached across the table to try and snatch it out of my hands while saying, "I wanna read it!!!"
I jerked it from her grasp and stared at her. She put her hands in her lap and said, "Sorry, I need to learn to wait my turn."
No, bitch. You need to learn to keep your hands off shit that isn't yours.
Needless to say, it's a good thing I'm NC and childless because if anyone snatched my baby out of my hands I would probably slap them... Even if they were holding said baby."
Ns seem to think they can grab and snatch whatever they want whenever they want it. That one sentence: "No, bitch. You need to learn to keep your hands off shit that isn't yours" really leaped out at me because of what NDoofus did that was the final nail in the coffin! I was holding my mortarboard in my hands and she started dithering about shoving my mortarboard inside a magazine. (WTF?!?!? WHY?!?!? It's NOT yours!) I told her to leave it alone. She grabs a magazine from the holder on the seat in front of us and then tries to YANK my mortarboard out of my hands! I yelled at her to LEAVE IT! I wish I had thought to add: "You need to learn to keep your hands off of ANYTHING that does NOT belong to you!" I could see the cold rage in her eyes because I DARED TO SAY NO to THE QUEEN OF THE UNIVERSE! I went VLC right after that and then went NC. She kept trying to blow up my phone and my e-mail whinging that she "can't understand why I won't talk to her anymore." Her husband tried to be one of her flying monkeys once but never tried again.
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The best story I have of an NMother/babies - a friend who was in the hospital on a fetal heart monitor. I was there with her waiting for her husband to get to the hospital from his job across town (and awful traffic). As we waited, her Mother arrived and one of the nurses noticed that whenever the NMotehr was in the room, my friends heart rate and the babies jumped considerably. Nurse cleared all visitors out of the room into the hallway. As N Mother went to get coffee, Nurse asked me about the Mother. I told her - they dont get along and she causes anxiety. Nurse went back to my friend and had a conversation, I dont know what was said. Anyway, NMother returned and insisted on seeing her daughter. Nurse told her, Mom needs rest time and she would have to wait outside. Nurse, then the Doctor told Mom she had to wait outside a second and third time. Eventually N Mother protested again, barged in and was asked to leave. When she did not listen to Dr and Nurse repeated orders, Dr called security and had her tossed out of the maternity ward. Results on a baby monitor don't lie and posed a risk to mom and baby. Proof of the internal harm they do, even when we try to be calm with them.
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4qn634/madame_buttercry_kidnaps_our_infant/
The baby's mother ripped her husband/baby's father a new one and he DESERVED IT!!! He even admitted it!!!
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The best story I have of an NMother/babies - a friend who was in the hospital on a fetal heart monitor. I was there with her waiting for her husband to get to the hospital from his job across town (and awful traffic). As we waited, her Mother arrived and one of the nurses noticed that whenever the NMotehr was in the room, my friends heart rate and the babies jumped considerably. Nurse cleared all visitors out of the room into the hallway. As N Mother went to get coffee, Nurse asked me about the Mother. I told her - they dont get along and she causes anxiety. Nurse went back to my friend and had a conversation, I dont know what was said. Anyway, NMother returned and insisted on seeing her daughter. Nurse told her, Mom needs rest time and she would have to wait outside. Nurse, then the Doctor told Mom she had to wait outside a second and third time. Eventually N Mother protested again, barged in and was asked to leave. When she did not listen to Dr and Nurse repeated orders, Dr called security and had her tossed out of the maternity ward. Results on a baby monitor don't lie and posed a risk to mom and baby. Proof of the internal harm they do, even when we try to be calm with them.
Wow!!!
I'm glad that doctor put his foot down and called security!!! YAY!!! :D
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Something is JUST NOT RIGHT with this N!!!! :P
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4qjzcn/unnormal_and_the_time_she_starved_the_baby/?
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4qm7bc/unnormal_doesnt_know_how_allergies_work_or_are/
It's as if she is trying to KILL this helpless infant!!!!! WTF?!?!?!?!?
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4qnjoj/cleanliness_is_next_to_godliness_and_unnormal_is/
And she did it AGAIN!!!! WTF is WRONG with this N?!?!?!?!?!?
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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https://www.creators.com/read/annies-mailbox/07/16/suffering-for-the-rings
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https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie
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Something is JUST NOT RIGHT with this N!!!! :P
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4qjzcn/unnormal_and_the_time_she_starved_the_baby/?
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4qm7bc/unnormal_doesnt_know_how_allergies_work_or_are/
It's as if she is trying to KILL this helpless infant!!!!! WTF?!?!?!?!?
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4qnjoj/cleanliness_is_next_to_godliness_and_unnormal_is/
And she did it AGAIN!!!! WTF is WRONG with this N?!?!?!?!?!?
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4qr9g7/joy_unluck_club_how_unnormal_would_rather_kill/
This N is DEFINITELY...CERTIFIABLY....BAT$HIT!!!!
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Something is JUST NOT RIGHT with this N!!!! :P
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4qjzcn/unnormal_and_the_time_she_starved_the_baby/?
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4qm7bc/unnormal_doesnt_know_how_allergies_work_or_are/
It's as if she is trying to KILL this helpless infant!!!!! WTF?!?!?!?!?
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4qnjoj/cleanliness_is_next_to_godliness_and_unnormal_is/
And she did it AGAIN!!!! WTF is WRONG with this N?!?!?!?!?!?
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4qr9g7/joy_unluck_club_how_unnormal_would_rather_kill/
This N is DEFINITELY...CERTIFIABLY....BAT$HIT!!!!
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4qtq7y/joy_unluck_club_2_electric_boohoo/
And it gets better...and more to come!!!!
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:|
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What part of the word "NO!" did this N NOT UNDERSTAND?!?!?!?!? :x
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4qzkrw/dont_fucking_touch_that_mil/
She just lost ALL babysitting AND visiting privileges PERMANENTLY!!!!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4657fy/baby_angel_why_dont_you_come_show_grandma_what/?
Be careful what you wish for!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4r4mqt/no_house_for_you_succubusjezebel_what_happened/
I LOVE it when Karma gets an N!!!!! YEAH!!!! :D
-
https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie
:?
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4r51jk/yet_another_linda_stops_by/
The last sentence made me laugh!!!!
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4r7ilk/anyone_else_had_some_petty_revenge/
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
This had me ON THE FLOOR!!!!!!!!!!
-
Something is JUST NOT RIGHT with this N!!!! :P
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4qjzcn/unnormal_and_the_time_she_starved_the_baby/?
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4qm7bc/unnormal_doesnt_know_how_allergies_work_or_are/
It's as if she is trying to KILL this helpless infant!!!!! WTF?!?!?!?!?
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4qnjoj/cleanliness_is_next_to_godliness_and_unnormal_is/
And she did it AGAIN!!!! WTF is WRONG with this N?!?!?!?!?!?
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4qr9g7/joy_unluck_club_how_unnormal_would_rather_kill/
This N is DEFINITELY...CERTIFIABLY....BAT$HIT!!!!
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4qtq7y/joy_unluck_club_2_electric_boohoo/
And it gets better...and more to come!!!!
The final chapter about UnNormal:
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4r8jjf/let_freedom_ring_unnormals_last_ditch_efforts_to/
I feel sorry for anyone with an N like THAT in the family!!!!
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
-
https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence.html
-
This may have triggers for everyone here:
http://thoughtcatalog.com/shahida-arabi/2016/06/20-diversion-tactics-highly-manipulative-narcissists-sociopaths-and-psychopaths-use-to-silence-you/
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This may have triggers for everyone here:
http://thoughtcatalog.com/shahida-arabi/2016/06/20-diversion-tactics-highly-manipulative-narcissists-sociopaths-and-psychopaths-use-to-silence-you/
Argh this is my mum to a T! Number 3 was a great example; I can remember my mum having a row about a song that was on the telly. It was a cover version and I commented that I preferred the original. Essentially my mum's opinion was that, as I wasn't born when the original was released, I had no right to like it and would have to be content with 'my generation's' cover version! To this day it remains one of the craziest conversations I've ever had and in the end I just left the room.
-
This may have triggers for everyone here:
http://thoughtcatalog.com/shahida-arabi/2016/06/20-diversion-tactics-highly-manipulative-narcissists-sociopaths-and-psychopaths-use-to-silence-you/
Argh this is my mum to a T! Number 3 was a great example; I can remember my mum having a row about a song that was on the telly. It was a cover version and I commented that I preferred the original. Essentially my mum's opinion was that, as I wasn't born when the original was released, I had no right to like it and would have to be content with 'my generation's' cover version! To this day it remains one of the craziest conversations I've ever had and in the end I just left the room.
OMG, yes!! These N's be CRAY-CRAY!!!!!!!
-
Absolute :shock:
.....Just kidding!
I know all these tactics very well. Thanks for sharing it!
-
Absolute :shock:
.....Just kidding!
I know all these tactics very well. Thanks for sharing it!
You're welcome!
-
:|
-
https://www.creators.com/read/at-work-lindsey-novak
-
Trying to post something different and the board started going into yo-yo mode!
-
Feeling awkward about a Comedy of Errors..................... :shock:
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:|
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http://hyattsvilletoday.com/magruder-park-now-home-to-memorial-honoring-jim-hensons-legacy/
I think this is SO COOL!!!! 8)
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4s78g2/mil_in_the_wild_going_away_party/
NOOOO!!!! Just NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YiK1FtrU70I
The mini spinner in action. I don't have any orifice reducers yet. I need to save up for a set.
-
People are funny!!! I find a pretty frog outside and pick it up to carry it to a safer place so the cats don't get it and my neighbor, who's a guy, is afraid to touch it!!!! LOL!!!! I remember when I was a kid, I would find frogs, toads, worms, snakes, white mice, and bring them inside to show NWomb-Donor and she would FREAK.EVERY.SINGLE.TIME! I kept being told that girls are NOT supposed to like those kinds of critters and I would always ask why. My Dad taught me well!
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
-
https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence.html
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4s78g2/mil_in_the_wild_going_away_party/
NOOOO!!!! Just NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
When my sister mentioned that she and her partner were thinking of moving 200 miles to be nearer to his family (who are happy to help out with the kids and are normal and don't drive everyone mad!) my mum approached my sister's ex husband and offered to pay his legal expenses so that he could go for custody of the kids and keep them living nearby; she also offered to stand up in court and tell a judge my sister is an unfit mother (which she isn't). She did this in front of the two older children (who were old enough to understand what was going on and who both wanted to move away) and also worked on them, telling them that it would be awful, they wouldn't have any friends, their mum wouldn't bother with them because of the new baby. It didn't work because he didn't want custody of the kids and it suits him to just see them every other weekend so she called social services and told them that my sister was always drunk and neglected the kids (I think projection is what psychologists call that!). Some of the things you hear about are funny in a mad and crazy way but others are really scary.
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4s78g2/mil_in_the_wild_going_away_party/
NOOOO!!!! Just NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
When my sister mentioned that she and her partner were thinking of moving 200 miles to be nearer to his family (who are happy to help out with the kids and are normal and don't drive everyone mad!) my mum approached my sister's ex husband and offered to pay his legal expenses so that he could go for custody of the kids and keep them living nearby; she also offered to stand up in court and tell a judge my sister is an unfit mother (which she isn't). She did this in front of the two older children (who were old enough to understand what was going on and who both wanted to move away) and also worked on them, telling them that it would be awful, they wouldn't have any friends, their mum wouldn't bother with them because of the new baby. It didn't work because he didn't want custody of the kids and it suits him to just see them every other weekend so she called social services and told them that my sister was always drunk and neglected the kids (I think projection is what psychologists call that!). Some of the things you hear about are funny in a mad and crazy way but others are really scary.
AAARRRGGGHHHH!!!! I have a few choice curse words for that !@#$% to attempt to pull that kind of !@#$%!!!!!!!!!
-
Hi Bones.
-
Hi Bones.
Morning.
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:|
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4sokoa/bec_monents_robin_hooch_edition/
OMG, does THIS sound FAMILIAR!!!!!!!!
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2016/07/dear_prudence_my_son_eloped_and_i_m_stuck_planning_his_wedding.html
That first letter sounds like a "Mother-in-law In The Wild"!!! If she is THAT CONTROLLING, then it's no wonder her son eloped!!! God only knows how much she kept trying to RAM HER CONTROL DOWN THEIR THROATS until the couple finally said: "ENOUGH!!!!!!"
Looks like I was not the only one who thought this:
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4stifz/i_love_a_charadedear_prudence_shuts_down_a_jnm_in/
-
https://www.creators.com/read/at-work-lindsey-novak
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4su4cb/prepping_for_vacation_and_a_call_from_helen/
What part of the word "NO" does she NOT understand?!?!?!?!?
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4s78g2/mil_in_the_wild_going_away_party/
NOOOO!!!! Just NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
When my sister mentioned that she and her partner were thinking of moving 200 miles to be nearer to his family (who are happy to help out with the kids and are normal and don't drive everyone mad!) my mum approached my sister's ex husband and offered to pay his legal expenses so that he could go for custody of the kids and keep them living nearby; she also offered to stand up in court and tell a judge my sister is an unfit mother (which she isn't). She did this in front of the two older children (who were old enough to understand what was going on and who both wanted to move away) and also worked on them, telling them that it would be awful, they wouldn't have any friends, their mum wouldn't bother with them because of the new baby. It didn't work because he didn't want custody of the kids and it suits him to just see them every other weekend so she called social services and told them that my sister was always drunk and neglected the kids (I think projection is what psychologists call that!). Some of the things you hear about are funny in a mad and crazy way but others are really scary.
AAARRRGGGHHHH!!!! I have a few choice curse words for that !@#$% to attempt to pull that kind of !@#$%!!!!!!!!!
Lol, you have the best curse words, Bonesie ;) xx
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4s78g2/mil_in_the_wild_going_away_party/
NOOOO!!!! Just NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
When my sister mentioned that she and her partner were thinking of moving 200 miles to be nearer to his family (who are happy to help out with the kids and are normal and don't drive everyone mad!) my mum approached my sister's ex husband and offered to pay his legal expenses so that he could go for custody of the kids and keep them living nearby; she also offered to stand up in court and tell a judge my sister is an unfit mother (which she isn't). She did this in front of the two older children (who were old enough to understand what was going on and who both wanted to move away) and also worked on them, telling them that it would be awful, they wouldn't have any friends, their mum wouldn't bother with them because of the new baby. It didn't work because he didn't want custody of the kids and it suits him to just see them every other weekend so she called social services and told them that my sister was always drunk and neglected the kids (I think projection is what psychologists call that!). Some of the things you hear about are funny in a mad and crazy way but others are really scary.
AAARRRGGGHHHH!!!! I have a few choice curse words for that !@#$% to attempt to pull that kind of !@#$%!!!!!!!!!
Lol, you have the best curse words, Bonesie ;) xx
LOL!!!!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4svewk/what_happened_that_made_us_finally_go_nc_tis_a/
I am SO GLAD that this hospice nurse saw right through that N!!!!!! WOW!!!!
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
-
https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie
This new advice columnist, who took over from the two who retired, is NO BETTER!!! Someone just had their mail STOLEN and the advice the columnist gives is "just make friends"?!?!?!? WTF?!?!?!?!? MAIL THIEVES DON'T GIVE A F**K!!!! I know!!! I've had my mail stolen!!!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4t0lkm/introducing_banshee_the_need_for_nc/
And I thought that NWomb-Donor was BAT$H!T!!!!! :shock:
And.....for some reason....the story got deleted.
-
Some days I feel like screaming in frustration!!!! :x
I've been dealing with medical bills, while on a fixed income, since I got hit with a combination of Shingles and kidney stone in 2015, the two lithotripsies, dealing with specialists. etc., etc., etc. The pension can only stretch so far and no further! I have REQUIRED living expenses in order to keep a roof over my head, food on the table, clothes on my back, paying utilities for electricity, natural gas, insurance, telephone, and trying to pay the hospital. (Yeah, the hospital wants their money!!!!)
Today I get a notification about an upcoming Spin-along in September. (YAY!!! I like to keep practicing my spinning skills.) I have some fiber in my stash that I can practice with. Then I read more details about this particular Spin-along and this particular activity REQUIRES spinning 100% silk! (Number One, I have NEVER tried to spin silk before and Number Two, because of my current financial situation, buying 100% silk for spinning is just NOT in my budget now.) I express my regrets when I receive a response from someone, who I've met in person, and had explained more than once about my current circumstances. She goes ahead and tells me that buying silk to spin is "not that expensive" and go find it at Etsy.
THIS....AFTER...I...HAD...EXPLAINED....MY....CIRCUMSTANCES....FACE....TO...FACE....WITH....THIS.....INDIVIDUAL!!!!!
*HEAD-ON-DESK!*
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4t2e8h/mil_and_the_cognac/
MIL demanded WHAT?!?!?!?!? :shock:
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4t2mjq/merry_hates_my_gift_for_dh_and_our_sonarranges/
This NMIL could end up being sued on Judge Judy if she doesn't cut the crap!!!! Judge Judy would wipe the floor with this BAT$H!T @#$%!!
BAT$H!T NMIL tried to claim that "HER son" doesn't like this gift because "SHE KNOWS HER SON!" (Translation: *I* do NOT like this gift given to MY property so *I'M* going to find a way to DESTROY IT!!!) I just LOVE the way the Karma goddess got her!!!! If she tries to make good on her threat, she will be in LEGAL DEEP $H!T!!!!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4t3ah2/freespirit_returns_attack_of_the_patchouli/
W.............T...............F?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? :shock:
OH.................HELL.....................TO.......................THE.....................NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Either this NMIL is a DUMBA$$ or she was hoping to find a way to force what SHE wants!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4m7246/cuntnado_uses_doctors_to_do_her_dirty_deeds/?
This triggers another memory of when my godson was born.
As I previously mentioned, my godson was born in the middle of the Big Blizzard. We managed to get to a nearby hospital just in time. If my BFF had birthed at home, it would have been a nightmare circus with laxative-fixated paternal grandmother, (baby's great-grandmother), getting in the way! (She was a trip all by herself!) Later on, I was interpreting a phone call between the new parents and my godson's then-pediatrician. (A new pediatrician took over later, which is another story in itself.) As the discussion concerning whether or not to circumcise was going on, the new paternal grandmother strides into the room as if she owns the place! (She was still in street clothes while the new daddy and I were still in surgical scrubs and the new mother was in her hospital gown nursing her newborn! What this grandmother was thinking, I wish I knew!) For a few minutes, the new grandmother listens silently as the telephone conversation is going on. The moment the new parents decide to wait on the circumcision until it's medically necessary, based on the pediatrician's advice to wait, the new grandmother starts SCREAMING!!!! "YOUR BABY IS GOING TO HATE YOU!!!!" (WTF?!?!? WT FLYING F?!?!?) The pediatrician asked me: "Who in the HELL is THAT?!?!?" I informed him that it's the baby's grandmother. The pediatrician, rightly informed this dingbat, (through me, given that this is being done via telephone), that this decision belongs STRICTLY to the parents and the grandmother needs to BUTT OUT!!! She continues to scream that the new parents are DEAF and the GRANDMOTHER needs to take charge! (OH HELL TO THE NO!!!! Those are FIGHTING words!) The new grandmother attempts to order the pediatrician to ignore the new parents, because they are DEAF, and that the pediatrician needs to OBEY the grandmother instead! The doctor told her to back off again and that he does not permit grandparents to interfere! (YAY, DOC!) She continues to scream, "WELL, I AM GOING TO FIND A PEDIATRICIAN WHO WILL DO WHAT I WANT!!!" That's when the pediatrician, me, and the new parents informed her in no uncertain terms that if she tries THAT, she will experience legal consequences that she will NOT like! When she realized she was outnumbered, she shut her trap about circumcision.
Looks like there are other NMILs who think this way:
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4t31xu/15_year_fmil_veteran_too/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4lc7og/fmil_has_psychotic_break_when_my_fianc%C3%A9_and_i/?
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :shock:
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4t40t3/when_your_mom_is_the_mil_happy_ending/
What is it with these N's?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? :?
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4t4f5u/mil_in_the_wild_will_power_alone_can_change_the/
More BAT$H!T INSANITY!!!!!! :shock:
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4t71h2/what_to_do_when_youre_low_on_the_totem_pole/
Low on the Totem Pole = Scapegoat!
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4t781w/17_years_of_a_jnmil/
I love, just LOVE the attitude of this Daughter-in-Law!!! She's got this!!!! :D
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4t8qnm/queenofguilttrips_upset_because_im_moving_across/
I'm reading the guilt trips that this NMIL is attempting to ram down their throats and I'm thinking of the following translation: "*I* am the QUEEN OF THE UNIVERSE!!! The UNIVERSE REVOLVES AROUND MEEEEEEE!!!!! You are MY PROPERTY!!!! You WILL OBEY MEEEEEE!!!!! *I* OWN YOU!!!!! How DARE you DEFY THE QUEEN OF THE UNIVERSE!!!!!"
Sound familiar?
-
https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4szquu/update_to_the_update_about_mandy/
If this N attempts to follow through with her threats, she just might discover how ANGRY a judge can get when the judge realizes that the courts are also being abused by her!! I've watched some judges rip a plaintiff a new one for abusing the court system for their own self-centered power-plays and it was NOT pretty!!!!!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4ktbzp/guys_i_just_remembered_a_hilarious_moment_from/?
This CRACKED ME UP!!!! :lol:
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4taa7m/judgy_joanne_and_the_wedding_that_she_did_not_ruin/
This also gave me the giggles!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4tahyh/welcome_to_australia_dildobreath/
Lesson Number One....NEVER....MESS....WITH...AN...AUSSIE!!!!! You WILL LOSE!!!!!!!
This N learned THAT lesson the hard way!!!!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4tcgq7/i_feel_some_vindication/
This smells like Karma (pun intended).
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4teepj/she_can_barely_walk_trelawney/
This sounds like a variation from an idiotic able-ist: "Why can't you just suck it up and do what *I* want?!?!?"
Karma is gonna get that B!TCH!!!!
-
https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie
This rang a bell, Bonesie, and I love the Oprah Winfrey quote, how true, "everyone wants to ride with you in a limo but what you need are friends who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down". So many people have gone from my life when things have become difficult for us but boy, does it make you appreciate the ones who stick around all the more :) xx
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https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie
This rang a bell, Bonesie, and I love the Oprah Winfrey quote, how true, "everyone wants to ride with you in a limo but what you need are friends who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down". So many people have gone from my life when things have become difficult for us but boy, does it make you appreciate the ones who stick around all the more :) xx
Amen to that!
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence.html
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4th6um/mil_and_communal_property/
NMIL stole WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? :shock:
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4thmy8/fmil_threatens_her_own_life_because_shes_losing/
When I was reading about the N screaming: "How can you do this to MEEEEE?!?! How can you leave MEEEEE?!?!?" That was virtually identical to the crap that N Womb-Donor threw at NGCBrother the day he left home!
GEEZ!!!!!!! :? :P
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4thvr6/squish_is_here_tune_in_for_hospital_drama/
This N deserved a punch in the chops for attempting to baby-snatch!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4t2mjq/merry_hates_my_gift_for_dh_and_our_sonarranges/
This NMIL could end up being sued on Judge Judy if she doesn't cut the crap!!!! Judge Judy would wipe the floor with this BAT$H!T @#$%!!
BAT$H!T NMIL tried to claim that "HER son" doesn't like this gift because "SHE KNOWS HER SON!" (Translation: *I* do NOT like this gift given to MY property so *I'M* going to find a way to DESTROY IT!!!) I just LOVE the way the Karma goddess got her!!!! If she tries to make good on her threat, she will be in LEGAL DEEP $H!T!!!!
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4tiks7/my_awakening_to_merry_mama_bear_does_not_play/
The N went too far and now she gets CONSEQUENCES!!!!!!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4tjgxo/postwedding_insanity_from_judgy_joanne/
W.................T..................F................?!?!?!?!?!?! :shock:
This N wants to CRASH AND INVADE HER CHILD'S HONEYMOON?!?!?!?!?!?!?
OH.....................HELL.........................TO.....................THE......................NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :P
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4tjx7l/the_worst_day_of_the_year_aka_pennys_mothers_day/
I like her attitude regarding the N!
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence.html
-
https://www.powerofpositivity.com/things-say-to-manipulator/
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This had me HOWLING!!!!!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4tur9k/urdont_made_off_with_my_stool_sample/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4tv5o9/my_apologies_to_the_fine_people_of_the_dallasft/
The comments below this posting made me chuckle this morning.
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4o0xuj/passive_aggy_and_presents_part_1/
ARRRGGHHH!!!! This triggered a memory from years ago! No matter how hard I TRIED to find a nice gift, I would ALWAYS get screamed and cursed at while being called the R-Word! Never mind the fact that I asked, NUMEROUS TIMES, what they would like for thus-and-such gift occasion. Their behaviors would equate to: "Read my mind and guess what I want!", then being shat on because I "guessed wrong"! At the end, they finally started wondering WHY I stopped giving them any gifts altogether. By then, my attitude toward all of them was: "F**K OFF!!! I am NOT wasting my time, energy, and money if the only result is going to be additional abuse aimed at the Family Scapegoat! F**K THAT $H!T!!!! I'm DONE!!!!"
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4twpoq/succubusjezebel_in_town/
This N got OUTSMARTED by a 16-year-old and two 12-year-olds!!! :lol: YAY!!!! GO KIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol:
-
https://www.creators.com/read/at-work-lindsey-novak
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4tzssg/you_know_its_not_too_late_to_call_off_the_wedding/
What is WRONG with this N?!?!?!?!?!?! :shock: :?
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4u16j3/post_wedding_insanity_with_judgy_joanne_an_update/
This N is demanding WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?! :shock:
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4u1rdy/mine_assumes_our_place_is_her_place_and_our_kid/
This N is BAT$H!T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4u21x9/large_marges_gift_comes_back_to_haunt_us/
This N did WHAT?!?!?!?!? WTH?!?!?!?!?!? :shock: :shock:
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4u15a6/introducing_saddleback_susie_fmil_is_obviously/
What an N @#$%%!!!!!! :P
-
https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4u456o/gropecunts_meltdown_over_dhs_accident_and_us/
If this N MELTDOWN was on video, the N would be embarrassed as HELL!!! On second thought, maybe she wouldn't be embarrassed at all given that she is an N!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4u45vq/ok_i_need_some_responses_to_a_repetitive_mil/
I can think of two words to say to the NMIL ..... "F**K OFF!!!!"
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4u8sz2/slagathas_parenting_highlights/
WTF?!?!?!?! This is Narcissism at its MOST TOXIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :shock:
BTW, this N was the one who caught some well-deserved justice when her daughter-in-law opened a can of WHOOPA$$ all over her!!!!
Reading about how Slagatha denied her son the basics of care reminded me of a case when I was working at a residential school for the Deaf. This one kid was literally dumped on the school's doorstep, late at night, with NOTHING but the clothes on his back by the egg-donor who didn't want to be bothered. No matter how many times we, at the school, tried to contact her to arrange to get him shoes, a winter coat, soap, toothbrush, toothpaste, getting the necessary forms signed so he could see the medical staff in the Infirmary, ANYTHING that any minor child needs, she blew us off! What pissed me off even more was that she was TAKING HIS SSI/SSDI money and spending that on HERSELF!!!! That child got NOTHING from her! We finally contacted Child Protective Services and showed them our documentation, they conducted an investigation which substantiated our evidence, and her parental rights were terminated. His SSI/SSDI money was then transferred to the residential school and one of the teachers became his legal guardian. He's okay now and has become a teacher himself.
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4u9158/janice_dropped_in_with_no_warning_and_fh_drops/
The Flying Monkey Demands WHAT?!?!?!?!?!? OHHH...HELL....TO....THE....NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
-
:|
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4ucu1w/update_mil_demands_again_to_see_my_children/
You can identify an N by the way they behave towards the word: "NO!"
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4ucv6h/the_crazy_maker_and_the_special_package/
This N definitely smoked away a few brain cells!!! :shock:
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4ucwmr/my_future_mother_in_law_just_sent_me_a_photo_of/
WTF?!?!?!?!? :shock:
This N sounds like she wants to be the bride at EVERY wedding and the corpse at EVERY funeral!!!!!
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4u8sz2/slagathas_parenting_highlights/
WTF?!?!?!?! This is Narcissism at its MOST TOXIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :shock:
BTW, this N was the one who caught some well-deserved justice when her daughter-in-law opened a can of WHOOPA$$ all over her!!!!
Reading about how Slagatha denied her son the basics of care reminded me of a case when I was working at a residential school for the Deaf. This one kid was literally dumped on the school's doorstep, late at night, with NOTHING but the clothes on his back by the egg-donor who didn't want to be bothered. No matter how many times we, at the school, tried to contact her to arrange to get him shoes, a winter coat, soap, toothbrush, toothpaste, getting the necessary forms signed so he could see the medical staff in the Infirmary, ANYTHING that any minor child needs, she blew us off! What pissed me off even more was that she was TAKING HIS SSI/SSDI money and spending that on HERSELF!!!! That child got NOTHING from her! We finally contacted Child Protective Services and showed them our documentation, they conducted an investigation which substantiated our evidence, and her parental rights were terminated. His SSI/SSDI money was then transferred to the residential school and one of the teachers became his legal guardian. He's okay now and has become a teacher himself.
Wowsers, Bones. You're an Amazon of the first order, you are: )
Well done. It couldn't have been easy, and I'm impressed you guys worked on this till the right outcome was achieved.
Lighter
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4u8sz2/slagathas_parenting_highlights/
WTF?!?!?!?! This is Narcissism at its MOST TOXIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :shock:
BTW, this N was the one who caught some well-deserved justice when her daughter-in-law opened a can of WHOOPA$$ all over her!!!!
Reading about how Slagatha denied her son the basics of care reminded me of a case when I was working at a residential school for the Deaf. This one kid was literally dumped on the school's doorstep, late at night, with NOTHING but the clothes on his back by the egg-donor who didn't want to be bothered. No matter how many times we, at the school, tried to contact her to arrange to get him shoes, a winter coat, soap, toothbrush, toothpaste, getting the necessary forms signed so he could see the medical staff in the Infirmary, ANYTHING that any minor child needs, she blew us off! What pissed me off even more was that she was TAKING HIS SSI/SSDI money and spending that on HERSELF!!!! That child got NOTHING from her! We finally contacted Child Protective Services and showed them our documentation, they conducted an investigation which substantiated our evidence, and her parental rights were terminated. His SSI/SSDI money was then transferred to the residential school and one of the teachers became his legal guardian. He's okay now and has become a teacher himself.
Wowsers, Bones. You're an Amazon of the first order, you are: )
Well done. It couldn't have been easy, and I'm impressed you guys worked on this till the right outcome was achieved.
Lighter
Thanks, it took a lot of work and coordinating different departments to work with CPS from the kid's home state. The bureaucracy can be mind-boggling.
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The bureaucracy can be mind boggling.... that's why it's so heroic you guys stood up and did the right thing.
So many people do nothing, bc it's the easier, IME.
Lighter
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The bureaucracy can be mind boggling.... that's why it's so heroic you guys stood up and did the right thing.
So many people do nothing, bc it's the easier, IME.
Lighter
As a school staff person, it's also the law and we were mandated to report child neglect/abuse.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence.html
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4ukd7n/miliminator_the_mountain_also_has_a_justnomil/
This CRACKED me up!!!!! :lol:
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https://www.creators.com/read/at-work-lindsey-novak
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:|
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:|
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:|
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Feeling a bit crabby this morning.
This past Saturday was the two-year anniversary of the loss of my Brother From Another Mother. I shared a story on my social media wall about how we met and adopted each other as Family of Choice because we both came from dysfunctional abusive families. (It's hard to believe it's been 24 years in August that we became Family of Choice.) I shared that memory because it was special.....and then my Special Brother's former "manager" just had to post her "comment" about how much she KNEW EVERYTHING and she was "so glad" we met and blah-blah-blah!!!!
B!TCH!!!! PLEASE!!!!! You were NOT even in the picture 24 years ago! You were NOT even there so your "comments" have NO weight!!! (She's already been told off by my Special Brother's widow shortly after he died and it got ugly! The "manager" was trying to act like the wife/grieving widow which was WAY inappropriate when doing that in the face of the ACTUAL WIDOW!!!!) I'm convinced that this "manager" is an N and trying to use his name for her own self-aggrandizement! SHEESH!!!!
:x :evil:
-
Can't sleep.
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4vv4la/gropecunts_fourth_of_july_drama/
I LOVE it when an N gets their comeuppance!!!! Oh YEAH!!!!!!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4vyx8f/sunscreen_will_give_you_cancer/
If I had a child and THIS was done to my kid, I would be pounding that B!@#$ INTO THE GROUND!!!!!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4vzl61/mil_in_the_wild_lets_give_the_toddler_beer_edition/
She DELIBERATELY gives a baby a beer then tries to play THE VICTIM?!?!?!? That B is lucky she left the house in one piece!!!!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4vzuse/mil_in_the_wild_atheist_colonoscopy_edition/
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:D
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https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
-
https://www.creators.com/read/at-work-lindsey-novak
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence.html
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4w6sw0/well_that_just_happened_momma_t_has_violated/
Karma!
-
Internet access is in yo-yo mode.
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4wbm9f/mil_in_the_wild_just_give_her_the_damn_game/
Gotta love the comedy in real life! :lol:
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4w6sw0/well_that_just_happened_momma_t_has_violated/
Karma!
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4wbmmu/update_to_yesterdays_momma_t_story/
This is what happens when anyone violates HIPAA!!!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4w6sw0/well_that_just_happened_momma_t_has_violated/
Karma!
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4wbmmu/update_to_yesterdays_momma_t_story/
This is what happens when anyone violates HIPAA!!!
I remember that when I was working at a substance abuse treatment facility and, later, at a homeless shelter, I had HIPAA drilled into me. Because of HIPAA, I was explicitly forbidden to work with any clients that were either related to me or I knew previously. There was also the ethical issue of dual roles.
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4wd8vy/that_time_she_almost_killed_my_kid_with_peanuts/
They did WHAT?!?!?!?!?! :shock:
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4wdfjg/im_finally_going_to_name_her_rumplyforeskin/
I can't wrap my brain around this kind of NEGLECT!!!!!! :?
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4wffbw/mil_in_the_wild_only_married_parents_are_good/
I'm glad this N got SHUT DOWN!!!! :D
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Can't sleep.
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4wd8vy/that_time_she_almost_killed_my_kid_with_peanuts/
They did WHAT?!?!?!?!?! :shock:
Someone I know did this to their grandchild! The mum and daughter (it's the daughter who told me this) were visiting the son and his wife, toddler and five year old. Son's wife has a nut allergy and so does the toddler. Granny thinks this is attention seeking nonsense and in order to prove it, gives toddler peanut butter on toast while son and wife are getting ready for work. The little one starts to react and all Granny is saying to the daughter is "Don't tell them I gave him that, don't say anything" but of course daughter does. Toddler was okay fortunately but how scary to all have to rush off to the hospital and of course they wouldn't leave the older child with Granny because she'd just shown there was no way she could be trusted with a child! It's very frightening when someone's sense of 'being right' puts people in danger.
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4wd8vy/that_time_she_almost_killed_my_kid_with_peanuts/
They did WHAT?!?!?!?!?! :shock:
Someone I know did this to their grandchild! The mum and daughter (it's the daughter who told me this) were visiting the son and his wife, toddler and five year old. Son's wife has a nut allergy and so does the toddler. Granny thinks this is attention seeking nonsense and in order to prove it, gives toddler peanut butter on toast while son and wife are getting ready for work. The little one starts to react and all Granny is saying to the daughter is "Don't tell them I gave him that, don't say anything" but of course daughter does. Toddler was okay fortunately but how scary to all have to rush off to the hospital and of course they wouldn't leave the older child with Granny because she'd just shown there was no way she could be trusted with a child! It's very frightening when someone's sense of 'being right' puts people in danger.
:shock: :x
$H!T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If I had been that child's mother, I would have punched that B*TCH in the throat for DELIBERATELY ENDANGERING MY CHILD!!!!! I wouldn't blame the toddler's parents if they went NC! Babysitting rights/visitation has been PERMANENTLY REVOKED!
I got into an argument with someone on Ravelry because she took the attitude that allergies don't exist and that it's only for getting attention. (Translation: If someone else is getting attention, then no one is worshipping HER!) When several people started ripping her a new one because of her attitude, she left the forum. What IS IT with these IDIOTS who don't hesitate to try to KILL someone because they think they are "large and in charge"?!?!?!?!? DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-
https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
-
:|
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence.html
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4wd8vy/that_time_she_almost_killed_my_kid_with_peanuts/
They did WHAT?!?!?!?!?! :shock:
Someone I know did this to their grandchild! The mum and daughter (it's the daughter who told me this) were visiting the son and his wife, toddler and five year old. Son's wife has a nut allergy and so does the toddler. Granny thinks this is attention seeking nonsense and in order to prove it, gives toddler peanut butter on toast while son and wife are getting ready for work. The little one starts to react and all Granny is saying to the daughter is "Don't tell them I gave him that, don't say anything" but of course daughter does. Toddler was okay fortunately but how scary to all have to rush off to the hospital and of course they wouldn't leave the older child with Granny because she'd just shown there was no way she could be trusted with a child! It's very frightening when someone's sense of 'being right' puts people in danger.
:shock: :x
$H!T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If I had been that child's mother, I would have punched that B*TCH in the throat for DELIBERATELY ENDANGERING MY CHILD!!!!! I wouldn't blame the toddler's parents if they went NC! Babysitting rights/visitation has been PERMANENTLY REVOKED!
I got into an argument with someone on Ravelry because she took the attitude that allergies don't exist and that it's only for getting attention. (Translation: If someone else is getting attention, then no one is worshipping HER!) When several people started ripping her a new one because of her attitude, she left the forum. What IS IT with these IDIOTS who don't hesitate to try to KILL someone because they think they are "large and in charge"?!?!?!?!? DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know, it's bad, isn't it? People often minimise health problems in others, I hadn't thought it might be because they attention isn't on them? That would make a lot of sense.
In the case I mentioned both her grown up children live overseas and I don't think there's been contact between the son and his mum since that time, it's quite terrifying when people are willing to do that much damage just to try and score a point?!
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4wd8vy/that_time_she_almost_killed_my_kid_with_peanuts/
They did WHAT?!?!?!?!?! :shock:
Someone I know did this to their grandchild! The mum and daughter (it's the daughter who told me this) were visiting the son and his wife, toddler and five year old. Son's wife has a nut allergy and so does the toddler. Granny thinks this is attention seeking nonsense and in order to prove it, gives toddler peanut butter on toast while son and wife are getting ready for work. The little one starts to react and all Granny is saying to the daughter is "Don't tell them I gave him that, don't say anything" but of course daughter does. Toddler was okay fortunately but how scary to all have to rush off to the hospital and of course they wouldn't leave the older child with Granny because she'd just shown there was no way she could be trusted with a child! It's very frightening when someone's sense of 'being right' puts people in danger.
:shock: :x
$H!T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If I had been that child's mother, I would have punched that B*TCH in the throat for DELIBERATELY ENDANGERING MY CHILD!!!!! I wouldn't blame the toddler's parents if they went NC! Babysitting rights/visitation has been PERMANENTLY REVOKED!
I got into an argument with someone on Ravelry because she took the attitude that allergies don't exist and that it's only for getting attention. (Translation: If someone else is getting attention, then no one is worshipping HER!) When several people started ripping her a new one because of her attitude, she left the forum. What IS IT with these IDIOTS who don't hesitate to try to KILL someone because they think they are "large and in charge"?!?!?!?!? DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know, it's bad, isn't it? People often minimise health problems in others, I hadn't thought it might be because they attention isn't on them? That would make a lot of sense.
In the case I mentioned both her grown up children live overseas and I don't think there's been contact between the son and his mum since that time, it's quite terrifying when people are willing to do that much damage just to try and score a point?!
I'm just having a hard time wrapping my brain around the fact that an adult would deliberately do this to a child!
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4wd8vy/that_time_she_almost_killed_my_kid_with_peanuts/
They did WHAT?!?!?!?!?! :shock:
Someone I know did this to their grandchild! The mum and daughter (it's the daughter who told me this) were visiting the son and his wife, toddler and five year old. Son's wife has a nut allergy and so does the toddler. Granny thinks this is attention seeking nonsense and in order to prove it, gives toddler peanut butter on toast while son and wife are getting ready for work. The little one starts to react and all Granny is saying to the daughter is "Don't tell them I gave him that, don't say anything" but of course daughter does. Toddler was okay fortunately but how scary to all have to rush off to the hospital and of course they wouldn't leave the older child with Granny because she'd just shown there was no way she could be trusted with a child! It's very frightening when someone's sense of 'being right' puts people in danger.
:shock: :x
$H!T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If I had been that child's mother, I would have punched that B*TCH in the throat for DELIBERATELY ENDANGERING MY CHILD!!!!! I wouldn't blame the toddler's parents if they went NC! Babysitting rights/visitation has been PERMANENTLY REVOKED!
I got into an argument with someone on Ravelry because she took the attitude that allergies don't exist and that it's only for getting attention. (Translation: If someone else is getting attention, then no one is worshipping HER!) When several people started ripping her a new one because of her attitude, she left the forum. What IS IT with these IDIOTS who don't hesitate to try to KILL someone because they think they are "large and in charge"?!?!?!?!? DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know, it's bad, isn't it? People often minimise health problems in others, I hadn't thought it might be because they attention isn't on them? That would make a lot of sense.
In the case I mentioned both her grown up children live overseas and I don't think there's been contact between the son and his mum since that time, it's quite terrifying when people are willing to do that much damage just to try and score a point?!
I'm just having a hard time wrapping my brain around the fact that an adult would deliberately do this to a child!
I think maybe in some people the need to be 'right' supersedes anything else (like someone else's right to be healthy!). It's not quite in the same vein, but when my son was little I tried him on a gluten and dairy free diet, as some children with autism respond well to this. It's quite hard work and tends to cost more; I tried it for six months and it didn't seem to have made any difference so I abandoned it. He was very young and my mum was looking after him for me three days a week at this point. When I told her I'd stopped the diet because I didn't think it had helped she said she knew it wouldn't so she'd carried on giving him Weetabix and milk when he was at her house anyway
:shock: As it's turned out over the years he's not allergic to gluten or dairy so it wouldn't have made any difference but it's just the principle of someone else making decisions about your child on your behalf and not thinking there's anything wrong with that!
Anyway, how are things with you, Bonesie? x
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4wd8vy/that_time_she_almost_killed_my_kid_with_peanuts/
They did WHAT?!?!?!?!?! :shock:
Someone I know did this to their grandchild! The mum and daughter (it's the daughter who told me this) were visiting the son and his wife, toddler and five year old. Son's wife has a nut allergy and so does the toddler. Granny thinks this is attention seeking nonsense and in order to prove it, gives toddler peanut butter on toast while son and wife are getting ready for work. The little one starts to react and all Granny is saying to the daughter is "Don't tell them I gave him that, don't say anything" but of course daughter does. Toddler was okay fortunately but how scary to all have to rush off to the hospital and of course they wouldn't leave the older child with Granny because she'd just shown there was no way she could be trusted with a child! It's very frightening when someone's sense of 'being right' puts people in danger.
:shock: :x
$H!T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If I had been that child's mother, I would have punched that B*TCH in the throat for DELIBERATELY ENDANGERING MY CHILD!!!!! I wouldn't blame the toddler's parents if they went NC! Babysitting rights/visitation has been PERMANENTLY REVOKED!
I got into an argument with someone on Ravelry because she took the attitude that allergies don't exist and that it's only for getting attention. (Translation: If someone else is getting attention, then no one is worshipping HER!) When several people started ripping her a new one because of her attitude, she left the forum. What IS IT with these IDIOTS who don't hesitate to try to KILL someone because they think they are "large and in charge"?!?!?!?!? DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know, it's bad, isn't it? People often minimise health problems in others, I hadn't thought it might be because they attention isn't on them? That would make a lot of sense.
In the case I mentioned both her grown up children live overseas and I don't think there's been contact between the son and his mum since that time, it's quite terrifying when people are willing to do that much damage just to try and score a point?!
I'm just having a hard time wrapping my brain around the fact that an adult would deliberately do this to a child!
I think maybe in some people the need to be 'right' supersedes anything else (like someone else's right to be healthy!). It's not quite in the same vein, but when my son was little I tried him on a gluten and dairy free diet, as some children with autism respond well to this. It's quite hard work and tends to cost more; I tried it for six months and it didn't seem to have made any difference so I abandoned it. He was very young and my mum was looking after him for me three days a week at this point. When I told her I'd stopped the diet because I didn't think it had helped she said she knew it wouldn't so she'd carried on giving him Weetabix and milk when he was at her house anyway
:shock: As it's turned out over the years he's not allergic to gluten or dairy so it wouldn't have made any difference but it's just the principle of someone else making decisions about your child on your behalf and not thinking there's anything wrong with that!
Anyway, how are things with you, Bonesie? x
I'm glad you're NC with her. She is a real piece of work.
As for me, I picked up a virus from somewhere....it feels like the Flu even though it's summer. Not fun.
-
https://www.creators.com/read/at-work-lindsey-novak
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Ah, no, those summer bugs can really knock you for six, it's no fun being poorly in the heat, either! Hope you start to feel better soon xx
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Ah, no, those summer bugs can really knock you for six, it's no fun being poorly in the heat, either! Hope you start to feel better soon xx
Thanks.
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4xad10/mil_brought_sick_nephew_over_to_see_newborn/
WTF?!?!?!?!? :shock:
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4xbehn/famine_ronnie_demands_to_replace_so_and_nearly/
LOVE the KARMA!!! :D
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4xctrg/another_relationships_mil_and_ear_peircing_wtf/
I hope the parents of this infant go BALLISTIC on both the NMIL and the place that did the piercing WITHOUT PARENTAL PERMISSION!!!! :evil:
I vaguely recall there was a case on Judge Judy, (I think as my memory is a bit fuzzy after several years), where a dumbass relative took an underage CHILD, (about 12 or 13?), to get a tattoo WITHOUT PARENTAL PERMISSION and the parents were LIVID!!!!! If my memory is correct, the parent sued both this dumbass relative and the tattoo parlor owner AND WON!!!! Plus, Judge Judy wiped the floor with the defendants!!!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4xglpz/the_time_when_famine_ronnie_tried_to_undermine_me/
That MONSTER is lucky she was allowed to leave the ER in one piece!!!!!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4xip28/baal_dining_out/
BWAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I LOVE that Server!!!! She EARNED her tip!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol:
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https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4xjpy1/talk_me_off_the_ledge/
And now the song, "One Day More", from Les Miserables is playing in my head!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence.html
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Sooner or later, N's show their true colors.
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:|
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https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/communication-success/201602/10-signs-narcissistic-parent
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I found myself having to remind bf Blueberry that my boundaries WILL BE RESPECTED OR ELSE!!!!!
We got into a heated exchange over the use of my laundry facilities after I received a letter regarding the increase of electricity use and subsequent increase in my utility bills. He attempted to deny that he EVER offered to pay me extra for using my washer and dryer because, after all, he's already paying me a small amount in rent, and bringing me a FEW groceries, (while trying to whine about the rent being a "financial hardship" for him and IGNORING that his concept of "groceries" would be, MAYBE, ONE EAR OF CORN)! :x When he attempted to deny what he previously told me, I responded: "Oh, really? Let me play back our initial conversation when you FIRST asked me for permission to use my washer and dryer after yours broke....." (and proceeded to give him a verbatim report)! I reminded him that (1) I am NOT working and have been UNABLE TO FIND EMPLOYMENT, (2) my monthly pension is SMALL and CANNOT STRETCH ANY FURTHER, (3) I am dealing with health and medical expenses that are BUSTING MY BUDGET, (4) he is WORKING SIX DAYS A WEEK, leaving little or NO time for US, (5) given the amount of hours he is working per week, with his Ph.D. I KNOW that he is pulling in MORE MONEY PER WEEK THAN I'M RECEIVING IN MY PENSION PER MONTH, (6) with this recent receipt of notice that my utility bills are skyrocketing on top of my health and medical issues, either he pay extra for the utilities THAT HE IS INCREASING OR TAKE HIS MESS TO THE LAUNDROMAT AND PAY THERE!!!!!! :P (He ponied up the money under MORE grumbling and protest! I also discovered that he had done SEVERAL loads of laundry, while I was in Philadelphia and NEVER BOTHERED TO CLEAN OUT THE LINT FILTER IN MY DRYER!! I had SHOWED HIM HOW TO DO THAT AND STRESSED THAT IT IS A SAFETY ISSUE TO TAKE CARE OF!!! I DON'T NEED TO HAVE MY DRYER TO CATCH FIRE FROM THE OVERFLOWING LINT! He attempted to plead ignorance and attempted to DENY that as well! IDIOT!!!! :P) SHEESH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Can I SMACK HIM NOW?!?!?!?!?)
Bones
I've come to the conclusion that he has been NOTHING but a LYING, USING N all along! :x
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I've also come to the painful conclusion that bf just might be an N.
During the past six months, I've landed in the emergency room, twice. The first time, I was dealing with an asthmatic attack as a result of bronchitis. BF dropped me off at the ER, told me to call him when I was done, AND LEFT! The second time was a couple of weeks ago when I suddenly began vomiting uncontrollably and had NO idea what was wrong! When I began showing symptoms of dehydration, I contacted my doctor while bf was with me. When I relayed the message from the doctor that she was recommending another trip to the ER, bf blurts: "I don't have time for this!" and WALKED OUT! I had to get to the ER alone. Now he is wondering WHY I'M UPSET AT HIM!
Bones
Why didn't I see this Narcissism before?
-
I think Mr. Useless Doufous finally got pissed off because I kept telling him that he needs to take responsibility for his own messes and that I am NOT his mother, housekeeper, nor maid. This argument has been going back and forth since March 2001! That's right, nearly ELEVEN YEARS, when he first brought in his FILTHY birdcages that were infested with cockroaches! I've been fighting his cockroaches ever since even though I have asthma.
For awhile, he would bring me his version of insecticide that was supposed to be safe around the birds. Common sense should have told him that when it is sprayed on cockroaches, eventually the bottle will need to be replaced with a FULL one. He would always wait until I was completely out, ignoring requests and reminders, and give me the excuse that he would "get round to it later".
This past week, after reminding AGAIN that I'm completely OUT of his version of insecticide and that the roaches are WORSE, once again I got the usual "I'll get round to it later" routine. I told him that since he won't do what he is responsible to do, then I will do what I HAVE TO DO to fight the cockroaches! He ignored me so I got a can of HotShot and started spraying in the hallways and in my home office. (I told him that I was going to do this if he didn't do anything.)
This morning, when I got up, I discovered that he had showed up, overnight, took his last bird cage and left garbage and cockroach mess behind. DAMN CREEP!!!!
Typical N behaviors!
I need to make a list to remind myself.
-
Sorry (Bones), does sound like classic N behavior. Painful to hear your bf maybe an N also!
Is this new? Or repeated abuse and neglect of someone who is suppose to love you?
seasons ox
There's been passive-aggressive behaviors for quite a while. When trips to the Emergency Room became a recent part of the equation, then this behavior became more blatant. He attempted to insist that I didn't need the Emergency Room while my doctor was telling me that I needed to go. My trust level in him dropped to zero.
Bones
I'm realizing now that his behaviors toward my health issues is a HUGE RED FLAG!!!!
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https://www.creators.com/read/at-work-lindsey-novak
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:|
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:|
-
https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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:|
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4z0s7f/mil_in_the_wild_yahoo_answers_edition/
This sounds as bad as the dingbat I used to sublet from. When her then son-in-law got a vasectomy, she actually THREW A TANTRUM because he DARED get a vasectomy WITHOUT HER PERMISSION and SCREAMED that she was ENTITLED to as many grandchildren as SHE DEMANDED!!!!
W...T...F...F?!?!?!?!? :?
Then she DEMANDED that I side with HER against her then-son-in-law! I told her that her nose ENDS where their marriage begins and she needs to back off, butt out, and STFU!!!!!! She got pissed at me because I DARED DEFY HER ORDERS!!!!
I am so glad she's GONE!!!!!
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence.html
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:|
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Can't sleep.
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4zg4kh/why_did_i_think_today_would_be_different/
NWomb-Donor did this to me when two of my friends died, including laughing at my grief and threatening to punish me in public at the funeral home! She was a total C**T!!!!!
-
https://www.creators.com/read/at-work-lindsey-novak
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4zix1k/you_dont_like_pepperoni/
Reading about the tantrum this N was throwing reminded me of the day my NGCB moved out of the house and the NWomb-Donor was going APE-$H!T because her PROPERTY DARED TO LEAVE HER!!!!! As he is walking out the door, with the last of his belongings, walking toward his roommate's car, she is literally SCREAMING at him: "How DARE you LEAVE ME!!!!! AFTER ALL I COOKED FOR YOU!!!!!" He paused just long enough to respond: "And you are a LOUSY cook!", then walked on over to the car and left!
I was trying to bury my face in a book so I wouldn't be yanked into the crossfire between these two when NWomb-Donor started on me with the crocodile tears: "Did you hear THAT?!?!?! Did you hear what he DARED to say to MEEEEEEEE?!?!?!? He says I'm a LOUSY cook!" (By this point, I knew there was no getting away from this lunacy) so I put my book down, looked her in the face and replied: "He's right! You ARE a LOUSY cook!" I halfway expected her to start pounding on me as I was the designated Scape Goat but this time I shocked her into just standing there with her mouth hanging open. I remember telling her that if she kept trying to claw at him like that, she would lose him forever. (Years later, he went NC after he cussed her out. What triggered that, I'll never know.)
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:|
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4zy25d/we_are_officially_nc_with_zooella_de_vil_angry/
If I had been the one catching an N doing THIS to a TODDLER, I would NOT have stopped with just a slap! I would have KILLED THAT C**T!!!!!
-
Wrenching story about your brother, Bones.
Thanks for sharing that.
Hops
-
Wrenching story about your brother, Bones.
Thanks for sharing that.
Hops
You're welcome, Hops.
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/504qei/control_cathy_and_the_kid_killing_fumes/
AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
-
https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence.html
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5082nq/gropeys_unfortunate_nickname/
This cracked me up!!!!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/50aw0q/fmil_vs_the_prosthetic_leg/
KARMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/50ap8m/my_mil_is_a_badass/
:o
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/509b4z/why_i_am_vlc_with_crazy_and_nc_with_sis1/
LOVE that 4-year-old!!!! She's the BEST!!!!!!! :D
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:(
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:|
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:|
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/50tq9e/coulomb_is_in_jailfor_a_long_time/
:shock: :o
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https://www.creators.com/read/at-work-lindsey-novak
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/50vss8/the_correct_way_to_getting_rid_of_pennywise/
:lol:
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2016/3/7/1/fear-of-pet-snake-keeps-grandma#disqus-comments
This reminds me of something that my cousins did when they were kids. When their mother, my aunt, was dying of cancer, our grandmother and NWomb-donor would go over to the house to "take care" of the dying relative. These two also used that as an excuse to go through my cousins' rooms and TAKE things that THEY wanted! If one of my cousins was given some candy and these two biddies found it, they took it. If they found a comic book, (these two old bats did NOT like comic books), they would TRASH IT. (The list goes on with stuff they would rummage through without permission even though IT WAS NOT THEIR HOUSE!) My cousins were aware that these two old bats had a PHOBIA of rodents and snakes. With their father's permission, they each got a white mouse that they kept in a cage in each of their respective rooms. What made it FUN was that NOTHING was said about the mice to these two old rummaging bats. When they went to go rummaging again and encountered the mice, they both FREAKED!!!! :lol: They attempted to ORDER my uncle to GET RID OF THEM because THEY DID NOT APPROVE! My uncle told both of them: NOPE! The two biddies were pissed off because they couldn't rummage through my cousins' stuff anymore.
Ha, that is brilliant, Bones, serves them both right! It's funny how some people just have no respect for privacy or boundaries, yet I bet they'd be the first to complain if someone went through their stuff.
Thanks, Tupp!
That is EXACTLY the way they were!
Also, NWomb-Donor had such a PHOBIA of snakes that she would throw a magazine across the room if she encountered a PICTURE of a snake! Imagine what happened when she decided to drop in to visit my NGC brother and his wife, (uninvited), and discovered they were keeping LIVE BURMESE PYTHONS when she attempted to rummage through their house! I thought it was HYSTERICALLY FUNNY!!! :lol: She never visited again!
Ha ha, if only it were always that easy to get rid of anyone you didn't want around! :) x
Looks like this is the PERFECT way to get rid of an N!!!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/511cdt/let_me_see_my_baby_simpleton_the_tale_of_one_mink/
This N learned the hard way that if you make an idle suicide threat, THERE WILL BE CONSEQUENCES!!!!!!
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:(
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https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2016/9/5/anglo-woman-using-spanish-fears-she
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence.html
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/51atbg/mil_in_the_wild_urgent_care_edition/
This N has a LOT of NERVE!!!!!! :shock:
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/51coez/zooella_de_vil_is_in_jailfor_a_long_time_hopefully/
OMG!!!!!
This N REALLY WENT OFF THE DEEP END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/51gph4/i_shouldnt_have_to_deal_with_this_shit_but_i_am/
This N is similar to NDoofus except NDoofus was more passive-aggressive but just as grabby for stuff SHE wanted NOW!!!!!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/51hhjg/jabba_demands_pizza_then_complains_when_she_gets/
KARMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:lol:
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/51coez/zooella_de_vil_is_in_jailfor_a_long_time_hopefully/
OMG!!!!!
This N REALLY WENT OFF THE DEEP END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Due to legal necessities, including the fact that this is literally a Federal case, the poster's attorney has advised she take this down until after the case has been adjudicated in court. She will post an update later when it is safe to do so.
-
:(
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/51r3al/she_melted_my_bra/
This reminds me of when NDoofus BRAGGED about destroying her sister's maternity bras and LAUGHED ABOUT IT!!!!! When I told NDoofus she needed to replace what she destroyed, she whinged: "BUUUUTTTT, they're EXPENSIVE!"
Now I realize she deliberately destroyed her sister's maternity bras as "punishment" for DARING to produce the first grandchild BEFORE ENTITLED NDOOFUS!!!! BEEYOTCH!!!!!
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence.html
-
https://www.creators.com/read/at-work-lindsey-novak
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Need to vent.....
I've been sick...again...for several days and it feels like I'm trying to cough up a lung.
I received some e-mails about upcoming meetings in my community and I responded that I'm unable to attend any of them due to this lung crap that is very possibly contagious.
Less than 48 hours after explaining this, I get an e-mail this morning that basically said the following:
"I know you're sick but can you get out of bed and attend this meeting tonight so I don't have to?"
DA FUQ?!?!?!?!?!?!?! SERIOUSLY?!?!?!?!?!?!? MORON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:x
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/51coez/zooella_de_vil_is_in_jailfor_a_long_time_hopefully/
OMG!!!!!
This N REALLY WENT OFF THE DEEP END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Due to legal necessities, including the fact that this is literally a Federal case, the poster's attorney has advised she take this down until after the case has been adjudicated in court. She will post an update later when it is safe to do so.
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/51vd69/zooella_de_vil_is_actually_in_jail_this_time/
Small update......... :shock:
-
In celebration of Star Trek's 50th Anniversary, I've been watching the DVDs of Season One of The Original Series. The first disc has the following episodes: "The Man Trap", (the premiere episode which was originally broadcast on September 8, 1966), "Charlie X", and "Where No Man Has Gone Before".
I couldn't help but notice that the salt vampire in "The Man Trap", and Charlie Evans in "Charlie X" were both narcissists from the get-go. Gary Mitchell turned into a narcissist in "Where No Man Has Gone Before". All three narcissists experienced karma!
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
-
https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/522w4e/dear_abby_and_the_actual_bridal_shower/
I LOVE it when an N gets a SMACKDOWN!!!!!
:lol:
-
Having computer trouble.
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/51coez/zooella_de_vil_is_in_jailfor_a_long_time_hopefully/
OMG!!!!!
This N REALLY WENT OFF THE DEEP END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Due to legal necessities, including the fact that this is literally a Federal case, the poster's attorney has advised she take this down until after the case has been adjudicated in court. She will post an update later when it is safe to do so.
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/51vd69/zooella_de_vil_is_actually_in_jail_this_time/
Small update......... :shock:
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/52a84m/cue_zooellas_flying_monkeys/
And another small update!
-
Not sure what is wrong with my computer.
-
:|
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/538blb/mil_in_the_wild_you_shall_not_pass/
BTW, my new laptop is not working. The old computer I'm using now is cranky and cuts off the Internet without warning. :(
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/538blb/mil_in_the_wild_you_shall_not_pass/
My computer is still acting up. I'll be offline for awhile.
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/53og0c/the_pink_stained_dress_aka_the_time_this/
My computer is still non-functional.
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/54hc50/mil_in_the_wild_babys_wellbeing_trumps_over_gmom/
Computer still down.
-
Oh Bonesie what is wrong with your PC? Such a pain when these things stop working, I hope you can get it sorted out soon! x
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/51coez/zooella_de_vil_is_in_jailfor_a_long_time_hopefully/
OMG!!!!!
This N REALLY WENT OFF THE DEEP END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Due to legal necessities, including the fact that this is literally a Federal case, the poster's attorney has advised she take this down until after the case has been adjudicated in court. She will post an update later when it is safe to do so.
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/51vd69/zooella_de_vil_is_actually_in_jail_this_time/
Small update......... :shock:
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/52a84m/cue_zooellas_flying_monkeys/
And another small update!
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/54n3i5/zooella_update/?sort=new
TRIGGER WARNING!!!!
This was not the outcome I expected!
-
Oh Bonesie what is wrong with your PC? Such a pain when these things stop working, I hope you can get it sorted out soon! x
Thanks, Tupp.
I'm trying to use a cranky old laptop to reply.
The techie thinks it's a video card that needs to be replaced. I'm waiting for the part to come in.
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/54ymji/occasional_banshee_and_the_op_that_pulls_through/
Computer still down.
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5559wh/the_one_where_famine_ronnie_gets_a_hard_dose_of/
Computer still down.
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/56z0bq/mil_in_the_wild_youre_sure_a_bad_little_girl/?sort=new
Laptop still being repaired.
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/comments/2aor1w/an_nmoms_lack_of_respect_for_privacy_or_the/
Computer still being repaired.
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/56zz12/occasional_banshee_doesnt_listen/
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/57pb86/i_gave_pennywise_her_wish_tonight_now_she_has/
Glorious Revenge!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/58e0d1/my_cats_have_gotten_my_revenge_for_me/
Love this cat!!!
Laptop still in repair.
-
Hi Bones.
-
Hi Bones.
Hi
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/58qtbs/boundary_stomping_all_over_my_sons_guts/?sort=new
:shock:
Computer still in repair shop
-
I have my computer back and Mr. Idiot decided to "ghost" on me! Apparently, he can't deal with my ongoing medical issues so he decided to run like a coward! :evil:
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
-
https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie
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https://www.creators.com/read/at-work-lindsey-novak
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I'm dealing with a MAJOR disruption in my finances and having a LOT of anxiety over it along with dealing with ongoing medical issues that interfere with my ability to work and earn enough income to supplement my pension. I've been trying to work my online research business but have not been able to earn enough of an income from that to meet my required expenses such as taxes, hospital bills, food, mortgage, insurance, utilities, etc., etc.
Then I get a message on Facebook: "Why not work online from home to supplement your pension?"
*Head-Desk*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Just catching up Bones, you've been having a right old time of it! Is the computer working properly now? Sorry about the ghost man, it's frustrating when people do that. And the work from home messages - it does make you want to bang your head against the wall. Hope things start to get a bit easier x
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Just catching up Bones, you've been having a right old time of it! Is the computer working properly now? Sorry about the ghost man, it's frustrating when people do that. And the work from home messages - it does make you want to bang your head against the wall. Hope things start to get a bit easier x
Thanks, Tupp.
This year has been HELL!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5beyrn/the_moment_my_fdh_realized_that_fmil_was_never/
This OP is asking for suggestions for nicknaming her NFMIL. She suggested "Roadkill". Her story will explain why she thought of that idea. I must confess......I snickered.
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
-
https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie
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https://www.creators.com/read/at-work-lindsey-novak
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5bhi23/crying_wolf_funny/
I LOVE what this dude did!!!! Well played!!!! :lol:
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Just catching up Bones, you've been having a right old time of it! Is the computer working properly now? Sorry about the ghost man, it's frustrating when people do that. And the work from home messages - it does make you want to bang your head against the wall. Hope things start to get a bit easier x
Thanks, Tupp.
This year has been HELL!
Let's hope the next one's better, life can be so tough sometimes, we all do better when it's a little bit easier, I think :) x
-
Just catching up Bones, you've been having a right old time of it! Is the computer working properly now? Sorry about the ghost man, it's frustrating when people do that. And the work from home messages - it does make you want to bang your head against the wall. Hope things start to get a bit easier x
Thanks, Tupp.
This year has been HELL!
Let's hope the next one's better, life can be so tough sometimes, we all do better when it's a little bit easier, I think :) x
Thanks, (((((((((((((((((((((((Tupp)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
-
Feeling sick and terrified this morning!
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5c4197/she_called_the_police_on_herself_and_got_arrested/
-
Hi Bones,
Feeling sick and terrified this morning!
Many people are feeling what you are feeling. My daughter, Micaela, posted about it today on Facebook, and I copied her Facebook post to a new topic on the Board.
You are not alone.
Take care,
Richard
-
Hi Bones,
Feeling sick and terrified this morning!
Many people are feeling what you are feeling. My daughter, Micaela, posted about it today on Facebook, and I copied her Facebook post to a new topic on the Board.
You are not alone.
Take care,
Richard
Thanks, Richard.
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/56z0bq/mil_in_the_wild_youre_sure_a_bad_little_girl/?sort=new
Laptop still being repaired.
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5c8688/mil_in_the_wild_youre_such_a_bad_little_girl/
:o
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence.html
-
Hi Bones,
Feeling sick and terrified this morning!
Many people are feeling what you are feeling. My daughter, Micaela, posted about it today on Facebook, and I copied her Facebook post to a new topic on the Board.
You are not alone.
Take care,
Richard
I've had family members tell me that they are now on the receiving end of bigotry with being called "Mexicans" and being told to "go back where they came from". They are Puerto Rican and the last thing I've heard is that Puerto Rico is STILL a US Territory and that my family members are AMERICAN CITIZENS! Then I got a FB message from a racist telling me to "delete myself" because I objected to Islamophobia! Have we been teleported back to Nazi Germany and the Holocaust?!?!?!?!?
-
https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
-
Hi Bones,
Feeling sick and terrified this morning!
Many people are feeling what you are feeling. My daughter, Micaela, posted about it today on Facebook, and I copied her Facebook post to a new topic on the Board.
You are not alone.
Take care,
Richard
I've had family members tell me that they are now on the receiving end of bigotry with being called "Mexicans" and being told to "go back where they came from". They are Puerto Rican and the last thing I've heard is that Puerto Rico is STILL a US Territory and that my family members are AMERICAN CITIZENS! Then I got a FB message from a racist telling me to "delete myself" because I objected to Islamophobia! Have we been teleported back to Nazi Germany and the Holocaust?!?!?!?!?
I just learned something, via DNA, that has me looking at the Six Degrees of Separation and the current political climate! It also involves Woody Guthrie!!!!
I had NO idea!!!!!!
:o
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kkwEIuTFBgA
This song is quite timely now and there's a story behind it!
-
I'm debating whether or not to disclose about the DNA without outing myself.
-
Hi Bones,
Feeling sick and terrified this morning!
Many people are feeling what you are feeling. My daughter, Micaela, posted about it today on Facebook, and I copied her Facebook post to a new topic on the Board.
You are not alone.
Take care,
Richard
I've had family members tell me that they are now on the receiving end of bigotry with being called "Mexicans" and being told to "go back where they came from". They are Puerto Rican and the last thing I've heard is that Puerto Rico is STILL a US Territory and that my family members are AMERICAN CITIZENS! Then I got a FB message from a racist telling me to "delete myself" because I objected to Islamophobia! Have we been teleported back to Nazi Germany and the Holocaust?!?!?!?!?
I've been doing quite a bit of purging of my Friend list on Facebook whenever anyone starts to act the clown! One gloated about the violence done to minorities and, today, another started attacking a family member of mine because my family member was defending me. This idiot's attack was to call my family member crazy, making racial comments, and I....SAW.....RED!!!!!! My family member has struggled with bipolar disorder all of her life and for this idiot, who does NOT even know me or my family member, to attack this way.....that was the fastest I've hit the EJECT button in a LONG time!!!!
-
Hi Bones,
Feeling sick and terrified this morning!
Many people are feeling what you are feeling. My daughter, Micaela, posted about it today on Facebook, and I copied her Facebook post to a new topic on the Board.
You are not alone.
Take care,
Richard
I've had family members tell me that they are now on the receiving end of bigotry with being called "Mexicans" and being told to "go back where they came from". They are Puerto Rican and the last thing I've heard is that Puerto Rico is STILL a US Territory and that my family members are AMERICAN CITIZENS! Then I got a FB message from a racist telling me to "delete myself" because I objected to Islamophobia! Have we been teleported back to Nazi Germany and the Holocaust?!?!?!?!?
I've been doing quite a bit of purging of my Friend list on Facebook whenever anyone starts to act the clown! One gloated about the violence done to minorities and, today, another started attacking a family member of mine because my family member was defending me. This idiot's attack was to call my family member crazy, making racial comments, and I....SAW.....RED!!!!!! My family member has struggled with bipolar disorder all of her life and for this idiot, who does NOT even know me or my family member, to attack this way.....that was the fastest I've hit the EJECT button in a LONG time!!!!
I received a message from Ms. Privilege after she attacked my family member projecting her venom on me. Needless to say, I've blocked her! Attack my loved ones and then try to project that $hit on me?!?!?!? OH HELL TO THE NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-
Hi Bones,
Feeling sick and terrified this morning!
Many people are feeling what you are feeling. My daughter, Micaela, posted about it today on Facebook, and I copied her Facebook post to a new topic on the Board.
You are not alone.
Take care,
Richard
I've had family members tell me that they are now on the receiving end of bigotry with being called "Mexicans" and being told to "go back where they came from". They are Puerto Rican and the last thing I've heard is that Puerto Rico is STILL a US Territory and that my family members are AMERICAN CITIZENS! Then I got a FB message from a racist telling me to "delete myself" because I objected to Islamophobia! Have we been teleported back to Nazi Germany and the Holocaust?!?!?!?!?
I've been doing quite a bit of purging of my Friend list on Facebook whenever anyone starts to act the clown! One gloated about the violence done to minorities and, today, another started attacking a family member of mine because my family member was defending me. This idiot's attack was to call my family member crazy, making racial comments, and I....SAW.....RED!!!!!! My family member has struggled with bipolar disorder all of her life and for this idiot, who does NOT even know me or my family member, to attack this way.....that was the fastest I've hit the EJECT button in a LONG time!!!!
I received a message from Ms. Privilege after she attacked my family member projecting her venom on me. Needless to say, I've blocked her! Attack my loved ones and then try to project that $hit on me?!?!?!? OH HELL TO THE NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is what I posted a little while ago:
Last night, I received this private message after I unfriended an IDIOT for attacking my family member based on my family member's disability. (I do NOT tolerate attacks like THAT!!!) My family member was defending my First Amendment rights when the idiot started attacking her. I didn't hesitate to toss the idiot in my trebuchet bucket! She can project all she wants, she is BLOCKED now!
I want this to be CLEAR....I NEVER mentioned ANYTHING about her ethnicity! I simply informed her that I do NOT tolerate her attacking my family member! This BEEYOTCH does NOT know me nor does she know my family!!!!!
"11/13, 11:17pm
Seriously? Because my face is light in my profile picture you're going to assume that I am not Jewish, or Natve American?! Or are you just claiming that Jewish women or Native Americans are among the people who don't know what being harassed is? What a hate filled narcissistic bigot you are. Thanks for unfriending me."
What started her attacks was when I posted a general comment concerning White Privilege. She assumed that I was targeting HER specifically. WHERE she got THAT idea, I have NO idea! When my family member defended me and defended my First Amendment rights, this inDUHvidual began attacking her based on her disability!!! THAT is a HUGE NO-NO!!!! BUH-BYE!!!
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence.html
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Still struggling with PTSD! This current political climate with all the racism and bigotry is triggering flashbacks to NWomb-Donor! She spewed the SAME $H!T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I'm debating whether or not to disclose about the DNA without outing myself.
I thought I would post the updated lyrics of a song, "Old Man Trump", that my cousin wrote back in the 1940's. I wish my cousin was alive today to add his voice to ours:
Twenty First Century Version in Honor of Woody Guthrie:
Old Man Drumpf
I suppose that Old Man Drumpf knows just how much racial hate
He stirred up in that bloodpot of human hearts
When he drawed that color line
Here at his Drumpf Kingdom family project
USA ain't my home!
No, I just can't pay this rent!
My money's down the drain,
And my soul is badly bent!
USA is Drumpf’s Tower
Where no black folks come to roam,
No, no, Old Man Drumpf!
Old USA ain't my home!
I'm calling out my welcome to you and your man both
Welcoming you here to USA
To love in any way you please and to have some kind of a decent place
To have your kids raised up in.
Old USA ain't my home!
No, I just can't pay this rent!
My money's down the drain,
And my soul is badly bent!
USA is Drumpf’s Tower
Where no black folks come to roam,
No, no, Old Man Drumpf!
Old USA ain't my home!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5dd5ll/mil_in_the_wild_daughter_gets_last_laugh_aka_new/?sort=new
Kind of creepy and, at the same time, if the womb-donor was a NASTY, EVIL, !@#$%^, what BETTER way to "flip the bird" at her?
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https://www.creators.com/read/at-work-lindsey-novak
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Well, Mr. Idiot Ghost sent me an e-mail announcing that he's going to pick up his belongings sometime today. I told him, quite bluntly, he needs to coordinate with MY schedule! He hasn't replied to my statement yet. Where does he get the idea that he can just show up on my doorstep and expect me to instantaneously drop everything for his convenience? F**K THAT NOISE!!!!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5dmduo/baby_blues_7_be_careful_of_what_you_say/
This love story helped me feel better.
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5dpdvv/ihoc_mil4_cupids_badly_aimed_arrow_enter_uihocmil/
I LOVE this poster's writing style!
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https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence.html
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https://www.creators.com/read/at-work-lindsey-novak
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5e5ubk/the_time_mil_demanded_she_stay_in_our_home/
This N is BAT$HIT!!!!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5e5ubk/the_time_mil_demanded_she_stay_in_our_home/
This N is BAT$HIT!!!!
I couldn't help but notice that more than one NMIL acts as if their adult children's homes are AUTOMATICALLY THEIR PROPERTY and that the NMIL's can INVADE ANY TIME THEY WANT!!!!
Then I realized, it's NOT just the NMIL's who have this delusion....it's other N's as well, like NDoofus and Mr. Ghost Idiot!
GEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5ekg39/last_one_i_promise/
This made me chuckle!
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPx2t7xoF1k
A fun Thanksgiving song from my Cousin.
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http://www.issendai.com/psychology/estrangement/missing-missing-reasons.html
This was posted on Reddit.
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5exc8z/my_snoop_of_a_mil_is_coming_for_a_visit/?sort=new
I'm imagining how the snoop would react to these booby-traps and ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!
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https://www.bustle.com/articles/132103-7-signs-your-parent-is-emotionally-immature
Makes me think of the parentified child.
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5f77u8/mil_in_the_wild_grandma_wants_to_hold_a_sick_baby/
WAIT!!! WHAT??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!
:shock:
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/56z0bq/mil_in_the_wild_youre_sure_a_bad_little_girl/?sort=new
Laptop still being repaired.
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5c8688/mil_in_the_wild_youre_such_a_bad_little_girl/
:o
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5f96mu/mil_in_the_wild_youre_such_a_bad_little_girl/
Latest update.....this granny is CLEARLY BAT$HIT!!!!!
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I've been doing more research on my family history on my Dad's side and found even more unexpected surprises!!!!!
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I'm wondering what else I'm going to find on my Dad's side of the family. I'm also struggling with RAGE knowing that NWomb-Donor DELIBERATLY cut us off from Dad's side of the family because his relatives were the "wrong color", etc. Hateful C**T!!!!
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http://asmdss.com/humor/overprotective-new-army-mom-ruins-sons-military-life-after-complaining-to-the-wrong-people
This reminds me of some STUPIDITY that NWomb-Donor pulled when NGCB was in the Marines. Apparently, he wasn't writing home frequently enough to satisfy HER ROYAL C**TNE$$ and contacted his commanding officer to complain! His commanding officer ripped him a new one so when NGCB came home to visit, while on leave, a whole boatload of $H!T HIT THE FAN between these two!!! All I could do was shake my head!
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https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2016/12/3/teens-pursuit-of-crush-could-do
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5gdl6e/paris_milton_and_ds1/
Twins.....the MILiminators!!!!!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5gewrr/courtroom_smackdown_of_a_justnomil/
I love the smell of an N getting a legal smackdown in the morning!!!! :D
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5ghgpe/hellsbelle_ate_my_crackers_update/
Visualizing how the local sheriffs dealt with a trespassing N and her flying monkeys had me ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5gjxce/paris_milton_and_ds2/
This triggered a funny memory for me......
Decades ago, I used to work in a dime store while I was still in high school, (anyone remember G.C. Murphy Company and Woolworth's?) I was working the cash register when I noticed a young mother with her toddler, (this was way, way, back during the Dinosaur Age with the CLOTH diapers and those HUGE diaper pins). The young mother was focused on shopping while the toddler was stumbling along with a cloth diaper that was CLEARLY SLIPPING as gravity took over, (the toddler was too little to say, "Hey...Mom.....I need help here.....) Anyway, each step the toddler took, the cloth diaper slipped a little lower until, finally, the diaper dropped completely to the floor and there stood a NAKED TODDLER! What did the kid do? Looked around and did the ONLY thing a toddler could do....stepped out of the diaper puddle and SCAMPERED AT FULL SPEED DOWN THE STORE AISLE!!! What was Mom doing? Still focused on shopping and COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS TO A STREAKING NAKED TODDLER!
I finally walked over, picked up the abandoned diaper, approached the mother and said: "Ummmm, Ma'am, I think your baby just lost something." She gave me a blank look, looked at what I was holding in my hand, and took several seconds for her to realize that HER BABY WAS RUNNING THROUGH THE STORE NAKED!!!!! She snatched the diaper out of my hand, with a horrified look on her face, and took off running after the toddler, who was laughing gleefully while he ran through the store!!!!
I couldn't stop cracking up laughing! :lol:
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence.html
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5gpq4u/mil_in_the_wild_mall_madness/
This NMIL just lost ALL her privileges!!!! I would have gone NUCLEAR on her if I had a child that she tried THAT with!!!!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/56z0bq/mil_in_the_wild_youre_sure_a_bad_little_girl/?sort=new
Laptop still being repaired.
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5c8688/mil_in_the_wild_youre_such_a_bad_little_girl/
:o
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5f96mu/mil_in_the_wild_youre_such_a_bad_little_girl/
Latest update.....this granny is CLEARLY BAT$HIT!!!!!
UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5gtgua/mil_in_the_wild_youre_such_a_bad_little_girl/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/56z0bq/mil_in_the_wild_youre_sure_a_bad_little_girl/?sort=new
Laptop still being repaired.
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5c8688/mil_in_the_wild_youre_such_a_bad_little_girl/
:o
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5f96mu/mil_in_the_wild_youre_such_a_bad_little_girl/
Latest update.....this granny is CLEARLY BAT$HIT!!!!!
UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5gtgua/mil_in_the_wild_youre_such_a_bad_little_girl/
I love the smell of Karma in the morning!!
What are the odds of such Karmic Justice coming together like THIS?!?!?!?!
YAY!!!!!
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https://www.creators.com/read/at-work-lindsey-novak
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5i1ua3/mil_in_the_wild_drawing_blood_from_a_child_makes/
Another NMIL in the Wild!!!!
:shock:
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5i9fpi/mrsspratt_and_my_wedding/
Word of Advice......do NOT mess with a Wiccan!!!!
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https://www.creators.com/read/at-work-lindsey-novak
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https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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NOT SAFE FOR WORK!!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4uVqM_HFiY
I had NO idea that turtles could VOCALIZE!!!!!! :shock:
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5ijk2i/mil_in_the_wild_safety_standards_dont_apply_to_her/?st=iwqs306p&sh=810dc61b
Geez!!!!!
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2016/12/16/0/mom-and-daughter-launch-into-premature#disqus-comments
Looks like we have ANOTHER NMIL IN THE WILD!!!!!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5ip4k4/mil_in_the_wild_office_edition_act_i_clouds_on/?st=iws1ja0k&sh=5c9be72e
This just CRACKED me up!!!! :lol:
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5iqko2/finally_radio_silence_in_the_tale_of_gail_and_all/?st=iws9xtqg&sh=1f3d2b1a
I love it when N's get a SMACKDOWN!!!!!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5ip4k4/mil_in_the_wild_office_edition_act_i_clouds_on/?st=iws1ja0k&sh=5c9be72e
This just CRACKED me up!!!! :lol:
The saga has been moved to JUSTNOFAMILY and the FINAL SMACKDOWN was GLORIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOFAMILY/comments/5islew/mil_in_the_wild_office_edition_act_iii_lightning/?st=iwtej8bi&sh=ea8a7a32
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How to deal with Flying Monkeys:
https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/comments/2sioh3/tactic_to_stop_the_most_persistent_flying_monkeys/?st=iwtf7ose&sh=ca81aa10
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5iv45t/well_shoot_i_just_went_off_and_bitchslapped/?st=iwthb6z1&sh=b4a52350
Karmic SMACKDOWN and MIC DROP!!!! :D
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Last night I attended the annual Christmas party with the Star Trek Fan Club and became part of giving the Captain Narcissist a SMACKDOWN!!!!
The party was pot luck style with everyone bringing a dish that had been pre-coordinated....one person preparing turkey, meatloaf and mashed potatoes, another bringing a vegetable, cheese and dip platter, another bringing a cheese, crackers, and pepperoni platter, etc. Needless to say, a lot of it was fresh food that either needed to be refrigerated and/or cooked before serving and we had a timeline to be followed as folks are HUNGRY!!!!
Captain Narcissist contacted a husband-wife team and asked them to give him a ride. Problem #1 was that he WAITED UNTIL LITERALLY THE LAST MINUTE when they were about to park their car at the location of the party!!!! (Annoying as hell when he knew FOR SEVERAL WEEKS about when and where of said party!) They said "All right, will do...", turn around and drive to where he is at the nearby library. The husband-wife team told him to be waiting outside the library so they could get going back to the party and find a decent parking spot because parking was EXTREMELY TIGHT. The husband-wife team arrive at the library and Captain Narcissist is NOWHERE IN SIGHT! The husband goes inside the library to search for Captain Narcissist and finds, (Problem #2) the idiot STILL PUTTERING ON A COMPUTER!!!! The husband tells Captain Narcissist that it's TIME TO GO as they have FOOD in the car, etc. Captain Narcissist IGNORES this and declares that HE is NOT ready to stop puttering on the computer. To make matters worse, Captain Narcissist fully expected the husband and wife to WAIT AN HOUR, right there at the library, until HE was ready to stop puttering on the computer! Needless to say, the husband-wife team WERE PISSED AND LEFT CAPTAIN NARCISSIST AT THE LIBRARY!!!
The husband-wife team arrived at the party and they were BOTH ANGRY!!! I've known them both for several years and the husband is one of the most calm, laid-back folks I have ever met! Anyone who dares to piss HIM off has committed a MAJOR F**K-UP!!!
We get the party underway and start munching on various goodies when the cell phones of various members start blowing up sequentially...first one, then another, and then another, as Captain Narcissist starts serial dialing DEMANDING A RIDE NOW!!!! All of simultaneously shouted at him: "NO!!!!!" What does Captain Narcissist do next? He calls his twin brother, WHO IS IN FLORIDA, to recruit him as a Flying Monkey because the club members DARED SAY NO!!!! When Flying Monkey calls, he got an earful!
Eventually, another member, who arrived late, goes to retrieve Captain Narcissist. I commented that if Captain Narcissist is dumb enough to attempt to play "victim" and try to throw any $hit at the husband-wife team that he jerked around, he deserves to get his A$$ RIPPED!!! From the time Captain Narcissist arrived until I left, he remained strangely quiet...no whinging, no whining. I think he knew he was outnumbered and none of us were in any mood to tolerate anymore $hit from him!
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Looks like I might be 2 for 2 in dealing with entitled N's lately! :P
Recently, I got invited to attend a dinner at the most expensive restaurant in the area with a group of folks who are NOT my friends, NEVER were my friends, and, at this juncture, NEVER WILL BE MY FRIENDS!!! The inDUHvidual who invited me was the same A$$HOLE who had thrown a temper tantrum earlier this year when he got consequences for his own bull$hit! I was NOT interested in dealing with any of THAT! I prefer to hang out with people I ENJOY being with and this particular bunch of N's are NOT fun AT ALL!
I initially responded, politely, with "No, thank you." Mr. Tantrum kept pushing and I responded: "Not interested." Mr. Tantrum STILL kept pushing because he HATES the word "NO"! He added to my irritation with attempting a guilt trip and trying to sweep all of the crap under the rug that he and this bunch of N's had been pulling all year. I told him that singing "Kumbaya" was NOT going to cut it and my answer was STILL NO! He finally PLUCKED MY FINAL NERVE when he responded to my previous comment with: "I REFUSE TO TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER!"
WTF?!?!?!? WHAT THE FLYING F**K?!?!?!? :evil:
Trying to avoid the JADE Trap, I tell him, POINT BLANK: "NO IS A COMPLETE SENTENCE!!! RESPECT MY BOUNDARIES!"
The last message I got from Mr. Tantrum was: "Let me know if you change your mind."
F**K THAT NOISE!!!!
NO MEANS NO!!!! It doesn't mean yes, it doesn't mean maybe....NO STILL MEANS NO!!!!
AAARRRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!
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Oh Bonesie these people are terrible, how stressful! I just don't understand how some are so rude and have no idea of the way they come across to others. Have you got to go near any of them again between now and Christmas or are you safe for a few days at least? x
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I'm safe for a few days now. I won't be dealing with Captain Narcissist again until January for the next club meeting. With Mr. Tantrum, I won't be seeing him until the next Board meeting in January. I'm at the point where I have zero tolerance for fools!
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What IS it with inDUHviduals who DEMAND "Special Exceptions" to policies/rules/regulations/procedures, etc.?!?!?! :P
I might have mentioned, in an earlier posting, about an acquaintance who is renting out his unit. His last tenant created quite an uproar that involved the police due to domestic violence. He had been notified about the situation, several times, for one year in which he did NOTHING that a landlord is required to do! When the first hearing about the situation took place, he gave a lot of excuses. When a SECOND HEARING was required, he CHOSE NOT TO ATTEND because he felt he didn't need to bother! Well, that cost him consequences in the way of being fined! He appealed the fine and it was reduced. Now he's appealing AGAIN, CLAIMING that he's being treated "unfairly"!! WTF?!?!? :P
This is what Mr. Tantrum threw a tantrum about!
And he demands that I pretend this crap NEVER happened and go to dinner with him and other N's? NOPE!
Add in: At the time he was throwing his tantrum, he was also threatening to lawyer up and sue!
THAT cannot be swept under the rug for convenience!
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https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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https://www.creators.com/read/at-work-lindsey-novak
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2016/12/dear_prudence_i_want_to_stop_drinking_but_it_s_the_holidays.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2016/12/dear_prudence_my_bridesmaids_refuse_to_wear_long_sleeved_dresses.html
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2016/12/dear_prudence_my_husband_lectures_me_for_hours_if_i_make_a_mistake.html
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2016/12/25/2/nursing-assistant-loves-the-long-hours#disqus-comments
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5k90rx/my_mom_cornered_my_wife_last_night_about_our_son/?sort=new
We are all painfully familiar with having our voices denied in childhood.
I'm glad he found his and told the N's OFF!!!!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5kahsp/so_i_served_my_mil_tea/
This made me giggle!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5kaw7x/upstairs_mil_in_my_parking_lot/
Sounds like NDoofus who used to park her car in my neighbor's reserved spot, WITHOUT permission, because she REFUSED to park in the designated Visitors' Area! Now she wonders why she is BANNED from the property! MORON!!!!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5kb6tf/she_called_me/
What part of "NO!" is NOT understood?!?!?!? :?
And it's suddenly occurred to me that THIS PARTICULAR N has the AUDACITY to have received a HANDMADE SCARF from her DIL only to GIVE IT AWAY, almost immediately, and DEMAND ANOTHER FREEBIE or else what would HER friends think!!!!! :evil: F**K THAT NOISE!!!! I would NOT hand-make ANYTHING for this BEEYOTCH EVER AGAIN!!!!! This N deserves a HARD SMACKDOWN!!!!
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Recently learned something new about my Cousin:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QcCrP24_Rww
I had NO idea he wrote a Hanukkah song!
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My homeless cousin managed to call me last night, talking a mile a minute! I'm not sure which is more uncomfortable...listening to her ramble while she's drunk out of her mind, or the rapid-fire yakking I was hearing last night that was making me wonder if she's actually Bipolar, having a Manic episode, and off her meds.
She's currently in a nursing home because she had a bad fall and she was describing all the various therapies she's having, e.g. speech therapy, occupational therapy, physical therapy, etc., etc. Because she was talking so much about the speech therapy she was having, I asked her if she had a stroke or something like that. (Egg-donor had to have speech therapy after her stroke and strokes are a HUGE risk on the maternal side of the family. This particular cousin is related through Narcissistic Egg-Donor.) Cousin denied she ever had a stroke and said it was because she had a bad fall. (Uhhh...Cousin, Egg-donor had a BAD fall at the time she had her stroke while she was walking outdoors.) Fortunately, for Cousin, she had her mishap outside of a hospital so she didn't have to go far to the Emergency Room.
She also kept fishing for my address so I gave her my post office box again. (I really do NOT want her turning up on my doorstep, with her hand out, asking me for money. She's tried to fish for money or access to using my home to use my shower and I've always told her NO.)
I feel bad for her, given that she's homeless, and, at the same time, with the medical crap that's going on with me, I have more than enough on my own plate. I can't deal with her issues right now.
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Earlier in the day, yesterday, I got a phone call from the hospital accusing me of NOT paying my medical bills since August!!!! WTF?!?!?!? :?
I already KNEW that these medical bills were being paid EVERY SINGLE MONTH because I have my bank account set up to pay them automatically and I just checked it a few hours before the phone call to make sure everything was fine plus schedule to have another bill paid that just arrived in the snail mail yesterday. (I tend to be anal about paying bills.) Hospital staff person attempted to politely call me a liar until I started rattling off the amounts that I had agreed to be paid every month, etc., and that I had just looked at my bank account shortly before she called and the payments she insisted had NOT been paid HAD ALREADY CLEARED!!! (No, I don't give out any personal details on the off-chance I'm dealing with a scammer.) I heard her push some computer buttons on her end, heard her awkwardly clear her throat, then tell me: "You are correct. I just found the missing payments from August to now. Sorry for bothering you." URGH!!!! :P
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https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evolution-the-self/201404/the-vampire-s-bite-victims-narcissists-speak-out
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Earlier in the day, yesterday, I got a phone call from the hospital accusing me of NOT paying my medical bills since August!!!! WTF?!?!?!? :?
I already KNEW that these medical bills were being paid EVERY SINGLE MONTH because I have my bank account set up to pay them automatically and I just checked it a few hours before the phone call to make sure everything was fine plus schedule to have another bill paid that just arrived in the snail mail yesterday. (I tend to be anal about paying bills.) Hospital staff person attempted to politely call me a liar until I started rattling off the amounts that I had agreed to be paid every month, etc., and that I had just looked at my bank account shortly before she called and the payments she insisted had NOT been paid HAD ALREADY CLEARED!!! (No, I don't give out any personal details on the off-chance I'm dealing with a scammer.) I heard her push some computer buttons on her end, heard her awkwardly clear her throat, then tell me: "You are correct. I just found the missing payments from August to now. Sorry for bothering you." URGH!!!! :P
Glad it was sorted out quickly, Bones, it's really annoying when that sort of thing happens! xx
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Earlier in the day, yesterday, I got a phone call from the hospital accusing me of NOT paying my medical bills since August!!!! WTF?!?!?!? :?
I already KNEW that these medical bills were being paid EVERY SINGLE MONTH because I have my bank account set up to pay them automatically and I just checked it a few hours before the phone call to make sure everything was fine plus schedule to have another bill paid that just arrived in the snail mail yesterday. (I tend to be anal about paying bills.) Hospital staff person attempted to politely call me a liar until I started rattling off the amounts that I had agreed to be paid every month, etc., and that I had just looked at my bank account shortly before she called and the payments she insisted had NOT been paid HAD ALREADY CLEARED!!! (No, I don't give out any personal details on the off-chance I'm dealing with a scammer.) I heard her push some computer buttons on her end, heard her awkwardly clear her throat, then tell me: "You are correct. I just found the missing payments from August to now. Sorry for bothering you." URGH!!!! :P
Glad it was sorted out quickly, Bones, it's really annoying when that sort of thing happens! xx
Believe it or not, they tried to call again TODAY about the EXACT same thing until I pointed out to them that I had a LONG discussion concerning this YESTERDAY! They hung up on me! I'm waiting for them to try to call me again and I'll be armed with my data to shut them down a third time! I'm in NO mood to be messed with!
-
https://www.creators.com/read/at-work-lindsey-novak
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5l2yr6/mil_in_the_wild_wherein_the_bunny_very_nearly/?sort=new
The comments about putting a muzzle and leash on the N had me cracking up!!!! :lol:
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5l2yr6/mil_in_the_wild_wherein_the_bunny_very_nearly/?sort=new
The comments about putting a muzzle and leash on the N had me cracking up!!!! :lol:
I have NO idea WHY the mods deleted the post when it was CLEARLY a Mother-in-Law IN THE WILD!!!!
Someone does NOT know how to read!!!!
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5l2yr6/mil_in_the_wild_wherein_the_bunny_very_nearly/?sort=new
The comments about putting a muzzle and leash on the N had me cracking up!!!! :lol:
I have NO idea WHY the mods deleted the post when it was CLEARLY a Mother-in-Law IN THE WILD!!!!
Someone does NOT know how to read!!!!
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5lejpv/mil_in_the_wild_wherein_the_bunny_meets_the_dil/?st=ixeiuibe&sh=7dcc43e1
The update was worth the wait!!! WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:mrgreen: :o
-
When it comes to doing any kind of research, I tend to be quite anal and detail oriented.
One of my cousins posted on Facebook about how our family descended from Royal Blood with various titles such as Dukes and Baronets. I had to tell her that, unfortunately, those titles are extinct because there was no male heir to inherit and, therefore, their family name could not continue down to our line. I'm thinking she may have confused our ancestors with unrelated others of the same name, e.g. not all people named "Bones" are related to each other. I don't think my cousin is very happy with me right now.
My stance is to verify before making such a statement, just like I learned in my Experimental Psychology class where it was required to rule out confounding variables by double-checking, triple-checking, and testing again to see if the results can be repeated.
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2017/01/dear_prudence_i_don_t_want_a_cellphone.html
-
https://www.creators.com/read/at-work-lindsey-novak
-
http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life-and-relationships/parenting/what-happens-when-narcissists-become-parents-20170105-gtmsml.html
-
I've been reading some postings in the JNMIL website where the Jocasta Complex is often mentioned. Just now, an old memory suddenly started making my skin crawl!!!!
Y'all might remember how NWomb-Donor acted out at NGCBrother's wedding where she was parading around the room declaring that my brother needed to leave his brand-new bride IMMEDIATELY and come home to HER?!?!?! Well, one of the other things that NWomb-Donor did FREQUENTLY was to bring out one of my NGCBrother's pictures, when he was about six or seven years old, riding the hobby horse nude. NWomb-Donor seemed to get her rocks off waving this child porn around at anyone who was visiting! Knowing what I know now about the Jocasta Complex....this memory is making me SHUDDER!!!! EW!!! EW!!!! EW!!!!! EW!!!! :P
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5naim5/mil_in_the_wild_playgroup/
:shock:
-
I've also come to the painful conclusion that bf just might be an N.
During the past six months, I've landed in the emergency room, twice. The first time, I was dealing with an asthmatic attack as a result of bronchitis. BF dropped me off at the ER, told me to call him when I was done, AND LEFT! The second time was a couple of weeks ago when I suddenly began vomiting uncontrollably and had NO idea what was wrong! When I began showing symptoms of dehydration, I contacted my doctor while bf was with me. When I relayed the message from the doctor that she was recommending another trip to the ER, bf blurts: "I don't have time for this!" and WALKED OUT! I had to get to the ER alone. Now he is wondering WHY I'M UPSET AT HIM!
Bones
Why didn't I see this Narcissism before?
There is NO question now! He is DEFINITELY an N!!!!
He just sent me an obnoxious e-mail a little while ago and it went downhill from there!!
F**K him and the horse he rode in on!!!!!
-
https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
-
I've also come to the painful conclusion that bf just might be an N.
During the past six months, I've landed in the emergency room, twice. The first time, I was dealing with an asthmatic attack as a result of bronchitis. BF dropped me off at the ER, told me to call him when I was done, AND LEFT! The second time was a couple of weeks ago when I suddenly began vomiting uncontrollably and had NO idea what was wrong! When I began showing symptoms of dehydration, I contacted my doctor while bf was with me. When I relayed the message from the doctor that she was recommending another trip to the ER, bf blurts: "I don't have time for this!" and WALKED OUT! I had to get to the ER alone. Now he is wondering WHY I'M UPSET AT HIM!
Bones
Why didn't I see this Narcissism before?
There is NO question now! He is DEFINITELY an N!!!!
He just sent me an obnoxious e-mail a little while ago and it went downhill from there!!
F**K him and the horse he rode in on!!!!!
I spotted this quote on Facebook:
When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
I look back on everything I went through while dating Mr. Idiot for the past 16 years and realized there were RED FLAGS all over the place since the beginning! (Example: He started to kick a cat for NO reason and then tried to act nonchalant when I started yelling at him about it! Kicking a cat?!?!?! For NOTHING?!?!?! WHO DOES THAT?!?!?!?)
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5nks1n/we_need_a_justnomil_game_like_an_app_wack_a/
I'm thinking that this game would be similar to Whack-A-Mole!
-
https://www.creators.com/read/at-work-lindsey-novak
This THIEF sounds like an N!!!! :P
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2017/1/12/1/mom-resents-couple-spending-time-at#disqus-comments
My reaction to reading how this Dingbat is trying guilt trips.....GAAAAHHHH!!!!!
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2017/01/dear_prudence_i_don_t_want_a_cellphone.html
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2017/01/dear_prudence_my_stepdaughter_hates_me_but_wants_free_child_care.html
-
I go to my Facebook business page to do some posting and get hit with this in my Message section:
"I see that you don't have a public tree therefore aren't willing to share your work."
This came from a TOXIC N relative who must have been trying to check out, (more accurately, STALK), my Ancestry account. I didn't bother to reply, just instantly BANNED the B!TCH!
FWIW, I AM willing to share my work...I am VERY PARTICULAR who I share my work with! If you ask nicely, no problem! Come at me with an ATTITUDE like this N just did and the N + ATTITUDE will be ejected out the nearest airlock!
My past experiences with this particular bunch, who unfortunately share my DNA, have NEVER been pleasant! I can understand them hating NWomb-Donor and my father for getting married back in 1934. (I wasn't born until about two decades later so I was NOT involved with their extramarital affair that led to my Dad divorcing his first wife during the Depression Era.) Now that NWomb-Donor and my father are dead and gone, it seems that these N's have turned their laser-hatred on me and I have NOT spoken with them frequently BECAUSE of their unpleasantness! Who wants to be around THAT?!?!?!? When I first started my genealogy research, before the Internet became easily available, my research was on paper...birth certificates, death certificates, marriage licenses, copies of wills, etc. THAT I PAID FOR! These N's DEMANDED that I hand EVERYTHING over to THEM because, in THEIR view, I was NOT allowed to have it!!! (As if I'm NOT allowed to be related to them in any way, shape, or form!) They got told "NO!" so their attitude has gotten snottier ever since.
The N who sent me that message on Facebook has been NASTY every single time she has contacted me. She needs to knock it off!!!
-
https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie
NO ONE should be hitting ANYONE in the head!!!!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5o0kl9/nicknaming_is_too_easy_for_me/
This story had me laughing out loud! :lol:
-
I have a question for those with a psychology background....
I've studied about the Oedipus Complex when I was working on my degree and was recently reminded of the Jocasta Complex.
What is the name of the Complex where an egg-donor is being incest-y with their own daughter? Oedipus doesn't really fit because that Complex is about a son being incestuous with his own mother and Jocasta doesn't fit either because that Complex is about a mother being incestuous with her own son, (like the NWomb-Donor that my NGCB and I had to deal with).
Reading one of the threads on JNMIL where a BAT$H!T CRAY-CRAY received a Cease and Desist letter from her daughter and the CREEPY voice-mail she aimed at her daughter had me SHUDDERING!!! My psychology training is trying to figure out WHERE to find this kind of behavior in the DSM.
For reference:
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5o06h3/hellsbelle_and_google_voice_round_2_or_how_long/?sort=new
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I'm trying to process the end of a 16 year relationship and need to talk it out to somebody but I don't know who to talk to.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0MK7qz13bU
This should probably be my theme song for this.
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2017/1/16/0/photo-of-mom-in-body-bag#disqus-comments
:shock: WTF?!?!?!?!?!?
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https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie
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Is it normal to feel lighter after a break-up?
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence.html
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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https://www.creators.com/read/at-work-lindsey-novak
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5p46ml/mil_in_the_wild_gas_station_baaaaaabbbiiieeessss/
This N has a RIDICULOUS sense of ENTITLEMENT!!!!! :shock:
DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Is it normal to feel lighter after a break-up?
If the person was bad for you then yes I think it is :) x
-
Is it normal to feel lighter after a break-up?
If the person was bad for you then yes I think it is :) x
Thanks, Tupp.
-
Right after the election, I felt terrified knowing that Herr Drumpf and his minions were going to try and destroy what they could get away with.
I've discovered a coping mechanism by trolling Herr Drumpf himself every time he Tweets. It's FUN!!!! :D
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2017/1/24/mother-in-laws-pop-ins-make-angry-wife-pop
I have a feeling that this is going to also show up in Just No Mother-in-Law. Not only does the LW have a JNMIL problem, she also has a husband problem who has a limp noodle for a spine!
-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=arJLy3hX1E8&feature=youtu.be
A TED Talk on NPD.
-
Right after the election, I felt terrified knowing that Herr Drumpf and his minions were going to try and destroy what they could get away with.
I've discovered a coping mechanism by trolling Herr Drumpf himself every time he Tweets. It's FUN!!!! :D
Lol, I'm being overly influenced by Facebook, I read that and wanted to 'Like' it :) x
-
Right after the election, I felt terrified knowing that Herr Drumpf and his minions were going to try and destroy what they could get away with.
I've discovered a coping mechanism by trolling Herr Drumpf himself every time he Tweets. It's FUN!!!! :D
Lol, I'm being overly influenced by Facebook, I read that and wanted to 'Like' it :) x
LOL!!!!
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2017/1/24/mother-in-laws-pop-ins-make-angry-wife-pop
I have a feeling that this is going to also show up in Just No Mother-in-Law. Not only does the LW have a JNMIL problem, she also has a husband problem who has a limp noodle for a spine!
And I called it!!! It was posted on JNMIL an hour or so after I first saw it.
-
Right after the election, I felt terrified knowing that Herr Drumpf and his minions were going to try and destroy what they could get away with.
I've discovered a coping mechanism by trolling Herr Drumpf himself every time he Tweets. It's FUN!!!! :D
I've been reading on Facebook about Herr Drumpf throwing temper tantrums. I think trolling that N is like shooting fish in a barrel.
-
https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2017/1/29/siblings-start-to-resent-funding-parents
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Got a phone call last night from a former classmate, (and now ex-friend), BRAGGING about how PROUD she is for NOT voting in the recent Presidential election and insisting that all the news reports are simply "exaggerations". :P F**K THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence.html
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I've been analyzing stuff that has been going on and realizing that people, who I had thought were my friends, had actually been nothing more than acquaintances all along. Recently cutting them out has brought their interactions more into focus. I've tried to be a friend for the past 40 to 50 years and I feel like I've been used.
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https://www.creators.com/read/at-work-lindsey-novak
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
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https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie
Today's letter is going to show up in JNMIL in 3....2.....1........
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2017/2/6/2/doctor-tells-mom-its-time-to#disqus-comments
She sounds possessive of her "PROPERTY" instead of recognizing that her sons are now TEENAGERS and don't need MOMMY staring at them while they are getting physicals from their doctor!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5sqpz3/batshit_confessed_trigger_for_very_specific/?sort=new
:shock:
It's been over ten years since I've studied the laws regarding therapy, confidentiality, and warning folks when a client has become a danger to themselves and others. I remember the particular law involved, just that my fuzzy brain is sifting through the mental files in the wee hours of the morning trying to remember the name of said law. THIS CASE IS A PERFECT EXAMPLE OF NEEDING TO WARN OTHERS!!!!!! GEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5sqpz3/batshit_confessed_trigger_for_very_specific/?sort=new
:shock:
It's been over ten years since I've studied the laws regarding therapy, confidentiality, and warning folks when a client has become a danger to themselves and others. I remember the particular law involved, just that my fuzzy brain is sifting through the mental files in the wee hours of the morning trying to remember the name of said law. THIS CASE IS A PERFECT EXAMPLE OF NEEDING TO WARN OTHERS!!!!!! GEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now I remember:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tarasoff_v._Regents_of_the_University_of_California
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2017/2/9/0/playmate-spills-the-beans-about-the#disqus-comments
What PLANET is this mother living on?!?!?!?!?!? :shock:
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5sqpz3/batshit_confessed_trigger_for_very_specific/?sort=new
:shock:
It's been over ten years since I've studied the laws regarding therapy, confidentiality, and warning folks when a client has become a danger to themselves and others. I remember the particular law involved, just that my fuzzy brain is sifting through the mental files in the wee hours of the morning trying to remember the name of said law. THIS CASE IS A PERFECT EXAMPLE OF NEEDING TO WARN OTHERS!!!!!! GEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5swezm/batshits_friends_and_sister/
I don't know which is worse, BAT$HIT or the FLYING MONKEYS!!!!!
-
https://www.creators.com/read/at-work-lindsey-novak
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2017/02/dear_prudence_my_sister_obsesses_over_having_another_baby.html
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https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2017/2/16/mom-of-heroin-addicts-seeks-support
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https://www.creators.com/read/at-work-lindsey-novak
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5sqpz3/batshit_confessed_trigger_for_very_specific/?sort=new
:shock:
It's been over ten years since I've studied the laws regarding therapy, confidentiality, and warning folks when a client has become a danger to themselves and others. I remember the particular law involved, just that my fuzzy brain is sifting through the mental files in the wee hours of the morning trying to remember the name of said law. THIS CASE IS A PERFECT EXAMPLE OF NEEDING TO WARN OTHERS!!!!!! GEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5ujxau/last_post_of_batshit/
I have a STRONG feeling that whichever staff person did THIS, they are about to LOSE THEIR JOB!!!! WTF was that staff person THINKING given Bat$hit's track record of violent, suicidal behaviors?!?!?!?!!??!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?
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http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
-
Last night my former sister-in-law called me to wish me a Happy Birthday. (I'm Medicare age now.) During our conversation, she disclosed what my brother did to her years ago, which was his typical Narcissistic behaviors. What made it worse was, when I realized that my NGCB got her drunk and knocked her up while they were dating, essentially he RAPED her!!!! Psycho NWomb-Donor taught Psycho NGCB to think and behave that way! NAUSEATING!!!!
:evil:
-
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/emotional-freedom/201506/4-steps-leave-narcissist
I think this is why I felt like a heavy load fell off my shoulders when I gave Mr. Idiot his walking papers and told him to "Hit the road, Jack, and don't you come back no more, no more, no more, no more!" as in the Ray Charles song.
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5x4pjo/announcement_about_the_toaster_saga/
My jaw is on the floor!!!! I just can't even fathom WHY anyone would go this far to FAKE stuff in order to gain sympathy! I just can't!
:shock:
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence.html
-
Saw the following saying on Reddit:
"It's easier to dump a mama's boy than to divorce a mama's boy, and both of those are easier than trying to change a mama's boy. ~/u/pastelegg"
I'm wondering if those who behave like "Peter Pan" without their mamas being around could be considered in the same category as a mama's boy?
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5yc1u8/jnmil_fil_in_the_wildim_an_eavesdropper/?sort=new&sh=e3d6b9e9&st=j01pdlni
The fallout from THIS is NOT going to be pretty!!!! :shock:
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5y9a4h/quick_update_on_sam_aka_liar_liar_pants_on_fire/?sort=new
Wait......these N-MORONS hire an attorney and NEGLECTED to tell said-attorney that there is AN ACTIVE RESTRAINING/PROTECTIVE ORDER in place?!?!? I bet that attorney just about $hit a brick when s/he realized that they are now in DEEP TROUBLE with the courts FOR VIOLATING A COURT ORDER by being an unwitting flying monkey!!!!
-
https://www.creators.com/read/at-work-lindsey-novak
Today's letter articulates a PROFOUND concept!
-
I'm so DISGUSTED!!!
I started to write out some stuff, the computer blips on me and IT ALL DISAPPEARS!!!! DAMMIT!!!!! :P
-
I go to my Facebook business page to do some posting and get hit with this in my Message section:
"I see that you don't have a public tree therefore aren't willing to share your work."
This came from a TOXIC N relative who must have been trying to check out, (more accurately, STALK), my Ancestry account. I didn't bother to reply, just instantly BANNED the B!TCH!
FWIW, I AM willing to share my work...I am VERY PARTICULAR who I share my work with! If you ask nicely, no problem! Come at me with an ATTITUDE like this N just did and the N + ATTITUDE will be ejected out the nearest airlock!
My past experiences with this particular bunch, who unfortunately share my DNA, have NEVER been pleasant! I can understand them hating NWomb-Donor and my father for getting married back in 1934. (I wasn't born until about two decades later so I was NOT involved with their extramarital affair that led to my Dad divorcing his first wife during the Depression Era.) Now that NWomb-Donor and my father are dead and gone, it seems that these N's have turned their laser-hatred on me and I have NOT spoken with them frequently BECAUSE of their unpleasantness! Who wants to be around THAT?!?!?!? When I first started my genealogy research, before the Internet became easily available, my research was on paper...birth certificates, death certificates, marriage licenses, copies of wills, etc. THAT I PAID FOR! These N's DEMANDED that I hand EVERYTHING over to THEM because, in THEIR view, I was NOT allowed to have it!!! (As if I'm NOT allowed to be related to them in any way, shape, or form!) They got told "NO!" so their attitude has gotten snottier ever since.
The N who sent me that message on Facebook has been NASTY every single time she has contacted me. She needs to knock it off!!!
UPDATE: The N who sent me that message has been BLOCKED on Facebook and I've also contacted Ancestry regarding the situation in case these dingbats attempted to contact me again. The Ancestry folks explained how I can also block on Ancestry Messenger, which I've done.
Today, I get an e-mail from a paternal cousin asking me to assist someone who contacted him. As soon as I saw the name of the individual who contacted this paternal cousin, my reaction was "OH $H!T!!!" It was the same N who was obnoxious to me on Facebook! This poor cousin had NO idea about this mess as I had never mentioned it to him so I had to gently explain why I was not going to be replying to this individual.
Yeah, I was cringing!!! I HATE family dysfunction!
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence.html
-
https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence.html
-
This was in today's "Dear Annie":
"Dear Annie: My mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease five years ago. In the beginning, it was just small stuff, such as forgetting that she had told the same story to us five times or using her lipstick as eyeliner. About a year ago, it got really bad. My dad told me that she would get up in the middle of the night and take out the car. One night, around 3 in the morning, he got a call from a gas station. The attendant said that there was a lady there who didn't know where she was.
After the middle-of-the-night scare, my father decided it was time to put her under professional care. We researched all the facilities and found the best one. Though it is a great deal of money for us, the care the facility provides seems top-notch.
The other night, my dad and I took my mom out to dinner and then went back to the home where she is staying. She sang nursery songs the whole ride back from the restaurant and seemed in good spirits. When we were saying goodbye (not sure she remembered who I was), she began to cry. She didn't understand why she couldn't go home with my dad. She became very upset and said, "But he is my husband. I love him. I want to sleep next to him." My dad was holding back tears and said very calmly, "No, this is your home now. You have to go to your room." The nurses told my dad and me to leave and said they would take care of her. It was so sad to watch. Were the nurses right, or should we have taken her back with us? — Daughter in Distress"
Having had the experience of caring for a patient with Alzheimer's, I know that this mother is in the best of care in the facility where she is now. Once Sun-downing sets in and the Alzheimer's patient starts to wander off while everyone else is sleeping is when the situation can become fatal for the patient. I understand the daughter's distress and, at the same time, with the way health insurance is set up, it can become prohibitively expensive to have round-the-clock nursing care inside a private home, especially if there is only one nurse on duty, s/he takes a bathroom break and, in the blink of an eye, the Alzheimer's patient is out the door or setting something on fire on the stove. I think the daughter would benefit becoming involved with a support group for families of Alzheimer's patients so that she knows she is not alone with the emotions she is experiencing.
-
https://www.creators.com/read/at-work-lindsey-novak
-
Potential Trigger Warning:
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/5zn5nr/mil_in_the_wild_youre_such_a_bad_little_girl/
This Insane Granny DEFINITELY has dived over the cliff!!!!
-
Trigger Warning!!!
This shows how PSYCHO N's can get!!!!!
https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/comments/5hvjv7/she_broke_into_my_house_destroyed_my_belongings/
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2017/3/22/0/mom-must-bear-son-in-law-for-the#disqus-comments
I think this letter is going to show up in JNMIL in 3.....2.....1........
-
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2017/3/27/1/pet-sitting-dad-finds-more-than-cats#disqus-comments
I remember reading in a thread in JNMIL about a NOSEY mother-in-law who kept insisting on SNOOPING every single time she visited while pretending she needed to use the restroom. One day, the son and daughter-in-law deliberately placed sex toys, lube, etc. on their bed, then sat back and waited while Ms. SNOOP announced she needed to go use the restroom during her latest visit. True to form, they heard her open their bedroom door then heard it slam shut in a hurry. Ms. SNOOP came rushing back downstairs looking flustered while the son and daughter-in-law were barely able to keep a straight face! FUNNY AS HELL!!!
I think this pet-sitting dad is being Mr. SNOOP and this married couple deliberately left the sex toy out in the open to give Mr. SNOOP the message that he has NO business snooping through their bedroom while he is supposed to be PET-SITTING!!!!!
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/62c155/why_are_some_mothers_so_viciously_cruel_to_their/
-
I go to my Facebook business page to do some posting and get hit with this in my Message section:
"I see that you don't have a public tree therefore aren't willing to share your work."
This came from a TOXIC N relative who must have been trying to check out, (more accurately, STALK), my Ancestry account. I didn't bother to reply, just instantly BANNED the B!TCH!
FWIW, I AM willing to share my work...I am VERY PARTICULAR who I share my work with! If you ask nicely, no problem! Come at me with an ATTITUDE like this N just did and the N + ATTITUDE will be ejected out the nearest airlock!
My past experiences with this particular bunch, who unfortunately share my DNA, have NEVER been pleasant! I can understand them hating NWomb-Donor and my father for getting married back in 1934. (I wasn't born until about two decades later so I was NOT involved with their extramarital affair that led to my Dad divorcing his first wife during the Depression Era.) Now that NWomb-Donor and my father are dead and gone, it seems that these N's have turned their laser-hatred on me and I have NOT spoken with them frequently BECAUSE of their unpleasantness! Who wants to be around THAT?!?!?!? When I first started my genealogy research, before the Internet became easily available, my research was on paper...birth certificates, death certificates, marriage licenses, copies of wills, etc. THAT I PAID FOR! These N's DEMANDED that I hand EVERYTHING over to THEM because, in THEIR view, I was NOT allowed to have it!!! (As if I'm NOT allowed to be related to them in any way, shape, or form!) They got told "NO!" so their attitude has gotten snottier ever since.
The N who sent me that message on Facebook has been NASTY every single time she has contacted me. She needs to knock it off!!!
UPDATE: The N who sent me that message has been BLOCKED on Facebook and I've also contacted Ancestry regarding the situation in case these dingbats attempted to contact me again. The Ancestry folks explained how I can also block on Ancestry Messenger, which I've done.
Today, I get an e-mail from a paternal cousin asking me to assist someone who contacted him. As soon as I saw the name of the individual who contacted this paternal cousin, my reaction was "OH $H!T!!!" It was the same N who was obnoxious to me on Facebook! This poor cousin had NO idea about this mess as I had never mentioned it to him so I had to gently explain why I was not going to be replying to this individual.
Yeah, I was cringing!!! I HATE family dysfunction!
(((((((((((((Bones))))))))))))))))))) I've been a bit neglectful of other people's threads recently and I'm starting to read through stuff now. Your family are such a weight! It's so hard when you do what you can to extricate yourself but they still keep knocking on that door. Thank goodness for blocking facilities. I do think social media has made more people think that everything should be shared for free, but as you say, it's your time and money, you doing all the work, there's no reason why you should lay it out there for anyone to take (especially as your relatives will probably just find something horrible to do with it!). I watched a video blog by someone who does healing and angel readings, that sort of thing. She was explaining why she was going to stop posting free readings and doing free healing sessions (which she did so that those on low incomes could access them) because what she asked people to do was to write or express their experience in some way on her website and people weren't doing it - lining up to take the freebie but couldn't find two minutes to say thank you afterwards. There are some doofuses about :) xx
-
I go to my Facebook business page to do some posting and get hit with this in my Message section:
"I see that you don't have a public tree therefore aren't willing to share your work."
This came from a TOXIC N relative who must have been trying to check out, (more accurately, STALK), my Ancestry account. I didn't bother to reply, just instantly BANNED the B!TCH!
FWIW, I AM willing to share my work...I am VERY PARTICULAR who I share my work with! If you ask nicely, no problem! Come at me with an ATTITUDE like this N just did and the N + ATTITUDE will be ejected out the nearest airlock!
My past experiences with this particular bunch, who unfortunately share my DNA, have NEVER been pleasant! I can understand them hating NWomb-Donor and my father for getting married back in 1934. (I wasn't born until about two decades later so I was NOT involved with their extramarital affair that led to my Dad divorcing his first wife during the Depression Era.) Now that NWomb-Donor and my father are dead and gone, it seems that these N's have turned their laser-hatred on me and I have NOT spoken with them frequently BECAUSE of their unpleasantness! Who wants to be around THAT?!?!?!? When I first started my genealogy research, before the Internet became easily available, my research was on paper...birth certificates, death certificates, marriage licenses, copies of wills, etc. THAT I PAID FOR! These N's DEMANDED that I hand EVERYTHING over to THEM because, in THEIR view, I was NOT allowed to have it!!! (As if I'm NOT allowed to be related to them in any way, shape, or form!) They got told "NO!" so their attitude has gotten snottier ever since.
The N who sent me that message on Facebook has been NASTY every single time she has contacted me. She needs to knock it off!!!
UPDATE: The N who sent me that message has been BLOCKED on Facebook and I've also contacted Ancestry regarding the situation in case these dingbats attempted to contact me again. The Ancestry folks explained how I can also block on Ancestry Messenger, which I've done.
Today, I get an e-mail from a paternal cousin asking me to assist someone who contacted him. As soon as I saw the name of the individual who contacted this paternal cousin, my reaction was "OH $H!T!!!" It was the same N who was obnoxious to me on Facebook! This poor cousin had NO idea about this mess as I had never mentioned it to him so I had to gently explain why I was not going to be replying to this individual.
Yeah, I was cringing!!! I HATE family dysfunction!
(((((((((((((Bones))))))))))))))))))) I've been a bit neglectful of other people's threads recently and I'm starting to read through stuff now. Your family are such a weight! It's so hard when you do what you can to extricate yourself but they still keep knocking on that door. Thank goodness for blocking facilities. I do think social media has made more people think that everything should be shared for free, but as you say, it's your time and money, you doing all the work, there's no reason why you should lay it out there for anyone to take (especially as your relatives will probably just find something horrible to do with it!). I watched a video blog by someone who does healing and angel readings, that sort of thing. She was explaining why she was going to stop posting free readings and doing free healing sessions (which she did so that those on low incomes could access them) because what she asked people to do was to write or express their experience in some way on her website and people weren't doing it - lining up to take the freebie but couldn't find two minutes to say thank you afterwards. There are some doofuses about :) xx
Thanks, (((((((((((Tupp)))))))!
I get so aggravated at these TOXIC A$$WIPE$ when they attempt to contact me. I'm painfully aware of the fact that they NEVER cared about me as a human being and treat me as nothing more than a pile of dog $h!t for their entertainment. I wish they would simply take the hint and leave me the !@#$ ALONE!!!
I think I had already shared about how one of them hacked into my Ancestry account and dumped a bunch of $h!t into my database WITHOUT MY PERMISSION! Excuse me but WTF makes them think that doing THAT is okay in anyone's book?!?!?
-
I go to my Facebook business page to do some posting and get hit with this in my Message section:
"I see that you don't have a public tree therefore aren't willing to share your work."
This came from a TOXIC N relative who must have been trying to check out, (more accurately, STALK), my Ancestry account. I didn't bother to reply, just instantly BANNED the B!TCH!
FWIW, I AM willing to share my work...I am VERY PARTICULAR who I share my work with! If you ask nicely, no problem! Come at me with an ATTITUDE like this N just did and the N + ATTITUDE will be ejected out the nearest airlock!
My past experiences with this particular bunch, who unfortunately share my DNA, have NEVER been pleasant! I can understand them hating NWomb-Donor and my father for getting married back in 1934. (I wasn't born until about two decades later so I was NOT involved with their extramarital affair that led to my Dad divorcing his first wife during the Depression Era.) Now that NWomb-Donor and my father are dead and gone, it seems that these N's have turned their laser-hatred on me and I have NOT spoken with them frequently BECAUSE of their unpleasantness! Who wants to be around THAT?!?!?!? When I first started my genealogy research, before the Internet became easily available, my research was on paper...birth certificates, death certificates, marriage licenses, copies of wills, etc. THAT I PAID FOR! These N's DEMANDED that I hand EVERYTHING over to THEM because, in THEIR view, I was NOT allowed to have it!!! (As if I'm NOT allowed to be related to them in any way, shape, or form!) They got told "NO!" so their attitude has gotten snottier ever since.
The N who sent me that message on Facebook has been NASTY every single time she has contacted me. She needs to knock it off!!!
UPDATE: The N who sent me that message has been BLOCKED on Facebook and I've also contacted Ancestry regarding the situation in case these dingbats attempted to contact me again. The Ancestry folks explained how I can also block on Ancestry Messenger, which I've done.
Today, I get an e-mail from a paternal cousin asking me to assist someone who contacted him. As soon as I saw the name of the individual who contacted this paternal cousin, my reaction was "OH $H!T!!!" It was the same N who was obnoxious to me on Facebook! This poor cousin had NO idea about this mess as I had never mentioned it to him so I had to gently explain why I was not going to be replying to this individual.
Yeah, I was cringing!!! I HATE family dysfunction!
(((((((((((((Bones))))))))))))))))))) I've been a bit neglectful of other people's threads recently and I'm starting to read through stuff now. Your family are such a weight! It's so hard when you do what you can to extricate yourself but they still keep knocking on that door. Thank goodness for blocking facilities. I do think social media has made more people think that everything should be shared for free, but as you say, it's your time and money, you doing all the work, there's no reason why you should lay it out there for anyone to take (especially as your relatives will probably just find something horrible to do with it!). I watched a video blog by someone who does healing and angel readings, that sort of thing. She was explaining why she was going to stop posting free readings and doing free healing sessions (which she did so that those on low incomes could access them) because what she asked people to do was to write or express their experience in some way on her website and people weren't doing it - lining up to take the freebie but couldn't find two minutes to say thank you afterwards. There are some doofuses about :) xx
Thanks, (((((((((((Tupp)))))))!
I get so aggravated at these TOXIC A$$WIPE$ when they attempt to contact me. I'm painfully aware of the fact that they NEVER cared about me as a human being and treat me as nothing more than a pile of dog $h!t for their entertainment. I wish they would simply take the hint and leave me the !@#$ ALONE!!!
I think I had already shared about how one of them hacked into my Ancestry account and dumped a bunch of $h!t into my database WITHOUT MY PERMISSION! Excuse me but WTF makes them think that doing THAT is okay in anyone's book?!?!?
It's the toxicity, isn't it? I've worked really hard to purposely distance and estrange myself from toxic people, mostly because I don't want to have to put time and energy into dealing with them. Keeping them at arm's length isn't always enough, is it, sometimes they just come hammering up that path, lol, and you have no choice but to deal with them again. I hope they leave you alone now, Bonesie, I didn't know they'd hacked your Ancestry account as well! The lack of boundaries with some people has to be seen to be believed sometimes.
-
I go to my Facebook business page to do some posting and get hit with this in my Message section:
"I see that you don't have a public tree therefore aren't willing to share your work."
This came from a TOXIC N relative who must have been trying to check out, (more accurately, STALK), my Ancestry account. I didn't bother to reply, just instantly BANNED the B!TCH!
FWIW, I AM willing to share my work...I am VERY PARTICULAR who I share my work with! If you ask nicely, no problem! Come at me with an ATTITUDE like this N just did and the N + ATTITUDE will be ejected out the nearest airlock!
My past experiences with this particular bunch, who unfortunately share my DNA, have NEVER been pleasant! I can understand them hating NWomb-Donor and my father for getting married back in 1934. (I wasn't born until about two decades later so I was NOT involved with their extramarital affair that led to my Dad divorcing his first wife during the Depression Era.) Now that NWomb-Donor and my father are dead and gone, it seems that these N's have turned their laser-hatred on me and I have NOT spoken with them frequently BECAUSE of their unpleasantness! Who wants to be around THAT?!?!?!? When I first started my genealogy research, before the Internet became easily available, my research was on paper...birth certificates, death certificates, marriage licenses, copies of wills, etc. THAT I PAID FOR! These N's DEMANDED that I hand EVERYTHING over to THEM because, in THEIR view, I was NOT allowed to have it!!! (As if I'm NOT allowed to be related to them in any way, shape, or form!) They got told "NO!" so their attitude has gotten snottier ever since.
The N who sent me that message on Facebook has been NASTY every single time she has contacted me. She needs to knock it off!!!
UPDATE: The N who sent me that message has been BLOCKED on Facebook and I've also contacted Ancestry regarding the situation in case these dingbats attempted to contact me again. The Ancestry folks explained how I can also block on Ancestry Messenger, which I've done.
Today, I get an e-mail from a paternal cousin asking me to assist someone who contacted him. As soon as I saw the name of the individual who contacted this paternal cousin, my reaction was "OH $H!T!!!" It was the same N who was obnoxious to me on Facebook! This poor cousin had NO idea about this mess as I had never mentioned it to him so I had to gently explain why I was not going to be replying to this individual.
Yeah, I was cringing!!! I HATE family dysfunction!
(((((((((((((Bones))))))))))))))))))) I've been a bit neglectful of other people's threads recently and I'm starting to read through stuff now. Your family are such a weight! It's so hard when you do what you can to extricate yourself but they still keep knocking on that door. Thank goodness for blocking facilities. I do think social media has made more people think that everything should be shared for free, but as you say, it's your time and money, you doing all the work, there's no reason why you should lay it out there for anyone to take (especially as your relatives will probably just find something horrible to do with it!). I watched a video blog by someone who does healing and angel readings, that sort of thing. She was explaining why she was going to stop posting free readings and doing free healing sessions (which she did so that those on low incomes could access them) because what she asked people to do was to write or express their experience in some way on her website and people weren't doing it - lining up to take the freebie but couldn't find two minutes to say thank you afterwards. There are some doofuses about :) xx
Thanks, (((((((((((Tupp)))))))!
I get so aggravated at these TOXIC A$$WIPE$ when they attempt to contact me. I'm painfully aware of the fact that they NEVER cared about me as a human being and treat me as nothing more than a pile of dog $h!t for their entertainment. I wish they would simply take the hint and leave me the !@#$ ALONE!!!
I think I had already shared about how one of them hacked into my Ancestry account and dumped a bunch of $h!t into my database WITHOUT MY PERMISSION! Excuse me but WTF makes them think that doing THAT is okay in anyone's book?!?!?
It's the toxicity, isn't it? I've worked really hard to purposely distance and estrange myself from toxic people, mostly because I don't want to have to put time and energy into dealing with them. Keeping them at arm's length isn't always enough, is it, sometimes they just come hammering up that path, lol, and you have no choice but to deal with them again. I hope they leave you alone now, Bonesie, I didn't know they'd hacked your Ancestry account as well! The lack of boundaries with some people has to be seen to be believed sometimes.
Yeah, I know! I wish these toxic folks would keep their poison to themselves!
-
https://theinvisiblescar.wordpress.com/2017/05/01/you-dont-owe-your-toxic-mother-a-card-candy-or-quality-time-on-mothers-day/
For those of us still struggling, even if the TOXIC Egg-Donor/Womb-Donor is DEAD!
-
https://theinvisiblescar.wordpress.com/2017/05/01/you-dont-owe-your-toxic-mother-a-card-candy-or-quality-time-on-mothers-day/
For those of us still struggling, even if the TOXIC Egg-Donor/Womb-Donor is DEAD!
Yes this is so true, Bonesie! I did send my mum a birthday card one year, I think, and I can't remember what happened afterwards but I remember wishing I hadn't bothered. Absolutely no contact has been the only way for us; the tiniest bit of communication and she will use it against you in some way. Very sad. There is a difference between falling out with people and being caught in a toxic relationship. I'm glad the article mentioned people who can work on themselves; that's very true and not eveyone who's had a bad relationship with their mum will be in the same situation that no good will ever come of it, but as many of us know, sometimes the situation is too far along and you can't be the one to keep taking the flak for it.
-
https://theinvisiblescar.wordpress.com/2017/05/01/you-dont-owe-your-toxic-mother-a-card-candy-or-quality-time-on-mothers-day/
For those of us still struggling, even if the TOXIC Egg-Donor/Womb-Donor is DEAD!
Yes this is so true, Bonesie! I did send my mum a birthday card one year, I think, and I can't remember what happened afterwards but I remember wishing I hadn't bothered. Absolutely no contact has been the only way for us; the tiniest bit of communication and she will use it against you in some way. Very sad. There is a difference between falling out with people and being caught in a toxic relationship. I'm glad the article mentioned people who can work on themselves; that's very true and not eveyone who's had a bad relationship with their mum will be in the same situation that no good will ever come of it, but as many of us know, sometimes the situation is too far along and you can't be the one to keep taking the flak for it.
Exactly.
I feel it's healthier to cut toxic people out of our lives.
-
For all of us who are struggling with today:
http://jezebel.com/a-toast-to-all-the-brave-kids-who-broke-up-with-their-t-1702954639?utm_medium=sharefromsite
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It's sad, isn't it? The secure attachment thing makes a lot of sense to me. If you know you have a place of safety whatever happens you're more likely to strike out and take a few risks. Sad that so many relationships are so unhealthy.
How are you doing, Bonesie, how is life treating you? :) xx
-
It's sad, isn't it? The secure attachment thing makes a lot of sense to me. If you know you have a place of safety whatever happens you're more likely to strike out and take a few risks. Sad that so many relationships are so unhealthy.
How are you doing, Bonesie, how is life treating you? :) xx
Thanks, Tupp!
I studied this attachment theory when I was in graduate school so it makes a lot of sense to me too.
Having a rough day today because everywhere I look, all the ads are screaming "Mothers Day" and I HATE being reminded!
-
It's sad, isn't it? The secure attachment thing makes a lot of sense to me. If you know you have a place of safety whatever happens you're more likely to strike out and take a few risks. Sad that so many relationships are so unhealthy.
How are you doing, Bonesie, how is life treating you? :) xx
Thanks, Tupp!
I studied this attachment theory when I was in graduate school so it makes a lot of sense to me too.
Having a rough day today because everywhere I look, all the ads are screaming "Mothers Day" and I HATE being reminded!
Aw, sorry Bonesie, the mass commercialisation doesn't help, something small scale you can avoid but these sorts of things are everywhere and it's so hard to deal with when you're not part of a happy family. I hope it's all over soon, it's silly that we have these days that actually cause a lot of people pain :( xx
-
It's sad, isn't it? The secure attachment thing makes a lot of sense to me. If you know you have a place of safety whatever happens you're more likely to strike out and take a few risks. Sad that so many relationships are so unhealthy.
How are you doing, Bonesie, how is life treating you? :) xx
Thanks, Tupp!
I studied this attachment theory when I was in graduate school so it makes a lot of sense to me too.
Having a rough day today because everywhere I look, all the ads are screaming "Mothers Day" and I HATE being reminded!
Aw, sorry Bonesie, the mass commercialisation doesn't help, something small scale you can avoid but these sorts of things are everywhere and it's so hard to deal with when you're not part of a happy family. I hope it's all over soon, it's silly that we have these days that actually cause a lot of people pain :( xx
Exactly!
One of my Friends on Facebook accidentally screwed up and wished me a Happy Mother's Day. I had to remind her that I stopped dealing with that a long time ago.
-
Hi Bonesie, how are you doing? Hope okay after all the Mother's Day stuff. Hope life is being kind to you xxx
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Hi Bonesie, how are you doing? Hope okay after all the Mother's Day stuff. Hope life is being kind to you xxx
Thanks, Tupp.
Unfortunately, I've been battling the Big D ... Depression.
-
Hi Bonesie, how are you doing? Hope okay after all the Mother's Day stuff. Hope life is being kind to you xxx
Thanks, Tupp.
Unfortunately, I've been battling the Big D ... Depression.
Aw, Bones, I'm sorry to hear that. Depression is a tough one to manage. Hard work to get through. I hope it starts to lift soon for you.
((((((((((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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Hi Bonesie, how are you doing? Hope okay after all the Mother's Day stuff. Hope life is being kind to you xxx
Thanks, Tupp.
Unfortunately, I've been battling the Big D ... Depression.
Aw, Bones, I'm sorry to hear that. Depression is a tough one to manage. Hard work to get through. I hope it starts to lift soon for you.
((((((((((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Thanks, ((((((((((((((((((Tupp))))))))))))))))))))))))
-
Bonesie I hope you are okay. I miss seeing you on here. I often think about my unknown friend from across the pond :) Much love, Tup xx
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Bonesie I hope you are okay. I miss seeing you on here. I often think about my unknown friend from across the pond :) Much love, Tup xx
Thanks, Tupp.
It seems you are the only one who communicates with me. I'm still struggling with Depression and it's not fun.
-
Aw Bones I'm sorry it is still a problem, depression is such a hard one to deal with, do you find it hard to get motivated? I know that is a problem for me if I feel depressed, such a deep feeling of tiredness that is so hard to shift xx
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Aw Bones I'm sorry it is still a problem, depression is such a hard one to deal with, do you find it hard to get motivated? I know that is a problem for me if I feel depressed, such a deep feeling of tiredness that is so hard to shift xx
Yeah, it's hard to find the energy to get motivated. I get so frustrated with myself.
-
I'm sorry too, (((((((((((Bones)))))))))).
Sending you some Amazonian warrior-woman SUPPORT, as you stare the Big D in the eyeball.
May the Force soon be with you again!
love,
Hops
-
https://theinvisiblescar.wordpress.com/2017/05/01/you-dont-owe-your-toxic-mother-a-card-candy-or-quality-time-on-mothers-day/
Bones, thank you SO much for posting this. I rarely venture onto this thread because, at 533 pages and counting, it can be overwhelming. Just catching up on some reading today, and have gone back several pages here to find this. Wonderful blog! My own depression is lifted (even if temporarily) by reading anything that validates my experience. This is an excellent resource and I feel much better today for having read some of the pages.
Hugs and thanks,
Kathy
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I'm sorry too, (((((((((((Bones)))))))))).
Sending you some Amazonian warrior-woman SUPPORT, as you stare the Big D in the eyeball.
May the Force soon be with you again!
love,
Hops
Thanks.
-
https://theinvisiblescar.wordpress.com/2017/05/01/you-dont-owe-your-toxic-mother-a-card-candy-or-quality-time-on-mothers-day/
Bones, thank you SO much for posting this. I rarely venture onto this thread because, at 533 pages and counting, it can be overwhelming. Just catching up on some reading today, and have gone back several pages here to find this. Wonderful blog! My own depression is lifted (even if temporarily) by reading anything that validates my experience. This is an excellent resource and I feel much better today for having read some of the pages.
Hugs and thanks,
Kathy
You're welcome and thanks, Kathy.
-
Aw Bones I'm sorry it is still a problem, depression is such a hard one to deal with, do you find it hard to get motivated? I know that is a problem for me if I feel depressed, such a deep feeling of tiredness that is so hard to shift xx
Yeah, it's hard to find the energy to get motivated. I get so frustrated with myself.
Argh, it's a cycle, isn't it, we want to feel better, do more and so on but can't quite pull it off and then we get fed up with ourselves for not being able to do it. I hope it starts to lift soon, Bonesie, it's such a tough one to deal with xx
-
Aw Bones I'm sorry it is still a problem, depression is such a hard one to deal with, do you find it hard to get motivated? I know that is a problem for me if I feel depressed, such a deep feeling of tiredness that is so hard to shift xx
Yeah, it's hard to find the energy to get motivated. I get so frustrated with myself.
Argh, it's a cycle, isn't it, we want to feel better, do more and so on but can't quite pull it off and then we get fed up with ourselves for not being able to do it. I hope it starts to lift soon, Bonesie, it's such a tough one to deal with xx
Thanks, Tupp.
What's also adding to my frustration with myself is that I recently got a new book to read and it's gotten buried in the clutter that I can't seem to get ahead of. The more I try to declutter, the more exhausted I get.
-
Aw Bones I'm sorry it is still a problem, depression is such a hard one to deal with, do you find it hard to get motivated? I know that is a problem for me if I feel depressed, such a deep feeling of tiredness that is so hard to shift xx
Yeah, it's hard to find the energy to get motivated. I get so frustrated with myself.
Argh, it's a cycle, isn't it, we want to feel better, do more and so on but can't quite pull it off and then we get fed up with ourselves for not being able to do it. I hope it starts to lift soon, Bonesie, it's such a tough one to deal with xx
Thanks, Tupp.
What's also adding to my frustration with myself is that I recently got a new book to read and it's gotten buried in the clutter that I can't seem to get ahead of. The more I try to declutter, the more exhausted I get.
This is when I wish we knew each other in the real world and that I only lived around the corner as I love decluttering, especially at other people's houses! It's frustrating not being able to help in a practical way. Can you manage the 'ten minutes at a time' approach? I find that helpful when things overwhelm me (which they seem to a lot at times).
(((((((((((((((((((Bonesie)))))))))))))))))))))))))))
-
Aw Bones I'm sorry it is still a problem, depression is such a hard one to deal with, do you find it hard to get motivated? I know that is a problem for me if I feel depressed, such a deep feeling of tiredness that is so hard to shift xx
Yeah, it's hard to find the energy to get motivated. I get so frustrated with myself.
Argh, it's a cycle, isn't it, we want to feel better, do more and so on but can't quite pull it off and then we get fed up with ourselves for not being able to do it. I hope it starts to lift soon, Bonesie, it's such a tough one to deal with xx
Thanks, Tupp.
What's also adding to my frustration with myself is that I recently got a new book to read and it's gotten buried in the clutter that I can't seem to get ahead of. The more I try to declutter, the more exhausted I get.
This is when I wish we knew each other in the real world and that I only lived around the corner as I love decluttering, especially at other people's houses! It's frustrating not being able to help in a practical way. Can you manage the 'ten minutes at a time' approach? I find that helpful when things overwhelm me (which they seem to a lot at times).
(((((((((((((((((((Bonesie)))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Thanks, (((((((((((((((Tupp)))))))))))))))))))))))
I've been trying to clear out trash to the dumpster in small increments since I have to walk down to the far end of the parking lot carrying both a cane plus the trash bags. That gets exhausting after one or two trips.
-
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4626634/The-emotions-feel-mother-loathed-dies.html
For those of us struggling with this.
-
Aw Bones I'm sorry it is still a problem, depression is such a hard one to deal with, do you find it hard to get motivated? I know that is a problem for me if I feel depressed, such a deep feeling of tiredness that is so hard to shift xx
Yeah, it's hard to find the energy to get motivated. I get so frustrated with myself.
Argh, it's a cycle, isn't it, we want to feel better, do more and so on but can't quite pull it off and then we get fed up with ourselves for not being able to do it. I hope it starts to lift soon, Bonesie, it's such a tough one to deal with xx
Thanks, Tupp.
What's also adding to my frustration with myself is that I recently got a new book to read and it's gotten buried in the clutter that I can't seem to get ahead of. The more I try to declutter, the more exhausted I get.
This is when I wish we knew each other in the real world and that I only lived around the corner as I love decluttering, especially at other people's houses! It's frustrating not being able to help in a practical way. Can you manage the 'ten minutes at a time' approach? I find that helpful when things overwhelm me (which they seem to a lot at times).
(((((((((((((((((((Bonesie)))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Thanks, (((((((((((((((Tupp)))))))))))))))))))))))
I've been trying to clear out trash to the dumpster in small increments since I have to walk down to the far end of the parking lot carrying both a cane plus the trash bags. That gets exhausting after one or two trips.
Yep that would be exhausting for anyone, add depression to the mix as well and I think it's pretty amazing that you are managing to do that. We need fairies! Wouldn't it be amazing, do you guys have the children's story of The Elves and The Shoemaker? I always think that's what so many of us need, kind hearted little creatures that come in when you're sleeping and get lots of work done for you :) I hope things get a bit better, Bonesie, it's very hard to manage that sort of thing by yourself xx
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http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4626634/The-emotions-feel-mother-loathed-dies.html
For those of us struggling with this.
Gosh that rang so many bells, particularly when she says that she lost her mum many years before she died. I can remember so clearly just breaking down and sobbing when it finally dawned on me that she was never going to change. That was when I really felt the loss. I can only imagine that I will feel relief when she passes. I've absolutely no intention of going to her funeral, partly because I don't want to say goodbye to her but more because I don't want to have to see all the other family members who enabled her and let her damage her own kids the way that she did and never once stepped in to help or try to give us any kind of alternative.
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Aw Bones I'm sorry it is still a problem, depression is such a hard one to deal with, do you find it hard to get motivated? I know that is a problem for me if I feel depressed, such a deep feeling of tiredness that is so hard to shift xx
Yeah, it's hard to find the energy to get motivated. I get so frustrated with myself.
Argh, it's a cycle, isn't it, we want to feel better, do more and so on but can't quite pull it off and then we get fed up with ourselves for not being able to do it. I hope it starts to lift soon, Bonesie, it's such a tough one to deal with xx
Thanks, Tupp.
What's also adding to my frustration with myself is that I recently got a new book to read and it's gotten buried in the clutter that I can't seem to get ahead of. The more I try to declutter, the more exhausted I get.
This is when I wish we knew each other in the real world and that I only lived around the corner as I love decluttering, especially at other people's houses! It's frustrating not being able to help in a practical way. Can you manage the 'ten minutes at a time' approach? I find that helpful when things overwhelm me (which they seem to a lot at times).
(((((((((((((((((((Bonesie)))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Thanks, (((((((((((((((Tupp)))))))))))))))))))))))
I've been trying to clear out trash to the dumpster in small increments since I have to walk down to the far end of the parking lot carrying both a cane plus the trash bags. That gets exhausting after one or two trips.
Yep that would be exhausting for anyone, add depression to the mix as well and I think it's pretty amazing that you are managing to do that. We need fairies! Wouldn't it be amazing, do you guys have the children's story of The Elves and The Shoemaker? I always think that's what so many of us need, kind hearted little creatures that come in when you're sleeping and get lots of work done for you :) I hope things get a bit better, Bonesie, it's very hard to manage that sort of thing by yourself xx
Thanks, Tupp!
I wish I did have elves to help me.
-
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4626634/The-emotions-feel-mother-loathed-dies.html
For those of us struggling with this.
Gosh that rang so many bells, particularly when she says that she lost her mum many years before she died. I can remember so clearly just breaking down and sobbing when it finally dawned on me that she was never going to change. That was when I really felt the loss. I can only imagine that I will feel relief when she passes. I've absolutely no intention of going to her funeral, partly because I don't want to say goodbye to her but more because I don't want to have to see all the other family members who enabled her and let her damage her own kids the way that she did and never once stepped in to help or try to give us any kind of alternative.
(((((((((((((((((((((((Tupp)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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Bonesie I wish for elves, too! Even if they didn't help it would be nice to have them around :)
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Bones))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) xx
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Bonesie I wish for elves, too! Even if they didn't help it would be nice to have them around :)
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Bones))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) xx
:)
Thanks, (((((((((((((((((((((Tupp)))))))))))))))))))))))))
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Just checking in on you, Bonesie, how are you doing? xxx
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Just checking in on you, Bonesie, how are you doing? xxx
Hi, Tupp.
I'm trying to take things one day at a time.
-
Just checking in on you, Bonesie, how are you doing? xxx
Hi, Tupp.
I'm trying to take things one day at a time.
I'm sorry things are still tough, Bonesie. I'm thinking of you. Lots of love xxx
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Just checking in on you, Bonesie, how are you doing? xxx
Hi, Tupp.
I'm trying to take things one day at a time.
I'm sorry things are still tough, Bonesie. I'm thinking of you. Lots of love xxx
Thanks, (((((((((((((((Tupp)))))))))))))))
-
Found this article through Reddit:
http://www.goyourownway.org/GOYOUROWNWAY/DOCUMENTS/EMOTIONAL%20WELLBEING/EMOTIONAL%20BLACKMAIL.pdf
-
Found this article through Reddit:
http://www.goyourownway.org/GOYOUROWNWAY/DOCUMENTS/EMOTIONAL%20WELLBEING/EMOTIONAL%20BLACKMAIL.pdf
It's nice to see you posting, Bones :) I hope things are starting to pick up a little. I'll have a read through that article later, it looks interesting :) xx
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Found this article through Reddit:
http://www.goyourownway.org/GOYOUROWNWAY/DOCUMENTS/EMOTIONAL%20WELLBEING/EMOTIONAL%20BLACKMAIL.pdf
It's nice to see you posting, Bones :) I hope things are starting to pick up a little. I'll have a read through that article later, it looks interesting :) xx
Thanks, Tupp.
I'm still trying to work through stuff. I had to arrange to get rid of my car for good as I'm no longer in any position to be able to maintain it.
-
Found this article through Reddit:
http://www.goyourownway.org/GOYOUROWNWAY/DOCUMENTS/EMOTIONAL%20WELLBEING/EMOTIONAL%20BLACKMAIL.pdf
It's nice to see you posting, Bones :) I hope things are starting to pick up a little. I'll have a read through that article later, it looks interesting :) xx
Thanks, Tupp.
I'm still trying to work through stuff. I had to arrange to get rid of my car for good as I'm no longer in any position to be able to maintain it.
Cars are such a blessing and a curse, aren't they, so necessary and give you so much independence but also costly to run and difficult to repair yourself if you don't have the skills/tools/time etc. We've had lengthy periods over the years when we didn't have a vehicle and it is something I really miss if/when the time comes. But sometimes it does just get too much to keep one on the road. I'm sorry to hear it has to go (((((((((Bonesie))))))))))) xx
-
Found this article through Reddit:
http://www.goyourownway.org/GOYOUROWNWAY/DOCUMENTS/EMOTIONAL%20WELLBEING/EMOTIONAL%20BLACKMAIL.pdf
It's nice to see you posting, Bones :) I hope things are starting to pick up a little. I'll have a read through that article later, it looks interesting :) xx
Thanks, Tupp.
I'm still trying to work through stuff. I had to arrange to get rid of my car for good as I'm no longer in any position to be able to maintain it.
Cars are such a blessing and a curse, aren't they, so necessary and give you so much independence but also costly to run and difficult to repair yourself if you don't have the skills/tools/time etc. We've had lengthy periods over the years when we didn't have a vehicle and it is something I really miss if/when the time comes. But sometimes it does just get too much to keep one on the road. I'm sorry to hear it has to go (((((((((Bonesie))))))))))) xx
Thanks, (((((((((((Tupp)))))))))))
Between my medical bills, my vision changes that impact my ability to see well enough in traffic, and everything else, I had to yield to the logic of the situation.
-
Found this article through Reddit:
http://www.goyourownway.org/GOYOUROWNWAY/DOCUMENTS/EMOTIONAL%20WELLBEING/EMOTIONAL%20BLACKMAIL.pdf
It's nice to see you posting, Bones :) I hope things are starting to pick up a little. I'll have a read through that article later, it looks interesting :) xx
Thanks, Tupp.
I'm still trying to work through stuff. I had to arrange to get rid of my car for good as I'm no longer in any position to be able to maintain it.
Cars are such a blessing and a curse, aren't they, so necessary and give you so much independence but also costly to run and difficult to repair yourself if you don't have the skills/tools/time etc. We've had lengthy periods over the years when we didn't have a vehicle and it is something I really miss if/when the time comes. But sometimes it does just get too much to keep one on the road. I'm sorry to hear it has to go (((((((((Bonesie))))))))))) xx
Thanks, (((((((((((Tupp)))))))))))
Between my medical bills, my vision changes that impact my ability to see well enough in traffic, and everything else, I had to yield to the logic of the situation.
Yes, I get that, I find driving in the dark difficult these days and can see a time when it really won't be an option anymore. From there, I'm guessing not driving at all is the next step. It's hard giving up the independence but as you say, people need to be sensible, bills need to be paid and none of us wants to cause an accident with our doddery driving! Hugs, Bonesie xx
-
Found this article through Reddit:
http://www.goyourownway.org/GOYOUROWNWAY/DOCUMENTS/EMOTIONAL%20WELLBEING/EMOTIONAL%20BLACKMAIL.pdf
It's nice to see you posting, Bones :) I hope things are starting to pick up a little. I'll have a read through that article later, it looks interesting :) xx
Thanks, Tupp.
I'm still trying to work through stuff. I had to arrange to get rid of my car for good as I'm no longer in any position to be able to maintain it.
Cars are such a blessing and a curse, aren't they, so necessary and give you so much independence but also costly to run and difficult to repair yourself if you don't have the skills/tools/time etc. We've had lengthy periods over the years when we didn't have a vehicle and it is something I really miss if/when the time comes. But sometimes it does just get too much to keep one on the road. I'm sorry to hear it has to go (((((((((Bonesie))))))))))) xx
Thanks, (((((((((((Tupp)))))))))))
Between my medical bills, my vision changes that impact my ability to see well enough in traffic, and everything else, I had to yield to the logic of the situation.
Yes, I get that, I find driving in the dark difficult these days and can see a time when it really won't be an option anymore. From there, I'm guessing not driving at all is the next step. It's hard giving up the independence but as you say, people need to be sensible, bills need to be paid and none of us wants to cause an accident with our doddery driving! Hugs, Bonesie xx
Thanks, Tupp.
I've even told my insurance agent that I don't want to be one of those crazy old farts proclaiming: "I'll stop driving when they pry the car keys from my cold, dead hands." I've encountered one such idiot TWICE when I was still able to drive! That idiot had NO business driving at all!!!!
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I've been doing some research to refresh my memory now that the DSM-5 is out. A recent incident, in my condo meeting, prompted me to search and find this:
https://www.mentalhelp.net/articles/dsm-5-the-ten-personality-disorders-cluster-b/
I won't go into any details yet as the situation is still ongoing with a FULL-BLOWN N!
-
Found this article through Reddit:
http://www.goyourownway.org/GOYOUROWNWAY/DOCUMENTS/EMOTIONAL%20WELLBEING/EMOTIONAL%20BLACKMAIL.pdf
It's nice to see you posting, Bones :) I hope things are starting to pick up a little. I'll have a read through that article later, it looks interesting :) xx
Thanks, Tupp.
I'm still trying to work through stuff. I had to arrange to get rid of my car for good as I'm no longer in any position to be able to maintain it.
Cars are such a blessing and a curse, aren't they, so necessary and give you so much independence but also costly to run and difficult to repair yourself if you don't have the skills/tools/time etc. We've had lengthy periods over the years when we didn't have a vehicle and it is something I really miss if/when the time comes. But sometimes it does just get too much to keep one on the road. I'm sorry to hear it has to go (((((((((Bonesie))))))))))) xx
Thanks, (((((((((((Tupp)))))))))))
Between my medical bills, my vision changes that impact my ability to see well enough in traffic, and everything else, I had to yield to the logic of the situation.
Yes, I get that, I find driving in the dark difficult these days and can see a time when it really won't be an option anymore. From there, I'm guessing not driving at all is the next step. It's hard giving up the independence but as you say, people need to be sensible, bills need to be paid and none of us wants to cause an accident with our doddery driving! Hugs, Bonesie xx
Thanks, Tupp.
I've even told my insurance agent that I don't want to be one of those crazy old farts proclaiming: "I'll stop driving when they pry the car keys from my cold, dead hands." I've encountered one such idiot TWICE when I was still able to drive! That idiot had NO business driving at all!!!!
Ah, Bonesie, I know what you mean, it would be funny if it weren't so dangerous! I love the independence of driving and I know when the time comes to stop I'll feel sad but I'd feel much worse if I killed someone! A friend of mine is going through exactly this with her mum at the moment - she ran someone over and it then turned out she had cataracts and could barely see. They've been operated on so now she wants her licence back. Her eyesight's still not great and she's just getting pretty doddery so it really seems more sensible to use the bus. She lives in a rural area and won't move, so if she can't drive she'll become increasingly housebound. We all hope we'll stay healthy and fully functioning until we just pass quietly in bed but life just isn't like that. I think it's so important to accept our limitations - particularly when they may affect someone else. And sometimes you meet nice people on the bus! Lol. I hope you are doing okay. Lots of love xx
-
Found this article through Reddit:
http://www.goyourownway.org/GOYOUROWNWAY/DOCUMENTS/EMOTIONAL%20WELLBEING/EMOTIONAL%20BLACKMAIL.pdf
It's nice to see you posting, Bones :) I hope things are starting to pick up a little. I'll have a read through that article later, it looks interesting :) xx
Thanks, Tupp.
I'm still trying to work through stuff. I had to arrange to get rid of my car for good as I'm no longer in any position to be able to maintain it.
Cars are such a blessing and a curse, aren't they, so necessary and give you so much independence but also costly to run and difficult to repair yourself if you don't have the skills/tools/time etc. We've had lengthy periods over the years when we didn't have a vehicle and it is something I really miss if/when the time comes. But sometimes it does just get too much to keep one on the road. I'm sorry to hear it has to go (((((((((Bonesie))))))))))) xx
Thanks, (((((((((((Tupp)))))))))))
Between my medical bills, my vision changes that impact my ability to see well enough in traffic, and everything else, I had to yield to the logic of the situation.
Yes, I get that, I find driving in the dark difficult these days and can see a time when it really won't be an option anymore. From there, I'm guessing not driving at all is the next step. It's hard giving up the independence but as you say, people need to be sensible, bills need to be paid and none of us wants to cause an accident with our doddery driving! Hugs, Bonesie xx
Thanks, Tupp.
I've even told my insurance agent that I don't want to be one of those crazy old farts proclaiming: "I'll stop driving when they pry the car keys from my cold, dead hands." I've encountered one such idiot TWICE when I was still able to drive! That idiot had NO business driving at all!!!!
Ah, Bonesie, I know what you mean, it would be funny if it weren't so dangerous! I love the independence of driving and I know when the time comes to stop I'll feel sad but I'd feel much worse if I killed someone! A friend of mine is going through exactly this with her mum at the moment - she ran someone over and it then turned out she had cataracts and could barely see. They've been operated on so now she wants her licence back. Her eyesight's still not great and she's just getting pretty doddery so it really seems more sensible to use the bus. She lives in a rural area and won't move, so if she can't drive she'll become increasingly housebound. We all hope we'll stay healthy and fully functioning until we just pass quietly in bed but life just isn't like that. I think it's so important to accept our limitations - particularly when they may affect someone else. And sometimes you meet nice people on the bus! Lol. I hope you are doing okay. Lots of love xx
Thanks, Tupp!
I remember when the mother of NDoofus was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, she was hell-bent to keep driving! We had to take the car keys away from her and put the car out of her reach! Boy, did she throw one hellacious TANTRUM!!!! It was NOT pretty!
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Argh, I can imagine! I'm hoping to get myself into an organised kind of space before my bits and pieces start to conk out - a small place within walking distance of shops and plenty of activities, a good bus service and a train station for venturing further afield. My friend's nan is suffering terribly with loneliness (she's in her 90s) and it's making her ill, but she won't move. She's much loved and has a large family who all visit as much as they can but she's over an hour's drive from the nearest relative so she's on her own a lot. They've shown her some retirement apartments in town, much closer to all of them plus there's a lot more going on, lots of neighbours her age and a warden on site in case of emergency but she won't budge. Some people are their own worst enemies! x
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Argh, I can imagine! I'm hoping to get myself into an organised kind of space before my bits and pieces start to conk out - a small place within walking distance of shops and plenty of activities, a good bus service and a train station for venturing further afield. My friend's nan is suffering terribly with loneliness (she's in her 90s) and it's making her ill, but she won't move. She's much loved and has a large family who all visit as much as they can but she's over an hour's drive from the nearest relative so she's on her own a lot. They've shown her some retirement apartments in town, much closer to all of them plus there's a lot more going on, lots of neighbours her age and a warden on site in case of emergency but she won't budge. Some people are their own worst enemies! x
Unfortunately, yes.
I'm trying to age in place where I am given that I have no family to look to.
-
TRIGGER WARNING!!!!!
https://thoughtcatalog.com/shahida-arabi/2016/06/20-diversion-tactics-highly-manipulative-narcissists-sociopaths-and-psychopaths-use-to-silence-you/
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TRIGGER WARNING!!!!!
https://thoughtcatalog.com/shahida-arabi/2016/06/20-diversion-tactics-highly-manipulative-narcissists-sociopaths-and-psychopaths-use-to-silence-you/
Gosh, that's a good article, Bonesie, makes me want to read that book! It's funny but I still don't like to acknowledge that my mum is all of those things. I read each bit and a personal example popped into my head with each section and I still find it shocks me that she is that abusive. Isn't it funny? I liked the fact that they state it's important to cut ties as soon as you realise what's happening (I think it was the second point) as often cutting off contact is seen as a last resort and there's a lot of advice to try and 'sort things out' first (which can be very difficult to manage).
How are things going with you? xx
-
TRIGGER WARNING!!!!!
https://thoughtcatalog.com/shahida-arabi/2016/06/20-diversion-tactics-highly-manipulative-narcissists-sociopaths-and-psychopaths-use-to-silence-you/
Gosh, that's a good article, Bonesie, makes me want to read that book! It's funny but I still don't like to acknowledge that my mum is all of those things. I read each bit and a personal example popped into my head with each section and I still find it shocks me that she is that abusive. Isn't it funny? I liked the fact that they state it's important to cut ties as soon as you realise what's happening (I think it was the second point) as often cutting off contact is seen as a last resort and there's a lot of advice to try and 'sort things out' first (which can be very difficult to manage).
How are things going with you? xx
Thanks, Tupp.
I'm still trying to take things one day at a time now that I've gotten rid of my car. I'm still adjusting to the "new normal".
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I quite like not using the car when the weather's nice - people are happier, you can sit in the sun while you wait for the bus and chat and it's nice. But come winter I don't enjoy it so much. What is the transport like in your area, Bonesie? Where I live it's pretty hit and miss. The buses are fairly regular but the connections aren't good, so if you want to travel further afield and need to change you spend more time at the bus stop than you do on the bus. We went to the coast last weekend - three trains - and the amount of time we spent at the stations was more than the actual train rides took. I think I spent almost as much on coffee as I did on train tickets :0
I hope the adjusting goes okay. It takes time for our brains to catch up, I think (or at least it does for me!).
Love Tupp xx
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I quite like not using the car when the weather's nice - people are happier, you can sit in the sun while you wait for the bus and chat and it's nice. But come winter I don't enjoy it so much. What is the transport like in your area, Bonesie? Where I live it's pretty hit and miss. The buses are fairly regular but the connections aren't good, so if you want to travel further afield and need to change you spend more time at the bus stop than you do on the bus. We went to the coast last weekend - three trains - and the amount of time we spent at the stations was more than the actual train rides took. I think I spent almost as much on coffee as I did on train tickets :0
I hope the adjusting goes okay. It takes time for our brains to catch up, I think (or at least it does for me!).
Love Tupp xx
Thanks, Tupp!
Where I live, we have both buses and subway stations. I have to figure out their schedules if I want to get from Point A to Point B.
At the moment, I'm researching into a possible job opportunity....looking at the pros and cons.
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I can share some good news today...
As of August 5, 2017, I have officially become a member of the DAR.
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I can share some good news today...
As of August 5, 2017, I have officially become a member of the DAR.
Bonesie, I am very happy to read your good news :) But what is the DAR? :) xx
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I can share some good news today...
As of August 5, 2017, I have officially become a member of the DAR.
Bonesie, I am very happy to read your good news :) But what is the DAR? :) xx
LOL!!!
The DAR is the Daughters of the American Revolution.
I guess you could say that the American Revolution was an early version of Brexit.
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Oh wow, that sounds amazing, I will have to look it up! I'm very happy for you Bonesie, and I have learnt something new today as well lol xx
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Oh wow, that sounds amazing, I will have to look it up! I'm very happy for you Bonesie, and I have learnt something new today as well lol xx
Thanks!
It took a lot of work and a lot of research to connect all the dots.
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Oh wow, that sounds amazing, I will have to look it up! I'm very happy for you Bonesie, and I have learnt something new today as well lol xx
Thanks!
It took a lot of work and a lot of research to connect all the dots.
Bonesie, I looked it up, oh my word! What an amazing group and how incredible that you found that connection! Yep I bet that was a lot of work, but what a result. Can you say what the connection is? I appreciate it might give too much info away online so understand you might not be able to. I am so impressed! Well done you xx
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Oh wow, that sounds amazing, I will have to look it up! I'm very happy for you Bonesie, and I have learnt something new today as well lol xx
Thanks!
It took a lot of work and a lot of research to connect all the dots.
Bonesie, I looked it up, oh my word! What an amazing group and how incredible that you found that connection! Yep I bet that was a lot of work, but what a result. Can you say what the connection is? I appreciate it might give too much info away online so understand you might not be able to. I am so impressed! Well done you xx
Thanks!
When a couple of my cousins researched and published a book on my Dad's family, I learned that I had two possible Patriots among my direct ancestors. It took several years to track down the documents that DAR requires to prove the connections between the two Patriots and me. I just wish my Dad was still alive. I think he would have enjoyed becoming a Son of the American Revolution.
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That's amazing, Bonesie, aw that is a shame that your dad didn't get to see that connection made, it's nice when you find something lovely in your past. I've always been a bit scared to dig too deeply, I'm convinced I'm going to find I'm related to a serial killer or something hideous like that. A friend of mine found out his ancestors were pirates which was quite exciting (and funnily enough he does actually look a bit like Captain Jack Sparrow :) ) It amazes me that documents survive as long as they do and that they're detailed enough for people generations away to make the links. Well done you, that's an amazing bit of family history to be proud of :) xx
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That's amazing, Bonesie, aw that is a shame that your dad didn't get to see that connection made, it's nice when you find something lovely in your past. I've always been a bit scared to dig too deeply, I'm convinced I'm going to find I'm related to a serial killer or something hideous like that. A friend of mine found out his ancestors were pirates which was quite exciting (and funnily enough he does actually look a bit like Captain Jack Sparrow :) ) It amazes me that documents survive as long as they do and that they're detailed enough for people generations away to make the links. Well done you, that's an amazing bit of family history to be proud of :) xx
Thanks, Tupp!!!
Funnily enough, Johnny Depp is one of my distant cousins through a Colonial connection. Shades of Captain Jack Sparrow! :D
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I was chatting on Facebook and one of the folks shared this experience that just CRACKED ME UP!
"(Names) were stopped by 2 guys up at the Marina in Havre de Grace. They were very polite and were taking a "survey" to see who could answer some questions about the Bible. For fun I decided to play alone. Being a daughter of a Sunday school teacher pays off. They were surprised I knew the answers to their questions. Lol. Me too actually because its been over 25 years. On occasion I don't mind talking. I never go into great detail about my beliefs but I usually give them something to think about. Once in awhile I'll even talk to the Jehovah Witnesses if they stop by and I have time. They did stop coming by for awhile after I answered the door with a snake around my neck, 2 black cats in the window and Slayer on the stereo. I really don't know why they jumped off the porch. I mean I was only in the middle of cleaning the snake tank."
She described their facial expressions, as well as their quick reactions, as EPIC!!!
:lol:
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Ha ha, imagine someone answering the door with a snake wrapped round their neck! I would run a mile, lol. And how amazing to be related to Johnny Depp! I do wonder how related we all are to each other sometimes. So interesting to know all of this stuff, Bonesie, you must be very good at doing through all the information and finding out what you need to know xx
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Ha ha, imagine someone answering the door with a snake wrapped round their neck! I would run a mile, lol. And how amazing to be related to Johnny Depp! I do wonder how related we all are to each other sometimes. So interesting to know all of this stuff, Bonesie, you must be very good at doing through all the information and finding out what you need to know xx
Thanks, Tupp!
When I read the description of how these JW's jumped off the porch, I CACKLED!!!!
Genealogy is so much FUN! I love solving puzzles and mysteries and genealogy is a combination of that.
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I've been reading some threads in Reddit about N's and thought I might try to organize some of the traits I'm seeing:
Nosy
Infantilizing
Constantly playing Snatch and Grab with their Adult Children's possessions and families
The Golden Child/Scape Goat dynamics, even abusing the Grandchildren with this crap!
(I'll probably add more as I spot them.)
-
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/family/2013/02/abusive_parents_what_do_grown_children_owe_the_mothers_and_fathers_who_made.html?wpsrc=sh_all_mob_fb_top
=========================================
Interesting article.
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/family/2013/02/abusive_parents_what_do_grown_children_owe_the_mothers_and_fathers_who_made.html?wpsrc=sh_all_mob_fb_top
=========================================
Interesting article.
I'll have a read of that later, Bonesie. Personally I don't feel that I owe my mum anything. Had she made the smallest effort to change her behaviour I'd feel differently. It's funny that no-one thinks anyone should stay with an abusive partner, or that adults abusing children is okay, but for some reason so many think adult children should put up with it? Just yesterday I was thinking how different our weekends would be if we had loving family to visit or spend time with. It's sad but abuse is abuse, however it comes, but I think there's still a feeling in some places that you should take whatever a parent gives out :( x
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/family/2013/02/abusive_parents_what_do_grown_children_owe_the_mothers_and_fathers_who_made.html?wpsrc=sh_all_mob_fb_top
=========================================
Interesting article.
I'll have a read of that later, Bonesie. Personally I don't feel that I owe my mum anything. Had she made the smallest effort to change her behaviour I'd feel differently. It's funny that no-one thinks anyone should stay with an abusive partner, or that adults abusing children is okay, but for some reason so many think adult children should put up with it? Just yesterday I was thinking how different our weekends would be if we had loving family to visit or spend time with. It's sad but abuse is abuse, however it comes, but I think there's still a feeling in some places that you should take whatever a parent gives out :( x
I know the feeling!
It's aggravating when idiots start cranking up the crap of: "But, but, buuutttt FAAAAMMIILLY!!" That's when I start dropping F-Bombs!
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/family/2013/02/abusive_parents_what_do_grown_children_owe_the_mothers_and_fathers_who_made.html?wpsrc=sh_all_mob_fb_top
=========================================
Interesting article.
I'll have a read of that later, Bonesie. Personally I don't feel that I owe my mum anything. Had she made the smallest effort to change her behaviour I'd feel differently. It's funny that no-one thinks anyone should stay with an abusive partner, or that adults abusing children is okay, but for some reason so many think adult children should put up with it? Just yesterday I was thinking how different our weekends would be if we had loving family to visit or spend time with. It's sad but abuse is abuse, however it comes, but I think there's still a feeling in some places that you should take whatever a parent gives out :( x
I know the feeling!
It's aggravating when idiots start cranking up the crap of: "But, but, buuutttt FAAAAMMIILLY!!" That's when I start dropping F-Bombs!
Ha ha, Bonesie, you drop the best F bombs :) xx
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http://www.slate.com/articles/life/family/2013/02/abusive_parents_what_do_grown_children_owe_the_mothers_and_fathers_who_made.html?wpsrc=sh_all_mob_fb_top
=========================================
Interesting article.
I'll have a read of that later, Bonesie. Personally I don't feel that I owe my mum anything. Had she made the smallest effort to change her behaviour I'd feel differently. It's funny that no-one thinks anyone should stay with an abusive partner, or that adults abusing children is okay, but for some reason so many think adult children should put up with it? Just yesterday I was thinking how different our weekends would be if we had loving family to visit or spend time with. It's sad but abuse is abuse, however it comes, but I think there's still a feeling in some places that you should take whatever a parent gives out :( x
I know the feeling!
It's aggravating when idiots start cranking up the crap of: "But, but, buuutttt FAAAAMMIILLY!!" That's when I start dropping F-Bombs!
Ha ha, Bonesie, you drop the best F bombs :) xx
:)
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Feeling slightly paranoid at the moment.
To give a bit of background and, unfortunately, it's long:
My late half-sister's descendants have always treated me as if I was $h!t on their shoe. Ever since I was a little kid, I always tried to be family to them and got nasty rebuffs as a result. One incident, that was the beginning of the end, was right after egg-donor died.
I was aware that my half-sister's descendants HATED my Dad and NWomb-donor. Now that the N was dead and rotting in H3LL, and my Dad being long-dead for several decades, these "descendants" no longer had a viable target for their hate. I tried to mend the rift and ended up being the new target instead...which included their DEMAND that I hand over genealogy documents, THAT I PAID FOR, because in THEIR opinion, I shouldn't be ALLOWED to have them! I stopped having anything more to do with them after that.
Fast forward a couple of years, I get a polite e-mail asking for information. As soon as the sender realized who I am, she got NASTY and started cranking up the toxic $h!t again, which resulted in her getting blocked via e-mail.
Fast forward a few more years, I set up my genealogy information on Ancestry but I set my tree to private. Shortly AFTER I had set my tree to private, my account got hacked and a LOT of unverified CRAP was dumped into my database WITHOUT MY PERMISSION! (Yeah, I was LIVID about having my research F**KED with!) I notified Ancestry about the hack and the hacker was located...one of those "descendants"! His account got suspended because he violated Ancestry's rules. The moment his suspension was lifted, he immediately contacted me...wanting to access my account AGAIN! He got a SWIFT NO!
In 2014, the last remaining sibling died and I did what I thought was right and notified the "descendants" about my brother's death. All I got back was crickets. So I decided to let go of my last remaining effort to maintain contact and stopped sending the sole Christmas card to one of them.
This past year, I got a NASTY communication on Facebook from one of the "descendants", throwing flying monkey $h!t about how SELFISH I am because I have my tree set to private and that I have NO right to privacy! That little b!tch got IMMEDIATELY BLOCKED!
Then a few months ago, one of my second cousins emailed me about a strange communication he received from a total stranger asking for family information. He knows that I'm the Family Historian and asked me if I would reply. I was willing to do so until I saw who had contacted him....the NASTY little b!tch who threw monkey $h!t on Facebook! I had to diplomatically explain why I was NOT going to be contacting that inDUHvidual!
Finally, a couple of weeks ago, I get a strange e-mail from some dude...using my formal name, trying to get all cozy with me. The only folks who insist on using my formal name are....the "descendants". The stranger also got immediately BLOCKED!
This uptick in contacting attempts from this bunch is irritating!
I have NO interest in having anything more to do with them. They have NEVER treated me like family so they need to get the message and F**K OFF!!!!
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They sound horrible, Bonesie, I think you're right to keep away from them. Why can't they do the research themselves instead of helping themselves to yours? Is it just laziness on their part because you've already done all the work?
I always find it weird how some people are more interested in their dead relatives than their living ones. A friend of mine comes from a large family (six brothers, two sisters) and the dad is estranged from all but one of the kids. All of the kids, as adults and with children of their own, has reached out to him as they wanted their kids to have the chance to have a grandfather but he's not reciprocated. Yet he spends all his free time researching the family history - he's gone back generations and has travelled far and wide to view original documents and records that are hundreds of years old - but he ignores his own children and won't make the fifteen minute journey needed to visit any of them (or arrange for them to visit him).
It just made me think of that as I read about your unpleasant relatives. If they'd been nice they could have had a relationship with you, their living relative, and maybe worked on the family history together. But instead they're nasty and just try to nick your work or bully you into handing it over. Wtf?
I hope you are okay xx
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They sound horrible, Bonesie, I think you're right to keep away from them. Why can't they do the research themselves instead of helping themselves to yours? Is it just laziness on their part because you've already done all the work?
I always find it weird how some people are more interested in their dead relatives than their living ones. A friend of mine comes from a large family (six brothers, two sisters) and the dad is estranged from all but one of the kids. All of the kids, as adults and with children of their own, has reached out to him as they wanted their kids to have the chance to have a grandfather but he's not reciprocated. Yet he spends all his free time researching the family history - he's gone back generations and has travelled far and wide to view original documents and records that are hundreds of years old - but he ignores his own children and won't make the fifteen minute journey needed to visit any of them (or arrange for them to visit him).
It just made me think of that as I read about your unpleasant relatives. If they'd been nice they could have had a relationship with you, their living relative, and maybe worked on the family history together. But instead they're nasty and just try to nick your work or bully you into handing it over. Wtf?
I hope you are okay xx
Thanks, Tupp.
I've reached the point where I'm no longer interested in having anything to do with them. After decades of their $h!t, I'm DONE! As for my genealogy work, I think they're both lazy and greedy! In their f**Ked up minds, I'm NOT ALLOWED to be related to them and they think they are entitled to my research. F**K THAT NOISE!!!!
The reason I got started on genealogy was to find out about my Dad. The LYING NWomb-Donor tried her damnedest to cut us off from Dad's family because she was a racist. (Imagine dealing with a female version of Drumpf growing up! PUKE!) Through my research, I was able to find and reunite with Dad's relatives, including attending my first family reunion. I had NO idea how HUGE my Dad's family is and all the surprising historical connections that go back to when my state was first being colonized! I also discovered several cousins who are celebrities in their own right and have communicated with them. Last, but not least, being able to prove that I am a direct descendant of a Revolutionary Patriot or two and being accepted into the DAR. I have a feeling that as soon as those clowns find out, via the grapevine, they're probably going to be PISSED OFF!!! Do I care about their hissy fits? NO!
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I was reading the JNMIL subreddit and spotted the following in a thread about an N named "Momma Ostrich.
Her Modus Operandi was as follows:
1.Find church
2.Become obsessed
3.Convince church of her victimhood
4.Volunteer for all the things!
5.Get money or some benefit from church
6.Start fucking up volunteer duties
7.Blame everything else but herself
8.Cry victim when church calls her out
9.Threaten to find new church
10.When nobody believes her shit any more, find new church
I might have mentioned, in my previous postings about an N I used to sublet an apartment from. The above list reminded me of her behaviors. When I first met her, she was a Lutheran and was very active in the Lutheran church. After I started subletting her apartment, and she moved to California, she converted to Catholicism and the $h!tshow started with her trying to RAM her ORDERS down my throat to become Catholic because "GOD TOLD HER TO TELL ME TO CONVERT!" (WTF?!?!?!? :?) Needless to say, she got royally pissed at me when I told her NO! Whatever faith I choose is MY PERSONAL DECISION and her nose ENDS where my personal business begins! BOUNDARIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Somewhere along the line, she managed to destroy her daughter's marriage and the N got exiled back to where she was born in the Midwest. While there, she started up the above behaviors with every single Catholic church in the parish/diocese. By the time she died, back in 2013, she was involved with a group of "FORMER CATHOLICS"! :shock: Something tells me she wore out her welcome so badly that the various priests told her to GET LOST!!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/6zk7um/dh_is_veras_tech_support/?sort=new
These N's think they can do whatever the F**K they want!!! F**K THAT NOISE!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/6zk7um/dh_is_veras_tech_support/?sort=new
These N's think they can do whatever the F**K they want!!! F**K THAT NOISE!
It's so sad reading things like this, these are the times when really all you can do is refuse to open the door or very clearly say 'NO' and stick to it. The selfishness and sense of entitlement is astonishing.
On a slightly different topic, I was reading about a situation on another forum regarding a family who have sold their home, subject to contract. Their buyers have been inundating them with demands about things they want removing or leaving, things they want changing and arguing over moving dates, to the point that the sellers are considering putting it back on the market. I just don't understand how people can so blindly insist on what they want without any regard for anyone else. Truly baffling. xx
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/6zk7um/dh_is_veras_tech_support/?sort=new
These N's think they can do whatever the F**K they want!!! F**K THAT NOISE!
It's so sad reading things like this, these are the times when really all you can do is refuse to open the door or very clearly say 'NO' and stick to it. The selfishness and sense of entitlement is astonishing.
On a slightly different topic, I was reading about a situation on another forum regarding a family who have sold their home, subject to contract. Their buyers have been inundating them with demands about things they want removing or leaving, things they want changing and arguing over moving dates, to the point that the sellers are considering putting it back on the market. I just don't understand how people can so blindly insist on what they want without any regard for anyone else. Truly baffling. xx
It is truly baffling. Unfortunately, these N's don't see people as PEOPLE. N's think they are ENTITLED to USE others as objects and tools for their own self-gratification. UGH!!!
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Just gotta vent!
Hyacinth Bucket, of Keeping Up Appearances, the Brit-Com is FUNNY!!!
A real-life Hyacinth Bucket attempting to force Keeping Up Appearances according to HER standards is tiresome! I think I managed to nip that nonsense in the bud! BUH-BYE!
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I knew that sooner or later, as I continued digging into genealogy, that I was going to find some Black Sheep and skeletons hiding in the closet! I had NO idea who they were going to be!
One of the Black Sheep turned up on the maternal side of the family tree. As I'm researching, the name of "Samuel Mudd Blandford" popped up and subsequent research had his family living in the same region as the infamous Doctor Samuel A. Mudd. Turns out that Samuel Mudd Blandford and Doctor Samuel A. Mudd are, in fact, related to each other and that they are maternal cousins!
The other Black Sheep turned up this past Saturday while I was taking a tour of the Surratt House in what was formerly Surrattsville. The docent was explaining what happened with the Surratt Family while they were living there and the question came up regarding what happened to the family after Mary Surratt was executed. Turns out that one of the Surratt sons, John Harrison Surratt, Jr. married a relative of Francis Scott Key. Francis Scott Key is related to my Dad via marriage which would also make the Surratts related too!
So now I have found at least two Black Sheep! Who knew?!?!?!?
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I knew that sooner or later, as I continued digging into genealogy, that I was going to find some Black Sheep and skeletons hiding in the closet! I had NO idea who they were going to be!
One of the Black Sheep turned up on the maternal side of the family tree. As I'm researching, the name of "Samuel Mudd Blandford" popped up and subsequent research had his family living in the same region as the infamous Doctor Samuel A. Mudd. Turns out that Samuel Mudd Blandford and Doctor Samuel A. Mudd are, in fact, related to each other and that they are maternal cousins!
The other Black Sheep turned up this past Saturday while I was taking a tour of the Surratt House in what was formerly Surrattsville. The docent was explaining what happened with the Surratt Family while they were living there and the question came up regarding what happened to the family after Mary Surratt was executed. Turns out that one of the Surratt sons, John Harrison Surratt, Jr. married a relative of Francis Scott Key. Francis Scott Key is related to my Dad via marriage which would also make the Surratts related too!
So now I have found at least two Black Sheep! Who knew?!?!?!?
Wow, Bonesie, well I guess a family isn't a family without some Black Sheep! I didn't know you used that expression over there as well :) It's amazing how the links follow through once you start digging :) xx
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I knew that sooner or later, as I continued digging into genealogy, that I was going to find some Black Sheep and skeletons hiding in the closet! I had NO idea who they were going to be!
One of the Black Sheep turned up on the maternal side of the family tree. As I'm researching, the name of "Samuel Mudd Blandford" popped up and subsequent research had his family living in the same region as the infamous Doctor Samuel A. Mudd. Turns out that Samuel Mudd Blandford and Doctor Samuel A. Mudd are, in fact, related to each other and that they are maternal cousins!
The other Black Sheep turned up this past Saturday while I was taking a tour of the Surratt House in what was formerly Surrattsville. The docent was explaining what happened with the Surratt Family while they were living there and the question came up regarding what happened to the family after Mary Surratt was executed. Turns out that one of the Surratt sons, John Harrison Surratt, Jr. married a relative of Francis Scott Key. Francis Scott Key is related to my Dad via marriage which would also make the Surratts related too!
So now I have found at least two Black Sheep! Who knew?!?!?!?
Wow, Bonesie, well I guess a family isn't a family without some Black Sheep! I didn't know you used that expression over there as well :) It's amazing how the links follow through once you start digging :) xx
LOL!!!
Funny how some colloquialisms pop up in both British and American English.
Now I'm wondering what other Black Sheep are going to turn up or what other skeletons I'm going to find hiding in the closet?
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I knew that sooner or later, as I continued digging into genealogy, that I was going to find some Black Sheep and skeletons hiding in the closet! I had NO idea who they were going to be!
One of the Black Sheep turned up on the maternal side of the family tree. As I'm researching, the name of "Samuel Mudd Blandford" popped up and subsequent research had his family living in the same region as the infamous Doctor Samuel A. Mudd. Turns out that Samuel Mudd Blandford and Doctor Samuel A. Mudd are, in fact, related to each other and that they are maternal cousins!
The other Black Sheep turned up this past Saturday while I was taking a tour of the Surratt House in what was formerly Surrattsville. The docent was explaining what happened with the Surratt Family while they were living there and the question came up regarding what happened to the family after Mary Surratt was executed. Turns out that one of the Surratt sons, John Harrison Surratt, Jr. married a relative of Francis Scott Key. Francis Scott Key is related to my Dad via marriage which would also make the Surratts related too!
So now I have found at least two Black Sheep! Who knew?!?!?!?
Wow, Bonesie, well I guess a family isn't a family without some Black Sheep! I didn't know you used that expression over there as well :) It's amazing how the links follow through once you start digging :) xx
LOL!!!
Funny how some colloquialisms pop up in both British and American English.
Now I'm wondering what other Black Sheep are going to turn up or what other skeletons I'm going to find hiding in the closet?
Well I think we can safely say you have inherited the genes of the good ones, not the dodgy ones :) xx xx xx
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I knew that sooner or later, as I continued digging into genealogy, that I was going to find some Black Sheep and skeletons hiding in the closet! I had NO idea who they were going to be!
One of the Black Sheep turned up on the maternal side of the family tree. As I'm researching, the name of "Samuel Mudd Blandford" popped up and subsequent research had his family living in the same region as the infamous Doctor Samuel A. Mudd. Turns out that Samuel Mudd Blandford and Doctor Samuel A. Mudd are, in fact, related to each other and that they are maternal cousins!
The other Black Sheep turned up this past Saturday while I was taking a tour of the Surratt House in what was formerly Surrattsville. The docent was explaining what happened with the Surratt Family while they were living there and the question came up regarding what happened to the family after Mary Surratt was executed. Turns out that one of the Surratt sons, John Harrison Surratt, Jr. married a relative of Francis Scott Key. Francis Scott Key is related to my Dad via marriage which would also make the Surratts related too!
So now I have found at least two Black Sheep! Who knew?!?!?!?
Wow, Bonesie, well I guess a family isn't a family without some Black Sheep! I didn't know you used that expression over there as well :) It's amazing how the links follow through once you start digging :) xx
LOL!!!
Funny how some colloquialisms pop up in both British and American English.
Now I'm wondering what other Black Sheep are going to turn up or what other skeletons I'm going to find hiding in the closet?
Well I think we can safely say you have inherited the genes of the good ones, not the dodgy ones :) xx xx xx
LOL!!!!
Thanks!
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My former sister-in-law posted this on Facebook and it showed up in my Newsfeed:
"Always remember people will come and go, but you only have one MOTHER forever!
Love her always because there will come a day when she won’t be here to hold....."
My response:
BonesMS:
"Unless you deal with the dysfunctional one that screwed up your ex-husband."
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My former sister-in-law posted this on Facebook and it showed up in my Newsfeed:
"Always remember people will come and go, but you only have one MOTHER forever!
Love her always because there will come a day when she won’t be here to hold....."
My response:
BonesMS:
"Unless you deal with the dysfunctional one that screwed up your ex-husband."
Aw, Bones, it's always sad when those sort of blanket, Hallmark type sentiments get posted because it's patently untrue for so many people. Someone I know posted something similar recently and it was sad/frightening/surprising to read how many comments basically saying what you've said; not everyone's a saint, not everyone has good relationships and some people are just too unhealthy to be around. What was equally surprising was the number of people posting who were astonished to hear people saying negative things about their families: I guess if you're lucky enough to grow up in a loving family it's hard to imagine not having that.
Funnily enough I was thinking about you this morning :) There's a programme here called 'Who Do You Think You Are', where famous people trace back their family trees. There's a guy called 'Shovel' who's the drummer with a band called M People (I don't know if they got famous in the States) but in it he talks about growing up as a black child in a white family in the sixties and seventies and therefore always assuming he'd been adopted, although it was never talked about. He had a really happy, loving childhood, lovely parents and has nothing but good to say about them, but in his thirties he found out his adopted mum was actually his birth mother. She'd had a fling with a guy at work and he was the result of it. Initially he'd been put up for adoption but then his parents decided to get him back and raise him themselves - apparently the first his dad knew of the affair was when he got to the hospital and found his wife cradling a black baby. I guess she was hoping he was the father and would never know about the affair. So they took him back and this guy raised him as his own, it was an emotional story, so much love and a sort of 'well let's get on with it' attitude. Anyway, family trees - made me think of you! :) xx
-
My former sister-in-law posted this on Facebook and it showed up in my Newsfeed:
"Always remember people will come and go, but you only have one MOTHER forever!
Love her always because there will come a day when she won’t be here to hold....."
My response:
BonesMS:
"Unless you deal with the dysfunctional one that screwed up your ex-husband."
Aw, Bones, it's always sad when those sort of blanket, Hallmark type sentiments get posted because it's patently untrue for so many people. Someone I know posted something similar recently and it was sad/frightening/surprising to read how many comments basically saying what you've said; not everyone's a saint, not everyone has good relationships and some people are just too unhealthy to be around. What was equally surprising was the number of people posting who were astonished to hear people saying negative things about their families: I guess if you're lucky enough to grow up in a loving family it's hard to imagine not having that.
Funnily enough I was thinking about you this morning :) There's a programme here called 'Who Do You Think You Are', where famous people trace back their family trees. There's a guy called 'Shovel' who's the drummer with a band called M People (I don't know if they got famous in the States) but in it he talks about growing up as a black child in a white family in the sixties and seventies and therefore always assuming he'd been adopted, although it was never talked about. He had a really happy, loving childhood, lovely parents and has nothing but good to say about them, but in his thirties he found out his adopted mum was actually his birth mother. She'd had a fling with a guy at work and he was the result of it. Initially he'd been put up for adoption but then his parents decided to get him back and raise him themselves - apparently the first his dad knew of the affair was when he got to the hospital and found his wife cradling a black baby. I guess she was hoping he was the father and would never know about the affair. So they took him back and this guy raised him as his own, it was an emotional story, so much love and a sort of 'well let's get on with it' attitude. Anyway, family trees - made me think of you! :) xx
Cool!!!
We have a USA version of "Who Do You Think You Are?" that started out on broadcast tv but switched to a cable channel later on. (I can't afford cable so I can't watch it like I used to.)
Whenever anyone posts those "blanket" memes, I just cringe because that was NOT my reality growing up. I had quite a long talk with my former sister-in-law several months ago where I described what that B!TCH did to both my NGCB and me. I thought she understood what I told her but, given what she posted yesterday, apparently, she didn't.
-
My former sister-in-law posted this on Facebook and it showed up in my Newsfeed:
"Always remember people will come and go, but you only have one MOTHER forever!
Love her always because there will come a day when she won’t be here to hold....."
My response:
BonesMS:
"Unless you deal with the dysfunctional one that screwed up your ex-husband."
Aw, Bones, it's always sad when those sort of blanket, Hallmark type sentiments get posted because it's patently untrue for so many people. Someone I know posted something similar recently and it was sad/frightening/surprising to read how many comments basically saying what you've said; not everyone's a saint, not everyone has good relationships and some people are just too unhealthy to be around. What was equally surprising was the number of people posting who were astonished to hear people saying negative things about their families: I guess if you're lucky enough to grow up in a loving family it's hard to imagine not having that.
Funnily enough I was thinking about you this morning :) There's a programme here called 'Who Do You Think You Are', where famous people trace back their family trees. There's a guy called 'Shovel' who's the drummer with a band called M People (I don't know if they got famous in the States) but in it he talks about growing up as a black child in a white family in the sixties and seventies and therefore always assuming he'd been adopted, although it was never talked about. He had a really happy, loving childhood, lovely parents and has nothing but good to say about them, but in his thirties he found out his adopted mum was actually his birth mother. She'd had a fling with a guy at work and he was the result of it. Initially he'd been put up for adoption but then his parents decided to get him back and raise him themselves - apparently the first his dad knew of the affair was when he got to the hospital and found his wife cradling a black baby. I guess she was hoping he was the father and would never know about the affair. So they took him back and this guy raised him as his own, it was an emotional story, so much love and a sort of 'well let's get on with it' attitude. Anyway, family trees - made me think of you! :) xx
Cool!!!
We have a USA version of "Who Do You Think You Are?" that started out on broadcast tv but switched to a cable channel later on. (I can't afford cable so I can't watch it like I used to.)
Whenever anyone posts those "blanket" memes, I just cringe because that was NOT my reality growing up. I had quite a long talk with my former sister-in-law several months ago where I described what that B!TCH did to both my NGCB and me. I thought she understood what I told her but, given what she posted yesterday, apparently, she didn't.
Ah, I know what you mean, Bones, and I must admit I do feel sad when I see those sort of 'My Mum is The Best Ever' type things because I'd love to be able to say that! I do remember the first time I didn't buy her a Mother's Day card. I'd really struggled for a couple of years because I didn't feel that any of the sentiments were appropriate and the first year that I didn't do it I felt really mean, largely because I knew how upset she would be. But it just felt so false I couldn't bring myself to do it anymore. I think maybe some of us need a meme that says "Look, I was fed and clothed but beyond that I mostly did it myself. And I did a good job, too!" Lol xx
-
My former sister-in-law posted this on Facebook and it showed up in my Newsfeed:
"Always remember people will come and go, but you only have one MOTHER forever!
Love her always because there will come a day when she won’t be here to hold....."
My response:
BonesMS:
"Unless you deal with the dysfunctional one that screwed up your ex-husband."
Aw, Bones, it's always sad when those sort of blanket, Hallmark type sentiments get posted because it's patently untrue for so many people. Someone I know posted something similar recently and it was sad/frightening/surprising to read how many comments basically saying what you've said; not everyone's a saint, not everyone has good relationships and some people are just too unhealthy to be around. What was equally surprising was the number of people posting who were astonished to hear people saying negative things about their families: I guess if you're lucky enough to grow up in a loving family it's hard to imagine not having that.
Funnily enough I was thinking about you this morning :) There's a programme here called 'Who Do You Think You Are', where famous people trace back their family trees. There's a guy called 'Shovel' who's the drummer with a band called M People (I don't know if they got famous in the States) but in it he talks about growing up as a black child in a white family in the sixties and seventies and therefore always assuming he'd been adopted, although it was never talked about. He had a really happy, loving childhood, lovely parents and has nothing but good to say about them, but in his thirties he found out his adopted mum was actually his birth mother. She'd had a fling with a guy at work and he was the result of it. Initially he'd been put up for adoption but then his parents decided to get him back and raise him themselves - apparently the first his dad knew of the affair was when he got to the hospital and found his wife cradling a black baby. I guess she was hoping he was the father and would never know about the affair. So they took him back and this guy raised him as his own, it was an emotional story, so much love and a sort of 'well let's get on with it' attitude. Anyway, family trees - made me think of you! :) xx
Cool!!!
We have a USA version of "Who Do You Think You Are?" that started out on broadcast tv but switched to a cable channel later on. (I can't afford cable so I can't watch it like I used to.)
Whenever anyone posts those "blanket" memes, I just cringe because that was NOT my reality growing up. I had quite a long talk with my former sister-in-law several months ago where I described what that B!TCH did to both my NGCB and me. I thought she understood what I told her but, given what she posted yesterday, apparently, she didn't.
Ah, I know what you mean, Bones, and I must admit I do feel sad when I see those sort of 'My Mum is The Best Ever' type things because I'd love to be able to say that! I do remember the first time I didn't buy her a Mother's Day card. I'd really struggled for a couple of years because I didn't feel that any of the sentiments were appropriate and the first year that I didn't do it I felt really mean, largely because I knew how upset she would be. But it just felt so false I couldn't bring myself to do it anymore. I think maybe some of us need a meme that says "Look, I was fed and clothed but beyond that I mostly did it myself. And I did a good job, too!" Lol xx
I like that meme!
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"Always remember people will come and go, but you only have one MOTHER forever!
Love her always because there will come a day when she won’t be here to hold....."
I dread seeing these memes. There's always a bombardment of them around Mother's Day. I don't want to ruin a friend's thread with my true feelings, so find it best to avoid Facebook during that time. I have to sit on my hands and bite my tongue to stop myself from writing: "My mother is dead and burning in hell, and I'm HAPPY about it. Burn, witch, burn!" :P
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"Always remember people will come and go, but you only have one MOTHER forever!
Love her always because there will come a day when she won’t be here to hold....."
I dread seeing these memes. There's always a bombardment of them around Mother's Day. I don't want to ruin a friend's thread with my true feelings, so find it best to avoid Facebook during that time. I have to sit on my hands and bite my tongue to stop myself from writing: "My mother is dead and burning in hell, and I'm HAPPY about it. Burn, witch, burn!" :P
Well, given the numerous discussions I previously had with her, I just gave her a gentle reminder of how SCREWED UP her ex-husband was and that his being screwed up didn't occur in a vacuum. I don't hesitate to say to her: "Yeah, your ex-husband, my NGCB, WAS AN A$$HOLE! Egg-donor Jocasta made him that way!"
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How are you doing, Bonesie? xx xx xx
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How are you doing, Bonesie? xx xx xx
Hi, Tupp.
Trying to take things one day at a time.
hugs
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How are you doing, Bonesie? xx xx xx
Hi, Tupp.
Trying to take things one day at a time.
hugs
I'm sorry things are tough, Bonesie, and I hope they get a little better soon xx (((((((((((((((Bones))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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How are you doing, Bonesie? xx xx xx
Hi, Tupp.
Trying to take things one day at a time.
hugs
I'm sorry things are tough, Bonesie, and I hope they get a little better soon xx (((((((((((((((Bones))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Thanks, (((((((((((((Tupp)))))))))))))))))))))
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Merry Christmas, Bonesie :) Love Tup xx
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https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10213316175751252&set=a.1203532440812.31978.1003624962&type=3&theater
My friend helped me with brainstorming this. It's fun to post some snark!
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https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10213316175751252&set=a.1203532440812.31978.1003624962&type=3&theater
My friend helped me with brainstorming this. It's fun to post some snark!
Plus, making sure the Orange Slime sees the snark! First Amendment, YO!
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Merry Christmas, Bonesie :) Love Tup xx
Merry Christmas, (((((Tup))))))
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/7mhyuf/vacation_bitchs_mental_health/?sort=new&limit=500
I've studied Abnormal Psychology when I was in school and have dealt with clients who suffered from Schizophrenia....however, THIS is SERIOUSLY SCARY!!!!!!! :shock:
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/7mhyuf/vacation_bitchs_mental_health/?sort=new&limit=500
I've studied Abnormal Psychology when I was in school and have dealt with clients who suffered from Schizophrenia....however, THIS is SERIOUSLY SCARY!!!!!!! :shock:
That is scary, Bones, it's amazing where the human mind can go. I've often wondered about those sorts of delusions that seem to accompany Schizophrenia as they tend to seem scary? I don't often hear of people having nice delusions and thinking everyone loves them and wants to be their friend. It's odd that the mind tends to head towards the unpleasant with those sorts of conditions. Well I hope she gets the help that she needs and that everyone else who's been affected is able to get back on track again; it's scary to witness and/or be on the receiving end of something like that.
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/7mhyuf/vacation_bitchs_mental_health/?sort=new&limit=500
I've studied Abnormal Psychology when I was in school and have dealt with clients who suffered from Schizophrenia....however, THIS is SERIOUSLY SCARY!!!!!!! :shock:
That is scary, Bones, it's amazing where the human mind can go. I've often wondered about those sorts of delusions that seem to accompany Schizophrenia as they tend to seem scary? I don't often hear of people having nice delusions and thinking everyone loves them and wants to be their friend. It's odd that the mind tends to head towards the unpleasant with those sorts of conditions. Well I hope she gets the help that she needs and that everyone else who's been affected is able to get back on track again; it's scary to witness and/or be on the receiving end of something like that.
Yeah!
And to think she was targeting a group of employees at a travel agency for simply doing their jobs!!!!!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/7mhyuf/vacation_bitchs_mental_health/?sort=new&limit=500
I've studied Abnormal Psychology when I was in school and have dealt with clients who suffered from Schizophrenia....however, THIS is SERIOUSLY SCARY!!!!!!! :shock:
That is scary, Bones, it's amazing where the human mind can go. I've often wondered about those sorts of delusions that seem to accompany Schizophrenia as they tend to seem scary? I don't often hear of people having nice delusions and thinking everyone loves them and wants to be their friend. It's odd that the mind tends to head towards the unpleasant with those sorts of conditions. Well I hope she gets the help that she needs and that everyone else who's been affected is able to get back on track again; it's scary to witness and/or be on the receiving end of something like that.
Yeah!
And to think she was targeting a group of employees at a travel agency for simply doing their jobs!!!!!
I know, it's not the sort of situation standard job training would prepare you for! I think everyone would need a good cup of tea afterwards :) xx
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/7mhyuf/vacation_bitchs_mental_health/?sort=new&limit=500
I've studied Abnormal Psychology when I was in school and have dealt with clients who suffered from Schizophrenia....however, THIS is SERIOUSLY SCARY!!!!!!! :shock:
That is scary, Bones, it's amazing where the human mind can go. I've often wondered about those sorts of delusions that seem to accompany Schizophrenia as they tend to seem scary? I don't often hear of people having nice delusions and thinking everyone loves them and wants to be their friend. It's odd that the mind tends to head towards the unpleasant with those sorts of conditions. Well I hope she gets the help that she needs and that everyone else who's been affected is able to get back on track again; it's scary to witness and/or be on the receiving end of something like that.
Yeah!
And to think she was targeting a group of employees at a travel agency for simply doing their jobs!!!!!
I know, it's not the sort of situation standard job training would prepare you for! I think everyone would need a good cup of tea afterwards :) xx
Tea or Coffee!!!
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/7mhyuf/vacation_bitchs_mental_health/?sort=new&limit=500
I've studied Abnormal Psychology when I was in school and have dealt with clients who suffered from Schizophrenia....however, THIS is SERIOUSLY SCARY!!!!!!! :shock:
That is scary, Bones, it's amazing where the human mind can go. I've often wondered about those sorts of delusions that seem to accompany Schizophrenia as they tend to seem scary? I don't often hear of people having nice delusions and thinking everyone loves them and wants to be their friend. It's odd that the mind tends to head towards the unpleasant with those sorts of conditions. Well I hope she gets the help that she needs and that everyone else who's been affected is able to get back on track again; it's scary to witness and/or be on the receiving end of something like that.
Yeah!
And to think she was targeting a group of employees at a travel agency for simply doing their jobs!!!!!
I know, it's not the sort of situation standard job training would prepare you for! I think everyone would need a good cup of tea afterwards :) xx
Tea or Coffee!!!
Lol, maybe coffee and vodka! xx
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/7mhyuf/vacation_bitchs_mental_health/?sort=new&limit=500
I've studied Abnormal Psychology when I was in school and have dealt with clients who suffered from Schizophrenia....however, THIS is SERIOUSLY SCARY!!!!!!! :shock:
That is scary, Bones, it's amazing where the human mind can go. I've often wondered about those sorts of delusions that seem to accompany Schizophrenia as they tend to seem scary? I don't often hear of people having nice delusions and thinking everyone loves them and wants to be their friend. It's odd that the mind tends to head towards the unpleasant with those sorts of conditions. Well I hope she gets the help that she needs and that everyone else who's been affected is able to get back on track again; it's scary to witness and/or be on the receiving end of something like that.
Yeah!
And to think she was targeting a group of employees at a travel agency for simply doing their jobs!!!!!
I know, it's not the sort of situation standard job training would prepare you for! I think everyone would need a good cup of tea afterwards :) xx
Tea or Coffee!!!
Lol, maybe coffee and vodka! xx
No booze for me, thanks.
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Happy New Year, Bonesie! I hope 2018 is N free and brings some health and happiness your way. Lots of love xx
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/7n5vh0/ways_my_nmom_broke_me_an_update_on_my_former/
TRIGGER WARNING!!!!
This "therapist" is a NIGHTMARE!!!! It's idiots like this that makes it harder to find a decent therapist I can trust.
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Happy New Year, Bonesie! I hope 2018 is N free and brings some health and happiness your way. Lots of love xx
Happy New Year, Tup!
-
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/7n5vh0/ways_my_nmom_broke_me_an_update_on_my_former/
TRIGGER WARNING!!!!
This "therapist" is a NIGHTMARE!!!! It's idiots like this that makes it harder to find a decent therapist I can trust.
What an awful situation. That poor lady. Yes, I agree, some therapists (some people, really!) just need to be locked in a cupboard and kept away from people. The right therapist can be life changing - the wrong equally so, I guess.xx
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https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/7n5vh0/ways_my_nmom_broke_me_an_update_on_my_former/
TRIGGER WARNING!!!!
This "therapist" is a NIGHTMARE!!!! It's idiots like this that makes it harder to find a decent therapist I can trust.
What an awful situation. That poor lady. Yes, I agree, some therapists (some people, really!) just need to be locked in a cupboard and kept away from people. The right therapist can be life changing - the wrong equally so, I guess.xx
Yeah!
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Just wanted to vent my annoyance somewhere.
One of my neighbors invited me to her condo unit for Christmas Day. At the time she invited me, she made a comment about the fact that I have no family. (Excuse me? Are you inviting me because you feel sorry for me? If so, save it!) I asked her if I could come later as some friends, one who is bed-ridden, also asked to see me. The shut-ins can't drive over to visit me because they are Shut-Ins...hello? The neighbor who invited me got huffy while telling me that, yes, I could come by later after visiting the friends who are shut-ins on Christmas Day. I take care of my visit, come home, and find the neighbor's condo unit all dark and no answer at the door.
I saw her a few days ago and she gave me a sulky face.
WTF?!?!?!?
If you are inviting me because you enjoy my company, that's great. If the only reason you are inviting me is because you feel sorry for me and want to look good to your other "Christian" friends, then don't bother!
GRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Just wanted to vent my annoyance somewhere.
One of my neighbors invited me to her condo unit for Christmas Day. At the time she invited me, she made a comment about the fact that I have no family. (Excuse me? Are you inviting me because you feel sorry for me? If so, save it!) I asked her if I could come later as some friends, one who is bed-ridden, also asked to see me. The shut-ins can't drive over to visit me because they are Shut-Ins...hello? The neighbor who invited me got huffy while telling me that, yes, I could come by later after visiting the friends who are shut-ins on Christmas Day. I take care of my visit, come home, and find the neighbor's condo unit all dark and no answer at the door.
I saw her a few days ago and she gave me a sulky face.
WTF?!?!?!?
If you are inviting me because you enjoy my company, that's great. If the only reason you are inviting me is because you feel sorry for me and want to look good to your other "Christian" friends, then don't bother!
GRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh Bones, that sounds horrible, is she someone you know well? Had she gone out or was she pretending not to be in? I get that there might have been an emergency but you'd think she'd have said that next time she saw you?
I know what you mean about not wanting people to feel sorry for you. I've had friends over the years (I thought they were friends) who were incredibly supportive when I was going through a rough patch (much appreciated) but then vanished when things got better and there wasn't a problem going on for me anymore. It made me wonder if they'd just felt sorry for me instead of wanting to be with me because they enjoyed spending time with me. It's not a nice feeling. I'm glad you got to see your other friend on the day though xx
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Just wanted to vent my annoyance somewhere.
One of my neighbors invited me to her condo unit for Christmas Day. At the time she invited me, she made a comment about the fact that I have no family. (Excuse me? Are you inviting me because you feel sorry for me? If so, save it!) I asked her if I could come later as some friends, one who is bed-ridden, also asked to see me. The shut-ins can't drive over to visit me because they are Shut-Ins...hello? The neighbor who invited me got huffy while telling me that, yes, I could come by later after visiting the friends who are shut-ins on Christmas Day. I take care of my visit, come home, and find the neighbor's condo unit all dark and no answer at the door.
I saw her a few days ago and she gave me a sulky face.
WTF?!?!?!?
If you are inviting me because you enjoy my company, that's great. If the only reason you are inviting me is because you feel sorry for me and want to look good to your other "Christian" friends, then don't bother!
GRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh Bones, that sounds horrible, is she someone you know well? Had she gone out or was she pretending not to be in? I get that there might have been an emergency but you'd think she'd have said that next time she saw you?
I know what you mean about not wanting people to feel sorry for you. I've had friends over the years (I thought they were friends) who were incredibly supportive when I was going through a rough patch (much appreciated) but then vanished when things got better and there wasn't a problem going on for me anymore. It made me wonder if they'd just felt sorry for me instead of wanting to be with me because they enjoyed spending time with me. It's not a nice feeling. I'm glad you got to see your other friend on the day though xx
We've been neighbors for quite a few years. I don't know what she did on Christmas Day and I didn't bother to ask when she gave me that sulky face on sight. I'm not going to waste my energy on that. I get irritated when people attempt to use me to make themselves look good. To me, that's some phony $h!t.
I'm glad I got to see my other friends and got the chance to spoil their fur-baby. (They have a cat.)
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https://www.reddit.com/r/MomForAMinute/comments/51vvvk/welcome/
I just found out about this Reddit group.
I'm looking it over.
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https://www.reddit.com/r/MomForAMinute/comments/51vvvk/welcome/
I just found out about this Reddit group.
I'm looking it over.
Oh Bones, it looks nice, so it would be like having a cyber mum? Or being a cyber mum, if you were the one doing the mum bit? It sounds like a really good idea. Would you be thinking about being a moderator as well? You'd be really good at that, although I imagine it probably takes up quite a bit of time xx
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https://www.reddit.com/r/MomForAMinute/comments/51vvvk/welcome/
I just found out about this Reddit group.
I'm looking it over.
Oh Bones, it looks nice, so it would be like having a cyber mum? Or being a cyber mum, if you were the one doing the mum bit? It sounds like a really good idea. Would you be thinking about being a moderator as well? You'd be really good at that, although I imagine it probably takes up quite a bit of time xx
I'm not sure yet.
I'm just lurking for now.
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It's good to watch and wait, Bonesie, and see how things develop. How are things going for you healthwise now? A little better, I hope xx
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It's good to watch and wait, Bonesie, and see how things develop. How are things going for you healthwise now? A little better, I hope xx
Thanks, Tupp.
I've been taking things slow.
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It's good to watch and wait, Bonesie, and see how things develop. How are things going for you healthwise now? A little better, I hope xx
Thanks, Tupp.
I've been taking things slow.
Slow and steady wins the race and all that :) I find I get bored and then speed up a bit and overdo it so I'm working on staying slow for longer lol xx
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It's good to watch and wait, Bonesie, and see how things develop. How are things going for you healthwise now? A little better, I hope xx
Thanks, Tupp.
I've been taking things slow.
Slow and steady wins the race and all that :) I find I get bored and then speed up a bit and overdo it so I'm working on staying slow for longer lol xx
LOL!
I've done that too and paid the price.
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It's good to watch and wait, Bonesie, and see how things develop. How are things going for you healthwise now? A little better, I hope xx
Thanks, Tupp.
I've been taking things slow.
Slow and steady wins the race and all that :) I find I get bored and then speed up a bit and overdo it so I'm working on staying slow for longer lol xx
LOL!
I've done that too and paid the price.
Lol, it's difficult, isn't it, because you feel a bit better (because you rested) and you think, yay, I can do stuff and then I find I just go and go until I'm worn out again! So I'm really trying to make myself take breaks and not go too mad but it's difficult because it feels nice to have some energy and you want to sort of do something with it lol xx
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It's good to watch and wait, Bonesie, and see how things develop. How are things going for you healthwise now? A little better, I hope xx
Thanks, Tupp.
I've been taking things slow.
Slow and steady wins the race and all that :) I find I get bored and then speed up a bit and overdo it so I'm working on staying slow for longer lol xx
LOL!
I've done that too and paid the price.
Lol, it's difficult, isn't it, because you feel a bit better (because you rested) and you think, yay, I can do stuff and then I find I just go and go until I'm worn out again! So I'm really trying to make myself take breaks and not go too mad but it's difficult because it feels nice to have some energy and you want to sort of do something with it lol xx
Yeah!
Right now I need to take the trash to the dumpster. When I was younger and healthier, it was no big deal walking to the far end of the parking lot hauling the bag of trash. Now, it's exhausting when I take it in small batches since I can't haul a large bag anymore. It's frustrating.
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Aw Bones, that's the kind of thing that's really tough, just those normal, every day activities that need to be done but that become such big jobs if your health goes. I get your frustration with that, it's a real pain to deal with :( xx
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Aw Bones, that's the kind of thing that's really tough, just those normal, every day activities that need to be done but that become such big jobs if your health goes. I get your frustration with that, it's a real pain to deal with :( xx
Thanks.
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Hi Bonesie, how are you doing? The weather is kind of weird here; very sunny but so cold; the days are getting longer and the crocuses are coming up but they've forecast snow and we've still at least a couple of months of winter to get through yet :) How is it in your part of the world? xx
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Hi Bonesie, how are you doing? The weather is kind of weird here; very sunny but so cold; the days are getting longer and the crocuses are coming up but they've forecast snow and we've still at least a couple of months of winter to get through yet :) How is it in your part of the world? xx
Hi, Tupp.
It's been cold here too and sometimes it has rained like crazy.
I can't wait for Spring!
I'm tired of the cold and how it's affecting my health.
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Hi Bonesie, how are you doing? The weather is kind of weird here; very sunny but so cold; the days are getting longer and the crocuses are coming up but they've forecast snow and we've still at least a couple of months of winter to get through yet :) How is it in your part of the world? xx
Hi, Tupp.
It's been cold here too and sometimes it has rained like crazy.
I can't wait for Spring!
I'm tired of the cold and how it's affecting my health.
Bluergh, I know what you mean! I love spring :) The birds are waking up here, there's a lot of singing in hedgerows and I've seen magpies gathering sticks for their nests. The crocuses are coming up and there are catkins appearing on the trees. Yesterday was beautiful and sunny here, today it's freezing! Yes, come on spring, we want it to hurry up!! xx
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Hi Bonesie, how are you doing? The weather is kind of weird here; very sunny but so cold; the days are getting longer and the crocuses are coming up but they've forecast snow and we've still at least a couple of months of winter to get through yet :) How is it in your part of the world? xx
Hi, Tupp.
It's been cold here too and sometimes it has rained like crazy.
I can't wait for Spring!
I'm tired of the cold and how it's affecting my health.
Bluergh, I know what you mean! I love spring :) The birds are waking up here, there's a lot of singing in hedgerows and I've seen magpies gathering sticks for their nests. The crocuses are coming up and there are catkins appearing on the trees. Yesterday was beautiful and sunny here, today it's freezing! Yes, come on spring, we want it to hurry up!! xx
Yeah! I'm tired of being cooped up!
Also, I might be giving away my identity....I thought I would share the following snark from Valentine's Day. Normally, Valentine's Day depresses me but this opportunity got me GIGGLING!:
"Darn! I just missed an opportunity to have some Snarky Fun! A few days ago, I got a Friend Request from an individual who was mutual friends with another Trekkie. I thought, "Okay, cool!" Then, this morning, I see that this "New Friend" had sent me a private message suggesting sex! (WTF?!?!?) I was all set to reply with the following: "I know it's Valentine's Day, however, I am an Asexual Alien from the Planet Whatever who's over 200 years old and needs frequent feedings and diaper changes. I would suggest you check with other Federation Worlds to see if you can find a better looking dude with chiseled washboard abs. I ain't it!" Unfortunately, the Facebook Folks had already jettisoned the idiot out the nearest airlock before I could send off my snark! I think I've been hanging out with David Gerrold so much that his influence is taking over the world! LOL!!!!"
Yeah THAT was FUN and gave me a much-needed laugh! Even David Gerrold got in on the FUN which also helped to cheer me up!
Bring on the CHOCOLATE!!!!!!
:lol:
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Hi Bonesie, how are you doing? The weather is kind of weird here; very sunny but so cold; the days are getting longer and the crocuses are coming up but they've forecast snow and we've still at least a couple of months of winter to get through yet :) How is it in your part of the world? xx
Hi, Tupp.
It's been cold here too and sometimes it has rained like crazy.
I can't wait for Spring!
I'm tired of the cold and how it's affecting my health.
Bluergh, I know what you mean! I love spring :) The birds are waking up here, there's a lot of singing in hedgerows and I've seen magpies gathering sticks for their nests. The crocuses are coming up and there are catkins appearing on the trees. Yesterday was beautiful and sunny here, today it's freezing! Yes, come on spring, we want it to hurry up!! xx
Yeah! I'm tired of being cooped up!
Also, I might be giving away my identity....I thought I would share the following snark from Valentine's Day. Normally, Valentine's Day depresses me but this opportunity got me GIGGLING!:
"Darn! I just missed an opportunity to have some Snarky Fun! A few days ago, I got a Friend Request from an individual who was mutual friends with another Trekkie. I thought, "Okay, cool!" Then, this morning, I see that this "New Friend" had sent me a private message suggesting sex! (WTF?!?!?) I was all set to reply with the following: "I know it's Valentine's Day, however, I am an Asexual Alien from the Planet Whatever who's over 200 years old and needs frequent feedings and diaper changes. I would suggest you check with other Federation Worlds to see if you can find a better looking dude with chiseled washboard abs. I ain't it!" Unfortunately, the Facebook Folks had already jettisoned the idiot out the nearest airlock before I could send off my snark! I think I've been hanging out with David Gerrold so much that his influence is taking over the world! LOL!!!!"
Yeah THAT was FUN and gave me a much-needed laugh! Even David Gerrold got in on the FUN which also helped to cheer me up!
Bring on the CHOCOLATE!!!!!!
:lol:
Lol!! Oh wow, Bonesie, that is unbelievable, so did the guy who sent the friend request get chucked out before the reply was sent? Perfect response, how funny, some people need to be told! Lol :) I think you deserve extra chocolate for that :) xx
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Hi Bonesie, how are you doing? The weather is kind of weird here; very sunny but so cold; the days are getting longer and the crocuses are coming up but they've forecast snow and we've still at least a couple of months of winter to get through yet :) How is it in your part of the world? xx
Hi, Tupp.
It's been cold here too and sometimes it has rained like crazy.
I can't wait for Spring!
I'm tired of the cold and how it's affecting my health.
Bluergh, I know what you mean! I love spring :) The birds are waking up here, there's a lot of singing in hedgerows and I've seen magpies gathering sticks for their nests. The crocuses are coming up and there are catkins appearing on the trees. Yesterday was beautiful and sunny here, today it's freezing! Yes, come on spring, we want it to hurry up!! xx
Yeah! I'm tired of being cooped up!
Also, I might be giving away my identity....I thought I would share the following snark from Valentine's Day. Normally, Valentine's Day depresses me but this opportunity got me GIGGLING!:
"Darn! I just missed an opportunity to have some Snarky Fun! A few days ago, I got a Friend Request from an individual who was mutual friends with another Trekkie. I thought, "Okay, cool!" Then, this morning, I see that this "New Friend" had sent me a private message suggesting sex! (WTF?!?!?) I was all set to reply with the following: "I know it's Valentine's Day, however, I am an Asexual Alien from the Planet Whatever who's over 200 years old and needs frequent feedings and diaper changes. I would suggest you check with other Federation Worlds to see if you can find a better looking dude with chiseled washboard abs. I ain't it!" Unfortunately, the Facebook Folks had already jettisoned the idiot out the nearest airlock before I could send off my snark! I think I've been hanging out with David Gerrold so much that his influence is taking over the world! LOL!!!!"
Yeah THAT was FUN and gave me a much-needed laugh! Even David Gerrold got in on the FUN which also helped to cheer me up!
Bring on the CHOCOLATE!!!!!!
:lol:
Lol!! Oh wow, Bonesie, that is unbelievable, so did the guy who sent the friend request get chucked out before the reply was sent? Perfect response, how funny, some people need to be told! Lol :) I think you deserve extra chocolate for that :) xx
It was actually a FEMALE who knew I am NOT a male! I don't swing that way!
When I saw that private message, I laughed my A$$ off because the FIRST thing I thought of was David Gerrold's experience with the exact same thing! That's where I got my inspiration from and decided to go all out with the FUN SNARK! The Facebook Techies were faster than I was!
Yeah, I need MORE CHOCOLATE!!!!
-
Oh wow, that's even funnier! Those Facebook techies are too fast! Lol xx
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Oh wow, that's even funnier! Those Facebook techies are too fast! Lol xx
Oh yeah! LOL!!!
:lol:
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How's the weather now, Bonesie, any better? We've had a lot of snow and veeeery cold weather, minus 11 a couple of nights this week and our heating broke down earlier in the week. Got it fixed and I've kept it on since, I was scared it wouldn't start again if I switched it down too low :) Starting to warm up again now, though. Hope the weather is getting better for you :) xx
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How's the weather now, Bonesie, any better? We've had a lot of snow and veeeery cold weather, minus 11 a couple of nights this week and our heating broke down earlier in the week. Got it fixed and I've kept it on since, I was scared it wouldn't start again if I switched it down too low :) Starting to warm up again now, though. Hope the weather is getting better for you :) xx
A bad wind storm hit my area on Friday and there's been quite a bit of damage around. My home is okay, just a few shingles flew off the rooftops of my condo development. I feel sorry for anyone who is dealing with the aftermath.
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How's the weather now, Bonesie, any better? We've had a lot of snow and veeeery cold weather, minus 11 a couple of nights this week and our heating broke down earlier in the week. Got it fixed and I've kept it on since, I was scared it wouldn't start again if I switched it down too low :) Starting to warm up again now, though. Hope the weather is getting better for you :) xx
A bad wind storm hit my area on Friday and there's been quite a bit of damage around. My home is okay, just a few shingles flew off the rooftops of my condo development. I feel sorry for anyone who is dealing with the aftermath.
I'm glad you're okay and there wasn't more damage. The clean up is always so difficult to cope with, there are still cars waiting to be recovered around our way at the minute, made me feel glad I'm not driving anymore :) xx
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How's the weather now, Bonesie, any better? We've had a lot of snow and veeeery cold weather, minus 11 a couple of nights this week and our heating broke down earlier in the week. Got it fixed and I've kept it on since, I was scared it wouldn't start again if I switched it down too low :) Starting to warm up again now, though. Hope the weather is getting better for you :) xx
A bad wind storm hit my area on Friday and there's been quite a bit of damage around. My home is okay, just a few shingles flew off the rooftops of my condo development. I feel sorry for anyone who is dealing with the aftermath.
I'm glad you're okay and there wasn't more damage. The clean up is always so difficult to cope with, there are still cars waiting to be recovered around our way at the minute, made me feel glad I'm not driving anymore :) xx
Turns out that as a CERT member, I was deployed yesterday to help with the aftermath. One of the apartment buildings in my county had a wall collapse, which rendered the building unfit for human habitation. Several other buildings had roof damage so bad that those buildings had to be evacuated as well. Then it was finally decided to close down the entire apartment development and evacuate ALL the tenants to a disaster shelter at a nearby high school. I was stationed at the high school to check CERT members in and out plus giving the CERT members necessary instructions on how to get to the disaster site, where to park, etc. as parking was RESTRICTED like CRAZY!!!!
Quite an experience!
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How's the weather now, Bonesie, any better? We've had a lot of snow and veeeery cold weather, minus 11 a couple of nights this week and our heating broke down earlier in the week. Got it fixed and I've kept it on since, I was scared it wouldn't start again if I switched it down too low :) Starting to warm up again now, though. Hope the weather is getting better for you :) xx
A bad wind storm hit my area on Friday and there's been quite a bit of damage around. My home is okay, just a few shingles flew off the rooftops of my condo development. I feel sorry for anyone who is dealing with the aftermath.
I'm glad you're okay and there wasn't more damage. The clean up is always so difficult to cope with, there are still cars waiting to be recovered around our way at the minute, made me feel glad I'm not driving anymore :) xx
Turns out that as a CERT member, I was deployed yesterday to help with the aftermath. One of the apartment buildings in my county had a wall collapse, which rendered the building unfit for human habitation. Several other buildings had roof damage so bad that those buildings had to be evacuated as well. Then it was finally decided to close down the entire apartment development and evacuate ALL the tenants to a disaster shelter at a nearby high school. I was stationed at the high school to check CERT members in and out plus giving the CERT members necessary instructions on how to get to the disaster site, where to park, etc. as parking was RESTRICTED like CRAZY!!!!
Quite an experience!
Oh wow Bonesie, how many people has that affected? Does that mean they're all now homeless or will they be able to get repairs done quickly and get people back in? There's just so little you can do to prepare for something as huge and unpredictable as that sort of weather related damage, I hope people are able to get back to their homes quickly xx
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How's the weather now, Bonesie, any better? We've had a lot of snow and veeeery cold weather, minus 11 a couple of nights this week and our heating broke down earlier in the week. Got it fixed and I've kept it on since, I was scared it wouldn't start again if I switched it down too low :) Starting to warm up again now, though. Hope the weather is getting better for you :) xx
A bad wind storm hit my area on Friday and there's been quite a bit of damage around. My home is okay, just a few shingles flew off the rooftops of my condo development. I feel sorry for anyone who is dealing with the aftermath.
I'm glad you're okay and there wasn't more damage. The clean up is always so difficult to cope with, there are still cars waiting to be recovered around our way at the minute, made me feel glad I'm not driving anymore :) xx
Turns out that as a CERT member, I was deployed yesterday to help with the aftermath. One of the apartment buildings in my county had a wall collapse, which rendered the building unfit for human habitation. Several other buildings had roof damage so bad that those buildings had to be evacuated as well. Then it was finally decided to close down the entire apartment development and evacuate ALL the tenants to a disaster shelter at a nearby high school. I was stationed at the high school to check CERT members in and out plus giving the CERT members necessary instructions on how to get to the disaster site, where to park, etc. as parking was RESTRICTED like CRAZY!!!!
Quite an experience!
Oh wow Bonesie, how many people has that affected? Does that mean they're all now homeless or will they be able to get repairs done quickly and get people back in? There's just so little you can do to prepare for something as huge and unpredictable as that sort of weather related damage, I hope people are able to get back to their homes quickly xx
I think at least 300 people were affected in that apartment complex. I saw a picture of one of the buildings and the wall was just GONE!!!!!!! It looked like a dollhouse! I took one look at the photo and my mind was BLOWN!!!! WOW!!!!
I did see a bit more damage around my home, such as a fence blown down with pieces of it scattered about. I felt that the fence was nothing compared to that apartment building!
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Oh Bones, that's terrible, so many people, it's so hard for people to manage and get on with day to day stuff when all their possessions are elsewhere and they've no base. I hope they can all get some help to get everything sorted out as quickly as possible xx
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Oh Bones, that's terrible, so many people, it's so hard for people to manage and get on with day to day stuff when all their possessions are elsewhere and they've no base. I hope they can all get some help to get everything sorted out as quickly as possible xx
I agree!
It's going to take some time for everything to get sorted out.
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Struggling with Depression AND Selective Mutism from my Spectrum Disorder.
I wish there was a therapist near me that is familiar with Survivors of Narcissists, Autism Spectrum Disorder, AND accepts Medicare.
It SUCKS!!!!!
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Struggling with Depression AND Selective Mutism from my Spectrum Disorder.
I wish there was a therapist near me that is familiar with Survivors of Narcissists, Autism Spectrum Disorder, AND accepts Medicare.
It SUCKS!!!!!
Oh, Bones, I'm sorry to read things are tough, you have so much going on to cope with, it must be hard to keep on keeping on. Do you find the depression and selective mutism are linked to one another or do you experience them at different times. Selective mutism isn't something I know much about other than things I've read which are usually part of other descriptions (if that makes sense?).
Do you find there are a shortage of therapists who could help in general or is it more to do with finding someone who accepts Medicare? I hope someone can find or suggest something useful for you xx xx
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Struggling with Depression AND Selective Mutism from my Spectrum Disorder.
I wish there was a therapist near me that is familiar with Survivors of Narcissists, Autism Spectrum Disorder, AND accepts Medicare.
It SUCKS!!!!!
Oh, Bones, I'm sorry to read things are tough, you have so much going on to cope with, it must be hard to keep on keeping on. Do you find the depression and selective mutism are linked to one another or do you experience them at different times. Selective mutism isn't something I know much about other than things I've read which are usually part of other descriptions (if that makes sense?).
Do you find there are a shortage of therapists who could help in general or is it more to do with finding someone who accepts Medicare? I hope someone can find or suggest something useful for you xx xx
It's a combination of everything.
Having worked in the mental health field myself, I've seen things that make me queasy.
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Struggling with Depression AND Selective Mutism from my Spectrum Disorder.
I wish there was a therapist near me that is familiar with Survivors of Narcissists, Autism Spectrum Disorder, AND accepts Medicare.
It SUCKS!!!!!
Oh, Bones, I'm sorry to read things are tough, you have so much going on to cope with, it must be hard to keep on keeping on. Do you find the depression and selective mutism are linked to one another or do you experience them at different times. Selective mutism isn't something I know much about other than things I've read which are usually part of other descriptions (if that makes sense?).
Do you find there are a shortage of therapists who could help in general or is it more to do with finding someone who accepts Medicare? I hope someone can find or suggest something useful for you xx xx
It's a combination of everything.
Having worked in the mental health field myself, I've seen things that make me queasy.
Very tough to cope with on your own. Bonesie, I hope there is a T out there that can do something useful. Any sign of some spring weather yet? We still have grey skies and rain :) xx
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Struggling with Depression AND Selective Mutism from my Spectrum Disorder.
I wish there was a therapist near me that is familiar with Survivors of Narcissists, Autism Spectrum Disorder, AND accepts Medicare.
It SUCKS!!!!!
Oh, Bones, I'm sorry to read things are tough, you have so much going on to cope with, it must be hard to keep on keeping on. Do you find the depression and selective mutism are linked to one another or do you experience them at different times. Selective mutism isn't something I know much about other than things I've read which are usually part of other descriptions (if that makes sense?).
Do you find there are a shortage of therapists who could help in general or is it more to do with finding someone who accepts Medicare? I hope someone can find or suggest something useful for you xx xx
It's a combination of everything.
Having worked in the mental health field myself, I've seen things that make me queasy.
Very tough to cope with on your own. Bonesie, I hope there is a T out there that can do something useful. Any sign of some spring weather yet? We still have grey skies and rain :) xx
Thanks, Tupp.
There's a lot I need to deal with and trying to find the resources is daunting, especially since I no longer have any kind of support system around me...part of the problem of getting older.
It's raining right now so I'm cooped up.
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((((((((((Bones))))))))))))))))
It always seems so odd to me that we have billions of people on the planet, enormous amounts of knowledge and information, mind blowing pieces of technology that can do all sorts of incredible things - yet we fail on the basic stuff like health and just supporting people when they need it. We seem to be capable of so much and yet sometimes achieve so little. Often it just takes a little bit of effort or organising to make such a difference to people's lives but it doesn't seem to happen. I don't know why. I'm sorry it's not easier for you. And the rain doesn't help! It looks like it's going to rain here, I'm just waiting to see what it decides to do :) xx
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((((((((((Bones))))))))))))))))
It always seems so odd to me that we have billions of people on the planet, enormous amounts of knowledge and information, mind blowing pieces of technology that can do all sorts of incredible things - yet we fail on the basic stuff like health and just supporting people when they need it. We seem to be capable of so much and yet sometimes achieve so little. Often it just takes a little bit of effort or organising to make such a difference to people's lives but it doesn't seem to happen. I don't know why. I'm sorry it's not easier for you. And the rain doesn't help! It looks like it's going to rain here, I'm just waiting to see what it decides to do :) xx
Thanks, Tupp.
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Bonesie, we've had nothing but rain! Spring just sort of vanished - there's blossom all over the roads where the rain has lashed it out of the trees :) A memo was going around on Facebook from a conservation group about helping the bees - because it was warm and then got cold a lot of them sort of go into a coma and need sugar water to get them going again. Sure enough, the next day there was one on the floor of the landing, alive but just lying there, so we mixed some honey and water together and dipped a cotton bud into it and then slid that under him. He had a little feed and it was like his batteries recharged; he started to buzz and his wings started flapping and off he went outside to find some proper nectar :) Hopefully he's still going :) How's the weather like with you now, has it perked up at all?
Love Tup xx
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Bonesie, we've had nothing but rain! Spring just sort of vanished - there's blossom all over the roads where the rain has lashed it out of the trees :) A memo was going around on Facebook from a conservation group about helping the bees - because it was warm and then got cold a lot of them sort of go into a coma and need sugar water to get them going again. Sure enough, the next day there was one on the floor of the landing, alive but just lying there, so we mixed some honey and water together and dipped a cotton bud into it and then slid that under him. He had a little feed and it was like his batteries recharged; he started to buzz and his wings started flapping and off he went outside to find some proper nectar :) Hopefully he's still going :) How's the weather like with you now, has it perked up at all?
Love Tup xx
I'm glad that bee is okay. It's finally starting to warm up around here.
Also, while I was perusing reddit, I spotted this and it felt so painfully familiar:
A Narcissist's Prayer
That didn't happen.
And if it did, it wasn't that bad.
And if it was, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did... You deserved it.
URGH! Makes me want to go back in time and slap a BEEYOTCH or three!
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Bonesie, we've had nothing but rain! Spring just sort of vanished - there's blossom all over the roads where the rain has lashed it out of the trees :) A memo was going around on Facebook from a conservation group about helping the bees - because it was warm and then got cold a lot of them sort of go into a coma and need sugar water to get them going again. Sure enough, the next day there was one on the floor of the landing, alive but just lying there, so we mixed some honey and water together and dipped a cotton bud into it and then slid that under him. He had a little feed and it was like his batteries recharged; he started to buzz and his wings started flapping and off he went outside to find some proper nectar :) Hopefully he's still going :) How's the weather like with you now, has it perked up at all?
Love Tup xx
I'm glad that bee is okay. It's finally starting to warm up around here.
Also, while I was perusing reddit, I spotted this and it felt so painfully familiar:
A Narcissist's Prayer
That didn't happen.
And if it did, it wasn't that bad.
And if it was, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did... You deserved it.
URGH! Makes me want to go back in time and slap a BEEYOTCH or three!
Argh, yes, I think a slap or two (or three!) is justified in some situations, the prayer is very apt! And crazy making, funnily enough I was thinking today about how there are some people you can't discuss a situation with because they won't hear anything except for their own version of events - which is different to yours. We do all take different perspectives on the same situations at times, I think that's human nature but yes, my mum is the queen of living in a world of her own making and rewriting everything that happened :) I remember once when we were kids listening to her tell someone these stories of family picnics and outings and all these wonderful adventures that happened and I was thinking, who's she talking about? And it was us! Lol. Only happened in her mind :) I'm glad the weather is warming up a bit, it's lovely here at the moment and I'm enjoying sitting outside with my cuppa :) xx
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Bonesie, we've had nothing but rain! Spring just sort of vanished - there's blossom all over the roads where the rain has lashed it out of the trees :) A memo was going around on Facebook from a conservation group about helping the bees - because it was warm and then got cold a lot of them sort of go into a coma and need sugar water to get them going again. Sure enough, the next day there was one on the floor of the landing, alive but just lying there, so we mixed some honey and water together and dipped a cotton bud into it and then slid that under him. He had a little feed and it was like his batteries recharged; he started to buzz and his wings started flapping and off he went outside to find some proper nectar :) Hopefully he's still going :) How's the weather like with you now, has it perked up at all?
Love Tup xx
I'm glad that bee is okay. It's finally starting to warm up around here.
Also, while I was perusing reddit, I spotted this and it felt so painfully familiar:
A Narcissist's Prayer
That didn't happen.
And if it did, it wasn't that bad.
And if it was, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did... You deserved it.
URGH! Makes me want to go back in time and slap a BEEYOTCH or three!
Argh, yes, I think a slap or two (or three!) is justified in some situations, the prayer is very apt! And crazy making, funnily enough I was thinking today about how there are some people you can't discuss a situation with because they won't hear anything except for their own version of events - which is different to yours. We do all take different perspectives on the same situations at times, I think that's human nature but yes, my mum is the queen of living in a world of her own making and rewriting everything that happened :) I remember once when we were kids listening to her tell someone these stories of family picnics and outings and all these wonderful adventures that happened and I was thinking, who's she talking about? And it was us! Lol. Only happened in her mind :) I'm glad the weather is warming up a bit, it's lovely here at the moment and I'm enjoying sitting outside with my cuppa :) xx
I know the feeling!
We've had a bit of a heat wave here with the air quality in Code Orange, which can be hazardous for asthma. Not fun. I had to be out in it as I had to go see the eye doctor the other day and ended up with having laser surgery on my left eye.
It's a drag getting old.
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I feel like I need to SCREAM somewhere....I AM SO FRUSTRATED!!!!! :evil:
One of my cousins contacted me regarding my doing genealogical research on her behalf. I sent her a contract outlining all the terms, fees, etc., including the fact that a retainer is required to be sent with the contract. (She knows this is my home-based business.)
I thought she had read that contract COMPLETELY from top to bottom BEFORE signing it and mailing it back to me with the retainer.
What does she say to me a few moments ago? QUOTE: "I ASSUMED that (retainer price) was the TOTAL PRICE and don't copies only cost a dime apiece?!?!
WHAT THE FLYING F**K?!?!?!
That tells me that AFTER ALL THE WORK TO MAKE SURE THE CONTRACT COVERS EVERYTHING, SHE DIDN'T READ A DAMN THING!!!!
F**K!!!! F**K!!! F**K!!!! DAMMIT!!!!
I HATE IT WHEN IDIOTS AND A$$HOLES DO THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
F**KING BLOODY H3LL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Ah, Bones, there is nothing more frustrating than people not reading what's in front of them, especially when you've put it all out there so clearly! And when people say things like "well copies only cost x" - it's your time and expertise that counts not sticking something in a photocopier! Some people are just cheeky.
I'm sorry about your eye; I am so squeemish when it comes to eye balls that the thought of any kind of surgery makes my toes curl! I hope it wasn't too painful; is that the kind they do to correct sight or is it more to do with cataracts? I hope whatever it was for it has helped and not held you back too much since xx
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Ah, Bones, there is nothing more frustrating than people not reading what's in front of them, especially when you've put it all out there so clearly! And when people say things like "well copies only cost x" - it's your time and expertise that counts not sticking something in a photocopier! Some people are just cheeky.
I'm sorry about your eye; I am so squeemish when it comes to eye balls that the thought of any kind of surgery makes my toes curl! I hope it wasn't too painful; is that the kind they do to correct sight or is it more to do with cataracts? I hope whatever it was for it has helped and not held you back too much since xx
Thanks, Tupp!
I get so aggravated when I put in a lot of work into a contract to make sure all the "i's" are dotted, all the "t's" are crossed, with everything clearly spelled out to ensure a meeting of the minds only to have the client not bother to read any of it along with comments starting with: "But I assumed....blah, blah, blah!" I HATE THAT CRAP!!!! I've encountered some idiots who tried to insist they shouldn't be held accountable to a contract they SIGNED simply because they didn't bother to read it BEFORE SIGNING IT!!! I recall watching Judge Judy, on television, ripping a defendant a new A$$HOLE when they tried that defense! It was NOT pretty! The defendant was ordered to PAY for the work that was done according to the terms of the contract that they signed!
The eye surgery involved using a laser because the doctor discovered that my retina had torn and bled. That was kinda-sorta an emergency to prevent my retina from detaching completely. Not fun either way and I had no choice.
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Ah, Bones, there is nothing more frustrating than people not reading what's in front of them, especially when you've put it all out there so clearly! And when people say things like "well copies only cost x" - it's your time and expertise that counts not sticking something in a photocopier! Some people are just cheeky.
I'm sorry about your eye; I am so squeemish when it comes to eye balls that the thought of any kind of surgery makes my toes curl! I hope it wasn't too painful; is that the kind they do to correct sight or is it more to do with cataracts? I hope whatever it was for it has helped and not held you back too much since xx
Thanks, Tupp!
I get so aggravated when I put in a lot of work into a contract to make sure all the "i's" are dotted, all the "t's" are crossed, with everything clearly spelled out to ensure a meeting of the minds only to have the client not bother to read any of it along with comments starting with: "But I assumed....blah, blah, blah!" I HATE THAT CRAP!!!! I've encountered some idiots who tried to insist they shouldn't be held accountable to a contract they SIGNED simply because they didn't bother to read it BEFORE SIGNING IT!!! I recall watching Judge Judy, on television, ripping a defendant a new A$$HOLE when they tried that defense! It was NOT pretty! The defendant was ordered to PAY for the work that was done according to the terms of the contract that they signed!
The eye surgery involved using a laser because the doctor discovered that my retina had torn and bled. That was kinda-sorta an emergency to prevent my retina from detaching completely. Not fun either way and I had no choice.
Ooh, Bones, the eye surgery sounds very unpleasant, I hope it all heals up okay, I don't even like having an eye test for new glasses so the thought of surgery is not a happy one. I hope it's all okay now, difficult when we have to have unpleasant procedures but, like you say, the alternative is even less pleasant so sometimes we just have no choice in the matter.
Yes, people not reading or just expecting you to do everything for them, it frustrates me so much. I have it all the time with my son; I send in reams of paperwork, reports, observations, etc etc and you can tell from the responses we get back that no-one's read any of it; it's easier for them to sit there and have me spoon feed them the information each time. No regard for how it feels for my son to listen to a long list of negatives every time we see someone (and of course, as we're asking for help, we have to focus on the negatives as that's what we need the help with!). The last time the education panel asked for a meeting I refused; I said I had nothing more to say, I'd sent in all the information we had along with my own thoughts and observations and my son's own requests and so I had no more information to give. It's very frustrating when people think their time is more important than yours and so think nothing of you putting all that work in but don't see why they should spend half an hour reading it! Bones, I think you would make a good Judge Judy!! Lol xx xx
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Ah, Bones, there is nothing more frustrating than people not reading what's in front of them, especially when you've put it all out there so clearly! And when people say things like "well copies only cost x" - it's your time and expertise that counts not sticking something in a photocopier! Some people are just cheeky.
I'm sorry about your eye; I am so squeemish when it comes to eye balls that the thought of any kind of surgery makes my toes curl! I hope it wasn't too painful; is that the kind they do to correct sight or is it more to do with cataracts? I hope whatever it was for it has helped and not held you back too much since xx
Thanks, Tupp!
I get so aggravated when I put in a lot of work into a contract to make sure all the "i's" are dotted, all the "t's" are crossed, with everything clearly spelled out to ensure a meeting of the minds only to have the client not bother to read any of it along with comments starting with: "But I assumed....blah, blah, blah!" I HATE THAT CRAP!!!! I've encountered some idiots who tried to insist they shouldn't be held accountable to a contract they SIGNED simply because they didn't bother to read it BEFORE SIGNING IT!!! I recall watching Judge Judy, on television, ripping a defendant a new A$$HOLE when they tried that defense! It was NOT pretty! The defendant was ordered to PAY for the work that was done according to the terms of the contract that they signed!
The eye surgery involved using a laser because the doctor discovered that my retina had torn and bled. That was kinda-sorta an emergency to prevent my retina from detaching completely. Not fun either way and I had no choice.
Ooh, Bones, the eye surgery sounds very unpleasant, I hope it all heals up okay, I don't even like having an eye test for new glasses so the thought of surgery is not a happy one. I hope it's all okay now, difficult when we have to have unpleasant procedures but, like you say, the alternative is even less pleasant so sometimes we just have no choice in the matter.
Yes, people not reading or just expecting you to do everything for them, it frustrates me so much. I have it all the time with my son; I send in reams of paperwork, reports, observations, etc etc and you can tell from the responses we get back that no-one's read any of it; it's easier for them to sit there and have me spoon feed them the information each time. No regard for how it feels for my son to listen to a long list of negatives every time we see someone (and of course, as we're asking for help, we have to focus on the negatives as that's what we need the help with!). The last time the education panel asked for a meeting I refused; I said I had nothing more to say, I'd sent in all the information we had along with my own thoughts and observations and my son's own requests and so I had no more information to give. It's very frustrating when people think their time is more important than yours and so think nothing of you putting all that work in but don't see why they should spend half an hour reading it! Bones, I think you would make a good Judge Judy!! Lol xx xx
Thanks, Tupp.
I'm trying to take things one day at a time. I had a follow up appointment this past Thursday and have to go back in two weeks for another follow up.
LOL about Judge Judy!
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Hey, Bonesie, how are you doing? Have you had your check ups for your eye yet? Hope everything is healing up well and not causing you any problems :) Has the weather improved yet? It's so changeable here at the minute, during the week we walked into the cinema in scorching heat and we came out three hours later to cold rain and damp mist. People were standing at the station shivering in their shorts. It's so easy to get caught out. Has rained for three days straight now and two new cats have appeared in the neighbourhood - one all black like a witch's cat and one that looks like Sylvester (I tort I taw a Putty Tat, that one ;) ). Look v cute, I will attempt to befriend them and find out who they live with :) xx
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Hey, Bonesie, how are you doing? Have you had your check ups for your eye yet? Hope everything is healing up well and not causing you any problems :) Has the weather improved yet? It's so changeable here at the minute, during the week we walked into the cinema in scorching heat and we came out three hours later to cold rain and damp mist. People were standing at the station shivering in their shorts. It's so easy to get caught out. Has rained for three days straight now and two new cats have appeared in the neighbourhood - one all black like a witch's cat and one that looks like Sylvester (I tort I taw a Putty Tat, that one ;) ). Look v cute, I will attempt to befriend them and find out who they live with :) xx
Hi, Tupp.
So far, the eye doctor tells me that my retina is healing. He wants to check it again around the middle of June.
The weather here is just as crazy....raining one minute, hot the next, then back to rain. UGH!
Those kitties sound CUTE!!!!!!!! :)
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Ah, Bones, there is nothing more frustrating than people not reading what's in front of them, especially when you've put it all out there so clearly! And when people say things like "well copies only cost x" - it's your time and expertise that counts not sticking something in a photocopier! Some people are just cheeky.
I'm sorry about your eye; I am so squeemish when it comes to eye balls that the thought of any kind of surgery makes my toes curl! I hope it wasn't too painful; is that the kind they do to correct sight or is it more to do with cataracts? I hope whatever it was for it has helped and not held you back too much since xx
Thanks, Tupp!
I get so aggravated when I put in a lot of work into a contract to make sure all the "i's" are dotted, all the "t's" are crossed, with everything clearly spelled out to ensure a meeting of the minds only to have the client not bother to read any of it along with comments starting with: "But I assumed....blah, blah, blah!" I HATE THAT CRAP!!!! I've encountered some idiots who tried to insist they shouldn't be held accountable to a contract they SIGNED simply because they didn't bother to read it BEFORE SIGNING IT!!! I recall watching Judge Judy, on television, ripping a defendant a new A$$HOLE when they tried that defense! It was NOT pretty! The defendant was ordered to PAY for the work that was done according to the terms of the contract that they signed!
The eye surgery involved using a laser because the doctor discovered that my retina had torn and bled. That was kinda-sorta an emergency to prevent my retina from detaching completely. Not fun either way and I had no choice.
And the !@#$#@% AGGRAVATION is BACK AGAIN because the client DIDN'T BOTHER TO READ THE CONTRACT!!!!!!!!!
The contract CLEARLY states that the retainer I charge covers the first hour of researching. After the first hour, then the rate switches over to $21.00 an hour while researching. The client's request turned out to have an unexpected complication which added on to my research time to get it resolved. I send the client my invoice for services rendered, charging her for THREE HOURS of researching PLUS the cost of copying over 100 pages, and she responds: "Why can't you just subtract your retainer from what you sent me?"
!@##@!@#!#%#%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Ah, Bones, there is nothing more frustrating than people not reading what's in front of them, especially when you've put it all out there so clearly! And when people say things like "well copies only cost x" - it's your time and expertise that counts not sticking something in a photocopier! Some people are just cheeky.
I'm sorry about your eye; I am so squeemish when it comes to eye balls that the thought of any kind of surgery makes my toes curl! I hope it wasn't too painful; is that the kind they do to correct sight or is it more to do with cataracts? I hope whatever it was for it has helped and not held you back too much since xx
Thanks, Tupp!
I get so aggravated when I put in a lot of work into a contract to make sure all the "i's" are dotted, all the "t's" are crossed, with everything clearly spelled out to ensure a meeting of the minds only to have the client not bother to read any of it along with comments starting with: "But I assumed....blah, blah, blah!" I HATE THAT CRAP!!!! I've encountered some idiots who tried to insist they shouldn't be held accountable to a contract they SIGNED simply because they didn't bother to read it BEFORE SIGNING IT!!! I recall watching Judge Judy, on television, ripping a defendant a new A$$HOLE when they tried that defense! It was NOT pretty! The defendant was ordered to PAY for the work that was done according to the terms of the contract that they signed!
The eye surgery involved using a laser because the doctor discovered that my retina had torn and bled. That was kinda-sorta an emergency to prevent my retina from detaching completely. Not fun either way and I had no choice.
And the !@#$#@% AGGRAVATION is BACK AGAIN because the client DIDN'T BOTHER TO READ THE CONTRACT!!!!!!!!!
The contract CLEARLY states that the retainer I charge covers the first hour of researching. After the first hour, then the rate switches over to $21.00 an hour while researching. The client's request turned out to have an unexpected complication which added on to my research time to get it resolved. I send the client my invoice for services rendered, charging her for THREE HOURS of researching PLUS the cost of copying over 100 pages, and she responds: "Why can't you just subtract your retainer from what you sent me?"
!@##@!@#!#%#%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh, Bones, what is wrong with people?! And a hundred pages of information, that's a huge amount of work that you've put in for her! I don't get what some people are like; I'd be embarrassed to ask for what is effectively a discount? Surely the fact they're not doing the work themselves shows the value of it, or they'd just do it without getting anyone involved. These people are not good for blood pressure! Is your retina still healing up okay?
The weather is still crazy here as well. Yesterday morning it was so windy and chilly out I had to go and put a jumper on. We went out in the afternoon and it got so hot we were both stripped down to vest tops and sweaty :) It felt like we'd moved to a different country over the lunch hour, very weird.
Those kitties were so cute but I haven't seen them again so I don't know if they were just visiting or perhaps had wandered a bit further from home than usual. Our downstairs neighbours have separated and the lady moved out, leaving their six cats with the man, as they didn't think it was fair to split them up. I was working near the window last night and I heard her come to visit them and bless her, she was crying because she misses them so much. They're lovely cats and I agree with them, it's not fair to split the pack as they've all been together for so long (over ten years, I think). But it was sad to hear her upset, I'm sure the cats miss her as well. One of them is funny, he sits on the shed roof looking out over the neighbouring garden and when he sees another cat in it he puts his paw up as if he's waving at them :) xx
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Ah, Bones, there is nothing more frustrating than people not reading what's in front of them, especially when you've put it all out there so clearly! And when people say things like "well copies only cost x" - it's your time and expertise that counts not sticking something in a photocopier! Some people are just cheeky.
I'm sorry about your eye; I am so squeemish when it comes to eye balls that the thought of any kind of surgery makes my toes curl! I hope it wasn't too painful; is that the kind they do to correct sight or is it more to do with cataracts? I hope whatever it was for it has helped and not held you back too much since xx
Thanks, Tupp!
I get so aggravated when I put in a lot of work into a contract to make sure all the "i's" are dotted, all the "t's" are crossed, with everything clearly spelled out to ensure a meeting of the minds only to have the client not bother to read any of it along with comments starting with: "But I assumed....blah, blah, blah!" I HATE THAT CRAP!!!! I've encountered some idiots who tried to insist they shouldn't be held accountable to a contract they SIGNED simply because they didn't bother to read it BEFORE SIGNING IT!!! I recall watching Judge Judy, on television, ripping a defendant a new A$$HOLE when they tried that defense! It was NOT pretty! The defendant was ordered to PAY for the work that was done according to the terms of the contract that they signed!
The eye surgery involved using a laser because the doctor discovered that my retina had torn and bled. That was kinda-sorta an emergency to prevent my retina from detaching completely. Not fun either way and I had no choice.
And the !@#$#@% AGGRAVATION is BACK AGAIN because the client DIDN'T BOTHER TO READ THE CONTRACT!!!!!!!!!
The contract CLEARLY states that the retainer I charge covers the first hour of researching. After the first hour, then the rate switches over to $21.00 an hour while researching. The client's request turned out to have an unexpected complication which added on to my research time to get it resolved. I send the client my invoice for services rendered, charging her for THREE HOURS of researching PLUS the cost of copying over 100 pages, and she responds: "Why can't you just subtract your retainer from what you sent me?"
!@##@!@#!#%#%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh, Bones, what is wrong with people?! And a hundred pages of information, that's a huge amount of work that you've put in for her! I don't get what some people are like; I'd be embarrassed to ask for what is effectively a discount? Surely the fact they're not doing the work themselves shows the value of it, or they'd just do it without getting anyone involved. These people are not good for blood pressure! Is your retina still healing up okay?
The weather is still crazy here as well. Yesterday morning it was so windy and chilly out I had to go and put a jumper on. We went out in the afternoon and it got so hot we were both stripped down to vest tops and sweaty :) It felt like we'd moved to a different country over the lunch hour, very weird.
Those kitties were so cute but I haven't seen them again so I don't know if they were just visiting or perhaps had wandered a bit further from home than usual. Our downstairs neighbours have separated and the lady moved out, leaving their six cats with the man, as they didn't think it was fair to split them up. I was working near the window last night and I heard her come to visit them and bless her, she was crying because she misses them so much. They're lovely cats and I agree with them, it's not fair to split the pack as they've all been together for so long (over ten years, I think). But it was sad to hear her upset, I'm sure the cats miss her as well. One of them is funny, he sits on the shed roof looking out over the neighbouring garden and when he sees another cat in it he puts his paw up as if he's waving at them :) xx
Thanks, Tupp! I've lost count of the number of idiots I've encountered who seem to think that "Freelance = Free Work" and try to finagle all kinds of creative ways to not pay. It's AGGRAVATING!!!! I have another follow up appointment with the eye doctor next week to see how the surgical site is healing. The weather here is kinda crazy sometimes so I never know how to dress...hot, cold, hot, cold....UGH!
A cat that waves to visitors.....that is CUTE and FUNNY!!!! LOL!!!
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I think a lot of people are just on the make these days. Part of the problem (here in the UK, anyway) is a lot of big companies will haggle, reduce prices, give out freebies and so on, just to shut people up quickly. It's created a lot of blaggers. But obviously for small businesses or independent freelancers every penny is your livelihood and I don't think people realise they're actually paying for your time, experience, knowledge and so on, not some big faceless warehouse that's owned by a large corporate. I'm glad you stood your ground and I hope your eye appointment goes well.
The waving cat is so cute! I've tried to video him doing it but I've not been quick enough to catch it. He's so funny. I was talking to a lady in the park yesterday and she was telling me that their cat walks to school with the kids in the morning and then finds his own way home again, apparently he's a bit of a local celebrity! Ours brought in a mouse last night and I found it this morning with its head chewed off; there are some aspects of cats that aren't quite so lovely! Lol xx
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I think a lot of people are just on the make these days. Part of the problem (here in the UK, anyway) is a lot of big companies will haggle, reduce prices, give out freebies and so on, just to shut people up quickly. It's created a lot of blaggers. But obviously for small businesses or independent freelancers every penny is your livelihood and I don't think people realise they're actually paying for your time, experience, knowledge and so on, not some big faceless warehouse that's owned by a large corporate. I'm glad you stood your ground and I hope your eye appointment goes well.
The waving cat is so cute! I've tried to video him doing it but I've not been quick enough to catch it. He's so funny. I was talking to a lady in the park yesterday and she was telling me that their cat walks to school with the kids in the morning and then finds his own way home again, apparently he's a bit of a local celebrity! Ours brought in a mouse last night and I found it this morning with its head chewed off; there are some aspects of cats that aren't quite so lovely! Lol xx
Thanks, Tupp!
I had one idiot literally scream at me: "Your fees are too high!" and tried to act as if I'm greedy. I responded with what expenses those fees cover, (1) the commute to the National Archives, (2) copying the documents the idiot wanted, (3) snail-mailing said documents that are usually LEGAL-SIZE 8.5 inches by 14 inches, (4) cost of Internet access, (5) post office box rental as where I live has rules against running a business using your home address, (6) computer and printer costs, (7) electricity to be able to use the computer, printer and Internet.... by this point, the idiot is apologizing profusely and promises he won't bother me again. SMDH!
Regarding the cat leaving his catch where you found it...I've heard of cats doing that as a way of showing their love and affection to their humans. Unpleasant, yes. At the same time, Cat Gotta Cat. (I often wonder about cat psychology and what goes on inside their furry little heads.) They can be cute and funny and other times they can be just EW!!!!
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Ah, Bones, there is nothing more frustrating than people not reading what's in front of them, especially when you've put it all out there so clearly! And when people say things like "well copies only cost x" - it's your time and expertise that counts not sticking something in a photocopier! Some people are just cheeky.
I'm sorry about your eye; I am so squeemish when it comes to eye balls that the thought of any kind of surgery makes my toes curl! I hope it wasn't too painful; is that the kind they do to correct sight or is it more to do with cataracts? I hope whatever it was for it has helped and not held you back too much since xx
Thanks, Tupp!
I get so aggravated when I put in a lot of work into a contract to make sure all the "i's" are dotted, all the "t's" are crossed, with everything clearly spelled out to ensure a meeting of the minds only to have the client not bother to read any of it along with comments starting with: "But I assumed....blah, blah, blah!" I HATE THAT CRAP!!!! I've encountered some idiots who tried to insist they shouldn't be held accountable to a contract they SIGNED simply because they didn't bother to read it BEFORE SIGNING IT!!! I recall watching Judge Judy, on television, ripping a defendant a new A$$HOLE when they tried that defense! It was NOT pretty! The defendant was ordered to PAY for the work that was done according to the terms of the contract that they signed!
The eye surgery involved using a laser because the doctor discovered that my retina had torn and bled. That was kinda-sorta an emergency to prevent my retina from detaching completely. Not fun either way and I had no choice.
And the !@#$#@% AGGRAVATION is BACK AGAIN because the client DIDN'T BOTHER TO READ THE CONTRACT!!!!!!!!!
The contract CLEARLY states that the retainer I charge covers the first hour of researching. After the first hour, then the rate switches over to $21.00 an hour while researching. The client's request turned out to have an unexpected complication which added on to my research time to get it resolved. I send the client my invoice for services rendered, charging her for THREE HOURS of researching PLUS the cost of copying over 100 pages, and she responds: "Why can't you just subtract your retainer from what you sent me?"
!@##@!@#!#%#%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
To add to this....
The National Archives charges different fees for their copies depending on what and where it is located in the building.
For example, if the documents are stored on the second floor of the building, (which has high security), they charge 25 cents per page on their copy machines; if the documents are on microfilm, they charge 40 cents per page. If the client wants several pages of both microfilm copies AND copies of the documents on the second floor.....yeah, that adds up quickly!!!! That doesn't include the cost of using their computers and printers to print out copies of documents off of their website so the combined costs is $1.00 per page.
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This is the trouble, Bonesie, there are a lot of people that just don't realise how much things cost. I've got an old printer/photocopier at home and obviously using that is cheaper than paying to have it done, but a lot of the time I have so much to print out or photocopy that I have to go to the library and even at their cheaper rates I can easily spend £8-£10 on a batch of paperwork and then the same again to post it securely. It mounts up; I have no idea why people think they can get things for free! It's a good job you're a bad ass and you don't let them walk all over you :)
Yes I've heard that deceased offerings are a sign of affection, lol, I just find tripping over them at 6 in the morning a bit much :) She put a dead mouse in my son's shoe once, lol. She bought a live mouse in the other week, my son, bless him, so patient, he sat watching it, we put some bits of food in a plastic box and he sat there for ages until the mouse went in to get the food and then put a piece of cardboard over the top so we could take it outside. Cute little thing, he was nibbling away on a piece of cheese looking quite happy :) xx
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This is the trouble, Bonesie, there are a lot of people that just don't realise how much things cost. I've got an old printer/photocopier at home and obviously using that is cheaper than paying to have it done, but a lot of the time I have so much to print out or photocopy that I have to go to the library and even at their cheaper rates I can easily spend £8-£10 on a batch of paperwork and then the same again to post it securely. It mounts up; I have no idea why people think they can get things for free! It's a good job you're a bad ass and you don't let them walk all over you :)
Yes I've heard that deceased offerings are a sign of affection, lol, I just find tripping over them at 6 in the morning a bit much :) She put a dead mouse in my son's shoe once, lol. She bought a live mouse in the other week, my son, bless him, so patient, he sat watching it, we put some bits of food in a plastic box and he sat there for ages until the mouse went in to get the food and then put a piece of cardboard over the top so we could take it outside. Cute little thing, he was nibbling away on a piece of cheese looking quite happy :) xx
Thanks, Tupp!
I have to be a bad-ass in order to protect myself.
I know I'm not the only one who encounters this stupid A$$ $H!T! One year, I was at a sheep and wool festival and was admiring some hand-made spinning wheels. These spinning wheels were FULL SIZE for spinning yarn and a LOT of work went into building them! Because of the way spinning wheels are designed, they HAVE TO BE BUILT BY HAND! They CANNOT be mass-produced in a factory! As a result, yes, spinning wheels can be pricey. Anyway, the hand-built spinning wheels I was admiring are GORGEOUS and I was thinking about how much work went into each detail when this FOOL, standing next to me, looks at the price and starts screeching and throwing a lawn tantrum about how they COST TOO MUCH and the vendor is GREEDY!!! I wanted to B!TCH-SLAP that A$$HOLE so bad!!!
Cats and living mice are CUTE!!! Dead things....not so much! Mouse in a shoe?!?!?! EWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!
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This is the trouble, Bonesie, there are a lot of people that just don't realise how much things cost. I've got an old printer/photocopier at home and obviously using that is cheaper than paying to have it done, but a lot of the time I have so much to print out or photocopy that I have to go to the library and even at their cheaper rates I can easily spend £8-£10 on a batch of paperwork and then the same again to post it securely. It mounts up; I have no idea why people think they can get things for free! It's a good job you're a bad ass and you don't let them walk all over you :)
Yes I've heard that deceased offerings are a sign of affection, lol, I just find tripping over them at 6 in the morning a bit much :) She put a dead mouse in my son's shoe once, lol. She bought a live mouse in the other week, my son, bless him, so patient, he sat watching it, we put some bits of food in a plastic box and he sat there for ages until the mouse went in to get the food and then put a piece of cardboard over the top so we could take it outside. Cute little thing, he was nibbling away on a piece of cheese looking quite happy :) xx
Thanks, Tupp!
I have to be a bad-ass in order to protect myself.
I know I'm not the only one who encounters this stupid A$$ $H!T! One year, I was at a sheep and wool festival and was admiring some hand-made spinning wheels. These spinning wheels were FULL SIZE for spinning yarn and a LOT of work went into building them! Because of the way spinning wheels are designed, they HAVE TO BE BUILT BY HAND! They CANNOT be mass-produced in a factory! As a result, yes, spinning wheels can be pricey. Anyway, the hand-built spinning wheels I was admiring are GORGEOUS and I was thinking about how much work went into each detail when this FOOL, standing next to me, looks at the price and starts screeching and throwing a lawn tantrum about how they COST TOO MUCH and the vendor is GREEDY!!! I wanted to B!TCH-SLAP that A$$HOLE so bad!!!
Cats and living mice are CUTE!!! Dead things....not so much! Mouse in a shoe?!?!?! EWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!
Lol, the mouse in the shoe wasn't a great moment, my son wasn't impressed! Yes, being a bad ass is necessary, and I think people don't appreciate or understand craftsmanship anymore because so much crap is mass produced and identical to everything else, which is what makes it cheap. We went on a day trip to France with a friend and we were admiring the pastries and cakes in the windows of the patisseries. They're all handmade and are like little works of art, so amazing to look at and undoubtedly delicious. But my friend was complaining about the price (we weren't even buying, just looking) and yes, it's like you say, these are handmade delicacies, not a packet of doughnuts from the supermarket. One day I want to go to Paris, in the sunshine, and sit outside a cafe with a delicious handmade cake and a cafe au lait and pretend to be French :) Lol xx
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This is the trouble, Bonesie, there are a lot of people that just don't realise how much things cost. I've got an old printer/photocopier at home and obviously using that is cheaper than paying to have it done, but a lot of the time I have so much to print out or photocopy that I have to go to the library and even at their cheaper rates I can easily spend £8-£10 on a batch of paperwork and then the same again to post it securely. It mounts up; I have no idea why people think they can get things for free! It's a good job you're a bad ass and you don't let them walk all over you :)
Yes I've heard that deceased offerings are a sign of affection, lol, I just find tripping over them at 6 in the morning a bit much :) She put a dead mouse in my son's shoe once, lol. She bought a live mouse in the other week, my son, bless him, so patient, he sat watching it, we put some bits of food in a plastic box and he sat there for ages until the mouse went in to get the food and then put a piece of cardboard over the top so we could take it outside. Cute little thing, he was nibbling away on a piece of cheese looking quite happy :) xx
Thanks, Tupp!
I have to be a bad-ass in order to protect myself.
I know I'm not the only one who encounters this stupid A$$ $H!T! One year, I was at a sheep and wool festival and was admiring some hand-made spinning wheels. These spinning wheels were FULL SIZE for spinning yarn and a LOT of work went into building them! Because of the way spinning wheels are designed, they HAVE TO BE BUILT BY HAND! They CANNOT be mass-produced in a factory! As a result, yes, spinning wheels can be pricey. Anyway, the hand-built spinning wheels I was admiring are GORGEOUS and I was thinking about how much work went into each detail when this FOOL, standing next to me, looks at the price and starts screeching and throwing a lawn tantrum about how they COST TOO MUCH and the vendor is GREEDY!!! I wanted to B!TCH-SLAP that A$$HOLE so bad!!!
Cats and living mice are CUTE!!! Dead things....not so much! Mouse in a shoe?!?!?! EWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!
Lol, the mouse in the shoe wasn't a great moment, my son wasn't impressed! Yes, being a bad ass is necessary, and I think people don't appreciate or understand craftsmanship anymore because so much crap is mass produced and identical to everything else, which is what makes it cheap. We went on a day trip to France with a friend and we were admiring the pastries and cakes in the windows of the patisseries. They're all handmade and are like little works of art, so amazing to look at and undoubtedly delicious. But my friend was complaining about the price (we weren't even buying, just looking) and yes, it's like you say, these are handmade delicacies, not a packet of doughnuts from the supermarket. One day I want to go to Paris, in the sunshine, and sit outside a cafe with a delicious handmade cake and a cafe au lait and pretend to be French :) Lol xx
LOL!!!
I wish I could join you in Paris for that cake and cafe au lait. Sound DELICIOUS!!!!
I have NO patience for idiots who don't appreciate craftmanship! There was one time that someone sneered at a hand-crocheted afghan and said: "I can get this cheaper at Walmart!" Idiot got told: "Then go to Walmart! Bye-Bye!"
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Aw, Bonesie, wouldn't that be amazing, Tup and Bones outside a cafe sipping lattes and eating pastries while the sun goes down behind the Eiffel Tower :) Would be so incredible. Ooh la laaing at passing French people :) Lol. Today I'll have to settle for a cup of tea on the front step whilst talking to the cat :) Lol.
Yes it's a terrible shame that the art of craft and good workmanship is under appreciated. I was washing dishes at a friend's after a bbq last week and she had some lovely old pans that her mum had given her twenty years earlier, still going strong, still look new. It's getting harder and harder to pass things down as so much doesn't last as long any more. And yes "I can get that cheaper in ..........." - well you're not getting that cheaper, you're getting a mass produced knock off that won't last you two winters! I do think it works out cheaper in the long run to buy good quality - that's what I love finding in charity shops, a really nice piece that's well made and will last for ages but a fraction of the price you'd pay for it new - those are happy bargain days :) xx
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Aw, Bonesie, wouldn't that be amazing, Tup and Bones outside a cafe sipping lattes and eating pastries while the sun goes down behind the Eiffel Tower :) Would be so incredible. Ooh la laaing at passing French people :) Lol. Today I'll have to settle for a cup of tea on the front step whilst talking to the cat :) Lol.
Yes it's a terrible shame that the art of craft and good workmanship is under appreciated. I was washing dishes at a friend's after a bbq last week and she had some lovely old pans that her mum had given her twenty years earlier, still going strong, still look new. It's getting harder and harder to pass things down as so much doesn't last as long any more. And yes "I can get that cheaper in ..........." - well you're not getting that cheaper, you're getting a mass produced knock off that won't last you two winters! I do think it works out cheaper in the long run to buy good quality - that's what I love finding in charity shops, a really nice piece that's well made and will last for ages but a fraction of the price you'd pay for it new - those are happy bargain days :) xx
Oh yeah!
My perspective is that if one pays a cheap price, they're going to get cheap $h!t.
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My emotions are going all over the place right now and struggling with suicidal ideation. I recently had a mammogram done and they saw something suspicious. My biopsy is scheduled for July 9th and I'm scared.
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Hi Bones,
I just wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you. Please let us know when you get the results of the biopsy.
Richard
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Hi Bones,
I just wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you. Please let us know when you get the results of the biopsy.
Richard
Thanks, Richard.
I'm scared out of my mind, not knowing what to expect.
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My emotions are going all over the place right now and struggling with suicidal ideation. I recently had a mammogram done and they saw something suspicious. My biopsy is scheduled for July 9th and I'm scared.
Bones, I'm sorry to read this and wish there was something I could do other than say I am thinking of you and I hope everything turns out to be okay. I would be scared too and I know how slowly time goes when you're waiting for something like this to be checked out. You are always in my thoughts, and especially when I see a cute cat! I know you would think they're cute, too :) I am thinking of you.
Love Tupp xx
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My emotions are going all over the place right now and struggling with suicidal ideation. I recently had a mammogram done and they saw something suspicious. My biopsy is scheduled for July 9th and I'm scared.
Bones, I'm sorry to read this and wish there was something I could do other than say I am thinking of you and I hope everything turns out to be okay. I would be scared too and I know how slowly time goes when you're waiting for something like this to be checked out. You are always in my thoughts, and especially when I see a cute cat! I know you would think they're cute, too :) I am thinking of you.
Love Tupp xx
Thanks, Tupp.
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How are you doing, Bonesie, I've been thinking about you xx
We have another new cat in the area; this one has a face like Bagpuss! So cute :)
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How are you doing, Bonesie, I've been thinking about you xx
We have another new cat in the area; this one has a face like Bagpuss! So cute :)
Thanks, Tupp.
I'm still anxious about Monday's procedure.
I'm not familiar with Bagpuss. Who is Bagpuss?
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Bones, comfort and courage for your procedure.
I am so sorry you have this anxiety to go through.
It's really hard.
Thinking of you.
hugs
Hops
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Bones, comfort and courage for your procedure.
I am so sorry you have this anxiety to go through.
It's really hard.
Thinking of you.
hugs
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
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Bones, Bagpuss was a cat in a kids' show when I was small, very cute! I don't think he's on TV here anymore but you can still buy the toys - here's a YouTube clip :)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Lies5RLPIE
The one I saw in the garden had the same sort of face but wasn't pink :) Lol
I hope things go okay on Monday. I find waiting for things I'm anxious about so difficult to deal with. I'm thinking of you Bonesie, lots of love xx xx
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Bones, Bagpuss was a cat in a kids' show when I was small, very cute! I don't think he's on TV here anymore but you can still buy the toys - here's a YouTube clip :)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Lies5RLPIE
The one I saw in the garden had the same sort of face but wasn't pink :) Lol
I hope things go okay on Monday. I find waiting for things I'm anxious about so difficult to deal with. I'm thinking of you Bonesie, lots of love xx xx
That is a cute cartoon with the stop-motion technology that was used way back when. And to see a live cat that resembles Bagpuss....LOL!!!!
I'm still anxious about Monday and I appreciate all the support you can give. Thanks.
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Bones, Bagpuss was a cat in a kids' show when I was small, very cute! I don't think he's on TV here anymore but you can still buy the toys - here's a YouTube clip :)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Lies5RLPIE
The one I saw in the garden had the same sort of face but wasn't pink :) Lol
I hope things go okay on Monday. I find waiting for things I'm anxious about so difficult to deal with. I'm thinking of you Bonesie, lots of love xx xx
That is a cute cartoon with the stop-motion technology that was used way back when. And to see a live cat that resembles Bagpuss....LOL!!!!
I'm still anxious about Monday and I appreciate all the support you can give. Thanks.
I love the old stop motion technology! My son did a workshop recently that used the new versions of everything but I'm going to do some digging and see how we can do it the old way - would be a nice thing to contrast :) And yes, that little cat had such a cute face! I haven't seen him again since, I'm assuming some new people must have moved in nearby as I've seen a few new cats over the last couple of weeks. I do love them.
You have every ounce of support and love I have, Bonesie :) It's times like these I wish we knew each other in the real world. You guys on here are some of my best friends and I would love to be able to support you the way I would with face to face friends - a nice meal, a trip out to take your mind off things, filling your freezer up with home made food so you can eat well without cooking. I think doing things for people is a nice way to show you care :) So I will keep you in my thoughts and hope very much that it all turns out to be nothing and that all is well :) xx xx
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Bones, Bagpuss was a cat in a kids' show when I was small, very cute! I don't think he's on TV here anymore but you can still buy the toys - here's a YouTube clip :)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Lies5RLPIE
The one I saw in the garden had the same sort of face but wasn't pink :) Lol
I hope things go okay on Monday. I find waiting for things I'm anxious about so difficult to deal with. I'm thinking of you Bonesie, lots of love xx xx
That is a cute cartoon with the stop-motion technology that was used way back when. And to see a live cat that resembles Bagpuss....LOL!!!!
I'm still anxious about Monday and I appreciate all the support you can give. Thanks.
I love the old stop motion technology! My son did a workshop recently that used the new versions of everything but I'm going to do some digging and see how we can do it the old way - would be a nice thing to contrast :) And yes, that little cat had such a cute face! I haven't seen him again since, I'm assuming some new people must have moved in nearby as I've seen a few new cats over the last couple of weeks. I do love them.
You have every ounce of support and love I have, Bonesie :) It's times like these I wish we knew each other in the real world. You guys on here are some of my best friends and I would love to be able to support you the way I would with face to face friends - a nice meal, a trip out to take your mind off things, filling your freezer up with home made food so you can eat well without cooking. I think doing things for people is a nice way to show you care :) So I will keep you in my thoughts and hope very much that it all turns out to be nothing and that all is well :) xx xx
Thanks, Tupp.
Your idea sounds like fun.
I had the chance to go out and attend a workshop in making drop spindles and then spinning some yarn with the spindles we made. I had fun teaching my new friends concepts such as pre-drafting and park and draft. I did have to be assertive with the person sitting behind me when she grabbed my fiber wanting to tear it apart without asking. She learned real fast I don't tolerate people grabbing my things without asking. This person had no clue about the art of spinning yarn and didn't want to listen at first until I gave her the BONES attitude. I don't understand people who think they can just grab other people's property without asking.
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Bones, I love your Bones attitude :) Yes you do get people who just don't respect boundaries or appreciate things other people are doing, or respect them. I'm glad you put her in her place. Spinning sounds amazing to learn, is it very difficult to do? xx
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Bones, I love your Bones attitude :) Yes you do get people who just don't respect boundaries or appreciate things other people are doing, or respect them. I'm glad you put her in her place. Spinning sounds amazing to learn, is it very difficult to do? xx
Thanks, Tupp!
Spinning is not that hard to learn and I find it calms me down. Maybe that's my Aspergers doing that.
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Bones, I love your Bones attitude :) Yes you do get people who just don't respect boundaries or appreciate things other people are doing, or respect them. I'm glad you put her in her place. Spinning sounds amazing to learn, is it very difficult to do? xx
I have a couple of pictures from yesterday's workshop but they might be too big to send to you.
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Send if possible/if they'll fit :) Thinking of you today, Bones, hope everything goes okay, let us all know how you're doing when you get a moment xx xx
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Send if possible/if they'll fit :) Thinking of you today, Bones, hope everything goes okay, let us all know how you're doing when you get a moment xx xx
I looked for a way to either upload the pictures and I can't find the link. I just got home from the biopsy and I'm still shaky.
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Send if possible/if they'll fit :) Thinking of you today, Bones, hope everything goes okay, let us all know how you're doing when you get a moment xx xx
I looked for a way to either upload the pictures and I can't find the link. I just got home from the biopsy and I'm still shaky.
Found the link but the photo is too large.
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Send if possible/if they'll fit :) Thinking of you today, Bones, hope everything goes okay, let us all know how you're doing when you get a moment xx xx
I looked for a way to either upload the pictures and I can't find the link. I just got home from the biopsy and I'm still shaky.
Don't worry about the pics, Bonesie, you have more important things to do right now. I'm glad it's done, at least, and you're home again. Can you snuggle yourself up on the sofa and put something you fancy on the telly? xx
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Send if possible/if they'll fit :) Thinking of you today, Bones, hope everything goes okay, let us all know how you're doing when you get a moment xx xx
I looked for a way to either upload the pictures and I can't find the link. I just got home from the biopsy and I'm still shaky.
Don't worry about the pics, Bonesie, you have more important things to do right now. I'm glad it's done, at least, and you're home again. Can you snuggle yourself up on the sofa and put something you fancy on the telly? xx
Thanks.
I feel like I want a nap instead of watching TV.
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Send if possible/if they'll fit :) Thinking of you today, Bones, hope everything goes okay, let us all know how you're doing when you get a moment xx xx
I looked for a way to either upload the pictures and I can't find the link. I just got home from the biopsy and I'm still shaky.
Don't worry about the pics, Bonesie, you have more important things to do right now. I'm glad it's done, at least, and you're home again. Can you snuggle yourself up on the sofa and put something you fancy on the telly? xx
Thanks.
I feel like I want a nap instead of watching TV.
I hope you got a nap, Bones. Are you feeling any better today? I'm not sure what the time difference is, it might still be yesterday where you are??! Time changes really melt my brain :) I hope you are feeling a bit better now. ((((((((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))))))) xx
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Send if possible/if they'll fit :) Thinking of you today, Bones, hope everything goes okay, let us all know how you're doing when you get a moment xx xx
I looked for a way to either upload the pictures and I can't find the link. I just got home from the biopsy and I'm still shaky.
Don't worry about the pics, Bonesie, you have more important things to do right now. I'm glad it's done, at least, and you're home again. Can you snuggle yourself up on the sofa and put something you fancy on the telly? xx
Thanks.
I feel like I want a nap instead of watching TV.
I hope you got a nap, Bones. Are you feeling any better today? I'm not sure what the time difference is, it might still be yesterday where you are??! Time changes really melt my brain :) I hope you are feeling a bit better now. ((((((((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))))))) xx
Thanks. It's quarter to 7 in the morning on Tuesday here and I just woke up...still sore.
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Is it easing up any, Bones? It's such a difficult place to be sore as well, you can catch yourself with your own arm so easily. I hope it's eased a bit xx
I just picked my son up from the youth club and there was a fluffy cats convention going on in the park. Three great big fluffy things, all quite young and so friendly, they all came running over wanting to be stroked and made a fuss of. I love their trusting natures. It's so lovely when someone/thing just runs at you expecting you to be nice - no fear or apprehension. So sweet. So the walk home took ages because we were distracted by the cute cats :)
I hope you feel better soon (((((((((((((((((((((Bones))))))))))))))))))))))))
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Is it easing up any, Bones? It's such a difficult place to be sore as well, you can catch yourself with your own arm so easily. I hope it's eased a bit xx
I just picked my son up from the youth club and there was a fluffy cats convention going on in the park. Three great big fluffy things, all quite young and so friendly, they all came running over wanting to be stroked and made a fuss of. I love their trusting natures. It's so lovely when someone/thing just runs at you expecting you to be nice - no fear or apprehension. So sweet. So the walk home took ages because we were distracted by the cute cats :)
I hope you feel better soon (((((((((((((((((((((Bones))))))))))))))))))))))))
Thanks, ((((((((((((((Tupp))))))))))))))))
Those fluffy cats sound so CUTE!!!!!! AWWWWWWW!!!!!!
I'm still using the ice pack instead of the Tylenol and it seems to be easing up.
Now I have to see the doctor tomorrow because the reports I'm getting through the Patient Portal are both confusing and scary. I don't know what to expect.
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The pathology reports came back but were worded in such a way that the general practitioner and physician's assistant seem to be confused. Now I'm being referred to a specialist for possible surgery and I'm scared.
There's no one here, face-to-face, that's available to assist me in dealing with this.
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Oh Bones, I'm sorry, do you know how long you have to wait to see the specialist now? Very frustrating that the report was confusing; it's so important to be clear about these things because people need to deal with the situation, whatever it may be, so clear wording is essential. I'm sorry they haven't made it clear what exactly is going on; it's another worry and an unnecessary one, really, I think people tend to cope better when they know exactly what is happening. I'm sorry there's no-one there to help, Bones. I wish I were in a position to be able to come over and help you get things sorted out a bit more easily. I hope you feel up to posting on here, at least, so we know how you're getting on. I hope you get some proper answers soon.
Love Tup xx xx
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Oh Bones, I'm sorry, do you know how long you have to wait to see the specialist now? Very frustrating that the report was confusing; it's so important to be clear about these things because people need to deal with the situation, whatever it may be, so clear wording is essential. I'm sorry they haven't made it clear what exactly is going on; it's another worry and an unnecessary one, really, I think people tend to cope better when they know exactly what is happening. I'm sorry there's no-one there to help, Bones. I wish I were in a position to be able to come over and help you get things sorted out a bit more easily. I hope you feel up to posting on here, at least, so we know how you're getting on. I hope you get some proper answers soon.
Love Tup xx xx
Thanks, Tup.
I'm scheduled to see the specialist this coming Tuesday. My anxiety is going through the roof.
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I've been trying to decompress since I saw the specialist on Tuesday.
The good news.....she informs me that it is called a hamartoma and it is benign. They want to see me in six months to check on the biopsy site and, if everything checks out okay, then it will be back to yearly check-ups in that regard.
Then Wednesday night, I had to deal with another N-relative that I want to throat-punch!
The last time I spoke with this A$$WIPE was back in 2014 when I informed the idiot that my last sibling, my NGCB, had died. (A$$WIPE had been frequently blowing up my phone demanding to know the whereabouts of NGCB. Now A$$WIPE knows. He's dead, Jim!) During that conversation, the N-relative went on a racist rant...calling my father the N-word, calling Cousin Barry the N-word, calling all biracial folks the N-word! I am BIRACIAL, PROUD TO BE BIRACIAL, and I VERBALLY BLASTED the A$$WIPE before terminating the conversation, blocking on Facebook and blocking any incoming e-mails from A$$WIPE!
I had not heard a peep from A$$WIPE until my phone started ringing way past 9:00 PM! (Folks who know me that if you call after 9:00 at night, it better damn well be an emergency or else they'll encounter the BONES ATTITUDE from the USS ENTERPRISE!) The Caller ID showed it was A$$WIPE!!!! :evil: That pissed me off! Then I thought, maybe somebody died as there are several cousins much older than I am in various stages of health issues. Against my better judgement, I answer the phone................................................ with a less than polite: "WHAT?!?!?!?" My ire increased when I realized he was either drunk or high on something and I HATE drunk-dialing FOOLS!!!!
He's spouting all kinds of B.S., which irritated me even more and then he drops this GEM OF STUPIDITY...."I haven't heard from your brother in AGES!!!! What's he up to?!?!"
Yeah, he got BLASTED AGAIN and REMINDED...AGAIN...that NGCB DIED IN 2014!"
WTF?!?!?!? :evil:
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Bones,
I'm so very glad the growth turned out benign.
I can imagine how anxious the whole wait must've felt.
What a relief!
Hops
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Bones,
I'm so very glad the growth turned out benign.
I can imagine how anxious the whole wait must've felt.
What a relief!
Hops
Thanks, Hops.
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Hi Bonesie,
Sorry not to have checked in for a while. We just moved house so it has been crazy busy plus we were without internet for a few days. For some reason I thought you were seeing the specialist this Tuesday (tomorrow), not last week. But I'm very glad to read that everything is benign. I know getting check ups is a pain but I find they help stop me worrying when I know someone is keeping an eye out on things. I hope the biopsy area is healing now and not as uncomfortable.
As for that relative - wow. Did he really not remember that your brother had died? I seem to remember you posting about this when it originally happened and that you'd been able to block him. I do remember you saying about him calling people the N word - I hate that word! Why did he phone, was he just drunk and rambling? Sometimes technology has its downsides. I think in the days when people could only communicate by letter and it was delivered on horse back they didn't have to deal with this kind of nonsense.
I hope he leaves you alone now and I'm very glad to hear that the lump isn't dangerous xx
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Hi Bonesie,
Sorry not to have checked in for a while. We just moved house so it has been crazy busy plus we were without internet for a few days. For some reason I thought you were seeing the specialist this Tuesday (tomorrow), not last week. But I'm very glad to read that everything is benign. I know getting check ups is a pain but I find they help stop me worrying when I know someone is keeping an eye out on things. I hope the biopsy area is healing now and not as uncomfortable.
As for that relative - wow. Did he really not remember that your brother had died? I seem to remember you posting about this when it originally happened and that you'd been able to block him. I do remember you saying about him calling people the N word - I hate that word! Why did he phone, was he just drunk and rambling? Sometimes technology has its downsides. I think in the days when people could only communicate by letter and it was delivered on horse back they didn't have to deal with this kind of nonsense.
I hope he leaves you alone now and I'm very glad to hear that the lump isn't dangerous xx
Thanks, Tupp!
I was so relieved when the nurse practitioner told me it's benign that I started crying in the doctor's office. I'm glad they are keeping an eye on it and know what they're talking about as opposed to the MEN in the G.P.'s office. (Long story with that!)
Yeah, Cousin JackA$$ royally pissed me off with his bloody bull$hit! He's as bad as that tangerine wankmaggot we're stuck with until the next elections! At one point, during that STUPID phone call, he attempted to invite himself to my doorstep! (How about F**K NO, drunken jizztrumpet MORON?!?!?) He spouted off my address, (that I NEVER gave him), so I knew he had done a Google search on me. If he's DUMBA$$ enough to turn up on my doorstep unwanted, unannounced and UNINVITED, he will be dealing with the local constabulary when I report his drunken A$$ for TRESPASSING!!!
I'll be quoting David Gerrold....GET OFF MY LAWN!!!!!!
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Saw this quote on Reddit:
“A wise man once told me family don’t end in blood, but it doesn’t start there either. Family cares about you, not what you can do for them. Family’s there through the good, bad, all of it. They got your back even when it hurts. That’s family”
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Hi Bonesie,
Sorry not to have checked in for a while. We just moved house so it has been crazy busy plus we were without internet for a few days. For some reason I thought you were seeing the specialist this Tuesday (tomorrow), not last week. But I'm very glad to read that everything is benign. I know getting check ups is a pain but I find they help stop me worrying when I know someone is keeping an eye out on things. I hope the biopsy area is healing now and not as uncomfortable.
As for that relative - wow. Did he really not remember that your brother had died? I seem to remember you posting about this when it originally happened and that you'd been able to block him. I do remember you saying about him calling people the N word - I hate that word! Why did he phone, was he just drunk and rambling? Sometimes technology has its downsides. I think in the days when people could only communicate by letter and it was delivered on horse back they didn't have to deal with this kind of nonsense.
I hope he leaves you alone now and I'm very glad to hear that the lump isn't dangerous xx
Thanks, Tupp!
I was so relieved when the nurse practitioner told me it's benign that I started crying in the doctor's office. I'm glad they are keeping an eye on it and know what they're talking about as opposed to the MEN in the G.P.'s office. (Long story with that!)
Yeah, Cousin JackA$$ royally pissed me off with his bloody bull$hit! He's as bad as that tangerine wankmaggot we're stuck with until the next elections! At one point, during that STUPID phone call, he attempted to invite himself to my doorstep! (How about F**K NO, drunken jizztrumpet MORON?!?!?) He spouted off my address, (that I NEVER gave him), so I knew he had done a Google search on me. If he's DUMBA$$ enough to turn up on my doorstep unwanted, unannounced and UNINVITED, he will be dealing with the local constabulary when I report his drunken A$$ for TRESPASSING!!!
I'll be quoting David Gerrold....GET OFF MY LAWN!!!!!!
Oh Bones, tangerine wankmaggot! I spat out my tea, lol, that needs to go on a T shirt or something! That's so funny I'm crying :)
I'm glad the nurse was/is reassuring. I've felt for a long time now that a lot of doctors could really do with some sort of interpreter when talking to patients - someone who can explain the necessary medical stuff but do it in a caring, practical manner. Some of the people I've met with my son just don't have that skill and it does make the experience much harder to deal with (and it's hard enough as it is). So I'm glad the nurse was good and I think tears of relief are very natural in times like this.
As for your cousin, well, what a doofus. I hope he leaves you alone now, although your insults are so funny I'm half hoping you get a chance to use them on him lol. And yes, the family thing is so true, of people in general, I think - you want the ones that are there for you, good and bad, because they enjoy your company and value you as a person, not because of what they can get out of you or what kind of cushion you provide for all of their issues. I get that kind of acceptance from you guys on here and I value that so much, I can't tell you :) xx
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Hi Bonesie,
Sorry not to have checked in for a while. We just moved house so it has been crazy busy plus we were without internet for a few days. For some reason I thought you were seeing the specialist this Tuesday (tomorrow), not last week. But I'm very glad to read that everything is benign. I know getting check ups is a pain but I find they help stop me worrying when I know someone is keeping an eye out on things. I hope the biopsy area is healing now and not as uncomfortable.
As for that relative - wow. Did he really not remember that your brother had died? I seem to remember you posting about this when it originally happened and that you'd been able to block him. I do remember you saying about him calling people the N word - I hate that word! Why did he phone, was he just drunk and rambling? Sometimes technology has its downsides. I think in the days when people could only communicate by letter and it was delivered on horse back they didn't have to deal with this kind of nonsense.
I hope he leaves you alone now and I'm very glad to hear that the lump isn't dangerous xx
Thanks, Tupp!
I was so relieved when the nurse practitioner told me it's benign that I started crying in the doctor's office. I'm glad they are keeping an eye on it and know what they're talking about as opposed to the MEN in the G.P.'s office. (Long story with that!)
Yeah, Cousin JackA$$ royally pissed me off with his bloody bull$hit! He's as bad as that tangerine wankmaggot we're stuck with until the next elections! At one point, during that STUPID phone call, he attempted to invite himself to my doorstep! (How about F**K NO, drunken jizztrumpet MORON?!?!?) He spouted off my address, (that I NEVER gave him), so I knew he had done a Google search on me. If he's DUMBA$$ enough to turn up on my doorstep unwanted, unannounced and UNINVITED, he will be dealing with the local constabulary when I report his drunken A$$ for TRESPASSING!!!
I'll be quoting David Gerrold....GET OFF MY LAWN!!!!!!
Oh Bones, tangerine wankmaggot! I spat out my tea, lol, that needs to go on a T shirt or something! That's so funny I'm crying :)
I'm glad the nurse was/is reassuring. I've felt for a long time now that a lot of doctors could really do with some sort of interpreter when talking to patients - someone who can explain the necessary medical stuff but do it in a caring, practical manner. Some of the people I've met with my son just don't have that skill and it does make the experience much harder to deal with (and it's hard enough as it is). So I'm glad the nurse was good and I think tears of relief are very natural in times like this.
As for your cousin, well, what a doofus. I hope he leaves you alone now, although your insults are so funny I'm half hoping you get a chance to use them on him lol. And yes, the family thing is so true, of people in general, I think - you want the ones that are there for you, good and bad, because they enjoy your company and value you as a person, not because of what they can get out of you or what kind of cushion you provide for all of their issues. I get that kind of acceptance from you guys on here and I value that so much, I can't tell you :) xx
Thanks, Tupp! xx
I've reached the point that doofuses like Cousin JackA$$ et al are NOT considered family and they are too stupid to understand insults thrown directly in their faces. If JackA$$ shows up, he'll get a rude awakening and a clear message that he is NOT welcome here!
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How are you doing, Bones? I've been thinking about you. I hope the jackass cousin didn't cause any more problems. We are seeing so many cute cats when we're out and about, nine on the way home from town this evening, all friendly and wanting a bit of a fuss. I think I need to make up some sort of kitty showreel or something :) lol xx
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How are you doing, Bones? I've been thinking about you. I hope the jackass cousin didn't cause any more problems. We are seeing so many cute cats when we're out and about, nine on the way home from town this evening, all friendly and wanting a bit of a fuss. I think I need to make up some sort of kitty showreel or something :) lol xx
I'm taking things one day at a time.
I'd LOVE to see pictures of those Fur Babies!!!!!!
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How are you doing, Bones? I've been thinking about you. I hope the jackass cousin didn't cause any more problems. We are seeing so many cute cats when we're out and about, nine on the way home from town this evening, all friendly and wanting a bit of a fuss. I think I need to make up some sort of kitty showreel or something :) lol xx
I'm taking things one day at a time.
I'd LOVE to see pictures of those Fur Babies!!!!!!
One day at a time sounds like a good approach, Bonesie :) I will see if I can start snapping pics of the cute kitties and load them on here somehow. There is one we've christened the subway cat as he hangs around the underpass that leads to the shop, we've a pure white one called the snow cat, a long legged grey one that we've imaginatively titled 'Long Legs Grey Boy' and a stripy one that sleeps in the walnut tree with his legs hanging down either side of the branches :) I will have to try and sneak up on them when they're napping and get some pictures :) xx
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How are you doing, Bones? I've been thinking about you. I hope the jackass cousin didn't cause any more problems. We are seeing so many cute cats when we're out and about, nine on the way home from town this evening, all friendly and wanting a bit of a fuss. I think I need to make up some sort of kitty showreel or something :) lol xx
I'm taking things one day at a time.
I'd LOVE to see pictures of those Fur Babies!!!!!!
One day at a time sounds like a good approach, Bonesie :) I will see if I can start snapping pics of the cute kitties and load them on here somehow. There is one we've christened the subway cat as he hangs around the underpass that leads to the shop, we've a pure white one called the snow cat, a long legged grey one that we've imaginatively titled 'Long Legs Grey Boy' and a stripy one that sleeps in the walnut tree with his legs hanging down either side of the branches :) I will have to try and sneak up on them when they're napping and get some pictures :) xx
AWWWWWWWWW!!!!
Those kitties sound ADORABLE!!!!!!!
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They are so cute, Bones, and so friendly as well, I really love that open trust and warmth that you get from animals (and small children, sometimes!). I was in the sitting room yesterday and we had a furry intruder, cute fluffy black cat just poked his head around the door to say hello. I had to usher him out because our cat would attack him so I don't want to welcome them in, as much as I'd like to! But he was just so gorgeous, I felt mean putting him outside :) xx
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They are so cute, Bones, and so friendly as well, I really love that open trust and warmth that you get from animals (and small children, sometimes!). I was in the sitting room yesterday and we had a furry intruder, cute fluffy black cat just poked his head around the door to say hello. I had to usher him out because our cat would attack him so I don't want to welcome them in, as much as I'd like to! But he was just so gorgeous, I felt mean putting him outside :) xx
AWWWWW!!!! I hope he got a cuddle or two.
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How are things with you, Bones? The fluffy black cat turned out to be a stray; our neighbour has taken him in as they didn't have any luck finding an owner. He's a very nervous cat, not keen on people and has attacked the kind neighbour who is feeding him and looking after him now :) But hopefully he will settle over time. He comes into our garden every morning to drink out of a bowl of rainwater - he has clean fresh water in a nice bowl inside his new home but likes to have a drop from the grubby plastic pot on our back step :) They are so funny. He's a beautiful looking cat so hopefully over time he'll relax a bit. We're not seeing as many cats now as the weather's turned and I think they're staying indoors in the warm. Ours has got to have a tooth out so I need to get on and get that organised. Showed up in a routine check; it's funny how they can be poorly but not show it. I hope all is well with you :) xx
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How are things with you, Bones? The fluffy black cat turned out to be a stray; our neighbour has taken him in as they didn't have any luck finding an owner. He's a very nervous cat, not keen on people and has attacked the kind neighbour who is feeding him and looking after him now :) But hopefully he will settle over time. He comes into our garden every morning to drink out of a bowl of rainwater - he has clean fresh water in a nice bowl inside his new home but likes to have a drop from the grubby plastic pot on our back step :) They are so funny. He's a beautiful looking cat so hopefully over time he'll relax a bit. We're not seeing as many cats now as the weather's turned and I think they're staying indoors in the warm. Ours has got to have a tooth out so I need to get on and get that organised. Showed up in a routine check; it's funny how they can be poorly but not show it. I hope all is well with you :) xx
Thanks, Tupp.
I'm a bit slow in responding as my laptop crashed and I'm limited to a tablet. I'm still trying to figure out a solution.
I met a new cousin last week through DNA.
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How are things with you, Bones? The fluffy black cat turned out to be a stray; our neighbour has taken him in as they didn't have any luck finding an owner. He's a very nervous cat, not keen on people and has attacked the kind neighbour who is feeding him and looking after him now :) But hopefully he will settle over time. He comes into our garden every morning to drink out of a bowl of rainwater - he has clean fresh water in a nice bowl inside his new home but likes to have a drop from the grubby plastic pot on our back step :) They are so funny. He's a beautiful looking cat so hopefully over time he'll relax a bit. We're not seeing as many cats now as the weather's turned and I think they're staying indoors in the warm. Ours has got to have a tooth out so I need to get on and get that organised. Showed up in a routine check; it's funny how they can be poorly but not show it. I hope all is well with you :) xx
Thanks, Tupp.
I'm a bit slow in responding as my laptop crashed and I'm limited to a tablet. I'm still trying to figure out a solution.
I met a new cousin last week through DNA.
I'm terrible with tablets and smartphones, I just can't get the hang of them! I hope your laptop can be fixed. Does the new cousin seem nice? I know some of your relatives have not been great to have around. I hope this is a nice one :) xx
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How are things with you, Bones? The fluffy black cat turned out to be a stray; our neighbour has taken him in as they didn't have any luck finding an owner. He's a very nervous cat, not keen on people and has attacked the kind neighbour who is feeding him and looking after him now :) But hopefully he will settle over time. He comes into our garden every morning to drink out of a bowl of rainwater - he has clean fresh water in a nice bowl inside his new home but likes to have a drop from the grubby plastic pot on our back step :) They are so funny. He's a beautiful looking cat so hopefully over time he'll relax a bit. We're not seeing as many cats now as the weather's turned and I think they're staying indoors in the warm. Ours has got to have a tooth out so I need to get on and get that organised. Showed up in a routine check; it's funny how they can be poorly but not show it. I hope all is well with you :) xx
Thanks, Tupp.
I'm a bit slow in responding as my laptop crashed and I'm limited to a tablet. I'm still trying to figure out a solution.
I met a new cousin last week through DNA.
I'm terrible with tablets and smartphones, I just can't get the hang of them! I hope your laptop can be fixed. Does the new cousin seem nice? I know some of your relatives have not been great to have around. I hope this is a nice one :) xx
I know what you mean. A neighbor gave me her Lenovo laptop but it appears I'm going to have to restore it to factory specs to try to get it to work right.
My newfound cousin seems nice. I've only met him last Thursday. He's trying to find out about his birth father. He's where I was in 1997, trying to search for the truth amid all the dysfunctional lies told by various relatives. The DNA doesn't lie. He thought I was his sister because of the DNA. His late bio-father was my first cousin once removed.
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I'm glad he has turned out to be a nice cousin, Bones. Did you know of him before or has he appeared unexpectedly? It's amazing how many people can find they have relatives they knew nothing about. There is a grave yard near us - I know it sounds a bit morbid but I find grave yards really peaceful and I like to wander around and imagine the lives of the people laying there. A lot of the graves are very old and I wonder if the descendants of those people know each other or if various family lines have split and either died out or are unaware of each other. And then I think about my family and I hope there aren't any more out there! Does your new cousin live near enough for you to get to know one another or is he quiet some distance away? xx
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He lives quite a long way which requires either flying or several hours by train.
Until the DNA match turned up, we didn't know the other existed.
I tend to explore cemeteries for family history research. I recently visited the grave of my ancestor who fought in the Revolutionary War and found another mystery to solve.
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He lives quite a long way which requires either flying or several hours by train.
Until the DNA match turned up, we didn't know the other existed.
I tend to explore cemeteries for family history research. I recently visited the grave of my ancestor who fought in the Revolutionary War and found another mystery to solve.
It's nice that you've found both a living and a deceased relative, Bones, and how lovely that you've been able to go to their grave. I do find the sight of very old graves quite sad as there isn't anyone around to tend them anymore. I've been putting flowers on the grave of an eight year old child; there's no name, it just says they died in an accident in 1946. I found that so sad that a little one passed away and there was no name to put on the grave. Just felt I needed to do something - silly, I know. It is so fascinating trying to work out what happened in the past and who various people were.
In other news, the semi stray black fluffy cat (neighbour is feeding him but says the cat doesn't settle in the house for long) almost let me stroke him today. He seems quite nervous but has such a lovely face :) xx
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He lives quite a long way which requires either flying or several hours by train.
Until the DNA match turned up, we didn't know the other existed.
I tend to explore cemeteries for family history research. I recently visited the grave of my ancestor who fought in the Revolutionary War and found another mystery to solve.
It's nice that you've found both a living and a deceased relative, Bones, and how lovely that you've been able to go to their grave. I do find the sight of very old graves quite sad as there isn't anyone around to tend them anymore. I've been putting flowers on the grave of an eight year old child; there's no name, it just says they died in an accident in 1946. I found that so sad that a little one passed away and there was no name to put on the grave. Just felt I needed to do something - silly, I know. It is so fascinating trying to work out what happened in the past and who various people were.
In other news, the semi stray black fluffy cat (neighbour is feeding him but says the cat doesn't settle in the house for long) almost let me stroke him today. He seems quite nervous but has such a lovely face :) xx
Awwwwwww!!! Love the fur baby!
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Hi Bonesie, how are you doing? A friend of mine has been doing some research into her family tree which has often made me think of you. She has found a distant connection to current nobility in the area she lives. The current Lord of the Manor has a huge stately home with hundreds of acres of land so we are thinking he might let his very distant cousin many times removed move in with a couple of her friends :) Lol. We searched for my birth certificate and I wasn't on the database! I got quite excited that my theory about being adopted may be proved correct :) But I came up on another database so it seems my mum really is my mum and there isn't another one out there looking for me :) Never mind.
We are seeing more of the cats as the weather's starting to warm up here and the days are getting longer. The fluffy black one isn't visiting the garden much anymore which I'm hoping might mean he's more settled in his new home and spending more time inside. We still have a circle of cats around the tree when I put the food out for the birds and we've now got a pair of seagulls who visit each morning. One of them sits on the roof of the garage waiting for me to put their breakfast out. Then he calls his friend and waits for him to arrive before they have breakfast together :) It's so sweet, I really like seeing them together like that.
How are things going with you, is the weather improving at all yet? xx
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Hi Bonesie, how are you doing? A friend of mine has been doing some research into her family tree which has often made me think of you. She has found a distant connection to current nobility in the area she lives. The current Lord of the Manor has a huge stately home with hundreds of acres of land so we are thinking he might let his very distant cousin many times removed move in with a couple of her friends :) Lol. We searched for my birth certificate and I wasn't on the database! I got quite excited that my theory about being adopted may be proved correct :) But I came up on another database so it seems my mum really is my mum and there isn't another one out there looking for me :) Never mind.
We are seeing more of the cats as the weather's starting to warm up here and the days are getting longer. The fluffy black one isn't visiting the garden much anymore which I'm hoping might mean he's more settled in his new home and spending more time inside. We still have a circle of cats around the tree when I put the food out for the birds and we've now got a pair of seagulls who visit each morning. One of them sits on the roof of the garage waiting for me to put their breakfast out. Then he calls his friend and waits for him to arrive before they have breakfast together :) It's so sweet, I really like seeing them together like that.
How are things going with you, is the weather improving at all yet? xx
Hi, Tupp.
It's snowing again over here so I'm cooped up.
Your friend sounds like she could be a distant cousin of mine, lol!!! Turns out I also have royal relatives such as the Duchess of Windsor. :-)
I hope you're doing better.
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Hi Bonesie, how are you doing? A friend of mine has been doing some research into her family tree which has often made me think of you. She has found a distant connection to current nobility in the area she lives. The current Lord of the Manor has a huge stately home with hundreds of acres of land so we are thinking he might let his very distant cousin many times removed move in with a couple of her friends :) Lol. We searched for my birth certificate and I wasn't on the database! I got quite excited that my theory about being adopted may be proved correct :) But I came up on another database so it seems my mum really is my mum and there isn't another one out there looking for me :) Never mind.
We are seeing more of the cats as the weather's starting to warm up here and the days are getting longer. The fluffy black one isn't visiting the garden much anymore which I'm hoping might mean he's more settled in his new home and spending more time inside. We still have a circle of cats around the tree when I put the food out for the birds and we've now got a pair of seagulls who visit each morning. One of them sits on the roof of the garage waiting for me to put their breakfast out. Then he calls his friend and waits for him to arrive before they have breakfast together :) It's so sweet, I really like seeing them together like that.
How are things going with you, is the weather improving at all yet? xx
Hi, Tupp.
It's snowing again over here so I'm cooped up.
Your friend sounds like she could be a distant cousin of mine, lol!!! Turns out I also have royal relatives such as the Duchess of Windsor. :-)
I hope you're doing better.
Wow, Bonesie, you're royalty! You need to claim your birthright - they've got loads of spare castles over here :) Lol. It's so interesting that so many people are connected in so many ways. I'll let you know if my friend finds any more connections!
I am doing better now, thanks xx I hope the snow clears soon. We've been lucky and avoided it - I'm hoping we're heading into spring now. I just feel better when we have more sun and the weather's warmer :) Have you had the amazing moon the last few nights? xx
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Hi Bonesie, how are you doing? A friend of mine has been doing some research into her family tree which has often made me think of you. She has found a distant connection to current nobility in the area she lives. The current Lord of the Manor has a huge stately home with hundreds of acres of land so we are thinking he might let his very distant cousin many times removed move in with a couple of her friends :) Lol. We searched for my birth certificate and I wasn't on the database! I got quite excited that my theory about being adopted may be proved correct :) But I came up on another database so it seems my mum really is my mum and there isn't another one out there looking for me :) Never mind.
We are seeing more of the cats as the weather's starting to warm up here and the days are getting longer. The fluffy black one isn't visiting the garden much anymore which I'm hoping might mean he's more settled in his new home and spending more time inside. We still have a circle of cats around the tree when I put the food out for the birds and we've now got a pair of seagulls who visit each morning. One of them sits on the roof of the garage waiting for me to put their breakfast out. Then he calls his friend and waits for him to arrive before they have breakfast together :) It's so sweet, I really like seeing them together like that.
How are things going with you, is the weather improving at all yet? xx
Hi, Tupp.
It's snowing again over here so I'm cooped up.
Your friend sounds like she could be a distant cousin of mine, lol!!! Turns out I also have royal relatives such as the Duchess of Windsor. :-)
I hope you're doing better.
Wow, Bonesie, you're royalty! You need to claim your birthright - they've got loads of spare castles over here :) Lol. It's so interesting that so many people are connected in so many ways. I'll let you know if my friend finds any more connections!
I am doing better now, thanks xx I hope the snow clears soon. We've been lucky and avoided it - I'm hoping we're heading into spring now. I just feel better when we have more sun and the weather's warmer :) Have you had the amazing moon the last few nights? xx
Lol! I wouldn't mind visiting a few castles! Lol!
I haven't been outside at night to check out the moon though.
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I love going to castles, ruined or otherwise :) There are lots of stone monuments across the country as well, pagan structures that have been there for thousands of years in some cases. So many houses going to rack and ruin as well, which is scandalous when we have so many homeless people. And such a shame, there would have been a time when a big fancy house would have had a family in it who would have loved it and looked after it. It's sad to see things just no longer be :(
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I love going to castles, ruined or otherwise :) There are lots of stone monuments across the country as well, pagan structures that have been there for thousands of years in some cases. So many houses going to rack and ruin as well, which is scandalous when we have so many homeless people. And such a shame, there would have been a time when a big fancy house would have had a family in it who would have loved it and looked after it. It's sad to see things just no longer be :(
I agree!!
It's such a shame.
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How are things with you, Bonesie? I seem to have become a surrogate mother for some of the cats in our area :) There are three that visit most days now. They go to the front door because they've learnt that if they go in the back garden our cat attacks them :) So they sit out on the front step; sometimes they're there when I get home and other days they'll be outside first thing in the morning. They're very cute and friendly; I don't think they all live in the same house (going by the info I've had from the neighbours) but they seem to have made a little gang and wander about together. So cute. I hope things are going okay with you xx
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How are things with you, Bonesie? I seem to have become a surrogate mother for some of the cats in our area :) There are three that visit most days now. They go to the front door because they've learnt that if they go in the back garden our cat attacks them :) So they sit out on the front step; sometimes they're there when I get home and other days they'll be outside first thing in the morning. They're very cute and friendly; I don't think they all live in the same house (going by the info I've had from the neighbours) but they seem to have made a little gang and wander about together. So cute. I hope things are going okay with you xx
I'm still taking things one day at a time. I just got home from a two-day festival a little while ago and feeling a little tired. I participated in three drum circles over the course of two days which was a lot of fun.
Those cats sound ADORABLE!
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How are things with you, Bonesie? I seem to have become a surrogate mother for some of the cats in our area :) There are three that visit most days now. They go to the front door because they've learnt that if they go in the back garden our cat attacks them :) So they sit out on the front step; sometimes they're there when I get home and other days they'll be outside first thing in the morning. They're very cute and friendly; I don't think they all live in the same house (going by the info I've had from the neighbours) but they seem to have made a little gang and wander about together. So cute. I hope things are going okay with you xx
I'm still taking things one day at a time. I just got home from a two-day festival a little while ago and feeling a little tired. I participated in three drum circles over the course of two days which was a lot of fun.
Those cats sound ADORABLE!
Oh Bones, the drum circles do sound like fun! Is it a shamanic thing or more of a musical thing? Son and I are going to a shamanic one in a few weeks' time. Never been before, have spoken to the guy and he also works as a sound therapist so has worked with people with learning disabilities like my son's before. I'm looking forward to it but also a bit nervous! Great to hear you enjoyed it :) The cats are so cute, they're like a little gang. One poked her nose through the front door yesterday because I'd left it open to air the place while I cleaned and our cat boffed her on the nose - she's so grumpy! Lol x
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How are things with you, Bonesie? I seem to have become a surrogate mother for some of the cats in our area :) There are three that visit most days now. They go to the front door because they've learnt that if they go in the back garden our cat attacks them :) So they sit out on the front step; sometimes they're there when I get home and other days they'll be outside first thing in the morning. They're very cute and friendly; I don't think they all live in the same house (going by the info I've had from the neighbours) but they seem to have made a little gang and wander about together. So cute. I hope things are going okay with you xx
I'm still taking things one day at a time. I just got home from a two-day festival a little while ago and feeling a little tired. I participated in three drum circles over the course of two days which was a lot of fun.
Those cats sound ADORABLE!
Oh Bones, the drum circles do sound like fun! Is it a shamanic thing or more of a musical thing? Son and I are going to a shamanic one in a few weeks' time. Never been before, have spoken to the guy and he also works as a sound therapist so has worked with people with learning disabilities like my son's before. I'm looking forward to it but also a bit nervous! Great to hear you enjoyed it :) The cats are so cute, they're like a little gang. One poked her nose through the front door yesterday because I'd left it open to air the place while I cleaned and our cat boffed her on the nose - she's so grumpy! Lol x
It's mostly a musical thing. We've even had the opportunity to jam with other musicians, which is a lot of fun!
Your grumpy cat sounds FUNNY!! Lol!
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She is funny, Bones, but so moody, but that's what I like about cats! They just do what they like and they don't care what anyone thinks! Some mornings she sits on the window ledge and watches me make a fuss of the other cats and when I go back in the house she swipes at me as I walk past because she's annoyed that I talked to the others! Lol xx
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She is funny, Bones, but so moody, but that's what I like about cats! They just do what they like and they don't care what anyone thinks! Some mornings she sits on the window ledge and watches me make a fuss of the other cats and when I go back in the house she swipes at me as I walk past because she's annoyed that I talked to the others! Lol xx
Lololololololololololol!!
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How are you doing, Bonesie? I always think of you when (a) I see a cute cat and (b) when I hear someone say something sassy :) Lol, hope you're doing okay xx xx
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How are you doing, Bonesie? I always think of you when (a) I see a cute cat and (b) when I hear someone say something sassy :) Lol, hope you're doing okay xx xx
Thanks, Tupp.
I've been dealing with Round Two of Shingles. I finally found a place that will give me my Shingles shot but I have to wait until this Round is no longer active before I can get my vaccination.
Otherwise, I'm taking things one day at a time.
I've been having fun watching cute cat videos on Facebook. Some of my former classmates also love cats and what they've been sharing on Facebook is ADORABLE!!!
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How are you doing, Bonesie? I always think of you when (a) I see a cute cat and (b) when I hear someone say something sassy :) Lol, hope you're doing okay xx xx
Thanks, Tupp.
I've been dealing with Round Two of Shingles. I finally found a place that will give me my Shingles shot but I have to wait until this Round is no longer active before I can get my vaccination.
Otherwise, I'm taking things one day at a time.
I've been having fun watching cute cat videos on Facebook. Some of my former classmates also love cats and what they've been sharing on Facebook is ADORABLE!!!
Oh no, Bones, shingles must be awful and to have it twice as well?! You poor thing. I didn't know they could do a vaccination for it so I'm glad you've found that's possible. Do you have any idea how long it will be before you'll be able to get it done? It sounds like rotten luck to get it twice!
I love cute cat videos! They do such daft things sometimes as well, it's lucky they have nine lives with all the falling off things and so on that they do. There was a show on last night that had some cute cat videos and in one of them the cat was trying to reverse himself through a small gap in a window the same way you'd reverse a car, it was hilarious :)
I hope you start to feel a bit better soon xx xx
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How are you doing, Bonesie? I always think of you when (a) I see a cute cat and (b) when I hear someone say something sassy :) Lol, hope you're doing okay xx xx
Thanks, Tupp.
I've been dealing with Round Two of Shingles. I finally found a place that will give me my Shingles shot but I have to wait until this Round is no longer active before I can get my vaccination.
Otherwise, I'm taking things one day at a time.
I've been having fun watching cute cat videos on Facebook. Some of my former classmates also love cats and what they've been sharing on Facebook is ADORABLE!!!
Oh no, Bones, shingles must be awful and to have it twice as well?! You poor thing. I didn't know they could do a vaccination for it so I'm glad you've found that's possible. Do you have any idea how long it will be before you'll be able to get it done? It sounds like rotten luck to get it twice!
I love cute cat videos! They do such daft things sometimes as well, it's lucky they have nine lives with all the falling off things and so on that they do. There was a show on last night that had some cute cat videos and in one of them the cat was trying to reverse himself through a small gap in a window the same way you'd reverse a car, it was hilarious :)
I hope you start to feel a bit better soon xx xx
Thanks, Tupp.
The vaccination becomes available for folks around the age of 60 and my local grocery store can give it to me the next time I go shopping. I hate needles but I hate Shingles even more so I'm going to grab the opportunity and get it done.
One of the videos I saw in my Facebook group shows a cat giving itself a facial with one of those electric massagers! It's hilarious!!!! I couldn't stop laughing!
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Hey Bones, you've been away from the board a little while I think. Shingles sounds like a biotch.
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Hey Bones, you've been away from the board a little while I think. Shingles sounds like a biotch.
It is!!!! Shingles is NASTY!!!!! Anyone who has had Chicken Pox is at risk of getting it.
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Hope it clears up soon for you and in the mean time you find something to sooth the symptoms.
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Hope it clears up soon for you and in the mean time you find something to sooth the symptoms.
Thanks.
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I feel for you, Bones.
Watched my Dad through shingles.
Shingles SUCKS.
Once it clears up, can you get the vaccine after whatever time, so it doesn't come back?
Hops
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I feel for you, Bones.
Watched my Dad through shingles.
Shingles SUCKS.
Once it clears up, can you get the vaccine after whatever time, so it doesn't come back?
Hops
Thanks.
I tried to arrange for the vaccine two weeks after I broke out and the pharmacist told me I had to wait a few more weeks as it was too soon to get the shot. I'm planning on trying again next week.
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How are you doing, Bonesie? I always think of you when (a) I see a cute cat and (b) when I hear someone say something sassy :) Lol, hope you're doing okay xx xx
Thanks, Tupp.
I've been dealing with Round Two of Shingles. I finally found a place that will give me my Shingles shot but I have to wait until this Round is no longer active before I can get my vaccination.
Otherwise, I'm taking things one day at a time.
I've been having fun watching cute cat videos on Facebook. Some of my former classmates also love cats and what they've been sharing on Facebook is ADORABLE!!!
Oh no, Bones, shingles must be awful and to have it twice as well?! You poor thing. I didn't know they could do a vaccination for it so I'm glad you've found that's possible. Do you have any idea how long it will be before you'll be able to get it done? It sounds like rotten luck to get it twice!
I love cute cat videos! They do such daft things sometimes as well, it's lucky they have nine lives with all the falling off things and so on that they do. There was a show on last night that had some cute cat videos and in one of them the cat was trying to reverse himself through a small gap in a window the same way you'd reverse a car, it was hilarious :)
I hope you start to feel a bit better soon xx xx
Thanks, Tupp.
The vaccination becomes available for folks around the age of 60 and my local grocery store can give it to me the next time I go shopping. I hate needles but I hate Shingles even more so I'm going to grab the opportunity and get it done.
One of the videos I saw in my Facebook group shows a cat giving itself a facial with one of those electric massagers! It's hilarious!!!! I couldn't stop laughing!
Oh Bones, the cute kitty video sounds hilarious! They're just so funny. There's a young one near us who's so friendly and loves being petted so much that he just kind of zones out when you stroke him and starts toppling over. If I sit out on the step to drink my tea he rushes over (he loiters by the tree outside my house because I put bird feeders in it but he's the clumsiest cat I've ever seen, every time he tries to grab a bird he trips or overshoots it and skids off the wall instead). I start stroking him round his head and ears and he purrs so loud and then starts kind of doing headstands and lifting his back legs off the step and then he overbalances and falls down lol. He really is so cute. We had to try and stop one from next door coming in as she kept fighting with our cat so now they each sit on the shed roof of their respective gardens and miaow at each other from a distance. So daft :)
Were you able to get your shot? It's so horrible when you're laid up with something and all you can do is wait for it to go. I hope it's cleared up enough for you to get your jab (I hate needles as well, I have to look at the door the whole time and talk incessantly otherwise I pass out lol) and that it doesn't come back again now xx
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How are you doing, Bonesie? I always think of you when (a) I see a cute cat and (b) when I hear someone say something sassy :) Lol, hope you're doing okay xx xx
Thanks, Tupp.
I've been dealing with Round Two of Shingles. I finally found a place that will give me my Shingles shot but I have to wait until this Round is no longer active before I can get my vaccination.
Otherwise, I'm taking things one day at a time.
I've been having fun watching cute cat videos on Facebook. Some of my former classmates also love cats and what they've been sharing on Facebook is ADORABLE!!!
Oh no, Bones, shingles must be awful and to have it twice as well?! You poor thing. I didn't know they could do a vaccination for it so I'm glad you've found that's possible. Do you have any idea how long it will be before you'll be able to get it done? It sounds like rotten luck to get it twice!
I love cute cat videos! They do such daft things sometimes as well, it's lucky they have nine lives with all the falling off things and so on that they do. There was a show on last night that had some cute cat videos and in one of them the cat was trying to reverse himself through a small gap in a window the same way you'd reverse a car, it was hilarious :)
I hope you start to feel a bit better soon xx xx
Thanks, Tupp.
The vaccination becomes available for folks around the age of 60 and my local grocery store can give it to me the next time I go shopping. I hate needles but I hate Shingles even more so I'm going to grab the opportunity and get it done.
One of the videos I saw in my Facebook group shows a cat giving itself a facial with one of those electric massagers! It's hilarious!!!! I couldn't stop laughing!
Oh Bones, the cute kitty video sounds hilarious! They're just so funny. There's a young one near us who's so friendly and loves being petted so much that he just kind of zones out when you stroke him and starts toppling over. If I sit out on the step to drink my tea he rushes over (he loiters by the tree outside my house because I put bird feeders in it but he's the clumsiest cat I've ever seen, every time he tries to grab a bird he trips or overshoots it and skids off the wall instead). I start stroking him round his head and ears and he purrs so loud and then starts kind of doing headstands and lifting his back legs off the step and then he overbalances and falls down lol. He really is so cute. We had to try and stop one from next door coming in as she kept fighting with our cat so now they each sit on the shed roof of their respective gardens and miaow at each other from a distance. So daft :)
Were you able to get your shot? It's so horrible when you're laid up with something and all you can do is wait for it to go. I hope it's cleared up enough for you to get your jab (I hate needles as well, I have to look at the door the whole time and talk incessantly otherwise I pass out lol) and that it doesn't come back again now xx
Cats are so funny and I LOVE to listen to them purr!!!!
Turns out that the Shingles shot is a two parter. I got Part One on Wednesday and I have to go back for Part Two in a couple of months. In the meantime, I also have to arrange for the Flu shot because asthma and flu are NOT a good combination. I HATE needles but I hate the flu and the Shingles more than I hate needles!
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How are you doing, Bonesie? I always think of you when (a) I see a cute cat and (b) when I hear someone say something sassy :) Lol, hope you're doing okay xx xx
Thanks, Tupp.
I've been dealing with Round Two of Shingles. I finally found a place that will give me my Shingles shot but I have to wait until this Round is no longer active before I can get my vaccination.
Otherwise, I'm taking things one day at a time.
I've been having fun watching cute cat videos on Facebook. Some of my former classmates also love cats and what they've been sharing on Facebook is ADORABLE!!!
Oh no, Bones, shingles must be awful and to have it twice as well?! You poor thing. I didn't know they could do a vaccination for it so I'm glad you've found that's possible. Do you have any idea how long it will be before you'll be able to get it done? It sounds like rotten luck to get it twice!
I love cute cat videos! They do such daft things sometimes as well, it's lucky they have nine lives with all the falling off things and so on that they do. There was a show on last night that had some cute cat videos and in one of them the cat was trying to reverse himself through a small gap in a window the same way you'd reverse a car, it was hilarious :)
I hope you start to feel a bit better soon xx xx
Thanks, Tupp.
The vaccination becomes available for folks around the age of 60 and my local grocery store can give it to me the next time I go shopping. I hate needles but I hate Shingles even more so I'm going to grab the opportunity and get it done.
One of the videos I saw in my Facebook group shows a cat giving itself a facial with one of those electric massagers! It's hilarious!!!! I couldn't stop laughing!
Oh Bones, the cute kitty video sounds hilarious! They're just so funny. There's a young one near us who's so friendly and loves being petted so much that he just kind of zones out when you stroke him and starts toppling over. If I sit out on the step to drink my tea he rushes over (he loiters by the tree outside my house because I put bird feeders in it but he's the clumsiest cat I've ever seen, every time he tries to grab a bird he trips or overshoots it and skids off the wall instead). I start stroking him round his head and ears and he purrs so loud and then starts kind of doing headstands and lifting his back legs off the step and then he overbalances and falls down lol. He really is so cute. We had to try and stop one from next door coming in as she kept fighting with our cat so now they each sit on the shed roof of their respective gardens and miaow at each other from a distance. So daft :)
Were you able to get your shot? It's so horrible when you're laid up with something and all you can do is wait for it to go. I hope it's cleared up enough for you to get your jab (I hate needles as well, I have to look at the door the whole time and talk incessantly otherwise I pass out lol) and that it doesn't come back again now xx
Cats are so funny and I LOVE to listen to them purr!!!!
Turns out that the Shingles shot is a two parter. I got Part One on Wednesday and I have to go back for Part Two in a couple of months. In the meantime, I also have to arrange for the Flu shot because asthma and flu are NOT a good combination. I HATE needles but I hate the flu and the Shingles more than I hate needles!
The cat that runs over to you when you sit on your porch made think of a childhood memory. Where I was growing up, there used to be a Siamese cat next door to me named Sam. Every time I sat on my porch, he would run over to me to be petted and purr like a motor! His owner didn't like that but no one can herd cats. Sam and I sort of adopted each other even though egg donor wouldn't allow me to have any pets. I miss that cat.
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I'm really glad you're starting to feel better, Bones.
And getting your vaccines.
Bravo. Smart.
Hope next year is much healthier and happier for you.
Hops
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I'm really glad you're starting to feel better, Bones.
And getting your vaccines.
Bravo. Smart.
Hope next year is much healthier and happier for you.
Hops
Thanks.
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Aw, Bones, Sam the Cat sounds so cute! Cats do just pick people out and then do what they like, there's no choice when a cat's involved! Lol. We visited a garden centre last year that has a live in cat - he just turned up one day and started following the owner around. They put posters up and went to Cat Rescue and did all the things you would do to find the owner but no-one came forward so he lives there now, spending most of his day sat next to the till as an endless queue of people stroke him :) Not daft! Sam the Cat sounds so cute, I'm glad he picked you out to be his friend :)
I hope getting the shots done goes okay. It's a pain to have to do it in two stages, and then I guess the flu one is an extra one on top? But yes, asthma and flu are not a good combo, particularly after having shingles. Your poor body needs some time to recover without the risk of getting ill again so I hope all of that goes well.
Have you seen the film A Street Cat Named Bob? If not, you might like it - it's a true story about a homeless guy who is adopted by this lovely cat, who kind of helps him turn his life around. It's a lovely film if you haven't already seen it xx
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Aw, Bones, Sam the Cat sounds so cute! Cats do just pick people out and then do what they like, there's no choice when a cat's involved! Lol. We visited a garden centre last year that has a live in cat - he just turned up one day and started following the owner around. They put posters up and went to Cat Rescue and did all the things you would do to find the owner but no-one came forward so he lives there now, spending most of his day sat next to the till as an endless queue of people stroke him :) Not daft! Sam the Cat sounds so cute, I'm glad he picked you out to be his friend :)
I hope getting the shots done goes okay. It's a pain to have to do it in two stages, and then I guess the flu one is an extra one on top? But yes, asthma and flu are not a good combo, particularly after having shingles. Your poor body needs some time to recover without the risk of getting ill again so I hope all of that goes well.
Have you seen the film A Street Cat Named Bob? If not, you might like it - it's a true story about a homeless guy who is adopted by this lovely cat, who kind of helps him turn his life around. It's a lovely film if you haven't already seen it xx
The Flu shot is an extra vaccination in addition to the Shingles vaccine. I hate being a human pin cushion and, at the same time, I can't afford to get those illnesses without complications setting in.
I've had more than one cat "adopt" me even though they never lived with me. They are so FUNNY! My next door neighbor also has cats and, one day, I was asked to look at his computer as he was having some problems with it. When I came into his home, his cats scattered and hid, (as cats tend to do sometimes). As I was sitting at the computer, running some diagnostics to pinpoint the problem, I saw a pair of cat ears out of the corner of my eye. I pretended to ignore the cat as I focused on the computer. Next thing I knew, one of the cats was in my lap begging to be petted! LOL!!!
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I looooooooved A Street Cat Named Bob.
Sometimes animals help me feel sane again when I've gotten stressed.
Hops
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https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=2177311275730270&id=430464667521561
Trying to share this cute video that I saw on Facebook.
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The BEST laughs; they'll all be friends forever.
:)
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Aw, Bones, Sam the Cat sounds so cute! Cats do just pick people out and then do what they like, there's no choice when a cat's involved! Lol. We visited a garden centre last year that has a live in cat - he just turned up one day and started following the owner around. They put posters up and went to Cat Rescue and did all the things you would do to find the owner but no-one came forward so he lives there now, spending most of his day sat next to the till as an endless queue of people stroke him :) Not daft! Sam the Cat sounds so cute, I'm glad he picked you out to be his friend :)
I hope getting the shots done goes okay. It's a pain to have to do it in two stages, and then I guess the flu one is an extra one on top? But yes, asthma and flu are not a good combo, particularly after having shingles. Your poor body needs some time to recover without the risk of getting ill again so I hope all of that goes well.
Have you seen the film A Street Cat Named Bob? If not, you might like it - it's a true story about a homeless guy who is adopted by this lovely cat, who kind of helps him turn his life around. It's a lovely film if you haven't already seen it xx
The Flu shot is an extra vaccination in addition to the Shingles vaccine. I hate being a human pin cushion and, at the same time, I can't afford to get those illnesses without complications setting in.
I've had more than one cat "adopt" me even though they never lived with me. They are so FUNNY! My next door neighbor also has cats and, one day, I was asked to look at his computer as he was having some problems with it. When I came into his home, his cats scattered and hid, (as cats tend to do sometimes). As I was sitting at the computer, running some diagnostics to pinpoint the problem, I saw a pair of cat ears out of the corner of my eye. I pretended to ignore the cat as I focused on the computer. Next thing I knew, one of the cats was in my lap begging to be petted! LOL!!!
Makes perfect sense to take precautions, Bones, and avoid getting poorly, I think a couple of minutes being stuck with a needle is easier than weeks of feeling rotten - that said, I hope they don't jab you too hard!
Aw it's lovely when they seek someone out like that, I love the way cats just decide what's happening and expect humans to fall into line :) The cat next door to us was a rescue and had apparently been kept in a rabbit hutch for the early years of its life, why on earth anyone would do that is beyond me. As a result he doesn't much like people and tends to sit up on a high wall keeping out of the way, but there's one little kid on our street who, for some reason, he likes and lets stroke him. It's just funny how they decide someone's a good egg :) xx
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Aw, Bones, Sam the Cat sounds so cute! Cats do just pick people out and then do what they like, there's no choice when a cat's involved! Lol. We visited a garden centre last year that has a live in cat - he just turned up one day and started following the owner around. They put posters up and went to Cat Rescue and did all the things you would do to find the owner but no-one came forward so he lives there now, spending most of his day sat next to the till as an endless queue of people stroke him :) Not daft! Sam the Cat sounds so cute, I'm glad he picked you out to be his friend :)
I hope getting the shots done goes okay. It's a pain to have to do it in two stages, and then I guess the flu one is an extra one on top? But yes, asthma and flu are not a good combo, particularly after having shingles. Your poor body needs some time to recover without the risk of getting ill again so I hope all of that goes well.
Have you seen the film A Street Cat Named Bob? If not, you might like it - it's a true story about a homeless guy who is adopted by this lovely cat, who kind of helps him turn his life around. It's a lovely film if you haven't already seen it xx
The Flu shot is an extra vaccination in addition to the Shingles vaccine. I hate being a human pin cushion and, at the same time, I can't afford to get those illnesses without complications setting in.
I've had more than one cat "adopt" me even though they never lived with me. They are so FUNNY! My next door neighbor also has cats and, one day, I was asked to look at his computer as he was having some problems with it. When I came into his home, his cats scattered and hid, (as cats tend to do sometimes). As I was sitting at the computer, running some diagnostics to pinpoint the problem, I saw a pair of cat ears out of the corner of my eye. I pretended to ignore the cat as I focused on the computer. Next thing I knew, one of the cats was in my lap begging to be petted! LOL!!!
Makes perfect sense to take precautions, Bones, and avoid getting poorly, I think a couple of minutes being stuck with a needle is easier than weeks of feeling rotten - that said, I hope they don't jab you too hard!
Aw it's lovely when they seek someone out like that, I love the way cats just decide what's happening and expect humans to fall into line :) The cat next door to us was a rescue and had apparently been kept in a rabbit hutch for the early years of its life, why on earth anyone would do that is beyond me. As a result he doesn't much like people and tends to sit up on a high wall keeping out of the way, but there's one little kid on our street who, for some reason, he likes and lets stroke him. It's just funny how they decide someone's a good egg :) xx
I think cats are a good judge of people and they know who are good eggs and who are rotten. One cat used to give me a unique vocal greeting that she gave to no one else and then we would rub our foreheads together. It was as if I was another cat to her and I loved it! I miss her too.
I still have more vaccinations to get caught up on such as the pneumonia vaccine and the TDaP.
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I think you're right Bones, animals use their senses more than we do, or trust them more is probably more accurate! I think we're taught to ignore them but animals aren't so they do get a good sense of who to sit with. I love it when cats head bump! It's so cute. Mine does a little chirruping sound when she comes in from the garden, as if she's letting us know she's home :) She doesn't like having visitors so she hides upstairs if we have people over and when they've gone she comes down and has this really cross miaow that she does while she stomps around making sure they've left, it's so funny.
I hope they sort all the other shots out for you, do you have to have all of these every year now or do they just do it once and that covers you endlessly? xx
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I think you're right Bones, animals use their senses more than we do, or trust them more is probably more accurate! I think we're taught to ignore them but animals aren't so they do get a good sense of who to sit with. I love it when cats head bump! It's so cute. Mine does a little chirruping sound when she comes in from the garden, as if she's letting us know she's home :) She doesn't like having visitors so she hides upstairs if we have people over and when they've gone she comes down and has this really cross miaow that she does while she stomps around making sure they've left, it's so funny.
I hope they sort all the other shots out for you, do you have to have all of these every year now or do they just do it once and that covers you endlessly? xx
I know I have to do the Flu shot every year because that virus mutates so frequently. As for the Shingles and Pneumonia vaccines, I don't know yet as those are fairly new to me. I know the TDaP has to be repeated after a certain number of years have elapsed as that immunity tends to fade after so many years.
Cats are SO funny where visitors are concerned.
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Many, many decades ago when I was younger and much stupider, I had a brief fling with a good-looking dude.
Recently, as I was researching my late Dad's ancestry, (whose history I did NOT know about until 1997), I discovered that the good-looking dude is my SIXTH COUSIN!!!!
Talk about AWKWARD!!!!!!!!!!!
:shock:
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Many, many decades ago when I was younger and much stupider, I had a brief fling with a good-looking dude.
Recently, as I was researching my late Dad's ancestry, (whose history I did NOT know about until 1997), I discovered that the good-looking dude is my SIXTH COUSIN!!!!
Talk about AWKWARD!!!!!!!!!!!
:shock:
Oh Bones! That is such a shock! I have heard stories like that before, where people have discovered they are distant relations after becoming friends or romantically attached. It must be an odd sensation?! Does he know what you've discovered as well? I hope the shock wears off soon, it's a big bit of news! Hope you're okay xx
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Many, many decades ago when I was younger and much stupider, I had a brief fling with a good-looking dude.
Recently, as I was researching my late Dad's ancestry, (whose history I did NOT know about until 1997), I discovered that the good-looking dude is my SIXTH COUSIN!!!!
Talk about AWKWARD!!!!!!!!!!!
:shock:
Oh Bones! That is such a shock! I have heard stories like that before, where people have discovered they are distant relations after becoming friends or romantically attached. It must be an odd sensation?! Does he know what you've discovered as well? I hope the shock wears off soon, it's a big bit of news! Hope you're okay xx
He and his siblings don't know yet.
I think I found his sister on Ancestry and I sent a brief message about finding empirical data about her ancestors. I want to explain the facts, with the data, before that bombshell gets dropped.
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Many, many decades ago when I was younger and much stupider, I had a brief fling with a good-looking dude.
Recently, as I was researching my late Dad's ancestry, (whose history I did NOT know about until 1997), I discovered that the good-looking dude is my SIXTH COUSIN!!!!
Talk about AWKWARD!!!!!!!!!!!
:shock:
Oh Bones! That is such a shock! I have heard stories like that before, where people have discovered they are distant relations after becoming friends or romantically attached. It must be an odd sensation?! Does he know what you've discovered as well? I hope the shock wears off soon, it's a big bit of news! Hope you're okay xx
He and his siblings don't know yet.
I think I found his sister on Ancestry and I sent a brief message about finding empirical data about her ancestors. I want to explain the facts, with the data, before that bombshell gets dropped.
Sounds sensible to me, Bones. My Lord, what a finding. Do they all live near you still or are these distant relatives far away geographically as well? xx
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Many, many decades ago when I was younger and much stupider, I had a brief fling with a good-looking dude.
Recently, as I was researching my late Dad's ancestry, (whose history I did NOT know about until 1997), I discovered that the good-looking dude is my SIXTH COUSIN!!!!
Talk about AWKWARD!!!!!!!!!!!
:shock:
Oh Bones! That is such a shock! I have heard stories like that before, where people have discovered they are distant relations after becoming friends or romantically attached. It must be an odd sensation?! Does he know what you've discovered as well? I hope the shock wears off soon, it's a big bit of news! Hope you're okay xx
He and his siblings don't know yet.
I think I found his sister on Ancestry and I sent a brief message about finding empirical data about her ancestors. I want to explain the facts, with the data, before that bombshell gets dropped.
Sounds sensible to me, Bones. My Lord, what a finding. Do they all live near you still or are these distant relatives far away geographically as well? xx
Most of them are in the midwest while I'm on the east coast so, geographically, we are hundreds of miles apart.
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Gosh Bonesie, well at least that means you won't bump into each other when you're out buying groceries and they can digest the info in their own time and have a bit of head space to take it all in. I hope the situation goes as well as it can; it's very weird how people can kind of find each other when they don't know they're related - almost like something kind of pulls people together. I hope the situation settles down okay xx
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Gosh Bonesie, well at least that means you won't bump into each other when you're out buying groceries and they can digest the info in their own time and have a bit of head space to take it all in. I hope the situation goes as well as it can; it's very weird how people can kind of find each other when they don't know they're related - almost like something kind of pulls people together. I hope the situation settles down okay xx
Me too. It's a lot to process.
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Hi Bones,
Do you feel better about the sixth-cousin thing?
That seems so far removed that I don't see it as skeevy in any way.
I hope you have happy memories.
Hops
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Hi Bones,
Do you feel better about the sixth-cousin thing?
That seems so far removed that I don't see it as skeevy in any way.
I hope you have happy memories.
Hops
There are some historical precedents such as Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt along with Mary Queen of Scots and Lord Darnley.
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Amen.
And millions more never in recorded history, I'm sure.
You done nothing wrong.
Hops
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Amen.
And millions more never in recorded history, I'm sure.
You done nothing wrong.
Hops
I know I've done nothing wrong.
This situation came about because I knew NOTHING about my Dad's family. Why is that? Because egg-donor did NOTHING BUT LIE ALL THE TIME!!!
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Feeling scared right now.
I recently had a CT scan to try and locate where various kidney stones have been hiding.
In addition to the kidney stones, the CT scan showed a new mass inside my abdomen and they don't know what it is. I'm seeing a specialist about it next week.
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I'm so sorry to hear this, Bones.
How scary. How brave you are.
I hope you'll have a positive answer soon,
and that you'll find real support so you don't
face anything hard too alone.
Will be thinking of you. Much light your way.
Hops
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I'm so sorry to hear this, Bones.
How scary. How brave you are.
I hope you'll have a positive answer soon,
and that you'll find real support so you don't
face anything hard too alone.
Will be thinking of you. Much light your way.
Hops
Thanks.
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Feeling scared right now.
I recently had a CT scan to try and locate where various kidney stones have been hiding.
In addition to the kidney stones, the CT scan showed a new mass inside my abdomen and they don't know what it is. I'm seeing a specialist about it next week.
Oh Bonesie, I'm sorry, that is scary, I find knowing 'something' might be happening but not knowing what really difficult to cope with. I hope the specialist can give you some info quickly and I hope it isn't anything too much to sort out. Did they find your kidney stones at the same time? xx
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Feeling scared right now.
I recently had a CT scan to try and locate where various kidney stones have been hiding.
In addition to the kidney stones, the CT scan showed a new mass inside my abdomen and they don't know what it is. I'm seeing a specialist about it next week.
Oh Bonesie, I'm sorry, that is scary, I find knowing 'something' might be happening but not knowing what really difficult to cope with. I hope the specialist can give you some info quickly and I hope it isn't anything too much to sort out. Did they find your kidney stones at the same time? xx
Thanks, Tupp.
They did locate the kidney stones at the same time they found this thing. I'm trying to keep a lid on my anxiety.
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Feeling scared right now.
I recently had a CT scan to try and locate where various kidney stones have been hiding.
In addition to the kidney stones, the CT scan showed a new mass inside my abdomen and they don't know what it is. I'm seeing a specialist about it next week.
Oh Bonesie, I'm sorry, that is scary, I find knowing 'something' might be happening but not knowing what really difficult to cope with. I hope the specialist can give you some info quickly and I hope it isn't anything too much to sort out. Did they find your kidney stones at the same time? xx
Thanks, Tupp.
They did locate the kidney stones at the same time they found this thing. I'm trying to keep a lid on my anxiety.
[/quote
Can they treat kidney stones? It's another thing I know nothing about :) I hope the appointment with the specialist goes well and that they can give you some useful information when you see them xx
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Feeling scared right now.
I recently had a CT scan to try and locate where various kidney stones have been hiding.
In addition to the kidney stones, the CT scan showed a new mass inside my abdomen and they don't know what it is. I'm seeing a specialist about it next week.
Oh Bonesie, I'm sorry, that is scary, I find knowing 'something' might be happening but not knowing what really difficult to cope with. I hope the specialist can give you some info quickly and I hope it isn't anything too much to sort out. Did they find your kidney stones at the same time? xx
Thanks, Tupp.
They did locate the kidney stones at the same time they found this thing. I'm trying to keep a lid on my anxiety.
[/quote
Can they treat kidney stones? It's another thing I know nothing about :) I hope the appointment with the specialist goes well and that they can give you some useful information when you see them xx
Thanks, Tupp.
This medical mess is getting complicated.
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Sending steadiness.
fwiw,
Hops
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Sending steadiness.
fwiw,
Hops
Thanks.
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Have you seen the other doctor yet, Bonesie? I was wondering if they'd given you any more information yet? xx
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Have you seen the other doctor yet, Bonesie? I was wondering if they'd given you any more information yet? xx
I saw the specialist last week where they did some blood work and I go back on December 5th for follow up.
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I'm sorry for the wait, Bones.
That is pretty hard.
Are you finding good distractions
to stave off worry as best you can?
For me, it's movies.
Hops
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I'm sorry for the wait, Bones.
That is pretty hard.
Are you finding good distractions
to stave off worry as best you can?
For me, it's movies.
Hops
I'm browsing through You Tube videos.
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YouTube is one of my favorite anesthetics.
I've been waiting for a test report too. Nothing dire
but I know it just causes a background tension.
It's a comfort to plug in to some other story.
Keep us posted...
Hops
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Have you seen the other doctor yet, Bonesie? I was wondering if they'd given you any more information yet? xx
I saw the specialist last week where they did some blood work and I go back on December 5th for follow up.
I hope they come back with useful information, Bonesie, I find waiting for things so hard, I think more in the winter because it just seems harder when the weather isn't great? I don't know why. I think of you in the mornings when our neighbour's cheeky cats come out :) I don't have a front garden as such, there's a small paved section next to the doorstep that runs along the pavement but it isn't fence in or anything, but across from that is a lovely tree where I put the bird feeders out. There's a wall that runs behind that and the cats have taken to hiding behind the wall in the morning until I put the bird food out and then they kind of stroll along as if they think they won't be spotted if they do it slowly. Lol. They come over for a stroke and then go and hide back behind the wall until I go back in and then they take up their positions underneath the tree while they hope one of the birds will land nearby (they never do because I put the feeders up high where they can't get to them easily). One of them's super fast but the other one is quite clumsy and every time he tries to catch a bird he falls over himself lol xx
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Have you seen the other doctor yet, Bonesie? I was wondering if they'd given you any more information yet? xx
I saw the specialist last week where they did some blood work and I go back on December 5th for follow up.
I hope they come back with useful information, Bonesie, I find waiting for things so hard, I think more in the winter because it just seems harder when the weather isn't great? I don't know why. I think of you in the mornings when our neighbour's cheeky cats come out :) I don't have a front garden as such, there's a small paved section next to the doorstep that runs along the pavement but it isn't fence in or anything, but across from that is a lovely tree where I put the bird feeders out. There's a wall that runs behind that and the cats have taken to hiding behind the wall in the morning until I put the bird food out and then they kind of stroll along as if they think they won't be spotted if they do it slowly. Lol. They come over for a stroke and then go and hide back behind the wall until I go back in and then they take up their positions underneath the tree while they hope one of the birds will land nearby (they never do because I put the feeders up high where they can't get to them easily). One of them's super fast but the other one is quite clumsy and every time he tries to catch a bird he falls over himself lol xx
Cats are so funny!!
I've been searching for cat videos while trying to cope with waiting for the test results.
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Hope you hear soon, Bones.
And that you have a place and people for Thanksgiving, or if not, a peaceful day at home.
Happy cat videos! (I'm stuck on dog ones.)
Hops
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Hope you hear soon, Bones.
And that you have a place and people for Thanksgiving, or if not, a peaceful day at home.
Happy cat videos! (I'm stuck on dog ones.)
Hops
Thanks.
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How are you doing, Bonesie, have you had any more news yet? Hope you are okay, I think about you most days x
Grey Boy Long Legs came to visit me yesterday. I was out on the front step drinking my tea and he sauntered over, plonked himself down next to me and presented his belly for a rub :) Obviously I obliged, he lay there for about five minutes before getting up and sauntering off again. Lol. I'm wondering if he has a circuit of belly rubbers that he visits throughout the day? xx
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How are you doing, Bonesie, have you had any more news yet? Hope you are okay, I think about you most days x
Grey Boy Long Legs came to visit me yesterday. I was out on the front step drinking my tea and he sauntered over, plonked himself down next to me and presented his belly for a rub :) Obviously I obliged, he lay there for about five minutes before getting up and sauntering off again. Lol. I'm wondering if he has a circuit of belly rubbers that he visits throughout the day? xx
LOL! He sounds cute!
The blood tests came back okay and the doctor took some cell samples to send to the lab. I haven't heard anything else about that last test. I guess no news is good news?
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How are you doing, Bonesie, have you had any more news yet? Hope you are okay, I think about you most days x
Grey Boy Long Legs came to visit me yesterday. I was out on the front step drinking my tea and he sauntered over, plonked himself down next to me and presented his belly for a rub :) Obviously I obliged, he lay there for about five minutes before getting up and sauntering off again. Lol. I'm wondering if he has a circuit of belly rubbers that he visits throughout the day? xx
LOL! He sounds cute!
The blood tests came back okay and the doctor took some cell samples to send to the lab. I haven't heard anything else about that last test. I guess no news is good news?
I will keep my fingers crossed that no news is good news, I know that here they tend to contact people quickly if there's something unpleasant so I'd guess it would be the same there? Fingers crossed that means all is well :)
He is so cute! He and my cat have staring competitions; she sits on the window ledge looking out into the front garden and he sits in the front garden and they just eye ball each other for ages :) Lol xx
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How are you doing, Bonesie, have you had any more news yet? Hope you are okay, I think about you most days x
Grey Boy Long Legs came to visit me yesterday. I was out on the front step drinking my tea and he sauntered over, plonked himself down next to me and presented his belly for a rub :) Obviously I obliged, he lay there for about five minutes before getting up and sauntering off again. Lol. I'm wondering if he has a circuit of belly rubbers that he visits throughout the day? xx
LOL! He sounds cute!
The blood tests came back okay and the doctor took some cell samples to send to the lab. I haven't heard anything else about that last test. I guess no news is good news?
I will keep my fingers crossed that no news is good news, I know that here they tend to contact people quickly if there's something unpleasant so I'd guess it would be the same there? Fingers crossed that means all is well :)
He is so cute! He and my cat have staring competitions; she sits on the window ledge looking out into the front garden and he sits in the front garden and they just eye ball each other for ages :) Lol xx
They did tell me they will refer me to another ultrasound in three months.
Cats are funny!
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Bones, I'm glad to hear an update...
Three months to the ultrasound sounds encouraging, as in "watch and wait" -- I guess if they thought something dangerous was happening fast, they'd not let you wait.
Hope you're coping and have LOTS of excellent cat videos.
Hops
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We've discovered a new cat, Bonesie! Pure white, big bushy tail (almost looks like a squirrel lol), very friendly and hangs around the bus stop! Loves to sit on people's laps while they wait for the bus and has, I'm told, got on the bus a few times and had to be shooed off :) The owner came out when we were stroking her and asked if we wanted to have her; they are having to re-home because their child has developed an allergy to the fur and is getting asthma attacks. I had to say no; our cat hates other cats and we can't really afford another pet. But she is just soooo cute it was difficult to resist!
How have you been lately? Is the weather starting to improve yet? We're getting more daylight now and it's quite mild at the moment, but heavy rain quite a lot of the time so I seem to be constantly cleaning mud off the floor lol xx
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We've discovered a new cat, Bonesie! Pure white, big bushy tail (almost looks like a squirrel lol), very friendly and hangs around the bus stop! Loves to sit on people's laps while they wait for the bus and has, I'm told, got on the bus a few times and had to be shooed off :) The owner came out when we were stroking her and asked if we wanted to have her; they are having to re-home because their child has developed an allergy to the fur and is getting asthma attacks. I had to say no; our cat hates other cats and we can't really afford another pet. But she is just soooo cute it was difficult to resist!
How have you been lately? Is the weather starting to improve yet? We're getting more daylight now and it's quite mild at the moment, but heavy rain quite a lot of the time so I seem to be constantly cleaning mud off the floor lol xx
Oh, what a CUTIE!!!!
I'm still taking things one day at a time.
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We've discovered a new cat, Bonesie! Pure white, big bushy tail (almost looks like a squirrel lol), very friendly and hangs around the bus stop! Loves to sit on people's laps while they wait for the bus and has, I'm told, got on the bus a few times and had to be shooed off :) The owner came out when we were stroking her and asked if we wanted to have her; they are having to re-home because their child has developed an allergy to the fur and is getting asthma attacks. I had to say no; our cat hates other cats and we can't really afford another pet. But she is just soooo cute it was difficult to resist!
How have you been lately? Is the weather starting to improve yet? We're getting more daylight now and it's quite mild at the moment, but heavy rain quite a lot of the time so I seem to be constantly cleaning mud off the floor lol xx
Oh, what a CUTIE!!!!
I'm still taking things one day at a time.
One day at a time is a good plan, I think :) The weather is so bad here at the moment that there are no cats to be seen; they are very wisely staying indoors where it's warm :) xx
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We've discovered a new cat, Bonesie! Pure white, big bushy tail (almost looks like a squirrel lol), very friendly and hangs around the bus stop! Loves to sit on people's laps while they wait for the bus and has, I'm told, got on the bus a few times and had to be shooed off :) The owner came out when we were stroking her and asked if we wanted to have her; they are having to re-home because their child has developed an allergy to the fur and is getting asthma attacks. I had to say no; our cat hates other cats and we can't really afford another pet. But she is just soooo cute it was difficult to resist!
How have you been lately? Is the weather starting to improve yet? We're getting more daylight now and it's quite mild at the moment, but heavy rain quite a lot of the time so I seem to be constantly cleaning mud off the floor lol xx
Oh, what a CUTIE!!!!
I'm still taking things one day at a time.
One day at a time is a good plan, I think :) The weather is so bad here at the moment that there are no cats to be seen; they are very wisely staying indoors where it's warm :) xx
Smart Fur Babies.
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How are you doing over there, Bonesie? It's very strange here at the minute. So much has closed down. I hope you are okay and able to get food and medication, if necessary. And I hope there are some cute fur babies to spy from the window xx
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How are you doing over there, Bonesie? It's very strange here at the minute. So much has closed down. I hope you are okay and able to get food and medication, if necessary. And I hope there are some cute fur babies to spy from the window xx
Thanks, Tup.
I landed in the hospital for 24 hours where I was kept in quarantine before they sent me home to shelter in place until my COVID-19 test results come back. It felt like being in a sci-fi movie where hospital staff were in haz-mat.
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Aaack!
I hope very much you don't have it, Bones.
Hops
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Aaack!
I hope very much you don't have it, Bones.
Hops
Thank you.
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How are you doing over there, Bonesie? It's very strange here at the minute. So much has closed down. I hope you are okay and able to get food and medication, if necessary. And I hope there are some cute fur babies to spy from the window xx
Thanks, Tup.
I landed in the hospital for 24 hours where I was kept in quarantine before they sent me home to shelter in place until my COVID-19 test results come back. It felt like being in a sci-fi movie where hospital staff were in haz-mat.
Oh Bonesie, I'm so sorry to hear that, yep, it is living in some sort of dystopian sci fi movie right now, in all honesty I never thought I would see anything like that. I will keep everything crossed that the results are negative. Were they able to tell you when they get the results back? I imagine they're swamped at the minute. Take very good care of you, Bonesie, I'll be thinking of you when the cute cats come to visit later xx
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How are you doing over there, Bonesie? It's very strange here at the minute. So much has closed down. I hope you are okay and able to get food and medication, if necessary. And I hope there are some cute fur babies to spy from the window xx
Thanks, Tup.
I landed in the hospital for 24 hours where I was kept in quarantine before they sent me home to shelter in place until my COVID-19 test results come back. It felt like being in a sci-fi movie where hospital staff were in haz-mat.
Oh Bonesie, I'm so sorry to hear that, yep, it is living in some sort of dystopian sci fi movie right now, in all honesty I never thought I would see anything like that. I will keep everything crossed that the results are negative. Were they able to tell you when they get the results back? I imagine they're swamped at the minute. Take very good care of you, Bonesie, I'll be thinking of you when the cute cats come to visit later xx
Thanks, Tup.
I think it takes about a week to get the results.
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I will keep everything crossed, Bonesie, take good care of yourself in the meantime xx xx
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I will keep everything crossed, Bonesie, take good care of yourself in the meantime xx xx
Thanks.
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Hi Bonesie, did you get your results through yet? xx
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Hi Bonesie, did you get your results through yet? xx
The COVID-19 test results came back negative. I'm still in quarantine because I got exposed to the Corona virus in the emergency room.
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Well, shoot.
That seems so frustratingly UNFAIR to me.
Fingers crossed for you, Bones...I hear it takes about 5 days
for any symptoms to show. Hope you sail on through.
Hops
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Hi Bonesie, did you get your results through yet? xx
The COVID-19 test results came back negative. I'm still in quarantine because I got exposed to the Corona virus in the emergency room.
I'm glad that test came back negative, Bonesie, and hope nothing else comes up now, will they test you again or just wait to see if there are symptoms? I'm crossing my fingers that there will be none.
I've started researching my family tree! Just confirming things I already know at the moment by finding formal records but even that is interesting. I have found a little girl who died at the age of two (would have been my dad's little sister) who I never knew about before. I'm looking forward to finding out more, it is quite intensive, though. I expect you're used to it because you've done so much.
And cute ginger cat was asleep in the tree outside earlier, paws dangling down either side like a tiger :) Lol xx
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Hi Bonesie, did you get your results through yet? xx
The COVID-19 test results came back negative. I'm still in quarantine because I got exposed to the Corona virus in the emergency room.
I'm glad that test came back negative, Bonesie, and hope nothing else comes up now, will they test you again or just wait to see if there are symptoms? I'm crossing my fingers that there will be none.
I've started researching my family tree! Just confirming things I already know at the moment by finding formal records but even that is interesting. I have found a little girl who died at the age of two (would have been my dad's little sister) who I never knew about before. I'm looking forward to finding out more, it is quite intensive, though. I expect you're used to it because you've done so much.
And cute ginger cat was asleep in the tree outside earlier, paws dangling down either side like a tiger :) Lol xx
I'm taking things one day at a time for now and the local governor has issued an order for everyone to stay home unless it's an emergency or essential.
Isn't researching family history fun?!?!? You'll never know what surprises you might find!
That cat sounds CUTE!!!!!!!!
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How are you doing, Bonesie? I've not done much more family research just lately - seem to be finding it hard to motivate myself at the moment. But still being visited by cute cats, mostly because we get a lot of birds in the tree outside the house at the moment :) Hope you're doing okay xx
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How are you doing, Bonesie? I've not done much more family research just lately - seem to be finding it hard to motivate myself at the moment. But still being visited by cute cats, mostly because we get a lot of birds in the tree outside the house at the moment :) Hope you're doing okay xx
I'm taking things one day at a time. Those cats sound CUTE!
With family research, a new third cousin just found me this past month.
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I'm just soooooooooo glad your Covid-19 text was negative, Bones.
WHEW.
Makes everything else shrink in perspective.
Stay well,
Hops
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How are you doing, Bonesie? I've not done much more family research just lately - seem to be finding it hard to motivate myself at the moment. But still being visited by cute cats, mostly because we get a lot of birds in the tree outside the house at the moment :) Hope you're doing okay xx
I'm taking things one day at a time. Those cats sound CUTE!
With family research, a new third cousin just found me this past month.
One day at a time sounds like a good plan, Bonesie. The cats are cute, I spend so much time watching them. The grass opposite our house is really long now, then you've got the trees with all the birds in and the cats all milling about in the long grass, sometimes snoozing, sometimes stalking. There's a young one who's new to the block, I'm guessing he's only recently become old enough to be allowed out. He just sits mesmerised by what's going on around him, because he's seeing it for the first time. He was trying to catch blossom as it fell out of the tree and it was just so cute to watch.
How many relatives have you found altogether now, Bonesie are you able to keep track of them all? xx
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How are you doing, Bonesie? I've not done much more family research just lately - seem to be finding it hard to motivate myself at the moment. But still being visited by cute cats, mostly because we get a lot of birds in the tree outside the house at the moment :) Hope you're doing okay xx
I'm taking things one day at a time. Those cats sound CUTE!
With family research, a new third cousin just found me this past month.
One day at a time sounds like a good plan, Bonesie. The cats are cute, I spend so much time watching them. The grass opposite our house is really long now, then you've got the trees with all the birds in and the cats all milling about in the long grass, sometimes snoozing, sometimes stalking. There's a young one who's new to the block, I'm guessing he's only recently become old enough to be allowed out. He just sits mesmerised by what's going on around him, because he's seeing it for the first time. He was trying to catch blossom as it fell out of the tree and it was just so cute to watch.
How many relatives have you found altogether now, Bonesie are you able to keep track of them all? xx
I'm visualizing what that CUTE little kitten looks like!
I've managed to accumulate a lot of relatives in my database over the course of several years. The third cousin, who recently found me, is just getting started with her genealogy and because all of the libraries and archives are closed due to COVID-19, she's stuck and can't research on her own. I have a lot of binders, notes, documentation, and some books so I'm acting as a substitute library for her. Whenever she has a question, I can look it up in my research.
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How are you doing, Bonesie? I've not done much more family research just lately - seem to be finding it hard to motivate myself at the moment. But still being visited by cute cats, mostly because we get a lot of birds in the tree outside the house at the moment :) Hope you're doing okay xx
I'm taking things one day at a time. Those cats sound CUTE!
With family research, a new third cousin just found me this past month.
One day at a time sounds like a good plan, Bonesie. The cats are cute, I spend so much time watching them. The grass opposite our house is really long now, then you've got the trees with all the birds in and the cats all milling about in the long grass, sometimes snoozing, sometimes stalking. There's a young one who's new to the block, I'm guessing he's only recently become old enough to be allowed out. He just sits mesmerised by what's going on around him, because he's seeing it for the first time. He was trying to catch blossom as it fell out of the tree and it was just so cute to watch.
How many relatives have you found altogether now, Bonesie are you able to keep track of them all? xx
I'm visualizing what that CUTE little kitten looks like!
I've managed to accumulate a lot of relatives in my database over the course of several years. The third cousin, who recently found me, is just getting started with her genealogy and because all of the libraries and archives are closed due to COVID-19, she's stuck and can't research on her own. I have a lot of binders, notes, documentation, and some books so I'm acting as a substitute library for her. Whenever she has a question, I can look it up in my research.
That's nice of you to do that for her, Bonesie, did she find you online? I've not found any living relatives yet, I found a little one who passed away very young that I never knew about, on my paternal grandmother's side. That was sad, I'd like to see if I can find her grave once we're all allowed out again and take some flowers up there.
He is a cute kitty! Mostly grey with black stripes and little flecks of white, short haired, very sleek and shiny and just that skinny look young cats have because they've not filled out yet, you know? He's quite shy and won't come over to say hello but sits outside, he was wrestling grass yesterday, the cats have become like my daytime TV show! Lol xx
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How are you doing, Bonesie? I've not done much more family research just lately - seem to be finding it hard to motivate myself at the moment. But still being visited by cute cats, mostly because we get a lot of birds in the tree outside the house at the moment :) Hope you're doing okay xx
I'm taking things one day at a time. Those cats sound CUTE!
With family research, a new third cousin just found me this past month.
One day at a time sounds like a good plan, Bonesie. The cats are cute, I spend so much time watching them. The grass opposite our house is really long now, then you've got the trees with all the birds in and the cats all milling about in the long grass, sometimes snoozing, sometimes stalking. There's a young one who's new to the block, I'm guessing he's only recently become old enough to be allowed out. He just sits mesmerised by what's going on around him, because he's seeing it for the first time. He was trying to catch blossom as it fell out of the tree and it was just so cute to watch.
How many relatives have you found altogether now, Bonesie are you able to keep track of them all? xx
I'm visualizing what that CUTE little kitten looks like!
I've managed to accumulate a lot of relatives in my database over the course of several years. The third cousin, who recently found me, is just getting started with her genealogy and because all of the libraries and archives are closed due to COVID-19, she's stuck and can't research on her own. I have a lot of binders, notes, documentation, and some books so I'm acting as a substitute library for her. Whenever she has a question, I can look it up in my research.
That's nice of you to do that for her, Bonesie, did she find you online? I've not found any living relatives yet, I found a little one who passed away very young that I never knew about, on my paternal grandmother's side. That was sad, I'd like to see if I can find her grave once we're all allowed out again and take some flowers up there.
He is a cute kitty! Mostly grey with black stripes and little flecks of white, short haired, very sleek and shiny and just that skinny look young cats have because they've not filled out yet, you know? He's quite shy and won't come over to say hello but sits outside, he was wrestling grass yesterday, the cats have become like my daytime TV show! Lol xx
My third cousin found me through the website Find-A-Grave. You might be able to find info on your paternal grandmother's side there.
Wrestling grass! LOL!! CUTE!!!!!
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Aw thanks Bonesie, I'll have a look, it's a four to five hour drive to start looking around churches near where they used to live so a website is much easier! Yes, he's a cute grass wrestler lol xx
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Aw thanks Bonesie, I'll have a look, it's a four to five hour drive to start looking around churches near where they used to live so a website is much easier! Yes, he's a cute grass wrestler lol xx
If you'd like, I could send you the link.
Hopefully, some day, the kitty will come over and say hello.
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That would be great, Bonesie, if you don't mind, thank you :)
Yes he'll probably say hi when he's ready :) There were two on either end of the wall last night, looking like book ends lol, they're so cute xx
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That would be great, Bonesie, if you don't mind, thank you :)
Yes he'll probably say hi when he's ready :) There were two on either end of the wall last night, looking like book ends lol, they're so cute xx
Here ya go:
https://www.findagrave.com/
CUTE cats!!!
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That would be great, Bonesie, if you don't mind, thank you :)
Yes he'll probably say hi when he's ready :) There were two on either end of the wall last night, looking like book ends lol, they're so cute xx
Here ya go:
https://www.findagrave.com/
CUTE cats!!!
Thank you so much, Bonesie, I'll have a look later on :)
You would have loved the kitties this morning! The younger one climbed the tree, all the way to the top, and then it looked like he wasn't sure about getting back down again. The cute ginger cat climbed up to him and it honestly looked like he showed him the way down. The ginger one went down a few steps, turned to the younger one, he came down a little way, the ginger one went down a bit further, and they went like that until they got down to the bigger branches and then he managed on his own :) So cute. The council guys have been out to cut the grass this morning so no more hiding in the long grass for the kitties. The birds will probably be happier for it but I will miss seeing their little ears bobbing about behind the grass clumps :) xx
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That would be great, Bonesie, if you don't mind, thank you :)
Yes he'll probably say hi when he's ready :) There were two on either end of the wall last night, looking like book ends lol, they're so cute xx
Here ya go:
https://www.findagrave.com/
CUTE cats!!!
Thank you so much, Bonesie, I'll have a look later on :)
You would have loved the kitties this morning! The younger one climbed the tree, all the way to the top, and then it looked like he wasn't sure about getting back down again. The cute ginger cat climbed up to him and it honestly looked like he showed him the way down. The ginger one went down a few steps, turned to the younger one, he came down a little way, the ginger one went down a bit further, and they went like that until they got down to the bigger branches and then he managed on his own :) So cute. The council guys have been out to cut the grass this morning so no more hiding in the long grass for the kitties. The birds will probably be happier for it but I will miss seeing their little ears bobbing about behind the grass clumps :) xx
AWWWWWWWWW!!!! So CUTE!!!!
You're welcome. I'll help as much as I can.
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Thanks, Bonesie, I really appreciate that xx
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Thanks, Bonesie, I really appreciate that xx
You're welcome.
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How are you doing, Bonesie? Are you still on lockdown in your area or are things a bit better there now?
Cute ginger cat was so focused on getting his ears rubbed yesterday that he toppled over again and rolled down the steps :) Lol xx
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How are you doing, Bonesie? Are you still on lockdown in your area or are things a bit better there now?
Cute ginger cat was so focused on getting his ears rubbed yesterday that he toppled over again and rolled down the steps :) Lol xx
I'm still staying put even though my area is entering Phase 2.
That Fur Baby sounds ADORABLE!!!!!
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How are you doing, Bonesie? Are you still on lockdown in your area or are things a bit better there now?
Cute ginger cat was so focused on getting his ears rubbed yesterday that he toppled over again and rolled down the steps :) Lol xx
I'm still staying put even though my area is entering Phase 2.
That Fur Baby sounds ADORABLE!!!!!
He is just the cutest little guy, so friendly and he's still quite young so he's long and gangly and looks like he needs to grow into his paws :) He's so sweet. Are your phases the same as ours? So Phase 2 is heading into lower risk and things opening up again territory? We are still officially at Stage 4 which is dangerous, contagious and not a good idea and they've opened the shops up today. We are staying away as well! Hope that you are well. I've not done much more family info yet, we did think we'd found some new relatives but it turned out to be a false alarm but I will keep you posted with anything interesting that turns up :) xx
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How are you doing, Bonesie? Are you still on lockdown in your area or are things a bit better there now?
Cute ginger cat was so focused on getting his ears rubbed yesterday that he toppled over again and rolled down the steps :) Lol xx
I'm still staying put even though my area is entering Phase 2.
That Fur Baby sounds ADORABLE!!!!!
He is just the cutest little guy, so friendly and he's still quite young so he's long and gangly and looks like he needs to grow into his paws :) He's so sweet. Are your phases the same as ours? So Phase 2 is heading into lower risk and things opening up again territory? We are still officially at Stage 4 which is dangerous, contagious and not a good idea and they've opened the shops up today. We are staying away as well! Hope that you are well. I've not done much more family info yet, we did think we'd found some new relatives but it turned out to be a false alarm but I will keep you posted with anything interesting that turns up :) xx
Your Phase 2 sounds similar, businesses opening back up with masks and social distancing even though COVID-19 is still around. I'm afraid of what's going to happen next.
Please give the Fur Baby cuddles from me.
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Hi Bonesie, how are you doing? Have things in your area settled down at all yet?
I think two of the fur babies have moved away; the house I think they lived in looks empty and I've not seen them around for a while. They were cute, I'll miss them. There are three now who hang around the tree with the birds in it all the time; they're very cute but quite timid so no cuddles just yet.
Hope you are doing okay xx
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Hi Bonesie, how are you doing? Have things in your area settled down at all yet?
I think two of the fur babies have moved away; the house I think they lived in looks empty and I've not seen them around for a while. They were cute, I'll miss them. There are three now who hang around the tree with the birds in it all the time; they're very cute but quite timid so no cuddles just yet.
Hope you are doing okay xx
I've been laying low as I'm dealing with a rough patch.
A close friend of mine died suddenly and I got hit with another kidney stone. The year 2020 just SUCKS!
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OUCH. I'm sorry, Bones.
Hope the rest of the year spares you more pain.
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OUCH. I'm sorry, Bones.
Hope the rest of the year spares you more pain.
Thank you.
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Hi Bonesie, how are you doing? Have things in your area settled down at all yet?
I think two of the fur babies have moved away; the house I think they lived in looks empty and I've not seen them around for a while. They were cute, I'll miss them. There are three now who hang around the tree with the birds in it all the time; they're very cute but quite timid so no cuddles just yet.
Hope you are doing okay xx
I've been laying low as I'm dealing with a rough patch.
A close friend of mine died suddenly and I got hit with another kidney stone. The year 2020 just SUCKS!
Ah, Bones, I'm sorry to hear that, I think 2020 is going to be a year that many people will be glad to see the back of. I'm so sorry about your friend, that's hard to deal with. How do they deal with kidney stones, do you just have to wait for it to go or is there something that helps get rid of them. I've heard they're very painful. I hope you're alright, I do think of you often, especially when I see cute cats! Lots of love xx xx
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Hi Bonesie, how are you doing? Have things in your area settled down at all yet?
I think two of the fur babies have moved away; the house I think they lived in looks empty and I've not seen them around for a while. They were cute, I'll miss them. There are three now who hang around the tree with the birds in it all the time; they're very cute but quite timid so no cuddles just yet.
Hope you are doing okay xx
I've been laying low as I'm dealing with a rough patch.
A close friend of mine died suddenly and I got hit with another kidney stone. The year 2020 just SUCKS!
Ah, Bones, I'm sorry to hear that, I think 2020 is going to be a year that many people will be glad to see the back of. I'm so sorry about your friend, that's hard to deal with. How do they deal with kidney stones, do you just have to wait for it to go or is there something that helps get rid of them. I've heard they're very painful. I hope you're alright, I do think of you often, especially when I see cute cats! Lots of love xx xx
Thanks. How kidney stones are dealt with depends on the size of the stone and whether or not it gets stuck. If it's large enough, it gets treated with lithotripsy. If it's small enough, they prescribe medication to try to get it to pass on its own. I'm on the medication right now trying to eject it. I try to distract myself enjoying other folks' cats while I wait.
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Sorry for your loss and for the pain you're dealing with, Bones.
I'm glad you find comfort in the kitties.
Lighter
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I wrote an article on lithotripsy when it first came into use years ago, Bones.
It seemed like an amazing technology that saved a lot of suffering.
Fingers crossed the pain passes soon, one way or another.
Hops
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My father had lithotripsy and that stone was done and passed in about an hour.
This was many years ago, so it's likely super dialed in by now.
Lighter
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Bones, you would love the bus ride through our estate. When it's sunny, the porch roofs and window ledges are just covered in cats lounging in the sun :) It's so cute. My son just called me into his bedroom; there's a tree outside the front of our house and it's branches stretch over and almost touch his window. When he opened his curtains one of the neighbours cats was sitting on the smallest branch you could imagine, just peering in his room, it was so cute. I hope the meds help the stone to go, it sounds very unpleasant and waiting for things to happen is always hard. I hope it goes away soon xx
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Tupp,
Even though I can't spoil Fur Babies myself, I found this ADORABLE video of a kitten having a Spa Day!
Enjoy!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LNqZoKYl95o
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BONES!
So glad your voice is back.
I hope the health troubles have passed.
Much peace to you.
hugs
Hops
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Tupp,
Even though I can't spoil Fur Babies myself, I found this ADORABLE video of a kitten having a Spa Day!
Enjoy!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LNqZoKYl95o
Oh my God that is so cute!! Aw she's just such a sweet little munchkin! I know right now my cat would not put up with that lol xx
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BONES!
So glad your voice is back.
I hope the health troubles have passed.
Much peace to you.
hugs
Hops
I'm staying shut in as the Pandemic is still going here as a result of Halloween, Thanksgiving, and now Christmas.
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My therapist said my NM had narcissistic traits and a borderline personality.
She was mostly very in charge of everything.....although I realize she didn't know everything?
What ever she said was what was done.......my dad and her mother who screamed and yelled a lot put up with her all the time and acted afraid of her........me being the kid I was afraid too.but I had no choice.......
Life was insane and I knew it from the time I was about four years old.
So yes I believe their behavior does Violate others...........
I felt no one mattered but herself......she had very little compassion or loving ways ......if she acted nice or put that smile on her face I realized over time she wanted something from me to do for her.
She wanted no part of home.......she was a secretary to men in the old days and I would hear at home she was kissing their ass......not literally.
Life was truly about herself.......
When my dad died age 51 she told me she was so glad he was dead.......I think that was an awful thing to say to her only daughter. I loved my dad and he was kind and loving unlike her.
My own husband passed a way just 3 months ago and that goes through my mind.....never would I ever say such a thing.......I loved him truly and miss him so so much.
I could go on and on here......PS she died at age 100 plus and omg what a selfish individual, in 2008.
Bettyanne
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My therapist said my NM had narcissistic traits and a borderline personality.
She was mostly very in charge of everything.....although I realize she didn't know everything?
What ever she said was what was done.......my dad and her mother who screamed and yelled a lot put up with her all the time and acted afraid of her........me being the kid I was afraid too.but I had no choice.......
Life was insane and I knew it from the time I was about four years old.
So yes I believe their behavior does Violate others...........
I felt no one mattered but herself......she had very little compassion or loving ways ......if she acted nice or put that smile on her face I realized over time she wanted something from me to do for her.
She wanted no part of home.......she was a secretary to men in the old days and I would hear at home she was kissing their ass......not literally.
Life was truly about herself.......
When my dad died age 51 she told me she was so glad he was dead.......I think that was an awful thing to say to her only daughter. I loved my dad and he was kind and loving unlike her.
My own husband passed a way just 3 months ago and that goes through my mind.....never would I ever say such a thing.......I loved him truly and miss him so so much.
I could go on and on here......PS she died at age 100 plus and omg what a selfish individual, in 2008.
Bettyanne
Hi, Bettyanne.
My Birth Breeder was a Narcissistic Rageaholic and Karma eventually caught up with her. She died in 1997.
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How old was she BonesMS...?
I think some of these N live such long lives......just to get their anger out......and out and out.
Never to feel compassion or love........
God I think I am lucky to be alive sometimes and other times I feel it was so unfair.
Thanks for this discussion.....
Bettyanne. xoxo
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How old was she BonesMS...?
I think some of these N live such long lives......just to get their anger out......and out and out.
Never to feel compassion or love........
God I think I am lucky to be alive sometimes and other times I feel it was so unfair.
Thanks for this discussion.....
Bettyanne. xoxo
She died at the age of 84 after she lost everything.
You're welcome.
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It's been awhile since I posted and wanted to check in.
I'm trying to figure out my emotions regarding the death of a narcissist this past Friday.
Part of me feels sad for his twin brother as no one saw this death coming.
Another part of me feels relieved that this narcissist won't be driving everybody crazy anymore.
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Good to hear you, Bones.
I was just reading a Carolyn Hax column about someone's ambivalent grief...imo, your mixed feelings are totally normal and nothing to judge. If you feel even other unexpected shades of feelings as you process this N's death, that's normal too.
Twins and one of them an N? Wow. Complicated for the non-N one.
Welcome back,
Hops
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Hi, Bones:
There's nothing wrong with any feelings you have. They're all part of you. They all belong.
I think relief is normal and appropriate, btw.
Glad to see you back on the board.
Lighter
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Good to hear you, Bones.
I was just reading a Carolyn Hax column about someone's ambivalent grief...imo, your mixed feelings are totally normal and nothing to judge. If you feel even other unexpected shades of feelings as you process this N's death, that's normal too.
Twins and one of them an N? Wow. Complicated for the non-N one.
Welcome back,
Hops
It was real complicated for the non-N twin. I'm silently thinking: "Dobbin is a free elf."
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Hi, Bones:
There's nothing wrong with any feelings you have. They're all part of you. They all belong.
I think relief is normal and appropriate, btw.
Glad to see you back on the board.
Lighter
Thanks.
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I'm not sure if I had mentioned his N-behaviors in previous postings. I feel a huge sense of RELIEF that we will never be subjected to that again.
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It's good to see you, Bonesie :) I think it's odd when someone difficult/abusive/uncaring or whatever they may have been passes. I think we can sometimes care for the person but not the behaviour and that's hard to separate out. I feel sorry for his twin, he's probably been subjected to a lot over the years. How have you been other than that? xx
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It's good to see you, Bonesie :) I think it's odd when someone difficult/abusive/uncaring or whatever they may have been passes. I think we can sometimes care for the person but not the behaviour and that's hard to separate out. I feel sorry for his twin, he's probably been subjected to a lot over the years. How have you been other than that? xx
I'm trying to deal with stuff one day at a time.
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I'm not sure if I had mentioned his N-behaviors in previous postings. I feel a huge sense of RELIEF that we will never be subjected to that again.
I didn't assume you meant anything in particular, Bones.
Frankly, I don't think it matters what or why we feel.
It matters that we tend to our feelings, whatever they are, and know they belong, IME. Without judgment.
Lighter
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I'm not sure if I had mentioned his N-behaviors in previous postings. I feel a huge sense of RELIEF that we will never be subjected to that again.
I didn't assume you meant anything in particular, Bones.
Frankly, I don't think it matters what or why we feel.
It matters that we tend to our feelings, whatever they are, and know they belong, IME. Without judgment.
Lighter
Thanks.